Tag Archives: soap opera

Nov21

November 20, 2015 — Cassadines, Mini Chefs & Corporate Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Nina tells Franco she called every lawyer except Ric, but everyone is unavailable. Franco says that’s okay, he’s been in jail so often, he has a rewards card. Nathan says everything points to Franco’s car having run Carly off the road. Wouldn’t they have interviewed him before arresting him? Or at least asked him where he was?

Morgan tells Kiki about Franco’s arrest.

All righty then! I guess Nicholas and Hayden must have sealed the deal because they’re waking up together. Good. They’re one of the few couples I like. Lots of I love you stuff. Oh, thanks, GH. All of a sudden, Nicholas is trying to choke her and it’s all a dream.

Ha-ha! Jason drops down into the Cassadine mansion on a Mission Impossible rope, while the theme plays in my head. When a guard sees the rope and investigates, Jason jumps him.

Sam and Elizabeth are on the plane to Greece. Sam says Elizabeth is just trying to do damage control. She says Elizabeth is afraid that Helena will bring back memories, and that Jason will remember that Elizabeth could never accept him as he is. I wasn’t watching a lot during the whole Sam/Jason/Elizabeth storylines, so I really don’t know what went on. Probably when Jason remembers, I’ll get the lowdown.

No matter what Nathan says, Franco tells him it wasn’t me (meaning Franco, not me). Nathan says given Franco’s history with Carly, it might not have even been an accident. Franco says his car was in the garage all night, while he and Nina gave crappy candy to kids in crappy plastic costumes. He says the next day, he saw his car had been scratched. Nathan says it’s irrefutable that it was his car, so he must have gone out. Suddenly, Franco says it was his car.

Kiki tells Morgan that it was her, not Franco who had the car out, and she wants to turn herself in. Morgan asks her why. She says basic human decency. Wow. She actually knows what that is.

Hayden visits Sean in prison. He says that he didn’t mean to shoot her and was aiming for Jake Doe, and that he’s prayed she would be okay.

Jason steals the guard’s key card and let’s himself into…where?

Sam says she wants Jason to have his life back so he can make his own choices. Elizabeth says a bunch of really nasty stuff and Sam throws a drink at her. She should have aimed a little higher though. It mostly hit Elizabeth in the chest and not face. I assume this was a directional choice. It takes too much time to reapply makeup maybe?

Franco says that after Nina went to bed, he was restless and went out. It’s pretty obvious he’s making this up as he goes along. Nathan just sits there and watches Roger Howarth work. Nathan wants Franco to write out a statement.

Since everyone can just come and go in jail, Kiki and Morgan come in where Franco is being held.

The stewardess has to tell these two grown women to settle down. They should have had Obrecht play that part, since she’s playing a stewardess in the Fear: 462 web series. Elizabeth asks questions that are none of her business. Sam says Elizabeth isn’t Jason’s equal, she’s a damsel in distress and was his cross to bear. This time Elizabeth throws a drink.

Hayden tells Sean that Jake is Jason.

Oh man, this is good. Jason enters a room where a closed door opens to – Nicholas, who beat him there. I have to get one of those Star Trek transporters like these people have.

Commercial break. What is this “winter finale” business? Why don’t the networks just admit that there are no TV seasons anymore and they’ll put their shows on any time they damn well please.

Nathan asks if Nina is covering for Franco. She says no, he was with her all night.

Franco says he’s taking the blame for Kiki and Morgan thinks this is okay, since her life is getting better now. Yeah, let’s teach her about lack of responsibility while we’re at it.

Hayden tells Sean she’s 99.9% sure the bullet that hit her wasn’t from his gun.

The stewardess threatens Sam and Elizabeth, but gives them another chance. She says whoever Jason might be, God help him. Sam asks Elizabeth to agree that right now they’re in this for Jason. Elizabeth says it’s one of the rare times she’s glad Sam is with her because Jason needs them both.

Nicholas says he assumed Jason was going to pay a visit to his grandmother. Jason asks what he’s afraid of Helena saying. Nicholas says not everything’s about him, and that Helena has taken a turn for the worse and he’s there to say good-by. Ha! Helena took a turn for the worse decades ago, but that didn’t keep her from being pretty feisty.

Franco says that a DUI would be the cherry on Kiki’s lack of a future cake. He says he’ll just get off with a fine. He says there was no loss of life, so why ruin hers? Um…she doesn’t have to say she was drunk. I can’t believe she’s going along with this. What a couple of lowlifes she and Morgan are being. Morgan goes blah-blah-blah what a nice guy Franco is.

Nina grabs Kiki on her way out. Kiki asks how Nina’s job is going, and Nina asks how the drinking is going. Kiki says she hasn’t touched a drop in two whole days. I don’t think Nina is buying this. Yep, I’m right. She busts In on Franco and asks why he’s confessing to a crime he didn’t commit.

Sam thinks Nicholas is involved. Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Nicholas did anything but nose around.

Hayden asks Sean if he saw anyone else, but he says no. He asks if she told the police, but she says no, because the guy who’s the real shooter might get wise and finish the job.

Nicholas says he asked Helena about Jason, but she refuses to answer. He asks why Jason continues to pursue a life of misery when he has a new one waiting for him. Jason tells him he doesn’t want to shoot him, but he will, and pushes him back into Helena’s boudoir.

There she is! Helena on oxygen, but other than that, she looks pretty spry. She’s certainly not on her last legs. I think this is a set up.

Hayden says she can’t go to the crime scene to look for the bullet, and asks Sean what to do. He says he knows someone who can help her.

Helena says she can’t leave her bed. Jason says, gee, I guess no one would think she might be faking. She says it hurts when she laughs and he says good and I laugh. Helena says she’s ready to cross her last bridge and Mikos will be waiting for her, but only if she can right some wrongs. Ha! She called Elizabeth insidious. I love her. Suddenly, Elizabeth and Sam’s asses are dragged into the room by the guards.

Nina says she knows Franco is covering for Kiki. Nina says she understands, but he’s enabling her. Franco says he hates psychobabble. Nina says it’s the truth. She says as a parental figure, he has to teach her there are consequences for actions and she has to take responsibility. Nina says they’re both contributing to society now, and they’re good together, but how can they continue if he goes to prison? She’s concerned that Nathan will pursue specific charges because it was Carly. I can’t believe Nathan doesn’t see what’s going on. Are all the detectives here stupid?

Oddly enough, Kiki is the only one making sense. She doesn’t think Franco should take the rap and she needs to own up to her responsibility. Morgan is like, you deserve a break after all you’ve been through. She says how is she supposed to be a better person and live with herself if Franco ends up in prison. Morgan says she needs a big change and she should leave Port Charles with him. What? Are there some stupidity enhancers in the water?

Franco says as soon as Scotty is back, he’ll get him off the hook. Nina is skeptical that Nathan won’t throw the book at him. Nina tells Nathan that it was Kiki driving the car.

Morgan – who apparently has no job either – tells Kiki let’s just go without any timeline. He talks about going to some cabin and putting Port Charles in the rear view mirror, and he’s going to sing a Meat Loaf song any second. Is he in another manic phase? This is just a bad freakin’ idea and Kiki should know better when he says I don’t want to see a shrink. Continuing to be a moron, she agrees.

Sean tells Hayden to make whoever did this to her pay.

For a sick lady, Helena doesn’t seem to have slowed down much. She says it’s a fascinating conundrum for Jason, since his wife is there and brought his fiancé. She calls them “Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber and I die laughing. She says she can rest when she’s dead.

Helena says in order to have redemption and see her beloved Mikos again, she has to tell Jason everything he needs to know.

Tomorrow, Helena talks, Morgan wears a weird hat and Epiphany smacks Sonny around.

General Hospital – Friday

Nina tells Nathan to let Franco go and arrest Kiki. Meanwhile, Kiki and Morgan arrive at his family’s cabin.

Sonny goes to the gym and after two seconds becomes a big baby and wants to go home. Too late, Epiphany blocks his exit.

Patrick clues Carly in on Jason and Sam going to Greece.

Helena says that returning little Jake is not the only contrition she has to make. She says there are some things that Jason might not want to know, but he says he wants to hear it all. So do I, so start talking, Helena.

Franco says he’s already signed a confession, so justice has won. Franco tells Nathan that Nina is just trying to cover for him, but he’s talking so fast and so much, I’m sure Nathan isn’t buying it. Yep. Nathan says he can’t believe he’s doing this, but calls to have the pictures pulled up from the car so he can get an ID on the driver.

Morgan finds fishing gear while Kiki tries to get a connection on her phone. She wants to call Franco, but Morgan says that it will just be a traffic violation for him and he’ll be out in no time. Morgan encourages her to go fishing, even though the cabin has everything. He’s definitely in a manic phase.

Epiphany (who I’m so glad is getting some screen time) tells Sonny he’s going to have to do his PT. He says it’s a gym for boxers and she counters with it’s a gym for fighters, and that’s what he is.

Carly argues with Patrick about the progress Jason has made. He complains about Sam going after Jason, and Carly says it doesn’t mean she loves him any less.

Helena says it’s tedious being in bed and she feels rejuvenated by having visitors. She gets all sarcastic with Elizabeth and I love it. She tells Jason his taste runs to insipid even without memories.   She says she’ll take as long as it amuses her. Sam asks what she did to Jason, and she says she saved his life. When Jason got shot, Helena’s associates scooped him out of the water and brought him to her. I’m being concise because she’s so full of funny, smart remarks, I can’t type it all that fast and I’m also trying to enjoy it.

Franco says he did the same thing for Nina, that he loves both her and Kiki in different ways. He says if she doesn’t understand that, maybe they should reevaluate their relationship. When Nathan produces the photo, Franco says it was Halloween and he was in a khaleesi costume. ROFL! Nina tells Nathan that the last time she saw Kiki, she was with Morgan.

Carly argues with Patrick who just isn’t having any because he’s almost a bigger baby than Sonny. Carly asks how he left things. Patrick says he was supportive and Sam said she’d come back to him, but he’s wondering if they’re kidding themselves. Carly gets a call from Nathan, who is looking for Morgan.

Kiki says she doesn’t want to stay that long at the cabin. Morgan says they’re wiping the slate clean and he wants to start over with her. He says that no one will ever find them there. Okay… Kiki tells him there isn’t “the two of us.” He says he’s not asking for anything but an adventure. Kiki says his family will miss him, but he says he’s just a drag to them. I concur. He says whatever she wants to do is fine, but he needs this. He asks if she wants to play cards and she says she wants to make it interesting.

Epiphany screeches at Sonny. She asks what he wants and he says to bash someone’s face in. She produces his boxing gloves. He says there’s no such thing as wheelchair boxing and she says he needs to get out more and to google it when he gets home. I guess there is such a thing then.

Carly storms into the police station and demands to know why Franco isn’t in handcuffs. Nathan tells her it was Kiki and she doesn’t believe it because she’s really ,really stupid, and can’t get a clue that Kiki was drunk. She insists that Franco is framing Kiki, but Nina says it was just the opposite and he’s noble as hell. Franco tries to call Kiki on the sly.

Morgan has apparently lost the card game and has to go jump in the water outside in his underwear. Franco gets through on the phone.

Patrick shows up at the gym. Sonny wants to school Patrick in boxing, because he doesn’t know enough to even wrap his hands.

Sam says she could have saved Jason. Helena says she would have retrieved a corpse if it hadn’t been for her. Sam says Helena has no clue what love is and that Mikos went off with her grandmother because Helena is unlovable. Oooh! Helena curses Sam and everyone close to her. She says Sam and her people will never know happiness. Could she please curse Elizabeth too, while she’s at it?

Carly can’t get through to Morgan. Franco tells Kiki that the police know what happened and tells her to run. Nathan grabs the phone, but it’s too late, they were cut off. Morgan comes back into the cabin after freezing his butt off in the water. Kiki says she feels sick. Morgan sees a message on his phone from Carly saying the police are looking for Kiki.

Sam says pfft! to Helena’s curse. Helena says just ask Luke and Laura about her curses. (That’s right! When she was Elizabeth Taylor, Helena cursed them at the wedding.) Elizabeth says let’s get out of here because she’s a wimp. Helena is like, why go before you get what you came for, and says her story has the power to change all of their lives. Oh boy! Oh boy! This new storyline could definitely take us through the new year.

Nathan asks Franco where Kiki is, and Franco acts cagey. Nathan says he’d be doing her a favor if he tells her to turn herself in. Franco is pissed at Nina for interfering. He says Nina needs some consequences, but stops short of saying he’s breaking up with her.

Kiki says they have to go back to Port Charles. She says Franco told her the police are looking for her. All the more reason not to go back, Morgan tells her. Morgan says he’ll tell Carly not to press charges, but Kiki says it’s probably not up to her. Morgan suggests they go to Canada. Kiki says he’s nuts (truth!) and then Morgan hears someone outside.

Sonny tells Patrick things might not turn out the way he thinks, and gives him boxing instruction.

Nicholas says Helena is getting tired and it’s time to take a break. Elizabeth says she probably doesn’t know anything and that Helena is weak and frail and should rest. Helena says how nice she’s concerned, but doesn’t she think Jason might want some answers. Sam says, are you saying you did this to Jason? Um…if that wasn’t the case, why would we even be here in the first place? For a smart woman, Sam often has trouble with the obvious.

Aww, Franco doesn’t really want to break up. He says he’s going to hide the remote so she’ll have to get up to change channels and when they get a dog, she’ll have to walk it. They say I love yous, and Nina says she’s sorry, but Kiki has to deal with her drinking.

Epiphany says Sonny did good today. Not just with the PT, but with encouraging Patrick. Carly comes in and asks Sonny if he’s seen Morgan, and explains what’s going on with the accident.

Uh-oh, Morgan thinks the cops are there and gets a gun. No good is going to come of this. Kiki says there’s no one there, but he loads the gun and says he’s going to protect her.

Sam says Helena must have wiped out Jason’s memory. Elizabeth says she did it to Lucky. Sam says Lucky was able to come back from it. Helena says anything is possible and Sam asks if she can do it.

Monday, Hleena plays more with her guests and Kiki hears a gunshot.

Master Chef Junior

In a nutshell. 8-year-olds cook better than I do, but are less realistic. They bring out astronaut Tracy Dyson, and one of the contestants says she would like to be a chef, a spy and an astronaut. Hmm…maybe kids are just more ambitious than I am.

Graham filets the most giant flat fish I have ever seen and it creeps me out a little.

I’m bucking for Avery to win.

Z Nation

We start with that piece of music from that commercial, you know what it is. Everything is in slo-mo, OBM fighting zombies in the woods. It also has an orange filter. So I’m assuming this is a dream. No, they’re apparently fighting in a way I’m unaccustomed to.

OBM find an abandoned hotel. It’s crawling with zombies outside, and Murphy works his magic. There are people inside. One says they can’t leave people outside and it’s been a year since they’ve seen anyone new. He slides open the door and all guns are on OBM.

The leader (Anthony Michael Hall) tells them to turn around. He introduces himself as Gideon Gould, saying he is a facilitator, but not leader – everyone participates in decision making. Gould tells them to put their weapons away. Someone suggests a “popcorn circle process.” Oh no, it’s the talking stick thing – whoever has the stick has the floor, and they pass it like a bowl of popcorn.  Gould was a corporate expert in corporate conflict resolution and they were all at his seminar when the apocalypse happened. Gould does an “honest inventory,” giving his honest impressions of them with no filter. Boy, he has them all down to a T. He gives Doc a hug. He tells Murphy he don’t get no respect. OMG – he is one of those corporate guys.

Murphy says now that they’re all friends and stuff, could they get some food. Roberta tells Gould that Murphy has a vitamin deficiency. Murphy says the corporate doublespeak is making him hungry. Gould takes Roberta and Addy aside, and  tells them they can stay as long as they like as long as they go by the system. Roberta says they won’t stay long because they have to be somewhere.

The guy who let them in, Iggy, takes 10K and Doc to the kitchen. He says he wants to leave but is always voted down. He was sent to the seminar to hone his people skills and has been there 4 years. Addy and Roberta go with popcorn woman (Dana) to the roof to try and get the satellite dish going. Dana says some people left and some were banished and they always came back zombies, so they stopped trying.

Dana says Gould is controlling and she’d like some open space. Addy says it ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. I think Dana is bucking to come along with OBM and also flirting with Addy.

A gunshot is heard. A group busts down a locked door and finds Murphy shot, along with another guy (Greg).

Commercial break. Holy! In the Heart of the Sea looks fantastic! Definitely worth seeing on the big screen. Even if you have to take out a second mortgage to buy a ticket and popcorn. Thank God for that dollar store at the mall. They have Boston Baked Beans and gummi bears too. The good gummi bears.

I’d totally tweet with Z Nation if I liked tweeting.

Vasquez says they have to mercy Greg before he turns. Doc says Murphy has a concussion or worse. Murphy is dreaming of being back at the canyon with the zombies going over the edge and he falls. Vasquez says he only heard one shot but there are 2 victims. He thinks the bullet passed through Murphy and hit the other guy in the heart. Doc says that’s why he’s not turning. The bullet had Murphy’s blood on it, so he’s going to be like Cassandra.

Roberta tells Gould she’s concerned about one of them having done this. Gould says violence begets violence. Another woman suggests maybe a member of OBM shot Murphy, since Vazquez let slip he’s their prisoner. They do the stick thing and point fingers at 10K. Dana gives the stick to Addy and she says 10K doesn’t miss. She says he might kick Murphy in the nuts, but would never try to kill him. 10K says Murphy isn’t his friend and he has reason to kill him. When the time comes, he will, but that time isn’t now.

Vasquez says he found a duffel bag of food and one of them was packing for a getaway. Murphy must have caught them. Gould says the punishment for stealing food is banishment. Gould points a finger at Iggy and says he ‘s the only one with a key and he wants to leave. Iggy says the place is a death trap and he wants everyone to leave. Gould yells at him and says tell the truth, and Iggy he attacks Gould. Gould says he’s out and Roberta says it’s a death sentence and at least give him a weapon. They boot iggy’s ass out with a Thor type hammer.

We don’t see what happens to him, but his yell tells me it’s probably not good.

Doc says Murphy isn’t doing so well, the bleeding has stopped, but he’s still unconscious. Roberta wants to get moving, but Doc says they could kill Murphy if they don’t wait. Doc has been soaking a rag in Murphy’s blood and letting Greg suck on it. He’s turning blue like Murphy. Roberta says to keep Murphy alive while she goes and climbs the corporate ladder.

10K listens in on a conversation between a man and a woman. The woman doesn’t want OBM there because it’s costing them food. Gould talks to Roberta and tries to explain the rules. He says at first, it was a real horror show with people trying to leave and they made it work by applying a system. There are zombies ensconced in some off limits rooms. Gould apologizes for the shooting.

Murphy is still having the zombie fantasies in his head.

Gould is looking for someone named Washington and a zombie pops out. 10K shoots it and the woman he saves turns into a zombie in like a second. She’s dispatched by Vasquez. Dana and Addy go down the hall toward some sounds. Dana thinks it’s zombies, but Addy says they’re human since they got quiet when the two approached.

We see the shadow of someone taking things outside and Dana just nods her head and let’s them pass. Addy doesn’t see this. Addy and Dana are in a closet hiding, and Dana asks Addy to take her along. She says she’s always afraid. She’s crying and she hugs Addy. Just in time Addy sees that Vaxquez and Roberta are aiming at the zombies and they duck to avoid getting shot.

They all return to Gould who asks to speak with Dana. Hmm…is he the guy with the suitcase?

Murphy’s visions are still going on, and suddenly they become real with a zombie breaking its head through the wall. Roberta cuts its head off, but others are banging to get in. Doc continues to feed Greg blood. Is he nuts or that bored? Roberta is like, maybe you should stop that, and Doc tells her the guy is getting better, but Murphy is still in dreamland.

10K says the hotel zombies are out and the gate isn’t going to hold. Zombies come busting in.

Gould asks Doc what’s going on. He says a blood transfusion with alternative medicine. Everyone starts to argue and they’re all talking at once with no stick. Roberta tells them to shut up and do their stick thing. Gould says the rules are more important than ever, so that they can find out who shot Greg. Greg is awake so Doc suggests the ask him. He points.

Commercial break. Krampus looks awesome too! Except I’ll save that one for the small screen, since it’s rated PG-13. The last time I saw a PG-13 movie, I felt like I was in the middle of a bus on a field trip. I have great peripheral vision too, and I could see phone screens for miles. Sometimes, I’d like to take one of those cell phones and – oops! show’s back on.

Greg poins at Guy Whose Name I Don’t Know. He says he’s not surprised a zombie figured it out before the corporate morons. He tells Dana to come with him. Dana tells Gould she’d rather take her chances out there than die listening to him in there. Her companion is shot, turns into a zombie and is given mercy. Dana tells Addy this isn’t what she wanted. Gould says it’s time for OBM to go. Vasquez draws his gun and Roberta says that unless the stick shoots something, they’ll be staying

There’s a knock at the door. It’s iggy. Alive. He says no thanks to any of them. Gould says he has the right to be angry because the process failed him and he’s sorry. Iggy laughs. Gould tells him to work through his feelings. Iggy takes the stick and beats Gould with it (it’s pretty big).

Murphy regains consciousness. He asks Doc what he missed. Suddenly, all the zombies outside leave. Murphy says he had the craziest dreams. I guess when he was unconscious, he couldn’t control them?

OBM is ready to leave. Roberta thanks them for the food and Iggy thanks her for the freedom. Iggy says they’ll be hitting the road too. One woman says she’s always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Doc says it ain’t what it used to be.

Dana apologizes to Addy. Dana asks if there’s anything she can do to stay with Addy, but Addy says no. Doc & 10K banter about the corporate mentality. The truck pulls away with Addy looking wistfully out the back window.

Next week, Gina Gershon guests stars and is starting a new world order.

Nov19

November 18, 2015 — Loving, PC & LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

If Loving You Is Wrong

Randal tries to choke out Marcie. He’s gone absolutely crazy. He says he never threw his affair in her face and always protected her from knowing about it. This isn’t a very good argument. He says it just happened; he didn’t do it on purpose. Ugh! Even worse. Louise tries to intervene, but Marcie says she’ll sleep with Brad again. She’s going to find Alex’s calendar and she’s doing to do it for every time they did. Both of them refuse to leave. Randal says they’ll see who leaves first. Marcie says if he touches her again, his mother is going to be in a black dress watching Marcie piss on his grave. Holy! Tyler Perry can write them. I don’t think Louise should leave these two alone.

Marcie flounces out, saying come watch, and I assume she’s hunting down Brad, since no one has jobs anymore. I can’t believe Randal is supposed to be a psychologist when he’s the weirdest guy on the show. I’d take one look at him and say, no thanks, another doctor please.

Marcie traipses over to Brad’s and lays a big kiss on him. She goes into the house and Brad tells her to go upstairs, that he’s been waiting for her. Louise protests, but it’s useless. Randal drives off. Marcie tells Brad about how Randal tried to choke her. Marcie asks him for the calendar. Brad says she doesn’t want to see it, but she insists. This is all pretty sad.

Brad brings her the calendar. Oooh, she put grades on them too. Marcie says she wants to screw on every date in the book. Brad says there’s something she should know when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Louise, and she takes Marcie out the door. Oops! Here come Kelly and Ramsey. Marcie says it’s not a good time for her to think about real estate and she’ll call him.

Kelly follows her in, asking what happened. Marcie tells her about Randal. Kelly is like, you have to knock it off, and Louise introduces herself. Kelly says Marcie doesn’t even want Brad; she just wants to hurt Randal. Louise says that’s because she’s hurting. Kelly says Marcie needs to brace herself for what might be coming. Marcie says Randal started it and Louise asks if she’s mature enough to finish it.

Eddie is back at work. Pete and Ben are on bike patrol. Pete says something isn’t right about it to Lushion. Eddie tells Pete to be careful in a veiled threat kind of way. Eddie – who has a job, but never does any work – asks Lushion how it’s going and makes small talk. Lushion asks what’s up with Eddie and Ben. Eddie makes a disgusting remark. Lushion tells him he’d better have straightened up. This was kind of a veiled threat too.

Ben points out Claudia to Eddie, and tells him she’s the one who saw the video. Eddie calls over a female detective and asks about Claudia, but the detective runs interference and won’t let him hassle her. A body has been found and Lushion and Eddie have to leave. Natalie blocks Lushion’s way out and says they need to talk. Obviously, now is not a good time. Lushion says he’ll call her.

Natalie pulls Esperenza to the side. She asks what’s up with her and Eddie. Esperanza says blah-blah-blah about how Eddie says he’s changed. Natalie asks if Lushion is in trouble. She tells Esperanza that Eddie robbed a drug dealer. Oh, she thinks Lushion is in on it because his bank account shows a lot of money. Esperanza says Eddie does have a lot of cash. Natalie says so does Lushion. Esperanza wants to confront Eddie. Natalie thinks Esperanza should just shake loose from Eddie and thinks if Lushion got away from Eddie, he’d be better off. Natalie makes her promise not to tell where she got the information from.

We’re at the cartel guy’s compound. I always think it looks weird when people have what looks exactly like living room furniture outside. Where’s the aluminum and webbed chaise lounges? Julius’s father tells him he has vengeance on the brain, and he needs to stop because he’ll end up in jail or worse and that will kill his father. He says it will be the end of their cartel.

His father says the reason he employs small time dealers is that they have street cred and can get information. He says don’t make enemies of people who can be your friends, or something like that. His father is afraid that when the cartel gets passed down, Julius will make a mess of things.

Eddie lets himself in to Esperanza’s house. She tells him give her the key and get out. He says he just wants to talk and she says they have nothing to talk about. She says go talk to the whore he had there last week. Eddie says she didn’t mean anything, which just makes it worse. She says the whore used her perfume and stole Eddie’s daughter’s earrings from the bathroom. He says said whore is dead. Which makes it worse again. She lets it slip about him robbing the drug dealer. He asks if Lushion told her. Esperanza says too bad, it doesn’t matter, and get out. He refuses.

Juan and Julius are casing the burger place and Faun again. Juan says she picks up the money every day. I’m surprised her father didn’t tell her to do it at different times. Julius says his dad likes Juan but he doesn’t. Julius wanted him to shoot a cop, but he shot up the whole place to make it look random. Julius says now his money is gone and the cop is still alive. Julius wants Eddie to kill Joey to send a message that he’s tough.

Natalie and Esperanza are visiting Alex in the hospital. She says she’s being sprung tomorrow. Kelly joins the crowd, but Alex is kind of cold. Kelly tells Natalie has been approved for the loan. Alex isn’t excited at all about going home and she says Kelly knows why. Kelly is like, huh? and Alex says she knew Brad and Marcie had sex in the shed. She saw the video. Then she brings up how Kelly told Marcie to look closer for Peppa (her code name in the affair with Randal). Kelly is like, oh, I see, you’re mad at me for what you did. She says she can’t even look at Marcie right now. Alex says Kelly should have told her and tells Kelly to get out. The other girls protest, but Alex says Marcie is not her friend.  Alex wants everyone to leave.

Lushion calls Natalie and she says she needs to talk in person. He says he needs to talk too, but he’ll wait until he gets home. She says he means “her place.” Ouch!

Brad drives to whatever backwater place Alex is from. Her father asks if Brad is lost. He says he’s there to announce the new baby’s arrival. Brad says he tried to call, but I don’t think they have phones there. Brad asks if Alex’s mother is there and her father says she’s lying down. Brad asks if they don’t want to see the baby. Alex’s mother comes to the door. I hate to say this, but her haircut alone tells me she doesn’t live there. Brad asks if she wants to see the baby. Obviously, he’s trying to get these racist a-holes to come and see that the baby is Black. Brad doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, so he finally leaves.

The nurse brings the baby to Alex to nurse. Ha-ha! She says Alex’s blood pressure is good. I’ll bet not for long. The nurse says if it stays that way, she’ll be able to go home tomorrow. When Alex barely responds, she asks if Alex is okay. Alex says yes, and the nurse leaves.

Stalker Randal arrives.

General Hospital

Anna is a mess, dropping things everywhere. NuShrink helps her pick stuff up and asks her if the St. John’s Wort is working. He suggests melatonin as well, but says only honesty will get to the root of her problem. He says whatever’s bothering her will continue until she gets to the root cause.

Maxie is getting things going. She’s at (where else?) The Floating Rib, working with her laptop and phone. Lulu comes in and says she’d left a message that Valerie and Dante were together last night.

Michael and Sabrrrina have scheduled an appointment for a sonogram. Elizabeth comes in looking for Jason and mistakenly calls him Jake. I’ve done that too. Michael leaves and Sabrrrina says that Elizabeth is afraid Jason won’t come back to her when he’s done with his mission.

Jason shows up at Spinelli’s house in Portland. Georgie and Ellie aren’t there. Spinelli says it’s gratifying to see his old friend and he missed him. Jason says he’s sorry he doesn’t remember, but Spinelli says he’s just grateful that Jason is alive. Jason says it’s all due to Spinelli and Spinelli says that fate brought him back together with the people who love him. Jason says Helena is the one who brought him back and he’s out to get answers.

Sam tells Patrick that Jason is going after the Cassadines and that he’ll need back up. Patrick asks when she’s leaving. At least he knows her pretty well. Sam says he hasn’t answered her messages. She says what he’s doing is dangerous and she’ll need him. Patrick says she’s doing it for herself, not Jason.

The two stooges, Valerie and Dante, pat themselves on the back because they caught the perp or whatever. Valerie says it was exciting, but she made a rookie move by falling asleep.

Lulu tells Maxie about how she called Dante, but he couldn’t talk. She thought nothing of it, but then saw Dante in the car with Valerie’s head on his shoulder. Maxie says she shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Good point. That seems to be what’s gotten everyone into trouble lately. Maxie suggests they check Dante’s email. They see one from Valerie, but it’s like that joke where it turns out to be a dentist. It sounds like she’s talking about sleeping with him, but she’s really talking about the stakeout.

Michael comes by the police station and says Jason has given him proxy to use his ELQ shares against Nicholas. He wants to press charge against Nicholas for corporate espionage.

Sabrrrina says she knows what it’s like when an old love comes back. Elizabeth continues with her pipedream of how Jason is going to come back and be crazy about her.

Sam says Patrick loves her because of what Jason changed in her. She’d come to town as a con artist (I’d forgotten that!) and after she met him, things changed. She says he needs her and Patrick gets pissed.

Spinelli accesses the Cassadines mainframe. Jason apologizes for laying all this on him. Spinelli says Jason befriended him when he was anti-social and ostracized. He says that Jason helped him get offline and live life for real, and he can never repay him. Jason says he wishes he could be the guy so many people love but he doesn’t know how. Spinelli says he doesn’t have to do anything, just be himself.

Maxie is working her phone and laptop again. Valerie comes in and orders a lot of food, saying she needs it after the night she had. Maxie stomps over to her table to confront her.

Patrick talks to Anna about what happened with Emma. The description of the strange woman fits no one they recognize. He tells her that Jason took off and Sam wants to help. Anna says that’s what she should do, startling me.

Sam is daydreaming about early times with Jason. Elizabeth shows up and Sam says she hasn’t heard from him. Elizabeth says she’s glad Sam’s not chasing after him. Too bad, so sad, says Sam, because she’s planning on it. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Jason tells Spinelli that no matter what he does, a good woman who loves him will get hurt. Spinelli should know all about that, since he went through it with Maxie and Ellie, but the difference is that Elizabeth is not a good woman. She’s a scheming shrew.

Commercial break. It’s the candy kisses that play “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” For the love of all that’s holy, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. I once heard Christmas music being played in Macy’s at the end of September. I asked the cashier if it started to bug her by December. She said, “It’s bugging me now.”

Jason says that in all his struggles with memory loss, it never once crossed his mind that he was Jason. Spinelli says that he still came back anyway, and that his instincts seem to be intact and he should trust them.

Elizabeth says Sam needs to have some respect and get out of the way when Jason comes back to her. Sam tells her that her using the word respect is a joke and that Jason needs her. She’s going after him and Elizabeth needs to get out of her house. Bye, Felicia!

Anna says Sam is taking a risk, but Patrick can’t save her by being controlling. He has to trust that she loves him.

Sabrrrina cancels the sono. Question mark over my head. Is she afraid the baby looks like Carrrlos already and Michael will notice?

Lulu shows up at the police station. She tells Dante she saw him with her slut cousin. She saw them cuddled up and he’s a liar. She says he’s been sleeping with Valerie all along and mentions the email.

Valerie changes her order to a sandwich to go. Maxie confronts her about being in the car with Dante. She says if she’s so concerned, she should stop sending Dante love emails. Valerie is like what the what, how did you see it? Maxie says it wasn’t that hard.

Sabrrrina asks Anna If there’s been any progress in finding Carrrlos’s killer. Anna says it’s a cold case. Sabrrina says she realizes she’s not family, but that she was close to him and despite what he’d done, he deserves justice. Anna gets all weird and has to go.

Sam calls Patrick and says she has to find Jason, but it has nothing to do with the two of them, meaning her and Patrick.

Spinelli locates Helena on a private island. Jason asks him to find a vantage point with a cover and an access point. Jason rattles off a few things he needs. Spinelli says they’re finding their old rhythm.

Maxie says instead of pulling Valerie and Lulu’s sorry excuse for a husband out of the car, Lulu came to her. Valerie says it’s against the law to hack into an email account. Maxie says Lulu had the password, and Valerie must have known that she would see the email that thanked him for “last night.”

A-hole Dante makes noises about it being a federal offense to hack in email. Nice try and good way to get Lulu even more pissed. Dante tells her Valerie was talking about the stakeout. What’s wrong with those two morons (Dante and Valerie) that they think they can get on their high horses and point fingers at Lulu and Maxie? Arggh! I can’t stand either one of them.

Anna goes to see nuShrink. What the blip is his name and why won’t someone say it? Anna says he’s right. She has serious issues and needs help. She wants to schedule an appointment.

Valerie says she’s not after Dante, but if she was, Lulu is giving her all the help she needs. She says if Maxie wants to be Lulu’s friend, she should not encourage her anger and tell her to take Dante back before she loses him. Maxie tries to text Lulu not to confront Dante. A little late.

Lulu and Dante talk in private. He says if she can no longer trust him, maybe they are done. What a twonk.

Michael asks where Sabrrrina is at the hospital desk. The nurse tells him she cancelled the sono. Patrick tells Sabrrrina that he’s sorry for what he put her through because he’s now in the same position. Another idiot with a too late apology.

Spinelli has fixed up Jason’s phone for cyber support, and has gotten a private jet to take him to Greece and then Cassadine Island. Jason asks who’s paying. Sam says him. Surprise! He has a lot of money in offshore accounts. Maybe it’s not so bad being Jason.

Oh for Pete’s sake. Elizabeth wants to come with Sam. Sam gets a call from Spinelli telling her what’s going on. He says Jason will need back up and who better than her.

Ha-ha! Tomorrow Sam is going to throw a drink in Elizabeth’s face on the plane.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

Heather tells JoshA they have a mother/daughter developer team looking for agents to sell a 12-unit property. Heather says that they called her and she thinks they want a female agent, but she would like his back-up. Josh wants to split it three ways (his brother being the third). Heather is hesitant, but says okay.

JoshF is still looking for a property for his hard-to-please client, Julie. I thought they’d found something, and so did he, but the deal fell apart. I am so loving Josh’s denim jacket. I’m betting it’s crazy expensive, since I don’t think these guys shop at Old Navy. He contacts Madison about the possibility of doing a deal together.

Is that a Rottweiler Madison has? Whatever it is, it’s cute. Madison, who seems to have slipped back into this show even though he’s not on the credits (what do the Wives call it? A friend of the show?), is having an open house. Whenever I see these open houses, I always wish I could go to one on a lark and scarf down free food, drinks and views. The property has been on the market for a while, which is somewhat of a drawback. I got my house for less because of that.

James is having a birthday party for one of his daughters, and of course it’s fabulous, filled with fairies (the winged kind), bubbles and face painting. I think I just saw a unicorn. It must be nice to have mega bucks. Or have a father that does. Forget the open house, I want to go to this party.

James has a developer guest that has a property he wants James and David to handle. They toast with tacos to the future deal.

Heather’s excited because she and Josh haven’t done a listing together in a while. JoshA say’s it’s like date night with commission. Heather tells him he’s just there for eye candy and to remember that the clients are looking for the female facet.

The house Madison is showing is gorgeous. It has parking on the property, which is unusual for the area. It’s a beachfront property and one broker is concerned about high tide. Madison says to get a “dry beach” property costs a huge amount of money, but the house is 60 years old and still standing.

Heather and JoshA check out the 12-unit property. The penthouse is amazing and you can see the Hollywood sign from the balcony. They talk price and Josh has a hard time not taking the lead. There are no comps for the building, so Heather suggests they go to pre-sale with the higher price the developer wants and see what happens. Josh interjects that they’ll need to stage the penthouse and another unit, but the developer balks at footing the bill, so Heather says they’ll do it.

James and David have an old Hollywood property that I love. James says that unless it’s some kind of historical property, it’s all about location and most likely a tear down.  I want to cry because no one cares about old, cool homes anymore. James suggests they call both Joshes to help get as many potential buyers in as they can.

Madison is showing the beachfront house again. Oooh, it has built in cupboards I didn’t notice before. While he’s dealing with one client, another shows up with an offer that’s $312K over asking price. The broker’s client doesn’t want a bidding war and wants to wrap it up in 24 hours. The broker he’d been working with wants to give him an offer as well, and he tells her she’d better move fast.

Heather and JoshA are setting up the open house. Heather is worried about no shows because it’s raining and apparently no one leaves their house in L.A. when it rains. The staging looks fantastic and so does the food. Rain or not, a lot of brokers show up. Josh says today is about testing the prices the developers want. They get two full price offers right off the bat. The developer is pretty excited. They have 6 other interested people as well.

Whenever I see a brand name like Bulgari, I think of those two used-to-be porn star girls on Saturday Night Live.

James and David have generated interest in the old Hollywood property. JoshF shows up with a client. Waaah! I love this house and can’t believe someone is probably going to flatten it. Okay, this guy is speaking my language and is more interested in it as a family home. James and David want to present all offers to their client at the same time on Friday.

Madison can’t get ahold of his client, and is concerned that the phenomenal offer they’ve gotten is going to disappear.

JoshA shows up at James and David’s showing. James says he’s been looking for a project to include JoshA in. Josh says he wants to make some calls. When Josh calls his client, the client has already seen the property with JoshF. It’s the same guy who just made an offer.

JoshF pulls up with the offer. JoshA asks JoshF what his problem is. JoshF says that JoshA tells lies to steal his clients. JoshA says he doesn’t steal JoshF’s listings; the clients come to him after they’ve fired JoshF. JoshF says it’s time to settle things. And if you could follow that, God bless you.

Next week, Heather says she’s “late” while in the ladies room. Either she’s pregnant or they want us to think she is.

Nov18

November 17, 2015 –GH, Last Charter & Couch Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

It’s Nina’s first day of work. Kiki is skeptical she knows how to work.

Lulu interrupts Alexis and Julian’s dinner at the only restaurant in town, and tells Alexis she wants to file for legal separation from Dante. Alexis tells her to call the office because this probably isn’t the best venue to discuss a pending case and she would actually like to eat dinner.

Dante is some kind of stakeout with Valerie. This just would not happen.

Paul wants Ava to get info from Morgan. Ava says she won’t be Paul’s whore. So there!

Sonny tells Carly they can end the marriage as easily as it started. She says she’s calling his bluff, but then doesn’t really. She asks him what he’d do if she walked out and never looked back. Sonny acts like a tough guy idiot, telling her if she can’t pull her weight she needs to get out.

Since these poor people can’t have dinner in peace, Olivia drops by Alexis and Julian’s table, telling them all about baby Leo’s latest diaper change.

Franco tells Kiki she’s being unfair and maybe she should look for a job, since she seems to need a purpose. What happened to her job as town drunk?

Maxie is hard at work at Crimson already. Lulu comes by the office because nobody is allowed to do anything without interruption in Port Charles. Lulu makes a crack about Nina. Lulu says the magazine is in trouble, but she’s confident they can save it. Nina comes into the office and hears Lulu say she doesn’t think Nina will last 3 issues. Geez, how does anyone even know what she can do yet? Maybe she’s a freaking genius. She can pick out amazing clothes.

Nina introduces herself to Lulu and is more gracious than I would be. Maxie gives Nina a huge binder with all the info on Crimson. She explains that the magazine isn’t doing well. Maxie suggests bringing Crimson back to its roots and making it fabulous again. Glad she has a specific plan.

Seriously, would Jordan have allowed Dante and Valerie to even be near each other?

Carly says Sonny is trying to force her to leave before the going gets tough. Sonny says because he had a weak moment, he lost Avery, and you can’t show weakness to enemies. Carly reminds him that she’s not his enemy and says she took her vows seriously. She says if he didn’t, he needs to tell her.

Kiki is staring at the liquor bottles like they might come alive. And they do! No, not really. Morgan is at the door. He says he’s making sure she’s okay after the custody hearing.  She tells him Franco was right; she needs a job.

Franco has to take a psych exam to get back his job at the hospital. The shrink says he notices a preoccupation with death. Franco says that his past involves taking people’s lives, but he had a brain tumor. The shrink says they need to talk about what he did afterwards.

Julian stops by the magazine for a progress report.

Sonny apologizes to Carly. She says he has to stop taking out his frustration on her. She says she knows it’s difficult, but he needs to understand that he’s still the same indestructible guy he was before, and that throwing tantrums is…what? Stupidity, Sonny says. Carly says that’s right. Today’s lesson learned. Nathan drops by and says he has info about Carly’s accident.

Lulu is at the hotel bar, and Olivia tries to talk to her about Dante. Lulu says she has no idea what she wants.

Dante tells Valerie about him and Lulu checking into the legalities of the embryos remaining. Why is he telling her his personal stuff?

Nathan says they have a witness who gave them the make and model of the car, but then has to dash off. Enter Epiphany, who seems entirely out of context.

Paul says he heard Ava’s voice when Morgan was there, and wonders if she would have thrown herself at Morgan if he hadn’t been there. Ava smacks him one. He just smiles because he oozes cool.

Epiphany is Sonny’s physical therapist. Carly tells her that Sonny has been skipping exercises. Bad Sonny! Epiphany says that for someone who spent so much time in the hospital yelling about how he’s going to walk again, he’s certainly working against it.

Kiki and Morgan are discussing her work experience which is pretty much nothing. Nathan knocks and says he’s there to see Franco.

The shrink brings up Franco’s hand in Nina kidnapping the baby. He says he was only trying to get her to bring the baby back without damaging her psyche.

Julian says that Maxie and Nina should work on something that doesn’t cost money, like upping the magazine’s profile on social media. This actually isn’t a bad idea.

Olivia suggests counseling. Lulu says you only go to counseling when you want to work things out and she’s pretty angry. Olivia says she’s having both sides of the conversation by herself, and if she doesn’t want to see a counselor, she needs to talk to Dante. Lulu calls Dante, but he tells her he’s in the middle of a stakeout. She says he can take Roccco for as long as he likes tomorrow.

Ava tells Paul not to question her ambition, and that she’ll get the job done without Morgan. He says maybe that’s good since he doesn’t want her to be distracted. She almost smacks him again, but Carly is at the door and he hides. He must be getting tired of hiding. Carly tells Ava to get ready for the fight of her life and it isn’t over until Avery forgets who she is. Ave tells her buh-bye, but Carly sees the blanket Morgan brought over and wants to know what it’s doing there.

Ava says Morgan was there, but not by her invitation. Carly says she protects her children and Ava says she controls them. Carly threatens her with “resources” and leaves.

Kiki gets rid of Nathan and says she was nervous he was there for her. (Um…it was Franco’s car, you twit.) Carly calls and& says she wants to see Morgan now. Yep, controlling.

Why this is any of the shrink’s business, I don’t know, but he asks if Nina and Franco are lovers. When Franco says not yet, the shrink asks why. Franco says a lot of reasons, but he’s financially strapped and doesn’t want to live off of Nina’s money. The shrink asks if he’s willing to work hard. (No. What a stupid question.) Obrecht come in the shrink says Franco didn’t fail, but didn’t pass either, and he wants another session. Obrecht says too bad, the deal was one session and she welcomes Franco back to the staff. Franco tells the shrink that if you wants to entertain himself, he should read Obrecht’s file.

Lulu cancels the appointment with Alexis and runs off. Somehow I think this isn’t going to end well and she’s going to reissue that appointment. Alexis invites Olivia and Leo to Thanksgiving.

Epiphany bosses Sonny around and won’t even let him take a phone call. This should be good.

Ava gets ballistic in front of Paul. She says she’s going to take what she wants from Sonny and then from the rest of Port Charles. This really turns Paul on and they grapple. In a good way.

Nina is panicking about not being able to run the magazine. Maxie says she’s smart, stylish and makes good decisions. She says Nina has to embody the magazine, and walk the line between classic and in the moment.

Valerie falls asleep against Dante’s shoulder. Yep, before I could even say it, Lulu sees them from behind the car.

Kiki goes to Olivia to apply for a job.

Epiphany says she’ll be back every day. Sonny asks if she’s threatening him and asks, do you know who I am? She says yeah, my patient, and Sonny can barely keep a straight face. These two are going to be fun together.

Carly shows Morgan the blankie and tells him he’s going to see a shrink. That dude is going to be busy in this town.

Nathan arrests Franco.

Below Deck

It’s the finale. How long was this season? Like two weeks?

Emile wants to be a big shot and get in Eddie’s face about dumping Rocky. You know he thinks if he does this, he can get with her.  Not. Going. To. Happen.

Chef Ben cutting onions is like looking at a magic trick. Uh-oh, the trick didn’t work. He hurt himself. That was probably his billionth onion though. If I cut onions that way, I’d lose my whole hand on the first try. Crap. He really did a good job. Eddie says it’s down to the cartilage and I don’t even want to look at it. Ben says he has a big dinner to accomplish in 40 minutes, which is hard enough with two hands.

Rocky tries to approach Eddie, who isn’t having it. He says he thought she understood there wasn’t anything between them, but apparently not. It reminds me of when Julius Krug told Little Edie that the only thing they had between them was sex in HBO’s Grey Gardens. Ben says he’ll need Rocky to literally be his left hand. Hopefully he’s right handed.

Captain Lee calls Connie to the wheelhouse. She says, “If you hear the captain call your name, be scared; if you hear the captain call your name to a specific place, be more scared.” Connie had nothing to be scared about though. Captain Lee offers her a permanent position. She says this almost never happens with a first timer. I think he made a wise choice. It’s obvious that she’s the hardest worker he has – and she loves her job. I could totally see doing this if I was 30 years younger.

Emile is so immature; he should really be working at a fast food place.  Or maybe be in day care. I don’t mean working in day care. I mean being literally in day care. Rocky complains about being Ben’s bitch because he’s giving her instructions. Amy says she shouldn’t complain even though she has Eddie stuff going on, because the galley is where she’s always wanted to be. Let me remind everyone of the raw chicken she cooked. Maybe she wants to be there, but that’s different than knowing what you’re doing there. I don’t blame Ben for micromanaging. He also had a vision for the dinner.

Ben gives her a warning. She asks what happens after a warning. He says he doesn’t know, but it’s nothing that will make her life easier. Rocky says she realizes that Chef Ben is right. He says he started off peeling carrots and it took a couple of years to move forward. Captain Lee is having dinner with the guests as well.

Chef Ben says if there’s one devious trick he’s learned as a chef, it’s that the way to a woman’s heart is through her tummy. And he’s totally right. He gives Rocky a nice sampling of food and she calms down.

The guests light up some Chinese lanterns and set them free. Let me tell you about the one I found in my backyard still on fire once. Good thing it didn’t land in a tree. Please, people, do not do this at home. Kate and Amy light a lantern away from the guests, and Kate thanks her for being a good stewardess. I don’t care what anyone says, I like Kate.

Everyone seems to be in the galley cooking breakfast. Ha! Eddie says Emile is making a meal. That was good. Amy says Emile is like a ticking time bomb and she knows no good is going to come from this. The guests are served breakfast and it’s time to dock for the final time this season. I would say it went off without a hitch, but without a hitch, they can’t dock.

My favorite part, time for the tip, is early in the episode because they’re going to focus on the crew. The primary guest is ecstatically happy and says he doesn’t know how he’s going back to real life. This bunch was relatively low maintenance, but I’d be happy just being there.

When the captain pulls out the envelope, Ben says that’s a load of plane tickets. This is only funny if you know that if a crew member really messes up, they get their tip plus a plane ticket out. $13K equals $1300 and change each. Wow. They’ve made almost $150K in tips this season. I didn’t add it up, the captain just said that.  Kate has flowers in her hair and looks really pretty. Rocky suddenly gets an attack of mature, and apologizes for being an a-hole and thanks everyone, especially Kate, for their patience and guidance. Well, good for her. I still don’t like her, but good for her. The yacht owner has arranged for a beach party for the crew.

Eddie is video chatting with his girlfriend and says they’ll have things to discuss when he gets back (I’ll bet), but they both seem excited at the upcoming reunion. I don’t know what he’s going to discuss, but I guarantee she’ll get excited when she sees this season. And not in a good way.

Amy gives Eddie a heads up about Rocky having blabbed about them. Eddie stomps off to find her, and Ben asks wtf? Amy tells him what’s going on. Eddie asks Rocky (pretending to be asleep) what she thinks she’s doing talking about this stuff. He wants to know what he did for her to make him look like this. She says she doesn’t want to do this now and hides under the blankets. Oooh, he says nothing happened. Bad Eddie! Emile, whose nose is in there too, asks why she would make something like that up. Rocky tells them all to leave her alone.

Amy stays behind and Rocky tells her they hooked up multiple times. Emile asks why Rocky would lie, and Eddie says maybe to make Emile jealous. Emile says Eddie is a d-bag and I have to agree, even though I don’t want to. Connie tells Emile she doesn’t believe Rocky because Rocky is nuts. It’s one of those boy who cried wolf situations. Kate just shrugs it off and says that explains why laundry wasn’t getting done. Ha-ha! She says she doesn’t give a flying if they’re doing it right now, because tonight she has off work and it’s all about her.

In his individual interview, Eddie says of course he’s going to deny it at first. Of course? What?

They have a drink on the beach, which is beautifully decorated, and Rocky looks like she might kill someone. They sit down to a beach dinner and Eddie builds a bonfire. Kate says it’s the most beautiful beach party ever and they have a sad love triangle ruining it.

Rocky approaches Eddie and asks to talk. Eddie says she’s a bright girl, he screwed up, he’s sorry if he hurt her, but she shouldn’t have blabbed their business to everyone, that they could have worked it out between them. Eddie apologizes in his individual interview. They decide to finish the season as friends and hug.  When they get back to the others, Eddie raises his glass and says it’s true, they shagged, which made me literally lol.

The girls burn their white work shirts. The shirts have the name of the boat on them and it changes every season, so I guess they don’t need them anymore.

Rocky says it was wonderful with Eddie, and she and Eddie banter back and forth. They’re saying some really inappropriate things, and needless to say, Emile is not happy. The captain says that he’s disappointed in Eddie. Me too. Eddie asks how he can make it right. Captain Lee says you can’t go back and change it, but he needs to own it and what he does moving forward is what counts. Did Eddie just say, “Thanks, dad?”

Eddie tells Rocky he made a mistake and suddenly becomes a d-bag again. He makes it sound like it’s all Rocky’s fault. She teased him and forced him to have sex with her. I’m on her side with this one. He says he’s off to tell his girlfriend and she wishes him good luck.

Ben tells Kate she deserves a really good guy, but he’s not there yet. Kate says she knows. He says he always wants to be there “even as a friend” for her, and we all know what that means. Although who knows with those two.

Rocky and Emile make plans to meet up in California. Emile says he doesn’t really have a crush on Rocky. I believe it if he believes it. He claims he’s not arrogant, he’s truthful. I have no idea what that means.

It’s time to say good-by. Kate gives Rocky a cold adios and Rocky takes one more dive off the boat. Kate says at first, you always want to run free on land, but then you miss the camaraderie and life on the water.

Captain Lee says it was a real sh*tshow, but at the end of the day, they made a ton of money, so they must have been doing something right.

The People’s Couch – Quotes of the Week

This show is so inappropriate. Mrs. Zeno referring to Scream Queens

The whole thing about this show is, don’t think too hard. Blake referring to Scream Queens

You’re a has-been at 15 today. Teddi, referring to Project Runway Junior

The People’s Couch is the funniest hour on TV. And that includes the hour The Big Bang Theory is in. I’m not a sitcom person, but I love that show. I used to hang out with a group of engineers and physicists, and it’s really like that. Just not as much fun. Next week, it’s the season finale for People’s Couch. Come on. They’re taking away my favorites, even though The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills being right around the corner (December 1) alleviates some of the pain.

Important information: The Beverly Hills Uncensored special is on Sunday, November 22 at 9 pm. Be there or be out having actual fun.

Nov17

November 16, 2015 -Bon Voyage, Jason & Come Back, Shay

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Ava is going on a field trip with Avery to the aquarium. Paul shows up at the door with a teddy bear and some guy hanging onto him. Huh? I’m not kidding.

Sonny is back to his old jerk self, telling Carly that if she has a problem with his furniture rearrangement, she can move out. Another huh?

Sam tells Patrick that she and Jason kissed.

Jason tells Nicholas it’s all up to him now.

Tracy tells Hayden that her inbred euro trash prince stole ELQ, and they’re getting it back her way. I laugh because Graham Norton has a game on his talk show called “Gay or Euro Trash?”

Since videos play really slow in Robin’s lab, we see the same thing we saw Friday, with bad dude showing her Emma being tempted to go off with some woman looking for her dog. I swear, if that kid goes off with anyone she doesn’t know, I will denounce Patrick as a bad father. She’s certainly old enough to have been taught not to do that. Geez, you’d think Spencer might have even told her, since he acts like he’s old enough to be somebody’s dad.

Commercial break. It’s that “bad choices” commercial for Prego with the decades of hairdos. It always makes me laugh because I once had a body perm and my father asked why I got an “afro.”

Sonny doesn’t want anything changed to accommodate his wheelchair. Carly gives up talking to him and leaves. She tells the contractor putting in the railings to put them…well, no she didn’t say that, but she’s pretty frustrated. Sonny will be singing a different tune when he crashes into something or wants to take a shower. Sonny tells his henchman, Max, to keep an eye on Ava.

Paul has brought a nanny cam teddy for Ava, but she wonders who he wants to keep an eye on. There was absolutely no explanation about the guy hanging on him who is no longer there. Paul wants Ava to get back to work. Pushy, pushy.

Hayden says no worries, Nicholas is going down. That’s kind of too bad, since I really like them together. I’m hoping she’ll bring him down secretly and then be there to pick up the pieces.

Jason says that Nicholas knew who he was the entire time. I say, please get a clue about Elizabeth. He says the DNA test was 9 months ago and he had to have known.

Awkward moments between Sam and Patrick. She explains that she and Jason were going down Memory Lane about Danny and they kissed. She says that she thought maybe it would bring back memories for him, but it didn’t. Patrick wonders what would have happened if Jason had remembered.

The stranger woman says Emma reminds her of her daughter, Lark. (Wasn’t there a Lark on GH years ago?) Emma tells her that her mother is named after a bird too. The woman wants Emma to help her look for her lost dog, but Emma is like, no way I’m not supposed to go with strangers. The woman says the standard, I’m not a stranger, I’m Bella (the dog) and Lark’s mommy. They give you “info” about themselves so they suddenly seem familiar. Where the blip is Chris Hansen or somebody from Dateline when you need them?

Tracy asks how Hayden can go from playing footsy to blackmail. Hayden says if she told her, Tracy wouldn’t have much use for her. Emma gets grabbed by the woman, and they’re not far away, so when Emma screams, Tracy comes to the rescue (ah-ha! in Nelson voice). The woman disappears by the time Tracy gets there. Back at the lab, Robin brags to bad dude how great her kid is and he says she’s safe…for now.

Sam tells Patrick she still loves him. Patrick barrages her with questions, saying he can’t just wait in the wings while Sam decides what she wants to do because he can’t give her ten minutes to get her bearings. He gets a call from Tracy and runs out the door.

Nicholas says he got no results from the test, so his grandmother must have tampered with it. Oh yeah, blame the old lady. Jason says he has fragments coming back, and that he visited Sam and Danny. Elizabeth has a mini heart attack and he says he’s not going to just cut them out of his life. When Elizabeth leaves, Jason tells Nicholas that he wants the life that was stolen from him back and Nicholas is going to help whether he likes it or not.

Lucas (who I constantly want to call “Nathan”) tells Carly she needs to find a new “target” for Sonny, so he won’t take his anger out on her. Morgan offers to spy on Ava, but Sonny tells him don’t get involved.

Ava tells Paul she’s not sure she’s the right woman for the job, while sporting a lovely smoky eye that matches her outfit beautifully. Paul says he has every confidence in her, and she asks just what he’s actually dealing in. Good luck with that, since after 30 years, we still don’t know what Sonny does.

Lucas suggests a therapist for Sonny. Yeah, like he’s going to go for that one when he won’t even let them put in a railing.

Ava wants to know what merchandise she’ll be moving. She says the more she knows, the easier it is to adapt. Paul says he has to take care of his number one, meaning her, and they kiss. Morgan is at the door hollering – with that guy hanging off of him. What is this? A singles bar?

Bad dude says if there’s a next time, by the time an Amber Alert is issued, Emma will be long gone. Robin says they promised not to harm her family. But bad dude says that’s conditional on her cooperation. Didn’t she know that already?

Patrick arrives at the park, and Emma says she did what she was told to do. (Good job, Patrick!) A policewoman has taken the description of the stranger and Patrick tells Emma, let’s goes home. She asks if Sam and Danny will be there since Danny’s father came back.

Jason says rather than assaulting Nicholas, he’s going to take everything from him and leave him bankrupt. He says he’s going to exercise his right as a Quartermaine and get his ELQ stock back.

Snot rag Elizabeth shows up at Sam’s and says it’s time they talk about Jason. Go away, you lying, scheming witch.

Carly tells Lucas he was the voice of sanity she needed. Too bad they’re not dealing with a sane person (I.e. Sonny). He is rocking a nice beard though. Sonny says he’s the only one allowed to touch Ava. He also has doubts that Morgan will keep his nose out of it.

I guess that guy at Ava’s door is some kind of guard who is a little aggressive. Or has abandonment issues. Ava shoves Paul into another room and allows Morgan to come in. He says he’s there to bring some of Avery’s stuff. She says Morgan is welcome to see Avery whenever he likes.

Patrick asks how Emma found out about Jason. She says Spencer told her, since Patrick couldn’t be bothered. She starts to cry and asks if Sam is going away like her mommy did.

Bad dude says Robin controls what happens to her child. Robin says that Jason is alive now, and knows she wouldn’t willingly leave her family and will look for her. When he finds her, Robin says, bad dude will die. If I was her, I might be keeping that information to myself.

Jason tells Hayden to beat it, it doesn’t concern her, but she won’t leave. Nicholas again passes the buck to his grandmother.

Tyrant Elizabeth wonders why Sam dropped the motorcycle off in the middle of the night. She says Jason is still her fiancé. Sam says Jason is still her husband, and why doesn’t Elizabeth drop the act, since she just wants to mark her territory. I get a mental picture of a dog with Elizabeth’s head peeing on a fire hydrant.

Sam asks if Elizabeth is asking her to back off. Elizabeth says she shouldn’t tell Jason what he’s not ready to hear yet. Sam goes off on her. Elizabeth says Jason loves her. Sam says, oh yeah? What is she so worried about then? Touché!

Nicholas says his grandmother is now ensconced in the family compound. He says she’s frail and weak now, and too ill to answer questions. I laugh because I think the last thing Helena would ever be is frail or weak. Jason says he’ll take his chances and leaves.

Carly tells Sonny that the renovations will help with his rehab and that the doctors say it will take time and hard work. Sonny acts like a big baby and says waah, waah, waah, he’ll do it his own way. Okay, Frank Sinatra.

Morgan starts chatting up Ava about old times. Ava asks if Sonny sent Morgan. He says, no, he came there for Avery. She says he thought she’d fall into bed with him, and then he could run to Sonny with the pillow talk. He’s all, I don’t work like that, but she isn’t buying it. She tells him he’ll have to see Avery on Sonny’s visitation day and shows him the door.

Carly says Sonny can’t hold their marriage over her head every time they disagree. He says they got married to fight Ava and they lost, so they can kiss the wedding rings good-by any time. He takes his off and tosses it. Very, very bad move, Sonny.

Bad dude tells Robin that there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. He says Jason has bigger problems than her, and if he searches for her, they’ll see him coming. Of course they will. She just reminded them that it’s a possibility. He says that finishing her work is the only way out. What work is this? Do I not remember or were we never told?

Nice moment between Patrick and Emma. He says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but that Sam loves her. Emma says he said the same thing about Robin and she left. This kid is a seriously fine actress. And I don’t often say that about children on soap operas. Usually, I think it must be the producer’s kid they were forced to hire.

Tracy calls Hayden and leaves a voicemail for her to be careful. The phone is sitting there on top of her open purse (like, who does that?) with the caller listed as “unknown.” I’m thinking somehow Nicholas is going to see this and Hayden is going to have to think on her feet.

Elizabeth says she noticed Sam still has her engagement ring on. She asks if Sam thinks he’s going to leave her because she’s sooo wonderful, and the life he has. She says he has a home, and Sam says, nope, he’s just living in Elizabeth’s house, and he moved in when he was Jake Doe. Sam says everything remains to be seen.

Jason goes off on his motorcycle to find himself. Literally.

Tomorrow, Lulu is going to ask for a legal separation from Dante.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa is looking for new cocktail dresses for the waitresses and picks out a really cute mini skirt version of a 50s-ish style. She says something about how she’d love to wear it, but she’s too old. I cry into my glass of seltzer with lemon because I wish I could look like Lisa wearing anything. She tells Katie and Scheana to quit picking on Lala. How can you not pick on someone names Lala? Scheana says Lala doesn’t really have a modeling gig, that it’s more like she has a sugar daddy and Lisa says that’s none of their business. I do tend to agree with that.

Lisa brings in Eric, the bar manager at PUMP, to teach the bartenders at SUR about some new cocktails. All of them think they’re too cool for school, Jax being the most vocal. They don’t seem to like Eric, and Ken tells Jax to suck it up. Jax says the one thing Eric can do better than him is kiss Lisa’s ass. During the lesson, Jax can’t seem to control his mouth. I like Jax less and less every season. He’s too old for this nonsense.

Lisa asks Katie and Scheana to go to PUMP for a refresh in service. Obviously there’s something wrong with Scheana, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Lisa confronts Lala about the modeling gig lie. She says she had the trip planned already, and Lisa says lying is no way to start things. Lala complains about the other girls bugging her.

Scheana goes running to the bathroom. Katie goes after her and asks what’s wrong. Scheana says that her husband, Shay, isn’t happy and left for a while. He’s also been drinking too much. Scheana says she doesn’t understand why he’s not happy – if it’s her or something else. She gets down on herself for not recognizing something was wrong in her own home.

The SUR servers gather at PUMP. Lisa has her number one at Villa Blanca give them a lesson in server sensitivity. They don’t like it, but I don’t know what the big deal is.

Schwartz has a modeling gig. He says his modeling career has been spotty at best, but lately he’s been on a roll. OMG, the girl who’s working with him has the cutest lace-up silver shoes ever! Schwartz says he’s ready to propose, but hasn’t put thought into the actual process. The model tells him to make sure Ariana is camera ready the day he’s going to pop the question, because she’s going to want to take a selfie. Please. Make it stop.

Ugh! It’s Kristen and James. James is lying his ass off about cheating on her. Kristen says that when they have an issue, they seem to skirt the real problem and it never gets resolved. She talks about him cheating on her, but believes he’s never slept with anyone else. This confuses me, but I assume she’s talking about him kissing someone else. I’d be with her on this one, except she spent an entire previous season lying about cheating on Tom with Jax. Kristen says cheating is a sign of insecurity and it’s about blaming the other person to deflect from your own miserable self. Maybe.

Lisa tells Scheana and Katie that she spoke to Lala and they need to stop picking on her and be nice to the new girl. Scheana says she has a lot going on, but she’ll try. Lisa says Lala has stuff going on too, and Scheana says she guarantees her stuff is bigger.

Tom is getting rid of his couch. Schwartz helps him take it to the curb. Apparently, the couch could tell stories. I don’t want to know. Schwartz talks about saving money for a ring. Tom says he’s never seen him be this calm about commitment. They discuss Shay and Tom says it’s weird that Shay left, since he and Scheana seem to work so well together. He also mentions Shay’s drinking.

Lala takes a break and Jax is waiting there like a spider. He asks how the girls are treating her, and he says she can be honest, because he doesn’t gossip, and even he laughs. He says he’s seen new employees not even make it through an entire day because of the other girls’ bullying. Lala says she’s been single for 3 years because she’s still hung up on her ex. Geez, that’s waaay too long. Especially for someone that young.

Scheana has a grey tabby cat that looks just like one that I had. He also has a black kitty buddy. Ariana drops in and Scheana spills the beans about Shay. She says everyone looks at them as the perfect couple, but they have a lot of problems. She says he’s not happy and drinking too much and it’s breaking her heart. She says she’s been putting on her happy face, but she’s not feeling it. She says she’s lonely without him, but wonders if they rushed things. She wonders if she’s been ignoring things because she was happy and just assumed he was. In her individual interview, she says there’s a lot that no one knows. This is a real shame because they did really seem very much in love.

Lisa sits down with James and asks him how it’s going. He says things aren’t going well with Kristen. (What a shock.) She says he needs Kristen in his life like he needs a boil on his ass. Enough said.

Scheana and Tom help Schwartz with the engagement ring shopping. Scheana says she knows what Katie wants and every girl has an idea of the engagement ring of her dreams. I didn’t. They meet with a jewelry designer who is a friend of Schwartz. The designer shows them an awesome diamond and says it will run about 7 grand with the setting. Scheana says that she’s seen Schwartz’s Modells ad about 12 times already, and he can swing it.

Scheana talks about adding diamonds to her wedding ring, but then says she and Shay haven’t seen each other in 4 days. She also says he’s drinking too much. Tom thinks maybe she’s being overbearing about it, and that could be why Shay wanted to get away.

Scheana goes to the bar to get her table’s drink order. Jax says he knows how to make the new drinks, but chooses not to, and then proceeds to not know what’s in them. Tom says maybe he (Tom, not Jax) should talk to Shay.

Lala is at the front taking reservations. James asks how it’s going. She says it’s been a little rough and that the girls seem to think she wants to shag their boyfriends, but she doesn’t use the word “shag.” James asks if that’s her MO and she says no. Was he just feeling her out? He tells her to hang in there and she asks if he honestly has her back. Lala says she’s not interested in little skinny guys, but she likes his accent.

Scheana sits down with Lisa (lots of sit downs tonight). Lisa says she knows something is wrong and she’s concerned. Scheana says she’s been putting on a front and saying everything is fine, but it’s not. She says that around Christmastime (3 months into the marriage), she noticed Shay’s drinking increased. She says he’s been mixing painkillers with the alcohol. She says he’s been taking five a day, along with several glasses of wine. I don’t know what kind he’s taking, but five is a lot, and with the alcohol, he’s asking for trouble. Lisa says she thought he was somewhat unmotivated, but never thought he was high. Scheana says she feels like she’s being cheated on because he was hiding it from her. Lisa says she’s right to take it seriously and be upset. Scheana wonders if there’s something wrong with her since she didn’t see it. She says she didn’t expect to be in this place, but I think most of us can say that about something in our lives after we’ve lived them for a while.

Next week, James and Kristen start therapy. That ought to be good. A shrink will have a field day with Kristen. Shay also returns.

Nov14

November, Friday the 13th, 2015 — GH & a Z Storm

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Paul wants to know why Anna is still sticking her nose into the Carrrlos case, when they both know what really happened. She says she thinks Ava is involved with something somewhere, and still wants to hunt down Sonny’s shooter.

Since everyone waited too long to let her know, Spencer finally tells Emma that “Jake” is Jason, and that he is still Sam’s husband.

Nicholas tells Laura what happened at the wedding. She says she’s sorry about what happened, but not sorry the truth came out. She asks if Elizabeth confessed to her part, and Elizabeth walks in saying, no and neither did Nicholas. Laura is like, for shame, and says they must have been acting their hearts out. Hayden walks in and asks where her Academy Award is.

Jason wants to leave, but Sam tells him she still feels their connection and wants to know if he does too.

Hi, Robin! Patrick calls Robin to fill her in on what happened. He tells her Jason is alive. She’s at the lab and she tells Patrick there’s a lot he doesn’t know. Oh please, what now?

Anna says Sonny’s shooter is still out there, and they should be concerned with that. Paul says he considers it saving resources. Anna asks if they’re only giving justice to people they think should have it and that if Sonny is a target, anyone around him might get hurt. Paul gets blunt and tells her to drop the case.

Emma says her dad said they would talk about things later. Spencer tells her that adults think kids don’t understand things, but his father couldn’t run his life without him. He might be right about that.

Hayden admits to having remembered everything, and says she just wanted to watch Elizabeth squirm. Ha-ha! Good job! Elizabeth is about to clock her one, but Laura holds her back. Elizabeth asks her what she wants, and Hayden says she and Nicholas have worked it out and she’s happy with how things are. She says everything is going to work itself out now that Jason knows who he is. She says that he turned to Sam for help, and inside he still loves her. Elizabeth tells her to shut up.

Jason says he’s sorry, but he just can’t remember. Sam tells him he’d said he’d never stop loving her. Jason says he didn’t feel anything when they were at the Lucky Buddha and if it was going to happen, it should have happened then.

Robin is about to tell Patrick something important, when a dude comes up behind her and takes the phone. Patrick thinks they just got cut off, but dude tells Robin no way is she going to tell him anything. Patrick tries calling her back, but dude won’t give her the phone back. She says her family will get suspicious and tells him if he’s not going to answer, to press some message button. While his back is turned, she hits him over the head with a flask.

Emma is pretty upset because she wants Sam and Danny to stay with them. Spencer says that since Jason doesn’t remember, everything might still work out.

Elizabeth goes blah-blah-blah Jason loves me, in that whiney voice of hers. Hayden says Jason seems to have a way with the ladies, but she thinks whoever gets Carly’s vote will probably be the winner. Elizabeth says it’s not a competition, but Hayden says she thinks it is and I agree. Actually, I think they should have a talent/swimsuit challenge or maybe bring in Jeff Probst to set something up.

Jason says he doesn’t think the memories are going to come back.  Sam reminds him of how Helena sent him to kill her and he couldn’t do it. Then I get a memory of, yeah, that’s right, he did remember something when that happened.

Anna leaves and Tracy enters. Tracy tells Paul that she thinks Anna hasn’t recovered from Duke’s death yet, and wonders why Paul hired her. She tells him Anna is more trouble than she’s worth.

Patrick asks Anna (Paul’s office must be in the hospital because she’s there already) if she has another number for Robin, but she doesn’t. Anna says Robin seems happy, but doesn’t call all that often. Patrick says when she calls, she seems to want to get off the phone quickly. Robin manages to call Patrick back and says she doesn’t have much time, but he needs to know the truth about Jason. I can’t imagine what wrench she’s going to throw in. That’s Robin in a nutshell now. She shows up once in a while and stirs things up.

Lots of cute banter between my favorite TV kids, Spencer and Emma. Spencer says that he knows Hayden and Nicholas are in love, but there’s something between them he’s not grasping.

Laura says that one day Jason will find out the truth about her part in everything, and he’ll hate her if she doesn’t tell him now. Good.

Jason says he gets broken segments of images. Sam shows him the wedding ring and admits they had problems, but they’d found their way back to one another. She said when he left, he was on a mission to help someone else, and she was devastated when he disappeared. Is she going to kiss him? Whoa! He remembers kissing her, and they mutually kiss. YES! I hate Elizabeth with a passion, and desperately want this to work out. Sorry, Patrick.

Tracy asks Paul if he wants to have lunch, but Paul says he can’t right this minute. Paul says he’s smart enough to know she doesn’t just want lunch. Tracy says that she wants to escape Monica’s exuberance over Jason’s return. She thinks eventually Jason is going to hook back up with Sonny and cause problems. Paul says, bring it on, because he’s a fan of cheerleading movies.

Robin almost gets out what she wants to say, but Dude #2 comes busting in with a picture of her and Emma. Using Emma’s picture as a threat seems to be a trend. She makes up some BS to tell Patrick and says she has to go.

Spencer says grownups are complicated, but mean well. Emma says her mother came back and didn’t stay. She says Sam made everything better, but now she’s going to leave too. Spencer brings up trying to give a ring from his father’s safe to Emma, and wonders why Nicholas got so mad since it was actually Sam’s ring. Is this kid going to end up outing his father?

Jason says he can remember a few moments, but everything around it is a blank. He says what they’re doing is wrong because they love other people now. Oh, come on! He says he’s no good to himself or anyone else until he finds out what happened to him. She asks him to let her help.

Hayden says if she was going to say anything, she’d have done it by now. She leaves them to “talk amongst themselves.”

Jason says he has to do it on his own. Sam asks where he’s going to start, and he says with Nicholas. He tells Sam he wants the best for her and wants her to be happy.

Patrick gripes that Robin blew him off. Anna says she wonders why Robin distances herself and thinks it has something to do with PTSD. Are these two brainless? Wouldn’t their first thought be that it has something to do with her working for the Cassadines? Helena isn’t even pretend dead.

Dude #2 says he’s going to punish Robin for her insubordination and shows her a laptop where a hidden camera is on Spencer and Emma. Spencer gets a phone call (that even sounds stupid, a child getting a phone call while in the park) and tells Emma that her grandmother will pick her up soon, but he has an appointment or something. He’s probably the CEO of LEGO. Dude #2 points out that Emma is all alone. Like, really? Can’t these people come up with a new threat?

Commercial break. If aliens looked in on us, they’d think none of us can go to the bathroom properly.

Anna is at Paul’s office again. She says she’ll back off trying to find Sonny’s shooter. She says he’s made his expectations clear and they both know where they stand with each other. Whatever that means.

Hayden sees Tracy on a bench, and pretends Tracy lost something. Apparently, this is a clandestine meeting. Tracy says something about them being in business together.

Nicholas tells Laura and Elizabeth that Hayden won’t say anything because she’s having too much fun. Laura says considering what Nicholas has become, maybe they’re a good match, and she leaves. Nicholas reassures Elizabeth that Jason won’t find out anything. Oops! Jason just showed up.

Sam is mooning over her moment with Jason, when Patrick comes home. He catches her looking at the wedding band and she says Jason came to see her.

Robin tells Dude #2 she gets it, but he says she has to have consequences. On the laptop screen, some lady tells Emma she lost her dog and asks Emma to help her look. Isn’t this like one of the oldest tricks in the book to steal a kid? Has no one ever cautioned this child?

And we’re out.

Z Nation

Roberta and Vasquez are giving mercy to a whole load of zombies. And then get romantic. This must be a dream. Yep, Roberta’s dream. I knew it when Vasquez turned into a zombie In the middle of a clinch.

OBM is headed toward the Grand Canyon. There’s a cloud in the distance that looks like a dust storm. Doc says he hopes it’s not what he thinks it is. Addy continues to try getting Citizen Z on the radio. Citizen Z has his own set of problems, as zombies have invaded the North Pole complex.

Addy finally gets through. Citizen Z asks how “the package” is and Murphy interjects that he hates being called that. It’s either Murphy or The Murphy, thanks to him. Citizen Z says his place is kind of a mess due to zombie issues. They ask him how going west looks and he tells them that it’s no good; they’re headed right for a z-storm, miles wide and long.

The truck breaks down, and Addy, Murphy, Vasquez and Roberta leave on two ATVs. They’re soon stopped by a guy who says it’s tribal land and they have to leave. Roberta addresses him in Native American and explains the situation.

Doc and 10K are scaling a mountain, as there wasn’t enough room for all of them on the ATVs. They see some movement in the trees at the top, but it’s not zombies. Suddenly, Doc is hit in the head by some makeshift nunchucks and as 10K is checking him, he gets hit with some kind of stick. A guy in a hoodie stands over them on a horse.

Murphy and company are invited into a casino by Danny Firecloud (“what kind of an Indian name is Danny?” asks Murphy). Danny and Murphy banter a little. Doc and 10K don’t have the same luck and have been captured by a group whose leader says they have “white man’s disease.” And not in a good way.

The leader, Red Hawk, tells them they’re trespassing on sacred ground. 10K tries to tell him about the zombie horde coming their way. Red Hawk claims that the zombies aren’t interested in his people, only the white man, all the time beating the crap out of them. Finally, a girl steps in who is obviously his sister, she tells him to knock off the tribal schtick, and takes them to the infirmary. The sister, Ayalla, tells 10K that her brother thinks they can just wait things out. Ooh, their dad is Danny.

One of the casino guys sets up a radio for Addy. He says they were big Citizen Z fans there. They hear morse code coming through, saying “CZ”, which I guess is all Citizen Z has to work with. The guy translates and gives Addy the coordinates.

The medicine woman tells Doc she’s a pain management specialist and takes Doc to smoke some peyote. Doc and the medicine woman (she says she’s a real medicine woman the same way he’s a real doctor) look at some hieroglyphics that Doc says are speaking to him. They talk about cosmic things.

Holy! What if Citizen Z runs out of bullets? Pup is fine, but I’m scared for both of them. Citizen Z makes a safe place for Pup and leaves to fight what’s left of the zombies.

Danny doesn’t want to leave, and Murphy says trying to reinforce the place is like plugging a hole in the Titanic with toilet paper.

As soon as 10K and Doc are patched up, Red Hawk says he’s letting them go. When start to leave, they end up in net traps, suspended above the road. He’s leaving them to be eaten by the zombies and says if they’re right it won’t matter anyway since they’re all dead. Doc is still super high and doesn’t mind, but 10K wants to get out before he passes out.

Oh Lord, here comes a zombie. With a cleaver in his back. Maybe 10K can grab it and kill this thing. Sorry. Give mercy to it. Doc hallucinates killing it while wearing war paint. Somehow, Doc really did kill the zombie. He tells 10K it was astral projection, but the peyote is wearing off.

Just as a female zombie is about to grab Doc, she gets an arrow through the head. It’s Ayalla on horseback. Doc asks if she’s a guardian angel and she says she just hates seeing innocent people mistreated. She needs a favor though. She says her father is just as stubborn as her brother, but maybe he’ll listen to them.

Citizen Z is having a hard time with the last (I hope) zombie. He calls Addy & needs instruction on some sophisticated weapon. Roberta talks him through it. The battery is cold though and it won’t fire. She says to put it someplace warm, and he shoves it in his pants, but the zombie is here. Citizen Z has to jet and almost loses the gun. I’m going to have a heart attack. OMG, he dropped it and he’s down. He’s up again. He’s fishing for the battery in his pants. He loads the gun. Please work.

It does. Blowing a hole right through the zombie and incinerating him. OBM applauds on their end.

Danny says he can feel the horde coming, but he still doesn’t want to leave. Citizen Z has his cameras up and tells them it’s there and to take cover.

OBM gets on the ATVs. Danny is still refusing to leave. He says his place is there and that his wife’s spirit is there. He sends his daughter in his place, leading the ones who want to go. I think Danny is making a bad decision here.

The caravan leaves.

Citizen Z is watching the screen and doesn’t think OBM is going to make it out.

Danny is goofing around with a pinball machine called Zombie Outbreak and hits the jackpot, the irony not lost on him. He hears them coming and grabs his gun. (haha! I mistyped it “guy”) OBM sees the casino collapse from a distance. I guess that’s how strong this horde is – they can knock a building down just coming through.

Ayalla tells her brother the casino is gone and their father wouldn’t leave. He was stubborn just like him. She says he can’t be stubborn anymore and he agrees. He tells OBM they are welcome there, and they should be safe because the one narrow passage is blocked and zombies can’t climb.

But they can crawl and here comes one and they have to get out of there. Too late. Roberta says they have to divert them. Doc looks at the hieroglyphics and asks if they think zombies are as dumb as buffalo. I don’t know what this means, but it sounds like a plan.

They beat some tribal drums and build a wall of fire. There is some really cool background music that’s going with the drums. I’m sure without it, this scene wouldn’t be nearly as good. The zombies are coming by the thousands. For whatever stupid reason, Murphy suddenly wants to save them because they can feel. Forget it Murphy. They’ll eat your friends.

The wall of fire makes the zombies turn. Oh man, this is awesome! Zombies falling everywhere off the cliff into the canyon. Geez (although that’s not really what I want to say). There is always one scene in every episode that makes my mouth hang open and this is it. OBM watches from higher ground, but Murphy is bummed.

Back at the ranch camp, the brother puts more hieroglyphics up so that everyone will know about OBM and their bravery in generations to come. Medicine Woman gives Doc a pendant and also some peyote for the road. Both sides of the tribe are now united, and it’s time for OBM to get moving.

Murphy is still bummed, and tells Roberta they didn’t have to kill the zombies. Roberta says it’s down to us or them. She tells Murphy that one day he’s going to have to decide what he is, human or zombie, and to remember which one tried to save him and which one tried to eat his brains.

Murphy ponders this as they travel down the highway.

Next week, Anthony Michael Hall guest stars, and it looks like they’ll be in a corporate environment. One of the things I like about this show is that they never stay in one place, so you see how various people and cultures are handling the apocalypse. It’s kind of like The Warriors.

Nov13

November 12, 2015 — GH, the OC & Brooks

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason (I almost called him “Jake”) on the laptop. He tells her about visiting Sonny and says he was looking up bad stuff about himself online.

Sam is once again mooning over her old wedding ring. Patrick comes in and she drops it like it’s hot. She tells Patrick about giving Jason the motorcycle. Patrick says they need to tell Emma asap. Sam says that oddly enough, Emma had asked what would happen if Danny’s father came back, and she had said that was impossible. (Impossible earworm now.) Patrick notices she’s still wearing her engagement ring, so he’s hopeful that everything will work out. Good thing he didn’t catch her a few moments earlier.

Paul is all dapper and bouncy, telling Anna he’s glad she took the special investigator job. She says he didn’t give her much choice.

Jordon tells Dante she heard what happened at The Haunted Star.

Lulu and Dillon are getting jiggy with it.

Alexis shows up at Sam’s and asks how she’s holding up. Alexis says she can’t even imagine the emotional roller coaster Sam must be on, and Sam thanks her. I’m not sure why. Alexis tells her that the first thing they have to do is rescind the claim that Jason is dead, and then asks Sam if she wants to divorce Jason, since obviously she has to do that if she wants to marry Patrick.

Jason tells little Jake who he is. Jake is like, I knew it, because he did. I noticed he didn’t say anything to his mother about how she’d said it first. Monica is at the door. I’d forgotten that Jason is her son.

Paul tells Jordan about hiring Anna. She says that’s cool, but the timing is weird, since there’s not much in the way of organized crime going on right now. Unless there’s something Paul isn’t telling her. Yeah, like everything.

Dillon and Lulu are still getting it on, and I thought one of their phones was ringing, but it was really the background music being too loud. She stops things before they get totally nakey. She says she’s doing the same thing Dante did, and Dillon asks if she’s going to forgive Dante. Please don’t let it be this easy.

Dante tells Valerie (why is he even talking to her?) that he’s not sure how much space to give Lulu. If she sees them talking, he’s going to have to give her a whole lot of space. Like forever space. Valerie says to give Lulu a little time and she’ll come around. And blah-blah-blah about what a great guy he is.

Lulu tells Dillon they aren’t such great friends anymore, and he gets kind of offended. He insults Dante and deservedly so, but she says she still loves Dante, even though she wishes she didn’t.

Sam tells Alexis that she and Jason might be married, but he doesn’t remember and started a new life. When Alexis asks what she wants, Sam says to go back in time before Jason disappeared. Nobody asked me, but I’d like to go back to the 80s.

Monica says grandma stuff to Jake and Elizabeth takes him to school. Jason says he hopes Monica doesn’t expect him to call her mom. He says he doesn’t want one more person telling him what he was like or what he should feel. She says she has no intention of doing that, but if he wants any truths, to let her know. Monica says she learned to let go of the man he was and love the one he is now. She just wants a conversation about who he’s become. She asks for a hug and he gives her one. She invites him to the annual Thanksgiving pizza dinner. He promises to think about it and she promises that, per tradition, it will be a disaster. I love Thanksgiving at the Q’s! Waaah! I miss Alan, and Lila, and Edward.

Elizabeth whines to Patrick about how the man she was going to marry is married to his fiancé. Patrick has an astute moment, and says something about how Elizabeth acted like something might go wrong just before the wedding was supposed to happen. She says if he just keeps Sam away from Jason, everything will be okay.

Dante wishes Valerie the best of luck (really, that’s what he says) and they have an awkward hug.

Lulu apologizes to Dillon. This time, her phone really does ring and she says it’s a reminder that she has to be somewhere and dashes off. Paul arrives. Dillon apologizes for taking Paul’s half a million, but Paul is like, it’s cool, I’ll write it off. I wish Paul was my dad. Dillon says he’s pulling the plug on the film. Paul says he feels partially responsible for encouraging him go after what he wanted. Paul and Dillon do some exposition dialogue to catch people up who missed the last few episodes.

Jordan isn’t totally buying that Paul hired Anna to keep everything going well. Anna says she’s got too much time on her hands and just sits around thinking about Duke. Jordan tells Anna to keep an eye on Paul because she doesn’t quite trust him. Anna says she has every intention of doing that.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that Sam will want Jason back. He says, “Ouch!” and I agree. That was freakin’ rude, but no surprise since she is soooo self-centered. Patrick says to give him some credit.

Sam says she understands that she and Jason might have taken different paths, but it freaks her out that he remembers nothing of their life together. She said she always had the feeling he was alive, even when everyone told her to shut-up and move on. She’s says Spinelli felt it spiritually, but she felt it physically in her heart. She can’t believe Jason didn’t feel it too. And – no surprise – there he is at the door!

Patrick tells Elizabeth que sera sera, and if what they have is real, it will work out. Like Elizabeth is going to let things alone. Monica arrives at the hospital and tells Elizabeth that Jason told her he feels like he’s being pulled in all directions, and she needs to back off. Go, Monica!

Alexis “introduces” herself to Jason, and leaves. Sam calls Danny and if those two don’t say something about the Lucky Buddha (which I think is actually not the right name) vow renewal, I am going to go out of my mind.

Paul tells Dillon not to give up on his dreams. I wouldn’t have expected him to be so cliché.

Dante and Lulu both show up for the doctor’s appointment they had to prepare for the embryo transfer. Very awkward. The Nurse Practitioner (I don’t really know what she is, but that’s what I decided) says the doctor is in surgery and gives Lulu some prescriptions. She says, “So. Are you ready to make a baby?” and I almost lose it.

Lulu says they’ve decided not to move forward and please tell the doctor they’re canceling. The NP asks what they should do with the embryo and she says don’t do anything and runs out. Dante follows, and asks what her plans are. She asks what shade of lipstick Valerie wears since it’s on his collar. D’oh! Then she tells him she might want to give Rocco siblings one day, and she doesn’t need him to do it. Oh, snap! Quadruple snap.

Valerie gets a call that she’s going to be working with Dante. No way, no how, would that ever happen IRL.

Monica tells Elizabeth to give Jason some time to remember. Another unbelievable scenario.

Jason tells Sam he has questions. She says if she can help him, she will, whenever he’s ready. She says he’s welcome to see Danny any time, and since Danny really doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no drama or pressure. They almost hug, but it’s too awkward, so they shake hands, which is even more awkward. Lots of awkward in this episode. He starts to leave and Sam asks him not to go.

The Real Housewives of the OC – Brooks Tells All & Secrets Revealed

We’ve already seen the main point – Brooks telling Meghan to f-off.  This is basically a one-on-one interview with Andy Cohen to follow up the whole does-he-or-does-he-not have cancer debacle this season. There isn’t a lot to say about the show, since we’ve pretty much heard it all. Brooks has admitted to throwing around false documents for the show’s sake, but still insists that he did/does have cancer. He is not, however, going to make anyone privy to his real medical records. While we haven’t heard great things about him, my jury is still out on this. He seems like a real schmuck, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t sick.

My main gripe with the whole thing though, is how Vicki was treated. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t, but I’m sure she believed him up to a point. Things changed though, when her mother died. Vicki was tremendously affected by this and no one took that into account or even seemed to care. Meghan actually said, like the insensitive, unempathetic brainless twit that she is, that a death doesn’t affect other areas of her life. I don’t wish ill on her, but one day she will be sorry for those words. Oh, unless she is really heartless and once someone dies, they’re out of sight out of mind for her.

My father raised me and passed away just before I got married. It’s been 30 years now, and it still affects me in some ways. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it just makes them easier to live with. When this was fresh, it affected me greatly. It’s like your world stops and you wonder how everything else can still be going on. I could see the tremendous pain that Vicki was, and still is, in. Perhaps Brooks was someone she could cling to in that time, and she didn’t want to see that there was anything wrong. If her friends really loved her, they would have backed off for a minute. Instead, they were absolutely relentless in their quest to prove Brooks was a liar and hammer opinions and questions at her. Meghan really does seem like there’s something wrong with her thinking, and she didn’t know Vicki, so that (almost) makes sense. But I’m disappointed in the other ladies. They should know better. Shame on them. And I see they’re still bitching about it. I hope they come around, but regardless, I hope Vicki is able to pull herself out of this funk she’s in. I haven’t always liked her behavior, but I think she has a good heart, and I’m rooting for her.

On to some revealed secrets. I’m glad they stopped using the term “lost footage.” Did they expect me to think Andy dropped it behind his desk and then forgot about it? Don’t insult my intelligence. I feel stupid enough already just watching this stuff.

I like these shows, because they often save the best for last, and there will be scenes that have me wondering why they weren’t included in the regular season. It’s also the time we get to see the women getting along, just having fun

Tamra says she hasn’t had a potato in 10 years. Ha-ha! Shannon says a Michigan diet is potato, potato, potato. I say an Oklahoma diet is beef, beef, beef.

We get to see some more of Heather shopping for the house. It has 70 doors! She says her closet, which I’m sure is also a dressing room, needs a combination to get in to. Is it a panic room too? Terry must be freaking loaded. I don’t think it came from Heather’s TV movie income. I’m not criticizing, just making an observation.

There wasn’t much Meghan in this show. I’m wondering if she left a bad taste in fans’ mouths or if she just didn’t contribute anything except negativity. She was even excluded from the additional footage of the cancer argument, which I somewhat tuned out since I’ve had enough now.

I’m glad to see The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is coming back on December 1 (Giggy!), but it makes me think of how close Christmas is, and how unprepared I always am. Maybe I should get out the decorations tomorrow. Yeah, right.

Nov12

November 11, 2015 — Last Night’s Loving, GH & LA Listings

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

If Loving You Is Wrong

When the show starts, one of my dogs makes a loud snoring sound. I’m not sure if this is a comment on my choice of programming.

The kids are badgering Brad. They ask when their mother is coming home, and question him about leaving them alone in the house. He says he was next door talking to Marcie, but the kids are smarter than that, saying they know their parents aren’t talking to Marcie and Randal. They know something is wrong. Eddie comes busting in, and tries to order the kids around, but Brad drags him outside where he still gets way too loud, shouting about Randal being the father of Alex’s baby. He pretty much offers to murder Randal.

Mama Louise has made a meal for Marcie. She says she’s going home tomorrow and Marcie hugs her. Marcie asks how she’s going to get over it and Louise says, “Time,” but adds some people never get over it. Marcie says it’s been a while already and Louise says that she must love Randal because she wanted to hurt him so badly. She gives a mini speech about love and hate. Marcie says she feels humiliated and embarrassed about sleeping with Brad. Louise says she needs to stop drinking. Louise says it’s a bad idea to be a chronic drunk when you have a huge problem on your hands.

Eddie is sitting in a truck outside the strip mall. Ben approaches and tells Eddie that he can’t get Pete to come out to meet him. For whatever stupid reason, Ben has his girlfriend with him, and Eddie gets unnecessarily insulting to her. Eddie gives him some pills, says he’s getting out of there, and tomorrow Pete is dead (“Dead! Do you hear me?” Yes, we get it.)

Pete is once again trying to look at that stupid video. New girl Claudia interrupts him. He can’t catch a break with that thing. She gets some coffee and he sees some stuff that I have no idea what it is. Why the blip does he want to do this in the middle of the precinct? It’s hard to sneak around in a room full of people. Ben comes in and Claudia says she’s sorry, and that she saw part of the tape. I get it. It’s the tape of Ben getting shot and not by his own hand as he claimed.

Ben calls Eddie and tells him Pete saw the video. He tells him that Claudia saw it too. Now Eddie is going to come back to work and kicks whatever girl he’s with out of bed. He just constantly barks orders at everyone and he’s getting on my nerves.

Natalie drops by Kelly’s office. Kelly tells her that it’s going to be difficult for her to get a loan, but if she applies with Lucien, they can definitely get it. Kelly has a lot of good things to say about Lucien. Natalie is startled at how much money he has in the bank. Kelly asks if Natalie filled out the forms and signed his name. Natalie says yes, and Kelly is like, you can’t do that, that she can get fired. Natalie is insistent about wanting to know where Lucian got $250K.

Ben approaches Pete at work and wants to know why Pete is so distant. Pete says he’s just busy and to get lost. Uh-oh. Eddie walks in. It annoys me just looking at him. He stops Pete from leaving the room. Eddie wants the video. Pete plays stupid, but he’s not fooling Eddie. Pete keeps saying he doesn’t know what Eddie is talking about. Eddie gets all In his face and he tells him to open his locker or die. Pete says he’s going to the captain. Eddie says if he does, he won’t live one day on the streets. His face looks crazy and he says he gets off on shooting people.

Damn. This kid still stands his ground. Eddie starts slamming him around when Lucien walks in. Lucien wants to know why Eddie isn’t still convalescing, and Eddie says he was released, and woo-hoo, they’ll be riding together again.

After Eddie leaves, Lucien asks what’s up and Pete says Eddie is just being a dick. Lucien knows there’s more to it than that. Pete is practically crying and wants to know why Lucien can’t be his partner anymore. Lucien says he has to ride with Eddie because they were originally partners. Lucien tries again to get the truth from Pete, but for whatever reason, Pete won’t tell him.

Ramsey is out mowing the lawn, shirtless, and Kelly can’t help but notice. Me too. He’s feeling pretty badly about the loss of his mother, and Kelly invites him in. He says he’s all sweaty, and she says the sweatier the better. Not really, but I know she’s thinking it.

Alex wants to get out of the hospital, but the doctor says her blood pressure still needs to be monitored. She says Alex has to keep her stress level down. Alex says she’ll try. The doctor says on the upside, the baby is doing great.

Brad confuses all of us by showing up with flowers. He asks for a moment alone, and the doctor says no, since the monitor shows Alex’s blood pressure going through the roof. The doctor says he must be trying to torture her to death and he should be ashamed of himself. Brad says Alex should be ashamed and she says she is. He says he has a big surprise for her when she gets home, and I’m wondering why the doctor would even discharge her in his care.

Ramsey wants Kelly to call Marcie about selling the house. She says it’s probably not the best time, but calls anyway. When Marcie answers, she explains and puts Ramsey on the phone.

At the burger place Faun comes in to pick up the register bag. She tries to flirt with Joey, and he pretends not to care. Faun tries to kiss him in an employee room, but he says some other time because he doesn’t need grief from his mother. They kiss good-by and he tells her to be careful with the money, which is like telling us something is going to happen.

Yep, the drug dealer guys are outside watching. Juan tells (another) Randal that she goes to 17 locations and it’s a lot of money. Randal says that if Juan doesn’t get the money he owes him, he’s dead.

Louise says she thinks Randal is becoming a new man. Marcie chokes on her coffee. Randal is outside, staring at the shed, thinking of good times there with Alex. He actually looks like he’s out of his mind. Marcie has to go to work selling Ramsey’s house. There’s some chatting between Marcie and Louise, when all of a sudden, Randal comes in and grabs Marcie by the hair and pulls her to the ground. Whoa.

General Hospital

I had an extended lunch with a friend today, so I had to DVR this and give you a condensed version.

The first thing I see is Sonny dropping a coffee pot and I laugh.

Dante and Sonny talk. Sonny is totally pissed at Carly for not being at his beck and call. Carly visits Jason and wants him to talk to Sonny, since obviously she’s not getting anywhere. Jason acts like he’s all busy (with what? it’s not like he has to go to work – or on the honeymoon) and she asks him to do it for her.

Nina wants to get a job because she thinks it will be fun and I think she should go back to Shadybrook. She wants to be a fashion editor and contribute to society. While she is wearing a fabulous dress, I have my doubts that being a fashion editor is a contribution to anything except magazines. Mushy stuff between her and Franco.

Boring stuff with Julian and Alexis. Julian is having tax problems, and owes a bunch of money.

Sonny keeps acting like an idiot, telling Dante that Carly thought “Jake’s“ (will the quotation marks ever end?) wedding was more important than him. I refrain from throwing a brick at the TV. Only because I don’t have one. Dante says Sonny will get Avery back and he’ll get Lulu back because he lives in a dream world.

Lulu tells Laura about the sizzle reel debacle, and asks her to watch Rocco because she doesn’t want to be there when Dante comes to see him. Laura is like wtf? and Lulu starts crying and asking why, why, why?

Maxie gets on Dillon’s case. She tells him skywriting would have been a better idea than what he did, although she probably would have done the same thing. She tells him the fundraising was a success and they have to find a new place to film. He says he’s abandoning the project because he’s a big baby. Maxie says the mantra of GH – what about me?

Obrecht shows up at Nina’s place. Nina leaves for her job interview. Franco wants his hospital job as an art therapist back. Obrecht is fine with that, but she says he has to go through a psychological interview due to new rules.

Laura tells Lulu to take some time and gives her props for putting Rocco first.

Carly drags Jason’s ass to Sonny, who immediately acts like big baby number two, not listening to her. Carly tells Jason he’s going to have to tell him who he is and he does.

Nina comes to Julian’s office to interview for the job of fashion editor at Crimson. Does he own The Sun too? No, wait. That was One Life to Live. Julian tells her to go to HR,

Maxie tells Dillon that neither Spielberg nor Coppola ever shut down production because of girl trouble. I say that’s because they probably never had any girlfriends. Dillon says she’ll have to give back the donor money, but not to give up, because no matter where she lands, they’ll be lucky to have her.

Laura invites Lulu to stay at Windermere. Isn’t that Nicholas’s castle? Enter Dante.

At first, Sonny acts all stupid, not believing Jason is Jason. He says Carly invented the DNA test and she tells him he’s an a-hole. Okay, I just wish she told him that. She tells him to really look at Jason, past his face. Sonny takes Jason’s hand in his and they kiss. Okay, that didn’t happen either and I’m actually making fun of what’s a tender moment. Sonny realizes that it’s Jason and I like Sonny for the first time in a while. Jason wants desperately to leave.

Dante wants to talk to Lulu, saying they can get past it. She says she doesn’t want to get past it.

Nina has what passes as an interview with Julian. He asks that stupid question about where do you see yourself in five years, and she answers the way we’d all like to – she wants to run the magazine. Julian is like okay, why not?

Jason says he doesn’t remember being Sonny’s friend, which is kind of sad. Sonny tells him all about their friendship, and gives me the side of Sonny I like. He says that Jason never realized how much he was valued and lived a dangerous life. Sonny tells him that he’s home.

Laura talks to Dante, telling him that he needs to take some time too. She says if he doesn’t give Lulu some space, he’ll definitely lose her.

Dillon tries to apologize to Lulu. She says he may have done her a favor in the long run, but he humiliated her in the process.

Alexis freaks out over Julian putting Nina in charge of the magazine. She says that Nina will run it into the ground. Then the light bulb comes on. Julian will have a tax write off. You know what’s going to happen though, right? She’s going to make it a success.

Jason says he doesn’t think he’ll ever remember. That if being surrounded for the past year by all these people who care about him didn’t jar a memory, nothing will. He says enough already, he can’t do this. Carly says she and Sonny need him. He says they need Jason and he doesn’t know who Jason is or how to be him.

Lulu tells Dillon that she wants nothing to do with Dante, Valerie or him. Then she plants a huge kiss on him and I get totally confused.

Maxie returns Nina’s check to Franco. Nina comes in and tells them about her new job. Maxie wonders why Nina got hired when she doesn’t know squat and Nina hires her as an assistant. (All dream jobs should come this easy.)

Sonny is cool with Carly now. He says he wishes things were different. Don’t we all, Sonny. Don’t we all.

Jason goes home to Elizabeth’s house and has a flash of a memory about Sonny.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshA and James have buried the hatchet. They talk about how they got into real estate, and discuss having kids. James has three, and Josh is on the fence about it. James asks why the two Joshes can’t make nice with one another.  Not only is that not happening, JoshA has recently taken a listing out from under JoshF .

JoshF is showing a house to a client who has a long list of wants.  It’s one of those houses right on the beach. It’s kind of odd designed, half Spanish Inquisition, half Flintstones. While she likes it, Josh seems to think they can do better.

JoshA is showing the overpriced house that he’d only gotten one offer for even after lowering the price. The couple is looking for a weekend house. Must be nice, huh? All of these houses always seem fabulous to me and the views are always spectacular. Well, except for that house with the apartment building thisclose.

Commercial break and important information. Andy’s Brooks interview is tomorrow, Thursday night at 9 pm. Be there or have a life.

James tells David about his meeting with JoshA. James talks about his lack of success in finding a commercial property for his client who wants a space on Sunset. James makes a call and finds out that the Hustler building (yes, that Hustler) has been looked at by some developers.

JoshA gets a wakeup call from his client who just got back from Russia about the house he agreed to lower the price on. The client is getting itchy to move on, but Josh has some prospects. Josh says consider the fire under his ass lit.

JoshF’s client wonders if there’s a house they haven’t seen yet. Josh says he can’t figure out if she’s picky, or if she really doesn’t want to move. He says he’s shown her everything in her budget, so he goes higher. Showing first, and telling the price later. These beach houses all look the same from the outside, very oblong and boxy, but the insides are pretty fantastic. This woman seems kind of uncomfortable, but I get the feeling that it’s being on camera.

David wants his girlfriend, Adrienne, to consider selling the house they built together. At first, Adrienne is really put off by it, but she sees the wisdom in selling in a hot market and having money to put away for the future. She tells him to go ahead. Lots of kissy, kissy.

James has difficulty getting through to the representative for the Hustler building, which is being sold off market, but his tenacity pays off. He tells the client they have to be low key, and they pretend to shop in what must be the Hustler store, because it’s filled with naughty clothing and sundries. They get a private showing of the building, and James talks about adding floors and the view. Why do they care about the view if it’s not residential? Too good of a view and no one will work. Price is no object, so James has to find out what other buyers have offered, and offer more.

JoshA gets an offer for the overpriced then lowered price place. He has to bring girlfriend Heather’s mini Yorkie dog, Tom Brady (yes, named after that Tom Brady) with him for some reason. This would definitely make me more apt to make a deal, but I don’t know about his client.

JoshF’s client does not want to spend $8 million, and low-balled the seller. They counter with $8.1 million. The client does not want to come up, and it becomes obvious she doesn’t really want to move. Way to waste the broker’s time. While these guys make skabillion dollars a year, I still don’t like to see anyone’s time wasted like that.

JoshA arrives at the client’s house and it looks like he’s interrupted an appointment with another listing agent. What’s the matter with these people? The client tells him he’s meeting with different agents for the property they’re at and acts like Josh isn’t serious about things because he brought the dog. Josh calls his brother, Max, who has the better relationship with the buyer and gives him the client’s counter offer. The buyer counters with a slightly better, best and final, offer. Josh says he personally thinks it’s a good offer and the client agrees. And finally smiles. He also gives Josh the other listing. I sometimes wonder how much of the clients’ attitudes are for the camera.

James brings his client to the Hustler building where they’re going to meet with Larry Flynt’s team. The meeting table is normal, but the chairs are these amazing creations with brocade Victorian scenes on them. One of the reps says that they have an offer already of $18 million. He says they’ll also need time to relocate the store. Since the client needs time for permits and such, that’s okay. They do have a long term tenant that has 9 years to go on their lease. The client is willing to swing $300K the tenant’s way. They make a bunch of negotiations I don’t understand, but it looks good, and they’re going to bring in Larry Flynt. While I’m not exactly a fan of his work, I have to admit, he’s an interesting character.

James wants the deal done today because he doesn’t want the competition knowing their game. Larry comes in and I wonder why his outfit looks like something off of a Kmart rack. Larry okays the deal and I think they just brought him on as window dressing for the show, since he didn’t contribute much. The final sale price is $19,050,000 and James’s commission is $457,500. I can’t say he didn’t work for this one, but I’d probably retire right there.

Next week, the two Joshes butt heads for the billionth time.

Nov11

November 10, 2015 — The Real Jason Morgan, a Yacht Hook Up, & Some Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

We start where we left off with Ava insulting Sonny. He says he can still load a gun, and could blast her with so many bullets, they wouldn’t recognize the body. Carly and the guys tell him to knock it off.

Sam asks Patrick if he thinks the DNA test is legit and he says it looks that way.

I hope Jason slaps Elizabeth off that bridge. She admits she didn’t want him to know who he was, but doesn’t exactly say she knew who he was. He says it’s not like she was keeping anything from him, so there’s nothing to forgive. You know this is going to come out eventually, and I can’t wait. I hope he gets seriously pissed off at her.

Carly tells Ava to back off. How can she even still want to be with Sonny after what he just said? Kiki, Scotty and Ric come in and Ava tells Kiki to tell them what she saw. Kiki says she saw nothing, but I have the feeling that there’s a tape recorder in Ava’s purse. She got awfully close to Sonny when she baited him. Carly tells them about the car accident. Hello, Kiki, are you listening?

Jason tells Elizabeth he’s sorry things turned out the way they did, but he still loves her. She says let’s get married like we were going to. Um…he’s already married. I think you have to take care of that first.

Sam tells Patrick that she’s reliving every interaction she had with Jason. She asks Patrick if Jason will start to remember, and he says most amnesiacs would have remembered by now. I feel badly for Sam, since she must be feeling pretty confused. Patrick says they’ll figure it out about her marriage to Jason.

Hayden says she noticed Nicholas didn’t react when Jason made his announcement, and it’s because he and Elizabeth already had their freak out when they first found out about him months ago. Nicholas says apparently Hayden regained her memory. I really love Rebecca Buddig in this role. I liked her on All My Children, but Greenlee was a little sappy for me.

Hayden says she was confused when she first woke up, but the familiar surroundings at Windermere brought the rest back. He asks why she was pretending when she could have taken advantage of him. She says she thought twice after the first time when she got a bullet in her head for her trouble, and she’s also really interested in him.

Kiki is looking at everyone with a face like something out of a horror film. Was she drunk when she put on her makeup? That’s not a smoky eye, that’s a raccoon eye. Ric goes off on Carly about not showing up on time. She wants to tell Sonny that Jason is alive, but the court is reconvening and he’s like, later.

Sam says Patrick is talking about her marriage like it’s just a piece of paper, when it’s more complicated than that. And thank you, Sam, for pointing out that he did the same thing to Sabrrrina. Idiot.

Elizabeth is pushing Jason to get married by the Justice of the Peace immediately. He says his feelings for her haven’t changed, but he’s legally married to Sam and they have a son. Elizabeth says she wouldn’t expect him to turn his back on them. He says his DNA might be Jason’s, but not his memories. He said he heard so many stories about how much Jason meant to people, but there was a lot he didn’t like. He says he can’t marry Elizabeth because he doesn’t want to give her a name he’s not sure he wants himself. I seriously wish he’d get a clue. Elizabeth sure seems anxious to get on with the marriage and if she really loved him, you’d think she’d give him a minute to breathe.

Nicholas says Hayden’s been playing him and for all he knows, she still is. She asks if that makes him extra hot and I laugh. She tells him she (ugh!) “has feelings for him” and she believes he has the same feelings. Now I will have an earworm of Feelings for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

Sam goes over various people’s reactions to Jason, like Spinelli and Carly. Patrick continues to act selfishly and tries to talk her out of feeling any way except uncertain. He’s actually starting to stammer because he knows he’s not getting anywhere. Sam says she doesn’t want to hurt Patrick, and he says he doesn’t want her to make the same mistake he did.  “Don’t buy into the future of someone based on a memory,” he tells her. Geez, no one wants to give anyone a minute here.

Jason says he has enemies who will most likely be after him once they know he’s alive, and he doesn’t want to put Elizabeth and the kids in danger. She tries her best to backtrack, saying that she must have known inside who he really was.  Nice try.

The judge asks if Scotty has any character witnesses for Ava. He says Sonny would be their best bet. RIc is like, huh? and Scotty brings out the recording. Ric tries to say something about Sonny not knowing he was being recorded, but Scotty counters with it being a one-party state. The judge okays the recording to be played. Sonny either wants to disappear or kill Ava or both. It’s not looking good for him. I wasn’t on his side to begin with, but if he can’t even control himself that much, maybe he really isn’t the best custodial parent.

Hayden asks what Nicholas wants to do. She tells him that his life is more interesting with her around. That’s for sure. He blended into the wallpaper before she came along.

I want to smack Patrick. He goes on about how Jason loves Elizabeth now and makes up all kinds of crap. Sam wisely says no one really knows what’s going to happen now. Patrick tries to compare the whole thing with his Robin experience, but she says it’s not the same. He asks if she stopped loving him when she found out Jason was alive. She says no, but she doesn’t know what to do yet. He says let’s go home and deal with it tomorrow. Tomorrow is now vying with Feelings for the earworm of the day.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he’s not going anywhere, but he needs to figure out what it is to be Jason Morgan.

Everyone tries to tell the judge that Ava baited Sonny, because in Port Charles you’re allowed to shout out in court. The judge says Sonny’s statements are disconcerting, and also, since he said them in a court, Ava could file charges. Scotty says the judge will sign Ava’s death warrant if she doesn’t have custody. The judge says a lot of blah-blah-blah about Sonny being an idiot and awards custody to Ava, giving Sonny supervised visits if the caseworker okays it. She says Sonny had better learn how to play well with others. Ava tells Sonny that she doesn’t want Avery not to know her father, but he needs to get with the anger management program.

At home, while Sam muses over her engagement ring, Patrick stupidly asks what she’s thinking about. She says she doesn’t know how to explain things to Danny when she doesn’t understand them herself.

Elizabeth tells Jason that the kids (who were out for ice cream when he came back with Carly) are confused and don’t understand why they didn’t get married. He says they’ll talk to the kids in the morning and she asks what they’re going to say. Jason says “the truth,” and Elizabeth asks what that word means, since she has no concept of it. She wants to go up to bed, but he says he needs a minute. I think he actually needs like a year.

Sonny acts like a big a-hole, saying Carly wasn’t there for him. Yeah, how much time did she even take? She was in a car accident, you freaking moron. She wants to tell him about Jason, but he goes la-la-la and covers his ears. For once I give Michael some credit, because he sticks around to listen. She tells him that Jason is alive. And his eyes go all crazy.

Nicholas wants to go upstairs now, but Hayden wants to do it right this time and take it slow. He says he’ll see her at breakfast. She makes a phone call (when she’s right outside the door), saying she needs to talk, but it has to be in person.

Carly calls Jason and gets voice mail. She says she was late getting to the courthouse, Sonny’s in a bad place and wouldn’t listen, and she thinks they should tell him together.

Sam shows up at Elizabeth’s house on Jason’s motorcycle. She gives him the keys and says he can ride it over to see Danny any time he wants. We end with Elizabeth looking out the window all sad. What a tangled web we weave, eh?

Below Deck

Again, so glad Chef Ben is back!

Rocky and Emile go for a walk. (Sounds like a children’s book.) She tells Emile about hooking up with Eddie. In his individual interview he asks if he was supposed to “high five” her and I laugh. Rocky tells Emile that she really liked Eddie (thank you for not saying you “have feelings for” him) and she doesn’t hook up just to hook up. Emile says he had no idea and she says she has evidence on her phone. Think any good is going to come from this conversation? Me neither.

Ben and Kate are flirting like crazy.

Now Emile is pissy about taking orders from Eddie. No surprise since he’s 12 and not grounded in reality.

The primary guest is a 29-year-old self made millionaire. Captain Lee says those words scare the hell out of him. It’s the last charter, which bums me out because I want this show on all year.

Rocky asks Eddie if he’s excited to get off the boat and back to real life. Eddie disappoints me when he talks about how Rocky knew he had a girlfriend and she seduced him, absolving himself. While I can see how he made the mistake in the first place, he lost points with that remark.

Emile says he wonders how Eddie would take a few punches. Because he’s 5. Now he has a crummy attitude all over the place. Connie says something about that she could see why Rocky dumped him and he calls Connie a whore. What? He’ll be lucky if she doesn’t throw a few punches. And she could probably knock him out.

Amy tells Rocky that working on a yacht is hard and she has to find a way to control herself. Rocky starts crying and Amy says she feels badly for her. Not me. She’s as crazy as a loon. Eddie shouldn’t have gone near her in the first place, but she deserved what she got.

The guests arrive. These are the hot girlfriends? Ben concurs, but I don’t.

It’s time to go on the jet skis. The guests are from Chicago (which Ben says is the Mecca of steakhouses), and the primary says he wants to be blown away by Ben’s version of steak and potatoes.

Ben talks to Kate about Rocky. He says she seems like she’s dragging around and maybe they should give her a break. Kate says he hasn’t been there the whole season, and she and Amy have had to do most of her work. Kate doesn’t think the lack of work ethic should be rewarded, but says if Ben wants to do something for her, fine. Ben says Kate is being a mean bitch, but Kate says Rocky is a spoiled brat and I agree.

Eddie finds out that Rocky is following his girlfriend on Instagram. Ok, now she’s not just a spoiled brat, she’s creepy. Eddie is freaked and I don’t blame him.

I’m not a huge steak eater, but this cut of meat looks fantastic. Ben says the fun thing about cooking on a yacht is that you have unlimited means, and it’s a shame Chef Ben was repetitive. The guests say it’s the best rib eye they’ve ever had. Amy says Vito (the primary) has the money to show his guests a good time, but lacks the game to help them enjoy it. One of the girls calls him a d-bag and decides to remove herself form the table. He guests leave Vito and his girlfriend (?) at the table. Oh, I take that back, it sounds like they haven’t slept together and he was hoping to score on this trip. Not happening.

Rocky acts like an utter idiot, telling Emile she’s going crazy, crying, and generally acting like Eddie was the love of her life. There is really something wrong with this girl. Emile, in his immaturity, says Rocky needs someone to speak up for her and the truth will come out. This means he’s probably going to be the one to help that along.

Amy gives Connie props for actually doing her job. Eddie has said she’s the only deckhand he can trust. I like Connie. She’s a work hard/play hard kind of girl.

The guests are down for breakfast. Connie and Eddie are in the wheelhouse, and Emile comes by to apologize to Connie. She tells them what he’d said to her, and Captain Lee wonders what’s wrong with people. I’ve been asking that for years. The guests are being demanding, and Chef Ben is getting cranky. Vito Is hung over and excuses himself 10 seconds after he sits down. I’ll be damned if I ever pay 10s of 1000s of dollars for a vacation and spend it in the toilet.

Emile sees that the little boat that they take on excursions is almost banging into the yacht and tries to fix that by falling into the water between the two. He claims he doesn’t want to get involved with the Rocky/Eddie thing. Then why is he? I do really know why he is. He thinks he’s going to be Rocky’s knight in shining armor and she’s going to give him nookie. I hate to tell him this, but that’s not what’s going to happen. But he’s 10, so there’s no talking to him.

The guests are unhappy with breakfast, although they’re being really good about it, and just order different food. Kate has to tell Ben that the eggs were runny and the sausage was overcooked. This is not a messenger job anyone wants with any chef.

Commercial break. Apparently, The Hunger Games has hooked up with Chrysler. Did the author of the books okay that? If so, I just lost respect for them.

Amy says the secret ingredient to any bad breakfast is Mimosas. I add it’s also the secret ingredient to any bad lunch, dinner, or snack. Ben is going out of his way to make a phenomenal seafood dish to make up for the crappy eggs and sausage. I’m in. The guests are happy and all is forgiven. They’re actually pretty easy-going though.

The guests are going on a beach picnic. Captain Lee says they have a good attitude on the boat right now, so it should be fine. Little does he know. Vito is napping again. I guess he’s spending the whole charter snoozing. Rocky is staying behind and Emile offers to stand up for her and do pretty much anything she tells him to.

The guests are impressed with the picnic setup. Rocky decides to put on her mermaid tail and swim over. She says water calms her down. Judging by my neighborhood, it calms a lot of crazy people down. She flounders (no pun intended) around on the beach in front of the guests. Kate says that whenever anything with fins and a tail washes up in front of you, it ruins the picnic because it’s sad an awkward. Or something like that.

That brainless twit! Rocky is telling Amy about her and Eddie. She’s also making it sound like this was going on the entire season, and it wasn’t. She’s acting like she’s in middle school, which is why I don’t understand why she’s not into Emile. Amy says she has to sit down. She asks if Eddie broke up with his girlfriend, and Rocky acts clueless. Now she’s giving details that I don’t want to know and I can’t imagine that Amy does. Rocky says Eddie is acting like an asshat now. Emile comes in and says he wants  to talk to Eddie. Rocky is all like, what have I done? What did that moron think was going to happen when she told him? Her own immature idiocy must have recognized his.

Next week, the finale. And Eddie denies the hooking up.

The People’s Couch – Quotes of the Week

Because I can never pick just one.

Don’t you think he’s missing a few sandwiches? Blake; No. I just don’t think they’re fancy sandwiches. Emerson, referring to a character on Ash Vs. the Evil Dead

There was a time when I was definitely naked and afraid, and it was on our wedding night. Andrew, while watching Naked and Afraid

The funniest moment, however, was when one of the dogs snatched a potato chip from Julie and she snatched it back. I can identify.

Nov10

November 9, 2015 — GH, London & Gratuitous Pups

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Paul and Ava are grappling on the desk, but since they know how desperately I want to get back to that wedding, they cut things short. Anna is at Paul’s office door. Exit Ava.

Sonny complains about the wheelchair access at the courthouse. Rick has his Clark Kent look going on.

Heeeere we go! Jason enters the church with Carly. Elizabeth babbles like an idiot about getting on with the wedding, since Carly is okay. Jason says, so sorry, he’s got bigger news. He thinks he knows who he is. Thinks. Come on man, accept it now.

Commercial break that I can barely sit through.

Ava arrives at the courthouse and wonders why Carly isn’t there, suggesting maybe Carly doesn’t want the baby. Ric tells Sonny not to lose his cool. Neither Sonny nor Julian have been able to get Kiki to come. Julian suggests that Ava work something out with Sonny, but she says that if she doesn’t get full custody, he’ll make sure she never sees Avery again.

Paul tells Anna that he has a strategy for dealing with Ava. Is that what they’re calling it now? A strategy?  Anna says she might as well confess to killing Carrrlos. Paul is like, go ahead, and shows her a picture of Emma on his phone.

Just as the hearing is about to start, Kiki walks in. Ava thinks Kiki came for her, but I’m thinking probably not. Her real name is Lauren? How did they get Kiki out of that?

Elizabeth continues to babble. Sam sees that Carly has Spinelli’s wonderful laptop, and Carly says the program finished. Sam asks who “Jake” is and he says it. He finally says he’s Jason Morgan, but it’s through clenched teeth. He really does not want to be Jason. The sad part is, this is probably going to be the highlight of my week and it’s only Monday.

At the hearing, Morgan is up first. Scotty says that Sonny sent Morgan away to boarding school and Morgan says that was his idea. I’m surprised the judge doesn’t burst out laughing.

Elizabeth is like, you’re Jason? How? Carly shows them the facial reconstruction and everyone is looking all around like they did on The Haunted Star when they showed the sizzle reel. Carly says they were all so convinced Jason was dead, they didn’t see the signs. Carly pulls out the DNA test. Nicholas looks like he has indigestion, and Elizabeth tries to be swallowed up by the earth. Sam is like, no way, but she’s forgetting the “vow renewal” at the Lucky Buddha or wherever it was, when the old blind lady insisted he was Jason. I’m hoping Hayden gets to have some kind of input here, although I like her with Nicholas, and that would probably put the kibosh on their relationship. I don’t want this episode to end. Ever.

Commercial break. Apparently having curly hair has something to do with whether you get on the cheerleading squad or not. What?

Anna says how dare Paul wave Emma’s photograph in her face? He says he’s trying to get her to see reason, but she says he knows if she confesses, he’ll be incriminated because he’s covering up something besides switching the bodies. She suggests he might arm Emma, but he gets indignant at the mere suggestion. He says he admires her bond with Emma and doesn’t want to see her go to prison for what was justifiable homicide. She says he’d better be telling the truth, and if he goes near Emma, he’s a dead man.

Morgan talks about Ave killing Connie. Scotty counters with Sonny having killed Michael’s biological father, AJ. Sonny says he did his time, and Ric tells the judge they’re going to be filing charges against Ava. The judge says the court can’t be concerned with kinda, sorta, and we’ll be filing charges some other time. In my head is Judge Judy saying, “I don’t care!” with her hands cupped around her mouth. Michael gets on the stand, and Scotty brings up how Michael originally tried to get custody of Avery because he thought Sonny was unfit. Truth!

All the unnecessary guests leave the church. Hayden wants to go, but Nicholas says he’s not leaving Elizabeth. (Bleh.) Sam is totally freaking out. She remembers how every time Danny saw “Jake,” he was drawn to him. Oh ho! Elizabeth tries to act like, oh yeah, you’re right and “Jake” was drawn to you, and blah-blah-blah, trying to cover for her dishonest self. I hope she trips on her wedding dress train on the way back to her going nowhere life. And does she really think that young Jake isn’t going to say, told you so?

Michael says that he was reacting to AJ’s death when he fought Sonny for custody. Ava shouts something out about Sonny being a murderer. Scotty says Sonny has a dark and complicated relationship with all of his children. He asks Michael if he didn’t change his name legally from Corinthos to Quartermaine. Michaels says again that he was reacting to AJ’s death, and he wanted to hurt Sonny by taking Avery from him. He also goes on about how Sonny taught him to fish, and play baseball, and built him a stage in the barn.

Kiki takes the stand. Scotty thanks her for testifying on behalf of Ava. She says au contraire. She’s there to tell the court what a lying, stinking mother Ava is.

Paul acts like he’s all on Anna’s side. He says he would have done the same thing in her place. He says the good she can accomplish outweighs her crime.

Sam asks Jason if he remembers anything about their life together, but he says he doesn’t remember any more than he did when he woke up in the hospital. Jason says she deserves to have the Jason she loved back, but he looks at her as a friend, not his wife. Ouch! That’s the worst I-just-want-to-be-friends excuse I’ve ever heard. Sam runs out crying. I feel a little badly for Patrick in all this, but not that much. It’s a sort of divine retribution, since he did the same thing to Sabrrrina . Elizabeth tries tell Jason he has a new life as Jake now, but he’s not having that either. He says he had a life and someone stole it from him. He practically runs Elizabeth over to get to Nicholas. Is this where Hayden comes in?

Commercial break. It’s all about the LEGOS, but it looks like they’re geared to adults. Admit it. You know you play with your kids’ toys.

Jason gets Nicholas in a chokehold. Why doesn’t he realize that Elizabeth was part of this? He lets go, but says he’s not done with Nicholas. Nicholas says that his grandmother is to blame and he doesn’t know anything. Carly says if Jason is right, Nicholas is going to pay. Nicholas and Hayden start to go, and Sam says that if he was hiding Jason’s identity, she’ll never forgive him. Like he cares.

Elizabeth babbles some more. Carly interjects that she needs to knock it off because he’s still married to Sam. That shuts her up. Jason wants to go figure things out. Carly tries to follow, but Elizabeth stops her with some egocentric words about how Jason loves her and needs her right now. Me, me, me, as usual. Lucas tells Carly that Sonny needs her right now.

Paul keeps trying to talk Anna into keeping her mouth shut. He shows her the pic again, and says that Emma doesn’t have her mother and needs Anna. He says when he saw Anna and Emma picking out the Halloween costumes, it was the first time he saw her smile. She asks what he really wants, and he says he wants them to work together. I like Paul, even though he’s a bad guy.

Kiki talks back and forth with Ava, which they would never allow in a real court. In Port Charles, it’s like anyone can speak up whenever they want to. The judge says it’s time for a break and I agree. Let’s get back to Jason. Kiki tells Sonny he’s always been good to her and moons over him for saving TJ. I guess she’s forgotten that TJ never would have been kidnapped in the first place if it hadn’t been for Sonny. It’s his own fault that he’s in that wheelchair. BTW, everyone is wearing funeral black at this hearing. Ava and Sonny are alone in the courtroom. Ava tells Sonny that if he gets custody, Avery will have to grow up taking care of him instead of the other way around. I see she’s going to play the wheelchair bound card.

Commercial break. Every day this storyline continues, I worry that ABC News will break in on the last 2 seconds.

Anna wants to know what kind of job Paul has in mind. He says her experience with the WSB is invaluable and he wants to hire her as a consultant. He says they both understand that you sometimes need to step outside the lines when it comes to justice.

Ava tells Sonny that she sees pity in everyone’s eyes when they look at him. She says they feel sorry for him, but glad they’re not the ones in the chair. She wonders how long Carly will be happy with an invalid who can’t satisfy her. He grabs her wrist and threatens her with serious bodily harm, just as Carly walks in. Not the best timing.

Hayden tells Nicholas that she’s totally turned on by his chivalry, but he should be concerned that Jason will find out what he and Elizabeth knew.

Sam is still freaked that Jason is alive and her husband.

Jason is on the bridge when Elizabeth approaches. He talks about remembering the bridge and asks if he came here a lot. She tells him to look at her and when he does, she tells him she’s sorry. Is she going to out herself on her part in the deception? I wanted that to be Hayden’s job.

Great show!

Ladies of London

We’re back from the Denmark debacle. Annabelle is visiting with The Baroness (Caroline #2). She says everyone was having “their own personal drama” on the trip. Maybe so, but I’d pretty much give her the Personal Drama Award for Passive Aggressive. Julie joins them. She says she loved Denmark and Annabelle rolls her personally dramatic eyes.

The Baroness brings up Julie having said she’s scared of Caroline #1 a million years ago. Annabelle starts going on about people talking behind your back. She’s obviously referring to Julie and says she’s changed. I think her problem is actually that Julie is branching out and doing her own thing and is busier than Annabelle. I don’t think Julie has a mean bone in her body. Ah-ha! (In Nelson voice.) Julie brings up a text on her phone when she apologized to Annabelle. Annabelle goes on about losing Alexander McQueen – 5 years ago – and how everyone is supposed to fall at her feet because she lost a friend and Julie didn’t give her a “cuddle and kiss” at his funeral when there was a line a mile long. What is up with this chick that she needs people to acknowledge her every second? Julie starts crying – probably what Annabelle wanted – and says sometimes she has to text because her plate is pretty damn full. I used to like Annabelle. Now I think she’s an a-hole.

Juliet steps in, saying she does feel love from Julie and understands how sometimes you can’t be there 24/7 for everyone. I wonder when she got added to this lunch, since she just kind of appeared.

Julie meets with Marissa, who she says has the best relationship with Annabelle. No surprise since they’re both insensitive, self-centered twits. Julie says texting for her is like letter writing and doesn’t always have time for calls or visits. Marissa does get one thing right. Annabelle has no husband and kids, and therefore doesn’t understand the time suck a family can be. Julie says she’s going to have to have a word with Caroline #1 as well, and Marissa says the new balls she’s grown look good on her.

I do feel badly for Caroline #1 losing her business. She says she understands that she’s blessed with a wonderful home life, but she misses the office. She says that in England, women are expected to be all about home and family. I’m not sure how different that is from the US, no matter what anyone says. Here, you’re just supposed to juggle an outside job too.

Marissa gets together with Annabelle. She brings up the Julie thing. Annabelle says with Julie, it’s not just one tear, the floodgates open. I want to make fun of her until she cries. Honestly, in the beginning, I thought she was the mature one, but as time has gone on, I see she’s a pot stirrer.

Now Annabelle is out to tea with Caroline #1. Caroline says she feels like she’s been brought in to fix it. Whatever “it” is. She tells Annabelle she invited her out to see where she is with everyone. Annabelle says something about being British and moving on, but that’s not what I see from her at all. She hangs onto things for dear life. Caroline says Annabelle keeps things to herself and she wants others to ask what’s going on. Annabelle says she knows she comes across as a “cold cow,” but that’s’ not the case. Stop acting like one then. Caroline says she doesn’t want her to leave the friend group, but she needs to get with the program if she wants to stay. In other words, you have to be a friend to have one. Maybe the problem is they don’t have Girl Scouts there.

Caroline says Annabelle needs to make a decision. Annabelle says she’s a vulnerable person, but doesn’t come off like that. No kidding. Caroline says she knows that Annabelle suffers from anxiety, but no one else knows that. I guess she’s one of those people who wants everyone to be a mind reader. I hate that. Caroline says she’s throwing a party and would like Annabelle to attend.

Caroline meets with her party planners. It’s going to be some kind of tropical theme. Apparently renting cabana stripper boys is expensive, starting at £650. We get a gratuitous shot of Caroline’s French bulldog puppy and I squee.

Annabelle is hosting some kind of children’s party for the launch of her new book. She has a grandma that looks like someone out of an old movie – the old lady who plays the maiden aunt who’s full of wisdom part – and she’s wearing a gigantic fur hat. Joan Collins Sophie shows up and I wonder if she has kids. She strikes me as someone who should be kept away from kids. Annabelle reads the new book Angry Me. It’s too bad she doesn’t take her own damn advice and deal with her feelings instead of taking them out on everyone else.

Man, I love the music on this show. I wonder if they have a soundtrack.

Caroline #1 is getting ready for her party, and like everyone else hosting a party, she hides all her kids’ toys and junk in the closets, so she can pretend she doesn’t live in her house. Julie is riding over with Marissa and says she doesn’t know what to expect from Annabelle anymore. Juliet and Annabelle are getting ready together, and Annabelle is wearing a romper so short I can see her butt cheeks. (BTW, don’t use the word “fanny” for butt in England. It’s bad. Also don’t use the word “butt.” It’s not bad, but “butty” means a sandwich, so you will be very confusing.)

Annabelle tells Juliet she needs to have something out with Julie. Yep. She moves on just fine. To be honest, while she is rocking the outfit, Annabelle looks totally out of place next to the other guests. She and Julie hug. Annabelle says that when they were in Denmark, Julie seemed like she wasn’t really there for her. Because that trip was all about her. I get what’s happening. Julie probably was at her beck and call at some point and now can’t be. Or maybe doesn’t want to be. What Annabelle needs are some single friends with no life. I don’t have kids either, but I certainly don’t expect my friends who do have them to be asking me what I need every single moment. It’s also not like Annabelle seems reciprocal on that front either.

Annabelle says Julie wasn’t there when she was going through a bad time, although she was there for Julie. Julie apologizes for the thousandth time and they hug it out. How long this will last, who knows? Lots of selfies and shots happen. Caroline #1 makes a big announcement that she’s moving on to a new phase and she wants everyone to come along. She says put the music on and let the naughtiness begin and everyone jumps in the pool

This is the finale, so everyone says their little thing at the end. None of it very interesting.

Vanderpump Rules

I can’t wait for Scheana to get pissed at Kristen.

New girl Lala (who names their kid “Lala?”) is working the register. She says so far she’s doing well; no one has punched her in the face or called her a bitch yet.  At least she has a sense of humor. I think. Maybe she was being serious.

Katie is training a new server and says it’s more complicated than you might think. They have to memorize several menus, as well as all the tables (the place is huge) and says Lisa is the most intimidating person in the world next to Beyoncé. I don’t think of either one of them as being intimidating.

Scheana is reliving her birthday party where James got drunk and acted ridiculous. James started chatting up some other girl and they left together in an Uber. Apparently, the car only went to James’s address, and the next morning, another Uber was called to go to the girl’s house at 6 am. The smoking gun Uber. In checking James’s email, Kristen found out.

Lala is already asking for time off because she’s an actress/model and doesn’t take the job seriously. Really. That’s pretty close to what she said.

Kristen is mad texting Scheana because the girl James left with is a friend of hers, so it’s her fault. Scheana says that when Kristen has problems, she takes them out on her friends. Why is she still friends with someone who’s saying she’s a bitch and her friend is a whore?

Jax has brought his new squeeze, Britney, for a job interview. Lisa asks her if she has a resumé, but she doesn’t have it with her since this was a spontaneous move. Katie tells Jax he needs to stop juggling women. He then asks Lala to some party and Katie says he takes out of sight out of mind to a whole new level. Lala is staying with Stassi on top of it. What’s wrong with him??? Lisa tells Britney she’ll think about it and to drop off a resumé. She says to her manager that this girl needs to put some “trousers” on the next time she comes for an interview. What she was wearing was comparable to Annabelle’s party outfit. Why didn’t Jax take her home to change and get a resumé?

Katie and Schwartz have a dog baby (Gordo) who’s having a birthday. They’re nine months into the six month old tomato she gave him (Schwartz, not the dog). He says the more she backs off, the more interested in following through he becomes. Sigh. So predictable. Katie talks about Kristen finding the Uber receipt. Ha-ha! Schwartz says it’s a waste for Kristen to date anyone not cheating on her since she has such great hacking skills.

Down to business. Kristen and James are sitting at a restaurant table and she tells him how embarrassing his behavior was at Scheana’s party. Kristen says that people call her crazy for checking boyfriend’s emals, but she always finds something. Maybe that says something about you, Kristen. James says nothing happened (another sigh). He asks if she’s ever cheated on him, she says she’s done and leaves. Kristen whines in her individual interview about how hurt she is. Please. After what she put that guy through last season, he deserves a hall pass, and I don’t say something like that lightly.

Katie, Schwartz, Ariana and Tom are out together and are discussing how they can’t take anybody seriously that Jax is dating. Ariana says he’s the SUR welcoming committee for anyone with boobies. The new girls join them, along with Britney and Jax. Interesting.  Jax has a foot fetish, slightly dirty please. He apparently Instagrams about this. Glad I’m not following him. Tom says Britney is on the Jax Express, and Jax says he is psyched about dating someone who is clueless about SUR and himself. Ariana says there’s something about Lala she doesn’t trust, and wonders why she was chosen to go to Venice when there are more than enough models around.

Kristen goes down Memory Lane, looking at pictures of her and James. James comes in, and he apologizes. She says he’s angry when he drinks, and he says he gets angry at her when he drinks, but he’s not sure why. I know why. Because she treated him like dirt and dated him while still stalking Tom and making his life miserable. James comes clean that he might have tried taking the other girl’s clothes off but nothing happened. In his individual interview, he says they totally had sex and he was lying to Kristen for her own good. His own good maybe. I know they’ve broken up by now, but didn’t he think she’d see this at the time? Kristen believes him and says he obviously wants to work on the relationship.

Tom and Ariana go furniture shopping. He wants some new amazing things to go with his new amazing girlfriend. I have to admit, they do seem to work well together. They both seem like decent people and it always boggles my mind that he was with Kristen for as long as he was. He says when buying a couch, it’s not about knowing your budget, but about knowing yourself. Whatever that means. I know myself well enough to know I’m not spending three grand on a couch. I guess they’ve never heard of Wayfair.

In pondering her friendship with Scheana, Ariana says sometimes the only requirement Scheana has for a friend is that they haven’t screwed her over in two months. Ariana says she’s not going to give any old tomatoes, but if Scheana is going to be friends with Kristen, she’s not going to be around as much. What kind of friend blames you for her boyfriend cheating and calls you a bitch? Providing you’re not the one he cheated with.

Jax pumps (no pun intended) Lisa for whether she’s going to hire Britney or not. Lisa is like, I want to see a resumé first. Lisa says she’s tired of Jax’s revolving girlfriend door where there’s weeks of “secret snogging behind the bar” and then he won’t return the girl’s phone calls and she’s left to pick up the pieces. I have some advice. Don’t hire Jax’s girlfriends and don’t get involved if you do. There. That’s done.

Commercial break. Lisa is introducing the new season of The Royals and we get a gratuitous Giggy moment.

Ariana and Scheana discuss the new girls, Lala and Faith. Ariana says that when you’re profile pic is your naked behind, modeling probably isn’t what you’re doing. It’s a great shot, but yep, it’s not exactly a Vogue shot. They grill Lala on her upcoming job. Ariana finally comes out and says she thinks Lala is lying and Lala admits she is. She says it’s a “fun” trip. They ask what she has to do for the trip. Whoa. Schaena says lying isn’t the way to make friends. I think Scheana is actually very good-hearted and I believe her when she says she didn’t like this girl coming in and lying to Lisa right off the bat.

Schaena bitches to Ariana about Kristen repeatedly texting her. She called Scheana a rude bitch because she didn’t know ahead of time that James was going to boink that girl. Kristen is more mental than Ed Grimley. Ariana runs down the Kristen crazy train list, which includes Kristen punching people at Scheana’s birthday party last season and creating a scene at her wedding. Scheana says she’s been friends with Kristen longer, but is closer to Ariana. I forgot to mention that, although good-hearted, I think Scheana doesn’t have a brain in her head. If anyone had put my close friend through what that nut did to Ariana last season, there’s no way I’d keep them in my life, no matter how long I’ve known them. If nothing else, you have to realize that at some point, you will be the target.

Yikes! The walls in Scheana’s apartment are covered with HUGE pictures from the wedding. Scheana says she’s had enough of the texting business and being called a bitch. Scheana says Kristen is the common denominator in all the problems and we flash back to every problem she’s caused at a party. Kristen can’t “wrap her head around” (ugh!) that it could possibly be her fault. Scheana says everyone is getting to the point where she can’t be friends with both them and Kristen. So then Kristen says it’s their fault. You know, because she could never, ever be the cause of any difficulties.

Next week looks good. Schwartz is ready to pop the question, and Shay walks out.

Après Ski

Just a quick note on this show. This group needs to take a lesson from Below Deck. If they want to provide a five star experience for the guest, they need to find out the guest’s needs ahead of time. Last week, they planned a surprise lunch in a gondola – not the kind like in Venice, but those things that go way up high on a cable – and one of the guests was not only vegan, but they were afraid of heights and had an anxiety attack. Obviously, the guests did not leave happy, but that could have been easily prevented. They also don’t seem to be able to retain the things they are told. Having it written down would make everything a million times easier. My two cents.

Nov7

November 6, 2015 – Almost Jason, Roswell & Some Returns

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

It’s almost time and I’m already feeling that let down you get when the party is over and the guests go home. I’ve watched this storyline like some men watch a football game.

Doc is referring Anna to another therapist.

Ava shows up at Paul’s office with a gift for him. A blah-blah-blah, whatever artist it was both he and Tracy were looking for the other night. I’m guessing he’s the big gun she’s going to switch for Scotty. Ric says pretty much nothing to Sonny.

Come on, let’s get to the wedding.

Felix is having to deal with the boys (I mean the real boys) and Epiphany comes to take over. That’s what she’s best at, taking over. Michael says to Sabrrrina he’s glad their baby will have both his parents. Right now Sabrrrina’s wishing she’d never slept with Carrrlos, and I’m hoping with the tiniest hope that he’s not dead. Could happen. Nicholas is looking for Hayden. Michael wonders why he brought such a despicable woman there. Like Nicholas is any better, since he stole Michael’s company.

Jason thinks Carly is out of her mind, but she’s so overwhelmed with feelings, that she’s not really explaining. He says he’s not Jason, and she says yes, he is, and she’s got proof. If that laptop is okay, I want to know what brand it is.

Elizabeth asks Hayden why she’s there. She plays around with Elizabeth a little, saying things like “you know why,” and then says she’s there to wish Elizabeth every happiness.

Patrick hadn’t known Sabrrrina was pregnant. Really? I guess he hasn’t seen her in a while. Patrick wishes her and Michael well. I’d forgotten they were engaged at one point.

Anna doesn’t want to switch shrinks, but Doc says objectivity is key here and Dr. Whatshisname is new. He’s also pretty good looking. It’s Dr. Andre. I thought it might be, but then I thought I misheard because I once had a medical Dr. Andre.

Ava tells Paul that the hearing was moved. Paul says If the governor was involved, he can’t get involved. There goes that idea. Ric says it would be better if Carly came to the hearing. Gee, he might have thought of that before, doncha think?

Carly shows Jake the laptop and shows him his face changing. Not only is the laptop okay, the program works perfectly. He says it’s unsettling, but it must be a glitch in the program. She says she has paperwork, and he gets it from the car. It’s the DNA test and it says right there, JAKE DOE IS JASON MORGAN. For some reason Jason doesn’t want to believe he’s Jason. He says to Carly that Jason is dead and she needs to let him go. He so desperately doesn’t want to be Jason, I would think he knew all along, but I can’t imagine he’d have allowed Spinelli to get involved if he didn’t really want an answer.

Anna tells Dr. Andre about Duke’s death. She tells him she saw a man she has reason to believe is dead, so it must have been a hallucination. She tells him she couldn’t sleep and Doc prescribed anxiety meds.

Nicolas switches places with Hayden in Elizabeth’s dressing room. Elizabeth asks Nicholas why he brought her, and he says he really didn’t want to come by himself. (Um…he could have brought Spencer. Obviously there are kids allowed.) They talk about what good friends they are and all they’ve been through and how many lies they’ve told. Okay, not that last one. He says they deserve some good times.  He says not she has the opportunity to be with NuJason (he actually says “new Jason”) and they hug. Blech. Let me at those rainbows and unicorns.

Hayden runs into Patrick. She tells him her memory seems to be coming back all on its own. Sam who was passing by and couldn’t help but hear, asks if that means Jake’s identity too. Hayden says you never know, and I rub my hands in glee.

Sonny gets Michael on the phone. He hasn’t seen Carly either. Michael decides to help Sonny out and foregoes the wedding. How long do they think the ceremony will take? He tells Sabrrrina to stay and have Carly call him when she gets there.

Carly lists all the similarities between Jake and Jason. She doesn’t understand why he’s fighting it. Jason is pissed because nothing seemed familiar. Carly says everything was familiar. Spinelli thinking it was him, Elizabeth latching on to him, even her own trust in him. (And how about that old lady from the Lucky Buddha or whatever that restaurant was? And Sonny?) Jason says she just feels that way because she loved Jason and lost him. He says his name is Jake (stop it, Jason!). He says if he was Jason, he’d remember and he doesn’t, so, nyah-nyah, he rejects the DNA test. Nice try.

Sonny asks for Morgan to testify too. Ric thinks he’s making a mistake with that one, and I’d like to make a smart remark, but I can barely pay attention. Ava says Paul agreed to help her and owes it to her. He says the only reason she isn’t rotting in prison is because of him. She’s going to leave with the painting, but he says hold on there a minute, and says he’ll give her the strategy to beat Sonny. The painting must be better than I think it is.

Anna tells Dr. Andre that she’s seeing Carrrlos. He asks why and she says isn’t he supposed to tell her that? He says it might have something to do with guilt. She doesn’t get why she’s supposed to feel guilty or at least that’s what she says to the doctor. She says some other nonsense about Duke’s death and loving him.

Carly tells Jason the last thing she thought was that they’d have a fight when she found him. He say did she think they’d go get a beer and relive old times? Carly says he’s been waiting a year for this info so what gives? He’s all la-la-la I refuse to believe it. She says he’s always been true to himself and that he must be scared of something.

Sonny says he’d kill anyone who hurt his children. That’s probably not a good thing to say at the hearing.

The natives are getting restless because Jake and Carly aren’t there. The kids were told that when Hear Comes the Bride plays, the wedding starts, so when that music from Ordinary People starts playing, they go get Elizabeth. She talks to Patrick and is all panicked because Jake isn’t there and she knows damn well he shouldn’t be. Sam texts him, Where are you?

Jason is still screaming at Carly that he’s not Jason. She brings up how he was working for Helena. He says he can’t be Jason because he doesn’t feel it. He says even looking at his face changing on the laptop, he feels nothing. She says DNA doesn’t lie. He says maybe it’s true; he can see it, but he doesn’t feel it. So what is he supposed to do now? Carly tells him he has to cancel the wedding. He’s still married to Sam. Oh boy! Oh boy!

Anna tells the doctor he’s been helpful and she’ll be going now. Not so fast, says Dr. Andre. He knows she’s lying and tells her to come back when she’s ready to be honest, but he’s not refilling her meds. She complains to Doc about Andre on her way out.

I don’t know what Paul told Ava, but she’s happy about it. He tells her that if she wasn’t being so emotional she could have thought of it on her own. He also tells her how beautiful she is. Ava says he can keep the painting and that if all goes well, she’ll have to find another way to repay him. He grabs her, dips and kisses her. As Anna peeks through the door. Shame on you, Anna!

Oddly enough, Carly’s phone has been abandoned at the accident scene, so the 50 people trying to call her get nowhere. Sabrrrina throws a red herring in by saying Carly might be at the courthouse. Epiphany decides to take the boys for ice cream with Felix. Oh, okay, while they’re waiting for the wedding to start? I would think Epiphany would know better than that. Elizabeth knows something is wrong and Carly ain’t at the courthouse. Sam says she just got a text from Jake. I doubt it says that he’s Jason.

He says he’s on his way. Elizabeth says she feels silly, that Jake probably did drop Carly off. Elizabeth is going to make an announcement about the delay, and I’m hoping Hayden has an announcement of her own. Just as Elizabeth says the groom is running late…

…Jason walks in with Carly.

Z Nation

We’re in Roswell. Two people are running down a road and one gets zapped and sliced in pieces by what looks like a beam from an alien spaceship.

Cut to Operation Bite Mark, traveling by Jeep. Something is watching them. They see a zombie chopped in several pieces, moving around (the victim of the spaceship?) and give it mercy. 10K talks about mutilated cattle and how he knows all about aliens from an uncle. Doc suggests he’s been smoking z-weed or needs to. Murphy says if there were aliens, they would have been repulsed by the human race a long time ago. Hey, that’s my theory. Some garbled dialogue comes through the radio and it sounds like, what else? Aliens. They see a Close Encounters type light in the distance that disappears.

Roberta talks about her father being an air force pilot and believing in aliens and he was a no nonsense kind of guy. Murphy isn’t having any, but Doc says that UFOs are more believable than someone flying a jet after the apocalypse. OBM finds a crash site down the road. It’s been there a while and Roberta says it probably crashed when everything went to hell in a hand basket. OBM picks off several zombies that come out of nowhere.

Cool! They drive up to a little fast food place that looks like a spaceship. A guy with a clipboard pops out and asks if they’re here for the visitors. He’s one of a group of “extronauts” who have been invited, not abducted. He says the aliens are coming to save them from the apocalypse, and they must be part of the chosen. He explains that the aliens communicate through one of their group, Bernadette, but they’ve all seen the lights.

He leads them to a small crowd out back. Bernadette emerges and says they’ve been waiting for the strangers to arrive, and among them is the one the aliens have been waiting for, an emissary. In case there’s any doubt, that would be Murphy.

OBM sits down for some food. A guy who introduces himself as Dan Scully, but reminds me of Max Headroom, sits down at their table. He says he was just passing through and these people are all crazy. He says what’s really going on is the aliens aren’t coming because they’re already here and are the ones who caused the zombie virus. Murphy says he’s crazy, and Dan says crazy stays alive. The look on Doc’s face says he agrees with that. Dan suggests they leave before the zombie aliens come back.

Dan leaves and Bernadette joins their table. She says the aliens prefer the term “visitors,” and I wonder if that’s an homage to V. Bernadette wants to take them to an abandoned air force base.

They drive to the base. Bernadette says that the zombies won’t bother her, but apparently they haven’t gotten the memo because OBM have to give mercy to several. Behind a hangar is a landing strip that Bernadette has prepared for the aliens. She tells OBM that the voices told her only to bring the emissary. Roberta asks how long she’s been in contact with them. We go back to the beginning where she was the one running on the road. They take a break in a small office and Bernadette keeps insisting that Doc get some gum from the vending machine. Both Addy and Roberta notice everything is nailed down or magnetized, and Bernadette has put on a seatbelt. As Doc pulls the knob for the gum, the building starts rocking like Dorothy’s house in Wizard of Oz and begins to descend. It’s an elevator.

After reaching the bottom, they follow one of the tunnels, finding something like a mini version of the alien from Alien. Murphy isn’t liking it and OBM shoots at it. 10K gets it in the head. They almost examine the body, but hear a sound like a bomb about to go off and take cover. The zombie alien explodes, and Doc says that he’s wearing paper jumpsuit during the next apocalypse. Everything does seem to be pretty messy.

They go into a room with some kind of interactive hologram thing. Addy knows the program and starts messing with it. Addy stays with the holograms and Doc, hoping to make contact with someone. The others go back to where the alien exploded. Murphy is wondering why everything is mostly in English. Addy says maybe this is based on our old internet. Addy then gets to pictures and info about Bernadette,  the members of OBM, and a whole lot about Murphy.

Bernadette and OBM follow some lights until they get to another zombie alien or alien zombie or whatever these things are. Bernadette is like they come in peace, but no, they don’t. And they’re hard to kill because it’s like they’re wearing armor. Oh thank you. One just grabbed Bernadette. I got tired of her  harping on how wonderful they were.

The others find some alien weapons, and 10K takes one after affirming it works by blowing off a zombie’s head. Roberta, Vasquez and 10K end up back at the runway. The entire city is lit up and Bernadette is in an alien beam. The spaceship comes flying around and puts a spotlight on Murphy. He starts to follow it. 10K shoots at the ship with the weird gun, but it shoots back and he drops the gun. Doc yells to Murphy not to go, that they’re going to probe him and not in a good way. Roberta picks up the gun and gets the saucer. It flies away, and Murphy comes out of his trance. The ship crashes and there are a lot of pretty colored explosions.

They all go to the crash site, and find an alien. They remove its helmet and it’s Dan Scully. This is like Scoobie Doo. You darn kids! Dan says there are no aliens and he was going to tell Bernadette the truth when she got on board. The others were test pilot zombies. He’d been recruited to salvage any technology there, but wanted to bring Bernadette back with him, dragging Murphy into the story just for fun. She’s like, why didn’t you just ask me? Too late, he dies and Roberta has to give him mercy. This was all a pretty complicated way just to get a date, but I have to hand it to him. He had us all going.

Bernadette and Roberta look at the sky, and Bernadette wonders how she’s going to tell the others. Roberta tells her she’ll be okay. She returns and says the aliens told her the human race isn’t ready yet and they need to wait longer. Way to learn a lesson about lying.

Next week, it looks like we’ll get to see Citizen Z again. I hope so. I miss him and Pup.

Master Chef Junior & Grimm

Master Chef Junior is back. It’s fun to see the kinder, gentler Gordon Ramsey. It’s a bit of a blow to the ego though that an 8 year old can cook better than I ever have or will in my finest hour. The judges do their best to make it fun for the kids. This season, it’s Gordon Ramsey, Graham Cracker Elliot and Christina Tosi. They started the kids off with making a burger, all of which were fabulous and made me hungry, and ended with a marshmallow dish. Marshmallows are difficult to cook with, and as sometimes happens, one of the kids cried when their dish didn’t come out as planned. I’d like to add that no matter what it looked like, Christina said it tasted good, and I have no doubt she was telling the truth. This kid wasn’t much older than I was when I decided to bake my father a birthday cake. That part actually went well, but I also decided to ice it when it was still hot. I ended up trying to hold it together with toothpicks. So, there you go, kid. You might have gotten cut tonight, but at least you didn’t have to hold your dessert together with toothpicks.

Grimm is also back, and no one told me. I don’t always pay total attention to this show, but it’s very clever and I love when the characters turn into stuff.