Tag Archives: Southern Charm

April 4, 2017 – Jax is Back, Alex Loses Custody, the Party Continues in Beverly Hills & Some Observations

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly finds Jax in her living room.

Tracy and Laura catch a couple of the monks trying to sneak out with the painting. Tracy says the painting is hers, but Laura says the painting is her. She thinks Tracy’s father must have bought it because it reminded him of her. Tracy says the monks were lying to them.

Hayden has a nightmare about Finn’s detox. When she wakes up, he’s coming out of the shower. He says last night was like an out-of-body experience. He can’t thank her enough for standing by him. She brushes him off, and he asks what’s the matter.

Andre asks Elizabeth how Jake feels about seeing a psychologist. She says he doesn’t hate it, but he’s not overly enthusiastic. She’s concerned about him shutting down if pressed about the island.

Jake finds Franco. He wonders when Franco is coming back, so they can finish their timelines.

Sam and Jason look at the footage from the gas station. Sam gets an alert about Julian’s credit card being used because she’s next of kin. She wonders if Julian is actually alive. I’m not positive about this, but I think if you’ve been declared dead, the credit card company will cancel your account. How is Sam getting alerts because she’s next of kin?

Amy 2.0 is at Kelly’s, speaking to someone on the phone about an outfit she’s putting together. Dillon interrupts her and asks if she’s that Amy.

Franco tells Jakes he has to work, but Jake can finish on his own. Jake says it’s not the same, and complains about having to see Andre. He asks if Franco can stick around. Franco says he wishes he could, but he can’t today. Jake is obviously disappointed.

Jason says Julian could be charged as an accessory, so if he was alive, he’d leave town. Sam says he’s probably right. Jason leaves for whatever he does, and Sam looks at the surveillance picture of a hooded guy.

Carly tells Jax that it’s been a rough few weeks but seeing him makes it better. Jax says he heard they caught Morgan’s killer, and Carly brings him up to speed. She says it’s a resolution, but now there’s no distraction. She tells him that he didn’t have to come all this way to check on her, and he tells her about Lady Jane dying, and that he wanted to tell Josslyn in person. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he doesn’t think it’s sunk in yet. Carly wants to go to Josslyn, but Jax says he thinks she wants privacy right now; they can both check on her later. Carly says when they were married, she felt more like a daughter to Lady Jane than an in-law. Jax says she’d always hoped they’d try again.

Tracy says the monks weren’t honest about the painting. She says why should she believe they don’t speak English, and she wants answers now. Another monk pops out and says she’ll receive them. Tracy asks if he’s in charge, and tells him that she was lied to about the painting. Laura asks if he knew J.L. Holt. He tells them about a man asking for asylum. He offered to compensate them, giving them artwork. The only painting he refused to part with was this one, because it reminded him of his daughter Tracy. He says the resemblance is amazing. She tells him they were estranged, and he gives her a letter that might explain things.

Finn wonders why Hayden is backing off, but there’s a knock at the door. It’s Curtis. He tells Finn he looks better, but it’s going to be tempting to get a quick fix to ease the pain to come. He tells Finn to stay strong and stay hydrated. He’s brought lunch, but Hayden says she has to go to work. Finn tells her that he couldn’t have done it without her. He moves in for a kiss, but she gives him a peck and leaves.

Andre tells Jason and Sam that they all have to be on the same page. Jake is his patient, not them, and it’s up to Jake what he wants to tell them about the sessions. He asks about their Helena concern. Elizabeth tells him about the timeline, and his time with Helena being blank, and then the scarecrow showing up later. Jason says they don’t know if it’s a memory or symbolic. Andre says not a detective, and it’s going to take time and patience.

Nathan goes to Sam and Jason’s place on official business. He tells Sam that Julian’s credit card was used to purchase a one-way bus ticket to Los Angeles. He asks if Julian ever talked to her about a plan to skip town.

Dillon says it’s Lord of the Rings Amy. He says he’s thought about her over the years, and talks about a Rings Q & A session that he went to. He says when he was going to ask a question, he thought of her, his high school friend, the only one who liked the movies as much as he did. She says she’s thought about him too. They’re planning a reunion, and Amy wants to get started brainstorming. Kiki walks in, and Dillon introduces them.

Jake wants to know why he can’t talk to Franco instead. Elizabeth says they don’t think it’s the best idea right now.  Jason tells him part of growing up is doing the right thing, even if it’s hard. Jake reluctantly goes in to his appointment.

Sam says if Julian had a master plan, he wouldn’t have told her. Nathan wonders about Lucas, but Sam says that’s’ a no. Nathan says whoever bought the ticket either found or stole Julian’s card. He wants to talk to Alexis, but Sam says she doesn’t know anything. Nathan says she might know something she doesn’t realize. AS soon as he’s gone, Sam picks up the phone.

Jax says sorry to hear about Carly and Sonny. He says Josslyn seemed to think they’re divorcing, and asks what happened. Carly says that Sonny’s grief drove him to sleep with another woman, and he lied to her for months. Jax says he can’t see her reaching the breaking point over a one-night stand. She saysit’s  not that he cheated, but who he cheated with.

The monk tells Tracy that her father wasn’t sure he’d see her again when he wrote the letter. Tracy opens it. Edward says he has many regrets about their relationship and how it turned out. He hopes this will rectify things. He says he was angry when made the changes to his will, and intended to add her back in, but there wasn’t enough time before he had to flee. He found the painting, and it reminded him of her strength, character, and heart. He tells her that if he doesn’t make it home, this gift is proof that in his heart, she’ll always be his little girl. This is his inheritance to her, and hopefully will prove that he loves and forgives her. Now she has to forgive herself. He’s sure she’ll know where best to put the painting.

Kiki asks if Amy and Dillon are film geeks, but Dillon says aficionados. Kiki doesn’t see the big deal about it, and Dillon says her loss. Amy says she has to get going, and Dillon says to text him. He says he’s glad they found each other again, and she says her too. Outside she gets all teary. She gets a call, and says it was like something from a movie until his beautiful girlfriend walked in. She thinks Kiki is wrong for Dillon, since she doesn’t even like Game of Thrones. Seriously. What’s wrong with her?

Dillon tells Kiki he thought he was co-chair  for the reunion with someone he’d never met, but he’s glad it’s Amy. Kiki talks about her volunteer work, saying she picked her boss’s brain, but she still has questions. She says she just signed up for a training course to be a nurse’s aid, and they’ll see where it goes from there. They start to kiss, but Franco interrupts.

Tracy tells Laura that she didn’t think her father forgave or trusted her. Laura says nothing would have stopped him from loving her, and he was proud of her. Tracy wants to take the painting home, but the monk says he can’t let her do that.

Sam tells Alexis that she’s booked a hotel overnight for her, so she can get away for a minute. When she hangs up, she says, sorry, Nathan isn’t questioning Alexis today.

At the hospital, Elizabeth asks Hayden how Finn is. Hayden says fine, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t sound like it. Hayden says she doesn’t want to talk, but Elizabeth says she’s the only one who knows what Hayden is going through.

Finn thanks Curtis, who says to thank Hayden, who got him involved. He says she clearly thinks a lot of him. Finn says she wouldn’t even make eye-contact this morning, and it seemed like something scared her off. Curtis asks if he remembers anything, and Finn asks what he did.

Hayden shows Elizabeth the bruises on her arm from where Finn grabbed her. Elizabeth asks if she thinks it could happen again, but Hayden says it was totally the coming down. She tells Elizabeth that bruises heal, but she’s concerned that Finn was able to zero in on her insecurities. Elizabeth says she can’t take it personally, and that she went through that with Lucky. Hayden asks how they bounced back, and Elizabeth says they didn’t. Instead, Lucky bounced all the way to Europe. She tells Hayden that Finn’s journey is far from over, but she has one of her own and it’s okay to make herself a priority.

Kiki asks Franco if it can wait. He says no. He’s having feelings, and needs to deal with them now. He feels like he can help Jake, and doesn’t want to be the reason that Jake turns out like Franco.

Andre asks if Jake likes action figures, and brings out a box of them. Jake takes out the scarecrow and wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz. Andre tells him to tell a story. Jake says in his story, the scarecrow and witch are friends.

Hayden comes back to Finn’s room. Curtis has left, and Finn jokes that in the last five minutes he hasn’t used. Hayden says they have to talk, and Finn says Curtis filled him in. He says he’s sorry he was physical with her. She says he scared her, not just physically, but emotionally. He said some harsh things that he doesn’t remember, but she says the thoughts must be in his head. She says he has a long road ahead, but she can’t walk it with him.

Tracy says the monastery has no claim to painting. The monk says her father never returned. The monastery is having a difficult time; there are too many people and too little money. They have a private buyer for the painting who’s willing to give them $20 million. It’s enough to fund the abbey and their charitable works for many years. Laura says it’s a good deed and an inspiration. Tracy says, hell no.

Carly tells Jax the Nelle story. She says she could forgive Sonny if he’d told her the truth. Jax wonders why Nelle would set Sonny up, and Carly says that Frank Benson was Nelle’s father. Jax looks disturbed, and we already know where this is going. Carly tells him that Sonny played her right into Nelle’s revenge. Jax says he’s sorry, and it’s all his fault.

Laura reminds Tracy that she’s in a monastery. The monk says he understands that she has emotional attachments to the painting. Tracy says she could no more give up the painting than a piece of her heart.

Hayden tells Finn about what he said to her. He says it was the drugs talking, but she says it was the truth. She knows what the town thinks about her, and convinced herself that he was the exception. She gives him a list of rehabs. He says he doesn’t want help from others, just her. She says he needs help from someone he trusts, and made it clear that it’s not her, and walks out.

Jake asks to use Elizabeth’s phone while she and Jason talk to Andre. Andre tells them that Jake is a private kid, and it’s going to take a while. He says Jake is sensing tension between them and knows that his time on the island is at the root of it. If they want him to open up, they need to make peace and make sure they’re ready for the truth.

Franco thinks Jake has darkness buried inside. Kiki says he has to respect that Jake isn’t his son and it’s not his call. Franco’s phone rings. It’s Jake, who tells him it was weird, and he wants to finish timelines. Franco says his mom or dad should help him finish it.

Curtis drops by to see Sam. She tells him about the credit card, and he asks if she thinks it’s Julian. She says if there’s even a remote possibility that he’s alive, Alexis will hang on to it. They need to find out who used the card.

Carly says nothing is Jax’s fault. He tells her he made the deal for the kidney.

Tomorrow, Anna bugs Valentin again, Carly asks why Jax didn’t tell her, Sonny tells Nelle to be more careful, and Lulu tells Dante she made a new friend.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis tells Kelly to turn the car off, and she tells him to get out. He grabs her by the hair, and tells her to turn it off. She does. Wow. This guy’s personality sure has changed. He grabs Kelly, pulling her into the back seat. She asks him why he’s doing this. He says he tried going on with his life, but she wouldn’t let him. She says she didn’t know he was like this. Us neither. He asks why she was at the police station, and she keeps telling him to get out. He tries to put his hand up her skirt, and she whacks him a good one.

Travis says he can make her feel good. Then he tells her she’s sick, and gets out of the car. She locks the doors, and gets back in the front. She sees him watching as she pulls away.

Randal visits his mother at the hospital. Louise says she’s been worried sick about him. He tells her he’s sorry, and she says it’s all right. Louise asks if they hurt him, and he says he’s fine. She asks how he got away, and he tells her the FBI came. Louise says that Marcie called them; she’s worried about him. This confuses Randal, but that’s probably not too hard. Louise says they’ve both made mistakes and they have to forgive each other. Randal says he can’t forgive her. When he looks at her, all he sees is her and Brad in the shed. Louise says he did the same thing with Alex, and she’s the one who sent those people to the house. He says they’re all dead now, and she says, thank God it’s over. Randal says it’s not, as long as she’s hurt. She says she’s fine and that the both of them did this. She’s not standing for it; it’s time for him to let it go. Those words aren’t in Randal’s vocabulary, and he says it’s just starting. He tells her that he’ll see her after the hearing. Louise can’t believe he’s still after the baby. He says he’ll be back with her grandson, and she says after all this, it’s not enough. She supposes she’ll be going to a funeral. She tells him she loves him, and he leaves.

Doctor Ross introduces herself to Marcie, and confirms her pregnancy. She’s twelve and a half weeks along. Dr. Ross asks if her husband is excited, but Marcie says she can’t believe it. She’d had fibroids and the doctor said it was less than 10% of a chance. Marcie is concerned that she’d been drinking, but the doctor says so far, everything seems normal. She says that Marcie doesn’t seem happy, and Marcie says she’s got a lot going on. She says Marcie should be happy after all the time and effort she’s put into it.

Back at the apartment, Marcie tells Brad to stop with the cold shoulder. He says that he needs time to process everything. She says she’s sorry for going to the police, but he says it’s not that. He wants her to stop antagonizing Alex; she’s been through too much. He saw her screaming for her child and saw her parents get killed in front of her. He asks how much more she has to suffer. Marcie can’t believe he’s coming to Alex’s defense, and he says she doesn’t know him. She wonders how long he’s going to punish her for making a mistake, and he says that’s not what he’s doing. Marcie says he still loves Alex, and Brad says she still loves Randal, so stop giving him a hard time about loving Alex. Marcie says that she told him to go back to her, and not to punish her for falling in love with him. Oh, no, just no. She says she didn’t mean to. She just wanted the pain to go away and for Alex and Randal to pay. She says she knows he doesn’t feel the same way, but he says he does. He says she’s made it clear she doesn’t want him though. She says she didn’t, but when she’s with him, she’s happy, and he makes her feel alive and cared for. He makes her feel strong and safe. He says that’s not love, but she insists it is. She asks what they do now, but Brad doesn’t know. I’m confused. Do they both love two people or was that first part just a cover-up for their real feelings?

Natalie sits by Joey’s bedside. The doctor says he’s looking much better, but Joey says he doesn’t feel better. He wants to know about Faun. The doctor says she left already and she’s fine; she was only grazed. He says he’ll be back later.

Lushion joins them. He asks how Joey is doing, and Joey says better, now that he found out Faun is okay. Natalie says she’s going home, and she’ll see them later. Lushion says he’ll let Joey res,t and leaves with Natalie.

Natalie tells Lushion she’s relieved and tired. She says they have to get their move on, since the apartment has been rented. Lushion realizes that she went off on the landlord, and she says they never fixed anything, so she told them to stick the apartment.

Officer Rick asks Esperanza what she knows about Kelly. She asks if he’s interested in her, and he says no, and points out Travis sitting on a bench in the station. He says that Travis just made out a complaint that Kelly is harassing him. Esperanza says he’s lying, and that Kelly isn’t a psychopath. He says okay, but she doesn’t like the tone of his okay, and says this is crazy.

Esperanza calls Kelly, and leaves a message to call her back. Rick tells Lushion about finding a dead body – Ramsey – and that he was stabbed to death. Lushion asks if there are any leads. Rick says no, but they think it’s a crime of passion. Rick tells him that he’ll have the keys later, and Lushion asks him not to say anything to Natalie. Rick asks if Kelly is the type to harass a man, and Lushion says no.

Esperanza calls Kelly, but Kelly says she can’t talk. Essie tells her that Travis is filing a restraining order. Kelly says she still has to file hers, and Essie tells her do it quickly or it will look like a copycat thing. She asks Kelly what’s wrong, and Kelly says nothing. She tells Essie she’s sitting outside Justice’s school and his science project is ruined. It’s been squashed into oblivion by Travis. She tells Essie she’s embarrassed. Lushion calls Kelly, and she says she’ll call Essie back.

Lushion asks Kelly if Travis is still bothering her. Kelly asks why. What I want to know is why Kelly isn’t letting anyone know what’s going on. Lushion says he needs a favor, and tells her he’s sorry about Ramsey. He asks her to keep the murder from Natalie. He says she won’t move in if she finds out, and they’ve already put the money down. I guess Natalie never reads the paper or listens to the news. Kelly says she won’t say anything. Lushion thanks her, and says he’ll be her next door neighbor soon. They hang up, and Kelly cries in her car. She drives away.

Steven calls Lushion into his office. Eddie is already there. Steven says he just finished Eddie’s report, and needs a witness. Lushion says he didn’t hear what Eddie said. Eddie goes over how they saw Andrew’s car, but no Andrew. Lushion starts to say something, but Steven says he has this. He asks Eddie why the window was shot out, and Eddie says he doesn’t know and makes some nasty remarks. Lushion says he doesn’t get it, and Eddie calls him Mr. FBI. Lushion tells him to quit trying to deflect. Steven wants Lushion to sign it, but he says get someone else. Steven tells him he’s the subordinate, and Lushion says he doesn’t care. He says this idiot – pointing at Eddie – did something to Andrew. Eddie threatens to bring hell back to his doorstep, and when he says Natalie’s name, Lushion gets crazy. Steven is like, whoa, and Lushion says he’s not signing. Steven tells Lushion to go.

Steven tells Eddie that he’s hotheaded and unreliable. When something goes wrong, he wants to kill everybody, and it doesn’t work that way. He tells Eddie to forget about Lushion being FBI. He says he’s over doing what they’ve been doing, and he wants something big – Escada. Eddie says can’t touch him, but Steven says that was his old man. Julius Junior is a hothead like Eddie, and he’s going to slip up. Eddie says this is too big of a decision for Steven to make, and he wants nothing to do with Escada. Steven asks if Eddie is cool with Julius fooling around with Esperanza. Eddie waits a beat, but says he’s cool. Steven wants to set something up. If Julius doesn’t cut them in, they’ll take him down. Eddie asks if he’s lost his mind. Steven says he wants a shipment, something big. Eddie works the streets, and somebody knows something. If they make this move, Lushion is either fired, transferred, or shot. Eddie says to let him pull the trigger, and Steven says him first. Eddie goes back out to the main office.

Lushion and Eddie have a stare down, but eventually get back to pretending to work.

At the hearing, Alex hasn’t shown up yet. She runs in the door, and the judge tells her to sit. He asks if she has counsel, but she says she can’t afford an attorney. He says the father claims that the child is in danger in her home. Alex says he isn’t, and Randal says he was kidnapped. The judge tells him he’ll get his turn. Alex says he was, and the judge is like, by your parents? She says yes, and says she was outside, and they broke in and took him. He asks what’s to stop them from doing it again, and she says they’re dead. The judge is surprised that the report is less than 24-hours old, and Alex tells him they were killed by the FBI. He mentions that her father was a racist, and she says that’s not her. Well, you’d think this would be a given, since obviously she had an affair with Randal. The judge reads out loud about Alex’s mother dropping the baby into a lake infested with alligators. He becomes more astounded as he reads, which is making me laugh. He says when he read it, he thought it must be an exaggeration, and Randal says it happened. The judge wonders how he can allow the baby to go home with his mother, and Alex says he’s her son. The Judge says that’s no guarantee of safety. Alex insists that she won’t let any harm come to him. The judge continues about how Brad threatened to kill Randal and that he can’t allow a child to be with Alex’s husband. She says they’re separated, and Randal says that Brad was at the house earlier.

Alex begs for the judge to listen. She says she’d never allow harm to come to her son. He says that he understands, but does she? She says her husband saved the baby. The judge says that proves they’re still in contact, and rules in Randal’s favor. Alex says he’s not the biological father.

Next time, Kelly’s baby daddy’s mother pays a visit, Randal isn’t letting anything go, and Natalie tells Kelly to pull the trigger.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Did they run out of material? We’re seeing a retrospective of the season. I concentrate on the earrings I haven’t noticed before. We begin where we ended last week, with Dorit saying that LisaR is unpredictable, and she doesn’t know what Lisa is capable of.

Meanwhile, back at LisaV’s Diamonds and Rosé Party, Dorit grills LisaV and PK as to whether she’s ever said that LisaR has a drug problem. In her interview, LisaV wonders which LisaR we’re getting tonight. Silly chit-chat happens. LisaR makes snarky comments about LisaV in her interview, which makes me not like her.

On the other hand, Eileen says she’s softening toward LisaV, and realizing she has feelings and a heart. This isn’t exactly endearing, but an improvement. Dorit has some kind of gold leaf in her hair, and LisaR says that it looks like a gold goose took a crap on Dorit’s head. I’m forced to laugh and agree, even though I don’t want to. Of course everyone looks fabulous, and so does the food, and the décor, and everything. Kevin Lee is rocking a tapestry rose patterned suit, reminding me of the purple paisley suit my friend Tommy wore to my wedding. Camille is here! Kim shows up too, and she looks the best I’ve seen in quite a while. She gushes over being a grandma, and of course, has pictures.

LisaR says Eden didn’t back her up on the Hong Kong trip, which is fine, but she doesn’t trust her. She tells Eden she’s “confused,” and wonders why Eden didn’t step in and say that Lisa doesn’t have a drug problem. Eden says she kind of shut down. Eileen says not saying something makes things worse. Quick, let me write that down. In her interview, Eden says that LisaR has awkward, evil energy. That’s one way to put it. I’d probably just say she’s an a-hole.

Erika is wearing a pink wig and a black cat suit, adorned with faux diamonds. They sit down to dinner, and LisaV toasts to everyone, thanking them for coming. They’re serenaded by some guy with a guitar. Aww! The ponies have faux diamonds and pink bows in their manes. For all I know, they might be real diamonds.

Dorit tells Kim about LisaR’s behavior at the Hong Kong dinner. She talks about Lisa asking if she trusts her husband, and suggests that Lisa is projecting. Kim says that Lisa is erratic and mean; exhibiting vicious behavior and then regret. In her interview, Kim says Lisa spins things and turns them around so she’s the victim.

The ladies discuss having babies over dessert. LisaV comes by with some fancy caviar things on a long, thin tray. The ladies visit with the ponies, who also have glitter on their hooves. Everyone is dazzled. Erika gets on the swing. LisaV asks if she has underwear on. <sigh>

Everyone mingles outside as the guitarist plays. Kim talks to LisaV about the Hong Kong dinner, and asks where it ends with LisaR. Kim says it isn’t her problem, but she’s been there. Well, it wasn’t that long ago. We spy LisaR, and LisaV suggests Kim talk to her. Kyle wants to know where the escape route is. LisaR is reluctant to approach the group.

Erika dares LisaR to mingle with Kim. Lisa tells Eileen that Kim said she’d heard things. She figures that it must have to do with what she said about PK. Eileen calls Kyle over, and tells her to bring Kim.

Eileen tells Kyle that she thought they were done with this. Kyle says it’s about what LisaR said about PK. PK says they’re all lying liars who lie, and Dorit tells LisaV there’s tension in the air. Dorit thinks she needs to join them, and Lisa says she’ll go with her. I love how arguments between two people always turn into a group effort.

LisaR asks Dorit what she needs to say. Dorit says that Lisa was mean-spirited in Hong Kong, and wants to know where it came from. Lisa says Dorit was saying she had a Xanax problem. Eden gets dragged in, and Dorit says she never said that Lisa had a problem. LisaV says that LisaR put it out there. In her interview, Erika says no party is complete without a catfight. Eden says Dorit asked her if LisaR had a problem, and we flash back to their conversation. LisaR says there it is! like she’s just found Excalibur.  Dorit says her extreme accusations weren’t nice. Lisa says those were her observations, and LisaV says she doesn’t think so. Kim says she’s gone after a pretty long list of people. In her interview, LisaR takes no responsibility for anything, and owns nothing. She insists she tells the truth, and tells Dorit she’s all over the place. Dorit say she never had an issue with her. Lisa gets in her face, and Dorit tells her to take a step back; if she can smell Lisa’s breath, she’s too close.

LisaR asks why Dorit didn’t call her and talk to her. Dorit asks why she would, since Lisa acts like a nutter. Lisa says, no, you. Dorit brings up the dinner again. Lisa tells her that what she did to Erika was disgusting. Dorit says she made every attempt to right things. Erika says she called her cold, and Dorit says she is. Erika says if the shoe was on the other foot, would she warm up to the other person? Dorit says she would, and Erika says tha’s not a normal response. Dorit says Erika has been called cold by other people, and LisaV says that Dorit apologized. Erika claims she didn’t, and we flash back to when she did. Erika says she’s grateful, but she doesn’t remember. Dorit “reminds” her of insisting she make PK apologize as well. Erika says she’s done nothing, but Dorit talks sh*t about her. Dorit says Erika doesn’t know who she is.

PK joins the group. He’s the Peter of Beverly Hills. Erika asks if he’d ever said she tried to seduce him. He says no, and says he’s not appreciating watching his wife get ganged up on. He calls Erika inherently cold. He says that Dorit made a joke, and then she apologized, so at what point is it over? Erika says Dorit always has ugly things to say, when she’s been nothing but nice. PK says she’s delusional, and Erika says they haven’t been nice to her. They get stupid, and go back and forth because he calls her honey. Everyone stands around and watches.

Eileen says that Erika isn’t cold. In her interview, she says she can’t imagine Vincent being so “inherently” rude and classless. PK says he didn’t think Erika flashed him on purpose, and Dorit says neither did she. Kyle asks if he thinks Erika was coming on to him, and he says no. Dorit says the only time it came up, is when Eileen brought it up. PK says he doesn’t get it. Eileen tells everyone to stop, and PK leaves. Erika tells Dorit she wants to be friends and let it go. She says it was embarrassing for her. Dorit says if either one of them thought she was that person, they’d never have invited her anywhere. Erika says the underwear thing hurt her feelings, and Dorit apologizes again.

Under the tent, LisaV says she feels like she can’t come to Dorit’s defense without getting bothered about it. Ken makes an inappropriate joke.

Erika says it’s nice to see Dorit being authentic. She wants to have a genuine connection, but says it will be slow. They both say they’re good.

Eden feels that she and LisaR have gone up and down, but Lisa is never present in the friendship. LisaR says that once Eden talked to LisaV, her guard went up and they were done. Nice of her to let Eden know. Eden says she’s given LisaR her energy and heart, and she doesn’t even know her. For her to say they’re done because of that is the worst, and she’s tired of being used as Lisa’s scapegoat when she’s been there for her. Snotrag Lisa says she didn’t ask Eden to be there for her. Eden is yelling and really upset, and says God forbid that Lisa should be there for her. If Lisa says “wow” one more time, I’m going to scream.

Eden storms off. In her interview, Eden can’t believe that she and LisaR were still talking and even going on vacation together, and Lisa didn’t let her know they were done. LisaV follows Eden. Eileen thinks that Eden felt dismissed by everyone. Erika bids everyone good night. Eden tells LisaV what happened. LisaV says she doesn’t need to be loved by everyone. Erika says she’s protective, but everyone has seen she’s human.

LisaR doesn’t take responsibility for anything, but wishes Eden well. In her interview, Eileen says she shouldn’t assume that when she wants to clear the air, that everyone else does too. Lisa says that her words aren’t always appropriate, but there’s always truth in them. I don’t suppose she’ll ever get that being honest doesn’t mean just saying whatever pops into your head.

This was the finale, but there were no interesting what they’re doing now things. With the exception of Erika coming back to The Young and the Restless, and doing Dancing with the Stars. However, there were some worthy parting words. Ever the optimist, LisaV tells us that love and laughter will supersede all, even with this group. And Kyle thinks that if everyone would take more time to get to know one another before judging, they would realize they have more in common than not.

Amen, sista, but next time is the reunion. All those hearts and flowers are going to fly right out the window.

A Few Observations

🍑 Is it me or are the Atlanta Wives on more than the others?

💋 On Little Women: LA, the Briana/Matt saga goes on, this time with Briana’s best friend Lisa telling the ladies that Matt drunk texted her about a dream he had involving the two of them. Lisa tried to tell Briana, who only got upset that Lisa didn’t tell her sooner. Oh, for the love of all that’s holy, dump that guy already. There were more fabulous earrings, and Terra explained the different types of dwarfism very well. They don’t know about D’Artagnan yet. We also found out that one of Elena’s twins has her type of dwarfism. She’s upset about the ladies choosing the taller brother later in life, but Preston thinks they’ll both wow the girls.

🍸 Southern Charm will be starting a Savannah edition on Monday, May 8th at 10 pm. Do we need this? I already don’t like the people as much as the ones in Charleston, but maybe they just took me by surprise.

🌟 I was thinking about my fascination with reading recipes, looking at pictures of food, and watching cooking shows, and came up with my own quote: Those who can’t do, read about it.

 

April 3, 2017 – Good-by Lady Jane, Hello Southern Charm, Vanderkids Reunite & a Sweet Comment

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

So when is Faison getting back to Port Charles already?

Michael finds Larry in his office. Larry claims that he thought it was Tracy’s office.

Laura and Tracy arrive at the monastery in Turkey.

Jason makes a psyche appointment for Jake. Sam is impressed. She asks if they’re moving forward with their other idea, but Jason says it’s not up to him. Sonny arrives, and makes a cute, dimply smile.

Carly tells Josslyn that she’s been distracted. She says she’s been in her own world, and Josslyn asks if her world includes Sonny. Carly says that Sonny has always loved Josslyn, but Josslyn thinks they should divorce.

Someone watches Alexis from outside Kelly’s. She steps outside and sees Jax.

Laura thinks they should find somewhere to sleep before they lose daylight. Tracy wants to find her painting first. She’s concerned that Larry might be a step ahead of her. Two monks pop out, babbling in Turkish. Laura tells Tracy that it’s Turkish for trouble.

Larry says he was looking for the minibar, but Michael says there isn’t one. Larry asks to be pointed in Tracy’s direction, but Ned interrupts saying, no you don’t.

Jax sits down with Alexis. She wonders if it’s a happy coincidence, and apologizes for how she behaved last time. He asks if she’s in recovery. She says she had a relapse, but she’s on the wagon today. He gives her his condolences about Julian. She says she feels him everywhere, and he asks if she wants to talk about it.

Sonny asks what’s up, and Sam says Jason will explain. She tells him Jason has something personal to ask, and to think hard before he makes a decision. Jason tells him they want him to be Scout’s godfather. Isn’t he already a godfather? Ha-ha! They’re also asking Carly to be her godmother.

Carly tells Josslyn that when you love someone, you can’t just turn off the feelings. Josslyn tells her that she’s worth a hundred Sonnys, and to stop messing around and get a divorce. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Jax about Olivia-J forcing Julian’s hand, but she doesn’t think anyone else believes he was sincere. Jax says she loved him, and that’s all that matters. Sam walks in, and Jax tells her congratulations on the new baby. He says he has to be somewhere, and leaves. Sam asks if Carly knows he’s in Port Charles.

Carly tries to change the subject, but Josslyn isn’t having it. She says Carly can at least get started with divorce proceedings. Carly says it’s not that simple, but Josslyn says she’s just pretending it is, so she doesn’t have to do it. Carly says it’s painful and complicated, and she has a life with Sonny. It’s going to affect other people, including Josslyn. She says she’s not getting a divorce yet, and Josslyn asks what if Sonny thinks differently?

Sonny tells Jason that if anything should happen to them, he’ll make sure Scout is taken care of. Jason asks if including Carly is going to make him uncomfortable. Sonny wonders if they’re thinking this could bring them back together.

Tracy asks the monks if they have any food, and Laura asks if she wants to star in her own version of Midnight Express. Laura tells Tracy to let her do the talking. While Laura discusses things with the monks, Tracy looks up, talking to Edward. Laura tells Tracy that they’re not getting kicked out after all.

Larry tells Ned there’s nothing to worry about, and Ned says there is with him. He says he has a good friend in the state department; one wrong move, and Larry is back home. Larry says he has the opportunity of a lifetime, and Ned says he’s not getting anywhere near Tracy. Michael tells them that she’s not in yet. Larry says he’ll wait, and Ned says he will too. Olivia-F, who I didn’t even notice was there, introduces herself, and Ned tells Larry that she’s his fiancé.

Michael congratulates them, and Olivia shows off the ring. Michael says he’ll have his assistant track Tracy down, and Olivia goes with him. Ned tells Larry let’s hear it. Larry doesn’t know whether to toast or eulogize him.

Tracy and Laura are shown to a room. Tracy balks at there being only one bed. The monk says something, and Laura says they’re not to leave the room. Women are only allowed there for worship, and services are over for the day. She adds that she told them they’d give a small donation, and Tracy owes them 2000 lira. Tracy wonders where the painting is, but Laura says they claimed not to know about it. She thinks when things quiet down, they should explore.

Sam tells Alexis that she can talk to her, but Alexis feels that she’s cried on Sam’s shoulder enough. Sam says she saw Jason many times after she lost him. Alexis says she got another phone call and heard the noise again. She wonders if she’s going crazy. She says she can’t shake Julian, and can’t seem to let go. Sam sums up what death on a soap is all about – without a body, she can’t believe he’s gone.

Jason tells Sonny that he and Carly have their support no matter what. There’s a knock at the door. No surprise, it’s Carly.

Josslyn starts to leave the house, and finds Jax on the porch.

Ned wonders how Larry could have a problem with Olivia-F, but he says it’s not the choice of partner, it’s the institution itself. Ned says Edward and Lila worked out, but Larry says they were the exception to the rule. Ned says he’s looking to the future, and isn’t repeating his mistakes. Olivia listens from the hallway. Larry tells him about good intentions paving the road to hell, and says no leopard can change its spots. Ned tells him that he and Olivia are honest with each other. He says she’s an extraordinary woman, and makes him want to be a better man. Larry says it does sound like he’s in love. Ned says he’d hoped Larry would be happy for him. Larry says he let the love of his life slip through his fingers. Ned tells Larry how happy he is, and Larry approves. Olivia smiles.

Laura says it’s not a vacation; it’s an adventure. Tracy says she’s more comfortable in a board room, despite what her father thought. Laura says her father admired her and talked about her all the time. He said she was treacherous, duplicitous, and ruthless, and everything he needed to run ELQ. She could be his greatest adversary, but also his best friend. She was his greatest accomplishment.

Sam understands that Alexis can’t move forward without proof. She’s already started investigating.

Sonny asks Jason if it’s a set-up, and Carly says she’ll come back. Jason tells her to stay right there, and explains about asking them to be godparents. Carly says of course she’ll do it. She says it’s about Scout, not them. Sonny says they can come together for that, even though their lives are apart.

Josslyn asks Jax if Carly called and told him about her and Sonny. He’s clueless, and she tells him they’re estranged. He says he needs to talk to her. He has bad news about Lady Jane; she’s passed away. He tears up, and says he’s sorry. They hug.

Laura tells Tracy that Edward thought of her as his heir apparent. Tracy says he disinherited her twice. Laura says she thinks he was afraid of her, but for all of his bluster, he wore his heart on his sleeve. It was clear that he saw a bright, capable woman, who wouldn’t just supplant, but surpass him. Tracy wonders what she’s doing here. Laura asks why it’s hard for her to accept Edward’s love. Tracy says he never said he loved her, and Laura says he was stingy with the words because they were valuable to him.

Michael brings in champagne. Ned makes a toast. Michael asks Olivia-F if she’s moving in to the Quartermaine mansion, but Olivia says they haven’t discussed it. Michael says living with the Quartermaines can be difficult. Olivia says difficult, but rewarding.

Laura tells Tracy that if the trip is going to bring up bad memories, they can scrap it. She can forget all about it. Tracy says good idea, but when they open the door, they hear crying. Tracy says it sounds like a woman, and Laura says they’re the only women there.

Alexis asks Sam if she has a lead. Sam says the call might not have been from Julian. If Julian was worried about criminal charges, he’d get as far away as possible. She tells Alexis that it’s difficult, but not to get her hopes up.

Carly says it’s settled; they’re godparents. Jason thanks them. Carly says what if Sonny had said no, but Jason says there was no plan B. He figured they’d put aside differences for Scout. She leaves, and Sonny follows. He tells her that they need to talk. She says they did, and he said everything she needed to hear. He walks away.

Josslyn tells Jax that her grandmother sounded like she was doing better. She wishes she’d been there. Jax says her grandmother wanted her to remember her the way she was. He says she died in her sleep, and it was peaceful. Josslyn asks if he was there, and he says he was. He says it was sad for him, but she had an amazing life, full of people who loved her. Josslyn was one of the brightest lights in her life. He gives her a letter from her grandmother. She doesn’t want to read it right now. They talk about missing her.

Sam gets back home. Jason says Scout has her godparents, but he’s not so sure about Sonny and Carly getting back together.

Sonny tells Diane to clear the afternoon. He has something for her.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think Alexis can let it go until they can prove Julian is gone. She shows Jason the footage from the gas station camera. He says it could be Julian, but a lot of guys fit that description. Sam gets an alert that Julian’s credit card was used.

Outside Kelly’s, Alexis makes plans to meet Molly for lunch. A hooded figure watches her.

Ned asks about Tracy, and Michael says he’s sure she’s on her way. Ned says she gave her blessing, but that’s before Olivia turned him down the first time. Larry says that Tracy is a pussycat, and Ned says he’s had too much to drink. Larry thinks she’ll be distracted by his proposal. Ned says she’s best resist his scam, but Larry insists he has the deal of a lifetime for the both of them. Michael gets a message, and tells them that Tracy chartered company jet for going to Turkey. Larry does spit take.

Tracy and Laura catch the monks trying to sneak out with the painting. Tracy tells them that she’s Edward’s daughter, and the painting is hers. They uncover the painting, and it’s a portrait of Tracy, during the period when she wore braids on top of her head.

Jax and Josslyn look at photos and reminisce. She asks about a hat that her grandmother is wearing, and Jax says it’s hers. Her grandmother would want her to have it.

We see that the episode is in memory of Barbara Tarbuck. She played Lady Jane on GH, and passed away recently.

Tomorrow, Jason talks to Andre about Jake, Nathan asks Sam if Julian has a plan to leave town, and Tracy wants answers now.

Southern Charm

Thomas brings Landon a flower. Then walks her dog with her. They sit on a park bench. She asks what he thinks will make him happy. He says a partner in life. He thinks they should take a chance. Yuk! But they deserve each other. This could also be a deceptive scene.

Patricia looks up Pug Chauncey’s horoscope.

Shep is scouting the bars, looking for his credit card, which he lost the night before. Cameran calls him a moron, and he says he knows.

Cameran can’t find Craig. She thinks he’s embarrassed about having to admit he didn’t finish law school at the reunion. Well, he wasn’t that hard to find. He’s in his yard building…something. Carpentry is his new hobby, along with gardening. Instead of going out on the weekends, he’s been buying new power tools. He still has plans to study for the bar, but Cameran says no one is holding a gun to his head. He tells her that he wants to be able to say he finished something that he started.

Thomas says his life has taken a transformative change. Kathryn failed a drug test, and now he has the kids. They’re living in the guest house because “kids are messy and destructive.” If they spit up, he wants it to be on a $200 rug, rather than a $30K rug. No comment. Kathryn can’t see the kids until she passes a drug test. What is it? Weed? Please. Or something else? Thomas says his least favorite part isn’t poopy diapers, but concern about their future, especially if something should happen to him.

Shep meets his friend Austen. Austen is already chatting with a couple of girls. They talk about the summer. Shep traveled a lot. He asks if Austen knows Landon, and says that he wants the truth about if she slept with Thomas. We flash back to Landon’s confession of love for Shep. He says it’s the South, so they’re just sweeping that under the rug. The girl Shep had been talking with is leaving, but he can’t remember her name, so no phone number. Austen tells Shep that she’d already given him her number.

Is Austen a new cast member? Omg, he’s telling us all about being newly single, and we see his nakey butt getting into the shower. It’s not a great view, and nobody needs to see this. He He’s originally from Maryland, and tells us that he actually has a job – as a beer company rep. He gets paid to drink and talk about beer. This is a real job? He flashes back to his parents telling him that he needs to support himself. They actually work too.

Whitney visits his mom, who’s doing a needlepoint of Chauncey. She has a new buzzer instead of a bell. She calls for Michael, the great martini maker, and they order drinks. Whitney tells her about a trip he took to Mexico, where they didn’t do any drinking, an just smoked weed. Patricia gives him a lecture, and brings up Kathryn, so that answers that question. In her interview, she seems sincere in hoping that Kathryn turns her life around. I think what Kathryn needs is rehab from Thomas. Patricia tells Whitney about an Uncle Philip, who went from a government job to working at Blockbuster because he smoked too much weed. It reminds me of one of those old, laughable PSAs.

Landon goes paddle boarding. And promptly falls off. She tells us that her life was a complete mess last year, and we flash back to some of that. She’s annoyed about the Thomas affair gossip, because her reputation is at stake. She spent the summer traveling, and now it’s time to face the bullsh*t again. Craig calls, and they talk about an upcoming pool party. She doesn’t think she and Shep are cool, even though Shep says they are. She’s bringing a friend named Drew, but when Craig asks if they’re dating, she avoids the question. Omg, she’s thirty-five. Seriously, is it me, or are people more immature today?

Thomas plays some polo with Eliza, the daughter of one of his close friends, and she keeps calling him grandpa. He’s too stupid to be insulted. She invites him to a party on Sunday (is this the pool party?) and he tells her that she should invite Kathryn. She tells him that she got a weird text from Kathryn, and she’d been kicked out of where she was living. She says she became friends with Kathryn before all this happened, and Thomas thinks it’s going to be a long road. Eliza says Kathryn needs Jesus. No doubt in my mind.

Shep meets Cameron at a beachwear shop. They’re looking for new suits for the party. She asks who he’s bringing, and he says Austen. Cameron asks if Austen is replacing Craig, and tells him she’s bringing Chelsea. She thinks Chelsea might be the mystical unicorn who changes Shep. They talk about Craig. Shep thinks the bar is over for him, since it’s been three years. In his interview, Shep says he’s over Craig and trying to help him. Cameran says that Craig is insecure. Shep says he’s from a family that’s basically jocks, and he wrote a cookbook. He’s not like them, and decided he wanted to be like a Southern bon vivant, and trying to be something he’s not. He wonders if Craig lies to his girlfriend. He says there’s no way Craig is cheating on her, and gives a funny analogy about Craig trying to get some, involving monkeys and whorehouses.

Kathryn calls Craig as he’s driving with girlfriend Naomie. She says she’s trying to get her life back on track, and living with her family in the meantime. She says she’d like to see them. Naomie has to get back to school, but Craig says he has time. In his interview, he admits his life has been calmer without her. We flash back, but none of the angst shown is actually Kathryn’s fault. Kathryn says it isn’t public knowledge that she’s back. After they hang up, Craig feels weird that they’re on their way to Landon’s house. They agree not to mention the call.

The guests start to gather for the pool party. Cameron says it’s 150 degrees and immediately puts on her bathing suit. I often think I wouldn’t mind living in Charleston, but then I remember how freaking hot it is there. She says Craig has promised to retire the Speedo. Shep introduces Austen as his protégée, but Austen says he’s a younger, better version of Shep.

As soon as they arrive at Landon’s, Craig tells her about talking to Kathryn. She pretends not to care that Craig is still friends with her. She says it’s a red flag that Kathryn went to rehab so far away and she couldn’t see her children. Um…it’s possible that there were reasons for that. Craig says sober Kathryn is awesome, and they talk about the kids. Landon says she can’t even go to lunch with Thomas without someone saying something nasty. In his interview, Craig says it doesn’t matter if they actually hooked up, Landon and Thomas were having an emotional affair, and it hurt Kathryn. He goes to say that an emotional affair can be even worse than a physical one, and I stare open-mouthed at the TV, because Craig is being so incredibly perceptive.

The pool party is in full swing. Cameran is drinking something called Frozé, which sounds God awful. In his interview, Thomas says that all the talk about them widened the gap between him and Landon. Ew! JD shows up and I don’t like him. Thomas chats with Landon about the summer. She thinks she can hear people talking behind her back, but I don’t hear them, so I don’t know if she’s just being dramatic. What annoys her most is that even if she had been with Thomas, it’s not like he and Kathryn are together. Did I just hear Thomas say that Landon has BO?

Whitney arrives. Everyone seems to be getting reacquainted, so I guess they don’t see much of each other in the summer. If it’s that hot when it’s not summer, I’d be gone too. In her interview, Landon says that Shep hasn’t reached out to apologize or anything, but in true Southern fashion, she acts glad to see him when she wants to tell him f-u. I’m not sure what he’s supposed to apologize for. Not returning her affection?

Thomas acts like an idiot per usual, urging the female guests to go topless. Shep talks to Naomie on the porch. He thinks Craig should do something unconventional, like being a chef. He doesn’t think Craig really wants to be a lawyer. He asks about Craig’s application to the bar, but Naomie says he should talk to Craig. Shep says he refuses to make himself vulnerable when that’s what friendship is about. What happened to these guys that they’re suddenly so astute? He tells Naomie that she’s the best thing that’s happened to Craig.

There’s a waterslide and beach balls and floaties and all kinds of fun stuff. Kathryn’s cousin, Shelby (there always has to be one), is there, and word has it, Kathryn is coming. Shelby says she’s worried about Kathryn, and had to ask her to move. I guess her place is where Kathryn was given the boot. She says Kathryn completed the program, but doesn’t seem any better.

Naomie tells them about the phone call, and says Kathryn sounded great. Thomas says she won’t take another drug test, and thinks it’s because she’ll fail. Cameran says she has respect for him stepping up for the kids. Ew! JD says he keeps thinking Kathryn is going to walk in wearing a ballgown, and make a statement.

Meanwhile, Kathryn goes to an appointment for a drug test.

This season, lots of drinking and parties, a toast to the bourgeoisie, Kathryn and Shep do yoga, Patricia presents an Indian psychic healer, Naomie asks Craig if he wants to be a lawyer and he tells her she’s being “dumb,” Austen hooks up with Shelby, Kathryn joins the group again, Jennifer is still around, and Shep tells Craig that if you mess with the bull, you get the horns. I can’t even believe anyone says that.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One

Reunions are tough to recap because everyone always starts talking at once, or even better, screeching at once. They should put in subtitles, or a flow chart in the corner.

Andy introduces Lisa as the Empress of SUR. No, Andy, she is the Queen of the World, She Who Can Do No Wrong. Introductions are made, and we find out that Stassi went on the honeymoon with Katie and Schwartz. Thank God Tom has gotten a haircut and those ridiculous highlights are gone. Scheana has a fresh cut too, and it looks amazing.

Jax is up first. Omg, Andy forgot to introduce Kristen. He remembered because of course we’re going over the Brittany/Kristen debacle. Kristen insists it didn’t happen, but James believes Jax. Britanny says it was just a kiss, and that they weren’t even nakey. Andy basically asks Jax if he has no shame, and he doesn’t. Andy moves on.

The wedding is discussed. The budget issue is brought up, and Schwartz has to agree that he was delusional thinking it could be pulled off on the cheap. Ew! We revisit the butt steaks. Andy asks Stassi how it felt to be back in the friend loop and be a bridesmaid, and she says it was everything. They talk about prenups. Lisa can’t figure out why Schwartz and Katie bothered, since they had fifty bucks between them. She says Shay was a different story, although Scheana says she had nothing at the time either.

Jax and Brittany have moved. To Schwartz and Katie’s building. And their floor. Katie says she doesn’t want it to be a dorm situation, and wasn’t too happy about it. Brittany tells us the story about Jax losing his temper at the apartment management, and they basically were asked to leave. Jax says they weren’t evicted, but got “move out papers,” whatever that means.

Focusing on James. Lisa says he was a good DJ until he screwed up. They talk about James’s lack of self-control. We flash back to James spinning at World Dog Day, and reminding people to pick up their dog’s poop. Apparently, he played all his own music.

Lisa talks about World Dog Day and how successful it was. Andy says he can mark the start of summer by Lisa getting a new Porsche. They discuss Katie picking up the car, and how Katie got annoyed at Schwartz when they were at the dealer. Schwartz tells everyone one again that his penis works, and says Jax can verify that.

Next is the tragedy in Orlando, and Lisa’s decision to continue on with the Pride events. They have the coolest flashback using a filter that brings out only a few colors, Lisa’s pink outfit being the predominant one. Lisa gets emotional, and says she felt that they could either go home or stand strong, but she didn’t hold it against anyone who didn’t join in. The employees who sat it out make their excuses. Lisa says it was an incredible success, and she’s glad she made the decision. We flash back to the craziness at PUMP. We hear that Katie sent a snotty text message about the celebration, and Katie says there are better ways to show support, other than pouring alcohol down someone’s throat. Ariana says it wasn’t about them having fun, it was about the Pride attendees having fun. Andy tells everyone that Lala will be joining them, and a lot of faces are made.

We go over Lala’s tattoos. Andy asks about the feud with Katie. Katie says Lala acted like a drunken a-hole at her engagement party, and she didn’t see her after that, but Lala was talking a lot about her. Lala says before Katie ever even knew her, Katie called her a whore. She calls Katie a mean girl.

Andy wants to know why Lala said some things. He goes over some really stupid stuff that Lala has said, like calling Stassi old. He asks why Lala said that Katie and Schwartz would get divorced, and Lala says because that’s what she thinks. She finally admits that she just said stuff to be hurtful. She says if someone keeps coming at her, she gets more hurt and lashes out. She says she doesn’t get them, and James suggests they liked hating on her. Kristen says he did too, until he hooked up with her. Tom says that Lala did nothing to deserve the treatment she got, and Kristen says she trashed them on social media.

We revisit Jax almost thumping James. Tom says Jax is all bark and no bite, but Jax says he was on probation, so he had to stand down. Andy asks why James talked about Scheana having work done, and James apologizes for everything he’s ever said – almost. They talk about Lala’s comment that no one has been working on their summer bodies, and Stassi says Lala doesn’t take responsibility for her remarks.

Schwartz talks about Ariana and Tom being on Lala’s side, and Katie gets pissed off all over again. Tom says she takes no responsibility for provoking it, and it’s an ongoing thing. He says when she first met Lala, Katie was constantly giving her sh*t. He says he’s normally protective of the group when a new person is introduced, but she went on a rampage.

Andy tells Lisa that the unsung heroes of SUR are the chefs, and he goes behind-the-scenes in the kitchen to interview them. He talks about each of the girls and the chefs give their opinions. It turns out that they have quite a few opinions, even on the Brittany/Kristen thing. BTW, they think Jax is no good for Brittany. He also steals something every time he comes in the kitchen. And they like Brittany’s boobs. I’m sure Jax will be proud.

James is still dating Raquel. Andy asks about GG saying he had sex with her, which he continues to deny. Ariana claims that GG wanted to worm her way into the group, but Stassi says that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We move on to Ellie’s claim, and the picture she had as evidence. Lisa isn’t buying that James is being honest. Andy asks if anyone believes that James didn’t sleep with GG and Ellie. James says don’t anyone rush to raise your hands when not one person does, and it gets seriously quiet. James says he loves Raquel and he’s never been happier. He talks about his relationship with Kristen being toxic, and Jax says it got him on the show. <snort!>

Stassi says that James is like GG, and he imitates Stassi crawling back to the show, literally getting down on the floor. It is pretty funny, and even Stassi laughs. Andy asks if James has been drinking today, and he says not yet.

Lisa thinks that Lala puts on a gansta image, but that’s not who she is. She says that Lala was also a great hostess, and the customers loved her. Ariana talks about how she tried to get Lala and the other girls to kiss and make up, and we flash back to that. Scheana says her apology was sincere, but Kristen doesn’t think so. Andy asks Katie about rage texting Scheana after talking to Stassi. Stassi says prior to that, everything she and Scheana had talked about was the opposite, and when the heat is on, Scheana cowers. Here comes the talking all at once. Stassi calls Scheana a flip-flopper. Katie says they tried to be honest with their feelings, and there’s more talking and loudness and finger-pointing.

Tom says that Katie exaggerated what the other girls said. Ariana says they tried to talk to Stassi about what happened and it blew up. Stassi says she was drunk AF, and we flash back to when she ran into the bathroom crying. It’s true that this group loves to bring up serious and/or important topics when they’ve all been drinking their faces off. Ariana gives her impression of Stassi. Scheana says they make her nervous, and Tom says he feels the same way; you never know what’s going to cause an eruption. James thinks Stassi is the boss and the head bitch. Tom says that Katie was emotionally vulnerable, and instead of being the voice of reason, Stassi and Kristen encouraged her behavior. Stassi maintains that the problem isn’t anyone having a differing opinion, but she doesn’t like how Scheana went back and forth.

Andy calls Brittany “Switzerland.” She says she and Scheana are super close, and she knows Scheana sometimes felt bullied. Lala seconds that, and says she’s seen it firsthand. She wants to know why it’s hard for them to back down for friendship’s sake. Katie says she mismanaged her emotions this summer, and wasn’t ready to accept Lala’s apology. Lala interrupts, but Andy says let her finish, and Katie apologizes. She says she was stubborn against Lala. She wasn’t in a good place with herself or her body image. She says what she did wasn’t okay. She can’t justify it, and apologizes.

Lala tears up and says she’s waited a long time for someone to say they’re sorry for hurting her feelings. She says her mouth is vicious, and she has to work on it daily. Tom thinks she and Katie are more alike than they know. Lala says she doesn’t hate Katie in any way of the word. Andy says headway has been made.

Thank you, Katie, for saying that you had an ugly moment, not that it wasn’t you. I don’t know if you realize how mature that is.

Next time, Reunion Part Two, Stassi’s little brother gives Jax a lecture, James gets on his high horse, Katie’s drinking is addressed, and Lala is questioned about the married man.

🐮 I’m really enjoying Sweet Home Oklahoma. The cast seems genuine, and genuinely funny.

March 30, 2017 – Nina Says the Magic Words, Two Junior Chefs Return & Landon is Still an Idiot

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Tracy tells Laura that while she’s looking for the painting, Laura can check out her old stomping grounds in Turkey and eat baklava. Plus, it will give Doc a chance to miss her. Laura says sorry, but she’s not going to Turkey.

Curtis’s phone rings. It’s Jason. He says he needs help; it’s about Jake. He says he’ll explain later, and asks if Curtis is in. Curtis says he is. They make plans to meet in the morning.

Sam tells Jason they should relax; she thinks lightening is about to strike. Jason says he thinks Jake could be in some real trouble.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Franco. She didn’t like how they left things, and asks him to call her back. She adds, please don’t do anything crazy.

Nina sees Franco in the foyer and asks who let him in. Franco says the butler did it. He has a wedding gift.

One of the gunmen at The Floating Rib shakes everyone down for their phones. No sudden moves; hands visible. He tells Ava that she’s beautiful and grabs her. She tells him not to hurt her; she has children. He says he doesn’t give a crap. One wrong move, and he blows her away.

Curtis tells Jordan that he’d rather be kissing her openly in public, and they’ve earned it. She says it’s been a long and winding road. Okay, Paul McCartney. He asks if they’re there yet, and she says depends on the destination. They kiss. Publicly.

Jason tells Sam about the drawings. He says that Elizabeth found a scarecrow drawn in the blank space. Jake claims to have no idea where it came from, but according to Franco, it’s definitely Jake’s work. Sam wonders why this happened, since Jake seemed to be doing well. Jason tells her that because of everything she went through, Jake thinks Helena’s curse is at work.

Kiki is volunteering at the hospital and runs into Elizabeth. Kiki tells her that she’s thinking of becoming a nurse’s aide. She’s working the psyche ward. She promised that when Morgan died, she’d do something to honor him and get over her grief. Elizabeth adds, and her guilt. Kiki asks if Elizabeth has spoken to Franco recently; she’s worried about him.

Franco tells Nina it will only take a second. She unwraps the package. It’s a home brewing kit. He says now she can make her own in the privacy of her mausoleum. She tells him she already has one, but it’s good to have a spare.

The gunman says all valuables in the bag, including gum and candy. Is he five? Olivia-F tells him he’s going to get laughed out of the pawn shop with her jewelry. Ava and Lucy empty their bags, and the gunman sees the sculpture and bottle of pills saying what do we have here? Ava flashes back to switching the pills. This is actually a win for her if he steals them.

Tracy wonders why Laura won’t help her. She says she’s being swindled; she’s not looking for a girl’s trip. She tells Laura that it’s about her father and his painting, and Larry wants half the value. She says she’s going to Turkey regardless, but Laura still says no; she has a life. Tracy says Doc will be fine, but Laura says she’s not comfortable leaving Lulu. The custody hearing was a nightmare, and she can’t believe a snake like that is raising a child. Laura says she’s going to rectify it. Tracy asks how.

Jordan asks Curtis if it was worth the wait, and he tells her that it was. He thanks her for dinner, and has no complaints. Except one – the night is coming to an end.

The gunman has Lucy help fill the bag. He tells her to leave out the sculpture because it’s ugly. Lucy puts the pills in the bag. The gunman near Ned and Olivia-F’s table tells them that he’s not blind, and to put the ring in the bag.

Kiki hates seeing Franco being quiet. Elizabeth says she does too, and he’s not returning her calls. She says she had to slow things down because of Jason.

Sam says Jake wouldn’t know about the curse, but Jason says Helena might have put it in his head. Sam says she’s the opposite of cursed, and asks what she can do to help. Jason wishes he knew what’s what, and wonders if Franco is just trying to be the good guy or maybe get to him. Sam says that’s beside the point.

Nina asks Franco why he’s really there, and he says he needs to talk to someone. She thinks it’s weird, but says they can talk. He says it’s about him, Elizabeth, and her kid. Nina asks how self-centered he can be. Asking her for advice is weird enough, but it’s about being a father to Elizabeth’s child. He says sorry. She says it’s okay, and thanks him because she’s happy now. She didn’t like the way things ended, but will never regret that they did.

Jason says Franco may be the point. Sam says they can make Jake feel like he’s loved and supported. Jason says that he told Franco to back off. Sam asks how that went, and Jason says Franco took it better than Elizabeth when he said he might have to rethink their custody agreement.

Franco tells Nina about Jason. She asks is he going to miss Elizabeth or Jake? He says Jake was their connection in the beginning, but he doesn’t want to live without either one. She says don’t then, but she has no idea how.

Elizabeth tells Kiki what Jason said about Franco, and Kiki asks who is Jason to be telling her what to do? Elizabeth says Jake’s father. Kiki tells her not to let Jason come between them. She says Elizabeth has to change Jason’s mind, but Elizabeth says he doesn’t trust Franco. It doesn’t matter to him that Franco changed when the tumor was removed. Elizabeth says she loves Franco, and knows he’s a good person. She tells Kiki that Her boys are better off with him, and Kiki says it’s her life, her kids, and she gets to call the shots.

Curtis and Jordan flirt, and she suggests leaving the restaurant. Her phone rings. It’s the station. They had a call that an alarm was triggered at The Floating Rib. Curtis says it’s probably nothing.

Ava asks the gunman to let them go now. Lucy says they’ve cooperated and done whatever they’ve been told to do. Meanwhile, at Ned’s table, Olivia-F won’t give up the ring. She says it’s priceless. It was given to Ned’s grandmother by the love of her life, and now Ned wants to give it to her. It symbolizes the faith and hope to take the leap. Ned tells her that it’s not worth it.  The gunmen switch places. The guy who was holding Ava tells Olivia that his brother is nicer than he is. He cocks the gun and says to give him the ring now.

Sam asks if Jason is threatening to take Jake away, but Jason says no. He wonders how Franco is involved in his life at all. Sam says she’d love to trust that Elizabeth would never endanger her children. She thinks that in Elizabeth’s mind, she lives for her kids, but she’s dating Franco, who’s done so much damage. She loves him, and allows her children to be around him, despite what anyone else says. Jason asks if she thinks Elizabeth has a blind spot. Sam says the important thing is figuring out what’s happening with Jake, and focusing on a fight is the last thing he needs.

Elizabeth hopes that Jason calms down and realizes he’s overreacting. Kiki says what if he doesn’t, and asks if she’s going to keep Franco away. Elizabeth says they’re still together, but it’s not the right timing for him to move in. She says she’ll do anything to keep her kids with her, and Kiki asks if she’d ditch Franco if Jason insisted.

Nina tells Franco about the custody hearing. He says it must have given her experience, but Nina says it’s different, since she and Valentin are married. In the eyes of the law, Franco is nothing to Jake, but Jason has legal rights. Franco tells Nina that she’s a genius. He’ll marry Elizabeth.

Laura says that the hearing outcome was disappointing. Tracy says Lulu isn’t defeated, and Laura says she’s still not going. Tracy says Laura will just slow her down anyway, since she’ll want to smell the flowers and taste the spices. She just wants to honor her father. She says she’ll hire guards for security, but Laura says has to fit in with the culture. Someone like her could be intimidating, and Laura suggests she at least learn some Turkish. She tells Tracy that she can’t just barge into other people’s countries with an entourage. Tracy asks why not? That’s how she gets things done.

The gunman says the ring must be worth something if Olivia-F is willing to die for it. Ned tells her to give him the ring, and she says she can’t. The gunman starts to count down, and Ned moves toward him. We hear a gunshot.

Jordan enters with backup and Curtis, and the gunmen are captured. Curtis says she’s still got it. Everyone is unscathed, and Ned says her timing is impeccable. Olivia-F says that Ned could have been killed. He says he didn’t want to see her die over a stupid ring. She says Lila is the patron saint of Port Charles, and she didn’t want his hands on it. Ned says between the ring and her, he chooses her. Olivia says he almost took a bullet for her, and he says he’d do it again, but would prefer not to. He says she’s terrified of marriage, but someone waving a gun her face is no problem. She reminds him that she’s from Bensonhurst. She says she thought she lost everything. They tell each other I love you, and he says that he’s sorry about pressuring her. He doesn’t want to wreck what they have. If she’s not ready for marriage, he understands. She laughs, and wonders what she was thinking. She has to get out of her own way and stop letting her insecurities call the shots instead of her heart. She talks about him being father figure to Leo. She says he can back off, but now she’s coming for him. She asks him to marry her. He says no. Just kidding. He says nothing would make him prouder or happier. She says she’s marrying a rock star.

Lucy blathers on, and Jordan says the gunmen are going away for a long time. Ava says she just wants to get her stuff, and moves toward the bag, but Jordan says that’s not possible.

Kiki tells Elizabeth that she has a chance at an amazing life, and not to let Jason take it away. He’s not the only one who deserves to be happy.

Nina hustles Franco toward the door, saying marrying Elizabeth will solve all his problems, and marriage is great. He thanks her for talking.

Jason tells Sam that maybe they can figure out how to handle things without Jake reliving it in some stranger’s office. Sam says a therapist isn’t a threat, and sometimes talking to a stranger is a good thing. She tells him not to worry; they’ll fix it. Jason says that Curtis is starting in morning, and Sam says that gives them time to come up with game plan, but Jason says he’s already started.

Laura tells Tracy, fine, she’ll go. Tracy says no, she’ll do it herself, and Laura calls her impossible. She says she’ll go for Edward’s sake. But that’s not the only reason, and Tracy isn’t the only one who’s grateful.

Jordan says everything in the bag is evidence and Ava will get it back later. On the side, Lucy says too bad for Ava, but not for her, and reaches for the sculpture. Ava says no pills, no statue. Lucy says she held up her end of the bargain. Ava says the pills are on the way to the station, and Lucy says that’s not her problem.

Jordan wonders if Curtis might have second thoughts about the PCPD, but he doesn’t. She has to get back to work, and he says when they finally get together, it’s going to be epic. She tells him that he has no idea.

Kiki tells Elizabeth to call Franco and tell him that she’s wrong. If Jason tries anything, she should fight for her kids – and Franco. Kiki goes back to work, and Franco arrives. He says he has to ask Elizabeth a question. He gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him.

Jason shows up at Windemere. He tells Nina that he needs to speak to Valentin. It’s about his son.

On Monday, Lulu sucks up to Nelle, Laura tells Lulu she’s going to Turkey, and Jason asks Valentin for a favor.

🍜 In similar fashion to Top Chef‘s Last Chance Kitchen, two contestants were brought back to MasterChef Junior. The kids had to butcher a chicken (no, not all that – they basically had to separate the pieces of a whole one) – one more thing I would have stunk at – and the challenge winner decided who got what piece to cook with. The giblets were not a favorite. I love how the kids seem to actually forget that they’re in a competition and root hard for one another. In his parting interview, one contestant told us that he wanted to grow-up to be a cross between Justin Bieber and Gordon Ramsay. I don’t know about that, but I wouldn’t mind having their combined bank accounts. Next time, the kids will be cooking for the Boy Scouts in the great outdoors.

🍸 I’ve been watching the last Southern Charm reunion in preparation for the new season. I’d forgotten how awful Landon is. Seriously, there’s something wrong with her. Except for her earrings. Those are perfect. One of the highlights to look forward to, is an Indian psychic healer who tells the group that Landon is Thomas’s soulmate. I’d say that’s right on the money, since neither one of them have one.

March 27, 2017 – Julian Won’t Go Away & a Vanderpump Wedding with a Side of Divorce

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Scotty tells Ava that he’s going to save her ass.

Laura interrupts Sonny and Carly’s argument at Perks, but Carly says they’re done. It doesn’t matter. Laura stopped respecting boundaries ages ago.

Elizabeth shows Jason the timeline of Jake’s life in the drawings. She tells him that she and Franco wanted to see how he perceived himself. Jason thinks it looks normal.

Sam calls Alexis about helping with Scout so she can take a nap. Alexis says she doesn’t know if she can make it today. She says she keeps playing the Julian stuff over in her head. Sam suggests coming over to talk; she doesn’t want Alexis to be alone. Alexis tells her not to worry, and hints that she’s going to a meeting, as she opens a bottle of vodka. Probably Joe’s Vodka. Sam says the other girls told her that Alexis wasn’t doing very well, but she was handling it – one day at a time. There’s a knock at Sam’s door, and Sam tells Alexis to come by after her meeting. Alexis’s meeting is with a drink and Julian’s letter.

Elizabeth shows Jason the scarecrow in the book, and asks if he doesn’t think it’s worth exploring. He says he talked to the psychologist at the school, and Jake is doing fine. Why reopen an old wound? Franco says it’s just below the surface, waiting for the right trigger.

It’s Carly at Sam’s door. She was looking for Jason, but Sam invites her in to talk. Carly thinks her marriage is over.

Laura apologizes to Sonny. She asks if he wants to talk about it, but he says no thanks. He says he spoke to Dante about what happened at the custody hearing, and Diane is usually better than that. Laura says that Valentin outmaneuvered them. Sonny says he offered Dante help, but Dante turned him down. Laura says well, he is a cop, but he’s also proud, and she jokingly wonders where he gets it. Laura says she might take Sonny up on the offer though.

Scotty tells Ava to finish her drink before Lucy shows up. She asks if Lucy agreed to give him the pill bottle, and he says that’s the plan. Ava doesn’t want Sonny to be more suspicious than he already is. Scotty tells Ava that he has a radical plan to blindside Lucy. As he hustles Ava out of the restaurant, Lucy steps out of the elevator.

Franco says that Jason might not want to talk, but they have to. Jake has something he’s hiding. Elizabeth tells Jason to look at the drawings. She explains about the blank space that the scarecrow now resides in, and says that Jake claims he didn’t draw it. Franco says he knows it’s Jake’s drawing, and Jason asks if this was Franco’s idea. Elizabeth tells him about Jake saying that Sam is cursed. Jason wonders what he knows, and Elizabeth says that’s what she’s trying to find out. She thinks what happened to Sam triggered him, but Jason thinks that Franco is behind it.

Sonny tells Laura to name it. Laura tells him about the six months of limited visitation, after which Lulu can pursue custody. Sonny doesn’t think she’ll have a problem, but Laura says that Valentin is a master manipulator, and she needs to find his vulnerabilities. Sonny says he’ll get someone on it. Laura tells him about Nelle being Valentin’s new nanny.

Carly asks if Sam thinks she’s wrong to still feel betrayed. She says she can’t just forget because Sonny wants her to. Sam says no, and hers is the only opinion that counts. She asks what Carly wants. Carly says that she wants Morgan to be alive, and her life the way it used to be. She says her life was shattered, but she doesn’t think Sonny wants to put it back together.

Scotty tells Ava good-by, and she tells him to enjoy his lunch. Scotty sits down with Lucy, and tells her that she and Ava have a lot in common; they’re both protective of their children. Lucy points out that she doesn’t date her daughter’s boyfriends. She accuses Scotty of doing Ava’s dirty work.

Alexis kicks back with the letter and some booze. We hear Julian’s voice saying she’s better off without him and how much he loves her. Julian appears, and says he’d do it all over again. He’d do anything for her.

Lucy says there’s always an agenda with Scotty. He wants her to hear him out. She says Ava has him wrapped around her little finger, and Lucy knows he wants the pills. He says he’s not denying anything, and she’s shocked. He says he doesn’t like the little finger business, but she’s right on the money with everything else.

Alexis reaches for Julian. There’s’ a knock at the door, and he disappears. Alexis stupidly hides the bottle behind a throw pillow. It’s Ava. She says it’s about Julian. She asks if Alexis knows that Jordan called off the search, and Alexis says it feels like he’s still there. Ava says for her too; he comes to her in her dreams and she can’t accept he’s gone. She says they haven’t found his body because it’s not there to find. She wants to pool their resources to try and find him, and in the meantime, she finds the bottle. Worst. Hiding. Place. Ever.

Sonny is surprised that Valentin hired Nelle. He didn’t think she’d stay in Port Charles. Laura says they don’t know Nelle like he and Carly do. He says Nelle is bad news, and Laura shouldn’t have anything to do with her.

Carly tells Sam that it takes a lot for Sonny to apologize, and he expects it to be accepted because he’s arrogant as hell. Sam says none of the other women Sonny has ever been with are the answer. She’s right; he’s arrogant and Sam doesn’t get it. She says women see the dimples, but underneath, he’s complicated, even scary. She doesn’t think there’s another woman strong enough for him. Carly asks what if she’s not strong enough anymore?

Jason says Franco is using their son to play Elizabeth. Elizabeth is like, thanks a lot for thinking I’m an idiot, and tells him that her eyes are open. She realizes that he has reasons to mistrust Franco. Jason says he despises Franco. He tortured Sam, and Jason doesn’t care about the tumor that was removed; he is who he is. Elizabeth tells him that he’s ignoring medical fact, and Franco is there because she trusts him. Jason says the boys will pay the price, but Elizabeth says Franco has no reason to hurt them. Jason says that Franco wants to play the hero. Franco says that Jake has a problem that needs to be confronted, but Jason says not by Franco. Elizabeth says Franco is a part of their lives and household, and get used to it; he’s not going anywhere. Jason says maybe Jake should then. If Franco is going to be spending so much time there, maybe Jake shouldn’t.

Elizabeth asks if Jason is going to try to take her son if she doesn’t fall in line. He says if she chooses to have a relationship with Franco, that’s her business, but Jake was doing fine until Franco came along. If he’s the cause of Jake’s problems, Jason is going to handle it.

Scotty tells Lucy that it’s time to give the pills back. Lucy asks why she should, and he tells her think of the children. Lucy says she was trying to shield Kiki, but maybe she should know the truth. She says that Kiki and Ava have a relationship based on deception. Scotty asks if Serena would see it that way. She doesn’t like drama, and that’s probably why she hasn’t visited. She asks if he’s threatening to tell on her, and he says if she doesn’t like the prospect, maybe she should reconsider.

Ava says she’ll take Alexis to a meeting, and Alexis tells her to mind her own business. Ava says that Julian tried to help her, and this is how she repays him, with a bottle of vodka. Alexis tells Ava to deal with Julian’s death in her own way and so will she.

Sonny says Nelle’s interest always come first – to hurt Carly and her family. Laura asks if that includes Michael. She saw them talking, and when she asked Michael about Nelle, he said they used to be friends. She had the feeling something was left unfinished. Sonny says Michael gives Nelle more compassion than she deserves, but his family always comes first. Nelle used Morgan’s death to get at them, and Michael will never forgive her for that.

Carly tells Sam that she and Sonny always come back to each other, but maybe they can’t find their way this time. She says that Bobbie thinks she and Sonny have reached tipping point. She likes Sonny, just not with Carly. Sam can’t blame her. Carly wishes things would go back to the way they used to be. but it feels wrong.  As many times as they say they’ll never do it again, they do. Sam says it’s the marriage they have, but it doesn’t have to be the marriage she’s stuck with. A marriage is done when you’re done growing. Carly says maybe they’ve reached that point. Sam tells her that she’s admired them for years because their love is so strong. Carly needs to ask herself if she’s sure that they don’t have it in them to grow some more.

Elizabeth wonders why Jason thinks Franco is the problem. Franco tells her to look at the bright side; they didn’t get in a fist fight, and that represents progress. Elizabeth says it was disastrous, and thinks that Jason is on the verge of threatening war. Franco says that Jason loves Jake more than he hates Franco. He knows something is wrong. He’s never going to be their cheerleader, but so what? Elizabeth says for Jake’s sake, she needs him on board.

Scotty says that Sonny and Carly should go on with their lives. Lucy doesn’t believe he’s being moved by compassion. He says he knows her, and she always does the right thing so Serena will be proud of her. Lucy thinks there’s more than meets the eye. She says she’s a stand-up friend, and one friend who’s never hurt her is Sonny. She grabs a piece of bread, says “Ta!” and leaves.

Laura appreciates Sonny being candid and will take it to heart. She’ll do whatever it takes to protect her family. Sonny suggests a backup plan, since Nelle is a disaster waiting to happen. Laura says he’s still standing. Sonny says he doesn’t know if he has it in him to try again with Carly He loves her, but it’s like what they had isn’t there anymore. Laura tells him to dig deeper to find it, and make sure there’s nothing left before walking away.

Ava says she’s not going to let Alexis use Julian to start boozing it up again. Alexis says what she does with her life is none of Ava’s business. Ava asks her what life? and Alexis tells her to get out. Ava says she’s glad Julian’s not there to see what happened with his sacrifice; she’s not longer worth saving. Alexis guzzles some vodka, and Ava walks out.

Laura makes a phone call. She says that she thinks she knows how Nelle might prove useful.

Carly walks into Sonny’s house. He says he doesn’t like the way they left things, and she says she didn’t either. Sonny’s phone rings. It’s a real landline with a curly phone cord. He says he didn’t want to be interrupted, and then says send her up. I guess it’s literally the house phone.

Jason goes back home, and Sam tells him that he just missed Carly. Sam is worried about her. Jason says he was dropping Jake’s glove off. Something is wrong with Jake, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jason will have to deal with Jake’s problem, whether he likes it or not. She’s afraid he’ll demand a new custody arrangement. She feels like she has to play along, and Franco asks what that means. Is she breaking up with him? She says no, but maybe they should hold off on him moving in for the time being. Franco says she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, and she says that sorting things out with Jake is important. This isn’t what she wants, and Franco says, but it’s for the best. He tells her that if they’re doing this, they’d better get started, and leaves.

Alexis is passed out. Someone jiggles the door knob. She stumbles around and opens the door, thinking it’s Julian, but there’s no one there.

Ava comes back to the MetroCourt and sees Scotty sitting by himself. He says their business concluded early, and Lucy left, probably hungry. Ava asks if he got the pills, and he tells her to save the applause. There’s a problem.

Lucy is at Sonny’s door. He says that Max told him it’s something important. Lucy says she’s waited long enough and can’t wait another minute. She has the pill bottle in her hand.

Tomorrow, Tracy asks Ava for help, Valentin says he’s ready to make good on his promise to Alexis, and  Laura tells Lulu that Nelle could be the answer.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s wedding time! Harrison! Dog whose name I don’t know! Lisa takes her place at the podium, and the attendants begin to walk down the aisle. Butter and Gordo! Where’s Giggy? Omg, I love Katie’s vintage brooch bouquet so much. I’m coming very close to buying one for myself. They’re not as expensive as you might think on Etsy. In his interview, Tom says he knew Katie would look good, but didn’t know she’d look this good.

Lisa starts by saying she’s been married over thirty years, so she has some advice – run. She gives the couple a list of do’s and don’ts, including not texting while on tequila. Schwartz says his vows, at first pretending that he forgot them. He says he was resigned to being LA’s most ineligible bachelor until Katie came along. In her interview, Kristen talks about how obsessed he was with Katie. Schwartz says he can’t imagine not waking up next to her in the morning. He talks about having to tear the relationship down to rebuild it, and says he’s never loved her more. He gets all teary, and no surprise, Tom does too, wiping his eyes on poor Butter’s head. Or maybe it’s Gordo.

Katie talks about the love, laughter, and tears, and how they persevered. She can’t wait to spend her life with Schwartz. Jax insists he’s not crying, but he is. The rings are exchanged, and we flash back to the ring on a string. In her interview, Katie says this is the real deal – her happy ending. Lisa asks if they take each other for richer or richer. (Not a typo.) They say their “I do’s,” and Lisa pronounces them husband and wife. Katie says they’re married AF.

The reception begins. In her interview, Lisa says this group has a way of working things out that makes no sense to her, but makes sense to them. The Schwartzes arrive. In her interview, Stassi says everyone thought that she and Jax were the glue that held the group together, but it’s really Katie and Schwartz; she and Jax were just the glue everybody sniffed. Ha-ha! She cracks me up. Carter tells Kristen that he likes when she’s drunk and has wedding fever. In her interview, Kristen asks who doesn’t think about getting married when they’re at someone else’s wedding. That would be me. Dinner is served, and Stassi makes Lisa a plate, since she’s used to serving her. Giggy!

Lisa asks Tom about marrying Ariana. He wants to, but says he’s never made an attempt at proposing. Lisa says she was like Ariana when she was younger, not wanting to get married or have kids, but things change, and it was the best thing that she ever did. She talks to Tom about partnering up for a new restaurant. In his interview, Tom’s head explodes over Lisa thinking of him as a potential business partner.

Schwartz’s brother Billy takes the mic. Nothing to see here. Brother Bert thanks Jax and Tom for getting them to the wedding. Billy takes the mic again. Still nothing to see here. Tom talks about Schwartz rubbing him the wrong way – said no one ever. He goes on about how wonderful Schwartz is. Stassi talks about them taking care of her a million times, and reminds me of a couple I was friends with in my single days, who talked me down many a time. In her interview, Katie says the wedding wouldn’t have felt complete without Stassi.

Time to drink and dance. Jax and Brittany step away from the crowd. Jax says he doesn’t think things are going well for them anymore. Because he’s the biggest idiot on the planet. Next to Lulu on GH. He says he loves her as a person, and then tells her that he’s kidding, . Because he’s still the biggest idiot on the planet. In her interview, Brittany says he was thisclose to having his weenie fed to the chickens. He says a wedding is going to happen; he just doesn’t know when. In his interview, he says she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and when the times comes, she’ll be the one. He wants her to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but IMO that’s debatable.

Lisa asks Katie when she’s having children. Good Lord, give her a minute. Scheana suggests that Ariana have a reception without actually getting married. At the bar, various guests toast to Katie and Schwartz. Tom tells Ariana about Lisa’s proposition. He says he’s been a bartender for ten years, and has always wanted to open his own place. He points out how happy and supportive Ken and Lisa are as a couple, and says he looks at Ariana the same way. In his interview, he says he’d love to be a dad someday. He tells Ariana not to worry, he’s not going to propose, but wonders if someday they’ll get married. In her interview, she says she loves him, but doesn’t know if marriage is something she wants. She’s not going to shoot him down yet though.

The cake is cut. Schwartz puts icing on Katie’s nose. Thank God they didn’t do that smushing the cake in each other’s faces thing. I hate that, and once saw a bride run to the bathroom in tears after the jackass she married did that to her. Although overall, it was the worst wedding I ever attended. Her father officiated, and forgot what state the wedding was in during his speech. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but looking back, I was sure it was a sign. The room was adjacent to a bar where there was a football game on TV, so every time the people at the bar made noise, we heard it. Because there was no music to drown it out. And it was a cash bar. Not even one “free” drink. And the wine was served in what I would call a juice glass, aka tiny. It was also the day after Christmas. I’ll stop now, since I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. Scheana has barely seen Shay since the ceremony, and wonders what’s up. Lisa talks to Tom about Schwartz being “the face” of the new bar. She says he’d do a great job as a front man, and Tom could deal with what she does. She thinks they should call it Tom Tom, but doesn’t know if that will be a good idea when she’s sober. Schwartz joins them, and Lisa tells him about the new property, and how she and Ken want Tom to be involved, as well as for him to be the face.

Commercial break with important information. Southern Charm starts again next Monday, April 3.

Schwartz asks if Lisa is serious. He’s concerned that if it fails, it will be on them. In his interview, Tom says one whiff of responsibility and Schwartz runs. Lisa says almost the same thing, that he’s allergic to commitment. Since he already made a big one today, she says she’ll talk to him on Monday. Tom asks if Schwartz is busy in three months, and if not, why not open up a new bar with Lisa Vanderpump? Schwartz says he realizes that he’s over-thinking it, and Tom agrees.

Stassi asks if Ariana still thinks she’s annoying. In her interview, Stassi says she likes Ariana (why, I’m not sure), and it hurts her feelings when Ariana is mean to her. She asks Ariana if she’s closing herself off. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t have to be friends with Stassi. She tells Stassi that she’s doing the best that she can. She suddenly starts crying, saying she’s trying not to be a 30 year old bartender who’s doing nothing. Stassi says that’s not who she is, and that she shouldn’t feel sad about feeling sad. It’s okay to have emotions. Stassi tells her that nobody is great all the time, and you’re not a human being if you’re not sad sometimes. They manage to connect somewhat, and in her interview, Ariana has to admit that Stassi isn’t a monster.

More dancing! And Tom has another surprise. He’s brought his trumpet. Oh, yay, drunk trumpet playing. The sax player asks Tom not to play in his ear. Everyone is all happy and buzzed, and Shay finally shows up. Schwartz says that Jax and Tom are like family. He’d take a bullet for them. Maybe in the leg. Stassi wonders what it’s like to have someone love you that much. Katie says it’s amazing, and there’s someone out there for her. The Three Stooges Jax, Tom, and Schwartz talk about what great friends they are. Geez, without Kristen putting the boxing gloves on, weddings are pretty boring in La La Land. Kristen does announce that she’s not ovulating though.

Giggy and Harrison! Lisa signs the marriage certificate. Schwartz says it’s official now, and Lisa tells them, off you go. Katie says they’re very committed, and it would be way too easy to make a joke here. Lisa says thank God it’s over, and Ken gives her props for her officiating.

Three months later. Scheana gets together with Lisa at Villa Rosa. Scheana tells her that she’s found out some things about Shay recently. He goes MIA and doesn’t answer her calls. She says he hasn’t been at the apartment once in two weeks. Everything is not rainbows and sunshine like she’s been telling people. He’s with his parents, and Lisa says it’s been bullsh*t since she found out about Shay taking pills. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks Scheana knew in her gut that there was a problem, but didn’t want to admit it. Scheana tells Lisa that Shay has been taking Adderall for months. One of her friends had pulled her aside and let her know he’d been scoring pills, but saying he was just the middleman. She started checking his emails, and discovered that the bank account had been cleaned out. She says she can’t picture her life without him, but can’t picture it moving forward. Lisa asks if they connect at all, even in bed, and Scheana shakes her head. Lisa tells her that she’s young enough to start again. Scheana says they were talking about starting a family, but Lisa says you can’t start a family with someone who isn’t there. Scheana is going to meet with a lawyer because she’s done. She wants Shay to be able to look her in the eye and say he’s not doing drugs.

Scheana waits for Shay at the apartment. He asks what’s up, and she notices he’s gotten his ears pierced. She wants to know why he didn’t come home. He says that he wanted to figure some things out, not involving anyone else. He says he loves her, but she doesn’t listen, and now he got her attention. He wants to be happy, but can’t do it without her. She says the relationship isn’t good, and he says he’s been labeled a druggie, and no one treats him with respect. She asks if he’s on drugs, and he tells her no. He complains that she doesn’t treat him with respect either. She tells him that she talked to Lisa, and he says he has his own mother, and that Lisa should talk to her own kids. He says Scheana isn’t taking care of him the way she should, but she says he’s never home. He talks about the studio, and how productive things are there, and she wonders how they’re up all night without drugs. She asks about the bank account, and he insists he’s just buying music stuff. In her interview, she says she may never know the truth, but this isn’t the man she married. She tells him this really needs to be done, and she’s meeting with a lawyer. She says divorce isn’t easy, and wasn’t what she wanted. They both start crying, and she says he knows she’s right. He nods, and she tells him to get his stuff. In her interview, she says she’d planned on spending the rest of her life with him, growing old and having kids with him, and all she knows is that they’re done. Shay packs. The door closes behind him. This is really kind of sad.

Next time, the reunion, and the return of Lala. Godzilla with a cat eye.

🎉 And at another wedding on New Year’s Eve, 2010…

Giggy&amp;GrandmaWrinkles

March 7, 2017 – Olivia-J Recreates Duke, Candace Nails Her Mark, Erika Goes Home, a Little LA & Upcoming Shows

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane tells Lulu they don’t want to overplay their hand. Nina’s absence at the hearing will speak volumes.

Nora tells Valentin that she wouldn’t be a good lawyer if she misrepresented his chances. She asks if he and Nina could put aside their personal differences for Charlotte’s sake.

At Crimson, Laura tells Nina that she has nothing against her; they have a lot in common. She’s lost years of her life too. Nina asks why she’s there, and Laura says she thinks she knows a way they can both get what they want.

Jordan comes to the hospital and asks where Julian is.

Julian tells Anna that Olivia-J wants GH, and passes out. Andre and Jordan come in. Anna tells them that Olivia is alive, and did this to Julian. Jordan says she promises they’ll get to the bottom of it, but let them do their job. Anna says Olivia is in the hospital somewhere, and they can’t let her escape.

Griff wakes up strapped to a table. Olivia says she knew that bump on the head wouldn’t keep him down long; he’s just like his father. She tells him that she’d explain if there was time, but they’ve been found out. He says he knows who she is, and she tells him that she’s Olivia Jerome, the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. Great.

Diane tells Lulu that she brought the social worker’s report, and it will present the kind of parents they’ll be for Charlotte. Lulu tells Dante what a great dad he is. She wonders what’s holding up Laura.

Laura says it’s clear that Nina and Charlotte love each other. Nina says if Valentin gets custody, that’s not a problem. Laura says she heard they were having issues; Maxie texted her. Laura thinks Nina is questioning what she knows about Valentin.

Nora asks Valentin if they have Nina’s support. He says she’s accepted certain truths about his life, but is becoming increasingly uneasy with them. Nora says that it’s better that Nina not be there at the beginning, rather than disappearing later, and Valentin says he told her not to come unless she’s in it for the long haul. Nora says where she comes from, that’s called an old tomato ultimatum, and never ends well.

Lucas talks to Alexis about Sam. She can’t believe that she came so close to losing Sam and Scout, and that she’d almost started to believe Julian. Lucas is shocked that Olivia is back. Alexis hopes that she’s far away. Valerie comes out of the elevator, and asks them to come with her.

Julian says Fred Gray botched it. Jordan asks if Gray was working with Olivia-J, but Julian says he’s the one who brokered the deal. Anna wonders why Olivia would come back to GH. Jullian tells her that Olivia wants what’s underneath it.

Griff asks where he is. Olivia-J says they don’t have time for questions, but they’re under the hospital, and he’s as exhausting as Robin. He asks where Robin is, and Olivia says she’s safe. She marvels at his resemblance to Duke, and asks if Duke ever talked about her. He tells her that he never met his father, and found out about him through Anna, and Olivia says her name is not to be spoken. She lights a candle, and asks if he feels something. She says it must be hard to work here with his father’s soul locked in the walls. Griff says his father’s soul is at peace. Olivia says she heard him cry out for vengeance and justice, but he got none of those things. His soul is locked in GH’s walls. He won’t be free of this mortal coil unless she helps him to get a new life. He needs a vessel to return to, and because of Griff, he has one.

Valentin tells Nora that Nina is passionate and compulsive. She’s angry with him, and not without reason. He doesn’t want her to do something impulsive at the hearing, and says she should stay at the office. Nora says they can work with that, and spins it to make Nina a role model. He says Nora really is the best, but Nora says she’d feel better if Nina was beside him in court.

Nina says that Laura knows nothing about Valentin, her, or their marriage, and not to disrespect her in her office. Laura says she knows about the Cassadines, but Nina says that Valentin didn’t grow up with them. Laura says maybe it’s genetic, and they all use secrets as currency. She asks if Valentin left Nina in the dark about something, and Nina says it’s none of her business. Laura says maybe things will work out or maybe one day Nina will wonder who’s she’s sleeping next to. If they split up, she’ll never see Charlotte again. If Lulu gets custody, she’ll make sure Nina is in Charlotte’s life. Nina asks what she has to do in return.

Griff says Olivia-J is insane, and Olivia says she’s tired of hearing that. He says Duke is dead, and she can’t bring him back. She insists that she can bring back the love of her life. She lights a candle, and says when the flame goes out, Duke has returned. Griff says he knows she loved him, and it’s hard to accept. She wants him to drink some forgetfulness cleansing tea. She says some call it a metaphor, but they need to cleanse his body like a factory reset, so Duke’s soul can return. He says he’s not drinking it. She puts a funnel in his mouth. I have to laugh because it all looks so silly.

Anna asks Julian what he means about underneath the hospital. Andre says there’s a chance he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He asks if Olivia-J was ever a psyche patient, and Anna says yes, about a thousand times. Andre thinks her file might be of use, and asks Jordan to confer. He tells Anna she’s in no position to be playing super spy. She tells him that she’s the most qualified, and he says she’s also the most vulnerable because of being on blood thinners. Jordan says Olivia won’t get away. Anna says she doesn’t answer to Jordan, and Andre asks her not to do anything reckless.

Olivia-J tells Griff to relax. She says he’s a good son, giving his father a second chance to live. Duke would be proud. She tells him it will be over before he knows it, and takes out a scalpel.

Valerie tells Alexis that there’s a threat. Anna joins them, and tells her about Julian being attacked by Olivia-J, and that they think she’s still in the hospital. Alexis stomps off to find Julian. Anna tells Lucas about how Olivia wants what’s underneath the hospital. He tells her Tony was blackmailed into working in Helena’s lab under the hospital, but he figured the fire destroyed the lab. Anna deputizes him (sort of), and says Olivia wants Helena’s lab.

Valentin comes into the courtroom, and Diane tells Lulu to focus. Nora tells Valentin to stay calm and stable. Diane is a master at innuendo and rumor, and passing it off as fact. She tells him not to take the bait when she slings dirt. Diane tells Lulu to let Nina’s absence to speak for itself.

Laura tells Nina that neither Lulu or Valentin seem to be more qualified than the other. Nina says that Charlotte loves Valentin, and Lulu scares her. Laura asks her to testify that her marriage is a sham. Nina says it might be shaky right now, but her marriage is real. Laura says they’re already fighting, and asks if Nina is confident that their marriage can withstand Valentin getting Charlotte and not needing her anymore. Nina says that Laura is playing with her feelings. Laura admits she is, but nothing she’s said is a lie. Nina says Valentin has done nothing to hurt her, and Laura wants her to stab him in the back. Laura says she’s in control, not him. She can testify on his behalf or tell the truth and still keep Charlotte in her life. She asks Nina to think about it for Charlotte’s sake, and hopes she sees Nina in court.

Alexis bursts into Julian’s room.

Andre looks over Olivia-J’s hospital files. He says she was sent to Ferncliff after her dead brother tried to kill her. She was briefly in a coma, and reverted to a childlike state when she woke up. According to the notes, she believed she was a seven or eight-year-old. Andre says it can be a psychosis that’s a response to an emotional trauma where the mind retreats from reality. The person can’t process particular pain or loss, and latches onto a fantasy.

Anna goes to the hospital basement. She sees Olivia-J’s fingerprints by the secret door and opens it. Olivia drips Griff’s blood onto the candle flame. She talks to Duke, saying she’s prepared a vessel for him, and he has to choose to live again. The door opens, but it’s not Duke, it’s Anna.

Laura gets to the court just in time. Lou Judge Rawles asks for opening statements. Lulu goes first. Blah-blah-blah daughter I didn’t know about blah-blah feelings blah-blah a mother’s connection. Zzzzzzzz…. Wake me when it’s Valentin’s turn. Lulu says she can offer Charlotte a stable home and a brother who adores her (really? I don’t think they’ve been in the same vicinity more than twice), and a loving father. She asks for full custody.

Anna says, so she is alive. Olivia-J says it wouldn’t be a reunion for her and Duke without Anna crashing the party. Olivia holds up the scalpel, and says Duke is coming back. She’s found a body to house his soul, and unless Anna wants them both to be lost, she’ll put the gun down.

Alexis says if Julian hadn’t been such a tool, her granddaughter wouldn’t have been born in the cold. Julian gets sappy about having a new grandchild, but Alexis says he’s not going anywhere near her.

Anna puts down the gun. She tells Olivia-J not to hurt Griff, but Olivia says don’t tell her what to do. They struggle over the scalpel. Of course it has to be a scalpel.

Nina looks at the picture from Charlotte.

Valentin talks about how neither he nor Lulu were willing participants in the embryo implantation, but when he found out he had a child brewing, he found a surrogate. He was in the delivery room when Charlotte was born, and was with her for all her firsts. He’s already established that Charlotte knows and loves him, and he’s been the one constant in her life. He says Lulu is attached to idea of Charlotte in the abstract “my daughter,” but doesn’t know her as a person. She’s not a possession. She’s a beautiful little girl who needs stability and constancy. This is Charlotte’s life and childhood, and her needs are more important than his or the Falconaris’.

Anna and Olivia-J struggle over the scalpel.

Valerie says everyone is accounted for except Griff. Jordan says he’s Duke’s son.

More struggle. Anna tells Olivia-J to stop before someone gets hurt. Olivia says that Duke is coming for her, not Anna, and she’s going to make sure she’s dead this time. She throws Anna down, but Anna kicks her. Olivia slashes at Anna with the scalpel, and one or both of them flash back to when they were younger. (And so was I – sob!) Olivia tells Anna that she’s bleeding, and she is. A lot.

Diane presents the social worker’s report, and the judge wants a quick break to read it. Nora also has affidavits for her. Lulu says she almost believed Valentin’s statement. Diane tells her to focus on what they’re presenting; any character witness can swing things either way. Nina walks in.

Alexis asks Julian if it was his idea for Olivia-J to be her sponsor. Lucas comes in, and Julian says it wasn’t like that, and he has a lot to tell her. She tells him to save it; she’s done with him. She’s going home to throw the safe deposit key in the trash.

The candle goes out, and Griff wakes up with a start, startling me. Olivia whacks Anna a good one, and she’s out. Griff breaks the straps like he’s the Hulk.

Jordan wants the hospital swept. She goes to Julian’s room and says they think Olivia-J is targeting Griff. She asks Julian about the basement, and he says that Olivia has Anna.

Olivia-J is about to shoot Anna when Griff appears. Olivia asks, could it be? and Griff says, it’s him – Duke.  I gotta say, Griff looks super-hot, and I would swear he was really Duke come back from the dead if I didn’t think he was just trying to get the better of Olivia. Or is Duke really back? There were vampires in Port Charles at one time…

Tomorrow, Carly threatens Nelle, Nina tells the truth, and Olivia-J tells Griff that Anna has to die.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hannah tells the desk sergeant that her daughter is Candace Young, and the sergeant asks her to wait there.

Rookie tells Justin he’s sorry for shooting at Jeffrey. Justin says they were just goofing around. Rookie says it looked like Jeffrey had gotten the best of him, and didn’t know Jeffrey was his friend. Justin insists Jeffrey isn’t his friend confusing all of us. Justin says he’ll squelch the report, so Rookie doesn’t get in trouble. The desk sergeant comes to get Justin, who apparently runs the police department.

Justin approaches Hannah. He asks if she knows where Candace is. She says she does, and he asks where. She asks how Candace is going to be arrested. Justin asks if she has weapons. Hannah doesn’t think so, and he says they’ll just ask her to come with them. She says she has Candace’s son, her grandson, and doesn’t want him to see her get arrested. Justin says they’ll do their best, and asks if Hannah can entice her outside. Hannah says she’ll try, but she wants to be sure. Justin promises they’ll wait for her to come outside to take her into custody. Hannah gives him the hotel and room number. She asks if he can wait until Quincy Jr. is on the school bus. He asks who she is to Candace, and Hannah tells him that she’s Candace’s mother. He asks if she knows how Quincy Maxwell died. She says she doesn’t, and Justin says he was stabbed over 40 times. Hannah tells him to look up Quincy’s record. Justin asks about Quincy and Candace’s relationship. Hannah says he was violent, and if she did anything, it was probably in self-defense. Hannah starts to get defensive herself.

Justin says there had to be more than one assailant. The medical examiner thinks there might have been a man involved, and he asks if Hannah can think of anyone. Hannah says she can’t, and Justin gives her his card. He says they don’t even have a warrant yet, so they’ll be waiting for her call. He tells her she did the right thing.

After Hannah leaves, Justin calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey doesn’t answer.

Charles tells Candace that he doesn’t know if he really wants the presidency. She says it’s POTUS, and asks if he knows how many men and women have dreamt of that. He says it can be stifling, and the bubble is small. He grew up in Detroit by way of Tennessee, and it’s debilitating. He loves politics, but not the Whitehouse. Not without his wife, raising his kids alone. He says he’s a good guy, and Candace says her chief-of-staff will hook him up.

Charles says he’s going to be president, and can’t sleep with a woman he just met. Candace says he’s single and they like each other, so what’s up with that? He repeats that he can’t. She asks if it’s the bubble or his wife. He says he was with his wife for fifteen years and doesn’t know how to do this. He says Candace seems bored, and she asks if he likes strong women. He says he does, and calls her beautiful, but he can’t do this. Candace says what if she told him she wasn’t interested in ever letting anyone know? He says he’s heard that before, and then it’s used against you. She asks what about her reputation, and he asks how he would ruin it. She says she’s worked for everything she has, and wouldn’t want to waste it. She wants people to know she worked to get where she is, so she’s not interested in ever letting this moment be known. He asks if she promises. She does, and he says he finds her impossible to resist. She says most men do.

She tells him to stop thinking and just be Charles for an hour or two. They start to make out. She leads him to the bed. Where there’s a bunch of crap. You might want to clean that off. They get busy in the middle of all the papers and books and stuff. Ow!

Jeffrey reads the texts from Justin, telling him how the police think more than one person was involved in Quincy’s murder. Veronica asks if she needs to take the phone away, and tells him to get in the room. He goes in and sits on the bed. Melissa comes out in lingerie. Jeffrey says that does nothing for him and she says it was Veronica’s idea.

Candace and Charles bask in the afterglow. Jeffrey leaves a message for Candace to call him back.

Melissa asks Jeffrey what’s going on; he seems bothered. He says she’s why he’s bothered, and she asks what’s really going on. She can tell there’s something else. He says he got in a fight. She asks if it was bad, and he asks if she’s acting like she cares. She says she’s not acting, but forget it. She asks if the officer outside was the lover who pissed him off, and by the body language, it seemed like something casual between them. He says yes, Justin is his lover and they just had sex and it was good. He goes on about it, but Melissa is unfazed. Jeffrey continues with TMI, and she rolls her eyes.

Veronica walks in and asks, what happened then? She heard him telling his story, so finish. Melissa tries to intervene, but Veronica says she’s not talking to her; she wants to know how low Jeffrey can go. She tells him, you work, Miss Thing, and he says she’s been drinking. She brings up Jeffrey testifying, and tells Melissa that he’s done all kinds of things to her, including putting a knife in her chest. She says he doesn’t understand she’ll always be here. She doesn’t know what was going on between him and Officer Too Friendly, but this is his future.

Melissa says if Jeffrey wants to be with a man, he should. Veronica starts laughing. She says Melissa is bought and paid for, and it’s not to think. She tells Jeffrey not to see that man again. He says he’s done, and she needs to let this go. He tells her to go to bed and sleep it off. She says she’s not afraid of him, and he calls her sick. She says she’s not trying to hurt him: she’s trying to make his life better. He says, by locking him up? She begs him to try a few more times. She’s giving him freedom, and he needs to honor it. She says enough disgusting talk, and asks Melissa what she thinks. Melissa says she doesn’t think. Veronica tells Jeffrey to enjoy his future wife.

Melissa apologizes to Jeffrey. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he tells her move. She says she’s sorry for everything, and for him being involved, and starts to cry. She says Veronica should be asleep by now, and he can leave; she’ll cover for him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want her to do anything for him ever. Melissa says it’s wrong the way Veronica is treating him and holding her father over her head. She has Melissa the way she has Jeffrey. Her father worked hard his whole life, and she thought she could help. It seemed like a way out, but it’s deeper in. Jeffrey says he can’t go to jail.

She asks what he did, and he says murdered someone. She says with Veronica as a mother, she’s surprised he’s not a serial killer. She realizes he’s telling the truth, and he says she should be afraid of him. She says death doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea, and asks why he did it. He says he was being pushed. She asks if he’s being pushed now. He says yes, and he snapped. Melissa says she just needs enough money to take care of her dad. Veronica will be asleep on the couch soon. He says he’s not doing anything to his mom, and Melissa says she just meant if he wanted to see his friend, but he has to be back by 4 am, since she comes upstairs like clockwork. She tells Jeffrey good-night.

Oscar calls Jim. He has Wyatt’s address, and Jim says they used to own the building. Oscar says it will be hard to find out where the money is offshore, but he’s working on it. Jim is impressed. Jim calls George and says he’ll help him trap Candace in exchange for one thing. George says he’ll give him all the photos. Jim says that If he does this, he wants it over.

Jim looks outside and calls to Kathryn. He asks if Hannah has Amanda’s car. Kathryn says she gave it to her. Jim wonders what’s going on with the two of them.

Kathryn goes out to the car. Hannah tells her that she needs a criminal lawyer. Kathryn asks what she’s done now, but Hannah says it’s for her son and daughter. Kathryn says that Hannah knows how much she hates Candace, but Hannah says that Candace is still her daughter, and the favor is for her. Kathryn asks what Benny has to do with it, but Hannah says she can’t say. She asks if Kathryn will help her. Kathryn says she’ll make some calls, but as much as she hates the bitch, Veronica is the best. Hannah says that Veronica is her friend, and Kathryn is like, whatever you say. She tells Hannah that she’ll call Marty in the morning. Hannah thanks her, and says she has to get back.

Charles and Candace bask in more afterglow. They have pillow talk, and he asks how many men she’s been with. She says the only thing that matters is who she’s with at the time, but she used to see a lot of men. He asks what’s changed. She tells him that she’s getting older and wants to settle down. He asks for her story. She asks what’s his story, and he tells her that he’s running for president. She says most stories are more complicated, and he says the reality is that she can’t know. She asks why. Charles tells her that he wants to be president, he just met her, and they end up in bed. His wife would never have done this, since she was conservative. Candace thinks he’s a wannabe freak, and maybe his wife was too. He wonders if he said anything wrong, and she says no problem. He tells her that it would hurt a lot of people if this came out, and that he can’t have this come out. She picks up her phone and says she can.

Meanwhile, David and Erica are going at it. Erica sees War in the doorway.

Next time, the finale – Jim wants a night with Candace, Hannah asks Benny what he did, and Candace tells Charles that he messed with the wrong female.

Important information. If Loving You is Wrong starts its new season on Tuesday, March 21st, at 9 pm.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! Schnooky! LisaV tells Ken that if she was Kyle, she’d be more pissed off at LisaR than Eden. She tells him about how LisaR called Kyle an enabler. He thinks she just says whatever pops into her head. I think he’s right. I have to mention, I’ve been thinking about Ken all week, and how emotional he got over the disgusting dog meat trade. Being British, he’s not the type to normally show his feelings, and I thought it took a very strong man to reveal that to the world. My husband bought something from Amazon made in China the other day, and I almost popped him in the nose.

Kyle meets Dorit for lunch. Erika meets Eileen for lunch in another location. Erika says she’s going to visit her mom in Georgia, and that her mom is in a play. She tells Eileen that her mother has had a resurgence, and Eileen calls it cute. Let’s not diminish another woman’s accomplishments or anything. Bleh. I’m liking Eileen less as this show goes on.

Kyle tells Dorit about an event happening at her store. They have some kind of drink debuting, and The Fat Jewish is going to help with the promotion. Dorit says that Kim was a rock star last night, and we flash back to her basically telling LisaR off.

In her interview, Eileen says LisaR can often get in trouble for what she says, but she’d rather deal with someone like her. She seems to think this falls under honesty, although many of the Wives have a skewed view of what that is. News flash. It doesn’t mean just saying whatever floats through your brain.

LisaR thinks that she and Kim had a moment of release and need to move on now. We flash back to them hugging it out, and Lisa thanking Kim for being open. Lisa says if you hang onto resentment and anger, it only poisons you. She talks some nonsense about positive energy.

Dorit says when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over, it’s hard to get past it. Dr. Phil calls this stepping on your foot. You can’t forgive someone for stepping on your foot if they’re still stepping on it. She says LisaR makes you think you can trust her, but you blink, and then you can’t. She says Kim and LisaR have been able to work things out – for now – but wonders how many times it’s going to happen. She gives Eden some leeway for being influenced by her relationship with her own sister.

Kyle meets with The Fat Jewish. She asks him to call LisaR out on saying she’s sick, but showing shoe shopping on her Instagram. He calls her, and she says she has the stomach flu. He says she was shopping earlier, but she says the doctor was next to Sak’s. Eden arrives with her friend, Dru.

Dorit trips out of the limo, literally, and Eileen and Camille arrive together. The event is in full swing, and Erika is drinking wine out of the bottle with a straw. LisaV wonders why Kyle is calling a Jew fat, and Kyle has to explain. She introduces The Fat Jewish to everyone. Erika gushes over some jeans. The Fat Jewish takes his shirt off and gives Kyle a lap dance. PK tells LisaV that Ken has been giving him a hard time all night. Erika compliments Dorit’s haircut, and Dorit says it’s the first compliment she’s ever gotten from her. Erika says it’s not, so we flash back and she’s correct. Dorit wonders why Erika seems to have a wall up.

LisaV talks about the trip to Hong Kong she’s taking to stop the dog meat trade. Kyle is coming along, because Ken can’t go, and suddenly, everyone else is coming too. In her interview, Lisa says why not invite The Fat Jewish as well.

Commercial break why do they advertise next week’s “whole new episode,” when we’re not done watching this week’s yet?

LisaV instructs her housekeeper about the different dressings she’s made for a lunch she’s having for Dorit, Erika and Kyle. They’re trying out a new wine for the restaurant and she wants to do it right. Dorit hugs Erika for way too long, and even I get uncomfortable. Kyle arrives, and announces that her sister Kim is a grandmother. She says there was quite a crowd at the birth. Lisa says she has a bone to pick with Erika, who invited Eileen to Hong Kong. In her interview, Lisa says the last time they went away, it was a bloody nightmare. She does think it’s a good idea for both LisaR and Eileen to promote the cause though, because they have a few dozen followers on social media. They agree that Eileen is a nice person, but Dorit says she wouldn’t trust her with her innermost secrets. Erika thinks she should only trust PK with those. Erika says she does have a couple of close friends, but she never wanted to be as trusting as her mother. She says she watches and measures when it comes to herself, although that doesn’t mean she’s not sympathetic or empathetic with other people. Dorit says she’s hard to read, and she’s trusting until someone gives her a reason not to be. In her interview, Kyle says she thinks she understands. Erika is guarded because people have judged her. Dorit says it makes her hard to read, and Erika says she’s a different animal.

Erika’s makeup artists, Clyde and Preston, accompany her in the private jet to Atlanta. She says she’s a Southern girl, and she’ll always be a tomboy too. She’s capable of both camping and glamming.

Kyle brings a family cradle to Kim for the new baby. Kim shows her pictures. Kim says it was the most amazing experience of her life. Kyle tells Kim about the trip to Hong Kong. Kim still isn’t sure about the experience at Kyle’s party. She says LisaR is always like, I made a mistake, and Kyle does an imitation of her saying, “own it.” Kim says she doesn’t have the energy to expel for these people, and I relate.

Erika rents a car and heads to her grandparents’ house. Her mom’s fiancé, Chip, greets them. She says it’s great and emotional at the same time. They look at family photos. She talks about how her grandparents always came to the rescue when her mother needed help, and her grandfather was the only father she ever knew. She tells Preston and Clyde about her grandmother’s battle with Alzheimer’s, and it sounds dreadful. She used to speak to her grandmother every day, and when the phone calls stopped, that was the hardest part. She says it was a marker that the woman she knew was no longer, and to see someone so vibrant and strong slip away is inhumane.

Erika’s mom, wearing a Pat the Puss T-shirt, gets home, and we see where Erika got her good looks from. In her interview, Erika tells us that her mother was a piano teacher, but Erika stunk at piano, so she became a singer and dancer. Her mother was 18 when she had Erika, and did the best she could. Erika says she was never cut any breaks, but her mother loved her and wasn’t a bullsh*tter. She says it was like throwing a kid in a pool to learn to swim, but she didn’t drown. Her mom talks about the play. She thinks it’s good to be involved in something like theater, because it keeps her going and alert. Erika says it’s important to be creative and continue to express herself. Thank God she didn’t say it was cute.

Giggy! Harrison! Ken! LIsaV and Ken go to the dog rescue. Lisa is so excited, she slides down the bannister. She wants to make the rescue center like a lifestyle shop. She says there’s going to be a spa where Vanderpups can get the best blow job in Hollywood. Ha-ha! That LisaV, she’s a real card.

LisaR comes by. Giggy is too precious for words with his little bald behind and pom-pom paws. LisaR says she’s still not 100% well. LisaV explains that they started Vanderpump Pets as a company, but then they realized what was happening in China, so they expanded operations and are also making a documentary. She tells LIsaR they need someone on all fours, and asks her if she’d like to come along to Hong Kong, and put the Dubai trip behind them. In her interview, she says that she wants to mend fences, but isn’t going to forget what happened. It’s not a grudge; it’s being smart. I’m totally on board. That LisaV, she’s also very wise. LisaR is glad to hear it. She’s moved on, but hearing this from LisaV is like getting a bonus check. LisaV asks for LisaR’s feather eyelashes as some kind of commitment, but in her interview, she says she wants LisaR to leave with bald eyes. LisaR hands her lashes over, and in her interview, LisaV says maybe she can manipulate LisaR, and wonders if she’ll carry the bags.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of New York starts its new season on April 5th, Wednesday, at 9 pm.

In the morning, Erika and her mom go to the cemetery. They take a golf cart to go in. Her mother says she has a fear of being buried and wants cremation. In her interview, Erika says she was closer to her grandmother. I hate to say this, but this looks like a pet cemetery. The headstones are like flattish rocks and it’s in the middle of a forest. I don’t see any other graves around either. What’s going on with this??? They put flowers by the stones, and sit to talk. Erika says she didn’t want to cry today, and her mom says she didn’t cry as a kid. Erika says she was treated like an adult a lot, but she knows her mom was under a lot of pressure. Her mom says it made her a tough old bird (geez, how old is Erika? 40?), and Erika says she gets accused of being cold. She has little patience for crybabies and people who need a lot of hand-holding. I can understand where she’s coming from. I’m not unsympathetic either, but when someone is whining about the same problem they were whining about five years ago, I tend to think they don’t really want to resolve the problem, and start to inch away. Erika’s mom says she’s the sweetest, and Erika appreciates her feelings being validated. Her mom tells Erika that she’s been good to the family, and her grandparents would be proud. We end with a hug.

Next time, Hong Kong phooey, the girls discourage Eden sleeping with someone she doesn’t know, LisaR confronts Dorit, and Erika calls Dorit on her bs. Sounds like it’s not going to be a great trip for Dorit.

A Few Randoms

🔫 Imposters – Uma Thurman is the best! Anything with her in it is always worth watching.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here, March 8th at 9 pm. How they got where? I looked at the blurb in the digital guide and it looks like a retrospective of previous seasons.

💃 Little Women: LA highlights – Matt told Briana he wanted to train to be an MMA fighter, and she asked if he wants to fight people. When he replied, “Well, they don’t fight animals,” I nearly died laughing. Terra gathered the girls to explain that she’s not dying, and until a doctor tells her to stop doing Dancing with the Stars, she’s sticking with it. Christy signed up to have neck surgery, and Elena and Tonya went to a spa for some kind of freezing treatment that’s supposed to help with inflammation. Briana is also dealing with postpartum depression, and Jasmine begged her to get some help before it gets worse.

February 22, 2017 – The Jig is Up for Sam, Star Talk & Lots of Randomness

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly keeps trying to get ahold of Nelle, and leaving messages. Sonny asks who she’s talking to.

Michael wraps Nelle in a towel. He says the fire will do the rest. They almost kiss, and she says she can’t.

Ava calls for the guard, saying she wants to see the commissioner. She’s going to sue everyone because of a gross miscarriage of justice. I wonder how I can get a denim prison shirt like she’s wearing. Orange will never be the new black, but that shirt looks amazing, and apparently the Port Charles jail is fashion forward. Julian shows up. Ava asks if he’s there to get her out. I thought she didn’t want to be out?

Tracy is impatient, and Hayden says to let her work. Tracy asks if the Quartermaines will be able to save the hospital or not.

Jason sees Monica at the hospital, and tells her about how he was supposed to meet Sam there. He says the wires must have gotten crossed because there wasn’t an appointment listed. Monica thinks that’s odd. Jason says she’s probably on her way back home.

Olivia-J tells Sam about starting over. She notices Sam looking at her keyring, and asks if Sam knows what it says and if the characters mean anything to her.

Julian says he doesn’t like seeing Ava behind bars. She tells him to spring her then; tell them she had nothing to do with the bomb. He says if he could get her out, he would. She says he can tell the police it’s not her on the recording. She tells him that when he was on trial, she did everything she could to make sure he was acquitted. She blackmailed Paul, and this is how he repays her? Julian says he’ll get her out soon.

Olivia-J says the characters obviously struck chord with Sam. Sam says it’s beautiful. She tells Olivia she knows a  little about the Chinese culture, and was married in a Chinese restaurant. (Not the Chinese food pawn remedy shop.) She tells Olivia about the family who owned the restaurant. Olivia says that for those who believe, the symbols can infuse you with power and remind you of who you are against tremendous odds. Sam asks what it means to Olivia. Olivia says it means reincarnation.

Monica tells Jason that Hayden and Tracy are crunching the final numbers. The board meets tomorrow and will decide. She thanks Jason for his contribution, and he says he knows what the hospital means to the family. Monica gives him a blanket, and tells him that Lila knitted it when he was born. She was thrilled, and thought he’d be a blessing, and she was right. Jason thanks her, and they hug.

Hayden tells Tracy that it’s only a quick assessment and needs adjustment. Tracy asks if they can keep the hospital open. Monica pops in, and seconds that. Hayden says she thinks they did it.

Michael tells Nelle that he knows it’s awkward, but he won’t try to kiss her again. She says it can’t happen. He says he knows she has an agreement with a guy, and he can respect it if that’s what she wants, but if it’s her boyfriend’s idea, he’s crazy.

Carly tells Sonny not to worry, and it’s about his surprise. He wants to know what it is, but she says that she’s going to dangle it until she springs it. She says it involves a magic trick to make the whole world disappear. She has errands to run and leaves. Sonny calls Jason. He says they need to talk.

Hayden tells Monica and Tracy that nothing is settled, but they can risk a little celebration. Tracy says the board might still want to sell. She says some are concerned with the hospital’s well-being, but others are greedy bastards – to put it delicately. She says Fred Gray is leading the charge, and she thinks he’s made deals with the developers. She tells them that they don’t have time to prove wrong doing, but they need to make sure they have the necessary number of board members on their side. She tells Hayden that’s her job.

Ava asks Julian when she can expect to go home, and Julian tells her to be patient. She says another night kind of patient, or the next few years will fly by kind of patient? He says he’s left instructions with Alexis. Ava says Alexis hates her, but not as much as she hates Julian, and wants to know how Alexis will get her out. Julian says she’ll know soon, and to trust him. He says Alexis won’t know the instructions until she doesn’t hear from him, puzzling Ava.

Sonny tells Jason about talking to Robin, and that Ava isn’t Julian’s only sister. Jason says they did some digging, but she died in 1990. Sonny wonders if there’s another sister, and Jason suggests that maybe she’s not dead.

Olivia-J tells Sam that reincarnation has a particular meaning in her life. Sam flashes back to talking to Jason about Julian’s family. She asks Olivia what it means.

At Carly’s office, Bobbie talks to Felicia on the phone, and asks if she’s found out anything about Nelle. Carly comes in to get some champagne for the cabin. Since she keeps all the champagne in her office. Bobbie tells her that she was going through mail so that things didn’t get to behind, but now Carly can do it while they chat. Bobbie rests her hand on Nelle’s envelope.

Michael tells Nelle that he knows it’s none of his business, but he wouldn’t have said anything if he thought she was happy. She says she is, but he says she doesn’t seem like it. He says she plays things close to the vest, and she says it’s a defense mechanism. If you don’t give people details, they can’t use them against you; if you don’t share secrets, no one can betray you. Michael says if you keep yourself so closed off, it helps keep away those who will hurt you, but also keeps away the ones who could care about you.

Carly says the mail can wait; she has to get going. Bobbie asks about the latest Ava development. Carly says she wanted to kill Ava, and Bobbie says it does no good for her to throw her life away for that. Carly tells her that Sonny said the same thing. Bobbie says despite her objections in the past, she’s glad they’re back together. Carly tells her about the cabin, but Bobbie says the roads are impassible, so no romantic getaway.

Nelle says Michael means well, but doesn’t know her. She says not everyone is as lucky as he is. He doesn’t know where she got the idea he’s led a charmed life. He says he always had money, but he’s also been betrayed. She says he can get past it because he still has a loving family, but it won’t work out that way for her.

Jason tells Sonny that supposedly Julian killed Olivia-J (also Olivia St. John), shooting her in the back. Sonny says it’s possible she survived. Jason says if she did, there’s a good chance that she killed Morgan.

Ava asks Julian what’s going on, and Julian says it’s too dangerous; he can’t tell her. She asks who’s stopping him, and says that he seems terrified. She begs him to trust her. She might be able to help him even if she can’t help herself. She says they’ve betrayed each other and threatened to kill each other, but those experiences brought them closer. When it really matters, they stand together. Whatever danger he’s in, it affects her too. She asks what the hell is going on.

Olivia-J sneakily takes a picture of Sam in the car with her. She tells Sam that she had a defining moment when she became sober, and left her past behind. It was the epitome of reincarnation. She asks Sam if she’s ever had a defining moment.

Ava tells Julian that she’s the only family he can rely on. He says he wishes he could tell her. She says if their bond means anything, he will. He says okay, but his phone rings. It’s a text message from Olivia-J.

Sam tells Olivia-J that she’s a social drinker, but she knows she doesn’t have a problem, since she easily gave it up when she became pregnant. Olivia says she wasn’t referring specifically to drinking, but a turning point where she thought all was lost, and an opportunity presented itself. Sam asks her to pull over.

Hayden wonders how she’s supposed to convince the board members. Monica says Michael and Laura are on their side. Tracy says even if Hayden’s powers of persuasion aren’t great, they have a reasonable certainty of winning. She tells Monica to get out the bubbly. It’s almost a done deal.

Carly calls the caretaker at the cabin. She hopes Nelle doesn’t try to get off the mountain, but thinks she should be fine. She thanks Bobbie for not trashing her. Bobbie admits to being unfair.

Nelle tells Michael that when she was little, she dreamt of growing up, getting away, and finding someone to love her. But the older she got, the clearer it became that the deck was stacked against her. She made the decision that if she couldn’t have happiness, she’d settle for satisfaction, and she’ll do whatever is necessary to get it. Michael says it sounds like she’s fighting for something less than she deserves. He asks if it’s what she wants, and she says it’s all she’s going to get, and that she doesn’t deserve to be happy. Michael hugs her and says, yes, she does. Playing Michael must be the most boring acting job in the world.

Jason talks to Spinelli on the phone. He tells Sonny no luck yet, but if there’s any trace of Olivia-J on the internet, Spinelli will point them toward it. He talks about the picture of Julian as a kid that they found, and the Chinese characters. Sonny wonders if they’re false leads, and if Jason isn’t seeing what’s in front of him. Maybe it is Ava.

Olivia-J sends Julian the picture of her and Sam in the car. Ava wonders what he’s looking at, but he says he can’t tell her.

Sam tells Olivia-J that she has to go to the bathroom. Olivia suggests going to a gas station, but Sam says she has a friend who lives just over the footbridge. Olivia says she can’t let her do that.

Tracy, Hayden, and Monica toast to the hospital.  Hayden is going to call Finn with the good news. Tracy says to tell her backgammon partner that she scored the biggest win of all. Monica says they all did.

Jason tells Sonny that they need to make the right person pay. Carly walks in. She tells Jason that she heard he doesn’t think Ava planted the bomb. Jason tells her that he wants to be sure before moving on anything; he wants to do some digging, but they’ll be the first to know if he finds anything. After he’s gone, Sonny tells Carly not to keep him in suspense, but she says the surprise has been canceled.

Olivia-J tells Sam that she’ll drive her to the house. Sam says the roads aren’t paved, and if no one is home, she knows where the key is. Sam gets out of the car, and starts walking across the bridge. She begins to call Jason and drops phone. Olivia kicks it, saying that Sam must think she’s stupid and underestimates her, as many have. She says they might as well drop the pretense.

Monica says it’s a good end to lousy day, and she’s going home. Tracy says she’s glad she thought of the solution, and Monica says she didn’t. Hayden tells Tracy that Finn isn’t answering and when she called the hotel, he’d canceled his reservation.

Nelle tells Michael that she’s done awful things. He says he’ll still be there. She says she almost believes it, and he tells her that she should, since he’s a terrible liar. He says that he’s a Corrinthos, Quartermaine, and Spencer, which makes him arrogant and determined, with a tendency to gloat. Nelle says she thinks she’s ready for a new path.  He asks if he’s on that new path.

Bobbie tells Felicia that she almost got caught, and ask if she’s found out anything about Nelle. She says, oh God no, and that’s what she was afraid of.

Sonny asks what the surprise was going to be, and Carly tells him about the cabin. She says they can’t go, since there’s a blizzard. Sonny tells her that they don’t have to leave to block out the world. They have champagne, a fireplace, and each other. They kiss.

Julian tells Ava that he’s sorry. Ava says he was about to talk, gets a mysterious text, and clams up. He says in time he’ll explain. She says she doesn’t know why she thought he’d help, since he’s the reason she’s in there. She’s done with him playing games with her life. She tells him that she should have let him go to prison, and he’s dead to her. He says she has no idea.

Sam says Olivia-J is freaking her out, and to give phone back. She says if Olivia won’t give it to her, to give it to Alexis the next time she sees her. Sam starts to walk across the bridge, and Olivia draws a gun. She says Sam has figured out who she is, and no one else can know.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she doesn’t remember, Gray tells Julian that complications have come up, and Hayden wonders why Finn is still taking the drug.

🌟 Still loving Star, although it’s the kind of show that breeds kids who can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket, yet audition for American Idol. You know the ones I mean. The ones who claim that music is “their whole life” and their parents have told them that they sing like Mariah Carey. And then they open their mouths to sing. Jahil’s (Benjamin Bratt) latest vocal find is a girl he saved from white slavery about five minutes ago, who can suddenly shake, rattle and roll better than J-Lo — and also suddenly speaks perfect English. Although I have to admit, I’m obsessed with the distressed knee-high boots she was wearing. This week, there was also an excellent musical fantasy jailhouse sequence that included Queen Latifah, who is too fabulous for words. The minor characters are exceptional as well. Besides my fondness for Miss Lawrence (who knew he had such lovely acting chops?), one of my favorites is Maggie (Helena Kallianiotes, who was in one of my favorite movies of all time, Kansas City Bomber – 1972), who rules the local strip club like an aging Elizabeth Taylor.

I’m surprised I don’t hear more about this series, or that it hasn’t been slammed for being inappropriate in some way, either by the overprotective or the ultra-PC. Like a favorite dog breed or design of jeans, it’s become a double- edged sword.  I want more people to like it so that it sticks around, but I don’t want it to become so popular that it implodes.

🎭 Another newbie that’s growing on me, with only three episodes under its belt, is Imposters on Bravo. The plot centers around a group of con-artists, at the middle of which is Maddie (Inbar Lavi), who marries rich men, or women, and absconds with their fortunes. While there are a couple of familiar faces (like Brian Benben and Mary Kay Place), most of the cast is relatively fresh. Uma Thurman has just made an appearance, and I can’t wait to see what she stirs up. Maddie is also developing feelings for a man she met on the way to a mark, which doesn’t make her boss too happy. It airs Tuesdays at 10 pm, so it’s a nice break for me between The Haves and the Have Nots, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Bravo is doing well with its scripted shows. There’s an astounding amount of great television now – especially for those of us who remember having only four channels and a sign-off at one am – but the cable is still too damn high.

🍳 BTW, I can’t bring myself to watch My Kitchen Rules, even though I want to. Because, Brandi Glanville. What happened to the show with Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg? Is that gone already? I thought it was a brilliant idea.

🌺 Southern Charm returns on Monday, April 3, 9 pm. I was just thinking about that show, and wondering if it was coming back during my workout. There’s a triceps exercise that always reminds me of Thomas “raising the roof” in his election ad.

🏛 The Real Housewives of Potomac also makes a comeback on Sunday, April 2, 9 pm. So much to look forward to! Kind of sad that I just said that.

July 20, 2016 – GH & NYC Wives vs the Mohegan Sun

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Darby and Dillon bask in the afterglow. Bleh. Kiki sees Darby’s hashtags about their date.

Carly asks Morgan how it’s going. He says the new job is more his speed rather than lugging coffee bags around. He says he has plans with Kiki, but she might not be in the best mood after a run in with Dillon.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that Teddy’s getting better every day. He’s obviously distressed and she asks what’s wrong. He says he thought they were building a relationship, but he found out she applied for a lease on an apartment.

Alexis calls the hospital to see what’s up with Julian. Kristina asks what she’s doing.

Sonny wants to see Julian, but Felix says it’s after hours. He gives Sonny the skinny on Julian’s condition. Sonny thinks the timing is pretty convenient.

Julian talks to himself since he has no one else to talk to. Oh, wait, Carrrlos is there! He says Julian should have killed Alexis while he had the chance and now he has no future. He only has prison to look forward to.

Darby brings up Kiki, but Dillon says they agreed to stay away from that subject. She asks about his job and he says he looks at it like he’s a storyteller. Love her earrings, but it’s highly doubtful she’d be wearing gigantic ones to hit the sheets in.

Carly asks what happened with Kiki and Morgan tells her that Darby was with Dillon. He says Darby isn’t Kiki’s favorite person after she caught Morgan with her, so she was obviously annoyed. He asks about the kidney donor project and Carly says she has a couple of leads. Morgan tells her not to give up because he didn’t and now he’s president of the United States.

Carly sees Kiki outside. She asks about Kiki’s argument with Dillon. She says Kiki told her in the park that she was done with Dillon. Kiki says she is and Carly says she hopes so, because she doesn’t want Morgan’s progress hindered.

Alexis suggests that she and Kristina talk about Parker. She asks Kristina if she’s going to see Parker while she’s in town.

Sonny tells Felix that Julian is staging the whole thing. Meanwhile, Julian chats with Carrrlos, who tells him he took too much of the drug that gave him a heart episode and he’ll be joining Carrrlos soon, but at least that’s one way to get out of jail.

Sabrrrina says this isn’t the way she wanted Michael to find out. Michael says he thought they were finally in a good place and he was thinking about Teddy and their future, but now she wants to run away again.

Dillon has to leave for work. Darby keeps thinking up reasons he should stay, but it’s a no. He says he’s picking up food at the MetroCourt to eat in his office.

Carly says she’s not trying to attack Kiki and she understands if she has problems with Morgan, but she doesn’t want Kiki to lead him on. Kiki says she’s not and she knows how important the first few months out are. Carly leaves and Kiki meets Morgan, who got them a room at the MetroCourt. He says he doesn’t want to wait any longer, but Kiki says she doesn’t know if she’s ready.

Kristina says there’s no point in seeing Parker, since she’s dedicated to her wife. She just wants to put it behind her. Kristina leaves and Alexis looks at her wedding photo, which is creepily in the same place where the dagger was in the cabinet. She flashes back to the wedding.

Felix checks Julian’s vitals. Sonny watches from the doorway.

Carly sees Dillon at the MetroCourt and approaches him. She asks about Kiki, saying it seems like they’re pretty close. She says Morgan is completely invested in Kiki and things might go bad if Dillon continues to pursue her. Not too much meddling.

Kiki says she doesn’t know what the big rush is. Morgan says he never stopped loving her. Kiki talks about the last time they were together and how his medication interfered. She wonders how he’ll react if it happens again. Morgan says he has his emotions under control now. Kiki says things were good until they went bad, and she doesn’t know if she can do it again. He asks if she still loves him.

Kristina goes to Parker’s hotel room. Parker tells her she shouldn’t be there, but Kristina says she’ll just be a minute. OMG – I love her shirt! It’s blue with thin white stripes, and has a crossover neckline. The huge sleeves are the best part though. Parker says it’s Kristina’s closure, so she should say what’s important. Kristina tells her she’s moving on and has met a great guy.

Felix tells Sonny his presence is agitating the patient. Sonny says the patient is a coward who’s afraid of his own shadow, and leaves. Julian says something about “him” being there. I’m guessing Felix thinks he means Sonny, but he’s talking about Carrrlos. Felix tells Julian there’s plenty of security and he’ll be fine. When Felix leaves, Carrrlos returns, popping out from under the bed. That Carrrlos, he’s such a card.

Alexis runs into Sonny at the hospital and says she wasn’t expecting to see him there. He asks if she’s there to visit Julian.

Sabrrrina says the last thing she wants to do is run away. Michael asks why she’s leaving then. She says she doesn’t want to take advantage of him. She wants to give him his space, and if they’re going to date, they shouldn’t be living together. He says he doesn’t want space and everything he needs is right in front of him.

Parker asks if Aaron knows about her. Kristina says yes and no. Parker asks if she left out the part where she’s a woman, which Kristina admits. Parker tells Kristina that her journey is her own and she’ll know who the right one is, whether it’s a man or woman. She tells Kristina she wishes her all good things. Kristina notices Parker isn’t wearing her wedding ring and Parker tells her the marriage is over.

Carly asks Dillon what’s going on between him and Kiki. Darby is suddenly at the table with something Dillon left at her apartment.

Kiki tells Morgan she just wants to take her time. He starts to get agitated, saying he’s always going to be stupid and a screw up. She kisses him and tells him he’s wrong about that. They start making out.

Julian says Carrrlos isn’t real. Carrrlos says what’s real is that he’s going to prison. He says thanks to Julian’s wife, the cops have all the evidence they need. He laughs about how Alexis got Julian to admit he killed both Carrrlos and Duke. He says the world knows who he is now and there’s no going back. Unless…

Sonny tells Alexis that Julian took something to stall the arraignment. He asks why she’s there and she pulls out divorce papers, asking him if he can think of a better time to serve Julian. Sonny says good for her.

Michael tells Sabrrrina he’s not asking for a commitment and the priority is Teddy’s health. He asks if they’re dating and she says yes. They kiss. His phone rings with an ELQ crisis. He says he’ll be back as soon as he can. He asks if he can rip up the application and Sabrrrina tells him she and Teddy aren’t going anywhere.

Kristina tells Parker she feels horrible, but Parker says it has nothing to do with her. She says it was a long time coming. Parker starts to cry and Kristina puts her arm around her.

Morgan and Kiki get to the hotel room and he tells her all systems are go. I guess so, since the next stop is the bed.

Darby and Dillon make out for a second and Carly is like, don’t let me interrupt. Carly leaves, and Darby asks what Carly was questioning him about. Dillon says it was a misunderstanding.

Carly goes behind the bar. Sonny is there and she says she wants to buy him a drink. She says they just dodged a bullet and tells him about her meddling. Sonny tells her she should mind her own business and that Morgan would be mortified if he found out. She says he’s not going to because Darby is with Dillon now.

Morgan focuses on Kiki’s scar and says he did that. Kiki says no, he didn’t, and she remembers almost nothing except his voice and his arms around her. She tells him she loves him and she came back for him. She says the scar is ugly, but a beautiful reminder that they didn’t die. There’s a song part while they do-dee-do-dee-do. I crop some pictures.

Julian tells Carrrlos that he’s not real and to go away. Carrrlos says there’s only one way out, to kill Alexis. Although that doesn’t make much sense, since the police already have the evidence. Julian says he wishes he could go back and re-do it all because he loves Alexis so much.

Sonny says Carly dodged a bullet, but not the one she thinks. He says Morgan would be highly pissed off if he found out, and makes her promise to stay out of it. Carly gets a text from the donor she’s supposed to meet. Sonny says he wanted to run interference, so she didn’t have to be disappointed if things didn’t pan out. She promises not to get her hopes up.

Darby asks about later, but Dillon says he doesn’t know how long he’ll be working and he’ll call later. She leaves and he sees a picture of Kiki on his laptop. Meanwhile, instead of basking in the afterglow, Kiki doesn’t look very happy.

Kristina says she knows what Parker means by being confused. She is too. She says Aaron is a great guy, but she can’t help thinking about Parker. They kiss. A lot. And start taking off their clothes.

Alexis approaches Julian’s bed. He’s sleeping and she tosses the divorce papers onto the bed. Onto him really.

Sabrrrina says she and Teddy are finally getting their happy ending. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Carrrlos. But he’s all cleaned up with his hair back in nice clothes. Ha-ha! Told you he’d never die. I wonder if it’s a twin or something.

Tomorrow, Franco has something for Elizabeth, Lucy asks Scotty what he wants, and Sonny says he’ll help Finn if Finn helps him out.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Mohegan Sun trip! The hotel is kitschy, but cool. I like stuff like that. Niagara Falls, Canada, is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s like something out of the 50s. Surprisingly wisely, Ramona has everyone draw for the rooms. Like pick-a-card. Since she’s the hostess though, she already has her room set up. Dorinda says on a trip, two things are certain, Ramona gets the best room and Carole and Bethenny bunk together.

Jules tells Sonja it’s odd that the creator of the Skinnygirl brand is picking on a real skinny girl. She says she’s never sharing anything personal with Bethenny again, and that for someone who claims to know so much about eating disorders, Bethenny doesn’t know how to treat someone who has one. Good point. I like Bethenny, but sometimes she goes too far.

At dinner, Ramona’s holiday party is rehashed. Bethenny doesn’t want to hold a grudge against Sonja, who she thinks doesn’t mean any harm. We travel down Memory Lane about Sonja’s nonsense. Bethenny claims Sonja has more clarity now that she’s stopped drinking. They discuss the bus trip over. Dorinda was once a step instructor and apparently displayed her talents on the way there. She and Bethenny discuss step and yoga. Bethenny shows off a pose where she’s basically on her head doing the splits in the air. Ramona talks about how no one answers their phone anymore. None of them can get in touch with The Countess.

Next, the girls do a little gambling. Not my thing. I think they’re playing Blackjack, but I think everything looks like Blackjack. The extent of my gambling career is an evening in Atlantic City at the slot machines while waiting for a Barry Manilow concert. Neither one of us wanted to be there. In her interview, Bethenny says when she was broke, she loved to gamble because what’s more money on your credit card? (Well, your credit rating, for one.) But when you’re successful, losing fifty bucks makes you cry. Dorinda says she’s a Catholic gambler – when she gets the money, she’s all excited, but when she loses, she wants to crucify herself.

Ramona and Sonja dance with glow sticks on the patio.

Carole got an email from an agent saying the proposal for the cook book is adorable and marketable. She reads it to Adam. She tells him that it will be about a year before it comes out, if they sell it. She talks about her friends and how no one has “figured it out” yet as far as relationships go, and that they seem to be the most “normal” of the bunch. She points out how everyone razzed them in the beginning. Carole says no matter what, they’ll always have Paris the book. They talk about what might happen if they break up. On a scale of one to ten, Carole says her happiness is an eight. Adam says his is a ten, but Carole doesn’t believe him because he waited for her to go first.

Ramona goes shopping with Sonja. They discuss the trip to Mohegan Sun and Sonja points out that they all got along, which is probably why we saw so little of the trip. She says it means a lot to her that she and Bethenny reconnected. Ramona wants to organize an engagement party for The Countess. Sonja thinks she’s out of her mind. Ramona can’t get ahold of The Countess and wants to text Tom, but Sonja tells her not to. Too late, she already did it. Sonja thinks it was a bad idea and that The Countess might not like it since Ramona and Tom had dated. Ramona suggests Sonja not bring up that they both had relationships with Tom anymore. Throughout this entire scene, Ramona has been wearing a faux fur maxi vest that she was trying on and I can’t help but notice the clerk keeping an eye on her. And rightly so, since she’s been known to walk off with clothes she doesn’t own before. On top of it, she joked about how she could walk out with it. On second thought, I’d be making her take it off unless she pays for it.

Bethenny puts an Elsa-from-Frozen hat on her dog and takes a picture. She and her assistant are packing up some stuff for Brinn, who Bethenny is taking on a ski trip. Bethenny is disappointed that she’s going to have to take it easy because of her medical issues. She’s also concerned about the altitude. Her assistant doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to go at all, but Bethenny says she doesn’t want to disappoint Brinn. She thinks Bethenny is a little bit in denial about being sick.

Ramona and Dorinda meet for lunch. Or dinner. Ramona tells Dorinda she finally got ahold of The Countess and told her they want to do something for her. Dorinda can’t figure out why Ramona would want to be the one to host the party. She mentions that The Countess isn’t too thrilled about her having dated Tom. She says when you’re dating someone, you want to forget anyone else existed in their life. Ramona says The Countess told her everything is cool now. We flash back to their talk when The Countess reamed her out. Dorinda thinks it’s a better idea for her to host, especially since she introduced them.

Jules, who’s wearing a fabulous high-end sweatshirt, is meeting with a potty training specialist. It’s only two grand for a guarantee the kid will learn to use the toilet in a few days. I am not making any of this up and think I might change careers. One of the first things the trainer tells her is to say, “it’s time to go,” rather than asking if they “want to go,” which makes it sound like it’s optional. That makes perfect sense, but not $2000 worth.

The girls are meeting at a restaurant to celebrate The Countess’s engagement. Dorinda conferred with The Countess, who wasn’t comfortable with Ramona throwing a party and preferred that Dorinda organize it. The Countess is late, and Dorinda tells everyone that she thinks now that they can get along, they should take a real trip. She passes out leis to let them know it’s going to be Hawaii. In all my years on this earth, not one of my friends has surprised me with a trip to Hawaii.

Carole shows up, saying she didn’t know she was going to get leid. Ha-ha, groan. They discuss whether The Countess is mad about Tom having dated Sonja and Ramona. It seems to be a split decision. Carole says if anyone deserves to be married, it’s The Countess, as she’s a better woman with a man than without one.

The Countess arrives. In her interview, she says the night is all about her, so she’s going to put the last gathering behind her. Carole tells The Countess that she’s genuinely happy for her and gives her a gift of a heart crystal. The Countess shows off her huge yellow diamond ring that Tom picked out. It’s okay. He proposed during their trip to Vail and The Countess tells them all about it. A toast is made. In her interview, Sonja says she hopes The Countess is sure, since she never thought of Tom as the marrying type.

The Countess says they’re probably going to wait until the new year to get married. In her interview, Sonja says a year from now, The Countess could be engaged to someone else. The Countess passes around a picture of Tom proposing. Who took that? The Countess holds up her glass to make a toast when Ramona interrupts with her own. The Countess tells her to back off and makes her toast.

Next time, a yachting cruise, Bethenny gets a text and wonders if the wedding is off, Ramona wonders how Sonja is going to feel seeing Tom again.

** Interesting information: I was watching The Bravos, and Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm won the Susan Lucci Award. She thanked her son, Whitney Sudler-Smith, for being the creator and producer of the show. I hadn’t known that!

 

July 5, 2016 – GH, Charm Ends, Deck Sails & the Haves Crumble

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden is back at Finn’s cell with his works. He says he can do it himself this time. Finn says he made it through the night because of her.

Spencer is having a 4th of July luncheon with Laura and Doc. Laura wonders why he’s in such good spirits, and he says Nicholas would want him to soldier on. I might add that he’s wearing a gigantic USA flag-patterned Uncle Sam hat.

Nicholas brings Ava to the main villa on Cassadine Island. He tells her they have the entire compound to themselves and no one will find them. He says it’s a shack compared to some of the places the Cassadines own in Russia and shows her a gigantic book with the family history. Ava says she dreamed of being a princess when she was a little girl and she’s a bit jealous. Nicholas tells her not to be; they mostly just look good on paper.

Sam is still in London. She meets Jason at a pub. She checked in with her mother and Monica, and they told her to go ahead and stay.

Ugh! First nuNicholas and now nuMaxie, a brunette no less. Maxie is having lunch with Dillon and suspects he’s having girl trouble. She says it shows like a visible panty line.

Morgan and Kiki are on a picnic. Kiki reveals her bikini top and also her bullet scar, which I’m glad they made a big deal about because I thought it was bug bites. She covers back up, seeing Morgan’s reaction.

Nathan says Dr. Mayes death has been ruled a homicide. The same drug was found in his system as the patients who recently died. Since Elizabeth found the body, he questions her. She tells him Franco showed up after she found Mayes.

Obrecht is going nuts about all of them, mostly her and Franco, being under suspicion. She asks him if he needs an alibi, but he wonders if she’s the one who needs it. Franco thinks maybe they should be more concerned about a murderer walking around who has no motive. Griff says the motive seems obvious.

Morgan puts sun tan lotion on Kiki’s back – as she thinks about kissing Dillon.

A girl named CJ approaches Maxie. Maxie introduces her to Dillon. She’s there for a graphic designer interview. Dillon excuses himself. OMG – CJ is Jessica from One Life to Live. I sat behind her once at Shakespeare in the Park. We were seeing the musical of Two Gentlemen of Verona starring Rosario Dawson and Oscar Issac. Her castmate, Renee Elise Goldsbury, who recently won the Tony for Hamilton, was in it as well. How was that for digression?

Finn starts to feel better and thanks Hayden. Tracy enters because there’s no security whatsoever at the jail. She says she’s the bearer of good news and tells him about Mayes’s murder.

Griff says it seems like an angel of mercy scenario, but Obrecht says Bobbie and Lucas weren’t infirm. He says that blows his theory. Griff points out that Finn was in jail at the time of Mayes’s murder. Obrecht wonders if it could be Griff, but he says the worst thing they can do is start pointing fingers at each other. He leaves and Franco wonders why Obrecht is overly concerned. It flitted through my mind that Obrecht might be the culprit – I could see her killing patients for a higher purpose – but Bobbie and Lucas threw me off there too.

Maxie interviews CJ, going over her resume. They discuss how Nina turned Crimson around and CJ says she’d love to be part of their creative process. She notices Maxie’s engagement ring and Maxie shows CJ Nathan’s picture. Maxie thinks she’s right for Crimson and I think she’s Claudette.

Finn is surprised at Tracy calling Mayes’s murder good news. She says for Finn, it’s spectacular, and points out that he must be off the suspect list. He says that’s not the reason he’s in jail. She says she’ll have a team of lawyers negotiate his release immediately.

Nathan questions Franco. Franco says he’d been in the cafeteria. He heard Elizabeth screaming, and when he got there, Mayes was already dead. Nathan wants the cafeteria receipt, but Franco says he has a barter system with the staff and was there after hours.

Obrecht tells Elizabeth to get back to work .Elizabeth says she is working and Obrecht isn’t her boss anymore. Franco comes to the desk and Elizabeth asks how it went.

Jason tells Sam about what happened at the shed with Hux’s henchman. He says now he has to figure out a new way to find Nicholas.

Laura and Doc leave the table. Laura thanks Doc for examining Spencer on the QT. Doc thinks maybe they should tell him he’s being examined. Nicholas calls Spencer.

Dillon comes back to the table. Maxie hires CJ. This ought to be good. Not too comfortable for Nathan though.

Morgan tells Kiki things will be different now. He can’t party or drink or be too crazy, and he doesn’t know how fun that will be for her.

Finn doesn’t think Tracy can get him off, but she says don’t underestimate ELQ lawyers. She goes to see about his release. Hayden asks how he’s gong to get his medication if he’s not at the hospital. He says he’ll have his supplier reroute it. She offers to continue to help, but he says she’s done enough.

Nathan asks Obrecht for the schedules.

Sam says Ava has to return to his daughters some time, and that Nicholas will have to send for Spencer. She thinks they should retrace their steps, but Jason thinks they should check Cassadine Island. Duh.

Spencer chit-chats with Nicholas. Nicholas tells him to pack one bag when he goes home and be ready to go at any time. Laura overhears him saying “father” and wonders what’s going on. Spencer says he calls his father all the time, calling his voicemail so he can hear Nicholas’s voice.

Nicholas goes to get food and Ava hears a noise.

Sam says Nicholas must know that Cassadine Island would be the first place to look for him. Jason says as far as Nicholas knows, everyone thinks he’s dead. Sam says it’s a fortress, but haven’t they broken in there before?

Maxie asks CJ if she wants to come to the fireworks, but she says she’d rather prepare for the first day at her new job. She leaves and Dillon says CJ seems perfect for the magazine. Maxie suggests she might make a good girlfriend for him. He says he doesn’t want to mix business with pleasure, but Maxie thinks it’s really about Kiki.

Morgan says no matter what, he’ll stay stable, and he wants Kiki to know he’s there for her. They kiss.

Finn gets released. Tracy tells Hayden since Finn thinks she’s a decent human being, she’ll endeavor to do the same. Finn suggests they go eat something, but Tracy says she’s off to work on getting Finn reinstated.

While Nathan is talking to Griff, he gets an emergency call. A mystery woman has left a message for him to go to the MetroCourt immediately about police business. He thinks it’s Maxie and I think I’m right about Claudette.

Elizabeth asks Franco how he showed up just when he did and Franco says because she was shouting. He adds that he didn’t kill anyone and asks if she believes him.

Tracy approaches Obrecht and tells her that the prosecution of Finn stops now. Obrecht says since he refused to take the drug test, he had to be suspended per hospital rules. She tells Tracy that all his work had to be destroyed as well, because of his work with infectious diseases. Tracy is livid.

Finn and Hayden are having lunch. Finn gets a call.

Ava calls out to Nicholas, but gets no answer. She picks up a fireplace poker and Nicholas walks in behind her. She says she heard a door slam and he tells her it’s just a draft. I’ll bet it’s Hux. Or Jason. Nicholas tells her to sit down to a 4th of July feast and she gets bummed, remembering it’s a holiday. And they sure don’t celebrate it over there.

Elizabeth is juggling a bunch of sodas and food at the fireworks. Franco helps her and she asks if he wants to join her and the boys

Tracy tells Obrecht that there are grounds for unlawful suspension. She says she’s getting Finn reinstated immediately.

Finn says the call was nothing, but Hayden says clearly it was something. He says since he was arrested, there’s been a problem with customs and his medication.

Doc tells Laura that it’s normal for a child to try and reconnect. She says for a moment, she really believed he was talking to Nicholas.

Ava says she never thought she’d be having a 4th of July picnic in a haunted mansion. Nicholas tells Ava that the mansion isn’t haunted; ghosts are afraid to be there. He asks her to check out the wine cellar with him. As soon as they’re gone, Jason and Sam walk in.

Nathan goes into the room at the MetroCourt. Yep, I was right. CJ is there and he calls her “Claudette.”

Tomorrow, Sonny is worried about Alexis, Claudette tells Nathan there’s something he needs to know, and Alexis asks Julian if he’s going to confess.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Bobby feels badly about kissing Hannah, since his feelings are stronger for Julia. What’s wrong with this picture? Oh yeah, Julia made it clear she has a boyfriend and isn’t interested in him.

The captain orders a MediVac to get Danny off the boat. Nothing they’re doing is bringing his fever down and he needs real medical attention. Regardless, as Ben says, the show must go on, and he makes more fabulous food. Bryan updates Jen as to what is going on, and she’s going to accompany him to the mainland.

The jeweler has arrived! He has some interesting pieces, although they’re a little big and chunky for me. Julia and Tiffany set a gorgeous table for dinner. Lots of drinking and revelry, although much more reasonable than most of the charters. No foam parties or anything. The guests request that the captain join them for dessert. It’s some kind of lemon coconut thing that looks like a dream. Captain Mark says he enjoys interacting with the guests on a limited basis (i.e. not making out and taking pictures). We find out that he’s been married for 16 years. The way we find this out is when he says he just celebrated his 16th anniversary, and then Linda, the primary, asks him how long he’s been married. Hannah says at least this group is super polite when they’re drunk.

Bobby (which I almost typo-ed as “Booby,” which might be more accurate) hopes Danny is fine, but says things are a lot quieter without him. From the preview before the commercial, it looks like the next group of guests is going to make up for all the quietness and politeness.

Jen and Danny come back. He has gastro-something. He’s is on antibiotics and goes back to bed. Bryan shows Jen how to do knots his way again. Bobby and Ben discuss whether Danny should get tipped for this charter or not. The general consensus is, no work, no tip. Ben tells Danny he should forfeit his tip before the fact, so he’ll look a little better. Even though he hates not sending money home, Danny tells the captain that since he caused more work for the crew, he’d like to forego the tip, and the captain says he’ll take it under advisement. Everyone is sad seeing the guests leave since they behaved like humans and treated the crew likewise.

The captain tells the crew about Danny’s forfeiture. The tip is the largest so far – 20,000 Euros – 1800 USD each.

The next charter is a group of friends who have been together for years and expect five-star treatment. They want a theme costume party and Hannah suggests a Venetian party. Captain Mark asks how the communication has been going with Hannah and Ben. They’ve come up with a system and everything is copacetic…for now. Wow. No break this time between charters.

Danny surrenders his phone. Julia and Ben talk about their backgrounds. Julia says she could tell that Ben came from a privileged and educated background. She says that private school boys have an air of self-righteousness about them, but I figured he was like that just because he’s a chef. Bryan checks to see if Danny has his list. Both he and Bobby pick on Danny even though he’s still not totally recovered. Bobby goes on about how Danny got his phone taken away from him and Danny just wants to get back to work. Danny complains to Ben about the list thing and Ben tells him to try to avoid any conflict. Danny says he’s going to have to be fake, which he hates.

The guests arrive. Hannah thinks they look high maintenance and misses the last guests already. She gives them the tour. She says normally it takes less than ten minutes and an hour into the charter, she’s over it. She’s having difficulty getting them to listen to any safety instruction. Ben tells her if they stick together and be cool, they’ll get through it.

Tiffany compares the charter to a frat house. Yep. And totally undeserving of the amazing snacks Ben has created. Okay, one of the guests is down already, having slipped off of the bar and onto the floor, so drunk that she can barely make it to the lounge chair. She asks Tiffany to help her get to the cabin to put on her bikini. One of the primaries complains that the trouble with drunk guests is that they take attention away from the rest of them.

Hannah has to tell Ben that only one guest is still moving around and some of them might not make dinner. Once again, I think, all the wrong people have the money. Danny asks if he can go on a jet ski and check out some caves since the guests are down for the count. Bryan asks if he thinks he’s at Club Med.

The first guest who comes back to life asks for a drink and in her interview, Julia is like, he just got done sleeping the first ones off. Bleh. The guests that are lucid sit down for dinner and put on their Venetian masks, demanding more vodka. They keep hassling Hannah. In her interview, she suggests one of them should just tattoo “dickhead” on his forehead. They’re all more interested in alcohol than food.

Bryan bugs Jen about the knots again. He wants her to tie one right now. She says she might not be the best deckhand he’s had, but neither is he the best first mate she’s had. He says at the end of the day, she works for him though. She tells him she’ll get the knot thing, and doesn’t need his help.

The guests are pretty disgusting, with one guy sitting there swilling liquor and shoving food in his mouth while he’s not wearing a shirt. Seriously, no way would I spend this kind of money to be an a-hole. You can do that for free.

Bryan tells Bobby about Danny asking to go exploring and says they should have gotten rid of him in the beginning. Bryan complains about Jen next. At the same time, Danny and Jen confer. Danny says he hopes his work will speak for itself. He’s bummed that he’s cruising the Mediterranean and can’t take any pictures. Maybe he should get a disposable camera the next time they go to port. He says if you don’t have any picture to post on social media, it’s like you didn’t do it, and that makes me sad.

Julia brings the guests breakfast. The guests make fun of her accent. Nice. If that was me, they’d be wearing that omelette. In her interview, she wonders if they realize she’s right in front of them. Here’s news for you, Julia, they don’t care.

One of the drunks guests asks the captain about going ashore to do a hike. Frankly, I’m not sure he’s in good enough shape to hike to the bar a deck away. He tells Captain Mark that a couple of the drunks guests aren’t getting along with Hannah. This seems like a weird time to bring this up, since she’s having the other two pinch hit for her. The really good news is, they’re extending the charter for two more nights.

The captain calls Ben, Hannah and Bryan to the bridge to tell them. He tells Hannah the drunks guests have perceived she’s not into them. She says they’re vulgar and disgusting, and she can only be pushed so far before it’s apparent she’s not thrilled.

Next time, Julia calls her boyfriend, Danny goes hiking with Bryan who takes pictures with his phone, Julia confronts Ben about his condescending attitude, making him cry. What?

Southern Charm – Reunion Part Two

Andy asks Kathryn if she wants to clear anything up about her relationship with Thomas. She says she only wants to have peace and co-parent in a sane manner, and thinks his offer wasn’t fair. She says she did a detailed budget and it doesn’t compare to what he’s offering. Thomas counters with hus desire to do more than what’s fair and says she’ll be comfortable. Kathryn surprises us by saying that at one point, Thomas designed a ring. When asked by someone on social media why she doesn’t work, Kathryn says she’s been putting together some vintage jewelry pieces. She says one of them is the necklace she’s wearing, which I gave her props on last time. Landon laughs because she’s an idiot who doesn’t have a creative bone in her body.

They discuss the polo match. Andy asks why Kathryn was so upset. Kathryn says she saw an old Thomas enabler, who she felt was inappropriate to be around Kensie. A viewer suggests she faked a pregnancy complication to get him to co-sign on the house, but even Thomas disagrees. Landon still thinks she’s a psychopath trying to manipulate all of them. Andy points out the plethora of negative social comments Landon has gotten. Craig says something so complicated to justify what Landon says, I can’t even comprehend it. Thomas says he has a Downs Syndrome brother and he’s proud that Kathryn decided to carry the baby to term despite there being complications. Craig thinks Thomas and Kathryn are going to end up together and Shep compares them to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Huh?

Jennifer joins the group. She’s pregnant with her first child. They joke that the father is Thomas. She talks about how supportive Kathryn has been. Andy asks how they became friends and she says the three of them were close friends in the beginning. She explains that she went out with Thomas a couple of times when Kathryn and Thomas were broken up. Andy asks if they slept together and Jennifer tells him that she’s never going to answer a question like that. Shep brings up that the implications with Jennifer don’t bother Kathryn, but she’s bothered by Landon.

Jennifer says the way Kathryn reacts might not be right, but Landon definitely likes to push her buttons. Jennifer says she can’t say she’s not involved with Thomas and then post pictures that are incendiary. Kathryn says her problem with the whole thing is that it’s intentional. The women all start talking at once and Andy moves on.

Andy brings up Thomas being a bully to Jennifer at the party. He suggests Thomas can be more hormonal than Kathryn. Jennifer says she didn’t call Kathryn to upset her, but to absolve herself. Andy brings up when Thomas tried to put the kibosh on the Kathryn/ Jennifer friendship. Jennifer says she didn’t realize that Thomas had made an ultimatum, and Kathryn says she felt pressured to placate him. Jennifer says it hurt her feelings, but if it meant Thomas and Kathryn’s relationship would do better, she can live with it. Thomas says that he has a lot of respect for Jennifer now. Jennifer tears up. Thomas gives her a hanky. (Ha-ha! Spellcheck would like to change that to “honky.”) She says the support means a lot since the only thing that matters is her child. She says she understands now about Kathryn being emotional when she was pregnant and Thomas trying to keep her calm. Andy asks if she has any final thoughts. She says both Kathryn and Thomas work well together when they try and care about their kids more than themselves.

Exit Jennifer and on to Whitney. He says he’s main base is in Los Angeles now. Andy asks about Larissa. He asks about them breaking up, but Whitney uses the euphemism “taking a break.” He says he’s hoping for the best, but he doesn’t know. That’s vague. Andy asks how the friendship with Thomas stands. Whitney says he hears more from Thomas when he and Kathryn aren’t together, but they’re still bros.

They talk about the Southern dinner party from hell. Thomas tries to use the word pandemonium and can’t pronounce it. Kathryn says there was definitely a grain of truth in what Thomas said. Thomas explains that while he didn’t invite Whitney, he invited Landon in hopes that she and Kathryn would get along. We see Thomas’s window escape again, and Kathryn explains that she wanted to fix things with Landon on her own and not involve Thomas. Andy asks why Cameran went to the dinner party when she was avoiding them all season. She claims she wanted to let them prove that they could all get along. We see how well that worked.

We see the clip of Thomas insulting Cameran. She says she was “terrified,” since she’d never been spoken to that way. Grow up. Cameran says she lives her life by a certain standard and can probably work on her judgmental nature. They laugh about Craig not knowing what sanctimonious meant.

Moving on to Landon, who claims she was glad to hear Thomas stand up for Kathryn, who rolls her eyes. Landon says she never knew someone where the paternity had to be questioned, but apologizes. Not accepted. Kathryn says she feels that for once, Thomas was being honest. Thomas says his intentions were good. Shep says it takes two to tango, and you can’t be friends with someone who upsets one of a couple.

Andy brings up that it’s the second time Thomas went after Shep for being a momma’s boy. Shep says there’s a certain amount of nepotism that Thomas has benefited from too. Thomas says emotions are dangerous and feelings are to be felt, not acted upon. Shep applauds his epiphany. He says he didn’t live up to the Ravenel standard. Andy pries into Thomas and Kathryn’s business by asking if they spent the dinner party night together. Kathryn skirts the question, saying she just wanted Thomas to calm down. Thomas retracts everything he said and Cameran concurs that he called everyone afterward.

Cameran is called on the carpet about being on The Real World and hosting a Girls Gone Wild segment, the latter a surprise to all of us. She says she didn’t know what she was doing, but Shep thinks it’s awesome. Apparently, Landon was almost on The Hills and talks nonsense. Andy moves on to Kathryn’s dislike for Landon. She says the things Landon has said weigh heavy on someone who’s a mother. Cameran calls Kathryn “reactionary” and I wonder who uses that term in 2016.

Landon brings up Kathryn calling Thomas’s nanny out for domestic abuse and says that’s how he lost the campaign. Hahahahahahaha! Yeah. The fact that he went to prison for drug trafficking and didn’t exactly have a squeaky clean image had nothing to do with it. Andy brings up Landon and Thomas getting together, and how Thomas tried to appease Kathryn by keeping it from her. Kathryn says it hurt her feelings and she felt betrayed. They discuss Kathryn’s confrontation of Landon at the Founder’s Ball. Kathryn talks about how disrespectful Landon was and how she’s never accountable. Craig says there still isn’t a source for the animosity. Kathryn points to Landon and Thomas going out when she was pregnant. Landon claims that they never even held hands, but Kathryn says she knows better.

Andy asks Kathryn what she thinks happened. She says Landon initiated something and that Thomas told her that Landon wanted to make it look like they were together. Whitney claims Thomas told him he tried with Landon. We see the clips from Watch What Happens Live with Shep and Craig alluding to the fact it happened. Craig says he said he didn’t know because he didn’t know.

Andy brings up the end of the finale where Landon’s friend, Robyn, said that Landon and Thomas slept together. Cameran thinks Thomas can’t keep a secret, but Kathryn disagrees. Thomas claims any time he’s lied to Kathryn, he’s confessed, but Kathryn begs to differ. Andy asks if it even matters, and Kathryn says it doesn’t, but she wanted to know the truth. Landon says she never had sex with Thomas, but even if she had, he and Kathryn weren’t together at the time. Landon claims she never lies. Hello? Shep’s party?

Kathryn says she doesn’t trust any of them, except Craig and maybe Shep a little.

Andy says it’s been an eye-opening season and thanks everyone. Landon says she’s tired of defending herself. Cameran says she thinks they’ve had positive conversation and we see Kathryn and Whitney hugging it out during the break. Kathryn says they don’t need to hate each other and Whitney wants them to be friends for the kids’ sake. Shep is hoping to stay in Charleston and wants the best for the kids. Andy says Craig has changed a bit. Thomas says it’s important that he and Kathryn be good friends and allies for the kids.

Drinks are served. Shep gives a toast saying they understand each other in a way that no one else can and he loves everyone. They toast to Charleston.

The Haves and the Have Nots

DA Jennifer is pretty freaked about Wyatt’s death. She mentions the inheritance she let him have and says it was like putting drugs in his hand. Blake suggests she blame his parents or the drug dealer. He asks if she’s going to tell his parents and she says she can’t even look at them. Blake says he’ll do it.

Benny takes Hannah to Candace’s house. He tells her to calm down. Hannah is livid about Candace putting Quincy Jr. in foster care, even though it’s temporary. They argue and nosy neighbor tells Hannah she can call the police. Benny says, “Old lady, go to bed,” and makes me laugh. Hannah makes him apologize. Nosy alludes to Candace being a prostitute. She tells Benny if he doesn’t move his truck, she’ll call the police. Benny says he’ll move his damn truck when he wants to, but Hannah makes him apologize again and tells him to move the truck.

Nosy thanks Hannah and tells her not to go over to Candace’s. She says she saw a man go in and never come out, and there are visitors all day and all night. She also gives her two cents about the house design. Hannah tells her that Candace is her daughter. Nosy says she’s sorry and Hannah says she is too. Finally, we find out that Nosy’s name is Pearl. She tells Hannah about Quincy and how he came there and never came back out. She prattles on and says she has a picture of him from her camera, which she says she has trained on Candace’s house. She says she has a lot of policemen in her family. She asks if Hannah would like to see the picture and Hannah says yes. Pearl tells her not to show the guy she’s with and Hannah says that’s her son. Pearl runs inside like there’s a fire happening.

Hannah marches over to Benny. She tells him it’s late and they don’t know where Quincy Jr. is. She walks past him and knocks on Candace’s door. She confronts Candace about putting Quincy Jr. in foster care. Candace tells Benny to take Hannah home. Hannah asks if it’s because Quincy was there and tells Candace about Pearl having a picture of him. She asks if Candace is scared and tells Candace to let her or Benny take her son. Hannah asks a bunch of questions and Candace tells her that Quincy Jr. is with a preacher and his wife. She says he’ll only be there a short time. Hannah is concerned about Quincy coming back and begs Candace to let her have Quincy Jr. Candace tells them good-night and closes the door. Benny finally gets Hannah to leave while Pearl watches from the window.

Landon reads the article about Maggie to Jeffrey. Landon says he knows his mother must have lured Maggie there on purpose. Jeffrey starts to read it, but Landon takes his phone back. He says he doesn’t trust anyone and they’re all crazy. He says every one of them is always up to something and starts packing. He tells Jeffrey to get out.

Benny tells Hannah that Pearl is nuts. Hannah wonders how she would see Quincy go in , but not go out. Benny says maybe she just didn’t see him leave, but Hannah says she has cameras. She says someone like that has nothing better to do than sit around and watch everything. She wonders why Candace would even let Quincy in and then wonders why Benny isn’t upset. He says he knows Candace wouldn’t let Quincy in and tells Hannah to go to bed. She says it doesn’t make sense and asks why Benny keeps looking at his phone. He says he’s waiting for a text.

Hannah says David came to see her about Benny and asks if he’s still messing around with Veronica. He says no. She tells him he’s in the middle of fire if he still is. She says Veronica will use Benny up to get back at David. She thinks of how much alike Candace and Veronica are and then asks if Benny thinks Candace did something to Quincy. Benny says Pearl has Hannah talking crazy and she needs to let it go. Hannah says she hopes Candace is telling the truth that Quincy Jr. is safe because she lies when the truth will do.

Hannah wonders if Candace gave her son to Quincy. Benny says to give Candace some credit. He tells Hannah that Quincy Jr. is fine and to go to bed.

Benny texts Candace, telling her to be at his house in an hour. She calls him and he tells her about Pearl. Candace says she has to find out what Pearl knows and Benny tells her not to do anything stupid. He says Pearl could get them busted for real and they have to get the body out of there. She says they have to wait, at least until he stops smelling. Benny says he’ll look up how long it takes and Candace says she will – from Pearl’s house. He asks her what she’s going to do and she says what she knows how to do. He asks about Quincy Jr. and she tells him good-by. Benny thinks she must be lying about Quincy being with a preacher’s family.

David comes to Jim’s cell to apologize. Jim tells him that he didn’t call off the hit, but David says he knows he did. Jim admits it and David asks why. Jim says when he saw the look on David’s face and how he protects Veronica, he thought of Amanda. David tells him that Maggie is dead. He says apparently she interrupted a burglary – at least that’s what Veronica is telling the police. Jim tells him to sleep with his eyes open. David says he filed for divorce and Jim says all the more reason.

Jim asks if David loved Maggie and he says no. Jim asks if he slept with Maggie and David says he never cheated on his wife. Jim says David is a strong man, but he wishes David would find another way to vent his frustration. David apologizes again. They joke about the fight and Jim asks where it leaves them. David says, frenemies. David says he’ll work on getting Jim out. Jim asks him to hurry and says he owes him a serious ass kicking. They shake hands through the bars.

The phone rings at the Cryer house. Kathryn wakes up, but doesn’t want to answer.

Hannah’s phone rings. Katherine tells her she got “that phone call.” She says nobody calls this late and she didn’t answer it. She tells Hannah it’s ringing again and Hannah tells her to answer. Katherine says she can feel it. Hannah asks what the number is. Katherine gives her the number and Hannah says she’ll call her right back. Katherine lies in bed crying.

Hannah calls Blake. She asks why he was calling Katherine. Blake says it’s about her son. Hannah asks if he’s all right, but he says he needs to talk to Katherine. He asks who Hannah is and she says a friend. He repeats that he has to talk to Katherine personally and says someone is on the way to her house right now. Hannah says she’s already lost a child and have them wait until she gets there. She calls for Benny.

Without waiting for Benny, Hannah picks up his keys. Veronica is at the door. Hannah blows past her and drives away. Veronica asks Benny if he missed her. He says the reason he’s been calling her is that he needs to talk. She asks to talk inside. He says no and he wants her to talk to David. He says David is messing around with his business and he needs his money. He says David came looking for him, asking questions about the two of them, and he told David to talk to her. He tells Veronica to tell David there’s nothing going on.

Benny asks if she knew their picture was going to be in the paper and she says no. He says that’s a trick old chicks play, making their husbands jealous by screwing a young dude. She says if she was going to do that, she’d screw someone who could conjugate a verb or actually make some money. She says she used him for sex and it wasn’t even good. He tells her to get her old ass out of there and don’t come back. He says to tell David to stop messing with his phones or he’s coming after him. Veronica tells him to stay out of men’s games and basically that she was faking it with him. She says David is going to ruin him and to stay away from David because he’s dangerous.

Hannah gets to the Cryer house and thanks the detective for waiting. She calls Katherine and tells her to open the door. Katherine asks why she’s there and says she’s not opening the door. Hannah says Katherine asked her to be there and she is; now she has to open the door. Katherine just keeps saying no, but Hannah says she’s coming in with the extra key and Katherine has to come downstairs.

She opens the door and goes in with the detective. Hannah asks the detective how bad it is and he says, bad. He asks who Hannah is to Katherine and Hannah says she’s a friend, and that Katherine isn’t going to take this well.

Katherine comes down and says she doesn’t want the detective there. She says he was there when her daughter died and asks why he’s there. He says he’s sorry. She asks if her son is dead and he doesn’t say anything. She asks Hannah if her son is dead and the detective says he is. Katherine dissolves into screams and tears. Hannah runs to her and holds her. Tableau on the stairs.

Next time, the blood is scrubbed from Veronica’s walkway, Jim asks Hannah about the lawsuit, Katherine begs Hanna to do something that she says she can’t and Warlock continues to abuse Candace.

 

June 27, 2016 – GH, OC Wives & a Charming Reunion

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ava and Nicholas wake up in the shed. She asks what happened last night.

Monica asks Tracy and Michael why they’re at the hospital. Tracy says following Monica’s insane instructions and seeing the new doctor. Michael says he drove because Tracy is still frail from being sick.

Finn has Teddy in the examining room and asks for Felix’s assistance.

Julian tries to talk to Alexis, who isn’t having any. She tells him she posted bail. Ghost Carrrlos tells Julian it’s the perfect opportunity to get rid of her and to kill her now. Julian says if he’d been arrested, he probably would have had to stay in jail. He says he wishes he would have known about the arraignment, so he could have been supportive. Alexis says she wants nothing from him. Ugh! He repeats that everything he’s done has been for them, and both Alexis and I are tired of hearing it. She goes upstairs and Carrrlos tells Julian he’s losing his touch.

Sam tells Jason that Spinelli hacked into Nicholas’s computer, but Nicholas didn’t rent a car or leave any other trail. Jason wonders if he stole a car, but Sam says that’s not his style. Jason says, although he is with Ava.

Nicholas doesn’t see anyone around and thinks they might be looking elsewhere. Ava says last night was a blur, but Nicholas says nothing inappropriate happened. She spilled some liquor on herself and he gave her his shirt, but averted his eyes when she was changing. He says they really need to keep moving and he has to get out of England ASAP. Ava says he’d been planning on going to Amsterdam, but he says the location has changed now.

Monica tells Tracy her doctor is on another floor. Tracy suggests Monica escort her. Monica is wise that they don’t want her going into the examination room. Tracy steers her away and Michael goes into the room. Finn asks if Teddy usually drools so much. Sabrrrina says it started last night, but she thought he was cutting a tooth. She tells him all the countries they’ve gone through since Teddy was born and wonders if he got exposed to something. Yeah, jet lag. Finn asks if there’s anything else out of the ordinary. Obrecht comes flying in.

Obrecht tells Finn to get away from Teddy. Sabrrrina says they need him. Obrecht says he’s been suspended after being suspected of killing patients. She’s about to call security when Michael shoves her in a closet.

Alexis tells herself to keep it together. Julian tells Carrrlos to get out of his head, but Carrrlos says they’re a team. He says Alexis is a bigger threat than any of his enemies were. He says Julian needs to make it look like an accident; Alexis is already sick, just make her sicker. Alexis comes downstairs saying she has some kind of bug and Julian offers to make her tea. Her phone is dead and Julian takes it into the kitchen to charge it. Carrrlos asks what kind of poison he’s going to put in the tea.

Jason talks to the bartender and tells Sam that the town is smaller than small. If anyone had stolen a car, it would be common knowledge. Sam says maybe they should ask Hux and his girlfriend (oops! I thought he lived with his mother) for help, but Jason says they’re unreliable and he doesn’t think they’ll be seeing them again anyway.

Nicholas says if a reward is given, Ava will be the first one to turn him in. She says she hasn’t turned him in yet. He says now that they’re done with the Hux madness, she can go back home. She says no, she can’t.

Valerie asks Monica if everything is okay, and Tracy says Monica lost her balance and was just helping her. Monica concurs and thanks Valerie for her diligence. After Valerie leaves, Monica says Tracy is far from frail, and Tracy tells Monica what’s going on with Teddy.

Finn asks about Teddy’s diet. Sabrrrina gives him a food list, but Finn thinks they’re all okay. Sabrrrina says the nanny also fed him and Finn asks her to find out what. She makes the call and Valerie comes in, telling Finn to step away from the baby like she’s one of those car alarms that talks.

Ava tells Nicholas she has the original statue. She says she was dealing with a questionable piece, but the real one is in a safe place. Nicholas says they could have been killed and if she wants to risk her life, fine, but don’t risk his. She says he’s no angel, since Jason is being accused of his murder.

Jason tells Sam to call Spinelli about Amsterdam. Sam looks at her phone and tells him omg, her mother’s been arrested for Carrrlos’s murder.

Julian gives Alexis tea and crackers. He wonders if she can get off on a technicality. Alexis says no, and he asks what the strategy is. She lists all the things the DA has against her, while I admire her cool black coffee mug. Carrrlos watches as Alexis take a sip of tea.

Alexis goes to get her phone, which must charge miraculously quickly. Julian tells Carrrlos he’s not going to poison her. When she returns (phone fully charged), Julian tells Alexis he can’t accept he’s lost her. She says when he killed Carrrlos, he lost her and what kind of future can they have if she’s in prison? Julian says there has to be a reasonable doubt. She says they have the dagger and she has no alibi. She says if he lets her take the rap, he’s going to lose not just her, but his children.

Sam wonders why no one called her. She says there’s no way Alexis killed Carrrlos. Jason intimates that it must have been Julian, and maybe he needed to shut Carrrlos up. Sam believes he would kill, but not that he would let Alexis take the fall. She wonders if Alexis is covering for him, but Jason says it’s a life sentence. Sam says either Julian framed her or Alexis is out of her mind. Sam wants to get back home, but she tells Jason to stay there and finish what they started.

Nicholas says he was actually trying to frame Hayden; Jason was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He says Diane has gotten Jason acquitted before and will again. He made arrangements for a flight out while Ava was sleeping, and says he’ll send for Spencer when he can. Ava says Hux is going to come after her and she can’t afford to go home. Nicholas says to give Hux the real statue, but she says she has good reasons why she can’t.

Tracy says she knows Monica is on the warpath about Finn, but she trusts him. Valerie keeps telling Finn to move away and Michael tells her that Teddy needs him. They hear Obrecht banging around in the closet. Sabrrrina tells Finn that the nanny gave Teddy some yogurt that might have contained honeyy. She begs Valerie to let Finn treat Teddy and not to let her baby die.

Monica tells Tracy that she can’t turn her back on what’s happening, but the baby’s health is more important than rules and regulations. Finn thinks Teddy has botulism and Valerie asks what he needs to do. He tells her and says she can arrest him afterward. Obrecht objects, but Valerie says to let him do what he needs to. Obrecht says she’s abetting a crime, but Valerie says if Obrecht doesn’t leave, she’ll give her a citation for disobeying a police officer.

Alexis runs down the list of people who will hate Julian. She says he obviously doesn’t care and saving himself is more important. She goes to take a bath and Carrrlos says a slip in the tub is better than poison. In the tub, Alexis flashes back to being there with Julian. Carrrlos says Julian didn’t even blink when he killed him. Julian says he didn’t want to lose Alexis or their life together. Carrrlos says look how far they’ve fallen and she isn’t the woman he used to love. Julian says he drove her to this and he’s going to get her back. Carrrlos says go ahead, but see what happens. He says Julian already lost Alexis and now he’s going to lose his children.

Nicholas says he needs to disappear alone. He says she could solve her problems by giving Hux the real statue. She says traveling with him is better. She says if she goes back to Port Charles, she might let slip he’s not dead. She asks if he’s going to take her with him or risk that.

Jason says he can take care of things. Sam asks how he’s going to get Nicholas back to Port Charles if he finds him. He says he’ll call the police and it might be dicey for him, but in the end he’ll come home to her.

Alexis starts to get in the tub and Julian pushes her head under. I’m doubting this is real, but wonder who’s fantasy it is. Carrrlos’s? Speaking of which, I’m glad Jeffrey Vincent Parise is back on the show. GH must realize the acting treasure they have in him and he makes a much better ghost than Alan did. That was just sad.

Finn says Teddy will have to stay at the hospital for a while, and they need to run tests, but he should be fine. He thanks Felix and says he’ll take full responsibility and bear any consequences. Finn starts to leave and Tracy asks where he’s going. He says to jail and goes over to Valerie, who arrests him.

It was Julian’s fantasy. Carrrlos eggs him on. He says Julian will grieve for a while, but then he’ll be free. He’ll have his children and his life. Julian ponders this and heads upstairs.

Sam is at the airport, while Jason finds the shed Ava and Nicholas were in. He finds something that looks like a gold shower curtain ring. An earring?

In the tub, Alexis gets a text from Sam. She tells Sam she doesn’t need to come back. Julian enters the bathroom and stands behind her.

Tomorrow, Lulu asks Dante if he thinks Nicholas is still alive, Nicholas heads to Greece, and Alexis is startled by Julian.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Vicki is at the start of her apology tour, starting with Heather, who thinks she just talks in circles. Heather asks if Vicki had doubts about Brooks, and she says yes. Heather wonders why she didn’t come to any of them. Vicki asks why they even cared about Brooks’s health issues and Heather says because it was all bs. Vicki says Brooks lied to her too. Heather says she doesn’t care about what Brooks did, only Vicki’s part in the lie, and thinks Vicki should have conversations with everyone. In her interview, Heather says Vicki wants to just sweep everything under the rug, but it’s impossible with so many people being involved. She says Vicki can’t move on because the rest of them haven’t.

Dinner is still going on below deck. Tamra and Jeana discuss Vicki. Jeana thinks Tamra should meet her halfway. On the way home with Jeana, Vicki cries, saying she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. In her interview, she says the women have lost respect and compassion for her. She tells Jeana she wants to be happy again.

Kelly puts the evil iodine on her daughter’s scraped up knees. Funny, we were just talking about that stuff the other day and if it still existed. She says the weirdest thing about being a mom is having a little being just like you. OMG – just the thought is frightening. Her husband, Michael, cashed out as CEO of a toy company, and now leads a life of leisure, which includes giving his 2 cents on daily parenting decisions. Their daughter says she doesn’t feel well and doesn’t want to go to school. Michael is thinking they should listen to her, but Kelly says she’s fine. Mom wins.

Terry is wiped out because they got home at midnight and he got up for surgery at 4 am. Heather wants family time and has made reservations for a week’s vacation. Daughter Max made it into the talent show. When Terry asks what his talent would be, one of the other kids suggests farting. Typical dad talent.

Tamra calls, thanking Heather for the party. She wonders what happened between her and Vicki. Heather says Vicki apologized, but they both think she’s only sorry she got caught. Well, we know that Vicki said that if she had it to do over again, she’d do the same thing. They briefly discuss Kelly, who Tamra thought was a little outspoken. Well, if that’s not the pot calling the kettle aggressive, I don’t know what is.

Tamra tells Ryan she saw Sarah with Ava, who’s now at “the fun age” and recognizing her grandma. Sarah and Ryan started having problems that would escalate to calling the cops, so they split up. Ryan lives in an apartment, while Sarah and Ava have the house that Tamra put the down payment on. Ryan says they fight over stupid stuff like Instagram and Facebook. How mature! Social media definitely fosters great parenting skills. In her interview, Tamra says she feels guilty because she was a single mom and wanted something more for Ryan.

It’s Valentine’s Day and Shannon and David go out for dinner. We go down Memory Lane about colonics, which is perfect dinner table talk. He gives her a necklace. She keeps saying “wow,” but I’m not sure if she likes it. Yep, in her interview, she says he picks out things she wouldn’t choose for herself, but they grow on her, and this one might take a while. She says she hopes one day to be in a place where she can say the affair he had was a blessing in disguise, but she’s not there yet. She is over it though. God bless them.

David brings up Vicki, and Shannon says she doesn’t like how Vicki isn’t taking responsibility and continues to lie. In her interview, she says forgiveness is one thing, but staying friends is another. She agrees with Heather that Vicki wants to just sweep things under the rug. That rug is getting crowded underneath.

Kelly, who doesn’t like a bunch of girls ganging up on one person, calls Vicki and asks her out to lunch. In her interview, she says that Meghan discouraged the friendship, but she’s a big girl and can make her own decisions. Is it possible we might have a grown-up on the show?

In her interview, Vicki says this year is about removing the negativity from her life and focusing on her business and family. She says the drama with Brooks took a toll on her and her company, which is like a third child to her. She’s having some kind of networking event. Her son is also involved; she wants the business to be her children’s legacy.

Vacation time! Heather, Terry and kids go to the beach, bypassing the amazing pool that I drool over. They’re sitting in one of those double-lounges with a canopy. Heather says Terry doesn’t realize how quickly time passes and hopes a successful vacation will spur him to spend more time with the family.

Tamra pulled something in her arm and gathers her icing supplies. Her competition is coming up and she doesn’t want any injuries. She asks if Eddie has talked to Ryan, and brings up the down payment. She says if you loan someone money, you shouldn’t expect it back. Huh? Eddie corrects that by saying an agreement is an agreement. Thank you. Tamra says she was brought up with family and Eddie was adopted, so they look at things differently, and he doesn’t understand why she wants to help Ryan. I think Eddie is wise and practical. Eddie tells her to stay out of Ryan’s business as he’s an adult. Yeah, what is he now, 45?

Vicki meets Kelly for lunch. She says she has whoop-it-up radar and thinks Kelly is a whoop-it-up girl. They make small talk and discuss their astrology signs. Vicki tells her that she’s trying to get her joy back after the break-up with Brooks. She talks about Briana moving back and that Briana has been sick with an autoimmune disease for the past five years. She asks how the boat party was for Kelly and Kelly says it was fun, but she thought Shannon kind of ignored her.

Meghan is having the kitchen remodeled and talks about how Jimmy tells her they’re spending too much and then wants to tear out the floors or rewire the electrical system. Kelly, Shannon and Tamra come by wearing hardhats. Meghan says they’re going to break the ice with Kelly by breaking up her kitchen. Shannon starts the wall demolishing. I have flashbacks about when my house was flooded during Hurricane Sandy.

With the kids at day camp, Heather and Terry have a romantic meal on their hotel veranda, served by the included butler. They discuss the new house. In his interview, Terry says he’s having the time of his life with his work, and feels guilty for not feeling as guilty as he should for not spending enough time with his kids.

At Meghan’s, the girls have red Solo cup drinks and Kelly brings up her lunch with Vicki. She feels that they were kind of mean to Vicki at the party and Vicki is hurt. She says Shannon was especially standoffish. Both Tamra and Shannon open and close their mouths like a couple of fish. Meghan asks if Vicki said anything about any of them. Kelly says no and she doesn’t think Vicki wants to, but Meghan doesn’t believe it. Tamra says she has a long history with Vicki and explains about how she didn’t like Brooks and Vicki was constantly praising him and making her look bad. Kelly asks if Vicki got involved in their relationships and Tamra says yes, telling her about Simon. Funny she should bring that up, because at the time the roles were reversed – Vicki was right and Tamra didn’t listen. In her interview, Kelly says she’s been ganged up on and her first instinct is to protect someone who’s in the same position. She asks Tamra more about Simon and finds out that Tamra hasn’t seen her daughter in two years. Tamra starts to cry and in her interview, Kelly says they just met, but everyone hates her now.

Tamra talks about kids taking sides in divorce and how she wanted Simon to work with her, but he refused. Kelly says she was married to a similar personality, and remarried him. She says they were separated for two years and it was a nightmare because he wouldn’t let her file for divorce. She decided that it was easier to stay married. Shannon asks if she’s in love with Michael and Kelly says he’s a really nice guy, but he can be a narcissist. He did a 730 psychiatric evaluation, whatever that is, and they found out he has narcissistic personality disorder, for which there is no cure. It gets pretty quiet after this bomb drop.

Next time, Briana gets to the OC, Meghan wills herself to be pregnant, and Tamra stirs things up between Heather and Kelly.

Southern Charm – Reunion Part One

I’m hating on that squinty-eyed, fake smiley Landon already. I do like her earrings though.

We start off by Thomas telling us that his parents think him being on the show is worse than him being in prison. One of Shep’s bars had a fire and Shep’s drinking habits are discussed. He talks about Bailey and how when a relationship gets to the moment it must be defined, he doesn’t want to define anything, but doesn’t want to disappoint anyone either. Andy talks about Kathryn and Shep having a moment at one time, and they both say it was casual.

Someone tweets that Shep is denigrating to women, but I don’t agree. Next, his work ethic is questioned. Geez, the last person I expected to see picked on right out of the gate was Shep. While he is a serial dater, he seems like a pretty decent human.

Moving on to Cameran. Zzzz… Andy asks why she didn’t invite Thomas and Kathryn to her dinner party. Hmm… Thomas’s dinner party should answer that question. Cameran says she’s not interested in drama. Quite a few people on social media think Cameran is a snotty mean girl. Cameran says she takes up for Kathryn all the time, and if I’d been drinking something, I would have choked. She says Kathryn has never done anything to her, but she’s not going to fake a friendship. Craig is like, what did you have to lose by going to coffee? Cameran tells Kathryn that nothing has changed from a year ago and Kathryn tells her she doesn’t know anything that’s going on between her and Thomas.

We move on to Cameran not wanting kids. She says a lot of women have been supportive. Kathryn says it is something to put a lot of thought into. She doesn’t regret it, but it changes your life.

Andy asks how the new Craig is doing. Shep says a girlfriend is the only discernible difference from the old Craig, but Craig says he also stopped drinking liquor. He sticks to wine or beer (smh). They talk about the promise ring he gave Naomie and the competitiveness between Craig and Shep. Somehow, Shep gets into a story about playing whiffleball on mushrooms in Chicago and going to jail. He says an old lady at the police station told him he should be nice to Craig and he realized where the tide of public opinion was going.

It turns out that Craig never finished his thesis and isn’t allowed to take the bar. Technically, he graduated, but never got a diploma. Shep is annoyed that they put together all kinds of paperwork, and Craig lied about it. Apparently, there’s some solution on the horizon, but we’ll see if he actually takes the test.

Airhead Landon is up next. We flash back to her non-meetings about her website or whatever it was she was pretending to work on. And then the Shep fail. Andy wonders what the blip with that. Shep says it was flattering, but he hates emotion. Craig says they got together at one time, but she said no, and he said Shep said he was done. Shep says they hooked up a little, but it was nothing serious.

Shep gets asked about bringing Landon’s friend as his date to the Founder’s Ball. He says Landon needs to get used to seeing him with a date and Landon acts like it’s cool, but we know it’s not. The subject of Shep’s birthday party gets brought up. Landon says she regrets lying to Shep about not inviting Kathryn. She apologizes to the both of them. Kathryn asks why, and Landon says their previous encounter hadn’t ended on a good note.

We move to Thomas and Landon, who went on a trip originally planned for Kathryn and Thomas. This degenerates pretty quickly, with Landon being really insulting to Kathryn and Kathryn saying Landon doesn’t even know her.

Then there’s the Whitney thing. Whitney still insists it was a one-night stand, but Kathryn says it was longer and she stayed at his house. We flash back to all her stuff being there and he makes up some other reason. She seems to have some pretty detailed and clear memories, and from the look on Whitney’s face and his body language, she’s telling the truth. She says she’s not trying to be mean, just honest.

We flash back to Craig’s inopportune bringing up the subject in the first place. Andy says Whitney was emotional and irrational, but Whitney blames Shep introducing him to moonshine earlier in the evening. Kathryn, btw, has a fabulous outfit on. Some sort of modern Victoriana. Shep brings up Kathryn getting in Whitney’s face during a night of drinking on Jekyll Island, suggesting that might be why Whitney is so hostile. He says he doesn’t agree with Kathryn’s ostracization, but he doesn’t think Whitney was ever in love with her. Craig corrects him, saying he thought Whitney just “had feelings for her.” There’s something that needs to be defined.

Andy congratulates Thomas and Kathryn on baby Julien. He has a theory that the baby was conceived after the last reunion and wonders if baby number three will happen tonight. Kathryn balks and says maybe someone else is up for the challenge (i.e. Landon). Andy brings up Patricia calling them morons. Kathryn says she was in love with Thomas and if people find it moronic, she feels sorry that they don’t know what love is.

After Julien was born, Kathryn thought she and Thomas would marry, but they ended up breaking up. A viewer wonders about Thomas leading Kathryn on and talking about having a third baby. They both say having baby Julien gave them baby fever. Thomas says reality set in later about their incompatibility.

We flash back to the question of baby Julien’s paternity. Kathryn is disgusted and sick of it being questioned. Landon says something about how she would never be questioned and Kathryn tells her until she has a child, shut up. Ha-ha! Andy asks Whitney why Patricia doesn’t like Kathryn, and he says after her “drug fueled” tirade on Jekyll Island, his mother just didn’t like her. Kathryn says she takes anti-depressants and believes she’s being penalized for being the unwed mother of two. Hey, at least they have the same baby daddy.

Thomas and Kathryn have been having a Twitter fight, but Thomas claims he wants it to stop and wants them to co-parent peacefully. Kathryn says that’s a lie and this is an act for the show. She says if she was ever a gold-digger, it was fool’s gold. She accuses Thomas of being on drugs and Landon accuses her of the same, saying there’s paperwork to prove it. Kathryn walks off.

Next time, Dinner party talk, Kathryn comes back, and Jennifer joins the group.

June 20, 2016 – GH Not So Much, But the End of Charm & Returning Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I had a bit of an emergency, so I wasn’t able to live blog during GH. I was able to flip through the show though, and there really wasn’t a whole lot going on. The main takeaway point was that Alexis won’t talk without her lawyer.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Ugh! Meghan is back. I don’t care if she was right about Brooks, it’s her delivery and ageist attitude that I hate.

Tamra is taking menopause head-on and training for a fitness competition. She and Eddie have been married three years now and things are still going strong.

Meghan is having her kitchen redone. They’ve moved several times, and this time she’s taking charge and making it her home. She and Jimmy have also gotten into the candle business. Next is Tupperware. And they’re planning a baby using IVF. Jimmy had a vasectomy, but froze sperm beforehand. Lucky Meghan. She’s discussing baby fever as he stares, fascinated, at the candles and the barcodes on the candles.

Terry had promised to work less and spend more time with Heather and the kids, but is busier than ever. No one has spoken to Vicki since the Brooks debacle. Heather wants to get everyone together, as Terry recently had a false positive on a heart test and she’s thinking life is short. She wants some sort of making amends thing and Terry is skeptical that Vicki is ever going to have a mea culpa moment.

Brooks finally had the good sense to move out, although Vicki begged him not to. She’s never lived alone and isn’t liking it. The ten years I lived by myself was the best time of my life. If I’d had Vicki’s money, it would have been an even better time. She says that she misses Brooks – he was her best friend and she really loved him – but she wants her life and friendships back. She says she wasn’t a participant in the lie, but if she had it to do over again, she’d still defend her man.

Each OC girl talks about the stories Vicki was telling last season and we see flashbacks. Heather wants accountability, Tamra wants an apology and nothing will satisfy Shannon.

Shannon and David are doing well. She’s thrilled with the progress they’ve made in a year when the therapist predicted up to two years to get over infidelity. OMG – she has twin eleven-year-olds, and one of them is talking about dating already. What happened to Barbies and Girl Scouts? They talk about several topics at the family dinner, like getting a smaller house and getting a dog.

Meghan has an appointment at the fertility doctor and her mother comes along. She’d also had fertility issues and can relate. Meghan’s biggest fear is needles. She fainted when she got a tattoo (wow), so she’s pretty freaked when they have to take blood. Jimmy is off coaching somewhere. Afterward, they do the probe thing and it hurts pretty badly. I know she’s not exaggerating because I remember the Little Women episodes that involved IVF.

Heather has been building her house for two years and it’s ETA is 2020. Tamra is going with her to pick out some citrus trees. Heather talks about having a get together, and wonders about Vicki. Tamra says she gets the occasional text, but Vicki continues to play the victim. Heather asks if Shannon will be mad if she invites Vicki and Tamra says yes, but Heather needs to talk to her.

Meghan is out with new girl Kelly. They’ve been friends for about a year. Kelly used to vacation in the OC and her dream was to live there. I felt the same way about the shore. Believe me, that will change to a nightmare later, Kelly. Kelly also went through IVF, so they talk about that and also getting together with their husbands. Meghan tells Kelly about Heather’s party and invites her along.

Briana and Ryan are moving back to California and Vicki is making plans for the move. We flash back to all the mess with Brooks and Briana. Vicki says she doubts this would all be happening if Brooks was still in her life.

Heather calls Vicki and invites her to the party. She tells Vicki she can bring a guest and Vicki asks if she can bring Gina. Heather is surprised that Vicki didn’t sound like things were awkward. Dude, she sells real estate.

Shannon and Tamra are getting some kind of skin tightening treatment. Tamra says it hurts like a bitch, but in three months, you have a facelift. Apparently, Shannon and Tamra are good friends now. They both believe Vicki was involved in Brooks’s scam. Shannon isn’t thrilled to be going to a party with her, but says she can be cordial. Tamra wants to just sit down with Vicki and talk about it, but Shannon is more unforgiving, saying that faking an illness isn’t something she thinks she can get past.

Kelly’s mom and brother live with them. Kelly says they’re Mexican and that’s how they roll. Her husband is a lot older than she is and she says when they were dating, he was mistaken for her father, which didn’t sit well with him. I dunno. He looks pretty good. And all the women in the OC look younger than their husbands whether they are or not anyway. They also have a daughter and seem like a nice family. Kelly doesn’t seem like the type to stir the pot, but I’ll bet she takes sides.

Before Heather’s party, Gina and Vicki have a kiki. Gina looks great and I love Vicki’s haircut. Gina asks if groveling is going to be involved and Vicki asks Gina to help her through it, since she doesn’t want conflict.

Everyone arrives at the yacht Heather has chartered for the party. Tamra says her 40th birthday charter was like a fishing boat in comparison. Heather tells nearly every single person that they look gorgeous. Geez, you’re an actress. At least change it up a little. Kelly is introduced around. Shannon totally ignores Vicki, which isn’t being cordial. In her interview, she says there’s nothing Vicki could say to restore the friendship. Shannon tells Meghan that Vicki is “glomming” onto her friend, but Vicki and Kelly have already met a few times. At dinner, Meghan tells Kelly to be careful and Kelly pretty much tells her that she’ll form her own opinion. Score one for Kelly.

Heather gets up and makes a speech about the “wake up call” they had. In her interview, she says how irritating Terry can be, yet he’s the love of her life. She says they wanted to share an evening with the special people in their life – they weren’t available, so they called this group. BA-DUM-CHH! She makes a toast and everyone starts eating.

Vicki asks Heather to talk out on the deck. She thanks Heather for inviting her and asks her for forgiveness and to move on.

Next time, Heather only cares about Vivki’s involvement in the Brooks thing (can’t get rid of him), Eddie tells Tamra to stay out of Ryan’s business, and Kelly tells Shannon that she was standoffish

Southern Charm

It’s the finale, so this ought to be good.

We go back to the end of the last episode, where Thomas tells everyone off at his dinner party, they leave, and he kicks them out in retrospect.

Cooper shoves Thomas back inside. He comes back in laughing, calling them a bunch of wimps. He tells Cooper that they’re reptiles without a backbone. JD says typical Southern parties try to keep things light, but Thomas must be trying to start a new tradition. Kathryn says that Thomas was just speaking the truth and that no one is used to that or wants to hear it. She adds that Tennessee Williams wrote about it. Word.

The group goes back to one of their houses. Cameran says it wasn’t a dinner, it was a planned attack. Shep says Thomas is impulsive and when he drinks, it gets amplified. He tells everyone they should take the high road when it comes to Kathryn. This makes Landon ill. Craig says she’s just sticking up for her boyfriend, but Landon says Thomas is just her baby daddy.

Thomas asks Kathryn to stay over. Are they going for baby number three?

Craig talks to JD before work. He says he’s angry with himself for not having pursued law the way he should have. He says the bar is coming up and he doesn’t think he has enough time to study for the bar and work for JD at the same time. In his interview, JD says problem solved. So I guess Craig quit? Is that how they do it in the South?

Landon talks to her therapist about her pro and con list regarding having children. She says her husband saw her doing it, so she had him list what their lives would be like with and without children. It sounds like he really wants kids and she’s concerned that he might resent her if she doesn’t come around to his way of thinking. The therapist says that if this is due to childhood stuff, then it’s coming from fear. Cameran says she’s suffered from fear and anxiety her entire life.

Landon visits the latest addition to Dhep’s “dive bar collection.” He tells her he thinks they made a mature decision to stay friends after they gave it a go when she first came back to Charleston. He’s trying to find a nice way to tell her that he doesn’t feel the same way about her as she does about him.

Naomie is showing Craig her dress options for the Founder’s Ball. He says Naomie has changed his life and they tell each other everything. He tells her he hasn’t been completely forthright with her. He says he’s been using the work for JD as a crutch to avoid what he really wants to do. He says he wants to quit the job to study for the bat. She says she’s in.

Then I get an emergency alert monthly test on my screen. Thanks emergency alert system. I really appreciate you interrupting the show. It goes on forever and is so loud, I have to mute the TV.

Thomas meets with Whitney and JD for lunch. Whitney says he’s alienating himself from his friends. In his interview, Thomas says the message got lost in his delivery. Thomas tells them that he was in his cups and wants to make it right.

Thomas wants to use the Founder’s Ball as a vehicle to show everyone that he and Kathryn are getting it together. Kathryn says when she tried to talk to Landon calmly about things, Landon got insulting. Kathryn asks him what’s going on that she doesn’t understand. He says Landon is trying to undermine his and Kathryn’s relationship, but thinks she doesn’t really understand what she’s doing, which makes no sense. Kathryn says Thomas has to draw the line with Landon. In his interview, Thomas says he’ll say anything to placate Kathryn so that the family unit remains intact. He tells her that she is the oracle of reason and agrees.

Patricia is doing some kind of oxygen therapy. I can’t figure out how the machine works though. Whitney has come by to get some cuff-links. Everyone is getting ready for the ball. Shep says that Thomas picked on him at the dinner because up until then he had been picking on the women. Shep thinks that’s inappropriate and something for the women to sort out.

Landon doesn’t want to believe that Shep is a perpetual bachelor and says that deep down he wants the picket fence life. That may be so, but he doesn’t love you, Landon.

Landon visits Patricia, who’s allowing her to borrow some fancy stuff. Michael brings in some champagne. Landon says that Thomas called to apologize for the other night. If Landon doesn’t stop giggling in between sentences, I’m going to go out of my mind. Patricia shows her how do a “fur flip” and sit down in a fur coat. Landon borrows a really cool purple piece that Patricia bought in Monaco.

Kathryn asks if Thomas is going to apologize. He says he just wants to make sure he’s cool with everyone. When Kathryn asks about Landon, he says he’s not saying anything, but leaves out that he already did. It’s not the first time I’ve said this – a note to men – it’s not what you did that makes us so angry, but the fact you lied about it. And that includes lies of omission.

Let the ball commence! Shep walks in with Robyn, who’s a friend of Landon’s, and Landon’s reaction is worth watching the whole show. She can’t understand that if she was going by herself, why Shep wouldn’t ask her. She starts crying during her interview, but I find it difficult to feel sorry for her. He made it clear he wasn’t interested. Move on. Shep can tell that she’s disappointed, but rightly says that’s her problem.

Craig thinks everyone is fine with the Thomas thing. Cameran disagrees. When Thomas and Kathryn come in, they head straight to the bar without stopping at the tables. Kathryn sits at the table with the others while Thomas mingles. Shep comes by to say hi to Kathryn. Thomas pats Landon’s butt when he says hello, which is not missed by Kathryn, who goes to get another drink.

Kathryn approaches Landon and asks her to step in the hallway to talk. Kathryn tells Landon that she stirs the pot and tried to go after Thomas when she was pregnant with Julien. Landon runs to Thomas and says the three of them need to talk. She claims to want to squash the nonsense. Oh Lord, no wonder Kathryn gets so livid. Landon has the worst squeaky voice ever when she’s trying to make a point. Kathryn is right in that she sounds like a dolphin. Thomas insists there was never anything between him and Landon, as Landon babbles. Kathryn doesn’t believe it and tells Landon to shut-up.

Kathryn walks out. Landon babbles at Thomas, saying Kathryn can’t deal with the truth. Shep talks to Kathryn. Craig tells Landon they need to let each other speak, meaning that Landon has to let Kathryn finish a sentence before acting like Flipper. They go outside. Kathryn tells Landon she’s crazy and Landon says, no you. Kathryn tells her she needs to be accountable and she says she hasn’t done anything. Kathryn says she’s crazy then.

Kathryn calls Thomas out for cheating all over the place she tells him to tell the truth now and no more chances.

Just before we go to black, Robyn asks Shep if he thinks Landon is going to admit she slept with Thomas.

And along with Shep, I say, Whaaat?

Next time, reunion, part one.