What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Valentin sees Curtis at the MetroCourt. Curtis asks where Nina is, and Valentin wonders if Curtis is there to see her. Curtis says he’s evaluating the security system to make sure it’s on point. He asks about Windymere, and Valentin says his home is a fortress. Curtis asks if he has any idea where Nina is staying, and Valentin says she’s back home, where she belongs.

Obrecht say there’s something Nina needs to know about her daughter. Nina says she just found out her daughter was alive; there’s a lot she still has to find out. She tried to pack in a lifetime of experiences into Sasha’s visit without overwhelming her, but they have miles to go. She’s enjoying the journey, and nothing Obrecht says will diminish her joy. Obrecht suggests her joy will turn into disappointment one day. Wait and see.

Franco flips through Doc’s patient files. He sees the locked box, and takes it out. Carly asks what he’s up to. He says she almost gave him a heart attack. She says, if only, and asks why he’s ransacking Doc’s office. He says he’s doing research. He’s trying to find out why Doc would treat him like dirt. Franco wants to talk, but Doc has been putting him off, and nothing he says makes sense. Carly says that’s why she’s there too.

Not-Doc tells Ava that he thinks they should leave town. She says she’s not in any mood for a vacation, but he says he’s not talking about a vacation. Forever. He thinks they should leave Port Charles for good. She doesn’t understand. He wants to her to move away with him? He says, yes; far away, like Lisbon or Madrid. She says not long ago, he convinced her to stay. He says he didn’t want her to walk out of his life. He didn’t anticipate the opposition to their relationship, and it was before Kiki was killed. If they move, she won’t be haunted by memories, and see Kiki around every corner. He can take her away from all that. Just the two of them. They only need each other. No one will ever find them. He asks her. please say yes.

Alexis brings a big gift-wrapped package to Charlie’s. Sam says she shouldn’t have. Alexis says it’s for her sister, but she can get one for Sam. She got it for Kristina’s new home, since she found out Kristina moved out of Sam’s. She’s not judging. Kristina didn’t give her an address – she’s still not judging – and she thought Kristina would be working today. Sam had the same idea, and Alexis asks, where’s her gift? Sam says she doesn’t have a gift, but a warning about Kristina’s new home.

Sonny meets Jason at the MetroCourt. He has information about Kristina. Sonny says, when he saw her, she seemed confident and positive. Jason tells him that Sam said the same thing, but he thinks there are things Sonny might not realize. Has she mentioned Shiloh to him?

Sonny asks, who’s Shiloh? and Jason says he’s the leader of the people Kristina moved in with. Sonny says, leader? Jason says he was surprised too. Sonny thought Kristina was moving in with a group of friends, but Jason says, there’s definitely a guy in charge. He calls himself Shiloh. Sonny asks what he was called before that. Kristina approaches the table and says she can’t believe it. Why? Does Jason want her dad to worry? Jason thinks there’s something he should know. Kristina says she’s giving Jason her power. She allowed herself to react negatively, but she can change that, and focus on the positive energy from collecting food for the soup kitchen. Sonny asks if they’re the same people she spent Thanksgiving with. She says yes. She’s happy, and perfectly safe. Jason says he and Sam don’t think so.

Alexis says, yesterday, Sam was giving her blessing, and took her anxiety about Kristina down a notch. Should she put Kristina back on top? Sam says that’s why she’s there; to talk to Kristina. Alexis asks if it has to do with the serial killer, but Sam says, it’s not that bad. Alexis asks what happened between yesterday and today; what’s going on? She needs to know.

Nina says the only person disappointing her is Obrecht. She went along with Obrecht’s delusional plan to hold Peter captive, and thought she could be trusted. Obrecht says she’s trying to help. She doesn’t want Nina to end up with a broken heart. Nina says Britt broke Obrecht’s heart; her daughter won’t be doing that to her. Obrecht says she taught Britt to be pragmatic. She’s out of prison, and Obrecht is grateful. Nina says Britt betrayed Obrecht to save her own skin. She’s done nothing to alienate Sasha. Obrecht asks who’s to say Sasha won’t alienate Nina?

Franco says it’s unusual for he and Carly to be in agreement. She says they might both be there for the same reason, but they’re dealing with it differently. She showed up to talk to Doc; he’s ransacking Doc’s office. He has no business looking through patients’ private files. Franco says he’s looking for his own file. Carly asks if he wants to switch therapists that bad, but Franco says it’s not his choice. Doc doesn’t want to see him anymore. He spilled his guts to Doc, and now he’s telling Franco to get lost.

Ava says not-Doc has patients who rely on him, and good friends he’s known for years. He says he thought about that already. His associates can take over his patients. He’s been so focused on her; his patients have taken a backseat anyway. All he wants is to be with her. As for his friends, they turned on him when he left Laura. With friends like that… She can open a gallery anywhere in the world. Investors and artists will appreciate what she can do for them. He’ll do anything to make a life with her. She says he makes it sound wonderful, possible, and exactly what she needs to heal. But he’s forgetting about Avery. She couldn’t leave her little girl.

Curtis says, Nina and Valentin are back together? That’s unexpected, since she seemed determined to stay away from him. Valentin says when they love each other, why stay apart? Curtis says finding Nina’s daughter must have been the key to her heart. Valentin says, it didn’t hurt. He thanks Curtis for his help. He made Nina happy, and that makes Valentin happy. He’ll keep her safe from the killer, and anyone else intent on harming her.

Nina says Obrecht is giving her vague hints on how Sasha will disappoint and hurt her, when she knows nothing about Sasha. Why is she doing it? Obrecht hates to see Nina wallow in the blindness that accompanies love. She needs to keep her eyes open, and not be taken in again. Obrecht was aware of Faison’s true nature, but Nina refuses to see Valentin for who he is. Nina asks how dare she compare Valentin with Faison? Faison killed her brother. Obrecht says, Valentin killed Laura’s son. How is he better than Faison?

Sam tells Alexis that Kristina is crazy about Shiloh. He’s the head of the charity Kristina is working with. She shows Alexis a picture of him on her tablet, and says Dawn of Day is also the name of the house Kristina is living in. She says he turned her life around. Alexis wonders why Sam doesn’t like him. Sam asks what’s in the box, and Alexis tells her, that’s not even an artful dodge. She expects better from Sam. She wants to get 100% behind Kristina, but it sounds like she’s in over her head. Sam thinks that could be the case.

Sonny says Jason told him that’s the guy who runs the organization Kristina loves so much; Shiloh. Kristina tells him that he says it in an ominous way, like Shiloh must be running from the cops. Jason says he checked, and Shiloh has no police record. Sonny says if Kristina doesn’t want Jason telling him, she should tell him herself. She says his name used to be David Henry, and he went by Hank. He changed his life after Drew saved him in Afghanistan. Drew pulled him out of a fire fight. When he came back to the states, he started a charity, but Jason and Sam think he’s too good to be true. They’re questioning him for no reason. Shiloh has taught her so much. She loves helping people; it makes her happy. Sonny is happy to hear that. She says she gets it. They’re looking out for her, and she appreciates that. She hugs Sonny, and leaves. Sonny asks Jason, what’s really going on? Jason says, Shiloh isn’t just connected to Drew, but he’s also linked to Sam. She was married to his father.

Ava tells not-Doc, as wonderful as it would be to get away from hateful people, she wouldn’t want to leave her daughter. He says it was thoughtless of him. He has an easy fix. Take Avery; they can be a family. Ava says, that’s not possible. He asks, why? and she says, because of Sonny and Carly.

Carly sees how disconcerting it is to Franco. Franco says Doc coaxed horrible memories out of him, then said they’d plateaued. He doesn’t want see Franco, and is pawning him off on another therapist. Carly says Doc is in crisis. He’s pushing everyone away, including his wife, and hanging out with Ava. If that’s not a cry for help, she doesn’t know what is. He’s doing it to everyone. He’s blowing her off, and she has unanswered questions about Ferncliff. She says Franco taught art therapy there. Has he ever encountered a Wilson Ritter?

Nina tells Obrecht that Valentin killed Nikolas in self-defense. He’s nothing like the freak Faison was. And what does that have to do with her daughter? Obrecht says Nina should be alert. She’s looking out for what she has left of her family. Nina says Obrecht’s love is the most hurtful thing about her, and asks her to leave until she’s ready to speak with her again. Obrecht tells Nina to remember what she said. In the reception area, Obrecht runs into Valentin. Valentin asks what she said to Nina, and she says nothing that will warrant triggering her fail-safe. Nina is convinced there are similarities in Nathan and Sasha, and that will only make it more crushing when Nina discovers Sasha isn’t her daughter.

Franco says he dealt with a lot of patients at Ferncliff, but none of them were super chatty. Does she have something else for him to work with? Carly says the patient knew Morse code. Did he ever hear the staff mention him. Supposedly, he was the worst of worst. Franco says they didn’t allow him to work with the violent patients, saying they were too far gone – which is crap – but it kept him from getting stabbed with a paintbrush. She asks if he’s ever heard about him when doing research, but he says, no. She says there’s no mention of him online. How was he able to avoid publicity? Franco suggests he was lucky. Publicity follows him like toilet paper on his shoe. Maybe the answers are in this box.

Not-Doc says Ava can make arrangements. Sonny and Carly should be amenable to longer visiting periods. She asks if he’s met them. She’s pretty sure amenable isn’t in their vocabulary. She had to fight to see Avery on a regular basis in the first place. Not-Doc says it would be in Avery’s best interest for them to agree, but Ava says Sonny doesn’t think so, and keeps threatening to take her back to court. With Kiki gone, she can’t handle being without Avery. Not-Doc says he’ll talk to Sonny, and make him rethink his position. He can be very persuasive.

Sonny asks if Kristina knows Sam was married to Shiloh’s father. Jason says he and Sam confronted Shiloh, but he claimed it never occurred to him. Before he was on their radar, Sam was receiving emails from someone who clearly knows her past. Shiloh said he wasn’t involved, but who else could it be? Shiloh is using Kristina as payment, and giving her individual attention.

Sam asks if Alexis remembers the obituary she got in the mail. Alexis asks what that has to do with Kristina, and Sam says, a lot. Kristina walks in, and says Sam and Jason are on the same page. She just left Jason who was warning Sonny about Shiloh. Alexis says she wasn’t expecting to see Sam. She has a present for Kristina. She hands her the gift, and says, it cooks fast using less energy. Kristina says it’s incredibly thoughtful, and thanks her. Alexis hopes it comes in handy. Sam tells Kristina that she’s sorry it got heated. Kristina thanks Sam for the apology, and says she’s there for the unused perishables for the soup kitchen. Sam says she wants to tell Alexis something that happened, but thinks they both need to hear it. Kristina asks if it’s a dire warning because Shiloh used to have another name. Sam says, more than that. She used to run a con when she was younger. She’s marry rich guys, drain their bank accounts, and disappear. She married Henry Archer, Shiloh’s father, and is afraid he’s using Kristina to get back at her.

Carly tells Franco that she’s taking the simple route, and will ask Doc when he gets there. Obviously, he’s having a difficult time, but that doesn’t negate the good he did for them. Maybe Franco should just accept it and move on. Franco says he doesn’t want another therapist. He trusted Doc, and Doc bailed on him. He doesn’t want to open a vein to a stranger. He tells Carly that his file isn’t there. Maybe the Doc’s patients aren’t the only ones with secrets.

Ava tells not-Doc not to take it the wrong way, but he’s a gentle soul, and far too civilized to go up against Sonny and Carly. He says under the right circumstances, he’s a force to be reckoned with.  He asks if she wants to give up. She says she’d go to the ends of the earth with him, if they could have Avery with them. But short of Sonny and Carly falling off the face of the earth, she doesn’t see that happening.

Jason tells Sonny that he can’t be sure; anything is possible. Sonny hopes he’s wrong. He doesn’t want Kristina to think he’s questioning her judgement. Jason just thought he’d give Sonny a heads up, and Sonny says to tell him if Jason uncovers anything else. No one is using his daughter.

Sam tells Kristina and Alexis that she started receiving messages about her past. Kristina says she thinks Shiloh is responsible, and Sam says it seems like a possibility. Kristina says not if she knew him. He has no ill will toward the woman who stole from his father; he wrote about it in his book. He didn’t mention a name, since she used an alias anyway. Sam asks if she doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that Kristina ended up in his son’s group. Kristina wonders how Sam is making it about her. It could have been anyone; she doesn’t care. All she knows is that Shiloh said she was a bridge to his betterment. Something you get over on your way to a better life. Just like they’re a bridge to her betterment.

Valentin tells Obrecht that Nina’s daughter brought her joy, but Obrecht says it was a lie to get Nina back in his bed. When exposed, it will break her heart. Valentin says Obrecht is the only one who knows, and if it’s exposed, he’ll break more than her heart. Obrecht say, what if Sasha slips? Nina is quite intelligent, and not everyone is as good as they are at subterfuge. Valentin says Sasha is back in Chappaqua, but Obrecht says, it’s a temporary solution. Nina is pushing to see the woman she thinks is her daughter.

Nina is glad Sasha answered. She just wanted to hear Sasha’s voice, and tell her that Paris still on the table.

Valentin tells Obrecht to Just focus on keeping her mouth shut. He’s aware of the letters she has in place, so they’re at a stalemate. She doesn’t know about him, and he doesn’t know about her. She gets in the elevator, and the door closes.

Valentin goes into Nina’s office. She says she missed him. He asks what she and Obrecht talked about. Nina says Obrecht predicted her daughter would disappoint her, and compared Valentin to Faison. She made Nina feel like her daughter would be snatched from her, and Valentin would let her down. Valentin asks what he can do to reassure her, but she says he did already. She’s also spending two weeks in Paris with Sasha. He asks, what about Charlotte; Nina is her champion. She asks if Valentin doesn’t want her to go. He does, but he and Charlotte need her.

On the docks, Obrecht asks Franco if it’s wise to be out alone with a serial killer on the loose. He says the last time they were there, she knocked him out. She says he had kind words about their friendship because he was trying to prevent her from killing Peter. He says, that didn’t make it less sincere. She says it’s good to see him, and he asks how she beat the charges. She says, it helps know other people’s secrets.

Not-Doc sees his office door open. Carly is there, and he says it’s late for therapy, but she’s not there for therapy. He’d said the Ferncliff patient’s name was Wilson Ritter. If he’s a sociopath or serial killer, why is there no mention of him anywhere. Is he trying hide something about Wilson or Ferncliff? Not-Doc says maybe she couldn’t find it because someone else decided not glorify him. It would be refreshing not to reward him with fame. Carly asks if he did that.

Ava sees Sonny, and asks to discuss something important about Avery. She needs to leave town. There are too many memories of Kiki. He says she can leave, but that doesn’t mean she gets extra time. She says she’s not being clear. She’d like to relocate to another country, but Sonny would have to let her have Avery for extended periods. He asks, how extended? and she says, weeks; maybe a month. People who share customers do it all the time. It’s common and it work. They’ve been working well lately, and she asks if he would consider it.

Sam asks Kristina to consider the possibility that Shiloh is as much of a con as she was. Kristina says they’re like reactionaries, who protest art and movies before they’ve even seen them. Shiloh is trying to affect change and growth in the individual. You can change the world when you change yourself. She asks if Sam and Alexis would come to a seminar that might reevaluate their attitude toward him. She looks at a list, and says, loving without judgment. Jason comes in, and she says, perfect timing. She saw a seminar for him and Sam; handling personal relationships. They should check it out. If they want what’s best for her, explore what she’s discovering. Until then, she doesn’t have much to say. She thanks Alexis and leaves.

Alexis says, some of what Kristina said made sense, and truthfully, it’s the calmest discussion they’ve ever had. It’s a little woo-woo, but it doesn’t seem be doing any harm. She’ll check it out if Sam is game. Sam is. Attending a seminar is a good way to let Shiloh know they’re watching him.

Valentin suggests to Nina that they go to Paris during Charlotte’s summer break. She says they can go as a family, and he says it will be great.

Obrecht asks why Franco is brooding out there. Franco says someone bailed on him, and he’s figuring out his next move. She asks who betrayed him, and he says someone who knew all his secrets, but he doesn’t want to see anyone else tied to a bed. She says, secrets can be destructive in the wrong hands. He asks what secrets she’s keeping, and she says ones that affect important people.

Not-Doc suggests Carly stop focusing on Ritter and Ferncliff, and focus on what’s important – her family. She asks if he’s saying she’s neglecting them, and he says she’s pouring out a pattern of obsession. She was so obsessed and out of control, her family believed she pushed Nelle down the stairs. Don’t let her hate and fixation drive her to a frenzy. She says, this isn’t the same thing, but he says she’s waiting for him in the middle of the night to tell him that he’s lying. Stop thinking about the pitiful patient, and focus on her kids; Josslyn, Michael, and little Avery. She tells him, nice try, but she’ll get to the bottom of this. She leaves, and he takes out the box. His list is in it, and he writes Carly on the bottom.

Sonny asks Ava, how far away, but she’s not sure yet. She tells him, Europe. He says Avery can stay there and she can visit, but Ava says he can’t understand how different it is there without Kiki. He says he understands. He misses Morgan and Kiki. He’s not adding Avery to the list of those he’s loved and lost. He walks away, and she calls not-Doc. She tells him Sonny was hateful. He said no just like she said he would. He wouldn’t even consider it, and threw Morgan in her face. He’ll never let her leave.

Not-Doc adds Sonny to his list.

Tomorrow, Finn asks how Chase got into this, Josslyn asks Cameron why he’s on probation, and Franco asks Aiden how long he’s liked baking.

Vanderpump Rules

The remains of the party are strewn about, although Kristen cleaned up most of it. Schwartz is under the table, supposedly looking for his contact. Katie tells Brittany that Stassi almost made it through the party without freaking out. Kristen says, it was going great. Katie says, things were winding down, and Beau just wanted to kick it with them. She doesn’t understand the problem. Stassi called him fifteen times, then came out and screamed at him. She ordered him into the bedroom, and he was crying, saying he wasn’t her punching bag. Kristen says, that’s how Stassi spent the remainder of her birthday night.

Stassi is sitting outside, when Beau comes out with coffee. She’s sorry. Beau says she d*ck-punched his heart. Whatever that means. Stassi doesn’t want be mean. He says he tried to leave, and she lost it. She says that sets her off; it’s terrifying when he walks away. He says they had nothing to accomplish with the argument, and he walked away for his own sanity, and she freaked out. He says she has to figure out what makes her turn on him. She doesn’t know; that’s what scares her. She’s concerned he’s going to leave her because of how she acts. In her interview, Stassi says she won’t find someone like him again. She has to be careful not to screw it up. He asks how they can change It, but she doesn’t know. She cries, and he holds her. In Beau’s interview, he says he looks at every fight like a learning experience. Stassi calls herself an erect d*ck. Okay… Beau says he’s not walking away. They’ll work it out. He’s in love with her.

Meanwhile James goes to the ice cream place and hunts down his friend Arthur. Arthur used to be the PUMP manager when James worked there. He’s gone to him when his life wasn’t going the way he needs it to go. We flash back Arthur asking James what it told him when he got fired, and James saying, don’t drink. Arthur asks how not drinking worked for James. James says it worked, but after a while he fell back to his James ways. He wants Lisa to see a difference, and to see a difference himself. Arthur says they’ve had this conversation before, and he’ll believe it when he sees it. He’s a big believer in mantras. He asks for three words that James would use to describe being sober. James says, honest, caring, and driven. Arthur says, an honest, caring, driven man wouldn’t take a drink, knowing what will happen. James says he wants to be honest and caring to those he loves, and driven in his own accomplishments.

Lisa has a staff meeting. She wants everyone’s opinion on the James fiasco. When there’s a shake-up, she likes to bring everyone together. It’s important to let them know she’s listening. James’s behavior is unacceptable, and she’s keeping the lines of communication open. Peter talks about how everyone is doing a great job, and he’s glad to see Jax is back. Tom wonders about possible employees for TomTom. Maybe some people want to pick up a couple of shifts when they open. Lisa says he’s thinking like a businessman. She tells them, James has been let go. Peter knows he acted out during Pride, but says Tuesday nights are one of their best nights. In his interview, Jax says, James is okay, but he’s not Skrillex. He can find someone with an accent and iPod who could do the job without insulting his fiancé and calling Katie fat. The manager, whose name I never remember, says, from a business point of view… She shrugs, and Brittany says she doesn’t appreciate only looking at it that way. She’s not thinking of their feelings. Lisa is like, hey, but Brittany says she’s never been disrespectful. She’s mortified, and it’s hard not to get emotional. Lala suggests not working Tuesdays and Thursdays. Scheana says the tips have tripled because of James. She’s not defending him; just trying to see both sides. Jax doesn’t give a sh*t. Lisa says he can roll his eyes, but he’s lucky to be there as well. He doesn’t have to be. He says he’ll just be quiet, but she says she can see his attitude and body language. She heaves a huge sigh. Billie says Kristen is a trigger, and Katie tells her not to blame James’s issues on Kristen. Lala says it doesn’t give him the right to call her fat and call Lala a whore. In her interview, Lala says no one holds James accountable. His girlfriend is a yes man, and so are his friends. He’s surrounded by people who let him slide, and it’s a recipe for disaster. She thinks Lisa shouldn’t employ James. Lisa says she doesn’t support talking badly about each other or fat shaming. Aren’t they more evolved than that? James isn’t working there, and she doesn’t support how he spoke or rapped. In her interview, Lisa says it would be easy to give James his job back, but how women are treated is of paramount importance. If James isn’t echoing sentiment, how can he work for her?

At her apartment, Stassi asks Beau if she looks literary chic. She’s wearing a dark, fitted sweater with a white shirt color peeking out. He tells her she looks like Stephen King’s daughter; she just needs a knife and some blood. She’s going to be SKYPE-ing with her editor, Natasha. In her interview, she tells us she got a book deal for Next Level Basic. It’s about embracing your basic bitch; it’s like a manifesto. Natasha says she’ll keep in touch to get a sense of how the writing is going. She’s thinking September 1^st is a good time for the book to come out. Stassi says she’ll make it happen. When the call ends, she hyperventilates, and tells Beau she’s sweating. She says she has so much else to do. Kristen’s mom is in town, and she’s having a mom/girls night. Katie and Stassi’s mom are best friends. They love to drink wine and gossip. They’re basically older versions of Katie and Stassi. Stassi says her mom doesn’t care how she acts or makes uncomfortable. She wonders if that’s her future. Beau says it’s his future. Great.

Giggy! Lisa and Ken sit outside at SUR, and Lisa wonders what they’re waiting for. She tells Ken that they’re having a party on the 11^th at TomTom. It’s not technically an opening, but Daily Mail TV has asked if they’d host their annual party host. They’re not ready, but they’ve committed to it. The invitations have gone out. In his interview, Tom says that Pandora has taken over the cocktail menu, but nothing has been finalized. Lisa asked them to come up with three cocktails to possibly serve at the party, and there’s still a chance they could go on the menu. Lisa and Ken taste various cocktails, and Lisa gives advice on a few. In Schwartz’s interview, he says they have twenty-five to thirty cocktails that they love, and they want to deliver. Lisa thinks one looks too healthy, and Tom says it has matcha tea in it. Apparently, it tastes better than it looks. She likes it. The last one has hibiscus in it. I’ve never tasted that, and flower-flavored anything always seems weird to me, but Lisa loves that one, saying, it’s off the hook. She tells them, good job; they surprised her. In her interview, Lisa says she’s not a mixologist, but some of them were damn good.

She says the next step is the part she adores, apart from making the food; making it look beautiful. And she the perfect person to do it with – Nick Alain. We flash back to her meeting with him in Las Vegas. She says he’s strict, and wants no one but them in there. His first exposure to the Toms was after they’d been drinking for three days in Vegas. We flash back to that. She says after the installation, she’ll bring them in for the reveal. It’s not finished, but they’ll get the idea. She asks if they can carry her out.

Katie, Brittany, and Stassi go to Rage Ground, an establishment where Stassi says, you get to break sh*t, and there are no consequences. She’s going to be living out her fantasy. They’re outfitted in hazmat type suits and helmets with masks. They go into a room with all kinds of stuff to break, like bottles and printers. I think about how I’d like to smash my printer. Stassi says she’s getting all the rage out of her system, from the boyfriends who have cheated on her to not enough sides of ranch being delivered with the pizza. She breaks things because she was an angry drunk on her birthday. Afterward, she says, it’s better than sex. They feel lighter, and everyone is in a good mood. Stassi wonders if Jax was on Brittany’s mind. Katie says it’s something she wanted to talk about. It got bad, then they got back together, and when his dad passed away, they swept everything under the rug. Brittany hates that people are saying it’s only because Jax is playing the dad card. Stassi says getting over betrayal takes a long time, and Brittany says she’s still working on it. In Brittany’s interview, she says she wants people to believe in their relationship. Stassi says Jax seems to be listening to Brittany now. Katie asks if they’ve seen the live post from Scheana’s date; she’s with Robby from The Bachelorette. Stassi says Scheana loves The Bachelor people.

Scheana tells us that Robby is a former Bachelorette contestant during JoJo’s season, whatever that means to you. She met him at SUR when he was there with Adam. They roomed together at college. She says he’s supportive, reliable, gorgeous, and those abs – yes please. He makes her feel special. They go down that clear slide on the side of LA’s tallest building. If things keep going well, she sees herself falling for him. Stassi says Adam is a cheesy douche. Katie says he and Robby were roommates, and she amends that to the cheesiest group of dudes ever. In Scheana’s interview, she says Adam is gorgeous, but friendship was the only option, since he won’t give in. Stassi says Scheana is dating best friends, and not having sex with either one. Back at Scheana’s date, she tells Robby he’s not her type; he’s too perfect. They kiss, and he says, still not her type? She says, nope. They kiss some more. In her interview, she says he’s showing interest, and she thinks he’s there for the right reasons, because she forgot what show she’s on. Stassi says Scheana is living her real life Bachelorette.

Lisa says Nick has put everything together in his factory, and he’s bringing it to TomTom. She’s excited. She tells Nick they need so much muscle, maybe they should have the Toms help. That’s a hard no. Nick thinks they’ll be too excited, and they have too much to do. In Lisa’s interview, she says Nick needs to focus without distractions, and those distractions include Tom and Tom. In his interview, Schwartz says she told them explicitly don’t come, but he thinks it’s a test. He tells Tom, it’s a tease. They’re one hundred and fifty feet away. He has professional blue balls. They walk toward the restaurant, but Lisa intervenes, saying they need to have respect for Nick, and give him space. In her interview, Lisa knows they’re excited, but she want it to be a surprise, like taking the blindfold off. She tells the workers they’re on a deadline. Tom suggests they celebrate at Kristen’s T-shirt party. Schwartz thinks they should lurk, but Tom says, no.

Kristen is having the relaunch of her james.mae line. She’s invited friends, family, and media outlets, hoping to get the buzz going. She tried the launch before, but it didn’t work out. Scheana squeaks when she sees Kristen’s mom. Katie says, in additions to Kristen’s mom being in town, her mom and Stassi’s mom are in town. Sh*t’s about to get weird.

Lala talks to Ariana about having a conversation with James. She feels she owes it to the friendship they used to have. Her dad never held a grudge, and she needs to take on her dad’s heart, sit him down, and be caring and feeling. She needs to do it for her dad. She unblocks James, and calls him. He asks why she’s calling, and she says because she’s a human with a beating heart. She thought she’d reach out, and asks if he has time to chat tomorrow. He asks what she’s trying to get out of this. He doesn’t trust her. Which confuses me since it should be the other way around. She wants talk in person. She says they don’t have to be friends, but human beings who care for other human beings. He says he’ll see her tomorrow. She tells Ariana that she’s not wearing lashes tomorrow. I don’t know if this is because she might cry, or James just isn’t worth her putting them on.

Brittany tells Jax about getting out the anger. She says they were talking afterward, and Katie wanted to make sure they were working on their relationship. She hopes they don’t get almost to the wedding, and end up having the same problem she and Schwartz did. In his interview, Jax says Katie calling Brittany out is like throwing stones in a glass house. He says they don’t know what happens behind closed doors. He has to remember that when he’s talking about James. Brittany hates Lisa being disappointed in her. She’s never chiming in again. Jax says she has to stand up for herself. That’s one reason why he’s her fiancé. She says she loves him.

Ariana understands why Lisa is keeping the Toms away, but the whole thing was that they needed to listen and learn. How can they do that when they’re not allowed to be there? Tom tells her that Lisa loved the cocktails. Schwartz says that the Daily Mail asked James to DJ. We see a clip of Lisa saying she promised Katie that she and James wouldn’t cross paths, and Tom saying Katie doesn’t have to, but Schwarz says she’s his plus one for life. Aww! Schwartz tells Katie that James will be in the booth the whole time.

Stassi’s mom, Dayna, talks to Beau, saying he was brave at party. She left when the meltdown started. She doesn’t want him to go anywhere. She thinks he’s perfect for her daughter. Her clock is ticking, and she needs grandchildren. Beau tells Stassi they’re talking about babies. Dayna doesn’t want Stassi to be herself and mess it up. She hopes Beau is strong enough to go the distance. In her interview, Stassi wonders why her mom is giving her relationship advice. She’s never seen her have a healthy one. Dayna says Beau is way above Stassi, and Stassi wonders what parent says that? Dayna tells Beau that Stassi hasn’t frozen her eggs yet. I suddenly realize that I have the exact same sweatshirt Beau is wearing. I’m not saying a dude can’t wear a sweatshirt that has flowers on it, but I have the exact same one. Dayna is concerned that Beau hasn’t seen Stassi at her worst. Stassi says he’s seen the worst part, and Dayna asks if she’s sure.

James meets Lala. She borrowed daddy’s Rolls for the day, and likes it. She thinks she needs one. James says she unblocked him. He doesn’t know where to start, and she tells him, look in her eyes. They need to put everything aside, and get to the bottom of this. Why does he thinks he needs to attack at such a vicious level? He says, the alcohol, she says she’s the same way, but at some point, they have to realize they’re too old for that. They can’t be attacking people’s girlfriends or boyfriends, and calling them fat and a whore. He says he doesn’t remember everything. He knows that’s no excuse. He’s been helping his mom financially, and putting his brother through school. He misses their friendship. In his interview, James says he doesn’t know what’s close, and now they’re not, and it’s hitting him. He can’t clean the slate overnight. He asks if he can have time. He needs to fix himself first before he can fix anything else. He says she surprised him, and thanks her. She says they’ll all be okay. They talk music, and James asks if she wants to get in the studio again. She does.

Going into the restaurant, Dayna says she hopes her daughter grows up to be half the woman Kristen is. What? Is she drunk already? They go in to dinner, and Kristen’s mom, Faye, toasts to her. They toast to hot moms and hot daughters. Kristen checks her receipts, and says she made $9018 from the launch. She wondered what Dayna and Beau were talking about. Dayna says she stalked Beau like a hamster in Habitrail. Stassi doesn’t know what a Habitrail is, and I wonder if I should feel old. Dayna says she prays Stassi doesn’t take old baggage into new relationships. Stassi is getting annoyed. This is like last night, when Beau suggested Stassi’s issues come from old boyfriends, but Dayna said she’s always been like this. Her mother is always contradicting herself; she’d just said it was because of old boyfriends. Dayna tells Stassi that she’s going through menopause, and never cries, but Stassi says she’s always cried. This woman hasn’t even been on the scene that long, and I can tell she’s a crier. Kristen says Stassi is stuck in her bitchy place, and she hates that. Stassi says she’s putting her hands up, and Dayna says she needs help breathing. Kristen whines that no one babies her, and says Stassi is in a bad mood. Katie says Kristen is the one who started it, and Dayna suggests they all stop thinking about themselves, and think about how they’re all together. Stassi says she has to feel her feelings, and Dayna asks if she can feel them later. I laugh, partly because I can’t believe Stassi has had to deal with this woman her whole life. Stassi says, no, she can’t, and Dayna stomps off. Faye and Teri follow her. She starts bawling in the hallway, wailing that she feels like an outsider. Katie suggests that Stassi find a way to make her mom feel special. Dayna says she needs be held, and told she’s loved. Stassi says she loves her mom. In her interview, Katie says, the situation feels familiar. We flash back to Stassi pitching one of her many fits.

In Stassi’s interview, she says it feels like she’s watching her past and future worlds colliding. She has freak-outs like her mom, and sometimes has the victim mentality. Everything about tonight sucks. It all sucks. And she’s scared one day that will be her.

Next time, Tom plays the trumpet badly, Lisa tells Brittany to show respect, Brittany freaks out, and Billie gripes about not being included.

😠 I have a few things to say about Stassi’s mom. I like Stassi. She seems like the kind of friend I would have had at her age. She can be dramatic, but she’s mad smart, and has a wicked sense of humor. The former is why I’m surprised she hasn’t seen it herself. Her mom is where she gets it. This woman is toxic. I’m not saying she’s a bad person, although I think she should stay away from the alcohol, weed, or whatever the hell she’s doing. It doesn’t suit her. And she is a bad parent in several ways. She wanted Stassi to do her job – hold her and tell her that she loved her. I’m not saying that should never be done by a child, but Stassi had just ruined her own birthday – and owned up to it. She’s the one who deserved a pat on the head, not her inappropriate mother. I also have the feeling this has been going on her whole life. On top of it, in every single scene, Dayna belittled her own child. While I’ll be the first to admit there’s the magic of editing, none of it should have happened. She embarrassed Stassi at the party, by talking about Beau’s package, and intimated that Stassi had better not screw it up. Then when they were at Kristen’s launch, she wouldn’t shut up about how Stassi wasn’t good enough for Beau, had a screwed up personality, and she hoped he understood he was in for a lifetime of a nightmare. Putting the cherry on that cake, she told Beau her clock was ticking. She’s definitely an attention seeker – look out when she talks with her hands, which is always – and managed to make everything about her in some way. Which brings us to the dinner. Wow. Talk about a drama queen. The other two moms should have left her to cry it out by herself. I guarantee she wouldn’t have been gone long. I’m appalled that Kristen is encouraging her behavior, just because Dayna is being complimentary, and suggesting that Stassi isn’t as good as Kristen. Again putting Stassi down. Why isn’t Kristen standing up for her friend? I’m surprised Beau doesn’t see it either, since he’s no slouch in the brains department. I hope Stassi doesn’t lose him, but regardless, keep going to therapy, girlfriend. You’ll figure it out sooner or later, and decide what to do about it. Keep doing you, but try not to drink so much on your next birthday.

🐹 It’s Still Around…

The original style Habitrail.

The Habitrail of Today. Scaled back and not too exciting.

Now, that’s a Habitrail.

🎢 The Slide…

And some of LA.