Tag Archives: Stormy May Day

May 7, 2024 – Carly Tells Jason That Sonny’s In Trouble, Kyle’s Whiskey Launch Ends the VanderSeason, Down In the Valley & Stormy

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina is at the MetroCourt with Valentin when Sonny walks in, and they exchange a glance. Valentin asks if she’s okay and she says she’s fine. She’s not sure Sonny is though.

Sonny sits with Jordan and asks if he’s late, but she says she’s early. He asks, how’s Molly and TJ? and she says, a little jumpy, expectant parents. He says he hears her, and she asks, how’s Kristina? He tells Jordan, she says being pregnant isn’t what she expected… it’s better. He thanks her for meeting him, and she says, he told her that he had a proposal. He says he wants to make a significant donation to the city of Port Charles.

Willow meets Drew at the MetroCourt bar and thanks him for coming. They hug and he says, absolutely. He guesses this means she made a decision. She says she thought it through and talked it over with Michael, and she’d be honored to be the spokesperson for the New Tomorrow Institute. (Sounds like a cult or something sci/fi.)

As Anna is dealing with her new apartment, Bennet walks in. She says, this is unexpected, and he says he was doing a training exercise. Dex walks in with another young man, both carrying file boxes. He asks Anna where she wants this.

Laura waits in the visiting room at Pentenville, when Heather is wheeled in. Heather thanks the guard and says she can go, but the guard says, it’s procedure. Heather says she understands, and the guard says, especially for someone with an extensive history of escape. Heather says she’s kind of a celebrity around here. It’s sort of flattering. Laura asks how she’s feeling, and Heather says, a lot better. The new hip is still healing, but it’s a lot less painful than the old one. Laura says she’s glad to hear it, and Heather says she doesn’t miss those rashes or the whole not being able to breathe thing. She asks if Laura is here to give her the lowdown on Ace. She wouldn’t hate prison nearly so much if only she could see her grandson.

Carly goes to the coffee warehouse looking for Jason, and he comes out and asks, what’s wrong? which says a lot about their relationship. She says, it’s Sonny. He’s in trouble.

Jordan says, a significant donation, and Sonny asks if it surprises her. She says, not at all. He has a long and impressive history of philanthropy. She can think of three programs off the top of her head that would benefit from his support. He asks why he gets the impression that she doesn’t want to take it, and she says, why does he think? He says, any donation from him is coming from a legitimate enterprise and also investments, and she says she figured, but one needs to be sure. He asks if one needs to ask him any more questions, and she says, just one. Why come to her? He says, because she’s the Deputy Mayor and she’s going to know right where to put his money. And they both have children who are having a baby together, and that means a lot to him.

Valentin asks, how are things progressing with Willow? and Nina says, incrementally. Willow came into Drew’s office when they were going over the Crimson budget, and when she went to leave, Willow stopped her. He asks what she said, and Nina tells him that she said, if Nina and Drew could manage to be civil to one another after everything Nina did to him, then maybe she was holding on to her anger at Nina a little too long, and just maybe she could let some of those bad feelings go. He says, wow. That seems more than incremental. She says she doesn’t want to get her hopes up too high, but right? and he asks what she said. She tells him that she thanked Willow for saying that and got the hell out of there before she started making lunch plans and offering to babysit. He looks down and she asks what she did. He says, she’s fine. He’s just worried about what poison Drew is putting in Willow’s ear about her. She says, he’s not. Not if he knows what’s good for him.

Drew says he can’t tell Willow how happy and honored he is that she wants to work with the New Tomorrow Institute, and she says, great. He says, it’s just that there’s been something that’s kind of bugging him. He knows he sprung this on her out of nowhere, and it just occurred to him that maybe she felt pressured to say yes, because… She says, because he went to Greenland and rescued her Aunt Liesl and brought her aunt back to Port Charles in time to save her life, and he says, yeah. He would never want her to feel a sense of obligation. She doesn’t owe him anything. She says she literally owes him her life, and he says, that’s why he’s having second thoughts.

Anna says she told Bennet that she took today off so that she could move into her new apartment, and he says, she did. She says, now he’s assigned all the new cadets to help her move? and he says, just a few boxes. She says, but he’s not allowing them to use the elevator. He’s making them bring said boxes up three flights of stairs. He says, you can’t get a good cardiovascular workout on an elevator, can you? and she says, no. She really appreciates the gesture, but she’s telling him, if she gets in trouble with internal affairs, she’s so taking him down with her. He says, this is his doing, and he takes full responsibility, so if he does go down for this, she’ll be in the clear with some shiny new recruits in the best shape of their young lives.

Carly tells Jason that she can’t have Donna staying at Sonny’s. With Ava staying there and Sonny going on and on about how she’s a traitor, it’s not good for Donna emotionally. Jason says, it’s reasonable, and Carly says she went to tell Sonny, but Ava was there and tried kicking her out, which is crazy. It’s like Ava thinks she’s mistress of the manor or something. He says, maybe she thinks she is, and Carly says, Sonny was furious. And she expected that, but she thought once he got past his initial reaction, he would understand her position and respect it. But that’s not what happened. He just became more and more irrational. He even threatened to take her to family court, which is absurd. Jason says, that’s crazy. He has to know that he would lose that. She says, he should and because he didn’t, it made her think, is Sonny off his meds? He says he thought about that too, and she says she asked him. He swears he’s taking his medication. She even went into his bathroom and went into his medicine drawer. She checked his prescriptions, and it looks like he’s taking him. He asks how Sonny reacted to that, and she tells him, he said, just because they disagree about what to do with Donna, that doesn’t mean he’s going off his meds. And he has a point. She may hate the way Sonny’s living and the choices he’s making, but that doesn’t mean he’s headed for a breakdown.

Laura says she wanted to tell Heather thatAce did the cutest thing, and Heather says she’s sure everything he does is the cutest. Laura says, it’s true, but he sort of outdid himself with this one. She’s humming him a lullaby, and just as he’s about to fall asleep, he starts to try and sing along. Heather laughs, and Laura says, he starts making his own little sounds to the music. Heather says, that is so wonderful. He’s already marching to his own drummer. Runs in their family, she guesses. Laura agrees, and Heather says, Laura wanted to tell her that? Like when it happened, Laura thought, I have to tell Ace’s crazy grandma about this? Laura says she didn’t think about it quite like that, but yes. She wanted to share that with Heather. In fact – she takes out an envelope – she knows this isn’t the same as seeing him in person – she takes a photo out of the envelope – but she thought Heather might like to have that. She gives Heather a photo of Ace, and Heather thanks her. She says, that’s just the cutest thing ever. She thinks she sees Esme in him. Laura says, yes, he does look like Esme, and Heather says, she’s so lucky. She hopes Laura knows that. Laura got to spend time with Esme, really got to know her, at her worst, but also at her best. She got to spend time with Esme at Spring Ridge, but Esme didn’t know who she was. Then of course (🍷) there was her father. She hopes Ryan is roasting over a pit in hell right now… Sorry. Laura says, please, don’t be, and Heather says, because he is a murdering bastard, right? Not unlike yours truly. Except she loved her little girl so much. And yes, she did blame Trina Robinson and Laura’s grandson Spencer and everybody else for the bad things that happened to Esme, but she believed in her heart that all those people deserved what Esme did to them. So when they tried to put the blame on Esme, she did what she thought any good mother would do. She protected her daughter by punishing the people who hurt her. But now she’s been going over and over this in her head. She can’t for the life of her remember why she thought killing those people by stalking them with a hook was going to help her little girl.

Jordan says, any donations are subject to fiscal review by the city, and Sonny says, of course (🍷). She says, and their acceptance is solely at her discretion, and he says, but she’s in charge. He’s positive his money will go where it’s needed the most. She says, that’s very flattering, and he says, it’s very true. She says, but why now? and he says his home is in Port Charles. He raised his children here and he wants to help the community.

Drew says he knows Willow is a private person, and if taking on this role demands she share more of her personal life than she’s comfortable with… What? She says, it’s nothing. It’s just he offered her this job and now he’s trying to talk her out of it? He says he’s not trying to talk her out of it. She’s perfect for the job. There’s nobody on this planet better suited for it than she is. She’s living proof that stem cell and bone marrow transplants save lives. The bartender puts plates in front of them, and he says, but that’s not very good breakfast conversation, right? She says she’s a nurse, and he says, that’s true, which is another reason she’s perfect for this. Not to mention the fact that she’s warm and beautiful and charming… She says, okay. She’s not sure where he thinks flattery is going to take him. She’s getting a lot of mixed signals here. He says, it’s not flattery. It’s just a list, a list of the many reasons people will be able to hear her on this. What he’s trying to say is, he doesn’t want her to do it if it compromises her privacy or out of a sense of obligation. She says she appreciates everything he did for her, and it was heroic of him. She knows that makes him uncomfortable, and he doesn’t see himself that way. He says he doesn’t see himself as a hero because he’s not a hero. He just did… She says, something completely, utterly heroic, and he says he did the right thing. She says, and here she is alive and well because he did that right thing. Why can’t he be proud of that? He says he is. he’s very proud of that and always will be.

Valentin says, so tell him, how is it working for Drew after… Nina says, after Valentin bought The Invader and left him in the lurch? but he says he was referring more to her reporting him to the SEC. She says, oh, that, and he says, and by the way, as for buying The Invader, he has no regrets. She asks if he’s sure, and he says, because it gave her the leverage to get back to where she needs to get to, it’s money well spent. She asks if this was part of his grand plan to manipulate Drew to get her back at Crimson, but he says, no. Even he’s not that good. She says, don’t sell himself short, and he says he was revealing a path to happiness post-Sonny for her, and wherever that takes her is fine with him. She says, so this was an entirely selfless act, and he says, entirely selfless. She says, that’s what she thought, and he says he’s not going to deny The Invader is a good investment. And making Adrian DeWitt associate publisher was a genius move. Because now he’s reverted the paper to the style of tabloid, which has increased circulation. She laughs and says, it must drive Alexis crazy. She must be hearing no end of it these days. He says, she’s still printing the hard stories and more people are reading them because they don’t realize that’s what they’re buying. So win-win, even if Alexis doesn’t realize it. Nina asks how much grief Alexis is giving him, and he says he can take it. She knows him. He’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

Felicia says, as much as she loves Anna’s old house, she thinks this place is prefect for her, and Anna says, it’s nice, right? She couldn’t stay holed up at the MetroCourt forever. (I suddenly realize, it’s Sasha’s old place.) Felicia says, stranded at a five-star hotel. Life is hard. Anna says, it was nice, yes, but it wasn’t hers, and Felicia says she gets it, and she understands Anna needed time after everything she went through with Charlotte. Anna says she did need time after everything that happened, and Felicia says, if she wants to talk about it, they can talk about it. Anna says, it’s not like she’s not ever thinking about it, but it’s beginning to go a little bit in the background now, and Felicia says, but she’s fine, right? Anna says, yeah. Charlotte just went back to boarding school in Switzerland, so she’s on her way. Felicia says, and she knows this how? and Anna says, what? Felicia asks if Anna and Valentin have been chatting.

Jason tells Carly, the way Sonny handled Cyrus is proof he’s not thinking clearly. So is what happened in the Pine Barrens. Hauling Dex out there, planning to kill him, when everybody in Port Charles knew he worked for Sonny. It’s sloppy. It’s impulsive. Sonny’s too smart to make a mistake like this. Carly says, he’s going to have to have his blood drawn and his medication recalibrated, and he refuses to do that. This is the frustrating part about bipolar disorder. It sends you spiraling while telling you that you’re fine and everyone else is wrong. He says, let’s just take it a step at a time. Is there somebody Sonny still trusts who can convince him to get his blood drawn? She says, the only person Sonny trusts right now is Ava, which is crazy because they all know she switched Morgan’s meds for placebos. He asks if she thinks Ava is trying that with Sonny, and she says she thinks Ava is capable of it. She just doesn’t know what it would get her. And to be honest, Sonny’s been off since Nixon Falls, and he’s been really bad since his break-up with Nina. So maybe it’s not bipolar disorder. Maybe Sonny’s pride is wounded, and he doesn’t know where to put his anger.

Anna says she and Valentin bumped into each other at the MetroCourt bar the other night, and Felicia asks how that went. Anna says, it was good. They were very civil with each other. Felicia says, of course (🍷) Valentin can be civil with Anna. He’s been obsessed with her since the Cold War. There’s a knock at the door, and Felicia asks if Anna is expecting anybody. Anna says she doesn’t know. Maybe it’s Detective Bennet with another training exercise. She opens the door, and a man holding a beautiful floral arrangement, says, flowers for Anna Devane. She says, that’s her. They’re lovely. She thanks him and takes the flowers inside. Felicia says, let her guess, and Anna looks at the card. She says, yep. Valentin. It’s just congratulations on the new apartment. Felicia says, shameless, and Anna says, and looking forward to dinner. Felicia says, back up. Anna said she talked to Valentin. She didn’t say anything about dinner.

Willow says, yes, she owes her life to Drew, and she’ll never ever forget that. But she’s not accepting this position out of any sense of obligation. The New Tomorrow Institute is doing important work. Getting people tested, recruiting donors helps save other lives like hers was saved. She wants to be a part of that. Drew says, amazing. Then before they make it official, they should talk about scheduling. She might want to cut back hours at the hospital. She says, that actually won’t be a problem. She’s decided to leave her job there. He says, not because of this he hopes, but she says, no. Because of her kids. When she was fighting leukemia, she kept saying how much she wanted to live to see her kids grow up. But after she recovered and got back to work, she realized that bit by bit, day by day, their childhoods were passing her by. She has the privilege of being able to step back from her career. Most people can’t, but she’s been given a second chance to be a mother, and she, Wiley, and Amelia want to take full advantage of that. He says he knows the feeling. Time with your kids, there’s nothing more precious.

Valentin says he was worried Drew lured Nina back to Crimson just to find new ways of punishing her, and she says, that thought crossed her mind, but only for a second. She really doesn’t think that Drew would sabotage his own magazine. He says, she has new faith in Drew, but she says, it’s not faith, it’s observation. She can’t stand the guy. He’s arrogant, entitled, petty, and rude. He says, other than that? and she says, other than that, he is a savvy businessman. He asks if she’s sure Drew isn’t just giving her a hard time. (Insert your favorite rude joke here.)

Heather tells Laura, it’s a terrible thing to take people’s lives and only afterwards realize what that means. That those people all had people who loved them. How did she ever think that by killing people she could help Esme? She cries, and Laura says, this doesn’t excuse what she did, but she was suffering from cobalt poisoning. That line she drew from wanting to protect her daughter to deciding it was okay to kill people to do that, the line was drawn by the illness. She was inside the illness at that time, so at that time, it made sense to her. Heather says she hears what Laura is saying and wants to believe that’s right, but she knew the reasons for what she was doing right up until the minute she had surgery. It’s just that now she can’t remember the logic. She can’t conceive of why, but she can remember what she did, every single moment. Laura says, because now she’s outside the illness and so she’s seeing things more clearly. Heather says she’s seeing how people see her too, and cries some more.

Jason suggests he and Carly go over a few things. Is it possible Sonny developed a tolerance to this dosage and his medication needs to be adjusted? She says, there’s only one way to find out, and he says, right. So who can reach Sonny? She says, not a lot of people. Sonny’s convinced everyone’s out to get him. Dante’s a possibility. Kristina, but she wouldn’t want to involve her because she’s pregnant. He says, what about Olivia? They’re still close. Or Brook Lynn. She says, all options, yes, but if they were to approach Sonny right now. he’ll know she’s behind it, and not only will he refuse to do it, it could damage his relationship with them and then he’ll feel even more alone and persecuted. Jason asks if there’s anybody else she can think of, and she says, Stella Henry. He asks if she thinks Stella would do it, and she says she does, but she thinks Stella has to witness his behavior first. It’s hard and Donna is going to be so upset that she can’t see her father. And Sonny is so furious, he’s never going to come to her house and see Donna. It’s a lot. John walks in and says he didn’t expect to see Carly here. She says she’s here visiting her best friend. What is he doing here? He takes out his badge and says, official business. He has some questions for Mr. Morgan.

Laura says, whatever the cost, Heather did do some horrible things, but she’s still human. She’s still Ace’s grandmother. As far as she can see, Heather is still capable of love. Heather says, but she wonders if she’s only capable of love when it’s convenient for her. She discarded her children, not just Esme, but Steven Lars and Franco. And she did all of that before the ski accident. Laura says, but it’s not like she left them in the woods or by the side of the road, right? She made sure they were safe. Heather says, maybe she was sane enough at the time to realize that she was the one she needed to keep them safe from. She wasn’t in any condition back then to give them any kind of a good life. It wasn’t until years later that she became obsessed with her children, and she insinuated herself into their lives, interfered with their relationships. She wonders if she’d never had that hip replacement and had that metal poison her blood and her mind, does Laura think she might have been a good mother?

Anna flashes back to telling Jason that she wonders if Charlotte being in Switzerland doesn’t make it easier for Valentin to do Pikeman’s bidding. She says, it’s not like she thinks he’s suddenly trustworthy, and Felicia says, good. She doesn’t have to check Anna for a head injury. Anna says she hates to admit it, but she misses him. She can tell Felicia is disappointed in her. Felicia says, just a little bit, but whatever else she may think of Valentin, she does know he loves Anna.

Nina tells Valentin that she and Drew have had some altercations, some of them quite fierce, but they’ve reached a kind of quid pro quo. Valentin asks if this quid pro quo is equally beneficial to both of them or just to Drew, and she says, that’s an excellent question. She gets up, and he asks where she’s going. She says she’s going to find out. She’ll be right back.

Nina goes to the bar and says she didn’t mean to interrupt. She just needs to run something past Drew for the next issue. It doesn’t need to be now obviously, but sometime this morning. Anyway, that’s it. She’ll leave them to their morning. Willow says, actually, she would like Nina to be the first to know, if it’s all right with Drew… Drew says, absolutely, and Willow says she’s officially accepted the position as spokesperson for the New Tomorrow Institute. Nina says, great. She’s so proud of Willow, if that’s something she can be. Willow says, it’s fine, and Nina says she’s very, very proud of her. Drew says he just had an idea. What if Crimson does a story on the Institute and on Willow?

Carly says she saves John from being beaten and he thanks her by harassing her friend? and John says, believe it or not, his being there has nothing to do with her. She says she’s present, so it does have something to do with her. And you know who’s not present? Jason’s lawyer. She’s going to call Diane right now. Jason says, please, don’t bother. Let’s just get this over with. She asks what he thinks Diane would say if she heard him say that, but Jason says, it’s going to be okay. He’ll call her later. She says, fine, and leaves. John says he wouldn’t be surprised if she’s calling Jason’s lawyer anyway. She probably realizes Miss Miller would refuse to let him cooperate. Carly lingers outside the office, but still in the warehouse, keeping to the shadows and listening in. John says, while he is impressed with her ability to obstruct an investigation without actually obstructing justice, he has no time today for Miss Miller’s legal pyrotechnics. They need to talk about Pikeman.

Anna tells Felicia that he thing that made her relationship with Valentin so complicated was the fact that they really did love each other. Felicia says, that never goes away. Certainly not quickly and most of the time, not completely. Anna says she can’t share her life with someone she doesn’t trust, and Felicia says, no, she can’t. Anna says, but Valentin understands her in a way that few men do, and Felicia says, they get each other. Anna says she doesn’t think he gets her in quite the same way she gets him, and Felicia says, they see each other with perfect clarity. The only difference is, Valentin likes what he sees, and Anna doesn’t. Being the recipient of Valentin’s devotion must be amazing. To be seen, flaws and all, and still be loved so relentlessly. Anna says, it was something, and Felicia says, the tragedy of Charlotte’s shooting will always be between them. She knows Valentin doesn’t blame Anna, but that doesn’t change how Anna feels about it, and she’s only just started to recover. So she has to ask Anna. Does she really think this dinner is a good idea?

Nina says, Crimson is always looking for important stories to run alongside the arts and culture of fashion. She would love to include an article about the New Tomorrow Institute if it works for Willow as spokesperson. Drew looks pleased with himself, and Willow says she can’t wait. Nina says, great. Someone from Crimson will contact her. Willow says, it just may take a little while. She still needs to get up to speed on the Institute. Nina says, no rush. Just schedule something with the rep at Crimson whenever. Willow says, okay, and Nina says, enjoy the rest of her morning. Willow says, her too, and Nina goes back to the table.

Valentin says, it looks like that went well, and Nina says, her daughter smiled at her. And she’s doing an interview for Crimson. He says, that’s wonderful. Good for her. And he takes it her quid pro quo evened out a little. She says, oh honey, right now, I’m way ahead. She can put up with Drew forever if it gives her access to her daughter.

Drew says he should have asked before he pushed Willow together with Nina, but Willow says, please. He’s got to stop treating her like she’s still that fragile woman in the hospital bed. She’s fine. She can handle this. Not that there’s anything to handle. It’s an interview for a good cause. And it’s her job now. He says, it certainly is, and they hug. He thanks her, and she says, him too. Always. She leaves.

Jordan tells Sonny that she’ll see what she can do, and he says, that’s all he can ask. Drew comes by and says good morning. Sonny puts his hand on Drew’s shoulder and says, listen. He’s been thinking about it, and he reconsidered. He’s not going to sell Volonino’s. Drew tells Sonny that he can’t say he’s not disappointed, but no harm, no foul, and Sonny says, good luck on his project. Drew thanks him, and Sonny says he hopes to hear from Jordan soon. He leaves, and Jordan says she needs to get back to the office herself, but Drew asks if she has a second. There’s something he wants to pitch to her.

Heather tells Laura that she wonders how different her life would have been if she hadn’t gotten medical treatment that turned her into a monster. Would Esme still be alive? Even if she hadn’t given Esme up, would she be well enough to go find her? Be a mother to her? When she thinks of all the years she spent in prisons and mental institutions, all the things she’s missed… Why? Laura says, there’s just no way to know what might have been, and Heather says, she’s right. She might have been a good mother. She might have been a terrible mother. Maybe this person she’s become is the real her and the cobalt just brought it out. Laura says, there’s just no way to know, and Heather says, but there’s one thing she does know. She hurt a lot of people. Understanding now all the wrong she’s done, and feeling the guilt, taking responsibility for all the damage she did… She guesses that’s all just part of the punishment.

Laura says she doesn’t know if that’s what this is, but she thinks it’s a really good thing that Heather is starting to realize the severity of her crimes, because she’s taking responsibility. That means she’s coming back to reality. Heather says, a reality without her daughter. Or Franco. Two of her children are dead, and the third is in prison and she’s probably never going to get to see him. Not that he wants to see her. But – she picks up the photo – she has her grandson, who, thanks to Laura, is going to have a happy life. Laura says she gives Heather her word that she’ll do everything in her power to make sure that Ace has the best possible life, and Heather thanks her, pressing the photo to her heart.

Drew says he was able to convince the congressman to throw some federal money at revitalizing the city, and Jordan says, their city? He says, Port Charles, and she says, that is unbelievable. What did he want in return? Drew says, he wants a lot of things, and she says, such as? Drew says, such as his name all over the place, and she says, how all over the place? He says, so far, all he promised him was an esplanade, and she says, okay, that’s fine. What else? He says, front row seats at the dedication? and she says, done. What else? He says, that’s it so far, and she says, okay. Let’s get it all in writing. She’s impressed. He says, don’t be too impressed, because he pitched McConkey just like they knew what they were doing down to the last detail. She asks how much he has planned, and he says, other than the McConkey esplanade, not very much. He has some rough notes. She says. Post-Its or napkins? and he says, both. She says, in government, we call that a working draft. How can she help him? He says, she knows exactly what the city needs. He’s secured the funds to make it happen, but she has to help him figure out how to make Port Charles as attractive and as accessible as it can be. She says, okay. She’ll do it. He says, amazing. He kind of thought it would be harder to convince her. She asks, why? When it was basically her idea. She talked to him about urban renovation and reclamation, and he found a way to make it happen. She does want him to answer one thing. How did he get McConkey to sign on? How did Drew even get a meeting with him? He is notoriously inaccessible.

Nina tells Valentin, everything is righting itself… Well, almost everything. And she has him to thank for all of it. He says he’s always happy to help a friend, and they clink coffee cups.

Drew looks over at Nina and tells Jordan, it’s complicated. He and Nina lock eyes.

Anna says, it’s just dinner, and Felicia says, famous last words. Anna says she and Valentin had a very intense personal relationship. And Felicia is right. What happened with Charlotte is always going to come between them. The result of that is, they’ve never been able to have a calm, adult conversation about it. Felicia says she thought the reason for the dinner was to have calm, adult conversation, and Anna says she thinks that they need closure. Felicia says she hopes Anna knows what she’s doing, and Anna says, so does she.

John says, Jason’s business partner is Sonny Corinthos. The FBI arrested him last fall on suspicion of facilitating an illegal arms shipment for Pikeman. Corinthos was released on lack of evidence, but all that means is that he was covering his tracks. Jason says, Sonny hasn’t spoken to him about Pikeman or anything else, and John says, they know Pikeman was doing business in Port Charles because the ex-director of the WSB, Jack Brennan, is in Pentenville right now – Carly continues to listen – because he was arrested for conspiracy with Roman Hume, a Pikeman employee. Jason says he wasn’t here when any of that went down, and John says, no, but Sonny was, and it points to an ongoing association between him and Pikeman. Carly shakes her head like she can’t believe it.

Sonny walks in the park, and sees a group of cadets jog by, Dex at the front. He watches them with a scary Sonny face.

Tomorrow, Dante asks if Sam will stay with him if he’s still a cop; Laura tells Doc that she’s empathizing with a serial killer; John says he owes Brook an apology; and Jack tells Carly that his day just got 100% better.

Vanderpump Rules

The VanderGang is in San Francisco. Ally wonders if Dan and Sandoval have met, but James says, no. Lala wonders what if Dan has an interaction with Sandoval. Dan has been in fights before and doesn’t f*** around. Katie tells Lala that she thinks he’s the sweetest person. Brock asks Scheana if she needs help setting up, but she says, Sandoval is helping with sound for all the performances. It’s a big deal. He asks how she feels about last night’s conversation now that she’s slept on it, and she says, they have good productive conversations. She wonders if Sandoval was genuine or playing her. Ariana isn’t going to feel it’s genuine because of what he did. She has a hard time trusting what’s real. Brock says, he loves Ariana, but she doesn’t reach out. Sandoval reached out. In Brock’s interview, he says, Sandoval is genuinely the greatest caring friend. He does and acts when Scheana needs him most. Scheana tells Brock that she doesn’t agree. Ariana is a good friend to her, but Brock says, actionwise, she bails out, and Scheana says she understands that Ariana is the person who will probably not show up, but want to be invited. She’d never turn her back on Ariana, because Ariana has always been there for her. Brock says, she has a dog in the fight.

The VanderGroup minus Sandoval take a trolley car to Chinatown, making me wistful for NYC’s Chinatown. They go to a restaurant, making me pine for dumplings, and Brock asks what they got up to last night after playing dress-up. Lala says she cuddled with Katie in the bed. She thought Scheana and Brock could be a tag team, but they couldn’t handle this. Scheana asks if she’s ever had a threesome, and in Schwartz’s interview, he says, everyone says it’s never as good as you think it will be. He’s not ruling it out, but he thinks it’s a bucket list thing. Dan says he trains 7 days and bartends, and Lala grills him with a barrage of questions. What’s his main focus? How old is he? (40.) Has he ever been married? (No.)When was his last relationship (5 years ago) and why didn’t it work out? In her interview, Lala says, Dan is handling this interrogation like a champ. He’s not even breaking a sweat. She’ll be damned if another person comes into the group and ends up being an a-hole. She’s asking now what their intentions are, and why are they here? Lala tells Ariana, hold on to him. James asks what Dan thinks of Sandoval, and Dan says he doesn’t know Sandoval, but knows what Sandoval has done and he’s not hearing great things. Scheana says she put it in perspective for Sandoval that he’d been weaponizing Ariana’s mental health on top of what he did. She felt she saw the mask fall and he said he needed to think. Katie asks how long Scheana is going to believe those are genuine tears. She doesn’t believe anything that comes out of him. In Katie’s interview, she says, they’re making this more nuanced than it is. F*** the guy who f***s over her friend. Schwartz says, he did a trash thing, and Ariana debates his choice of words, saying it sounds too singular. In Lala’s interview, she says, Ariana tries to put on a cool girl vibe, but she cares a lot. Sandoval is the monster and she’s the victim. She doesn’t think Ariana wants to deal with a mourning period.

Brock has arranged for a path of rose petals leading to the bed in their room and tells Scheana that he asked the staff to do something romantic. Scheana says she’s glad she got the conversation out of the way, and since she looks at things with rose colored glasses, she says, Ariana seemed receptive enough. Brock asks if she told Ariana that she and Sandoval made up, but Scheana says, they didn’t make up. It’s a step forward and a breakthrough conversation, but they’re not best friends. Schwartz goes to Sandoval’s room, and says, it was the best meal in Chinatown. <sob!> He got to know Dan better and he’s great. Sandoval says, Ariana has good taste in men. Ugggh. Schwartz says, they kept it civilized, but Brock felt the girls were being hypercritical of Scheana for talking to him. Lisa calls Scheana to wish her good luck tonight and asks how everyone is getting along. Scheana says, pretty good, and she had a good conversation with Sandoval. She feels he’s taken steps forward and he’s listening. Lisa says, they have a long history, and asks if Scheana still loves him. Scheana says she does.

Lala tells Katie that Scheana’s got pressure on her. She’s going to Ariana for some sort of approval. She feels Scheana wants Ariana to say that things aren’t going to change because she talked to Sandoval. Katie says she doesn’t think that’s going happen, and Lala says the pressure is on Scheana for the way she lives her life when someone else who’s thriving has mad rules for everyone. In Katie’s interview, she says, Scheana feels like she should be the exception to Ariana’s boundary of not wanting mutual friends. Sandoval didn’t make a mistake. He made choices for months, then doubled down on those choices. Katie says, Sandoval’s been a sh*tty person to Scheana. If that’s the kind of friend she needs, go for it. Schwartz asks about Sandoval’s conversation with Scheana, and Sandoval says she asked him to consider apologizing for the mental stuff he said about Ariana. Schwartz says, Ariana might tell him to f*** off in the moment, but he thinks it would mean something to her. In Sandoval’s interview, he says he just wants the tension to subside a little. Schwartz tells him not to get defensive, and Sandoval says he just wants her to know that he wants to work on himself for real and he’s taking action to become a better person and learning from his mistakes. He wants her to know that if it’s days, months, years, or decades, if she ever needs him, he’ll be there for her. Schwartz says, it will probably be decades.

Last minute preparations are made for Kyle’s whiskey launch party. Tom tells Scheana that Hassan is doing the sound. He does the sound for Sandoval’s band and is a professional engineer. She thanks Sandoval, and in her interview, she says, that’s the person she remembers. The friend who does things when not even asked and was so genuine. That’s what made the fallout hard. She remembers who he was for 15 years. She jokes, that was me making it about me. People start to arrive, and in Scheana’s interview, she says, it’s the first time she’s not performing solo. There will be a full band behind her. She’s used to performing on top of a bar after a few tequila shots. We flash back to that, and she says, this is a big deal. Dan wears a strange man bun, which I do not think he rocks. I’m not a fan of the bun to begin with and believe the only two men who should be allowed to wear it are Roger Howarth and Sensei Guillermo Gomez.

James asks Ally to check out the sunset with him and they go outside. He says, it’s such a nice weekend, and she says she misses Hippie and the cats and wants to go home, but she’s having fun. James tells her that he knows he said his priority was Hippie, but she’s his priority. He’s the luckiest man on the planet and would do anything to make her happy. Ally tells him that she knows she said she’s not ready for marriage, but when she is, she wants to marry him. In James’s interview, he says, when he was a teenager, he had his life mapped out. His dad had him at 28 and he was going to follow in his dad’s footsteps. He wipes his eyes and says he wouldn’t change anything. His life led him to where he is today. He loves Ally and would tell the younger James that he’ll have to go through sh*t before he finds someone who makes him truly happy.

In Jo’s interview, she says she still loves Schwartz. They make a good team. It breaks her heart, but what is she supposed to do? Lay in bed and cry? At the end of the day, she wants Schwartz in her life for the rest of her life. Schwartz asks her to come into the lion’s den, but she says she doesn’t like negative energy. In her interview, she says, she wants this to be over. If she can say she’s sorry to Katie, she’s hoping Katie will say it back, but she doesn’t know if Katie hates her because of her connection to Schwartz. Good luck to the next woman. Schwartz brings Jo over to the VanderArea, and tells Katie that Jo wants to say something to her. Jo says she’s sorry if she hurt Katie, and right away, Katie is all like, if? IF? Just say she’s sorry, not sorry if. Jo says, this is weird, and Katie says, she’s weird. Lala says, don’t start, and Jo asks if Katie feels like she owes her an apology. Katie says, no, like we thought there would be a different answer, and Jo says the text she sent Katie about the divorce was genuine. Katie says, then Jo moved in with Schwartz, but Jo says she was couch surfing. She never moved in. Lala says, they stayed together and had sex, but Jo says, there were months between the divorce and when that happened. On another sofa, Ariana tells Dan that she doesn’t know what’s going on, but it’s not good. Poor Dan has no clue either, but Ariana says, long story. Jo says she wishes she could explain. She feels bad. Katie says she feels that Jo was looking for the right moment to move in on Schwartz. (Like this dude is such a catch.)  Lala, who is sitting between them and obviously uncomfortable, says she doesn’t believe that. Jo says, not even close, but Katie says, don’t move in on someone’s ex if you support them. Jo says she didn’t move in, but Katie ignores that and says, just don’t do it. Stay with literally anyone else. Jo says, just let him go.

Katie says, Jo is a f***ing liar, and Schwartz tells her, ease up. Katie says, they weren’t divorced yet and it was a difficult time. Jo says she was thinking about herself, and Katie says, as a woman, Jo should have thought of her and slept in the street. Schwartz says, she came to make peace, and Katie says, I don’t want peace. I think that says it all and shows Katie for the sh*thead she’s being. They should just walk away now, but Schwarz says, Jo feels uncomfortable, and Katie says, she doesn’t give a f***. He says, she wants to be friends, and Katie says, keep Jo away from her. Schwartz says he doesn’t like an ultimatum or a quid pro quo, and Katie says she didn’t give him one. She said, keep Jo away from her.

Lala, Scheana, and Brock tell Sandoval about Chinatown, and Sandoval says, Schwartz told him that Brock stuck up for him and he appreciates it. Brock says, he’s in the middle, but he’s not Switzerland. He’s friends with both Ariana and Sandoval. Sandoval says he doesn’t get that often and appreciates Brock stepping up and being there. Brock says, Sandoval has been there for everyone, and in Scheana’s interview, she says she understands what Sandoval did was absolutely terrible. She wishes it wasn’t so black and white for Ariana and Ariana could see how much she’s struggling. She doesn’t want to lose Ariana, but she feels like she’s losing herself. She needs to let this sh*t go. It’s enough. Brock says, they’ll be here for their friends. They’ll be here for him. Scwartz asks if Dan and Ariana are doing something afterward, and Ariana says, they’re about the Applebee’s life. Is that code for something, like the pasta? What does that even mean? Do they eat all their meals there? Sandoval comes over to Schwartz, and Ariana ignores him, getting busy with her phone. He introduces himself to Dan and says he heard Dan was a great guy. He just wanted to say, what’s up and wish them the best of luck. Dan says he appreciates that, and Sandoval leaves to the relief of everyone. Ally asks how that went. She got nervous. Dan says, it went, and Ariana says, Logan was texting her. He’s at Beyoncé. Ally says she felt it had to happen, but Ariana says she didn’t because he’s not in her life. In Ariana’s interview, she says she’s not a cog in the machine on the Sandoval redemption arc. He can do that without her. Sandoval suggests apologizing to Ariana, but Schwartz says he doesn’t think it’s a good time with Dan there.  

Kyle takes the mic and introduces Scheana, who’s wearing – no surprise – a gold outfit. She sings Apples, and in Sandoval’s interview, he says he wasn’t so crazy about the song, but it’s growing on him. He’s so stoked to see Scheana pushing her music again. He’s excited to see it. In Scheana’s interview, she says she feels like she’s fallen back in love with music and performing. It means a lot. Afterward, Sandoval tells Scheana that she killed it and they hug. In her interview, Scheana says, Sandoval stepped up and helped when he didn’t have to. She hopes he continues down this path. Only time will tell. Ariana goes over to Scheana and hugs her. She says, Scheana killed it, and Scheana tells her that Sandoval flew out his sound operator person. Fool her once, but twice she’s seen the genuine side of Sandoval that she loved for 15 years, the good friend. She’s hoping he’s really changing and becoming a better person. In Ariana’s interview, she says, it’s the same thing over and over withs Scheana. She doesn’t know why Scheana thinks she knows Sandoval better than she does. She’s happy for her. Scheana says she wants to see if there’s a path of growth, and Ariana wonders if she can ask a favor. Don’t talk to her about that. He’s her ex-boyfriend, who doesn’t deserve to be in her presence or breathe the same air. That won’t change. Scheana says she feels Ariana wants an apology, but Ariana says she doesn’t want him to speak to her. Scheana says she asked Sandoval if he was ever going to apologize, and Ariana says, that seems beyond him, and she doesn’t want it. Scheana says she doesn’t want to lose Ariana or compromise their friendship. She’ll always have Ariana’s back, but she feels she can’t write him off forever. In her interview, Ariana says she has to protect herself and keep herself out of situations that make her uncomfortable. She never once said she didn’t love Scheana and didn’t want to stay connected. We flash back to the many times where she literally said she would not be friends with anyone who was friends with Sandoval, and she says she doesn’t know why Scheana doesn’t understand. She says, Scheana’s not losing her. She’s family. She hugs Scheana and says she loves her and doesn’t want her worrying. Sandoval crashes this lovefest by telling Scheana that she did a good job. Ariana can’t teleport away fast enough, but Sandoval follows her. He says, Scheana wanted him to tell her that he’s sorry, but Ariana says she doesn’t want to talk to him. He was f***ing around behind her back and doesn’t deserve to speak to her or have access to her life.

Scheana tells Sandoval that she told Ariana about their conversation, and she thinks it was performative and that Scheana’s an idiot. Sandoval says, Ariana knows him well enough to know it wasn’t. Scheana asks what she means to him, and he says, a lot. She says, in filming or in life? and he says he’s there. He shows up. She tells him, don’t make her look like a f***ing idiot, and walks away. Sandoval tells Billie that Ariana claimed he wasn’t honest and being performative. She’s the performer. She doesn’t like anyone in the group. She can f*** off.

Ariana bitches to a producer about Sandoval interrupting her conversation with Scheana and says he doesn’t deserve to speak to her.  The producer says, don’t end it like this, but Ariana says, all Sandoval wants is 30 seconds with the audience. In her interview, she says, what Sandoval is trying to get is for him, not her. She’s the final boss in his video game of redemption. He can’t get to the final boss, and he’s pissed. She leaves with Dan and another couple, presumably heading to do their Applebee’s thing. Sandoval tells Billie that if Ariana doesn’t want to be on the show, don’t collect a paycheck for doing nothing. He tells Scheana that he’s pissed. Ariana talked sh*t about all of them. She doesn’t show up, but he does. When push comes to shove, he’s there. Scheana says she knows. That’s why she’s struggling. Sandoval says he’s sorry he made it hard for her and hugs her. He says he knows she puts up with a lot, and in his interview, he says, it’s hard for people who have stuck up for him and by him. They haven’t forgiven him; they’re just recognizing him as a person and they’re going to get flack for it. Ariana is relentless about her hate. Lala says she has her own point of view and she’s been biting her tongue, so she’s breaking the fourth wall. This happened to Ariana and the world rallied around her. Now she thinks she’s Beyoncé. It’s bullsh*t that she can’t film with Sandoval when she lives under the same roof as him. It’s a lot. She’s saying, don’t f*** with Sandoval, but she’s going to sleep down the hall from him. He did a really f***ing sh*tty thing and it was weird how he looked them all in the eye and said a lot of sh*t, but he did not kill somebody. Ariana moved on 8 days later. She’s never experienced someone who gets cheated on and suddenly becomes God. In Lala’s interview, she says she loves the show because it’s real and gives tremendous healing. For Ariana to walk out this way is such a slap in the face. This is what they do. They’ve been doing this most of their adult lives. We see clips of them in their first interviews and they look like babies.

Lala says, they’ve all experienced high highs and low lows and there’s a responsibility that comes with living your life on camera. You have to be truthful even when it’s extremely uncomfortable. We see scenes from early seasons as she talks. She says she’s watched James live his life on camera, and Tom and Katie. She feels there was a time when she wasn’t honest with what was going on – we flash back to that – and she was suffocating. She doesn’t feel Sandoval and Ariana were ever honest about their relationship until Sandoval was caught cheating. And they think they get to be honest one moment and pack it all away and all is good? F*** that.

This all makes me deeply sad for some reason. In Katie’s interview, she says, sometimes you have to stick to your boundaries. If your peace is more important, stand your f***ing ground. In Ariana’s interview, she says, they all live the difficult parts of their lives on camera. If it’s something that matters, you do it regardless. Sandoval has never tried to talk to her off-camera. He could have written her a note and left it in the kitchen, and she could have read it at her leisure. If you only want to talk on camera, then you’re showing your true colors. Scheana says she knew she would break, and she broke, and everyone leaves the event.

A producer says, that’s the end. Schwartz says, that was a f***ing plot twist, and Sandoval says, he loves it. It was good for him.

Next time, the Reunion.

🍼 No, You’re Not Invited…

Maybe Bowling for Soup was right. High school never ends.

🐹 On Life’s Hamster Wheel…

Join me tomorrow for soap and what’s cooking. Until then, stay safe, stay remembering it’s Mother’s Day this Sunday, and stay marching to your own drummer.

May 10, 2022 – Nina Appeals To Carly, Andy Hears Screaming At the Reunion & Stormy

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ned comes into the Quartermaine Nook, and notices Drew’s back. Drew says he was just out for a run; what’s up? Ned says he wants to talk to Drew about the plan to merge ELQ with Aurora, and Drew asks how he can help. Ned says, call it off.

Esme tells Cameron that it means so much, him not turning his back on her. She thanks him for being so kind. She’s glad he’s his own man. Josslyn walks in and says, no, he’s her man, and Esme has about ten seconds to get her tentacles off of him. Esme says, her tentacles? Wow. At least claws would have been sharp, but tentacles? Josslyn says, they’re slimy, and Trina says, and they suck. Esme says, they might not believe this, but she has feelings, and Trina says, they know. Josslyn says, jealousy, possessiveness. Now get lost. And the next time Esme thinks of talking to her boyfriend, don’t. She has one of her own. Esme asks if Cam wants her to go, and he doesn’t say anything. She says, see? Cam can make his own decisions. Josslyn is just going to have to get over the fact that Spence and Cam are on her side.

Spencer looks at the stack of shoeboxes in Esme’s closet, and says, this season… last season… this season… three seasons ago. Very unlike you, Esme. He opens the box, and says, what do we have here? He takes out a prescription bottle.

Michael asks what Willow is thinking, and she says, that her mother is dead. But she wasn’t Willow’s mother, and Willow has no idea who is.

At Charlie’s, Nina tells Ava, she didn’t want this fight, but now that she’s in it, she’s going to come out guns blazing. And Carly’s going to hope to God she’s not in the line of fire. They see Carly has walked in, and she approaches the table. She asks how is it that Nina sees herself as a victim in situations she’s caused, and Nina says, Carly, Michael, and Willow backed her into a corner about Wiley. She had no choice but to fight. Carly says, Nina always has choices, and she always picks the wrong ones, and Nina says she did everything she could to avoid a court battle. They forced her hand, and what is this smear campaign they’re doing about her in the press? Carly asks, what about the feature isn’t true? If anything is even a little inaccurate, she’ll tell them to retract it herself. And Ava. Nina forced her into labor, and stole her baby. How is it they’re friends now? Ava says, things change, and Nina says, all she asked, ever, was a little time with her grandson. Not even a lot. If Carly had just taken five seconds to think about it, she’d see they want the same thing. Carly says, what’s that? and Nina says, peace.

Willow asks Michael, how messed up is it that she’s so sad about Harmony? She doesn’t even know if she was stolen, or her birth parents gave her away. All she knows is, Harmony carted her around the country, from commune to ashram to cult, and now she’s sad Harmony is gone? Michael says, she’s the only mother Willow knew. Of course (🍷) she’s going to be sad. She says, now she has to go to the PCPD, and give them a DNA sample, so they can figure out Harmony’s motive for killing Neil Byrne and his brother. It’s too much. She puts her head on his shoulder, and he tells her not to worry about the DNA test; he can run interference. She asks if he’s sure, and he says, if the brother to brother appeal doesn’t work with Dante, there’s always Diane. There’s a knock at the door, and Michael opens it to Alexis. He asks what brings her by, and she says she can certainly understand why this might not be a good time, but she was hoping to speak to Willow about Harmony.

Cameron says he’s not choosing sides, but if he did, he’d have to side with Joss and Trina. Trina says, not choosing a side is the same as backing the bad guy, and Esme says she’s sick and tired of having the same fight with them. Josslyn says, then come clean; confess. Say it was some practical joke that got out of hand, and she didn’t know how to handle it. Esme asks why she’d confess to something she didn’t do, and Josslyn says she hasn’t changed. As for feelings, the only ones Esme has are for herself. Esme says, whatever. Josslyn’s issues with her say way more about Josslyn than they ever will about her. Trina says, 50% deflection, 50% deception, and 100% shady, and Esme tells them to enjoy feeling superior. She puts her hand on Cameron’s shoulder and thanks him for comforting her. She’s glad to see someone around here still has a heart. She leaves, and Josslyn asks, what the hell was that? Cameron messes with his phone, and says, it’s not what it looks like, She says, now he’s texting someone? and he says, if she’ll give him a second, he’ll explain, but she asks, who could he be texting at this moment who’s more important than her and Trina?

Spencer looks at the bottle, and says, no label. No way to trace it. Unless… He takes out a pill and pockets it. He says, all right, Esme. What else are you hiding?

Nina tells Carly that she heard about Harmony. There’s already been so much devastation. Carly tells Nina, she says that like she didn’t cause any of it, and Nina says, she’s made her share of mistakes. Carly says, that’s her favorite word, and Nina says she hurt a lot of people because she was hurting. Carly says, let her guess. This is where Nina blames her again. She goes to the bar, and Nina says, no. She understands Michael and Willow make their own decisions, but they really respect Carly’s opinion. Ava says, it’s getting late, so she’s going to run. Unless they need a referee. Nina says, no, they’ll be fine, and Carly says, goodbye. Ava leaves, and Nina asks Carly to sit with her. Please. Carly says she only has a minute. She’s there to check on Phyllis. She wants to see how Phyllis is doing since the robbery. Nina assumes Carly heard about it from Sonny, but Carly says she has her own sources. However, if Nina is asking if she’s talked to Sonny, the answer is yes.

Michael says he has some things to take care of at the house so he’ll leave them to it. He leaves, and Alexis says she just realized she only planned what she was going to say through the introduction, and they’re past that. Willow says, then she’ll start. It turns out Harmony was capable of terrible things, but that’s not all she was. For the time she and Alexis had a friendship, Willow chooses to believe it was real. She’s glad Harmony had Alexis. Alexis says she was grateful to have Harmony as a friend. She came along when Alexis really needed one. The tragedy is, Harmony knew how to fake being a good person very well. Willow says she doesn’t believe it was all fake, but Alexis says she guesses they’ll never know. Seems neither of them really knew her, did they?

Spencer’s phone dings, and he reads: Esme’s on her way back. He says, Esme or not, he can’t give up now. He puts the box on the bed, checks outside the door, and takes out one of the letters.

Josslyn asks, what’s wrong with Cameron? and he asks what she means. Trina says, he’s been acting weird, and Josslyn says, what Trina said. Esme made a sex tape of them, and showed it to the world. Trina says, and she may be going to prison for it, and Josslyn says, and Cameron wants to give Spencer his job back? Cameron says, that was a business decision, and Josslyn asks if hugging Esme was a business decision. He says he didn’t hug her; she hugged him. Josslyn says, that’s the second time she’s seen Esme with her arms wrapped around him. Learn how to dodge. He asks what she wants him to do; leap out of the away, or slide across the counter? Josslyn asks why he’s making excuses to comfort Esme, and Trina says, they need to chill. Arguing like this is what Esme wants. Josslyn says, Esme probably saw them heading over here, and ran like hell to beat them, so they could witness her hugging Cam. Trina asks Cameron to help them understand. She gets why he gave Spencer his job back… Josslyn says she doesn’t, and Trina says, but why is he supporting someone who ruined all of their lives, his included? He says he’s just trying to do the right thing, and Josslyn says, the right thing would be to stay as far away from Esme and Spencer as possible. Trina says, she has to go; homework. Josslyn hugs her, and Trina says, remember, play nice. Listen to each other. Don’t let Esme win. Trina leaves, and Josslyn asks if Cameron saw that. Why would he hurt Trina that way?

Outside, Trina makes a call. She needs their help. It’s important.

Ned says, sorry to keep Drew waiting, and Drew says, he’s on his way to meet Sam. They’re going to discuss Scout’s summer schedule. Ned asks if he has to rush out, and Drew says he does, but he wanted to put Ned’s mind at ease first. Ned says he thinks Drew knows what his concerns are, and Drew says, he believes he does, and like he said, his ELQ shares are going to revert back to him soon, and Valentin will no longer have the majority, but he’s still going to own a lot of shares. So their position is, to protect them from future takeovers, the best possible situation is for Aurora and ELQ to merge. That way, Valentin’s shares will be even more diluted. Ned asks what the leadership structure be in this new company, but Drew thinks they should wait for Michael to talk about this. Michael miraculously appears, and says, here he is. Talk about what? Ned says, they think merging ELQ and Aurora is the best strategy to keep ELQ in the family. Correct him if he’s wrong, but if that merger goes through, he’s out in the cold.

Nina says, she and Carly will always be in each other’s lives, but Sonny isn’t who they need to talk about right now. Carly says, she’s got that right, and Nina asks, how’s Willow? Carly says, she’s grieving, and heartbroken, and Nina says, please send her condolences, but Carly says, don’t do that. Don’t pretend to be concerned about Willow, when she just got done ranting that Willow is the reason Nina has to fight with their family. Nina says, she’s concerned about Wiley. Willow is Wiley’s mother, so therefore, she’s concerned about Willow. Carly says, fortunately, Wiley is too young to understand what’s going on, and Nina asks, did they tell him that his grandmother died; that Grandma Harmony is gone? Carly says, if they tell him, it will be up to Willow and Michael, and Nina says, she understands that, but she doesn’t want that little boy to feel he was abandoned by his grandmother. She doesn’t think it’s fair to keep it from him. Carly asks if she’s kidding. Wiley is too young to process that kind of information. Kind of like when Nina told him Willow wasn’t his real mommy. How you hand someone that information can do more harm than good. Nina says, lies can do harm too, and Carly says, Nina’s sure did. Nina says, whether Wiley knows about his grandmother dying or not, he lost her. She is no longer in his life. Is it really fair for that little boy to lose another grandmother too? Carly says, Nina’s not doing this for Wiley; she’s doing it for herself. Because she can’t see past her own selfishness to do what’s best for him.

Spencer reads a letter from Maggie, and Esme peeks around the door.

Josslyn tells Cameron, Trina is going to be tried for a felony. One Esme set her up for, blowing up their lives in the process. It’s them versus her. He says, the last thing he wants to do is hurt Josslyn or Trina, and she says, then what is he doing comforting the enemy? He says, he told her, it’s not like that, and she says she doesn’t care who hugged who, but he can’t be a literal shoulder for Esme to cry on, knowing who she is and what she’s done. He says, Esme came in looking for Spencer. He’s not here, and when he told her, she got all upset. What was he supposed to do? Josslyn says, walk away. Let her wallow in the misery she’s created. He says, he knows what Esme’s done, but he’s sorry. He can’t be that heartless. He’s not wired that way. She says, unlike her.

At the gallery, Ava asks Trina to tell her what’s going on. She said it was important. Trina says she just saw Esme at Kelly’s, crying crocodile tears on Cameron’s shoulder, and he was actually comforting her. Ava says, after everything that little demon has done, how dare he? and Trina tells her, he did say Esme just threw herself in his arms, and he froze. Ava says, it’s still a major violation of their friendship. She hopes Trina let him have it. Trina says, that’s what Esme would want, right? To drive a wedge between the three of them? Ava says, she’s smart; that’s a good point. Trina says, it just hurt so much to see Cameron and Esme like that. She’d never tell him not to be nice to someone. Ava says, why not? It’s Esme they’re talking about. Why should anyone be nice to her? Trina says, it’s like every time she sees Esme, Esme is rubbing it in her face that she’s ruining Trina’s life and getting away with it. Ava asks how often Trina sees Esme, and Trina says, she just came here the other night to see Spencer. Ava says, so Spencer is having little rendezvous in her gallery when he’s supposed to be making restitution? but Trina says, Spencer was surprised to see Esme, but don’t worry, she kicked Esme out. Ava says, good for her, and as for Cameron, she has every right to feel betrayed. Trina thanks Ava for having her back through all of this. She appreciates it. Ava says, of course (🍷), and Trina says, that’s why she needed to meet. That’s why she needs Ava’s help.

Michael tells Ned, they’re keeping their options open about leadership. It’s still in the early stages. Ned asks, realistically, how much will the merger actually dilute Valentin’s shares? Aurora and ELQ are hardly on the same scale. Drew says, they’re in the process of bulking up Aurora, so it will be a merger of equals as much as possible, and Ned says, it seems the two of them have given this a lot of thought for something that’s in the early stages. Drew says, since he and Michael both run Aurora, they’ve had more of an opportunity to discuss it, that’s all, and Ned asks if he shouldn’t read anything into the fact that he wasn’t part of any of these discussions.

Willow tells Alexis, Michael started to suspect something was up when there was no record of her birth certificate. When Harmony miraculously obtained a copy, she didn’t ask questions. Alexis says, when Willow lost her copy, Harmony came to her for help, and Willow says, wait. Does Alexis mean she’s known Harmony wasn’t her mother? Alexis says she has, and Willow asks, for how long? It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Alexis says, except it does. Willow must be so angry. She should have said something. Willow says, of course (🍷) she’s angry, but as for Alexis telling her, it wasn’t her place. It was Harmony’s responsibility. Alexis says she tried to get Harmony to tell Willow several times, but Harmony was too afraid she’d lose Willow. Harmony told her that a woman at the commune in Colorado called Joan gave birth to Willow and disappeared. The leader gave Willow to Harmony and her father to raise. They were so worried Joan would come back, they left the commune. Willow asks if Alexis thinks any of the story is true.

Nina says she loves Wiley and deserves to be in his life, and Carly says, loving someone doesn’t entitle you to anything. Nina says, Wiley is her family, and despite Carly’s best efforts to discredit her, the judge is going to see the truth. Phyllis comes in and says, Carly… Nina… What a lovely surprise to see you both… together. Carly says, she and Nina are done. She came to see Phyllis. Phyllis suggests Carly join her at the bar while she tends to some business, and asks if Nina is sticking around. Nina says, she needs a minute, and goes in the back. Carly says, she didn’t come here to get into it with Nina, and Phyllis says she believes Carly. What does bring her by? Carly says, it’s been a couple weeks since the attempted robbery. She wanted to check and see how Phyllis was doing. Phyllis says she’s doing well. It’s kind of Carly to take an interest. Just so Carly knows, she’s always welcome here. Carly thanks her, and says she doesn’t expect Phyllis to choose between her and Nina; she knows Phyllis is always going to protect Nina. Phyllis says, the instinct never goes away. Nina was pregnant and in a coma. When someone is that helpless, it’s hard not to care. Carly says, and Phyllis got roped into Madeline’s lies. Lies that sent Nina on a path of destruction.

Trina tells Ava, proving her innocence in court isn’t going to cut it. She needs to prove Esme did this, and make her pay for it. Ava says, she’s in. What can she do? Trina says, Esme is obviously a master schemer. She blows up Ava’s car, and now she’s living with Ava. Ava says, don’t remind her, and Trina says, when it comes to scheming, clearly she’s out of her depth, but Ava isn’t. In fact, Ava is the only person she knows who could out-scheme Esme. No offense. Ava says, none taken. In fact, she’s flattered at Trina’s faith in her. Trina says, so tell her, what should she do?

Esme says, what hell is Spencer doing going through her personal things? She snatches the letter from him, and puts it back in the box. He says, he was looking for his sunglasses, and she says, in a shoebox? He says, while he was searching, he saw that box, and he thought it was strange that she kept shoes that were so out of season. She says, he thinks he knows her so well, and he says, doesn’t he? She asks if he was going to borrow dated heels, and he says he saw the letters from her nanny Maggie. Esme told him that she’d lost contact with her, so why does she have an entire box full of her letters?

Cameron says, Josslyn isn’t heartless. She has one of the biggest hearts of anyone he knows. It’s just that she can really hold a grudge. She says, only when people deserve it, like Esme. He says he’s angry with Esme too, and she says, really? Because he seems to be in a forgiving place with her. He says he hasn’t forgiven Esme for anything. It’s just that Josslyn’s anger is fierce, but it’s also proactive. She can’t look at Esme without wanting to start a fight. She says, her friends and family are the most important things in the world to her, so when someone hurts them, she can’t just forgive them. Is that so wrong? He says, no. He thinks it’s great. Her ride or die loyalty is one of the things he loves most about her. He’d like to think he’s just that loyal. He just doesn’t express it the same way.

Drew gives Ned his word, his and Michael’s proximity is the only reason they’ve had these discussions at all. Michael says, when it comes time to discuss leadership, Ned will be informed. Ned says, informed? Up until a few days ago, he was under the assumption that when they got ELQ back from Valentin, he’d be CEO. So if he’s to have a commensurate position in this new company, he’d like to be part of all the discussions. Michael agrees, and says, they’ll make sure Ned is, but it’s not that simple.

Alexis tells Willow, over time, Harmony’s story didn’t hold up. Then Brendon showed up, and she knows the rest. Willow says, there’s still so much they’re not sure about, and Alexis says, when Harmony first confided in her, she encouraged Harmony to tell Willow the truth. Willow asks why she didn’t, and Alexis says, she was worried Willow would never forgive her. That she was willing to kill to keep it a secret, let it suffice to say, their relationship meant a lot to her. Willow says, she’s been leaving room in her mind for the possibility none of this is true; that Harmony had some kind of break with reality. But now hearing Alexis talk about the trouble Harmony went through to hide the truth, it’s really sinking in. Harmony was lying to her for her whole life. She feels like she lost her mother twice, not to mention her father. Oh my God. My father. She wonders if he knew what Harmony did.  

Phyllis tells Carly, Madeline kept a lot of secrets. She wishes she’d been more discerning. Carly says she’s sure it gave Nina some comfort, knowing Phyllis was there when she brought her baby into the world, but Phyllis says she wasn’t there at the birth. By the time she got to work, the baby had been born. That’s when Madeline gave the baby to her to deliver the baby to her adoptive parents. Carly says, so Phyllis wasn’t there when Nelle was born. Does she know who was? Phyllis says she doesn’t. Why does Carly ask? Carly says, Nina is petitioning to visit Wiley, so Nelle has been on her mind lately. Phyllis says she didn’t know it at the time, but there was a huge inheritance at stake. That’s why Madeline gave Nina’s baby away and made sure it couldn’t be traced. Carly says, Phyllis is the only person who knew what was going on because Madeline roped her into it, and Phyllis says, the only silver lining is that Nina eventually found out the truth, even if it was too late. Carly says, and Nina blames her for it every chance she gets. Phyllis says she knows better than to think she can sway Carly, but just so Carly knows, she’s rooting for Nina to be able to know her grandson. Carly says she figured, and Nina comes back. Phyllis asks if she’s all right, and Nina says, she’s fine, but she’s going to go home. It’s going to be a rough few days, and she needs to get her head on straight.

Drew says, he’s not sure if they can offer Ned a position commensurate with CEO, and Ned says, he sees. Michael says, when this merger happens – Drew says, if it happens50% of the assets will be media based, and that’s not something ELQ has had much of a stake in. Drew says, they have plenty of time to work out the details. He’s sorry, but he has to get going. Ned says, of course (🍷). They’ll talk later. Drew tells Ned, trust him, he’s going to be happy. He leaves, and Michael says, he can tell Ned is uneasy with this, and Ned asks, what was his first clue? Can he be honest? Michael says, of course (🍷), and Ned says he’s sacrificed a lot for this company. He and Michael worked hard to regain control of ELQ from Valentin, and now they’re about to get ELQ back, and he feels like he’s being put out to pasture. Tell him the truth; is he?

Josslyn says she loves everything about Cameron. She’s lucky to have him as a boyfriend, and lucky he’s such a nice person, but Esme uses nice people, like with that hug. He says he just doesn’t think Esme ran all the way there so Josslyn could catch her, and Josslyn says, maybe not, but the way Esme touched Cameron’s shoulder as she was leaving, was her way of telling Josslyn that her boyfriend doesn’t mind if Esme touches him, and there’s nothing she can do about it. He says, that’s not how he sees it, and she says, how about Trina’s face before she left? Is being nice to Esme worth that? He says, he just thinks given some time, Trina will understand where he’s coming from.

Ava says, Trina’s mother would have her head if she knew Ava was advising her, and Trina says, if it were anyone else, maybe. But since it’s Esme, she thinks her mother would see it her way. Ava says, she hopes so. She does have one idea, but she doesn’t think Trina will like it. Trina says, try her, and Ava says, Esme is a jealous possessive psychopath, but the one good thing about Spencer is that he knows what a good person Trina is. He basically threw Esme over. He went after Trina. Take advantage of that jealousy and goad her into making a mistake, and trap her. Trina says, so Ava thinks she should make a play for Spencer, and Ava says, nothing overt, just when Esme can see; a little sigh there, and a little tear here, and oh no, nothing’s wrong. Before Trina knows it, Spencer’s arms will be around her, and Esme’s will be around Spencer’s throat. Trina says, Spencer is back with Esme. He’s not going to respond to her flirting with him, but Ava says, Spencer loves Trina’s attention. He’ll fall for it, and it will push Esme just far enough over the edge that she’ll lash out and incriminate herself. Trina says, it’s tempting, and Ava says, but? Trina says she doesn’t think she can take it that far. Ava says, Trina is in serious trouble here. Doesn’t she want to do what she can to avoid a trial? Trina says, there is something that can help; something she’s been keeping to herself. But before she tells Ava what it is, it’s a last resort. Ava says, understood. What is it?

Esme says she kept all of Maggie’s old letters. Congratulations. He found out her deep dark secret; she’s sentimental, but please don’t tell anybody. He says, no one would believe him, and she says, his turn. Why was he in her room violating her privacy when he’s supposed to be on a grocery run? He says, he blows off work all the time. She, on the other hand, told him she’d lost touch with Maggie before he met her. The letters indicate otherwise. She says she kept in touch with Maggie over the years, but why is she being interrogated when he’s going through her stuff? She thought they were rebuilding their relationship. He says, they are, but she says, he still doesn’t trust her. He says he feels like it’s the other way around. Lately, he’s been feeling like she doesn’t trust him. She says, of course (🍷) she does, even though he’s giving her plenty of reasons not to. He says, such as? and she says, going through her things. When he opened the shoebox, what exactly did he think he’d find? He says, he doesn’t know what he was looking for. He just feels he doesn’t know her as well as he thought. He thought he could find out what he didn’t know. She says, why not just ask her? They used to talk about everything. If they want to get back what they had, they need to be completely honest, transparent. He agrees, and suggests they start with this. He picks up the letter, and asks why Maggie wrote, no good can come from you having contact with your father.

Trina tells Ava, if she uses what she knows, there will be collateral damage. She doesn’t want anyone getting hurt except Esme. Ava says, so this secret weapon could set Trina free? but Trina says, it’s not a slam dunk, but it might be her best shot, and she’ll use it if she has to. She’d just rather not. Ava says, so she doesn’t want to flirt with Spencer, and doesn’t want to use this ace in the hole because someone might get hurt. Trina says she may be an even worse schemer than she thought. Ava says, she’s pretty terrible at it, but she’s proud of Trina. Trina asks why; it’s embarrassing. Ava says, Trina is a good person. She doesn’t go to Esme’s level, or hers. Trina protests, and Ava says she’s not ashamed of her level. She’s proud to be Trina’s go-to schemer. If Trina finds herself trapped into doing something she doesn’t want to, come to her, and they’ll figure out another way to get Esme. Trina thanks Ava, and says she’s so glad to have Ava in her corner.

Cameron says, they’re different people, and Josslyn says she thinks their differences have always made them stronger, as friends and as a couple. Cameron says, he loves everything that makes Josslyn her, and she says she feels the same way. Obviously, she doesn’t love the way he’s being nice to Esme; she doesn’t deserve it. He says, it’s less about being nice, and more about him not wanting to escalate things. She says, they’ll just agree to disagree, and he says, it’s not the first time, and won’t be the last. She says, this is about them resolving conflict, right? and he says, what else would it be? He has to get back to work, but they’re cool, right? She says, they’re fine, and they hug.

Michael says he understands Ned’s concern, and no one is trying to drive him out. Ned says, he senses a but, and Michael says, this merger is their best option to make sure their family maintains control of ELQ again. Ned says, objectively, and Michael says, nothing has been decided. They’re leaving the door open to all possibilities, and Ned will have an active part in the discussions on how to move forward. Try not to worry too much. Ned says, sure. Anything for the family.

Alexis tells Willow, she’s so sorry. Harmony never mentioned Willow’s father. She guesses they’ll never know. It’s late, and she should go. Willow thanks her for coming by and trying to make things better, and Alexis says, for whatever good it did. Does Willow have any idea what’s next for her? Willow says she needs answers. She needs to know where she came from, and who her biological parents are. The first step is getting that DNA test from the PCPD. Because bringing the truth to light is the only way to heal.

Nina thanks Phyllis, who says, of course (🍷). She’ll always have Nina’s back. Carly flashes back to Michael asking if the DNA test can wait, and Phyllis tells Nina to come tomorrow. Carly looks at Nina’s empty glass on the table, and Nina leaves. Phyllis goes in the back, and Carly looks around, takes a napkin, picks up the glass, and puts it in her bag. She turns, and Drew is right there.

Tomorrow, Laura thinks Nikolas is defending Esme; Spencer has something special for Esme; Martin says, Elizabeth believes she’s being haunted; Nina is prepared to go all the way; and Drew says he can’t be that guy for Carly.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion Part 2

When we last left, Joe walked off, saying, he quits. Now let’s try to make sense of a bunch of loud women all talking at once. I hate reunions.

Melissa says, Teresa is quick to put Joe #2 down, but Teresa insists she’s not doing that. In the back, Joe says, Teresa is not a sister, and Luis asks, what’s wrong? Joe asks if Luis heard that; he quits. Teresa says she’s not trying to Joe down, but Andy has to explain that what she said was demeaning, since she lives in her own upside-down personal world, where things are not what they are in this one. Teresa says, Joe is her baby brother, and she’s always kissed his ass. Andy suggests she kiss it some more, and get him back on stage. In the back, Joe #2 tells Joe #3 that his sister is accusing him of getting involved with the women; he doesn’t want to get involved with anybody. He quits. Jennifer says, Joe #2 has to deal with the wrath like her husband did. Huh? Teresa reluctantly trudges backstage, and again says, she’s not putting Joe down. Joe says, if Luis goes out there, he’s a bitch, but Teresa says, it’s not the same. Luis has to defend himself. Joe asks if that’s not for her, and she says it is. He says, then Luis is a bitch. On stage, Melissa says, Luis is fighting with Marge, so what’s the deal? Marge says she doesn’t get it either. Teresa tells Joe, because Marge was talking about Luis, it’s going to be addressed. Joe tells Luis if he gets involved, he won’t be a man, and Teresa says, Luis is the only one dealing with Housewives drama, possibly contradicting several other things she’s said. Jackie says she can only seem to talk to Jennifer when Teresa isn’t around, and she wants to be able to move forward. Andy says he hears screaming, so he’s going to check. Melissa says she’s sick of the arguing.

Teresa tells Joe #2 that she wishes he’d get involved, and tell Marge to STFU. And he should slap Joe #3 upside the head. Andy comes back, and Joe says he doesn’t want to be called names. Andy says, they’ve been living their lives on TV, and he’s trying get ratings resolution. Jackie tells Jennifer that when Teresa wants her to do bad stuff, just don’t. Marge says she’s disappointed that friendship with Teresa is a dictatorship. If something is in a public forum, address it, and it goes away. Still in the back, Andy says, Teresa complained that Joe #2 was in the women’s business, and again she suggests Joe tell Marge, STFU. Joe says, he told Luis to talk about the allegations. If he’s not embarrassed, talk about it, and it will shut everyone up. Teresa says, Luis doesn’t owe anyone anything, but Andy says, it’s out there. He’d be asking the questions whether Marge had brought it up or not. Teresa says she’s fine with that, but Marge is supposed to be her friend. Melissa joins them, and tells Joe not to let Teresa piss him off. Be a family. Enough. It’s ridiculous. She speaks for us all. Teresa says she never put Joe down, but Joe says, she just did, twice. Andy says, Joe is telling her how he feels, so she should listen. Joe says he wants to have a relationship with his sister and loves her, but she’s said some nasty things. Teresa says, sorry, and Andy asks Joe to come back later. Joe says he doesn’t want to argue, and Andy tells him to have a drink and take a break. Teresa still won’t shut up, and Luis tells her to stop. She says she did apologize. Because sorry is enough.    

Andy comes back, and Dolores says, he’s been dealing a long time with this family. She has new boyfriend Paulie on the phone – Paulie from Dublin, Ireland. Is this a nickname they gave him for the show? I can’t imagine there are many Paulies in Ireland. Andy tells Paulie that Dolores is a precious commodity. BTW, we don’t get to see him. That’s for next season.

Andy welcomes us back like we went somewhere, and says, everyone rooted for Dolores to find her happily ever after. She’s been searching for the perfect house and the perfect man, and this season left us wondering if her life will always be under construction. We flash back to Dolores’s season highlights, including her break-up with David, and her mom’s bypass. Andy asks how her mom is, and Dolores says, she’s a lot better. She had no life outside of her kids, and taking care of herself is hard for her. He asks if Frank is still living with the kids, but Frank is now living with David. In the house Dolores built with David. Dolores says, Frank is in between living situations, and she’s living in her house. Her townhouse was sold, and she has a boyfriend now. Andy asks how long they’ve been dating, and she says they started going out at the end of the summer. We find out everyone has met him, and Teresa seems to get really annoyed because Marge knows him better than she does. Andy asks how Paulie feels about Dolores’s unusual relationship with her ex, and she says he’s friendly with his own ex. She’s met her, and she’s lovely. Andy suggests she be set up with Frank, and Dolores thinks that would be amazing. He says, rumor has it, David is dating an ex of Luis’s, and Teresa says, Luis was dating her before they met, but she’s not one of the crazy exes. Dolores says, the day Luis met Teresa, he never called her again. A viewer asks what Dolores learned about her relationships with Frank and David, and she says, there’s life after Frank, and she spent too long with David. She explains that once she cares about someone, it takes a lot for her to walk away, but when she does walk away, she’s done. A woman after my own heart. He asks where Paulie’s relationship with the camera is, and Dolores says, nobody wants to walk in and get destroyed. Teresa says, no one gets destroyed unless people destroy them, like Dolores was referring to spontaneous combustion. Andy asks if there are going to be wedding bells, and Dolores says, everything is there that she likes and wants, but you never know. Andy seems to take this as Dolores will have a rock on her hand by the next Reunion, but I took it just the opposite. Like she might want to see what else is out there.

We went down Memory Lane with everybody’s kids. Jackie talks about her kids going to camp, and Andy says, Jennifer criticized Marge for sending her kids to camp. Jennifer tries to save herself by saying, they all have their own version of motherhood, and Marge says, it’s good for socialization. Jennifer says she doesn’t even let her kids go on sleepovers, and I kind of feel sorry for them. We find out Dolores’s daughter Gabby is dating a guy, but not seriously because of her work, and Frank Jr. is single. Melissa still hasn’t had the sex talk with her kids, but Antonia’s eyerolling is getting a little better; she’s coming out of it. He asks about Marge’s strained relationship with her kids, and she says, between her and Joe #3, they have six kids, and only one relationship is strained. There’s a short argument about Marge saying kids are resilient, which she realizes came off as insensitive. Andy shows a photo from Gia’s 21st birthday on a party yacht, and we find out Gia is still dating the same guy. Andy mentions that Gia had been skeptical about Luis, but Teresa says, it’s all good now, and Gia only felt that way because of the stuff Marge put out there. Andy says, it was already out there; he knew about it. Jennifer – who continues to Jensplain everything – says, his exes were bitter. Teresa says, it’s because he’s dating her, and gets up. She spins around, saying, mirror, mirror, on the wall, she’s the fairest of them all. Marge says, wow, which is about all you can say, and Teresa says, if he’d been dating Marge, this wouldn’t have happened. Marge says Teresa is so pompous, but no one has a dictionary so Teresa probably thinks it’s a compliment. Andy says, this is more exhausting than normal.

We flash back to Jackie’s private struggle with food, and Andy asks where she is in recovery. She says she’s pretty far along, and eating normally, so she’s out of the danger zone with her health. She’s trying to come to terms with living in a different body, and got rid of her measuring spoons. She’s still working on calorie counting. Andy says, Evan was great with his love and support, and Jackie says, she’s told him not to offer too much help. They’re going on vacation, and she didn’t even think about not eating meals to make up for it. Andy asks if anyone noticed Jackie’s food issues, and Melissa says she would notice Jackie ate less, or she say she ate before she got there. Jackie says, she gave herself two meals a week to eat in front of people, and Andy asks why it was scary for her to bring in Evan. She says, it was embarrassing. No one wants to admit they use spoons to measure their food. She tears up, and I’m guessing it was more than just a spoon issue. She says she wants to get rid of the shame, but she’s terrified of gaining weight. When she was overweight, it was a hard time in her life, and she decided she’d do anything to stay thin. But it became harder as she got older (tell me about it), and she had to starve herself. Marge says, Jackie is brave and strong. She’s done so much work on it, not just physically, but with her emotions around food. A viewer asks if it was frustrating for Jackie when Teresa fat-shamed Marge, and Teresa says she’s sorry about her comment that Marge never misses a meal. However, her leggings are structured to make your ass look good. Nothing like a little marketing with the shade. She says, Marge ruined her night, but Marge says, Teresa ruined her own night. They say, no, you, about 400 times, while Andy tells them to knock it off. Teresa then changes the topic to Marge being a digger. Marge says she doesn’t have to dig; it’s on the internet. Teresa doubles back, and insists she wasn’t fat-shaming Marge, and tells Marge to STFU. Please. For the love of all that’s holy. Get this woman a thesaurus. Although she’d probably think it was some kind of dinosaur.

A viewer wonders if Jennifer getting plastic surgery is sending the wrong message about body positivity, but Jennifer doesn’t think what she’s had done is excessive. I actually don’t either. Andy says, Marge’s allegations took things to the breaking point with her and Jennifer, and asks if Bill was more mad at Jennifer for not denying the affair, or that he had to deal with it. She says, he wasn’t mad, which I totally believe, since Bill shows very little emotion. She did all the talking, as usual, and he was highly embarrassed. He knows no words can justify what he did. A viewer points out that both Jennifer and her mom deflect from what Bill did, and instead focus on Marge bringing it up. Which is true. It’s that old-school boys-will-be-boys mentality that went out with Flip Wilson doing drag. Jennifer says she forgave them both. It’s a process, and you don’t jump to it. No one would have known if Marge hadn’t said anything. Marge says, people knew. When it’s in an office, people know. Andy says, the lesson that’s played out for the 16 years Real Housewives has been on the air is, if you have something to hide, don’t go on a reality show. Jennifer says, they did discuss it beforehand, but she wasn’t going to forego something she wanted for a mistake Bill made. Bill said, if it came up, they could deny it, and she agreed to appease him. Part of her thinks it made her stronger, and they’re in a better place, but she hadn’t wanted it on TV because of her kids. Andy asks how the kids are dealing with it, and Jennifer says, there was initial shock, but children learn by example. If mommy is okay, then they’re all okay. Andy says, Melissa has been vocal in saying, infidelity is more complicated than just leaving. How would she handle it? Melissa says, possibly the same way. If Joe #2 made a mistake, she can’t say she wouldn’t forgive him. Andy asks, who would find infidelity a deal breaker? and Teresa and Jackie raise their hands. Although it’s possible Teresa doesn’t know what the word infidelity means. Teresa says, to each their own, since she read it on a wine glass. She commends Jennifer, but it’s between Jennifer and her husband. Jackie says she’d always think about it, and wouldn’t be able to trust him. A viewer says, Jennifer has been calling Melissa fake on social media, and Melissa says, it started with Dolores, but she’s the fake one this year. Jennifer started this sh*t by calling her and Joe #2 crooked. Jennifer pulls out – from where I don’t know – several social media posts, blown up and put on poster board. Andy says, it’s like a TED Talk, and Jennifer explains each one, as she shows it to the women they way you’d show a picture book to a group of children. She says, crooked never would have been said if Melissa hadn’t started it. It was the day after she’d gotten her nose done, and she was attacked. Andy says, it wasn’t about her face, and Melissa says, Jennifer wants them to feel sorry for her getting elective surgery. She tells Jennifer that she’d been watching the Reunion, and saw Jennifer rolling her eyes, and how she kept coming between her and Teresa. We flash back to that, and Melissa says, Jennifer called her relationship with Teresa fake. Teresa didn’t care, and she got annoyed.

Andy asks Marge how Jennifer is a hypocrite, and Marge says, Jennifer blames women for men’s behavior. (Back to that old-school thinking again.) Melissa says, when you live in a glass house, why hammer Marge with it? and Jennifer says, Marge was bragging about how Joe #3 had to wash her stench off himself so his wife wouldn’t smell her. Marge says, she was cracking a joke, and we flash back to that. Not only is it taken out of context, Marge said it a whole different way. A viewer says Marge needs to own her behavior about insulting Jennifer, and we flash back to the Marge’s lipliner comment a million years ago, and Marge suggesting Jennifer’s sister-in-law was a mail order bride. Jennifer says, the mail order comment was insensitive, and Marge says, not compared to slut, pig, and whore, which Jennifer has called her. Another viewer asks why Jennifer blamed the woman when Bill had an affair. Jennifer says she didn’t, and Marge says, she got the woman fired. Bill can go one to an illustrious career, but she can’t. Jennifer says, she’d do it again, and Melissa says, she gets hating the other girl. Marge says, she and Jennifer could have bonded, but Jennifer says, Marge wasn’t her friend. Marge says, she couldn’t be. They genuinely made up, and then Jennifer trash talked her on the aftershow. We see a clip of Jennifer talking smack about Marge to Teresa, of all people, saying Marge was very vocal about cheating, and using the word stench again. Teresa tells Marge to STFU, and then it gets to that point that I hate the most, with them all yelling, so you can’t understand anybody. Andy gets up, and says, they’re all talking – so shut up!

Next time, this horror show reaches its dramatic conclusion. The men join the fray, and Luis is grilled by Andy.

🖥 Netflix and Lukewarm…

Tomorrow, as always, there will be soap, but the new season of RHOBH begins as well. Until then, stay safe, stay exploring new ideas, and stay remembering, bringing the truth to light is the only way to heal.