What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I missed the very beginning because that guy was still talking, but it’s an easy catch-up.

Sonny tells Carly that his dad was chatting up the waitress. It was like he was his old self, and called Sonny son, like he used to. Then everything went to hell. Carly says she’s so sorry, and Sonny asks why she’s still in the ER. She says, Gladys, and Sonny asks if she’s hurt. Carly says, no. She’s fine, but her son was shot. Brando.

Gladys tells Brando, she knows she said he was dead to her, but she wished she could take back the words a million times. She tried, but he didn’t return her calls. She sits, and says, suddenly, Brando showed up at Sonny’s warehouse. Has he forgiven her?

Carly tells Sonny, the shooting started, and she crawled for cover. The bullets were getting closer, and all of a sudden, a man was there, and shielded her. He got shot, but Carly thought he was one of Sonny’s guys. When the shooting stopped, Gladys came out, went to him, and said his name. She was surprised, and to be honest, Gladys was too. She was really trapped and couldn’t run. That man saved her life.

Brando asks why Gladys is there, and how she got mixed up with Sonny. Sonny comes in, and asks Gladys for some privacy. She starts to protest, but he says, out, please. She goes, and Sonny says, so he’s Gladys’s son. Brando says, and he’s Sonny. Sonny says his family was ambushed, and nearly killed. He wants Brando to tell him what he was doing in the warehouse when it happened.

Gladys tells Carly that Brando is doing well; they had the most wonderful reunion. Carly says Gladys told them that he was dead. She played the grieving mother act to the hilt, when she knew he was alive. Why? Gladys says she shouldn’t have done that; not with Carly and Sonny. She’s sorry. Carly says she should be, and Gladys says, when Brando came back from the war, he wasn’t himself. Carly says, that happens to a lot of guys, but their mothers don’t go around telling everyone that they’re dead. Gladys says Brando got mixed up with some bad people, and the truth was embarrassing. It was easier to say he was dead. She told everyone he’d been redeployed and killed in Iraq. Carly says Gladys lied about being a gold-star mother; that’s terrible. Gladys agrees, and says she didn’t know where he was or what he was doing with his life. Carly says Brando knew what Gladys was doing with hers, and holds up picture of Gladys and Dev.

Brando tells Sonny that he doesn’t know anything about the ambush. He came looking for his mother. Sonny asks if Gladys told him that she was there, and Brando says, not exactly. He saw her MyFace page, and she said she was staying with Mike’s family. Sonny asks what Brando knows about him and his family, and Brando says, not much. He doesn’t think Sonny knows much about him either. Sonny says Brando came to his place of business, and Brando says when he got to the warehouse, it was under attack. He could see through the door, and saw a woman who was pinned down, so he covered her while she could get to a secure position. Sonny says that was his wife. She said Brando saved her life. Brando says he just reacted, and Sonny says he knows Brando was in the service and was trained well. Brando’s mother told them he was dead. Does he know anything about that?

Michael says his family is under attack, and he has no idea who wants them dead. Jax says, it’s because of his father’s business. Josslyn wonders if Brando knows about Dev. If he doesn’t, he could blow everything. Dev asks if he’s getting sent back to Turkey.

Nelle shows up to move in at the Quartermaine mansion, but Brook says Nelle tried to kill Michael; he hates her. Nelle says Michael is confused, and to tell him that she’s there. Brook says, it’s late, and Michael is probably out with his girlfriend, but Nelle says Brook is just looking for an excuse to avoid the truth. Brook says, Michael would have told Monica – it’s her house. Nelle says when she was pregnant with Michael’s baby, she and Monica were close, and Monica was nice to her. Brook says she tried to kill Michael. Monica won’t forgive or forget; no more than the rest of them. Nelle can’t be so delusional that she can’t see how Michael despises her. Even if he forgave her – and that’s a huge if – why would she want to live there?

At the hospital, Willow asks Brad, please accept the help. He says she’s concerned about Nelle, but does she hear herself? Willow says, it’s not about her; it’s about Wiley. Brad has to be strong. Brad says, after everything he’s gone through since he and Lucas brought the baby home; he’s walked through fire for that kid.

Nikolas tells an unconscious Laura, he was planning revenge on Valentin, when he should have spent the years with her and Spencer. Instead, he turned from everyone he loves, and let darkness in. Now that he finally understands that, it may be too late.

Willow tells Brad, that’s what parents do; they’d do anything for their children. She knows how hard it’s been without Lucas. Wiley’s kidnapping was scary for all of them, but it’s over. Brad says, it’s not over. He still has nightmares. He and Lucas took turns sleeping in Wiley’s room; they didn’t let him out of their sight. She says she gets it, but Wiley is safe now, and healthy. Brad asks if she thinks that’s enough. Carly is always hovering, and so is Bobbie. She says, they’re Wiley’s family, and they love him. He says, Michael is obsessed. He’s Wiley’s godfather, but wants to be his parent. She says Brad should be grateful Michael cares, and he supposes she thinks he should be grateful to her too.

Nelle says, it’s just them. Brook doesn’t have to impress her family by making a show of hating her. Brook says she meant every word; Nelle is a gold-digging psycho. Nelle says she’s a grieving widow, whose husband left her 5% of ELQ. It makes sense for them to get along. Michael is. Brook says he’s not home, and Nelle can go back to where she came from, and wait there. She opens the door, and Nelle says, she was staying with Brad, but for some reason, Michael thinks it’s not the best place for her. Brook says, okay. Now she gets it. She slams the door shut, and says Michael doesn’t want Nelle spending time with Wiley. She can’t say she blames him.

Dev says this is going to be more trouble for Sonny, and it’s the last thing Sonny needs. Jax says, Sonny can take care of himself, and Michael says, there’s no point in speculating. Josslyn says, it will just made a bad situation worse, and Michael says his dad is handling it. They need to sit tight, and they’ll get through it. He goes out to the terrace where Sasha is waiting. She says she was checking the news about the shooting, but it’s just clips repeating what they already know. He says if there’s any news, his mom will call, and Sasha ask how Carly is. Michael says, considering she just got shot at, he guesses she’s okay. Sasha says, how about him, or was that dumb question? Michael says it’s not, and he isn’t. Sasha says, talk to her, and Michael says they need to stop seeing each other.

Gladys asks how Carly got the photo, and Carly says, from the bag of Brando’s belongings. Gladys gets excited, and asks if Carly knows what that means. Brando was looking for her on social media. He cares about her. Carly asks why Gladys was on social media, and Gladys says Carly and Sonny made her feel like part of a family, so she wanted to post updates about her, Mike, and Dev. She loves saying she’s Dev’s grandmother, and guesses she just wanted everyone to see how happy she was. Carly asks if she was secretly hoping Brando would see, and Gladys admits, the family made her feel so good, maybe she did want him to see. Carly says, he did, and Gladys says she hadn’t heard from him in so long, she figured it was too late. She was surprised to see him.

Brando tells Sonny that he and Gladys haven’t talked years. Sonny asks, why? and Brando says they had one helluva fight. He left Bridgeport, and never looked back. He checked Glady’s MyFace page once in a while, and saw she was staying with Sonny. She posted pictures of her and some kid she said was her grandson, but he never had children. Who is he?

Dev gets that it’s all his fault, but Josslyn says, it’s not his fault; it’s Gladys’s. She lied to them. Jax says he blames Sonny. On the terrace, Sasha asks if Michael is breaking up with her. He says his family is being targeted, and Dev’s father showing up makes it harder. They have no idea who the enemy is. She asks what it has to do with her, and he says he doesn’t want her in any more danger. They need to go their separate ways. Sasha says, no; they don’t.

Carly asks if Gladys didn’t expect Brando to show up, and Gladys says it’s been years since they were in contact. She said harsh things that he took at face value. He left a hole in her heart, and when Sonny showed up, she got to heal. Doing a good deed grew her heart. Carly says, Sonny is paying her, but Gladys says, that didn’t keep her heart from swelling. She never should have shut Brando out her life. Carly asks why she did.

Sonny says he and Brando will talk about his mother later. Where did he go after Bridgeport? Brando says, Chicago was his last stop before Port Charles. Sonny asks if he brought any luggage, and Brando says it’s at the motel where he’s staying. His turn. Who’s the kid? His mom says it’s her grandson. Sonny tells him not to worry about that right now. Brando saved his wife’s life. He’s going to get the best care possible. Just rest.

Gladys says she told Carly already, but Carly wants to know why she feels like there’s more to the story. Gladys says, what’s important is that Brando came back; she wants to concentrate on that. Sonny joins  them, and says she has other things to concentrate on. Like how her son is here and alive. She says she’s sorry she lied to him, and he says, more than once. He doesn’t tolerate people lying.

Brad says Willow is just another problem. Don’t think he doesn’t see what’s behind it every time she deals with Wiley. She’s fantasizing about raising him herself. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t think he’s a good father. She says, maybe not. He hasn’t spoken one word against Nelle.

Brook says just because Michael doesn’t want Nelle with Wiley, doesn’t mean she has to stay there. Carly owns the MetroCourt. Nelle says she’d rather go back to Brad than stay in Carly’s hotel. She would think Brooke sympathizes. Brook says she thinks wrong. Nelle says she heard Carly led Brook astray, encouraging her to get in between Lulu and Dante. When it went south, she let Brook take the blame. Brook says, so Nelle thought they’d team up to take Carly down? It was a long time ago, and they’ve all moved on. Nelle asks how she can be so unfeeling? Nelle lost her kidney and her baby, and went to prison. Now, the Quartermaines refuse to recognize that she has a stake in ELQ. Brook doesn’t know what it’s like for all the Quartermaines to be against her. Brook says, Nelle doesn’t know what it’s like, but she will.

Nikolas tells Laura, it took her being shot to shake him up, and Spencer and Lulu’s anger. He shouldn’t have let them slip away just so he could discover he’s a vengeful and greedy man. He missed her every day. He wants to do better, be better, but he needs her to tell him that she forgives him. Without that, without her… Laura opens her eyes and says, Nikolas.

Willow asks what is it with Brad and Nelle? Why does he keep protecting her? He says, they’re friends, and Willow says she gets it. The pressure is getting to him, and he’s having a breakdown. He needs help. He says he’s fine, but she says the only person who can help him is a real friend; her, Michael, or Julian. But who does he leave Wiley with? Nelle. He says he can take care of his son on his own. There’s nothing she can do.

Gladys tells Sonny that she didn’t want to lie. She was so used to telling people that Brando was dead, in a way, it was like he was dead. Sonny says, but he’s alive. He says Gladys is going to tell Brando that some lady showed up and claimed he was Dev’s father. Gladys says, Brando always had a lot of girlfriends. Sonny says, one more thing. If she even mentions to Brando that he’s protecting Dev, she’s going to regret it. Understand? She thanks him, and asks if she can see her boy now. Sonny nods, and Gladys goes back into Brando’s room. Carly asks if thinks it will work, and Brando will believe it. Sonny says he’s not saying anything until he finds out who Brando is, and why he’s there. She asks what Brando said, and he says, not much. She says, Gladys was vague on details too, and he says that’s why he doesn’t trust either of them. But he can’t concentrate on that now. He’s got to figure out who targeted his family. Carly says, and him. They were all almost killed. She hugs him.

Jax says he’s glad Josslyn is okay; he loves her. She says she loves him too, and he says he’s going to check in and see if Sonny is back. She tells him not to be too hard on Sonny, but he says he’s not making that promise. He says goodbye to Dev, and leaves. Dev says Josslyn’s dad cares about her. He asks if she’s really okay, and she says, thanks to Michael and Dustin. Dev says, it could have gone the other way, and she asks if he was scared for her. He says he was, and he feels bad about the whole thing… She says, when he kissed her? and he says he wishes he could take back the way he reacted.

Nelle takes Brook’s hands, and says she’s not like the other Quartermaines. She’s open-minded, and less constricted from family expectations, which opens her up to more judgement. They’re not bad people. Brook says, Nelle is, and Nelle says she’s never done anything bad to Brook. Brook says, the night is still young. Nelle wonders how Brook can believe the lies the family is feeding her. Why can’t Brook judge her for herself? Brook wonders if Nelle’s BS really works. She plays the victim card, and if that doesn’t work, she tries to bond. Brook might have screwed up her own future, but she’s not going to plot to kill her fiancé and leave him to drown. She won’t stalk a family, and drug a grieving father, then plot to kill a second fiancé. They’re not going to bond, and they’re not friends. Nelle had better call a ride share, and start walking. She’s not waiting for pick-up on Quartermaine property.

Sasha says she doesn’t think Michael really wants her out of his life. He says he’d be lying if he didn’t say his life was better with her in it. This is the start of something bad, and he doesn’t want to drag her in. She says she just went through something bad of her own making, and went through it with the best person she knows. He says he wants to keep her safe, and she says she wants to keep him safe too – from Nelle, or anyone who’s trying to harm him. He says he doesn’t want her near Nelle, but she says it’s her decision. He doesn’t get to choose for her. Does he think she’ll stop worrying about him, and just walk away and get on with her life? He says he’s trying to protect her because he loves her. She’s got news for him; she loves him too. and they’re going to deal with this together. Consequences be damned. They kiss.

Michael’s phone rings, and he asks what Nelle wants. Nelle says she’s at the Quartermaine’s, and Brook won’t let her stay there. She could go back to Brad and spend time with Wiley. Michael tells her to put Brook on, and Brook says, please tell her that he didn’t tell that crazy bitch she can live there, and he says he’ll explain later. Please give her a room. Brook hangs up, and Nelle asks if it’s too late to ask Cook to make cherries jubilee for dinner. Brook asks if Nelle knows who else loves cherries jubilee? Her granny. She’ll put Nelle in the room next to her. Nelle says, Tracy? and Brook says, the one and only. There’s a bathroom in between the rooms, and she’s sure Tracy will love sharing. Nelle says she wanted a room with a lake view, and Brook says, and disappoint granny? Not a chance. Brook leads Nelle upstairs.

Sasha says, that didn’t sound good, and Michael says she has no idea what she’s getting herself into. She says, as long as they’re together, they can handle anything, and they kiss.

Willow wishes Brad could see she’s on his side, and asks him to let her help. She can take care of Wiley tonight, and tomorrow, Brad can pull himself together, and figure out what he needs to do to get back on track. Brad asks how many times he has to tell her. She’s not coming home with him tonight or any other night. She’s fired.

Nikolas asks how Laura is feeling, and says he’ll get the doctor. She tells him, wait. The things he was saying… He says she heard him? and she says she loves him. She’s always going to love him.

Jax calls Carly, and asks if she knows any more about Brando. She says, not a lot. Sonny is still trying to get the truth. Jax says, put him on, but Carly says, it’s not a good time. Sonny has his hands full. Jax says he’ll wait at the house until they’re empty. Josslyn tells Dev not to let it bother him. It was a dumb mistake, and after what just happened, it’s unimportant. He asks if she’s sure, and she says she’s positive. Dustin told her to write about what happened, and she thinks she’s going to do that now.

Gladys fusses over Brando. He says Sonny treated him like a suspect, but she says, don’t be silly. His bark is worse than his bite. She gets him some water, and he asks who Dev is. She says, his son.

Carly tells Sonny, Jax wants answers about Brando. He says he’s going to wait at the house. Sonny says, he’ll be waiting a long time; Sonny isn’t going home. He has to find out who’s after his family and why. Carly takes his hand.

Tomorrow, Nelle says she’s not going anywhere, Peter tells Anna that no one can save her, Carly tells Jax that she won’t be separated from Josslyn indefinitely, and Sonny says something is a problem for him.

⛵️  So here’s what happened. Unbeknownst to me, Below Deck was on at 8, because the new Below Deck Sailing Yacht was premiering at 10. When I realized _ as I stared stupidly at the sailing yacht for a few moments – I cursed my life, and just did a QuickieCap of the new show, and watched the OG at 11:30. That’s my long way of saying, I messed up, so now I can’t go to bed as early as I would have liked, even though I wrote less. I’ve put them in the order they were aired.

Below Deck

The d*ck cake is presented, and Kevin finds out primary Jemele went to bed. Kate tells Kevin that she doesn’t know if Jemele is coming back, but the others might like to enjoy dessert. Captain Lee says he’s not taking a bite. In Kate’s interview, she says, it can’t be the first time someone was underwhelmed when Kevin showed them his penis. In the galley, She says Kevin that the primary was too drunk to stay, and just get the plates. He snaps, it was a waste of a day, and she says that’s not her fault. In Kevin’s interview, he says, it’s the last dessert, and it’s embarrassing. He put a lot of effort into the cake, and he looks like an idiot. Kate says it was ordered on the preference sheet, but in his interview, Kevin says he’s never been so embarrassed, and can see the evil look from Kate. She’s an evil bitch. The cake – which really does look very tasty – is served. Courtney thinks the whole thing is awkward, but Kevin is overreacting.

Jemele snores in her cabin. Kate says Kevin has been in a weird mood all night, and has been screaming at her. Kevin sits in the tender, grumbling about Kate. Kate admits maybe she should have told him before he brought the cake out. In Simone’s interview, she says the season was a sh*t show, but Kate is enjoying Kevin’s embarrassment. It’s defeating when you’ve been working so hard. She thinks Kate is vile. Captain Lee bids the guests goodnight.

Ashton calls the deck crew for a meeting. He tells Brian and Rhylee that they’re on the late shift. He wants to finish strong tomorrow, and says, keep focused. In his interview, he says, in the beginning, he tried to make Rhylee feel included, and give her the voice she felt she lost with Chandler and Ross. I must have missed him doing that. We flash back to Chandler and Ross, and Ashton says, even though Rhylee disrespected him, he doesn’t want to finish with them fighting. He just wants to squash the whole thing. Simone gets a hug from a guest who wishes her the best. In his interview, the captain says the timing of the cake couldn’t have been worse. It’s embarrassing for the last charter. The guests had been having a ball, and enjoying the evening.

Tanner calls his mom, who immediately asks if there are sharks are there. Tanner wonders how she thinks. In his interview, he says he loves his mom; she’s soft and gentle. If she was there, she would ask why everyone is so upset, and tell them, please stop it. Kevin goes back to the galley, and Kate says, it’s been a great season. He tells her, eff off. Kate says he’s being weird; the cake was gorgeous, and Courtney adds that the guests all ate it. Kevin says he feels like Kate was squishing him down by withholding information. Why would she do that? She asks, why have him stand in front of the guests with his d*ck on a silver platter? He called her a d*ck today, but guess what? Today she wasn’t the d*ck. He says, the cake was, and Kate says he presented it perfectly. He says Kate can’t train her staff to do a beach party by themselves, and she asks if he doesn’t think they can. He says he thinks they’re more than capable, but for some reason, she goes to the beach. Um… I think that’s her prerogative as chief stew. In Simone’s interview, she says she’s secretly enjoying Kevin standing his ground. Karma is a beautiful thing. Apparently, she doesn’t understand what karma is and how it works, since Kevin’s not exactly embarrassing Kate. Kate says Kevin is being defensive because he presented his penis poorly, and he says she’s unprofessional. He tells Brian that he just blew Kate off in the galley. She’s getting on his nerves. In Kevin’s interview, he says he wanted to finish on a high note. Frankly, I think Kevin would have done something like that to Kate in a heartbeat, and he’s just jealous that he didn’t think of anything that good. Or as appropriate.

Jemele emerges, and her friends tell her about how they were having a serious conversation with the captain at dinner, and in comes this huge d*ck. Jemele says, apparently, she missed out on something. They ask Kate for a side of balls.

Ashton radios Rhylee to meet him on deck. To herself, she says, on my way, pr*ck, but tells him, yes, sir. In Ashton’s interview, he says it’s their last night out, and he doesn’t want the same sh*t to happen. We flash back to their altercation in the market, and he says he wants to nip it in the bud. When Rhylee joins him, he hems and haws for a moment, and says it’s clear they have differences. He thinks it goes deeper than work. They’re two different people, and that’s okay. Who is he? Mr. Rogers? He tells her, it’s the end of the season, and he just wants to have a good night. She says she trusts in herself to hold herself accountable for her actions, and wants to end on an enjoyable night. He says they’re on the same page. In Rhylee’s interview, she says they have nothing to talk about. It’s their last night out, and she doesn’t give a f***.

The captain pulls anchor for the last time, and the boat heads out. Kate serves breakfast, which looks delicious. In Tanner’s interview, he says it’s their last night, and the odds are in his favor with Kate. It’s the fourth quarter, and they got it. Kevin has made custard buns, and wonders what to do with them, but Kate says, the last meal is over, and goes downstairs. Tanner says, someone has checked out, and Kevin says, someone checked out six weeks ago. In Kate’s interview, she says Kevin has made his fair share of large mistakes, and now he tried to embarrass her in front of the stews. He has two styles; a-hole and sleeping. The guests love the breakfast, and Kevin brings out the custard buns. Jemele says he looks like Tom Cruise. I’m not a fan, but I’d still say, maybe a poor man’s Tom Cruise. She says, about the cake… and apologizes for her absence. She heard he had an incredible d*ck, and he says he didn’t know she’d left. He thanks them, and says they’re his favorite charter this season. In his interview, he says, it’s such a relief to hear when you’re good at what you do. He made an amazing c*ck cake, and it was an amazing way to finish the charter.

Brain tells Courtney that she looks cute with her hair up. In her interview, she says, go away. Stop being cute. Honestly, maybe it’s me, but I don’t get the attraction that all the women seem to have for him. He has a bangin’ bod, but his face and personality is nothing to write home about. I’m not trying to be mean; I just don’t see it. The guests ask for a couple of bottles of champagne, and one of them says she’s living her best life. Kate gets the champagne, and they pop corks and shake the bottles out over the water. A+ for that. Sloppier guests would have just let it spray all over the deck. In Kate’s interview, she says Jemele was not her favorite at the beginning. She was the quintessential head mean cheerleader. But she realized she was wrong, and the grace to say it, and Kate respects that. It’s too bad the crew aren’t the same way. I think Kate’s personality is misunderstood because she’s not bubbly like a lot of the stews. Personally, I would find bubbly annoying, especially first thing in the morning.

The crew gets into their whites. Kate tells Tanner that he’s so cute. The guests pack, and Jemele says it’s going to take a month for her to recover. Anchor is dropped, and the captain scares Rhylee with the horn, which seems to be his things this season. Did the other boats not have one, or is he just getting bored? He calls everyone to the aft deck, and tells Kate that he’s savoring the last goodbye. Jemele says they thought everyone was amazing, and hopefully the tip reflects their value. They were all awesome. The guests leave, and Kate suggests they all jump off the boat right now.

Time for the tip meeting. Captain Lee says they made it. It’s the first time he didn’t need to terminate someone, and that says a lot. He tells them that they performed remarkably well. The tip is… $20K, or $1800 each. Yes! Finally. He says their total for the season was $154K; $7146 each. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s a good amount of money; they made it through the gauntlet. It wasn’t an easy season, but the tips make working with Kevin almost worth it. The captain tells them, tonight, a full moon party on a private beach has been arranged for them. In her interview, Kate says she doesn’t know what a full moon party is, but it sounds like a rave on the beach with a full moon. She never paid attention to the moon when she was at a rave, and doesn’t know what to expect.

The boat is cleaned, and laundry folded. Kate calls Rhylee, asking her to come to the pantry. Kate pours champagne for the girls. She says, it’s like a friendship bracelet, but better. In her interview, she says she’s never had a season where it was guys versus girls. The girls became extra bonded because the guys were such a-holes. In Simone’s interview, she tells us that she has a lot of things to say to Kate, but she’s not doing it. She just wants to say goodbye. The guys jump off the boat, and have a beer on deck. Courtney doesn’t know if she has anything more to say to Brian. They’ve basically been avoiding each other, and she has nothing to say. They’re not getting back together, and will probably never see each other again. They’re friendly, but it’s just weird.

Everyone gets ready to go out. The guys have shots. Tanner says it’s his last night, and he knows he’s having fun. He’s ready to effing go. The crew gets on a tender, and heads for shore. Brain and Ashton talk bro stuff, and Courtney tells Kate  that she was in their way. The beach looks amazing; it’s all done up like some awesome, weird carnival. There are ladyboys and girls in practically nothing, fire dancers and fire eaters, a private cabana, lots of liquor, and giant letters of fire spelling out MY VALOR. In her interview, Kate says, it’s a reason to drink alcohol and make bad decisions in the dark. Simone gets on a tree swing. The fire eater/dancers put on a show, and a guy twirls sticks with fire on each end. Kevin jumps over some of the fire letters, and by some miracle, manages not to get hurt. On the boat, Captain Lee does some ironing.

Brian gazes at Courtney, and finally sits next to her. He says he doesn’t want to end things on a bad note. It’s a little awkward, but he had fun with her. The whole season was about her. He doesn’t know what to do, and asks what she wants to do. She says, about what? and he says, just leave it as it is? She says, okay, and he says he was asking a question. She tells him that he’s full of sh*t, and then kisses him. In her interview, she says she just wants to end the season nicely. Kate tells Rhylee, Brian unleashed his secret weapon; he took his shirt off. Tanner sits with them, and Kate says he’s a breath of fresh drunken air.

In Ashton’s interview, he says he wants no negative feelings or regrets. He’s going to be a good boy. Kate, Rhylee, Simone, and Kevin take a selfie. Kevin says they had a good run, and Kate says he was a pain in the ass sometimes. He says the big mess up was when she stopped caring. They could all feel it. She asks if he thinks she’s not a good chief stew, and he says he doesn’t. She says she thinks he’s not good yacht chef either. He’s just a baker. He says she doesn’t know all about food, and Tanner says Kevin did a great job. He tells Kate, sorry, and she asks what Kevin did that was phenomenal. Kevin says Kate has nothing to back it up, and Kate leaves. Tanner tells Kevin that he was trying to defend him. Rhylee tells Simone that she thinks Kate feels vulnerable, but Simone says she’ll think things are okay between them, and then Kate says something that’s a jab. Tanner, Kevin, and some unidentified guy have shots. On the boat, the captain picks up an empty Greygoose bottle and calls it a dead soldier.

Tanner stumbles around after Kate, who keeps changing location. Rhylee chants, get it, get it, get it. Tanner tells Kate that he’s wanted to kiss her all day. She says he’s an idiot. HA-HA-HA! She tells him that he said Kevin was right. It’s never going to happen; she’s a lesbian. She’s getting more lesbian by the second, the more he talks. She tells him, get over it, and leaves. In Simone’s interview, she says she doesn’t have to deal with this sh*t anymore; she’s happy. It’s amazing that she can now wash her hands clean, and get on with the rest of her life.

Kevin kicks sand at Kate as he goes by. She says he got sand in her eyes. Brian tells him to say he’s sorry, and Kevin says, eff off. It doesn’t matter what happens. Then the subtitles tell us that Kevin says, I walrahrahrah. Kate wakes up Ashton, and tells him they have to go. He rounds up everyone, and they get back in the tender. Brian says this was the best experience of his life, and Kate says, except for the sand in her face. He tells her not to worry, and she asks if he’s sh*tting her. In his interview, Brian says, even though Kate is who she is, you don’t kick sand in someone’s face. He still thinks Kate is overeating. It’s what she does best.

When they get to the dock, Kate gives them the finger, says, eff off, and jets back to the Valor. Kevin tries to run on the dock, and Ashton stops him. When they get inside, Ashton tells Kevin that he has to cook now, and he also has a whole beach on his ass. Kate gives the camera the finger before she closes her cabin door. We see Kevin’s naked butt, which I never want to see again. He wraps his nakey self in a towel, and Ashton tells him, go to bed. I’m not quite sure what Kevin does under that towel, but I think it has something to do with a sparkler, since Brian says he’s going out with a bang, and they all die laughing. Tanner says, Jiminy Cricket, and Courtney leads Brian to the guest room.

It’s the final day. Tanner says he’s staying drunk so he doesn’t get a hangover. He’s still wasted. Kevin smiles at Kate, and she asks, why? He says he’s happy they’re getting off the boat. She says he kicked sand in her eye, but he insists he didn’t. She says, he did, and in his interview, he says he doesn’t remember doing it, but if he did, it was for a reason. She called him a sh*tty yacht chef. Tanner tries to get information out of Brian, who won’t kiss and tell. In his interview, he tells us to use our imagination. Kate tells Rhylee that Kevin didn’t bother to apologize. In Simone’s interview, she says Tanner is a child, and that’s a problem, but she might call him in the future. Not like that, but possibly platonic. She thinks saying goodbye to Kate is disingenuous. She did learn a valuable lesson; to be self-reliant. She wants to continue in yachting, and get more experience. Tanner asks if Kate wants a quickie, but she says, no. In his interview, Tanner says it makes him stay humble. In Kate’s interview, she says she doesn’t regret that they didn’t hook up, but if they’re ever in the same zip code, it’s a sure thing. Tanner tells Captain Lee, it’s the best job he ever had, and the captain tells him, be safe. Tanner says he’ll see them on the flipside.

Ashton tells Brian, it worked out nicely. Brian says, the drama washed away. Courtney is a cool chick, and he’s going to miss her. Ashton says, well done, bru, which is now like nails on a blackboard to me. Brian thanks Courtney for being so amazing. In her interview, Courtney says, saying goodbye to Brian is bittersweet. They had an easy friendship. When she gets back home, she wants to go out to a nice dinner that’s not pad Thai. She stops to play with a dog on the dock. Kevin thanks Captain Lee, who says he did an outstanding job. In his interview, Kevin says he knows where he wants to be now. He’s ready to go home to his daughter, take her on holiday, and go back to cooking food. He says, there are only so many fake apologies he can give to Kate. He walks out without saying goodbye. Kate says, goodbye, Thailand. It’s over. It’s the final straw.

Kate calls out, bye, Kevin. See you never. She tells Rhylee, Kevin didn’t even say goodbye, and Rhylee says, he’s a pr*ck. These people are a-holes. In Brian’s interview, he says it’s been a roller coaster ride, but in the end, he pulled through. He’s staying in yachting, and eventually becoming a captain. When he sees his daughter, he can relax. Rhylee says, seeing Ashton is going to be awkward, and Kate tells her, be civil; it’s over. Rhylee says, one day you’ll be a great bosun? but Kate says, that’s not civil. She tells Rhylee, no matter what anyone says, she’s a great asset. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if it’s the yachting world, or it’s her in the yachting world, but she’s thankful for Kate. Without Kate in her corner, she might not have stuck it through. She says goodbye to Captain Lee, and tells Ashton, it’s that time. In her interview, she says she’s not disappointed in her behavior. She showed reserve, and she’s proud of it. She tells Ashton that she appreciates him tolerating her, and he says, all the best. In Rhylee’s interview, she says she’s going to keep yachting in her back pocket, but right now she’s going back to Alaska and a fishing charter. She’s going to slay it, and not think twice about Ashton.

Kate guzzles a beer in the galley. In Ashton’s interview, he says he and Kate are leaving on good terms. They had two big fights, and he thinks she crossed department boundaries. She disrespected him, and he’s disappointed in the situation. He’s glad to say goodbye. In Kate’s interview, she says their goodbye was like their other interactions during the season; civil, but fake. Ashton tells Captain Lee, it’s been quite a year, and the captain compliments Ashton’s nice farmer tan, saying he has to even that sh*t out. Ashton thanks him for the bosun position, and guiding him through it. Captain Lee says Ashton had to grow, and he grew a lot. In his interview, Ashton says it was his first season as bosun, and he learned a lot. The captain tells him, no sailor ever learned anything in calm seas. In his interview, Ashton says there were things he could have handled better, but he learned he’s capable. He’s going to spend some time with Ross in Florida, then join a crew with no redheads.

Kate and Captain Lee hug. She tells him, chalk up another one. They made it again. She’s going to miss the boat. She says she’ll see him around Florida. He says, it’s been a slice, and she says, always is. In Kate’s interview, she says, it was a personally challenging season. She’s going to spend a week alone at a resort, then head back to Florida, pack up her life, and move to New York. She’s scared to move there, but she was scared to start yachting. She needs a new adventure.

Captain Lee says, he doesn’t know what it is about Thailand, but he still has best goddam job in the world.

Next time, the Reunion, and it looks like a doozie. Otherwise, I’d be completely bummed this season is over.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Captain Glenn of the Parsifal III, explained that he, deckhand Paget, and stew Ciara were a core family, and he’d brought Paget and Ciara in during the off-season. In her interview, Ciara said she and Paget had been friends, moved in together to save money, and then decided to date. Ciara never went to a conventional school, and grew up on a sailboat. While she’s technically a stew, Captain Glenn decided to put her on deck. Since she and Paget have never worked in the same department, this should prove interesting, as well as a test of their relationship. Chef Adam – a transfer from Below Deck Mediterranean – told us he’s spent a solid year driving around in a van with his dog, and cooking over an open flame. His jam is focusing on food and being single, and he assured us that he was still the same a-hole, d*ckhead (his words). Jenna, the chief stew from Canada, said she came up like a Navy SEAL, has high standards, and expects everything should be perfect. Second stew Madison told us that she was made for yachting, and is like the Energizer Bunny, living on candy and caffeine. She tries not to overwhelm people with her energy. She had been a competitive figure skater, and said she’d transferred her work ethic to sailing. Georgia is the third stew from South Africa, but said her British mother gave her and her siblings fake British accents. She gets more British when she drinks, and becomes the Queen of England by midnight. Chief engineer Byron (love that name!) is married with a young daughter, and finally, deckhand Parker said he grew up sailing, and was confident on smaller boats. This is his dream job.

In a first meeting, Jenna told the stews that she’s forward and direct, but not a bitch, which remains to be seen. She said she didn’t mind the stews having opinions, but didn’t want to be challenged, telling them, give it a few days. In her interview, she said she didn’t expect to be a mom, and her primary focus was on the guests, not whether the crew feels happy or loved. Adam remarked that the boat had been sitting on the dock too long, and looked like Ciara and Paget’s apartment. I don’t know what their apartment looks like, but if the boat is any indication, they’re both bad at housekeeping.

Captain Glenn told the crew that he’s laid back, and likes the crew to run their own departments. If anyone had a problem, they were to go to the department head first before going to him. In Adam’s interview, he said it was a welcome change, since he’d been under Captain Sandy’s thumb on Below Deck Med, and we flashed back to some of that. The captain added that he was also hands-on when it came to pitching in with work, but didn’t like fixing things in front of guests. Jenna made it clear that she was looking for attention to detail. If the a stew is paying attention, she knows she can trust them. In Georgia’s interview, she said she was never properly trained, but would love to have someone tell her if she’s doing it right.

During the preference sheet meeting, the captain told Paget, Jenna, and Adam that their first guests would be Alan and Jennifer. Alan had been a high level software engineer at Apple before retiring. Their daughter and friend Peyton would also be joining them, as well as friends Guy and Alessia, who were getting married just before the trip. They were looking to do some adventurous activities, and sailing. I guess they’re in the right place for the latter. Jenna said the boat looked like it had been boarded by pirates, and there were trash bags everywhere. In his interview, Paget said he didn’t want Ciara and himself to be that couple cuddling in the corner. Madison told Jenna about her five drunk tattoos, and in her interview, said she tries to be responsible when she’s drunk by keeping the tattoos to areas not normally seen. Then she pulled out her lower lip to show us MEOW inside, and said she didn’t like cats. I’m not even sure what to say about that. Everyone agreed the boat was a sh*t show, but somehow managed to get it cleaned up, and got on their green polos for greeting the guests.

Everyone counted only four people coming up the boardwalk, and Guy said their friends had been delayed, but were taking a plane in from Athens. It was the same routine as on a regular yacht, with the guests being greeted with warm towels and champagne, and the chief stew giving a tour. The boat is gorgeous, but of course, not as palatial as the motor yachts. Captain Glenn did enlighten us that sailboats have motors, without which it would be difficult to get in and out of port. The captain was impressed at how easily they got off the dock, but said the true test would be when they set the sails up. And unlike a motor yacht, everything loose has to be secured.

While Adam was anxious to cook Greek food, all of the preference sheets listed sushi, so he decided to go with that for the first meal. He wanted to get the job right. The dining area décor was really pretty, but for some reason, it reminded me of funeral home. The guests were happy with the sushi, as I would have been – it looked fabulous. Jenna told Adam that he wasn’t just a pretty face. He told us the galley was a fraction of the size of a motor yacht galley, and any nook or cranny was like gold. It’s like everything was cut in half. Right out of the gate, the hot tub was reading 75*, but the water was still cold. In his interview, Paget said if anything was wrong, it was on him, but he couldn’t figure it out. Byron came to the rescue, telling him, the heater switch has to be turned on. I would have laughed, but I’ve had those moments of stupidity myself. In Jenna’s interview, she said nothing was prepared, but she had to have her stew face on, hands behind her back, looking proper. After arriving at Miko Nisi in Corfu (Greece), there was some difficulty taking the sails back down, but Captain Glenn said they’d wait until the guests were off the boat to fix it. Apparently, it’s difficult to get the sails down, since they have to fold perfectly into something called a donkey d*ck – hey, I didn’t name it – which looked sort of like a gutter.

Jenna told Adam that she’d been engaged once, and he said he had been engaged once too. She asked what happened, and he said, yachting. In her interview, Jenna said her past ten relationships had been unhealthy ones. She always goes for the wrong people, and wanted to find her person. It didn’t take long before there was a major problem – no steak knives on board. Damn. Even I have steak knives. Adam said serving steak with improper cutlery in a fine dining scenario was the worst of the worst.

Alessia and Guy arrived by tender, and told everyone that they’d missed their own wedding because they never got to Vegas. In Jenna’s interview, she says she’s not the one getting married, but the person who is going to get screwed is her. Guy asked if the captain couldn’t marry them, and did he have an Elvis outfit.

This season, Madison says the sh*t is going to hit fan while they’re sailing, horrible guests, Adam and Jenna hook up (!), Jenna is told she has an attitude problem, someone (it looks like Parker) is on thin ice, and Parker asks if Paget thinks it’s funny that he’s still being breastfed. What? Please tell me that was the TV equivalent of clickbait.

⚖️ I don’t know if I’m going to love this show the way I do the others – the OG Below Deck being my forever favorite. This captain is a little too laid back for me, but the close quarters should make for some interesting drama, and the clip of those horrible guests was intriguing. In other words, the jury is still out.

🍾 Your New Crew…

Meet the newbies on Deck.

https://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-sailing-yacht/about

🏖 A Little More…

A supplement on the newest baby in the Deck franchise.

https://www.realitytea.com/2020/02/03/meet-the-cast-of-below-deck-sailing-yacht-photos/#/slide/1

🤽🏻‍♀️ I see Shep Rose is going to be on Summer House. He belongs with those immature twits.

🐶 They’re All Winners…

The only bowl that matters.

https://nypost.com/2020/02/02/puppy-bowl-2020-winner-recap-team-fluff-barks-its-way-to-victory/

🎄 Why Not…?

They’re always having it in July.