What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

GH has already been in progress for a half hour while the president said blah-blah-blah during the first half.

At the hospital, Anna rags on captive audience Julian about how he’s such a d-bag. I love that they’re just leaving her alone in his room.

Theo is surprised that Nicholas is alive. Jason suggests he talk to him personally.

At the MetroCourt, Laura talks to Dante and Lulu about Nicholas. Dante says he has to call it in immediately, but Laura isn’t certain where Nicholas is.

Ava tells Nicholas it’s clear that he did something bad, and now he’s trying to cover it up. She says in the moment, it seems necessary, but no matter how careful you try to cover your tracks, you miss something, and one mistake snowballs until it tries to take over your life. She says you dream of the moment before it happened and think you can change it, but when you wake up, that’s impossible.

Jason brings Theo to Nicholas. Theo says he’s glad to see him alive and safe.

Hayden tells Tracy what she knows about Finn’s condition. Tracy agrees to help.

Finn starts to write in his journal, but he’s too agitated. He tries making a call, but no one picks up.

Anna tells Julian about everything that’s wrong with him, and to add insult to injury, keeps comparing him to Sonny, who she defines as a good guy. She says Alexis and Julian’s children despise him now. Barely conscious Julian says it could have been Anna going to prison for murder and she’s no better than he is. She says she owned up to what she did and was exonerated. She says she learns from her mistakes, but he never has, which is why he’s there. She says she’s done with him and she’s leaving town to spend the rest of the summer with her family because she’s free and never threw her life away. She tells him how much she hates him and says everything we’ve wanted to say all along. She breaks down in tears outside the door.

Griff sees Anna slide to the floor and takes her hand. Man, Griff and Nathan have it all. How did Claudette get so lucky?

Sam gives Ava and Nicholas their shoes back. Jason has decided he wants them downstairs where he can keep an eye on them. Theo tells Nicholas his wife is very beautiful, but he says Ava isn’t his wife. He asks if Theo ever met Helena, but Theo says no; his father would bring the fish to the kitchen back in the day.

Laura suggests they all go to Cassadine Island. Dante says his first thought about Greece is no, but he knows if he says that, they’ll just do what they want anyway, and they should do this as a family.

Finn tells Roxie he’s running out of time. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Hayden and Tracy, who says they got there just in time.

Griff tells Anna she deserves a break, but he’ll miss knowing she’s there. He sits next to her on the floor and asks how it went with Julian. Anna expresses her disgust at how unfair it is that Julian is still breathing and Duke is gone. She says she’s been holding onto vengeance and calling it justice. She says the longer you carry it, the heavier it gets, but she feels like she finally let the weight go. Griff says she liberated her spirit, but Anna says she wouldn’t go that far. She says Julian has lost everything he cares about and only has himself to blame.

Amy asks Julian if he needs anything, adding that she has pepper spray and she’s not afraid to use it. It’s highly doubtful though, that Julian is going to be attacking anybody.

Griff says he’s wavered a little in his life. He says there are things in his history he’s not proud of, but Anna says regret is part of the human condition. Griff wonders what Duke would think of him. Anna says he’d love and accept Griff with open arms and heart. She talks about how Duke would want to build a relationship with him and Finola Hughes is so believable, I almost start crying. She tells Griff she’ll see him when she gets back and not to take off and reinvent himself again. They hug.

Hayden tells Finn she had to call in the cavalry, meaning Tracy. Tracy says she considers Finn a friend, but friends ask for help when they need it. She asks Finn what drug he needs. He says it’s illegal in this country and explains they need a drug mule. Tracy volunteers herself and Hayden.

Dante tells Lulu he’s not doing this for Nicholas, but for her. Laura calls Doc and tells him she’ll be out of town to find Nicholas, but doesn’t want to give him too many details. She says his friendship has meant everything.

Jason tells Sam he wants to keep an eye on these people. She says Nicholas isn’t going anywhere, but Jason says that’s not who he’s worried about. We see Theo’s tattoo again as he looks over the family history book.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth questions Franco, Hayden has a problem with being a mule, and Finn tells Griff to mind his own business.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Kathryn asks if it’s happening again and Hannah tells her it is. Kathryn cries about how unfair it is. She thinks she’s being punished for covering up Wyatt’s hit and run. Kathryn brings up something Hannah said to her ages ago and Hannah tells her to get some rest. Kathryn says it won’t help because Wyatt still won’t be there when she wakes up. Hannah tells her she does believe we reap what we sow. Kathryn asks if that’s why Wyatt died. Hannah says this is why she didn’t want to have this conversation right now, but we get back what we put out there. She doesn’t think God took Kathryn’s children away as punishment, but there’s a reaping coming. She says if you plant an apple tree, you can’t be surprised if apples grow on it. Yep.

Kathryn says there are apples all around and Hannah suggests they not do this now. Kathryn thanks her for coming. She wonders who’s going to tell Jim, and then asks Hannah to tell him. She says there’s no one else. Hannah says she’s not doing that and I’m also thinking Kathryn is asking too much. Hannah says Kathryn should do it, but she says she can’t even look at Jim. She begs Hannah to tell him. Kathryn says Hannah is a child of God and represents compassion and Jim sees that. Hannah is aghast that Kathryn would ask such a thing of her. Kathryn starts to beg. She says she doesn’t want him to hear it from the DA or another prisoner.

Warlock wakes Candace, telling her time’s up. She says she’ll get the money today. He says when the clock strikes five, she’d better have it in cash. She says she can’t get cash and he gets abusive.

The phones still aren’t ringing at Benny’s tow yard. Mitch asks how well Benny knows War. He thinks there’s something wrong with him. Benny calls David and leaves a message to call him back. Mitch wonders if Candace and War are hooking up, but Benny says War is like family. Benny says if the phones aren’t ringing in an hour, he’s paying David a visit. Mitch says he doesn’t want to go into business with War. Benny says War has had his back, and Candace’s, and he’d be in jail if it wasn’t for him. He tells Mitch that War would die for either one of them and to back off. It was like they were having two different conversations there for a while. Benny says if Mitch wants in on the business, that’s cool, but War is definitely in.

Warlock enters. Benny asks if he’s going in on the business. War says he wants to observe, and Benny says it’s a slow day. Mitch says he’s going out for coffee. Benny offers War a seat. War has a serious face and I’m not sure why he’s not making Benny nervous or at least curious.

Jeffrey visits Candace. She gives him his new phone. He tells her about Maggie, but she’d already heard about it. Candace goes upstairs and the phone rings. It’s Justin who wants to see Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he’s busy, but Justin insists.

As Candace is leaving, Mitch is coming up the walk. He wants to know what’s going on, but Candace says she can’t talk right now. He says just tell him and Candace says she owes War money. He offers to give it to her, but she says he doesn’t have that kind. Mitch mentions his brothers and Candace tells him not to get them involved and asks if Benny knows about them. Mitch asks if War is raping her for the money and she says no. She thanks him for caring and he says he always has. I like Mitch. I’m assuming his brothers are in the Mafia or something though.

When Candace leaves, Mitch calls someone. He asks if they still have a narc cop on payroll. He tells whoever to set War up.

Jeffrey gets to his mother’s house and sees someone cleaning the blood off the walkway. Veronica, who has a rockin’ new hair-do, hugs him and critcizes his wardrobe. She tells him she wants him to go home and change, but she wants him to see his room first. He says he’s not moving back in, but she doesn’t hear that and calls for champagne. I love Veronica. She is so on another planet. An evil, twisted planet.

Veronica shows Jeffrey the room. With a crib in it. She says that’s where he and Melissa are going to live. So, in that huge house, she can’t make a separate nursery? She asks if Jeffrey wants champagne and he asks if she remembers Maggie was murdered there yesterday. She says she heard someone was also murdered at Candace’s place. She asks if he’d like to talk about that or the wedding. Jeffrey chooses the wedding.

She tells him to wear a black suit when he comes back tonight. She says she invited his father and hopes he comes because it’s a festive occasion. She says, “Happy time, happy, happy,” like a full-blown nut.

Lloyd has Candace sign the papers. She wants to read them and he tries to rush her. She tells him she needs the money in cash. Lloyd is like, wh-a-a-at? and says that kind of money has to be ordered. Candace says she needs it in cash by five. He says he’ll call some of the branches and see what he can do.

Justin, in bed with Jeffrey, tells Jeffrey to uncuff him. Justin says Jeffrey is angry today, and does his usual he’s not gay riff. Jeffrey says he’s not going to see Justin again. He says he doesn’t like it. Justin says he can’t just start this and then stop it. He says Jeffrey has said a lot of things that make sense to him. Jeffrey says Justin is a sick man and to just get out. Justin says Jeffrey is temperamental, just like a chick, and Jeffrey says at least he wasn’t screaming like one. Justin grabs Jeffrey’s throat and Jeffrey says go ahead. Again, Justin asks what’s wrong and Jeffrey tells him to get out. Wow. Justin almost seemed human in that scene.

WTF? Does Candace have a camera at Benny’s office? She’s looking at her phone and sees War there with a gun. She calls War and puts Lloyd on the phone to tell him the money is coming in and they’re working as fast as they can. He asks for Candace again and asks her what she’s trying to pull. She pretends they’re going on a trip to Vegas together and he’s some kind of promoter.At the tow yard, War makes up something about the call.

Justin says he’d thought Jeffrey was a good guy. Jeffrey says sometimes people make you change. He thanks Justin for being one of them. Justin leaves.

Candace calls War and says the money is in. She asks him to meet her at the bank. He fingers his gun.

Ha-ha! Jeffrey shows up at Veronica’s in a purple flowered suit. She asks if he’s afraid of her and he says she knows he is. She says it must not be too much, since he showed up in something that looks like a dress. She says she should send him back home, but instead gives him the ring for Melissa. Veronica wonders where David is and says he hasn’t been taking her calls.

Melissa arrives. Veronica says she’s not showing yet, which is an understatement, making me wonder if she’s really pregnant. Veronica tells Jeffrey that when a lady enters the room, he’s to stand, and he asks where the lady is. Ouch! Veronica tells him to kiss Melissa and he pecks Melissa on the cheek. She tells Jeffrey to show Melissa their room while she checks on dinner.

Jim is brought to the visiting room. Hannah tells him she’s there for Kathryn. She says it’s about Wyatt. Jim thinks she’s there to curse him out or watch him fall apart. He says it’s not going to happen. He goes on about other theories and the lawsuit. He asks if she’s going to take it all and asks what she wants. Hannah says she’s there at Kathryn’s request and that Wyatt is dead. She says Kathryn couldn’t tell him herself and she didn’t want him to hear it from someone else. She tells Jim that Wyatt OD’d.

Nwzt time, Jim offers hannah money, veronica forces melissa on jeffrey, and Melissa offers to help Jeffrey take Veronica down.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Captain Mark tells Hannah that the guests are “perceiving” her displeasure with them. She tells the captain that she’s been professional, but the guests are vulgar, disgusting and rude. Now tell us how you really feel. The captain suggests having Tiffany and Julia pinch hit. He says it’s just a personality thing and not a level of service issue, so it’s all good.

Word gets out about the guests extending their charter. Hannah lets the other stews know they’ll need to fill in for her.

Bryan has Danny and Bobby clean something or other. In his interview, Bryan calls Danny a turd burger because he’s incredibly mature. The guests wonder what the crew must be doing while they’re hanging out needing drinking supplies. For one thing, cleaning up the guests’ disgusting messes. I’m not even going to tell you what Tiffany found. Greek snacks are demanded, and I’m not sure if Ben even knows what that means. Julia takes the guests’ drink orders. One of the primaries says she’s nice in a hateful way. In the galley, Julia says it would be nice if they’d say please and thank you.

Danny wants his phone back, but Bryan isn’t too receptive to that. Julia asks Danny if he actually works, as he leans up against the washer, watching Julia and Tiffany doing the laundry. Julia says every time she gets near the guests, they want something else and Hannah thinks they might run out of vodka. Ben is getting testy.

Hannah says the guests wouldn’t know five-star service if it smacked them in their Botoxed faces. From the looks of one of the bathrooms, they’re a bunch of slobs. It’s anchors away and Danny asks Captain Mark if he can have his phone back, promising to keep it in his cabin during work hours. The captain is okay with it, making Bryan livid.

Surprisingly, the guests go to bed when they get back from a night out on shore. One of them makes plans with the captain for the next day. Hannah and Ben talk. The captain tells Bryan that the guests want ATVs for the morning, which means they have to go back to where they came from because it’s the only place that has them.

Julia talks to her boyfriend and says she can’t wait to get off the boat. She tells us that people think yachting is glamorous, but it’s a sixteen hour day and she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep it up.

The captain tells Bryan and Bobby that the guests have requested designated drivers for tomorrow, and they plan the logistics. Julia asks Bryan if he can get croissants from the local bakery for one of the guests. Jen is getting tired of the Danny thing and says he’s like a sinking ship that you don’t want to get too close to. Julia orders breakfast burritos from Ben, but in the meantime, Bryan has come through with the miracle croissants, which only one guest wants now. Why not have both?

In his interview, Bryan says something about Jen and Danny being like farts in the wind, like he’s Confucius. Ben thanks Bryan for the croissants. Julia starts talking about how one of the guests wanted them and suddenly she and Ben are arguing. I think it’s really about something else though, because Julia starts to cry.

Hannah tells Julia to breathe and that everything is fine. Ben tells Jen he can’t figure out what the big deal is. Julia tells Hannah she’s tired of people taking advantage of her because she’s nice.

Breakfast is served. Julia says she doesn’t get Ben’s ups and downs. She thinks he acts condescending toward her because he comes from a different, more educated class than she does.

Captain Mark tells Hannah he needs one of the stews for the excursion. Tiffany tells Bobby about what happened with Julia and Ben. She seems to encourage his unwanted flirtation with Julia, which isn’t very sisterly. Bryan tells Danny he’s going to be one of the drivers, but his phone stays on the boat.

Bobby approaches Julia. She tells him thanks, but she’ s okay. No surprise, Danny enchants the guests. He, Bobby, Ryan, and Tiffany are the drivers. The ATVs go up a humongous hill and it looks like stunt driving to me. Danny is miffed because the other two guys take pictures with their cell phones.

Ben tells Julia she’s confusing him and wonders why she created an issue in the galley. She says she heard him talking to Bryan about the croissants and that he uses his intelligence to put people down. She says he’s the kind of upper crust person she tries to avoid in England. Ben says she’s overtired. Julia says he’s constantly overreacting and she’s tired of his arrogance.

Ben doesn’t feel right about how Julia is looking at him. He says he grew up privileged, but didn’t want to rest on his laurels because that’s not how his father taught him, and that’s why he left England. Tiffany thinks Ben is just being funny, not condescending.

On land, the group goes to a bar. Bryan frowns, seeing Danny look at one of the guests’ phones. The captain calls, trying to move things along. Danny only has one female ATV passenger and gets her number. Back at the boat, Bryan desperately wants to say Danny screwed up, but he didn’t, so it’s killing him.

The boat docks for the evening. Dinner is served. Danny shows Jen a calendar one of the Tilted Kilt girls sent him and Bryan rolls his eyes. There is constant cleaning behind the scenes.

After the guests go to bed, Ben talks to Hannah about Julia. He says he’s more sensitive than people think. Hannah says maybe Julia isn’t used to working with his kind of personality. He whines that it doesn’t mean he’s the worst human that ever lived and Hannah says no, that was Hitler.

I have the sudden desire for a croissant. Ben is having the feels about the issue between him and Julia. He tells Hannah it hit home. He says being privileged and educated has worked against him. He’s just an everyday person with an accent and everyone takes him for having a silver spoon in his mouth. Ben starts to cry and Hannah hugs him. Well. Ben says he left home young and did everything for himself. He can’t believe he’s crying and neither can I.

Next time, we visit Santorini, the crew has a night out, Danny gets caught with his phone, and Bobby and Julia argue.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kristina leaves a message for Parker while strolling through the park. Aaron comes up behind her and asks who Parker is.

Dante and Lulu toast to their new home. Dante adds, to a drama free closing. Good luck with that. Lulu says she has so many things to be thankful for, but misses Nicholas.

Some guy comes to the door of the shed. Jason says he’s looking for some people and maybe the guy can help.

Nicholas, who has chartered a plane, tells Ava that he’s had a couple of fortune reversals lately, one of which came from Hayden. Ava says she thought they weren’t getting along and he says it wasn’t exactly voluntary. He tells her he’s had a change of heart though, and he’s going to Greece without her.

Julian goes back and forth in his head about loving Alexis and killing her. She tells him she didn’t hear him come in and the bath is making her feel better. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny. Alexis asks what Julian wanted and he says nothing really, and she goes to answer the door.

Alexis tells Sonny it’s not a good time. He wants to know why she’s still protecting Julian and she says he’s not helping. He says she’s not just hurting herself, she’s hurting Kristina. Julian comes downstairs and Sonny wants to know what he’s doing there. Um…it’s his house.

Ha-ha! Kristina and Aaron’s feet are so loud on the pathway, we can barely hear their conversation. Hello? Sound person? Kristina tells him about her mother. He says he’s not trying to be nosy, but from the tone of her voice, he was curious as to who Parker is. He said it sounded like she was leaving a message for a boyfriend. She says trust her, Parker isn’t a boyfriend.

Lulu asks Dante if he thinks Nicholas is still alive and he says no because he stinks as a cop. She says she’s been moving in that direction too, and once she and Laura accept it, they’ll have to consider living without Nicholas for the rest of their lives and she’s not ready for that.

Ava tells Nicholas that she was going to give the statue copy to a London dealer and if he couldn’t authenticate it, that would be his problem. Nicholas tells her again, she’s not coming with him, but she voices her concern about Hux following her.

Jason describes Ava and Nicholas to the guy, who says he hasn’t seen them. Jason thanks him, and starts to leave, but dude pulls out a gun and says Jason isn’t going anywhere.

Aaron says Kristina is obviously reaching out to someone she cares about. She tells him Parker is her ex, but technically, they never even started. She says they’re the definition of “it’s complicated.” Aaron is like okay, and Kristina is surprised he’s not bugging her for more information. He says his ex called him recently about an emergency, and during the conversation, he realized why he fell for her, but also why they broke up. Kristina thanks him for being cool about things. He says she has a friend in him and asks if she’d like a ride home.

Sonny asks what kind of husband would let his wife take a murder rap for him. He says he has to do what he can to protect his daughter and niece. Alexis tells them both to shut up and says their grandstanding and chest thumping isn’t what she needs. She says she wants Julian out and she’ll pack up his stuff. Sonny tells Julian he’s a psycho and Alexis is going to get to the point where she doesn’t want to save him anymore. Julian leaves.

Sonny asks Alexis what she’s thinking by being alone with Julian. Alexis says she was working him until Sonny blew it for her.

Nicholas asks what Ava’s long term plans are. He says Hux will track her down if she goes back home, but she says by the time she gets back to Port Charles, the real statue will be in the hands of a high-profile dealer and Hux won’t be able to do anything. She needs a place to lay low in the meantime.

Jason tells dude (who I wish had a name) that he doesn’t want any trouble. He assumes the guy works for Hux, who doesn’t want any witnesses to his kidnapping of Ava and Nicholas. Dude tells him right on the first try.

Sonny asks what he plan was and Alexis says she was recording him. She says Julian out-maneuvered her and her only way out was getting a confession. Sonny says the only way Julian knows he’ll be safe is killing her. Alexis says he’d never do that, because then he’d be the number one suspect. Sonny says again that Julian is only safe with her out of the way.

Julian sits at the bar downing shots. Lulu tells Dante she’ll have to call Lucky and tell him about Nicholas. She says living in denial is easier because with no body, there’s a chance. Hey, on this show, you can have a body and still have a chance.

Ava says if Nicholas wanted to, he could make up a plausible cover story and go back to Port Charles.

Jason distracts the gunman and then struggles with him. The gun goes off. How predictable was that?

Alexis says Julian is a monster. Sonny adds he’s a coward with no code. Alexis is like, oh, I guess a code makes you better mobster. Sonny says he might not be the best guy, but he doesn’t murder his friends and pin it on his wife. Alexis says they all live in glass houses and insists Julian isn’t going to kill her. She says she needs o find a way to clear her name and salvage some aspect of her life.

Aaron and Kristina flirt. Then they kiss. Kristina pulls away and Aaron asks if he did something wrong. She says she just wants to check on her mom. He asks if he can see her later and she tells him to text her and leaves.

Ava makes up a story for Nicholas about how he got picked up by a freighter and had memory problems when he came to. He says he already did once, and she says good, then he has a history. When he gets back he’ll be welcomed with open arms and he can say a *burglar pushed him out the window. Nicholas says if he goes back, he goes back to the reasons he left, and it’s better he remain dead.

*Ava actually used the word robber, but having been burgled, I know there’s a difference. A robber is someone who steals from a person; a burglar breaks into your house. In the made up story, Nicholas would have been surprised by a burglar. I know this is nit-picky, but I’ve been watching this for 50 years.

The gun is on the floor and Jason is still struggling with the guy. Jason gets the gun. And shoots.

Breaking news. Because nothing can ever wait until 4 o’clock. A whole 15 minutes from now. Explosions in Istanbul’s airport. Well, that’s not good, although I still think it could have waited. To ABC’s credit, we’re back quickly. They know how the fans can get.

Julian is still drinking when we get back. He thinks about how he almost killed Alexis. Sonny enters. Dante and Lulu tell him about the house and he acts surprised. I note that Sonny is aging really, really well and looks fit and tan. It pays to be in the coffee business. He calls Max, telling him Julian is where he said he would be, and to tell Diane thanks about Dante and Lulu’s house.

Sonny approaches Julian, who asks if Sonny is stalking him. He says obviously coming here was a mistake and Sonny says it’s not his first one.

Ava asks how long before they board. She’s all nervous, and Nicholas says it’s a private gate and Hux can’t follow them there. He says he hopes she understands he wants to keep things on the down low. They sort of flirt a little. Ava says she enjoys living off the grid with him because they have no history. She says with him, she’s a blank slate. I’m noting how much new Nicholas looks like Matthew Perry in the new Odd Couple. Which I highly recommend. I’m not much of a sitcom person, but it’s as funny as the old one. Maybe more so.

Okay, I guess Jason shot past the guy. He makes dude get on the floor, hands behind his back, and ties his hands together. He tells him to get up and I’m very impressed at how deft he is in doing it.

Dante asks Lulu if she wants him to call Lucky to come back to Port Charles. She says Lucky is a restless soul and spends most of his time in Africa helping refugees. She doesn’t think it’s a good idea to call him back, and that sometimes you have to accept what makes people happy. She says talking about Lucky makes her miss Nicholas more and that he saved her life once. Dante says without Nicholas, there would be no “us.” She says maybe they can name their next baby after him and Dante agrees. I’m almost sad, even though I know Nicholas is very much alive.

Jason tells dude to tell Hux that Ava and Nicholas are no longer his problem, and if he sees Hux around, he’s going to put a bullet in his head. Instead of being grateful Jason didn’t kill him, dude complains about being left with only his hands tied. Geez, count your blessings. Jason leaves with the gun.

Nicholas says Hux can’t search everywhere and she should book a flight to somewhere like Bali and leave him to clean up his own mess. She says she’s enjoyed traveling with Nicholas. He says he’s enjoyed her unexpected company and wouldn’t mind continuing on with her. The plane is ready. They both board.

Alexis tries asking Kristina about her life, but Kristina is too freaked, wondering why they didn’t arrest Julian. Alexis says they’ll find a way to prove he did it, but they have to stay calm in the meantime. She says it’s actually making her sick to her stomach and I have a flash of an idea that she’s pregnant.

What? Sonny read my mind. He asks Julian what man would let his pregnant wife stand trial. I guess she told him this off-screen? Or is he that good at picking up on it?

Tomorrow, Nathan almost sees Maxie’s wedding dress, Dillon doesn’t want to give up Kiki without a fight, Sonny tells Julian not to touch him, and Alexis admits she’s pregnant. I guess she is doomed to have mobsters’ children.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Danny tells Hannah she has an ugly personality and she responds like and adult, saying Danny is the one everybody hates. Bobby and Bryan insult Danny when he comes back to the table. Hannah talks to Julia and says Danny creates drama. She brings up that he took Ben’s side in an argument, like anyone cares. She says she’s going to go out of her way to annihilate him. Maybe these people shouldn’t drink. Ben tells Danny to cool it or he won’t be able to help in the galley anymore.

Julia and Jen decide to put a condom on an exceptionally long cucumber or zucchini or something. Bobby calls it Sex Ed 101, but I call it Boredom 101.

Hannah asks Ben to talk. She somehow connects Danny’s antics with Ben just wanting to be friends with her. She says apparently, they’re just work colleagues. Ben says successful work colleagues can be friends too. In his interview, Ben talks about them almost having a war over what to call a dish, so could you imagine a romance between them?

Captain Mark is annoyed that the crew’s mess is a mess. Ha-ha! Hannah calls Bobby into her cabin and asks him to help her change. I guess because she’s drunk. She starts making out with him, saying in her interview that she’d been hesitant with Bobby, not knowing where she stood with Ben. She asks what happened after she left the dinner, which is not much, and tells Bobby that she’s going to make Danny’s life a living hell. She asks if Bobby wants to help. Sigh.

Bryan tells Danny to make a list of what he thinks is required for his job – according to Bryan. He actually does pretty well and Bryan says there’s no excuse for breaking those rules now. Double sigh.

Bobby tells Julia about Hannah’s mission. She says Danny does bring a lot of drama.

Hannah goes to the wheelhouse and tells the captain about Danny taking photos of the guests and showing them to other guests. As far as I know, he only showed one guy the Tilted Kilt girls. Hannah says it’s getting to be too much and she’s just giving Captain Mark a heads up. The captain says he’s never had anyone so ethically professionally challenged as Danny. I think this is what you get for hiring someone that young and inexperienced. Don’t they go to a class and get an employee handbook or something? Do they just hire these people off the street?

Captain Mark calls Danny in and talks to him about the pictures. The captain says it’s hard to discipline a new crew member when they didn’t know what they were doing is wrong. Like any good teacher captain, Captain Mark says he’s going to keep Danny’s phone while guests are on the boat.

The next charter is all women for a girls’ retreat. The primary, Linda, is the CEO of a wealth building system using luxury brands, which sounds like an MLM to me. Ben is glad to hear they want dinner on the beach so he can get out of the hot, sweaty galley.

Bryan asks Julia about cleaning up the crew mess. He gets bossy and she asks if he’s drunk. He gives the women orders and doesn’t want to help. Julia asks if he’s just going to stand there and watch, and he gets annoyed. Hannah says he’s being rude and he says he’s just doing his job. Hannah suggests either he walk away or they do. He leaves and Hannah tells Julia they should take five minutes to re-group. Bryan boomerangs back, following them to the galley. Hannah tells him he’s being aggressive and to knock it off.

Julia says she doesn’t want to be cleaning when she’s supposed to be doing the crew’s laundry. I’m assuming everyone contributed to this untidiness, why aren’t they all helping to clean up? In his interview, Bryan says he’s not sorry for being a dick. Really. He said that. Hannah thinks he should stay away from alcohol. I concur. The girls are having a snack in the crew mess and Hannah expresses her annoyance with Bryan.

Bryan asks to talk to Danny who is deathly ill. I don’t think Bryan believes it though. Ben thinks Hannah put voodoo on Danny. The crew gets ready for the charter. Hannah calls for a jeweler to bring a collection to the yacht for the guests to peruse.

Bryan tells the captain about Danny, who says he doesn’t want him infecting the rest of the crew. Bryan apologizes to Julia without apologizing. She says when he drinks, he gets aggressive and you should never stand over a woman the way he did. She says she doesn’t want to be confronted like that again. In her interview, she says even her parents never did that to her, and Bryan would get more out of the crew if he had more compassion. I see why everyone likes Tiffany – she stays very far away and out of the drama.

The guests arrive and the boat leaves port. A ferry is coming in and they have to hurry. Bryan doesn’t think Jen knows how to do as much as she says she does. Maybe it’s him.

The guests have Margaritas on deck. One of them says she’s never had a tequila hangover. God bless her. Years ago, I had one so bad, I never drank it again. The crew packs everything for the beach day. Bryan wants to talk to Jen, but she’s wrangling one of the jet skis that escaped. He says there’s a disconnect between Jen and her brain. Maybe, but Bryan has a disconnect between himself and humanity. In her interview, Jen says she’s seen good in Bryan, but thinks the job has gone to his head and he’s sexist.

The guests jet ski around. The crew packs up the picnic, but it’s noticed that the marshmallows aren’t exactly the right ones to make the requested s’mores. I agree, since they’re weird shapes and colors. Who bought those? The crew sets everything up on shore.

Ben makes a fabulous meal and the guests are impressed. I’m not sure what he’s doing with those s’mores though. The marshmallows are a total mess. Bobby says they’re like strawberry Peeps. Doesn’t matter. Either they still taste good enough or the ladies are drunk enough not to care. Everyone is happy.

Captain Mark checks on Danny. At last check, his temperature was 101. The captain says he’ll try to find something for him. He’s concerned the entire crew might get wiped out if it’s contagious.

The guests come back and go straight to bed. Hannah thinks she’s died and gone to heaven, the guests are so undemanding. Bobby tries to get advice from Jen about Julia. In her interview, Jen says he’s not Julia’s type even if she was single.

The Captain tells Ben that Danny’s temperature is now 103.2. He gives Danny something similar to liquid Tylenol and is trying to get the fever down. In his interview, Ben says this is nothing to fool around with. In her interview, detestable Hannah says karma’s a bitch.

Hannah and Bobby are having a thing. She says he’s nice about ten times in her interview. Danny’s temperature is 102.9 the next morning. Not much improvement. Bryan wants Jen to practice her knots. Even though there are several ways to do them, he wants it done his way. Bobby tells Julia about whatever is going on between him and Hannah. Like she cares. In her interview, she wonders if he’s trying to make her jealous or being one of those friends you can tell anything to.

The guests are loving everything and the crew is loving the guests. Tiffany thinks Bryan is being ridiculous with Jen about the knots.

Next temperature check is 102.7. Ben tells Danny to hang in there. He tells the captain that Danny’s temperature is still way high. He asks the captain what he wants to do. In his interview, the captain says it’s not like they’re on land and they can just drive somewhere. Ben puts on the air conditioning for Danny. Crap, his temperature is back to 103.2 again.

A few of the guests do the jet ski thing again. The captain confers with some of the other crew members and says they have to get Danny off the boat.

Next time, the guests are a group of hard partiers who want to party so hard they need a vacation from the vacation, Julia gets miffed at Ben and more knot instruction by Bryan.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Long story short, Jeffrey seduces Justin.

David continues to beat the snot out of Jim. The guard finally pulls him off. David tells the guard that Jim put a hit out on his wife. The guard says his wife is here. She’s in the interrogation room being questioned. David finds out it was Maggie who was killed – at Veronica’s house. That’s right, David, put two and two together.

I have some chocolate babka during the commercial break and laugh about that Seinfeld episode all over again.

Jeffrey has Justin handcuffed to the bed and puts his clothes back on. Justin tells Jeffrey to give him the key and says he’s not gay. Jeffrey asks him why he’s angry. He says Justin is the type who gets angry at the other guy for what he did, and he was like that once. Jeffrey puts the key out of Justin’s reach and says he has to go, but Justin will figure it out. He says he just doesn’t trust him. He says Justin is way to angry and he’ll take it out on him because he enjoyed it. He says when Justin can calm down and come out of the closet, and he’s ready to help him take down Veronica, call him. He tells Justin good luck and leaves.

David says he needs to talk to his wife. The guard says it will be just a little while. Veronica asks if she’s a suspect and looks appropriately shaken up. She says Maggie was her friend. I don’t know who is doing the interrogating, but Veronica tells her about the guy she thought she saw in the neighbor’s backyard and how Maggie pulled up and she told her to go inside.

Oscar calls David. He says Jim called off the hit. David tells him Maggie got killed. Oscar says Jim wouldn’t be so sloppy, hiring some guy from the hood, and Jim definitely called it off. Oscar says look at the bright side, his wife is still alive. David is like, yeah, right, the bright side.

Veronica asks how she could have known anyone was in the house and starts to cry over Maggie being her friend. The guard comes in and says something to the interrogator. She tells Veronica that David is there. David walks in and Veronica throws her arms around him, sobbing. She asks him to take her home. He asks the interrogator to schedule another time and she says they’ll call. Veronica acts all stressed out and runs out the door.

Benny gets back from visiting Candace. Hannah asks what she said. He says nothing. He might as well just tell her. He admits Candace won’t let either one of them take Quincy Jr. Hannah goes on about all of Quincy Jr.’s needs and wants to call Candace about giving him his morning medicine. Benny says he’ll call. Hannah asks him if Quincy Jr. was even there and Benny says no.

Hannah asks where he is and Benny says he doesn’t know. Hannah picks up the phone and calls Aliyah. She asks where her grandson is. Aliyah says she can’t discuss it and Hannah has to talk to her daughter. Hannah says Quincy Jr. isn’t with Candace and she’ll call the police. Aliyah keeps repeating she can’t say anything, but then does. She says Quincy Jr. was put in temporary foster care by Candace. Hannah asks where and Aliyah says she can’t tell her that and keeps saying she’s sorry. She finally says good-by.

Hannah tells Benny that Quincy Jr. is in foster care. She wants to go to Candace right now. Benny tells her she’s going to have a heart attack. Hannah says she doesn’t care, as long as she’s whoopin’ Candace’s ass when she goes, she’ll die happy. Benny keeps telling her to calm down, but Hannah can’t believe Candace would put Quincy Jr. in foster care because she hates Hannah so much. She cries out to God for help. I love Hannah’s heart, but man! she can be dramatic.

Jeffrey sees Landon at the hotel bar. He asks if Jeffrey has seen Candace. Landon is obviously looking around for someone, but he tells Jeffrey nothing is going on. He asks what Jeffrey is doing there and Jeffrey says he has a room there. Landon says he thought Jeffrey knew Candace and Jeffrey says she’s trouble. Landon says thanks for telling him now, and tells him about how Oscar swindled Candace and she threatened Landon’s life.

Jeffrey asks Landon if his father and Maggie are having an affair and Landon tells him yes. Jeffrey says good, because Maggie makes his father happy. Landon asks him for a tryst and Jeffrey tells him that he’s drunk and he’s had better. Landon says he can be better and Jeffrey says not as good as him, looking at Justin, who’s obviously freed himself and gotten dressed. Jeffrey pretends not to know Justin. Landon is about to leave, when he looks at his phone.

It’s the news about Maggie getting shot and killed. He gives Jeffrey the phone and asks if he’s reading it right. Jeffrey confirms the news. Landon is incredulous and says there’s no way. He runs out and Jeffrey goes after him.

The hotel manager complains about kids giving their hotel a bad name, while Wyatt lies there dead. The security guy says people are calling it the Dude Die Inn. The guy Jennifer sent to look for Wyatt calls her and tells her to get to the hotel now.

Meanwhile, at the Cryer mansion, Katherine wanders around like a zombie. Wait until she finds out Wyatt is dead. She goes to Wyatt’s room, and then meanders to their daughter’s (Amanda?) room and makes a phone call. Hannah’s phone rings. She ignores the call. Katherine calls again and Hannah picks up.

Katherine asks how Hannah is and where she is. Hannah says fine and she has a place. Katherine tells Hannah she’s sorry and tells her she should have given her the money. She says she was blindsided by Hannah leaving and never considered that she didn’t have anywhere to go. Hannah says she’s fine. Katherine says she can bring her the money and tells her she has a rental place Hannah can stay at. Hannah insists she’s fine. Katherine says she needs Hannah’s help.

Hannah says Katherine’s motives are always suspect. Katherine says she doesn’t have the strength for this, and Hannah says what makes her think she does? Katherine says she can’t lose her only child and asks Hannah to pray for her and her son. She says she’s made her bed and she should lie in it, but her children shouldn’t suffer. She talks about how well Benny turned out and Hannah says she still has Candace who makes up for it. Katherine says at least she got one right. She says she has no idea where Wyatt is and Hannah says all she can do is wait. Katherine says she’s afraid. She’s scared that every time the phone rings, it’s going to be bad news and Hannah says she knows the feeling.

Katherine asks if she gets the call, will Hannah be there? Hannah says who’ll be there for her, and Katherine says she will. Katherine says she has no one else and Hannah says she doesn’t think she’ll get that call, but she’ll be there. She adds until that time, they have nothing to say to each other. Katherine says she understands and she’s sorry. They say good-by. Great scene.

I get up as soon as the commercials start and fork some KFC whole kernel corn in front of the refrigerator and it’s the shortest commercial break ever. By the time I get one forkful to my mouth, it’s over.

Veronica tells David his plan didn’t work and accuses him of ordering the hit. David says Jim set it up and he’d been trying to protect her by keeping her in jail. She says even if it was true about Jim, he must have wanted it to happen. David turns the tables, accusing Veronica of setting Maggie up. He says Jim wouldn’t have been so stupid to hire an amateur. He gets aggressive with Veronica and she tells him to look in the rear view mirror; security is following them. He tells her that her wish is in the glove box. Divorce papers. She tears them up. She says if she finds out he’s gone behind her back, or she’s outed in any way, she’ll make his life a living hell. He says hell is better than what he’s going through now.

David tells Veronica to get out of the car. She refuses. He says he’ll drag her ass out. She says there’s the husband she wants and she’d be glad to see it. He gets out and comes around to her side. She says he didn’t act like that when Maggie was alive and she needed him. She gets in the security car as David drives away.

Jennifer shows up at Wyatt’s hotel room. Her guy confirms that Wyatt is dead.

Next time, Candace’s nosy neighbor tells Hannah to stay away from Candace, Landon doesn’t trust Jeffrey, David apologizes to Jim, and Katherine finds out about Wyatt.