What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly goes into Jack’s hospital room, and he says, another visit. She says she had to come. She heard he stabbed himself for her.

At a table in a diner in Albany, Alexis reads a book while she has a salad and iced tea. Fergus approaches and says, dining alone, but she just looks at him.

Brook asks how Chase is doing, and Chase says he can’t believe his dad is really gone. He keeps looking at the present he got them, thinking, he was just holding this. She says, such a sweet and thoughtful gift. Unexpected, but perfect. Typical of his dad. He says he feels like he should be doing something, but all he wants to do is sit here right now. She says she’s going to make herself useful and start unpacking their suitcases, and he says, this is so surreal. They’re supposed to be on their honeymoon right now. She says she knows, when there’s a knock at the door. He asks if she’s expecting anyone, but she says, no. He says, somebody probably found out about his dad. He’s not sure he can handle any more sympathy right now. She tells him, don’t worry. She’ll get rid of whoever it is. She opens the door and Tracy is there. Brook looks at Chase.

Sam knocks at Spinelli’s door and he says, fair Samantha, come on in. Welcome to his humble workspace. He tries to straighten up and says, you can never have too many external hard drives. She tells him, that’s what she always says, and he tells her that he’s been thinking about what they discussed at the wedding. So much is going on, and of course (🍷) naturally, he was deeply troubled by that revelation that Jason was coerced into working for the FBI. So upon further reflection, he feels he has to reemphasize that tangling with the Federal Bureau of Investigation is highly ill-advised. She asks what he means. Why? Is he saying he doesn’t want to help her anymore?

Anna goes to Jason’s room above Bobbie’s, and he says, it’s late. Did something happen? She says, you tell me. He doesn’t have any bruises, huh? He asks why he would, and she says, last night, he got in the middle of Sonny attacking Dex.

Alexis says, obviously she’s dining alone, by choice. So feel free to move on. Her salad is getting cold. He smiles and sits down. He says, what are the odds of both of them choosing the same diner? and she says she thinks he’s following her. Go away. He reaches for a menu and says he hasn’t even ordered yet. How’s the food? She asks if she’s going to have to report him to his own disciplinary committee for harassment, and he says he’ll leave her to her salad and her novel momentarily, but first, he’s curious. Why now? She asks if that’s a metaphysical question, and he says, she was disbarred years ago, yet she wasn’t even interested enough to show up in person to hear the verdict. Yet here she is, on a pilgrimage to Albany where the fate of her law career hangs in the balance. So he’ll repeat the question. Why appeal now?

Tracy hugs Chase and says she’s so sorry to hear about his father. He was a wonderful man. She will cherish him always. Chase thanks her and says he knows his father really enjoyed her friendship too. Brook says, they appreciate her coming by, but… Tracy holds up her hand and says she brought them something. This is in lieu of a casserole, which she couldn’t make anyway. She brought them this. She hands Brook a cloth bag and Brook removes a bottle of wine and says, Morello. This isn’t easy to find here. Tracy says, the two of them should really be on their honeymoon, strolling arm in arm through a piazza in the moonlight. Since that isn’t possible, she thought she’d bring a taste of Italy to them. Brook thanks her, and Chase says, it’s very generous. Thank you for everything. Brook says she’s going to go open one of these up, and goes to the kitchen. Chase says he’s glad to have a chance to thank Tracy for being such a good friend to his dad at a time when he needed one, and she says, that’s very kind, but she would prefer to skip the platitudes if he doesn’t mind.

Spinelli tells Sam that he hasn’t changed his mind per se. if Jason had asked him directly, he’d gladly do anything he could, but going behind his back is just wrong. Sam says, he doesn’t know how much Jason trusts him. She thinks the only reason Jason hasn’t contacted him is because Jason doesn’t want to drag him into this. He says, it’s very Jasonlike for him to handle everything on his own. Still, it’s impossible for him to believe Jason has been acting as an FBI informant. She says she knows, which means they must have something on him, something huge, and Spinelli wonders what kind of circumstances could force Jason to be an FBI informant. She says she doesn’t know, but that’s what they need to figure out.

Anna tells Jason that Dex came to her office earlier. Interesting conversation. He said that Sonny attacked him, Jason intervened, and Kristina witnessed it. Obviously, she was traumatized by it. Why wouldn’t she be? It’s a hell of a thing to see your father do. He asks if Dex is pressing charges, and she says, no. He decided he didn’t want to do that to Kristina. Jason thanks her, but she says, don’t thank her. It was Dex. He made the call. Jason asks if she agrees with him, and she says, yeah, she does. If they could get a conviction, Sonny would serve two years max. Better to wait to bring Sonny to justice. They need a charge that carries a longer sentence. Jason asks, so why is she here? and she says she heard Dex’s version of events. Now she needs to hear his.

Jack says he would have sent Carly flowers, but his options were somewhat limited in prison. She says, and a self-inflicted wound was the next best thing, huh? and he says he knew she’d get him. She says, let her see the scar, and he laughs. He says, unfortunately, his wound is bandaged so the scar will have to remain a mystery for now, but if it makes her feel any better, it’s pretty epic. She says she looks forward to seeing it at another time. So is he going to tell her what really happened? He says, some thug jumped him in the shower, waited until he was vulnerable, and then he made his move. She says she’s not buying it, and he asks, why not? She asks if he isn’t a spy, and he says, that’s not the job title on his business cards, but he supposes that’s an accurate description of his skills. She says, exactly, and with his experience, he would never let himself be that vulnerable, and she bets he could outpower most of the prisoners at Pentenville. He says, maybe he did just want to see her, and she says she does understand that. She is good company. He laughs, and she says, but she doesn’t believe he’d leave a liter of his blood on the shower floor for a chance meeting with her. So what’s really going on?

Chase tells Tracy, it’s not a platitude; it’s the truth. She says she’s sorry. That came out all wrong. You’d think with all the people she’s lost in her life, she’d be able to do this better, but it just never gets easier. She’s sorry for offending him. He says, it’s fine. He didn’t mean to snap at her. It turns out he’s not very good at this grief stuff. She says, if it had been up to her, she and his father never would have been friends. She doesn’t know if he’s noticed, but she has acquaintances, but very few friends. That’s because she finds most people annoying, but not his father. Caring about him as much as she did sort of… It snuck up on her. Chase says, he does… He did that to people. She says, he was warm and engaging and never self-pitying, even when his illness gave him every right to be angry and feel sorry for himself. It was one of the most impressive things about him. He faced the end of his life with great dignity and courage. Chase should be very proud of him. Chase says he is. He is so proud. That’s why it’s killing him that he… She says, that he what? but he says, it doesn’t matter. She says, if it’s one thing she’s learned from her husband Luke’s death, it’s that regrets only bring you more pain, and she doesn’t think his father would want that for him. So if in fact there is something that’s bothering him, he needs to let it go. He says he can’t, and she says, why not? Holding back tears, he says, because it’s all his fault. His dad pushed himself so hard because he asked him to officiate his wedding. He wanted his dad so bad up there at that altar, he didn’t even think about what it would do to his body. That wedding was too much for his dad, and that is why… She says, do not do this to himself.

Alexis says, clearly, Fergus thinks there’s some big secret here, but there’s really nothing nefarious about this. It just took her a long time to realize what a huge miscarriage of justice her disbarment was. Fergus says he doesn’t buy that for a second, and she says, it’s a good thing his opinion doesn’t matter then. He says he thinks she’s been playing the long game, biding her time until she thinks everybody forgot about what she did, so she could sneak back in the side door and plead procedural violations to get her law license reinstated with minimal pushback. She says she can’t believe how well he knows her. He’s right. This was all part of her master plan, because now she has the legal system just where she wants it. He tells her to stop painting herself as some sort of helpless victim. She clearly isn’t helpless. She has an excellent command of the law. And she’s nobody’s victim. She essentially did this to herself. She says, with a lot of help from him. And on that note, she has a question for him. What’s the real reason he made it his mission to keep her from practicing law? He says, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, and she says, is it? She says, because he went out of his way to track Ava down and get Ava to sign that affidavit against her.

Jack says, it’s very complicated, but Carly wouldn’t understand. Carly says, maybe if he talks real slow and she can try to sound out the big words, she might be able to keep up. He says he’s offended her, and that wasn’t his intention, but she says she’s not offended. She doesn’t like being lied to. He says his reticence has nothing to do with her intelligence. He thinks she’s extremely smart, but as she said, he’s a spy and these are spy games. All that entails is everyone plays fast and loose with the truth, and everyone has a double or triple motive. It is, to quote a master of their craft, the wilderness of mirrors. Nothing is as it appears to be. She says, so he’s not really guilty? Is that where he’s going with all of this? He says he’s in prison because he’s accused of being the head of Pikeman, but he hasn’t been tried yet for his alleged crimes because they’re afraid of what would come out in the courtroom. So there he sits. She says, everyone is entitled to due process, but he’s not exactly innocent, and he says, not by a long shot. But neither are any of the people he’s playing against. And that includes Anna Devane.

Jason tells Anna that he didn’t see the fight start. When he got there, Sonny was kicking Dex and he just pulled Sonny off. Anna asks, how did he even know the fight was happening? and he says he could see that Sonny wasn’t happy Dex was at the reception and he just had a bad feeling. She says, rightly so, and he says, then when Sonny followed Dex out, he went after them just in case. She says, and he found Sonny attacking Dex. Anything else? He walks away, and she says, Dex has already decided that he’s not going to press charges. This isn’t an interrogation. It’s informational for her. She’s trying to understand what the hell is going on with Sonny. He asks if it’s off the record, and she says, yeah. He says, maybe Sonny lost it. He threatened to kill him and Dex. She asks what exactly he said, and Jason says he’s sure Dex told her. She says she needs to hear it from him, and he tells her that Sonny said something about emptying a gun in both of their heads. She says she doesn’t understand how Sonny would allow something like this to happen in a public place where anyone could witness it. She was 200 feet away. Not to mention the bride and groom and the bride’s extended family, who for all intents and purposes seem to think that Sonny walks on water. They certainly wouldn’t if they saw that though. He says, no, they wouldn’t, and she asks if he thinks Sonny would try to have him and Dex killed.

Tracy says, officiating Chase’s wedding was the honor of his father’s life. He saw Gregory at the reception. He was fully present and over the moon watching Chase and Brook. Chase says, she saw what happened to him during the vows. What if that was too much for him? She says, what if it was exactly the opposite? His father was struggling recently, but he was determined to see Chase and Brook married. Officiating Chase’s wedding was the thing that was keeping him going. It’s what kept him alive. Chase says he never thought about it like that, and she says, sometimes we get too close to a situation to really see it clearly. Chase trusted him to officiate. He didn’t infantilize him. He made sure Gregory had his dignity to the end of his life. Do not punish himself for his father’s death. It was sad and unfair, but sometimes, that’s just the way life is, and it’s nobody’s fault, least of all Chase’s. She’s going to say something else. She never heard his father brag, except when he talked about Chase and Finn. He was so proud of them. He loved to talk about them. He never stopped talking about them. In fact, it was his only truly annoying quality. Chase laughs and says he thinks it’s the first time he’s laughed since he got the news. She says she’s glad she could amuse him, and Brook comes back with two glasses of wine. She says, care to let her in on the joke? but Tracy says, she had to be there. Brook hands her a glass and says, there you go, but Tracy says, actually, she can’t stay. But they should enjoy this, and don’t bother to show her out. This place is the size of a postage stamp. She leaves, and Brook says, don’t listen to her grandmother. It’s just who she is. She calls them as she sees them.

Sam says she wouldn’t be involving Spinelli if she thought she could do this alone, but there’s no way she could hack into the FBI’s system by herself. Spinelli says, finding evidence like that is next to impossible. And Jason is far too important of an asset. Whatever they have against him, the FBI will be protecting with their strictest of security protocols. She says she knows she’s asking a lot, maybe too much, but she would never be asking for his help if it were just for her or for Jason. But please, do it for Danny. He’s just a kid and he’s been through so much already. He adores his father, and he just came back. And she doesn’t know what Danny would do if he lost Jason again.

Jason says, there was a time he would have told Anna that Sonny would never think about targeting him, and she says, because they were so close. He says, because it would be the wrong call. Something happens to him, something definitely happens to Dex, Sonny’s the first suspect. He’s got to know the PCPD and the FBI will do whatever it takes to put him away for life. She says, of course (🍷), and he says, the Sonny he knew was smart. He was cool headed. There were lines he would not cross. He’s hoping that’s still the case. She says, but he can’t be certain anymore.

Jack tells Carly that he and Anna go way back. They came up in the WSB together. They worked side by side in too many ops to count. Which may be why Anna suspects him of all kinds of nefarious things, a few of which he’s actually done. No one is innocent in their world. This is how it works with espionage. It’s hard enough to navigate that twisted universe when you’ve been trained for it, and Carly clearly hasn’t been. She asks what that’s supposed to mean, and he says, if she was a spy, she never would have made the mistake of visiting him at Pentenville. She says, here she thought he enjoyed that visit, and he says he did, which is why it pains him to say this, because he worries this will be the last time she comes to see him. But she has no idea what she gave him that time. She says, okay, and sits next to the bed. He’s a spy, former head of the WSB. She assumes even in prison he has a way of keeping himself in the loop. What could she have possibly told him that he didn’t already know? He says, allow him to give her a first lesson in espionage. A good spy… never… tells…

Brook tells Chase, leave it to her grandmother. She really knows her stuff about wine. This is exactly what she needed tonight. He says, him too, and takes a sip. He puts the glass down, and she asks if there was something wrong with that sip, but he says, no. He’s actually really enjoying it. It’s just crazy how fast everything can change. One minute, they’re about to go enjoy their honeymoon, and the next, he’s getting the worst news of his life. It’s like he has whiplash. Does that make sense? She says, it does. He’s grieving an incredible loss. He says he knows how much pain he’s in and it must be even worse for Finn. Dad is the last parent Finn had left, so how can he blame Finn for drinking when he’s doing it too? She says, their situations are very different though. Chase doesn’t have a problem with alcohol; Finn’s in recovery. Alcohol is dangerous for Finn in a way it just isn’t for Chase. Chase says, she’s right. He talked to Finn when she took Violet on a walk. He said he’s aware that the broke his sobriety and what that means. Finn told him to pour out the rest of the bourbon and promised he would never have another drink. He’s not saying it’s not a big deal Finn had a drink, because he’s been sober for so long, but Finn is the one who found dad. Every time he thinks about what that must have been like, he… He doesn’t want to add to how much Finn is already beating himself up. If he’s as supportive as possible, he knows he can get Finn through this without another drink. She says, okay. That’s what he’s going to do, and she’ll be right by his side supporting him through it. He thanks her.

Spinelli tells Sam, hacking the FBI is a federal crime which could land them both in prison for life. Is she willing to compromise her freedom over this? She says she would never risk being separated from her family if she didn’t believe it was absolutely necessary for both Danny and Jason. There’s a knock at the door, and Maxie says, knock, knock. She walks in and apologizes for being late. James was refusing to eat his broccoli… She sees Sam and says, hi. Sam says, hi, and Maxie says, it was so great seeing them at Brook’s wedding. Dante was really getting his groove on. After everything he’s been through, it’s nice to see him doing so well. Sam says she knows. He’s basically back to his old self again. The doctors are amazed at how quick his recovery has been. Maxie says she really loves that, and Sam says, her too. She’s got to get going, but why don’t the four of them have dinner sometime, on her? Maxie says, that sounds great. Right, Spinelli? Spinelli says, her offer is most delightful, and Sam says she’ll call Maxie and they’ll schedule something. She asks Spinelli to think about what she said. She’ll be in touch. She tells them, goodbye, and leaves. Maxie says, that was cryptic. She’s guessing she interrupted something? What is it that Sam wants him to think about?

Fergus says, Ava contacted the panel and offered to sign an affidavit that Alexis perjured herself. Alexis asks if he ever thought of checking into Ava’s past when he decided to take her on as an unimpeachable witness. The woman is quite literally a murderer. Fergus says, it doesn’t make her allegations any less true, and Alexis says, how about the fact Ava had a personal vendetta against her? He says, Ava did mention the fact that Alexis essentially destroyed her brother’s life, strikingly similar to the way Alexis destroyed both of his brothers’ lives. She says, does he know what she finds interesting? Neil never once mentioned Fergus to her. That’s weird. They were very close. That’s not normal that Neil didn’t tell her that he had a brother. So why does he think that is? He says he and his brothers had issues. Emotions were running high after their father’s death, and they argued over his estate. Angry words were exchanged, feelings were hurt. He didn’t speak to either of them for a decade. She says, so much for brotherly love, and he says he deeply regrets they weren’t able to solve their differences before they passed. But how was he to know that within the span of a few years, they’d both be gone? And all because of her. At least he was able to console himself with the knowledge that she’ll never be allowed to practice law again, and he intends to do everything in his power to make sure she never is. (I’m starting to think, one, he’s not too bright, and two, he has the EQ of a 14-year-old.)

Alexis says, going after her isn’t going to make up for Fergus abandoning his brothers, alienating them, or the decades of time he wasted that he’s not going to get back. He says he was actually hoping that she’d be able to take some responsibility for her actions, but clearly, that’s not the case. He gets up and says, yet another reason she’s probably not fit to practice law. He’s just upholding the ethics and standards of his profession. Despite what she thinks, it’s not personal. She says, if he was under oath right now, he would have just committed perjury, and he says, actually, she’s the perjurer (no, you), and he’s the one with the law license. He tells her to enjoy her salad and leaves. (Seriously, she should call the Court of Appeals and tell them that he’s harassing her.)

Chase tells Brook that when he first heard about his dad’s ALS diagnosis, he did a lot of research. He knows that it’s always fatal. Intellectually, he knew eventually it would take his dad’s life, but his dad’s so strong. His dad was Superman to him. Now that he’s gone, he realizes there was a tiny part of him that actually thought he’d beat it. Beat a fatal disease, how insane is that? Brook says, it’s not. It makes sense. He says he just wasn’t prepared for how much this would hurt. He’s called him, or tried to call him, at least four times today. (Been there. Still almost do it sometimes.) He just can’t believe he’s never going to talk to his dad again. She says she just wishes there was something she could do to make this a tiny bit easier for him, and he takes her hand and says, just her being here makes all the difference. He thinks his dad knew that. She asks what he means, and he says, her grandmother made him realize what it meant to his dad to see them getting ready to spend their lives together. And he thinks his dad felt it was okay to go after the wedding. His dad knew he wouldn’t be alone. His dad knew he’d have her. She says, always, and kisses him.

Spinelli says, Sam thinks this is the only way Jason can regain control over his life, and Maxie says, by him hacking into the FBI. He says he knows how it sounds. In light of their renewed closeness and their daughter, he thought she should know what’s going on. She says, but he hasn’t told Sam yet whether he’ll do it or not, and he tells her, at the wedding, he said he was going to do it, but just now he was telling her that he had second thoughts. She had some very persuasive and heart-tugging arguments, so Maxie’s entrance was incredibly well-timed. Now it gives him some breathing room to think it over. Maxie says, okay. First, she thinks it’s insane what the FBI is doing to Jason, and of course (🍷) she wants Spinelli to help him get out from underneath their thumb. And she really does get where Sam is coming from as far as Danny is concerned. She’s just trying to protect her son. But isn’t hacking the FBI a felony? He says, a federal crime of the most punishable nature. They could lock him up and throw away the key if he gets caught. She says, yeah, that’s what she thought. So him doing this could put him at risk, and in turn, his family. He says, that’s why if she doesn’t want him to do it, he’ll just turn Sam down.

Jason tells Anna that he had a hold on Sonny and he told Dex to go. Sonny was just yelling threats and then they heard some plates drop and they turned, and they saw Kristina. Kristina was in shock. She was staring at Sonny, and then she took off. He told Dex to go again because he still had Sonny. He was still not rational, but he was no longer completely out of control. He let Sonny go and Sonny went after Kristina, and he called Carly. Anna says, to talk Sonny down, and he says, she’d be the only one to get through to him. Anna says, Carly to the rescue again, and he asks what that means. Who else did Carly rescue?

Carly says she doesn’t care what information she gave Jack in Pentenville. She doesn’t care about the crimes Anna suspects him of. She doesn’t care that he stabbed himself – Jack and I laugh – because she knows he’s going to be fine. The only thing she cares about is that her friend, her best friend Jason, stays safe. Jack says he never met the man, but he must be a great guy if he can inspire her to be this loyal to him. She says, he deserves peace now that he’s home, and Jacks says, ah, yes, peace. He remembers what that’s like. It’s been a while though. She says she’s just asking, whatever is going on, keep Jason out of it. He says, given the respect he has for her intelligence, he won’t go through the motions of assuring her that he’ll never harm her friend when he’d probably kill him if he had to. But cheer up. What are the odds that he’ll even run into her Mr. Morgan? After this little vacation, he’ll be whisked back to Pentenville and locked away in a cell again. She says she’s glad to hear it. She should go. Get some rest. Maybe she’ll come back and see him before he heads back to prison. He says, she shouldn’t. She should stay far away from him.

Maxie says, would Spinelli do this? and he says, despite a plethora of misgivings? He would. She says, okay. She thinks he should help them. He’s the only person with the skillset who could actually pull this off. She has one requirement. He says, anything, Maximista, and she says, don’t get caught. He says he wasn’t planning on it, and she says she means it. He can’t get caught. He has to promise her that he’s going to be careful, and if it seems like the FBI is even a little bit onto him, he abandons ship. Because no one, especially Jason, wants him to sacrifice himself for them. He says he’ll be cautious and untraceable. She says, he better be, because she and the kids really need him. He says, they do? and she says, they asked about him around four times today. James even said Spinelli wouldn’t have made him eat his broccoli. Spinelli says, that little scamp, and they say together, he’s right. She says, everybody really misses him living with them. Does he think maybe he can come over tomorrow night? He says, just try and stop him.

Anna tells Jason, Brennan was stabbed at Pentenville. He’s currently undergoing treatment at GH, and the stab wound was serious enough, he lost a lot of blood. He’s going to be fine. Jason says, the timing seems a little suspicious, doesn’t she think? and she says, the placement of the wound makes her believe that the injury was self-inflicted. Get out of jail free card. Because he knows that at GH he’s going to have a much easier time communicating with whoever it is who’s running Pikeman for him. Jason asks what any of this has to do with Carly, and Anna says, initially, Brennan insisted he had been stabbed in the shower by another prisoner when his guard was down, but she knows this man. His guard is never down. And he could tell she wasn’t buying his explanation, so he changed his story and said that actually, he had stabbed himself in order to see Carly again. Jason asks if that’s possible, and she says, it’s not impossible. He does seem to be genuinely taken with her. But they both know Brennan is up to something and he might be using Carly as a cover.

Jack asks if people never told Carly that he’s a bad, bad man that she should avoid at all costs, and she says she doesn’t listen to people. She makes up her own mind. He says, beautiful… and smart, and she walks out.

Brook says she’s never meant anything more than the vows she said to Chase, and he says, him either. He’s so glad his dad was there to hear them. She says, her too, and the phone rings. It sounds like a regular old kind of landline, and she asks if he changed his ringtone, but he says, no. He thinks it’s his dad’s phone. He took it from Finn’s place. He finds the phone and says, it’s Alexis. Brook says, she must not know yet, and Chase says, his dad mentioned she was going out of town. She says, he should answer it before it goes to voicemail, and he tells Alexis, this is Chase. She says, hi. Can she talk to Gregory please? He says he’s sorry to do this over the phone, but there’s something he has to tell her. She listens, then draws in a sharp breath. Obviously distressed, she says she’s so sorry. Will he tell her if there’s anything she can do and give her any details about the service?… Take care… take care of yourself. She sits at the table, not knowing what to do. She flips Gregory’s medal in her hands, then clutches it to her chest.

Tomorrow, Brook tells Chase, there’s no stopping it; Elizabeth says she honestly didn’t think Finn was capable of it; and Drew tells Willow not to tell a problem to the rest of the Quartermaines.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part 3

When we last left James and Sandoval were telling each other, eat a d*ck. Andy says, Brock seemed surprised at how triggered Ariana was at the water tasting, and we flash back to that. Scheana says it was hard to see how much pain Ariana was in, and Andy asks if Ariana thinks she can be in a room with Sandoval and be civil, but Ariana says, not at this point. Andy says, James thinks she should release her anger, and Lala says, harboring resentment against your ex is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. What does she say to the people who think she should move on? She says, now it’s March 2024 and the season was last summer. The only way past it is through it, and if it’s a year from now, yeah. She knows the comments come from a place of concern and care, but the only way for her to process was to let herself feel it. Last summer was difficult and she felt like she was being pushed to be further along than she was ready to be. Andy says, in happier news, let’s talk about Jax, and asks who’s still hanging out with him. Lala and Ariana both says they hang out with Brittany, and the Toms says they’re still in contact with Jax. Andy says, Schwartz brokered peace between Jax and Sandoval, and asks where their relationship is. Sandoval says, nothing below the waist, which is actually funny, but Ariana looks disgusted. We see a clip from when Jax confronted Sandoval in the restaurant, and Sandoval says he was annoyed. Every time he sees Jax, he gives him positive comments, now Jax has all these theories about him. He hasn’t seen Jax in three years, yet Jax has the inside scoop. Ariana tells Katie that it’s like Schwartz telling her who she is. Andy asks Katie about the rumors Jax was cheating, and she says she would see random stuff online. Scheana says, they discussed it within the group, but Brittany knows Jax’s passwords and goes through his phone. Katie says, she’s not going to find what he’s doing in a text, and Brock says, dipping in and dipping out. Lala says, Katie broke the news to her with what she found online. She’s closer to Brittany than Katie is, and from her experience, if you’re not f***ing him, someone else is. Andy says he assumes the separation had something to do with the cheating, but Schwartz says he doesn’t think so. Lala says, Brittany acted so out of pocket the day of her gender reveal, and we see a clip of them cutting a cake which turns out to be pink. Lala says, Brittany calls babysitters nannies when they’re two different things. She reached out to Lala’s mom and claimed they stole her nanny. (Apparently, the babysitter was in the clip.) Don’t text her mom the day she finds out she’s having a girl and yell that they hired her nanny without permission when she’s in Kentucky with Cruz. Brittany told Lala that Jax was yelling at her, and Lala told her to have Jax call and she’ll rip him a new one. Andy says, they share babysitters all the time, and Lala says she didn’t need her mom being questioned by Kentucky muffin.

Andy says, Sandoval and Scheana have been through a lot, and asks if he unblocked her and Summer Moon. Sandoval says he didn’t block Summer Moon. He blocked Scheana and any accounts associated with her. He didn’t know it would block her whole family.😐Brock says he’s still blocked, and Andy says, Brock claimed that Sandoval had been a better friend to Scheana than Ariana. Brock says he thinks Scheana fought with all of the women from the beginning, and we flash back to them all treating Scheana like sh*t. Brock says, Sandoval was the one person who consistently had her back. She was struggling with 15 and 10 year friendships, and got torn apart online by people not in this room. Ariana says, they all get torn apart online. Lesson learned; stay out of the comments section. Scheana says she felt distance from Ariana even before the season started. Ariana admits to isolating, and Scheana says she knows it’s not just her. Andy says, Ariana told him that she’d seen the things Scheana said on Watch What Happens Live, and we see a clip of Ariana saying she loves Scheana, but true but some of the things she said were hurtful. Ariana says, Scheana claimed Sandoval would be sadder about losing her as a friend, but Scheana says, Ariana is watching clips on TikTok, when there were longer conversations she didn’t see. Andy asks if Scheana dealt with feelings of jealousy about Ariana’s level of opportunities, but Scheana says she doesn’t think it’s jealousy; it’s feeling left out. She needs a feeling if validation, not just from men, but from her friends. She didn’t want Ariana to forget about her. Aww. That’s kind of sad. Andy asks how their relationship is now, and Scheana says she thinks it’s good. Ariana says, Scheana will never not be family. Andy says, Sandoval apologized to Katie about talking smack about her, and asks how much Katie thinks it contributed to the divorce. Sandoval insists it didn’t, but Katie says, when someone speaks negatively about you to your spouse over years and years, how could it not? We flash back to that and it’s disgusting. It’s one of the reasons I never liked Sandoval in the first place. He had no business talking to Schwartz about Katie or his marriage. She says she thinks it contributed to Schwartz’s opinion of her, and Schwartz claims it didn’t, but I don’t believe him. Katie says, Sandoval doesn’t like her, but Sandoval says he feels the relationship went south when he and Scwartz went into business together. He knew it was a bad idea for her to get involved with Schwartz & Sandy’s. She says, it went south because he didn’t like her. A-greed. Sandoval says, the way she handles situations annoys him, the way she’s annoyed by how he handles situations. Then after Scandoval, she reduced him to subhuman. Katie says she treats people like how she sees it. Choke. I don’t care. Alrighty then. Andy says, their chemistry is undeniable, and Sandoval says, they’re going to bang it out. Katie looks disgusted, but again, it might be funny if it wasn’t him saying it.

Andy says, when Scheana was asked to perform at Kyle’s whiskey launch, the group went north to San Francisco to support her, even Dan. There’s a whole big exchange about why did Dan come if he wasn’t going to mingle, but it boils down to not getting paid. Andy says, Brock didn’t get paid early on, but Brock says, they have different situations. Ariana says, Dan basically doesn’t want to get involved, and Lala says, they already have an awkward group dynamic. Andy says, Ariana avoided Sandoval, but in San Francisco, Scheana encouraged him to apologize. Scheana says, early on, Ariana had said she was the only one he hadn’t apologized to. We flash back to the numerous times she said exactly that, and Scheana says she thought Ariana needed that to heal, so she tried to facilitate that. She realizes now that Ariana didn’t need it. Ariana says, great points, but yeah. Andy says, it ended the season in a powerful and fascinating way. Twirling his villainous moustache, he says, production intentionally didn’t send them the end of the finale episode. He wanted them to watch it together as a group, so the viewers can see their real time reactions.

We go back to the ending of the finale, and Ariana deciding to jet, then the others getting upset. We watch the reactions of everyone on stage, and I already know the supposed hot mic moment isn’t going to go over too big. I also have no doubt production kept it in on purpose, while Andy stirred the pot. At the very end, Schwartz says, that was a f***ing plot twist, and Sandoval says, I love it. It’s good for me. Back to real time, Ariana says, exactly. This is her being her honest self. She felt hurt so deeply, she’s not here for Sandoval putting on the waterworks thing. Sandoval says she knows him well enough to know it’s real, but she says she doesn’t know him. She cries and says, when he didn’t get what he wanted, he said things about her to triangulate her. He says, what about what she said about him this summer? and she says, what else would she say? She didn’t do anything to him, and he proved her right. She just wants him away from her. She just wants him gone.

Ariana says she doesn’t want to be in a position where she’s forced to talk to Sandoval, and Sandoval insists he did try to talk to her off camera. She says, when she got home from San Francisco, he was sitting on the couch eating takeout, but that was new. They didn’t ever cross paths. What he needed to say, he could have said then. Sandoval says, it’s the one conversation a person doesn’t want to have, and she says she’d have it with everyone else, but she’s not in a place to have that conversation with him. When he said, it was good for him, that was it right there. She was being used for him to have his crying in Miami moment with her. We flash back to him crying after getting caught cheating with Miami Girl. Sandoval says, their relationship was different, and he’s an emotional person. Katie says, he was living a double life, and Ariana says she doesn’t know who he is. She’s sorry he’s having a hard time, but these are the consequences of his actions. Sandoval says he’s sorry. Regardless of what happened in their relationship, she didn’t deserve what he did. He’s sorry. He regrets everything and wears it like a badge of shame. He dishonored her. Ariana says, that bitch (i.e. Raquel) is talking about her all the time. He did that. She just wants to be away from him. He says he understands. He wishes her the best and he’ll give her space. For everything else, they have lawyers. Andy says, the other thing he was curious about was Ariana’s reaction to what Lala said. Ariana says, it hurts her feelings. She was trying so hard this season. It’s their job to live their lives on camera, and she was living authentically by walking away. Schwartz says, at the time, he agreed with how Lala felt, but now he feels Ariana’s walking away was well-earned. Ariana says, it wouldn’t have been real on her part to stay, and Scheana says she knew she needed to let Ariana go, but she understood Lala’s frustration. She was frustrated and thought Lala needed support. Lala says, when Randall did what he did, she was questioned and told she should have known. We flash back to the Season 9 Reunion, and Lala says she’s grateful Ariana’s not experiencing what she did, but she’s annoyed. It’s wild. Everybody said things about the way Ariana had changed off camera. When they started doing the show, she felt isolated and felt like she was having conversations with herself. The show offered her a platform and made it possible for her to take care of her baby, conceive another, and have two homes. She’s happy Ariana was catapulted into opportunity, but if Ariana doesn’t give a f*** about her own position on the show, give a f*** about hers. She was livid that night, and she’s sorry if Ariana was hurt, but she stands by what she said. She spent days sobbing on a regular basis. Lisa asks if she felt the story she was getting wasn’t what they were filming, and Lala wonders why Ariana gets to dictate how it goes down. Andy asks what Ariana’s response is, and Ariana says she doesn’t think she’s Beyoncé or God. She didn’t sob in front of Scheana, but she did it on her own. Besides, walking away from the conversation made it more interesting than her having it. So wasn’t it a better end to Lala’s season, and a lead in to another one? Lala says, had she not spoken her mind, the season would have ended with Ariana walking out. Andy says, Lala claimed Sandoval and Ariana’s relationship wasn’t being shown honestly until after the affair, and Lala says she heard a lot of things. Katie reminds Lala that she said something, and we flash back to Katie saying they present themselves as having the perfect relationship when it’s not, and Lala wondering why it’s all butterflies and rainbows, yet they talk about other people’s relationships. Katie tells Lala that she said it on the show, so stop acting like she’s lying. Andy asks what Scheana thinks, and Scheana says she saw moments that were good and bad. Every relationship has its rollercoasters. Andy asks if Sandoval supported Scheana more than Ariana, and Scheana says, they’ve both shown up for her. Lala says she can’t do this, and starts to walk off the stage.  

Lala says she doesn’t want do this if she’s the only one being honest, and Scheana insists Ariana and Sandoval have both shown up for her, but she can think of several events where Sandoval had her back and rode harder for her. Andy asks if she agreed with Lala at the end, and Lala says she was so frustrated by the end of the season. Scheana says she was frustrated as well, and Lala says, everyone was living in the comments section for a while, but they had expressed there wasn’t much given before all this happened. Andy asks if they were afraid of audience reaction, and Sandoval says, if they’d all abided by Ariana’s rules, nobody would be filming with him. Lisa says, she made the choice to leave Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You go to a Reunion with the intention to reunite. She didn’t want to see any of those women again, so she didn’t go. If you want to fight for it, do it, but not fighting is okay too. Lala has a point, but Ariana showed up. If Lisa had been in that situation, she wouldn’t have shown up and filmed with her husband and his mistress. Sometimes it’s okay to walk away. Andy asks if  anyone else has a reaction to how things ended, and Scheana asks if, after watching it, Ariana understands why she was frustrated. Ariana says she understands the frustration, but doesn’t understand the insults. Andy calls for a break, and Lisa asks if anyone knows how to make it better. Most of the cast leaves the stage, and Ariana starts to cry. Katie hugs her, and then in yet another plot twist, Katie’s earring gets stuck in Ariana’s hair, causing much laughter. Andy says he’s going to have to shave her head, but production gets them loose.

Andy says they’ve come to the final thoughts on this dramatic season. The earring was what they needed. Ariana says, it’s a sign, and Andy asks where they go from here. Ariana says, it differs with everybody, and Andy asks Sandoval how he sees his place in the group. Sandoval says, it’s been a lot this year. He was overwhelmed, but appreciates that he was given at least somewhat of a chance. Andy asks if Lala thinks her honesty put her friendships with Katia and Ariana in the ER, and Lala says, yeah, but she’s okay with that. He asks how Scheana feels, and Scheana says, she feels it’s been the most challenging summer, and it was difficult to navigate. She wants to acknowledge Lala as her rock. Ariana was her person, but there’s been so much distance, even before filming. She’s sorry she doesn’t speak up enough or she’s not loud enough, but it’s been challenging. She is afraid of what everyone will say, but she couldn’t finish and not say that. Andy says, Katie seems lighter. She and Schwartz are friendly, sharing memes, and kissing the same girls. Katie says she can’t wait to meet Schwartz’s new girlfriend, and Brock says, she’s got game. Andy says, James now has a residence in Las Vegas, and we see his DJ flag flying at LIV in the Fontainebleau. Schwartz says he loves them. They’re his friends and family, even though they’re not in the best place. He loves and misses Ariana. James says he feels the same. Andy announces, rather than delicious cocktails, tonight they’re going to toast with toast. Kyle and long-suffering Ann bring out sandwiches from Something About Her. Sandoval kids Ann that she can clean up afterward. Andy says, may these continue to be the best days of your lives, and everyone says, cheers.

Andy declares the sandwiches damn good, and everyone starts dispersing. Brock asks, what’s on Scheana’s mind? and she says she thinks Lala is still mad. She feels like she didn’t do enough. Scheana finds Lala, and Lala tells her that it was tough watching Lisa defend so hard. On Season 8’s Reunion, she didn’t want to be grilled, and instead she got, you lose them the way you get them. Ariana got to walk away. She’s creating life and she doesn’t get that. It’s not an even playing field. She cries and says she’s annoyed. She asks if Scheana thinks she wanted to show up that day, and Scheana says she doesn’t think it’s fair. Andy says his goodbyes, and Scheana says she just wants to live a f***ing happy life. Sandoval tells Lala, respect, and as Lala gets into her car, she says she just wants to go bake a baby and have a good life.

🍼 Valley Of TMI…

This was the only recap available, but they’re right on. I didn’t need to hear that.

🚀 Shooting For Pluto…

Join me tomorrow for soap and finding out which Chef lands on Top. Until then, stay safe, stay leaving the outdoors how you found it, and stay out of the comments section.