What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Puerto Rico. Nina and Sonny have dinner with Kristina, and she says she has never seen a little girl so wholeheartedly embrace her duties to keep the groom away from the bride on the wedding day. Sonny says, Donna was so determined; did they see her face? Nina says, she was perfect; the whole day was perfect. She’s just sorry Michael, Willow, and Wiley had to leave so soon after the ceremony. Although she gets it. Michael had business back in Port Charles. Kristina says, that’s Michael. Always working on something, right?

Willow carries Amelia into the gatehouse and says, mommy and daddy missed her. Wiley says, Amelia missed the wedding since she’s still a baby, but it was fun. Now Grandma Nina is a grandma twice. Willow asks what he means, and he says, she was his grandma before the wedding; now she’s his grandma again because she married grandpa. Willow looks over at Michael, who’s busy on his phone.

Sam comes into Kelly’s and Carly hugs her, saying, this is such a nice surprise. Is she meeting Dante here for dinner? Sam says, he’s at work, and asks how Drew is doing. Carly says, he’s out of ICU. He’s doing good. Sam says, he doesn’t want Scout to visit him at the hospital, but she misses him. Carly says, he really wants to see her too, but not like this. It’s bad. She asks Sam to take a seat, but Sam says she’s actually not here for food; she’s here for Carly. She hasn’t seen Carly much in the past couple of weeks and wanted to see how she’s doing. She knows what’s going on. Carly asks what she means, and Sam says, Dante told her that Sonny and Nina eloped in Puerto Rico. Carly says, oh that, and Sam says, this can’t be easy on her. How is she doing? Is she okay? Carly says, no, she’s not. Somebody really needs to tell these people what the word elope means.

Lucy sits with Maxie and Blaze at the MetroCourt, and tells Blaze, this will give her whole new level of exposure with the relaunch of The Deceptor and a new line of their anti-aging gels. Maxie says, of course (🍷) not for Blaze; her skin is flawless. Lucy says, it’s absolutely perfect, just gorgeous, but they also have this new lipliner that is so lush that has vitamin C in it. Blaze could actually name the colors. And they have this wonderful new mascara in development, waterproof. You can actually swim in it. Maxie says, it’s a very exciting time at Deception, and Blaze says, and all products are cruelty-free? Lucy says, of course (🍷), cruelty-free, of course (🍷). She loves animals. She had a duck. Blaze says, really? and Lucy says, Sigmond. Maxie asks what she thinks, and Blaze tells them, she’d have to say she’s flattered, even if a bit surprised. Lucy says, so is that a yes? Of course (🍷) she doesn’t want to toot her own horn… Maxie says, watch out. Here comes some tooting. Lucy tells Blaze, all she’s saying is, her instincts are never ever wrong, and her instincts are yelling at the top of their lungs to say, Blaze is a perfect fit to be the New Face of Deception.

On the phone as she packs, Sasha says she understands. She’ll be ready. She lingers over a photo of her and Brando that she’s putting in bubble wrap, when there’s a knock at the door. She opens the door to Cody, who asks, what’s with all the boxes? Is she planning on leaving Port Charles? She says, yes, and he says he doesn’t understand. She just got her life back and she’s going to walk away from it?

Blaze says, the last Face of Deception generated a lot of negative publicity. She’s concerned about attaching herself to that legacy. Maxie says, Sasha does have a troubled past, but there were some extenuating circumstances, and Blaze says, of course (🍷) she’s sorry for what Sasha went through. Lucy says, of course (🍷). So are they, but just because they’re looking for the new Face of Deception, it doesn’t reflect on Sasha at all. Come to think of it, any classic cosmetics company, a lot of them change spokesmodels often. Maxie says, true, and Lucy says, look at Fusion. They change theirs more than RuPaul changes wigs. Maxie says, it’s time for Deception to go in a new direction, and Lucy says, they really do think Blaze is the perfect fit because she’s already a known brand through her music. Maxie says, she’d be working with a successful company in the cosmetics industry, and they’d get access to her celebrity and the millions of fans who love her music. Lucy asks, so what does she say? and Blaze says she thanks them both, and they’ve given her a lot to think about. Lucy says she doesn’t mean to be pushy, but they need to know by the end of the week, and Blaze says, not a problem. She’ll have her manager contact them by the end of the week. Now if they’ll excuse her, she’s got a plane to catch. She leaves, and Maxie says she thinks that went well, but doesn’t Lucy think they’re kind of putting the cart before the horse here? Lucy says, how so? and Maxie asks if she doesn’t think they should have given Sasha some warning before they offered her job to someone else.

Sasha invites Cody in, and says she’s really glad he stopped by. He says, really? Because it sure looks like she was planning on leaving town without saying goodbye to him. She says she’s sorry. She got caught up in packing after she decided to go. He asks why she’s leaving, and she says, because everywhere she turns in this town reminds her of the mistakes she’s made or a person she let take advantage of her. It’s too painful for her to live in Port Charles. She worried that if she stays here, she might get dragged back down again. She feels like she needs to start over someplace new. He asks where she’s going, and she says, Austin (I assume she means the city, not the guy), and he says, Austin, Texas? She nods, and he asks if she knows people there, friends or family? She says, no. She’ll meet people. She’ll make friends. He says, friends like Nina and Maxie? Michael and Willow? Friends like him?

Sam tells Carly that she’s sorry. She probably shouldn’t have brought up Sonny’s wedding. It must be a raw subject for her. Carly says she’s okay… and not okay. It doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved past Sonny, because she has. She’s with Drew and he makes her so happy, and her life is good, and it’s only going to get better when Drew gets out of prison. But she can’t say marrying Sonny doesn’t… It stings.

Sasha says she doesn’t think she’ll meet someone like Cody ever again, and he says, of course (🍷) not. So why is she leaving town? She says, because she’s lost. Ever since she came to Port Charles, it’s been one mistake after another. Starting with working with Valentin to convince Nina that she was her long-lost daughter. Then she got involved with Cyrus Renault who got her hooked on drugs. (Oh no. She got herself hooked on drugs before she met him.) Finally, she trusted Gladys, who took advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable. She doesn’t know why she keeps making these epic mistakes; putting her trust in the wrong people. He says he thinks he might know.

Lucy tells Maxie, Sasha didn’t deserve any of those bad things that happened to her, they know that. But even if they replace her as the Face of Deception, she’s still going to be a shareholder. She’s still a partner in the company. It’s just that, for the good of Deception, they need a fresh face, one that the customers don’t associate with all those public meltdowns. And she thinks Blaze is perfect to take them in a completely new direction and ultimately, that is going to benefit Sasha too. Maxie says, from a business perspective, she totally gets where Lucy is coming from, but she wishes there was another way. Martin approaches the table and says, another way to what? He kisses Lucy and asks, what’s with the long faces? What’s going on? Maxie says, Deception business, when her phone dings. She says she got an SOS from her mom and her mom is watching her kids. She’ll be right back. She leaves, and Martin sits down, asking, what’s all that about? Lucy says, sometimes the beauty business is anything but glamorous.

Kristina says she knows it was Sonny’s idea to elope, but what was it? What wedding planning moment pushed him over the edge? Was it the thought of a huge 100 person plus wedding, or was it just that they didn’t want to wait a year to be husband and wife? Sonny says he always wanted Nina to have whatever wedding she wanted to have; whatever made her happy. Then he started thinking, why do they have to have a special event? Why can’t they just go to his island, because he loves his island and the staff will take care of everything. Kristina asks, what about Nina? How hard did her father have to persuade Nina to abandon the wedding she was planning, all the guests and everything, and elope? Nina says she caved in less than a minute, and they laugh.

Willow says she didn’t expect Amelia to fall asleep so fast. She thought Amelia would want to stay up with them since they’ve been gone. Michael says, Wiley is so content playing in his room. He loves that toy jet. She says she can’t believe he’s already asking to fly back to grandpa and grandma’s island tomorrow, and Michael says, they’ll see what happens when he finishes his business. She says, of course () she’s happy to be home and be with Amelia, but she’s sorry they had to leave Puerto Rico early; it’s just so peaceful and beautiful there. And she’s disappointed they couldn’t take Wiley to the ocean. She thinks he would have loved to walk on the beach. He promises they’ll go back soon again, and she says, maybe they can coordinate with Sonny and Nina, make it another family trip. But he says he’s too busy planning the ruin of everyone’s lives for that.

Nina says, when Kristina’s dad first pitched the idea of eloping, it took her a second, but she thought, why not? It seems very intimate. And then she said yes, and then she saw Kristina and Michael and Willow and Wiley and Donna, she was blindsided, but in the best possible way. Kristina says, this was an awesome surprise. Not just having her show up, but getting Carly’s permission to have Donna there, and Michael and Willow and Wiley. Sonny has some epic powers of persuasion. He says he does what he can, and she says, he never gave up on Michael, no matter how long Michael gave him the cold shoulder. He says, Michael had a lot of anger, but he let go of it and left the decision up to Willow whether they would come to the wedding. Nina says, and her daughter chose to come to the wedding, which is a turning point for her and Willow. And she owes it all to Sonny.

Michael promises Willow that she and the kids will go back to the island, and if Sonny and Nina want to join them, that’s great. He really wants to show her and Wiley around the island. He thinks Amelia is still a little too young to appreciate it. Willow says, it will still be nice to have her with them. She loves it when the family’s all together. He says, him too. He remembers going there when he was a kid, and those were the happiest times they had as a family while he was growing up. She says, now he wants to pass on that tradition to his own children, and he says he does. He kisses her hand and says he wishes he could stay, but he has to get to this meeting. She says she hopes he does. Otherwise, she and Wiley could be on a beach in Puerto Rico. He never did say who he needed to meet with. He says, some new information fell into his lap, and he just has to confirm it before he takes the next step. She says, sounds important, and he says, if it’s what he thinks it is, it could be a real game changer.

Lucy tells Martin that she feels it’s important for Deception to go in a different direction, especially since the horrible lawsuit has been settled. Time for a fresh start. He says, about that. He can’t tell her how sorry he is. He knows how much it pained her to give up 51% of her company, especially to a person like Tracy Quartermaine. She says, let’s not go with that negative aspect. She can’t help it. It’s a horrible thought and an awful bitter pill to swallow. She has to move on, but she can’t. She’s having a really hard time with this. She doesn’t know how. She just knows she will never ever, ever forgive or forget Tracy. She has to thank karma though, that one day Tracy will get what she deserves, and if she has a chance to push that happening through right away, that’s what she’s going to do. She’s just going to get karma to move Tracy right along. Martin suggests they move to his hotel suite to get a little R&R – room service and relaxation. His phone rings, and he says, perfect timing. Forgive him just a sec. He answers, and Michael says he needs to see Martin in his office right away. Martin says, really? It just so happens he’s in the middle of something. Michael says, it’s in Martin’s best interest. He recently discovered that Martin made a serious mistake, and he’s going to give Martin exactly one chance to make things right. It’s now or never.

Carly thanks Sam for checking on her, and says she really appreciates it, but Sam has so much on her plate. She heard what happened with Sasha. She can’t believe what Gladys did to her. She never trusted that woman ever. Sam says, Sasha is doing as well as can be expected, and Carly says, she’s been through hell. Carly has been in Ferncliff, and it’s your worst nightmare. Sam says she knows and Gladys taking advantage of Sasha’s guardianship is disgusting. She’s glad Sonny ran her out of town. Carly says, she’s lucky that’s all Sonny did, and Sam says she’s sure Sonny made it very clear that Gladys can never set foot in Port Charles again, let alone ever come near Sasha. Carly says, she’d better not. There’s no reason for Gladys Corbin to ever come back to Port Charles. Sam says, Sasha is finally free of Gladys. Thank God.

Cody says he really think Sasha is being too hard on herself. She’s human. Humans make mistakes; hundreds if not thousands a year. If they didn’t, life would be perfect, but it would also be completely boring. Trust him. He knows what he’s talking about. He’s pretty much the king of messing up. He’s made monumental, ginormous mistakes that were selfish and stupid. If there’s a mistake to be made, he’s made it, because he’s made them all. She says, name one, and he says, not going after Gladys sooner, but she says, that doesn’t count. He was protecting her. He says, how about him working for Selina Wu? Not exactly a smart decision. She says, he tried to make some money. Not the best person to get involved with, but still, he tried to do a job. He says, she’s just determined to see the best in him, isn’t she? and she says, that’s because she owes a lot to him. And she really wishes he’d see himself the way she does. Honestly, so far, he hasn’t mentioned any mistakes that were really all that bad. He says, okay then. Here’s a doozy. How about the fact that his biological dad is actually here in Port Charles, and he lied to him, convincing him that he’s not actually his son?

Sasha says, if Cody’s dad lives here in town, why would he lie about it? and Cody says, because he’s an idiot? She tells him not to say that, but he says he doesn’t know how else to describe his decision. When the DNA results came back at GH, he lied right to his dad’s face, when he was holding in his hand the test results that said Mac Scorpio is his biological father. She says, the Police Commissioner Mac Scorpio? and he says, yeah, that’s the one. She says, Maxie’s stepfather? and he says, same guy. She asks, how? and he says, it’s a long story, but essentially, Mac never knew that his mother was pregnant with him. She says, okay, but why not tell him now? and he says, Leopold Taub, his mother’s late husband… He thought if he could prove that he was Taub’s son, he could possibly get a lot of money. It’s not important now. It had something to do with the WSB destroying the Ice Princess necklace, which belonged to Taub. She says, so that’s it? He lied about Mac being his dad because of money? He says, no, that’s not the only reason, and she says, then why? She doesn’t know Mac all that well, but all Maxie ever does is talk about what a great guy he is, and how he’s always been a father figure to her even though he’s not her biological dad. Cody says he knows. That’s the thing. In what world does a grifter like him deserve to have a great dad? Mac is honest, he’s loyal, he’s hardworking, he’s selfless. Not to mention, he’s a cop. Why would he want a troublemaker like Cody as his son? The reality is, he doesn’t deserve to have Mac as a father.

Maxie comes back and asks, where’s Martin? and Lucy says, her Marty always has a full plate. He got an important business call and had to dash. Maxie suggests they get back to the Face of Deception, and Lucy says, okay, but she thought it was all settled. If Blaze gives them the thumbs up, then they do replace Sasha, but she still retains all her shares, which is a win-win for everybody. Maxie says, maybe not, and Lucy asks, what’s the problem? Maxie asks if she forgot about Tracy, and Lucy says, if only she could. Maxie says, whether they like it or not, Tracy owns the majority of Deception. This is kind of a big business decision, so she thinks they need to run it by her. Lucy says she’s not going to bow to that woman. Tracy certainly isn’t the boss of her. She may have 51% of their company, and 1% of Lucy’s precious ELQ, but that doesn’t mean she has to ask Tracy’s permission to make a sound business decision. She doesn’t. Because they need to take Deception into a new direction, starting with a fresh new face. Maxie says, Lucy is kind of acting like this is a done deal. Blaze has not signed a contract yet. She wants to think about it. Lucy says, so? She really does have a good feeling about this, but Maxie says, you know who’s not going to have a good feeling about this? Sasha. She thinks they should tell her. She’s not only their business partner; she’s their friend. Telling her is the right thing to do.

Kristina walks into the chapel with her champagne and looks out at the view. Blaze joins her, and says, fancy meeting you here. Kristina asks, what in the world is she doing here?

Wiley wonders why grandpa and grandma didn’t fly home with them, and Willow says, they had to come back early because his dad had a work emergency, but Grandma Nina and Grandpa Sonny stayed behind because they’re now on their honeymoon. Wiley asks, what’s that? and Willow says, it’s a vacation you take after you get married. He says he doesn’t get it. Why do you need a vacation after you get married? Does it make you that tired? No, kid, but marriage does.

Nina says, it’s beautiful here. She can see why Sonny loves it so much. It’s a perfect place to have a wedding and to spend their honeymoon. He says he loves it here. It’s always been his home away from home. She thanks him for sharing it with her, and he says, she’s his wife now. They share everything; the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. They’re going to share it all.

Martin walks into Michael’s office and says he does not enjoy being summoned. And he likes being threatened even less, so unless Michael knows something he doesn’t, he has no business here, with Michael or Aurora. Michael thanks him for coming and says he assures Martin that he didn’t imply any threat. He’s just telling Martin the truth. Martin says, about what? and Michael says, that Martin made a terrible mistake when he turned Michael’s mother and Drew Cain in to the SEC for insider trading.

Sasha can’t believe Cody would say something like that. Any man would be so proud to call Cody his son, including Mac Scorpio. Look at what he did for her, and that was after she stabbed him. He says, there were extenuating circumstances. She didn’t think she was stabbing him; she thought she was stabbing Cyrus Renault. And that’s just because Gladys and that unethical… Dr. Montague were drugging her. She says, it doesn’t matter. He sacrificed his freedom to help her. He wasn’t afraid to go after Dr. Montague. What he did was so incredibly brave. He says, no. She was the brave one. She went back in that hellhole where they were drugging her against her will. Montague was basically torturing her, and she did all that to stop him. She says, he calls it brave, she calls it desperate. Putting Montague behind bars and freeing herself from Gladys were just things she needed to do in order to get her life back if she was ever going to have one. Now that she does, she needs to start from scratch. He says, someplace else, and she says, yes.

Sonny says he was going to ask Nina about the turquoise bracelet. Is there some significance, because he’s never seen her wear it. She flashes back to Willow giving her the bracelet and telling her that Harmony gave it to her on her 16^th birthday. According to Harmony, turquoise is supposed to bring peace, luck, and protection. Nina tells Sonny that he’s right. He hasn’t seen it because it’s brand new, and it’s incredibly significant because it’s a gift from her daughter.

Martin says he has no idea what Michael is talking about. And even if he did, this isn’t a courtroom and Michael certainly isn’t a judge. Forgive him, but he’s under zero obligation as to Michael’s allegation. Michael says, Martin can tap-dance around the issue, but he already knows Martin is the one who contacted the SEC and suggested they investigate Drew and his mom for insider trading. Martin says, regardless of who made the phone call, the simple fact is, Mr. Cain was found guilty. As to why Drew chose to be the fall guy for Michael’s mother, he has no idea. Let’s be honest. She was the real guilty party. If anyone should be in prison… Michael says, his mom made a mistake. She was just trying to help him and Drew, but the merger between ELQ and Aurora never happened. His mom didn’t make any money. Hell, she lost her half of the MetroCourt, so breaking the law didn’t count. In most cases similar to his mom’s, the SEC would have just walked away, but there’s someone behind this case, pushing it to go forward. He knows it wasn’t Martin’s idea to contact the SEC. He was just working on his client’s behalf. His client used him to put maximum damage on Michael’s family; to his mother, Drew’s daughter, Michael’s siblings, his uncle. Martin’s actions caused a lot of pain, a lot of devastation to a lot of people. That’s why he called Martin here, because he’s giving Martin a chance to save himself. He’s giving Martin a chance to make almonds amends.

Willow says, and for dessert, chocolate pudding, one of Wiley’s favorites. Wiley thanks her, and says, Grandpa Sonny and Grandma Nina should have had chocolate pudding at their wedding. Willow says she’s glad he had such a good time at the wedding, and he says, it was really fun. He loves Grandpa Sonny and Grandma Nina so much. She says she’s glad to hear that, and he says, she loves them too, right? She says she loves their whole family.

Kristina says, Blaze is here, right? She only had two glasses of champagne, three now, at her dad’s wedding, so she knows she’s not hallucinating. Blaze says, it’s her, and Kristina asks how she’s even in Puerto Rico. When they were texting earlier, all Blaze said was they should hang out when she was back in Port Charles. Blaze says, it turns out they didn’t have to wait that long to see each other again.

Carly says, when Sam sees Sasha, give Sasha her best, and tell her that if she needs anything, Carly is here for her. Sam says she’s going to see Sasha when she gets out of here, but she wanted to check in on her friend. Carly says she’s glad Sam did. She wants Sam to know, even though Sonny marrying Nina stings, she loves Drew; she adores him. And she’s never going to forget the sacrifice he made for her. It’s really important to her that Sam sees that. Sam says she does, and she knows. They hug, and Sam leaves.

Cody asks when Sasha is leaving, and she says, the movers will be here tomorrow morning. He says, wow. He totally understands her wanting to get a fresh start, but does it really have to be away from Port Charles? Is she absolutely sure about that? There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Maxie. She asks, what’s with the boxes? and Cody says, Sasha’s leaving town. Maxie says, she’s leaving Port Charles? and Sasha says she’s moving to Austin. Maxie asks, what’s in Texas? and Cody says, nothing. And no one. He leaves, and Maxie goes inside. Sasha says, the point is, she needs a fresh start, one that doesn’t hold painful memories. When she goes to GH, all she thinks about is losing her sweet Liam. Whenever she goes to Charlie’s Pub, she forces a smile. She might look happy, but she can’t erase the images in her head. Brando laying on the ground, the rain washing away the blood from his chest. She can still hear herself screaming. Maxie says her heart aches for Sasha because she knows exactly how Sasha feels. When Nathan died, she wanted to run away. She wanted to be anywhere but here. And then she realized what is here, her friends and family who love her. Sasha says, don’t try to talk her out of it. She’s made up her mind.

Maxie says she’s not trying to get Sasha to stay. She just wants Sasha to know she understands the impulse to leave. Sasha needs to do what’s best for herself. Sasha says, honestly, she doesn’t know what’s best for her. These past couple of months, she’s been just living outside of herself, looking down, seeing this broken person locked in a room curled up in a ball, unable to function because of the drugs that monster Montague forced on her. Maxie says, maybe she was trying to detach herself from the horrors of that place, and Sasha says, maybe. She can see clearly again, and all she knows is, she has to get away. Maxie says, of course (🍷) she’ll support Sasha’s decision no matter what that is. She does want Sasha to know Deception won’t be the same without her. Sasha really hopes this doesn’t make things difficult for Maxie and Lucy. She’s so sorry. The last thing she wants to do is… Maxie says, she has nothing to be sorry about, and Sasha thanks her. She’s so glad Maxie stopped by. Why did she stop by? Maxie says she just missed her friend.

Kristina says, Blaze didn’t come here just to see her, and Blaze says, no. Her abuela lives in Puerto Rico, that’s why she’s here. She hates to fly, so Blaze visits her a lot; they’re really close. Kristina says, that’s sweet, and Blaze says, she’s great. She actually used to work at the hotel. Kristina says, really? and Blaze says, Kristina’s dad owns the property, right? Kristina says, yeah. She’s staying here. That’s crazy. What a small world. How did Blaze wind up in the chapel? Blaze says she decided to light a candle for her abuelo and say a prayer. Then she walked in, and there Kristina was. Kristina says, here she is, and Blaze says, must be fate. Kristina says, could be.

Carly flips the sign to Closed at Kelly’s.

Nina says, a shooting star, and Sonny says, she knows what she’s supposed to do when she sees a shooting star, right? She’s supposed to make a wish. She asks how she’s supposed to make a wish when he’s given her everything she’s ever wanted. She’s his wife now; he’s her husband. She loves him so much. He says he loves her too, and she’s changed his life in ways he’s just beginning to understand. She says, happy wedding day, Mr. Corinthos, and he says, happy wedding day, Mrs. Corinthos.

Willow flashes back to congratulating Nina, and Nina telling her that it meant so much she was there.

Martin tells Michael that if he was acting on behalf of a client – and that’s’ a big if – his actions would be covered by attorney/client privilege, which means he couldn’t possibly discuss it. Michael says, of course (🍷). He understands. What kind of attorney would Martin be if he broke that trust? Martin says he’s glad they understand each other, but Michael says, of course (🍷) he’d then have to refer this issue to Sonny, and he’d handle it his way. Martin says he sees no reason to involve Mr. Corinthos. Even if Sonny came to him with the same question, the same privilege would still exist. Michael says, that’s where they disagree, because Martin’s client’s actions harmed Sonny’s family. His client lied to Sonny and continues to lie to him. He thinks Sonny needs to know that. Doesn’t Martin? Sonny doesn’t know Martin is involved and it can remain that way provided Martin tells him the name of who’s actually responsible. Martin says, if he does that, it could ruin his reputation as a lawyer, but Michael says he already knows she’s the one. He just needs Martin to confirm it. That, or he could tell Sonny under much less comfortable circumstances. Martin says, Nina Reeves (b*st*rd!). He called the SEC at Nina Reeves’s direction and suggested they investigate Drew Cain and Carly Spencer for insider trading. Michael thanks him and says he can go now, and Martin asks what he’s going to do. Michael says he appreciates Martin meeting with him, and Martin leaves. Michael messes with his phone, and hears a recording of what Martin just told him. He looks so satisfied, I wish I could smack him.

Tomorrow, Lois asks if Eddie/Ned is calling her a liar; Gregory says he came to settle a score; Cyrus tells Austin that they have some unfinished business; and Josslyn says she has to speak to Dante. It’s a matter of life and death.

Below Deck Mediterranean

The only upside of watching this season will be if Natalya gets the boot. I have no clue why anybody likes her. She belongs in the Awful People Hall of Fame.

Natalya tries to lecture Tumi, who says, goodbye and walks away. Captain Sandy says, they can finally leave the dock, and Natalya gripes to Jessika. In Max’s interview, he says he’s had four years’ yachting experience, but this is his first time with an English operation. The vibe in America and South Africa is go, go, go. You go to work, but you don’t know what’s happening. Natalya tells Jack that she hates Tumi because Tumi has an issue with her, and in Jack’s interview, he says, Tumi and Natalya are fighting, and they need to get it sorted out. If it continues through another charter, it could cause a divide in the crew. It will be like how the Titanic divided, and it didn’t end well for Jack. Luka says, lets smash this, which is probably a poor choice of words when coming or going into a marina. In his interview, Luka says he finally gets to see Max in action. They’re finally leaving the dock, so hopefully, it will be easier. The captain says, they did an excellent job, and primary Mecca shows Tumi how to make a proper mimosa by pouring only champagne into the glass. In her interview, Tumi says, that’s her kind of mimosa. Agreed. In Luka’s interview, he says he loves Lara’s enthusiasm. As a first time bosun, he doesn’t have to tell her what to do, and it makes his job easier. Breakfast orders are taken, and Captain Sandy asks Luka how the deck team is. He says, they’re doing really good, and Lara is great, and the captain tells him, you do you. They proceed to drop anchor in Santa Margharita, and Luka asks if Max is comfortable dealing with the anchor. Breakfast food porn! My favorite kind. Natalya tells Kyle that she’s done. Tumi isn’t listening to her, and she’s been disrespectful from day one. After hearing about her texting Kyle, she could easily come at Tumi. In Kyle’s interview, he says he lives for a good goss, but he’s realizing his involvement made the situation worse. He told Tumi about Natalya, and Tumi sent a text to him saying, even though he and Natalya were mates, Natalya needed to stay in her lane. We flash back to Tumi texting Kyle about Natalya having a diva moment, and Kyle says, he’s good at getting information, but not good at keeping it. He assures Natalya that she’s not going anywhere. The water toys are put out, and one of the guests says, it’s swimming time. Tumi tells Captain Sandy that she’s worried because of Natalya’s constant resistance, and the captain says, that’s not good.

Tumi says, it feels like Natalya didn’t like her when she walked in. She just wants to get the job done. Captain Sandy says, if Tumi needs her, call her, but she thinks it’s hard for people to adjust. She suggests if Tumi approaches with kindness, she’ll win. Tumi says she’s going to have a chat with Natalya, and the captain says, if it doesn’t change, come to her. In her interview, Captain Sandy says, when you’re second stew, everyone loves you, but when you’re chief stew, the love isn’t there. When you lead, you’re not always popular. There are growing pains, but they need figure out how to work together. If it becomes a bigger issue, she’ll have to step in. Natalya tells Jessika that she’s not sorry, and Max does chin-ups. In Max’s interview, he says he’s ADHD, but as a kid, he never took his pills. He made believe he did because when he took them, he was like a zombie. In Tumi’s interview, says, the primary wants to surprise her friends with lunch in a beautiful spot, and she got the Santa Margharita castle. It was built in the 1600s, and used to be the scene of epic miliary raids, but now it’s a great picnic spot. In Jack’s interview, he thinks having Natalya in his ear has colored his perspective. When he and Tumi talk one-on-one, they have a good vibe and could have a working relationship in the future, but it’s hard when people are in his ear, right or wrong. Natalya says, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah about Tumi to Jessika, and in Jessika’s interview, she says, every time she sees Natalya, she has an update on whatever Tumi did wrong. Natalya whines that Tumi never says thank you and came onto the boat with the worst attitude. Oh God, she doesn’t stop. In her interview, Jessika says, note to self, never get on Nat’s bad side. The guests use the water toys, and Luka tells Tumi that it’s time to take the supplies over. In Luka’s interview, he says, the castle overlooks the port and it’s so beautiful, but he wishes it wasn’t so f***ing high. Max is the laziest dude on earth, and watches as the girls carry supplies up a million stairs. Luka radios that he’s bringing the guests and is going to take a deckhand back. Max volunteers and in her interview, Lara says she wants to kick Max in the d*ck. In Max’s interview, he says, it’s the second day and he’s exhausted, and in Lara’s interview, she says, the dynamic on deck had been amazing, but now she’s worried. Laziness annoys the sh*t out of her. Yachting isn’t all fun and games. Work isn’t Max’s mentality, and she’s going to lose her sh*t.

The guests go to the castle, while back on the yacht, Max lies on a float. He says he’s tired. In Kyle’s interview, he says he’s not excited to be taking a hike on day two, but the bright side is, on day three his ass will look fantastic. Served for lunch at the castle is… food porn! Luka calls for help packing, and Tumi sends Natalya. In Natalya’s interview, she says she just wants to get a break away from the Tuminator. In Tumi’s interview, she says, the cabins aren’t finished; there’s spots on the mirrors, and trash wasn’t removed. She wants Natalya to go out and not have to stay on the boat all the time, but if she’s not done, Tumi would appreciate her saying something. Don’t say she’s done when she’s not done. The guests are going shopping on their own, and Kyle says he’s getting too old for this sh*t. Back on the boat, Max works out. I guess he’s not too exhausted for that. Tumi tells Jessika that the biggest thing with her is the trash not being removed, and she can see the bathrooms aren’t wiped down. She doesn’t care about it not being done, but Natalya told her the cabins were done. If she’d said she wasn’t finished, it would have been perfectly fine. When Natalya comes back, she tells Jessika that she did the cabins, but Jessika says, Tumi was annoyed that the cabins weren’t done. Natalya says, they all have towels, like that’s all there is to it, and calls Tumi to meet her at the bar. She asks Tumi what the issue is this time. She did the cabins and made the beds. Tumi says, if the cabins were done, the showers would have been wiped, and Natalya just wants to argue. Jessika says she’s not dealing with this, and jets. Wise move. Tumi says she’s chief stew, and Natalya says, congratulations. I honestly don’t get why this kind of behavior is allowed. If anybody else said that to their boss, they’d be fired. Tumi says, Natalya’s had a problem with her from the beginning, and Natalya says, Tumi has been nitpicking from the jump. Kyle tells Captain Sandy that they’re fighting, and the captain goes to the bar. Tumi tells Natalya not to scream at her, and Captain Sandy tells them both to go to the bridge. On the bridge, Natalya says, Tumi is the only person she doesn’t get along with. The captain thanks Natalya for everything she’s done, but she’s not going to handle this. Natalya whines that Tumi texted Kyle and said she’d have no problem firing Natalya. Tumi laughs, and the captain tells her it’s not okay to make fun of people when you’re in a leadership role. She’s ready to put them both off the boat.

Natalya leaves, and Captain Sandy tells Tumi to rise above and figure it out. In her interview, the captain says, you have to respect each other in the workplace. This behavior doesn’t make anyone happy. She tells Tumi that she owes Natalya an apology for laughing, and in her interview, the captain says she diffused the situation. Now she needs to step away and let them handle it. If she’s the one who draws the line, they’ll never respect each other. If she hears Natalya screaming again and Tumi can’t diffuse the situation, she’ll have to make a decision. Natalya whines that she doesn’t need this sh*t in her life. Tumi talks to Kyle about the texts, and he says, Natalya twisted his words. She did this last season. When she’s in a corner, a rat will chew through. In Tumi’s interview, she says she doesn’t know where this is coming from – if it’s Natalya or Kyle – and it’s frustrating. In hindsight, it was unprofessional of her to text Kyle, and that’s on her. She’ll learn from her mistake and thinks they can have a constructive conversation. On shore, the guests are still shopping and eating ice cream, and the town is super cute. Tumi asks Natalya to talk, but Natalya says she has to chill. She’ll communicate to Tumi through Kyle, and vice versa. Kyle tells Tumi not to lower herself. Max jumps around on deck, while Lara puts stuff away. In Max’s interview, he says he thinks Lara is frustrated, and wonders if it’s him or is she just like this. Um… It’s you, Max. Kyle tells Jessika, positive vibes, and Jack goes over the menu with Tumi. In Jack’s interview, he says, it hasn’t been the perfect charter, so tonight, dinner has to go perfect. In the crew mess, Lara tells Luka that Max is lazy, and Max says, this boat is different. In Luka’s interview, he says, if he tells the girls to do something, they’ll just do it, but he has to tread carefully with Max to make sure he doesn’t f*** up the whole vibe on deck. Captain Sandy calls Tumi to the bridge, and the guests are picked up from shore. The captain tells Tumi that she knows walking in as chief stew was hard, but when Tumi feels pushback, talk it out. Tumi says, it’s hard to have a conversation with Natalya, and the captain asks if they didn’t have a chat, but Tumi says, Natalya didn’t want to talk to her. Captain Sandy says she needs the team to do their job respectfully, and Tumi says she’s shocked she’s responded this way. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s worked at keeping her emotions inside. When she was a kid, she had the lead role in her ballet concert, when her mom told her that her dad was killed in a shooting. She went on stage for a two-hour show, cried on breaks, then danced. She knows how to hide her emotions to do her job. Fighting people is unusual. The captain says, Tumi is doing an amazing job. Keep trying. I dunno. I think this is above Tumi’s paygrade and the captain should step in now. The guests return, and Mecca asks if the crew missed them. Luka says, of course, and Kyle greets them with warm towels. The guests rave about the town, and say it was amazing. Jessika tells Tumi that she’s not stirring things up. She was just reiterating what needs to be done. Tumi tells her, it’s okay, and hugs her. In Jessika’s interview, she says she’s starting to feel bad for Tumi. Natalya didn’t want to hand over the role, so she’s being a mean girl. It reminds her of high school, and she doesn’t like it. YES! The self-proclaimed lazy follower is the voice of reason. There’s a charming tropical table setting, and the stews are wearing daisy crowns. Jessika tells Kyle that she thinks Natalya is being a mean girl, and he agrees. He says, it was the same last season, and Jessika asks if they want a mean girl. He says, no, but she’s one bitch you don’t want to cross paths with. If Jessika doesn’t want to die today, don’t go down there.

Max sings in French in his bunk, and in the galley, Captain Sandy says, it smells like the Caribbean in here. Natalya starts bitching to the captain, who tells her, communication is the key. She and Tumi need to chat in a non-threatening way. Natalya whines that Tumi nitpicked from the second she came in, but Captain Sandy says, she and Tumi need to have that conversation. They can figure it out. In the crew mess, Haleigh asks if they kicked the day’s d*ck, and Luka says, they did. Lara says, her d*ck was kicked. Max doesn’t know what yachting is really like. Caribbean food porn! Everyone is all happy, and one guest says, the bar is set. They’re Jamaicans. No surprise, vegan guest Adjua thinks her food is bland, and Mecca tells Tumi, it’s super important that her friends are happy, and Adjua isn’t loving her food. Adjua says she wants fried tofu; season it and fry it. She needs something greasy. Jessika tries to appeal to Natalya’s humanity, forgetting she has none, and says she thinks Tumi feels like they did first charter, but Natalya says, too bad. Tumi tells Jack that Adjua wants tofu fried in French fry grease. In Jack’s interview, he says he’s a lot of things, but vegan isn’t one of them. I must not even understand it, because wouldn’t French fry grease be cheating? Tumi brings Adjua the tofu, but it’s still not right. Mecca asks Tumi to get Jack, and on his way in, Tumi whispers to him that Adjua wanted it breaded and fried. Jack tells them that he wasn’t told fried, and not one to be toyed with, Mecca calls Tumi in. Tumi says she did so tell him friend, and for whatever reason, Jack understood it to mean pan seared, and deep fried is fried. In his interview, Jack says, they have to be specific. He’s a wizard in the kitchen, but he can’t read their minds. Well, I think he should understand what fried means to Americans, who are a large percentage of their clientele. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s emotionally exhausted. There’s tension in every single corner. She’d thought she was making headway with Jack, then he threw her under the bus. She asks how the tofu is, and Adjua says, much better. The guests go to bed, and in her interview, Tumi says she’s shocked that things are this bad. She just wants to hide, but she knows at this point she has to change something on her part and she has to do it now.

Max does push-ups, and Luka tells him to help Lara. Mecca says, they have 90 minutes in paradise left, breakfast is served, and anchor is home. Haleigh says she thinks the bow is hard with one person, and gets stuck with Max. In her interview, she says, knowing what she’s seen, it’s not going to go well. In the laundry, Natalya announces that she doesn’t need this sh*t in her life. I’m not sure if she means the general sh*t going on or something specific, since she’s constantly grumbling about everything. Tumi tells Jessika that she and Natalya need to have a conversation. In her interview, Tumi says, the situation has gone too far and needs to end. She’s willing to swallow her pride and take one for the team. She tells Natalya that she hates conflict in the interior. She respects Natalya’s enthusiasm (is that what we’re calling it?) and feels like they’re similar. Maybe too similar and that’s the problem. She’s worked with many different chief stews and took things she liked, then shaped them how she wanted to manage. Natalya gripes that she had to work with three stews, one of them a greenie, before Tumi got here. If Tumi had just acknowledged her, it would have been different. Tumi says she told Natalya thank you, but admits that Natalya pissed her off after the introduction. Natalya says, Tumi never gave her a fair go, but Tumi says, Natalya didn’t give her a fair go either. Natalya insists that Tumi wanted to show Natalya her place, but Tumi says she’s not like that. On deck, Max doesn’t listen to what Haleigh’s telling him while docking, and Luka wants to know, WTF is going on? Natalya whines that Tumi coddles Kyle, while she gets crickets. Tumi is supposed to be her boss (wow. I didn’t know she knew that), so she’ll do whatever Tumi wants, but doesn’t want to be her friend. She thinks it’s bullsh*t, but loves the work. She’ll do whatever, but doesn’t want a friendship. Max is babbling incessantly, and Haleigh tells him to shut up. The captain says, this is not good. In her interview, she says, hell no. With a full team, everything should be easier to operate. That’s clearly not the case. Natalya says she just wants a successful charter where they make big tips, and Tumi says, okay, cool. As soon as Tumi is out of earshot, Natalya says, little bitch.

To be continued…

💭 A thought: I’m not sure where Captain Sandy sees Natalya as being a good person. At best, she’s lazy. I think she likes the tips and the yachting, but not the work. She also caused a bunch of trouble last season. Can’t the captain see the common denominator here?  

👻 Friendly Ghosting You…

Pull up a chair tomorrow for some soap and a spot ‘o tea. Until then, stay safe, stay not dipping into your own candy until Halloween is over, and stay remembering humans make mistakes. If they didn’t, life would be perfect, but it would also be completely boring.