What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kristina tells Alexis, so she accidentally said my baby, one time, on accident. It’s shorthand for the thing that’s growing inside of her that’s not really hers. It’s completely taken over her body. It’s making her have to pee 24/7. It’s making her hungry and hormonal, and it’s really her sister’s and her partner’s. Alexis says she sees why Kristina would want some kind of shorthand, and Kristina says she can’t win. TJ thinks she doesn’t care about this baby and Alexis thinks she cares about this baby too much. So maybe the two of them should get together and settle on how much they should think she should care about this baby and let her know. Alexis says, got it. Promise. Point taken. She understands why Kristina is frustrated. There’s been a lot of backseat pregnancy-ing here. Kristina says she is falling a little bit in love with this baby, but how could she not? It’s a part of her. And it’s not like she did it on purpose; it just happened. And it’s not a bad thing that this baby gets to feel love before it’s born. Alexis says, that’s another good point, and Kristina says, so she doesn’t know what everyone is freaking out about. Alexis says, the fact that Kristina doesn’t understand why everyone is concerned is cause for concern all by itself.

Carrying shopping bags through the park with Natalia, Blaze says she’s so excited that Miranda agreed to be her stylist, and Natalia says, it took some convincing. She didn’t just volunteer. Blaze says she knows and appreciates everything Natalia did to make it happen. They sit on a bench, and Natalia says, she feels like Blaze was resisting a lot of her suggestions. She didn’t side with anything that wasn’t amazing. Blaze says she wants Miranda to design the looks for her tour and her public appearances, but when it comes to her downtime, she reserves the right to dress how she wants. Natalia says, she doesn’t have downtime. Building a brand and maintaining it is a full-time job.

Anna hands Bennet some paperwork and says he has to talk to the union rep first and the lawyers. He says, and all this is on her to-do list for tomorrow, as in just tomorrow and not the rest of the month? She says, it’s going to be a long day, and he says, even though she’s going to be out of the office, he has the feeling she’s still going to have a long day. She says, almost certainly, but at the end of that long day, she will have checked out of the MetroCourt and into her own absolutely perfect apartment.

Sam says, Dante has managed to remain clear-eyed and clear-headed about potential conflicts, and he always does the right thing. He says, does he? How many times has he erred on the side of being a son versus being a cop? She asks if he thinks resigning from the force is the only way to reconcile his doubts, and he says he thinks when he found out Dex was applying to the police academy, his first thought should have been, maybe this kid will be a decent cop, not what Dex has on his dad. She says, he just did it. He turned one single fleeting thought into a rebuke of his whole career. He says, here’s another thing. She had to see how the guys were treating Dex at Chase’s bachelor party. It was bad. Dex was just on Sonny’s payroll; he’s Sonny’s blood. She says, there’s no comparison between the two of them. He was a cop way before he found out Sonny was his father. Dex knew exactly who Sonny was before he chose to work for him. Dante says, cops care about proximity to people like Sonny. He’s Sonny’s son. You don’t get any closer than that. He can’t even imagine what they all must think about him. She says she can imagine, because she was there when every single one of them showed up to donate blood when he was in the hospital. You don’t do that for someone you don’t respect. He says, cops do that for other cops, and she says, he always does that.

Ava looks at the prescription bottle, and Sonny says, Carly shows up here like it’s her home. Then she tells him that he can’t see his own daughter in his own home. She asks if something happened with Donna, and he says, of course (🍷) not, but she wasn’t talking to him like he was Donna’s father. She was talking down to him like he’s not taking his medication. Then to top it off, she charges to the bathroom and goes into the drawer to check herself, like she’s still living here. Anybody else did that, does she know what he would do? Ava says, it doesn’t sound like she’s showing much respect for his privacy, and he says, she’s not showing much respect. The hell with that. The hell with you, Carly Corinthos. He takes the bottle and slams it onto the table, and Ava asks if he doesn’t mean Carly Spencer.

Sonny says, really? That’s what Ava got out of everything he just said? It was a slip of the tongue, okay? That’s it. She says, it just shows though, how hard Carly tries to push his buttons. She fails of course (🍷), but she does try. He says he’s had a lot of experience with Carly. She plays a lot of games, but he plays those games better. Ava says, it’s staggering how entitled she is. She hasn’t been his wife in years. You’d never know that by the way she acted today. And not just a wife, but a doctor too, apparently. Sonny says, to be fair, nobody knows his condition or whether he’s on or off medication more than Carly. She says, except him, obviously, and he says, obviously, but what really gets him upset is when she came in and started saying he forgot to take his medication, did he remember to take his medication. What is he, a child? What is she thinking? Ava says, she’s not thinking. He’s changed, but the way Carly sees him hasn’t. Carly doesn’t know him anymore. He says, she doesn’t have to tell him, and she says, he’s put up with more than enough today. Why doesn’t he sit down and relax? He says, what he wants to do is go over to the hospital and get his blood drawn so they can test the medication levels, and he can throw his results in Carly’s face.

Sam says, every time Dante walks out that door she worries, but she also knows how much he loves his work. He says, not anymore. That was before he knew he was subconsciously looking away from his father. Now that he knows he’s doing that, he has to stop. She asks if he’s messing with her or just venting, but he says he’s not. He really means this. She says she can’t tell him how long she’s waited for him to say he wanted to give up his badge.

Bennet says, she’s had enough of hotel living, huh? and Anna says, more than enough. Living in hotels was a necessary evil for the better part of her career. There were assignments where it didn’t make sense to rent any long-term residences. They had to be up and out in a moment’s notice, but then living in hotels became less of a convenience and more of a habit. A habit she’s decided to break and lease a space of her own. He says, with respect, it sounds a little like she’s trying to talk herself into it, and she tells him, let’s just say she’s reenforcing her decision. The perfect apartment came up. It’s fully furnished and in an ideal location and she signed the paperwork yesterday. He congratulates her, and she says, thank you, Calvin, so apparently Bennet does have a first name. She tells him, here’s everything she needs, all planned and accounted for and her itinerary at 0800 hours tomorrow. He says, it looks about right, and she says, bungee cords and a hand truck and she’ll take the files she kept in storage after the fire at her house. She’s just grateful God invented elevators. He says, she’s not using professional movers… unless she can’t because there’s sensitive stuff in those files. Gotcha. She says she’s learned the hard way how valuable old records are. She can’t trust them to anyone, except herself.

Kristina asks if Alexis remembers how upset Molly was when their first surrogate miscarried. She was devastated. And she’ll never forget seeing Molly’s face at the park that day. All she wanted to do was help her. Molly’s her sister. It was Molly’s dream to have a baby, and she wanted to help make that dream a reality, no matter what it took. Alexis says, and she loves Kristina for that and so does Molly. Kristina says, she does, when Molly and her partner aren’t questioning her every move, and Alexis says she’s sure they regret making Kristina feel scrutinized, but they’re family and they’re really imperfect. But they love each other which is why they have to give each other a lot of slack. Kristina says, Alexis means she has to give them slack, and Alexis says, no, but Kristina says, that’s what it is. Let her ask Alexis something. If Molly and TJ were using any surrogate other than her, does Alexis think they’d be policing her the same way if she occasionally, accidentally let a my baby slip once in a while?

Natalia asks if Blaze’s music manager has said anything about the studio band’s demo. This is for Blaze’s new single, so she must have some kind of feedback… Okay, so she’s totally incommunicado until after the wedding? Blaze asks why she has such an attitude when it comes to Brook, and Natalia says she doesn’t have an attitude, but she does have questions about Brook’s priorities thus far. Blaze says, there’s nothing wrong with someone being more excited about marriage than Natalia was, and Natalia says, the guitar solo on the new single is terrible. She doesn’t know what Blaze was doing with all that studio time, but it clearly wasn’t her job. Blaze says, excuse me? and Natalia says, she should have shut the guitar down. Shut down the whole session as soon as she heard it. The single cannot be released until it’s fixed. Blaze looks away, and Natalia asks if she was the only one who heard it, or was she the only one listening? Blaze says, they’ll go back in and redo it, and Natalia asks, what other choice do they have? They’re not going to pretend like this current guitarist isn’t anything better than mediocre. This single is far too important. It’s too important to use anybody other than Blaze’s brother. Blaze says, for the last time, she has to let Eloy live his own life and let her live hers.

Natalia says, Eloy is a talented musician and a born performer like her, and Blaze says, and he left the music business. He said he wants nothing more to do with it. Does she have any idea why? Natalia says, because he’s contrary. He just doesn’t admit to himself that that’s where his heart lies, but once he does… Blaze says, he’ll what? Come running back, ready to jump in the studio to make up for lost time? Natalia says she knows her son. She knows music is the air he breathes, and once she reminds him of that… Blaze says, how many times? No wonder Eloy wants out. Natalia says, what about Blaze? Does she want out too? Blaze says, no. She wants to understand why she’s not enough. She chose to have a career in music. But it doesn’t matter because Eloy’s not involved headlining, because that’s what Natalia really wants. Natalia says, Blaze is being ridiculous. Blaze knows she loves them both equally. She just hates seeing talent like that go to waste. Blaze asks if his talent isn’t his choice. As usual, when the subject of Eloy comes up, she’s wasting her breath. She picks up her bags and walks off.

Kristina tells Alexis that she’s got to go. Ally is meeting her. Alexis says, give Ally her best, and Kristina says she will. Alexis hugs her and says, she’s so generous and everyone knows it. She wants Kristina to know that Molly and TJ are just anxious. After everything they’ve been through, they’re just worried this is going to get snatched away from them just like everything else before. But you know who’s not worried? Babies. Most of the time, they come in happy and healthy, and this baby will too. And Kristina will know that she brought this life into the world without any agenda at all but love, and that’s really cool. Kristina thanks Alexis and says she loves her. Alexis says, she’s welcome and she loves Kristina too, and Kristina leaves.

Sam says she can’t tell Dante how many nights she would lay awake and pray he’d come home and tell her that he was done. He says, they should have talked about this a long time ago, and she says she knows. He should have seen the looks on the faces of all the officers and their husbands and wives, because they were all there. They were devastated of course (🍷), but she could tell they felt guilty and relieved, because fate had made its choice that night and it wasn’t them. He says, cops are pretty superstitious, and she says she knows. She lives with one. And she loves this one. So if he was to tell her that he’s ready to give up his badge, she wouldn’t pretend to be anything but grateful. They hug.

Ava says, if Sonny thinks it’s worth having a blood test to show Carly, then she thinks he should do it, but he wonders why he should waste his time. When the results come back, they’re going to be normal. She’s just going to judge him on something else. She says, very likely, and it’s probably a bad precedent to set, letting Carly think he needs her approval on how he maintains his medication. He doesn’t need her approval for anything for that matter. He says he doesn’t need Carly’s approval. She doesn’t care about him. She’s probably with Jason right now. If it wasn’t for Donna, he wouldn’t speak to her again. He’s got to cool off. He’s got to go. She suggests she come with him, but he says, no. He needs some time alone. He leaves.

Holding a huge book, Alexis answers the door to Diane, who says she hopes Alexis has had better luck that she has. Alexis says, the only thing she found in this book is a recipe for graham cracker crust that somebody shoved in here, and Diane says she’s never been partial to a graham cracker crust. (Well, we differ on that point. I’m all about a graham cracker crust.) Alexis says, in all these books, there isn’t one case where the board has vacated a disbarment. Not since her disbarment anyway. Diane says she managed to dig up some transcripts, some declarative judgements that can at least point them in the direction of what not to argue. Alexis says she guesses that’s better than finding out the hard way, and Diane says, so far, it’s just been the only way. Alexis says, they knew this case was probably doomed from the onset, but Diane says, they knew no such thing and they still don’t. If Alexis just wants to give up, then by all means just go find her kitchen, wherever it is, and make that hideous graham cracker crust recipe. Alexis says she knows where her kitchen is. It’s where she keeps the aspirin. And she’s been working on this night and day, this Don Quixote of a case, and she may have a legal crisis under her own roof, and if this one explodes, it’s going to shred her entire family.

Kristina comes home to find Blaze, who holds up a dress and asks how she likes it. Kristina says she likes it. It seems a bit much for movie night and take-out, but whatever she’s comfortable in. What she really likes is, Blaze finally used the key she gave her. Blaze says, it seemed safer coming here than the alternative, and Kristina asks, which was? Blaze says, strangling her mom in the park in broad daylight. Although anyone who’s ever met her mother might buy her insanity defense. Kristina says she knows the feeling. No one ever makes you as nuts as your own mother, right?

Natalia hears someone coming and holds her purse tighter. She sees it’s Sonny and laughs. He says he didn’t mean to scare her. She and her bags are safe. He doesn’t think there’s anything in her bags that would fit him anyway. She says, he doesn’t need help with his clothes either. She’s only seen him a few times, but… He says, she approves? and she says she does. He thanks her, and she says, and he did her a favor. She was just sitting here, stuck in her thoughts, letting time slip away from her. He says, it’s nice of her to give him a pass, but it’s not polite to sneak up on people. She says, it’s such a beautiful day. She’s feeling a little selfish hogging up this bench. Care to join her? He says, yeah. He’d like that very much. He sits down and smiles.

There’s a knock at Anna’s office door, and Dante comes in. She asks what he’s doing here. She thought he was off duty. He says he is. He just wanted to drop something off. She tells him to come in and sit down. It’s nice to see him. He takes out a piece of paper and she asks if he’s submitting a report. He says, no. This is his resignation.

Anna says, Dante was just in the hospital. He was shot. It’s understandable. He says, it’s not just the fact he was shot and almost died. Although that played a part in it for him and for Sam, but not the biggest part. She says, then what is it? and he says, Sonny stopped by his place today. They got talking about father/son stuff, then Sonny mentioned Dex Heller. She says, in what context? and he says, in the context that other cops, maybe even her, will believe what Dex has to say about Sonny’s business, but not him because he would know better. She asks what he took that to mean, and he says he took it to mean Sonny thinks they shouldn’t believe anything that Dex has to say about his business. She asks if Sonny asked him to do anything else, other than not believe what Dex might say, and he says, not immediately, but that’s not going to be the end of it for Sonny. He’s going to come back and then he’s going to ask what Dex said. She says, assuming Dante would have access to anything Dex disclosed. If Sonny asked, would Dante tell him? Dante says, not a chance, but Sonny laying this groundwork… This line has gotten really blurry between what he does as a cop and what he does as a son. He’s always tried to build this wall between certain parts of their lives. Sonny was on one side, and he was on the other side, and they could co-exist. She says, that seemed to be working in the past, and he tells her that what she said at Chase’s bachelor party really hit home for him, and he has thought about what Dex working for the PCPD could mean for his father, information that he could pass on. And he hates that the thought crossed his mind. She says, he’s being really hard on himself. Aside from his remarkable recovery just now, he’s only human. He says, but he’s a cop, and she says, a damn fine one too. And worrying about something isn’t the same as interfering or intervening or sharing intel. He says, no – he takes out his badge – but to him, it sure seems like he’s betraying everything this badge stands for, so it’s got to end. He puts his badge on her desk.

Sonny wonders if he can ask Natalia what has her stuck in her own thoughts, and she says, it’s her daughter. He says he has more than one, so he’s stuck in his thoughts a lot. She laughs and says she just has one, and that one is a full-time job. And a thankless one a lot of times. He says he knows what that’s about, and she says, he didn’t have an argument with Kristina, did he? He says, no. He gets along great with Kristina. He can’t say the same about his ex. She says, nothing worse than a fight with your ex, because you loved each other once, so they know how to hurt you and exactly where to aim it. He says he and his ex share the same daughter that he was talking about earlier. His daughter’s young so she still likes him. Natalia laughs and says, enjoy that while he can. He says, the other thing is, he’s bipolar. His ex was instrumental in getting him diagnosed and recovery. Natalia says, so she’s not all bad, and he says, that was then. Now she’s using it against him.

Alexis tells Diane that Molly and TJ have been nudging Kristina about what she eats, when she sleeps, and how worked up she gets. Diane says, surrogacy can be challenging for everyone involved, even when everyone’s being respectful and well-behaved, and Alexis says, but all Molly and TJ have to do is watch it and wait, and they are both very bad at it. On the other hand, for the most part, Kristina is doing everything a pregnant woman should do. Diane asks what the lesser part has been up to, and Alexis says, thinking the baby is hers. Diane says she’s had some experience with surrogacy, just from the legal side, and she knows whoever is carrying the child experiences a wide assortment of emotions, not the least of which is possessiveness. Alexis says, otherwise, you might as well be an incubator or a test tube, and Diane says, but what Kristina is feeling is different? Alexis tells her, Kristina said she was falling a little in love with the baby, and when it kicks, she goes, that’s my little kicker. It’s not what she says; it’s the energy behind it. And it’s problematic for the role she has. Diane says, has anyone – for instance Alexis – broached the subject with her? and Alexis says, yes, and she got mad. Diane says, that’s also understandable. Alexis says, it’s understandable for now, but as this evolves, they’ll see what happens, because this could be disastrous for her family. Diane says, could be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be. But Kristina did supply the egg. It’s not a third party donor. Therefore, in the eyes of the State of New York… Alexis says, the baby is legally Kristina’s.

There’s a knock at Kristina’s door, and Blaze says she’ll get it. Molly is there and says she didn’t know Blaze was going to be here. She could come back… Kristina says, no. Come on in. They were actually just about to have dinner. Molly should join them. They’re having a meal of organic kale washed ten times by nuns, with a side of polyunsaturated yogurt. (Ha-ha-ha!) Sound good? Molly says, that’s why she did something she almost never does. Just walked out of the office in the middle of the afternoon. She had to see Kristina. She hates the way they left things this morning.

Molly says she wanted to tell Kristina that she talked to TJ. She told him that micromanaging every aspect of Kristina’s life is out of line and has to stop. Kristina says, she told him that? and Molly says she did. Telling her what to eat and when to sleep is not okay. She’s a total control freak and even she would hate that. Kristina thanks her, and Molly says, she’s welcome. Kristina is her sister, not an anonymous egg donor. She loves Kristina and trusts her. Blaze asks if there’s any chance they could have some version of this conversation with her mom, and Molly says, sure. Can it wait until tomorrow though? She took the rest of the afternoon off and she thinks she may do something crazy and see if TJ can get the afternoon off. Maybe go for a drink or see a movie. Kristina says, wow. She appreciates Molly talking to TJ. Does this mean she doesn’t have to do so with her dad?

Natalia says, it’s really brave of Sonny to be so open about his bipolar disorder. She doesn’t really know him, but she really wouldn’t have expected anything less. He says he appreciates that and he knows how important it is for him to stay on his medication. But now his ex has reached a point where she doesn’t give him the benefit of the doubt about anything. Natalia asks if she gave him a reason, but he says, no. Just excuses. She says, those are two very different things, and he says, this is a really great bench, but it doesn’t really offer any refreshments. Does she want to go have a drink with him? She says she’d be delighted. She thinks she’s getting the better part of that deal.

Anna tells Dante that she wasn’t there for Robin at a very crucial point in her life and Sonny was. Robin depended on him, and he was there for her. She thinks her gratitude for that morphed into a kind of bias, always in his favor, no matter what the circumstances. She doesn’t think she realized how much, but whatever debt she thought she owed his father, she thinks now is paid in full. She guesses she was waiting for him to come to the same conclusion. He says he doesn’t know if he’s there yet. So she sees why he has to resign. She says, then what? and he asks what she means. She says, one day, Sonny comes to his door and needs a favor. Without that badge, how does he justify refusing his father? How does he make sure that he and his family don’t just get dragged into Sonny’s orbit? He says he’s a grown man. He’s set boundaries… She says, come on. After a while, they become blurry, boundaries, especially in families. He could move. He says he’s not moving. His family is rooted here. Their lives are here. She says, so is his. His life is here. He didn’t use this badge to protect Sonny. This badge protected him from Sonny and the toxic cloud that follows him around. In short, she doesn’t think he can afford to resign.

Sonny comes into the penthouse with Natalia, and Ava asks how he is. He seems better. He says he is, and introduces them. He says, Ava is his daughter Avery’s mother, and Natalia says, not the ex he was talking about in the park, but he says, no. She’s here to help out. Natalia says, he doesn’t have any nannies? and he says he has a couple of them. Ava says she’s not one of them, and Sonny says, Ava knows Blaze, the singer? Ava says, Kristina’s girlfriend? and he says, yeah. She’s a rising star and guess what? Natalia’s her mother. Ava says, how nice. Congratulations. Sonny says, they saw each other in the park, and they were just talking. He thinks it’s time to crack open that 25-year-old scotch that he imported. Ava says he’ll get it, and he asks her to pour a glass for Natalia. He happens to know she likes scotch every so often. Natalia and Sonny laugh.

Molly says she and Kristina will probably never see eye to eye on Sonny. It’s not personal. She’s an ADA and it’s her job not to ignore who he is. Kristina says, and it’s literally her job as his daughter not to ignore him as her father, and Molly says she’s not asking Kristina to, but it’s public record where Sonny goes, danger follows. Kristina asks if Molly honestly thinks her father poses a threat to Molly’s baby, and Molly says she doesn’t. And she promises that TJ will stop making it an issue. Kristina says, good luck with that, and Blaze puts her hand on Kristina’s shoulder. Molly thanks Blaze for being there for her sister throughout all this. It means a lot that she has someone who cares for her as much as Blaze does. She deserves it. Blaze says she thinks so too, and Molly says she’ll see them later. Kristina thanks her for coming here and saying what she did. It can’t have been easy after what happened this morning. She appreciates it. It’s just another one of the reasons why she loves Molly. They hug.

Diane asks if Kristina at least has a contract with Molly and TJ, and Alexis says, yes. And she told both the girls that this will never hold up in court. Diane says, she’s right. It won’t. Alexis says she’s probably overreacting. This is probably just hormonal and natural during pregnancy, and when this is all said and done, the haze will lift, and she will be thinking clearly. Diane says, it’s possible, and Alexis says, very unlikely that this will come down to a point of law and she’s worrying for no reason other than she’s very good at it. Diane says, when it comes to worrying, Alexis is peerless. However, she’d be a sorry excuse for a best friend if she didn’t give Alexis some advice. On one hand, she’s never been through anything like this, but on the other hand, not being personally invested does give her some objectivity. And that’s what Alexis needs right now, objectivity. Alexis says, go ahead. She’s braced. Diane says, stay out of it. If her daughters want legal opinions, send them to other lawyers. Because the worst-case scenario is, she could cause one of her daughters to lose a child and in the process, she could lose that daughter.

Dante says he doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to do, and Anna says, just do what he’s been doing. If he sees a file with Sonny’s name on it, ignore it. If they mention him, walk away. If something crosses his desk pertaining to his father, notify her, and she’ll reassign it. He says, yeah, and she says, maybe they need to look beyond that to other situations that might involve Sonny. So if a case or an incident, even a rumor sounds like it might lead back to his father, then Dante has to tell her. And if events are moving too fast, hand it off to Chase or Bennet or the desk sergeant. Whatever he does, he can’t put himself in a situation where he’ll be compromised, or he’ll compromise himself. Is that clear? He says, all right, and she says she thinks he’s exactly where he should be. In fact, she thinks it’s the only safe spot for him. So he’s staying. Understood?

Sonny asks if Natalia’s whole family is in the music industry or just Blaze, and she says, her whole family is musical, but her son is an extraordinary musician. He’s amazing. But for right now, it’s just Ally – Blaze – who’s actively pursuing a career in music. He says he knows how difficult it is to break into the music business, when Ava comes up behind him. He asks Natalia to excuse him, and she steps away. He asks if Ava doesn’t need to make some calls about the gallery. Does she know what he means? She says she believes she does, and leaves. Sonny joins Natalia on the balcony, and she raises her glass and says, to him, for turning a challenging day into a very pleasant one. They clink glasses, and he says he could say the same to her. She says, it’s funny. She’s walked past this building so many times and admired it, but this view is more spectacular than she imagined. Has he been here a long time? he says, since the 90s, and she says she doesn’t believe it. They walk back inside, and she says, it feels brand new. He says he’s redecorated a few times since then, and she says, amazing taste. He says he was thinking of making a change. He’d welcome her input. He thinks it needs a woman’s touch. She says, what about Ava? but he says, it’s not like that with him and Ava. They clink glasses again.

Tomorrow, Heather asks if Laura thinks she might have been a good mother; Drew asks if Willow has made a decision; Valentin says he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants; and Carly tells Jason that Sonny is in trouble.

Below Deck

Breakfast is served and the phones come out to take pictures. In Xandi’s interview, she says she loves Instagram, but not to that extent. That’s why she’s working on a boat. Kyle debates smashing a watermelon with his head. Why? Who knows? He ultimately decides against it. Chef Nick says he and Paris are going to be friends or she’ll hate him at the end of the season. Fraser tries to get Nick to put a cherry tomato garnish on the plates, but Nick refuses. Fraser says, it’s a disaster, overreacting just a tad. In Sunny’s interview, she says, it definitely feels more awkward working with Ben. She’s pretending everything is fine, but it’s a little difficult. In Barbie’s interview, she says, her family if from Argentina and they’re very modest. She’s close to her family, and her father’s opinion matters, but she’s an adult and she and Kyle like each other. There’s nothing bad about what they’re doing. Guest Zach says he did 50 dates in 50 nights, and it’s how he found his girlfriend. He had spreadsheets. Nick talks to himself in the galley, while the slide and water toys are brought out. No surprise, the guests take more pictures than they actually do anything.

Nick makes the crew lunch and Paris slathers hers with mayonnaise. Nick tells her that when she gets chubby and some guy breaks her heart, don’t come crying to him.😐She tells him that she’s been chubby, and she was still hot. You go, sister! In Paris’s interview, she says, Nick is weird as f***. Trust her. She’s burning the calories. Fraser is anxious to see guest Steven’s soaking wet body, and in his interview, he says, today is water sports, a light lunch, and the guests have requested a New Year’s Eve celebration. They hope to finish the meal at the stroke of midnight. It’s absurd, but it’s happening. Guest Stephanie asks Steven if he’s proposing to Fraser at midnight. Ben tells Kyle that he spoke to Barbie, and said Kyle’s been nothing less than a gentleman, and in Kyle’s interview, he says he likes Barbie a lot, but doesn’t know where they stand. They built it up and now it’s almost in the gutter. Why not make a go at it? It might be worth more than what her dad thinks of her.

Sunny is operating the crane, and Dylan brags about being a crane operator on a cargo ship and how he has a crane operator’s license. In his interview, Dylan says he would listen to podcasts, and learned he should surround himself with people he wants to be like. He’s doing his best and he’s super competitive. If you believe it, you can see it. At the bar, the guests and Barbie bug Steven about proposing to Fraser, and Barbie says she loves this love story. Where’s the mistletoe? Fraser joins them, and she asks what his ring size is and wonders what Steven looks like on his knees. In the crew mess, Barbie calls her sister, and says she can’t wait to be off the yacht. She asks her sister to try not be a massive bitch about what she’s going to say. She’s been going through sh*t the whole season, and this guy, Kyle, has been her rock. He’s into her, and vice versa, but because of dad, she wasn’t doing anything. Now they’ve become a thing. Her sister asks, what kind of thing? but Barbie says she doesn’t know how to define it. Her sister says, dad has his standards, and Barbie says, the heaviest thing is her letting dad down. Her sister says she should have thought about that before. Now it is what it is. And now I see why Barbie is such a mess. Barbie says she’s going to disappoint their dad, but she’s being herself and she likes this guy. In Barbie’s interview, she says, she respects her father, but more important than her family is her being her and it’s time for her to own it. Her sister says, in the end, the person who has to live with your decisions is you. What a philosopher. Did she get that off a fortune cookie? Fraser says, dinner is at 10, and they’re going to count down to New Year’s Eve 2023.5. Barbie asks if Fraser is giving Steven a New Year’s Eve kiss, and Paris tells Steven that this is the first step of the rest of his life. In Paris’s interview, she says she’s never wanted to hook up with a charter guest. All her guests have been in their 70s and 80s, and she’s not into crusty d*cks or d*cks that don’t work. Barbie teases Fraser and he says he’s going to try and fire her again. The deckhands lounge around wearing New Year’s Eve crowns, and Fraser tells the captain that there’s a malicious rumor on of the guests wants a New Year’s Eve kiss from one of the crew. Captain Kerry says, that’s sexual harassment, but Fraser asks, what if they’re actually keen? In the captain’s interview, he asks, when a tree falls, if no one’s around, does it make a noise? Fraser tells him that he thinks it will be just a peck. Everyone gets ready for the celebration, and in Nick’s interview, he says, the guests want surf and turf, which isn’t something he’d order in a restaurant. He doesn’t like mixing his fish and meat, but he’s got to give the guests what they want. Steven talks to Fraser, and in Fraser’s interview, he says he’s been single for five years. He’s been out of the game and thinks he’s lost it. If he can’t be seen without feeling exposed, that means he’s lost it. The décor is beautiful, silver and blue with a little bit of gold. Dylan listens to his affirmations: Your positivity is contagious… Dinner is served, and endless pictures are taken. In his interview, Fraser says he’s shocked. The presentation is horrific. An experience on a superyacht is overwhelming and magical, so it can be overseen. Paris tells Nick that the plates are lacking garnish, and in Nick’s interview, he says, she’s 22. She was sh*tting her bed when he was already a chef. Get back to cleaning sinks or scrub a toilet.

Paris suggests making cucumber stars, and Nick says, go back to the 80s. He serves the surf separately from the turf, and more pictures are taken. Steven is too hot in his gold lamé suit and needs someone to do the honors of taking his pants off. Needless to say, Fraser volunteers. In the galley, Nick says he feels like Paris hates him sometimes. I might be on board with her, but I don’t hate the chocolate fondant dessert he made with chocolate from the excursion. The guests get ready to count down and wave sparklers. Fraser says he’s going to give his husband a kiss, and it’s a peck, but a long peck. Everyone cheers and toasts to love. Barbie asks if Fraser liked it and he says, yeah, but he was hoping for a bit more . Barbie tells Kyle that she’s sorry. She didn’t want to own it because she was nervous about her dad, but she’s totally ready to own it now. They kiss, and Steven sends an Instagram message to Fraser, asking if they can sleep in the same bed, but Fraser sends a message back that it’s a fireable offense. Fraser checks out Steven’s Instagram and says, he used to be an absolute snack, but I would categorize him as still snackable. Fraser suggests Nick garnish with parsley at breakfast, but Nick thinks it’s tacky. In Nick’s interview, he says, it’s not about the pasta garnish. He knows they’re influencers and wonders if you can Yelp a private chef or a boat. As Nick makes smoked salmon eggs benedict – sobbing quietly into my tomato soup – he argues with Fraser. In Fraser’s interview, he says, Nick doesn’t want to take advice and doesn’t listen. He wants to run with how he feels, and it’s not up to Fraser’s level or the level of the ship. The boat docks, and in Captain Kerry’s interview, he says, it’s the best docking all season. He thinks he made a good decision, making Ben bosun and Ben making Sunny lead deckhand. I’m sure Dylan would disagree, thinking he could handle both roles.  

Port Louis Marina. Dylan admires his own abs, and Barbie tells Sunny that she likes Kyle, but wasn’t owning it. She is now. She and Sunny high-five. The guests get ready to leave, and there are hugs and goodbyes. Primary Alex tells Captain Kerry that the tip is well-deserved, from the family dishes and the Feast of the Seven Fishes. They’ve built relationships and friendships. He hugs the captain, and says, goodbye, friends. He’ll always remember his first STD. The guests leave, a little work is done, and it’s time for the tip meeting. Captain Kerry welcomes Nick and says, there was great energy, and the guests felt the synergy of the team. The tip is $23K or $1769 each. Frankly, I expected more. The captain tells the crew, well done, and in Nick’s interview, he says his dad was a chief engineer and retired at 50. When he’s 50, he imagines making snacks at a café on a beach in Nicaragua. Captain Kerry calls Fraser to the bridge, and says, it’s a new environment with Nick. Fraser says he doesn’t want to speak too soon, but he’s underwhelmed. Nick has zero presentation and he’s not friendly. It’s his way or no way. The captain says he feels that Fraser doesn’t want to be as helpful as he was with Anthony, and in his interview, Fraser says, the chef isn’t communicating and not allowing them to work well. He’s at loose ends and doesn’t know what to do. The chef is the problem, not him. The captain says he feels a different energy from Fraser since Nick got here.

Captain Kerry says they need to support Nick and respect how he does his food. He’s noticing how Fraser is reacting and that means the staff is noticing. In his interview, the captain says, it’s not the same Fraser and he doesn’t understand. Fraser no longer has the same areas of concern, and he needs to shift or it’s going create a disaster. He tells Fraser that the guests were happy, and they’ll see if it’s better on the next charter. In Fraser’s interview, he says he needs to give Nick what he needs when he needs it, even if it’s a load of sh*t. He doesn’t think it will make Nick better, but he needs to do what the captain asked. Fraser tells the stews that he’s been naughty and giving his opinions. They only have one more charter, and even if the plate looks like a canteen lady slopped it on, they need to adapt. Paris says, Nick makes unnecessary comments, and we flash back to his judgement of her mayonnaise love. Fraser says, be as positive and helpful as they can, and they have a group hug.

Captain Kerry calls Fraser, Nick, and Ben for a preference sheet meeting, and tells them that there’s no turnaround day because it’s a short charter. The primaries are Marine and Rob, who are accustomed to butler service on vacation. They’re bringing son Bobby and his girlfriend Edith, daughter Sarah and her friend Chloe, and youngest daughter Kate and her friend Daley. Nick reads that they want a beach picnic with sushi, and Ben reads that they want a Dressed To Kill/Casino Royale party. Captain Kerry tells Nick to work on presentation. The crew gets ready to go out, and Ben tosses his head like a circus pony, admiring his own hair. Bleh. They teleport to a restaurant, since suddenly they’re there. I guess the taxi ride was too boring to show. In Fraser’s interview, he says he got a message from Steven. Steven is leaving tomorrow, and he deserves this. Paris tells him to message back, since they’re going to a club. Nick explains how he bought a Chanel bag for his girlfriend, and when they broke up, he refused to let her have it. In Nick’s interview, he says, crazy works for him with a woman as long as they don’t try to strangle him in his sleep. I dunno. If I was him, I’d be worried about the not-so-crazy women wanting to strangle him as well. Ben hangs on Sunny, and in her interview, she says, it’s confusing. What is he doing? Why? What does it mean? Is he just stirring the pot? They go to a club, do shots, and dance. In Ben’s interview, he says, once Xandi is off the pinot, she’s over the edge. Xandi falls off a table, and Ben says, she’s just Xandi, their baby giraffe. Steven joins them, and Fraser says he’s literally obsessed. Steven says, same, and they kiss.

Fraser says he didn’t realize Steven was gay until halfway through the cruise. Really? He needs to have his gaydar antenna adjusted or something. In his interview, Fraser says, it’s the first time in a long time that he’s had a crush on someone who felt similar. It’s quite exciting. Kyle says he likes how he and Barbie are so different, and in Barbie’s interview, she says she’s not holding back, but public affection is new to her. She’s trying to be more open, and it feels good as long as they’re not overdosing, and no one is making it a thing. Dylan cheers and tries to give Barbie and unwelcome kiss. The crew goes back to the boat, and Ben kisses Sunny on deck. He asks if they’re sharing a bed, and she says, sure, because there must be something wrong with her. In Sunny’s interview, she says, they’ve been flirting all night. They’re not married or in a relationship, but they have chemistry and fire, so why not? Nick digs around in the refrigerator for drunk food and gives some to Dylan. In bed with Kyle, Barbie says, they’re opposites, and in her interview, she says, she’s falling for Kyle. In Kyle’s interview, he says, he’s falling in love with Barbie and thinks they could have a future. He’s vulnerable and wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Next time, Ben wonders if hooking up with a guest will get them fired; Nick says, Paris is overtaking his job; Captain Kerry meets with Fraser and Nick. He says he doesn’t give a sh*t if they like one another. There’s one charter left and there’s no way he’s letting it fall to sh*t.

👠 Holding My Nose…

For the brave souls who need to know.

And what is Rachel wearing? Is that a dress that’s supposed to look like two dresses? WTF?

👗 It’s the Most Fashionable Night Of the Year…

This pretty much has it all about the gala and the fashion. I love the theme, and it actually seems like there are fewer hideous creations.

https://people.com/met-gala-2024-full-recap-8643790

She’s beautiful and needs to stop reading nasty comments from people who are living in their grandmother’s basement at age 32, hiding behind the anonymity of the internet.

https://people.com/lizzo-met-gala-2024-red-carpet-photos-8640432

🛀 Don’t Small the Sweat Stuff…

Join me tomorrow for soap and a VanderFinale. Until then, stay safe, stay dressing for the occasion, and stay not letting gratitude morph into bias.