What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the PC Grill bar, Lucy asks if Scotty has started sweeping Tracy off her feet yet, and he says he has Tracy right where he wants her. At a nearby table, Laura says, it looks like Lucy got waylaid by Scotty, but Martin says he’s not bothered. He’s already given Lucy plenty of reason to tear his ticket ever since that nonsense with the alimony. Doc says, the ex-wife from hell? and Martin says, none of them is particularly gentle or easy going, but #3 really puts the other two to shame, hence the imbroglio with the alimony payments. But at the end of the day, his lovely Lucy decided to trust him. She believes in him, and he thinks he should extend the same grace to her when it comes to her exes. No? Doc says, he could…

Tracy comes into the living room and says she was watching the countdown and heard shouting. What happened? Brook says, her mom and Olivia got into it, and Tracy says, that’s terrible. Does that mean her mother will be leaving town as a result? Brook says, subtle, and Tracy’s phone dings several times. Brook says, she’s blowing up. Who’s texting her? Tracy says, no one, and it dings again. Brook says, obviously someone, but Tracy says, it’s not important. Brook asks why she’s being so cagey, and picks up Tracy’s phone. Tracy says, give her that, but Brook scrolls through the texts and says, Scott Baldwin? What business does she have with that guy?

An assistant helps Ava with some paintings in the gallery back room, and says, some fundraiser she organized. Ava says, it’s always good to have something to do on New Year’s Eve, isn’t it? and thanks the assistant for her help. She asks Sonny’s guard to walk the assistant to her car. She’s going to put these away, so there will be less for Trina to do tomorrow. The assistant offers to stay, but Ava says, it’s late. She should go. The guard asks if Ava doesn’t want to go home too, but she says she likes to keep busy. And she doubts Sonny and Nina want her back at the house anytime soon. The assistant leaves with the guard, while someone walks through the alley behind the gallery.

At The Savoy, Sonny asks Michael, who is it? as Nina and Willow come down the stairs. Sonny asks, who turned Michael’s mother in to the SEC? and Michael says, it was Nina. Sonny turns around, and Willow asks, what’s going on? Michael suggests they give Nina and his dad some privacy, but Sonny asks, why? It’s all out in the open. It was her? Nina is the one who went to the SEC and ratted on Carly and Drew?

Carly looks at a photo of her and Bobbie, and flashes back to telling Bobbie that she’s taking the last name of Spencer if it’s okay with her, and Bobbie saying, it’s more than okay. It’s as it should be. Drew comes in on the phone, and says, let him know if there’s anything he can do… He certainly will. He asks how Carly is holding up, and she says she can’t believe Bobbie is gone. She can’t believe she’s never going to see her mom again.

Brook says she wouldn’t have pegged Scott Baldwin and Tracy as texting buddies, and Tracy says, stop doing that. Brook says, what? and Tracy says, using his full name. Brook says, sorry. What’s the deal with the two of them? Tracy says, there is no deal. He texted her the other day, out of the blue, to ask her about her New Year’s plans. Naturally, she assumed it was for someone else. Then he texted her again, then she responded, and now the floodgates are open apparently. Brook says, if she doesn’t want to hear from him, just tell him to back off. Or better yet, why doesn’t she block him? Unless Lucy was right and she really is lonely. Tracy says, Lucy Coe is never right about anything ever, but Brook says, it’s no big deal to have a friend you text with every now and then. She scrolls some more and says, this is a lot more than now and then. Wow. Scotty texts her a lot. Tracy says, see what she means? Floodgates. Brook laughs, and Tracy wonders what she’s laughing at. Brook says, granny, Scotty’s flirting with you.

Scotty tells Lucy that he’s been texting with Tracy since he ran into her at the Home & Heart show. It’s been going very well. He thinks he’s actually flirting with her. Lucy asks if he’s not going a little bit fast, and he says he thought she’d be happy. She says, yeah, but they kind of agreed to go slow. Woo her slowly, so she’s not suspicious, and build into the suggestion of going to Vegas. Because he wants to entertain her with the lights and the water fountains and the gondola ride through the Venetian, and then maybe a really elegant dinner and then a nightcap. Then shots, edibles, and the next thing you know, Elvis is officiating, and what’s hers is ours. He says, Luke Spencer tricked Tracy into marrying him during a drunken weekend in Las Vegas. He doubts Tracy is going to fall for that again. Lucy says she’s known Tracy for decades, and she has the habit of making the same mistakes. Scotty says, then he guesses they have that in common.

Drew holds Carly as she cries, and she asks, how’s Lucas? Drew says, he’s shocked and devastated, like her. He told Lucas that he’d use his contacts to bring her mom back with as little red tape as possible. She thanks him, and he says he just wishes there was more he could do. She says, oh my God. Her mom always hated to fly. She almost never did it by herself, and now she’s going to be alone. No one is going to be there to hold her hand when the plane hits bumps, right? She puts her face in her hands and cries. She tells Drew that she keeps saying her, but that body coming home to them, that’s not her mom anymore, is it? Okay, they can stop stomping on my heart any time now. Like, just hit us with all of it when we already have the post-holiday blues.

Nina says she’s so, so sorry, and Sonny says, at least she’s not denying it. She says, what’s the point? and Willow says, wait. This is actually true? She’s the one who turned in Carly and Drew? She’s the one who put this whole nightmare in motion? Nina says she can explain. At least she can try to… Willow says, don’t come near her, and Nina says, okay. She tells Sonny that she needs him to understand that she was on her way here to… He says he doesn’t want to hear any excuses. He just wants to know why. Does Nina hate the mother of his children so much that she would want to send her to prison out of spite?

Nina says she didn’t tip off the SEC out of pure spite. That was part of the reason, but not fully. Does he remember how sick Willow was last spring when all of this happened? They almost lost her, and the whole time, Carly knew she was Willow’s mother, and if she would have come forward sooner, Aunt Liesl would have been able to donate her bone marrow… Willow tells Nina, don’t dare make this about her, but Nina says, the fact is, she spent years – years – searching for her daughter. And at that moment, she thought she was losing Willow when she first found her. Sonny says, and that made her angry. He gets it, but it doesn’t explain why she roped Michael and Ned into this situation. (Um… didn’t they rope themselves into it?) Willow says, what? and Sonny says he’s sorry, but Michael says, it’s okay. Willow says, he knew? and he says, yeah. She says, for how long? and he says he found out when they were Puerto Rico for the wedding. She says, that was months ago, and he said nothing. She can’t. She walks out and Michael follows her. Nina starts to go too, but Sonny says, she’s done more than enough damage, doesn’t she think?

Drew says, Carly’s mom’s not in her body anymore. She’s everywhere. She’s always going to be with the people she loved. Carly says she has to call Michael and Josslyn before they hear it from someone else. She picks up her phone and says, they’re going to be so upset. He says, they’re going to be upset. They’re going to be devastated, but they’re going to have her to help them get through it. And she’s going to have them. As far as letting them know, when he spoke to her brother, he said he’s only going to let family know now and will tell everybody that she hasn’t had a chance to reach her kids yet. So if she wants to take some time to let everything, what she’s feeling, let it process… She says she doesn’t even know what that is, and he says, that’s okay. It’s going to take time to let it all sink in. She says she doesn’t want it to sink in, and he says he’s so sorry. She says, her mind just keeps racing, and she keeps thinking about the past few months, questioning everything. He says, like what? and she says, what if she had done something different, anything different, that her mom would still be here with them.

Brook opens the door to Chase, and says, yay. He’s back. She kisses him and says, he can finish that bottle of champagne with her. Or they could even open another one. He says, they can just stick with the first one, and she asks if everything is okay. They called him in on New Year’s Eve. He says, the senior detective on duty had to go out on a call. They needed someone to fill in. All he did was sit in the squad room filling out paperwork. She says she wishes she’d tagged along with him instead of staying here, and he says, it was that bad? She heaves a huge sigh and says she loves her mom. She’s awesome, but she’s not perfect. He says, awesome and perfect are two different things, and she says, her mom gets caught up in being right sometimes and it crosses the line into being righteous. That happened twice tonight. He asks if Brook could have stopped her, and she says, no. She didn’t even find out about both situations until after, but let’s face it, the only reason her mom is here is because of her. He says, here’s what he knows about her mother; nobody tells Lois Cerullo what to do. She makes her own choices and her own mistakes. It seems like she made one or two of those tonight, but that’s on her, not Brook. Brook says she knows. She just feels bad. He asks if it would make her feel better if they snuggled on the couch and finished off that bottle of champagne, and she says, definitely. He says, let’s do it. He’s not on call for a couple of days. She says, wait. Granny’s in there flirting with Scott Baldwin. He says, Baldwin’s here? and she says, flirting by text. They go into the living room and Tracy says, Scotty is not flirting with her. Brook snatches the phone from her and gives it to Chase, saying, read these. Tracy says, that’s the second time tonight. Is there no privacy?

Ava hears someone come in and says, that was quick. She’s almost done here. She turns around and gasps. A man puts his hand over her mouth.

Ava asks what Nikolas is doing here, and he says, surprised? He imagines she would be, given the last time they saw each other, she knocked him unconscious and left him for dead. She says she knew from Laura that he was alive and well, depositing and withdrawing all over Europe. Good trip? He says, she sounds angry, and she says she’s so far beyond angry. He says, her? He’s the one she almost killed that night. If anyone has a right to be livid, it’s him. She tells him that Sonny’s guard is right outside that door. If he tries to get his revenge, or whatever the hell he’s doing here, she’ll scream. He says, let ‘er rip. No one will hear her.

Brook asks what Chase thinks, and Chase says, he’s flirting. Brook thanks him, and Tracy asks how he knows. He says, it’s the exclamation points. There’s too many too often. Brook says, Scotty B’s got a thing for Tracy, and laughs. Tracy says, the only thing Scotty B’s got a thing for is a money clip, and Brook asks if she didn’t hear they had a romance back in the day. Tracy says, if by romance she means a brief regrettable dalliance, then yes. It was one for the ages. She fans herself, and Chase says, they can all agree Scotty is an acquired taste. Tracy says, understatement, and Chase suggests they just say for the sake of argument, he’s interested in her. Would she be interested back? Tracy says her standards are exponentially higher than Scott Baldwin, and Brook says, oh yeah. Mitch, Gino, Paul, Anthony, Luke… Tracy says, do not mention Luke’s name in conjunction with those other men, and Brook says, despite her and Tracy’s differences – Tracy says, of which there are many – she really does want Tracy to be happy. She’s not saying Tracy should lower her standards, but it wouldn’t kill her to get out there a little bit and have some fun once in a while. Tracy tells her, sez who?

Lucy says, is Scotty kidding her? Didn’t she tell him about exclamation points? He’s supposed to be playing it cool. Act interested, but not too interested. Available… He says, but not too available, and she says, exactly. He doesn’t want to appear desperate. What else has he been texting Tracy? She looks through his phone.

Laura suggests they take a picture, and Doc says, his wife is into selfies. Who knew? She says, Jordan was telling her that she should up her social media presence, so how about a picture with her husband and favorite brother? Martin says, only if she gets his good side, and she tells them, squeeze in. Doc takes the photo, and Scotty and Lucy are clearly in the background. Laura looks at it and says, nice. She’d say that’s perfectly postable. Martin says, they’ll have to forgive him. He warned Lucy that he has to make a business call. He has a client in Singapore where it’s already tomorrow, so he’s saying good evening and happy New Year. He blows Lucy a kiss and leaves. Doc says, it’s never a good sign when Lucy and Scotty have their heads together, and Laura’s phone rings. She says, Lucas Jones? That’s strange. She answers, and says, why? What’s wrong?…

Lucy asks if Scotty doesn’t know what that means, and he says he thought it was just a colorful emoji. She says, he’s absolutely hopeless, and they both turn to see Laura on the phone. They get up and go to the table, hearing Laura thank Lucas for letting her know. And again, she’s so sorry. Scotty asks if something is wrong, and Laura says, yes. That was Lucas Jones. She tells Scotty that she’s so sorry, but Bobbie died.

Carly says she knows this is going to sound ridiculous, but Drew says, tell him anyway. She says, when her mom told her that she was going to leave, it was right after Michael and Willow’s wedding. She can’t explain it, but she just knew Bobbie shouldn’t be going to handle Luke’s affairs on her own. She has a medical condition. But he knows her mom; she always talks with such confidence. Drew says, and Carly believed her when she said she was okay, and Carly says, everything was okay for a while. She was happy when Tracy showed up to help her, but then she kept coming up with excuses to stay. Her mom was gone for months, and she just accepted it. She should have told her to come home. She should have told her that her family needed her. He says, Bobbie died peacefully in her sleep. She had no pain. She died knowing she was loved. Carly shouldn’t have any regrets. Carly says, but she does.

Sonny says, Willow’s going to be fine, and Nina says, will he? When she found out about the insider trading and tipped off the SEC, she regretted it immediately. He says, before or after she got Carly arrested? Donna’s mother could have been sent to prison. Scout’s father went to prison. She got her father back and Nina ripped her father away from her again. Nina says she wasn’t thinking about all that, and he says, she wasn’t thinking. Drew almost died. He got beaten up. She says she knows, and he says, an innocent man. She says, hold on a second. What she did was wrong, no question about that, but Carly and Drew did commit a crime. (I’ve said that all along, but now probably isn’t the time to be bringing it up.) They weren’t innocent. Anyone could have reported them. He says, anyone didn’t. She did. She says she knows. She did and it’s a lot for him to process, but like she said before, she was on her way here to tell him everything. He says he doesn’t believe her.

At Pier 54, Michael asks Willow to just give him a chance to explain, and she says, explain what? That he knew her own mother was lying to everyone, and he decided not to tell her? Not only that, he let Ned take the fall for what she did. How could he? He says he was trying to protect her, and she says, he’s as bad as Nina. Stop making this about her. He says, it’s true, and she says, guess what? She doesn’t need his protection. She’s not in isolation anymore. She’s not some wilting flower he needs to shield from the world. She’s healthy and strong and deserves his honesty, no matter how difficult it is to hear. He should have told her the truth right from the start. He says, like she told him the truth about her cancer diagnosis? She punches him in the face. Not really, but that would have been good.

Sonny guesses it doesn’t matter, because Nina did what she did and ruined people’s lives in the process. Nina says, everyone’s fine, and he says, physically, but not mentally. When Drew came back from Pentenville, he wasn’t the same. How could he be? She says she didn’t mean for that to happen, and he says, she keeps telling him that. He can’t even look at her right now. She reaches for him, but he tells her not to touch him. She said she’d never lie to him. He knows never is a long time, but she cracked pretty quick. She says she hated every second she kept him in the dark, but he says, not enough to come clean, right? She tells him not to throw away their life together because of one stupid mistake. She’s so sorry… He tells her to stop saying she’s sorry, and she says, but she is sorry. Deeply. Truly. He says, that’s all well and good, but he’s not the one who needs to hear it.

Drew asks Carly when she last talked to her mom, and she says, Christmas Eve. She called to wish her a merry Christmas, but they were late for the GH party, so she’s sure she rushed her mom off the phone so she could get out the door. He asks how she ended the call. When she got off the phone, what did she say? Carly says she told her mom to hurry back so they could ring in the New Year together, and he says, and before that? She says, Donna told Bobbie that she loved her, and she said that goes ditto for her. He says, that sounds like a beautiful phone call. He’s sure Bobbie left it knowing she was valued, knowing she was loved. Carly says, but if she’d known that was the last time she was going to talk to her, she would have told Bobbie how much she meant to her. She would have told Bobbie how much she respected her and looked up to her and would have told Bobbie how much her love and acceptance changed her. He says, she knew, and Carly says, if she had known, she’d have never gotten off the call. She would have stayed on that phone forever. He holds her as she cries.

Scotty says he just doesn’t believe it, and Laura wipes tears from her eyes and says, Lucas called her because he was trying to get Lucky’s phone number. She probably shouldn’t have said anything because she promised Lucas that she would let Carly tell her kids first. Scotty says, don’t worry. He won’t say anything. Lucy says she promises not to say anything. She and Bobbie might have had their differences, but Bobbie loved her family and Lucy always respected her for that. Lucy flashes back to after BJ died, and asking if she can give Bobbie a hug and maybe get one back, and them hugging. Laura says, she and Bobbie had their differences too – way, way back in the beginning. But then out of that, something really kind of special grew. Something she’ll cherish forever. She flashes back to thanking Bobbie and hugging her, and Bobbie saying, they’re family and always will be. She says, Bobbie was a sister to her, Luke or no Luke, and she loved her. Scotty says he loved her too. He still does.

Nikolas says, this room is soundproofed. Ava’s the one who told him that. He’s not here to hurt her. She says, stealing her daughter wouldn’t hurt her? and he says he was angry. She sided with Spencer and gave Spencer leverage to take his child. He wanted her to know what that felt like. She knows he wouldn’t have gone through with it. She says, does she? and he says he’d like to think so. They’ve both been through the wringer since that night. She says, he’s been keeping tabs on her, and he says, of course (🍷) he has. He’s sorry Austin lied to her. She asks if he killed Austin, and he says, what? She tells him, don’t look so surprised. They both know he’s adept at eliminating threats. So tell her, did he kill Austin? He says, no, and she asks if he was behind the notes and the gun and the offer on Windymere, but he says he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says, shockingly, she believes him. So why did he come back? He says, when he heard Austin was dead and Mason was in prison, it dawned on him that she wasn’t being watched anymore and he could approach her. She says, another grand plan to get what’s his? and he admits he has an ulterior motive, but it’s a sincere one. They haven’t had a chance to hash things out since the truth came to light. He wanted to tell her that he’s sorry. He caused her a lot of hurt and pain and he regrets it. She asks why she feels like there’s a massive but coming, and he says, but she has to admit, they were both played by Austin. She says, and sadly, that wasn’t the first time they were played.

Ava says, like most things in her life, it can all go back to Ryan, and Nikolas says, it makes him sick what Ryan did to them. Sending his daughter to seduce and manipulate Spencer. Ryan used his son to hurt the woman he loved, and he did love her. She says she loved him too, but even though Ryan and Esme were playing mind games with them, their real problems had nothing to do with them. He says, so she doesn’t think they’d still be together if Ryan and Esme hadn’t interfered? and she says she thinks they were always headed for heartbreak. Maybe sooner, maybe later, but she thinks it was inevitable. He says he disagrees, and she says, they lied to each other. He cheated on her. He says, because of them, what they did, and she says, could he please take some responsibility? Then he did the unforgivable. He threatened to take her daughter from her. There’s no coming back from that – ever. So yeah, they loved each other, but it was a sick and toxic love that never stood a chance because it was rotten at its core.

Tracy asks what Brook is doing to her phone, and Brook says she’s downloading the Gram onto it. Chase says, great idea, and Tracy says, the Gram? Oh yes, of course (🍷). She’s gone this long without succumbing to social media. Best she starts now. Brook says, that’s the spirit, and Tracy says she was being facetious. Brook says, so was she. See? She followed some people Tracy knows. Alexis, Felicia, Laura… Look at their posts. They’re all out having fun New Year’s Eve, while Tracy’s watching the ball drop at home. Chase says, alone, and Tracy says, we do not besmirch the memory of Dick Clark in this house, grabbing her phone back. Brook says she wasn’t besmirching anyone, and Chase tells Tracy that he thinks what Brook is trying to say is, it might be a good idea to get out more. Tracy says, you know what would be a good idea? If they get out of this house, her house. Brook says, it’s Monica’s house. Alan… Tracy says, stop. Don’t. Brook says she gets it, and tells Chase that she’s tired. She asks if he wants to go home, and she hugs Tracy, telling her, happy New Year. Tracy wishes Brook a happy New Year, and Brook says, they don’t know how much time they have left, any of them. They might as well use the time they have left to live a little. She and Chase leave.

Lucy says, they all loved Bobbie. Actually, even her. Scotty says, not the way he did. All those starts and stops. When they were great, they were really great. He just couldn’t make it last. He flashes back to being out to dinner with Bobbie and them agreeing they haven’t had so much fun since they can’t remember when. He says, maybe it was a love that wasn’t supposed to last, and Laura says, or maybe it was something deeper than that, a bond that can’t quite be put into words. Lucy says, his forever friend, and Scotty says, my forever friend. Doc says, that sounds like Bobbie, and Scotty agrees, it does.

Carly says she told her mom that she loved her all the time, but was it enough? and Drew asks, what else is there? She says she put her mom through hell. She came to town just to destroy her life. He says, she more than made up for it, and she says, her mom had every reason to never speak to her again, but she forgave her. He says, because Carly earned that forgiveness, but she says, it was Bobbie. She just loved unconditionally. He says, and that is very powerful, and she says, her mom taught her so much. She taught her how to be a good mom and how to be a good person and how to love and be loved. He takes her hand and says, then he owes Bobbie everything. She leans her head on his shoulder and looks at the photo.

Nina says she knows she owes Willow an apology, but Sonny says he’s not talking about Willow. And Nina does owe her an apology. He’s talking about Carly and Drew. He knows Drew is away, but Carly’s home. She says, he’s not suggesting she go to Carly’s right now, and he says, why not? She says, because it’s the middle of the night, and he says, so what? She says she sees, and he says, she sees what? She says, he doesn’t want her to go charging over to Carly’s because it’s the right thing to do. He wants her to go over there because he knows Carly will have no qualms about tearing into her because he can’t bring himself to do it, because he still loves her. He says, don’t tell him how to feel, and she says she knows she’s right. He says he’s not going to do this right now, and starts to leave. She says, this isn’t the end of them, and he turns. She says she won’t let it be, and he leaves.

Sonny goes to the church and kneels before the candles to pray.

Willow says she can’t believe Michael would throw that in her face, and he says he didn’t mean it like that. She says, well, that’s how it came off, and he says he’s sorry. What he’s trying to say is, he didn’t tell her about Nina because he was trying to protect her, the same way she was trying to protect him about her diagnosis. She says, he can’t even compare the two, but he says he can from the perspective that they were trying to prevent each other from being hurt. Now that she’s gotten closer to Nina, he knew it would hurt her more to find out what she did. He guesses he was just trying to spare her. She says, except she’s not a porcelain doll. In fact, she’s survived more than most people. He says, she’s right, and she says, he’s acting like she and Nina were snuggled up with all this mommy/daughter time. They didn’t get all that close. They couldn’t with him constantly canceling plans and avoiding family trips. Half the time, Nina couldn’t get close enough and half the time, she couldn’t be bothered. And every time her name would come up, he would get that look on his face. Not angry, just cold and unreadable. Because this wasn’t just about protecting her. There’s another reason he kept Nina’s secret, isn’t there?

Nikolas says he wishes things were different, and Ava says, so does she. He says he’s sorry he was so easily manipulated, and she says she’s sorry too, but unfortunately, they’re the only ones left to blame. Ryan is dead, and Esme is here physically, but her memory is not… What is he thinking? He says, Ryan Chamberlain got what he deserved, and she says, did he ever. He says, so what if they make sure Esme does too?

Tracy looks at the photo Laura took and says, what do we have here? She makes it bigger, sees Lucy and Scotty in the background, and smiles. She says, gotcha.

Scotty says, to Barbara Jean Spencer, the heart of Port Charles, and they lift their glasses. Doc says, heaven got a little more special tonight, and Scotty says, until I see you again, Bobbie. Laura says, to Bobbie, and they all repeat, to Bobbie. They clink glasses.

Drew says he’s going to call the embassy about bringing Bobbie home, and Carly thanks him. He leaves, and she looks at the photo again. There’s a knock at the door, and Carly opens it to Nina.

Tomorrow, Portia says she’s got big plans for 2024; Ava asks what Nikolas is planning to do to Esme; Laura tells Esme that she’s going to have to turn herself in; Nina say she has to tell Carly and Drew something; and Sonny says, tonight is not the night to be pushing him.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

After the first 10 minutes, I don’t think I can stomach this show again for another season. I love Garcelle, Sutton, and Crystal, who has shown more growth than all the other Housewives put together, but the others have worked my last nerve. Erika because she’s the meanest of the mean girls, Kyle because she’s a dimbulb who thinks she knows it all, and Dorit because she’s right behind Kyle in the dimbulb category. Any sympathy I had for the latter two was outweighed by their thoughtlessness and stupidity. Newbie Annemarie didn’t even give it a beat before coming in knowing it all, when she very clearly knows nothing. I’d hoped with LisaR gone and Erika having eaten some humble pie, things might change, but nope.

Moving on…

After Dorit displays her ignorance to Garcelle, she deflects by asking if Denise cleared things up with Erika, and then jets. Erika asks why Denise is upset, and Denice says, Erika insinuating her 14-year-old understood threesomes was beyond inappropriate. Erika says, children who have phones have access to everything, and Denise says, but Erika was talking about her kids. Erika says, Denise’s oldest daughter is on OnlyFans. Does Denise think she doesn’t know what it is? Denise says, that’s a low blow, and Erika asks if Denise thought she wouldn’t mention it and that she’d play nice. Denise says, she’s a mean woman, and Erika says, Denise asked for it. She shouldn’t act like a bitch. Denise says, Erika was the bitch, and Erika says, that was four years ago. Besides, she thinks it’s great. But she’s curious who’s more profitable, Densie or Sami? Denise says, Erika is unbelievable, and Erika agrees. In Kyle’s interview, she says, apparently, Lent is over. Denise says she didn’t want to fight, and Garcelle asks what she does want. Denise wonders what Erika got out of talking about her kids, and Erika says, when they were at Denise’s barbecue, they were all talking about sex stuff. Denise talked about her husband’s big d*ck. Denise says, not with kids at the next table, and in Sutton’s interview, she says she was there. We flash back and sad to say, Erika is right here, but Erika repeats that she’s right like 10,000 times. She says, they were all talking, but Denise singled her out. We flash back to Erika apologizing, and Erika tells Denise that she already apologized. Denise says, Erika is the one who brought it up, and Erika says she has nothing left for Denise. Denise can be and feel how she wants, but Erika has nothing left to say. They sip their tea and Erika says she didn’t want this fight, but Denise says, she did. She used it to deflect like she always does. She tells Erika to stop being condescending, and Erika says, there’s been no deflection when it comes to her life. Denise says, Erika didn’t know $20 million had been deposited into her account? and Erika says, it wasn’t. The government proved that. Let me just interject here. That in itself might be a deflection. Erika may be telling the truth about that $20 million, but she doesn’t strike me as a dummy who couldn’t have possibly known her husband wasn’t dirty dealing. Kim, who looks like she might fly out a window, can’t leave fast enough, and Denise says, Erika hit below the belt. Erika says, Denise had her chance, failed, then failed again. The conversation is over. In Erika’s interview, she says, don’t come for her when you’re on OnlyFans for $7. She does want to know what Denise makes though. Erika leaves, and Kyle says, family should be off-limits, Garcelle asks why she didn’t say that when Erika brought up Denise’s daughter? and Kyle makes the lame excuse that she was letting them talk it out, then says, why didn’t anyone stand up for her when she was questioned about her ring? Kind of like comparing apples and diamonds, but in Kyle’s interview, she says, where has anyone been when she needed them? If it’s every man for himself, they’re going to play that way across the board. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she didn’t defend Kyle when Sutton questioned her because she was also curious about Kyle’s marriage. It seems like a lifestyle change. It’s weird. Garcelle and Denise leave, and in Crystal’s interview, she says she thought Erika changed, but seeing her talk like this, it’s the old Erika coming back. You can’t say stuff like that. Talking about the kids is going too far. As Sutton leaves, Kyle tells her not to make out with her driver.

Sutton talks to her fish, Avi Jr., and says she sounds like a crazy person, but I’m pretty sure most of us talk to our pets. Dorit consults daughter Phoenix on accessories, and Erika comes by. Dorit asks, what happened after she left? and Erika says, the Denise of it all. She went on about her children and how she’s mad about something from four years ago. So Erika asked, who made more money on OnlyFans, her or her daughter? Dorit laughs, which irritates the f*** out of me, and in Erika’s interview, she says, Denise wanted a fight and picked a fight. Here it is. And then, oh my God, she’s evil. She laughs and says, and Denise is dumb. She asks Dorit what she and Garcelle got heated over.

Garcelle calls Sutton, who says she’s an emotional person and didn’t like seeing Garcelle’s face the other night. Garcelle says she was messed up after that. She cried herself to sleep and woke up not any better after Dorit said she’d attacked her. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she’d hoped those in her group would know better, and tells Sutton that she didn’t lunge at or grab Dorit. She did nothing that would be considered attacking. In her interview, Garcelle says, Dorit doesn’t get her or know her world and doesn’t care to. She’s in her bubble with rainbows and unicorns everywhere. Sutton says she loves how Garcelle went after Dorit’s privilege. She lives in a bubble.

Dorit tells Erika that she needs time to process, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she didn’t mean any connotation or to trigger or offend. She wonders how to approach this, and tells Erika that for every step forward, she and Garcelle take a step back. In Erika’s interview, she says she doesn’t think Dorit is malicious. When she knows better, she does better. She’s sure Dorit feels terrible. Erika tells Dorit to talk to Garcelle.

Alessandra visits Sutton, who’s waiting for her report card from her date. Alessandra says, Sutton got good feedback from Sal, and asks how it went. Sutton says, it started slow, then loosened up. They talked about his mother. We flash back to Sal going on and on about his mom, and Alessandra says, Sal generally had a great time. When asked about Sutton’s positive qualities, he said she seemed like a great mom. Alessandra is all, aww! and Sutton says, this is the worst thing she’s ever done. She’s literally dying. Alessandra says, when asked if he was captivated, bored, or somewhere in between, Sal said, captivated. When asked if Sutton made him laugh, he said, she didn’t come across as someone who made a lot of jokes. Sutton says, he didn’t see her funny side, and Alessandra says, he probably thought she wasn’t into him (and he’d be right). She suggests they go over indicators of interest and asks if Sutton is comfortable giving a compliment. In Sutton’s interview, she says, men are flattered by anything. They’re like big babies that walk around the earth. And now that she’s said that, she’ll never get a date. Alessandra says, Bachelor S is a VP of sales. She could set Sutton up with billionaires, but they’re insane. Sutton says, a billionaire would suit her just fine, but Alessandra insists she’ll have an amazing time.

Kim visits Kyle and notices her hummingbird necklace. In Kyle’s interview, she says, after their mom passed away, she had weird incidents with hummingbirds. When she and Kim had that big fight back in the limo – we flash back to that – the next day, she went into the kitchen of her old house and found a hummingbird on the floor. She started crying and asked her mom what to do. Was the bird dead? If so, did it come back to life? This is unclear. She gives Kim the necklace, and they discuss Whitney and Farrah’s weddings. Kim says she doesn’t want anyone at Whitney’s wedding who’s not in a good place, and Kyle asks if Kim thinks she’s wrong about Kathy. In her interview, Kyle says, when Kathy apologized for Aspen – we flash back to that – she wanted to accept it and move on, but it was her behavior afterward. We flash back to their weird interaction at the Reunion, and Kim says she loves both of them and wants it to work, especially since they have the weddings coming up. In Kyle’s interview, she says, if Kathy took accountability and was genuine, she’d be open to it, but she’s not willing to be mistreated. She tells Kim that Kathy can’t have a conversation. Kathy gets mean, and she can’t handle that. We flash back to the Reunion again, and Kyle tells Kim that it freaked her out when she was little. Kim says she doesn’t like it either, and in her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t do well in chaos. Growing up, it felt like chaos. There were big personalities. Her mom was great, but had a fiery Irish Aries temper. That’s why her home is peaceful and calm. There’s no fighting or yelling ever. And here I thought it was all the weed. Kim says, if Kyle doesn’t try… and Kyle asks why Kathy doesn’t try. She created the disaster. Kim says she doesn’t know who wants to try, but she thinks it’s silly and mom never wanted this kind of stuff. She was about sticking together. People come and go, but family stays. After Kim worked on herself, she understood why their mom did the things she did. She lived her life for them. Kim cries and says she loves mom. She didn’t know how angry she was growing up. She thinks Kyle and Kathy love each other, and Kyle should think about why Kathy does certain things. Maybe there’s something underlying. Kyle says she’s scared to let Kathy back in, and Kim says, she’s setting boundaries. When she asked Kathy about it, Kathy asked what Kyle had to say. She thinks they both have to want it. Well, yeah. That one didn’t take a rocket scientist.

As usual, Crystal is cooking, this time for Passover seder. Rob has the kids explain seder, and in Crystal’s interview, she says, Chinese and Jewish cultures are very similar. They prioritize family, getting together, traditions, and holidays. She and Rob melded their cultures at their wedding, and they love to celebrate each other’s culture. The kids go off to play after dinner, and Crystal tells Rob that she’s been told, don’t engage and don’t speak out. We flash back to Crystal saying, the group wants her to scream all the time, and Rob says, she has strong opinions and needs to share them. Crystal says, on the other side, the girls are all so skinny, sometimes she can’t focus because she’s comparing herself to them. In her interview, Crystal says, L.A. is obsessed with beauty and bodies. She works hard to feel comfortable in the groups she’s in. She was finally feeling relaxed, and now she’s back to severe distraction. She’s triggered in a way no one understands, and it’s affecting her a lot. She tells Rob that she’s distracted because she’s self-conscious, but she’s working on it. She says, Jeff is coming, and in her interview, she says that she thinks her brother still resents her being part of his break-up. She tells Rob that she doesn’t know when it happened, but she shifted to being his mom. She’s treated him like her son. It comes from a good place, but she shouldn’t have put pressure on him. In her interview, she says she’s been too controlling of her brother and what she wants for him. She needs to check herself, take a step back, and let him be.

On date night, it’s pouring out, and Sutton thinks God is telling her something. In Sutton’s interview, she says she’s going to be delightful and cheery, and give more compliments. She meets good looking silver fox Steve at the restaurant, and he asks what she’s looking for in a potential partner, besides being dashingly handsome. She says she’d like someone outgoing who can keep up with her, who likes to travel and laugh. They find out they both like true crime, and Steve says he once played a dead guy. They also both love karaoke, and Steve shows her the list of 300 songs on his phone. I’m impressed! I just have little pieces of paper in my going-to-the-bar bag. In her interview, Sutton says she may have had it wrong about Alessandra. She’s quirky and told Sutton to do weird things, but she’s starting to trust the process. Steve might be a winner. Steve says he’d like to talk more, and Sutton says, for sure. She’s a talker. He tells her that he’s a listener, and she gives him her number. In her interview, she says she’s broken the one date wonder curse.

Garcelle meets Dorit for lunch, and there’s awkward silence as they peruse the menu. After they order, Dorit says she’s leaving the floor to Garcelle. She wants to make sure she hears Garcelle, and that Garcelle feels like she did. Garcelle says, the word attack hit her in the wrong place, and we flash back to that. Garcelle says, certain words pointed at her have a different impact than at Dorit. Aggressive, attack, and angry are labeling to Black women. She’s not here to educate Dorit. It’s not her job and she doesn’t have the bandwidth. But Dorit needs to be aware of who she’s talking to and what she’s saying. Dorit says, they’ve heard the word in their group hundreds of times, and we flash back to some of those. Garcelle asks if it was ever directed toward her (not any of the examples they showed), but Dorit says she doesn’t know. Her intention wasn’t to offend Garcelle. Garcelle says she was emotional for two days. She was absolutely triggered. Dorit asks if Garcelle thinks she said it with bad intentions, and Garcelle says, yeah. Why else would she say it? Dorit says she wants Garcelle to get it all out before she replies, because some of the things Garcelle is saying are wrong and incredibly hurtful. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, this is why Dorit gets under her skin. She’s always on the defense, and not listening. She tells Dorit that she feels like there’s a pattern she’s not sure Dorit is aware of. She’s being blunt, but thinks Dorit has unconscious Karen behavior.

In Dorit’s interview, she says, this is a serious and dangerous accusation. It’s hurtful and holds a lot of implication. She’s not comfortable at all. Garcelle says, two years ago, Dorit was talking about how she has people of color working for her. We flash back to Dorit listing the nationalities who work for them and how her mom’s best friend is Black. Garcelle asks if there has been any growth, and Dorit asks why she keeps raising this issue. Garcelle says, it feels to her… Dorit says, racist? but Garcelle says, not racist. Dorit says, if this is about a word she said, she apologizes, but it sounds like it’s something more. Garcelle does realize she’s Jewish, doesn’t she? Garcelle wonders what that has to do with it, and Dorit says, Garcelle reduced her privilege. Garcelle says, Dorit is very privileged, and Dorit says, they all have a privileged life. Garcelle wonders why worldly Dorit doesn’t understand that being in her shoes is different than Dorit’s shoes, and Dorit says she never suggested otherwise, but being from marginalized groups, she thought they had more common ground than differences. She feels like everything is on her right now. Garcelle wonders why Dorit is saying her name so much, which is actually something that bothers me too. I think maybe it can make you feel like you’re being scolded. Dorit says, it’s just what she does, and Garcelle says she doesn’t want Dorit to walk on eggshells, but Dorit says, Garcelle is making her feel that way. Garcelle says, Dorit is getting under her skin, and she thinks it’s the things Dorit says and how she says them. The last straw was her saying Garcelle attacked her. She doesn’t know how they’re going to move forward, but she’s going to try. Dorit says she’s sorry she triggered and hurt Garcelle and means it genuinely. She’d never want to hurt anyone intentionally. Garcelle says she thinks Dorit realizes her word choice was horrible, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, this was a lesson for her. She was unaware and knows now that she needs to be more aware of what she’s saying and who she’s saying it to. Garcelle tells her, they’re going to be good.

Next time, Kyle says she would date a women; Garcelle wants to have the talk with her sons; PK says some of Dorit’s PTSD symptoms aren’t PTSD, they’re just obnoxious; and Annemarie is once again obsessed with Sutton’s small esophagus.

☃️ Hoping For a Winter Wonderland…

Back to the old reality grind, so join me tomorrow for soap and uncertain Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay making small changes rather than big resolutions, and stay being aware of what you’re saying and who you’re saying it to.