What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ava meets Trina at the Bistro, and they hug.

On the phone at Kelly’s, Carly says she’d like to arrange a visit with a prisoner… Drew Cain… Why? Is he okay? He was just transferred back there from the hospital… Then when can she see him?… Then she’d like to speak to the warden… Okay. She’ll speak to someone else.

Outside, Maxie asks James, what does he mean he wants a new Halloween costume? She just bought him one; he picked it out. He says he knows, but he found one that would be way cooler. She says, great, he can wear that next year, but he says, it won’t be cool then. Besides, Halloween is the most important holiday of the year. She asks who told him that, and he says, oma, and smiles.

At the hospital, Obrecht hugs Willow and says she looks marvelous. And she’s back to work. Willow says she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Obrecht, and Obrecht says, it was nothing. Willow says, Obrecht saved her life, and Obrecht says she’d do it again. Willow says, they haven’t heard from her in so long. Where has she been? Obrecht says, purging her demons and reinventing herself.

In her office, Nina looks at flowers Sonny sent to her, when her phone rings. She says, send him right in, and Michael walks in. She says, it’s good to see him, and he says, those are beautiful flowers. From his dad? She says, yes, they are. She’s so lucky, isn’t she? He says, very lucky. Too bad luck runs out.

At Pozzulo’s, Brick (looking very hip, I might add) shakes Sonny’s hand and congratulates him. Brick says he thought Sonny was supposed to have his wedding at the MetroCourt, and Olivia was supposed to be planning it. And he was supposed to be invited. Sonny says, that was the plan, but he just couldn’t wait any longer. Brick says, no surprise there. He could see how in love they are. Did he have the wedding on the island? Sonny says, yeah, and Brick says, beautiful. Just him and Nina? Sonny says, Michael was there, Donna was there, Kristina and Willow, and his grandson Wiley. Avery didn’t come and Dante was busy taking down Mason Gatlin.

Dante finds Cody at the stables, and says, look at him; back on the job. Cody says, as a matter of fact, he still does have a job, thanks to Dante’s mom. Dante says, of course (🍷) he does, and Cody says he kind of just figured he’d get fired after going AWOL for a couple weeks, but Mama Q wouldn’t have it. Dante says, that’s his mother, and Cody tells him, she said, there’s no way Cody is getting fired for trying to help save Sasha’s life. Dante says, Sasha will be happy to hear Cody didn’t lose his job either, and Cody says, she’s probably gone by now though.

We see Sasha’s empty apartment.

Nina asks what Michael said, and he says, after everything Willow’s been through, you can’t always count on luck. She says, no. Of course (🍷) not, and she doesn’t intend to. She’s going to do everything in her power to make sure this family, she and Sonny, have the happiest life possible. And she’s so sorry that he, Willow, and Wiley had to leave so soon after the ceremony. Then again, she and Sonny had to cut their honeymoon short, since he had business to attend to. Michael says he heard. He just came from Sonny’s office. He seemed as happy as she is. She thanks him for saying that, and tells him that they can’t wait to get back to the island for an extended stay. And they were hoping he, Willow, and the kids would join them. He says he doesn’t see that happening, and she says, they haven’t actually picked out specific dates, so they’ll work around his schedule. He says, no. What he’s saying is, he has to look out for his family’s best interests, and that means they’re not going to be spending too much time with her in the future.

Obrecht and Willow walk down the hall, and Obrecht says, of course (🍷) the ice baths came after the eight mile hikes and before the daily colonics. Willow says, and she actually paid to be put through that? and Obrecht says, only $10,000 a week. It was heaven. Willow says, sounds kind of pricey, but Obrecht says she would have paid double after that horrible time in Greenland with Victor, then giving her bone marrow to help Willow. She was a shell of herself. Willow says, she looks great now, and Obrecht says she does, doesn’t she? (She does!) Because she’s back to 100%. She flips her hair and they laugh, and she says, now that she’s home, she was thinking how wonderful it would be if she, Willow, and Nina could go back to the spa together. Willow says, that sounds great, but she’s not sure Nina will go anywhere with Sonny now that they’re married. Obrecht says, what? and Willow says, she didn’t know?

Brick says he’s glad to hear Ava’s all right. It sounds like Dex and Dante did their jobs. Sonny says, they did. Too bad Mason Gatlin survived. Brick says, and Renault was released from prison early the same day, and Sonny says, that’s one of the reasons he had to cut the honeymoon short. Brick says he found out the judge responsible for letting him go is the same guy that’s on the board of a foundation to reduce recidivism. It turns out they’re proponents of rehabilitation rather than incarceration. Sonny says, supposedly, Cyrus has given a lot of money to his cause, and Brick says, the cause or whatever behind the scenes dealings that were going on doesn’t matter at this point when he’s out. Sonny says, they just have to figure out what Cyrus is going to do next.

Trina asks why Ava didn’t tell her when she asked Trina to cover for her at the gallery, and Ava says she didn’t want to scare Trina. Trina says, Joss told her that Ava was almost killed, and Ava says she’s sorry. She should have realized Trina would talk to Joss. Thank God for her and Dex. Trina asks if Ava’s sure she’s all right now, and Ava says, yes, and Avery’s fine. It was wonderful to see her and hold her when it was all over. Just like it’s wonderful to see Trina. Trina says she can’t lose Ava.

Maxie and James are seated at a table, and Carly says, it’s nice to see their faces. What can she get them? James says he’d like an ice cream sundae, like the one he split with Cody before. Carly says, for dessert, but would he like his dinner before his dessert? He says he’s having a backwards dinner. Ice cream sundae first, then grilled cheese. Maxie says she’ll have a backwards dinner too; chocolate pie and then a chicken Caesar salad. Carly says she loves it. Two backwards dinners coming right up. She leaves, and Maxie and James high-five.

Dante says, Sasha was all packed up, and Cody says, so Dante went to see her. Dante says he wanted to say goodbye before she took off, and Cody says, he tried to talk her out of leaving, right? Dante says he did, but she’s got to make her own decisions, and Cody says, this one’s the wrong one. Dante says he can understand her wanting to start fresh. She has some bad memories here. Cody says, she has some good ones too, and Dante says he guesses she has to weigh the difference between the good and bad ones, and wait and see. Cody thanks him for going to see her, and Dante says he just wanted to make sure she was okay. Cody asks if he thinks she is, and Dante says he hopes so. What about Cody? Is he okay?

Carly says, first course. One piece of chocolate pie and one sundae. Maxie and James thank her, and she tells them, enjoy. Maxie says, so James doesn’t want to wear the Halloween costume they ordered? and he says he has to wear a different one. She says, he hasn’t even told her what it is yet, and James says, she’s not going to like it. (I’m intrigued. Is it Cyrus? Gladys? Trump?)

Lucy meets Martin outside Kelly’s and hugs him. She asks why they’re eating here. They do not serve wine, and right now, she could really use a glass of wine. He says he’s sorry. He thought this would be a little more intimate, but never mind that. Where did she wander off to? He was waiting for her at the MetroCourt. She says she had that contract she had to sign giving 51% of her Deception to Tracy, so she decided she would go to the Quartermaines. She would look Tracy in the eye, and she wanted to take that contract and just cram it down Tracy’s throat… but she wasn’t there. He says, that was a blessing, and she says, now, not only did Tracy blackmail her out of control of her company, Tracy’s completely trying to derail her great decision.

Ava says, Trina is never going to lose her, but Trina says she almost did. Joss said she was kidnapped by some horrible man. Why? Ava says, none of that even matters now. He’s in police custody and he’s going to get the punishment he deserves for what he did. Trina asks how she can be so calm about it, and Ava says, believe her. She wasn’t so calm when it was happening. If Dex and Dante hadn’t shown up when they did… Trina tells her, Joss said Dante shot the man, and Ava says, he survived of course (🍷), the way men like him usually do, and he’s being treated at GH. Trina says, it must have been awful, and Ava says, it was, but she has to move on. Move forward for Avery’s sake and put it behind her. Trina says, she’s so strong, and Ava says, maybe not as strong as Trina thinks. Trina says she thought about Ava so much when she was in New York City, and Ava says she hopes Trina had a wonderful time. Trina says she did, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as good if it weren’t for Ava. Ava changed her life forever.

Brick says, after much digging, he found this, handing Sonny a paper. It confirms what Sonny already knew. Renault was Mason and Austin’s boss. Sonny says, good. Then he has proof Cyrus is pulling the strings. Brick says, so he’s the guy responsible for Ava’s kidnapping and he’s the one who planted Betty in Sonny’s house to dig up information. Sonny says, and he turned over the information she gave him to the Feds, and Brick says, if Sonny wasn’t a step ahead, he would have been going into prison just as Cyrus was being released. Sonny says, and Port Charles would have been wide open for Cyrus to take over, but Brick says, no matter. Sonny’s still here. He’s not in any position to take over any territory whatsoever. Sonny says, that’s true, but he’s still a threat.

Obrecht says she can’t believe Nina wouldn’t contact her only aunt to let her know she was getting married. Does she mean nothing to Nina? Willow says, actually, the whole thing was totally last minute. Nina and Sonny eloped. Obrecht – who actually knows the meaning of the word – says, so it was just the two of them? and Willow says, not exactly. Obrecht says, be exact please, and Willow says, a few people were there. Obrecht asks, how few? and Willow says, Michael, Kristina, Wiley, Donna, and her. Obrecht says, that’s more than a few. Willow and Michael went to the wedding? She has missed a lot. Willow says she’s sure Nina wanted Obrecht there, but she was at the spa, and Nina probably didn’t want to bother her. Obrecht says, Nina could have given her a choice, but she didn’t… No matter. She should move on. If she learned anything in Gdansk… Willow says, Gdansk? and Obrecht says, that’s where the spa was. And on her hikes and meditation, she learned, we must not spend time lamenting the past; we must stay in the present and be thankful and curious about what is going on in the here and now. Willow says, that sounds like a good philosophy, and Obrecht says, so tell me, my beautiful grandniece, how is you’re here and now? Willow says, it couldn’t be better.

Nina says she doesn’t understand. When Michael said he’d bring Willow and Wiley to the wedding, she thought they reached a new agreement. Michael says, that’s because it’s what his father wanted, and Willow agreed to go. Nina says, he was happy for them; he was happy for both of them. So was Willow, and Wiley had a wonderful time at the wedding. Michael agrees he did, and she tells him, he said his father is happy. Michael says, he is, and she says, Michael wasn’t pretending. She saw his face when he was watching her and his father after the ceremony. She knew he knew how much that moment meant to them. And she felt that animosity between them was finally falling away. She felt so… He says, lucky? That’s because she was lucky. Because Sonny, Willow, not even he knew what she did, but now he knows. Her luck has run out.

Cody says he’s fine. If that’s the only reason Dante came here, then he has work to do. Besides, Dante was always useless in a barn. Dante agrees, unless there’s some menial task he can do. Cody says, Trigger could use an apple, and gives one to Dante. Cody leads Dante to a gorgeous brown horse, and asks if Dante minds telling him why he thinks Cody is so screwed up. Dante tells Cody that he never said he was screwed up, and Cody imitates Dante, what about you, Cody? Are you okay? Dante says, so a guy can’t just ask his buddy if he’s doing okay? Cody asks why Dante would think he’s not okay, and Dante says, maybe because he pretended to be crazy to get institutionalized so he could save Sasha. Then he saves her, and she decides to move to Texas. Cody says, that’s her choice, and Dante says, it’s okay to admit he misses her and likes her and all that kind of stuff. Cody says, he’s going to miss her, and Dante says, that’s a good first step. Cody says he’s sure Dante is going to tell him the next step, and Dante says he is; he’s going to tell Cody both next steps. Cody is going to tell Mac that he’s his kid and stop pretending he’s not. Cody says, they’ve been through all that, and Dante says, they have. He’s actually glad he’s not the only one who knows anymore. Cody asks what that means, and Dante says, Cody told Sam, he told Sasha. He’s no psychiatrist, but he thinks Cody kind of wants Mac to find out he’s his kid.

Martin says he doesn’t understand. Lucy likes Sasha. She says she loves Sasha. She’s told him that many, many times. She adores Sasha, and she still has an interest in Deception. So wouldn’t he think it was in her best interest if their company was as profitable as possible and as soon as possible? He says he supposes, and she says, but Tracy doesn’t see that. She is mandating that Sasha remain the Face of Deception, but they haven’t even asked Sasha, does she want that?

Sonny tells Brick that he spoke to Selina Wu and let her know who’s in control. She’s definitely going to be cooperating when it comes to Cyrus. Brick says, she’s not a stupid woman. She understands the power structure. Sonny says he knows, but he needs Brick’s expertise. Cyrus has given a lot of money to this foundation. He wants to know where the money’s coming from. Brick asks if Sonny really thinks a guy like Renault would give all his money away? and Sonny says, not likely; he probably has a stash somewhere else. But they have to figure out who else he’s working with. Brick says, Cyrus seems like a renegade to him, but he’ll check it out. Sonny says he’s made a lot of enemies in this town. Cyrus isn’t going anywhere. He’s got a lot of connections in Port Charles. Brick says he’ll do a deep dive on Cyrus’s finances; see where the money leads. There’s a knock at the door, and Carly flies in. She hugs Brick, and he says, a bonus. He gets to see his favorite girl. He asks how she’s doing.

Nina says she doesn’t know what Michael is accusing her of, and he says, she only wishes he was accusing her. He’s stating a fact. He plays the recording of Martin saying that he told the SEC to investigate Carly and Drew for insider trading under Nina’s direction, and she asks where he got that. He says, it doesn’t matter. What matters is, Martin’s telling the truth. The question is, what is he going to do with it?

They sit down, and Willow tells Obrecht that Wiley and Amelia are both doing so well. And Michael has been amazing. Obrecht says she was very impressed with how loving and supportive he was in her time of need, and Willow says, he still is, and somehow things have gotten better with Nina. Obrecht says, they went to her wedding; that’s a good sign. She’s certain Nina was so happy Willow was there. She loves Willow very much. Willow says she’s actually starting to think they may be able to develop some kind of relationship, and Obrecht says, of course (🍷) they will. It sounds as if everything is perfect. Willow says, not everything. Drew Cain is still locked up in Pentenville. Obrecht says, injustice. That man saved not only her life, in turn, Willow’s as well. Willow says, yes, and she prays he’ll be released soon, and Obrecht says, from her mouth. But there’s something else; she can see it. Please share with her. Willow says she keeps having this dream, and Obrecht says, dreams are important. Tell her. Willow says, it’s Harmony. In the dream, it’s as if she’s warning her not to trust someone. Obrecht says, classic Freudian. After all Willow’s been through, her mind is trying to tell her to stay alert. It’s trying to protect her from her deepest fear, that the struggle and uncertainty she’s been through will return. But it’s a false dream. She must ignore it. Her future, her family’s future, and now her future with her birth mother are all bright and beautiful.

Ava asks if Trina saw the paintings on her list, and Trina says, yes, and they were amazing. Spencer got them a first-class tour of the archives at the Met. Ava says, that’s incredible, and Trina says she was walking through, and she realized that she liked art before she worked at the gallery; she just didn’t understand why or how to appreciate it. Ava says, Trina had a great eye from the moment they met, and Trina says, but Ava opened her eyes to that. Ava helped her realize it’s more than just about the strokes and the beautiful sculpture. It’s something else. Ava says, a meaningful piece of art can give you understanding… No, can give you an actual feeling of what the artist went through to create it. Trina says, yes, and that’s what she felt when she went to the Met. Those paintings made her feel something. Ava says, she’s extraordinary, and Trina says, Ava opened her eyes to all of that. She loves her mom, and she loves both of her dads. She’s so lucky to have both of them, all of them, but she’s also lucky because when she met Ava, it was like she was a second mom.

Martin says, so Lucy hasn’t even spoken to Sasha? and Lucy says, no. Come on. After that horrible ordeal with that barbaric doctor and her crazy mother-in-law, she just thought Sasha needed space. She needed her privacy. Lucy completely understands. He says, but she didn’t know about Tracy’s plan, and Lucy says, no, and according to Maxie, Sasha is leaving town today. But Tracy wants her to somehow track down Sasha and demand. What is she supposed to do, force her to be the Face of Deception? He says, doesn’t Lucy at least owe it to her to let her know it’s an option? Lucy says she guesses. She doesn’t know. She found the perfect choice to be the Face of Deception, to replace Sasha.

James says he can wear the first costume for the Halloween Parade at school, and the second costume for trick-or-treating, and Maxie says, sounds like he’s got it all figured out. He says he does, and she says, he doesn’t need two costumes. Obrecht comes up behind him, putting her hands on his shoulders, and says, of course (🍷) he does. Because Halloween is the most important holiday of the year. He says, oma! and hugs her.

Nina asks what Michael wants, and he says he expected a denial, but she says, there’s no point. Clearly, he coerced Martin into betraying attorney/client privilege. He said he saw his father earlier. She assumes he didn’t tell Sonny or anyone else. He says he hasn’t, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to tell everybody what she did. She says she didn’t do anything illegal, unlike his mother and Drew, and he says, so she doesn’t care if he tells everyone… She says, just tell her what he wants, and he says he wants her to stay away from Willow forever… but that’s only going to make her suspicious. So this is what’s going to happen. From now on, Nina is going to get his permission before even setting foot near them. She asks why he’d even think that. Willow and Wiley had a wonderful time at the wedding. His father is finally happy. Why doesn’t he just leave it alone? He says, she thinks he’s going to let her off that easy for what she did to his mother and Drew? She says, me get off that easy? His mother kept both of her daughters from her. She didn’t know Nelle was her daughter until after she was dead, but did Carly know? Yes, she did. Nina could have helped Nelle. He says, no one could have helped Nelle, and she says, he’s talking about Wiley’s mother and her daughter, so watch it. And after Carly put her through hell, did she change? No. Carly found out Willow was her daughter too, and did she tell anyone? Did she tell Nina? Did she tell Michael? Did she tell Willow or anyone? No. She waited until Willow was literally dying. Yeah, people are going to be a little angry at her that she turned in Carly and Drew to the SEC for doing something illegal, but that is nothing compared to what Carly has done to her. And she’s telling him this, he is not keeping her away from her daughter. Or her grand- children.

Cody tells Dante, that is crazy. He doesn’t want Mac to know he’s his son. Dante says, then why does he keep telling everybody? (ha-ha!) and Cody says, he told three friends. Dante tells him, he’s just saying, if you don’t want anybody to know something, you don’t tell anyone. Cody says he knew he could trust Dante, and Dante says, and Sam and Sasha. Cody says, yes and yes, and Dante tells him that he’s just saying, people slip up when they know stuff. Cody says he knew Dante wasn’t going to tell anyone; neither is Sam. And Sasha’s on her way out of town. This is ridiculous. Why is he even arguing this? Mac has this tight-knit family; he’s happy. There’s no reason he needs to be stuck with a guy like him for a son. Dante says, Mac trusted Cody. He bent the rules to take down Montague. Cody says, Mac did that for Sasha and he’s thankful for it, but Dante says, he did it because he believed in Cody. He’s seen the side of Cody that can sabotage himself at poker games and such. Cody says, exactly. Who in their right mind would want to be stuck with someone like that as a son? Dante says, because he’s also seen the other side of Cody that does good stuff, like saving Sasha. He saw the way Mac looked at Cody after he did that. He was proud of Cody. He’d be proud to call Cody his son.

Carly says she didn’t know Brick was in town, and Brick says he just got back. He hopes she’s doing okay. She says she’s trying. She’s sorry she had to call him, but she’s glad he’s here. Sonny says, she did the right thing, and tells Brick that Carly was the one who told him Cyrus was set free. Brick asks if he’s harassing Carly, but she says, that’s not why she’s here. She’s here because Drew went back to Pentenville this morning, and when she called to arrange a visit, they said he wasn’t allowed any visitors. Sonny asks if he’s in the infirmary, but she doesn’t know. The GH doctor said he was well enough to go back in the general population, but when she asked why she couldn’t see him, they wouldn’t tell her. Sonny says he’s going to check this out. He’ll be right back. He leaves, and Brick tells Carly, stop worrying. They’ll get to the bottom of it. Carly says she hopes so, and asks how he is. Brick says, life is good. Lots of changes in Port Charles. She says, yes, and she’s still trying to get used to them all. He says he hasn’t been back to Kelly’s since she took over, and she says, he should drop by. She’s made some improvements. He’s says he’s sure she has. She’s usually pretty good with rolling with the punches. Change can be good sometimes. She says, yes, but he says he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to calling anybody else Mrs. Corinthos.

Nina says she’s not going to ask Michael’s permission to see her child. He’s not going to play God with her life. The only reason why she turned Carly and Drew in to the SEC for doing something illegal is because she wanted his mother brought to justice. It was impulsive. She’ll explain it to Willow. He asks if she thinks Willow will understand. Does Nina know what Drew means to her? Nina says she knows he helped her, and Michael says, he saved her life. Drew saved her daughter’s life, and she got him sent to prison. She says, no, she didn’t, and he says, Drew’s only there because of her. He was beaten so badly that he almost died. Does she think Willow’s going to forgive her for that? She says she didn’t mean for him to get hurt, and he says, she doesn’t mean for a lot of things to happen, but bad things always do happen when it comes to her. Sonny is going out of his way, doing everything he possibly do to protect Drew in Pentenville. How does she think he’s going to feel when he finds out his new wife is responsible for Drew being in prison and costing his mother everything?

Carly says, Brick is a shameless flatterer, and he admits he is, but he means this. She asks, how many Mrs. Corinthoses has he known? and he says, a few, but she’s always been the one. She thanks him, and says, but she’s not anymore. Nina is, and she wishes them both happiness. Well, she wishes Sonny happiness. Brick says, Sonny wants the same for her, and she says she knows. And she cares about what happens to him. That’s why she’s glad Brick is in town, especially with Cyrus being out of prison. He says, she knows this guy pretty well. He remembers her and Jason facing off against him several times when Sonny was away. She asks if Brick means when his new wife led them to believe he was dead. Did she say that out loud? He says he heard nothing, and she says, she and Jason wouldn’t have gotten through that time without him. Cyrus is vicious. Please look out for Sonny. He says, consider it done, and she thanks him. They hug.

Ava tells Trina that a lot of mothers wouldn’t be so open to their daughters working with her, let alone becoming friends with her. Trina says, Ava is more than a friend to her, and her mom knows how important Ava is to her. She really appreciates everything Ava has done for her. Ava says, when she lost Kiki… Trina says, it’s okay, and Ava says, thank God for Avery. She loves her, and Ava knows Avery loves her, but she’s just a kid. She starts to cry and takes Trina’s hand. She says, there aren’t many people in her life who care about her without an agenda. She feels so lucky that Trina is one of those people.

Cody says, Dante really thinks Mac is proud of him? and Dante says, he does. He wouldn’t have said it otherwise. Cody thanks him and says, it means a lot to him. Dante says, but Cody’s still not going to do anything about it, right? and Cody says he really thinks things are better the way they are. Dante asks how it’s better for Mac, not knowing he has a kid, and Cody says he’s a loner. Dante knows that about him. He also knows Cody is only going to screw things up again. Mac’s happy now. He doesn’t need to mess up Mac’s life. Dante asks what Cody is talking about, being a loner. He thinks Cody has more friends than him at this point. Cody says he did get lucky, and Dante says, why doesn’t he come to the house Sunday and watch the game with him, Sam, and the kids? Providing Scout doesn’t commandeer the TV. Cody says he’ll be there either way, and they bro hug. Dante says, and you know what? Texas ain’t Mars. Cody says he meant what he said. He’s lucky to have Dante as a friend. Dante says he knows, and leaves.

Maxie says, they obviously missed Liesl very much, and James repeats, very much. Obrecht says she’s missed her family, and kisses the top of James’s head. Although her time at the spa was divine. Maxie says she can’t wait to hear about it, and James asks if Obrecht wants half of his grilled cheese sandwich, but Maxie tells Obrecht, sorry. She agreed to a backwards dinner if James ate his entire grilled cheese. James says, mom… and Maxie says, James… Obrecht says, James must listen to his mother, when Maxie notices Lucy talking to Martin outside.

Lucy tells Martin, Blaze is not only beautiful, she’s a fantastic singer. So picture this. They go to Home & Heart. She sings this wonderful song, belts out that tune, knocks everybody’s socks off, and then they sell lots and lots of Deception products. Slam dunk. He says, but Tracy doesn’t see it her way, and she says, no. The answer to digging themselves out of the hole that they’re in is right in front of them, and Tracy will have nothing to do with it. Maxie comes out and says, Tracy is right.

Inside, James asks what Obrecht is going to be for Halloween, and she says, it is a difficult choice. Either an Alpine maiden or a NASCAR driver. He says, NASCAR driver, and she says, okay.

Outside, Maxie says, yes, Blaze would be a fabulous idea, if Sasha wasn’t already the Face of Deception. They discussed this with Tracy. They agreed. Martin says, they did? and Lucy says, Maxie is right, but… Maxie says, but they owe Sasha the option to continue, and Lucy reminds Maxie that she said Sasha was leaving town today. Maxie says, they agreed that they would call her. Lucy knows how important Sasha was in getting Deception off the ground. They owe her another chance.

Cody tells Trigger, Dante has a different life. It’s not their fault, and he doesn’t regret anything he did. He understands people need to look out for themselves. Sometimes, that means starting over someplace else. It really sucks when someone who cares gets left behind. He hears the door open, and Sasha is there.

Ava asks Trina to tell her more about her trip, and she doesn’t mean the museum part. Trina says she and Spencer had a wonderful time. He had so much planned, and it was all so special. They had dinner on a beautiful rooftop. Ava says, it was the first time they were really alone together, and Trina says, yeah, and he got her this. She shows Ava her necklace, and Ava says, that boy has excellent taste, and not just in necklaces. Trina says, the whole trip was just a dream. And now they’re back to reality. Ava says, Esme and Ace, and Trina says, yeah. They still have so much to work out. Ava says she’s glad Trina had a great trip, and if it’s meant to be… Trina says she knows.

Sonny comes back, and Carly asks if he heard anything. He says, the reason Drew can’t have any visitors is because he’s in solitary. She says, why? Drew was the one who was attacked and almost killed. Why is he being punished? Brick says, they might be doing this for his protection, and Sonny says, Brick is right. Brick says, and to cover their butts. They either don’t know or don’t want to know who attacked Drew, but the prison don’t want a repeat. That would be horrible press. Sonny says, the fact that he’s in solitary under their observation means he’s safe, but she says, he’s not going to be safe until he’s out of Pentenville for good. Brick asks if that’s a possibility, and Sonny says, Alexis is working on it. Carly tells Brick, Alexis is looking into the judge’s past cases, and thinks she found some impropriety. Brick assumes Sonny’s helping her, and Sonny says he’s doing everything he can. His main priority right now is to get Drew out of Pentenville. When he’s set free, they’ll figure out what they’re going to do with Cyrus.

Nina tells Michael that she’ll explain it to Sonny. She’ll tell him that she acted impulsively. He says, she’ll explain it to Sonny, and he’ll explain it to Willow. He’s sure they’ll understand how she did what she did in the most underhanded, secretive way. She says, no… and he says he’s sure Sonny will understand why she lied to him this whole time. He’s sure Sonny will understand that, when his mother stood there and accused Ned of turning them in to the SEC, Nina stood silent. After all, Sonny is very understanding about lies and deception. She says, he can’t go to Sonny, but he says he can, and he will. If she doesn’t do exactly what he tells her to. He’s not even sure Sonny should be the one she’s most worried about right now, because once his mom finds out what she did… She asks if he doesn’t understand. He’s not only trying to control her life, he’s trying to control Willow’s. He says he’s trying to protect his family from her. His father is happy right now, so he’s not going to take that away from him. He’s sure his father is going to be happy until he finds out the kind of woman she really is. She says, don’t do this, but he says he doesn’t care. He’s not risking his family. She will only see them when he says that it is okay to see them. And she’s going to do something else for him too. She’s going to sell his mother her half of the MetroCourt back. Nina says, she doesn’t have the money. How’s she going to buy it back? (If I remember right, Nina offered to give it back to her, but Carly didn’t want it.) He suggests she figure out a way, but she says, no, it’s too much. He says, this is all she gets. Take it or leave it. There’s a knock at the door, and Willow walks in. She says, Nina’s assistant said Michael was in here. She hopes she’s not interrupting.

Tomorrow, Stella tells Jordan, this calls for a celebration; Carly says she’s not going to stop until she finds out who blew the whistle on her and Drew; and Michael asks if Nina is going to tell Willow, or should he?

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We start with the roller coaster about Kyle and Mauricio. We see what’s to come, and it begins looking promising, and then, not so much. There’s a trip to Barcelona, and it shows us – let’s all say it together – all the wrong people have the money.

Dorit has soul healer Eaglewoman coming over, along with her apprentice Blue Raven. Dorit tells Eaglewoman that she and her friends had a rough year, and she wants them to move on. Eaglewoman says she’s a healer of the soul, and PK says he’s concerned about her being able to work her magic on this group. In Dorit’s interview, she says she invited all of them to a retreat, and to her surprise, they all accepted. Eaglewoman says she’s up for the challenge. Dorit has darker hair this season, and I like it. It actually makes her look younger.

There’s lots of discussion about what wardrobe to pack, which is always a first concern when going on retreat. First world problems. Garcelle has decided, no expectations. In Kyle’s interview, she says her relationship changed with everyone last year, and we flash back to Kathy at the Reunion. The retreat is held at a beautiful ranch, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says she thought their first outing would be cocktails at a cool lounge, but they’re on a spiritual retreat with Dorit. In Erika’s interview, she admits to being vicious last season, and we flash back to that. Although she’s vicious every season, so I don’t get why this was any different. She says she had to protect herself, and she’s walking in like a man without an island. Or $750K earrings. Erika says she lost weight because of hormones, but in Dorit’s interview, she wonders if the hormones are spelled O-z-e-m-p-i-c. <snort> They do a drum circle thing, then sit in a circle. Eaglewoman serves sage tea to precede a ceremony to open up the soul. She tells them forget what they know and remember what they forgot. Dorit hopes to move through some issues, heal, and put it behind them, and says she’ll go first. She says she’s been hurt by Erika, and we see a clip of Erika at BravoCon, trashing Dorit’s marriage and wearing an age-inappropriate hairstyle. Dorit says, it was mean spirited and deeply hurtful. Erika tells Dorit that she didn’t want to answer the question and asked not to. We see another clip, but it’s not like she was being shy about it. Dorit says, Erika delivered the answer like she wanted attention, but Erika says she’s a showman, and delivered what the people wanted. Yeah… no. She thought she was giving them the old razzle dazzle, but she came off more like Baby Jane than Erika Jayne. In her interview, Dorit says, that’s not a showman; that’s a bitch. Dorit says she thought Erika would lead with an apology rather than defending her actions, and Erika says, it was an explanation. It was a shady question, so she gave a shady answer. Is Dorit’s marriage strong? This woman is so full of it. In Sutton’s interview, she says, the only rumor she’s ever heard about Dorit and PK’s marriage was when PK was pulled over for a DUI. He may or may not have had a woman in the car. Dorit says, her marriage is very strong. Erika crossed the line as a friend. She’s hurt and lashes out, and she’s mean spirited. Erika says, they all hurt each other’s feelings in this group. I hate any person who avoids responsibility by saying, we were all [put your favorite a-hole behavior here]. The one used most often is, we were all drunk, when the person in question was being an obnoxious drunk. We flash back to the various women basically telling Erika the truth, and Erika being like, f*** you. Erika says she was getting hit on all sides and needed to catch her breath. As a friend, she’d like to apologize. At that point in time, she’d never felt so low or unheard. She loves them and she’s sorry. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, it’s interesting to see Erika emotional and vulnerable, but does she trust that completely? She doesn’t know. She wants to give Erika a chance and see who she is. Maybe she’ll be surprised. We get what we give. Eagelwoman says, they want to keep the circle alive and moving, which I guess means, let’s move on from Erika’s problems. Kyle says, the stuff with Kathy strained all of her relationships, and we flash back to the Reunion; Andy listing things Lisa claimed Kathy said during her rant, and Kyle weeping. The rest of them are either looking down or away. Kyle says she wanted someone to come up to her. It hurt her a lot. In her interview, she says she expected more from Dorit and Sutton. She thinks they just want to go to Kathy’s parties. Garcelle says she was confused as to why Kyle wasn’t going for people coming for her family.

In Kyle’s interview, she says, her sister created this by coming for her family and for her. She tells the circle that she’s not a punching bag, and didn’t want to stir things up, so she kept her mouth shut. Kyle cries, and Dorit hugs her. In Kyle’s interview, she says, her sister loses her temper on the phone, and we flash back to Kyle telling Kathy that she rants. Kyle says, it makes her feel sheer panic when she sees Kathy’s name come up on the phone. She knows she’s an adult, but it affects her like a child. Eaglewoman tells them to take a deep breath. There’s a lot of hurt and pain in the group, but there’s also love. In a moment of clarity, Erika says, we can’t be hurt by people we don’t love, and Sutton says she thinks they all have a lot of regrets. She’d like to see them be better friends collectively. Eaglewoman wants them to move closer, and they group hug. In Dorit’s interview, she says, they got through the day, and now they’re hugging. Hell hath frozen over. Or at least Beverly Hills has.

Sutton discusses putting a horse on her Amex with property manager Avi. In Sutton’s interview, she says she’s half Texan, and grew up riding. She wants to ride again. Santos spoke to her with his eyes… on the internet. I totally get this, since I got my rescue chihuahua the same way. I saw those eyes online. Jennifer Tilly (I love her!) comes to the store where Sutton has a spread for them that screams… food porn!   In her interview, Sutton says, Jennifer has been one of her best friends for over ten years. They travel well together. She tells a story about mistaking Jennifer’s salted caramels for earplugs on a plane, and says, they’re so stupid together. Jennifer tells Avi, we need some alcohol, and I love her even more. They talk about the store having been open four years now, and Jennifer says, Sutton spent the last twenty years raising kids. She’s going through a metamorphosis. Sutton says she wants to show her success to the ex-husband, and in her interview, she says, when they got married, they were both working. When she got pregnant, it was, you’re not going to work anymore. Her power was diminished, and she got an allowance. She’s never going to allow that to happen again. She tells Jennifer that financial autonomy is important, and she especially wants to show her daughter that. When there’s a divorce, there are two words, spousal support, but they come with an anchor. She’s not going to give it up – we see an article that’s says she gets $300K a month – she earned every single dime. But building something for herself is important. In her interview, she says she wants her ex to remember she’s smart and capable. She doesn’t just make lunch and dinner. She hates to quote Cher, but she will; I’m strong enough.

Erika meets with therapist Dr. Mann for the first time in person. In Erika’s interview, she says she’s been in therapy for the last two and a half years. She’s got the tools to organize her emotions. Bad emotions like anger and hurt don’t serve her any longer. The doctor says, Erika had a terrible fall from grace, and in her interview, Erika says, the indictment was everywhere, and we see a news clip where the newscaster says Tom stole the money and spent a lot on his young wife. Erika says, it feels better that she’s not included, but it doesn’t stop people thinking she did something wrong. We see a clip of Crystal’s husband says, Erika wasn’t responsible for stealing it, but she was responsible for spending it. Dr. Mann says, when Tom actually dies, Erika will go through a new process of grieving, and it will surprise her how she feels. Erika asks if she’ll slide back, and the doctor says, not as long as she’s not abusing Lexapro, but Erika says she’s off Lexapro. She tells the doctor, now Dorit is upset about what she said at BravoCon. How can she be a better friend? Dr. Mann says, she needs to have empathy, and Erika asks how she develops that. The doctor tells her to imagine being in a person’s shoes with their background and history; imagine what it feels like emotionally. It’s Erika’s job to take the high road. She did the low and it didn’t work. Try high. I am stunned that someone of Erika’s age and experience doesn’t grasp empathy.

Kyle is coming to Dorit’s for lunch, and PK sneaks a piece of pizza, saying, Kyle isn’t going to want it anyway. In Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s been seven and a half months and she’s had no alcohol. We flash back to Kyle accosting Sutton at Garcelle’s party, and she says, alcohol wasn’t serving her. She wanted to do what it took to make her feel better physically and spiritually. Kyle arrives, and PK makes himself scares. Dorit tells Kyle that she’s serving salad and petrified pizza. She’s glad to see Kyle in a better place. She knows it was probably a sh*t journey, but Kyle is coming out the other side. Kyle says, she won’t be mistreated be anybody. She didn’t deserve what anybody said about her. In her interview, she says, Kathy is used to people allowing her to get away with certain behaviors. She always gave Kathy leeway because she didn’t speak up to her big sister, but she’s not going to continue to allow Kathy to treat her this way. Dorit says she’s been struggling with PTSD and her husband, the one she depends on most, spent a lot of time in London. She felt like they weren’t connected, and for the first time, thought they might not make it. Kyle thinks it’s normal. Life happens, and things can pull you apart or you can pull together. Dorit says, it would be one thing if he’d done something or there was an incident, but there was a period of time when she needed him and he wasn’t there.

Garcelle takes sons Jaid and Jax to the beach for a picnic. In her interview, she says, they’re 15 now, but she remembers when she carried them like footballs. Now they can carry her; they’re huge. She’s been shooting a show in Atlanta and wants to spend time with them. She has to work, so she needs to make quality time when she can. Jaid says he wants to stay with his girlfriend Ashlyn, and Garcelle says, that’s fine as long as his dad is good with it. Garcelle says she could tell they were annoyed that she was gone so long, and Jaid says, three weeks is a year. She says she wishes they would vocalize their concerns more, and now is a chance to say how they feel. Jax says he wants more freedom, and Garcelle says she feels like he won’t let her parent him. Jax says he understands, but he needed that a few years ago instead of now. He already knows how to do things for himself. In her interview, Garcelle says, she feels she’s always been there for them, but not always 100%. Hearing it from Jax is like a knife to her heart. Jax says, there were times he thinks he needed it more. but now he doesn’t need parenting that much. It’s not his intention to hurt her, but it needs to be said. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she’s happy he’s being honest, but it makes her feel like a failure. She apologizes, and Jax says he’s glad they’ve learned from the past and matured from it. She asks, who is he? and in her interview, she says, although Jax and Jaid are twins, they couldn’t be more different. Her mom blanket parented, but she’s parented according to individual needs. She asks what Jaid has to say, and he says he misses Ashlyn. Aww. They’re good kids.

Mauricio does business on the phone, and Kyle asks to talk to him about their calendars. He says he’s going to Portugal during Portia’s spring break, and wonders if she can join them, but Kyle says she can’t go during that window. In her interview, she says, it’s been a challenging year. Mauricio has been working non-stop and she’s been working. When you have to schedule a meeting to go over your schedule, it’s problem. Mauricio says she looks great. She’s working out like a beast, eating healthy, and not drinking. In Kyle’s interview, she says, you have to find an outlet. She feels good about it and hopes Mau does too. Mauricio says she looks amazing, and asks how many tattoos she has. She tells him, five, and he says he only knew of three. She suggests maybe he should be looking at her body closer, and in her interview, Kyle says, it’s a symptom of not being together. Mauricio tells her, it’s a lot. If she wants to get another, he won’t allow it. She says, he didn’t even know how many she had, and he says, she doesn’t need anymore. He keeps calling her Lovebean, and it’s annoying the hell out of me. She tells him that he doesn’t have choice, and in her interview, she says, sometimes they can do no wrong, and sometimes they breathe, and you want to punch them. She tells him that she doesn’t have to please anyone, including him. She went from her mom to being an example for her girls. You can do all that, and things can still go to sh*t. She tells Mauricio that she doesn’t know if it came from dealing with her sister or what, but she doesn’t feel like she has to answer to anyone. He tells her not to become a rebellious person and do it out of rebellion, and she says she’s very f***ing clear, she’s not rebelling.

Next time, Sutton looks for a partner; Erika wants to work on repairing her friendship with Dorit; Mauricio’s family asks about the divorce rumors; and Garcelle feels like she’s failed as a parent when Jax asks to live with his dad.

💭 This show looks good right now, but in the preview, Denise shows up and all those tools Erika said she got from therapy go out the window.

🍫 Putting Chocolate In My Peanut Butter…

Join me tomorrow for soap and Southern shenanigans. Until then, stay safe, stay never ghosting someone, and stay not telling anyone if you don’t want anybody to know something.