What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason finds Anna in his office and asks if she talked to Carly. She says, yeah. They’ve got trouble.

At the MetroCourt, Valentin tells the bartender that their regular wine list is somewhat lacking tonight. Didn’t the previous owner keep a supply of more interesting wine for the more discriminating customer? He slips some cash into the wine menu and slides it across the bar. The bartender says, that’s still the case. Special occasion? Valentin says he’s hoping to rekindle an old flame, when his phone rings. The caller says, this is Clemont, the pharmacist, and Valentin says he’s aware. Clemont says, their deal is off, and Valentin says he’s going to need him to clarify that. Clemont says he’s done messing with Sonny Corinthos’s medications. His wife is onto them.

Alexis reads, the basis for my disbarment was an accusation of perjury based on hearsay evidence. No one involved with the accusation was present for or affected by the statement in question. She sees Gregory looking at his phone and says, that bad, huh? He says he’s sorry. He got distracted by pictures of the rehearsal dinner in Coney Island. She asks him to let her see, and he shows her. She says, it looks like they’re having a good time. How long does he think it will be before Lois convinces Tracy to go on the Cyclone? He says, anything’s possible, and she says, nothing compares to their parachute jump. He says, nothing at all. He didn’t mean to get them off track. Let’s get back to your pitch for reinstatement at the bar. She says, it’s fine. Let’s take a breather. He says, absolutely not. If she’s going to spend her evening babysitting him, at least let him make himself useful.

Jason asks, how bad? and Anna says she thinks the severity of this situation all hinges on whether or not he can handle Carly before she blows this entire operation and gets herself sent to prison in the bargain.

Drew shows Jordan plans for the esplanade and tells her to think of the Conkey Esplanade like the High Line in Manhattan (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! sure, Drew). The plan is to transform something that’s run down and flat out dangerous into something that’s beautiful and safe and clean. A place where pedestrians can gather in large numbers. Redo this right, and it should vastly improve the city’s fortunes. She says, and alter the perceptions people have of Port Charles being a haven for organized crime. He says, that couldn’t hurt. So what does she think? Is this kind of what she pictured? She says she’s definitely impressed. It’s a bold and imaginative idea and a big investment for the future of Port Charles. He says, that’s great news. He’s glad they’re in agreement on that. She says, but it’s not big enough. The way he has it laid out, this proposal won’t even get off the ground.

Gregory says he knows Finn asked Alexis to watch over him while everyone was off at Coney Island, but she says, he did not. He is worried about Gregory’s well-being while he’s away, but her coming here was her idea, because A, she really does want his help, and B, he’s her friend. Not her charge, and certainly not someone she needs to babysit. He says, maybe that was a poor choice of words, but his point remains, and she says, Finn just wants him to be okay, and he agonizes about how to do that without stepping on Gregory’s autonomy. He knows Gregory’s time is limited and he doesn’t want to waste any of it with the two of them being at odds with one another. He says, sounds like they had quite the emotional conversation. He’s guessing Finn also told her that he lost his temper and dredged up his little tryst with Jackie on their wedding eve. Of course (🍷) Finn was hurting and she’s his friend. He got frustrated and just wanted to be left alone by himself for a few hours. When Finn argued against it, he retaliated by laying a hell of a guilt trip on him. It was cheap shot. As cheap as they come.

Valentin says, tell him exactly what’s happened, and Clemont says, Sonny’s wife came to his office earlier today asking him a lot of questions about Sonny’s prescription. She knows he’s not on the full dose of his meds. Valentin says, okay, and? and Clemont says, and what? Isn’t it bad enough she knows? Valentin asks if she threatened him. Have the police been contacted? Clemont says, no. Valentin’s not listening to him. Valentin says he is listening. He heard everything Clemont said. He said, a woman claiming to be Mrs. Corinthos approached him, claiming she knows he’s been prescribing Sonny a lower than prescribed dose of his bipolar medication. And rather than going to the authorities, she turned and walked away. Does that sound about right? Clemont says, more or less. Why isn’t Valentin as upset about this as he is? Valentin says, if this wife of Sonny’s wanted him to be arrested, he’d be in handcuffs by now. Can he describe her? Clemont says, she was blonde, beautiful… Honestly, that’s all he remembers. It happened so fast. Valentin says he can identify her. In the meantime, stay the course and continue to deliver Sonny the lower dose. Clemont says, what if Sonny’s wife actually does report him? but Valentin says, Sonny doesn’t have a wife, not currently – he sees Nina come in – but he does have several beautiful blondes in his orbit. He’s familiar with all of them and will identify the woman who approached Clemont, and he will deal with her appropriately. He looks at Nina.

Anna says, Jason was right. Carly was listening in on his conversation with John and she took it upon herself to go visit Brennan in Pentenville, where she preceded to inform him that Cates was looking into Pikeman. So now that means this operation is blown. Because Brennan is going to reach out to whatever allies he has left at the WSB to obstruct this investigation. And if the FBI can’t build a case… Jason says, his deal with Cates is blown, and Anna says, and Carly will be prosecuted. He says, it can’t happen, and she says she’s been thinking. It stands to reason that the first person he would reach out to is ostensibly the same target they’re after. He says, whoever’s running Pikeman, and she says, right. So if they can find out how Brennan makes contact with his successor, then actually, they could use Carly’s mistake to their advantage.

Valentin approaches Nina’s table and says he was thinking about her, and here she is. She says, good timing. What’s up? He says he heard from Charlotte and has an update on that equestrian event in Normandy, and she say she does want to hear about that, but unfortunately, she has a meeting to get to. She gets up, and he says, then another time. She says, okay, and he says, just one question. She hasn’t reconciled with Sonny, has she? She says, no. Where did he hear that? He says he thought he heard somebody say that. Obviously, he was mistaken. She says she and Sonny aren’t together and they’re not getting back together either. She and Sonny are done for good. He says, she knows how he feels about Sonny. His loss. She says, and Ava’s gain, and he says, come again? She says, Ava’s worming her way into Sonny’s house and his life, and she’s somehow made it that she’s one of the very few people Sonny feels he can trust. They’re very close now and Ava wouldn’t have it any other way. He says, then he guesses she’s well and truly out of it, and she says she is. She has to go. She’ll see him. She touches his face and leaves.

Nina walks into the gallery and asks if Ava can spare a few moments for a friend.

Jordan tells Drew, projects of this size need so many approvals from regulatory bodies in the government, and they’re all just looking for a reason to say no. The environmental review will be particularly tough, but their chances will increase exponentially if they have enough powerful friends in Albany and DC. He says he’s assuming she knows how to win them over, and she says she thought he’d never ask. Let’s start with the parking lot. That’s incredibly valuable real estate and he has so much space allocated for them. He says, people have to park, and she says, only if you drive in. There’s an abandoned railway ending right at the waterfront. It may be old, but it’s still viable. What if they get it back into workable shape? Then connect it to the existing light rail network, and voila. Now it’s not just a waterfront redevelopment. He says, it’s mass transit, and she says, exactly, and they can just sit back and watch the state and federal grants pour in. He says, that’s an amazing idea, and she says, it is, isn’t it? But she’s not done yet. She also thinks they should dredge the harbor at the dock adjacent to the esplanade and make it suitable for ferry service. He says, like service to Canada? and she says, yeah. Think about it. The current drive time to Toronto to Port Charles is three hours. A high-speed ferry will cut that drive time down to one hour. He says, they would be an international tourist destination, and she says, and those tax dollars will pour in. He says, she’s really good at this, and she says she appreciates the enthusiasm. He tells her, how could anybody say no to this? It looks like the next thing to do is just break ground. She says, slow down. They still have to get official approval, and then they can pop the champagne. McConkey walks in and asks, what are we celebrating?

Jason says, so if Brennan reaches out to whoever’s controlling Pikeman, they just need to be ready and watching, and Anna says, okay. She’ll talk to the authorities at Pentenville. Meanwhile, she’s still pursuing the other angle. He says, what was that? and she says, Valentin. She’s meeting with him shortly. He asks if she’s okay with that, and she says, yeah. He claimed to be in Europe, and he was actually here, monitoring the first attempt on Sonny’s life. So that’s proof he’s more involved with Pikeman than he’s letting on. And she really needs to find out just how involved. He says, she is their best chance at getting any information from him, and she says, maybe. She thinks there’s something else they need to discuss. Do they give John a heads up as to what they’re doing? He says, as far as he’s concerned, he doesn’t need to talk to John until he can tell him who’s running Pikeman. He doesn’t want to work with John; he doesn’t want to deal with John. But she’s the Police Commissioner. This is a joint operation, so he’ll take her lead. She says she agrees with him. John’s playing it very close to the vest. So will they.

Ava says, sorry, the gallery’s closed, but Nina says, Ava can make time for her. After all, she never told Sonny how Ava manipulated her into selling her hotel to Jason. Ava asks if that’s what she did, and Nina says she’s sure Ava can appreciate her discretion. On the other hand, she wishes Ava had been more forthcoming in her dealings with Crimson. Ava says she doesn’t know what Nina is talking about. She has nothing to do with Crimson. Nina says, oh really? That’s odd, because her assistant just asked her for approval on a last minute addition to next issue’s cultural calendar. There’s an exciting new African artist making her debut in the United States, and her opening just happens to be taking place in the very gallery they’re standing in. Ava says she’s very successful at what she does. It stands to reason that a talented artist would choose her gallery. Nina says, and to promote said artist, Ava lobbied one of their assistant editors for the mention, and Ava says, all right. Nina’s got her. But the fact is, the artist is extremely talented and their work deserves to be seen. She makes no apologies for that. Nina says she agrees her work is beautiful, and she thinks Crimson should spotlight worthy artists. She has no issue featuring her, despite Ava’s many, many transgressions. She doesn’t like that Ava went behind her back. Ava comes to her first. Next time, she isn’t going to be so generous. Ava says she was protecting the artist. She thought Nina would cancel the mention if Nina knew it came from her. Nina says, Ava is smart to worry, because Ava snaked Sonny away from her, all while lying and pretending to be her friend. If that’s not worthy of payback, she doesn’t know what is. Ava says, there Nina goes again, always looking for somebody to blame. Nina ruined her relationship with Sonny all on her own with her lies. Nina says, and Ava didn’t wait five minutes before she took advantage of their break-up. That’s okay. What’s done is done. She doesn’t have a future with Sonny, she knows that now. She’s finally accepted that they’re over for good.

Ava asks if Nina expects her to believe that she’s suddenly fine with her marriage to Sonny being over, but Nina says, Ava was there when she signed the divorce papers. She imagines Ava delivered those papers to Sonny herself, didn’t she? It’s not what she wanted, but she’s accepted the reality of it. Ava says, that sounds too evolved to be true, and Nina asks if Ava doesn’t think she can grow and change. Ava says, the way she sees it, baby snatching, letting Sonny’s family believe he was dead, and anonymous tips to the SEC are all three sides of the same vindictive coin. So, no. She doesn’t see any evidence of Nina growing or changing. Nina says she never claimed to be perfect. The point is, she’s trying to be better. Ava should know what that looks like. She tried it once. For a minute or two, she and Nikolas sort of had something real, didn’t they? And who knows? If Ava could have sustained it, she might still be married, and he wouldn’t be in prison. Ava says, Nina’s probably right about that. She went to see him… Nina says, don’t mistake her for someone who still cares. They have no friendship anymore. They did. She knows that. It was really nice being able to confide in Ava, but the first chance Ava had to help herself to something that was Nina’s, she took it, and the friendship is over. Professionally, she’s sure the two of them can be mature enough to get the most out of it. That’s all they will ever be to each other now. She hopes it was worth it.

Gregory tells Alexis, things got out of hand. He felt like Finn was ignoring his wishes and wasn’t listening to him. Finn wasn’t seeing him, his father, and just reduced him to this stinking disease again. He should have just stopped the conversation and said, let’s start again when they’ve calmed down, but instead, he lashed out and said the cruelest thing possible. He can’t tell her how much he regrets it. Alexis asks if he has any idea how much stress he’s under. It’s ridiculous. Show himself some grace. Does he know how many times she’s screwed up as a mother? And she had no excuse. Did she ever tell him about the time Kristina came out to her? Did she tell him about how she reacted? He says he doesn’t believe so, and she says, Kristina didn’t get the love and acceptance she was hoping for and deserved. He says, really? That’s surprising. He would have thought… She says, yeah, that she would have put out the rainbow flag, and yeah, she’s always been supportive of the LGBTQ community, but when it was her own daughter in front of her, she got scared. He says, of what? and she says, about how much harder her life could be, and people’s prejudices, and scary moments that could happen to Kristina and she wouldn’t be able to protect her. There she was, so vulnerable, and wanting Alexis’s unconditional love, and honestly, it was one of her worst moments as a mother. He says he’s sorry to hear that, and she says, it became her best moment. One of her best moments anyway. Because you make a mistake, you learn from it, and she did. She self-reflected, she educated herself, and she listened to other people talking to her. She apologized to Kristina and explained to her why she reacted the way she did, and Kristina understood, and they were better off for it. He says he’s glad to hear that, but he doesn’t think their situations are the same, and she says, his situation is exactly the same. He made a mistake. He’s human. And by the way, that’s quite a relief, because him being so saintly is really infuriating. Just apologize to Finn. Don’t let it fester. He says he plans to. He’s just not sure an apology alone will do.

McConkey says he didn’t expect to see Jordan today. It’s been a while. She says, it has. The last time they spoke, she’s sent a group of apartment residents over to his office. He says, sent? Sicced is the word he thinks she’s looking for, and they were mightily disgruntled that he didn’t want to support their affordable housing project. She says, and wasn’t dealing with them worth her return of get-out-the-vote efforts for his reelection campaign? and he says he always knows on what side his bread is buttered. Drew says, Jordan is a valuable ally, and Jordan says, and don’t you forget it. She has to get going, but she thanks McConkey for getting behind the esplanade. They’re very appreciative of his help, and they’ll definitely do good things in his name. McConkey says he appreciates that, and Drew says he and Jordan will talk soon. She leaves, and Drew says, McConkey’s timing is incredible. He’s got a layout… McConkey says, just leave that alone for now. He has another reason for being there. Why does Drew think he should get into bed with a convicted criminal?

Jason hears someone come into the warehouse and walks into his office to see Danny. Jason sighs and asks what he’s doing here, and Danny says he came here to see Jason. Is Jason going to tell him to leave?

Anna finds Valentin at a table and says, he started without her. He says, just a little something to calm his nerves. Good Lord, she’s beautiful. She says she didn’t realize she could still make him nervous, and he holds her chair for her. He says, she can. It’s been a while since they’ve done this. She says, exactly. He should enjoy it. Relax. He doesn’t need to be so serious. He says, with her, it’s always been serious.

Valentin asks how things are at the PCPD at the moment, and Anna says, complicated at the moment. There are rumblings that he Heather Webber case is going to be reopened. Then of course (🍷) there’s the ongoing business with Sonny. He says, ongoing is a good way to put it. He’s been a thorn in the PCPD’s side for decades. She says, it got a bit more complicated recently, because a former employee of his – a young man, Dex Heller – got accepted into the police academy. He says, from mob foot soldier to police cadet. That’s a helluva career change. She says, yeah. The other officers have been very quick to judge because of his former occupation, but she’s more worried Sonny will retaliate because he switched sides. He says, Sonny’s not really forgive and forget, is he? Why would Dex risk his wrath by becoming a cop? She says, it was her doing. She originally suggested he should apply to the police academy because she thought it would be a way to back Sonny off and protect the young man. But now she thinks the drive behind it is Dex and his need to redeem himself. Valentin can understand how powerful that is. Valentin says, Dex could hardly find a better mentor if he’s looking for redemption. Hasn’t she spent her entire career chasing that?

Alexis asks why Gregory doesn’t think an apology is enough for Finn, and he says he honestly doesn’t know. Like her reaction to Kristina’s coming out, he shocked himself with what he said to Finn. He thought he was long over the hurt and anger about what happened with him and Jackie. He was just grateful to have Finn back in his life and to be able to spend time with him and Violet. He was blindsided to realize that he’s holding on to that resentment. She says, explain it to Finn the way he explained it to her. He’ll understand because she knows he still feels guilt about this too. He says he thought they were long past that, and she says, what happened in the past happened. Pretending it didn’t happen is just giving it power. Just acknowledge it and get over it and beyond it. Move on. He says he sees her point, and she says, the fact that the two of them love each other is literally all that matters right now. He says, she makes a very compelling case. Anyone ever tell her that she’d make a great lawyer? That’s her cue to hit him with her opening statement again. She asks if he’s in a headspace for that, and he says, absolutely. Give it a go, counselor. Convince him that she should be reinstated. She says, may it please the court.

Ava says she guesses they’re done here, and Nina says she guesses so. John walks in and asks if he’s interrupting something. Ava says, not at all. Nina was just leaving. Nina tells John, Miss Reeves, and shakes his hand. She doesn’t think they’ve officially met. She did see him at the MetroCourt with Carly. If she recalls, he was wearing a lot less at the time. He says, she seems to have gotten the wrong idea, but she says she doesn’t think she cares enough to remedy that. Enjoy the art. Beware the gallery owner. She’ll take him for all he’s worth if he’s not careful. She leaves, and John says, the two of them seem close. Ava says, it’s been a very long day. So whatever he came here for, can it please wait until tomorrow? He says, no, it can’t. He’s here about Sonny.

Jason says, of course (🍷) he likes seeing Danny, but there are good reasons he didn’t want Danny coming to the warehouse. This part of the neighborhood is very dangerous, especially at night. Danny says, Jason doesn’t have to worry. Yuri is outside waiting, and nobody is going to mess with him. He walks around and says, this place is pretty cool, and Jason asks if Danny’s mom knows he’s here. Danny says, it’s fine. Brook has her running some last-minute errands for the wedding tomorrow, so she dropped him, Rocco, and Scout off at the Quartermaines. Jason says, that’s right. It’s Brook and Chase’s wedding tomorrow. Danny says, that’s why he’s here. Grandma Monica has a message for him.

McConkey says, when he ran a search on Drew, what does Drew think was the first thing that popped up? and Drew says, his conviction for SEC violations. McConkey asks if Drew thought he wouldn’t find out. Popular assumptions aside, politicians do their own research. Drew says he wasn’t trying to hide it from McConkey, and McConkey says, because Drew wouldn’t want to open with that when he’s trying to sell him on the esplanade. Drew says, it wasn’t relevant to the deal, and yes, had he brought that up, it would have been the only thing McConkey was thinking about, and he would have gotten an immediate no on the esplanade. He had to make McConkey fall in love with the project first. McConkey asks, what makes Drew think he won’t pull out now? and Drew says, because it’s a great idea for Port Charles, and if his name is an obstacle, they’ll just leave it out. He’ll delegate everything to his nephew Michael, so there isn’t even a hint of scandal. McConkey says, really? He’d do that even though it’s his idea? Drew says, of course (🍷) he would. It’s not about him. This is about doing something great for Port Charles. McConkey says, sounds like a campaign slogan, and Drew says, this is his home. It’s where his daughter is growing up. And if he has the chance to make it an even better place, why would he sacrifice that to stroke his own ego? McConkey says he’s glad to hear Drew say that. Fun fact. You can still be convicted and serve in the US House of Representatives.

Jason asks, how is Monica? and Danny says, she’s pretty good. She still has pneumonia, but she says she’ll be back to normal by the summer. She has to stay in bed and rest up until then though. Jason says he’s glad she has Danny as her messenger, and Danny says, that’s why he’s here. She needs Jason to represent her at Brook’s wedding.

Anna says, if her career has been all about redemption, what’s at the heart of Valentin’s? and he says, crippling self-doubt. She says, that’s funny. No. She thinks it’s the opposite. She thinks he’s always believed her was smarter than everyone else. (Isn’t he?) He says he doesn’t feel the need to analyze what motivates him. He doesn’t think he’d like what he finds. She says, that’s disappointing, to be honest. She thinks self-reflection is very good for the soul. Others have always found plenty about him to like, love even, herself included. He says, she knows the whole story, doesn’t she? and she asks what he means. He says, the chip on his shoulder. How badly he wanted to fit in at the WSB, and when that didn’t happen, he went his own way and hurt a lot of people, did a lot of bad things for a long time. She says, which she knows he regretted, and he says, Charlotte came along. She made him want to be a better man. But he doesn’t think you can ever close the door on your past, not entirely. So he compartmentalizes to ensure that whatever he does, or feels compelled to do, doesn’t affect the things and the people he loves the most.

Ava asks, what is it that John wants to know? and John asks if Sonny has received any overtures from the other crime families. Does he have any theories on why he’s being targeted? She says she doesn’t speak for him. John is going to have to ask Sonny these questions. He says, Sonny won’t talk to him, and she says, Sonny doesn’t talk to her either, not about that kind of stuff anyway. He says he finds that hard to believe. She was glued to Sonny’s side the night of the warehouse shooting and barely left it since. And she’s a member of the Jerome crime family. She had mob ambitions of her own a few years ago. She says she doesn’t know what he’s getting at, but her business here is totally legitimate, and he says, that’s good to know, but he’s more interested in her relationship with Sonny. Is she in love with him, or is she setting him up for a takeover? She says, how dare he? and he asks, what’s her endgame? Is she planning to walk away with control of Sonny’s organization? She says, her endgame is co-parenting a child she and Sonny both adore, and he says, she needs to live with Sonny to do that? She says, not that it’s any of his business, but she’s between residences. Sonny offered his place, and she took him up on it, because she wants to keep her daughter safe since somebody keeps shooting at her father. Crimes he hasn’t been able to solve, by the way. He says, she can try to turn this around on him, but it’s obvious she knows more than she’s saying. So consider herself on notice. Sonny’s a person of interest for the FBI, and now, so is she. So if she gets the feeling she’s being watched, it’s because she is.

McConkey tells Drew that he has Stage IV lung cancer. Hearing those words, getting his ticket punched, makes him wonder just what he wants to leave as a legacy. He got into politics to help people and he wants his seat to go to someone who desires to serve their country. But the people in his party want him to endorse somebody who is either a crook or a moron or sometimes both. (Well, that fits right in with mostly what we have now.) Drew says, that’s a tough position to be in, and McConkey says he liked what he saw when they were talking before. Drew has convictions (no, just one – ha-ha) and he’s not afraid to stand up for them. He believes Drew would use the office to do good things. Drew says, that’s very kind of him, but he doesn’t think he has the pedigree for politics, and McConkey says, clearly he can handle tough situations, which is good, because politics is not for the faint of heart. Not to mention, Drew is rich, which means of course (🍷), that he won’t have to bow down to the lobbyists to get something done. Drew says, it may be technically legal for an ex-convict to run for Congress, but who’s going to vote for him? and McConkey says, the world loves a comeback, and Drew is kind of a cowboy hero. He thinks Drew is a good fit for it. Drew says, even so, you need more than just a good story to win an election, and McConkey says, that’s true. Drew needs him.

Alexis reads, and so, after presenting all the evidence, I’m asking you to render the only verdict that respects the law and precedent and overturn my disbarment. Thank you. What does Gregory think? He says, with the caveat that he’s obviously not a lawyer… and she says she’s asking for a rhetorical review, not a legal analysis. He says he thinks she’s off to a really good start, but it could definitely use some streamlining. His guess is, because it’s so personal to her, she’s gotten caught in the trap of restating her argument too many times in the hopes of winning them over. She says, that’s a good note. She’ll take a look at it. What about the logic? Did she make her case? He says, she has a really strong argument to overturn her disbarment. She’s clear and articulate. She has a great command of her subject matter. As far as he’s concerned, she has all the elements necessary to triumph. All except one.

Alexis asks, what element of her summation was missing? and he says, luck. She says she wasn’t expecting him to say that, and he hands her a medal, saying, he got this medal in 7^th grade. She reads, debate, first place, and he says, winning this changed the course of his life. It gave him the confidence to pursue the things he wanted in life. He’s had it with him ever since, every debate, every big lecture, every public engagement. Even when he was defending his dissertation. It will fit right in her pocket, and it’s guaranteed to bestow good luck on whoever holds it, which is why he’s giving it to her. Because no one deserves a win more than her. She kisses his cheek, and they hug. She looks at the medal behind his back.

McConkey tells Drew, no one wants to say no to a dying man. How would that look? If he endorses Drew, the rest of his party will fall in line. Then he’ll put his considerable resources to work, making sure Drew gets elected. Drew tells him that he can’t say how flattered he is at McConkey’s belief in him, but he’s never even considered a career in politics. McConkey says, get considering and fast. It’s already May. They’ve only got a few months before the election. If Drew’s not interested, he understands and he’ll move on, but he thinks Drew’s making a huge mistake. He could do some great things and has a real chance at winning. He might also want to change his name to Quartermaine. He gets up and they shake hands. He says, they’ll talk, and he leaves.

Valentin asks if Anna would care for a nightcap, but she says, not tonight. Maybe next time? He says he’s happy to hear there will be a next time. His place? He’ll cook for her. She says, really? What? He says, if she wants to find out, she has to show up, and she says she looks forward to it.

John says, Ava dropped her daughter off at school, she went to the hospital where she spoke to the chief pharmacist, then she went back home, and then she finally came here to work. It’s a wonder the gallery is so successful, given the odd hours she keeps. She says, bastard. You stay the hell away from me. He says he’s been tasked with uncovering why Sonny’s being targeted. So he’ll be using the full weight of the FBI to investigate whomever he wants until this case is resolved.

Danny tells Jason, Monica said she’s not well enough to attend Brook’s wedding, so she needs Jason to go in place of her. She knows he doesn’t like wearing a suit and tie, but she said he can handle anything for a few hours. Jason says, all right, he’ll go. He can’t argue with Monica, and now Danny. It’s late. He’ll give Danny a ride home. Danny says, what about Yuri? and Jason says he’ll explain to Yuri that he can give his son a ride home. They leave together.

Tomorrow, Ned asks Tracy if he’s in trouble; Spinelli tells Jason, welcome home; Olivia tells Sonny, everything’s got to go off without a hitch; and Chase says he’s never been more ready for anything.

Vanderpump Rules –Reunion Part 1

We see Sandoval whining about wanting Ariana to talk to him, and Ariana says she just wants Sandoval away from her and gone.

Then, 7 hours earlier…

Everyone gets ready to go out on stage. Andy says, this group is in desperate need of a mediator, but Ann wasn’t available tonight, so he’s going to try. We flash back to various points in the season and last year’s Reunion. We see a clip where Katie says, by the time this Reunion airs, the sandwich shop will be open, and I wonder if it’s even opened by now. Andy says, Ariana is breaking box office records in Chicago, and having the time of her life. I want to know how she’s breaking those records since there has been a rotation of actual stars for years. We find out Lala bought a new house just in time for her new arrival due September 1^st. Scheana also bought a house near Lala in… the valley. Brock gets kudos for being Brock, and James says his fashion (a pink suit) is bringing the Kennedy Kennedy. Andy says, most fans were floored that Ariana and Sandoval were still living under the same roof, and we flash back to that. He asks, what’s happening with Ariana’s petition to force the sale? but she can’t talk about it since it’s ongoing. She says she’s been living in an Airbnb in NYC, but didn’t even spend last night at the house in LA. Andy asks about the LEGO art, and Scheana says, they never saw what she did. We see clip of her covering it with a blanket, and Andy asks, what happened with Schwartz’s proposal to be Sandoval’s roommate? I notice Sandoval just keeps looking down for most the part. Schwartz says he goes back and forth, which is no surprise, since he can never pick a lane about anything. He says he also has reservations given the house’s history. Lisa wonders why they want to be roommates when they’re grown-ups, and Sandoval says, his dad is in his 60s and has roommates. I guess I could understand not wanting to live alone, but that still sounds weird. Schwartz says, they’re thinking of an investment property, and Lisa asks if they want to buy something together. Scwartz says, maybe. Again, no surprise.

Andy says, Rachel opted out of the show, and Lisa says she can understand that, but the podcast where she’s denigrating everyone is ridiculous. Andy asks Sandoval if he thought she was coming back, and Sandoval says he encouraged her to take time with any decisions, which I guess is Sandoval speak for, she’s not talking to me anymore. Lala thinks if she had come back, there could have been a productive conversation, but she stands by what she said at the Reunion. Ariana says she does too. She had the courage to stand up to her perpetrators. Lala says she gives Raquel and Sandoval credit for showing up, since Ariana had a support system. She considers herself a tough bitch, doesn’t think she could have done it. Sandoval busts out with, he thinks Raquel is a f***ing coward. She says she’s moving on, but she’s still talking about everyone. Schwartz says, she calls herself the victim, and Sandoval says, they were both responsible. Lala and Sandoval argue over the word groom. Sandoval says it refers to pedophilia, but Lala explains that it’s exerting power over an impressionable person. She says, only Sandoval and Raquel know what was going on, and they both have different versions. She tends to lean toward the chick’s version, but she doesn’t like that Raquel is targeting the women who helped her. Sandoval says, they both pursued it, and I’m bored with him at this point. Andy mentions that Raquel is suing Ariana and Sandoval for revenge porn, and asks the status of that. Again, it’s a verboten topic, but Scheana says, it’s ridiculous. Ariana wasn’t distributing anything, and didn’t Raquel put her through enough? Ariana says she’s constantly brought back into it, and Sandoval says he’s questioning if Raquel has a soul. My how things have changed since the last Reunion. Andy asks for James’s take on it, and James says he’s exhausted just talking about it. Andy says, he brought Raquel into the group, and James says, sorry. Like it’s his fault and he should have kept her on a leash.

Andy says, Sandoval told Lisa that, in the aftermath, he was having suicidal thoughts, and we flash back to that. Andy asks how he’s doing now, and Sandoval says he has his ups downs. Anything he says or does is scrutinized. He’s not perfect and not the smartest guy – truth! – and it can be difficult. Andy says, Scheana and Lala seemed to change their thoughts about Sandoval, and Lala says, if she claims what Sandoval is saying isn’t true, then something happens, she didn’t want it on her. Scheana talks about a friend who committed suicide, and how at the end of their last conversation, she’d said they brought on their own problems. She feels guilty and it’s tough for her not to be affected by that. Ariana says she chose not to be part of the conversation to crucify Sandoval (she probably didn’t have time), and Sandoval wants to know how he weaponized her thoughts about suicide. Scheana says, they talked about this, and we flash back to Sandoval telling her that Ariana threatened to kill herself if he ended the relationship. Sandoval says, he thought it was a textbook manipulation tactic, but Scheana says, if he wanted to call bullsh*t, he should have walked out, and he didn’t. Ariana smiles. Andy says, Sandoval compared the affair to George Floyd and OJ Simpson. Why should they believe he’s grown and changed? He’s obviously made inroads with some of the cast and faced an incredible amount of backlash. Sandoval says he was talking about the absurdity between the affair and the big things in the news. Lala says, those things were newsworthy, where his story wasn’t, and he says he was sandwiched between the Ukrainian war and something else. Why was CNN talking about it? Lala says, everyone was talking about it, but it was a joke compared to real world problems. Katie says, what he meant doesn’t matter. What matters is the impact it made.

Andy congratulates Lala on expecting a baby girl, and we find out the father is the donor selected at the party. We flash back to that, and Lala says, Ocean is excited. Andy asks about her custody agreement, and she says she doesn’t see an end to it any time soon. She tears up and says she’s giving Ocean consistency and a sibling. Randall’s other kids are older and can understand why they’re going back and forth. Andy asks if she talks to Randall’s ex-wife, and she says she and Amber are very close and get the kids together when they can. Andy asks if she dates, and she says, the men are a-knockin’ now that I’m knocked up. She overshares about being horny while pregnant and says, no man or woman is safe. Andy asks, how old is Summer Moon now? and Scheana says, she’ll be three next month. Gaby and her mom are still doing the babysitting duties. Andy says he never heard of post-partum OCD, and she says she hadn’t either, but sometimes it’s mistaken for post-partum depression. The joy she feels makes her sad. We see a clip of her fretting about either her or Brock dying one day. Andy asks if Scheana’s concerns about Brock and Lala were from the OCD or what happened with Scandoval, and she says she thinks Scandoval  was what triggered it. At times, she also lives in the comments section, and gets distressed by what people are suggesting. Lala says she makes Scheana a promise, that will never happen. She feels a certain way about Brock because Brock stepped up to the plate when there were no men around to help her navigate, but that would never happen. We find out Brock and Scheana took a trip to Australia, but Brock didn’t see his other kids. He’s been up to date with his child support since just before the pandemic, and says, his ex isn’t keeping him from the kids, but the kids didn’t say they wanted to see him. Evidently, she’s not encouraging it either. Shame on her. Lala says he’s showing respect and being a great dad to Summer Moon, and Brock tears up about having a second chance at being a dad. Scheana says, there’s some guilt, but he’s an incredible dad. Katie says, he makes her eat her own words, and we flash back to Katie questioning why he couldn’t see kids and why he’s not sending support. She says, he’s an amazing father, and I check outside to see if pigs are flying, since Katie admitted being wrong. Everyone is so emotional over this, Andy breaks the mood by saying he appreciates how committed Brock is to his Speedos.

Andy says, Ariana bounced back from an earthshattering break-up to land on top of the world. He lists the many things she’s been offered and did or is doing (she finished third on Dancing with the Stars) and says, there’s also a new leading man in her life. He asks, how’s the relationship? and Ariana says, being across the country is difficult, but now that she’s in NYC, it’s been fun. Andy asks if she’s living with Dan, but that’s a no, and he asks if either of them have considered moving. Ariana says, Dan’s family is in New York, and her life is here, but it would be nice to be bicoastal. Andy asks if it helped or hindered Ariana’s mourning of her loss, and Ariana says she thinks it’s going to be a long time before she’s fully processed it, but she’s not putting her life on hold until she’s fully healed. Who knows when that will be? Andy asks James why he thinks he and Ally were more scrutinized for getting into their relationship so soon after his break-up with Raquel, than Ariana and Dan after Scandoval. James says, Ariana is the It Girl. He and Ally are just people who are still around. But he knew with time they would love Ally. Andy says, Sandoval has a new girlfriend, and Sandoval says, it’s going great. She doesn’t watch the show and has successful modeling career of her own and a house. We find out she dated Leonardo DiCaprio, and James gets very animated talking about the wallpaper in Sandoval’s washroom being a mural including DiCaprio. Ariana says, it’s her house and she picked it. Alrighty then. Andy asks if Lala and Schwartz were flirty this season, and we flash back to some scenes where that seems like a stretch. Lala says, that’s why she’s mean to people. If she’s kind, it comes across as flirting. She’s just not ripping him a new one. Katie says, it was mostly on Schwartz’s end, and Lala says she would never do that because of Katie, and if she did, she’d eat him alive. Schwarz says, she would devour him.

Someone has to pee, causing a ripple effect of most of the cast either going to the bathroom or to get coffee. Andy weakly says, but they’re not taking a break, reminding me of Donald Sutherland in Animal House, trying to get the attention of his students. No one cares, and Lala tells James that she has pregnancy brain. She doesn’t even know what anyone is saying.

Andy says, after a decade of parties, Pumptinis, and panic attacks from Schwartz, Lisa closed PUMP for good. He asks if she thinks it was the right decision in retrospect, and Lisa says, being open 10 years means it was successful, but they couldn’t turn a profit after the rent increase. Andy says, she moved some of the operations to TomTom, and wonders why she didn’t consult with the Toms first. She says, it was in mid backlash, and they were even talking about changing the name. Andy asks if the Toms felt Lisa imposed on them, and Schwartz asks if he means diluting the brand. That’s a no. Andy asks what the brand even is, and Schwartz says, it’s ever evolving. So, in other words, it’s no brand. Andy asks, why the delays with the sandwich shop? and we flash back to Katie saying it would be open by the end of May. Katie says, they didn’t know how much red tape there would be, but Lisa says, it’s a multitude of things. Andy says, Schwartz & Sandy’s took a lot of grief for it’s slow opening, and asks if Schwartz is mocking them. Schwartz says he feels their pain, but James says he noticed a smile. We flash back and yep, Schwartz smiled. Sandoval says, it’s more like, now they get it. Andy asks how Ariana felt about Lala interacting with Sandoval. Did she want to take a step back from Lala? Arian says she hasn’t watched the show this season like she did with previous seasons. She didn’t want to get dragged back when she’s trying to live in the present. Lala says she’s been transparent, and Ariana says she appreciates that about Lala. She was aware Lala was working through stuff. Andy says, there was something between Lala and Katie, and we flash back to them butting heads. He asks what they think is at the root of why they’re not connecting, and Katie says, it started with her and Scheana getting close. Lala says she treats her enemies like enemies, and wants to choose her words wisely when she talks to Katie. It’s what Katie put in the DMs, talking about her custody battle. Katie said she should get rid of her lawyer and that she needs a f***ing therapist. She’s a f***ing clown.

Katie becomes a total idiot and says she doesn’t think she said anything about Lala’s custody battle, like Lala doesn’t remember every detail when it comes to her child. Lala says, that’s why they were on rocky ground. Then on girls’ night, Katie jumped down her throat. We flash back to Katie accusing Lala of making Ariana’s situation about her. Lala says, she was giving Ariana a heads up. She would have paid money for someone to say they’ve been where she is and this is what they did. She doesn’t like what Katie is doing. Behind the scenes, Katie complained about Ariana and said, basically Ariana abandoned her and the sandwich shop. Katie denies, denies, denies, and Scheana asks if she didn’t complain when Ariana left for NYC with no heads up. Katie says, that’s the one time. She didn’t find out until after it was happening, but her issues have to do with her own insecurities. Lala says, they’re both truth tellers and wants to know why she’s the enemy in front of the camera. Andy asks if she’s saying Katie is different on and off camera, and Lala says, a few people are living in the comments section. Katie is one, and Scheana. James maybe. James says, don’t throw him in there, and Lala says, it’s no secret that Ariana is a fan favorite, and you don’t f*** around with that. Katies says she didn’t want to guilt Ariana, and Lala says, Katie lost her mind on her. Katie says, Lala wanted her to throw Ariana under the bus, but Lala says she wants to film the show honestly. Katie insists she’s been the same person the whole time, and Lala says, Katie told her that she wasn’t saying anything because she’d put money into the shop. Katie told her that if Lala f***ed with her business, she would f*** with Lala’s business. The difference is, Katie has no business – it’s Nothing About Her – but Lala’s business is her livelihood.

Next time, Ally and Jo join the group; Sandoval says he’s keeping his mouth shut about things he’s heard; Katie says she was dealing with a lot of sh*t and the last thing she needed was Jo; and Ariana says, Lala talks louder so she must be right.

📺 This Is What Happened Live…

One of the best episodes of Watch What Happens Live ever. Lisa, along with Puffy (!) and Gordon Ramsay. Lisa was immediately on the funniest roll ever, and while he was a man of fewer words, Gordon was no slouch either. I couldn’t possibly explain it, so just watch.

🔥 Putting Out the Proud Mary Fire…

Join me tomorrow for soap and finding out what Chef is on Top. Until then, stay safe, stay making introductions sooner than later (the later it gets, the more awkward it is), and stay not pretending what happened in the past didn’t happen. Acknowledge it and get over it and beyond it. Move on.