What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna goes to Pozzulo’s and Sonny asks how she’s holding up. She apologizes for just wearing jeans, and says she had to get some clothes. He says, she could wear a burlap sack, and she’d still look great. She thanks him, and he asks if she’s hungry, because he’s been cooking in the kitchen. She asks what he’s making, and he says, a very special lunch.

Sasha rocks back and forth on her bed, when Janice comes in and asks if she’s up for a visitor. Sasha says, no, no, no, and Gladys comes in and asks, what’s wrong with her? Janice tells her, Dr. Montague said she’s going through withdrawal, and Gladys says, from what? Drugs? That doesn’t make any sense. Hasn’t she gone through withdrawal already? Janice says, unfortunately, Dr. Montague said she’s been using in Ferncliff. She must have found someone to bring her drugs. Gladys says, who? How? She’s not allowed any visitors. She’s the only one who gets to see Sasha. Janice says, the medical staff gets to see her, and so does the custodial staff. Gladys would be surprised what an addict will do in order to get what they want.

Selina sees Marshall sipping a drink at a table near the pool, and says, so nice to see him again. They’re blessed with a beautiful day. Is he here for a swim? He says he’s waiting on his sister-in-law, and Selina says, since she hasn’t arrived yet, this is a great opportunity for them to revisit her offer to purchase The Savoy.

Deanna hugs Stella and says, it’s so great having her back working here. Stella says, as long as her family needs her – and Lord, do they ever – she’s sticking around Port Charles. She might as well keep busy and earn some extra money while she’s at it.

Ava arrives at the gallery, which has loads of bird paintings on the walls (this figures in later), and goes through the stuff on her desk. She hears something and picks up a three-hole hole puncher (which is pretty hefty). She stands by the door waiting, when Trina comes in. Ava says, Trina scared her, and Trina says she’s so sorry. What is Ava doing here? How’s Avery? Is she okay? Ava asks, what’s wrong with Avery?

Carly wonders what Austin is doing at Pentenville, and Drew says, he has his doctor bag with him. Maybe he’s seeing a patient or doing some kind of community service or something. She says she never liked that guy. He manipulated Chase into spying on the Quartermaines. Drew says he remembers that, and she says she can’t figure out what his deal is. (That’s okay. Neither can the rest of us.) There’s something about him that she doesn’t trust.

The guard tells Austin, there’s his patient, and Cyrus gets up. He says, Dr. Gatlin-Holt, it’s so nice to see you again, and it’s good to know someone still makes house calls. Austin says, how about if they just get this over with?

Trina tells Ava that Josslyn said Avery was sick; she has a cold. She thinks the new nanny told Josslyn that. Joss is not a fan of hers. Ava says she thinks they might have made a mistake letting Pilar go. She did make a mistake, that’s true, but Avery likes her so much and was so comfortable with her. Just because someone has a spotless reputation as a nanny doesn’t mean that person is the right person to take care of your child. Trina asks if she’s talking about Pilar or Betty, and Ava says she thinks she and Sonny should give Pilar another chance. But enough about that. How is Trina? How’s her summer? How’s Spencer? Trina says she wouldn’t know. Ava would have to ask Esme.

Carly tells Drew that she’s sure Austin has a very good reason for being at Pentenville, and she’s not wasting any more time speculating about it. He says he likes the sound of that, and she says she wants to focus on him. He told her that he saved Cyrus’s life, and that means every inmate in here thinks Drew is his ally. A guard brings Dex in and seats him at a table, and Carly asks if it doesn’t put Drew in even more danger. He says, that’s the way life works in prison. You can’t stay neutral. Like it or not, everybody in here – everybody – is allied with somebody else. Book walks in, and Carly says, Drew didn’t answer her question. Does that mean Cyrus’s enemies will now be targeting him? Book sits down with Dex.

Austin listens to Cyrus’s heart and says, he’s a lucky man. Cyrus says, yes, he knows. The good Lord chose to keep him on this earth a while longer so he can continue doing His work. Austin says, no. Cyrus is a lucky man because he had a heart attack in front of a trained Navy SEAL who knew enough to keep him alive until the medical professionals could arrive. He was lucky Drew Cain was there to intervene. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be alive. Cyrus says he’s thankful God chose to put Drew in his path that day. That whole experience was enlightening in so many ways. Austin says he’s sure. And if that helps Cyrus sleep at night, he’s happy for him. Austin is a fan of science, and this is medicine. He holds up a pill bottle and says, this is for Cyrus’s heart. It’ll unclog his arteries. He’s to take it once a day with baby aspirin. Cyrus says, really, doc, that’s it? No lollipop?

Anna says, this is so delicious. Who taught Sonny to cook? He says he taught himself. Cooking relaxes him. Anna says she rarely cooks. She’s learned to like it a bit more, but she can’t remember the last time she spent a significant amount of time in her kitchen. He says he’s sorry her house burned down, and she says she thinks it’s hitting her harder than she thought it would. He says, it’s her home; she’s going to be hurt. She says she hasn’t been there that long. The stuff inside, it’s just things, like furniture and clothes. She has to remind herself that no one was hurt. Like, what if Robin and the kids had been visiting or Charlotte was home? That’s the stuff she keeps running around in her head. He says, the important thing is nobody was hurt, that’s true, but it’s her home. She picked out the furniture, her clothes… She felt safe, and someone deliberately destroyed that. They wanted to take what she valued and leave her with nothing. She says, yeah. Whoever is out there trying to ruin her life, they’re doing a pretty good job.

Stella sits next to a young woman and introduces herself. She says she was told the woman’s mother was brought in with a lung issue and was put on a ventilator. She knows that must be very scary for her. Felicia walks in and watches from a distance. Stella asks if there’s anyone she can call to be with the woman; dad, grandparents, a sibling? The woman says, it’s just her and her mom. Her mom can’t talk and she doesn’t know what the doctors are saying to her. Stella says, that’s where she comes in. Her job is to help the woman understand all the medical jargon so she knows exactly what’s going on with her mom. Okay? The woman nods, and Stella asks her name. She says, Joanie, and Stella says, good name. She’s got a friend back home named Joanie. And her mother’s name? Deanna tells Felicia, she’s pretty amazing, isn’t she? and Felicia says, she knows exactly what to say. Deanna says, they see it here all the time. Stella is hands down the best patient advocate they have. If anything ever happened to her, she’d want Stella in her corner.

Selina sits down, and Marshall says he didn’t ask her to join him. She says she finds it so much more civilized to discuss business in comfort, but he says, they have no business to discuss. He thought he told her, The Savoy’s not for sale. She says, yes, but that conversation happened in front of his son, who has suffered a devastating injury. She can understand Marshall not wanting to discuss taking anything else away from him, but they’re alone now. It’s time for him to face reality. Either sell the club to her, or simply put, The Savoy will go under.

Gladys asks if Sasha knows who she is, and Sasha says, Gladys. She doesn’t understand. Why is this happening? Gladys asks, why is what happening? and Sasha says, everything hurts. Is Brando coming? Gladys says, we lost Brando. He’s not coming. Sasha says, no, no, no. She needs him. She needs Brando. Everything hurts. Dr. Montague comes in, and Gladys asks what he’s done to her daughter-in-law.

Sonny asks if there are any leads on who burned down Anna’s house, and she says she was with Dante this morning at the PCPD, but nothing. He says he’s asked around, but he hasn’t heard anything. He’s trying to figure out if the shooting at the pool was meant for her or him, but if she was the target, does she think there’s a connection between the fire and the shooting? She says she doesn’t know. She’s not sure what’s more upsetting; the thought that there’s an individual out there laser focused on ruining her life, or that there are multiple people out there after them. He says he’d still like to offer her protection, and she thanks him. She says, Dante offered her that this morning too, but she’ll tell Sonny what she told him. Thank you, but no. He says, Dante’s a cop. It makes sense for him to guard her, but if she doesn’t want the cops to track her… He’s just a friend who’s worried about her safety.

Book asks what Dex wants, and Dex says he works for Sonny Corinthos. He sent him with a message for Book. Book asks, what’s that?

Carly says, Drew shouldn’t have to take on Cyrus’s enemies. She can only imagine that’s one helluva list. He says he can’t undo what’s already happened. Like it or not, he set something in motion when he stepped in to help Cyrus. There’s no way to stop it. She says, that’s where he’s wrong, and he asks, why? What is she thinking? She says she’s thinking they can avoid all this by focusing on getting him out of here.

Cyrus takes the top off the bottle and says he’s glad it’s not a childproof cap. Austin says, again, lucky you, and Cyrus looks on the underside of the cap, seeing the flashdrive, and says, ah. God certainly works in mysterious ways. He puts the cap back on, and Austin says, all right. He’s done everything Cyrus has asked him to do, and it’s Cyrus’s turn to repay the favor. Do unto others, right? That’s the basics for his newfound faith, right? Because he’s done. He’s done cleaning up Cyrus’s messes, he’s done cleaning up Mason’s messes, he’s done risking the integrity of General Hospital, and putting innocent people at risk. He’s done. He’s more than paid off his debt. He wants out. Cyrus says, does he now?

Ava says, it can’t be easy watching Spencer and Esme play house with Spencer’s little brother, and Trina says, yeah. She doesn’t blame Spencer. If she had a little brother whose mother was Esme, she wouldn’t take her eyes off him. Ava says she understands Spencer’s impulse; he’s worried about Ace. Spencer approaches the gallery entrance, and Trina says she gets that. Family is too important to take for granted. She sees that with her mom and everything that’s going on with Curtis… She means, her dad. So she doesn’t blame Spencer for standing by his little brother; that’s what family does.

Stella says she has some answers for Joanie. She spoke with Dr. Burns, and he said he put her mother on a ventilator because her lung collapsed, and he also thinks there might be possible infection. So he’s ordered some other tests to figure out why her lung collapsed in the first place  and what could be causing the potential infection. And he may need to put a stent in her lung to help her breathe better. It’s a serious situation, but it is far from being fatal, and Dr. Burns expects her mom to make a full recovery. Joanie starts to cry, and says, really? She hugs Stella and thanks her. Felicia watches and smiles.

Gladys says she wants Sasha out of this place today, but Montague says, take a look at her daughter-in-law. She’s in no shape to be released; she’s a mess. Gladys says, because of him. He put her in this nuthouse and he can get her out. He says, so she can go straight to prison? She says, all of this is too much and she wants it to stop, and he says, anything she wants… after she pays him for all his trouble. He’d say fifty thousand will do the trick.

Spencer comes into the gallery and says, this new showing is amazing. He always said Ava’s gallery is for the birds. (BA-DUM-CHH!) Trina says, funny, hugging him, and he asks if it’s somebody he’s familiar with, but Ava says, no. It’s a very talented up and comer she happens to have great faith in. Trina can tell him all about it. She’s going to go take care of what she and Trina discussed earlier. She leaves, and Spencer asks Trina to tell him about this new showing. It sounds very cool, very exciting. She says, he hasn’t seen her in forever, and he really wants to talk about the new art exhibit when they have much better things to do? He says, like what? and she says, like this, kissing him.

A nurse comes out and says, Joanie’s mom is asking for her. Stella says she told Joanie that her mom is going to be okay, and Joanie thanks her for everything. They hug, and Stella says she’s so welcome. Now go see her mom, and if she needs anything after, Stella will be right here. Joanie leaves with the nurse, and Felicia approaches Stella. She says, they’ve never met before, but she’s Felicia Scorpio. Stella asks what she can help Felicia with, and Felicia says she was observing Stella with that young girl. The way Stella comforted her was really remarkable. Stella thanks her, but says she was just doing her job. Felicia says, which is what exactly? and Stella says, a social worker. Here at GH, she’s a patient advocate. She helps patients and families of patients navigate their way through the healthcare system. It can be very daunting for the average person. Felicia says, it must be very rewarding to help people, and Stella says, it’s a very rewarding job, but you also have to remember, not every patient gets better. There are some rough days too.

Marshall says, if his son doesn’t sell her the club, Selina is going to run The Savoy out of business? but Selina says she’s sorry. Allow her to clarify. She’s just stating the truth. Curtis isn’t capable physically of running The Savoy right now and Marshall isn’t qualified to run the hippest club in town. (Ouch.) He doesn’t have the connections, or know the ins and outs to keep it going. He says he’ll tell her what he does know. He knows she’s running an illegal poker game in the back room, and in his first act as manager, her poker game is done. Her being welcomed at the club anymore is done. And whatever she’s got on Curtis and whatever arrangement she has with Curtis is done. She ain’t got nothing on him. She says, he’s lived long enough to know how life works. Everyone has something that can be used against them. It’s just a matter of her finding out what his is.

Personal note. Selina would have nothin’ on me either. I’ve always been an open book just in case I get famous, so the tabloids would have nothing on me. Whatever it is, I’ve already outed myself.  

Gladys says, fifty thousand dollars? She doesn’t have that kind of money. Montague says, but Sasha does, and Gladys is in charge of her finances. So she does have that kind of money. She says, it’s not like it’s liquid. It’s not like it’s sitting in some account somewhere. She has to sell stock, and she’s already in debt to Selina Wu. (Didn’t he pay that off for her? Isn’t that how we got here in the first place?) He says, then if he were her, he’d find a way to figure it out, because Sasha isn’t leaving Ferncliff until he gets paid.

Anna says she really appreciates Sonny’s friendship. It’s nice. It feels… well, it comes with amazing food. He laughs, and she says, now that she’s not in law enforcement, it’s a lot less complicated too. He says, so she agrees to have his guys watch her, but she says, no. She doesn’t want his people following her, because she treasures her privacy… and her autonomy. He says he could still have his guys follow her, and she tells him, think about that for a second. How does that work? If she has strangers trailing her, she’s not going to know if they’re his guys following her or the bad guys, so he can see how that would be confusing. He says, all right. He won’t pressure her. He just wants her to know he’s here, he’s available, and he has a lot of resources if she needs them. She says she knows he means it. She also knows he has challenges of his own. He says he can handle that, and asks if she wants more parmesan. She says, that remedies everything, and he sprinkles some on her pasta.

Dex tells Book, Mr. Corinthos wants Drew Cain to be left alone. Don’t mess with him. Don’t approach him. Nothing.

Drew tells Carly that he pled guilty. He accepted the verdict. There’s no way to get out of that. Carly says she disagrees. The sentence the judge imposed on him was unfair and wrong, and it wasn’t what he agreed to with the DA. (Talk to Roman Polanski about that one.) There has to be a way to appeal it, get it overturned, and get him the hell out of here.

Cyrus says, Austin wants out. Just like that. Austin says, just like that. He’s hopeful Cyrus is going to be open to the idea because they go way back, don’t they? When he was a kid, when Cyrus showed up at the house, it was like Christmas morning. It’s the only time in his childhood that he can remember his mom stopped crying. It was great. For her, it was like it was her birthday or something, every single time. And it was so good for him, a relief. For those little chunks of time, he didn’t have to be her perfect little man. And he’s so grateful. He really is. He thanks Cyrus, and thanks him for paying for his education. He thanks Cyrus for checking on him all of those years. He’s grateful, but that’s enough. It’s enough. Because now it’s just all the downside. Little by little, Cyrus roped him into this world he doesn’t belong in. Whatever gratitude that was between them, Cyrus manipulated it. Any love that might have been between them, Cyrus twisted it. He’s exploited Austin’s skills as a doctor and used him. Cyrus has coerced him and forced him to do things he didn’t even think a person could ever do. He didn’t know he was capable of that. He looked Ava Jerome right in the eyes and lied to her, a beautiful woman. He told her that her husband was dead. Who does that? He’s done. Ava deserves to know the truth. She deserves to know Nikolas is alive and he’s the reason. He saved Nikolas’s life.

Spencer tells Trina that he doesn’t want Ace to suffer the same fate he did. He knows that’s far from ideal with him living at his grandmother’s house with Esme and Ace, while she’s off looking for his father. His hope is that his living situation improves once his grandmother and Doc get back. He knows his family situation is really complicated. He wishes it was something simple like Trina has. She says, had. With Curtis being shot and paralyzed, her life is far from being ideal. Spencer asks how he’s doing, and she says, it’s hard seeing him like that. And her mom too, because she wants to help him so badly. He keeps shutting her mom out, and the worst part is, there’s nothing she can do to make it better. She just feels like… He pulls her close and holds her.

Carly says, Drew’s sentence was harsh and arbitrary, and there has to be a judge out there who will at least review it. Diane is the perfect person to find that judge and plead Drew’s case. Drew says he hates being in here; he hates it. He hates being away from her and Scout, but he has to do the time. She says, no he doesn’t, if there’s a chance they can get him to overturn… He says, just hoping for an early release is its own form of torture.

Book tells Dex that he wasn’t going after Drew. He was going after Cyrus and Drew got in the middle. Otherwise, he would have left Drew alone. Dex says, Mr. Corinthos doesn’t want any explanations or excuses. He wants full compliance. So even if Drew spends all day every day with Cyrus Renault, that’s his business. Book doesn’t go anywhere near him.

Austin tells Cyrus, this thing he did with Nikolas is the last thing he does. Where are they at now? Cyrus smiles, and Austin says, that’s it? He’s got nothing to say? Cyrus says, go in peace, and sits down. Austin gets his bag and asks what Cyrus is planning to do with the information he just gave to him. Cyrus says he’ll do what he should have been doing all along. God’s work. Austin gives him a puzzled look, and leaves. Cyrus looks at the bottle and smiles.

Gladys runs into Selina at the pool, and says she was hoping to find Selina here. Selina says, that must mean Gladys has her next payment, and Gladys says, about that. There’s a little problem getting the money together. Some kind of hold was put on Sasha’s Deception, but don’t worry. She’ll do everything she can to clear it up quick. Selina says she’s not here to listen to Gladys’s problems. She wants her money.

Jordan and Anna sit at a poolside table, and Jordan says she’s worried about Anna. It’s unfortunate she can’t head up the investigation into the fire, since she accepted this new role as Deputy Mayor, but she needs Anna to know, she’s monitoring Anna’s case. Anna thanks her, and says she appreciates what everyone is doing, but it’s strange there aren’t any leads. She finds that quite interesting. Jordan asks if she thinks the arson could be connected to the shooting here that injured Curtis.

Stella tells Marshall that she’s so sorry to keep him waiting, but he says, no need to apologize. What she’s doing at GH is important. She says she couldn’t agree with him more, and she thinks she might have recruited someone new to join her department.

Spencer tells Trina that he wouldn’t count Curtis out just yet. It’s really hard for him to imagine someone as active and vital as Curtis facing life in a wheelchair. Does she remember what kind of badass he was in Greenland? He was amazing. Spencer thinks she really needs to trust that Curtis will figure this out. And as soon as he gets his thoughts together, Curtis is going to do the right thing by her mom. She says she just wishes she could do something, but he says, she can’t put that on herself. He thinks ultimately, she needs to remember that this is something between her mom Curtis, and even though he views her as Superwoman, this is one battle her mom is going to need to fight on her own. And what’s more, her mom is one hell of a doctor. She’s not going to let Curtis get anything but the very best care he could possibly have, no matter what he says. The most important thing Trina can do, is stand by her parents. Because that’s what family does.

At Pozullo’s, Ava says she did just what Sonny asked her to do. She went to Austin and asked if Betty found any information on Sonny and Pikeman. Sonny asks what he said, and Ava tells him that Austin assured her they have everything they need. And that as soon as the information is given to their boss, they’ll get Nikolas’s body back, and this will all be over. He asks if she thinks Austin believes that. Does she think Mason and the mystery boss are just going to hand Nikolas’s body over to them, and lose whatever leverage they have?

Dex says, Book wants to stay on Mr. Corinthos’s good side. Not only is he going to avoid any trouble with Drew, he’s going to help Drew out if he gets into trouble with anyone else. Book says, got it. But for the record, Drew is pretty good at taking care of himself.

Carly says, this is Drew’s life, and she’s going to fight for him. If there’s the slightest chance they can get him out of here, they’re going to take it.

Montague tells Sasha that he does have sympathy for her. She’s so confused. She looks around and says, wait. Gladys was just here… Wasn’t she? He says, yes, she was, and Sasha asks if she’s still here. He says, no, she had to go, and Sasha asks, where’d she go? He says, Gladys went to save her, and for Sasha’s sake, she’d better hope Gladys comes through.

Gladys says, please. She’s good for the money. Selina knows that. Selina says, does she really? and Gladys says, in the past, she’s always made her payments on time. This is just a little problem with the Deception stock. Selina tells her that she already said that, and Gladys says, so Selina gets it. She just needs a little more time. Selina says, time is what Gladys doesn’t have, because she’s shutting down the poker game. Gladys says, what? Why? Selina says she doesn’t have to explain anything to Gladys. But when she closes down the poker game, she’ll also be closing down the books on it. No more extensions. No more credit. Payment in full.

Anna tells Jordan that she doesn’t have any evidence to back up her theory, but her instinct tells her the shooting here isn’t related to the arson at all. Jordan says she really wishes they had something on the shooting; any lead, even a small one. Curtis is really going through it at the rehab facility. Even though they’re fairly certain Curtis wasn’t the intended target, it would sure help him to know who was responsible for leaving him paralyzed and unable to walk.

Stella tells Marshall, someone saw her in action today at GH, and she asked Stella about her job, particularly the patient advocacy part. And she got a chance to tell her how wonderful the job could be and how it really gives you a sense of giving back to the community. Marshall asks if she really thinks she’s getting a new colleague, and Stella says, she certainly seemed receptive to the idea. He says he’s not surprised with Stella promoting it. Nothing gets in the way of her – nudge, nudge – getting her point across. She says, he can poke fun of her all he wants, but he’s not going to spoil her good mood. She believes she changed somebody’s life today. He raises his glass to her.

Felicia sits on a bench at the hospital. She smiles at Deanna, then begins to fill out a Patient Advocate Program form.

Spencer asks if that’s a smile he sees. Did he just succeed in cheering up Trina Robinson? Trina says, more like, he stopped the pity party. Because how is she going to help anyone if she’s feeling sorry for herself? So she’s going to take a deep breath – they take one together – and she’s going to promise to be there for her mom and Curtis, whatever they need from her. He says, that sounds more like the fearless person he knows she is, and she thanks him for reminding her that family is all that matters. Speaking of family, how is his little family with Esme? He laughs, and asks what she means. She says, when Laura and Doc get back, are they all going to still live together?

Ava tells Sonny, honestly, she doesn’t know from one day to the next if Austin is being sincere with her or if he’s manipulating her. The night that Nikolas died though, she would have sworn he wanted to help her. Sonny says, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what Austin believes. It’s Nikolas’s body that’s the ultimate leverage over her. They’re not going to get it back unless they find out who Austin and Mason are working for. She says, right. So let’s say his plan works, and the phony information Brick planted on the computer for Betty to find does lead Sonny to their boss. Then what? He slams his hand on the table and says he’ll deal with them.

Carly says, Diane is the best for Drew’s case. It’s her area of expertise. He says, okay. Let Diane explore their options. Carly says, Diane is going to get him out of here, but he tells her not to get her hopes up. The odds are, he’s going to have to serve the full three years. She says she doesn’t believe that, and whatever happens, she’s with him.

Dex tells Book that he’ll be back for another visit soon. He’s going to be monitoring Book closely to make sure he’s following Mr. Corinthos’s orders. Carly sees Austin leaving, and so does Dex. She and Dex lock eyes.

Tomorrow, Brook asks, what’s the emergency; Lucy tells Maxie, someone is out to bring them down with malicious intent; Cody tells Mac to take him in; and Sonny asks about Carly’s visit to Pentenville.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Shannon tells John that she felt ambushed and Emily betrayed her. John says, they need to STFU, and tells her to be careful who she trusts. As usual, Shannon blows things out of proportion. I think everyone should just ignore her relationship. Emily is going to an event for the California Innocence Project, but plans on getting back for Shannon’s taco fiesta or whatever. I’m with Emily when she says there are a lot of flaws in the legal system. In many of these cases, it’s so obvious they’re innocent. Fancy Pants tells Gina that her day was a clusterf***. She doesn’t think she’s making Shannon’s taco thing, and Gina says she doesn’t think Shannon wants her (Gina) there. In Gina’s interview, she says she’s joining Emily rather than having tacos thrown at her and being screamed at. Fancy Pants meets with Shannon and says she’s sorry Shannon is upset. She doesn’t like people saying she’s spreading info about Shannon’s relationship. She’s never initiated a conversation about it ever and isn’t spreading anything. As usual, Shannon blows everything out of proportion. In Shannon’s interview, she says she wants to think people have good intentions, but they don’t. Fancy Pants says Shannon doesn’t seem to remember who she tells what, and in Gina’s interview, she says, Shannon drinks the truth serum and it brings out the truth. In Emily’s interview, she suggests Shannon get a breathalyzer for her phone. Shannon whines that John wants privacy, and Fancy Pants suggests she not talk so much to so many people. In her interview, Fancy Pants says that Shannon has told several of them that John likes the limelight. As usual… you know the rest. Shannon abruptly ends her conversation with Fancy Pants and walks away.

There was a bunch of family stuff and fostering kittens with Jenn. Her son Dominic is adopted and came to them at 11 months, and in Jenn’s interview, she says, even though she worries about all her kids, she’s more protective of Dominic. She talks to Dominic about his birth mother, and I have to note that all her kids seem very well-adjusted. Run, Jenn, run!  

Fancy Pants signed escrow papers for the penthouse she and Terry negotiated on for 9 months, and it looks like they’re selling the house for $55 million. Fancy Pants says, it’s like having a baby. Shannon takes the news of Fancy Pants canceling calmly, and says, more tequila for her. As Shannon gets the house ready for her fiesta, Emily calls and says, it’s important they have sit-down. She cares about their friendship. Shannon says, Emily is talking to everybody else about her relationship, but Emily says, Shannon shares her relationship BS off-camera, then doesn’t take accountability for what she says. She’s two different people. Shannon makes excuses, and Emily says she’s not doing this on FaceTime, and she’s not doing it tonight. Have fun at her party. Shannon is still talking as Emily hangs up. In Emily’s interview, she says, the purpose of her call was to tell Shannon that she was going to be late, but forget it, she’s not going at all. And tacos are her favorite food, so you know she’s pissed. She tells production that she’s sick of Shannon’s BS. As usual, Shannon blows everything out of proportion, and whines to production that John’s kid doesn’t like her. She can’t say that on camera. It’s on camera? They can’t put that on camera.

We revisit the story of Terrill, a man who served time for a murder he was innocent of when he was a kid. Emily had met him early on through the Innocence Project, and Gina tells Emily that she’s a great friend and person. She’s pissed at Shannon badmouthing Emily, but thinks Shannon is in a bad spot. They meet with some of the exonerees before the gala, and one woman had been in prison for 28 years and on death row before the girl who committed the crime confessed. In Gina’s interview, she says she was in jail for less than 24 hours, and it was enough for her. Terrill is there with his little daughter, and says, he can’t get his time back, but can help another young person. Emily says he could be pissed off, but he’s kind and radiates light and positivity. In her interview, she says, when do work that’s bigger than you, it puts things in perspective. It makes you realize the things that are trivial and that you have no reason to complain. At the gala, the head guy makes a short speech, and Emily is introduced. She tells them that tonight is about money and make sure they donate. It’s also about the exonerees, and she encourages the guests to take the time to meet them and hear their stories.

In contrast, Shannon wails that six people aren’t coming. She bought 16 of everything and it was expensive. As usual, she blows things out of proportion, and in her interview, she says, it’s the worst case scenario. I guess it doesn’t occur to her that she could have no one showing up. In Tamra’s interview, she says, Shannon called her up, hysterical and crying, and telling her six people weren’t coming. She feels bad, but if you have a fight with them the night before, probably. Taylor and her husband, Jenn and Ryan, and Tamra and Eddie arrive. Shannon bitches to everyone, Señor Noodles mans the grill, and they swill tequila. Should Eddie be drinking like that?

Shannon says she’s grateful for those here. She had a tough day, but she’s with people she cares about and who care about her. Eddie says, they’re glad to be here to celebrate Shannon and John’s relationship. John says, it’s not perfect, and Eddie says, nobody’s is. In Tamra’s interview, she says, when she sees Shannon and John together, things seem good, but she doesn’t believe it. She doesn’t know if they’ll get married, but her gut tells her no, and her gut is always right. Señor Noodles says, the steaks are high, and no that’s not a typo; he holds the steaks aloft on his knife. Jenn says, it sucks to have your relationship scrutinized and to have being honest thrown back in your face. It’s not right. In Jenn’s interview, she says, no one deserves that treatment, but if you’re hiding something, this is not the group to hide info from. The food looks absolutely amazing, and Taylor says, she’s new to the friend group, so she wonders who can be trusted. Tamra tells her to look at who’s sitting at the table and who isn’t. Which could be taken two different ways. Jenn tells Shannon that Gina felt Shannon was poking around in her relationship, and we flash back to that to Gina saying, Shannon talks about her relationship, but God forbid Shannon’s relationship is talked about. Shannon says, if she’d been crying to John about David for years, he’d say get TF out. She tried to be nice to Gina and help her with her DUI a million years ago. We flash back to that, and Shannon says, Gina’s children would have gone to CPS if she hadn’t intervened. In Jenn’s interview, she says, this is not table conversation. You don’t talk about a mom, her kids, and CPS. If she was Gina, she’d be pissed. Tamra suggests they just move on, and Señor Noodles says, they need a tequila shot. He brings out a super soaker filled with tequila, and after Taylor nearly chokes on it (the tequila, not the water gun), somehow Tamra gets ahold of it. She chases Taylor around, but gets Shannon instead, then throws it in the water, saying, bad gun.

I know I don’t have to tell you how very extra and fabulous the penthouse is. I was too mesmerized to gather many details, but it’s over five thousand square feet, which is bigger than my 4-bedroom house. Roberto Cavalli did a lot of the furniture, which was included. All this for only $14 million. In her interview, Fancy Pants says, the finishes are perfection, but she wants to tweak some of the furniture. She and Terry feel like newlyweds. The view is insane, and all I can say about the main closet is, wow! She says, they’re not sharing details about the sale of the house yet. It’s not goodbye to Orange County. She’s just seeing someone else for a moment.

Omg, they’re bottle feeding the kittens. Gina visits Jenn, who asks where she was. Gina says she didn’t want to be responsible for messing up Shannon’s fiesta. It made zero sense to go. Shannon got super defensive, assuming Gina was trashing her relationship. Jenn tells her that Shannon didn’t say that, but she alluded that she helped Gina when she went through a DUI, and Gina’s kids would have gone to CPS if she hadn’t stepped in. Gina says, there were zero scenarios where her kids would have been taken. She and Shannon are going to have a problem. You don’t say things like that if they’re not true. In Gina’s interview, she says, it’s a completely false statement. If that happened when you got a DUI, everybody’s kids in the OC would be locked up. She tells Jenn that Shannon relentlessly brings that up, and we flash back to that. Gina says, the best way for her to have a healthy relationship with Shannon is to set boundaries. Now Shannon’s being crueler. In her interview, Gina says, there isn’t going to be a friendship, but Shannon needs to know she crossed the line. She tells Jenn, you can’t light me on fire and let everybody watch me burn, and Jenn says, Gina needs to sit Shannon’s ass down and say, enough.

Emily meets Shannon for lunch, and in Shannon’s interview, she says she cares about Emily, but she doesn’t think the feeling is mutual. Emily apologizes for what she said during their call, and Shannon says, if Emily is concerned about her, she needs to talk with her instead of talking behind her back. Emily says, they had a conversation about Shannon’s relationship because they were concerned about her, and Shannon says she thinks Emily is exaggerating, which is pretty funny considering that’s Shannon’s M.O. She tells Emily that Fancy Pants is insinuating her relationship is all bad sh*t, and said Emily brought it up; Gina and Tamra brought it up. In Shannon’s interview, she says, Fancy Pants has a history of making things worse than they are, and we flash back to Fancy Pants telling Terry that Shannon is having a psychotic break when she’s really just yelling. Shannon tells Emily that Fancy Pants is calculating and manipulative, but Emily suggests they table Fancy Pants and get back to them. She wants to move past this. She cares about Shannon and wants her to be happy. In Emily’s interview, she says she can’t force someone to be friends or forgive, and in Shannon’s interview, she says she’s grateful for this meeting. She feels good about things, but she’s going to proceed with caution. Emily says she’s sorry for missing Shannon’s taco party, and Shannon says, it was on National Taco Day. It’s the way she says it. Like it makes the offense even worse.

Next time, pumpkin races; Gina confronts Shannon about the CPS remark; Jenn says, the thought of marrying Ryan is scary; Shannon wonders if John is really in the relationship; and Shannon thinks Fancy Pants is insincere.

🏄‍♀️ Living Life Without It…

Come by for soap, what’s on the Runway, and teatime tomorrow. Until then, stay safe, stay being assertive without being aggressive, and stay not having pity parties. How are you going to help anyone if you’re feeling sorry for yourself?