Category Archives: television

Sep23

September 22, 2015 — GH, Queens, Tyler Perry & Tequila

Posted on September 23, 2015 by theresakp

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

You’d think after all she’s been though, on top of being a Cassadine, Alexis could control her freak out when hearing a gunshot better. Too bad it was Julian who got shot instead of Morgan, although both of them could disappear and I’d be okay with that. Julian is down, but not out yet.

I need some kind of chart or graph to keep what kids are whose straight. Hey, you watch the same show for literally 50 years and let’s see how well you do.

Is Sonny hallucinating or does he know something about Jake being Jason? That would be a real twist, giving Sonny the reveal. Oh, why not? I’d actually hoped for Laura to return and get that job, but since it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, they can draw straws at this point for all I care. Just, please, let’s get to it already.

Commercial break. Oh crap. Once Upon a Time is premiering this weekend. While right now it won’t throw a wrench into Sundays, it will eventually. There always seems to be one day in the week where I have to stay up half the night to catch everything. I still have the finale from last season’s Once in the black hole that is my DVR. Pope Francis is also headed this way, which should make for some stellar traffic jams in the city.

Ha-ha! Elizabeth looks like she’s about to pass out. Good. And seriously, “Jake” doesn’t seem like an idiot. Has it never once crossed his mind that he might be Jason? Or even anyone else from Port Charles?

What the blip is Michael doing, showing up there with no weapon? Even wounded, Julian could probably get away, since Michael and Morgan are so busy blabbing. Michael thinks logic is going to work here. Really? He tells Morgan that Sonny sent him to stop Morgan throwing his life away. We’ll see if Morgan buys it.

Ric (whose name I’ve been spelling wrong) is trying to talk his way back into the good graces of the PC court system. (That would be Port Charles. These days, I realize that might need clarification.) While I don’t like his character all that much, I love the acting skills of Rick Lansing. (Rick playing Ric!) He does a great annoyed and flustered. Paul has replaced Ric as District Attorney. That was quick! My favorite soap character job switch was when Bo from One Life to Live went from being a radio DJ to being Police Commissioner overnight. At least Paul was a lawyer already.

Dillon…Maxie…Dillon’s movie… These are the kinds of storylines I used to fast forward through in the old days, when we taped things on the VCR.

This is pretty good, with Carly playing along with Sonny that “Jake” is Jason. I’m rooting for Elizabeth to have a heart attack. At least she’s already at the hospital.

Holy! Michael’s blathering worked! I want Alexis to stop making those cartoonish soap faces though. Her hair always reminds me of Cruella de Vil as it is. Even though Morgan has packed up his pistol, Michael tells Julian it’s not over because he agrees that Julian had Sonny shot. Boy, would he be surprised to know the truth.

Paul should have been a salesman. I’m ready to throw in with him. “Jake” wants to help out in stopping Morgan (a day late and a dollar short), and Elizabeth is trying to boss him around. Go away already.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME. They just broke in to the last 2 minutes of the show to report on the Pope’s plane landing in Washington DC. I mean we’re looking at the plane sitting there and that’s it. He’s probably still sitting in his seat, iPad in hand, not believing that they just cut in to the end of General Hospital. This is almost, but not quite, as bad as when they broke in the day we were finally seeing what happened in Luke’s past. ABC had to make all kinds of apologies that time. Did they learn nothing?

Scream Queens

I’m taking a chance on DVR’ing this, but it’s the finale of The Haves & the Have Nots, so I’m only watching the first hour.

It revolves around a sorority, Kappa something (KKT), and a stalker/killer in a devil outfit. One that looks hot and uncomfortable. Jamie Lee Curtis (always worth watching) is Dean Munch, which leads to jokes that I’m sure shouldn’t be aired before 10 pm. Jamie Lee reminds me of Dean Wormer in Animal House. She hates sororities. Somebody has to put their foot down, and that foot is her. She makes some rule that the sorority has to open its membership to everyone, and brings in a bunch of “misfits,” again reminding me of Animal House.

I’d kill for main (evil) character Chanel #1’s closet. The main (good) character, Liz, wants to join KKT because it’s her dead mother’s legacy. Her dad tells her sororities are like Game of Thrones. Since I had the brilliant idea to go to acting school instead of college, I have no clue about them, but my sister and her peers decided to rebel by ignoring pledge week and sororities. This was in the hippie days when being a non-conformist meant something.

Commercial break. The 5^th Wave looks like an incredible movie, but if it’s not even rated yet, this means I could be watching this commercial for the next year. I like Good Day New York, but there’s really nothing they can do to make my mornings “fun.” Just give me coffee.

At the end of the first hour, Chanel #1 has killed Miss Bean, the house maid whom she calls “White Mammy.” The first of Chanel’s “minons” (all named “Chanel” and called by number) is killed by the devil stalker. The dialogue is done by texts between the murderer and the victim, culminating with the victim calling for help via Facebook, rather than calling 911. I’m not sure if this is a comment on the stupidity of people today or their dependence on social media or something else.

This looks like a fun show, although a little risqué to be on at 8. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I am appropriate. And nobody wants to answer kids’ questions before their time.

Tyler Perry’s Temptation Tuesday

This is comprised of his nighttime dramas, The Haves & the Have Nots, and If Loving You is Wrong. Both shows are over-the-top old school style of soap. The main difference being that the latter is totally focused on middle-class families. Most of the characters are doing all right, but there are no real “haves.”

Obviously, I’m not alone in feeling that Tyler Perry has fulfilled a need left by the departure of shows such as Dallas and Dynasty, and given them a fresh spin. They might not be up for any Emmys, but people are tuning in and enjoying these updates on the classics.

Tonight was unusual in that both shows were on back to back. While The Haves & the Have Nots was having its finale, If Loving You is Wrong was starting its new season. Even the beginning credits are reminiscent of the daytime soaps in the 80s and I love it! It starts the way it ended last season, with a scene that was the height of pure soapiness.

Alex has just had her baby. It’s hanging in the balance whether the father is her Caucasian husband, Brad, or her married African American neighbor, Randall, with whom she was having an affair. (This was all exposed prior to her going into labor.) All of her girlfriends are at the window where you stare at the newborns. They gasp and stare in silence. One of them says the baby is black. Another says, “How are we going to tell Brad”?

“Tell me what?” Brad says, having just walked in behind them.

DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Below Deck

Leon turns out to be kind of a lazy cook, which I can totally identify with, but I don’t work on a yacht.

It’s not starting off well. Some kind of tequila, that most of the guests have put on their preference sheets, isn’t in stock. Kate explains that a lot of the time, guests list things they never ask for and when something is particularly hard to get, it’s not a priority. She realizes now that it is a priority.

On top of it, the weather is not cooperating, so the guests’ requested water activities won’t be happening. I think I would be just fine, lazing around the yacht, top-of-the-line alcohol, food and service at my beck and call, but apparently some people get bored with that. This makes me take note that I’ve never once seen anyone reading while on these charters. I’ve always taken reading material on vacation.

Does it bother anyone else when, while watching an episode of a show, they air a commercial for next week’s episode of the same show? And add that it’s an “all new episode” when it’s only the third one of the season?

A new deckhand is coming to replace dickweed Don. (Ha-ha! Spell check tried to change that to duckweed. Fie on you, spell check, and I trump your correction.) Rocky is still insane, crying one minute and making up Broadway tunes about laundry the next. I don’t think this girl belongs at this job. Or maybe any job. Hope she can find a rich guy to marry. New guy Dane is too young, surfer dude looking for me, but the girls all think he’s hot.

Kate says it’s not a good sign when the guests go to bed early and would rather sleep than hang out on the boat. A couple of the lady guests try to entice Dane and Emile into the hot tub. Emile plays by the rules of no fraternization, but Dane almost gets in the tub and needs a mini-lecture on how to draw the line between having fun with the guests and having too much fun with the guests.

The weather still sucks, and Kate creates a party for the guests where they play a slightly rude, seafaring version of Twister. Lo and behold, here comes a boat bearing the liquor the guests could so desperately not live without. (The bottle cost $350, but there’s no mention of what the delivery must have cost.) I think these guests are bored because they’re boring. All is well once the booze gets on board. I hate tequila, so I’m failing to see how this was a make or break factor on the charter. I can’t wait to see what the tip is.

Whoa — 25 large! Having to entertain bored, boring people is totally worth it. Captain Lee gives Eddie some advice while they lounge in the hot tub. Eddie needs to get it together with his girlfriend because his mind isn’t totally on his work. The main thing I hear is that Captain Lee is married. Yep. All the good ones are married or gay.

Sep22

September 21, 2015 — GH, OC & NYE in London

Posted on September 22, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Blah-blah-blah, romantic stuff with Sam and Patrick. The only thing that will make this worthwhile for me is if Robin shows up. Or if nuJason does, since the reason Sam tells Patrick “not yet” is because it’s around this time she married Jason.

What up with TJ that he thinks Morgan is just going to “rough up” Julian? How much more obvious can it be that Morgan is psychotic? Nice save on Alexis’s part. She tells Morgan that if he pulls the trigger, he’ll kill Sonny. Bet that is screwing with Morgan’s thought process.

Instead of chatting up Mayor Lomax, Paul is chatting up Ava. It turns out he has the confession recording and he wants something “complicated” in return. Oh goodie. I can’t wait.

Maxie is wearing the cutest romper!

Oooh, it’s Paul who had Sonny shot. Nothing like throwing in a ringer. Is this the first we’re hearing about his organized crime ties? At least they said “organized crime” and not “the business.” Apparently, he wants to run Julian’s territory with Ava. This is rather a weird proposition, since Ava hasn’t had anything to do with that, except for gossiping with Julian. Is her new job going to be shaking people down? I want to smack Paul when he says he likes her hair. Blue-eyed blondes are a dime a dozen on these shows. Although I do like the idea of a lady mob boss. I thought The Sopranos missed a golden opportunity with that.

Sonny says he’s fine now. Okay. Sonny tells Elizabeth how glad he is she got her son back, and too bad Jason isn’t around to see it. Ah-ha! (in Nelson voice) Rub it in good, Sonny.

Maxie just asked Tracy why a lawyer (meaning Paul) would want to get involved with a bunch of criminals. She does live in this world, right? I think maybe Tracy needs to find some friends closer to her own age. Not that I’m opposed to having friends of all ages, but does she really want to take love life advice from 20-year-olds? I’m with Maxie, clothes are wearable art and an extension of self. She’s really pushing this Tracy/Paul thing.

Did Paul just ask if he could “top [Ava’s] wine?” She’s drinking a martini. The director must have fallen asleep during the Sam/Patrick scenes.

Man, is TJ a dumbass. Morgan could have shot Julian ten times in the amount of time it’s taking for Michael to convince TJ that Morgan is dangerous in his manic state.

Commercial break. Yes, I understand Blue Buffalo is a wonderful pet food, but you try to get my dogs to eat it. I spent a fortune on a bag of it and they looked at me like I had two heads and refused to take one bite. OMG – it’s a guy in his work cube on the toilet. Has it come to that?

No surprise we end with an offstage bang

The Real Housewives of the OC

Why does Tamra keep adding to what Brooks said about considering the source? First of all, he said it in conjunction with saying he’d never talked to her – which he hadn’t. And she keeps adding all these nasty nuances that just weren’t there.

How can Heather say that this is a group of people who love Vicki? Meghan has made it very clear that she does not love Vicki and nothing could be further from the truth.

Can you tell these girls are all getting on my nerves? Let me make it clear that I don’t care for Brooks and never have, but I like what’s going on even less. The bottom line is that this is none of their business. I can’t even believe they spend this much time discussing it. Heather has told Vicki that they should produce the medical documents to prove everyone wrong, but Vicki doesn’t want to because 1) it’s none of their business and 2) she shouldn’t have to do that with people who know her. I’m not even saying Brooks isn’t lying and he’s fooling Vicki, but to bombard her with crap she doesn’t need right now is wrong. And I know from what I speak. I’ve personally had a situation where someone didn’t believe me. I totally have the proof in print to show them that what I’ve said is true, but I’m not going to show it to them. This person has known me for almost 30 years and has no business doubting me. So believe what you want, but you’ll be believing it from somewhere else because we are no longer friends.

Everyone is sooo stressed over this. Hey, here’s my prescription for that – stop talking about it.

Vicki says that Tamra went apesh*t for no reason, since her track record for passing along info isn’t exactly great. Telephone, teleTamra – ha-ha-ha! That reminds me of how my grandfather used to say (about my grandmother), “Telegraph, telephone, tell Marie.” Vicki also says that Tamra had no business running to Meghan with what Jim had told Brooks. It’s like these women are a bunch of 14-year-olds who can’t wait to pass along any gossip. While I do know a couple of adults who are like this, I certainly don’t make them privy to any information I’m given about anyone. Vicki leaves the Aries party early and the women say she ran away from the issue. It seems to be all anyone can talk about and sometimes you do have to just walk away. Shannon and Vicki subsequently have a lunch, but once again, it’s the only topic. Seriously, at this point, even if Brooks is lying, I’m taking his side.

Twitter, Google, et al must go nuts after these shows air.

Terry isn’t crazy about Heather’s sketch of some window she wants to put in at the new house that involves a tree and some birds that symbolize the kids. I’m with him – if you don’t want my honest opinion, don’t ask for it. Heather claims it’s not his honest opinion about the window she cares about, but she wants acknowledgement of her hard work. Well, then ask for that instead of his opinion about the window. I hate when someone expects me to be a mind reader.

I don’t blame Eddie for not wanting to support Tamra’s adult son. Tamra says that Ryan (her son) is still figuring his life’s plan out and he always does it the hard way. How hard is getting 8000 bucks from your mom?

Cool! Lisa Rinna is having dinner with Heather. I love her so much! She and Eileen Davidson were the best thing to happen to the Beverly Hills Wives since Kyle called out Kim for being an alcoholic. She’s with me on the mind reading thing too.

OMG-OMG-OMG! Next week it shows Brooks producing some document, but then Meghan saying they don’t do that test at wherever it was he went. I have a couple of thoughts here. I worked in a women’s clinic for a couple of years, so I know they don’t always give everyone all the information. I don’t know how Meghan approached them, so this Devil’s Advocate theory is on hold. The other thought is that everyone keeps saying Brooks is such a smooth con man. Why would he go through all the trouble of cooking up a fake document and make a mistake like that?

Discuss.

** Author’s note: A few episodes ago, in writing about Brook’s treatment, I should have said it was “reservatrol” that was being used.

Ladies of London

Annabelle writes children’s books, using the alienation she felt as a child, growing up in privileged society. I want to say something sarcastic about her having it so tough, but everyone has their own set of problems, and everyone’s problems are just as important to them as mine are to me. The angel shoulder won out this time.

Marissa, who I’m growing not too fond of, runs restaurants with her husband, but she wants her own gig. She’s going to open a place that sells organic hot dogs, fries and shakes, what she calls American street food. Maybe in California, where she’s from, but that don’t sound like no Sabrett.

Julie and Juliet (thank God there’s no Julia…yet) are planning a get together to watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. This startles me and I think I’ve lost time, until I realize this is not in sync with the real calendar.

The Christmas numbers for Caroline’s store are not good. Her assistant, or manager, or whatever she is wants her to be all emotional, but that’s not the way Caroline #1 rolls. Julie is meeting her for lunch. Julie makes some kind of energy “balls” (similar to energy bars), and is marketing them to gyms and studios, but is ready for the big league. They verge on making jokes akin to the Schweddy Balls sketch on SNL, and discuss her business plan.

The New Year’s Eve party, in Juliet’s penthouse, looks fabulous. And Marissa looks like she has a stick up her butt. Things start off well, but after swilling a lot of champagne, Julie and Caroline #2 (the baroness) do a headstand trying to make some yoga point. Caroline #1 says something that Julie takes as “a massive dig” at her and she’s crying, but I don’t see it and blame it on the ~~booze~~ champagne. Or maybe this is something only yoga people understand. What really doesn’t make sense is that Caroline was all kinds of insulting at their lunch and Julie just laughed it off. Caroline apologizes, but Julie doesn’t want to let it go. More champagne, please!

This is so freaking cool! They go up to the roof to watch the Londoners partying in the street below. It reminds me of the New Year’s Eve scene in The Spice Girls‘ One Hour of Girl Power. They go back in and drink some more. Caroline #1 brings in a bunch of animal costume onesies for adults. I’m really not sure what to make of this. No more for Caroline. Juliet’s husband is lying on a couch pre-nursing a hangover, and Caroline #1 straddles him and makes rude movements. She just got done saying that someone with a title shouldn’t be standing on their head. I’m losing respect quickly.

So is Juliet and it says “to be continued.”

Congrats to Game of Thrones on their Emmy sweep!

Sep21

September 20, 2015 — The Dead & the Doctors

Posted on September 21, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

Fear the Walking Dead

Lou Reed’s Perfect Day starts things off. I love that song! I miss Lou…I miss the 70s…but I miss the 80s more. I also miss I Am Cait being on Sunday night, and I’m hoping it comes back for another season.

The neighborhood has been turned into an internment camp and everyone is fenced in. Travis is all, let’s trust the government, but Madison keeps trying to tell him something isn’t right, especially since there’s no electricity or phone service. He comes up with some lame reasoning for every point she makes. Travis looks thinner too, so nobody is getting fed either or maybe Madison is a lousy cook.

Travis’s son, Chris, has also seen what may or may not be some kind of signal coming from the demilitarized zone. Travis doesn’t want to hear about it, but Madison is paying attention. Pretty much a typical couple.

Lt. Moyers (head National Guard guy) is playing golf outside the fence. What is it with golf on these zombie shows? Although I guess if a zombie tries to blow your shot, you can always whack them in the head with the club. It’s not looking good when Travis asks him what’s up. Moyers seems to think the people inside the fence are nothing but a nuisance, and I’m pretty sure he has an itchy trigger finger.

Dubious “health screenings” are being done, and a government doctor (Dr. Exnor) has come to see the barber’s wife (sounds like a Canterbury Tale – The Government Doctor & The Barber’s Wife) and wants to take her in “for surgery.” Daniel the barber is skeptical and says he’ll be going with her. There’s no argument from the doctor, and I’m thinking they’re both going to their deaths. Madison sneaks out, cutting through the fence. I’m kind of surprised she was able to escape so early on, since you’d think the guards haven’t had time to get lackadaisical yet. A military patrol comes by and she hides under a car.

In the demilitarized zone, there are a lot of shrines and missing person posters that remind me of NYC just after the World Trade Center attack and my stomach flips a little. After passing those, Madison sees a load of dead bodies. And they’re not zombies.

Daniel talks about how there would be people taken from his town periodically when he was a child. His father has told him that men do evil because of fear, but Daniel isn’t having any today. He tells Madison, who has returned from her trip outside, that if he doesn’t come back to take care of his daughter, and to be prepared because things will happen quickly once they get going.

Getting the old lady out of bed is an arduous task. Instead of taking Daniel with her, they grab Nick. A struggle ensues, but Nick gets hauled away. Madison is pretty pissed off, and at Travis too, since he’s such a freaking idiot, and believes the government involvement is actually going to improve things.

Oddly enough, for a zombie show, it was nothing of the kind tonight. Not necessarily a bad thing. Just sayin’.

Married to Medicine

I’ve said it before, that I will watch pretty much anything in regard to reality TV. I don’t always stick it out though. I loved The Real World the first several seasons, before it degenerated into drinking and hot tub sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but who wants to watch other people doing it? Seriously, it started off as an interesting glimpse into the world of just moving away from home to the big city. The cast had jobs, took classes, and we actually got to see some of whatever city it was through their eyes. Then, like Jerry Springer before them, MTV discovered there was a world of ratings in people debasing themselves. I haven’t watched it in a long time. For a while, I’d check in every so often, to see if anything had changed. It hadn’t.

I also tried to watch The Jersey Shore. I might have even made it all the way through the first season. Then it was just the same old and I stopped watching. Occasionally, I would forget why I stopped, tune in again, see Sammi and Ronnie either breaking or making up, remember, and tune back out. The only show that turned me off completely was The Littlest Groom, sort of a little person Bachelor. After about a half hour, the emphasis was so heavy on the sexual aspect, I got uncomfortable. It seemed geared toward fetishists and certainly not dignified. I didn’t make it through the first episode. While I don’t think The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows are very dignified either, I was able to take a couple of seasons of each.

I said all this to say, I watch Married to Medicine, but I’m starting to wonder why. A couple of the women seem normal, mostly Dr. Jacquie and Dr. Simone, but what up with these girls? Pretty much all they do is fight, call each other stupid bitches and ho’s, and create chaos. It’s a step above Bad Girls (ok, I do check that out sporadically, but I don’t kid myself that it’s anything other than a boxing match) and these are supposed to be doctors and doctors’ wives. Aren’t they embarrassed???

The first season, I saw two of them go at it physically, and I was like, whoa, are they married to the medicine they’re taking?

So that’s why I’ve never said anything about it. I don’t even know what to say.

Sep19

September 18, 2015 — GH & Zombies on the Run

Posted on September 19, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Ava asks Scotty how this could have happened. Judging by the flimsy door and lock, does she really need to ask? Ha-ha! Scotty is trying to say she still owes him the money. For what? He has no evidence anymore.

It’s the usual revolving door in the ICU.

Dillon has had a “cease and desist” letter about his film project. He needs yet one more permit. This isn’t surprising, since they live in the NYC/NJ area where everyone is fee’d to death. My problem here though, is that all he’s doing is holding auditions right now, so cease and desist what? Someone is jumping the shark or in this case, the cease and desist letter. Mayor Lomax’s signature is on the letter and Paul says he went to law school with her, and she’s always been both ambitious and ethically challenged. I’m geographically challenged, so please don’t ask me for any directions or even to name all the states.

Morgan can’t wait any longer, and is moving on from Julian’s place to hunt him down. Meanwhile, Carly and Michael are going slightly bonkers because they’re worried about him. Julian is with Alexis at her place and they’re planning on taking off to some cabin somewhere. As they leave, TJ emerges from…the bathroom? How come no one knew he was there? At any given time, I can guarantee that I know how many people (and dogs) are in my house. In Port Charles, nobody ever knows who’s lurking around where, but if you’re looking for someone, check the hospital. Lots of people like to wander around there.

Emma (another kid I love, even though I don’t love kids on soaps) has given Patrick a worry doll for his birthday. He’s going to be lending that out a lot. A low key birthday party is going on with Emma, Danny, Anna and Sam in attendance.

What the what? TJ is taking the info about the cabin. Why? Brilliant of them to just leave it there out in the open too. Oops! He runs into Morgan as he’s leaving. Once again, Morgan doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer and asks TJ another 12 times if he knows who shot Sonny. TJ doesn’t buy what Morgan is selling (i.e. that he’s there to find Alexis so she can help one of her many daughters) and Morgan has to admit why he’s really there. Apparently, in all the confusion, someone has forgotten to sign the commitment papers for him.

Oh no! Ava is changing her hair back to blonde, even though she looks smashing as a brunette. She’s also going to give herself a haircut. This is never a good idea IRL, but I’m sure the miracle of television will make it look like she went to a salon. “Denise” was actually supposed to be a hairdresser, so there’s some kind of irony here.

Paul calls Mayor Lomax to chat her up. She had a crush on him in law school and he gets her to retract the letter. Since it looked like Tracy and Paul were on the verge of rekindling their relationship, she is not too happy that the mayor has also asked to meet with Paul.

Morgan is nowhere to be found and Michael says that’s okay, even though he’s gunning for Julian, he won’t do anything stupid. Because, you know, he has the reputation of being completely level-headed.

Yep, perfect haircut on Ava. It looks like she has lowlights too. Whatever coloring product she used must be amazing. And quick, since this all took about five minutes. Fast birthday party also. Sam is already cleaning up. She’s given Patrick a guitar as a gift. Does this mean we’re putting on another show? It must have been what he really wanted, since he asks Sam to marry him.

Wow. The cabin looks just like both Alexis’s and Julian’s apartments. No surprise, after getting into his Star Trek transporter, Morgan shows up.

Z Nation

Now that Citizen Z’s compound has pretty much been blown apart, he has a lot more to worry about than the cosmonaut in his head. Because of the blast, a plane crashed nearby and zombies have been let loose in the North Pole. Please, oh please, don’t let anything happen to him and especially not to Pup. Unfortunately, in his zeal to try and keep Murphy safe, he’s created a whole host of other problems for our friends (otherwise known as Operation Bite Mark).

Zombies driving cars! Everyone is after Murphy (or “The Murphy,” as he’s being called by some), including a group who look like they’re part of a drug cartel and another who seem like hillbillies – they don’t want the bounty, they want to kill Murphy for sport. Everyone is shooting the place up and these ain’t your mother’s zombies. No matter how you die, you’ll turn into one. And God only knows what kind of zombies those nuclear bombs created. Operation Bite Mark is after Murphy too, and so far is surviving. A guy who looks like Pablo Escobar shoots Murphy, but then is shot by some random woman. Murphy asks her for help and she responds by shooting him in the stomach. I’m guessing she’s after the reward, but as she moves toward him, kind-of-zombie Cassandra grabs her from behind. Bye-bye. Cassandra also sees 10K, named for the amount of zombies he wants to kill, but leaves him alone.

I spend a lot of this show going, ohshitohshitohshit in my head and I’m doing it right now. I can’t imagine this episode ending without us losing someone. Shooting and running and zombies, oh my! Maybe Murphy should lose the disco coat he’s wearing so he can blend in better. He runs for cover into a hotel and is being trailed by his kind-of-zombie-girlfriend Cassandra, as well as a small band of “Zs.” Honestly, if this wasn’t so serious, it would seem like a Marx Brothers movie. The effects aren’t grandiose, but perfectly executed, and the scenes seem more intense because there is no background music – just the sounds of quiet running and breathing.

10K has lost his hearing from being too close to an explosion, and that doesn’t bode well for being on the defense, especially since he now tends to shout at inopportune times. Oooh, in a smart move, Murphy has given the disco jacket to another zombie.

Hillbilly Guy has found the room Murphy is hiding in, but doesn’t see him because Murphy is in the closet. In an earlier episode, Murphy discovered that he can not only control the zombies somewhat through thoughts, but can also tap into humans. I can’t be positive this is what he’s doing, but he stares hard through the door slats at Hillbilly Guy, who stops looking for him and turns his attention (and gun) to the window. Doc and 10K have also shown up, and 10K covers Doc while he gets into the hotel. Coming up behind Hillbilly Guy, Doc’s gun jams (my freakin’ heart!) and he throws it at Hillbilly Guy, making him drop his. Murphy, please come out of that closet – and I don’t mean that as a euphemism for anything.

A lot of back and forth fighting ensues, and I almost thought we were going to lose Doc as Hillbilly Guy is strangling him, but Doc has an out of body moment and sees a weapon at the top of the closet that he’s able to knock down before he’s knocked out, and kills Hillbilly Guy. Murphy dashes out, bidding Doc farewell. Gee, thanks for the help.

I swear if I don’t have a heart attack by the end of this episode, I’ll never have one.

The name of the episode is White Light, and there are weird glimpses into everyone’s childhood as they each have near death experiences. I’m not sure what this vehicle is being used for exactly. If anything.

Roberta, who has just missed getting killed by Hillbilly Guy 2, finds Murphy on the roof of the building. He jumps off, into a pool loaded with zombies, but since he heals pretty easily, walks out and is off like a dirty pair of underwear (as my dad used to say). Head Cartel Guy is watching everything from another roof, and covers what is possibly a bite mark on his wrist. (We also see he has a “Z” tattoo on his hand.) Murphy steals (is there such a thing as stealing anymore?) a car and tries to book, but Addy drags his ass out of it. Her anger is understandable, since she has just had to “give mercy” – a nice way of saying shoot in the head – to Mack, her kind-of-boyfriend and closest confidante, who had gotten locked in a stairwell full of zombies. If it hadn’t been for Murphy running in the first place, none of this would have happened. After Addy nearly beats Murphy to a pulp, Roberta asks where Mack is. Superb acting job here, as there is no dialogue, only exchanged glances, and the glances say everything.

In a way, it’s nice to see Citizen Z get some action and beat the crap out of some zombies. Apparently video games aren’t all bad. He seems prepared for this moment. The absence of Pup is making me nervous though. I’m also kind of sad that the compound got trashed. It was such an amazing place.

This show is relentless and fierce and funny, and is some of the most enjoyable television I’ve ever seen.

In playing “Six Degrees of Separation” with my entertainment, I just read that Game of Thrones author, George R.R. Martin, has confirmed that he will be appearing on the show as his zombie self signing his own books. How freaking cool is that? Nice plug too!

Sep18

September 17, 2015 — GH & 100 New York Wives

Posted on September 18, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

I had an appointment – ok, I went to lunch with a karaoke friend – so I DVR’d it. Glad to see the hospital machines attached to Sonny are in working order now. Carly was getting dangerously close to one of those tubes though, when she was petting his face.

Morgan is going apesh*t on TJ, grilling him about who Charlie’s boss is, and generally acting crazy. He doesn’t know. Accept it.

Lots of tension at the police station with the Dante/Valerie tryst, but no real moving forward with the storyline. I can’t wait!

Sonny’s daughter, Kristina, arrives on the scene at Alexis’s place. I’ve given up trying to keep whose kids are whose at this point. There are so many baby daddies and mamas, I need a scorecard.

Scotty has blackmailed Ava out of 5 million, in exchange for the flash drive that holds her confession to Connie Falconeri’s murder. Since this evidence has “disappeared,” Ava is a free woman. For now.

Julian is still swearing he’s innocent and more mushy stuff with Carly and Sonny, and Kristina and Sonny in the hospital.

The ending wasn’t bad though. Just when I thought it was nearly a total loss and I shouldn’t have bothered, Scotty and Ava arrive at his place to find it tossed. And no doubt the flash drive is gone. Morgan is also on his way to Julian’s with a gun.

The Real Housewives of NYC: 100^th Episode Special

Eight years? Has it really been eight years? Only the OC Wives had been aired when NYC began, making them the beginning of the franchise. It was originally going to be called Manhattan Moms, but they don’t really explain why it was changed. I just can’t imagine it being called that.

In the first minute, this is already fun because they’re showing some clips from the Wives’ audition tapes, interspersed with individual interviews with Andy at the clubhouse. Right away, I miss Alex and Simon. And I don’t miss Jill Zarin, who declined to take part in this show. Because, you know, she is the be all and end all, and can’t believe it’s continued without her. You got fired. Get over it.

Ramona goes on once again about how weird she thought Alex and Simon were, especially since they never wanted to go out apart. Um…who’s still married? I know, I know, I’m being mean, but I’m not too fond of Ramona, who, despite her “new beginnings,” needs to get her nose out of the air. Ramona admits to not being welcoming to Alex and Simon because she felt they were co-dependent and didn’t like it. How mature of her. Simon always reminded me of someone they’d pick to be a contestant on Graham Norton’s made-up game, Gay or Eurotrash? Ramona had a lot of tense moments involving those two. And I think she’s weirder than the both of them put together.

There are some clips from the various trips they’ve taken, and I’m with the Countess, my favorite being their trip to Morocco. The markets look fabulous, and of course there was that bucking camel who almost threw the Countess. It’s interesting to see how the Countess has changed over the years. We’ve gone from “introduce me as Mrs. de Lesseps” to “don’t be all uncool.” In her underwear. Bethenny says she didn’t even know what a countess was before meeting the Countess. To be honest, I don’t know all the particulars either, but my husband is a marquis and I can tell you that the title and three bucks will get you on the subway in NYC.

Interesting how some watched the OC show prior to being on the NYC one, but others didn’t. I’m not sure if I would or not. It’s almost like deciding if you should read the book before you do the movie. Almost.

Ha-ha! Bethenny says Jill can smell D-list fame like a dog smelling steak. I’ll bet Aviva can too.

Alex and Simon were nothing compared to Kelly, who didn’t even seem to exist on the same planet as the rest of us. Confusing Al Sharpton with Jack Nicholson is pretty out there. And today she blames the other women for an unmarketable time period after the show was aired. Like her behavior had nothing to do with it.

Oh yeah, here comes One Season Cindy. Remember her? Me neither. Heather says her first day of shooting was like the first day of summer camp. What kind of camp did she go to? Was this in the Berkshires?

The whole Jill/Bethenny feud – if that’s what you want to call it – was kind of sad. It seems that Jill thought of them as some kind of team, and when Bethenny’s career took off without her, she got mean. (Ooh, that almost rhymed.) Bethenny tells Andy that it’s not like she was in a girl band. Apparently, after that season ended, Bethenny thought all was well, but Jill waited until the cameras were rolling again to create a scene. She wanted to make Bethenny look bad, but it backfired, and she got fired. Bethenny says that Jill did indeed help to get her on the show, she became the most successful of the Wives, and Jill could have been along for the ride with her, but “pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, she wanted it all, but ended up with nothing.

One of the greatest moments in Housewives history was when Aviva threw her artificial leg on the table at La Cirque, stating that it was the only fake thing about her. She tells Andy he’s welcome, and admits to having planned it. Um, we figured that out pretty quickly, since one of those isn’t removed in 5 seconds. Let’s hope not anyway. She says “somebody had to put their foot down.” What a card! When asked for her reaction to the leg incident, the Countess says her first thought was that there’s a dirty shoe near the silverware. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have thought the same. Bethenny also talks about how Aviva was concerned she might not make it onto the show, but Bethenny reassured her that anyone who’d slept with two of the Wives exes and had one leg would be a shoo-in. I’m a card too.

Another great shining Aviva moment. When she declared that Truman Capote was the ghostwriter for To Kill a Mockingbird. Enough said about Aviva.

Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about how, during the first reunion, it was brought up that Alex had posed nude and Ramona left the stage. (BTW, nice crotch shot as she was getting up – what a lady! I hadn’t noticed that before.) This was a seriously ridiculous moment. And it wasn’t even like she posed for Hustler or something. They were art photos. Ramona is bizarrely hypocritical.

Aww! Bethenny is getting all weepy and thanking Andy for the opportunity to influence other women.

Watch What Happens Live Special: Top 10 NYC Moments

Andy shows a “Housewives Playhouse” clip with Bill Hader, Amy Schumer & Judd Apatow reenacting the scene in Turks and Caicos where the Countess offers eggs a la Francaise as a cure all for everything. Judd is playing the Countess like she’s Al Bundy. I have the feeling he’s never seen the show. Bill Hader says he doesn’t even know who his character is, but is still better than Judd. Amy, of course, is admittedly the biggest Wives fan on the planet.

We’re treated to Sonja’s first caberlesque. She really is in amazing shape. We’re also shown clips of the Ramonacoaster and Sonja’s advice. There’s a Halloweave special that I don’t remember. How could I not remember this? Simon sings I’m Real, one of the many Housewives musical efforts, except he’s not a housewife and can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket. Not that it’s ever stopped anyone else.

The Countess singing is the number one moment? Really? Okay, maybe. It was certainly the most lively moment out of what we were given. I guess Andy picked these?

I wish Andy would have another New Year’s Eve party. Like the one and only he had where Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles. It was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. And yes, I know how sad that sounds.

And, as always, we’re left with the eternal question…

WHAT’RE YOU DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?

Sep17

September 16, 2015 — Port Charles, Los Angeles & We Have a Winner

Posted on September 17, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Hey, yeah, where has Diane been? I think the last time I saw her, she was on Devious Maids. I know she works a lot, but she couldn’t show up for Ava?

I don’t want any of these people to visit me in the hospital ever. They haven’t stopped yelling at each other for days. Julian tells Lucas that he’s really out of the mob business, and “this time it’s different.” Whenever someone uses that phrase, it’s time to not believe them.

Commercial break.There’s something called The National Sleep Foundation and they have an official pillow? Is there a mascot too? Some ad for a marathon is using Back in the New York Groove as background music. Best solo song by a KISS member (Ace Frehley) ever.

Scotty claims that Diana is no longer representing the Jeromes because she’s dating one of Sonny’s goombahs, and she ripped up the retainer check. Ava says she doubts Diana would ever rip up any check and I tend to agree.

Oh man, this whole Valerie/Dante/Lulu thing is getting good. Cool. Nathan is calling Valerie out. Good Lord, she needs to get a grip. Not that I ever was in her exact position, but back in the day, I’d eat some ice cream, cry, and then move on.

What the blip kind of room do they have Sonny in? It looks like some strange hotel and the machines he’s hooked up to aren’t even making any noise.

MasterChef: 2 Hour Finale

We start off with a race through my beloved pantry. Can we move this pantry to my house? I swear I’d cook every night. Each home cook has to make a 3 course meal and gets a sous chef, one of the contestants who was ousted earlier in the season. The judges are 30 chefs from the restaurants of Gordon, Graham and Christina.

What does a “provocative dish” mean? Is it wearing pasties or something? I wish Claudia would quit messing around with that octopus. I’ve actually eaten it and like it, but prefer the Japanese breaded and fried version. I don’t like anything I’m eating to look like it did when it was alive. OMG – she runs out of octopus because they forgot to take one out of the pot. Really? How can you forget about an octopus?

Everything looks amazing and I’d even eat the looks-like-it-did-in-the-ocean octopus. Stephen makes pan seared scallops. He’s used edible flowers, which heretofore have been a turn-off for me. Claudia has the octopus going on and Derrick has made Miso Black Cod. Derrick wins this round, both on the show and with me personally.

The pressure test is also a 3-course meal: a cheese soufflé, steak frites and panna cotta – some kind of dessert I’ve never heard of, but looks like it’s seriously hard to make, on par with the soufflé. The contestants get to SKYPE with some friends and family members. Claudia has some problem with the dessert, but I don’t have a clue as to what it is. Stephen has put his soufflés in too early and Gordon has his hand to his forehead like he has a headache. Whatever Claudia’s problem was, has apparently been solved. Graham examines one of her fancy French fries like it’s a precious diamond. I love how he always holds everything up to the light and looks at it six different ways.

Claudia wins this one and is going on to the final final. I eat my words about Stephen being the winner and make a stupid pun. Rooting for Claudia now.

Derrick is making a pork belly (nice cut of meat!) dinner and Claudia is going for a Mexican tamale extravaganza. Wow. I never noticed how many tattoos Graham has. Derrick is “infusing” practically everything with watermelon. I just prefer my fruit separate from my proteins, with the exception of pineapple on ham or pizza. I guess if you’re going to do something like that, do it with pork. The other white meat. Sorry, it just naturally follows. Citrus fruit doesn’t count either.

Uh-oh. This really isn’t good. It’s only the appetizer round and Gordon is asking why Claudia chose food he could get on a food truck and she talks about her roots and how she wanted to elevate this food style. He eats, likes, and tells her she took something common and made it unique. What looked really awful for a second has made a 180.

Derrick’s entrée is venison; Claudia’s is swordfish. Still rooting for Claudia. I don’t know how these people can cook with all the noise from the spectators. Man, I don’t know what it is that Derrick is making to go with the venison (hey, I have to eat too, and I went to the microwave), but it looks phenomenal and crunchy. Puff pastry cage. Love it, but you can have the huckleberry sauce. Gordon tells Claudia that if the fish is dry, she’s screwed. Why do they like to make the contestants all nervous? I highly doubt Claudia is going to make anything too dry. I’d make a safe bet that she knows what she’s doing.

Commercial break. Can’t wait for Scream Queens to start, but it does throw a wrench into Tuesdays, which are difficult enough.

Of course the fish isn’t dry. I said it wouldn’t be dry. Now my leftover Chinese food is looking drabber by the second. For dessert, it’s sponge cake for Derrick, but he can’t get the cake batter out of the doodad he’s using. It’s a tense moment, but Derrick emerges victorious. Owow, this is like no sponge cake I ever ate. Claudia has made a Hibiscus poached pear. It wouldn’t be my first choice because there’s no chocolate involved, but I have to admit it looks fantastic. Derrick says he served the judges “art on a plate.” Who cares? There was chocolate around it.

Ok, here comes the hokey part where the final two try to open the doors and the one that opens is the winner. Never mind, that’s the other show, Hell’s Kitchen. I watch too much of this stuff and it’s all blending in together. Claudia wins! I picked the winner! (Out of the last two anyway.)

Little Women of LA

Why can’t they rerun Little Women of LA back to back like a lot of shows do? Now I have to make a choice between that and Rick Springfield on Watch What Happens Live. I guess I’ll DVR Rick, which means it will go into the black hole of recorded shows, never to be seen.

Tonya’s idea of a workout video for little people is brilliant. As our population grows, mo’ people equals mo’ little people, and mo’ whatever other kind of people we have. It’s both helpful to others and an untapped market.

There’s a bit too much TMI regarding Christy and Todd’s artificial insemination project, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Elena is having trouble picking out a dress for her vow renewals. She wants to have everything she didn’t the first time around. It seems like what she really wants is for her sister to be at the ceremony. Apparently, you need a damn good reason to visit the US from Russia, and her sister’s application for a Visa had been rejected a few years ago.

As much as I like them, every time Christy and Todd come on screen, I want to put my fingers in my ears and do the “la-la-la” thing. The insertion process is very painful and I’m wondering why they don’t use any type of anesthesia. I sincerely hope a pregnancy results from all this.

The girls show up for the workout taping and nothing is set up. Even worse, what they have to work with is totally unprofessional. They’re basically putting up photos and a handmade banner to the wall as a background. Brilliant idea, but not very well thought out execution. All of a sudden, the girls are questioning what they’re being paid. (Pretty much nothing.) Isn’t the time to do this before you sign up? Tonya doesn’t like anyone giving her direction. Geez, I’ll bet even Alec Baldwin takes direction. Everything is taking way too long and everyone is getting worn out. Like Don on Below Deck, Tonya decides it’s just too hard and quits.

After a pep talk in the hallway, Tonya has regrouped and decided to delegate. They’re going to have to put in another day though, and Briana isn’t happy about that. I think she’s really mad about the girls’ saying she seemed jealous of Elena’s upcoming vow renewal, which Brittney just had to let her in on.

Fastest pregnancy test ever! And I really appreciate seeing Christy’s pee in a cup. I guess I should be grateful I didn’t have to see her peeing into the cup. Ugh! The test was negative. Sadness all around.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh says that social media is more important to the real estate business in L.A. than anywhere else. I think that says something about L.A. Superficiality anyone? Although I do have to say, I went to L.A. for a V convention once and it wasn’t all tall skinny blondes with fake boobs. And there was the Clifton Cafeteria.

This is another one of those shows that I enjoy, but there isn’t much to say about it. It goes without saying that the homes are fabulous or they wouldn’t be on a show called Million Dollar Listing. The brokers act obnoxious for the most part, although I’m not sure how much is for the camera. If I saw two brokers going at it the way they do on these shows, I wouldn’t want to deal with either one of them. Although we do get a glimpse into their private lives, I’ve never had much investment in these guys. Perhaps a little more in the NYC group, but having spent nearly half my life there, I tend to gravitate toward any show with that background setting.

And I just love looking at amazing places I will never be able to afford in a million years and make myself miserable.

Sep15

September 14, 2015 – GH, the OC & London Ladies

Posted on September 15, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

I watched this on the fly today, but caught the main points. The main point of those main points being, we’re going to drag out this Jake/Jason thing for as long as possible. We might even spend the entire week with Elizabeth saying how bad what she has to tell him is, and “Jake” saying, it can’t possibly be that bad. Yes, it can.

Franco to the rescue! Finally, someone shoves Rick’s phone in his face along with the baby cry app. Nina tells Rick she never promised him a rose garden, and they make Rick sign or unsign some papers.

It’s nice to see the flashbacks of Sonny, but I’m still waiting for those Luke flashbacks. I guess I’m never going to get them. (sigh)

Maybe Sonny will go to heaven/hell and meet up with those guys from One Life to Live, or at least the Quartermaines who have gone before.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Jim’s daughter decided to throw a party while they were away & trashed her mom’s house. I see Meghan’s youthful mom influence has helped. Although I agree with her about LeeAnn not standing her ground with grounding. Meghan, Heather and Shannon (!) are having a meal and a confab, mostly about Brooks. Once again ~~James Bond~~ Meghan has contacted the doctor Brooks says he’s using, claiming to be looking for cancer treatment, and also contacted a disgruntled ex-girlfriend of Brooks (she had a friend in the same town get the number) who said he’s a phony baloney on a blog.

The doctor’s office says the doctor doesn’t treat cancer. While this sounds bad, I continue to play devil’s advocate – mostly because Meghan is such a snot rag – it’s still possible he does. Brooks said in an earlier episode that this guy treated his own cancer with polyphenols. It’s possible that this is something experimental and maybe he doesn’t want it advertised.

Tamra’s mom is newly single and going on a blind date – with Tamra and her son hiding ~~in the bushes~~ at a table in the background. Tamra expresses outrage at someone “60ish” wearing a low cut zebra top. It’s a really nice top and I think she’s being weird and rude. What else is new?

The thing I hate about Meghan, besides her ageism, is her attitude. While for all I know, she’s right about the whole thing, it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from a place of concern. It’s more like a vendetta against Vicki. No surprise, Jim doesn’t want to hear about it. She must have an awful lot of time on her hands. Maybe she should get a job.

“Wow,” says Lizzie, when Meghan says what she’s been doing. Wow, indeed. After she texted the ex-girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend told Brooks. I guess she’s not disgruntled anymore. If anything had really been wrong, why would the ex do that? Is she involved in this conspiracy too.

Shannon is having a party for her and her fellow Aries (Arieses?). The decorations are awesome and there’s even a huge Chinese dragon in the pool. It’s officially a party, since Tamra has already broken a glass. Brooks asks to speak with Meghan and Jim in private. Jim looks like he wants the ground to swallow him. We get a flashback about what the psychic actually said, and it was that he had a “wishy-washy” perspective on Brook’s cancer, and he “just didn’t see it.” Although if they’d extended that flashback, we would have also seen him backpedal, saying that there were other reasons he might be getting those vibes, other than that there was no cancer ever. Meghan gripes about Vicki questioning her character, but Vicki didn’t start doing that until Meghan started putting her nose in Vicki’s business like a truffle pig.

Nobody knows what to do. I have an idea. Mind your own business and keep your mouths shut. What a concept! Unless I thought Brooks was beating on Vicki, at this point, I’d do an Elsa and let it go. If he’s a con man (which again, I’m not so sure of), he’s a smooth one and seems to treat her well.

Meghan immediately makes a beeline for Tamra after this discussion. The beans that Vicki actually spilled got credited to Tamra. Brooks said he didn’t talk to Tamra (and he hadn’t) and to “consider the source.” This makes Tamra crazy, and she gets all loud and squeaky while following Brooks around. I see Christianity is really working for her. Why can’t anyone ever wait until after a party/dinner/lunch to create chaos? Never mind that, why can’t they wait 5 minutes? Wow, she’s reading an incredible amount into only three words.

Cool! Lisa Rinna is stopping by next episode. I love her!

Ladies of London

The two Carolines go shopping in one of those rich people’s stores where it looks half bare. These stores always seem weird to me. I guess rich people are always in a hurry and don’t have time to shop or it makes it seem exclusive if there are fewer items. I’d miss going through all the racks, especially since it would be even more fun when you could buy whatever you wanted.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s Christmas and of course everyone’s house is decorated perfectly. Caroline #2 (the Baroness) is having a Scandanavian Christmas party. I’m not sure how this is different from a regular Christmas party, but I’m guessing fish will be served. I went to a Scandanavian restaurant once and they had fish with a side of fish. (As opposed to Oklahoma where they have beef with a side of beef.) Geez, she almost dropped one of her Dachshunds and I almost had a heart attack. I have to say, I’m impressed with the Baroness doing all the work herself. She also has a bowl of Cheetos out for cocktail time. I don’t like Cheetos, but it’s cool that she’s included them as an appetizer.

I never get why people who don’t like or can’t eat the main dish make a big deal out it. Frequently, it’s because it’s meat (in this case, goose – I was wrong about the fish). I haven’t been to a huge amount of dinner parties, but I’ve been to enough to know they just don’t throw you a slab of meat. There are other dishes available. They’re called side dishes and you can actually make a meal out of them. (Ok, maybe not in Oklahoma.)

Because of last week’s whoop-de-doo over Juliet not wanting to celebrate Thanksgiving with Marissa, Juliet is now not invited to some Christmas carol thing at Royal Albert Hall. Filing this under “who cares?” Marissa doesn’t seem like a very good friend and seems a little phony. I had hopes that Londoners would be less so. Oh, wait, she’s American. Really good of her to tread on a fellow Yank’s feelings. Seriously, who needs her? Caroline #1 explains that Juliet might feel animosity too, because Marissa is married to a Brit, making it easier to get into certain social circles. Whatever. More rich people’s problems.

When they came back from the commercial break, there was a Christmas carol playing and at first I thought it was an ad for a Christmas sale already. Caroline #1 says she’ll have to drink her way through this. I would too.

Caroline #1 also owns what she calls a “gifting shop,” and has found out that two key pieces – a watch and a bag – aren’t going to be ready by the holiday. This is not good as far as funding for the store goes. At least this is something we can all relate to.

Marissa and Juliet decide to have a sit down. Marissa is being surprisingly un-emotional, but Marissa has a face like a cat’s ass and is acting like a d-bag. IMO, this seems to boil down to the whole Thanksgiving thing. While I don’t mind in the least having Thanksgiving at a restaurant, and frequently do, why can’t Marissa get it through her thick head that it doesn’t feel like home to some people?

They basically break up and Juliet feels sad about it, but Marissa can’t wait to get onto her phone and start texting. Again, who needs her? Juliet reminds me of Jill on Odd Mom Out. She’s definitely a square peg in a round hole here, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

And can we please, please stop the pop-up ads at the bottom of the screen during a show? This is especially annoying when something has subtitles. I could swear I pay for these channels, and yet I have to watch advertising throughout the whole program. Who do they think they are? The Internet?

Sep12

September 10/11, 2015 — GH Times 2, Tardy, Manzos & Zombies

Posted on September 12, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital (Thursday)

Someone please either give Morgan some medication or make him go away.

I always forget how much I like Tracy until I see her again. I’m wondering what happened to the old Paul though. Is he on another soap? Are there any other soaps? J/K. I have actually had brief affairs with soaps other than the ABC ones. I watched The Young & The Restless for a while when Marc Singer was guest starring, but when he left, so did I. I know a lot of people love it and they seem to win a ton of Emmys (although it’s been up for speculation as to why, since their cast is the biggest, ergo has more voting power), but I just couldn’t get into it. I loved Passions, which was a huge conflict, being on the same time as One Life To Live, but I recorded one and watched the other live. When Passions briefly moved to Direct TV, I was thisclose to signing up just so I could watch it, even though I live in an area of extreme weather and my neighbors advised against it. I was glad I didn’t, since that was a pretty dirty trick they played by only airing it for like 2 months. I wonder how many new subscribers were duped.

Ha-ha! I just saw one of the extras being hypnotized by the action between Julian and Dante, and then quickly pick up a phone that didn’t ring when they realized they were staring. For somebody who knew no one and didn’t even know themselves, Jake sure has gotten involved in pretty much every storyline.

The news of Sonny getting shot is slowly traveling around Port Charles. That’s because there is no local news program or any other kind of media there. Ironically, if these characters were watching the same show they’re on; they would have gotten this “breaking news” at least 12 times by now. Rick the weasel is now looking like Rick the fish gasping for air. Close your mouth, dude. I have to admit, TJ is right about Sonny saving him, but then again, he wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it hadn’t been for Sonny. Can’t Lulu use a phone to let Dante know about Julian? I hear it’s a lot faster than going there in person. Port Charles is looking a lot like Brigadoon today.

GH Part 2 (Friday)

Hospital free-for-all!

This makes no sense whatsoever, even for a soap. Sloane (who apparently has a Star Trek transporter) shows up at Wyndemere, wanting an “audience with the prince” (i.e. Nicholas), but wants Hayden to stay for the convo because she’ll “keep him honest,” (huh?), and then proceeds to blackmail Nicholas.

I do like nuSloane in some ways. The original was incredibly handsome, but a little too intense – whether because of the actor or the direction, I don’t know. NuSloane has it going on as far as temperament goes and I appreciate his acting skills, but he still reminds me of Beau Bridges, and I don’t see Anna with Beau. I’m guessing it was one of those things where they wanted to “take the character in a new direction.” That, or old Sloane got another job while Anna was away. Or maybe he didn’t like that buzzcut they gave him. I didn’t.

The job didn’t cost you Anna, Sloane. You did. He also says he was “distracted” by Nicholas’s money. He evidently wants some more distraction. It’s probably not a good idea to meet with him “tomorrow” regarding this. Most likely Nicholas will be waiting with a crossbow.

Everyone is having longer, more complicated conversations with Sonny today than they do when he’s conscious. He’s going to wake up just so he can tell them to shut up already. Sonny be all like, can I open my eyes now? I see you blinking, Maurice Benard!

Ugh! Julian. No. Just no. What a wimp.

Finally! Thank you, Elizabeth! I still don’t like you, but thanks for helping this way-too-long storyline to come to an end. Jake, I’m hoping you will officially be dubbed Jason after the weekend cliffhanger is over.

Don’t Be Tardy & Manzo’d With Children & a Couple of Random Thoughts

Just a quickie. I like these shows because they add some balance to Bravo’s somewhat b*tchy line up. I like how they’re doing a People’s Couch thing, by having the cast of the two shows watch the other. Very clever!

The Manzo brothers seem perplexed that cleaning up a woman’s house can say “I’m sorry.” You’re darn tootin’ it can! It can also say “I love you,” and whatever else you would like it to say. Kim Zolciak and her daughter agree.

Best quote – from Kim: “Why are they meeting? It must not be his ex ex.”

I know I shouldn’t watch those First Look shows, but I did anyway. I actually don’t mind spoilers so much, but I should stop myself from peeking for a different reason. When the actual show rolls around, about 10 minutes in, I’ll think I’ve seen it before. Then I’ll wonder how I could have seen it before, when it’s a new episode. Then I’ll double-check the guide. Then the light bulb will flicker on.

How stoned was Andy on Thursday’s Watch What Happens Live? He thought the quote of “I’ll never go hungry again” came from Steel Magnolias. I was going to make a joke here about how everyone knows it really comes from Fried Green Tomatoes, but then I remembered how many people will think a Facebook repost from The Onion is true.

Z Nation

I am so happy to see that this show was renewed! I love The Walking Dead, but there are many reasons that I actually like this one better. (Fear the Walking Dead hasn’t been on the radar long enough for it to register on the zombie show hierarchy scale yet.) While I adore Daryl and the gang, the characters in Z Nation have better senses of humor and for some reason, are more sympathetic to me. And they came up with the premise for Murphy, sort of the rock star of the zombie world. He’s been bitten by zombies several times, yet hasn’t succumbed to turning into one. Although he seems to be turning into some kind of hybrid. And then there’s Citizen Z.

A nerd extraordinaire, he lives in a compound in the North Pole and has set up a means of communication with the rest of the world. Periodically, he’s been able to get in touch with the merry band that we’re traveling with. He also has a beautiful Husky dog. I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives. Whoever decided to put that on a T-short had my number. One of my favorite episodes involved Citizen Z finding a Russian cosmonaut on his lawn and the two trading stories and cautiously becoming friends. In the last minutes of the episode, we realize – at the same time Citizen Z does – that this new buddy is not real at all. There has been a carbon monoxide leak at the compound. He is unconscious, and this is his brain’s way of getting him to wake up. “Remember what you know,” the cosmonaut tells him. What he knows is that he forgot to deal with the alarm that had gone off earlier.

When I watch this show, I spend a lot of time with my mouth hanging open. It’s relentless with non-stop action, and well done. I’m serious about watching it too. As you can probably tell, I’m usually doing 50 things at once. Rare is the occasion when I’m paying 100% attention, but this is good enough to suck me in for the entire hour.

When we last left the group, Murphy was estranged from them, and several nuclear missiles were headed for various places in the United States. It wasn’t looking too good for anybody. It was a slick way to leave us too, since if they hadn’t been renewed, we could assume Armageddon had happened.

Murphy: “The Apocalypse means never having to say you’re sorry.”

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Quote of the week: “I’m one nose job away from my dream.” – dude getting a rhinoplasty on Atlanta Plastic.

Sep9

September 8, 2015 — GH, a Yacht & a Party

Posted on September 9, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

The big question is — who is the mystery shooter? Franco, Nina and company are all busy right now. Julian? Too obvious. I believe Morgan would do just about anything at this point, but we know where he is. Ditto Michael. One of those generic mob guys who were at the round table? Maybe. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Everyone’s rocking their looks at the wedding that’s not going to happen. Even Bobbie’s fillers are fitting her face better. Fillers fitting face. Say that 3 times real fast. Haven’t all of Sonny’s weddings been postponed because of a shooting accompanied by an Italian aria? No music this time. Not even an Ave Maria. I feel cheated.

Yeah, I didn’t think that headband was going to stay on Avery’s head for long. How old is she supposed to be? She sure is chomping on a humongous cracker when I figured she’d still be being bottle fed.

Hayden apparently woke up a genius, since she can read an awful lot into remembering a few seconds of something.

Oh, I see. It’s the expendable stranger that was the shooter. No surprise and not much fun to try and guess either. Good for “Jake” shooting Charlie while he was babbling about shooting TJ. Tuco said it best in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, “When you have to shoot, shoot; don’t talk.”

Good job in derailing your love life nuSloane. I am so not feeling this guy.

Will someone untie TJ already? Since he hasn’t figured out that the ropes are so loose, he could have slipped out of them two days ago. Probably brought to you by the same people who won’t tell the actors that, when they’re handed a cup of coffee, at least make it look like it’s full.

Did somebody call 911 or are they just going to stand around Sonny as he bleeds out? Doesn’t everyone carry cell phones now? That reminds me of a funny scene on One Life To Live years ago. Todd was holding a small crowd hostage and asked them to hand over their phones. About 50 phones were produced and it looked like an SNL skit.

Below Deck

I don’t know what’s up with some of these kids who sign on for this job. They don’t seem to grasp that it’s actually work. Hard work. Guests pay a lot of money to charter this yacht. They’re the ones who get to have the fun, not the employees. Not to mention the fat tips they get for the work. A couple of this season’s new people don’t even seem to grasp that there are rules when you’re on the water. Rocky annoys the hell out of me. She seems like a lazy ignoramus. She was in charge of laundry, so now everyone can’t find their uniform pieces and the ones they are finding aren’t laundered properly. She claims not to have any experience in laundry. Really? I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 13. Has she ever even had a job before? Kate reminds Rocky to turn the iron off and Rocky gets offended. Another really? I’m surprised she hasn’t already burned the yacht down, or made it capsize, or something.

The dude is back that Kate designed the towel like a rocket ship for last season. She has “some ideas” for new towel art and wants to have a Greek themed party, with togas, gods and a mermaid. Chef Leon says he hates theme parties. Why he even cares, since it’s not like he has to do anything but cook, is beyond me. Where is Chef Ben when I need him? He was so much more fun & had emotions other than annoyance.

Ha-ha! This time Kate made him a palm tree. With ~~balls~~ coconuts of course.

New guy Don is a freakin’ idiot who thinks he knows everything better than everyone else. Oh that’s right, I forgot, he’s an engineer. When the first officer tells you to do something, you do it. Man, I feel sorry for Eddie and Dan (the first officer) this season.

The guests are going to catch their own food – lobster and conch – this ought to be good. Connie is in her element alongside them. She told us in the first episode that one of the things that can get her to drop her pants is “Let’s go fishing.” Apparently, she’s easy to please. Or just easy.

Pausing to ogle the Kraft Mac & Cheese commercial. I know it’s probably about one of the worst things you can eat, but I nearly got addicted to it when I was a mother’s helper for 6 years. One for you, one for me. And there were 3 kids.

A conch is harder to open than a coconut. Amy wonders why Chef Leon is mystified with this task because he’s never done it before, yet he was a chef in the Bahamas. I wonder too. Kate better come up with some even better towel concoctions, since primary guest, Dean, is a stickler for time and this is taking forever. Luckily, Dean thinks it’s “ridiculously good” when the meal is finally served. Ohhh, wait a second, what he served is what they caught. What a loser.

This week’s gem of wisdom from Kate: “Cruise ships are K-Mart and yachts are Neiman Marcus.” She added “everyone knows that,” but I didn’t know that, so she’s wrong on that point.

Don is an arrogant pr*ck. He’s basically arguing with Captain Lee about – what difference does it make? He’s arguing with the Captain. And in his talking heads segment, he says Captain Lee hardly works. Huh? Then he quits! Mid charter! He trumps Chef Leon as a double-loser.

Can’t wait for next week and the Greek party.

My Fab 40^th

This is sort of like My Sweet 16^th for older people, and instead of whining teens, we have anxious adults. The best part about the show is the fabulousness of the parties and the amount spent on them. The food! The drink! The outfits! The decorations! The cake! Theme parties with costumes are the best. (Phooey on you, Chef Leon.) Tonight, Carmine has chosen a Hunger Games party and the costumes are to die for. Even his mother is going with the flow.

Carmine thought his problem would be mixing his gay and straight friends, but IMO, the much bigger issue is running low on food. Throughout the first forty minutes of the show, he fretted about combining his social spheres, concerned that his straight friends have never been surrounded by so much “gayness.” I’m wondering how his friends can be that sheltered. Even growing up in Ohio, I went to the clubs in downtown Cleveland and wasn’t the least bit shocked when I moved to NYC (I could also read!). Only his mom really has difficulty with the atmosphere, but it’s more a question of polite conversation, people using words like “b*tch” and “queen,” terms of endearment to them, but understandably not to his mom.

All ends up well though. Carmine’s mom tells him that he’s blessed with the friends he has, and he’s happy with them too.

Total cost: $26,525 – Holy!

Sep8

September 7. 2015 — The OC & London Ladies

Posted on September 8, 2015 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Was a repeat. I remember when holidays used to mean something on the soap operas…sniff…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Let’s start right off with the insufferable Meghan. I’m all for having your partner’s back and your friends’ backs. I’m as loyal as they come. Example. One time, a good friend and I were walking down Madison Avenue. There was a guy playing bagpipes across the street, full on with a kilt & the whole outfit. She thought it was an ex of hers who had really screwed her over. She wanted to go over and punch him in the nose. I told her I’d go with her, that I would even hold him down for her, but to make sure it was the right guy because I didn’t want to go to jail for nothing. That being said, I do not drag my husband, or even other friends, into my arguments with girlfriends. Although I honestly can’t remember the last time there was an argument where I would need any back up. When I was in high school?

Why doesn’t Heather get why Vicki is outraged? Meghan is saying Vicki is covering for Brooks in the cancer conspiracy and she’s going to get to “the bottom of this.” I think she watches too much TV. She also seems to think it’s a double standard that Vicki was “getting involved” in her parenting skills. Vicki was trying to give (granted, unasked for) advice. Meghan is basically saying Vicki’s hatching some diabolical plot. Husband Jim seems distant and fed up, but I haven’t seen enough of him to determine if this isn’t his natural demeanor. Them calling each other “babe” is getting on my nerves. Can’t they remember each other’s names?

Meghan also has a breast cancer scare. It turns out to be nothing, but the cancer runs in her family, so she decides to get tested for the breast cancer gene (BRCA). Once again, she’s shocked and appalled at the suggestion that someone might not want to know if they have this. “Why wouldn’t you?” she asks indignantly. Because, you know, her way is the only way.

I like Vicki’s daughter, Briana, and often she’s the voice of reason, but I’ve never understood her hatred for Brooks. A couple of seasons ago, he got drunk and said some mean things, but she had already expressed her distaste for him before that. She’s very bored In Oklahoma. She and husband Ryan have lived there a year and have no friends. Why? I went to Oklahoma once to get together with online friends and I thought the people were very friendly and gracious.

Tamra is confused. The “sex tape” was funny, her sh*t stirring and insulting people is not. I understand her anger – she did not have the greatest first marriage. Simon came off as cold and controlling, and I have no idea what her home life was like growing up. Eddie, however, is an awesome husband. He’s always been supportive and is always willing to discuss the relationship. And he’s good looking. Where did she find this guy? Anyway, Tamra wants to know if she screws up, will Jesus still love her? Um…that’s pretty basic stuff, and come to think of it, usually a pastor doesn’t baptize you unless you’ve taken a class in the basics. A question mark is over my head here.

Heather and husband Terry are launching a skincare line on a cable shopping network. Terry says not only have they invested a million bucks, but “8 million viewers will see me act like a complete buffoon at one time.” I’m sure he’ll do fine. I love his show, Botched, with Paul Nassif.

Shannon and David are dining at the “Beador Restaurant” – a pop-up restaurant that, Shannon tells us, pops up in their home occasionally, courtesy of their daughters. The table is decorated with bobbleheads of the Beador couple and white candles. Shannon is wearing her grandmother’s custom made dress (an amazing piece!) that she says makes her feel like Alexis from Dynasty. The girls say they’re creating this dining experience for their parents to make their relationship better. Shannon thinks it’s also a do-over for her birthday dinner that was not the best. These two must be doing something right, since their daughters are very astute and precious.

Yeah, Tamra, I’m with Eddie. You should have discussed it with him before you handed your son 8k. By the time I was 30, I was married, on my second apartment, and probably my 6^th job, always trading up. I was only 24 when I asked my father to stop supplementing my income. I understand Christmas and birthday gifts, or even a bailout when something bad happens, but this dude isn’t exactly grounded, even though he has a wife and kids. Tamra says she doesn’t like it when Eddie gets mad because he rarely does (again proving his supportiveness). I’d be pissed too, and I have the feeling this will come back to haunt Tamra, especially since she told Eddie she’d make it clear to Ryan that it’s a loan, but has no intention of doing that.

Briana is being a total asshat about Brooks. (Meghan is too, but they’re saving that for next week.) Is there something I don’t know about this guy? Is Bravo going to pull Brooks’s rap sheet or secret family out of the woodwork? It seems unreasonable and ridiculous. What burns me too is, I’m not crazy about Briana’s husband, Ryan. While I appreciate that he’s a veteran, I’ve also noticed that he seems to anger easily. Like when he went apesh*t over Lydia’s mother putting her feet on Vicki’s couch during a party several seasons ago. I had the feeling that perhaps he was suffering from PTSD or some other issue stemming from being in Iraq. Either he’s having or had back surgery (my first thought was, oh great, they’ll be giving him drugs), Briana is working 2 jobs and says she has to be both mother and father to their toddler son. And she’s complaining about Brooks’s relationship with her mother? She hasn’t even seen him in 2 years and she thinks he’s a “terrible person.” Why? Just tell me why. Please.

Ladies of London

Whoa. They started with the same song that’s the theme song for Little Women of New York, and I got confused for a second.

When we last left the ladies, Annabelle had just had a serious accident while riding her horse. She broke both her back and her pelvis, and is still recovering.

Oddly enough, although she is really a Lady, and her husband’s family owns Mapperton Estate in Dorsett, Julie Montagu lives in the smallest house among the cast, has the most children, and the least amount of staff, which is to say none. It’s fun watching this Vicountess juggle 50 different things at once.

Another American, Juliet, wants a real Thanksgiving, thinking she might start a new tradition among the ladies. It’s also going to be her birthday this year. I, too, am a Thanksgiving baby. It’s one of those birthdays that either everyone remembers because it’s on or around the holiday, or everyone forgets, because it’s on or around the holiday. (I have no complaints though. At least I wasn’t born on Christmas.) Marissa (also American) tries to override Juliet’s idea, saying they should go to her restaurant where they have It every year. Juliet approaches Caroline, asking her to have Thanksgiving at her house. Rather than witnessing Juliet cry, a fate worse than death (Caroline is the perfect example of a stiff upper lip), she agrees, even though she’s having some important cocktail party the night before. When Juliet tells Marissa, Marissa gets very animated about how she wants to throw this birthday party for Juliet with a turkey cake or a cake with a turkey on it or something. In any case, she’s not happy.

In a truly inappropriate moment, Marissa brings Thanksgiving hats to Caroline’s cocktail party. In her talking head segment, she thinks that Juliet is trading her friendship for Caroline’s. I thought she just didn’t want to celebrate her birthday/Thanksgiving at a restaurant. I’m actually all for it, but some people don’t feel that way. Marissa acts like a brat, ignoring Juliet at the party. Juliet was very clear about how she felt, so why are Marissa’s feelings so hurt? Juliet didn’t even know about the cake turkey. Marissa accuses Juliet of “shopping her birthday around.” Huh?

It ends with the two of them bickering at the cocktail party. Caroline calls them “emotional Americans,” but is flattered that she’s a part of the argument.

October 10 – People’s Couch is back!