Category Archives: television

Sep18

September 17, 2015 — GH & 100 New York Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

I had an appointment – ok, I went to lunch with a karaoke friend – so I DVR’d it. Glad to see the hospital machines attached to Sonny are in working order now.  Carly was getting dangerously close to one of those tubes though, when she was petting his face.

Morgan is going apesh*t on TJ, grilling him about who Charlie’s boss is, and generally acting crazy. He doesn’t know. Accept it.

Lots of tension at the police station with the Dante/Valerie tryst, but no real moving forward with the storyline. I can’t wait!

Sonny’s daughter, Kristina, arrives on the scene at Alexis’s place. I’ve given up trying to keep whose kids are whose at this point. There are so many baby daddies and mamas, I need a scorecard.

Scotty has blackmailed Ava out of 5 million, in exchange for the flash drive that holds her confession to Connie Falconeri’s murder. Since this evidence has “disappeared,” Ava is a free woman. For now.

Julian is still swearing he’s innocent and more mushy stuff with Carly and Sonny, and Kristina and Sonny in the hospital.

The ending wasn’t bad though. Just when I thought it was nearly a total loss and I shouldn’t have bothered, Scotty and Ava arrive at his place to find it tossed. And no doubt the flash drive is gone. Morgan is also on his way to Julian’s with a gun.

The Real Housewives of NYC: 100th Episode Special

Eight years? Has it really been eight years? Only the OC Wives had been aired when NYC began, making them the beginning of the franchise. It was originally going to be called Manhattan Moms, but they don’t really explain why it was changed. I just can’t imagine it being called that.

In the first minute, this is already fun because they’re showing some clips from the Wives’ audition tapes, interspersed with individual interviews with Andy at the clubhouse. Right away, I miss Alex and Simon. And I don’t miss Jill Zarin, who declined to take part in this show. Because, you know, she is the be all and end all, and can’t believe it’s continued without her. You got fired. Get over it.

Ramona goes on once again about how weird she thought Alex and Simon were, especially since they never wanted to go out apart. Um…who’s still married? I know, I know, I’m being mean, but I’m not too fond of Ramona, who, despite her “new beginnings,” needs to get her nose out of the air. Ramona admits to not being welcoming to Alex and Simon because she felt they were co-dependent and didn’t like it. How mature of her. Simon always reminded me of someone they’d pick to be a contestant on Graham Norton’s made-up game, Gay or Eurotrash? Ramona had a lot of tense moments involving those two. And I think she’s weirder than the both of them put together.

There are some clips from the various trips they’ve taken, and I’m with the Countess, my favorite being their trip to Morocco. The markets look fabulous, and of course there was that bucking camel who almost threw the Countess. It’s interesting to see how the Countess has changed over the years. We’ve gone from “introduce me as Mrs. de Lesseps” to “don’t be all uncool.” In her underwear. Bethenny says she didn’t even know what a countess was before meeting the Countess.  To be honest, I don’t know all the particulars either, but my husband is a marquis and I can tell you that the title and three bucks will get you on the subway in NYC.

Interesting how some watched the OC show prior to being on the NYC one, but others didn’t. I’m not sure if I would or not. It’s almost like deciding if you should read the book before you do the movie. Almost.

Ha-ha! Bethenny says Jill can smell D-list fame like a dog smelling steak. I’ll bet Aviva can too.

Alex and Simon were nothing compared to Kelly, who didn’t even seem to exist on the same planet as the rest of us. Confusing Al Sharpton with Jack Nicholson is pretty out there. And today she blames the other women for an unmarketable time period after the show was aired. Like her behavior had nothing to do with it.

Oh yeah, here comes One Season Cindy. Remember her? Me neither. Heather says her first day of shooting was like the first day of summer camp. What kind of camp did she go to? Was this in the Berkshires?

The whole Jill/Bethenny feud – if that’s what you want to call it – was kind of sad. It seems that Jill thought of them as some kind of team, and when Bethenny’s career took off without her, she got mean. (Ooh, that almost rhymed.) Bethenny tells Andy that it’s not like she was in a girl band. Apparently, after that season ended, Bethenny thought all was well, but Jill waited until the cameras were rolling again to create a scene. She wanted to make Bethenny look bad, but it backfired, and she got fired. Bethenny says that Jill did indeed help to get her on the show, she became the most successful of the Wives, and Jill could have been along for the ride with her, but “pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, she wanted it all, but ended up with nothing.

One of the greatest moments in Housewives history was when Aviva threw her artificial leg on the table at La Cirque, stating that it was the only fake thing about her. She tells Andy he’s welcome, and admits to having planned it. Um, we figured that out pretty quickly, since one of those isn’t removed in 5 seconds. Let’s hope not anyway. She says “somebody had to put their foot down.” What a card! When asked for her reaction to the leg incident, the Countess says her first thought was that there’s a dirty shoe near the silverware. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have thought the same. Bethenny also talks about how Aviva was concerned she might not make it onto the show, but Bethenny reassured her that anyone who’d slept with two of the Wives exes and had one leg would be a shoo-in. I’m a card too.

Another great shining Aviva moment. When she declared that Truman Capote was the ghostwriter for To Kill a Mockingbird. Enough said about Aviva.

Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about how, during the first reunion, it was brought up that Alex had posed nude and Ramona left the stage. (BTW, nice crotch shot as she was getting up – what a lady! I hadn’t noticed that before.) This was a seriously ridiculous moment. And it wasn’t even like she posed for Hustler or something. They were art photos. Ramona is bizarrely hypocritical.

Aww! Bethenny is getting all weepy and thanking Andy for the opportunity to influence other women.

Watch What Happens Live Special: Top 10 NYC Moments

Andy shows a “Housewives Playhouse” clip with Bill Hader, Amy Schumer & Judd Apatow reenacting the scene in Turks and Caicos where the Countess offers eggs a la Francaise as a cure all for everything. Judd is playing the Countess like she’s Al Bundy. I have the feeling he’s never seen the show. Bill Hader says he doesn’t even know who his character is, but is still better than Judd. Amy, of course, is admittedly the biggest Wives fan on the planet.

We’re treated to Sonja’s first caberlesque. She really is in amazing shape. We’re also shown clips of the Ramonacoaster and Sonja’s advice. There’s a Halloweave special that I don’t remember. How could I not remember this? Simon sings I’m Real, one of the many Housewives musical efforts, except he’s not a housewife and can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket. Not that it’s ever stopped anyone else.

The Countess singing is the number one moment? Really? Okay, maybe. It was certainly the most lively moment out of what we were given. I guess Andy picked these?

I wish Andy would have another New Year’s Eve party. Like the one and only he had where Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles. It was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. And yes, I know how sad that sounds.

And, as always, we’re left with the eternal question…

WHAT’RE YOU DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?

Sep17

September 16, 2015 — Port Charles, Los Angeles & We Have a Winner

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

  

General Hospital

Hey, yeah, where has Diane been? I think the last time I saw her, she was on Devious Maids. I know she works a lot, but she couldn’t show up for Ava?

I don’t want any of these people to visit me in the hospital ever. They haven’t stopped yelling at each other for days. Julian tells Lucas that he’s really out of the mob business, and “this time it’s different.” Whenever someone uses that phrase, it’s time to not believe them.

Commercial break.There’s something called The National Sleep Foundation and they have an official pillow? Is there a mascot too? Some ad for a marathon is using Back in the New York Groove as background music. Best solo song by a KISS member (Ace Frehley) ever.

Scotty claims that Diana is no longer representing the Jeromes because she’s dating one of Sonny’s goombahs, and she ripped up the retainer check. Ava says she doubts Diana would ever rip up any check and I tend to agree.

Oh man, this whole Valerie/Dante/Lulu thing is getting good. Cool. Nathan is calling Valerie out. Good Lord, she needs to get a grip. Not that I ever was in her exact position, but back in the day, I’d eat some ice cream, cry, and then move on.

What the blip kind of room do they have Sonny in? It looks like some strange hotel and the machines he’s hooked up to aren’t even making any noise.

MasterChef: 2 Hour Finale

We start off with a race through my beloved pantry. Can we move this pantry to my house? I swear I’d cook every night. Each home cook has to make a 3 course meal and gets a sous chef, one of the contestants who was ousted earlier in the season. The judges are 30 chefs from the restaurants of Gordon, Graham and Christina.

What does a “provocative dish” mean? Is it wearing pasties or something? I wish Claudia would quit messing around with that octopus. I’ve actually eaten it and like it, but prefer the Japanese breaded and fried version. I don’t like anything I’m eating to look like it did when it was alive. OMG – she runs out of octopus because they forgot to take one out of the pot. Really? How can you forget about an octopus?

Everything looks amazing and I’d even eat the looks-like-it-did-in-the-ocean octopus. Stephen makes pan seared scallops. He’s used edible flowers, which heretofore have been a turn-off for me. Claudia has the octopus going on and Derrick has made Miso Black Cod. Derrick wins this round, both on the show and with me personally.

The pressure test is also a 3-course meal: a cheese soufflé, steak frites and panna cotta – some kind of dessert I’ve never heard of, but looks like it’s seriously hard to make, on par with the soufflé. The contestants get to SKYPE with some friends and family members. Claudia has some problem with the dessert, but I don’t have a clue as to what it is. Stephen has put his soufflés in too early and Gordon has his hand to his forehead like he has a headache. Whatever Claudia’s problem was, has apparently been solved. Graham examines one of her fancy French fries like it’s a precious diamond. I love how he always holds everything up to the light and looks at it six different ways.

Claudia wins this one and is going on to the final final. I eat my words about Stephen being the winner and make a stupid pun. Rooting for Claudia now.

Derrick is making a pork belly (nice cut of meat!) dinner and Claudia is going for a Mexican tamale extravaganza. Wow. I never noticed how many tattoos Graham has. Derrick is “infusing” practically everything with watermelon. I just prefer my fruit separate from my proteins, with the exception of pineapple on ham or pizza. I guess if you’re going to do something like that, do it with pork. The other white meat. Sorry, it just naturally follows. Citrus fruit doesn’t count either.

Uh-oh. This really isn’t good. It’s only the appetizer round and Gordon is asking why Claudia chose food he could get on a food truck and she talks about her roots and how she wanted to elevate this food style. He eats, likes, and tells her she took something common and made it unique. What looked really awful for a second has made a 180.

Derrick’s entrée is venison; Claudia’s is swordfish. Still rooting for Claudia. I don’t know how these people can cook with all the noise from the spectators. Man, I don’t know what it is that Derrick is making to go with the venison (hey, I have to eat too, and I went to the microwave), but it looks phenomenal and crunchy. Puff pastry cage. Love it, but you can have the huckleberry sauce. Gordon tells Claudia that if the fish is dry, she’s screwed. Why do they like to make the contestants all nervous? I highly doubt Claudia is going to make anything too dry. I’d make a safe bet that she knows what she’s doing.

Commercial break. Can’t wait for Scream Queens to start, but it does throw a wrench into Tuesdays, which are difficult enough.

Of course the fish isn’t dry. I said it wouldn’t be dry. Now my leftover Chinese food is looking drabber by the second. For dessert, it’s sponge cake for Derrick, but he can’t get the cake batter out of the doodad he’s using. It’s a tense moment, but Derrick emerges victorious. Owow, this is like no sponge cake I ever ate. Claudia has made a Hibiscus poached pear. It wouldn’t be my first choice because there’s no chocolate involved, but I have to admit it looks fantastic. Derrick says he served the judges “art on a plate.” Who cares? There was chocolate around it.

Ok, here comes the hokey part where the final two try to open the doors and the one that opens is the winner. Never mind, that’s the other show, Hell’s Kitchen. I watch too much of this stuff and it’s all blending in together. Claudia wins! I picked the winner! (Out of the last two anyway.)

Little Women of LA

Why can’t they rerun Little Women of LA back to back like a lot of shows do? Now I have to make a choice between that and Rick Springfield on Watch What Happens Live. I guess I’ll DVR Rick, which means it will go into the black hole of recorded shows, never to be seen.

Tonya’s idea of a workout video for little people is brilliant. As our population grows, mo’ people equals mo’ little people, and mo’ whatever other kind of people we have. It’s both helpful to others and an untapped market.

There’s a bit too much TMI regarding Christy and Todd’s artificial insemination project, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Elena is having trouble picking out a dress for her vow renewals. She wants to have everything she didn’t the first time around. It seems like what she really wants is for her sister to be at the ceremony. Apparently, you need a damn good reason to visit the US from Russia, and her sister’s application for a Visa had been rejected a few years ago.

As much as I like them, every time Christy and Todd come on screen, I want to put my fingers in my ears and do the “la-la-la” thing. The insertion process is very painful and I’m wondering why they don’t use any type of anesthesia. I sincerely hope a pregnancy results from all this.

The girls show up for the workout taping and nothing is set up. Even worse, what they have to work with is totally unprofessional. They’re basically putting up photos and a handmade banner to the wall as a background. Brilliant idea, but not very well thought out execution. All of a sudden, the girls are questioning what they’re being paid. (Pretty much nothing.) Isn’t the time to do this before you sign up? Tonya doesn’t like anyone giving her direction. Geez, I’ll bet even Alec Baldwin takes direction. Everything is taking way too long and everyone is getting worn out. Like Don on Below Deck, Tonya decides it’s just too hard and quits.

After a pep talk in the hallway, Tonya has regrouped and decided to delegate. They’re going to have to put in another day though, and Briana isn’t happy about that. I think she’s really mad about the girls’ saying she seemed jealous of Elena’s upcoming vow renewal, which Brittney just had to let her in on.

Fastest pregnancy test ever! And I really appreciate seeing Christy’s pee in a cup. I guess I should be grateful I didn’t have to see her peeing into the cup. Ugh! The test was negative. Sadness all around.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh says that social media is more important to the real estate business in L.A. than anywhere else. I think that says something about L.A. Superficiality anyone? Although I do have to say, I went to L.A. for a V convention once and it wasn’t all tall skinny blondes with fake boobs. And there was the Clifton Cafeteria.

This is another one of those shows that I enjoy, but there isn’t much to say about it. It goes without saying that the homes are fabulous or they wouldn’t be on a show called Million Dollar Listing. The brokers act obnoxious for the most part, although I’m not sure how much is for the camera. If I saw two brokers going at it the way they do on these shows, I wouldn’t want to deal with either one of them. Although we do get a glimpse into their private lives, I’ve never had much investment in these guys. Perhaps a little more in the NYC group, but having spent nearly half my life there, I tend to gravitate toward any show with that background setting.

And I just love looking at amazing places I will never be able to afford in a million years and make myself miserable.

Sep15

September 14, 2015 – GH, the OC & London Ladies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

I watched this on the fly today, but caught the main points. The main point of those main points being, we’re going to drag out this Jake/Jason thing for as long as possible. We might even spend the entire week with Elizabeth saying how bad what she has to tell him is, and “Jake” saying, it can’t possibly be that bad. Yes, it can.

Franco to the rescue! Finally, someone shoves Rick’s phone in his face along with the baby cry app. Nina tells Rick she never promised him a rose garden, and they make Rick sign or unsign some papers.

It’s nice to see the flashbacks of Sonny, but I’m still waiting for those Luke flashbacks. I guess I’m never going to get them. (sigh)

Maybe Sonny will go to heaven/hell and meet up with those guys from One Life to Live, or at least the Quartermaines who have gone before.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Jim’s daughter decided to throw a party while they were away & trashed her mom’s house. I see Meghan’s youthful mom influence has helped. Although I agree with her about LeeAnn not standing her ground with grounding. Meghan, Heather and Shannon (!) are having a meal and a confab, mostly about Brooks. Once again James Bond Meghan has contacted the doctor Brooks says he’s using, claiming to be looking for cancer treatment, and also contacted a disgruntled ex-girlfriend of Brooks (she had a friend in the same town get the number) who said he’s a phony baloney on a blog.

The doctor’s office says the doctor doesn’t treat cancer. While this sounds bad, I continue to play devil’s advocate – mostly because Meghan is such a snot rag – it’s still possible he does. Brooks said in an earlier episode that this guy treated his own cancer with polyphenols. It’s possible that this is something experimental and maybe he doesn’t want it advertised.

Tamra’s mom is newly single and going on a blind date – with Tamra and her son hiding in the bushes at a table in the background. Tamra expresses outrage at someone “60ish” wearing a low cut zebra top. It’s a really nice top and I think she’s being weird and rude. What else is new?

The thing I hate about Meghan, besides her ageism, is her attitude. While for all I know, she’s right about the whole thing, it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from a place of concern. It’s more like a vendetta against Vicki. No surprise, Jim doesn’t want to hear about it. She must have an awful lot of time on her hands.  Maybe she should get a job.

“Wow,” says Lizzie, when Meghan says what she’s been doing. Wow, indeed. After she texted the ex-girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend told Brooks. I guess she’s not disgruntled anymore. If anything had really been wrong, why would the ex do that? Is she involved in this conspiracy too.

Shannon is having a party for her and her fellow Aries (Arieses?). The decorations are awesome and there’s even a huge Chinese dragon in the pool. It’s officially a party, since Tamra has already broken a glass. Brooks asks to speak with Meghan and Jim in private. Jim looks like he wants the ground to swallow him. We get a flashback about what the psychic actually said, and it was that he had a “wishy-washy” perspective on Brook’s cancer, and he “just didn’t see it.” Although if they’d extended that flashback, we would have also seen him backpedal, saying that there were other reasons he might be getting those vibes, other than that there was no cancer ever. Meghan gripes about Vicki questioning her character, but Vicki didn’t start doing that until Meghan started putting her nose in Vicki’s business like a truffle pig.

Nobody knows what to do. I have an idea. Mind your own business and keep your mouths shut. What a concept! Unless I thought Brooks was beating on Vicki, at this point, I’d do an Elsa and let it go. If he’s a con man (which again, I’m not so sure of), he’s a smooth one and seems to treat her well.

Meghan immediately makes a beeline for Tamra after this discussion. The beans that Vicki actually spilled got credited to Tamra. Brooks said he didn’t talk to Tamra (and he hadn’t) and to “consider the source.” This makes Tamra crazy, and she gets all loud and squeaky while following Brooks around. I see Christianity is really working for her. Why can’t anyone ever wait until after a party/dinner/lunch to create chaos? Never mind that, why can’t they wait 5 minutes? Wow, she’s reading an incredible amount into only three words.

Cool! Lisa Rinna is stopping by next episode. I love her!

Ladies of London

The two Carolines go shopping in one of those rich people’s stores where it looks half bare. These stores always seem weird to me. I guess rich people are always in a hurry and don’t have time to shop or it makes it seem exclusive if there are fewer items. I’d miss going through all the racks, especially since it would be even more fun when you could buy whatever you wanted.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s Christmas and of course everyone’s house is decorated perfectly. Caroline #2 (the Baroness) is having a Scandanavian Christmas party. I’m not sure how this is different from a regular Christmas party, but I’m guessing fish will be served. I went to a Scandanavian restaurant once and they had fish with a side of fish. (As opposed to Oklahoma where they have beef with a side of beef.) Geez, she almost dropped one of her Dachshunds and I almost had a heart attack. I have to say, I’m impressed with the Baroness doing all the work herself. She also has a bowl of Cheetos out for cocktail time. I don’t like Cheetos, but it’s cool that she’s included them as an appetizer.

I never get why people who don’t like or can’t eat the main dish make a big deal out it. Frequently, it’s because it’s meat (in this case, goose – I was wrong about the fish). I haven’t been to a huge amount of dinner parties, but I’ve been to enough to know they just don’t throw you a slab of meat. There are other dishes available. They’re called side dishes and you can actually make a meal out of them. (Ok, maybe not in Oklahoma.)

Because of last week’s whoop-de-doo over Juliet not wanting to celebrate Thanksgiving with Marissa, Juliet is now not invited to some Christmas carol thing at Royal Albert Hall. Filing this under “who cares?” Marissa doesn’t seem like a very good friend and seems a little phony. I had hopes that Londoners would be less so. Oh, wait, she’s American. Really good of her to tread on a fellow Yank’s feelings. Seriously, who needs her? Caroline #1 explains that Juliet might feel animosity too, because Marissa is married to a Brit, making it easier to get into certain social circles. Whatever. More rich people’s problems.

When they came back from the commercial break, there was a Christmas carol playing and at first I thought it was an ad for a Christmas sale already. Caroline #1 says she’ll have to drink her way through this. I would too.

Caroline #1 also owns what she calls a “gifting shop,” and has found out that two key pieces – a watch and a bag – aren’t going to be ready by the holiday. This is not good as far as funding for the store goes. At least this is something we can all relate to.

Marissa and Juliet decide to have a sit down. Marissa is being surprisingly un-emotional, but Marissa has a face like a cat’s ass and is acting like a d-bag. IMO, this seems to boil down to the whole Thanksgiving thing. While I don’t mind in the least having Thanksgiving at a restaurant, and frequently do, why can’t Marissa get it through her thick head that it doesn’t feel like home to some people?

They basically break up and Juliet feels sad about it, but Marissa can’t wait to get onto her phone and start texting. Again, who needs her? Juliet reminds me of Jill on Odd Mom Out. She’s definitely a square peg in a round hole here, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

And can we please, please stop the pop-up ads at the bottom of the screen during a show? This is especially annoying when something has subtitles. I could swear I pay for these channels, and yet I have to watch advertising throughout the whole program. Who do they think they are? The Internet?

Sep12

September 10/11, 2015 — GH Times 2, Tardy, Manzos & Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital (Thursday)

Someone please either give Morgan some medication or make him go away.

I always forget how much I like Tracy until I see her again. I’m wondering what happened to the old Paul though. Is he on another soap? Are there any other soaps? J/K. I have actually had brief affairs with soaps other than the ABC ones. I watched The Young & The Restless for a while when Marc Singer was guest starring, but when he left, so did I. I know a lot of people love it and they seem to win a ton of Emmys (although it’s been up for speculation as to why, since their cast is the biggest, ergo has more voting power), but I just couldn’t get into it. I loved Passions, which was a huge conflict, being on the same time as One Life To Live, but I recorded one and watched the other live. When Passions briefly moved to Direct TV, I was thisclose to signing up just so I could watch it, even though I live in an area of extreme weather and my neighbors advised against it. I was glad I didn’t, since that was a pretty dirty trick they played by only airing it for like 2 months. I wonder how many new subscribers were duped.

Ha-ha! I just saw one of the extras being hypnotized by the action between Julian and Dante, and then quickly pick up a phone that didn’t ring when they realized they were staring. For somebody who knew no one and didn’t even know themselves, Jake sure has gotten involved in pretty much every storyline.

The news of Sonny getting shot is slowly traveling around Port Charles. That’s because there is no local news program or any other kind of media there. Ironically, if these characters were watching the same show they’re on; they would have gotten this “breaking news” at least 12 times by now. Rick the weasel is now looking like Rick the fish gasping for air. Close your mouth, dude. I have to admit, TJ is right about Sonny saving him, but then again, he wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it hadn’t been for Sonny. Can’t Lulu use a phone to let Dante know about Julian? I hear it’s a lot faster than going there in person. Port Charles is looking a lot like Brigadoon today.

GH Part 2 (Friday)

Hospital free-for-all!

This makes no sense whatsoever, even for a soap. Sloane (who apparently has a Star Trek transporter) shows up at Wyndemere, wanting an “audience with the prince” (i.e. Nicholas), but wants Hayden to stay for the convo because she’ll “keep him honest,” (huh?), and then proceeds to blackmail Nicholas.

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I do like nuSloane in some ways. The original was incredibly handsome, but a little too intense – whether because of the actor or the direction, I don’t know. NuSloane has it going on as far as temperament goes and I appreciate his acting skills, but he still reminds me of Beau Bridges, and I don’t see Anna with Beau. I’m guessing it was one of those things where they wanted to “take the character in a new direction.” That, or old Sloane got another job while Anna was away. Or maybe he didn’t like that buzzcut they gave him. I didn’t.

The job didn’t cost you Anna, Sloane. You did. He also says he was “distracted” by Nicholas’s money. He evidently wants some more distraction.  It’s probably not a good idea to meet with him “tomorrow” regarding this.  Most likely Nicholas will be waiting with a crossbow.

Everyone is having longer, more complicated conversations with Sonny today than they do when he’s conscious. He’s going to wake up just so he can tell them to shut up already.  Sonny be all like, can I open my eyes now?  I see you blinking, Maurice Benard!

Ugh! Julian. No. Just no. What a wimp.

Finally! Thank you, Elizabeth! I still don’t like you, but thanks for helping this way-too-long storyline to come to an end. Jake, I’m hoping you will officially be dubbed Jason after the weekend cliffhanger is over.

Don’t Be Tardy & Manzo’d With Children & a Couple of Random Thoughts

Just a quickie. I like these shows because they add some balance to Bravo’s somewhat b*tchy line up. I like how they’re doing a People’s Couch thing, by having the cast of the two shows watch the other. Very clever!

The Manzo brothers seem perplexed that cleaning up a woman’s house can say “I’m sorry.” You’re darn tootin’ it can! It can also say “I love you,” and whatever else you would like it to say. Kim Zolciak and her daughter agree.

Best quote – from Kim:  “Why are they meeting? It must not be his ex ex.”

I know I shouldn’t watch those First Look shows, but I did anyway. I actually don’t mind spoilers so much, but I should stop myself from peeking for a different reason. When the actual show rolls around, about 10 minutes in, I’ll think I’ve seen it before. Then I’ll wonder how I could have seen it before, when it’s a new episode. Then I’ll double-check the guide. Then the light bulb will flicker on.

How stoned was Andy on Thursday’s Watch What Happens Live? He thought the quote of “I’ll never go hungry again” came from Steel Magnolias.  I was going to make a joke here about how everyone knows it really comes from Fried Green Tomatoes, but then I remembered how many people will think a Facebook repost from The Onion is true.

Z Nation

I am so happy to see that this show was renewed! I love The Walking Dead, but there are many reasons that I actually like this one better. (Fear the Walking Dead hasn’t been on the radar long enough for it to register on the zombie show hierarchy scale yet.) While I adore Daryl and the gang, the characters in Z Nation have better senses of humor and for some reason, are more sympathetic to me. And they came up with the premise for Murphy, sort of the rock star of the zombie world. He’s been bitten by zombies several times, yet hasn’t succumbed to turning into one. Although he seems to be turning into some kind of hybrid. And then there’s Citizen Z.

A nerd extraordinaire, he lives in a compound in the North Pole and has set up a means of communication with the rest of the world. Periodically, he’s been able to get in touch with the merry band that we’re traveling with. He also has a beautiful Husky dog. I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives. Whoever decided to put that on a T-short had my number. One of my favorite episodes involved Citizen Z finding a Russian cosmonaut on his lawn and the two trading stories and cautiously becoming friends. In the last minutes of the episode, we realize – at the same time Citizen Z does – that this new buddy is not real at all. There has been a carbon monoxide leak at the compound. He is unconscious, and this is his brain’s way of getting him to wake up. “Remember what you know,” the cosmonaut tells him. What he knows is that he forgot to deal with the alarm that had gone off earlier.

When I watch this show, I spend a lot of time with my mouth hanging open. It’s relentless with non-stop action, and well done. I’m serious about watching it too. As you can probably tell, I’m usually doing 50 things at once. Rare is the occasion when I’m paying 100% attention, but this is good enough to suck me in for the entire hour.

When we last left the group, Murphy was estranged from them, and several nuclear missiles were headed for various places in the United States. It wasn’t looking too good for anybody. It was a slick way to leave us too, since if they hadn’t been renewed, we could assume Armageddon had happened.

Murphy: “The Apocalypse means never having to say you’re sorry.”

*************************

Quote of the week: “I’m one nose job away from my dream.” – dude getting a rhinoplasty on Atlanta Plastic.

Sep9

September 8, 2015 — GH, a Yacht & a Party

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

The big question is — who is the mystery shooter? Franco, Nina and company are all busy right now. Julian? Too obvious. I believe Morgan would do just about anything at this point, but we know where he is. Ditto Michael. One of those generic mob guys who were at the round table? Maybe. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Everyone’s rocking their looks at the wedding that’s not going to happen. Even Bobbie’s fillers are fitting her face better. Fillers fitting face. Say that 3 times real fast. Haven’t all of Sonny’s weddings been postponed because of a shooting accompanied by an Italian aria? No music this time. Not even an Ave Maria. I feel cheated.

Yeah, I didn’t think that headband was going to stay on Avery’s head for long. How old is she supposed to be? She sure is chomping on a humongous cracker when I figured she’d still be being bottle fed.

Hayden apparently woke up a genius, since she can read an awful lot into remembering a few seconds of something.

Oh, I see. It’s the expendable stranger that was the shooter. No surprise and not much fun to try and guess either. Good for “Jake” shooting Charlie while he was babbling about shooting TJ. Tuco said it best in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, “When you have to shoot, shoot; don’t talk.”

Good job in derailing your love life nuSloane. I am so not feeling this guy.

Will someone untie TJ already? Since he hasn’t figured out that the ropes are so loose, he could have slipped out of them two days ago. Probably brought to you by the same people who won’t tell the actors that, when they’re handed a cup of coffee, at least make it look like it’s full.

Did somebody call 911 or are they just going to stand around Sonny as he bleeds out? Doesn’t everyone carry cell phones now? That reminds me of a funny scene on One Life To Live years ago. Todd was holding a small crowd hostage and asked them to hand over their phones. About 50 phones were produced and it looked like an SNL skit.

Below Deck

I don’t know what’s up with some of these kids who sign on for this job. They don’t seem to grasp that it’s actually work. Hard work. Guests pay a lot of money to charter this yacht. They’re the ones who get to have the fun, not the employees. Not to mention the fat tips they get for the work. A couple of this season’s new people don’t even seem to grasp that there are rules when you’re on the water. Rocky annoys the hell out of me. She seems like a lazy ignoramus. She was in charge of laundry, so now everyone can’t find their uniform pieces and the ones they are finding aren’t laundered properly. She claims not to have any experience in laundry. Really? I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 13. Has she ever even had a job before? Kate reminds Rocky to turn the iron off and Rocky gets offended. Another really? I’m surprised she hasn’t already burned the yacht down, or made it capsize, or something.

The dude is back that Kate designed the towel like a rocket ship for last season. She has “some ideas” for new towel art and wants to have a Greek themed party, with togas, gods and a mermaid. Chef Leon says he hates theme parties. Why he even cares, since it’s not like he has to do anything but cook, is beyond me. Where is Chef Ben when I need him? He was so much more fun & had emotions other than annoyance.

Ha-ha! This time Kate made him a palm tree. With balls coconuts of course.

New guy Don is a freakin’ idiot who thinks he knows everything better than everyone else. Oh that’s right, I forgot, he’s an engineer. When the first officer tells you to do something, you do it. Man, I feel sorry for Eddie and Dan (the first officer) this season.

The guests are going to catch their own food – lobster and conch – this ought to be good. Connie is in her element alongside them. She told us in the first episode that one of the things that can get her to drop her pants is “Let’s go fishing.” Apparently, she’s easy to please. Or just easy.

Pausing to ogle the Kraft Mac & Cheese commercial. I know it’s probably about one of the worst things you can eat, but I nearly got addicted to it when I was a mother’s helper for 6 years. One for you, one for me. And there were 3 kids.

A conch is harder to open than a coconut. Amy wonders why Chef Leon is mystified with this task because he’s never done it before, yet he was a chef in the Bahamas. I wonder too. Kate better come up with some even better towel concoctions, since primary guest, Dean, is a stickler for time and this is taking forever. Luckily, Dean thinks it’s “ridiculously good” when the meal is finally served. Ohhh, wait a second, what he served is what they caught. What a loser.

This week’s gem of wisdom from Kate: “Cruise ships are K-Mart and yachts are Neiman Marcus.” She added “everyone knows that,” but I didn’t know that, so she’s wrong on that point.

Don is an arrogant pr*ck. He’s basically arguing with Captain Lee about – what difference does it make? He’s arguing with the Captain. And in his talking heads segment, he says Captain Lee hardly works. Huh? Then he quits! Mid charter! He trumps Chef Leon as a double-loser.

Can’t wait for next week and the Greek party.

My Fab 40th

This is sort of like My Sweet 16th for older people, and instead of whining teens, we have anxious adults. The best part about the show is the fabulousness of the parties and the amount spent on them. The food! The drink! The outfits! The decorations! The cake! Theme parties with costumes are the best. (Phooey on you, Chef Leon.) Tonight, Carmine has chosen a Hunger Games party and the costumes are to die for. Even his mother is going with the flow.

Carmine thought his problem would be mixing his gay and straight friends, but IMO, the much bigger issue is running low on food. Throughout the first forty minutes of the show, he fretted about combining his social spheres, concerned that his straight friends have never been surrounded by so much “gayness.” I’m wondering how his friends can be that sheltered. Even growing up in Ohio, I went to the clubs in downtown Cleveland and wasn’t the least bit shocked when I moved to NYC (I could also read!). Only his mom really has difficulty with the atmosphere, but it’s more a question of polite conversation, people using words like “b*tch” and “queen,” terms of endearment to them, but understandably not to his mom.

All ends up well though. Carmine’s mom tells him that he’s blessed with the friends he has, and he’s happy with them too.

Total cost: $26,525 – Holy!

Sep8

September 7. 2015 — The OC & London Ladies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Was a repeat. I remember when holidays used to mean something on the soap operas…sniff…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Let’s start right off with the insufferable Meghan. I’m all for having your partner’s back and your friends’ backs. I’m as loyal as they come. Example. One time, a good friend and I were walking down Madison Avenue.  There was a guy playing bagpipes across the street, full on with a kilt & the whole outfit. She thought it was an ex of hers who had really screwed her over. She wanted to go over and punch him in the nose. I told her I’d go with her, that I would even hold him down for her, but to make sure it was the right guy because I didn’t want to go to jail for nothing. That being said, I do not drag my husband, or even other friends, into my arguments with girlfriends. Although I honestly can’t remember the last time there was an argument where I would need any back up. When I was in high school?

Why doesn’t Heather get why Vicki is outraged? Meghan is saying Vicki is covering for Brooks in the cancer conspiracy and she’s going to get to “the bottom of this.” I think she watches too much TV. She also seems to think it’s a double standard that Vicki was “getting involved” in her parenting skills. Vicki was trying to give (granted, unasked for) advice. Meghan is basically saying Vicki’s hatching some diabolical plot. Husband Jim seems distant and fed up, but I haven’t seen enough of him to determine if this isn’t his natural demeanor. Them calling each other “babe” is getting on my nerves. Can’t they remember each other’s names?

Meghan also has a breast cancer scare. It turns out to be nothing, but the cancer runs in her family, so she decides to get tested for the breast cancer gene (BRCA). Once again, she’s shocked and appalled at the suggestion that someone might not want to know if they have this. “Why wouldn’t you?” she asks indignantly. Because, you know, her way is the only way.

I like Vicki’s daughter, Briana, and often she’s the voice of reason, but I’ve never understood her hatred for Brooks. A couple of seasons ago, he got drunk and said some mean things, but she had already expressed her distaste for him before that. She’s very bored In Oklahoma. She and husband Ryan have lived there a year and have no friends. Why? I went to Oklahoma once to get together with online friends and I thought the people were very friendly and gracious.

Tamra is confused. The “sex tape” was funny, her sh*t stirring and insulting people is not. I understand her anger – she did not have the greatest first marriage. Simon came off as cold and controlling, and I have no idea what her home life was like growing up. Eddie, however, is an awesome husband. He’s always been supportive and is always willing to discuss the relationship. And he’s good looking. Where did she find this guy? Anyway, Tamra wants to know if she screws up, will Jesus still love her? Um…that’s pretty basic stuff, and come to think of it, usually a pastor doesn’t baptize you unless you’ve taken a class in the basics. A question mark is over my head here.

Heather and husband Terry are launching a skincare line on a cable shopping network. Terry says not only have they invested a million bucks, but “8 million viewers will see me act like a complete buffoon at one time.” I’m sure he’ll do fine. I love his show, Botched, with Paul Nassif.

Shannon and David are dining at the “Beador Restaurant” – a pop-up restaurant that, Shannon tells us, pops up in their home occasionally, courtesy of their daughters. The table is decorated with bobbleheads of the Beador couple and white candles. Shannon is wearing her grandmother’s custom made dress (an amazing piece!) that she says makes her feel like Alexis from Dynasty. The girls say they’re creating this dining experience for their parents to make their relationship better. Shannon thinks it’s also a do-over for her birthday dinner that was not the best. These two must be doing something right, since their daughters are very astute and precious.

Yeah, Tamra, I’m with Eddie. You should have discussed it with him before you handed your son 8k. By the time I was 30, I was married, on my second apartment, and probably my 6th job, always trading up. I was only 24 when I asked my father to stop supplementing my income. I understand Christmas and birthday gifts, or even a bailout when something bad happens, but this dude isn’t exactly grounded, even though he has a wife and kids. Tamra says she doesn’t like it when Eddie gets mad because he rarely does (again proving his supportiveness). I’d be pissed too, and I have the feeling this will come back to haunt Tamra, especially since she told Eddie she’d make it clear to Ryan that it’s a loan, but has no intention of doing that.

Briana is being a total asshat about Brooks. (Meghan is too, but they’re saving that for next week.) Is there something I don’t know about this guy? Is Bravo going to pull Brooks’s rap sheet or secret family out of the woodwork? It seems unreasonable and ridiculous. What burns me too is, I’m not crazy about Briana’s husband, Ryan. While I appreciate that he’s a veteran, I’ve also noticed that he seems to anger easily. Like when he went apesh*t over Lydia’s mother putting her feet on Vicki’s couch during a party several seasons ago. I had the feeling that perhaps he was suffering from PTSD or some other issue stemming from being in Iraq. Either he’s having or had back surgery (my first thought was, oh great, they’ll be giving him drugs), Briana is working 2 jobs and says she has to be both mother and father to their toddler son. And she’s complaining about Brooks’s relationship with her mother? She hasn’t even seen him in 2 years and she thinks he’s a “terrible person.” Why? Just tell me why. Please.

Ladies of London

Whoa. They started with the same song that’s the theme song for Little Women of New York, and I got confused for a second.

When we last left the ladies, Annabelle had just had a serious accident while riding her horse. She broke both her back and her pelvis, and is still recovering.

Oddly enough, although she is really a Lady, and her husband’s family owns Mapperton Estate in Dorsett, Julie Montagu lives in the smallest house among the cast, has the most children, and the least amount of staff, which is to say none. It’s fun watching this Vicountess juggle 50 different things at once.

Another American, Juliet, wants a real Thanksgiving, thinking she might start a new tradition among the ladies. It’s also going to be her birthday this year. I, too, am a Thanksgiving baby. It’s one of those birthdays that either everyone remembers because it’s on or around the holiday, or everyone forgets, because it’s on or around the holiday. (I have no complaints though. At least I wasn’t born on Christmas.) Marissa (also American) tries to override Juliet’s idea, saying they should go to her restaurant where they have It every year. Juliet approaches Caroline, asking her to have Thanksgiving at her house. Rather than witnessing Juliet cry, a fate worse than death (Caroline is the perfect example of a stiff upper lip), she agrees, even though she’s having some important cocktail party the night before. When Juliet tells Marissa, Marissa gets very animated about how she wants to throw this birthday party for Juliet with a turkey cake or a cake with a turkey on it or something. In any case, she’s not happy.

In a truly inappropriate moment, Marissa brings Thanksgiving hats to Caroline’s cocktail party. In her talking head segment, she thinks that Juliet is trading her friendship for Caroline’s. I thought she just didn’t want to celebrate her birthday/Thanksgiving at a restaurant. I’m actually all for it, but some people don’t feel that way. Marissa acts like a brat, ignoring Juliet at the party. Juliet was very clear about how she felt, so why are Marissa’s feelings so hurt? Juliet didn’t even know about the cake turkey. Marissa accuses Juliet of “shopping her birthday around.” Huh?

It ends with the two of them bickering at the cocktail party. Caroline calls them “emotional Americans,” but is flattered that she’s a part of the argument.

October 10 – People’s Couch is back!

Sep7

September 6, 2015 – Cait & Some Other Ladies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

I Am Cait

This ought to be good tonight. Cait is getting together with Kris Jenner for the first time since her transition. She has a stylist coming and she’s seriously rocking a gorgeous batwing-sleeved top right now. I don’t think the stylist is going to have any trouble pulling a look together for Cait.

A lot of the episode centered on the ESPY Awards. Cait is going to receive the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage. This is also the first time she will be appearing before a large crowd as Caitlyn. Not too much pressure. It goes flawlessly and unless you’re living in a bank vault, you’ve already seen Cait in that stunning white Versace gown, designed by Donatella herself. But in case you haven’t heard Cait’s moving speech, you can watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYj4_-EroNo

Just please return after you do, and don’t get caught up in watching an hour of cute pet videos. They don’t call it “the web” fer nuttin’.

Cait tries calling Kris, but the call goes to voicemail. It’s not set up yet, so the recording says to call in later, which gives Cait the quote of the night. “Calling in later; that’s my life.”

Cait is also sad about Kris not being at the ESPYs. Me too. She’s been there to support Cait for everything for a long time, so naturally it would feel like there’s something missing.

Lots of glamour in this episode – I desperately want Cait’s oversized, tortoise shell, cat’s eye sunglasses and would buy them in a heartbeat if I had a spare $300 laying around – but there’s also a nice balance with the serious issues in the LGBT community. Cait joins her friend, Chandi Moore, in addressing a group of LGBT youth. There is a lot of discussion about paperwork and changing identities. It’s amazing, the rude questions that have to be fielded when a name on an ID doesn’t fit the person it’s issued to. Everything from the snarky calling a transgender man “ma’am” to the downright nasty, asking a woman what she has in her pants.

Cait is seriously considering using “Bruce Jenner” on an application for joining a new section of her old golf course, but decides to have her name legally changed. This is another hassle transgender people face. It can take up to a year in some states.

I found it interesting that, in seeing Caitlyn as Bruce again in flashbacks, I think she fits her authentic skin so much better. I’m sure some of that has to do with being more relaxed and confident, but she also definitely the butterfly, whereas Bruce was the cocoon.

Ha-ha-ha! A few “closet” jokes tonight. I knew that had to be coming at some point.

I should have known. The meeting with Kris has been stretched out to the next episode. What a tease!

Ladies of London

Starts Monday and I can’t wait to see these girls again! I’m especially looking forward to Julie Montagu joining the cast full time. Born in Illinois, her husband is a Viscount, and something like 400th in line for the throne.

That reminds me. Whatever happened to Almost Royal on BBCAmerica? It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Two stand up comics, playing brother and sister, 50th and 51st in line for the throne, and fooling the general public in the USA. Sort of a kinder, gentler Borat.

If you’re from the USA, hope you’re enjoying your Memorial Day weekend. Amid the final barbecues and good-by-to-summer parties, (and sobbing because Fear the Walking Dead was not on tonight) please take a moment to remember why we celebrate!

Sep5

September 4, 2015 — GH & Catching Up

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General Hospital

Now that I finally got nuKiki and TJ down, I wonder who nuSloane is every time I see him.

It’s one of those rare times I agree with Sonny – Charlie is stupid. Does he really think Sonny was born yesterday? He might have come unarmed, but I’m sure arms are right around the corner. TJ’s eyes look like they’re going to pop out of his head. I’d probably look the same if a gun was that close to my face. I’m guessing this episode is going to end with a cliffhanger bang. Who is this guy, Charlie, anyway? A mob renegade? It usually doesn’t end too well for those types, and it’s highly doubtful they’re going to kill off Sonny.

Oooh! Nice cut and color on Olivia! I see there have been new cuts and colors all around. I guess in Port Charles they have hairdresser day where everyone gets it done at once.

I’d like to know how Nicholas got to be a “pillar of the community” when he rarely even leaves Windermere? And when did Anna get this big revelation about Sloane? A lot seems to happen offstage. Is this a police station or a matchmaking operation? Jordon gets involved in a lot of people’s romantic affairs.

“Dressing – Primping – Leaving.”  The Survivor bride motto. Hey, can I buy extravagant gifts and put them on Sonny’s tab? How does Michael think Morgan got a hangover? How quickly we forget.

If aliens were watching daytime TV and saw the commercials, they’d think we’re all a sickly bunch who take a lot of medication. Ironic how difficult it is to get any of the characters to take one pill, even when they’re going off the rails.

Whoa. Wait. What happened? WTF, Sloane? Did something else happen when I blinked? Was Nicholas throwing signs? Stop toying with me & Anna! Not liking nuSloane.

Geez, Charlie turned into a big baby really fast.

Yep, my prediction was right. Not so much psychic as having watched this for 50 years.

The Haves & The Have Nots

Apparently in missing the first half hour on Tuesday, I missed a lot. All the upheaval during Jim’s live interview, after the bombshell dropped that he had 2 sons by one of his maids. Finding out that Veronica was behind his son Ryan’s near-rape in prison after Jim had put him in there to teach him a lesson. (What happened to grounding?) And the piêce de rèsistance, Jim trying to strangle Veronica in a room full of people. Whew!

But wait a second. Didn’t Candace save anything from the millions she got out of Jim? Why does she need a bankroll to prove that she can take car of her son? I love Candace and Oscar (really?) together. I hope he continues to be the nice guy he seems to be. Is that even possible on a show like this?

Now that I’ve seen the beginning, it makes a lot more sense now why Jim wants a “bloodbath.”  I thought he was just being exceptionally crabby.

Sep4

September 3, 2015 — GH & Some Lost Secrets

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Adding “the shipments” to the list of generic terms the PC mob uses. I’ll bet they’re secretly selling Amway. For the love of God, someone please say the name of the kid-whose-name-I-can-never-remember. I finally got the names down on MasterChef though Major points for me!

WHAT HAPPENED TO SLOANE??? That’s not Sloan. Who is that guy and what happened to the handsome one? All right, I’ll take the buzzcut, just bring him back. This guy reminds me of Beau Bridges. (No offense to Beau, but he just ain’t the other Sloane.) Seeing Sloane’s lovesickness over Anna has given me the earworm of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love,” except Sloan would do that too.

Somebody Morgan’s age (TJ! It’s TJ! That’s his name!) shouldn’t have that bad of a hangover. Geez, where are the days when young people went straight to brunch? If he keeps going the way he’s going, I might actually start liking Sonny. I even stopped watching GH for a while when it became The Sonny Show. While I love the spy stuff – ah, the days of the Ice Princess, the Wellington Dog, and Casey the alien (yeah, I know, I’m the only one who liked that storyline, but, Brad Lockerman) – I’ve always felt that if I want to watch mob doings, I’ll watch Goodfellas.

Is it me, or did Hayden’s hair color change when she was unconscious for so long in the hospital? Those crazy nurses!

Question. If Jublia is so great, how come the foot playing tennis still has fungus on its toes at the end of the match? The ridiculous things that bother me…

The Real Housewives of New York: Secrets Revealed

I love how they come up with new ways to milk the season. Secrets Revealed is the new Lost Footage. I’m glad they changed the title because “lost footage” seriously insults my intelligence. I have this mental picture of Andy Cohen hiding film clips in his desk until the season is over. Oddly enough, we often get some of the best footage out of the extra episodes. New earworm: “Save the Best for Last.”

Maybe there is hope. Bethenny is talking about how she was practically living on the street 6 or 7 years ago, and now she’s a skabillionaire. Although I don’t exactly have her energy.  Dorinda found an old love letter email from her late husband, Richard, that he wrote while she was sleeping. He talks about wanting to wake her, but they have plenty of years for that. Tears in everyone’s eyes, including mine.

OMG. Heather actually stopped in the middle of what she was saying and said she didn’t really care, it was basically too stupid a topic to continue with. That reminded me of the time when I was taking a musical comedy class. (You could really sing anything; it didn’t have to be from a musical.) This girl stopped in the middle of her song and said she never realized how idiotic the lyrics were, and sat down.

Sonja was defensive and needy? Has there been a time when she wasn’t? BTW, for all Sonja’s yapping about how the ladies talk about her, she sure had a lot to say about Kristen’s husband being caught up in that Ashley Madison business. My love for Sonja has waned this season. I don’t know if it’s too much drinking or what, but she seemed more unhinged than eccentric. Ow! That was my reaction to the knife in my heart when Kristen talked about breaking out her wedding dress for her 10th anniversary. Kristen seems surprised her wedding dress still fits. Really? She doesn’t look like she has an ounce of body fat. She couldn’t possibly have been thinner 10 years ago. Carole tries on the dress too. That seems kind of weird to me. I understand wanting to try them on at a store, even if you’re not the one getting married, but not somebody’s already-been-worn dress.

Ha-ha! Ramona just called Heather and Carole “Harold.” Ugh! I hate when Ramona gets all huggy/clingy. It usually happens after she’s done something awful and wants forgiveness. She makes me think of a sloth clinging to a tree. Or worse, a spider wrapping web material around a fly.

WHAT’RE YA DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?!

Sep3

September 2, 2015 — GH, the Rich, the Small & the Final Four

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The Haves and the Have Nots

This show is just so over-the-top cool! I love these Tyler Perry nighttime soaps because they evoke a revamped 70s/80s style. It’s like he refashioned old-fashioned. The actors must be having a great time with this stuff too.

Last night, I missed the beginning, because I just had to find out what the tip was on rerun of  Below Deck ($12,000), but apparently, the cat is out of the bag that Jim has two illegitimate children by one of his maids, and his popularity just took a nosedive. Jim says he’s “not having a good day,” and this is an understatement. He wants everyone dead.

His business partner friend knows that his wife, Veronica, is on Jim’s death wish list, and he’s having none of that. He tells Jim that if Veronica is harmed, he’ll show him “the like of an enemy [Jim] has never seen.” Them’s fightin’ words. Although I don’t get why David cares so much about her, since a couple of episodes ago, she tried to burn down the house with him in it.

Ah, love.

General Hospital

Aw, Jake. I like him. I just wish they’d get to telling him who he really is. So he can dump Elizabeth like yesterday’s trash. I don’t like her. I never quite understood why all the ladies loved Jason, but nuJason is very lovable.

Anna is back! At one I’d point hoped for a “love triangle” between her, Duke and Sloane, but Duke’s dead and Sloane is MIA, so there goes that. Oh, wait, they’re talking about Sloane, so he must still be around. He’s one good-looking guy, but please, GH, stay away from those buzzcuts. Maybe that’s where Sloane has been, busy growing out his hair.

Nice scene between Morgan and Sonny about the bi-polar issue, although you’d think Morgan would know all this already. BTW, I’m not too crazy about Michael either. “You’re not hung over cuz you’re still drunk.” HAHAHA, Sonny! Been there myself.

I kind of like Nicholas and Hayden, but I’d feel more comfortable with it if I didn’t think he was planning on killing her.

Molly and kid-whose-name-I-can-never-remember should go into the bakery business.  Carly & Sonny’s wedding cake looks fabulous. Whoops! Maybe not. It looks like there’s a group of masked men who just don’t like cake.

MasterChef

Everyone has to make magic from a single ingredient and their “staple pantry box.” Nick says the simplest things are the hardest to execute. I agree. I can’t make a sunnyside up egg for anything. I love Stephen’s goal to have a farm to table business.

Katrina is wearing a bow on her head again, albeit a lot smaller. I’m betting it grows by the end of the season.

Claudia says she had a dream about Gordon and she has a crush on him. Me too. He might act like a screaming mimi a lot of the time, but that’s not because he’s a nasty guy; he’s just passionate about what he does. And granted, maybe some of it is for the camera. He’s actually quite a kind and caring man, and possibly the hardest working man in the food industry. He has at least 4 TV shows, my favorite being BBCAmerica’s The F Word. It’s very different from the other programs like MasterChef, Hell’s Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares. It’s more of a food variety show, where you get to see where the food comes from, along with some cooking segments and a whole bunch of other stuff. There’s also a contest segment where a celebrity (not a chef) and Gordon compete in making the same dish. And Gordon is not always the winner.

I’m not a bleu cheese lover, but Derrick’s pretzels with bleu cheese look hella good. Claudia wins the first round, but I don’t think her crush has anything to do with it. Oh man, I desperately want their pantry. It has absolutely everything you’d ever need. I love when the winner gets to screw around with the other contestants. This time, Claudia gets to pick her favorite ingredients and one of the others will have to cook with them. A few old timers (winners from previous seasons) have also been invited back to make up baskets for the others. Christine is one of them and one of my favorites. She’s blind and I find her amazing. Nick, who got Claudia’s basket, is totally freaking out.

Katrina seriously screwed up. Undercooked veal. I don’t think that bow is going to save her either. Nick is safe though. For all his freaking out, he had the top dish. Yep, Katrina is going home. The top 4 are Claudia, Stephen, Derrick and Nick. Katrina gets a great consolation prize though. Gordon offers her a culinary trip to France when she’s ready. The bow lives on!

I’m still feeling that Stephen will be the winner. Although seriously, anyone who can hold their own on this show for any amount of episodes – hell, anyone who even made it onto the show – is a winner in my book.

Little Women: Los Angeles

Since MasterChef ran overtime, I missed the first 2 minutes, and tune in to see Tonya and Jasmine hugging it out. Dammit! What were the magic words that made that happen?

It’s a shame that the women aren’t accepting of Briana’s fiancé, Matt. He’s tired of getting the cold shoulder from Briana’s friends and I don’t blame him. While no doubt he has flaws, like Jasmine we’ve only seen Matt treat Briana with respect and love. Jasmine is the only one being cool about it – or not “being all, like uncool” as the Countess would say. If he’s only a fetishest, he’s hiding it pretty well. And he did put a ring on it.

Elena is working with a makeup company and the whatever-they-are seem to be skeptical of her idea of having a mini double-sided brush included in a palette. I’m a palette junkie and I think it’s a fine idea. Their argument is based on the fact that they’ve never manufactured something like that before. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it’s a good idea to manufacture never-before-done makeup products. Who doesn’t want something new in their makeup wardrobe? This makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Barry Gordy’s son, Kerry, wants to create a hit single for Briana, Christy is going to be in a music video, and Terra’s getting married. These girls are busy! What’s so remarkable about all of them is that, watching them, you would never know the physical struggles they go through. Their challenges go way beyond being small in stature. It seems like every one of them have other physical problems as well. Briana goes to get her hair done and has to put cotton in her ears because getting any water in them can cause 5 days of pain. My admiration grows. Also my awareness of how we all complain about such insignificant things.

Brittney is a dancer, just off of Miley Cyrus’s tour (um….) and is getting an agent. Is everyone’s life more exciting than mine? Those who can’t do, write about it.

Terra’s Little Family

It’s the season finale and time for the wedding. I am so looking forward to this!  Everything is gorgeous, especially the bride. Terra’s father is deceased and I can totally understand the hole that must be in her heart, because I had no father to walk me down the aisle either. Her brother is pinch-hitting though, as my sister did for me, and everything is just beautiful, including tiny flower girl, baby Penny in her wagon, surrounded by flowers. Terra’s dress is perfect, and her pillbox hat with a short veil works well. So does the beige dress/cobalt blue shoe combo for the bridesmaids. Terra’s heel breaks on her way down the aisle, but every wedding needs at least one hitch. For their first dance, Terra has written and recorded her own song. Is there no end to the talents these little women have?

I really love these two and wish them as much happiness as they can handle. In a sea of reality nonsense, they’re a breath of fresh air, and they show us how to handle life’s complications and hardships with grace and maturity, as well as how to do it as a couple. And they literally make me laugh out loud at least twice every episode. They’re the couple you’d love to hang out with IRL. While I totally admit to enjoying the ridiculous arguments and rich people’s problems of The Real Housewives, Terra and Joe are pearls among pebbles.

Million Dollar Listing

It tends to rotate, but now Wednesday is the problematic day of the week for me. The day of the week I have to stay up all night to catch the shows I want to see. So let it suffice to say that I’m glad to see the Los Angeles guys back. My favorite is the New York bunch, but that’s because I know the city so well. But for some reason, I just could not get into the San Francisco group as much. I did get into some of the houses, which were incredible; the brokers, not so much.

Oh, this is good though. The son of the seller of a to-die-for house wants to help out by taking potential buyers on a trip down his own Memory Lane. This guy’s jaw is wired because somebody punched him in the mouth and I understand completely.

Off the watch the finale.