What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina orders a martini in the biggest glass they have. Dillon walks into the bar. And no, that’s not the start of a joke.

Obrecht tells Finn there’s no more work for him there, so auf wiefershehen. He finishes that with so long, farewell, and good-by, referencing The Sound of Music. He’s about to leave when Carly sees him.

Paul and Anna are in cells across from one another.

Carrrlos tells Alexis he was offered a deal. She advises him to turn it down.

Julian tells Sonny that if he wanted to talk, he could have just asked. Sonny says he’s not there to talk and this is Julian’s last chance.

Dillon approaches Nina. He says he’s surprised to see her there and that he thought she and Franco were going on vacation. She says it’s not happening now, or probably ever. She says he has the right idea of just concentrating on work and that Crimson is her baby and will never disappoint her. She gets her martini and asks for a jumbo one for Dillon too. It really doesn’t look like that big of a glass. He should have given her a beer mug.

Kiki comes out because she heard a noise. Franco says sorry, he threw something. He tells Kiki that he had another fight with Nina and it was about her. Kiki says she can move out if they want. Franco says they’re at the point in their relationship when you misunderstand everything and it’s not her fault. Kiki says Nina really loves him.

Carly introduces Jocelyn to Finn. They talk about bearded lizards as she’d like one as a pet. Carly wanted an exam for Jocelyn, who has a rash, but both Griff and Brad are out to dinner. Finn says he’ll be glad to do it.

Sonny tells Julian that Carrrlos is going to spill the beans about him. He asks if Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill him too.

Alexis tells Carrrlos the deal isn’t in his best interest. He says it’s not in Julian’s best interest and sorry, he’s rejecting her offer of representation. He says he thinks he can handle signing a paper. She asks what protection he has if he does.

Paul tells Anna he can get them out of this mess if she joins forces with him. She asks why he acts like they’re allies. He says he doesn’t want her throwing her life away and she asks what his big interest is in her.

Mayor Lomax storms into the precinct, demanding why her DA is in jail. How much time does she have?

Finn examines Jocelyn. Carly says she had a kidney transplant when she was younger and she doesn’t want to take any chances. Finn asks if there are any other symptoms and Carly says she usually has a lot of energy, but she’s been sluggish lately.

Franco doesn’t want to go to work, but Kiki says she’ll be fine. He makes her promise to call if she needs anything. He leaves. She hears sirens and looks outside, telling herself it’s okay. She calls Morgan at the hospital. He’s not available, so she leaves a message to say she called. She keeps telling herself she’s okay and safe.

Nina is getting drunk and Dillon says she should slow down. She says she doesn’t have anyone to go home to, she’s free, childless and infertile. She suggests pulling an all-nighter at the office and sucks down the rest of her drink with a straw. She says they need to put their stone to the grindnose and tells the bartender the floor is uneven. Dillon helps her out the door and she keeps saying Crimson is her baby. He says he’ll drive her home.

Julian tells Sonny that Carrrlos was acting on his own. Sonny talks about Julian’s previous lies and how he’s doubtful. Julian says he didn’t even know Carrrlos was still in the country. Sonny says Carrrlos is going to finger him for Duke’s murder and he doesn’t want any backlash for Alexis or the rest of the family.

Alexis tells Carrrlos that the prosecution has the right to change its mind. He says it’s Julian they want and she says they want them both. She says Anna will want him even more.

Jordan tells Lomax that Paul was charged earlier. Lomax says she knows since she was his one phone call. Jordan explains about Sloane being the body pulled from the river and that Paul confessed to shooting him. Lomax asks if there’s a statement and Jordan says there’s a witness, Anna. Lomax says to give her a reason not to fire her right now.

Anna says Paul blackmailed her and let her think she killed Carrrlos. Paul asks why she wouldn’t want Carrrlos dead; it’s revenge for Duke and her hands are clean. She says she just wants justice now. She wants to know what the end game is and why he’s doing this. He says he’s in love with her.

Anna tells him that’s absurd. He asks why else he would have gone to such great lengths to protect her? He says that he admires her and she infuriates him in equal measure. She says there’s a significant difference between them — she owns up to her mistakes and he doesn’t.

Finn tells Carly that it’s Fifth disease, something that spreads around school every once in a while. He says it usually goes away on its own, and she’s no longer contageous, but she can be kept home from school for a few days.

Franco drops his papers everywhere and Obrecht asks if he’s throwing himself a parade. He says he’s throwing away his attempt at art therapy on himself.

Dillon gets Nina home and says he’ll make her some tea, since that’s what she drinks at the office. Nina tells him how sweet he is. She thanks him for being good to her. She says Franco doesn’t understand what she wants. She needs someone who understands and she needs him. She kisses him.

Alexis says the case is circumstantial and the state just doesn’t want a possible loss of the case. She says even if it’s a reduced sentence, one of Sonny’s people will kill Carrrlos from the inside. She says she wants to take it to trial and if she wins, he’ll be a free man.

Julian says he’s been out of the business for a while, and maybe Sonny resents that because he can’t do it. He says he’s living an upstanding life now and Sonny wants to take it away from him.

Franco tells Obrecht that he and Nina have been fighting for weeks. Obrecht says maybe they should go their separate ways. He says he loves Nina, but she wants a baby and has started to resent Kiki. Obrecht says maybe Nina needs a Kiki of her own.

Nina starts pulling Dillon’s clothes off. He asks where Franco is, and she says she doesn’t care. She passes out with his shirt under her and Kiki walks in.

Sonny says the only reason Julian is still living is because Danny needed his bone marrow, but Danny’s father is back now. He says if something happens to Carrrlos, an unfortunate accident or a disappearance, he’s holding Julian responsible. If Carrrlos dies, Julian dies.

Carrrlos says his baby needs him now, not years from now, and agrees to have Alexis represent him.

Jordan says they have DNA linking Sloane’s body to Paul. She asks Lomax for 24 hours, but Lomax says she’s not giving her another second. She says Jordan created a public relations nightmare and she wants Paul released immediately.

Anna says she has nothing but loathing for Paul and they have nothing in common. Lomax comes in and says obviously everything was a mistake. Paul leaves with her, telling Anna “ta-ta!”

Dillon tells Kiki not to get the wrong idea. She says don’t worry; she heard the whole thing. He tells Kiki how he found Nina at the bar. He hoists Nina onto hisshoulder and puts her to bed.

Franco says Nina can’t get pregnant and he doesn’t want kids. Obrecht says there are other ways to give her what she wants. She says perhaps Nina should volunteer her time. She gives some suggestions including knitting booties for Schnauzers. She says she doesn’t understand the obsession with putting animals in human clothing, but they do give you unconditional love.

Finn tells Carly that Jocelyn should be good as new in a couple of days. Obrecht comes by and wonders why Finn is still there. Carly explains that he examined Jocelyn, and Obrecht isn’t happy.

Alexis says not to tell anyone what they’ve discussed. Carrrlos tells her he never wanted to betray Julian and she says she’ll be in touch.

Carly tells Obrecht she asked Finn to examine her daughter. He tells her to go wait for the test results. Obrecht says he has no privileges to treat people there. He says anyone who would impede the health of a child is dangerous. She says he flaunted the rules and he’s the dangerous one. She tells him he’ll treat patients there over her dead body, and he gets a “hmm” look on his face.

Dillon suggests that Kiki have aspirin ready when Nina wakes up and hopes she doesn’t remember what happened. Kiki says she appreciates how kind he was to Nina. He says he hopes they didn’t disturb Kiki. She says she couldn’t sleep and he asks if she wants him to make tea for her, but she says no thanks. Morgan calls and Dillon leaves.

Max wonders if Julian will back off of Carrrlos. Sonny wants him watched around the clock since he’ll do anything to save his own ass.

Julian meets Alexis at the MetroCourt. He thanks her for taking the Carrrlos case. She says it would ruin their lives if Carrrlos exposed Julian.

Lomax says she has papers to sign. Jordan tells Paul there’s evidence out there against him and she’s going to find it.

Carrrlos ends up in the cell across from Anna.

Tomorrow, Anna has no sympathy for Carrrlos, Feliz finds out griff is Duke’s son, and more nookie for Sam and Jason.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ben is about to put something in Pete’s IV, when Nurse Tina calls Andrew. He tells her to go into Pete’s room and be cool about it. He says do it now or Pete is dead, adding to leave her phone on.

Eddie is in front of the door, but Tina says she has to check on Pete. Eddie tries to intimidate her, but she won’t have it and goes in anyway. She tells Ben she thought he worked outside, and when he says he does, she suggests he do that. Tina tells the other nurse to go get a camera to put on the patient, which is pretty disturbing to Ben. She asks him about the pain meds, but he says he kicked them.

Eddie calls Ben from like three feet away and Ben tells him Tina is putting a camera in the room. He also mentions her asking about the pain meds. Eddie tells him the nurse can tell he’s a junkie and she’s putting the camera in there to check on him, not Pete.

Tina calls Andrew and tells him about the camera idea. He says she’s brilliant and that’s why he loves her. Lushion asks what happened and Andrew says he just won a bet on a horse named Tina. Lushion calls Natalie, but she’s busy yapping with the girls.

Quan’s mother finds him on the corner and smacks him. Tilda asks if he’s doing drive-bys now. Quan says she can’t be rolling up on him and his boys and she pulls out a gun and shoots. The guys all disappear and she says they’re gone now. She says she taught him better and gave him the connections. Quan blames Julius. He says he owes Julius money and was forced into it. Tilda tells him if the cops find out it’s him, his ass is grass. She tells him if he does something that stupid again, he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of a drive-by. She also says she wants Joey dead.

Kelly checks on sleeping Alex and the baby. The other kids are sleeping too, and all is peaceful for the moment. She goes back downstairs and joins Natalie and Esperanza. Kelly says she’s going to sleep in Alex’s room. Esperanza asks if they’re safe. She says she can’t believe Brad called Alex’s parents and Kelly says they’re like something out of a 40s movie. She tells them about Alex smacking Randal around. Natalie says you never go after a mother’s child and they toast to that. Kelly tells them that Randal is suing for custody. She says that Marcie and Brad have moved in together, but it’s a roommate situation. Esperanza says what about catching them in the shed, but Kelly says she thinks that was a one-time thing. They agree the focus has to be on the baby.

Natalie and Esperanza want leave. Kelly says the good news is that she found a house for Natalie. Natalie says after all this, she wants to stay where she is. Kelly says it’s next door to her and doesn’t she want to live on their block? Sure, after all the drama that’s just happened. Kelly calls Ramses and asks if they can come by to see the house. Natalie thinks Kelly wants to see more than the house because of the way she’s smiling.

The girls go to look at the house. For women who were so worried about safety, they leave Alex alone sleeping with the kids. I love the houses on this block because they’re so colorful with gingerbread trim and look like play houses. Kelly introduces the girls to Ramses. Natalie says the house feels good. Natalie asks if she can bring Lushion by, and Kelly suggests she call him right now because they haven’t intruded on Ramses enough in the middle of the night. They go back to the house where Natalie left her phone. The girls get all giggly over Ramses, which is understandable.

When they get back, Esperanza and Natalie question Kelly about Ramses. Esperanza says she knows why Kelly was so excited to go over there. Kelly tells Natalie to call Lushion and they joke it’s because Kelly wants to go back. Esperanza asks if Kelly and Travis are done. I hope so, since he hasn’t been on the show since the first season. Natalie calls Lushion and leaves a message to call her back, explaining about the house.

Esperanza asks Kelly to tell them more about Ramses, and she gives them the condensed version. Natalie tells her to make him wait, no sex yet, and Kelly says geez, she just met him. Natalie adds she doesn’t want to go through what they did with Travis again. Kelly says sometimes they think they’re in love but it’s only a distraction to keep them from what God has for them. Kelly thinks Ramses might be the real thing, but Natalie says to take it slow.

Lushion calls back and Natalie asks him to come by to see the house. Esperanza says since no one is driving, let’s have more wine.

Quan and one of his cronies are watching Faun go to Joey’s house. Quan says they’re going to get the money from her and smoke Joey.

Faun suggests she and Joey go to a hotel, but he says his mother is gone until tomorrow. Faun doesn’t think it’s very romantic. She says she likes nicer things and he asks if it’s too ghetto. She says it’s not that, she thinks it’s not safe. She says she has money, but he says he doesn’t want that. They start making out. Maybe ghetto isn’t so bad after all.

Brad lounges on the couch and Marcie asks how long he’s staying up. He says he can’t sleep and she says neither can she. He says everything is reminding him of Alex. He says he was thinking about seeing his kids. Marcie says she’s glad she and Randal didn’t have any. He says he’d feel like a fool if he went back. Marcie says in some eyes, but the only thing that matters is what’s in his eyes. She adds that she still loves Randal, and remembers when things were good. She says she hates Alex, but Randal was a charmer. When he wants something, he won’t stop until he gets it. She says Alex was no match for him. She says once he set his sights on Alex, she was helpless.

Brad says she’s wrong. Alex is smart, cunning and manipulative, and knew exactly what she was doing. Marcie says she grew up with Virginia and Rusty, and Brad says she had to do whatever it took to distance herself and she’s strong and tough. Marcie says she hears him, but Randal has two masters degrees in psychology. She tells Brad about how he got murderers off and she wouldn’t underestimate him. He asks if she’s pushing him to go back. She says she needs help with the rent, but she wouldn’t blame him if he went back. She says she believes Alex is sorry. She says again that Alex is no match for Randal, but Brad doesn’t agree.

Brad asks what they’re going to do, just look at each other all night? Marcie suggests a movie. She says what about an action adventure film, since there’s no love story in that. Brad says he likes action. Hmm…

Lushion comes to Ramses’s house still in uniform, and Ramses asks why he’s there and what’s going on. Lushion realizes he’s the one selling the house and introduces himself. Lushion calls Natalie telling her he’s there. Lushion apologizes for the other night and says sorry about Ramses’s mom. He asks if Ramses told Natalie her mother died in the house. Ramses says no. Natalie comes out and they make small talk. Lushion suggests they could use Ramses on the force, but Natalie is like, if he stays we won’t have a house.

Ramses brings them in. Lushion says it’s really nice and Natalie says she thought he’d like it and it has three bedrooms. Lushion likes the size of the rooms. Ramses says he’s still waiting on the appraisal, but the market value is $210K. Really? The houses are cute, but not that cute. Lushion says let’s do this and he’ll call the bank tomorrow. If only it were that easy IRL.

Outside, Lushion tells Natalie he really likes the house. Lushion tells her he’s smart and ten steps ahead of Eddie, and when all is said and done, he’s coming out on top. He tells Natalie to trust him. She says it’s hard, but she will. Natalie says she loves him and he says he loves her too.

She tells him that Pete had been looking for him and left a disk for him. He asks where it is and she says in the breadbox. He says he’ll come by in the morning. She asks if everything is okay and he tells her yes, but on his way back to the squad car, he hopes the disk is still there.

Next week, Quan tells Joey he’s dead, Julius wants to know about the will, and Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion – Part One

The first topic is LVP’s flying in the little horse. We quickly move on to Kathryn’s criticism of Eileen’s bags and the expensive sunglasses debacle from several seasons ago.

We flash back to both of Erika’s personalities. We also find out that Erika owns the same dress LVP is wearing tonight. There’s talk about both Erika and LVP being married to older men. Erika talks about how people called her a golddigger when she and Tom first got together. Erika was also married before and has a son on the LAPD.

They talk about Erika bringing her glam squad to Dubai and Erika teaches us her “pat the puss” dance step, which is originally a dance hall move from Jamaica. OMG – someone tweets about Erika being too old to be prancing around. She answers graciously, but no comment from me. Andy says she seems submissive to Tom, but she says she’s being respectful. She talks about not being Erika Jayne at home.

Andy congratulates Yolanda on her kids who are models like she’s the one walking the runway. Someone asks about Yolanda missing her old walk-in fridge, and she says it’s still sending her tweets.

Now the hard part. Yolanda’s marriage. We flash back to better times that were apparently not as idyllic as they seemed. Andy says what a shock it was to everyone and asks why the divorce decision was made. Yolanda says being so ill takes the life out of you as well as the caretaker. She says David didn’t change, she did, and this is the outcome. She and Kathryn talk about divorce as a loss of a best friend and everyone says how sorry they are. Andy asks about the public criticism of David and Yolanda makes excuses for him. Sorry, I think he should be criticized.

LVP asks if she was blindsided and we flash back to an emotional moment. Yolanda says it had nothing to do with it at the time. Yolanda says she didn’t really know until after the filming. She says she didn’t know it was the end of the road and had hoped to be completely well before dealing with the issues they had. She doesn’t want to publicly analyze the marriage. Andy asks if she blames the divorce on her illness. Yolanda says they probably would be together had she not gotten sick, but that’s life. He asks what their contact is now and she says they’re taking time to settle, which I take to mean no contact.

Everyone expresses how surprised they were. LVP says there were no signs. Andy rudely asks if Yolanda confided in Erika. Erika says she’s not talking about what they talked about. Yolanda says they can dissect everything now, but it does no good.

Here it comes. Andy asks Kyle if she thinks Yolanda’s marriage could have been affecting her health. False alarm. This gets glossed over and a short discussion about menopause ensues. Andy tries to bring it back by asking if Yolanda thinks she was depressed. She says because of the circumstances, but not clinically. He asks if she thinks she’ll get married again and she says no. I hear you.

It’s Kathryn’s turn next. We flash back to some of her scenes, including the Faye Resnick stuff. They talk about Donnie being the hottest husband and unseating Mauricio for that title. Kyle says a lot of the interviews upset Faye and it’s not the person she knows. Kathryn talks about how Faye drug her and her then husband into the OJ thing. Andy talks about the OJ movie and how it was on TV around the same time Faye was on the Wives. Kathryn is sticking to her feelings, while Kyle is all rainbows and unicorns about Faye. I’m sure she’s a great friend to Kyle, who met her after all that happened, but I always get the impression she thinks she’s better than everyone else with nothing to back that up.

More OJ, Faye and Marcus Allen talk. Kathryn’s comments about LisaR’s eating habits are brought up and there’s a small discussion. Then they talk about Kathryn’s father committing suicide and she starts to cry because her nephew just died of a heroin overdose. She says her family has gone through hard times, which seems like an understatement.

Okay, here it comes. Really this time. The Munchhausen thing. I thought if I heard that word one more time on this show, I was going to go out of my mind. We flash back and I still find it odd that no one focuses on how Yolanda started to feel better after she had her breast implants removed and the kids who have Lyme disease were breastfed. Hello? Is this thing on?

We start with LisaR’s problem with Yolanda’s Instagram posts and how her illness would ebb and flow. Kyle says nobody ever questioned that she had Lyme disease, but they thought something else must be going on. I can understand the good day, bad day thing though, and I think a lot of people don’t get that. Andy asks if LisaR still believes Yolanda used her illness to her advantage and she says that’s how she felt in that moment.

Yolanda says she has trust issues with friendships now. She says LisaR had no business coming out with the opinons she did without knowing her and what was going on. The breaking for commercial music starts and I think someone’s phone is going off. I can’t believe there are only a few more minutes to the show.

Yolanda asks LisaR what her basis was for being so outspoken. LisaR says her hairdresser had a friend with Munchhausen and suggested it might be Yolanda’s problem, but it was jut a conversation. Yolanda asks why make it public then. LisaR says at her birthday party, Harry said they need to support Yolanda whether she’s sick or not and LVP said there goes our storyline. She says she subsequently got a phone call from LVP, telling her to bring it up. LVP says she rarely calls LisaR and LisaR pulls out phone records. She says she brought it up because LVP told her to. Yolanda and Erika leave the set.

Next week, more of the same, Andy asks Yolanda who she believes, Kim joins the group, and Eileen doesn’t trust LVP.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Valerie is late and literally runs into Lulu on her way out of the park. Dante comes walking in from the other side.

Nicholas says he has nothing to lose, and tells Jason to go ahead and threaten him.

Hayden tells Curtis the war with Nicholas is over and she won.

Jordan talks to Judge White, who tells her that there’s a warrant out for Anna’s arrest.

Anna tells Paul he deliberately held her back because he knows Sonny will kill Carrrlos. Paul asks where Sonny is right now.

Where Sonny is, is finding out that Carrrlos has replaced the padre. Sonny asks if it’s a trap or if Carrrlos just got lucky. Carrrlos says what difference does it make, since he’s dead either way.

Curtis asks how Hayden pulled off vanquishing the prince. Hayden says she couldn’t have done it without him and he’s glad his work is appreciated. She says she slept with an ice pick, which made her reevaluate things and give Nicholas an ultimatum. She says he’s signing the papers as they speak. Curtis says Nicholas strikes her as the type of dude that doesn’t give up easily. Hayden says she reminded him about Spencer and Laura, and that Spencer would grow up seeing his father and grandmother behind bars. Curtis asks if she has regrets and she says more than she can count.

Sam asks where Hayden is and Nicholas says don’t worry, she’s alive and well. Jason says he’s there to buy Nicholas’s shares of ELQ.

Anna tells Paul that if he thinks she’s going to tell him where Sonny is, he’s more deluded than she thought. He asks why she’s on a self-destructive path and why he has to constantly save her from herself.

Sonny asks if Carrrlos killed the padre. At first he says yes, since he’s going to hell anyway, why not go big or go home? He’s just playing with Sonny though. Sonny asks what Sabrrrina would think.

Awkward moment between Lulu, Dante and Valerie. Dante asks about graduation and Valerie says she just picked up her dress uniform. Valerie asks Lulu what she’s reading and Lulu tells her it’s a workbook for marriage counseling. More awkwardness.

Curtis tells Hayden he knows the feeling and asks what her biggest regret. She says it varies but right now it’s that everyone knows she’s Rachel Berlin, despite her best efforts to start over. He says when pay day comes, she’ll feel better. Curtis says she seems attached to Nicholas and Hayden says in the end, what’s done is done and nothing can change that.

Nicholas says the shares aren’t for sale and he’ll see Jason in court. Jason insists he wants to buy the whole 50%.

Paul tells Anna he’s always tried to work on her behalf, but she says he’s ultimately out for himself, although she’s impressed with his technique. Paul says it seems she’s stuck, and he’ll see what he can do from there and hangs up.

Jordan is about to knock at Paul’s door when he opens it. She asks what the blip is going on.

Franco tells Carly he’s going to check on Kiki. He says he knows what she did for Kiki on the pier and thanks her, although she wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it hadn’t been for Morgan. Carly says of all people, Franco should understand about mental illness. Franco says he just wants to protect Kiki from Morgan. Carly says Morgan isn’t a danger to her, but Franco begs to differ. She says he was just protecting his father. Franco asks what’s going on with Sonny.

Sonny asks if Sabrrrina and the baby are safe. Carrrlos says they’re in Puerto Rico, while he went off the grid where he wasn’t supposed to be found. Sonny says Carrrlos has nowhere to run. Carrrlos says fate brought him to the church and fate brought Sonny to him. Carrrlos makes fun of Sonny looking for him and says Sonny should have been dead a long time ago, and now he will be.

Valerie is about to leave, but Lulu stops her. She says they’ve all made horrible mistakes and when they run into each other, she doesn’t want those mistakes to be all that they see. She congratulates Valerie on the graduation and says she’ll make a good cop. Valerie thanks her and leaves.

Dante and Lulu read from the workbook. Lulu thinks it’s sweet that Dante is taking it seriously and he says he takes their relationship seriously.

Nicholas asks how many banks Jason robbed. He says he can’t possibly have enough money. Jason says he does and shows him a figure like they’re doing a real estate deal.

Curtis asks if Hayden wants him to go with her. She says too many people know what’s going on and Nicholas won’t try anything. She says she’s got good news and bad news. She doesn’t need his services any more, but once she gets the shares, she can pay him with a bonus.

Jordan tells Paul she got a call about a warrant for Anna’s arrest and asks what’s going on. He says he requested the warrant because Anna has lost her mind.

Anna starts wailing that she’s stranded and that she’s trying to save people and can’t. She pretends to cry, and when the guard gives her a hanky, she knocks him out.

Carrrlos says if Sonny had been smart, he would have stayed in the wheelchair, but instead he came looking for Carrrlos. Sonny says he bets Julian is disappointed, which gets Carrrlos pretty angry. Carrrlos makes him kneel in front of the Virgin Mary statue and tells him to pray. He wants to shoot Sonny just as he says “amen.”

Lulu tells Dante they’re supposed to tell the other person something about how they perceive them, and then perceived person is supposed to repeat it back to see if they understand one another. She says she feels that when Dante is in overprotective mode, he doesn’t always trust her.

Curtis tells Hayden that he likes her style and that if she stays in town, he hopes they could be friends. She says it’s the kindest thing anyone has said to her in a long time. They hug. Valerie, who is on her way into the restaurant, sees.

Nicholas says it’s a fraction of what the stock is worth. Jason says it’s more than he gave the Quartermaines. Nicholas says he’s not selling and Jason says he has no choice. If he doesn’t sell Jason the stock, Jason is going to the police with what he knows about Nicholas trying to kill Hayden. Wouldn’t this be a good way for Nicholas to get out of Hayden owning ELQ? What difference does the price make? It’s better than zero. Nicholas says they have a deal, but he wants it all in Spencer’s name.

Paul tells Jordan that Anna is chasing Carrrlos, and tells her what happened with Anna knocking him out. Jordan asks why she should believe him. He says the evidence will prove his story is true. She asks where Anna is now, but he says he doesn’t know.

Anna tells the unconscious guard that she’s sorry and leaves the plane.

Franco says he can tell Carly is hurt and apologizes for his part in that. He says he’s not sorry about Sonny though.

Sonny asks to say a last prayer. He talks about his sins and how he hasn’t always done the right thing. He says he knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, but he loves his family and hopes that means something. Carrrlos mocks him and says he sounds as pathetic and weak as Duke did. Obviously, this riles Sonny, and while Carrrlos is gloating, Sonny gets the gun from him and tells him it’s his turn to pray.

Sonny says when he thinks about Duke, in his heart he knows Carrrlos deserves to die. Carrrlos asks if he’s going to shoot him in a church in front of the Madonna. Sonny says that wasn’t the plan, but plans change.

Lulu and Dante attempt the exercise and she wonders how they got so out of sync. Lulu says they have to listen to each other more, so they can fix things before they get so far off track.

Hayden tells Curtis she could use a friend. She leaves and Valerie comes over to the table. He says he was just thinking about her. She says he could have fooled her and asks what’s up with Hayden.

Nicholas tells Sam he’ll never forgive her. She’s like, are you kidding after what you did to me and Danny? Nicholas says she would have been better off without Jason and there’s no good in him. He says Jason tried to kill him twice. I love how he acts like he’s some kind of good guy in all this. Jason says if Nicholas ever touches Sam again, he will kill him.

Dante gets closer and Lulu says the rules are no touching each other until they’re done working. I guess they must be done working, because they start kissing.

Curtis tells Valerie he’s allowed to have friends and Valerie is the only one he’s interested in. She was going to invite him to the graduation, but has doubts now. She says she’ll see him later. Huh?

Sam says Nicholas deserves to lose. She asks what Jason is planning on doing with the ELQ shares.

Hayden comes back and Nicholas says he sent the notary away. She says he has to sign the shares over and he doesn’t have a choice. Nicholas says it’s her that doesn’t have a choice because ELQ is no longer his to give her.

Jordan starts to call the CSU. She says they have to do a sweep. Paul says he thought she would want to keep it quiet for Anna’s sake. Jordan is like, really? He says he had the warrant issued because he wanted to protect Anna. He tells Jordan that she’s tried to kill Carrrlos before.

Sonny stands over Carrrlos with the gun. Anna comes in, distracting him. Carrrlos jumps up and a shot is heard.

Tomorrow, Morgan wants Carly off of his back, Kiki wants to go home, Andre wants to know what’s going on, and we want to know who got shot.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Marcie begs Brad not to open the summons. He does and Randal smiles crazy and nods his head. Brad moves toward Randal, but Louise and Marcie break it up.

Randal keeps laughing and saying he’s the boy’s father. He eggs Brad on and says it will make it easier for him and Alex. Like Alex even wants to be near him. Marcie drags Brad back toward the car.

Brad knocks on Kelly’s door. Alex begs her not to answer, but she asks Brad what he wants. Brad says to just open the door; he says he has something for Alex. Kelly tells him to leave it out front, but he says he has to give it to her himself. Kelly says the kids are there and they don’t need to see this. He keeps banging on the door and the kids come out of the bedroom.

Alex makes the kids go back into the room and lock the door. Kelly calls Ramses and asks him to come inside. He comes in the back door. Brad continues to bang on the door. Ramses answers and asks if they’re going to do this again. The kids see Brad and ask what’s going on.

Paisley asks if it’s about mommy having an affair and asks if they’re getting a divorce. Brad says yes. Peter says Brad told him he has to forgive people and this isn’t fair; they should just make up. Paisley wonders where they’ll go. Brad says he’ll still be close, but he doesn’t know where yet. Paisley pleads with him to stay.

Brad asks Kelly to help and she asks the kids to go back into the room with Justice because their parents need to talk. They give their dad a hug and go back in the bedroom, Paisley adding they’re not getting a divorce. Kelly tells Brad not to do this. He says he keeps getting pulled in.

Marcie tries to get Brad to leave, but he says he has to give something to Alex. He tells her to read it. She asks if he’s serving her and he says just read it. It’s a subpoena. Randal makes stupid faces in the background and Ramses pushes him off the property. Randal asks if Kelly finally got herself a man and insults her in general. She asks if he’s lost his mind and he screams for Alex.

Alex comes out in full attack mode and it’s pretty good. She whacks Randal all over the place and tells him if he plans on taking her child away, he better be in for one hell of a fight. She says she’s not doing this one more day; this is her son and she loves him. She tells Brad to go ahead and not forgive her and go ahead and have sex with Marcie or whoever he wants. She tells Randal if he keeps pushing her, she’ll show him how far a mother will go to protect her child. Randal says she can’t keep her from the baby and Alex says try her. Randal says he will. Marcie and Brad go back to the car and Alex goes inside.

Julius visits his father in the hospital. A woman is there and Julius asks who she is. His father tells her to tell him. She says she’s Tilda and she’s been with his father for 30 years. Julius acts clueless and says his father is married to his mother. Tilda says they’ve been secretly together. He asks how old she is and she says old enough. I honestly can’t believe he asked this, since she doesn’t look like a kid. Tilda says they’ve always loved each other and have a daughter a little older than Julius. Julius asks her to go outside, but his father says no. She tells Julius that Quan is also her son.

Tilda accuses Julius of having her son try to kill Eddie and shoot up the burger place. The old man says he tried to save the business for Julius, but he’s never listened. He starts getting excited and tells Julius not to disrespect Tilda. He says he swears he’ll leave everything to Tilda and his daughter and tells him to get out. He leaves and Tilda says she’s sorry.

When Tilda leaves, Julius gets in the elevator with her. He asks who the hell she is and she says his father just told him. He asks where his sister is and Tilda says she’d never tell him because he’s evil. He asks how his mother doesn’t know about this and she tells him to get out of her face. She says she’s the m-f of the year and get out of her face before she shows him.

Alex is sleeping. I’d be worn out too. Kelly tells the kids to keep it down. She apologizes to Ramses. He says he used to think his mother was stretching the truth about the drama there and Kelly tells him welcome to the neighborhood. She tells him thank you for everything and says how protective he was, and calls him a bad ass. He says it’s his military training. Kelly says he made her feel safe. Ramses says she should always feel safe.

Ramses asks what Randal was talking about when he asked Kelly if she’s buying another house she can’t afford for another man. Kelly tells him it’s a long story and says doesn’t he want to go and take a shower. He says she’s trying to change the subject. She tells him about Travis and how she thought they were getting married and bought the house in anticipation of that. She says the only thing he wanted to ask her is if they could be friends. Ramses says Travis didn’t know a good woman when he saw one.

Ramses says he knew guys like Travis in his unit and Kelly needs a man, not a boy. He leans in and Kelly thinks he’s going to kiss her, but he’s just getting his keys. He says he’d better go take that shower and he’ll talk to her tomorrow, but if she needs anything, he’s right next door. Good Lord, I wish they’d kiss already.

Ramses leaves and Alex comes out with the nameless baby. Kelly asks how long she’s been standing there and Alex says long enough. Kelly asks if she’s okay and Alex says she’s going home. Kelly thinks she should stay the night, but Alex says no. Kelly talks her into having a sleepover at her place with the girls. (How old are we?)

Nurse Tina talks to Andrew, the cop who’s worried about Pete. They know each other and he asks her to keep an eye on Pete. He says Ben is being sent over and she says he’s a drug addict and she can’t believe that’s who they’re sending. She tells Andrew about Ben’s stint in the hospital and how he was overdoing it with the painkillers. He asks that she really watch Pete, especially when Ben gets there. Tina says something is scaring him. Andrew says just watch Pete and call him later.

Natalie calls Lushion and leaves a message that she has something for him. She says she cleaned out some drawers and she’ll see him when he gets home. Esperanza calls and asks if she heard about the sleepover. Natalie asks how things are with Lushion and Eddie. Esperanza says she heard they’re going to be riding separately and Natalie says that’s good, isn’t it? Esperanza says she thinks it’s weird. Natalie says she’s worried about Lushion, but Esperanza tells her Lushion is smart and she shouldn’t worry. Natalie tells her to keep an eye on Claudia and that she was hitting on Lushion. Esperanza says she can’t stand Claudia and she’s trying to get her fired. Esperanza tells Natalie to buy a house and they’ll talk later at Alex’s.

Quan tries to kick some guys off of his corner. They won’t go and Quan says he’ll make a call to his people. Dude says he hears Quan has pissed off his people and he’s weak. He says he tried to kill Eddie and made a mess of things. He says if he catches Quan on his corner, he’s going to be Eddie’s bitch. Quan says we’ll see and leaves.

Esperanza tries to get information on Claudia, calling an old employer, but gets nowhere. She tells Lushion to call Natalie, and that they’re spending the night at Alex’s. She says she needs Lushion’s help with a problem. She says Claudia is doing a terrible job and she’s thinking of firing her. He says Claudia needs the job. Esperanza says she’s endangering people with her mistakes and she spoke to the people at her last job and they don’t know who she is. Lushion tries to defend her and Esperanza asks why and tells him what Natalie said. He says he’ll run Claudia’s file.

Lushion makes a phone call to a guy named Larry Lamont.

Loser Ben is guarding Pete. Eddie comes by and Ben says Pete is gong to pull through. Eddie says dead men tell no tales because he’s cliche like that. He gives Ben something to put in Pete’s IV since he can never do his own dirty work.

Just as Ben is about to mess with Pete’s IV, the nurse makes a phone call.

Next time, Julius tells Randal about his sister, Kelly tells the girls about Marcie and Brad moving in together and Natalie looks at a house.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is having a party that she planned long before the Dubai trip. Both Lisas are coming, but they’re not speaking to one another.

LisaR says she feels sad about the trip. She meets a guy whose name I didn’t catch for lunch and they discuss her QVC line and a talk show she has lined up. Lisa says her mouth always gets her into trouble, but wants to make some money.

Erika is glad Yolanda didn’t come on the trip. She tells Yolanda about the Munchhausen discussion, and how LisaR called LisaV a liar.

Ken tells LisaV that LisaR is a stupid bitch. Lisa says she thought Ken liked her, but he says not if she’s attacking his wife. You go, Ken!

Eileen tells Vince all about it, but like the average husband, he doesn’t really listen.

Erika says she tends to believe LisaR. Yolanda says she’s seen a pattern in LisaV’s relationships and we flash back to scenes with Kyle, Brandi and Yolanda with LisaV. While of course LisaV can do no wrong in my eyes and I want her to adopt me, this seems unfair. Girlfriends, especially those with strong personalities, are going to have altercations and Brandi is no one’s friend, despite Yolanda’s delusion about that.

Kathryn tells Donnie about it and he actually acts interested.

LisaR says she wishes she could erase the whole thing. Ken tells LisaV that LisaR isn’t “the full ticket,” and don’t listen to that stupid cow. That is so British, I laugh.

Kyle is getting ready for the party. She says everyone in Beverly Hills is always trying to outdo each other with parties, but she just likes to do what she likes to do. Amen, sista. I’d outdo, but in my own way. It all looks wonderful and it’s a house none of the ladies have seen, except for Kim. We flash back to the argument they had there.

Faye is in attendance and Kim is coming. Kim looks a lot better than the last time we saw her. She has some freakin’ color and has gained a pound. Camille is also invited. I love her. She’s a true survivor. Yolanda makes an appearance too. Yolanda and Kim have a chat about their children. Yolanda says she hasn’t found her short hair groove yet, but I think she’s rocking it.

LisaR takes Yolanda aside. Why must everyone always have these confrontations in inappropriate places? Lisa tells her about how she’s butted heads with LisaV lately. She talks about how she had said Yolanda was more manipulative than LVP and she’s sorry for that. In her individual interview, Yolanda says sometimes sorry isn’t enough and LisaR needs to STFU occasionally. LisaR tells Yolanda how LisaV is the one who first suggested Yolanda wasn’t sick, which is a flat out lie and now she’s pissing me off.

LisaR tells Yolanda she can be mad at her, and Yolanda says she’s not going to waste what little energy she has on that. Ha-ha! LisaR didn’t get the attention she wanted with that one.

LisaV says Kim looks great and asks if she’s getting shagged. I don’t want to know.

Erika and Eileen join Yolanda and LisaR. Kathryn comes by and then Kyle. They talk about Gigi doing the Victoria’s Secret stuff. Yolanda decides to have a drink. She sees LisaV at the bar and they go to chat.

Yolanda asks LisaV if she started the Munchhausen’s thing and tells her what LisaR said. Good Lord, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. This has been the main topic for weeks, and throughout Dubai, no less. Yolanda says that Lisa was friends with Mohammad long before her and she wasn’t about to confide in Lisa. The other Lisa craps her pants from a distance. Hope she’s wearing those Depends tonight.

Faye and Kyle join Yolanda and LisaV. They talk about how much better Yolanda is. Erika says something about LisaV’s cuff bracelet, which has been totally distracting me. Kathryn talks to Erika about the pecking order and how she thinks LisaR had worshiped LisaV for that reason. Erika thinks Kathryn has drunk the Vanderpump Kool-Aid and is a spokesperson for the Vanderpump brand now. Now it’s getting even more ridiculous.

Ken talks to Kim. She says she’s living in a more secluded area and loves it.

Erika asks Yolanda about her conversation with LisaV. Yolanda says Lisa denied being the harbinger of Munchausen. Yolanda wants to go sit down and they all go inside. Kim joins them and in her individual interview, LisaR says, and I quote, “Are you kidding me? Why is Kim Richards here?” Is she really this stupid? Why do you think Kim is there? Could it be because it’s her sister’s party? Does Lisa really think that Kyle would prefer her to Kim? Is this enough questions? I’m not a huge fan of Kim’s, but I’m starting to think I’d invite her to a party before I’d invite LisaR. I’ve always liked Lisa too. This has been a bit of a disappointment.

Kim wants to talk to LisaR alone. She says it’s awkward and that the last time they met, it wasn’t the best. Kim says she heard Lisa was enraged that she had lunch with Yolanda. Lisa asks what Kim wants or needs from her. Kim says it sounds like she’s carrying something against her and she wants to know what it’s about. Lisa says it’s complicated, there were things she didn’t know about, and the way Kim chooses to live her life is her business. Lisa says she hopes Kim gets better. Kim says she is better. Lisa says Kim’s life has been complicated, but Kim says she doesn’t know anything about her life. After a little more nonsense, Kim walks away.

Kim tells Kyle that Lisa was attempting to make her feel like she needs help. Kyle thinks Lisa should move on. Kim decides to go home.

LisaR tells Eileen about the conversation. Eileen says nothing has gotten resolved and it’s weird. Lisa says she’s leaving next, but Yolanda beats her to the punch. Yolanda doesn’t want to waste her energy on petty stuff and I have to agree with her on that.

LisaV tells Faye sorry she was rude to her at the other events. Pretty much everyone is leaving at this point. Faye tells Kyle about Lisa’s apology. Kyle says she judges her friends on their best moments, not their worst moments, and it’s a miracle.

The ladies hear about Yolanda’s divorce. LisaV is shocked as she thought their marriage was as strong as hers and Ken’s. We flash back to various times with Yolanda and David. Lisa talks about how David really seemed to be in love with her. Kathryn says he seems like the type who always has to be doing something. Kyle says it’s in sickness and in health, and she doesn’t know if Yolanda’s sickness affected her marriage or vice versa. Kathryn suggests maybe it’s Yolanda who fell out of love, but Lisa shakes her head.

Yolanda says she needed a healing space separate from the home she shared with David, so she gets a new condo. Erika says it has good energy. Yolanda says it feels good to be in her own space. Erika asks if anyone has reached out. Yolanda says they all have, but she feels cautious with everyone except Erika. Yolanda says divorce is like a death and if you stop making each other happy, you shouldn’t be together. She says David was her best friend and she misses that. She tells Erika her best days are ahead though, and Erika says she deserves it.

LisaR and Eileen meet for lunch. Lisa says they don’t always agree, but they always have each other’s backs. They talk about the divorce. Lisa says they knew a lot about Yolanda’s sickness, but not what was going on with the marriage. Eileen says had she been in Yolanda’s place, she might have done the same. Eileen hopes now that it’s out in the open, Yolanda will feel better.

LisaR says she never meant to hurt Yolanda, but she thought there was something else going on. I say she’s making it up as she goes along. Eileen says all she can do is be supportive.

Kyle says she’s mended fences with LisaV and she’s happy with the way things are.

Everyone has new projects coming up and Yolanda feels the best she has in three years. She says one day she and David will be great friends because even though the marriage didn’t work out, she still has love for him.

It’s the finale and we end with Yolanda and David looking at the view of their lemon grove a few months earlier, which is sad.

There was no preview, but next up is part one of the reunion. I wait with bated breath.