What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that she just saw her first firefly. I’m baffled, thinking she means the first ever, but she means this season. She asks if he remembers when Morgan would try to get them to follow him in. Sonny says, he didn’t want to catch them, and wanted them to follow him. That way, they could be friends. She says, he loved this time of year; school ending, and summer on the way. Sonny says, he’d leave the house, and not come back until dinner. She says, Josslyn is the same way, but not this year. There’s no excitement, no smile, no laughter. She doesn’t know what to do about it. Josslyn comes in with her guitar, and says she took an online lesson. She’s trying to build on the chords Oscar was teaching her. She plays for them.

In Tanzania, Drew comes to Kim’s room with Oscar’s ashes. He didn’t know if she wanted them in his room or hers. She downs some coffee, and he asks if she thinks that’s a good idea. They have a long hard climb ahead. She says she’ll be ready. He tells her Kilimanjaro is the biggest mountain in Africa. She says she doesn’t want to sleep.

TJ tells Jordan that he can’t believe that bastard won’t give her a kidney. Instead, he’s giving her a death sentence. She says she wants him to forgive Ryan – and forgive her.

Someone puts an injection into a sleeping Ryan’s IV. The machine starts beeping, and he wakes up. He begins to have a seizure.

Curtis sits in the waiting area. Stella sees him, and says she takes it Ryan refuses save Jordan.

Elizabeth and Finn run into Ryan’s room. Elizabeth says he’s seizing. Finn holds Ryan, asking if he okay. He asks if Ryan can hear him, and says he had a seizure. He says, don’t try talk. They’re going to take some tests to find out why it happened, and prevent it from happening again. Ryan says he’s going to die.

In a hallway, Franco takes off a pair of surgical gloves, and tosses them in the trash. Cameron asks when he became a doctor. He’s wondering what Franco needs gloves for.

Drew asks Kim, what’s wrong, aside from having to scatter Oscar’s ashes? Why doesn’t she want to sleep? She says, because when she sleeps, she dreams Oscar is still alive. It’s so real that she wakes up, and goes into his bedroom, fully expecting to see him there, and he’s not. So she’d rather stay awake. Even as much agony as it is, it’s better than losing him over and over again.

Carly loves that Josslyn is making good use of Oscar’s guitar. Josslyn says she wanted to learn before Oscar died. He was in the middle of teaching her, but she’d get impatient, and ask him to play instead. They never got very far. Sonny says she’s a natural, and they’ll get her lessons after she finishes school. She says she’d like that. She’s supposed to make plans and keep moving. Carly tells her to feel whatever she’s feeling, and come to them when she needs help. Sonny says, it will take a while to get on track. Josslyn keeps thinking about Oscar’s final words. He told her everything would be all right; that she would be all right, and she promised him that she would be Carly says she’ll get there. Take it day by day, and somehow remember to breathe. Josslyn doesn’t want to breathe. She doesn’t want to be dead, but it’s hard. She’ll do it for Oscar, and for everyone who’s supporting her. Carly feels the baby move, and asks Josslyn if she wants to feel her little brother or sister. Josslyn puts her hand on Carly’s stomach, and says she can feel it. They all smile.

Josslyn says, amazing, and a little weird. There’s a person inside Carly’s body. She asks what it feels like, and Carly says like she swallowed a bunch of butterflies. Josslyn says, stuff just got real. There’s a little life in there. Sonny says it scares him to death. There’s a little person waiting to be born, who needs to be loved and protected. He doesn’t want to fail. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world, and the most terrifying thing in the world. Carly says, true. Having a baby is crazy. Sonny says, a reminder that life goes on.

Franco tells Cameron that he was using acetone to clean up some paint. It eats at the skin. Cameron says it sounds nasty, and Franco says, cleaning up is nasty business, which is an interesting choice of words. He asks how Cameron is doing, and Cameron says, with? Franco says, Oscar’s death. He must miss his friend. Cameron says if he wants to talk about Oscar, or anything, he’ll Franco know. He leaves, and Elizabeth comes out. She tells Franco that Ryan had a seizure, and is getting tests. Franco says, good. He hopes that’s the end of him.

TJ asks what Jordan did that needs forgiveness. She says she tries not to dwell on what she’d do differently, but she’s sorry for the time she missed with him.

Stella tells Curtis that she’ll talk to Ryan, but he says, leave it be. She says she most certainly will not. He says he doesn’t want her in the same room with that twisted freak. She says if he’s going to tell her that he thinks Ryan will manipulate her, she just might be offended.

Josslyn asks how she’s supposed to not think about Oscar, and get used to him not being there. Carly says, you never get used to the absence of someone you love. You just kind of grow around it. Other people come into your life, and take up space in your heart, and one day you find yourself surrounded by friends and family. You look up, and realize you didn’t think about the loss for just a minute. You were able to let go. That minute stretches to another minute, then an hour. The hole in your heart is still there; it just aches little less. Sonny tells her to keep Oscar’s memory tucked away, and eventually it will be a comfort. He promises. Carly says, until then, her family will be there for her. They’ll always take care of her. She holds Josslyn.

Kim tells Drew that she knew losing Oscar would be the most painful experience of her life. The most unimaginable pain. She didn’t know how to prepare for it. She’s not a person who likes to be caught off guard. She’s a doctor, and like procedure and facts, but it’s not about her being doctor. She’s a mother who lost her son. Drew sits next to her, and she says she doesn’t know how to feel from one moment to the next. She doesn’t know if she’ll burst out in tears when she’s pumping gas, or come across Oscar’s coat in the hall closet and smile. (While I’ve never lost a child, I can totally identify with this.) She doesn’t know how she’s going to do this. How is she going to make the journey up the mountain to scatter their son’s ashes. Drew says he’ll tell her how; because she’s a great mother. She says she thought it would help, but she doesn’t know what do with it, or how say goodbye for last time to her only child. Drew doesn’t think you ever say goodbye, but he makes her a promise. As long as he’s alive, she doesn’t have to do it alone. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco the alarms went off, and she couldn’t help think it’s what Ryan deserves. He doesn’t know how she manages to be a kind and healing nurse. She says, it’s her job. She spent time with Jordan earlier, and thanked her for Franco’s award. He says it still blows him away. As sick as Jordan is, she found the energy to acknowledge him. Elizabeth says he did something heroic, but he says he didn’t volunteer, and was pretty much bitching the whole time. He’s glad Jordan coerced him though. Sometimes the end justifies the means.

Curtis says he appreciates Stella trying, but it won’t do no good. She asks how he knows. He says they’re going to fight with everything they have. Stella says he’s done everything he can and more. Let her have a go. Finn approaches them, and says he has news about Ryan.

TJ understands what Jordan had do and why. It’s not a pretty story, but somehow through it all, her, him, Curtis, and Aunt Stella are a family. Jordan thanks him, and he says he can’t lose her. He wants her to see him become a doctor and hold her grandbabies. He wants to make her proud. She hugs him, and says, he has. a million times over. There’s a knock at the door, and Finn, Stella and Curtis come in. Finn says he has something to tell them about Ryan.

Josslyn practices on the terrace. Cameron comes out, and says she’s getting better. When she builds up calluses, it will be easier. She calls him Mr. Stealth Guitar Player, and asks when he started playing. He tells her, seventh grade. He had detention, and the teacher said it would be in both their interests to keep him occupied, and keep his fingers busy. So he taught Cameron guitar. Josslyn asks why he never told anyone, and he says he didn’t think it fit his image. The teacher gave him the guitar at the end of the year, and he’s been playing ever since. He didn’t get serious until… Josslyn says, Oscar got sick. Cameron says, music can let you say things you don’t have the words to say.

Finn says Ryan’s seizure turned out to be an allergic reaction to one of his medications. Stella asks if Ryan’s kidney is still good, and Finn says it is. Ryan is conscious now, and came back charming as ever. Jordan asks if Ryan is under guard, and Finn says he can’t hurt anyone. Curtis says he’s going to get Jordan a kidney.

Elisabeth asks where Franco went earlier, and he says, Kiki’s grave. Today would have been her birthday. She says, if she’d known, she would have gone with him, but he says it was spur of the moment. He thought with Ryan in custody, he could find serenity and a way to accept what happened. She asks if he did, but he says, not at all. Ava was there, and talking to her made him realize how much rage he still has about all of it. Kiki had so much to live for; so much to give. The only value Ryan has is to maybe help save Jordan’s life.

TJ approaches Ryan’s room, where Valerie stands guard. She says he’s wasting his time. TJ says Ryan is the only one who can save his mom. Valerie can argue with him, or wish him luck. She says, good luck, and he goes in. Ryan asks if he’s come to see the wounded animal, and revel in his suffering. TJ says nothing, and Ryan says, no. He’s here for the most mundane reason of all; to beg for his mother’s life. Save it. He’s heard it all. Outside the room, Stella asks Valerie if TJ is in with him. Valerie says she tried talking him out of it, but he was determined. Stella says TJ is a wonderful young man, but he’s no match for that filth. Valerie asks if Stella thinks she is, and Stella says, watch her. Ryan says, kid, listen. Nothing less than his unconditional release and subsequent freedom will convince him to give up a kidney. Not him, his mom, not even the Mother of Dragons. It’s useless. Stella says, listen to him with his posturing attitude, ranting and raving. She tells him that he won’t be getting any rest tonight. She’s not leaving his room until Jordan gets his kidney, one way or another.

Cameron tells Josslyn that he knows the kids at school are weird, but it will stop. She says, it’s not that. She just had a deep conversation about Oscar with Sonny and her mom. She got to feel the baby move, and it was pretty cool. Cameron says, sounds good. She says she was all, life goes on, but felt like she was outside of her body, watching herself pretend be a functioning person who will someday be okay. She wasn’t lying to herself, but she doesn’t feel that way. She doesn’t want to be okay. She doesn’t want to stop thinking about Oscar, because that would be like losing him all over again.

Sonny and Carly go to Morgan’s grave. Sonny says, the first lilac of the summer. Morgan loved it because he knew summer was coming soon. Carly wishes Morgan was there. He was a great big brother. Josslyn puts up a good front, but she doesn’t want to hover. Josslyn hates it as much as Morgan did. Sonny says they know deep inside, there’s a lot of pain. Carly says Morgan could always get Josslyn to open up and be herself. She had that with Oscar too. Sonny brushes leaves from the tombstone, and says Morgan would have liked Oscar. Keep an eye out for him up there. He’s gonna need a pal.

Ryan says, the dreaded social worker. Please spare him the bleeding heart. Stella doesn’t give a flip if he mocks her. She’s a believer. He says, in what? and she says, in a higher power. A higher power we sometimes appreciate, and sometimes beg for mercy. A higher power we sometimes question, and sometimes curse. Curtis and TJ don’t understand how the stars have aligned to spare Ryan’s life and not Jordan’s. He says, only the good die young? She says he’s cheated death a few times, and it was all leading to this moment. All the horrible acts he’s perpetrated, all the victims he’s killed and damaged; every move he’s ever made, brought him to this pivotal moment. Nothing could kill him. Does he know why? He has the feeling she’s going to tell him. She says he’s obsessed with himself. He can’t bear the thought of ceasing to exist. He’s tenacious; holding on to life. If he refuses, ignores fate, and doesn’t do what cosmic forces are telling him, those forces will come together and painfully kill him. He’ll take his final breath and go straight to hell. No more quests for victims or chasing after Ava. Give up his kidney and live, or withhold it and die. The choice is his. Wow. Not what I expected.

Jordan tells Curtis the moments with him and TJ have been the happiest moments of her life. She’s happy they moved there. Curtis feels the same way. Jordan says she wanted to get her affairs in order, but she doesn’t need to. Curtis can take care of everything. He tells her, don’t give up, but she says she doesn’t have much choice. Her body can’t keep going. She loves him, and will die loving him. He says he loves her, and always will. Jordan wants him to pick up the pieces and go on living. He’ll find someone else. He says, don’t talk like that; he’s not hearing it. TJ runs in, and tells them, Ryan said yes. He’s giving Jordan his kidney. Stella got through to him. Curtis says he’d better find out. It might be a cruel joke. He leaves, and TJ tells Jordan, it’s going to be okay.

Finn asks if Ryan is consenting. Ryan says, don’t get any ideas. He’s not doing it because of Stella’s nonsense about fate and a higher power. He just wants to get her to shut up. She says, whatever works. He says, surgery without anesthesia would be less tortuous, and Finn asks if he’d like to forego the anesthesia. Ryan says, it’s called hyperbole. If he signs the forms, and he never wants to see her again. Stella says, fine with her. He says she’s the most annoying person he’s ever crossed paths with. Curtis and Stella hug.

Valerie tells Stella she was right. Ryan was no match for her. Stella tells her, don’t say that until he signs. Finn gives him the papers, and Curtis says, let’s get this ball rolling, handing Ryan a pen.

Drew tells Kim to get some sleep. He’ll be right next door. She asks if he really thinks Oscar is on the mountain. He says he can’t believe a spirit like Oscar’s could just be gone. He’s out there somewhere; wherever he wants to be. She wants to see him one more time, and know he’s okay. Her good, sweet boy out there. Drew says that’s why they’re there. All she has to do is believe.

Josslyn tells Cameron that she was thinking at the Nurses Ball. When her voice was getting thin, and she thought she’d have to stop, she looked at the crowd, and Oscar was there. He helped her through. Cameron says, amazing. He could tell Josslyn was thinking about him. Josslyn says her mom and Sonny tell her, in time, the ache will be less, and she’ll grow around Oscar’s absence. What if she doesn’t want to? No one is asking her to forget, but she doesn’t want to feel better, move on, or get over Oscar. She wants to remember how he was and is. She tells Cameron, look! Fireflies!

Sonny tells Morgan, in the middle of everything, they got incredible news. No one can take his place, but they have a new baby coming into the family. Carly says they’re going to tell the baby all about him. Sonny says, maybe the fireflies will come around and light the place up. Carly says, look! There they are!

Josslyn catches a firefly, and tells Cameron, Oscar said if you catch the last firefly of the season, and make a wish, it will come true. Maybe it works for the first one too. Cameron covers her hands with his own. She closes her eyes, and says, okay. She lets it go, and they watch. Josslyn says when she first did this with Oscar, she wished they’d fall in love, and it came true. How lucky is she? Cameron smiles.

Ryan asks if Finn realizes the most loathed man in Port Charles is about to sign a paper that says they can put him under and remove a vital organ. He’ll be vulnerable, and he wouldn’t put it past them to mess with his anesthesia. Finn says he’ll be treated with the same care and respect as every other patient. Stella says she’ll speak up for him at his sentencing. He has her word. They wait, and he finally signs, surprising us all. He throws the pen down, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Tomorrow, Willow tells Chase it’s not possible, Michael says they have to be willing to do anything to get Shiloh, Harmony visits Shiloh, and Sonny tells Jason to take Shiloh’s word for it if Jason won’t take his. In other words, lots of Shiloh tomorrow.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, David was identifying what he thought to be Jeffrey’s body, and Veronica was surprised to see someone.

David says, it’s not him; it’s not his son. Madison says, no, it’s not. David gets pissed at Madison, who says the call was from that address. He’s sorry. David says he’s fired, and stomps off. Madison cries on Tisha’s shoulder.

The door opens, and Veronica sees Jeffrey. After she gets over the initial shock, she says he’s leaving there. Justin says, it was just a joke. Jeffrey tells Justin not to talk to him. Shooting a gun with a blank isn’t a joke. Jeffrey walks off, and Veronica tells Justin that Jeffrey is leaving him. Justin says, shut your mouth, bitch. She’s already taken everything from him. She says he still has his life, and Justin says, it’s nothing without Jeffrey. She says she’ll remember that. Go back in your house, girl. Justin slams the door.

Veronica follows Jeffrey to the parking lot, where she has his car blocked. A woman asks Veronica to move her car. Veronica ignores her, and says Jeffrey needs to talk to her. The woman keeps asking Veronica to move her car, and Veronica gets in her face, telling her, shut up, bitch. The woman says she’ll call building security, and Veronica says, please do. Jeffrey tells Veronica to stop blocking his car, but she says she just wants to talk to him. She asks if that boy put a gun to him and pulled the trigger, and Jeffrey says, yes. She says she and his father thought he was dead. What the hell is happening? He says, what’s happening is her moving her car. She says she’s not moving it until she’s finished, and he says they’ll stand there all day then.

The woman brings Justin over, and points out Veronica. Echoing my thoughts, Veronica says this is their security officer? Justin says he’s an officer of law. She laughs, and says he’s got to be fired. He tells her to move her car, but she says she’s not done talking to her son. Justin says her son doesn’t want to talk to her. Veronica asks if he’s been reduced to a remedial cop now. The woman tells Justin that they should call the police, and he says he is the police. Veronica says, used to be. She calls Justin a little bitch, and he cracks her across the face, asking, who’s the little bitch now? Jeffrey steps in, and Justin slams him up against a car. Veronica beats on Justin with her bag, and the woman says she’s calling the real police. Jeffrey gets Justin in a choke hold, and David shows up. He asks, what the hell is going on? and separates them.

Veronica tells David, that thing hit her. He asks if Jeffrey is all right, and Veronica says she was the one who was hit. David tells her to stop it and calm down. Jeffrey says she wouldn’t move her car. Veronica says that boy hit her and David’s precious son, and Jeffrey let him do it. Jeffrey says he didn’t. Veronica wishes Justin had killed Jeffrey’s ass. Jeffrey can’t believe what she said, and she says it slapped her, and Jeffrey took his sweet time intervening. She can beat Justin better than Jeffrey. David tells her again to calm down, and she says he’s on this queen’s side. It doesn’t matter what happened to her; just like before. She says they can all kiss her ass, and gets in her car. She points at Justin and says, you, little girl hit the wrong bitch. You’ll see.

David asks, what happened? Justin says, his son, and David says get out of his face. Justin says David should pay him for slapping that bitch, since he can’t. Jeffrey tells Justin to go, and Justin says Jeffrey’s whole family is screwed up. Like Jeffrey doesn’t know this already. David says they thought Jeffrey was shot. He can’t see that boy again. Jeffrey says, but David can see Veronica. David says, that boy is deadly, and Jeffrey says, and mom isn’t? Jeffrey is forcing his hand. He asks Jeffrey to come home, and Jeffrey says he’ll get his things. He’s not staying there, but he’s not staying with David either. David says he can’t tell Jeffrey what’s going on with Veronica, but it’s not what he thinks. Meet him at home, and he’ll explain. Jeffrey relents, and says he’ll be there.

Wyatt paces in his room. He looks out, and sees RK coming back with the car – and the coke. RK gets out of the car, and does a little dance. Wyatt asks where the hell he’s been, and RK says, around. Wyatt tells him, throw the stuff up, but RK says, throw the money down. RK decides to knock on door, and see if anyone is home. He knocks and Wyatt flies down the stairs, yelling, he’s got it. Jim says he’ll get it. RK comes in, and Jim asks if he just walked in. RK took his wife’s car. RK says he did, but she said he could. Jim tells RK that he said he couldn’t. How did he get the keys. RK points to Wyatt, and says, his boy. Jim asks why Wyatt did that, and RK echoes, yeah, why? Jim tells him, shut up and get the hell out of his house. Wyatt says he’s stuck there, and wants RK to hang out. Jim tells RK to give him the keys and get out. Wyatt jets back upstairs.

Wyatt says goes back out on the balcony, and tells RK he’s got the money. RJ says he ain’t doing this with him, but Wyatt says he has a watch worth six grand. RK tells him, get it, and Wyatt goes into Kathryn’s room. He takes the watch, and tosses it down. He tells RK, throw it up. RK says, no, and starts to walk away. He turns back, saying he was just messing with Wyatt, and tosses the bag up. Nice catch. Wyatt says, this is it? RK says give him more jewelry, and he’ll get more product. He works at he Artisian; call him there.

The Presidential motorcade pulls up at Charles’s house mansion. He tells Candace he’ll show her around. She’s impressed, and says, it’s modern classic. She wouldn’t have figured it. He says that’s him too. She sees a picture of his wife, and says she was beautiful. He thanks her, and asks if she wants a drink. Candace says, wine, if he has it, and he pours a glass of red for both of them. She marvels over the art, and Charles tells her that his wife painted them. She says, he misses her; he says her name in his sleep. He says, like what she does with her son, and she says they’re both in the same boat. He guesses they are, and she says, it’s good they have each other. He says, exactly right, and thanks her for being there. She says for the first time in her life, she feels like she can breathe. He says that makes two of them… since his wife died. He doesn’t want to lose her, and she says she’s not going anywhere. He says, it’s not going to be easy. She says they have each other. He tells her that he’s just getting a few personal things for him and the kids, and she asks if she can help. He says he’ll show her the rooms.

Back at the hotel, Scott places the drink order that’s code for ordering a prostitute. RK says the drink doesn’t sound appealing (and it doesn’t), but Scott says it’s what he likes. He’s tired, horny, and thirsty. RK says the hotel can help him with being tired, and he can help with thirsty, but horny he doesn’t know. Scott says he must know the spots, and RK tells him to talk to Rocky. Scott says, what if he wanted a threesome or foursome? RK says he’s heard of those things being arranged, and gets Scott’s room number. He asks if he should bill it to the room, but Scott says he has ten grand, and wants RK, Rocky, and some random woman he points out, to come to the room. RK says, two guys and a girl? Scott asks if he didn’t say he was a freak. RK says give him an hour.

RK goes behind the bar, and tells Rocky that he was offered ten grand. Rocky says, to do what? and RK says, to get with the two of them and her. Rocky says she’s not a working girl, but RK says, don’t worry about that. He’s going to rob the dude’s ass. Rocky says the guy looks smart, and RK says, not to him. It doesn’t matter. Rocky thinks they should go together. RK tells him to ask Broderick to cover the bar. Broderick, who I again was calling Roderick. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me and names, but it happens IRL too. I wish everyone would just wear name tags. Rocky says, let’s make some money.

Rocky tells Broderick, it looks like they got an easy ten grand. A guy wants him and RK, and a girl. Will he watch the bar? Broderick says, sure, and Rocky asks what’s up with him? Broderick says, nothing, but Rocky says it’s written on his face. It’s Kathryn, isn’t it? Is she still all over him like cheap suit? Broderick says she’s not why he’s upset, and tells Rocky, take care of business.

Jeffrey pulls up to David’s house mansion. Madison is sitting outside, and Jeffrey asks why he’s out there. Madison says he came to get his things. David fired him. Jeffrey asks what did he do? and Madison says he made a mistake. They got a call about a gunshot victim, and Madison thought it was Jeffrey, since it was on the same street as Justin’s place. He’s sorry. Jeffrey says it could have been him. Justin pulled a gun on him. He had two guns; one on Jeffrey, and one on himself. He said one gun had a real bullet, and the other had a blank. Justin likes playing games. He actually pulled the trigger, and almost blew out Jeffrey’s eardrum. Madison asks if Jeffrey wants him to look at it, but Jeffrey says he’s fine. Madison says, it’s serious. If he doesn’t see Jeffrey again, he can’t let Justin do this. Jeffrey says he knows it, and hears enough from his parents. He says his dad should be behind him, and lets Madison in.

Madison says he’s sorry. Jeffrey says he is too, and Madison says they could have been good together. Jeffrey says Madison doesn’t even know him, but Madison says he’s seen enough to know Jeffrey goes for troubled guys. He’s punishing himself. Jeffrey repeats that Madison doesn’t know him, and he has actually studied this. Madison says, it’s always the student who can’t see, and Jeffrey tells him, get his stuff. Madison reminds Jeffrey to get on his dad about changing the bandages, and keeping his wounds dry, and goes upstairs.

Jim calls Lloyd. He needs $75K, cash, and he’s picking it up today. Lloyd says, well.. He doesn’t have it in his account. Jim says they, but Lloyd says he’s had strict instructions from Jim’s wife. She won’t give him any money. Jim asks how much is in his account, and Lloyd says, $3400. Jim asks if Kathryn knows, and says not to tell her. He’s waiting for an $8 million transfer. He’ll call when it gets there.

Outside the kitchen, Kathryn says she’s called three times. Call her back. Jim asks who’s not calling her back, and Kathryn asks what he did. He says, nothing, and she asks if he didn’t threaten Broderick. He says he didn’t have to. Broderick isn’t interested in her. She says he seems to be, and Jim says she’s going to get her ass sued. Contrary to popular belief, sexual harassment works both ways. She tells him to go find something to do. He says he could find someone to do, but she’s out of town. Jim tells her that he needs $75K in cash, and she says that’s his problem. He says it sounds like it’s their problem. If the money doesn’t get to the Malones by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on their son. Kathryn asks, what kind of hit? and he says, how many kinds are there? They’ll kill him. Does she think he’s talking about a hit record? Kathryn says Wyatt bought that much in drugs? Jim says, no; they’re saying it’s for pain and suffering. She says, give it to them, and he says he doesn’t have it. He needs her to call Lloyd. She asks why she should. He says, would she like to bury another child? She says, that’s not fair, and he says, call and get the money.

Kathryn calls, and makes small talk with Lloyd. She tells him that she needs $75K cash. She’ll send her errand boy to pick it up. Lloyd might know him. His name is Jim. She tells Lloyd not to say that about Jim, and laughs. When she’s done, Jim asks if that was so difficult. She says, it better be for Wyatt, and he says, who else? She says, one of his whores, but he says, her whores are the ones currently charging those rates. Last night’s wore took her car. She says, it’s back, isn’t it? He says she’s some piece of work, and she says he’s some piece of sh*t.

Scott tells the Attorney General that he was right. The AG asks what Scott found, and Scott gives him a folder. The AG says, he knew it. Scott asks if he was robbed at gunpoint, and the AG says, something like that. Scott says the Artisian keeps security records. The head of security is ex-military, and runs it like it’s war time. He got the tapes, and also got this. He gives the AG another folder. It shows the time the AG spent in Candace’s room. The AG says, it’s perfect. Scott shows him Jim’s picture, saying he’s a judge who was running for governor, but was disgraced by his mistress. She blackmailed him for a lot of money. Her name was Candace Young. The AG says, it gets better and better. He tells Scott, set up a discreet meeting. Scott says, that could backfire, but the AG says, this man is his kind of guy.

Veronica goes to the station. For a second, I think the desk sergeant is Rick (If Loving You Is Wrong), but it’s not. Veronica says she’s been assaulted. He tells her to fill out the paperwork, but she says she just wants him arrested. It’s Officer Justin Lewis. The sergeant says, okay. She says she wants him picked up. He was harassing her son, and when she stepped in to help out, he hit her. She shows him the mark on her face, but he doesn’t see it. She tells him, look closer, and he says he needs the paperwork. She pulls the restraining order out of her bag, and says she also has a lawsuit against him. And in the event of his death, a lawsuit against his estate, his wife, and his children. If he doesn’t have Justin picked up now, his job is on the line. She asks if he’s new, and he says he is. She tells him, get someone experienced who can handle this, and he says okay, probably desperate to get rid of her.

The Chief comes out, and Veronica tells him what happened, and says to let her know when Justin is in custody. He says, it doesn’t work that way. She says wants Justin arrested, now. The Chief wants to know what he did, and she shows him an affidavit. He looks at it, and says, okay. They’ll pick Justin up. Veronica asks what jail he’ll be taken to, and the Chief says, this one. She says they can call her when Justin gets there, but he says, that’s not protocol. She says she’s not their average bitch, and he says, okay. Because by now, he’s been sufficiently terrorized enough to just say okay to anything.

Veronica makes a call. She tells someone she wants him and five others to get themselves arrested in Precinct 11. She tells him to find some friends who like to rape and maim. He needs to do it quickly. She’ll give them $5K to split. She tells him to get arrested now.

Hanna and Benny go to the bank. The officer says she still has their signatures, and leaves to get the paperwork for Benny. Benny starts to talk, but Hanna says, nothing out of his mouth. They’re giving the money back. The officer returns, and Benny signs the papers. Hanna says they want to transfer everything except $20K. The officer looks at the account, and asks how much she thinks is in there. Hanna says $8 million, plus interest. The officer says, sorry, but the account is overdrawn by $4K. There’s no money in the account. Hanna looks at Benny, and says, his damn sister.

Next time, Charles says if the story hits and Landon can’t spin it, he’s fired; Justin gets arrested, and Veronica tells him that she bets he thinks twice before hitting a woman again; Jeffrey tells David, maybe death is better than being in this family.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We see clips of the wildfires in California. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are in a car on the phone with Camille, then Denise. Camille is under mandatory evacuation. Denise thinks her house might be burning down.

Five days earlier. Dorit is choosing girls for a photo shoot. Kyle fixes Portia’s hair. Teddi gives Slade a riding lesson.

Erika meets LisaR for Mexican food. Erica compliments LisaR on her CVLUX cover. LisaR says it was a fun shoot. She asks if Erika had fun at the party, and Erika says she had the best time ever watching LisaR. We flash back to them on the Ferris wheel. In her interview, Erika says she loves that LisaR came to Farrahween as Erika at Coachella. When you’re a Halloween costume, you’ve made it. I have to agree with that. LisaE says she and Kim have moved on from their feud. In LisaR’s interview, she says she always liked Kim, and it’s time for the healing to take place. She tells Erika that she’s totally cool if someone says something negative to her face, but Camille says one thing to them, then talks behind their backs. Hmm… Isn’t she doing the same thing right now? Erika says Teddi told her what happened in the van. LisaR says Camille said a couple of things about Dorit that weren’t lovely, and said some things about Teddi to Denise. In Erika’s interview, she says she understands they’re frustrated with camille. They’ve gone to her events, and they’re feeling betrayed. Erika says Camille has a beef with pretty much everyone. LisaR says, she doesn’t know she has a beef with Dorit, and Erika says, but she’s about to.

Dorit talks the models through the shoot. She’s so excited and proud of her line growing, and becoming something she’s proud of. In her interview, she says, today is important. They’re shooting footage for a Kitson window display. I’m confused, since I thought Kitson went out of business. She says, it’s an incredible honor, and she wants to nail it. PK brings the kids to the shoot, and she tells Jagger that he needs to help mommy sell boys shorts. Jagger poses for pictures solo, and then with other models. Dorit’s assistant, Kimberly, forgot some pieces. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done a ton of photo shoots, and never remembers a time when something didn’t go wrong. It’s important for everything to be perfect. A lot of time, money, and effort goes into it, to make it go without a hitch. They have to make the most and best of the situation. They do a final shot of all the models together with Jagger. Everyone applauds.

Kyle’s dogs are out of control, and she runs out after them. She wonders why they can’t behave. She calls Marlena from Hosted Villas about a Chateau Ventoux in Provence. She says she’s thinking of bringing girlfriends, and wants to check dates. In her interview, she says they’ve been doing a lot of trips, and she saw the chateau is a Vogue article about Provence. She thought it was perfect. She asks Marlena about the staff, and asks if they can have a chef. She thinks it sounds amazing, and says she’ll call back after she confirms with the other girls.

She calls the others to lock down a date. In Kyle’s interview, she says the Bahamas was fun, but tense. The camping trip was really fun, but not glamorous. She wants go somewhere fun, chic, and exiting, where they can relax and bond. Teddi tells Kyle that she’s 99% sure she can go, but wants to run it by her husband. Kyle says maybe she should do that too.

Harry gets ready to grill. LisaR says it’s hard to keep track which daughter is vegetarian. In her interview, she says more than anything she loves having the whole family home. Lately, Harry has either been in Canada or camping, and the girls have been traveling. When she’s alone, she comes up with things to entertain herself. We see her bouncing around on Instagram. Harry is trying to hunt down the cheese he bought. Amelia pretends she knows nothing about it, but tells Delilah and LisaR that she ate it. In LisaR’s interview, she says Amelia has issues with food. We flash back to Amelia talking about anorexia. LisaR says it’s two steps forward, and one back. It’s not easy, and they do it one day at a time. She wants to fix it, and make it go away. You don’t want to see your child in pain. She asks Amelia to have a little something, and Amelia says she’s even allergic to corn. LisaR wonders if Amelia is going to have this forever. Amelia insists she’s not hungry. LisaR says she loves Harry, but the veggie burger tastes like rubber.

Harry says maybe Amelia doesn’t want to eat, but he’s having dessert. Amelia gives him the finger behind his back. In LisaR’s interview, she says maybe they did something; she doesn’t know, but it’s hard to watch Amelia be in pain. Amelia asks if it makes Harry angry that she’s not eating his food. If so, they have to work through it. She says the energy is effed up, and asks why he’s so passive aggressive. LisaR says he fathered these children. He says he doesn’t think he’s responsible for their behavior, and thinks she’s responsible. Me too, and it’s no surprise he’s never around.

The women get together for a lunch. Kyle shows them photos from the party. LisaR says it took a long time to get out of Erika Jayne. In Kyle’s interview, she says things were rough between Kim and LisaR before the party. She thinks LisaR was using Erika’s persona to speak rudely to her sister. She doesn’t want to say anything right now, but thinks it’s complete bullsh*t. Dorit talks about the photo shoot, and says she’s doing the Kitson window. She’s super excited. She says she spoke to PK, who’s in London, and he told her to go on the trip. LisaR says Harry told her to go. I’ll bet he did.

Erika arrives last, and asks, what’s happening? Kyle says she closed her store, and felt so bad, she started bawling. She opened seven years ago. In her interview, she says seeing her name on a corner she drove by her entire life felt exciting. We flash back to the opening. She says the rent in Beverly Hills is through the roof. Because of that, combined with more people shopping online, it didn’t make sense to stay open. LisaR says, it’s sad, and agrees about the rent. In her interview, LisaR says when she had a store, she and Harry were relying on it as income, so they were in a more precarious position. Luckily, Kyle is in a position where Mauricio is doing well, and she’ll be fine.

Kyle shows them the chateau website on her phone. Erika says she’s been to Provence, but nothing like this. In her interview, LisaR says she likes a hotel with her own room, where she can escape if she needs to, but she’s open to it. She likes the word chateau. In Erika’s interview, she says, the house is beautiful, and it’s the French countryside; no need for glam.

LisaR asks if Camille is coming. Kyle says she left a message. Dorit asks LisaR what Camille said, but LisaR says it’s not her place. She says she can tell Camille that she thinks she should talk to Dorit. Kyle thinks LisaR should just let them know. I think this should be an all or nothing situation. LisaR should have either kept her damn mouth shut about it, or told Dorit everything. To me, it’s nasty to tell someone that a friend is talking about them, but not what was said. It’s not fair to just leave them hanging and imagining what it must be. In LisaR’s interview, she says that if she hadn’t been mad at Camille, she wouldn’t have said anything. That’s nasty to. Point proved. We flash back to LisaR telling Dorit that Camille was talking about her. She says she doesn’t want to hurt Dorit’s feelings. Kyle says if Camille is pretending to be nice, yet saying nasty things behind Dorit’s back, LisaR has to tell her. Dorit thinks it’s scary that Camille is acting nice, but might have residual feelings from their past altercation. Teddi says wait until LVP hears what Camille said about her teeth. We flash back to Camille saying LVP needs dental work. Teddi says it didn’t please her to hear Camille say that, even though she and LVP are not on the best terms. Kyle says you wonder what the person is saying about you.

Camille talks to a friend whose name I don’t catch, but we’ve seen before. Camille thought the wedding was perfect, and couldn’t be more thrilled. In her interview, she says it’s a great feeling, having a life partner. She missed the love and family part of being married. The friend says Teddi was odd at the airport, and in Camille’s interview, she explains that when they were leaving, her daughter said hi to Teddi, who snubbed her. Mason felt bad, and that’s when her mommy claws come out. She tells the friend that she doesn’t like how Teddi is acting toward her. She’s gotten too big for her britches. She’s been taking jabs at Camille, wanting her to pick a side with the LVP thing. She’s been around LVP and Kyle a long time, and sees LVP’s point of view, but feels for Kyle. She knows the dynamic, and LVP has been there for both her and Kyle. Camille wants to bring it up, but doesn’t think Teddi can take criticism. Yet she’s an accountability coach. Go figure.

Denise asks Kyle if Camille is invited, and Kyle says, of course. In her interview, Kyle says she and Camille aren’t on the best terms, but to not invite her is making a statement.

Denise goes to a restaurant. We already know she’s meeting Brandi (bleh), although they try to surprise us. Brandi arrives, and says dumbass stuff. In her interview, Denise says a mutual friend introduced her and Brandi. They went to dinner, and hit it off. She thinks Brandi is crazy fun, and likes her. Brandi says they have a lot in common. In Brandi’s interview – where she looks like a horror show – she says she and Denise have been through the wringer together with public divorces. What you see is what you get. Period. No bullsh*t. Denise is just like her. Maybe in that way, but no. Denise is actually a kind person. Brandi is not. I’m sure some past thing is why she lashes out, but she refuses to recognize that, so pfft! Brandi says she saw Denise’s Instagram pictures wits Patrick, and asks how her husband is handling it. Denise says, he’s so supportive and fine with it. Brandi says, it’s fine until it’s not. Denise says, if it was her, she wouldn’t like it. We flash back to a reunion where Brandi talked about slitting Eddie’s tires. Brandi tells Denise about some dude named Casamigos, who says she hit him in the face. She might have slapped a pretty, older English woman in the face once, but not slapping dudes in face. Classless as ever; another thing Denise is not. Brandi says wasn’t even there. Denise tells Brandi about some story the women think LVP planted with Radar Online. She says she doesn’t know LVP well enough to know if she leaked it. Brandi says, of course she leaked it. In Brandi’s interview, she says she and LVP were best friends for five years. We flash back to that time. Giggy! Brandi tells Denise, whatever LVP wants out there, gets out there. We flash back to Brandi telling Kyle about LVP wanting her to bring the tabloids with her on vacation. She says if you cross LVP in any way, which she did – Denise asks if she crossed LVP or disagreed with her. Brandi says, a bit of both – you get punished. Denise wonders why do that to a friend who’s never done anything wrong. She thinks Brandi should come to Provence. Brandi orders two glasses of wine in one. She tells the waiter, if he brings two separate glasses, she’ll kill him. In her interview, Denise says Brandi can drink her under the table. Denise doesn’t do shots. She sips that sh*t. Me too. I’d make a much better friend for Denise. Public divorce aside.

Brandi (who is friends with Kim now?) tells Denise that Kim called her a bitch. We flash back to Denise telling Kim that LisaR is really a nice person. I’m beginning to think Denise needs help picking friends. Denise tells Brandi that she was just reassuring Kim that LisaR didn’t man anything by it. It was bad timing, and LisaR shouldn’t have said it, but they all make mistakes. She thinks LisaR and Kim should move on. It’s an effing bunny. Again, I’m no fan of Kim’s, but LisaR is the one who brought it up, and used the c-word in reference to Kim. Why isn’t Denise calling her out on it?

Denise meets Aaron at Compass, where he’s unpacking fitness equipment. He says they just got the power on. In her interview, Denise says it’s been crazy busy. She’s traveling a lot, but they try to make sure not too much time goes by before they see each other again. Denise says she got the pictures of Sami’s messy room and the bathroom. Aaron says she uses every towel. Denise feels terrible, leaving him while the fitness center is being put together. Leaving stresses her out, but she gives Aaron credit. As a new husband, he’s being supportive. He says when he approaches Sami in a cool and calm way, she says stop yelling at her. Denise says his voice carries, and a thirteen-year-old perceives it as yelling. In Denise’s interview, she says, Charlie is the easier going parent, while Aaron has strict boundaries, but they make the girls feel safe and secure. She tells him that she owes him a beach party in Vegas.

Walking down a commercial street, Kyle tells Erika it’s depressing to close the store. They go to the building where the store was, and it says for lease. Kyle realizes she didn’t take the chandeliers, and has to get them. She says she did find a space she likes, but she’s never done anything from the ground up. She needs help. She tells Erika that she has a lot to think about. In Kyle’s interview, she says it’s a challenging time for her. As they pass Villa Blanca, she thinks of fun times with LVP. We flash back to some of those. Kyle doesn’t focus on what happened recently. It makes her sad to think that chapter of her life is closed. She and Erika go shopping, and look for scarves. Erika says, what’s more French than a scarf and beret? All they’re missing is a baguette and some cheese.

Camille calls Kyle, and says she went over her schedule, and talked to her family. She can go. She’s excited to be included. Kyle and Erika pay for whatever they just bought, and it’s 800 bucks for the tiniest bag of stuff ever.

Everyone gets packing. Again from closets as big as a small country. Kyle considers taking a machete.

Breaking news. There are three separate wildfires in California. Malibu is evacuated. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are on their way to the airport. Camille calls, saying it’s stressful. She lives in a canyon, and can see flames in the next canyon over. She has to leave her house now. In Camille’s interview, she says they got stuck in traffic, and could see the flames and smoke moving faster than the cars. She was terrified. Kyle tells her to make sure she’s safe, and keep them posted. In Teddi’s interview, she says, it’s heartbreaking. They’d planned on talking with Camille, but tragedy has a way of putting things in perspective. Oh nice. Once again they want to pick an inappropriate venue to air their grievances. It’s doubly nice that the person who they have a grievance with, would have no means of escape. LisaR calls Denise, who finally has cell service. Denise says she’s never seen anything like it. It’s effing insane. LisaR tells her to keep in touch. They’re not on the plane until 3:30. Denise says she thinks her house might be burning.

Next time, the trip to Provence; LisaR says it’s like Downton Abbey, but in France; Dorit says it makes you feel like you’re in Europe; Camille’s house burns down; Teddi and LisaR clash.

🏇 If She’s Out, So Am I…

Even worse, it looks like Brandi is inching her way in. Sorry, Denise, but I can’t.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046855/is-lisa-vanderpump-really-leaving-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

💍 A Taste of the New 90…

I’m already loving this show. As usual, there are a couple of decent people, but they’re mostly horrible.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046518/90-day-fiance-the-other-way-premieres-with-shocking-secrets-catfishing-and-big-investments

🏰 I Wanna Go Too…

Must be nice. I could make a joke here about it being Provence, not Nice, but I’ll let it go.