What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Stella tells Curtis, no more secrets, when Marshall walks in. She says, Marshall Ashford. What are you doing here? and he says, Hello, Stella. Good to see her again after all these years.
Austin comes out of the hospital elevator and sees Britt. He says, just the person he was looking for, and she says, lucky her. Does he remember when he said things could only get better? He says, did something prove him wrong? He’s sorry. Let him make it up to her; he has news on her brother. She asks if it’s his obituary, and Austin says, close. He’s in the ER, and he’s more dead than alive. Austin leaves Britt to ponder this.
Maxie asks Finn, arsenic or strychnine? She hopes whoever poisoned Peter took that into consideration. He says, it’s possible it wasn’t intentional. Inmates get botulism from homemade prison alcohol. She says, in solitary? and he says, just speculating. She asks if he speculated the best case scenario, like, what are the top three deadly toxins in a prison? Which one could be killing Peter August right now? He says, if Peter were poisoned intentionally, getting it to him in solitary would take real effort. Who would go to that kind of trouble? She says, who wouldn’t?
Elizabeth peeks out from the ER, and goes to Peter’s bedside. She looks at the scalpel in her hand, and flashes back to Peter saying he’s being persecuted the same way Franco was, and Finn stopping her from attacking him. She remembers finding Peter at the bottom of the stairs when Finn thought he’d killed him, and saying, Peter doesn’t get to take another life; they won’t let him.
Carly comes home, and tells Sonny, she has so much work at the MetroCourt, she can’t believe she let him convince her to blow it off. He says, they need to take a break. Sasha and Michael are going through hell, Michael’s making a statement at Brad’s parole hearing, and everybody’s climbing the walls because Peter August is back. She says, here’s hoping he dies quickly. Although it seems to be taking forever. Sonny asks if they can just focus on the fact that he’s home with his family, and celebrate, and she asks what he means. He brings her into the living room, where everything is decorated, and says, Christmas.
Sasha tells Brando, if she has to stare at these walls much longer, she’s going to scream. Does he think that’s how their little boy feels in the NICU? Does Liam feel trapped in that incubator? He says, no. Liam feels safe, and cared for, and loved. She asks if he thinks Liam can feel that, how much they love him, and he says, of course (🍷) he can. She says, some people go through their whole lives and never have that. Every challenge they have to face, if their son can feel that they love him, isn’t that enough?
Willow asks if Michael feels nervous about the hearing, when Brad is brought in. Michael says he’s never felt more sure about anything in his life.
Brando says, he and Sasha love their son so much, if he’s aware of nothing else, he’ll at least know that. She says, even if his life isn’t perfect, even if it’s hard, he will at least know love. She knows it’s not going to be easy, and at times it will feel impossible, but with Brando as Liam’s dad, they’ll get through it. She’s not giving up. He says, they’ll do whatever it takes to give their boy a fighting chance.
Elizabeth looks at the scalpel, and moves closer to Peter. Finn comes in, and says her name, startling her.
Britt asks Austin, what happened? Did someone attack Peter in prison? He says he’s not clear on the details. Should he not have told her? She says, is he kidding? it’s the best news she’s heard all day. She had to tell terrible news to anxious parents, and she has a very dear friend who has his parole hearing today, and she can’t be there to support him. And she was just recently told, she was a bad influence. He says he’s sure her friend knows she’d be there if she could. As for her being a bad influence…
Celina comes into the hearing, and goes over to Michael. He says it’s a pleasure to see her again, and introduces Willow as Wiley’s mother. Celina says, it’s an honor, and Willow says, for her as well. Celina says she wants Michael to know that she in no way condones what her nephew did. She also wants to assure him, should fortune fall in Brad’s favor, she will be responsible for him. He will never again disturb Michael’s family. Michael says he appreciates it, but after the board hears his statement, there’s no chance in hell her nephew sees the light of day. I guess Michael thinks he’s in Cool Hand Luke.
Sonny tells Carly that Pilar is bringing the kids down from the nursery, and she asks how he managed this right under her nose. He laughs, and says, it’s a gift; does she like it? She says she loves it; it’s beautiful. Has he checked the calendar? They never decorate this early. He says he missed Christmas with his family last year, and wants to make up for lost time. Family is everything. It’s all that matters.
Curtis leads Stella to a seat, and asks if she’s all right. She says she is, but it’s a shock. It really is him. Marshall says he didn’t mean to startle her, and Curtis says, it comes with showing up in places he’s been asked not to. Marshall says he came there to see Curtis. How would he know Stella would be there? Curtis says, that’s beside the point. His presence is unsettling and unwelcome. His auntie is recovering from a stroke. Marshall says, what? He’s sorry to hear that. How’s her recovery coming? Curtis says he’s sure a lot better before she saw him. She thought he was dead, so seeing him alive after all this time, they’re lucky she didn’t have a relapse. She says, actually, that’s not exactly true.
Sonny tells Donna and Avery, look at all those presents, waiting to be opened on Christmas morning. Avery asks if he’s going to be there Christmas morning, and he says, there’s nowhere he’d rather be. Carly says, and he’s going to be there Christmas Eve to help set out the treats for Santa. He says, then he’s going to read them The Night Before Christmas and tuck them in. Last year, he wasn’t able to be there, but it wasn’t his choice. Avery asks, whose choice was it? and he says, it’s so amazing that he’s able to be with his little girls today. He’s going to make up for lost time and never let them down again. Can he get a hug? The girls hug him.
Michael thanks the parole board for being able to address them today. Three years ago, he laid to rest a child he thought was his newborn son, Jonah. His family mourned with him as they buried his baby boy, and grieved for the life he’d never have. Later, they discovered he was actually alive; now being called Wiley and being raised by Mr. Cooper. It was only when Mr. Cooper was forced to tell the truth, that he intentionally misled Michael, his family, and even Brad’s then husband, Lucas Jones. Worse yet, the day he got his son back was the day Willow Tate realized hers was gone forever.
Brando asks if they’re ready, and Sasha asks if they’re ever. Since the day they met, they’ve always been scrambling. Now with Liam coming earlier than expected, here they are scrambling again. Not on the menu, was it? They don’t prepare you. He asks if she’s up for this, and she says, they’re done scrambling. They need to be ready. She wants to start planning to give Liam his best life. How about him? How does he feel? He says, like it’s time to get some answers.
Austin says, he hasn’t been at GH a long time, but he’s been watching Britt, and sees how she is with her patients and her staff. She has a better bedside manner than she thinks, and she’s always fair with the staff. She was more than fair with him when his career was on the line, and he holds Maxie in high regard, and Maxie holds Britt in high regard. She respects Britt and comes to her for advice; she listens to Britt. He doesn’t know who this individual is who says Britt’s a bad influence, but maybe they just don’t know her. At all. Britt pauses a moment, then says, sorry. He says, why? and she says, the reasons she’s terrible usually don’t sound nice. He says he doesn’t think she’s terrible, and she says it’s her job to bolster the staff, not the other way around. He says he won’t tell if she won’t. Brando interrupts, asking if Britt has a minute to talk, and Austin says he’ll leave her to do what she does really well. She says, if Brando and Sasha are ready, she’ll tell them everything they need to know.
Curtis asks, what isn’t true? and Stella says she’s certainly surprised that Marshall… Marshall says, Curtis is right. This was no way for Stella to find out he was still alive. (I’m guessing she knew he was alive by the way she’s looking at him.) If he’d respected Curtis’s wishes, he wouldn’t have disturbed her health. She says she’s fine. She just needs a moment to process his return… and some water. Curtis goes to get her water, and she says, it really is Marshall. He says, here they are. Look at her, like not a day has passed. She asks how he’s here, now, and Curtis says he asked the same question. Marshall wasn’t very forthcoming, so maybe she’ll have better luck getting to the truth.
Finn says Elizabeth doesn’t need that. He reaches for the scalpel, and says, it’s okay. He’s going to take that from her right now. She says he doesn’t understand, but he says he does; he knows. He takes it. Austen comes in, and Finn hustles Elizabeth out. He tells her that he understands she’ll regret it.
Stella says she’s sure Marshall will share his truth when he’s ready, and Curtis asks if he’s really hearing her say that, because she never had such a liberal view of truth telling when she raised them. If his memory serves him correctly, her stand on honesty was pretty cut and dried. She says, lessons are made simple for children; everyone here is grown. Marshall says he knows he can’t take credit for the man Curtis is today, but he can thank Curtis’s aunt for her part in it. In his absence, she made sacrifices. She took responsibility for his family, and he owes her. She says, they all did their best at the time, and Curtis asks how she can say that. They don’t know what this man did after he abandoned his family. Stella says, Curtis… and Curtis says he’s sorry. Out of respect for her, he allowed Marshall to say his piece, but he’s saying nothing. So, sir, please leave; this time for good.
Austin comes out of the ER, and Maxie asks, what’s the latest? He says, nice to see her too, and she says, is Peter going to die? Austin says, Maxie… and she says, please. Just tell her Peter is going to die.
Michael tells the board that Willow chose Brad and Lucas as her son’s adoptive parents. Unfortunately, the baby succumbed to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome within hours after being brought home. Then Brad conspired with Michael’s son’s biological mother, the late Nelle Benson, to switch the babies. She convinced Michael that his son had died, while giving his son to Brad to raise. Complicated, yes, but the consequences are still felt to this day. Should they grant Brad parole, a man who has shown a staggering lack of character and judgement, they’d be opening a wound that has just begun to heal. He and Willow implore them on behalf of their sons – the one who is gone, and the one they’re raising together – to protect this community and deny Brad Cooper parole. He thanks them, and a board member says, before they question Brad, would he like to make a statement? Brad thanks them, and says, first, he wants to apologize again to Michael and Willow. He says again because he’s done so before, but he knows no amount of contrition will ever be enough. Today, he’s asking for a chance to try and redeem himself. They have statements from several CO’s and the warden that he’s been a model prisoner. They also have a letter of support from his dear friend Dr. Britt Westbourne. One line from Dr. Westbourne’s letter has stayed with him. Despite his mistake, Brad Cooper is infinitely more capable of virtue than vice. Brad says he’s more than his mistakes. Please grant him parole, and he promises to live a life of virtue.
Carly looks at a keychain that says Caroline on it. Sonny clears his throat, and she looks up. He says, the girls are decorating cookies with Graciela and Pilar; they’re going to be bouncing off the walls. She says, that’s okay. The sugar crash will make them sleep like babies. Look at him. He’s been sampling the icing himself. She wipes his mouth, and he says he sees she found the ornaments. He was thinking of inviting a bunch of people over to trim the tree, and she says she’d love that. He says they can get a head start with the girls. She says, yeah, and he asks, what’s wrong? She says, last year, they trimmed the tree without him; it wasn’t right. He says he knows his coming home hasn’t been seamless, and she says, but it’s a dream come true. He asks if she can promise him something, and she says, anything. He says he wants her to know it’s all right to share her feelings about Jason.
In Finn’s office, Elizabeth says she can’t believe what she almost did, and he says, that look on her face. He recognized it. When Peter dangled the antidote that would save Chase in his face, and then threw it off the roof, it was that same look of rage that made him want to push Peter down the stairs. She says, if he hadn’t stopped her… and he says he wanted to spare her the regret he had, thinking he’d almost killed someone. She says, spare her? Peter murdered her husband. He’s the reason Jason is dead, and the reason her boys are in a constant state of grief. If he hadn’t spared her, she could have given her sons some semblance of justice. But no, Peter is still alive because she couldn’t rid the world of the monster Finn tried to kill.
Austin says, Maxie knows he can’t discuss Peter’s medical condition with her, and she says, please. She has the right to know if this nightmare she’s living is going to end. He says, all right. Here’s what he can say. Wow. That guy behind the curtain is in really bad shape. She says, and? and he says, and whoever did this to Peter, it was intentional, not an accident. Someone wanted him dead. That doesn’t surprise her?
Carly tells Sonny, Jason gave her the keychain years ago, when she showed up on his doorstep pregnant with Michael. She told him Carly Roberts was really Caroline Benson, Bobbie’s long lost daughter. They spent that Christmas together, and every year she puts it on the tree, and remembers. Sonny puts the keychain on the tree, and she puts her arms around him from behind. She says she he knows things have been hard for him, with how complicated things had gotten with Jason. As much as she misses Jason, there is only one man in her life, and it’s him. She kisses him, and says, they’re going to get through this, as long as they keep being open with each other.
A board member tells Brad that the panel will deliberate, and inform him of their decision at the earliest opportunity. He thanks Michael for his statement, and says, this hearing is adjourned. Michael looks at Celina.
Curtis tells Marshall that he won’t say it again. Get out of his club and stay out of his life. Marshall nods, and tells Stella to take care of herself. He starts to leave, but Stella says, stop. She knows Curtis’s father’s reappearance in his life has thrown him, but Curtis says, Marshall hasn’t been his father for a very long time. Stella says, he’s always been Curtis’s father. Whether he’s been around or not, or whether Curtis likes it or not, Marshall Ashford is the only father Curtis has. And by some miracle, he’s standing here, whole and well. Curtis asks what she’s suggesting; that they pick up where they left off? He’s a little too old for toy lawnmowers. She tells him that she’s not saying that at all, but what has it cost Marshall to show up here? At least hear him out. Curtis tells her that Marshall has nothing to say. He’s a ghost with no public record, who makes sketchy references to a possible danger. Marshall says, just hear him. As much as it killed him to go, every minute he remained in their lives, he put Curtis and Tommy at risk. If he’d stayed, what kind of father would it have made him?
Britt says she’s happy to answer as many questions as Brando and Sasha can think of, but she needs to provide a more thorough explanation of their son’s prognosis. Liam’s brain is severely impaired. Sasha says, they know that, and Brando says, it’s already been explained to them, but Britt says she needs to clarify what that means. Liam will never breathe on his own. He will never open his eyes, never recognize their voices or have any awareness of his surroundings. Life for Liam will entail permanent ventilation, a feeding tube, and around the clock care. Sasha says, they know it’s a lot. If it’s too much for them to care for him at home, they’ll bring him here. Britt says, General Hospital’s not set up to care for what their son needs, and Brando says, then where? Britt says, they’d have to transfer Liam to a long-term care facility, and Sasha says, away from his parents? No. He needs love. There must be a way for Liam to come home. Britt says, she’s sorry to be so blunt, but Liam’s quality of life… Sasha says, he won’t have any quality of life without them. If Britt refuses to help them, they’ll find someone who will.
Curtis says, so it wasn’t safe for Marshall to come back when Tommy died, and it wasn’t safe when his mom died. In all those years, it wasn’t safe when Aunt Stella took on his responsibility, but now it’s safe for him to waltz back in here, and they’re required to do what? Be his captive audience? Stella says Curtis has every right to answers, and someday his father provide them, but can Curtis consider for a moment that Marshall was trying to protect him? Curtis says, from what? and Marshall says, a complex situation that would had repercussions on the entire family, and still could. Curtis says, what situation and what repercussions? Tell him; he can take it. Marshall says, just know he didn’t leave because he wanted to; he left because he had to. Curtis says, this is bull, but Marshall says, it’s all he has to offer Curtis, at least for now. Curtis says, it’s not enough, and Marshall says, it’s enough for TJ. Curtis says he thought he told Marshall to stay away from TJ, and Marshall says, he came here to reconnect with his family. Blood or no blood, TJ is his family. If TJ, Tommy’s son, wants to have a relationship with him, it’s his call. If Curtis wants to have one, Curtis can find him at the Harbor View Inn. He leaves, and Stella says she’s so sorry. Curtis asks what she has to apologize for.
Sonny opens the door to Michael, Willow, and Wiley, and asks how the parole hearing went. Willow says, Michael was very eloquent, and Sonny says he doesn’t doubt that. Michael says he didn’t expect to give his impact statement in front of Celina, and Sonny says, she is Brad’s aunt. Willow asks if Wiley would like to say hello to Grandma Carly, and they leave. Michael says he hopes he didn’t make it awkward for Sonny’s business relationship, and Sonny says he told Celina that Michael had every right to oppose Brad’s release, and she understands. Michael says he’s glad the hearing is over. He just wants to put all this business with Brad behind them.
Carly asks if Wiley wants to go to the kitchen, and have cookies with Donna and Avery, and he says he does. She tells him, go, and he leaves. Willow says, it’s like a wonderland in here; Carly really went all out. Carly says she can’t any credit; Sonny did it all. Willow says, good for him, getting back in the swing of things, and Carly says, he missed last year, and thought the family needed a big dose of Christmas. Any word about Brad? Willow says, not yet, but Michael spoke so passionately, she’s sure he got through to the parole board. Carly says, whatever happens, Wiley has the full protection of the family. Willow says she knows, and she appreciates that, and Carly says, but? Willow says, no buts. She knows Carly always has Wiley’s best interest at heart, even when they don’t see eye to eye. Carly says she may tend to chime in when it comes to her grandson, and appreciates Willow’s grace, and Willow says, Carly’s instincts tend to be spot on.
Elizabeth tells Finn, her boys loved Franco. Not because she loved him, but because he earned it. He reached Jake through art, and helped Aiden be comfortable with who he is. Cameron was a battle and a half, but Franco was willing to give his life for that boy, and Peter ripped Franco away from all of them. She wanted to hurt him like he hurt her. Finn says she knows that’s not how it would have gone. If she’d succeeded, she’d go to prison, and allow Peter to take from Cameron, Jake, and Aiden, allow him to take their mother on top of everything he’s already taken. He doesn’t think Franco or Jason would want that. When he thought he’d killed Peter, he wanted to go to the police and confess, remember that? She stopped him from making a choice that would have taken his daughter from him. He’s returning the favor, like it or not. She can be as angry as she wants, but it’s not going to drive him away from her.
Brando says he and Sasha are frustrated with the situation, not Britt. They appreciate her time. Sasha says she’s so sorry, but Britt tells her, don’t apologize. She can’t possibly imagine what they’re going through. She would help them look into everything they need for home care, if it were feasible. If they want a second opinion, or third, or fourth, or if they want to talk to every specialist on the planet, she’ll reach out for them and make it happen, but they should consider Liam’s likely lifespan and quality of life. Brando says, a lifespan of how long? and Britt says, he could live for years. Sasha says, years, with hope in her eyes, but Britt says, in a permanent vegetative state. Brando says, as to quality of life? and Britt says, he would have none. Liam is being kept alive by machines, and his little body is vulnerable to seizures, pneumonia, sepsis, sepsis shock, fractures, and the high likelihood of bed sores. She’s so sorry to be so direct, but she can’t leave them make this decision without seeing the full picture. Sasha asks how they can make a decision when they don’t know all the options, and Brando says, it sounds like Dr. Westbourne is saying there’s only one option. Sasha says, what’s that? and Britt says, to take their son off life support. Brando says, they let Liam go, and Sasha says, no, and cries in his arms.
Brando asks what Sasha is thinking, and she says, she’s thinking, even though he’s only been here such a short time, she can’t imagine a world without Liam in it. Brando says, him neither, and she says, then they don’t have to, right? There must be something they can still do. This can’t be the end of the road.
Finn tells Elizabeth, next time she needs to unload, unload on him. If she wants to punch it out, his shoulder’s all hers. Anything she needs to move forward, he’s right here. She kisses him, and jets.
Curtis says he hopes it didn’t rattle Stella, seeing Marshall after thinking he’s long dead. He promises not to allow that man to haunt or guilt her, or TJ. She says, Curtis Ashford gonna do what he’s gonna do, and TJ’s got a good head on his shoulders. And it’s not like Marshall can surprise her again. Curtis says, well, he’s gone, and she says, what he needs to do is give her a tour of his beautiful club. Live his life, and free himself from all the burdens of the past. It’s what his mom would want. Curtis agrees, and Stella says, how about if she makes him a promise? As long as there’s a breath left in her body, she’s not going to allow anything or anyone to upend this family. They hug.
Michael picks up Wiley, who puts an ornament on the tree, and everyone is all, yay! Carly says they have to pick out the next ornament, and goes over to Sonny by the tree. She asks, what’s this? indicating a gift, and he says she’s got to wait until Christmas. His phone rings, and it’s Celina. She said, the parole board has made its decision. Her nephew is being released in a few days. He has her gratitude. He says, a deal’s a deal, and Carly asks if everything is okay. Sonny says, everything is good, and Carly goes back to the kids, saying, they have to put more ornaments on; start looking. Sonny looks grim.
Tomorrow, Kristina says, it’s a disaster waiting to happen; Chase tells Finn, stop looking if something’s not there; Michael says Brad gets no second chances with his family; and Britt tells Celina, she has no idea who she’s messing with.
Vanderpump Rules
In James’s interview, he said he’d been going less to social events, and we flashed back to him drinking through the week. He told Raquel it wasn’t about him questioning his sobriety; he was done with it. He’d been to three events that week, and was tired. Raquel suggested they get together with friends and family, and celebrate their engagement. She thought it would be fun to go somewhere outside L.A. Everyone else was hanging out at TomTom. Sandoval told Lala that Ariana thought he was taking her to a late birthday lunch, but they were really going to Madcap Motel (see below). He took Katie aside, and they sat in a booth. Katie said the situation at her house got out of hand, but he said his goal was to create situations where they were not only hanging out having and having fun, but making money. They were getting to the next level, and he’d worked his ass off to turn his and Schwartz’s friendship into a brand, and bring money into her household. He also had to deal with Schwartz’s insecurities, so he seemed like he was extra and pushing it. Katie said she had a different perspective. She saw it as Sandoval thinking his ideas were better. He said he was protecting Schwartz’s interest, and had his back. She told him that all she was saying was to listen to her husband’s ideas. He took credit for what Schwartz had done, and wanted to dress him up like a Barbie, and put him in a sidecar. We flashed back to Sandoval doing just that, and he told Katie that he built people up and praised them; she just wasn’t there to see it. She told that she wasn’t saying he didn’t support Schwartz, but he had an effing ego problem. He said, so did she, having been reduced to elementary school responses. Katie told Schwartz that Sandoval was an effing a-hole, and in his interview, Schwartz said the mediating was killing him inside. He wanted to throw his hands up and walk away. Go to Florida and open a tiki bar. In Lala’s interview, she said Sandoval was like the other woman in Schwartz’s life; he was like Schwartz’s mistress. They had cocktails and manifested sh*t. In Schwartz’s interview, he said he couldn’t have days where everything was falling apart because Katie and Sandoval were butting heads. He knew he had an issue with riding the fence, but they both had valid points. They needed three-way couples therapy.
Brock and Scheana talked about the photo shoot for Brock’s company, HomeBody. In Brock’s interview, he said he didn’t think he’d been asking for too much. He wasn’t asking for a kidney. Scheana whined about Charli saying she hadn’t been a good friend lately. Sorry; she just had a baby. Brock asked why she was always apologizing, and she said if Charli felt hurt, her feelings were valid. He said, what about Scheana’s effing feelings? Scheana said she felt she’d been rightfully selfish. It had been a year since her miscarriage. When she was pregnant with Summer, she’d been afraid of getting sick, or being around anyone. All she cared about was the baby.
Katie paid a visit to Villa Rosa – Puffy! – and in her interview, she said she didn’t like asking for Lisa’s time, but she understood the restaurant business, and had officiated at their wedding. Who else would she ask when the business put a strain on her marriage? Katie told Lisa about her conversation with Tom, and how it went bad. He’d taken credit for the TomTom brand. In Lisa’s interview, she said it had been her idea, and she’d surprised them at Schwartz’s wedding. We flashed back to that, and Lisa said Katie had put having a baby on hold, and in one way, this had been her baby. Katie said, now it was just Schwartz and Sandoval’s, and asked if Lisa thought they were ready to open their own place. Lisa said, no, but they were working with someone who had experience. She did think Greg might get frustrated with the Toms chasing their own tails. Katie said Schwartz’s defense of Tom made her upset, and Lisa said she would not let her husband have more loyalty to another man than her.
As Sandoval and Ariana got ready for the fake dinner, Sandoval said he thought Katie was being unfair. Ariana said Lala thought there was more going on between Schwartz and Katie, and they should take a break. Sandoval thought that was terrible advice, and Ariana thought it was extreme, but in her interview, she said there must be something Lala knew that she didn’t. In Sandoval’s interview, he sai,d the Madcap Motel was an awesome art installation with different rooms and actors. He was stoked. He and Ariana went into a pseudo laboratory, then walked through a decontamination chamber, to find all their friends waiting. Sandoval said they were to enter at their own enjoyment, and thanked everyone for coming. He told them to have drinks and explore. They went to the rave room, which Scheana said was a combination of Stranger Things and the Twilight Zone. It would be a fun place to take mushrooms. The Toms went to standard motel room that was slanted, and sat on the bed. Schwartz said he didn’t want to kill the vibe, but Katie told him some crazy sh*t. She’d told him that Sandoval said he was the one making the money, and made it sound like Schwartz was a charity case. Sandoval acted like he never heard of such things, when everything Katie told Schwartz was what he’d said. Sandoval said their friendship was a brand now, but Schwartz said they weren’t creating a brand, just awesome sh*t. Sandoval was like, no, it’s a brand, and Schwartz said he knew Sandoval spearheaded things, and embraced it. But Katie thought Sandoval was taking him away from his wife, and she was going to unravel. Sandoval got all animated, and Schwartz told him, easy. Katie and Lala’s conversation on the subject was much more concise. Katie told Lala what Sandoval had said, and Lala called him a little punk ass bitch.
After Madcap Motel, the group went to a bar called Tramp Stamp Granny’s. Sandoval toasted to Ariana, the love of his life, and said they were all lucky to know her. In Katie’s interview, she said Tramp Stamp Granny’s was a great name for a bar. In James’s interview, he said he didn’t know anything about Brock’s HomeBody app, and told Lala that he wasn’t doing it for free. His Instagram was a whole other thing, and he didn’t want to advertise for Brock. Lala said James was the best roller coaster she knew. James talked about staying sober, and Lala said, even though that was the goal, it wasn’t about not drinking. It was about being a better human. In Lala’s interview, she said James had done a lot of self-work. He still had outbursts, but giving up alcohol was a big deal. I agree, especially in the business he’s in. A ton of pizza arrives, and James gets everyone to chant, pizza! Ariana sat with Charli and Raquel, and ate a miniscule amount of toppings off Raquel’s slice. They talked about Scheana, and Raquel said Scheana had asked her to end friendships. Ariana said she and Scheana went through some f***ed up sh*t as friends. When she started dating Sandoval, Scheana thought he was the devil. We flashed back to Scheana discouraging the pairing, and in Ariana’s interview, she said their friendship almost ended, but they were like family now. Ariana went to the bar, announced she hadn’t eaten anything all day, and promptly fell on her ass. In her interview, she said, when Sandoval told her they were going to dinner, she didn’t eat. Things were escalating. She yelled, it’s my effing birthday! and tried to have a conversation with Katie. She suggested she and Sandoval, and Katie and Schwartz all go to the dinner the next night, but Katie said she’d rather do anything else. Ariana offered to lick both their buttholes, and cupcakes with candles in them came out. Perfect timing. I thought she was so drunk, she wasn’t even going to remember this. Ariana smashed a cupcake on Sandoval’s face, then proceeded to lick it off. She told him that she hated chocolate (who hates chocolate?), and yet she was still licking it off his face. She effing loved him.
Lala talked to Randall about getting an assistant, and in her interview, she said she’d started off with a lipstick, and now she was a successful brand. Since becoming a mom, she’d been overwhelmingly busy, and she was planning a Give Them Lala beauty party. Randall had suggested she get an assistant so she’d stop harassing his. Randall told one candidate that the company was all Lala. He’d wanted to be a part of it, but she kicked him to the curb. In Lala’s interview, she said she did it all herself. She didn’t want to be dependent on a man. Candidate Jessica worked for American Idol, and was good with social media. She told Lala that she knew what it was like to be a filter. She was the chosen one, and Randall said Lala did great.
In Schwartz’s interview, he said the whole thing had reached a breaking point. Something had to give, and it wasn’t going to be his wife. He wasn’t choosing Sandoval over Katie, ever. Maybe he and Sandoval needed to sort some things out. Ariana told Sandoval that it mattered to her to have Katie in their lives, and Tom whined that women were entitled to yell, but as a straight man, if he raised his voice, he was wrong. Katie told Schwartz to look Sandoval in the eye and say, you can’t talk to my wife that way. Let him know who’s effing number one. He went to Sandoval and Ariana’s house, and I was impressed with how quickly they got a drink in his hand. I didn’t even see anyone pour it. It was like magic. Poof! A drink.
Ariana made herself scarce, and Schwartz said something had been weighing on him since the blow-up at TomTom. Sandoval agreed it had been dark and depressing, and Schwartz said, the bottom line was, he needed Sandoval to respect Katie. Sandoval said he wanted to keep his distance from Katie. He felt like no matter what he said or did, it got twisted. Schwartz said it was partly his fault, and he took responsibility for that, but Sandoval needed to give Katie a higher level of respect, and she’d extend the same courtesy to him. Sandoval thought it was best they stick to being business partners, and keep non work related socialization to a bare minimum. Bar hopping wouldn’t be happening for a while. Schwartz agreed they should take a break, and in his interview, he said it sucked to keep it strictly business, but thought it’s what had to be done. Schwartz told Sandoval that they could still have some fun; 90% business and 10% pleasure.
Next time, Brock wants to propose to Scheana, James asks Raquel if he’s controlling, and Schwartz becomes self-conscious about the boundaries in his and Sandoval’s friendship.
😵 It’s a Madcap World…
It looks like a really cool place.
🛥 Deck’s Loss…
I’d just watched the first season again not long ago. He seemed like a nice guy, but it sounds like he didn’t exactly live a healthy lifestyle.
🏆 They’re Golden…
Hard to believe it’s almost 2022.
Winners & Nominees
⚽️ Kicking Back…
Tomorrow, the usual soap, and I’ll see what Fancy Pants is up to in the OC. Until then, stay safe, stay not letting the holidays be a big stress ball, and stay being infinitely more capable of virtue than vice.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 