Tag Archives: Bravo

April 14, 2020 – Nelle Threatens Valentin, We Gather Here Today Once Again, Evidence Comes Together & Delayed

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Violet tells Anna that her daddy got a bouncy castle for the party. Anna says it’s a beautiful day for it, and Finn says he also ordered nice weather. Robert comes in, and says, there’s a delivery that needs a signature. Finn asks if it’s a piñata, but Robert says, it’s a pony, and it sneezed on him. Anna says, a pony? and Finn says, for riding.

Maxie closes her laptop, and Peter gives her a cup of coffee. He says he’s heading to Anna’s to help set up for Violet’s birthday party. Maxie says, Finn went all out, and Peter says, it’s the first party Finn has been able to celebrate with his daughter. Plus, her mom won’t be there. Maxie says, a distraction. She’ll meet him there after. He says, after what? and she says, the eruption of Mount Lulu.

Willow reads to a child in the hospital, and he falls asleep. She says he must be tired; they were just getting to the good part. A woman looks through the window, and Willow tells him, sleep well. She comes out, and his mother thanks her for reading to him. It’s always the highlight of his day. Willow says, hers too. They didn’t finish, so she’d be happy to come back tomorrow. His mother says they’re moving him to hospice tomorrow. It’s time. Willow hugs her.

On the phone with Diane, Michael says, next week? What are the chances he gets what he wants?… Is there a way to increase the numbers?… Besides that. He says he’ll think it over. Sasha brings him coffee, and asks if he can fill her in the other side of the conversation. He says the hearing date was moved up to next week, and his chances of full custody are slightly better than 50%. She says, unless he marries Willow, and he says, then it goes up. I have to say it. Wouldn’t the court find it odd and suspicious if he suddenly married someone he doesn’t have that kind of relationship with? I’m not so sure that would go in his favor.

Anna tells Robert, maybe Finn went a little overboard. Violet and Finn come back in, and Violet says the pony’s name is Fletcher. Robert asks if he sneezed on her too. She says, no, and asks if they can keep him. Anna says, can they? and Finn says she’s not helping. She says she’s just getting in the mood with some excitement, and Finn suggests Roxie might get jealous. Violet says, Roxie has to put on her party hat, but Finn isn’t sure if Roxie likes hats. They go upstairs, and Robert asks why Anna asked him there early. She says she thought he’d want extra time with Fletcher. She heard Obrecht was extradited, and she was hoping the whole thing was over now. Let Peter move on in peace.

Maxie tells Peter, she has to tell Lulu that she’s working for Deception, and Valentin is bankrolling it. Peter says, there’s nothing wrong with her working there, and she says they know that, but Lulu, not so much. Valentin is still Charlotte’s father, and Charlotte loves and needs her dad. Lulu is so blinded with rage, she can’t see that. Peter says, it’s crazy. Valentin is more reasonable with gritting his teeth and co-existing. Maxie says, he’d do anything for Charlotte, even play nice, and Peter asks if she’s thought of just saying that to Lulu. She asks if he’s insane.

In the hallway at the MetroCourt, Nelle asks if Valentin’s got a minute. He thinks it’s best they’re not seen together, and she says, the Quartermaines have no idea he’s moving in on their family money. He suggests they keep their voices down, and she says, it’s because of her generosity, and he asks what she wants. She says he’s acting like they’re not in the same position. He’s fighting for his daughter, and she’s fighting for her son.

Chase tells Willow that he saw her outside with the boy’s mother. Is she okay? She says, she’s fine, but Steven is terminal. His mother told her that they’re moving him to hospice. He says, he’s so sorry, and she says, it’s a mom thing. Steven’s mother is wired to comfort and take care of him. All the time she has with her son, every moment is precious. She was wondering what she would do if Wiley’s life was on the line and she didn’t have a say. She doesn’t think she could stand it.

Sasha tells Michael, it seems straightforward to her. He has to marry Willow. He says before they go further with the conversation, she needs to know he loves her, and whatever decision he makes moving forward doesn’t take away from that. It’s a strategy. She says she knows. He loves Wiley, and Willow does too. Sasha couldn’t love him if he was willing to jeopardize Wiley’s life to hang on to her. She couldn’t look at herself in the mirror either. It has nothing to do with how they feel, and everything to do with Wiley. He’s all that matters. He says she has no idea how much that means to him that she understands. She says he’d do anything for Wiley; so would she. And so would Willow. He says, if Chase wasn’t in the picture, he’d promise he and Sasha would be together one day, and ask Willow to marry him, but Chase is in the picture, so it can’t happen. Sasha says, there’s got to be a way.

Willow tells Chase, she’s being ridiculous. Why would she have a say? Michael is Wiley’s dad, and he makes the decisions. He can handle anything, assuming Nelle doesn’t get in the way. Chase says, that’s assuming a lot. Since Willow is there, why not see Wiley? She asks if he doesn’t think she’s obsessive and hovering, but he thinks she’s incredible. He knows Wiley would love to see her; he always does. She says he’s amazing. She loves him so much. He says he loves her too, and she asks if he wants to come. He says he’s got work to do, and to give Wiley a fist bump for him. When she’s gone, Chase gets on the phone.

Michael tells Sasha, Willow’s not available. She’s in love with Chase, and he’s in love with her. They’re amazing, and have been incredibly supportive, but they have a life together. He can’t ask them to put it on hold because of his custody fight. Nelle isn’t going anywhere, and it’s not like they could be married for two months and get a quiet annulment. Sasha says, Nelle would be all over that, and he says, she’d drag him back to court. It wouldn’t have to be forever, but it would be a while. Sasha has been amazing, being down with that. She has no idea how grateful he is, but that’s them, not Willow and Chase. She says she understands, but thinks he has to give Willow the choice. He can’t make the decision for her. Sasha’s phone dings, and she sees a text from chase. I need to see you. The MetroCourt restaurant. Don’t tell Michael. She tells Michael, it’s a minor crisis, but Lucy is freaking out. He tells her, go, and she says she’ll be back as soon as she can.

Valentin tells Nelle, he thinks they’re done, but she says, they’re just getting started. She says, they don’t have to be enemies. She can be a friend; more than that. She could be surprisingly good for him. He says he passes, and she says she may be forced to make trouble for him then.

On the phone with Charlotte, Lulu says she has to meet Maxie before she picks Charlotte up, but watch her phone. She’ll text Charlotte before she leaves. Charlotte has to get dressed for Violet’s party… She’s going. It’s not up for debate… Who’s going to be there? Georgie, Aiden, Avery… Yes, and Avery’s mother. She’d appreciate it if Charlotte would be polite. Enjoy her ride, and watch her phone.

Maxie tells Peter, when Nina and Valentin imploded, she was relieved not to be involved in their family disfunction, gritting her teeth and placating Nina. Lulu was sitting in judgement, but it all went away when Nina kicked Valentin to the curb. Yay. But now she’s working for him. He’s a silent partner, but their paths are bound to cross. She thinks Lulu makes things more difficult than they need be. What’s weird is, no one is more obsessed with their father than Lulu. She hero worships him. When Lulu was a kid, she was willing to travel the world, or jump off a cliff for him, but there were plenty of people who disapproved of him. Peter says, so he’s not that different from Valentin, and she says, you’d think Lulu would realize that Valentin’s daughter feels the same way as Lulu does about her own dad. She thanks him for letting her get it all out. She doesn’t want to vent to Lulu. There will be a huge, pointless fight that’s no good for anyone. She says she’ll see him later, and he tells her, good luck. She says she’s going to need it.

Anna tells Robert, she and Finn almost broke up over his mistrust of Peter. Then hard evidence surfaced that it was Obrecht, and Finn was reassured. He’s happy; let them be happy. He asks if she thinks he wants her unhappy, and she says she thinks he’s like a dog with a bone when it comes to Peter. Let Violet have her birthday, and let Finn be content. Don’t go digging around to fire things up again. It was Obrecht. She believes it, the WSB believes it, and soon, the Hague will believe it. Let the whole thing be over. He says he’s not saying another word. He’ll be the vison of politeness, but mutual co-existence is the best he can manage. Finn asks if he’s interrupting, and Robert says they were just remembering a party where they got Robin a pony, and she loved it. Somehow it got in the house. She says Robert left the door open. He says, it messed on the rug, but Robin loved it. Anna says, like Violet will. Finn asks if the clown arrived, and Robert says, he got there fifteen minutes ago.

Anna answers the door to Peter, and says she’s glad he could make it. He asks if Violet is excited, and she says, that’s an understatement. Violet runs in, and asks them to come outside and watch her ride the pony. Peter too. Robert says he has to double-check the balloons; could Peter help him? Anna asks if they’re sure they can play nice. When the rest go outside, Peter says Robert called him Peter. Is that a sign?

Maxie meets Lulu at the MetroCourt, and Lulu says she’s in a hurry. She has to pick Charlotte up, and get her home and dressed before Violet’s party. Maxie asks if Charlotte is still into riding, and Lulu says she had to put her foot down; Charlotte was spending so much time with Butterscotch. Valentin got the horse for her. Maxie says, funny Lulu should mention Valentin. As it turns out, she’s going to be working with him.

Valentin tells Nelle, he’s been thinking about the documents he forged to help her escape with Michael’s son. She says, her son, and he says, if the results of her machinations come to light, he’ll side with the father who’s trying to protect his son. She suggests he not piss her off, and he tells her not to jeopardize the child, or he’ll be forced to choose sides, and he doesn’t like her much to begin with.

Willow tells Michael, she hit the jackpot. She got to kiss Wiley as he was drifting off to sleep. He asks if Wiley did the cute ear tug thing, and she says, who needs a pacifier when you’ve got cute lobes? Sorry. He says, for what? She says she feels like she snuck in and stole the moment from him. He says he spends tons of time with Wiley; it’s all good. Since she agreed to testify, he thinks he should tell her, the hearing date was moved up to next week. She says, wow. What did Diane say? He says she thinks his chances would be better if he was married to her.

Robert tells Peter, that he would have loved to have found proof that Peter was a murderer and his father’s son, but frankly, it’s not there. He was wrong, and he’s admitting it. Peter appreciates that, and Robert says, everything points to Obrecht. It’s her modus operandi. She held Robert’s daughter captive; she held him captive. It had be her. He wasn’t convinced before because he didn’t want it to be true, but now he knows it is. Obrecht is on her way to the Hague, and he’s on board with that. Peter isn’t sure what to say, and Robert says, they’ll never be best buds, but he feels a mutual co-existence is manageable. Peter says it sounds good to him. Anna comes in, and asks if everything is all right. Robert says, peachy. He’s going out to see Violet in action. He leaves, and Peter says Robert claims to accept he’s innocent. Should he believe him?

Lulu says, sorry; what? and Maxie says she quit her job at Crimson, and landed at Deception with Sasha and Lucy. She’s excited. It’s more money, and even better, she’s on an equal footing with Lucy, and they’ll make executive decisions together. Lulu says, first, congratulations, but what does it have to do with Valentin? Maxie says, he’s a silent partner; it’s an angel investor thing. Lulu says, how? In what universe would Valentin team up with Lucy? Maxie says, this universe. She’s not sure how it went down, but Lucy said without Valentin, Deception would have been a non-starter. Lulu says Maxie can’t get involved with Valentin. He’ll do something terrible; double-cross her or worse. No one is less trustworthy. Where did the money come from? It was probably stolen. Maxie needs to walk away while she still can. Maxie says she’s not asking permission. She’s letting Lulu know, as a courtesy, what’s happening with her.

Valentin wants Nelle to get it straight. He forged the documents because it was beneficial to him to get her ELQ shares. Don’t think it didn’t bother him that Nelle wanted to escape with Michael’s son. She says, her son, and he says he could have given them her location, but it wasn’t necessary. Now he has the shares and the documents. Stay out of his way, and don’t make trouble, or he’ll end her dog and pony show. She says, so he’s going the enemy route, and he says, there’s no other option. She says, there could have been. He’s going to regret it. He tells her, don’t bet on it. Have a nice day.

Chase tells Sasha, so the best chance for Michael to keep Wiley would be to marry Willow, and she says, that’s where they’re at. He asks how she feels about it, and she says, not awesome. She loves Michael. She thinks there’s a chance he could be the one, under other circumstances. But under these circumstances, Michael has a kid with a psycho mother. Chase says, and she wants Michael to get Wiley away from his psycho mother, more than she wants him for herself. She says she does.

Michael hopes he didn’t put Willow on the spot, but she says, no. She asked, and Diane is insanely smart. If she thinks marrying her is the tipping point… He says he’s looking at it like a strategy, which is hard, since they’re human beings with feelings. It’s a little easier for him, since Sasha is on board, and supports whatever he feels is best for Wiley. Willow asks if he thinks marrying her would be best, and he says, Nelle has as much right as he does to Wiley. He can’t walk into court, and just say what a horrible person she is. It would be her legal right to do the same to him. It can’t be about proving how bad Nelle is, but what’s best for Wiley. If they’re talking strategy, and not feelings, she’s what’s best for Wiley.

Anna tells Peter, Robert will always be skeptical; that’s a fact. Peter did nothing wrong, and he’s not going to. That’s also a fact. Peter says, much to Robert’s chagrin, and she says, maybe. For all his faults, Robert is an honorable man. He’d never make anything up. She hopes, maybe in a couple of years, it will get easier. They might even like each other. He tells her, don’t hold her breath, and she says Robert is sucking it up because she asked him to. All the tension was making Finn worry, and contributed to their separation. He asks if she and Finn are good again, and she says, very good. Peter and Robert should be able to have a relationship that has nothing to do with her. They can loathe each other if they want, but they’re family, and that’s not how family acts. At least not this one. Peter says, family… and she says, he’s part of it.

Maxie tells Lulu, business is business. Is she going to Valentin’s for dinner? No. Will they be friends and bond? Lulu says, she certainly hopes not, and Maxie says, no, but Deception needed his involvement. He made Lucy an offer, and  she took the deal, and Maxie can’t argue with that. Lucy did her a huge favor by hiring her. Lulu says she thought Lucy said she wanted Maxie, and Maxie says, she did; then she didn’t. Long story. The point is, she’s there now, and so is Valentin. That’s just the way it is. Lulu says she doesn’t like it, but Maxie says, she’s not asking Lulu to like it, and doesn’t expect her to, but be real. Valentin is smart. Cassadine Industries was run into the ground when he took over. He’s the only reason the company is in the black. Lulu says, yay, and Maxie says, Valentin is a smart businessman. If he does for Deception what he did for his own company, than jackpot. Lulu says, if Maxie is honest, Valentin is the man who made Claudette disappear. Disappear disappear. Maxie says, that’s unconfirmed, and Lulu says Valentin shot her brother. Maxie says, he survived, and Lulu says, Valentin kidnapped Charlotte. Maxie says, it’s not kidnapping when you have custody, and Lulu says, he threw Ava off of a balcony. Maxie says, no one saw it, and Ava was drunk as a skunk. They can fight about it, but Lulu needs to ask herself, is it worth it to her? Because it’s definitely not worth it to Maxie. Valentin sees Lulu and Maxie talking.

Sasha tells Chase, she moved in with Michael to ward off Nelle. She loves being close to him, but it was more a necessity. Before this happened, marriage and kids weren’t even on her radar. Chase and Willow though… Chase remembers telling Willow that he has an agenda. He wants to spend more time with her as a couple, and see where things go. Is that something she wants? She says, very much, and he tells her, it’s the sort of conversation two people have when they love each other, and he loves her. She says she loves him too. He tells Sasha, Willow is the love of his life.

Michael tells Willow, it’s not just how she looks on paper; it’s how she is in person. Nelle is great at faking it, at being honest and altruistic, but Willow is all that and more. It’s like saccharine versus sugar. One tastes fine until you have the real thing. She’s the real thing, and so is her love for Wiley. He can’t say he wouldn’t love the chance to show that to the judge.

Anna says, popcorn before the party? and Finn says, Violet had to test it to make sure it’s okay. Anna says, quality control; she gets it. Violet wants her to come see the face painting and the photo booth, and drags her outside. Robert says, Violet is on cloud nine, and the party hasn’t even started. Finn did good. Finn thanks him, and tells him, come on. Finn asks if Peter is coming, but Peter says he has to make a quick call. Finn asks if Robert is going to get his face painted, and Robert says he could be persuaded. Finn says, princess or unicorn? They leave, and Peter makes a call. He says, it’s him. Robert may still be a problem. He wants to move for the distraction.

Lulu tells Maxie, she hates this, but gets it. She promises that Valentin’s involvement is for the same reason he bought Charlotte a horse. He wants to make himself look good to Maxie, the way the horse makes him look good to Charlotte. He’s always trying to show her up. My, she is self-focused. Maxie says, so much of it is in Lulu’s head, and Lulu says Valentin gave Charlotte unlimited access to his credit card. Maxie says, wow, and Lulu says, no wow. Charlotte could go to a jewelry store, and get a $10K necklace, and not bat an eye. Maxie tells her not to give Valentin more power by letting him come between them. She’s not resigning from her job. Lulu says, fine. Obviously, she doesn’t want to give Valentin more power or fight with Maxie. For the record, she’s happy for Maxie; she deserves it and she’s going to crush it. She loves Maxie. Maxie says she loves Lulu too, and Lulu says she has to pick up Charlotte. Maxie says, perfect timing; she has to get Georgie and James. They leave as Valentin watches.

Chase tells Sasha, you know something crazy? He was thinking about forever with Willow, only a month and a half in. When he’s with her, he’s home. Sasha says it’s not like they had it easy, and he says, no, but through all the struggle and hardship, watching Willow navigate it, made him love her more. Sasha says they have a right to be happy. As messed up and complicated as the custody situation is, it’s not his problem to solve.

Michael says he’s sorry for putting it on Willow; it’s not fair. If not for Chase, he’d marry her in a heartbeat. Willow thinks Chase loves her enough, that for Wiley’s sake, he would understand, but it’s not about Chase; it’s about her. Does that make her selfish? He says, not at all, and she says, if this is the only way, she’ll do it. Michael says, it’s not the only way. If it was, he’d throw himself on her mercy, offer her a million dollars, whatever it took; but he’s got the best lawyer in the state, and more assets at his disposal than Nelle. He can beat her. Willow asks if he promises that he’s not looking at her feelings instead of Wiley’s. He says he promises.

Chase asks where Michael’s head is at, and Sasha says, they talked about it, and she thinks he’s willing to marry Willow. He’s a good strategist, and knows how to put his feelings aside to get the outcome he wants. Willow isn’t like that. She’s not calculating like Michael, and she doesn’t mean that in a negative way. Chase says, Michael’s sole focus is on his son as it should be, and Sasha says, Willow can’t compartmentalize like that; she can only follow her heart. Chase says, so Michael would want to marry Willow? and Sasha says, she thinks the only reason he wouldn’t is out of respect for Chase and Willow. He knows how much they love each other. Chase says, he doesn’t know how Willow could be happy for the rest of her life if Nelle got custody of Wiley, and she knew she could have stopped it, but didn’t.

Tomorrow, Olivia says she hasn’t given up, Lulu tells Ava that she doesn’t want her daughter in the middle of this feud, and Sonny says somebody else needs a heads up.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi looks for ranch dressing, and Tom says he’s never gotten into ranch on pizza. This has never been more relevant to be, when I got fried mushrooms over the weekend from the local pizza place, and it came with ranch. I was like, WTF? Where’s the marinara sauce? In Katie’s interview, she says their wedding in the woods was everything, but now they have all their friends there for a fun weekend. When life hands you lemons, get married in Vegas. Both Tom and Stassi want to officiate, and they decide to do it together. Stassi asks if Tom is pissed, but he says no. In her interview, she says, it’s simple algebra. Her love for Katie and Schwartz outweighs her distain for Tom. Schwartz says, it’s going to be a fun, gimmicky Vegas wedding. He wants to give Katie another ring, and Stassi says she can’t even get one.

Scheana, Charli, and Danica go out for drinks. Danica says she woke up with red velvet cake all over her, and Charli says she did too. Scheana says, the only people allowed to touch her face are her makeup artist and Botox tech. She can’t go to the wedding, since she’s having surgery. She’s been hormonal, emotional, and sick. In her interview, she says tomorrow is her egg retrieval. It’s an emotional process. We flash back to her whining to Lala about doing it alone. Danica says she saw Scheana talking to Dayna, and wonders what’s up. Scheana says, it was a misunderstanding. The only thing that bothered her was that Dayna thought she liked Brett, but went out on a date with him, and told her afterward. She’d talked to Max, and he was cool about the Brett and Dayna thing, telling her it was just a casual lunch. Charli asks if Brett and Max aren’t best buddies.

At TomTom, Max shows Brett how to make some cocktails. In Brett’s interview, he says he’s not cut out to be a server, but he’s a great bartender, since he’s good at talking to people. Max says, Dayna loves espresso, and Brett can make it for her. Brett says he and Dayna made out at the party, but they didn’t plan it. He asks if it’s cool with Max, since he likes hanging out with Dayna. Max says, whatever, which usually means it’s not so cool. He says, if there’s a connection there, he can’t take that away. Brett says, if Max said he was overstepping, it would be a done deal.

Charli wonders if Brett is going around the restaurant, dating everyone. In her interview, she says she’s learned two things since moving to L.A. Everyone bangs everyone else, and they don’t care, and for men, a vagina has no face. She asks, who’s next? Lisa?

While shoe shopping, Lisa tells Ken about Brett saying he’d rather make out with her, and we flash back to that. Puffy! She asks if Ken is jealous, but he says, is she joking? He’s not going to be jealous of a whippersnapper. She says, for that, he’s buying her shoes, and she asks for the most expensive pair. The clerk shows her a pair of Vuittons, but she already has them in black, and tells him, keep going. She tells Ken that Tom and Katie are coming with them on the plane. They went through a lot to get them married, and when she found out it was null and void, she wants to see them do the paperwork this time. Now they’ve invited a bunch of others. In her interview, In her interview, she says, if she has to yank Schwartz down the aisle, they’re getting it done. She tells Ken Nick Alain is coming to Vegas, and they’re going over the plans for the Vanderpump Suite. In Lisa’s interview, she says the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden is a roaring success, so Caesar’s asked her to create a Vanderpump Suite. She’s loving the shoes, and tells Ken to get her out of there asap.

On the private plane, Tom says, this is legit, and Schwartz says, it’s too much. He asks if Lisa and Ken do this all the time, and Lisa wants to reiterate they’re to just have fun and seal the deal. He dropped the ball the last time, and Katie says Schwartz is just barely out of the doghouse. Lisa says at her house, the doghouse is a good place to be. Puffy! In Schwartz’s interview, he says, Puffy’s got it made.

In Vegas, Lisa and Ken check into the suite they’ve stayed in before, which will be the one they’re redesigning. The key has Lisa’s picture on it. The others arrive, and Lala is wearing a sheer duster. I love those.

At SUR, Dayna polishes the glasses, and Scheana says, it’s like déjà vu. Dayna asks if she’s working, but Scheana says she has her egg retrieval surgery tomorrow, and wants to get her pay in case she’s out for a few days. Dayna says they talked about the Brett situation, but Scheana went to Max and riled him up. He was fine before he talked to Scheana. Scheana says Brett thought it was just a casual lunch, but she’s sorry for commiserating with Max instead of having an adult conversation with Dayna. She owed that to her. Dayna says all she wants is for them to be real about what they’re thinking and feeling. She accepts Scheana’s apology, and wants to move on. In Dayna’s interview, she says Scheana is a goddam space cadet, but she appreciates the apology. She asks if Scheana is okay now, and Scheana says, 100%. She had a crush on Brett in the beginning, but they’re better as friends. She asks if Dayna is going hang out with Brett again, and Dayna says they’re having dinner with James and Raquel tomorrow. She tells Scheana, good luck with her egg retrieval.

Randall says, legally, this is a real wedding, and Lala says she’s excited. He asks if she thinks it’s going to trigger Stassi, and says Lala and Stassi have a lot in common. Lala says she’s tired of being a girlfriend; the girlfriend of a 47 year old man. In her interview, she says, when a man is in the 40 something range, he’s too old be a boyfriend. Leo DiCaprio should be a husband. She tells Randall, he’s too old to be a boyfriend.

Stassi and Tom work on the ceremony. Stassi says, they’re gathered here today, and Tom says, once again. Stassi suggests Tom and Ariana could get married there. In Ariana’s interview, she says, in this summer of weddings, it’s been nice to not constantly have to talk about if they’re getting married. She thanks Stassi for bringing it back up. Tom says Ariana still has to be convinced.

Brittany wants to get married again, and Jax says, absolutely not. In her interview, Brittany says, marrying Jax was special because it made them family. She wants that for Schwartz and Katie. Without that paper, they could easily part ways. Brittany questions Jax wearing a white jacket, but he says, it’s a bizarre situation. He doesn’t think there are any rules.

Schwartz loves his fringed jacket, and tells Katie, you know what else he loves? She says, her? and he pulls a bra out of his suitcase, saying, this bra. She says, it’s not hers. In his interview, Schwartz says he has no idea how it got in his suitcase. He tells Katie, she took the suitcase last time, but Katie says, WTF? This is not hers. She takes the bra, and ponders it.

Beau has a beer, and calls Stassi’s father Mark. He drinks more beer, and tells Mark that they’re in Vegas. In Beau’s interview, he says he definitely knows Mark speaks his mind. We flash back to them meeting, and Stassi saying she’s afraid Mark is going to scare Beau off. Mark says, it’s a father’s job to scare boyfriends off. Beau says, he’s intimidating. He tells Mark that he’s asking permission to propose to Stassi, and Mark says he was apprehensive when they first started going out. You don’t always know if it’s a perfect fit. He tells Beau, of course he can propose. He thinks they balance each other out, and make a great couple. He’s pleased. Beau says it means a lot, and he’ll make a good son-in-law when it happens. Mark says he can’t promise Stassi will make a good wife. Beau says, burn. He’s going to let her know Mark said that. He thanks Mark, and drinks some more.

Nick arrives, and Lisa says they’re going to meet with general manager Sean. Their ambition is to make the suite look more Vanderpumpian. She says Sean is the most handsome man she’s ever seen. He joins them, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know if he’s the most handsome. She shows him some photos, and says Nick is going to create a chandelier; his forte is lighting. In Lisa’s interview, she says it’s going to be top-of-the-line. Dignitaries, royalty, and movie stars will be staying there, but most important, she and Ken will stay there. Sean tells them that the restaurant surpassed expectation. Pretty soon, they’ll have 4000 Vanderpump rooms.

Charli asks Raquel how she and James are doing, and Raquel says, well. James is doing well on the path of sobriety, and it turns her on. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to say the sex is better, because it wasn’t bad, but it’s not sloppy drunk sex, and wondering if it’s going to work or not. Raquel asks Charli if things are cool with Brett, and Charli says, as a friend. She thought she’d have a guy friend who didn’t want to bang her, but Raquel says, if you have guy friend, he’s 100% going to want to bang you. It doesn’t work any other way.

In Vegas, everyone goes to Lisa’s restaurant. Katie says, it’s Schwartz’s last night of freedom. Their waitress could be Scheana’s double, and Jax says he thought it was Scheana. In Stassi’s interview, she says, it’s definitely a Black Mirror episode. She feels like the waitress is going to jump on the bar, and sing Sweet As Silver. It is an uncanny resemblance.

Kristen visits Scheana, and asks how the surgery went. Scheana says she doesn’t know. The first time, she had nine good eggs, but even if there’s only one, she’s never doing this again. In her interview, Scheana says they do the retrieval in under five minutes, but she has to wait to find out if any of them are viable. She tells Kristen that Katie texted, saying she wished Scheana was there, and Kristen says she doesn’t want to accidentally hit any of their stories. In Kristen’s interview, she says, it’s effing devastating. It was ride or die with her two best friends, but now they keep going through huge life moments without each other. She tells Scheana that her feelings are hurt, but she can’t take the fighting. Happy wedding. Good Lord, find some new friends already.

Schwartz tells Jax about the bra. In his interview, he says he’s definitely innocent. He has a clear conscience and nothing to hide. Lisa tells Katie that she put some of her underwear in Schwartz’s suitcase. He didn’t file the paperwork, and everyone always says he’s never held accountable for anything. Now he’ll be held accountable for something he didn’t do (a scathingly brilliant idea). In Katie’s interview, she says she wants to see Schwartz sweat and be uncomfortable. She’s going to see how long she can keep it going. Lisa tells the Scheana clone to keep away from Max. She laughs, and Lisa says, she even laughs like Scheana. Max says, she’s like a mini Scheana, and Lisa asks about Dayna. He says she and Brett made out, and Lisa asks if Brett is stepping on any toes. Max says, he’s frustrated, but it is what it is. In Max’s interview, he says he supported Brett and Dayna’s friendship, but told Brett that he had feelings for Dayna. Tom suddenly announces they’re going ziplining, and tries to get Lisa to go. She says she’s already had a couple of drinks.

We see Lisa being hooked up to the zipline. She says she hasn’t done this since her honeymoon. Everyone ziplines, and it looks like a lot of fun. Lisa says she survived.

Katie tells Schwartz the bra isn’t hers, and she doesn’t know if she can marry him now. He flops face down on the bed and moans. She says she’s just screwing with him. He says they have to figure out whose bra it is, and she asks whose bra he wishes it was. He says, Lisa’s, and she laughs. She says, Lisa put it in his suitcase yesterday. In Katie’s interview, she says Lisa is Schwartz’s hall pass. Go for it, and good luck. He tells her that he smelled it, and doesn’t want to give it back. In his interview, he says Katie had him for a second. It was the best prank. He tells Katie he wants to keep it, but not in a weird way. She says, there is no other way.

Danica visits Dayna, who’s going through some new clothes she bought online. In Dayna’s interview, she says, it’s hard to be a sexy girl in L.A. on a budget. She goes for cheap, slutty clothes, so it’s a win-win. Danica asks, what’s going on with Brett? and Dayna says they kissed during the cake fight. She doesn’t know what’s going on, but he makes her vagina tingle. The other issue is Max. Danica thinks he’s immature, but doesn’t think Brett is the person for Dayna either. She deserves better. In Danica’s interview, she says Dayna is a Leo and Brett is a Pisces, and they don’t mix. She slathers on some lip gloss, and says she’s dated two Pisces. She’s a Leo, and that’s why she has restraining orders against her. It’s not her fault; they were too sensitive. Dayna says she appreciates Danica’s concern, and Danica says she knows Dayna has good sense and judgment, and she wants her to use it.

Tom goes to Schwartz’s suite, dressed like a poor man’s Elvis. Schwartz asks for a quarter shot. He says, Lisa’s bra smells like opulence; diamonds, rosé, and tangerines. In his interview, Tom says, the theme is bizarro character Vegas. Schwartz is cowboy glam, marrying his glam rocker bride. Ariana is an enthusiastic middle-aged tourist, Lala is a glitter babe, Stassi is a nun, and he’s the king of extra. It’s the perfect Vegas wedding.

Lisa tells Stassi that the nun outfit suits her. Ariana comes in wearing her tourist garb, and Lisa says everyone who works for her is batsh*t crazy. Katie walks down the aisle, and Tom tells everyone, be seated. They’re gathered here once again. He shows that they have the proper documents, and everyone applauds. Stassi says, it’s a twice in a lifetime event, and feels it’s all Schwartz’s fault. Stassi says, now Schwartz gets his dream wedding of all of them getting sh*tfaced in Vegas. In Jax’s interview, he says there’s nothing more on brand for Schwartz and Katie, but his and Brittany’s wedding was better. Schwartz and Katie vow to be each other’s ride or die all their lives, and in the afterlife. They’re pronounced husband and wife, and Tom says, let’s sign this sh*t right now. Katie throws the bouquet, and Stassi catches it.

Dayna and Brett go on their double-date with Raquel and James. Brett asks, what’s going on? He saw James talking to Lala. James says, Lala has had a lot of patience with him. We flash back to them hugging it out, and James says he feels like they’re coming to a real place. Raquel says Lala has been where James is, making the decision not to drink, and has been encouraging. In his interview, James says he’s been sober for two weeks, and has had no fights with anyone. It’s been an amazing two weeks. Brett reminds Dayna that he licked her face at the party, and Dayna says Danica has been messing in her business since Max, and Brett says, she overdramatizes every situation. In Brett’s interview, he says Danica has been poisoning his garden, and he only wants non-GMO things growing in there. He mentions flirting with Lisa, and James says Lisa has been like his mom, and he’s never flirted with her. In his interview, Brett says, working at SUR, he’s seen beautiful women, but there’s nothing like when Lisa walks through the room. If she wasn’t married, he’d definitely slide into her DMs. Hard. I’ll bet she’d slide him right out. Hard. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Lisa is hot.

Back in Vegas, after the ceremony, everyone applauds when Schwartz and Katie come in. Jax says he’s going to keep his speech short. He’s happy they got married a second time, and speaks for Brittany as well when he says, welcome to married life. He thanks Schwartz for effing up, so they could go to Vegas. Lisa says Schwartz owes her big time. We find out Scheana’s twin’s name is Karrah, and Max says he slipped her his number. Stassi says he’s hooking up with Scheana’s doppelganger? They toast with shots, and Beau tells Lisa that he’s proposing soon to Stassi. He’s got the rings, and she has no idea. It’s epic. In his interview, Beau says most people are nervous about the girl’s father, but he has her group of friends to make him nervous, and he has to ask Lisa. He tells Lisa that he’s going to propose in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Lisa is happy, and knows Stassi loves him. She says she knew Ken was the one because she didn’t want to spend life without him. Puffy! She knows Beau feels that way about Stassi, and promises to keep it a secret. Stassi gazes at Beau.

The next morning, Beau tells Stassi, it’s hard be a normal human. She orders a Bloody Mary from room service, using a British accent, and Beau adds an English muffin. She tells Beau that she caught the bouquet, and don’t forget it. They pack.

Lisa tells Ken, there are some liquor distributor bills that need to be sorted out, and gets Max on a video call. She asks if he paid them, and he says he did. He tells her that the other guys left the place a mess, and she tells him not to leave the room looking like a brewery; it will reflect badly on her. She asks to see the room, and says, it looks terrible; clean it up. She tells him to show her the bed again, and sees a hand peeking out. She asks, what’s with that? and he says he brought a friend home. It’s Karrah, and Max says, she’s very tired. Karrah says, she’s not tired from him; she promises. Lisa says, he’s got to be effing kidding. In her interview, she says why is she not surprised? Max didn’t waste any time getting in trouble. She tells Karrah, get out of bed and clean the room. Max says they’ll talk later, and she says, don’t worry; they will. In Max’s interview, he says he hates Vegas. Lisa tells Ken, Max is already banging the staff, as if he hasn’t banged enough people already.

Katie asks Schwartz where the paper is, and he knows he has it, but can’t find it. In her interview, she says she married an imbecile, but it’s okay. He insists there’s no chance he lost it, and she says, it’s literally the whole reason they’re there, and he couldn’t hold on to it for an hour. She’s going to tell Lisa. In his interview, Schwartz says he didn’t lose what matters most… Lisa’s bra. Katie hopes it turns up, but Schwartz says, they’re still legally married. She asks if he’s sure about that.

Next time, Dayna flirts with Brett, James and Lala record some new music, and Beau wants to remain friends with Kristen, which makes Stassi mad.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Lushion sees Ian and Alex having sex through the window, and blocks Brad’s view, telling him she’s not there. Brad says he didn’t knock, but Lushion says he remembered Ian left. Brad asks if his car isn’t there, and Lushion says, he had somebody pick him up; let’s go. Brad says Alex left the kids home with a babysitter who has to go to school tomorrow. Lushion doesn’t know what came over her, and Brad thinks she’s lost her mind. He says he’ll be at the house, and if Alex calls, let him know. He tells Lushion, Marcie thinks something happened to Alex, and Lushion says, it’s a legit question. Brad thinks nothing happened, and Alex is just mad about the divorce papers. She knew the babysitter would call him. Lushion says, these things are difficult. Wait at the house until Alex gets home. He can call, and see if Alex picks up; the kids shouldn’t be home alone. Brad says, Marcie is there. He’s sorry he got Lushion out of bed, but Lushion says, no problem.

At home, Natalie wants to know what’s going on, and Lushion says she reminds him of Miss Ross. She asks, who’s that? and he says, she was an amazing woman. He thinks she liked her scotch, and she’d sit on the porch, saying, see you don’t come on the grass. Leave the cats alone. Natalie wonders what he’s talking about, and he asks why she’s always in somebody’s business. Why does she have to know everything? She says, it’s the middle of the night, there’s a knock at their door, and she’s not supposed to ask questions? He tells her, it was Brad, and she asks what Brad wanted. She knows this is Lushion’s way of trying to ignore her. She knows him, and he does this when there’s something she should know, and he doesn’t want her to. Like with the money in his account. What’s the situation with Brad? Or does she have to ask him herself? Lushion says, he was looking for Alex, and Natalie says, she’s not home? He says, if she was home, Brad wouldn’t be looking for her. She asks if he thinks something happened, but he says, no. She asks how he knows, and suggests calling Alex, but he says, it’s not necessary. She thinks they should ask Ian, but he says, it’s none of their business. She says, something could have happened, but he says Alex isn’t missing. She’s at Ian’s house. Natalie asks why she’d be there this late, and he says, they’re having sex. Natalie says, just tell her, without the condescending bullsh*t. He says he and Brad walked over to Ian’s, and he saw them through the window having sex. Natalie says, with each other? and I wonder who else she thought they’d be having sex with. She asks if Brad saw, but he says, no. She starts to leave, but he says, no; she’s not going over there. It’s none of their business. She wants to tell Alex to take her ass home, and he says he thought about that, or talking to Ian, but it’s not their business. He’s going to sleep. She says, okay, but Alex has lost her damn mind.

Eddie has a large Black cellmate, and Eddie says, keep looking at him. His cellmate says, don’t worry, he is. Eddie calls for the guard, and dude says, they come and go every fifteen minutes. Eddie says, oh, he can count to fifteen. He talks stupid, and Eddie is tired of hearing his mouth. Black people talk stupid. Dude comes up on him, and Eddie asks why he’s waiting, all gangster. Dude says, he’ll be patient, and Eddie says he’s going to sleep, and gets in the top bunk. Dude grabs him off of the bunk, and Eddie says he’s not scared of him. Dude punches him, and Eddie laughs. Dude calls Eddie a crazy MF’er, and Eddie says, it’s what he lives for. Dude keeps punching him, and a guard comes by. He asks what the hell dude is doing, and yanks him out of the cell. Kelly asks if dude hit Eddie for her. She hopes he beats Eddie’s ass. Eddie says, he’s alive and well, and she says, it’s a shame. He says, it’s the same thing she was saying about Travis, and she tells him, go to hell. He says he’s going to sleep. If she shut the hell up, it would be great. She starts to sing Amazing Grace, and Eddie says, He ain’t coming to save her. She says, when anything happens with God, it stirs the devil. Something bad is going to happen to him. He thanks her for the revelation, and she says it’s going to be the person he least expects. He calls her Harriet, and tells her to fire up the Underground Railroad, and get her ass to sleep. She says, mark her words, and he says, goodnight. She says she feels sorry for him, and he says her ass is going to burn in the electric chair.

Marcie looks on the laptop, and tells Brad, she can’t believe all these guys. He says don’t remind him. She says they need to chat. She thinks they both need to be tested. With Alex doing all that, how could he know? She’s never had anything. Brad says, neither has he, but she thinks they should be on the safe side. Brad agrees, and she says he should take Alex back to court. She’s getting half of his income, and she’s not even taking care of the kids. She’s taking advantage of him. He says this is making him angry, and she says, he’s about be more angry. He says, don’t tell him anything else, and she gets up. She says, the baby is crying. She’ll get him. They can’t let him cry. She goes upstairs.

Marcie holds the baby, and says she’s sorry he was born into this. He doesn’t deserve this. Here he is though. No matter what anyone says to him, remember he’s special. Brad comes in, and she hands him the baby, saying, sorry. She wipes her tears away, and says, he’s so innocent and helpless. Alex is like a factory, and has a good man in her life, but she’s whoring around. Brad tells her, try to calm down, and she says she hopes the bitch is trapped in a ditch, and dead. She’s ruined every life she touches, and her marriage. Brad says, she was unhappy, and he can’t blame her for everything. What they can do is try to get through this, and move on. She says she thought they had it figured out, but… She leans on him, and he puts his arm around her. She says, he’s a beautiful baby, and Brad agrees he is.

At the bar, Nurse Pat (I finally found out her name) tells Rick, the sun is coming up. Take her home, but don’t think he’s sleeping with her. He’s not coming near her. He says he’s not ready to go, and she says, they’re closing. She’s going to call an Uber, and he says, she’s just leaving him? She says, he’s too drunk to drive, and he says they live on the same street, but she says she’s not walking. He says, it’s three blocks, and she says she’s been on her feet all day. He says they were dancing, and she says that was more on her feet. He wants one for the road, but she says he doesn’t need anything else. He says he needs her, and she says he needs a flea bath. He says, now he’s a dog too? and she says, a ho is more like it. He asks if she’s not giving him any information, and she takes an envelope out of her purse. She hands it to him, saying it’s a typed letter; it’s all she knows. He opens it, and looks at it. He says, she signed it, and thanks her. He says she had this all the time? and she says she doesn’t like Kelly, but she feels sorry for her. It’s a sworn affidavit. He says, damn, and she made him do all this? She says she wanted to see how long he would go on. He thanks her again, and she asks if he’s ready to take her home. He says, no, but he’ll walk her to the Uber. She says he was just trying to sleep with her to get information, and he says he was going to take one for the team. She says he’s an ass, and he says, she’s sexy, and they leave.

Steven stops by Kelly’s cell, and she thanks him for calling Lushion. He asks how she’s holding up, and she says, okay, except for the ass next door. He says, sorry about that, and Eddie says, come on. He’s had his fun, putting that dude in there. He’s done with this game, and still pays Esperanza’s mortgage. He’ll stop by when he wants. He says, open the damn cell door, but Steven says, not yet. He still has to process the paperwork. Eddie tells him, do what he needs to, and get him out. Steven says, get comfortable, but Eddie says he’s not playing. When he gets out, it’s going to beat Steven’s ass. Kelly and I laugh, and Eddie calls her the wicked witch. Steven says, it looks like Eddie will be there a while.

Esperanza sees Steven at the copy machine. He says, it’s a great day, and she says she loves how incredibly optimistic he is. She’s thought about what he told her, and she’s going to see someone. She’s not using the insurance, since she doesn’t want anyone to think she’s crazy. He says, asking for help isn’t crazy, but do it her way. She says she’s also going to subpoena Eddie. She’s serving him now. Steven says, it’s about time. Stand her ground; he has her back. She says he’s really patient, and thanks him.

Larry is sleeping next to his partner in leather. His wife says, good morning. He knows the rules. He says he does, and apologizes. He tells leather guy to wake up and go home. He should have been gone. She says Larry knows their agreement, and he asks how her weekend was. She says, good, and he asks who she was with. She says, Allison, and he says, she’s fun. His wife says, she’s become too needy. They have to get her off the list; she’s more trouble than she’s worth. He tells her, if she says so. She asks if leather guy can get dressed slower, and Larry says, boss lady is here; go in the other room. He leaves, and she tells Larry, Allison told her something interesting. Something happened with the church, and he should talk to Ian. Something suspicious is going on, and he should look into it. He says he’ll check it out at the office. He says leather guy was pretty good, but not as good as her. Does she want to have some fun before he leaves? She says, it would be breaking another rule, and he says, her loss. She asks if leather guy needs to be paid, and Larry says, leather guy paid him. She says, maybe they should keep him around.

Rick is sleeping on the couch, and Pat tells him, get his ass up. Why is he at her place? Did they…? He says, yeah, and she says, damn. She looks around for a condom, and says if she doesn’t find a wrapper, she’ll shoot his ass. He says they didn’t use one, and tells her, he’s joking. They didn’t have sex. She tells him, quiet. She’s communicating with her vagina. He asks what it said, and she says, okay. Her vagina said they didn’t do anything. He’d better not tell anybody. Get his sh*t and go.

Natalie tells Lushion, he needs to pick the kids up; she has to go into work. He says he thinks it’s time she quit to be a stay-at-home mom. She says she’s been working all her life, and he says, maybe it’s time for her to stop. She says then she’d have to depend on him for everything. He asks if she doesn’t trust him, and she says, it’s not that. She doesn’t want to be waiting for him to bring home a check; it doesn’t feel right. He says, it needs to start feeling right. He thinks he wants another baby. She says they have three kids, plus another kid, Justice. Is he serious? He says he is, and she says she’ll think about it. He says, so that’s a no? but she says she didn’t say that. She needs to think about it. She promises she will, and says she loves him.

Rick is waiting outside for Lushion, who says he really needs to call first. Rick says he has to bring him this, and gives him the affidavit. He says, it’s from Pat, the nurse in the jail infirmary. Lushion looks at it, and says, good. She gave him up. With what Kelly has, it’s all going to come together. They’ve got him now, and have to make sure the DA gets him.

Eddie tells the guard to bring his rookie bald ass over there. Kelly hopes he rots in there. He says, screw her, and she calls him stupid. He says she killed a man in cold blood, and they have it on camera. He says she’s a fake-ass Christian, and she says he’s not getting under her skin. He says she’s a dumb bitch, and Steven appears, and says, leave her alone. Eddie says, let him out, but Steven says he’s been charged with driving under the influence. Wait until Eddie sees what he blew. Eddie laughs, and Steven says, not that. His blood alcohol level. And there were drugs in his system. Eddie says, Steven thinks he gives a damn? Steven says he doesn’t think the DEA is going to be happy to find out. Eddie says Steven set him up, and Steven says he set himself up. Eddie is sure this is Steven and Lushion’s grand plan; it’s gang up on Eddie day. Steven says, it’s going to be gang raped when Eddie goes to prison day, and Eddie says he’s got it all figured out. Steven tells Eddie, think what he wants, and Kelly asks if Lushion is in yet. Steven says Lushion is on his way, and Kelly asks him to have Lushion come and see her right away. Steven says he will, and leaves.

Larry sees Randal digging in the trash, and laughs. Randal asks if Larry thinks it’s funny, and Larry says, not at all. Randal says, that bastard knocked him off a ladder, and destroyed his house. Larry says, sorry. Is he okay? Randal says, he wants them, and Larry asks if he has proof. Randal says he knows in his gut, and Larry says he can’t take Randal’s gut to court. Randal says he has a hard drive, but his camera is busted. Larry says he can take it to a friend who can pull what’s on it. Randal thanks him, and Larry asks where the cameras are. Randal says, hidden, and Larry says he didn’t see them. Randal says, that’s the point, and Larry says, touché. He wonders if Randal has what they did to Eddie on video; he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing it again, but Randal says he doesn’t have cameras in the house. Larry says, a hard drive can even show things Randal thinks he erased, and Randal says, maybe he shouldn’t give it to Larry. Larry asks what he’s hiding, and Randal says, nothing. Larry says, he can’t sue without evidence, and Randal tells him, go to hell. He’ll give some kid the hard drive. Larry says Randal needs all the control, and starts to walk away. Randal says, when he gets the evidence, he wants Larry to sue them, and Larry says, Randal’s wish is his command.

Eddie sings Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, and I nearly die laughing. Esperanza goes to Kelly’s cell, and asks how she is. Kelly says, girl, and Esperanza says she knows. Kelly asks if Esperanza has seen her son, and Esperanza says she hasn’t. Kelly asks if she can go see him, and Esperanza says she will. Kelly asks if Esperanza knows who’s next door, and Esperanza says that’s why she’s there; to serve him. Kelly says, it’s going be fun, but Esperanza says, no; it’s not, but she’s finally ready. Kelly says, when she gets out, she’s going to fight like hell to take control of her life. It’s going to be a new day. Travis did this to a lot of other women, and she’s getting out. She got weak, and wondered what the hell was wrong with her, feeling sorry for herself. She didn’t do anything wrong. Travis came after her, and taunted her. All she did was defend herself. Esperanza suggests she stop talking about it in there. There’s about to be hell. She moves on to Eddie’s cell, and he says speak of the trouble he’s seen, here’s the bitch at his cell door. How did she know he was there? She says, the whole station knows. She didn’t come to talk. He asks why she’s there, and she hands him the subpoena. She says she sent a registered copy to his boss, and filed it at the courthouse. Eddie says she and Steven did this; they set him up. She says, how? and he says they got him a DUI. She says, really? Did they make him drink or do drugs? He did this sh*t all by himself. It’s done. He says, it isn’t done, and she says, this conversation is done. He says, no; she’s done. He’s going to kill this bitch. He doesn’t care how many cameras are filming him. If she takes his little girl, the only thing he loves, he’s going to kill her. She says she thinks his performance is on tape, but he says he doesn’t care. Her blood is going to be on the street. She walks away, and she and Kelly grab hands as she walks past. Eddie says Kelly’s ass is going to the electric chair, and she says, after him. He says he’s got a DUI; she’s a murderer, and they’re going to fry her ass. He tries to reach into her cell, but can’t. He says he’s only there for three days; her ass is going to be in the electric chair. He tosses the subpoena out of the cell, and yells for someone to open the damn door.

Esperanza says, Steven was listening. He says maybe he overheard. She asks if he heard Eddie say he’s going to kill her, but he tells her not to worry. She asks how long they can keep him, and he says, not long enough, but it’s okay. She’ll be fine. They can go out later, and have some fun on the range. He’ll turn her into a sharpshooter.

Ian wakes up on the kitchen island next to Alex. He tells her to wake up. She sits up, and says, what the hell? Where is she? He says, in his house, and she looks around. She asks, what the hell is going on? and he says she overslept. She asks how she got there, and what is she doing there? He says, she doesn’t remember? She came over last night. She says, no; what’s going on? She didn’t want that. Ian says, she came over, and she was drinking a lot. She says, did he just… He says, hold on, and she says he drugged and raped her. He says, no; he didn’t.

Next time, Alex tells Brad she never wanted this, Larry says they have to talk to the DA about Travis, Ian asks what Alex last remembers, Eddie grabs the Bible from Kelly, and Ian tells Randal to watch himself.

💸 A Reprieve…

At least this year, I don’t have that stomach clutch that comes just before April 15th. Even though there are a whole group of new clutches to replace it. Stay safe, and be cool, honey bunny.

April 10, 2020 – GH Today, Double the Apology, LA Soon, Wives Next Week, Lu Tells All, Bethenny Responds, Randy’s Advice, DIY TP, Why, Your Personal Hogwarts, Tyler’s Gift, Prep Now, an Unlucky Number Of Quotes & Super

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

🩺 Just for the record, today’s General Hospital was the episode where Nelle left Michael to die in a burning car, and gave birth in the woods. All alone. Except for Obrecht.

Shahs of Sunset

Would they please change the opening song? Or at least move on to a different verse. It’s been eight seasons now of the same six lines.

GG and Destiney want to exude good fortune, so they go to a clinic to get fillers. Destiney doesn’t like needles, and in her interview, GG says she wants to get back in the swing of things, and forget she lost the pregnancy. With the physical pain of a needle, you feel the pain, and afterwards, it’s like a release. She realizes she sounds crazy. She tells Destiney that she wants to back to her life, and Destiney wants everyone to be on good terms with positive vibes. GG says, it’s wishful thinking. A couple of people are getting along with MJ, but personally, GG doesn’t want to be around her. In GG’s interview, she says MJ used to be there for her. We flash back to them being friends, and GG says MJ was a person who she felt secure to be around, but she doesn’t feel that way anymore. Owner Nayera says Destiney looks nervous, and tells her, don’t get scared. GG tells Nayera, she wants Botox, but not a whole lot. Nayera puts numbing cream on GG’s face. In her interview, GG says she’s been doing fillers since she was twenty-seven. It makes her feel amazing and fresh. Destiney can’t watch. GG tells Nayera that she wants a little everywhere, and Destiney compares it to basting a turkey. She tells GG that she’s crazy. Nayera puts numbing cream on Destiney’s lips, and GG holds Destiney’s hand while taking pictures with her other hand. GG says she hasn’t laughed this hard in so long. She’s going to have to wear diapers next time. After what she’s been through, it’s exactly what she needed.

Reza and Mike go to an arcade, and it looks like a blast. They play games for a while, then get drinks and something to eat. Reza tells the girl at the counter that he’s going to order an obscene amount of food. She introduces him to Guillermo del Pouro, their robotic bartender. The food comes, and it is an obscene amount, but it’s all fair food, like corn dogs and curly fries, and I wish I was there. Mike says he doesn’t like corn dogs, and Reza and I say, what? Mike asks when Reza became a white guy, and Reza says, when he married Adam. Their marriage is hanging on by a shred. Mike says, it all happened after the stupid accusations, and Reza says, that’s not lost on him. In Mike’s interview, he says he’s trying to get them to admit what they’ve done wrong. They both effed up. If MJ will take responsibility, maybe they can meet in the middle, and get it done. Mike tells Reza, if he’d taken the moral high ground, everyone would have been on his side. Reza says, sometimes bitches get caught up in their feelings. Mike says, Reza was upset and hurt, and retaliated. He had misdirected anger against Ali. In Reza’s interview, he says he needs to apologize. A real Persian man stands up in his truth, apologizes, moves forward, and doesn’t make the same mistake over again. Mike tells him, fix this, please.

In the car, MJ tells assistant Sienna that Tommy wants Baby Shams to learn Spanish rather than Farsi, but anyone can learn Spanish. Farsi is hard. Tommy says, no one cares about Farsi, and MJ says, gracias. MJ tells them, Reza texted that he hasn’t been in a good place since the rumors about Adam being unfaithful. He wasn’t ready to meet up when she texted, but he is now, if she’s willing. In MJ’s interview, she says, Reza has proven he’s despicable as a friend. He verbally assaulted her, assaulted and slandered her and her husband online, called the cops on her husband, and lawyered up. He’s on a tear. Who takes a friend to court over a broken bowl? She slept on it, and decided in order for them to heal as a group, she’s going to meet him. Tommy says Reza knew she almost died. He made it seem like she was sitting around like a puppet master. If he thinks she’s capable of that, he’s not her friend. That’s the reason people stopped hanging out with OJ. They couldn’t believe he was capable of murder. In her interview, MJ says she’s going to meet with Reza  because she wants to see if he has a decent bone in his body. Tommy tells her, Reza needs to grovel.

Nema meets with Annette and Vincenza, organizers of the Boots & Brew Country Music Festival. In his interview, Nema explains that they’re a multi-million dollar client, and his company creates branded content. We flash back to him helping GG with her cannabis business. He says they’re going to take an already cool thing, and make it ten times cooler on social media. Annette and Vincenza show him around the grounds. In Nema’s interview, he says he invited everyone. His invitations to Reza and MJ are personally selfish. He had to invite both of them, or the one who wasn’t invited would be mad, and he learned his lesson at Sara’s party that the element of surprise can go the wrong way. He’s hoping the collective beef will outweigh their individual beef.

In Destiney’s interview, she says she’s been seeing Sam for two months, It’s his birthday, and he’s coming to L.A. She likes nothing better than putting a smile on the face of someone she cares about. Their relationship is super casual, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be bougie and make him feel good. She goes to a swank hotel, where she’s gotten a suite. Sam arrives bearing roses. In her interview, Destiney says Sam’s sister definitely doesn’t want her talking to her brother. If Sara knew about it, she’d be flipping out. Clearly, she doesn’t give a sh*t.

Tommy calls MJ as she drives, and she tells him that she’s on her way to meet Reza. He asks, what’s the plan? and she says, to bring some sense into this sh*t. He says, she’s known Reza for thirty years, and she should handle it however she thinks she should. Reza is waiting when she gets to the restaurant. He gives her a shopping bag, and says, it’s a gift for the baby. He starts to cry, and says he originally got a baby bracelet, but flushed it down the toilet. He puts on his sunglasses to hide his tears. In MJ’s interview, she says the reason she’s skeptical is, she’s been down this road before. We flash back to Reza telling her that nothing can get between their bond, then fighting with her at the reunion, and then them hugging it out. He tells her he wanted to get a bottle of whiskey, but got something light to drink. MJ laughs, and says she didn’t know he was going to make her laugh right away. He says, it’s better than being angry, and asks how she is. She says she’s looking at her best friend of thirty years. He says he couldn’t respond after her text message. When he had to meet Ali, he thought they’d just be talking naked Jenga, but Ali brought a stack of papers. He was devastated, and asked Ali why he was doing this. He told Reza that MJ told him to do it. MJ says, that’s completely bullsh*t. She had Destiney telling her that Ali claimed she had set it up. Reza says, from that day, his life at home was a living hell. You can’t talk about things in someone’s marriage, and not think it won’t have a ripple effect. It made him a miserable human being. He didn’t have his best friend, and his husband was cheating. He was in the darkest place in his life without her. He can’t compare it with her being in the hospital, but he didn’t set out to hurt her on purpose. He was told his husband cheated, then Ali said Adam was sexually harassing other people, and that MJ had told him to bring Reza the information. He was going crazy. She asks why he didn’t call her, and he says, why didn’t she call him? She says she wishes she had. Reza blows his nose in a napkin, and MJ says he never gave her respect and love when it counted. He could have picked up the phone. It’s very effed up. Destiney lied, Ali lied, and she’s the person who fell on the sword giving birth, and lost her friend of thirty years. He popped off on her at the party, and put her personal information on Instagram. Tommy vandalized his landscaping, and here they are. He says Tommy called and said he’d kill Reza when he was on his way to Reza’s house. He and Adam were petrified in their own house. He freaked TF out. Then MJ was saying she wished everyone has a husband like Tommy, and she was glad he did that. MJ says, if she’s honest, she was holding onto things that happened at the pool party. Reza says he did the most vile thing, and he’ll try to make it up to her for the rest of his life. He wishes he could turn the clock back. He’s forgiven Tommy, and he’s not going to pursue any charges or do anything to hurt him. MJ appreciates it, and apologizes for anything  and everything Reza has been through. She’s sorry they’re not closer, and could be there for each other. Reza suggests taking it one step at a time. He wants to go slow, and see where it goes. He doesn’t expect anything; just a little crack so they can text occasionally, and see what happens. MJ says she looks forward to Reza meeting Shams, but Shams needs her right now. Reza says he understands, and asks if he can have a hug. Please. They hug, and she says he kind of smells weird, which is unusual. I’m guessing it’s nervous sweat, which can really stink. She tells him, if he wants to text, don’t hesitate. In Reza’s interview, he says he misses her, and it’s very sad.

Destiney and Sam go to a private room in the hotel restaurant, and order drinks. In Destiney’s interview, she says she’s trying to make his day special. They’re enjoying their time together, and not thinking about the future, but of course she is. They kiss, and Destiney orders steak for both of them. Sam suddenly starts acting really weird, and talking gibberish. In her interview, Destiney says, something is not right. This is not the Sam she’s been talking to. She doesn’t know if he’s on something. Sam adds burping to his craziness. In Destiney’s interview, she says, this isn’t good. She’s all about manners, and she’s over this sh*t. Frankly, I don’t know what to make of it either.

Nema arrives at the festival. In his interview, he says, it’s a Rolex-free day. He gives his drone operator Cody instructions. In Nema’s interview, he says he’s a pretty amazing producer. Part of his job is to work with the talent, and sometimes the talent is eccentric. He might be the best one to produce the group’s reconciliation. Methinks Nema is a tad narcissistic, although not necessarily in a bad way.

Shervin and Reza meet at Mike’s place. Mike says Shervin looks like a gay cowboy.

Sara goes to GG’s condo, and GG says her stomach is bloated. She’s going to need to stay in a wheelchair 80% of the time. In her interview, she says it’s been less than a week since her surgery. She tells Sara, she’s dying to get dressed like a cowgirl and yeehaw.

Destiney joins the others at Mike’s, and Mike wonders why she didn’t bring Sam. In Destiney’s interview, she says, Sam was like an abstract painting. She was super intrigued, and wanted to keep looking at it. She wanted to understand it, but then things changed. We see a clip of later in the evening of Sam’s birthday. He keeps burping, and being weird, and she quietly walks out with her suitcase. She says, they’re no longer talking. GG arrives, carrying a stick pony. Everyone gets into the limo.

Nema meets MJ at the festival, riding a scooter. She tells him that he looks stupid. He supposes there will be no panty dropping.

In the limo, Reza asks when GG saw MJ last, but she doesn’t remember. She says she’s not looking forward to it. She doesn’t think MJ is a good person. Frankly, I think MJ is a confused person, who had Vida for a mother, and misses her dad terribly.

Nema tells MJ the scooter is for GG. She had some medical sh*t go down, and needed emergency surgery. He didn’t think she was going to be able to come. In MJ’s interview, she says, once Shalom came into the picture, she and GG drifted apart. We flash back to MJ and Reza setting GG up by inviting Shalom’s ex to an event. MJ says, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care when something serious happens. She asks Nema when GG had surgery, and he says a week and a half ago. She says she saw Reza, and he was crying the whole time. She just tried to appear calm, and listened to what he had to say.

Reza says he still forgives MJ, even though he knows she was involved. The limo parks, and they all get out. Nema scooters over to them, and MJ says, hey. Nema says he’ll show them the VIP area. GG complains that there’s no cup holder, and wants to roll up like gangsters. They do the slo-mo crew walk, and go to a tent that has tables and booze. They take a group photo, and Nema says he wouldn’t have thought this would happen two weeks ago. And I’m sure he’s mentally patting himself on the back. He says, Persian has gone country, and they wander around. They stop to eat, and GG says it’s the best mac and cheese she’s ever had. Nema admits to loving country music, and Reza asks if they can turn the volume down.

Suddenly, Mike gets up, and says he wants to ask a question. He asks if MJ knew about naked Jenga. We should have had a drinking game with that phrase. We’d have stayed drunk for weeks. In Mike’s interview, he says, in the past, his honesty has been questioned, and they need to come together and get the story straight. Someone needs to tell the truth. MJ says she wanted to tell Reza about the situation as soon as sh*t went down. Mike asks if she knew about the texts, or are the other two liars? She says she knew Ali wanted to bring up an issue with Reza, but he wasn’t clear on what the issue was. Mike says, the problem is, she’s lying. Ali has diarrhea of the mouth; there’s no way he didn’t give the details. He says he loves MJ, and wants her to speak the truth.

In Mike’s interview, he says, it can all be fixed if the truth is told. Reza says, when he sat with MJ, she wanted him to believe her hands were squeaky clean. He just wants to get to a better place. MJ thanks him, and says she appreciates everything about yesterday, but her hands aren’t clean. She knew about the Jenga texts, and knew Ali had an issue about it, but she doesn’t know what happened. Ali made it bigger than it was. She apologizes that they had to go through any of it. She’s sorry that when she found out, she didn’t think it was important enough tell them that she knew. Reza thanks her for taking accountability. In MJ’s interview, she says her intentions were to fix it. She has no problem apologizing, and wants to get to a better place. She thanks Reza, and asks if they can be friends again. He says, absolutely. He’d like to get to a place where they can move forward. They have a lot of chapters, and MJ says they’ll have a lot more. In GG’s interview, she says MJ has been Reza’s BFF for thirty years, and she feels for him. She wants to open his eyes, but he needs to go through it to understand it for himself; there’s no making up with MJ. Mike says he’s proud of MJ for mending the disconnect in the friendship.

They do some line dancing, and GG says she needs to lie down flat somewhere. She goes to the limo, and the others get ice cream. Shervin follows GG, and she tells him to get an ambulance; she’s having a piercing pain. A producer asks if she wants a medic. In her interview, GG says she has a high threshold for pain, so it must be a lot. She tells the medic that she had surgery recently, and he says she has three incisions that could be open. The others run back to the limo, and Shervin tells them what’s going on. Reza thinks GG should go to the hospital, and not risk it. GG says she’d rather go closer to where she lives. She thinks it’s because she hadn’t eaten, and then ate to much mac and cheese. She’s lactose intolerant. MJ tells her to stay lying in the same position. In GG’s interview, she says she guesses MJ woke up on the right side of the bed. She’s being compassionate and caring, and wants to be the big sister. But GG knows tomorrow, MJ might not wake up on that same side. The group heads back.

Mike shakes his head, saying, too much mac and cheese? What? MJ calls to see how GG is doing, and Mike says, she’s sitting up and blowing kisses toward the phone. GG gives him the finger, and he says, now she’s making a heart sign. She tells him it’s for him, not MJ. MJ says they sound like drunken clowns, and Mike says, they are drunken clowns. GG says, it hurts to laugh.

Next time, MJ surprises Destiney by inviting Ali to their meeting; Reza says Adam doesn’t have respect for their marriage; Nema tells his mother, because his childhood was traumatic, it’s strengthened his resolve not to have children.

💰 Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles will begin their new season on May 5th.

💋 The new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begins April 15th.

👩🏻‍💻 Zooming Along…

The Countess dishes the quarantine dirt.

https://extratv.com/2020/04/02/luann-de-lesseps-recalls-dying-of-laughter-with-rhony-cast-on-zoom-plus-she-talks-new-season/

👏🏻 Bethenny Claps Back…

On giving her the middle finger.

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/bethenny-frankel-said-rhony-premiere-gave-her-the-middle-finger.html/

And giving back.

https://extratv.com/2020/04/07/bethenny-frankel-reacts-to-rhony-premiere-plus-how-shes-giving-back-with-bstrong/

🎹 It’s No Short People…

A PSA from Randy Newman.

https://pagesix.com/2020/04/08/randy-newman-writes-coronavirus-musical-psa-stay-away/

🧻 For the Bored Or Overly Ambitious…

Or if you’re really desperate.

https://theoutdoorwear.com/an-easy-guide-to-making-toilet-paper-at-home/

🚽 Because We’re All Wondering…

A possible explanation on the shortage.

http://www.eatingwell.com/article/7764104/toilet-paper-shortage/

🔮 Get Your Harry Potter On…

Even Hogwarts has free online classes.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a32098959/hogwarts-free-online-classes/

🎁 My Man Tyler…

One more reason to watch Temptation Tuesday.

http://www.eatingwell.com/syndication/tyler-perry-pays-groceries-for-elderly-amid-coronavirus/

🗽 And a Side of Ramona…

Instead of watching the GH rerun, Bravo had a marathon of an old favorite, NYC Prep. I loved this series, and was very disappointed when they didn’t have a second season. For the most part, it was awful rich kids, who I figured would turn into equally awful adults. For whatever reason, this article also plopped a Ramona (Real Housewives of New York) video interview in the middle of it, so it’s double the fun.

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/nyc-prep-cast-where-are-they-now/

🗯 Quotes of the Week

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. – B. B. King

My morning fiber cookie has better taste than Sophie. – Han (Matthew Moy), 2 Broke Girls

To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. – Fred Rogers

She’s at track number none. – Robert Springs, Pillow Talk: 90 Day Fiancé, referring to a cast member meeting a probable catfish

Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular. – Roy T. Bennett

Just because things hadn’t gone the way I had planned didn’t necessarily mean they had gone wrong.Ann Patchett

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.Abraham Lincoln

Do one thing every day that scares you. – Eleanor Roosevelt

If I ever hear it again after quarantine, I’ll just burst in tears and curl up on the floor. – Daisy Tainton of Queens, whose neighbor keeps playing the same Ed Sheeran song, over and over, from The City

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. – George Bernard Shaw

Guests of guests don’t bring guests.Jessie Leavitt, NYC Prep

🏋️‍♀️ Yes, It’s Still Called a Weekend…

And you made it to another one. Since no Dead are walking, see you on Deck on Monday. Stay safe, and wishing you a blessed Easter and Passover.

April 9, 2020 – The Other Half Of the Necklace, a Sleepover In the Hamptons, Trolls Inspire Chefs & Rainbow

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sasha finds Willow at the hospital, and hugs her. Willow says, don’t tell Chase she was crying, but Sasha says, he probably figured it out; he’s a sharp guy. Willow says she knows she’s too close to this, and has to get emotional perspective. Sasha says she’s learned something about stress while developing spa products for Deception. The body doesn’t differentiate between physical, mental, and emotional stress. It doesn’t know the difference, and emotional stress is often the toughest to deal with. Willow says, okay. So she’s a wreck. Sasha says, the next part is just her theory, but she thinks Willow’s body can’t tell the difference between her love for Wiley when Willow thought he was her son, and now.

Chase tells Michael, he realizes Wiley is a priority, and Michael says, Willow is too. She’s more than a friend, and important in Wiley’s life. He can see what this is doing to her, and if it helps, she doesn’t have to testify in the custody hearing. Chase says, that will just make it worse. Willow needs to feel like she’s doing something positive for Wiley. If her getting on the stand will tip the scale, even a little bit, she’ll be thrilled. She’d do anything for that little boy. We flash back to Willow in court against Shiloh when he thought Wiley was his son. She says she had a baby, but Shiloh will never find him. He’s evil and vile. Diane tells her, stop talking, but she continues to go off on Shiloh. She says the only thing Shiloh cares about is himself. He’ll never, ever find her child. The judge tells Diane to handle her client, and Diane tells Willow to sit down. The judge says Willow admitted to having a baby, and has to turn the records over to the court. Willow says she won’t, and he cites her for being in contempt. Chase cuffs her, and reads her rights.

Nina tells Jax, after the disaster that was Sasha, she accepted the fact that she miscarried, and moved on. But she’s still holding on to that stupid necklace. Jax says he’s seen her holding it, and she says her mother gave it to her. Her mother hated her, and tried to kill her twice, once by accident, and once on purpose, because she wanted to get her hands on Nina’s money. She left the necklace in a box of things she’d bequeathed to Nina, along with a cryptic note. Two halves come together to mend a broken heart. Nina couldn’t help thinking maybe the baby survived.

Nelle says Carly should have known her, and welcomed her as a sister. Carly says, they’re not… related. Nelle says she can’t even say the word – sisters. That’s how much she hates it, and wishes it wasn’t true. They have the same father, and that makes them sisters. Carly says Frank wasn’t her father. He was a loser her adoptive mother married, and he ghosted them before she had a chance to know him. They only met once. She tracked him down in a crap apartment in Miami, trying to get a fraction of the child support he owed her mother. Nelle says he wasn’t Carly’s father until she wanted money, and Carly says she didn’t get one dime. She didn’t know Nelle was Josslyn’s kidney donor, or that Frank even had a daughter. Nelle says, she knew. Carly saw her.

Miami, 1995. Young Carly goes to an apartment. Frank opens the door (James Patrick Stuart, Valentin), and asks if he can help her. She says, Frank Benson? and he says, who’s asking? She says, Caroline Benson, and he says, Virginia’s little girl? How did she find him? She says, Ken Richardson knew someone who knew someone who knew his address. He says she’s lucky. They’re leaving soon. He has a business opportunity that’s a pretty sweet deal. She wonders if he’s even going to ask about her mom, and he says, how’s her mother? Still the same? Carly says she’s doing well, and he asks if they’re still in the same house, but Carly says they moved when she was in first grade for a neighborhood with better schools. He says she’s all grown up, and asks what she wants from him. She says he owes her mother fourteen years of unpaid child support. She’s there to collect. He says she must have her wires crossed. Virginia was the one who wanted to adopt her. Carly says, he didn’t want her, so he shouldn’t have pay? He says, if she wants to put it like that. A little girl comes out, and asks who she is.

Jason tells Josslyn, he doesn’t think Nelle can do or say anything that outweighs the facts. She asks if he thinks Michael will win, and he says, the facts are on Michael’s side. She says it’s cool how he sees things so clearly, and he says, not always. She says, more than the others do. She wishes he’d been there when Nelle first got to Port Charles. He would have seen right through her. We flash back to Nelle seeing Josslyn in the MetroCourt. She says it’s been a while, and Josslyn says, things have been tense between Nelle and her family. Nelle agrees, but they’re cool, right? Besides, they’re kind of family now. Josslyn is going to be the baby’s aunt. Is she ready for that? We move to Nelle asking if Josslyn is okay with her marrying Michael. Josslyn says she thought Nelle and Michael belonged together. It’s just that right now… Nelle says, Josslyn is thinking about her mom. She’s been thinking about Carly too. Sonny says he bets she has, and Nelle says she’s hoping Carly gets better, comes home, and accepts the baby, and her along with it. Josslyn hopes she’s right, and Nelle says she has one favor to ask. Will Josslyn be her maid of honor? Josslyn hesitates, but says, yes, of course (🍷). We move to Josslyn giving Nelle a beautiful hair clip on the day of the wedding. Josslyn says it belonged to her grandmother. She gave it to Josslyn’s mom, and her mom gave it to her. She’s loaning it to Nelle. It can be her old, borrowed, and blue, but she needs it back. Nelle says, of course (🍷). Josslyn says she thought Nelle should have something that tied everything together, other than Michael and the baby. Nelle suggests they take a photo to send to Josslyn’s mom, so she can see something that will tie her to the wedding, even if she can’t be there. In the present, Jason tells Josslyn, if Nelle never came, there would be no Wiley. Josslyn says, maybe not. Wiley is worth everything.

Nelle tells Carly, she came to see them just before they moved to Tampa. Her father was excited; he’d missed Carly. Her father asked Carly to stay and spend time with the family. Carly says, that didn’t happen, but Nelle says, she heard the whole thing. Carly says, oh my God. She was there. The little blond girl was her. Nelle says, Frank wanted them to be sisters, and asked her to stay. Why didn’t she? Everything would have been different. Carly could have taken care of her, but Carly was too selfish. She didn’t care that they traveled around and moved all the time, chasing deals that never closed. They were always poor, but Carly just wanted to come to Port Charles and have a fabulous life, and that’s what she did. She left Nelle. In 1995, Frank tells Nelle to go to the kitchen and have some cereal; he’s busy. Nelle says they don’t have any, and he says, then have a cookie. Carly says she guesses Frank wanted Nelle, but has no money for her. He says, not a dime, and she says, okay. Then tell her about her birth parents.

Nina tells Jax that Valentin visited her mother in prison before she died. Her mother told him that Nina had carried the baby to term; a little girl who was given up for adoption. Jax wonders if Valentin was lying to set the groundwork for Sasha. Nina doesn’t think he did, but her mother could have been lying out of spite. She was very jealous of Nina, and the money she’d inherited. Maybe it was one last dig at her. He says she doesn’t sound convinced, and Nina says, no. She just has a feeling she can’t shake. An instinct that she has a daughter out there somewhere.

Nelle tells Carly, everything that happened was because Carly couldn’t be bothered to take care of her. What Frank said was the truth. Carly says, it’s not true. Frank never asked her to stay. He sent Nelle into the other room, and said he didn’t have any money and never wanted to adopt her. He didn’t consider Carly a daughter. He knew her mother was Barbara Jean Spencer, and knew she’d moved to Port Charles. Later, he found out Carly had moved there and had money. That’s when he began calling her his daughter. Nelle says, he kept Carly’s baby rattle, but Carly says he was probably going to pawn it, but forgot. He gave Nelle a story, twisting things so he’d look good. He sold Nelle’s kidney. He was a weak selfish man who exploited Nelle, but she doesn’t have to be like him. She can go in a different direction. Carly did. After she had Michael, she realized she could be better. Not perfect, but she could give Michael what he needed, and put him first. When she did, her life was better. Nelle can do that; put Wiley first. Nelle says, by handing him over to Michael, and Carly says, let Michael have full custody, and she’ll have visitation rights. She can build a relationship with Wiley, while Wiley stays in a home that he knows, and where he’s happy. Nelle says, happier than he’d be with her, because she can never be good enough. Carly says Nelle has a chance prove she’s good enough, and give up what she wants, so Wiley can have what he needs. Nelle says Carly wants her to give up the suit too. If Carly thinks she’s going to let get Monica and Bobbie get away with malpractice, think again. She’s going to leave the hospital bankrupt, and it’s Carly’s fault. All of it is Carly’s fault. Nelle never did anything Carly didn’t do. We flash back to Nelle telling Carly that she has an idea everyone is going to love. Whether the baby is a boy or girl, she’s going to name it Morgan. We move on to Nelle planting a scarf like Morgan’s in Carly’s office, saying, let the haunting begin, and Carly finding it, making the connection. We move to Nelle leaving Carly the note that says, find me where you left me tonight, and spraying Morgan’s cologne in the graveyard. Carly arrives there, and says she knows that smell, and calls out to Morgan. We see Nelle and Carly struggle over the baby blanket, and Nelle falling down the stairs. We move to Nelle telling Carly that Michael proposed, and saying she can call Carly mom.

Carly says Nelle sounds like Frank, and Nelle says, see you in court, sister. She leaves, and we go back to young Carly. Carly tells Frank, her mom said he handled the adoption. Who were they? He says, who knows? and she says, he does. She knows the adoption agency rejected them, but he told Virginia he could still find her a baby. He had connections; who was it? He tells her not to ask questions she doesn’t want the answer to, and she says, they can’t be worse than him. Tell her. He says he doesn’t know who her father is, and doubts her mother would know, given her profession. She was a hooker, and Carly’s father was one of her many johns. Her madam said they could adopt her for a fee. It was more than he was willing to spend, but Virginia had to have a baby. Carly asks for a name, and Frank says, what does it matter? He tells her it was Ruby Anderson’s house. Her mother was Ruby’s niece, Barbara Jean Spencer. Carly asks if he knows what happened to her, but he doesn’t. He says, given her choice of profession, he hopes Carly isn’t looking for a warm and fuzzy reunion. She tells him, go to hell, and he says don’t blame him if she doesn’t like the answers to her questions. Give his regards to Virginia. Maybe he’ll look her up. Carly says, try it, and she’ll kill him.

Michael tells Chase, Nelle is a nightmare, but she did do good. Chase says, Wiley? and Michael says, all of it. Willow loved Wiley for a year and a half when she thought he was her child, but when she found out he wasn’t hers, her love wasn’t wasted. She’s part of Wiley’s life, and that wouldn’t have happened without Nelle. We flash back to Willow sitting with Wiley in Kelly’s, and telling him that she wants to be his mother, but that’s what she wants. She knows he wants to be with the family he has; Brad and Lucas. She’d never take him away from the daddies he loves. She prays they have their own relationship, and someday when he’s old enough, and comes to her with questions, he’ll understand why she chose to leave him, because she wants his happiness more than her own. She is his mommy, and loves him with all her heart. We move to Willow asking Chase if they’re at the point where she has to check in with him to say yes to being her own son’s guardian. He asks if there’s not an app for that. He’s not surprised; she deserves to be his guardian. She obviously loves him.

Sasha says, Willow went to jail rather than admit Shiloh was Wiley’s father. Willow says, he wasn’t, but Sasha says, that’s not the point. Her instinct as a mom was to protect at any cost, and that didn’t change when she found out Wiley wasn’t her biological child. Willow says he’s at risk from a vile, selfish woman who wants to use him as a weapon. Of course (🍷) she wants to protect him. But it’s not enough to be protective. She has to do something. We flash back to Willow telling Chase that Wiley isn’t her child by birth, but she’s part of his life. He’s not Michael’s child, but Michael loves him anyway, and she doesn’t love him any less. Chase says she didn’t feel that way before; it was the exact opposite. She says she misses him so much, and Chase says, before she makes a decision, take a breath. He knows Michael is thinking about what’s best for Wiley, but he’s thinking about what’s best for her. At the hospital in the present, Sasha says Willow is the closest thing Wiley has to a mother; Nelle doesn’t count. Willow says, Wiley needs her, and she’s got to stand up for him.

Nina tells Jax, it’s not irrefutable, but it’s a custom piece, so there’s no way to trace it. He says he knows a good security firm who could retrace her mother’s movement after Nina went into the coma. She says, Valentin already did that, and Jax says just because Valentin failed, doesn’t mean he will. She appreciates it, but she’s not sure she wants to set herself up for disappointment. It’s a deep dark rabbit hole she’s already been down, and she’s not sure she wants to risk it again. Josslyn comes in, and Jax asks what she’s doing on the loose. She says she was going stir crazy at Sonny’s. One of the bodyguards drove her over. If he’s busy… Nina says, no. Josslyn’s father is distracting her from what she needs to do. Josslyn would be doing her a favor to get him out. Jax asks if he can take Josslyn to lunch, but she says she has volleyball practice. He can drive her though; the bodyguard can follow them. He says he’ll see Nina later. As they leave, he says, maybe Josslyn should drive. She says, in that case, let’s take the Porsche.

Carly goes to see Jason, who says, she just missed Josslyn. Carly asks what she was doing there, and Jason says Josslyn wanted him to promise Nelle won’t get Wiley. She asks what Jason told her, and he says he told her it was too soon for promises. They have to see how it plays out. Carly wishes he’d said tomorrow Nelle was going to magically disappear, and then made that happen.

Jason asks if Carly thinks Michael could live with that. We flash back to Carly telling Sonny that Michael will never retaliate against Nelle; not in any real way that makes a difference. That’s why they have to make the decision for him. They have to remove that psycho bitch from their lives, once and for all. We move to Carly telling Michael to let Diane crush Nelle; no backing off. No convincing himself to compromise for Wiley’s sake. Michael says, there is no compromising with Nelle. He has to win sole custody, for Wiley’s sake. In the present, Carly tells Jason that Michael is a better person than she is, and he says he thinks they’re both good people.

Jacksonville, 1996. Carly is ready to leave, when Virginia comes in. She says, good; Carly is still there. Carly says she wanted to say goodbye, and Virginia asks if she’s supposed to thank Carly; she’s still leaving. Carly says wish her good luck, and Virginia says, luck is a lie. Carly says she’d rather take the lie than be stuck there. Virginia says, thanks. She doesn’t want to fight. She loves Carly. Carly says she knows, and loves Virginia too. Virginia hopes Carly finds what she’s looking for – which isn’t money. Carly says, maybe not, but it wouldn’t hurt. Virginia says what Carly is looking for is love, and to be valued and accepted. She hopes Carly finds that, and hopes she finds someone who believes in her. Carly says she believes in herself, and Virginia says she believes in Carly, but Carly doesn’t want to hear that from her. She wants to figure it out on her own, and she will. They hug, and Carly picks up her bags. She says, here goes nothing, and leaves. In 2020, Carly tells Jason, she went to see Nelle at Crimson. It’s okay, but they had it out. Nelle unloaded her grudges, and said what she blames Carly for. At one point, Carly tried to explain how she turned her life around. How she’d been a liar, but managed to change into a halfway decent person. Jason says, more than halfway. Carly says, she told Nelle it was because of Michael, but it was also because of Jason.

Carly tells Jason, the night she showed up on his doorstep, she had nowhere else to go. he let her in, and it changed everything. She’d never had that. She should feel sorry for Nelle, and she almost does, but she’s mostly grateful to have Jason. We flash back to Carly hugging Jason, and says she can’t believe he’s there. He’s alive. She missed him so much. There’s so much she wants to tell him, and say to him. He tells her, take a deep breath, and count to ten. We move on to Carly visiting Jason in the hospital, and telling him about being pregnant with Donna. She says he has to do whatever she wants for the next seven months. He says, if that’s what she needs, they’ll figure it out. Tell him about the baby. She says she’s scared, nervous, and surprised. She never thought she’d be having another baby, but now that she knows, she’s excited. He says he’s excited for her. We move to Jason telling Carly that he would have done anything to get her out of that place; even team up with Franco. He’s sorry she got taken to Ferncliff. She says she knew he’d get her out, and he says he should have that night, but he let himself be talked into waiting. Carly says, she let herself be talked into pleading insanity. They both messed up. From now on, they trust their own instincts, especially when it comes to each other. Deal? He says, deal. She says she knew he’d come to get her, and he did. In the present, Jason says, the night Carly showed up was the best thing that ever happened to him. They hug.

Nina looks at the necklace for the 47,506th time. She flashes back to giving the other half to Sasha at Windymere. Sasha says she can’t, and Nina says, of course (🍷) she can. Obrecht says, it’s a significant gift, but Sasha says, it’s too much. Nina says there’s no such thing when it comes to Sasha. It’s not the original, but she had it made, and it fits her piece. She puts the necklace on Sasha, and says, it’s a perfect fit, just like them. We move on to Nina’s wedding, and Nina telling Sasha, all she needs to do is tell everyone she’s Nina’s daughter. Sasha says she’s sorry, but she’s not. Nina says Sasha lied to her with every beat of her heart. She doesn’t have a heart; she’s nothing. Nina pulls the necklace off of her.

Nelle goes through her trinket box, flipping through letters that were returned, and looking at Carly’s baby rattle. We see the other half of the necklace still in the box, and then a split-screen with Nina looking at it.

On Monday, Nina says, maybe she’s more like Nelle than she wants to admit; Laura meets with Valentin; and Lulu says she’s come to say goodbye to someone in jail. In Port Charles, this could be anyone.

👍🏽 This is amazingly clever. Not only are they stretching out the episodes with these flashbacks, anyone who’s home and just beginning to watch, or watching after a long time of not seeing the show, is filled in. And those of us who’ve kept up are still getting a new backstory. To top it off, we’ve gotten a possible reveal as to who Nina’s daughter is, or another layer in that mystery. I’m beyond impressed. Good job, GH!

The Real Housewives of New York City

As Sonja and Tinsley walk to a rooftop for lunch, Sonja says, guys keep trying to pick them up; ignore them. They sit down with their food, and Tinsley says Sonja was jumping on the Dorinda bandwagon. She’s acting like she doesn’t know Tinsley, and she’s not open and honest. Sonja tells her, she said Dorinda didn’t know Tinsley, and Tinsley says, Dorinda is calling her a liar. She’s saying Tinsley was still with Scott when she wasn’t. Sonja says Tinsley went on a trip with him, and Tinsley says, when they were broken up, there was no arrangement for her to get money from him. In Sonja’s interview, she says she’s heard that Tinsley and Scott have been together since they broke up. Tinsley is the only woman she knows who’s gotten clothes and bling after a break-up. Leah joins them, and Sonja says they were talking about Dorinda claiming Tinsley isn’t being truthful. Tinsley tells her, she can only say it so many times. Dorinda turned on her when she’s always been a friend. In Leah’s interview, she says, maybe Tinsley confides in her and Sonja because they don’t call her a hooker. If Dorinda treated her that way, she wouldn’t tell the bitch what she had for lunch. Tinsley says Dorinda was implying she’s not being truthful, but she’s allowed to go back and forth in a relationship. It’s her effing life. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she didn’t know she had to share every detail of her relationship with Dorinda. Leah tells them, Ramona called her, and wants her to come to the Hamptons. Sonja asks if Leah has any tattoos, and Leah says she has several, but she’s having the tramp stamp of her name removed. It was her first tattoo. Sonja asks if she had her name put there, so when she’s having sex, the guy can remember her name. In Sonja’s interview, she says she thinks tattoos are a negative thing. You’re defecating you’re body. She realizes what defecating means, and settles on defaming. And actually, I think what she really meant to say is defacing. Read a book once in a while, Sonja. She tells Leah that she never has sex with men who have tattoo. In her interview, Leah says she’s sure Sonja wouldn’t kick a young, hot guy out of bed for having an anchor tattoo.

Dorinda’s housekeeper Len helps her pack. Dorinda says, it’s a weird time for the Hamptons, since it’s hot/cold. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s good to hear that Ramona is going to be the lady of the manor, and overseeing the group. She hopes her bedroom is way upstairs, and Tinsley’s is way downstairs. I liked Dorinda in the beginning, but with each season, she works my last nerve harder.

In the Hamptons, LuAnn meets Ramona at a restaurant. While LuAnn waits at the table, Ramona stops by the bar to give a dude her phone number. In Ramona’s interview, she says she’s a born flirt. The day she doesn’t flirt, she’ll be dead. She tells LuAnn that she has a storyboard. She’d like to have a commitment, but not be married. LuAnn thinks she sounds like a serial killer. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she can’t imagine what’s on Ramona’s board. D*ck pics? LuAnn thinks the slumber party will be fun, and Ramona says she wants to bond. She has a room for LuAnn that has a separate bathroom. LuAnn says she doesn’t want to be favored. Like I believe that. In Ramona’s interview, she says she doesn’t want a repeat of the fish room, and we flash back to LuAnn’s tantrum. She tells LuAnn she made sure to give her a nice room where it’s quiet, so if Tinsley and Sonja are going crazy, she doesn’t have to hear it. She also invited Leah, and wants Dorinda to get to know her. LuAnn says she likes Leah. The first thing Leah told her is that she’d been arrested. Ramona asks, for what? and LuAnn says, assaulting a police officer; she was nineteen. Ramona says she’s sure that broke the ice and took down the barriers. In her interview, Ramona says, how many of them have gotten arrested? Of course they bonded. She’s hoping they can all come together as a group.

At Tinsley’s hotel apartment, she feeds Strawberry and Shortcake. She tells them, they were vegan at the shelter, but aren’t now. In her interview, she says she went to China to help with rescues, and had to come home with them. They speak Chinese, and she has to learn it to communicate with them. She uses a translator app to tell them, good girl. I understand this, since I once walked a dog who only understood Russian, and I had to learn several phrases.

Sonja picks up Dorinda, who’s bringing flowers and vibrators, but only three of the latter. I guess some of them will have to share? LuAnn tells housekeeper Alice that she’s headed to Ramona’s for the night. Alice asks, why? and LuAnn says, that’s a good question. Ramona prepares some food, and gives Coco a carrot. In her interview, she says Coco is all she’s got, and the dog is going deaf. This is probably a blessing for Coco. Or maybe she’s just faking Ramona out. Leah picks up Tinsley, who has some kind of throat issue, and can barely talk. Leah says Dorinda said some wild-ass sh*t about Tinsley at the party. In Leah’s interview, she says she survived an all-girls Catholic school on the Upper East Side. But this is on their turf, so she’s going to be on high alert. Tinsley croaks out that she’ll have to write things like, yeah, bitch.

In Dorinda’s interview, she says she didn’t give Leah a fair chance. Since she’s Tinsley’s friend, it’s harder not to be judgmental. There’s guilt by association. Sonja tells Ramona that Leah has tattoos everywhere. She has her name on her backside. Ramona says, this girl is gangster. Dorinda and Sonja get to Ramona’s place first, and Dorinda gifts Ramona with a frozé (frozen rosé) maker. In Ramona’s interview, she says, Dorinda gives good presents. Last year, she brought mermaid outfits; this year, a frozé machine. Dorinda says she’s excited about having a glass or nine of pinot. LuAnn arrives, and Coco pees on the hydrangeas. I’m not sure if that’s a statement.

Tinsley and Leah join the women. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, when it comes to Tinsley, it’s see no evil, hear no evil, but she can’t say speak no evil. Ramona tells Leah that she’s a guest, and has free access to everything if she’s at Ramona’s house, so make herself at home. Ramona shows LuAnn to her room, which is basically the entire finished basement. Ramona calls it the lower level, and in her interview, LuAnn says, that’s like putting her in the attic and calling it the penthouse. She’s always lowest on the totem pole when comes to rooms on vacations. The lack of consideration is mind blowing. Good Lord, it’s not that bad, and she has her own bathroom and a TV. She asks Ramona, what happened to the nicest room in the house? and Ramona tells her that she said LuAnn would have privacy. LuAnn wonders how to adjust the air conditioning, since she’s freezing, but Ramona says she can’t. She suggests a blanket, but LuAnn says she doesn’t want to sleep with air conditioning, and Ramona promises to figure it out. Ramona says she’s not surprised LuAnn and Leah bonded, since neither one of them drink, and they were both arrested. Lu Ann tries to work the TV remote in her basement private room.

On the phone, Dorinda deals with a contractor for Bluestone Manor. In her interview, she says the heating, electrical, and duct systems had to be ripped out. She’s overwhelmed, and still has to live her normal life. It seems like it never ends. Sonja asks Dorinda what’s going on, and Dorinda says she’s overwhelmed, and has to get her sh*t together. Sonja says Dorinda has a lot on her plate with the Berkshires house being flooded, and Dorinda says every day it’s another $15K. She doesn’t want to cry, but she’s doing everything, and none of it well. She wishes someone could step in and make it all better. Me too, Dorinda. me too. She says there’s nothing carefree about her anymore, and she’s not nice to anybody. Her mother said she’s wound too tight, and it’s not healthy. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels like she did after Richard died. She doesn’t know who to turn to. Sonja says, it doesn’t make John and less of a man, and Dorinda says, he’s just different. In her Dorinda’s interview, she says, John wants to be as helpful as he can, but he never had responsibilities like this. The only person she can discuss things with is herself. Sonja says Dorinda has too many balls in the air. How can she catch them all? In Sonja’s interview, she says, when Dorinda blows up, she can really rip you a new one, and she’s admitting it. LuAnn sits with them, and Dorinda says she’s having a cry. LuAnn asks, what’s the matter? and Sonja says Dorinda is spread too thin.

Leah gives Ramona a candle from Joe Malone, and Ramona loves it. She questions the sheer bucket hat Leah is wearing, as do I, although she’s surprisingly diplomatic, saying she doesn’t know if she could pull it off. She tells Leah that she was a buyer for Macy’s, and started her own company at thirty, after being on her own at sixteen. Leah says her parents threw her out at seventeen, but she deserved it. They told her to go figure herself out. She became rebellious when they moved from NYC to Connecticut when she was thirteen. She says, in hindsight, she learned perseverance, and how to deal with adversity. They join the others outside.

In Ramona’s interview, she says Leah is okay, but that hat, not so much. Leah doesn’t mind anyone criticizing her hat, as long as they don’t criticize her character. Ramona tells the women that they’re leaving for dinner at seven. She wonders how she can agree with a woman who has tattoo. In Leah’s interview, she says, it’s not like she has a penis tattooed across her forehead, or a gun tattooed on her neck. I’m kind of surprised that a bunch of New York City women are this weird about it myself. In Ramona’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what a tramp stamp is, but it doesn’t sound nice. Dorinda says if she forgets Leah’s name, she can just tell her to turn around. In her interview, Leah wonders if Dorinda ever leaves her 1% Upper East Side bubble. Dorinda says she needs a nap. When she leaves, Leah asks how Dorinda knew her name was on her back, and Sonja says she told her. Leah says she’s not having the comments. Get over it; everybody has tattoos nowadays. Sonja goes upstairs, and Ramona whines that no one is helping to clean up, so Leah and Tinsley do it, as Ramona sits with her bottle of vodka.

Leah calls her daughter, who’s had a bad first day of school. She says it’s not the same, and she hates everyone in her class. Leah tells her that she’ll have to make the best of it.  In her interview, Leah says she understands not fitting in. In school, she was the weird girl who lived downtown. That’s what she is again. She tells her daughter, it’s just the first day. See how it goes. Tinsley asks Sonja why she told Dorinda about Leah’s tramp stamp, and Sonja says she thought it was shocking and funny. Tinsley says, Dorinda is being mean, but Sonja says, Dorinda has a lot on her plate. She’s angry, and taking it out on people. Tinsley says Sonja can’t make excuses for her, but Sonja says, Dorinda is going through a rough time. Leah joins them, and says the only person making her uncomfortable is Dorinda. Sonja says, Dorinda is in a bad place, but Leah says she is too. She misses her kid, who had a bad day at school, and she’s dealing with sh*t too. In Sonja’s interview, she says she wants to be there for Dorinda. She’s in a tough place, and Sonja wants to protect her. Tinsley tells Leah to be careful talking about how she feels to Sonja, since she’ll run with it to Dorinda.

Ramona tells everyone to hurry up. Sonja relays Leah’s comments to Dorinda, and when they gather to leave, Dorinda tells Leah that she thought she was being funny. Leah says it’s her delivery, and she senses a lot of hostility. Dorinda informs her that none of them have a tattoo. In Dorinda’s interview, she says that her mother told her that people with tattoos were potential kidnappers, and she believed it. Um… my father got a tattoo in the Navy. What is wrong with these people? LuAnn joins them, and says she missed whatever was going on, and Sonja fills her in. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, good try, Sonja, but you’re not helping. Leah says she and Dorinda haven’t even talked, and Dorinda is making generalizations. Dorinda says she doesn’t know Leah, and Leah says she gets the feeling Dorinda doesn’t want to, but hopes she’s wrong. They get in the limo.

The women go to a restaurant in Sag Harbor. Sonja thinks Ramona should move to LA, since she can’t stop socializing. This is New York; act like a New Yorker. Leah orders a mocktail, and in LuAnn’s interview, she says it’s nice to have a wingman who’s confident to order a mocktail. It can be tough to be around the ladies while they’re drinking. Tinsley hopes a martini heals her voice. LuAnn makes a toast, saying this year was her roughest ever. It was like a volcano erupted, and the ashes came out. She was so busy taking care herself, she didn’t realize the ashes fell on them too. She didn’t know what to do, or how to react, and didn’t realize how much it weighed on them. It’s tough going through recovery, healing, and renewal, and she wants to make amends. She tells them how much she loves them, and says it hasn’t been easy. She thanks them, and in Sonja’s interview, she says, it’s the new and improved LuAnn. Something had to be said, since it was the elephant in the room. She’s glad LuAnn had respect enough for them to do it. They share an octopus dish, and I think about how I used to like octopus until I saw a diver playing with one, and it’s now off my things-to-eat list.

Ramona’s friend Lori calls her from inside the restaurant, and Ramona suggests she come over. Dorinda asks if Ramona is with them or elsewhere tonight. They were supposed to have dinner together, and she thinks Ramona is being rude, and should be present. LuAnn points out that Ramona’s chair is facing out, so she can look around. Ramona says it’s not like she’s an alcoholic; she just likes to be social. In her interview, she says how can she socialize too much? She’s a single woman, with no man. She needs to be social. Sonia reminds Ramona that she’d said she wanted younger friends. Dorinda says Sonja was stirring the pot this afternoon, and Sonja says Leah misunderstood her, and she wants to get to know Leah. Leah says next time, she’ll speak to Dorinda directly. In her interview, Leah says she’s not that offended. It’s not the worst thing anyone’s ever said to her, but she’s got her eye on Dorinda now. She tells them to enjoy her tramp stamp while they can, since it’s going to be gone soon, and Dorinda says, Sonja is the one who started talking about it. Sonja says that’s because she knows what it’s like to be a tramp. In Dorinda’s interview, she admits to making an unfair judgment about Leah. She holds her own, which Dorinda likes, tramp stamp and all. Ramona says she’s going to do a lap, and scope the room. In LuAnn’s interview, she thinks the whole town must have Ramona’s digits by now. Ramona is in costume; boobs out, going to war. Sonja says Ramona needs to lay up the shot, and LuAnn says, God help those men in there.

Next time, Dorinda says, only 24 hours and they got Leah to drink; Sonja says she was never a trophy wife; and LuAnn leaves Ramona’s.

👨🏽‍🍳 On Top Chef, Kelly Clarkson was introduced as guest judge. Everyone was thrilled, and she said she always gets worried about what the reaction will be when she’s a surprise. She gave the chefs a sneak peek at The Trolls World Tour, telling them the plot involves six Trolls heading musical genres, who all want to take over. The theme is inclusivity, and that everyone should be heard. She’s the voice of the head of the country Trolls. A table was set up with ingredients grouped by color, representing the six musical Troll worlds. For the Quickfire challenge, the chefs were to take an ingredient from each color, and make one cohesive dish. The winner would not only get immunity, but would also go to the red carpet premiere of the movie.

Gregory said he’d slayed the Quickfire challenges his last time around, but hadn’t gotten his momentum. Brian didn’t know what to do with the cotton candy he chose, and was eating it. When he tried to make ice cream, it exploded out of the machine. When the judges did their tasting, Padma asked if he meant for he ice cream to be curd-like, and he said that’s exactly what he was going for. No wonder his last name is Malarkey. Apparently, Gregory got his momentum, since he won for his shrimp dish. He said he was going to be taking Nini, since she’d let him use her can opener.

For the elimination challenge, the chefs would be shopping at the Santa Monica farmer’s market, where there are over 75 organic farmers selling produce. They would be split into two teams of six, and make a six-course progressive menu, each being responsible for one course, including dessert. They were being given $1200 and 45 minutes to shop, but wouldn’t know what they’d have to work with until they got to the market. Their entire menu also had to be vegetarian, and they’d be serving 40 diners at Jeremy Fox’s restaurant Birdie Gs. They were reminded that Jeremy literally wrote the book on vegetables.

A basket of trolls, courtesy of Kelly, waited for them at the house. Melissa thought it would be a challenge to be flexible, and that communication and being able to pivot were key. The market was very impressive, and while the chefs didn’t seem to have a hard time deciding what to make, there were a few monkey wrenches along the way, like Jennifer burning her cashew butter, and Lisa discovering her Brussels sprouts were inconsistently cooked.

Padma said the blue team was clearly the winner with progression, and Tom thought everything was solid all the way through. The plating was beautiful, and the menu well-executed. Melissa was the winner within the winners, and said in her interview that she was there to show she was a force to be reckoned with. The red team didn’t fare so well, the judges finding the first two courses being too raw. Brian’s mozzarella and tomato dish was something they’d felt had been seen before, and he and Leeann played the blame game over Lee Anne’s dish, as Brian had helped plate it. Lisa’s Brussels sprouts weren’t well-received either, but she tried to justify them by saying her cooking was more rustic. Tom said she could still be true to herself, yet be thoughtful and complex. He said it all depended on how far they were willing to push themselves, and they didn’t want to walk out second guessing what they’d done. In the end, Lisa packed her knives and went to Last Chance Kitchen. She said it sucked, since she had made the finale in her season, and it was something she hadn’t heard before. This was a whole other level of chefs, and hadn’t been easy.

Next time, the chefs’ loved ones join them, and they’re going to be responsible for creating their own product, which their guests will test. It also looks like an ambulance has to be called for Lee Anne’s mom.

🌈 Connecting…

Hope all is well, and you’re being productive. Or at least catching up on your TV watching. Stay safe, and see you on Sunset tomorrow.

April 8, 2020 – Nelle Wants a Magic Makeover, Figuring It Out, Early SUR Drama, Calling the Kettle Fake, Amigas Move On, Alone At Last & Be Happy

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Josslyn shows up at Jason’s place, and he asks how she got there. She says Tony drove her. She told him if he didn’t, she’d get a Ride Share. Jason says it’s not fair putting the guards in that position, but Josslyn says, it’s important. Nelle is suing GH, Monica, and Bobbie for malpractice. He needs to stop her.

Nina asks if Nelle wasn’t over the line just now with Willow. Nelle asks if Nina is going to fire her for being direct, but Nina tells her, she didn’t say that. She knows firsthand what it’s like to know a child as your own, and lose that child. Nelle says what Sasha did to Nina was terrible. Now Willow is teaming up with the Corinthoses and Quartermaines to take Wiley from her. Why should she try to be civil? Nina gets it. Willow told her about the procedure Wiley is going to need in a few months. She understands Nelle’s concerns; Wiley is small for such a big procedure, but it’s truly about the best interest of the child. Prove the naysayers wrong. Nelle asks, how? and Nina says, show everyone that she’s a good mother, and allow Wiley to have the procedure. We flash back to Nelle and Carly on the hospital roof, and Carly saying Nelle is on the verge of overplaying her hand. What if things go wrong, and she’s left empty-handed? It’s her chance to win people over to her side; her turnaround moment. Take it. Nelle doesn’t sign, and Carly locks her on the roof.

Willow joins Sasha and Michael in Sonny’s kitchen. She says they’ll never guess where she bumped into Nelle. At Crimson; she’s working there. Michael says his mom told him, and Willow asks if it doesn’t bother him that Nelle is going to look like a presentable, responsible parent with job. Nelle’s plan is to force him to share custody, and that’s what she’s doing. We flash back to Sasha saying Michael should marry Willow, and that Willow has always acted as Wiley’s mother. Why stop now?

Nina says if Nelle complies with her consent to allow Wiley to undergo the procedure, it’s sure to open up Michael to sharing custody. Everyone wins. Nelle says, it’s not enough. She wants what’s best for Wiley, but Carly isn’t going to get him. Nina says it’s her chance to prove to everyone she’s a good mother, including Wiley. Carly walks in, and says, sorry to interrupt, but she’d like a word with Nelle. Nina says, it’s not a good time, and Nelle says Carly can’t barge into her workplace like that. Carly says, it’s important. It directly affects her grandson’s health. Nina tells Carly to suit herself, and leaves. Nelle says, how dare Carly disrupt things at her workplace? She’s going to tell the court about it. Carly says she thinks Nelle will be interested in what she has to say. She’s about to give Nelle everything she’s wanted.

Chase goes to Sonny’s, and asks if it’s a strategy session on Wiley’s custody. Michael says, it’s more like a meeting of interested parties, and Sasha says they’re not making much progress. Chase says he has more bad news. Nelle is suing the hospital for malpractice, and Willow says they know. He asks if they know he’s also being deposed as a witness.

Jax sees Nina in Crimson’s reception area, and asks if she’s filling in for Nelle during her break. She guesses he could say that. Carly appropriated her office to harass Nelle. He says, Nelle deserves what she gets, but Nina says, it’s not helping. Jax says, them having to deal with Nelle is entirely his fault. We flash back to Jax admitting he’s the one who bought Josslyn’s kidney.

Carly says, Nelle wins. Nelle beat her. Carly is so used to being on top, she forget what it’s like to be outside looking in, but Nelle never lost her edge or let her down guard. She underestimated Nelle, and for that she’s truly sorry. Nelle says, that’s it? She’s sorry? After all the ways Carly hurt her, a stupid apology is going to fix it? Carly says, tell her how to fix it. How does she make amends? Tell her, and she’ll do it. Nelle tells Carly to start admitting she’s just like her.

In a memory, Eden McCoy (Josslyn) is young Carly, and Cynthia Watros (Nina with brown hair) is her mother, Virginia. Carly walks into thier apartment in Jacksonville, Florida. Virginia asks how the interview was. Carly says she was offered the job, and Virginia says she’s happy for her. It’s a nice place, and when she gets experience, she can transfer to the PT department at Jacksonville Memorial. Carly says she turned them down. She said thanks, but no thanks. She’s not staying in Jacksonville. It’s not the life she wants.

Josslyn tells Jason, Nelle tried to kill Michael, and should be in prison. She gave Wiley to Brad, and hid him from Michael, and now she wants to be his mom. Jason says, the legal system… and Josslyn says, that’s why she’s here. Jason doesn’t care about the law. He has to be the one to fix this. He asks what she wants him to do. We flash back to Nelle and Josslyn on the pier. Nelle says her baby is dead, and Josslyn believes Carly’s lies. Apparently, she’s one of Carly’s minions. Josslyn says she’s calling the police, and Nelle says, Josslyn would do that to her after what they’ve been to each other? They’re sisters. Josslyn says, Avery is her sister, and Kristina is her sister, but Nelle is a lying piece of trash who tried to sabotage her family. Nelle says she tried to open Josslyn’s eyes to Carly, but Josslyn is just like her. Josslyn says, damn right. You messed with the wrong family, bitch. Nelle says Josslyn might not be alive if it wasn’t for her. Josslyn owes her. Josslyn says, all she owes Nelle is a call to the cops. Nelle throws Josslyn’s phone, and they tussle. Nelle says, after all she’s done, Josslyn is going to regret this. Josslyn clocks Nelle. In the present, Jason tells Josslyn, he promises Nelle won’t get Wiley. He gives her his word.

Chase says he was present when Nelle learned Wiley had the procedure, and found out the consent form was missing. That makes him a material witness. Michael is sorry Chase got dragged into it, and Willow can’t believe Nelle’s vindictiveness. Michael says it’s not about Wiley or Nelle, but about his mother and Nelle trying to hurt her. We flash back to Carly saying she trusted Nelle, and every time she sang Nelle’s praises, Nelle was tightening the screws on Sonny. Drugging him, planting her bra in his bed. She can’t believe how completely wrong she got Nelle. She fell for Nelle’s angel act. She’s either one hell of a blackmailer or crazy. Back at Sonny’s, Chase tells Michael, the problem is, once again the law is on Nelle’s side.

Nelle tells Carly, let’s hear it. If she’s trash and a gold-digging psycho, so is Carly. Carly came to Port Charles to take down her mother, and got knocked up, using Michael as a bargaining chip. Michael gave Carly leverage, and was Carly’s golden ticket. Wiley is hers. Carly says, if it’s money Nelle wants, she’ll pay it, but Nelle says Carly isn’t hearing her. She wants the magic makeover Carly got. She wants everything she’s done flipped on it’s head. Carly seduced Bobbie’s husband, and it became Tony’s fault. She doesn’t want to face any consequences. She wants to be the heroine. We flash back to the first time Nelle showed up at Sonny’s house. Michael answers the door, and she says she’s there to see Carly. He says his mom is busy with a family party, and introduces himself. Michael tells Carly that Nelle is there to interview for the nanny position, but Nelle says she’s not. She saw the article in Crimson about Josslyn’s kidney transplant, and thinks she’s the donor. Carly thanks her, and says she appreciates what Nelle has been through, but before they proceed, she needs to find out if Nelle is really the donor. Is she willing to prove it? They can run some tests, and Carly will cover the expenses. Nelle says Carly thinks she’s lying. We move on to Carly saying she has the perfect job for Nelle, as her personal assistant. She’ll be working at the hotel, and learn a lot about the business, and she’ll also run personal errands for Carly. Nelle says she appreciates Carly trying to help, and Carly says, it’s not a made up job; she knows that’s what Nelle is thinking. Nelle says she has no experience, but Carly says, the job requires no formal training or education. She’ll be learning everything on the job. Then we see Nelle thanking Carly for the advance, and saying she’ll be ready to start soon. She knows she keeps saying it, but thank you. Carly says, Nelle knows she keeps saying it, but right back at her. They hug. At the Crimson office, Carly says, if that’s what Nelle wants, she’s going about it all wrong.

Virginia says, Carly is leaving Jacksonville? Where is she going? Carly says she doesn’t know yet, and Virginia says, it’s just a fantasy. Carly says, it’s very much real. She’s been thinking about this for a long time, and halfway through the interview, she knew. Virginia asks if he did something inappropriate, but Carly says, she said everyone there was family, and had been there ten to fifteen years. She can’t be someone who never moves, has the same job forever, and marries a good provider. Or worse, a loser who leaves. Virginia says, Carly doesn’t want to be her. Carly says, they’re different people who want different things. She wants to live in a big house, and wear designer clothes, and have more money than she can spend. She wants to travel. There are amazing people out there, doing amazing things, and she wants to be one of them. Virginia says she’s living a pipe dream.

Josslyn tells Jason that she doesn’t care if it makes her a bad person. She can live with it, as long as Nelle doesn’t have a chance to get Wiley. Jason promises her that Nelle won’t, but it’s too soon. She says if he waits until after the custody hearing, it will look suspicious. He asks if she thinks Nelle’s attorney is better than Diane, but she says, no. He asks if she thinks Michael isn’t as good as Nelle, and she says she doesn’t, but face it, Nelle gets away with everything. We flash back to Carly introducing Nelle to Josslyn at the hospital, and telling Josslyn that Nelle is her kidney donor. Josslyn says Nelle gave her the best gift, and they hug. We move to Nelle seeing Josslyn outside Kelly’s, and Josslyn telling her about Oscar. Josslyn says he asked her to go out, and Nelle asks what Josslyn told him, but Josslyn says she didn’t get a chance. When Nelle showed up, Oscar left. Nelle asks what Josslyn’s answer is, but Josslyn doesn’t know. Nelle asks if she doesn’t know the answer, or does, and doesn’t want to hurt him.

Chase says if Nelle’s signature was forged like she says, and Monica and Bobbie covered it up, Nelle has a cause of action. Willow says, there’s been no real harm done to Wiley; she’s just targeting Michael’s grandmothers, hoping Michael will back off, and hand Wiley over, so she’ll leave them alone. Michael says, Nelle is trying to maximize the damage, and pay back his grandmothers for rejecting her. We flash back to Bobbie catching Nelle stealing at the MetroCourt; Monica saying Nelle and Michael should get along in the best interest of the child; and Monica telling Nelle that no one has to prove a damn thing. They’ve proven it by being there, and she has colleagues who will back up her diagnosis of Wiley. Michael says, Bobbie couldn’t stand Nelle. At first, Monica was like him, and believed Nelle, but when she turned, she turned hard. Willow says, who cares why Nelle does what she does? They have to figure out how to keep Wiley safe from her.

Jax tells Nina, all Carly knew about Frank was that he’d walked out on her and her adoptive mother early on. Then one day, she got a letter; a long tale about Frank needing money. Carly threw it away, but another one came. Carly marked return to sender on it, but the letters kept coming. One came while they were waiting for Josslyn to get a kidney, and he opened it. It was a letter from a man desperate to do anything for money. He reached out to Frank, and offered him a million dollars. A few days later, Josslyn had a kidney. We flash back to Carly saying she knows Jax isn’t capable of paying a man to harvest his child’s organs, and Jax explaining what he did. He was desperate, but didn’t know Frank would take a kidney from his own daughter. Carly says, now it makes sense why Jax wanted her to drop the search. He knew where the kidney came from, and put it together when Nelle showed up. She’d assumed he talked to the parents, but she didn’t know Frank was Nelle’s father. Why didn’t he tell her that he paid Frank? He says he didn’t know Frank would use his own daughter, and Sonny says, Jax thought Frank was going to use a nameless, faceless person? Jax says he doesn’t regret what he did, and Carly says, Sonny would do the same thing for his child. Sonny says, he doesn’t have a problem with that. What he has a problem with, is what came after. We move to Jax explaining to Josslyn that did something illegal. He reached out to Nelle’s father, and offered him money to find a donor. It’s his fault Nelle came to town and wants revenge. If he’d been honest, it wouldn’t have happened. Josslyn says, it’s because of him she’s alive, and hugs him. Next, we see Michael asking how Jax pulled it off, and Jax saying, Nelle refused to say anything that would indict him.

Carly says if Nelle wants people to care, she has to give them a reason. Show who she really is, even if she’s afraid she’ll never be good enough. Nelle asks if Carly is a motivational speaker, and Carly says she’s the voice of experience. She wanted her mother to love her, and told herself that when Bobbie saw her, she would recognize her. But that didn’t happen. Bobbie treated her like the stranger she was. Bobbie didn’t mean to reject her, but that’s how she felt. She decided to take everything from Bobbie, and live Bobbie’s life better than Bobbie. Sound familiar? It’s what Nelle is trying to do to her. We flash back to Carly telling Sonny, no good deed goes unpunished. Sonny says, Nelle was working all of them. He asks Nelle, what was her goal? Michael says he’d like to know himself, and Nelle says they could start by asking her real last name. It’s Benson. It’s Carly’s last name too, but they have more in common than a last name. Carly is Frank’s daughter. In the present, Carly says, it was almost the same reason Bobbie was supposed to recognize her. Nelle asks, why didn’t she?

Virginia says, Frank left before Carly was four years old, but he was always making shortcuts and deals, waiting for a big payoff. She never minded because she had a good job, and Carly, but then Frank couldn’t deal with failure, and ran away. Carly asks if Virginia is saying she’ll fail, but Virginia tells her, she’s saying Carly is making the wrong choices. Going to Paris and Reno won’t make her happy. Carly says she’ll let Virginia know when she sees them. Virginia says, before she goes off to make her life better, she needs to figure out what is better. Carly says, maybe Frank is rich now. Virginia doubts it, and Carly says, even if he’s just ordinary, he owes her a lifetime of back child support. Virginia says, assuming he has it, which is highly unlikely, she’ll have to find him first. Carly says she knows Frank’s friend, Mr. Richardson, but Virginia says he won’t be able to tell her anything. Carly says, it can’t hurt to ask.

Willow says she’s sorry; that was uncalled for. Sasha says Willow is just saying what they’re all thinking. Michael says if he had a magic wand, or there was on specific action he knew would work, he’d take it in a heartbeat, but that’s not how it works. Willow can’t believe how little Nelle cares for her own son. We flash back to Jason telling Michael that they have to make a plan, and Michael saying he can do what Nelle can’t; play by the rules. He can afford the best lawyers, and Nelle was just arrested for assault and violated her parole. But in the meantime, she can request supervised visits. Jason says they can’t plan on things going right, and have to figure out what to do if they go wrong. All they know, is Nelle gave Wiley to Brad, and if she gets a sympathetic jury and walks, what does he think will happen? In Sonny’s kitchen, Willow says she’s not doing any good there, and she has to get back to the hospital. She jets, and Chase says he’ll go with her, but Sasha says, let her. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a girl. Chase asks Michael if he’s worried about Willow. He sure as hell is.

Jason tells Josslyn, Nelle’s power lies in her getting people to believe what she wants them to. She got Michael to believe she loved him, and Josslyn to believe she was a friend. She got Brad to believe he could steal Wiley to make Lucas happy. Nelle didn’t make Brad take the baby; it was his choice. He had the power to step up and do the right thing. Nelle wasn’t in charge of him, and she’s not in charge of the custody hearing. She’ll try to get the judge to believe her story, but odds are, they won’t. The facts are on Michael’s side. We flash back to Josslyn telling Michael, Wiley is lucky to have him as a dad, but it’s unfair how much time Wiley was separated from him. Michael tells her they can’t be angry or sad about what happened, and Josslyn asks if he thinks they survived the shooting to lead them to this. Michael says he doesn’t know, but he realized you have to take life in both hands, and not let go.

Jax tells Nina, he had no idea Frank was going to use his own daughter. He didn’t want to know anything. He just wanted his daughter to live, and committed a morally reprehensible act that he should have paid for. Instead, Carly and Michael did, and Nelle didn’t. It seems like Wiley will pay now. We flash back to Carly seeing Jax after Sonny had him detained. Jax says he cut a deal, and has to leave the country never to return. At Crimson, he tells Nina that he’s questioned himself a million times, mostly in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep, or when he’s watching Josslyn live her life; his beautiful, healthy daughter. All he knows is, he hates what he did, but he can’t regret the outcome. Nina says, he compromised himself to save his daughter. No doubt she’d do the same thing if she had a daughter to save.

Nelle says, Carly should have known her, and welcomed her sister. Carly says, they’re not… related. Nelle says Carly can’t even say the word. Sisters. No matter how much Carly wishes it wasn’t true, they have the same father – Frank. Carly says, Frank isn’t her father. He married her adoptive mother, and ghosted them before she even knew him. She only met him once. She tracked him down in Miami, trying to get a fraction of the child support he owed her. Nelle says Frank wasn’t Carly’s father until she needed money. Carly says she didn’t get a dime, and didn’t know Nelle was Josslyn’s kidney donor. She didn’t even remember Frank had a daughter. Nelle says, that’s a lie. Carly knew. She was there.

Tomorrow, Willow says, it’s not enough, and she has to do something; Jason says, without Nelle, there’s no Wiley; and Nelle says Frank had asked Carly to stay with them.

🐎 Digging Deeper…

Figuring out the riddle that is Westworld

https://www.gamespot.com/gallery/westworld-season-3-14-clues-you-may-have-missed-in/2900-3445/?ftag=NLS-04-10aaa1d

🍸 Digging For Dirt…

This is old news, but something I hadn’t heard about, and this page has a lot of fun VPR discussion.

https://www.reddit.com/r/vanderpumprules/comments/eljx61/new_cast_member_arrested_at_vpr_premiere_party/

Apparently, they don’t know how to use Google though.

https://pagesix.com/2020/01/08/new-vanderpump-rules-cast-member-causes-ruckus-at-premiere-after-party/

💃🏾 You Twirl, Girl…

I haven’t really been keeping up on this show, but I always enjoy a Kenya story. I know it’s been years, but I still can’t get over that Portia thought the Underground Railroad was an actual railroad.

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/porsha-williams-reacts-kenya-moore-fake-comments?cid=soc_tw_Bravo_Dish

🍊 The Thirst Thickens…

That didn’t take long. Fortunately Unfortunately, they can’t move ahead with anything further than an idea right now.

https://hollywoodlife.com/2020/04/04/tamra-judge-new-show-vicki-gunvalson-returning-rhoc/

🐼 Panda Love…

Because people finally stopped staring at them every time they tried to do it.

https://www.mic.com/p/after-10-years-without-sex-two-giant-pandas-finally-got-it-on-in-empty-zoo-in-hong-kong-22767457

🛣 Staying the Course…

Every time I hear a politician say that, I hear Dana Carvey imitating George Bush. Well, if nothing else, now would be the perfect time to make that Pinterest fail lamb cake I’ve been dreaming about. Stay safe, socially distant, and try not to think of pink elephants. (Caught you already.)

April 3, 2020 – GG Explains It All, Reversal Of Karma, a Break-Up, Teresa’s Loss, Free ‘N’ Fun, Ten Quotes For Quarantine & I Wanna

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Shahs of Sunset

Destiney meets sister Cat for breakfast. In Destiney’s interview, she says Cat is everything to her. She’s strong, independent; a mother, sister, and father-like figure. They’re so close, and even did People’s Couch together. I loved that show! Destiney says she’s trying to get everything out of her head, and Cat thinks things should be brought down a notch. In her interview, Destiney says she doesn’t get the accusations that she planned the bullsh*t between Reza and Ali. She tells Cat, she isn’t getting respect from the people around her, and Cat says, then Destiney doesn’t need them walking with her on her journey. She asks how Destiney’s dating life is going, and Destiney says she went to Vegas, and was catching a vibe with Sara’s brother. They ended up making out. Um… I think it was more than that. She says she’s been dealing with Sara’s drama, and feels bullied. Cat asks if she cares about Sam, and Destiney says part of her is vibing with him, but it’s complicated. It’s driving her crazy. In her interview, she says no one is going to tell her who she can or can’t date. Cat says they have to live life like it’s their last day. She and Destiney high-five.

GG and Sara meet to visit a Reiki master. GG sees a dead bee, and tells Sara, an animal shaman told her that her spirit animal was a bee, and she wonders if it’s a sign. Reiki master Romeo says he’s going to go through her chakras to determine the trauma to her body and soul. In GG’s interview, she says she believes in different forms of healing energy, and hopes this will give her an answer as to why this happened (referring to her miscarriage). She tells Sara that the remaining embryo and placenta is stuck right now. They gave her injections of something to make it dissolve and go away, but that hasn’t happened. Sara says, it’s a lot. In her interview, GG says she’s been pregnant a few times. She’s put her body through so many things. Is this her karma for taking advantage of her body? She believes in walking energy, and that some people have the skill to gather and move energy, and locate where the body needs healing, giving their energy to you. Romeo has both of them close their eyes, and invite his energy in. Afterwards, GG lies down, and Romeo’s hands hover over her. He says her chakras are open. GG asks if she should pursue the things in her mind, or do they need to take a backseat? Romeo says he’s going to ask spirit real quick, and concentrates. He tells her, basically, there’s a lot of positivity in the next three months. In her interview, she says it will take three months for her to heal from the medications she’s been given. He says a shift is going to happen in that time, and GG says, it makes sense.

Reza calls Nema from the car, and Nema tells him, the more he talks to MJ, the more it makes sense that there’s no crazy ulterior motive. He suggests Reza sit and talk. Reza says Nema and Mike have drunk the Kool-Aid, and are being messy. In Mike’s interview, he says MJ was a pawn, and he wants to be done with this foolishness. Reza says, if they want to be friends with MJ, why don’t they crawl up her ass? Nema says, he just wants them to talk, but Reza doesn’t want to. He has a legal case against MJ’s husband, who vandalized his house. He doesn’t want to put himself in harm’s way with her criminally violent husband. In Reza’s interview, he says Nema is only worried about how it’s going to affect himself. He wants to be in the mix, and is just making it worse. He tells Nema, stay out of his business. He doesn’t need help. He hangs up while Nema is still talking.

Nema meets Shervin at a martial arts studio. In Nema’s interview, he says he studies Jiu-Jitsu. Persians don’t have a combat sport, and the only belt Shervin has is Gucci. Their defense system is lawyers and an American Express card. They go through some exercises, and then do a few rounds of what looks similar to wrestling, where Shervin gets the upper hand. In his interview, Nema says Shervin is able to disable and disarm him with his disgusting body hair and sweaty palms, bringing on Nema’s gag reflex. Shervin asks if Nema is really going with the gag reflex defense, and Nema tells him that he’s really gross. They sit down, and Nema says he likes this because it checks his ego. He spoke to Reza, and Reza made it a screaming match. In Nema’s interview, he says when Reza claims Nema is meddling from a place of self-interest, that says his marriage is falling apart, and he’s blaming everyone and anyone around. He tells Shervin, for Reza to risk their friendship shows a disassociation with himself. No matter how tough Reza pretends to be, he thinks Reza is hurt.

Mike brings flowers to his mom Sue. He, Sue, and dad Shawn sit down in front of the traditional tons of food for any and every occasion. Mike asks what they think of Paulina, and after a long pause, Sue says, she looks like a good girl. Mike says it’s the first time he’s dating a Persian girl, and the first time he’s dating a Jewish girl. Why don’t they look happy? In Mike’s interview, he says his parents don’t feel he’s capable of a long term relationship. We flash back to Mike’s failed marriage with Jessica. Sue tells him to take his time. When he hurts, all of them hurt, and they want to make sure he doesn’t do it again. She asks how the progress is with the project. Maybe Mike should sell the permits and plan, and get out; the land is worth a million. Mike says, why make two million when he can make five or six? In his interview, Mike says his mom feels that he’s in over his head with the project. Sue says, it’s going to be two years of hard work. Maybe he’s better off getting out. Shawn tells him to make someone an offer they can’t refuse.

MJ and Tommy go to see a therapist. In MJ’s interview, she says Tommy is normally funny and lighthearted, but now he’s heartbroken, thinking about how he almost lost her. We flash back to Tommy weeping over MJ’s near death experience. She says, they’ve come there to heal. There’s no reason for this bullsh*t in their lives. Dr. K’harja says she’ll start with Tommy, and asks why he’s there. He says he’s had a tough go of it since MJ had the baby. They couldn’t remove the placenta, and it was terrifying. MJ says she knows it has something to do with Tommy’s mother dying. He says he became an angry kid, and got in a lot of trouble. K’harja says the aftermath has the potential to dredge up old stuff again. She brings MJ into the conversation, and in her interview, MJ hopes Tommy will be back to his old self in short order. She wants solutions, and wants to know what they need to be for each other. K’harja asks what MJ’s experience is, and MJ says, having a baby is stressful, but this is another level. K’harja says it’s critical that Tommy get support for his PTSD. MJ says as soon as she woke up, she started making jokes. Culturally, they’re supposed to be strong and move on. In her interview, she says she and Tommy couldn’t be more different. If they don’t have the tools to heal each other, it could poison their marriage past the point of no return. K’harja says, sadness turns to anger if it sits too long. In trying to communicate and support each other, Tommy needs to say he just wants her to listen or he needs a minute. In MJ’s interview, she says she loves Tommy with all her heart, and he deserves to feel that, even if she’s not saying it in the moment.

Reza takes Adam along to buy a car for his mom. Adam says, what if she doesn’t love it? but Reza says he bought her the last car, and she loved it. In his interview, he says his dad left his mom broken, and she did everything she could to give her children the best life. She made so many sacrifices, a car is literally the least he could do for her. He used to car shop with Mike. We flash back to Mike and Reza at a dealership, and Reza telling Mike to act like he doesn’t have money. With the bullsh*t in Arizona, and Mike going to Vida’s retirement party, he’s blocked Mike and Shervin on his on phone, Twitter, and Instagram. Nothing good can come from them trying to fix things.

Mike goes to the development project, and in his interview, he says, it’s hard. He’d love to have his best friend there to help, like when they were building his house. Unfortunately, Reza is mad that Mike’s not siding with him enough, and he doesn’t hate MJ enough on Reza’s Richter scale of hatred.

Reza sees a car coming in on a truck. The kind of truck I hate to be near on the highway, because I’m always afraid one is going to come loose and fall off. He asks how much it is, and the dealer says, $40K. Reza says he wants that one.

Mike meets with real estate broker Jordan. In his interview, Mike says his mom is strongly urging him to sell, but he doesn’t like playing it safe. Jordan tells him the property is worth $2-2.5 million, and in Mike’s interview, he says it’s not worth enough to sell, but now he has to get his mom off his back, and develop it. He thinks it will be worth $10-15 million when he’s done. There are a lot of naysayers and doubters, like Reza, but the reality is, he’s doing it. Jordan asks if he knows what he’s getting into, and Mike says he’s going to fake it until he makes it.

GG is in the ER. She asks Fatima if everything went okay, and Fatima says, everything is good. In GG’s interview, she says she was in a lot of pain on her way home. She went to the hospital, and they did surgery, taking both of her fallopian tubes. She can never get pregnant the natural way. She asks if she’ll be okay, and Fatima says she will. GG is glad it’s over. In her interview, she says she’s been pregnant too many times by accident. To never be able to get pregnant again is karma, and what she deserves for the life she’s led for so many years. She asks if she peed on herself during surgery, and Fatima laughs.

In the car, Shervin tells Mike, the weather is weird, and everyone is bipolar. GG texted him, asking how much she needed to pay him to keep her name out of his mouth. Mike says, GG had complications with a pregnancy, and explains GG had an ectopic pregnancy, and they had to remove her fallopian tubes, but she’s going to try again. He doesn’t understand how she can, and in his interview, Mike describes IVF as a sperm and an egg being put in the vagina, since he apparently doesn’t know exactly where babies are formed, and that you don’t necessarily need fallopian tubes. Shervin tells him, the uterus doesn’t go backward.

GG smokes some weed. The doorbell rings, and it’s Nema. GG says she’s in a lot of pain, so Nema answers the door when Destiney arrives. She tells GG that she knows eventually GG will be okay, and she’ll allow herself to heal, and be in the moment. In GG’s interview, she says, it’s the new her. She’s not angry with world for everything that happens to her anymore. Destiney is wearing a sexy nurse outfit, and GG says she must have died and gone to heaven. Destiney says she’s Nurse Rose, and has brought goodies. She gives GG a fancy domino mask, a feather boa, and prunes, just in case. GG says she went all out.

Mike tells Shervin, everyone was on the text, and Shervin wonders if Reza will show. In Shervin’s interview, he says they went to Vida’s party, and because they chose to be supportive of her retirement, Reza threw a tantrum, took his toys, and left the sandbox. He doesn’t want to play now. Reza talks to other people who have said and done as much, and says they’re friends. He tells Mike, he doesn’t like that Reza made them choose a side, and doesn’t give a f*** what happened. If you don’t stop something like that in its tracks, it continues, catches speed, and there’s no stopping it. In Mike’s interview, he says, Reza has known them both for years, and has hurt him in many ways, but he’s learned to forgive. Shervin says, all the weight of the tension is falling on them, and Mike says they need to learn to forgive each other.

Tommy takes out a new seat, and MJ tells him to clean up the mess, since Polina is coming over. In Tommy’s interview, he says Polina was a friend from many years back, and she’s a sharp-tongued hard-nosed lawyer, who takes no bullsh*t. He tells MJ, that he’s shocked there’s no spread of food to give Polina, since it’s the Persian way. MJ wonders if she can give Polina a diaper, but quickly makes a chartcuterie board. In her interview, she says Tommy has two cases to deal with; one civil, and one criminal. Because Reza called the cops, he’s been charged with vandalism, which is criminal. Reza also filed a restraining order, which is a civil case. The fact that Tommy has to retain an attorney is ridiculous. She says she didn’t sue when Reza damaged her sofa while he was painting her condo. Because that’s so much the same thing.

The Shahs, minus MJ, gather at GG’s place. I wonder where the damn food is. In GG’s interview, she says she wants her friends to know what happened. She hopes they wake up and realize the issue with MJ is minute, compared to bigger issues, like what she went through. She explains that she was pregnant, and it was an ectopic pregnancy. Only 1% of IVF patients have that happen. Everyone is in shock, and she says she got injections to make it dissolve, and her pain was really bad. It can kill a person, so they went in and removed both of her fallopian tubes. Now she can never get pregnant naturally. It is what it is. Everyone gets teary, and she says, it happened so fast, before she was able to… She starts to cry, and says, before she could appreciate being pregnant, she lost part of her reproductive system. That’s what made her realize a lot of this needs to stop between them. She believes it’s karma. Shervin is closest to her, and when she was going in to surgery, she expected to see him. He says he’s sorry, and wishes he’d been there. She says, everybody is going through sh*t, and she wants someone to do something at this point.

Nema says Reza’s comments about him sharing the dynamic affected him massively, and Mike says Reza blocked him because he didn’t chose a side. Reza says there was no compassion and insight to how he was feeling, and Mike was looking at it from the opposite angel. Mike says, you’re either with MJ or Reza, and Nema says he’s invested in them both, and wanted to see two friends come together. If he overstepped, he apologizes. Reza says, it made things ten times worse, and made him angrier. He had to take a moment. The intentions are pure, but he can’t talk right now. He could get in a better place with MJ if he wasn’t hearing the noise. He was in a dark place, and none of them knew what he was going through. Mike says Reza is making it sound like no one has sympathy. MJ was crying, and saying she effed up, and Ali better tun if Mike sees him, but Mike didn’t do anything to Reza. Reza says he needed a hug, and to be understood, but was left in pain, while Mike kept harping on MJ being his friend for thirty years. GG tells them that they can’t talk over each other. They’re individuals who all need to be heard. Mike says he’s supported Reza throughout their entire friendship, and Reza has done the same.

In Mike’s interview, he says there have been so many times he was having trouble, and Reza told him what he needed to hear. We flash back to Reza telling Mike that he sucks at being a husband, and Mike says, now he’s done the same because of what he learned from Reza, and he’s the bad guy. Reza says he was talking emotionally, and trying to explain how isolated he felt. Mike says Reza insisted he was either with him or MJ. GG says they deal with things the same way every time; deal with it differently. Reza says he was never mad at them. He gets irrational when he feels like he’s under attack and hurt. He was very alone and isolated. He’s an accountable person, and said disgusting vial things because he was hurt. He could have done it differently, but he was stupid, and wants to apologize. He put everyone in the position that they had to choose between two people they care about, and he didn’t mean to.

Tommy asks Polina, what if Reza decides to drop the charges? and she says the restraining order is in Reza’s hands. MJ says, Reza needs to come to his senses, and Polina says, if he does, it will be thrown out, but the criminal charges are up to the judge. It could be either a misdemeanor or a felony, if it’s over $400 in damage. In MJ’s interview, she can’t believe over $400 is a felony. Polina says, it’s not as light an offense as they thought. Tommy says, it’s all bullsh*t, and asks what the worst case is. Polina says he could spend time in county jail. In her interview, MJ says, all this mess could have been avoided if Reza hadn’t called the cops over broken pottery. Oh, okay. I guess it couldn’t have been avoided if Tommy hadn’t broken the pottery in the first place. Tommy says he has to take responsibility, and in MJ’s interview, she says it’s a nine inch nail in their friendship and family. It’s over.

Mike says, dirty sh*t happened, and they all stepped outside of their norm. Shervin, Mike, and Reza have a three-way hug. In Reza’s interview, he says he feels better now. Clearly, he needs to apologize to MJ. Maybe they can form a new relationship and friendship from ground zero. Reza tells them, after the hug, he never needs to wear cologne again.

Next time, Destiney and GG get injectables, Reza and MJ meet, and GG needs an ambulance.

💫 Karma Reversed…

I’m pleased to say, things did work out for GG.

https://people.com/parents/shahs-of-sunset-golnesa-gharachedaghi-having-a-boy-named-elijah/

💃 Amigas No More…

I guess it was hard to keep it going after two of them were fired.

https://betches.com/the-tres-amigas-of-rhoc-are-officially-over/

😥 The Hits Keep Coming…

Sadly, Teresa’s father passed away. It’s unclear from what, but he’s been unwell for some time, and had pneumonia not that long ago.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1137356/real-housewives-of-new-jersey-s-teresa-giudice-mourns-the-death-of-her-dad-giacinto-gorga

🙆🏻 Free Things To Do While Self-Isolating…

Movies and TV shows.

https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/hbo-free-streaming-to-stay-at-home-47366120

Zoo tours.

https://www.popsugar.com/pets/virtual-zoo-tours-47362760

And who doesn’t want to hear LeVar Burton read to them?

https://comicbook.com/startrek/2020/04/01/star-trek-levar-burton-reads-live-twitter-coronavirus-quarantine/

📣 Quotes of the Week

Don’t believe every stupid thing you think. – Dr. Daniel Amen

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.Mark Twain

Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution. – Albert Einstein

Integrity is doing what is right and truthful, and doing as you say you would do. Roy T. Bennett

The queen doesn’t rage text. – Andy Cohen after James Kennedy blamed his nasty texts on being British.

Keep a light, hopeful heart. But expect the worst. – Joyce Carol Oates

The future is uncertain, but that can be a good thing. – Jennifer Niven

The past is made out of facts. I guess the future is just hope. – Isaac Marion

Let’s f*** sh*t up is my legal middle name. – Juggernaut (voiced by Ryan Reynolds), Deadpool 2

🤷🏻‍♀️ What’s a Weekend…?

There are never any days off for me, but I’m sure it’s weird for a lot of people when Saturday is just like Monday. Remember, this too shall pass. Everything in life is temporary, even life itself. Well, maybe not if you’re one of The Walking Dead. See you then, and in the meantime, stay safe out there.

April 2, 2020 – Doc Visits Cyrus, Soap Changes, NYC Minus Bethenny, Artistic Chefs, Chef Quote, Juicy Joe Passes the Time, Cabaret Drama & Almost Two

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

I’ve consistently missed the beginning of the show every day this week, so why end the week any differently? <sigh> Sonny is taking Mike for a walk in the hallway, Molly has shown up to confront Jordan about TJ, and Doc pays Cyrus a visit.

On the phone Robert says, there’s nothing to be happy about, but the law doesn’t give them many choices. Laura says, that didn’t sound good, and he says, the information is going to be sent to Cyrus’s lawyers, who will ask for a writ of habeas corpus. Then a judge will look at it, and Cyrus walks. Laura says, that’s completely unacceptable. She won’t have that monster roaming free on the streets of Port Charles. He asks how she plans to stop him, and she says, watch her.

Sonny tells Mike, he’s got him, and Carly says they can come back. Brando says he just wanted to thank Mike for the summer at the track. He was ten years old, and obsessed with horses. Mike told him it ran in the family. Carly says, that sounds like Mike, and Mike says, Brando. Glady’s son. He remembers. Is Brando passing through? Carly says, Sonny is helping Brando open a garage in Port Charles. Mike says, good, and Sonny says, Brando is a nice guy. Brando says it was nice of Mike, and Mike says he appreciates him stopping by. He’s a little tired, so can Brando come by again some other time? Brando says he’d like that, and Carly tells Mike to get some rest. They’ll be there. Sonny walks Mike back to his room, and says it was a nice surprise visit. Mike says he doesn’t know Brando.

Curtis gets that Molly is upset, but it’s out of their hands. It’s time to accept it’s out of hers. TJ is a grown man, and taking time for himself. If the situations were reversed, TJ would respect her privacy. Molly says she’d make sure someone got a message to TJ, and not completely shut him out. Curtis says they don’t like how TJ is handling it, but it’s time they were all patient. She says she’s done being patient. TJ completely ghosted her, and is ignoring her texts and calls. She knows he’s disappointed, but this is vindictive and mean. Jordan says they don’t know where he is, and Molly says TJ is responding to Jordan, and asks if she’ll give him a message. She’s tired of the cold shoulder. They’re better than this, and they need to talk. Jordan says she’ll give TJ a message, but can’t guarantee when he’ll get back to Molly. Molly says Jordan knows how much she loves TJ, and Jordan says, she does, but right now, love isn’t enough. Molly says she’ll give TJ 24 hours, and then she’ll start a search herself. She’ll get Sam and Spinelli to help, and she’ll take out an ad in The Invader; have you seen this man? Jordan tells her to stop acting like a child.

On the phone, Laura tells someone she wants it as soon as possible. Robert asks if she’s going to keep him in suspense, or tell him. She says she’ll tell him when the time is right, and he says he hates being blindsided. She says Mac is out following leads on the warehouse and waterfront shootings, hoping they find something that ties it into Cyrus. Robert says, it’s more likely they won’t be able to, and Laura saysm the goal is to keep Cyrus locked up long enough to find evidence to make the charges stick. He says, suppose she succeeds? They know Cyrus can run his operation from behind bars. Laura says she told him that she wants to keep Cyrus locked up, but not in Pentenville.

Cyrus says, they brought in a shrink to get inside his head? Let him help Doc. No, he didn’t like to pull the wings off of flies. Doc says, but he did it anyway? Cyrus says they both know that’s not what he means, and Doc asks, what does he mean? Cyrus asks if this is how it’s going to go, and Doc says Cyrus’s first impulse was to insist he didn’t do something he thought Doc might ask about. Why that specific question? Cyrus says it’s what people like him ask, and Doc says, people like him; psychiatrists? Cyrus says, no, Methodists. I see we have another comedian behind bars. Doc says he’s interviewed many criminals like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, everyone wants to see what makes him tick. Why is that? Doc says he read Cyrus’s file. Cyrus says, and Doc has a fascination with him. Doc says, not necessarily fascination, and Cyrus says, but at least a healthy interest. He’s sure Doc has somewhere else he could be, but here he is. Doc says Cyrus’s second assessment was correct; an interest, not a fascination. Doc says he’s interviewed a lot like of men like Cyrus, and Cyrus says, but Doc has never met anyone like him.

Sam tells Jason that Spinelli followed Delores to her rendezvous. She’s having an affair with a councilmen, but they caught Spinelli taking pictures. Jason asks if it was in a hotel or motel, and Sam says, in the back of her car. Not the most discreet, but Delores threatened to arrest and charge Spinelli if he didn’t keep her secret. This also made it worse for Sam. Now Delores is determined to find something that will get her ass thrown back Pentenville. Jason says it’s time to stop looking for a way out; she was lucky she wasn’t thrown back in. She says her mom said the same thing, and he says she’s got to listen. If she thinks waiting is bad, it will be worse if she has to finish the rest of her sentence back in prison. Sam says they won’t see each other for a year and half. Is that what he wants? He says, no, but that’s what has to happen to keep her out of prison.

Mike tells Sonny, they’re trying to get one over on him, pretending they’re family. He needs Sonny to do something. Tell his boss that he needs to have security keep an eye on those two. Whoever they are, they’re up to no good.

Brando asks Carly if Mike is always like that, and she says, pretty much. She’s glad Mike recognized him, and he says, him too. That summer at the track is a good memory. She says, as Mike slips away, it’s important to remember the man he was. He says, Sonny is patient with him, and seems devoted. She says, when Mike was first diagnosed, Sonny worried that he couldn’t handle it, and couldn’t do what Mike needed. She never had any doubt. Family is everything to Sonny.

Molly says, it’s not being childish to want answers, but Jordan say she’s behaving like brat. Because TJ isn’t talking to her, she wants to call TV stations. She needs to get over it. She doesn’t want to see that her actions have consequences. She broke TJ’s heart, and he doesn’t want to be with her.

Doc tells Cyrus, that’s an intriguing statement. Does Cyrus think he’s more dangerous than other prisoners? Cyrus asks if that’s what Doc would like him to think, and Doc says he wants to know what Cyrus thinks. Is he more dangerous, or more of a threat? Cyrus tells Doc, he said he was more interesting, and Doc says, so he’s not dangerous? Cyrus says, he didn’t say that. Doc writes something, and Cyrus asks if Doc thinks he’s got him figured out. Doc says he’s documenting Cyrus’s veiled threat. When he asked if Cyrus was more dangerous, he refused to confirm it. Cyrus says, Doc thinks that’s a threat? and Doc says, a veiled one. It’s like when someone says, nice car. It would be a shame if something happened to it. Cyrus says, if he threatens Doc, he’ll know it. Cyrus wonders if he can ask Doc a question, and Doc says, of course (🍷); ask away. He asks if Doc could be perceiving an innocuous statement as a threat because of a manifestation of his own insecurities. Doc says, touché. He bets Cyrus is an excellent chess player. Cyrus says he never loses. Doc says, it’s been insightful, and thanks him. Cyrus says Doc never told him why he’s there. Doc says he’s doing a study about men behind bars, specifically solitary confinement. He’s been speaking to a lot prisoners. Cyrus has been helpful. Cyrus says, Doc’s name is Collins? Doc says, it’s a common name, but Cyrus probably recognizes it because his wife is the mayor. Cyrus says, Laura. She’s the reason he’s in solitary. Doc says, is she? Cyrus says, be sure to send his regards, and Doc leaves.

Trina tells Ava, after her dad died, Jordan went back over the files, and says her dad faked evidence. She told the Justice Department, and they’re going to let Cyrus out of prison. Ava says, that’s unlikely; it would be a major reversal. Trina says she doesn’t know the legal term, but her father is dead, and Cyrus is going to be out. How is that justice? The media is going to trash her dad, when he’s not a bad cop. Her father was a good man. Ava says she didn’t have a chance to know him, but from what Trina has said, she bets there’s only one person whose opinion mattered to him – Trina’s.

Jason takes Sam’s hands. He says it doesn’t matter how much they hate this. What’s important is she’s free, and home safe with the kids. She says, of course (🍷) it’s important, but so is finding a way to be together. He asks if it’s worth the risk? Her chance of going back to prison is worse than ever, especially now. She asks, what’s going on? and he says, Cyrus is attacking Sonny on all fronts. Out here, he can make sure she’s protected, but if she goes back, she’ll be in the middle of a war zone. Is Pentenville a co-ed prison?

Sam says she thought Sonny was handling Cyrus, and Jason says he’s working on it. It’s tough. Cyrus is powerful, and has a lot of people. Sam asks what that means, and he says, Sonny and Cyrus handle things differently. There are things Sonny won’t do that cross the line, and there’s no line Cyrus won’t cross. No one is off limits. Sam says she knows. He kidnapped Cameron and Trina, and used them as leverage. He says, they weren’t the only ones. Cyrus has TJ Ashford.  

Brando tells Carly, he mostly focused on the horses, but he got the impression that Mike and Sonny weren’t close. Mike was sorry for that. Carly says, if Mike hadn’t gotten sick, Sonny would have been okay with the distance. They both would have, but with Alzheimer’s, the distance isn’t up to them. You have to fight for every single moment. Brando says he doesn’t think he could do it, and Carly prays he never had to find out what it’s like. Sonny wanted to make peace with Mike before he slips away. Brando says, as much as he wasn’t happy at first about them keeping him there, he has to admit, it’s been good to connect with family. Carly says they enjoy having him there, even though they’re taking time to get to know him. Brando needs to get back to the shop, and Carly says she’s good. He leaves, and someone with very LOUD shoes goes by. Sonny comes back, and says he just left his dad. Mike doesn’t know who Brando is.

Ava tells Trina, nothing and no one can tarnish the love her father had for her. He’s her hero, and that’s all that matters. In a way, Taggert is Ava’s hero too. Trina says Ava didn’t know him, but Ava says she knows Trina. Her father saved her. He put his love for her above everything else, even his own life. That’s the true test of a hero and parent, putting everything aside for their child. Trina wishes there had been some other way, and Ava says she knows how important it is for Trina to keep her father on a pedestal. Trina says she didn’t put him there; it’s just where he always was. He was always a hero to her.

Molly tells Jordan, her not wanting to get married to anyone has nothing to do with how much she loves TJ. Jordan says, maybe not, but TJ gave her his heart and life, and she threw it back in his face. He got the message. She made a choice that served her, and didn’t care about TJ’s feelings. Molly says, that’s not true, and Jordan says Molly could have fooled her. Molly says Jordan made her point, and Jordan says, has she? Before Molly launches a search, remember TJ didn’t leave; she pushed him away. Molly says she’s got it. She never expected to break up with TJ, and she sure didn’t expect him do it through his mother. She leaves, and Jordan leans against the door. She tells Curtis, she had to do it. She had to stop Molly from searching. Curtis says, it will be okay, and she says she prays it worked.

Sonny tells Carly, his dad was scared. He thought Brando was going to hurt him. He wants Sonny to tell his bosses to beef up security. Carly says she’s so sorry, and Sonny says he’s got to go tell his dad that his boss is getting more men. He laughs, and she asks if there’s anything she can do to help? He says she’s done a lot already, and thanks her.

There’s a knock at the garage door, and Brando opens it to Molly. He says they’re closed, and she says, of course (🍷). It’s that kind of day. She guesses she’ll have to call a tow. She drives a hybrid, since it’s better for the environment. He asks what she hit, and she says, nothing; she went over a curb. The undercarriage is making a grating noise, and she doesn’t want to wreck the engine. He asks if there was any chance she was drinking, and she says she wishes; she’s totally sober. He asks if any other cars were involved, and if she needs the police, but she says it was just her. Sorry to bother him. She should have called a tow to begin with since the garage was closed. He says, on second thought, he’ll check it out.

Laura asks how it went, and Doc tells her, as expected. Cyrus is a narcissist. He made a subtle, veiled threat when his pride was hurt. He took exception to Doc minimizing how dangerous he was. She asks if they can lock him up, and Doc says, he’s sane. Under ordinary circumstances, he’d be opposed to that, but he has no problem recommending that he be moved to a psychological facility under medical supervision. Robert comes in and asks if that’s the plan. Laura asks how much he heard, and he says, enough to know it’s not going to work. Laura says she can have Cyrus transferred to Ferncliff, and Robert asks, for how long? She says they can keep him long enough for an extensive evaluation. Long enough to come up with a fresh case against him. Robert says Cyrus’s lawyers are going to take one look, and see it’s a ploy to keep Cyrus behind bars. Laura says she’ll argue that she wants him to get the care he needs. Robert says, and Doc will argue that it’s in his best interest. Doc says, exactly, and Laura says she’s not above doing what she has to, to keep Cyrus off the street, including having him committed. Robert says, it’s not going to work.

Mike recognizes Sonny, and asks, what took so long? Sonny apologizes, and Mike says, it’s all right; Sonny is there now. He hates hospitals. Can Sonny get him out? He just wants to go home. Sonny says, as soon as the doctors say it’s okay, he’ll take Mike back to Turning Woods. He remembers Turning Woods, right? Mike says, it’s a great place, but after that they get to go home, right? He doesn’t want to be around these people anymore; it doesn’t feel right. Sonny tells him to rest, and Mike says he’s tired. Sonny says, take a break. Close his eyes, and don’t worry. They’ll be waiting. Mike takes Sonny’s hands, and says, everything is going be all right. Sonny will see when they get back Bensonhurst; it will be all right. Mike lies down, closes his eyes, and drifts off.

Sonny goes back out, and Carly asks how Mike is doing. Sonny doesn’t know, and tells her to go home; he’s got to stay tonight. She says she knows how hard it is when Mike doesn’t recognize him, but Sonny says, he did. He knew Sonny’s name, the whole thing; he was great. Sonny sits down, and says, his dad wanted him to take him back to Bensonhurst. He looked Sonny in the eye, and he hasn’t done that in days. He said all he wants to do is go home.

Brando tells Molly, it’s not bad. It just needs some front end work. She asks if she should take it to the dealership, and he says, it’s up to her. She says he was nice enough to take a look, and she’d rather give him the business, assuming he can do the repair. He says, sure, and she says he doesn’t sound enthusiastic. He says he’s happy for the business, but she didn’t chose to come there, and he wasn’t recommend. She came out of desperation, and he doesn’t want to take advantage of that.

Ava says, any time Trina wants to talk, or even if she doesn’t, she’s available. Right now though, she’d like Trina to do something for her. Trina says, name it, and Ava says, call her mother. Let her know she’s safe. Ava knows what it’s like to worry about a daughter, no matter how angry she is. Trina takes out her phone, and calls. Ava gives her privacy.

Curtis tells Jordan, Molly will get over it, but Jordan says she can’t get over the look on Molly’s face. He says, when this is over, Molly will know Jordan was trying to protect her, and understand that Jordan loves her. She says here’s hoping it worked. Not just for Molly. Everyone needs to believe TJ is just dealing with rejection and disappeared. Curtis says, it makes sense, and she says she has to break Molly’s heart and destroy the reputations of the finest agents she’s ever met to make sure Cyrus and his drug dealing are off the streets.

Brando tells Molly, there’s no website yet; he just opened. She asks if it was a surprise, and he says he didn’t plan on opening a garage, not in Port Charles anyway. Long story. She says she loves them; the more convoluted, the better. He asks if she’s a novelist, and she says she’s a published author. She was sixteen at the time. He says, that’s even more impressive, and she says, it was a romance novel. Looking back, it was arrogant to think she could write about life and love, when she knew nothing. He asks if she still writes, but she says, not any more. Now she’s a law student. He says, so if she doesn’t like the repair, she’ll sue him. She asks if he can repair it, and he says he can. She says, at a fair price? and he says, absolutely. She says she’ll have no grounds. He says not to act grateful yet. He hasn’t drawn up the estimate. She says, it’s the perfect rotten end of a perfectly rotten day.

Trina tells Ava, her mom was glad she checked in, and Ava says she’s sure Portia would like to keep Trina at home, and not let Trina out of her sight. Trina says, normally, she’d hate that, but now, it’s not so bad. All of it is going to be coming out; the evidence her dad supposedly planted. It will be all over the news, and his name will be dirt. She’ll be the only one who remembers what a good man he was. Ava says, even if everyone loses faith, Trina won’t, and she’s the only person who matters. Trina says, it doesn’t feel like enough, and Ava says, she is; she was for him. Her father left behind an incredible legacy. Not just with his work as a cop, but with the way Trina saw him walk through the world. He shaped her, and she’s extraordinary. Trina is his legacy. They hug.

Curtis promises it will end, and Jordan will take Cyrus out. She wonders what’s taking so long. They have everything they need for Cyrus to vacate. He says she knows how it goes. They have to get the order in front of a judge. She says, and once they do, the most evil man she’s ever known is going to go free.

Laura asks if Robert is suggesting they just sit back and let Cyrus go free. He says the justice system isn’t perfect, but they can’t disrespect it. Doc says, not even if it was a random drug lord, whose body count was strangers? It’s a legitimate course of action. Robert says, it’s nothing to be happy about, but they have to get used to the fact Cyrus is getting out. And when he does, Laura will be in his crosshairs for what she did to him in Pentenville. Laura says she’s not worried about herself, but her city. Port Charles is going to see a spike in drug trafficking. She asks if there’s any other option to delay Cyrus’s release.

Sonny tells Carly, he thought watching his father fade away  would be the hardest part. His father knowing him, looking him in the eye, father to son, and pleading that all he wants  to do is go home; it’s the one thing Sonny can’t give him. This is hell. He can’t do it. Carly holds him, and says, yes, he can. She’s got him.

On Monday – tomorrow they’ll be airing their 56th Anniversary episode (originally aired on April 3rd, 2019) – Josslyn wants to find Trina, Jason tells Sam that he can’t do this anymore, and Carly asks Sonny what the hell he’s going to do.

🩹 The Hospital Skinny…

More on what’s to come for GH’s schedule.

https://deadline.com/2020/03/general-hospital-repeat-episode-coronavirus-production-shutdown-1202896923/

The Real Housewives of New York City

We begin with the news of Bethenny’s exit, and how the cast found out, since apparently, Bethenny didn’t let anyone know. She could be caustic, but she was also intelligent, funny, and knew her way around a kitchen. And most important, every once in a while, blew her stack and said what was on all our minds. Life. Is. Not. A. Cabaret. Sonja feels abandoned all over again, and Ramona thinks it will be better; the women will be freer in spirit. In LeeAnn’s interview, a producer asks how she feels. LuAnn says, it’s hard to say. She’ll miss Bethenny, but the show must go on – without her.

LuAnn leaves the criminal court building, accompanied by Sonja. They hug on the steps, and LuAnn says, it’s finally over. She stops by a coffee cart on the corner, telling Sonja it’s her coffee guy. He says he thought she was finished, and in her interview, she says, it’s finally over; her probation is finished. It’s been almost two years. We flash back to LuAnn looking sad in court, and explaining to the others that she had to use a breathalyzer to drive. She says what people don’t understand is that she wasn’t fully present. This was always on her mind. It’s like someone lifted a ton of bricks. They sit and chat, and Sonja says, when LuAnn was first arrested, she didn’t care. She hit bottom, and thought things were great. Then she started becoming a cabaret star, and she wasn’t there for them. LuAnn says, what about her? Ugh. Same old. Sonja says she treated them like fans. In Sonja’s interview, she lists some of the ways LuAnn was a brat last season. The tantrum in the fish room, dumping Sonja after the AA meeting to go see her own poster, and coming back without truffle fries. That’s the real misdemeanor. LuAnn didn’t understand Sonja’s pain. As they hug, Sonja eats a pretzel behind LuAnn’s back.

Tinsley meets friend, and new cast member, Leah at the gym. In Tinsley’s interview, she says the summer was all about her. She moved on from Scott, worked on her lash line, and went to China, bringing back two puppies, Strawberry and Shortcake. She’s been focusing on herself, and it feels liberating. She met Leah a couple months ago, and Leah brings out her wilder side. She says what she feels, and has no filter. She also has a twelve-year-old daughter. Tinsley takes her hoops off, saying she feels like she’s losing  part of herself. Boxing trainer Martin says, nobody gives a f***. After the session, Tinsley and Leah sit and talk. Tinsley tells Leah that she only knew Chicago through Scott, but met Bruce while she was there. She doesn’t like his name, but she can’t change it. He’s been married twice and has three kids. In her interview, Tinsley thinks it’s the best way to have children; she can give them back. She tells Leah, she’s usually all-in immediately, but it’s the first time she’s being guarded, and not thinking too far ahead. Leah says she’s enjoying being single. She and her last boyfriend went to France, and on the flight home she asked what was going on with his divorce. He said it was on hold, so she told him that her p*ssy was on hold too. Ha! Good one.

Dorinda is still with John, and she’s prepping for his cooking class – i.e. her teaching him how to make lasagna. She tells him the doctor says she’s healing like a twenty-year-old, and he says she still acts like a twenty-year-old. In her interview, Dorinda says Carson Kressley was teaching her some Dancing with the Stars moves at a dinner party, flung her over a balcony, and she broke a rib. There was no mention as to whether alcohol was involved. She tells John, it forced her to look at things, and become dependent on him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says her injury made it necessary for her and John to spend time together. It’s been good, but weird; she’s not used to it. She confirms that familiarity breeds contempt.  They make lasagna, and Dorinda tells him about LuAnn. She doesn’t know why it’s a big deal. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she and LuAnn are in a good place, but their friendship had gone off the tracks. We flash back to mostly Dorinda being mean to LuAnn, and yelling, Jovani! during LuAnn’s cabaret show. She says, they’ve both transitioned to better places, and she’s not overthinking it.

Ramona meets friends Maria, Missy and Elyse, along with new neighbor/friend Mitchell, at a bar. In Ramona’s interview, she says she had a fabulous summer. She sold her condo, and has a new apartment on the Upper East Side, but she was living the Hamptons life. She admits she’s been escaping; masking something in her mind. She tells her friends that she feels like a youngster, but she’s sixty, and lacks direction. She feels empty and alone. In her interview, she says she has no important man in her life. Elyse says she’s surprised that Ramona feels that way, and Ramona starts to cry. Oh, yay. The bar buddy everyone wants. A weepy one. She says she wants a man to hold her, love her, and marry her, and doesn’t know if she’ll find one. I should add, an embarrassing bar buddy as well, since she’s LOUD.

Leah and daughter Kier go out to a juice bar. In her interview, Leah says, New York City is the best city in the world, and I tend to agree. She has a clothing line, Married to the Mob (which I’m actually familiar with), and lives with her daughter. They’re best friends, soulmates, and life partners. She doesn’t know if that’s healthy, but it’s the way it is. Kier is starting school soon, and Leah tells her to be herself, try her best, and don’t let the bitches get to her. Kier says her grandma told her that Leah was a horrible child. In Leah’s interview, she says their family situation isn’t traditional. Her baby daddy was her first love, and she thought they’d be together until they died, but they haven’t been together since Kier was two. Even so, he’s pretty much family.

Ramona visits Sonja, along with her pup Coco, who wants to romance Sonja’s pup Marley, even though there’s nothing they can ultimately do about it, since they’re fixed. Sonja says she’s been a recluse and has gas. Ramon tells Sonja not to send any of that her way. Sonja says she just took her daughter to college, and she lost it. In Sonja’s interview, she says when her daughter was in boarding school, she came home on weekends with her friends. The best Sonja can do now is be supportive about college, but she’s dying inside. Ramona says, when kids are away, they appreciate you more, and Sonja says she wants to give her daughter space. Sonja says, when she went to college, she flew the coop, and never looked back. The dogs continue to go at it.

Dorinda prepares for a party on the rooftop of Magic Hour restaurant. In her interview, she says she’s the entertainer of the group. You never know what you’ll get with Sonja, Ramona always invites the same thirty people, LuAnn’s parties always have a ticket booth out front, and who would Tinsley invite? Scott? We flash back to Dorinda calling Tinsley out on Scott and living in the hotel. Dorinda tells her makeup artist, Tinsley gave her a speech on how she didn’t want to hear conspiracy theories about her life, but she tells it like she sees it.

Tinsley tells her hair stylist that she’s anxious because she’s about to see the girls. The accusations about her and Scott are bullsh*t. We flash back to a Scott moment. In Tinsley’s interview, she wishes she understood why Dorinda is focused on her. Clearly something is going on in her own life that’s making her unhappy, so she’s projecting. Dorinda says she doesn’t know anything about Tinsley. The minute they go deep, Tinsley retracts like a turtle. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if Tinsley has the ability to open up, but they’re not cocktail party talkers; they’re bad bitches.

Tinsley brings Leah to Dorinda’s party, and Leah wonders if there are any eligible bachelors to pick up. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s good at parties. She brings people from all different places and professions, and throws them into a room like a crazy soup, then puts the heat on high. Tinsley refuses to clink glasses because Sonja and Leah aren’t drinking alcohol, and it’s bad luck. I think that applies only to water, but Tinsley lives in her own world. She puts a drink stirrer in her drink, and then sticks it in theirs to make it okay. New rule. In Leah’s interview, she says she and alcohol have a weird relationship. She didn’t drink for nine years, and then started again six months ago. She enjoys going crazy. We see a clip of her telling Tinsley that every twenty times, she’s a hot mess and takes a loser home, wondering how he got there the next morning. The other night she drank too much, and lost Chanel bag along with her passport, so she’s putting it on pause. Everyone comments on Dorinda’s fabulous new haircut, which really does flatter her. LuAnn says she has her life back. In her interview, LuAnn says, it’s hard to wrap her head around the fact she could have gone to jail for having a drink, and now she can do what she wants. She worked hard to get where she is, and doesn’t want to give it up. She’s Lu and improved. Tinsley introduces Leah to everyone.

Dorinda welcomes everyone. She says, another summer is over, and she wanted to have an end-of-the-summer party, since they scatter during the summer. She tells them that she has a big surprise, and drag queen Chelsea Piers comes out (no pun intended), and performs Feelin’ Jovani, while LuAnn fights for the spotlight. In LuAnn’s interview, she says obviously Dorinda has gotten past this. It’s not an olive branch; it’s the whole tree. In Leah’s interview, she says she has no clue what Jovani is, and looks it up on her phone, looking confused when she finds out it’s a clothing designer. I guess she’s never watched this show. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, she loves hard, fights hard, and forgives easily. It seems ridiculous now. Leah explains she’s a native New Yorker, and LuAnn says, but she looks so normal. Leah says she doesn’t see herself tied down, but Ramona says she wants to be tied down. (Leaving those jokes for someone else.) LuAnn tells Leah, they’re kind of old school, since they were both married a long time. Leah and LuAnn compare arrests, and oddly enough, both attacked police officers. In Leah’s interview, she says she ran into a guy she had a crush on 4th of July, 2002. She was mid-kiss when suddenly five cops were beating him up. Her kneejerk reaction was to hit a cop, and he punched her, then smashed her face into the subway grate. Nice. She sued and won, and decided she’d been making bad choices, so she’d be smart with the money, and used it for her brand.

Tinsley asks Dorinda to come outside and talk. They sit, and Tinsley says she feels like they were friends, but had issues, and she wants to have a lunch date where they can talk. Dorinda says, about Tinsley’s text on conspiracy theories, she’s always trying to pull information out of Tinsley. She saw Tinsley in January, when she’d said she wasn’t with Scott, and a week later, she was having dinner with him. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s about transparency. Tinsley has things going on, and they find out about them elsewhere. She thinks Tinsley is a riddle they’re never going to solve. She doesn’t know the answer. Tinsley wins. Inside, Sonja chats up hot guy William, who’s Ramona’s ex-lover. Sonja says Ramona is always going after her guys, so she’s turning the tables. She tells William that she’s not dating young guys, but if you don’t use it, you lose it. Leah doesn’t think he can handle Sonja. In her interview, Leah feels like William is the kind of guy who wouldn’t know his way around a woman’s body, rub you in the wrong place, and you’d have to explain it to him or he’ll just keep it up. Sonja says she doesn’t want to go home empty-handed. Wake up and smell the Sonja. Dorinda tells Tinsley, it’s not just her, but Tinsley says, actually, it is. Dorinda won’t listen to her, and keeps calling her a liar. Dorinda says, don’t put words in her mouth.

Dorinda tells Tinsley not to be tricky with her. Don’t ride up on her and make a statement. I have no idea what that means. Tinsley says she doesn’t give a sh*t, and what she thinks is that Dorinda doesn’t want to be her friend. Dorinda says she wants to know who Tinsley is, but Tinsley just wants to make a big statement, and it’s not going to work. Dorinda flounces off, and plops down next to LuAnn on a couch. She tells LuAnn that Tinsley came up on her hot, and told Dorinda not to be all gangster, but Dorinda said she is gangster. I think maybe she’s just mean. Tinsley said everybody knows her except Dorinda. Tinsley sits down in between Ramona and Leah, and says she only said she wanted to talk to Dorinda, and Dorinda said she was fake. In Tinsley’s interview, she says if she’s not talking, Dorinda says she’s hiding something, but if she asks for a private conversation, she’s fake. She can’t win. Leah asks, what’s going on? and Dorinda and Tinsley continue to bicker. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, she’s already been there, and the last thing she’s doing is inserting herself into this dog fight. She tries to switch seats with Tinsley, but Tinsley isn’t moving. Dorinda gets in Tinsley’s face, and tells her to shut her mouth. Leah asks if Tinsley is going to let Dorinda talk to her like that. Tinsley says she doesn’t care what Dorinda has to say, and Dorinda says, kindergarten is starting. In Leah’s interview, she says, Dorinda is like the snake in Beetlejuice, but scarier and meaner. Dorinda says this is boring her, and starts to walk away, but her heel gets stuck. Tinsley says, don’t trip (totally missing the opportunity to say, have a nice trip; see you next fall). Dorinda gets up close and personal again, and says her heel got stuck. The difference is, she bought her shoes. She didn’t lie on her back for them. She twirls around, but not nearly as well as Kenya, and walks away. Tinsley says, you’re a jealous bitch, bitch.

And away we go.

This season – parties, costumes, Ramona on a swing, Sonja falling, Leah says they’re all hot effing messes, LuAnn is back at cabaret, Tinsley wants to move to Chicago, Dorinda pretends everything is okay, LuAnn forgot how good vodka tastes, a trip to Mexico, a trip to a cornfield, revisiting the fish room, LuAnn swears she never screwed the pirate, and Dale wonders what’s wrong with her and Tinsley?

👨🏽‍🍳 On Top Chef, comedian chefs Ali Wong and Randall Park, who met during a fried rice competition where they went to school, gave the chefs their quickfire challenge of creating a fried rice dish, the winning chef getting immunity. The chefs had thirty minutes to make the best damn fried rice that was creative and inventive. Given a display table of ingredients, they were also to use at least one ingredient from the choices. You’d have thought they were going for rolls of toilet paper, the way the chefs grabbed the components they wanted. Kevin was the winner, using flaming hot Cheetos, hot dogs, and bourbon. I assume it tasted better than it sounds, since Ali said it was like a party in her mouth.

The elimination challenge was next, with the chefs going to the Getty Museum for inspiration. The challenge was to interpret a work of art on a plate, using four movements; baroque, neoclassicism, renaissance, and rococo. Since Kevin won the Quickfire, he got to choose first, and selected baroque. The rest of the contestants took knives from a block, each with a movement on it. After the museum, it was on to Whole Foods to shop for ingredients. Someone pointed out LOUD shoes, and I had to laugh, since I’d just mentioned that in the GH recap, and I wonder if it’s a thing now. The chefs were to tell a story through their choice of ingredient, and Ludo Lefebvre was introduced as guest judge.

Padma said they had some glorious, artful food, but had to choose one masterpiece. The winning spot went to Melissa’s won ton soup.

When the chefs on the bottom were called out, Padma told Karen that she ended up in the bottom because Kevin had immunity. In her interview, Karen made it clear how pissed she would be if she was out for that reason. She creeped me out a little during this episode. Not only did she practically hiss her displeasure about possibly losing, she most definitely glared at Kevin when he got the immunity in the first place. I also highly doubt had he not had it, he would have taken any chances. Joe said while the dish chosen didn’t lack artistry, it lacked the technique to present the artistry. Jamie had to pack up his knives and go for his dish being too dry. He said it sucked to leave this early, and wished he had delivered better cookery; there was no greater sin. His hope was in the Last Chance Kitchen, and to get back in the competition, doing the type of food he wants, the way he wants to do it. Next time, Kelly Clarkson is guest judge, and the chefs are challenged with a vegetarian menu.

🥠 The best quote came from Brian: I am not making baby Jesus today.

🐐 On Watch What Happens Live, we learned from Melissa and Joe Gorga that during quarantine in Italy, Joe Giudice is picking broccoli and chasing goats. Alrighty then.

👠 Don’t Pandemic Me…

One of LuAnn’s employees passive/aggressively called her out on Instagram.

https://pagesix.com/2020/04/01/luann-de-lesseps-slams-disgruntled-ex-employee-who-blasted-her-on-social-media/

But she’s not having it during this crisis.

https://www.realitytea.com/2020/04/02/luann-de-lesseps-responds-after-assistant-claims-she-didnt-acknowledge-him-for-helping-her-with-music-video/

👩🏽‍🚀 Almost Two Weeks In…

The good news is, chickens are still laying eggs, and the sky hasn’t fallen… yet. Shah you tomorrow.

March 31, 2020 – Jordan Involves the DOJ, Two Pranks Are Played, Loving Is Back, a Last Season, New GH Schedule, Soaps Rate, Okay Andy & Tired

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

I missed the very beginning, because I was running early. Why, Lord, why?

At the MetroCourt, Lulu sees Brook. Dustin asks if Lulu is sure this is a good idea. Does she remember what happened the last time? She says she remembers exactly what happened.

Trina apologizes to Cameron for being late. She lost track of time talking to Ava. Cameron says, it’s totally fine. Everything good? She says, yeah. Him? He flashes back to the kiss, and Trina saying, if she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this, and him saying, neither could he. He tells Trina, it’s all good.

Portia tells Curtis, she knew there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her, and frankly there was a lot she didn’t want know. Even when they were breaking up, she still cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her. Curtis says, she suspected it was Cyrus when Taggert was killed. He must have told her something about the investigation. She asks why it’s important, and Curtis says he and Jordan are always trying to figure out what to bring home, and what to leave at the office. It must have been the same with them.

Laura goes to the station, and sees Mac. She asks if Jordan is in her office, but he says she’s in a meeting. Laura asks if Mac means Jordan is interrogating a suspect, and Mac says he means she’s in a meeting. Laura gets that Mac isn’t used to her being mayor, but she has to ask him what’s going on.

In the interrogation room, Cliff sets up a recorder, and says, it’s an interview with Jordan regarding the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault. He asks if Jordan consents to the recording. She does, and he tells her to please explain her involvement in the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault.

Alexis says Finn doesn’t seem surprised to hear that she fell off the wagon. He says he feels terrible that he missed her call, but she says it’s not his job to keep her sober; it’s hers. Last night, she let her team down. He says they’re on the same team. If she has some time, he’d like to talk. She says she had one drink, but he says they both know it’s never just one. Alexis says, it’s all she had, and he says she’s been sober almost three years. What changed? She says, apparently, she did, or that’s what she was told. It’s the truth. He says, and that’s bad because… She says, because she stopped fighting for herself and what she believes in. Instead, she protected someone and crossed the line. He says she’s not first person to ever do that. What’s so horrible that she would end three years of sobriety? She says she slept with the person she protected, and she knew it was wrong, but the worst thing is that she’d do it again in a heartbeat. He says he believes her, and asks if she slept with them because she had a drink, or did she drink because she slept with them?

Julian and Britt cuddle in bed, and Julian says, he can get used to this. She tells him to remember their deal. It’s just fun, and at the end of the day, he goes his way and she goes hers. Britt says she probably should go, and he asks if it’s visiting hours at the jail. She says she’s already seen her mother, and once is enough. He asks if Obrecht is still claiming Peter framed her, and she says her mother lives by the motto, deny, deny, deny. She never takes responsibility for her crimes. He says, unlike Britt’s best pal Brad. He can’t believe Brad was involved in a baby switch, and she says Brad isn’t the villain Julian wants him to be. Julian knows Brad is Britt’s best friend, but Brad did betray his son’s trust in the worst possible way. She says, things are not always black and white. If he took the time to understand… He says, like her? She says she and Brad are kindred spirits. Now Brad is in prison, and they can only interact through a glass partition. She’s lost her best friend, and doesn’t know how she’s going to replace him in her life. Brad is the only person who got her, and without him, it feels pretty lonely.

Ned tells Brook, no one would be thrilled with a rematch, and she says, Lulu is a smug self-righteous, spoiled brat. There’s no way she’s letting Lulu win. He says, it’s not a competition. Blame him. He shouldn’t have forced her to work at ELQ. He’s going to find her a job more suitable to her talents. She says her talents belong on stage, and that’s exactly where she’s going.

Dustin says, the mess with Brook is over, isn’t it? and Lulu asks why she should go easy on Brook. He says, Brook is social media’s new punching bag, and she’s been beaten enough. She says, tell her that he doesn’t feel sorry for Brook, and he says he knows the reason Lulu resents Brook; she was desperate to become a success, like him. She says Brook dumped him because he couldn’t help her, but she has better things to do than scratch Brook’s eyes out, as much as she’d like to. He says, name one, and she says, this. They kiss, and Olivia approaches their table. She asks if anyone would care to hear the specials.

Trina asks Cameron how practice is going, and he says, good, but weird. It kind of freaks him out. When he’s playing, his focus is totally on the ball. She says, it’s not weird. She gets the same feeling at the gallery. It’s all about the work. She forgets the drama, and the questions that have no answers. He says he thought her mom didn’t like Ava, and Trina says, her mom doesn’t, but she does. She can talk about anything to Ava. He says that’s like him and Franco, and she asks what they talk about. He says, they were just talking about his last session with Dr. Bern. She says, Dr. Bern? Isn’t he… Cameron says, a therapist, yes. His mother thought he needed someone to talk to because… She asks if he thinks he needs a therapist, and he says, now she sounds like Dr. Bern. He agreed to go so his mother would stop treating him like a basket case. Trina says, he’s entitled to be a basket case, but he says she went through a lot more. She tells him not to compare their tragedies. She’s glad he can talk to Franco, and he says he’s glad she has Ava, but be careful; Josslyn doesn’t trust her. Trina says she gets why, but her experience is completely different, and Ava has been supportive. She wonders why something awful has to happen before they realize they’re not alone. He says that’s a good question, but he doesn’t have an answer.

Curtis asks Portia if Taggert was the kind of guy who brought his work home with him, and she says, sometimes. He says, even when it came to Cyrus? and she asks why he cares. He says he’s just curious because she mentioned balancing work and married life. She asks why it matters now.

Jordan says she was part of a four member team at the DEA. They were a task force assigned to Cyrus. Her, Bob, Mark, and Taggert. All three died in a three month period. Two from overdoses, who had no history of drug use, and Taggert was murdered. She became concerned and went over the DEA files. That’s when she realized there were discrepancies in the evidence. Cliff asks her to elaborate, and she says, upon further examination, she saw the material evidence used to convict Cyrus may have been fabricated. He asks if she knew they’d been obstructing justice, but she says she just had a sneaking suspicion.

Laura knows Mac was working on figuring out how Cyrus got messages from prison out to the street, but Mac says, so far, they have nothing. Laura wonders if the lead is in front of him, and he asks if she’s suggesting they have a dirty cop. She hopes not, but somebody is helping Cyrus. Jordan and Cliff come out of the interrogation room, and Jordan looks at Laura.

Cliff says, now the DOJ will have to be involved, and trusts Jordan won’t leave town. She says, of course (🍷) not. Mac asks, what’s going on? and she says, long story. It will have to wait. He says what’s more important if it involves the people he works with? but she says, it doesn’t. It’s about her and Cyrus. She leaves, and Mac and Laura look at each other.

Trina and Cameron walk as they talk. Trina says Josslyn and Dev can’t leave the property without a security guard. It would make her rip her hair out. It was bad enough with her mother texting her ten times a day, and monitoring where she is. He asks if her mother has backed off yet.

Lulu tells Olivia, she’s sorry about trashing the restaurant, but Brook started the fight. Olivia asks if that was before or after Lulu doused Brook with champagne. Lulu says Brook has done nasty things to her, but Olivia says Lulu has done the same. Like printing Brook’s careless post in The Invader. By the way, that’s not even her beat. Lulu says she didn’t tell Brook to post it in the first place, but even if she hadn’t written about it, someone else would have. Olivia says, it wasn’t someone else; it was Lulu. She gets that Dante is gone, and Lulu is acting out. What she doesn’t understand is that in moving on, why Lulu has turned her back on Olivia and the family. She says she thought Lulu was part of the family, and walks away.

Ned knows Brook has a plan to secretly write and record until she gets her creative property rights back, but does she think it’s a good idea to go on stage? Brook says she doesn’t need to be secretive anymore. She found a way out. He says Diana and ELQ”s lawyers couldn’t break Brook’s contract, and Brook found a way? She says she didn’t need to. After Ned decided to embarrass her, she decided to give Linc what he wants. He says, she’s not going to have… and she says, no. All he needs to know is that she’s now free and clear of her soul-sucking contract. He says it’s not all needs to know. What did she give Linc to make him walk away?

Julian tells Britt, there are way more appropriate candidates for best friend than Brad. She just looks at him, and he says he’s sorry she lost her best friend. Would she like a drink? She asks if by other candidates, he means like him, and he asks if that’s so horrible. Does she have something in common with more upstanding citizens in Port Charles? She says her alleged crimes were an act of love. She doesn’t think holding a knife to his ex’s throat is considered an act of love. Julian says he and Alexis are in a better place now, and she asks if Alexis forgave him. Julian says Alexis got therapy, and Britt says her therapist must be good. As she remembers, Alexis doesn’t forgive so easily. He says, so good, Alexis fell for him. She’s stopped therapy, but hasn’t stopped seeing Dr. Bern. Britt says, Dr. Bern? and Julian asks if she knows him.

Alexis tells Finn, her reasons for drinking are complicated, and he says, they usually are. Would one of the complications be Julian? She doesn’t blame him for coming up with that, but Julian was a good guy, and picked her up the bar. Sam called her coward. He says, and Alexis believed her? She’s fearless and courageous, but Alexis says she lacked courage when the going got rough. Maybe she drank because she can’t be with the guy. Finn says it sounds like she cares about him very much, and she says, it’s just… Neil walks in, and a lightbulb comes on over Finn’s head.

Neil says he thought there was a staff meeting there. Alexis says, it was an AA meeting, and Neil says maybe he got the meeting wrong. Finn says he’s got the wrong room, and tells Neil where it is. Neil says he’s going to bring a GPS next time, but Finn says, when he’s been there a while, he’ll figure it out. Finn kept thinking the supply closet was the on-call room. Alexis says she has to take off, and Neil says he does too, but Finn asks if he can asks a couple of questions. It will just take a minute. He wants to pick Neil’s brain about a patient, and it might have legal complications. Alexis says she has a meeting, and Neil says he’ll be late, but Finn ignores them. He says he’s been treating a patient who’s taken a series of experimental drugs, and is now confessing to bizarre crimes. Maybe the crimes are real; maybe they’re the patient’s imagination. Or maybe it’s their mental illness. Neil and Alexis look at each other, and flash back to their night in the hotel. Finn asks what Neil thinks. Side effects of the medication, or should he investigate if these are true confessions?

Britt tells Julian, she knew Neil looked familiar, but now she’s heard his name in context with Alexis. She had a layover in New York City, and went shopping. She stayed at the nicest hotel, and when she was on her way back to her room, she saw a man about to knock on a door. She didn’t think anything of it, but when the door opened, Alexis stepped out. She was about to say hi, when they fell into each other’s arms, and went back into the room. The guy was Dr. Neil Bern.

Lulu asks Dustin if Olivia was right. Was she desperate to punish Brook, and didn’t care who she hurt? Don’t be the supportive boyfriend, but tell her the truth. He asks if he can’t be both. He tells her, she’s caring, passionate, and impulsive, which aren’t bad things. They’re all reasons why he can’t get enough of her. But in her moving on, the hard part is, sometimes her impulses get out of control. She didn’t have to publish Brook’s post. It could have disappeared into the blogosphere, and no one would have been the wiser. She did it to get back at Brook.

Brook says, Ned likes to keep his business dealings private, and so does she. Her phone rings, and she says it’s her new PR guy; she has to run. As she heads to the elevator, on the phone, she says she has good news for him; he’s going to love it. Olivia asks Ned why every time she sees his daughter smiling, she knows all hell is about to break loose?

Trina tells Cameron, she and her mother have established some ground rules. They made them together. Her mom will give her space as long as Trina doesn’t scare her with radio silence. He says, sounds like a plan, and she says she knows his mom has rules; what about Franco? He says, Franco isn’t big on rules. Trina gets a text from Josslyn, and says she was supposed to text yesterday, and forgot. He asks what Josslyn said about… The last time they were all together, trying to study Shakespeare, Trina left. He knows why she left, but Josslyn didn’t. Unless… Trina didn’t tell her that they kissed, did she?

Portia doesn’t get why Curtis cares so much what went on between her and Taggert. Why is it important? There’s a knock at the door, and Jordan pops in. She says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Curtis would still be there. Portia says Curtis was just asking if she and Taggert talked about his work. Curtis says he was wondering about the Cyrus investigation, and Portia says she told him that Taggert really didn’t talk about his work at home. Jordan says, good. The less Portia and Trina have to do with Cyrus, the better. Portia says, it’s a little late for that. Her daughter was already kidnapped, and her father was shot in front of her. Jordan says she’s sorry. She’s afraid she has more bad news. Portia says, it’s not Trina, is it? but Jordan says, no. Trina is fine as far as she knows. She just met with a detective from Internal Affairs, and he’s asked the Justice Department to open an investigation involving Taggert’s handling of the case against Cyrus.

Alexis tells Finn, from a legal standpoint, policies would have to be investigated. Neil says he’ll work on whether it’s delusion or medication. Finn thanks them both, saying he appreciates it. He asks Alexis, lunch tomorrow? and she says, coffee. He says, sounds good, and leaves. Alexis walks into the office, and Neil closes the door. He says he knows it’s none of his business, but Finn seemed concerned about her. She says it was a post AA meeting; a double-checking thing. Neil says, he’s concerned, but she says she’s fine. Really. He says, every time a patient feels compelled to use the word really, it makes him concerned. She says she’s not a patient anymore, and he says, as one friend to another, can he help?

Julian tells Britt, Alexis’s therapist took advantage of her, but Britt says, Alexis is a grown woman, and as far as she could tell, wanted it as much as Neil did. Julian says, there are rules against that, and she says, it’s ironic that Julian has rules. He says, if Neil is ignoring that, he’ll have to remind him. He’s heading over to GH now. She says, to do what? Ride Neil? She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Alexis can take care of herself. He says, if she wants to worry about someone, worry about Neil. She says, all she wants to know is if he’s giving her a ride, or does she have to call Ride Share? He says, let’s go, and they leave.

Dustin says, too much honesty? but Lulu says, no; he’s right. So was Olivia. She was acting out, but Brook goes out of her way to be antagonistic, and she wanted to get back at her. She’s a bad person. He says, she’s a wonderful person, but she says, with so many flaws. He says, perfection is overrated.

On the phone, Brook tells her PR guy, if they ask about the big blow up, say no comment, and move on. The less said about it, the quicker it will blow over. She’ll be posting behind-the-scenes footage of her new material. Lulu approaches, and says she knows Brook heard her. Brook says, she’s ignoring Lulu. Take the hint. Lulu asks Brook to hear her out.

Trina says, Josslyn has no idea she and Cameron kissed, and he says, thank God. It would make things awkward. She says, a little bit, and he asks what she ended up telling Josslyn. She says she told Josslyn things were weird because of what happened to her dad, which is actually true. They were all traumatized, and none of them is thinking clearly. Josslyn understood completely. He says he’s glad to hear it, and she says she’s got to run. She promised to meet her mom at the hospital. He says he has  to meet his mom too; can he join her? She says, sure. What are friends for? I’m disappointed.

Portia doesn’t understand. She says Cyrus was found guilty, and sent to prison years ago, and Taggert is dead. Why revisit the case? Jordan says the other two members of the team were also killed in the last three months. She questioned the circumstances of their deaths, and searched for why they were singled out. She found proof that they fabricated the evidence that put Cyrus away. Portia says, they falsified evidence? and Jordan says, they were desperate for a conviction, and Cyrus was too good at not getting caught. She’s sure they felt it meant saving lives. Portia says, that could explain a lot about what happened in the marriage. With Taggert, everything was black and white; there were no grey areas. If he violated his own code, it would have eaten him up inside. I note that Jordan has officially replaced Jason in making the best worried face ever.

Laura thanks someone on the phone, and says she’ll be in touch. She tells Mac, it’s true. The DOJ is doing an investigation. They’ve ordered a complete review of the evidence that put Cyrus in prison. Apparently, Taggert worked with the other two agents to plant evidence against him. Mac says, no. He worked with Taggert for years, and Taggert never bent the law. He had a deep loathing for any officer who did. Laura says, if Jordan thinks there’s a possibility he crossed the line, they have to take it seriously.

Portia says, Taggert and his colleagues were killed for putting Cyrus in prison. What about Jordan? Where does she factor in? Curtis says, Jordan worked inside to gain Cyrus’s confidence. Portia says, so she was working independently of the team? and he says, right. Portia says, Taggert didn’t tell her; they left her out? He says, that’s right. Jordan knew nothing about it.

Olivia wonders how Brook got out of her contract, and Ned says she wouldn’t tell him, and he didn’t push her. He had the feeling no amount of pressure would make her talk. Maybe grandfather had the right idea about tough love. Olivia says that would let him off the hook. Now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about firing her.

Brook sits with Lulu and says, make it quick; she has a meeting with Lucy. Lulu says she didn’t know Brook was interested in real estate, and Brook says she’s not. Lulu says, skin care and cosmetics? Brook says, no. Her career is back on track. She’s launching her rebrand at this year’s Nurses ball. Dustin says, congratulations, and Lulu says, absolutely. She tells Brook, she’s not sorry she did her job as a journalist, but she could have contacted ELQ first, and given them a chance address the pharmaceutical branch that was closing. And it was wrong of her to spray Brook with champagne. So, are they good?

In the elevator, Britt tells Julian, take a deep breath, and do some quick elevator meditation. Don’t do anything he regrets.

Neil tells Alexis, there’s no rule that says she can’t turn to him for help. Alexis says, when she considers that, alarm bells go off inside her head. Neil says she called him last night, but she says, it was a mistake. She wasn’t in an appropriate state to see him. He asks, what state would that be? She shows him her one-day chip. Julian and Britt look through the window.

Mac tells Laura, there has to be more to the story, and she says, maybe there is, but she doesn’t know why Jordan wouldn’t have shared that. Mac says, she took the investigation at face value, but she knew Taggert better than anyone. Why would she have gone straight to IA? Laura says, maybe she couldn’t believe Taggert did something illegal. Mac asks if they just sit back and watch it play out, but she says, no. If something else is going on, she wants him find it.

Jordan tells Portia, she had no idea when Cyrus was originally tried that evidence was planted. Portia says, it’s not going to stay quiet for long. She has to find Trina and tell her what’s going on. Trina knocks on the door, and Portia says, better now than later. She opens the door to Trina and Cameron, and Trina asks, what’s going on? Why are they here?

Ned tells Olivia, Brook is his daughter. From the moment she was born, he started to feel guilty. She says, he had to fire Brook; he had no choice. The mess Brook brought back, she did by her lonesome. He says if Brook is back on track, he won’t feel so guilty, but she says if Brook isn’t willing to tell him exactly how it happened, she has some scheme or epic machination that’s going to blow up in everyone’s face.

Brook accepts Lulu’s apology, and they shake hands. Brook says she wants something in return, and Lulu says, name it. Brook says, Lulu’s boyfriend.

Alexis tells Neil, it’s the first day of her new life. She shows him her chip, and he takes her hand. He says he’s proud of her. Julian busts into the room, and grabs Neil, throwing him up against the wall. Alexis asks what Julian is doing.

Tomorrow, Valentin says Brook’s ELQ shares are officially his, Trina tells Portia not to believe Jordan’s lies, and Carly asks Brando when the other shoe is going to drop.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana meets Lisa for riding. Lisa says she taught Prince to talk, and Ariana says she’s ready for this. Lisa calls Tardon, parlay! and Prince whinnies.

Katie visits Stassi, who’s on the couch, wearing a sleep mask. They have wine and burgers, and Stassi says, it’s just what she needed. The hangover struggle is real.

James makes bacon, and tells Raquel that he had the weirdest dream. Lala was in it. Raquel asks, why? and he says, because he was having an annoying night. We flash back to Tom’s birthday, and Raquel relaying to James that Logan had said he was at a party where people were getting effed up. Raquel says she has to ask; was James drinking at that party? He says, no. If he had, it would be a serious problem. He swears he hasn’t had a drank in six days, In his interview, he says he used to think if bad things happened, it was a good reason to drink, but hit doesn’t solve anything. He’s happy he didn’t.

Lisa tells Ariana that James quit drinking, and he’s getting help. Ariana says, it’s like déjà vu or Groundhog Day, but Lisa says she thinks the difference is that Raquel put her foot down. Ariana says you never know when James is going to snap, and Lisa says it’s when he has his first drink, but she thinks the tide has changed.

James tells Raquel that he’s been talking to Lisa every day.

Stassi can’t believe Katie is having a girls wine night party, but Kristen isn’t invited. Katie says, it’s happening. She’s met some new people, but hasn’t gotten to know them, so she’s invited Dayna, Danica, and Charli. She also can’t not invite Raquel if she’s invited the others. In Stassi’s interview, she says Katie has invited every single girl in West Hollywood, and Kristen is going to be pissed. Katie tells Stassi, if Kristen is going to act like that, she’s not inviting her.

Lisa says, when it gets to be too much, she goes to the stable. Ariana complains that her horse has a small wiener, and it’s embarrassing.

In his interview, Jax says he swore he’d never be at SUR when he turned 40, and at 40, he’s still there. Tom comes in, hungover and struggling. Jax suggests the hair of the dog. Raquel sees Scheana outside in the back, and Scheana says Raquel looked cute at Tom’s party. Raquel says Scheana looked hot, and Scheana says she had fun with her whip. Katie calls Raquel, and invites her to wine night tomorrow with the ladies. Raquel says she’d love to. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie has never been intentionally mean to her, but she’s never gone out of her way to be kind either. Scheana wonders how it’s going to be with Lala, and tells Raquel that she’ll have friends there. She can mediate if need be.

Brett has invited Scheana to make a YouTube video with him. In his interview, he says he does personal training, and has been successful on YouTube by being his authentic self. A lot of women follow him. He tells Scheana that he thinks women will identify with her, and what she’s been through as a young divorcee. He trusts her and she’s a friend. Scheana thinks they’ll become better friends, because this woman cannot take no for an answer. He thinks she’s awesome, but says he’d never want to hurt her by making her think there’s something that’s not there. He looks at her like a guy friend. Scheana, who only hears what she wants to, says, who knows; maybe one day. In Brett’s interview, he says he loves her as a person, but has no intention of taking he home. Scheana suggests they see where the world takes them.

Schwartz goes to Tom’s place, where Max has arrived ahead of him. In Tom’s interview, he says, people give him a hard time about not having furniture, but they have a couch and a credenza. They’re good. Tom says, it’s Jax’s birthday, and Brittany is taking him out to lunch. Now that they have houses, it’s open to the possibility of TP’ing them. Schwartz says, talking about it ruins it; it has to be spontaneous. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s all for a good prank, but because of the dynamic between Tom and Jax, he doesn’t know if they’re in a good enough place for that. Schwartz says he can’t do it today, as Tom pours beer in a funnel. He doesn’t mind pissing Jax off, but not on his birthday. Tom wants Schwartz to funnel beer, and Schwartz asks, what for? Tom says, for Jax, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t here. Tom points to his heart, and says, Jax is here. In Max’s interview, he says Tom wants to beer bong and TP a house in the afternoon, but he has to go to work. He doesn’t think it’s the best idea. They sit by the pool, and Tom brings out shots. They toast to Jax’s birthday. Schwartz thinks instead of pranking Jax, they should lift him up, and show how much they love him. Tom says he’ll be back in fifteen, and Schwartz says, what if it rains? Tom and Max leave, but Schwartz stays behind. He can’t, he won’t, and he’s not doing it.

Tom and Max TP Jax’s house, and Tom says, it feels good. In Max’s interview, he thinks Tom is releasing some frustration against Jax; he’s fired up. The leave OLD FART in toilet paper letters on the street in front of the house. Jax and Brittany come home to trees laden with toilet paper, and Jax says, WTF? Are you effing kidding me? Who does that? Brittany says, what the hell is this? Jax sees the message, and says, these a-holes. This is going to suck. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s not that funny. He knows one of his friends did it, but doesn’t know which one.

Jax starts making calls. Tom says he didn’t have anything to do with it, and claims they got him too, and shows Jax his front yard with a few streams of toilet paper hanging from a tree. In Toms’ interview, he says, there are three things you need to get away with a prank. Confidence, an alibi with plausible details – Jax says it doesn’t look like as much in Tom’s yard, and Tom says they must have hit Jax’s house first –  and a couple of gullible friends. Brittany says Schwartz swears he didn’t do it. Jax says he knows Beau did it. Brittany shows Stassi the yard, and Stassi says, it’s so insane. In his interview, Jax says he’s going to find how who did this, and get them back.

Scheana tells Brett she went home with some guy from Tom’s party, but not the one she came with. She’s excited to be YouTube’ing with him. He sets up the camera, and says he’s there with a good friend; a homie. He introduces Scheana, and says she’s 34, and looks great. She highly recommends Botox. He says, she’s a middle-aged woman, and in her interview, Scheana wonders in what world she’s considered middle-aged. I too, am wondering. Brett says she’s been married and divorced, and she’s freezing her eggs, because right now, she’s not trying to have a baby. She says she’s not getting in another relationship or getting married unless the guy blows her mind. She’s been dating f***boys, and it’s fun. Brett says, you attract the energy you put out, and asks if she’s a f***girl. In Scheana’s interview, she wonders why she’s doing this interview. He stops filming, and she says she can be happy, single, and getting laid, or fat desperate and looking for love. I guess there’s no in-between? She says she doesn’t want a relationship. He calls her middle-aged again, and she says he keeps aging her. He clearly doesn’t know the definition because she has at least another ten to fifteen years. I get the feeling Brett isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, which is saying a lot since Scheana is no Einstein either.

Lisa explains to her housekeeper that she’s going to her mother’s funeral, staying one more day, and then coming back. In Lisa’s interview, she says the funeral was delayed, and it’s been overwhelming. Puffy! She tells Puffy not to be nervous. She’s going to call her other rescue boy, and see how he’s doing.

James asks Raquel what she’s going to say at the wine party when Lala comes at her. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy. Lisa calls, and asks if he’s doing okay, and he says he’s doing really well. He has a meeting tonight. She says she’s going out to London tomorrow, and just because she’s on the other side of the world, doesn’t mean she won’t know what’s going on. He says he’s taking it seriously. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t need another child, but James’s vulnerability tugs at her heartstrings. She’s invested a little in helping to get him there, and he’s going to do it. I want her to adopt me.

Katie makes charcuterie boards for the party. Stassi says, a lot of people are coming; Kristen is going to sh*t her pants. Katie says, life goes on without her, and Stassi says she understands Katie’s logic, but Kristen won’t.

Scheana can’t wait to call Kristen, and give her the news. Kristen says she’s prepping for Jax’s birthday party, and Scheana whines that Brett called her middle-aged. She tells Kristen that she’s heading over to Katie’s for girls wine night. Kristen says, that’s precious. Katie is her wine partner, and not inviting her. Scheana says, Katie has literally invited all of SUR. I forgot to mention, literally is literally every other word with this group, and I’m literally tired of it. If it was a drinking game, we’d be smashed in the first ten minutes of the show. Kristen asks if Lisa is going to be there, and Scheana says Lisa is in London for her mother’s funeral, but maybe she was invited. In Kristen’s interview, she feels like this is bullsh*t. Katie wants crazy Kristen, so she can justify it. She tells her dogs that they’re her two best friends. Which I actually (literally?) don’t think is a bad thing.

The girls start arriving. In her interview, Dayna says she grew up on Mad Dog 2020, and vodka from a box (is that a thing?), so she’ll drink whatever’s there. Scheana says she came in her pajamas; it’s been a long day. She did a YouTube video with Brett, and he called her middle-aged. Stassi says, he’s only two years younger than Scheana. They toast to girls night.

At TomTom, Max tells Tom, everything is good. Jax arrives, and says, the party’s here.

Brittany tells the girls that they’re having Jax’s birthday party at Rocco’s. It’s going to be an 80s theme.

Tom gives Jax a paper shopping bag. Jax takes out some toilet paper. In his interview, he says, if Tom wants to surprise him, show up with a fifth of vodka. There will be consequences.

Brittany wonders who TP’d the house. Jax thinks it’s Beau and Stassi. Stassi thinks it’s Tom, but Ariana says someone came to her house too. Brittany is still friends with Kristen, and asks if they’re still going to be able to hang out. Katie says they still have a wine inventory, but the friendship is off. Lala talks to Scheana on the porch, and says Raquel should feel lucky to be graced with her presence. In Lala’s interview, she wants Raquel to stay in her lane, and let people like her run sh*t. Lala goes inside, and says she wants to have a real talk with Raquel. Because a party is definitely the place to do that. She says she pulled Raquel aside because she as genuinely concerned about James, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Raquel says Lala turned it into an ugly thing, and focused on Logan. Lala says she was speaking; let her finish. Raquel forgot her place, but Lala will steer her back. Raquel says, Logan is obsessed with James. In her interview, she says, this is raw Lala. Lala sees her as vulnerable, and preys on it. If they can’t all agree Lala is a bully, they can agree she’s a bitch. Lala says she set up James with studio sessions, and wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t care. In Charli’s interview, she thinks maybe Lala still likes James, but you can secretly still like someone and secretly hate their girlfriend. I don’t see Lala as still being interested in James that way, but okay. Raquel says, James didn’t drink, and Lala says she’s missing the point, and ran off after she told Lala STFU. At her worst, Raquel is like a yapping chihuahua. Raquel says, Lala is a Rottweiler, and Lala says, no; she’s a Pitbull. Brittany says, they’re scaring her, and Stassi laughs. Lala tells Stassi, stay in her bubble. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lala is her girl, but right now, she has no leg to stand on. Lala says, don’t project on her what they want her to reflect. Huh?

In the car, Raquel tells James that she’s tired; it was a lot of wine. It was awkward. She and Lala argued, and everyone else was quiet. It’s been a week. James says it was weird before the meeting; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t shared yet. In his interview, he says he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he’s in a room full of cool people who have realized alcohol isn’t a cool solution to problems. Raquel drives him to a meeting.

Everyone gathers for Jax’s birthday party. Brittany thinks it’s weird how Jax wanted a theme, but he’s not willing to dress up for anyone else’s. Jax comes in looking like a poor man’s Brett Michaels. In his interview, he says he’s a huge 80s buff; it’s his decade. He would have dressed like this anyway. Tom gives Jax a gift, and it’s a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. In Tom’s interview, he says when he, Schwartz, and Jax lived together, they watched Step Brothers all the time, and the Will Ferrell character has a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. He called Randy’s assistant and had it signed. A producer asks what Jax got Tom for his birthday, and he says, um… He doesn’t think Jax got him anything. Schwartz gives Jax a fake, very lifelike, female foot. In his interview, Schwartz says, Jax likes dirty, filthy, stinky feet. He’s worried there’s a paper trail leading to him buying the foot, and he’s now on a list. Jax tells Brittany that she’s been replaced. Brittany tells Kristen, it was weird with her not being at wine night. It was fun, but crazy. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi and Katie were her L.A. family, and she doesn’t understand how you can cut family out. The point is that you stick together no matter what. She tells Brittany, they don’t want anything to do with her. Brittany says she sees both sides, but Kristen doesn’t know what their side is. She’s said things she didn’t mean and apologized, but she thinks they say things they mean.

Raquel waits for James after the meeting. When he gets in the car, he tells her that he shared for the first time. Raquel says, that’s amazing, and in James’s interview, he says his persona is DJ James, the life of the party. It’s been seven years of non-stop partying. Being vulnerable is difficult for him, and it’s going to be a day by day thing. He tells Raquel he was nervous. He felt like she did back in the day, giving a speech to her college class. He’s blessed to have figured it out now.

Randall tells Jax that when you’re in the 40 club with him, it’s not about TP’ing a house. He’s a prank specialist, and tonight a prank cop car is going to be pulling up at Tom’s house and arresting him for vandalism. They’re going to cuff him, put him in the car, then they’ll jump out and say it’s a prank. Lala tells Jax his birthday gift is happening tonight. In her interview, she says, Randall is a prankster specialist. He’s done over 100 films, and pulled a prank on all of them. It’s always epic. Randall says, no one can know.

At Tom’s house, Ariana says she rented a table and chairs. She thinks she might want to stick with rented furniture, since she doesn’t trust anyone not to eff up her house, including Tom. The guests arrive, and she says, RIP her house. Jax brings his own chair, since he won’t sit on the cushions. They have cat hair on them, and he hates cat hair. He yells for music, when two cops come in, and ask to talk to Tom. They pat Tom down, and Jax acts shocked. The cops take Tom outside, and in Jax’s interview, he says they’re genius actors, and look like real cops. For a second, Jax thought he was in trouble. One of the cops asks what Tom knows about a vandalism report, but Tom says he didn’t do anything. The guests move outside, and Schwartz is sure it has to do with parking tickets. The cops tell them to stand back, and put Tom in the car. Ariana asks what it’s about, and one of the cops tells her, it’s about vandalism. Jax insists he didn’t say anything, but one of his neighbors may have. In his interview, Jax says, this is how you do a prank when you’re an adult. Tom will never be number one. He tells Ariana, he didn’t call anyone; it wasn’t him. Randall goes over to the car, and tells Tom, here’s the thing. When you f*** with Jax on his birthday, you f*** with them. Lala says he got them all, and they dance around and high-five each other. Ariana says her heart is beating out of her chest.

Jax thanks the actors, and Katie says she hates them all. Scheana tells Tom that he’s really sweating. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Just turn on the news. She asks if she’s the only one who thinks it’s not funny, and Jax says, Tom’s not mad, and that’s all that matters. In Tom’s interview, he says it was one of the best pranks ever, and he’s honored to have it pulled on him. Ariana says she understands where Katie is coming from. In Ariana’s interview, she says some people have a different perspective than others when it comes to their relationship with the police. Joking around like that is in poor taste. Tom says, it’s not a big deal. Katie says they can’t expect no one to react, and Schwartz tells her to shut up. She says she doesn’t think it’s funny, but Schwartz says it was a great moment. They’re laughing, and no one gives a sh*t about her opinion. Tom tells him not to talk to his wife that way.

Katie wonders if she’s the only person who associates this with something really terrible, and Ariana says she gets where Katie is coming from. Schwartz says he’s never been more turned off in his life. This is why he doesn’t have sex with her. Beau says, don’t do this, and Schwartz says he’s not looking for Beau to agree with him; she’s a moron. In Beau’s interview, he says, it’s one thing to have a drunken argument with your significant other – he’s experienced that – but the way Schwarz is talking is venom. In Katie’s interview, she says, the last time Schwartz spoke to her like that was in Mexico. We flash back to Schwartz saying her voice is a cacophony. She says, the only difference is, this time he’s being mean and degrading in front of all their friends. Schwartz walks out, calling Katie an idiot, and Tom says Schwartz is being an a-hole. Schwartz tells Katie, let’s go, but she says she’s not going with him.

Next time, Beau tells Stassi that he’s doing everything on his time, Schwartz says things are still tense, and Brett wants to hang out with Dayna.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ian asks if there’s any chance Alex had his baby. Talk to him. She says, no, and he says he’s not judging. She says, goodbye, and starts to walk, but he calls her back. She says she doesn’t want to talk about this, and tries to go into her house, but the door is locked. She says she left her keys, but he says he has them. She asks what the hell is wrong with him? and he says she left them on the grass. She says she doesn’t want to wake her kids up; give her the keys. He says he wants answers. Can the baby be his? She says, that’s impossible; they never slept together. He asks if she really wants to do this. He knows a lawyer. Don’t make him go that route and request a DNA test. She asks why he’d do that, and he says he wants answers; that’s all. She asks if he’d really get a court order, and he says, if he has a child out there, he would. She says, no way the baby is his, and he asks how she knows. She says they only had sex once.

He says she’s admitting it, but she says she doesn’t want to talk there. He suggests they go in her house, but she says, no. She’d rather go to his. They go inside, and it’s not unlike Tom’s house on Vanderpump Rules, since he has no furniture yet. He says, so? She says, it was her, and he thanks her for being honest. She says the baby’s not his, and he says, he gets it. He doesn’t want it to be either, but they should know. Alex says she doesn’t need this now, and Ian says, him neither. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she does. He brings out a box, and says he wants her to promise first that she’ll talk. She starts to cry, and he asks if she’s okay. She cries harder, and tells him, just find the alcohol. She doesn’t care what it is at this point.

Natalie feels bad, but Lushion says, Alex made her bed; it’s done. He looks out the window, and says, what the hell? Someone is over at Kelly’s. He’s going to check, and she tells him, be careful. He tells her to stay there, and goes outside. He sees a man holding a paper bag, and looking in Kelly’s front window. He draws his gun. He tells the guy, put his hands up and put the bag down. The guy says he lives there, but Lushion says he doesn’t. He says he’s just moving in, and Lushion says, somebody else lives there. What’s his name? The guy says, Durrell; he’s Justice’s father. Lushion asks if he’s got ID, and Durrell says it’s in his back pocket. Lushion says, slowly, and Durrell holds out his wallet. Lushion looks at the ID, and puts away his gun. He asks why Durrell is snooping around, and Durrell says his mother told him that Kelly left the key; he knows the alarm code. Lushion asks if Justice can ID him, but he says Justice doesn’t really know him. Lushion tells him, hands behind his back. Keep it easy, and they’ll clear this up. Lushion cuffs him, and says, relax; take a seat. Durrell sits on the curb, and Lushion calls Natalie, asking her to come out. He meets her halfway, and she asks, what’s going on? He says the guy says he’s Justice’s father. Does she know him? She says, no, but he looks like Justice. Lushion says, he just got out of jail, and she asks how he knows. Lushion says, slippers and a paper bag. She says Kelly did tell her that he was in jail, but Justice doesn’t know him. He asks if Kelly said anything about leaving a key, and she says Kelly did say she was worried and told him he could move in. Maybe it is him. Lushion tells her, stay there. He asks Durrell if he’s got proof he knows Kelly, and Durrell says there are pictures in his wallet. Lushion looks at them, and says, that’s a long time ago. Durrell says he’s been away a while, and Lushion unlocks the cuffs. He asks if Durrell was in jail. Durrell says, yeah, and Lushion says, yes, sounding like Judge Judy. He says he can’t let Durrell in until he finds out it’s okay. Durrell asks where he’s supposed to go tonight; he just got out, and doesn’t have money. Lushion says he can’t let Durrell in until he makes sure he’s supposed to stay there. In a couple hours it will be daylight, and he can come back. If Kelly says it’s okay, he’ll let Durrell in. If Durrell was Lushion, he’d do the same thing. Durrell picks up his bag, and says, all right. He strolls off, and Natalie says, Lushion isn’t letting him in? Lushion says he thought she was from the hood. She says she is, but she thinks it’s him. Lushion says, Kelly has been through enough. One night at a bus station won’t kill him. She says, that’s cold. She feels bad, but Lushion says he doesn’t.

Ian says Alex doesn’t want another, does she? She says she does, and he says, it’s strong, but she says she doesn’t care. He thinks she needs to lay off the liquor, but she thinks he needs to stop telling her what to do. He says she’s drunk, and she says he’s not drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says, fair enough, and they clink glasses. She says she remembered him the moment she saw him, but was hoping he wouldn’t remember. He asks, why? Because she was married? She says, it’s not that. She hates being a wife (surprising us all), but she’s not a bad person. He tells her, he didn’t say she was, and she says she doesn’t want kids. He says she has three, and she says, because she did everything her father, mother, and Brad wanted her to do. She felt trapped, so every time Brad was at work, and she was supposed to be at a PTA meeting or whatever, she met men like him. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. Go ahead. Judge all he wants. He says he’s not; it’s fine. She says she never wanted this life. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to be an actress. He says she’s pretty damn good, and she says she has to be now. Her father told her it was stupid, and she should get married and have babies because she had no talent and no chance. That was after he raped her every night. Ian is shocked, and she says he wanted to talk; let’s talk – about all of it. She pours herself some more, saying, she grew up with a backwoods country-ass way of thinking. Her mother actually said it was okay. He says he’s so sorry, and she says she watched her family nearly murder Black people. They hated that she went to school with them. Ian says maybe she was sleeping with Black men to get back at them, but she says, it has nothing to do with that. She thinks they’re beautiful, and loves how their skin is gorgeous and soft. He says, no more for her, and she says he’s right. No more talking about this bullsh*t; she’s done. He says she’s not doing anything stupid, and she says, why the hell should she deal with this, raising Brad’s kids. He says they’re her kids too, but she says she’s tired of all this sh*t. She’s had enough. She’s going to be free, and go do whatever she wants with whoever she want to do it with. He says when she wakes up sober, she’s going to realize she said too much. She asks why he isn’t drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says he’s buzzed, but she says, not enough; drink. She downs hers, and he moves the empty glass away. He suggests she let him take her home, but she says she doesn’t want to go right now. He says, what about her kids? and she says, they’re fine with the babysitter. He takes her hands, and she pulls him toward the kitchen island. She says, please, she wants this. It was so good; she wants to do it again. She unzips his pants, and gets on her knees. He says, no, but…

Larry gets home, bringing along another guy, and Eddie is waiting. He says, what are you ladies up to? and Larry says Eddie was there ahead of him, and knows when he left. The other guy goes inside, and Eddie asks who this one is. Larry says Eddie isn’t ready for that. Why is he there? Eddie says he wants to talk about some things. Andrew, Joe, and Pete. Larry asks if he’s been drinking, and Eddie says, more than drinking. He did some good blow tonight. Larry says he must be pretty high, and Eddie says he could say that. He saw Larry’s wife leaving; is there a problem? Larry says she goes to the country house on weekends, and he brings home the boys when she’s gone. Eddie thinks it’s sick, twisted sh*t, and Larry says, it is; they love it. Almost as much as they love each other. What does Eddie want? To come in? Eddie says, hell no, and Larry asks why Eddie is wasting his time. Eddie says he’s there to find out about those specific names, and Larry asks what he wants to know. Eddie asks if they’re with the FBI, and Larry says he doesn’t know. Eddie asks if Larry is playing games with him, and Larry says he doesn’t play games. He invites Eddie in again, but Eddie says he’s not into that kinky sh*t. Larry says Eddie is pretty sick too. It was the last reason Eddie was there, and the only reason he’s there now. He gave Eddie the privilege of taking control and making him beg. He respects that. Is Eddie ready to beg? Let him know. Eddie acts mad at the world, but what he wants is to be punished. Let Larry punish him. He’ll make him feel so bad by making him feel good. Eddie says the only reason he’s there is Esperanza and the dudes who came against him. Nothing is going to stop him. Larry says, sounds like fun, and Eddie says, keep pushing him, and see how much fun he is. Larry says he can’t wait, and goes inside.

A nurse whose name I can’t remember, tells Rick to go home. He says he wants to talk to her about Kelly. She’s back in jail, and going through a hard time. She says she’s not helping any more, and don’t tell Kelly to fake chest pains. He asks if she doesn’t talk to Sister Margaret, the chaplain. Did Margaret tell her the names of the girls? She says she’s not talking to him, and starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm. He says, they got her too, but she says she’s not talking. He gives her a piece of paper, and says, it’s Lushion’s phone number. Help them. She says that church is crazy, and they know everyone; the mayor, the garbageman, even her ex=boyfriend. She can’t tell him anything. He says she can’t let Kelly go down, but she says she doesn’t know Kelly, and Kelly shot him. Rick says she doesn’t know what he did to Kelly, and she says not to use her name. He says, fine, coward, and she says, call her whatever he wants. She’s not messing with that church. On second thought, if he takes her out and buys her some drinks, maybe she’ll talk. He tells her, bring her dancing shoes and a nice dress.

Margaret visits Kelly, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Margaret says she wants to say a prayer, and the guard lets her in. Kelly tells her, get away from her cell. The guard leaves, and Kelly calls him back, but he ignores her. Margaret tells Kelly, come sit, but Kelly says she won’t. Margaret says, before the guard comes back, and Kelly sits. She asks what Margaret wants, and Margaret says she’s helping Kelly; praying for her. Kelly laughs, and Margaret hands her a Bible, telling her, read this. It’s her gift to Kelly. Margaret calls to the guard, and Kelly says she knew Margaret didn’t want to pray; hypocrites. Margaret tells her, open the bible, and she does. Kelly flips through it, and takes out several pictures. She looks on the backs of them, and Margaret says, God bless you. Wrong is wrong, and she is praying. Kelly thanks her, and hugs her. Margaret says, she’s going to be all right, and when she is, don’t look back. It’s time for Kelly to get back to church. Get back to praying and believing again. She’s stronger than all this. Stop being sorry for herself and being a victim. Take it by force. The kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). Kelly says she hears her, and Margaret says, good. God bless her.

Tanya and husband Bennett watch TV. Tanya asks Bennett why he keeps looking out. (Refresher: Bennett trashed Randall’s house at the end of last season.) She says, stop looking at him. He’s looked enough at her already. Bennett says he’ll tell Randall to stop, but she says he’s not going to. She already told him to stop. Bennett says he can make Randall stop, and she asks, how? He says he just will, and she says, like in the last neighborhood? He tore that man’s house apart. He says they were talking about her, and she says he can’t get mad. She gives them enough to talk about. He tells her, don’t worry. Randall won’t bother her again, but she says he’s not the kind that will stop. Bennett says, he will, and she says she’s going to bed. He tells her that he’s staying up a little. He promises Randall won’t bother her. He looks out the window.

Steven and Esperanza cuddle on the couch. He says, it’s her night, and she says, after they watched his movie. He asks if she wants him to stay because of Eddie, or because she wants him to stay. She asks if she looks afraid. He says he’ll stay every night, or he can be out sleeping in his car. She says that would defeat the purpose, and he says he can sleep on the couch. She tells him, read between the lines. She wants him to stay in her bed, naked. He says, as good as it sounds, he doesn’t want her kicking him out in an hour. She says he’s living in the past. She wants to spend time together, and not worry about what happened before. He says, what about her daughter? and she says she’s been thinking about that. The best thing is for her to bring her daughter to her mom’s until this thing with Eddie is over. Does he want drive up there to Columbus? He says they’ve got themselves a road trip, and they kiss. He gets a text, and she makes him give her the phone. She reads, what’s up, stud? and asks who Anna is. He asks if she’s jealous, and she says, a little bit, and deletes Anna’s number because she doesn’t like her name. He says he doesn’t think his sister is going to like that. She wants him to call his sister, and he says, no. He’s sleepy, and they’re not exclusive. They’re just enjoying each other very much. They get busy.

Randall calls Marcie, who answers, yes? He asks if that’s all she’s got to say. She destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and he asks if she got Brad to do it. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She only picked up because she likes to taunt him. He says she did more than that, and she says he’s talking crazy. He tells her, don’t hang up, but she says, bye. A car parks in front of Randall, and Brad gets out and goes inside.

Brad asks if Marcie is okay. She says she is, but Randall keeps calling. He asks why she keeps answering, and she says she likes to taunt him. He says she shouldn’t do that. He asks if Randall has been there, and she says, no; why would he be? Brad says, someone destroyed Randall’s house, but she says she doesn’t know what happened. He tells her that Alex signed the divorce papers. That means he can officially pursue her. He kisses her, and she says she hasn’t seen his full court press. She tells him, she’s starving, and he says he’ll make something. He gets up, but his phone rings. He says it’s Chelsea, his babysitter, and he asks, what’s going on? Chelsea says his wife was supposed to be back hours ago, and she has to leave. She tried calling, but Alex isn’t answering. He asks if the kids and baby are asleep, and she tells him they are. He says he’ll be right over. He tells Marcie that Alex still isn’t home, and she says Alex is probably trying to trick him, but he says she knows better than that. She asks if he’s going, and he says he has to. Otherwise, the kids will be there by themselves. She tells him to try Alex again, but he gets voicemail, and hangs up. Marcie tells him to try from the landline, but he still gets voicemail. Marcie calls and leaves a message that Alex’s kids are looking for her. Where the hell are you, bitch? Brad says, she’s not helping, and Marcie thinks Alex knows they’re together. He tells her to relax; it’s about his kids. She apologizes for making it about her, and he leaves. She says, bitch.

Randall sees Brad leave. Marcie says she hopes the bitch is dead, and calls Alex. She says Alex thinks she’s going to win this thing by dragging Brad out in the middle of the night, but it’s not going to work, ho. She hangs up, but decides to fill up Alex’s damn voicemail. Randall watches as Brad pulls away. He gets out of the car, and goes in the side door. He knocks, and Marcie asks if Brad forgot his key. Randall busts in, and grabs Marcie.

Next time, Esperanza finds Eddie in bed with her and Steven; Kelly tells Lushion the Bible had pictures of women and information on settlements in it; and Lushion and Brad go to Ian’s house looking for Alex.

😥 Sniff…

It looks like this will be the final season of If Loving You is Wrong. After we waited a year. It’s like Game of Thrones all over again.

https://tvline.com/2020/02/05/if-loving-you-is-wrong-cancelled-season-5-premiere-date-own/

🏥 Scheduling Details…

The skinny on how GH is handling this new normal.

https://www.soapoperanetwork.com/2020/03/abc-changes-up-gh-scheduling-due-to-coronavirus-encores-to-air-fridays

🧼 On a High…

More than one kind of soap seems to be popular these days.

https://www.soapoperanetwork.com/2020/03/days-and-gh-hit-ratings-highs

📯 FYI, Andy Cohen is apparently none the worse for the wear, and back at work, doing Watch What Happens Live from his home office.

😴 Good Thing I Don’t Need Sleep…

Oh, wait… Stay safe out there.

March 30, 2020 – By Whatever Means Necessary, a Hungry Hungry Hippo & Tonight

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

In the park, Sam asks Alexis to please call her back. She was totally out of line, and wants to apologize. Molly comes by and asks, apology for what? Sam says she was unfair to their mom last night.

Chase brings Jason into the station, and says the Commissioner asked him to bring Jason in for questions about the warehouse explosion. Jason says he has nothing to say without his attorney, and Chase says, no surprise. She’ll be right with him.

Franco and Cameron walk in the park. Franco asks Cameron how practice was, and Cameron says, good. Franco says, maybe now they’ll have a chance to talk. How is he doing? Cameron wonders if his mom wants to find out how his session went, but Franco says Elizabeth has utter respect for his privacy. Him, not so much. Tell him everything

Trina shows up at the gallery, and Ava says, please don’t tell her that she skipped school. She’s afraid of Trina’s mother. Trina says, there’s no school today, and Ava asks if Trina has nothing better to do. Trina says she does have plans. That’s the problem.

Curtis walks into Jordan’s office with her, and says, it’s nice that Taggert was added to the Roll of the Fallen at the PCPD. She says, now she’s about to expose the worst thing he did, but Curtis says she’s exposing him to save TJ’s life. He knows she has a meeting with Internal Affairs. It’s tough, but she’ll have to pull through the conversation. She says she knows what she needs to do, but throwing her team under the bus, when she’s just as guilty? She hates that.

Sonny goes into the examining room where Portia is with Mike, and says he’s bringing Mike some decent coffee. He tells Portia, no offense, but she says she’s never worked in a hospital with drinkable coffee. Josslyn comes in, and Sonny says, look who it is. Josslyn says she brought cards. She was hoping Mike could help her play solitaire, since he’s better at it than she is. Sonny tells Portia that he understands Mike is disoriented, but thinks he’ll be better when he goes back to Turning Woods. Portia says she’s afraid there’s been a new development.

Carly, Bobbie, Michael, Sasha, and Willow sit in the waiting room. Sonny has brought coffee for everyone, and Carly says he went to spend time with Mike. Willow wonders when Wiley will be out of surgery, and Bobbie says, surgery needs time and precision, especially with small children. All that matters is that Wiley is getting the help he needs. Sasha is glad Nelle had the good sense to sign the consent form, and asks what they think changed Nelle’s mind.

Elizabeth goes out on the roof, and sees someone lying under a tarp. She says, oh my God, and finds Nelle underneath it. She shakes Nelle, and says she needs Nelle to wake up. Nelle opens her eyes, and Elizabeth props her up. Nelle says, the door wouldn’t open; she was screaming for hours. Elizabeth says, Nelle was out there all night? How did that happen? Nelle says, Carly.

Curtis tells Jordan, she’s turning Taggert and the others in so they can get Cyrus’s sentence overturned and get TJ back. Then they’ll go from there, and they’ll stop Cyrus for good. For now, stay strong. Taggert would understand. Chase comes in, and tells Jordan that Jason is in the interrogation room. Jordan asks if there were any problems, and Chase says Jason isn’t talking without his attorney, and Diane is going to make sure he says nothing. She says she’s got this, and she’ll let him know if she needs him. Curtis’s phone dings, and he says Portia texted him. She just started at GH, and wants to meet if he has a minute. He wonders what she wants, and Jordan says, there’s one way to find out. They hug, and he says she’s got this.

Trina tells Ava that she had some free time, and didn’t want to hang out at home. What can she do? Ava is sure she can come up with something, but says Trina doesn’t have to work to talk to her. She’s there for Trina. Trina says, thanks, but she’s fine. She asks how Nikolas is, and Ava says, it sounds like maybe Trina doesn’t want to go where she’s planning on going later. Does she want a note from her boss, excusing her from a boring activity? Trina says, it won’t be boring, and Ava asks if somebody is trying to get her to do what she doesn’t want to. Trina says, it’s nothing like that. She’s meeting with Cameron, and thinks she messed everything up.

Franco asks Cameron if it’s too personal or too parental, but Cameron says therapy isn’t the biggest thing on his mind. He has to sort something out. Franco is glad Cameron has good friends like Josslyn and Trina, although Trina is going through a hard time. Cameron says he thinks he made it worse when he kissed her.

Sam tells Molly, she said horrible things to their mom. Molly says Alexis called her voicemail, and she did that thing where she’s trying to sound okay, but she’s upset. Sam says she doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. Molly says, Sam’s whole life exploded in her face and Sam is devastated. She gets it. Sam apologizes, saying Molly’s life is blowing up, and she’s the one going on. She didn’t even ask if Molly or TJ’s mom have heard from TJ. Did TJ’s mom say anything? Molly says she didn’t ask. When she got to Jordan’s place, Sonny and Jason were just leaving.

Jordan goes to the interrogation room, and says, it worked; they don’t suspect. She’s been running the story in her head all night. He says, take him through it, just to be sure.

Sonny asks Portia, what’s going on with his father? Portia says his vitals are fine, but when an orderly tried to put him in a wheelchair, Mike’s legs wouldn’t support him. There’s no medical reason; he responds to stimuli and his reflexes are normal. She thinks he’s refusing to walk, and Sonny asks, why? She says sometimes patients who are unsteady on their feet refuse to walk for fear of falling. Sonny says she told him that Mike wasn’t showing any signs of his wrist being hurt. What if he’s in pain, and can’t say? Portia says they can run a test to make sure Mike isn’t in pain. She leaves, and Josslyn sets up the cards.

Bobbie excuses herself, while Michael, Sasha, and Willow talk about how Wiley’s favorite thing to do is stairs. Carly says, it was the same with Michael. Sonny’s old penthouse had a lot of stairs, and every time they took their eyes off of him, he’d be racing up them. Elizabeth pushes Nelle in a wheelchair, and Michael asks, what happened? Nelle says, his mother happened. The bitch tried to kill her.

Curtis goes to Portia’s office, and she thanks him for coming. He asks why she needed to see him, and she says, to apologize about Trina. He says, Trina is a grieving teenager. If she wants to be mad at him, he can take it. Portia says she wanted to apologize again for herself too. She knows it was wrong not to tell him she was married when they got together. She had so much going on… He says, it was a lifetime ago, and she says Taggert never found out about their affair, so it remains a secret. Curtis says, it’s not a secret. He told his wife everything.

Ava tells Trina, when it comes to messing up, she has more experience than she cares to admit. Go ahead; tell her what happened. Trina says Cameron is in love with Josslyn, but Josslyn doesn’t know it. Cameron didn’t either. They were fake dating to make Oscar jealous, but she could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t fake. He still insisted he wasn’t, but she knew. And even though Josslyn doesn’t realize it, she has it in for Cameron too. That’s good, and Trina is happy; she wants that for them. In the meantime, her dad died and she got mixed up. Cameron is the only one who understood, and they got into a conversation. Ava asks if they kissed.

Franco says he thought Cameron liked Josslyn, and Cameron says they’ve known each other forever. One time, they were fake dating, and he thought she might have feelings for him, but then Oscar got sick. Franco says, and Cameron backed up because they were friends. Cameron says, friends is the operative word. Then Trina got in the mix. Franco asks how that happened, and Cameron says, because he kissed her. Franco asks if it changed how he feels about Josslyn.

Sam wonders why Sonny and Jason were at Jordan’s apartment. That’s unusual. Molly says she thought so too. What does Sam suppose they were doing there? Sam says she and Jason aren’t able to talk without violating her parole, so she has no idea what he’s up to.

Jason asks why Jordan is now bringing the issue to IA? and she says, after Taggert’s death, she reviewed his records. She was shocked to find proof that evidence was fabricated against Cyrus that led to his conviction. She tells Jason that she feels like she’s obviously nervous, and Jason says, she is, but it totally makes sense. She doesn’t want to tarnish Taggert’s memory, but she uncovered a discrepancy in the report. She says, it sounds simple, but he says, it’s not. She’s going to let Cyrus out to save her son. She says, and who cares that she’s setting free a major drug trafficker, and Taggert’s memory gets trashed?

Nelle says Carly locked her out on the roof all night. Chase arrives, and asks, what’s going on? and Nelle tells him to please arrest her. He asks, who? and Carly says, apparently her. Nelle is having another one of her delusions. Nelle says, this time, Carly went too far, and Chase asks what Nelle thinks happened. Nelle says, what she knows happened, is she was out on the roof with Michael – Michael says, that much is true – and Carly tried to convince her to sign the consent form. When she refused, Carly locked her on the roof. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what happened, but she found Nelle on the roof. Chase asks if the door was locked, and Elizabeth says it was. Nelle says, see? It was Carly, and Chase asks if it’s common for the door to be locked. Elizabeth says it is, and Chase says, so it’s possible security locked the door. Nelle says, it wasn’t security; it was Carly. Bobbie says Nelle was there after she talked to Michael, and Elizabeth says, sorry; she has to leave, and gets out while the getting’s good. Nelle says she never left the roof, but Bobbie says she did. When she signed the consent form. Nelle says she never signed it, but Bobbie says, of course (🍷) she did. Carly says Nelle should be proud of herself. She behaved like a caring mother.

Trina tells Ava, it’s not like it was romantic. They’re friends, and it was probably a reaction to trauma. Ava says, that’s a mature realization, and Trina says they talked about that at school. How you react when you experience trauma. They’d been kidnapped, and it’s understandable. Ava asks if Trina ever had feelings for Cameron before the kiss, and Trina says, it wouldn’t matter if she did. Cameron has liked Josslyn forever. Ava says, in that case, kick him to the curb. Trina is too wonderful to be anybody’s second choice.

Cameron tells Franco, he’s liked Josslyn for so long, it’s not funny. She just sees him as a friend. Franco asks if they’ve gone out since Oscar died, and Cameron says, Halloween, but he thinks they’re better off as friends. They sit on a bench, and Franco says, what about Trina? and Cameron says, Trina is amazing. She’s funny, confident, she always tells you what she thinks, and always has your back. Franco says, and she’s super cute. Cameron laughs, and says, she’s a great friend. Franco wonders if Cameron thinks she might want to be something else, and Cameron gets up.

Sam says, so Molly went to Jordan’s to find TJ, and left before she could find out if he was there. Molly says she probably had no business going there. It’s so weird; none of this is like the TJ she’s known and loved. She goes from praying he’ll walk in the door, to throwing his belongings out the door. Sam asks her to sit for a bit, and Molly asks if Sam still has limited contact with Jason, and Sam says, very limited. Her parole officer is watching them like a hawk. Molly says she knows it’s asking a lot, but can Sam see Jason and find out what’s going on for her?

Jordan says, she should take the blame for fabricating the evidence, and Jason says, then what? She goes to prison, and Cyrus goes free. It will be a field day in there. The truth is, the others did the same thing. They knew the risks, and put their careers on the line to take Cyrus down. If they had to choose between their reputations and her son’s life, does she think they’d hesitate? She says, only they would know that. She tells Jason, she has to think about this, and leaves.

Josslyn tries to get Mike to play cards, but he just stares into space. Sonny asks if Mike wants some water. They could lift the bed up, unless he doesn’t want that. He’s trying his best, and knows Mike wants to go back to Turning Woods. Josslyn tells Mike, her dad wanted to come by and visit. Maybe tomorrow he could, and they can play poker. There’s still no response, and Elizabeth comes in with a wheelchair. She tells Sonny, they want to give Mike a chance to do this on his own. She says she bets Mike is tired of being there, and says they’re taking a trip to radiology. She touches Mike, and he freaks a little, yelling, leave him alone.

Nelle says her son can’t have surgery; she won’t allow it. Michael says she did. She went with the doctors’ recommendation, and signed the form. Wiley is in surgery now. Nelle says she never agreed, but Bobbie says, the consent form is in Wiley’s chart. Nelle says it was forged, and she knows who did it. She’ll bring in a handwriting expert. She tells Chase, please arrest Carly for forgery and attempted murder. She could have frozen out there. Sasha says, but she didn’t. Bobbie comes back, and says, the form is missing. Nelle says, wait until judge the judge hears about this. They’ll never see Wiley again. She’s going to get sole custody – if Wiley makes it. Monica joins them, and says she’s glad they’re all there. She has an update on Wiley.

Jordan goes to her office, and takes a phone out of the cupboard. She makes a call, and says, it’s her. She knows she’s not supposed to call… Of course (🍷) it’s the burner phone. She wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important. She’s not sure she can go through with it, and needs to be told it’s okay.

Ava tells Trina, it’s perfectly understandable. She thinks Cameron is a terrific guy. Trina says she knows he’s into Josslyn, and Ava says all she’s saying is, Trina needs to protect herself. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone you love who loves someone else. Trina asks if that happened to Ava, and Ava says, yes. It’s completely demoralizing, and makes you behave in desperate ways you can’t imagine. Trina deserves so much better. Trina says, so what Ava is saying is, she needs to tell Cameron that the kiss was an accident, a mistake. They’re just friends. Ava tells her, don’t misunderstand. If Trina is over the moon for Cameron, she’s telling her to fight for him, but given the circumstance, if she can walk away, now is the best time to do it.

Franco tells Cameron, being friends is a great way for a relationship to start. He and Cameron’s mom were friends. He loved her for a long time, but he didn’t think someone like her could care for someone like him. He took a chance, but Cameron’s mom took a bigger one, and she makes him happy. Cameron says, they’re adults, with a marriage and kids. He’s still in high school. Franco says, if he could tell Cameron one thing, it would be this. He’s a great kid, and deserves to be happy. Cameron says he and Trina are actually meeting in a bit. So, good talk? Franco says, yeah, and Cameron asks if Franco is going to tell his mom, but Franco says, no.

Portia tells Curtis, she likes Jordan, but supposes they’ll never be friends now. Curtis says, Jordan isn’t the jealous type; he gives her no reason to be. She says, Taggert was Jordan’s partner. She’s bound to feel some type of way about Portia betraying Taggert with him. There’s not enough understanding in the world for that. Curtis says, Jordan has a big job with a lot of responsibility. She can’t afford to take things personally. Portia is afraid Trina will find out. Trina thinks Taggert hung moon. Curtis asks how Trina is, and she says she’s watching Trina closely. Her friends are great, and Trina takes pride in everyone saying her dad died a hero. The PCPD added him to the Roll of the Fallen. Curtis says he saw that today, and she says she wants to take Trina to see it. She can take comfort in knowing her dad is finally getting the recognition he deserves.

Jordan puts the phone back, and there’s a knock at her office door. An officer says the guy from IA is there, and a man comes in. He introduces himself as Detective Cliff Simpson. She says she’s been expecting him, and he suggests they get right to it. She has information regarding the undercover operation that led to Cyrus Renault’s conviction? He’s looked through the folder, and most of it is  redacted. She says she was part of the task force that put Cyrus away.

Mike tells them, don’t touch him, but Elizabeth says, it’s okay; he’s safe. No one is going to hurt him; only help him. Sonny says they shouldn’t have touched him, and Josslyn says, they’re his family. They should be able to help. Sonny says, sometimes you can’t. Josslyn says, Elizabeth has been trained, and knows what to do, but Sonny says, Mike doesn’t see it that way. Josslyn hugs him.

Nelle asks if Wiley is okay. Did he not make it? Carly tells her to stop, and Monica tells them, Dr. Bedlow said the procedure went fine; Wiley came through with flying colors, and is in recovery. Michael hugs Willow, and Monica says, for the time being. The case was more severe than anticipated. Nelle says, so the surgery didn’t work? Monica says, Wiley is more comfortable than before, but is going to need a device installed in his heart that stimulates tissue growth and repairs it. Nelle says, so their illegal surgery didn’t work? and Monica says, illegal? Nelle says, the consent form was forged, and now it’s missing. Carly says she’s sure it will turn up.

Carly asks when they can see Wiley, and Nelle says, how about never? She wants Carly arrested for fraud, forgery, assault, and attempted murder. Carly says, Nelle is alive and well, and they only have her word. Chase says if Nelle insists on having Carly arrested, they’ll both have to come to the station to answer questions. Does Nelle wish to proceed? Michael tells her to take into consideration that she’ll be at the police station when Wiley wakes up, but he’ll be by Wiley’s side. Nelle says she’d only waste her time, since they’ll cover for each other anyway. She’ll sue the hospital. Monica tells her, good luck with that, and Nelle says, from now on, she wants any consent from her in writing and backed up verbally. Monica says, duly noted, and Michael thanks Monica. He hugs Carly, and thanks her for everything. She says, of course (🍷). She has to check on Mike, and as for everything, it will be fine with Wiley.

Portia tells Curtis, Taggert was married to his job long before he married her. She couldn’t reconcile coming in second. Things are different for Curtis and Jordan. They’re both in law enforcement, and understand the sacrifices that have to be made. He says, Jordan is determined to make a difference. Taggert took a risk with Cyrus. Portia says she knows; he told her. He knew she hated the constant worrying, and told her what he could safely tell her, so she didn’t imagine the worst.

Jordan tells Cliff, she was the person on the inside. They acted as distributors to gain information regarding the case. Cliff asks why she revisited the case now after all these years, and she says, the other three on the task force are dead.

Sam calls Jason, and asks where he is. He says he’s just leaving the PCPD; Jordan wanted to talk to him. She says, there was a development last night, and he asks if it’s bad? She says she kind of needs to talk to him face to face.

Cameron waits in the park. Trina arrives, and they smile at each other.

Carly goes to Mike’s room, and Josslyn hugs her. Sonny asks about Wiley, and Carly says, he got through surgery. Sonny says, and the prognosis? but she says they’ll talk later. How’s Mike? He says Mike just got back from a full body scan. They’re trying to figure out why he can’t walk. Carly knows it’s rough on Sonny, and Josslyn says, it’s better now that Carly is there. Sonny agrees.

Portia tells Curtis that her and Taggert’s communication issues didn’t help an already struggling marriage. He tried tell her as much as he could; at least at the beginning. Curtis says, an ongoing investigation is tricky, and Portia knows there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her. There was a lot she didn’t want know, but even when they were breaking up, she cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her.

Jordan tells Cliff, she needed to understand why they were killed. They’d helped do the impossible, bring Cyrus to justice. Cliff understands that Jordan needs answers, but what does that have to do with Internal Affairs?

Jason says he wants to see Sam too, but they have to be careful. Is she okay? She says, it’s Molly. She hasn’t heard from TJ in a while. Does he know anything? He wonders why she’s asking him, and she says because Molly saw him and Sonny leaving Jordan’s apartment. Why were they there? Jason says, she’s right; they should talk in person. Meet in the usual place. She says she’s on her way.

On the phone, Nelle says she doesn’t care how busy Zara is. She needs to see her now. Carly thinks she won this round, but Nelle is going to get the last word.

Bobbie tells Monica, Wiley got the help he needs for now; that’s the most important thing. Monica says, it all worked for the best. Too bad the form went missing. Bobbie remembers taking the form out of Wiley’s chart, and putting it into the paper shredder. Monica says, good thing Wiley has two great grandmothers looking out for him.

Sasha asks Michael how Wiley is, and he says, Wiley is a champ. Chase says, congratulations, but do him a favor. Never tell him what happened. Willow wonders what about the second surgery, and Michael says it’s all he’s been thinking about. Nelle has proven she can’t have a say in Wiley’s medical decisions. There’s only one solution. He has to win full custody – whatever it takes.

Tomorrow, Laura asks Mac what’s going on, Neil asks if he can help Alexis, and Jordan tells Cliff that they conspired to tamper with evidence.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

On the beach, Jenna asks if Madison has a wine bucket. Madison shakes her head, and Jenna points to the mess of supplies in a jumble, and says, this sh*t can’t be here. She adds that Madison needs to put a bra on. In Madison’s interview, she says, okay, whatever.

Byron borrows Captain Glenn’s glasses, and the captain says they make him look intelligent. Byron asks if he can buy them, and Captain Glenn says, $500. Yana starts getting impatient, and says someone needs to tell the crew that they’re ready to go. Georgia radios Jenna that the guests are ready. Adam thinks they need a whole new set-up. In Jenna’s interview, she says the guests spend tens of thousands to do this. Now they’re sitting on a sh*t pile. It’s embarrassing. Madison says, it’s windy, and Adam suggests moving the table. In his interview, he asks, how hard can it be? Move the chairs out of the wind, put the umbrella in the ground, and get your head out of your ass. Arthur asks for tequila, and Georgia tells him, drink responsibly, but he says he’s not driving. Adam says everything will look better with the umbrella up. In Adam’s interview, he says they talk so much sh*t, but what they’ve been doing for five hours, he doesn’t know.

Paget asks Parker, what happened? and Parker tells him, everyone is doing a good job. He’s staying out of it. Madison whines to Ciara that Jenna is being bitchy. It’s complaint after complaint where it concerns her. Parker wonders about Jenna and Madison getting along for the rest of the season, but Jenna has no words. Back on the boat, Madison grumbles to Georgia that she’s frustrated, and a blood vessel popped in her eye because she’s literally exhausted. The guests get on the tender, while Adam grills on the beach. Georgia radios the guests are on their way, and Jenna says, sounds like a plan. In Adam’s interview, he says he lives for outdoor excursions. His father was a Boy Scout, and so was he. It makes him recall his childhood, and cooking over a fire. He thinks the best food is the least fancy, and it’s not so much about service or presentation, but about taste.

The guests reach the shore, and Adam welcomes them. They think it looks amazing, and sit down. Yana says, they have arrived, and Adam serves local oysters. Guest Carla asks if they’re being served, or do they have to pass it around? Guest CC thinks it’s phenomenal. Back at the boat, Georgia is thrilled that Jenna is trusting her enough to do the party. It’s nice to feel like she’s getting acknowledgement, and it’s a change of pace. Madison cleans the cabins.

Paget tells Jenna that Madison has a super crush on Parker. Jenna says, they’re both irritating, and she and Paget laugh. Georgia decorates with balloons, and dresses up the table. She thinks any self-respecting woman would find it a bit much. Adam serves the entrée, and tells the guests that he loves to cook over a fire. It adds flavor to the food that you can reminisce about. Yana is happy, but Carla is afraid to eat the asparagus because of the way it makes your urine smell. I knew that, but what’s really amusing is, it’s what I’m eating right now. TMI, I know, but what are the odds? It’s time to go, and Jenna tells the guests there are three desserts waiting on boat the boat. Yana says that’s her kind of dessert situation, and I wonder if she means eating them or just looking at them. CC wants to be carried back to the tender, and Paget obliges. Carla wants the same treatment, which is no surprise since she’s a huge baby.

Georgia asks how Madison is doing, and Madison says, great, but not really. The guests come back, and Yana thinks the décor is cute, and the color coordination is beautiful. Arthur tells her, happy birthday, and Georgia is thrilled the guests are pleased. Paget tells Ciara to start getting the sh*t together from the beach. Jenna tells Madison to put everything away, and Madison gripes to Georgia that Jenna is breaking her pretty good. Arthur brings out the cake, while Adam follows with two cobblers. Arthur bends over to kiss Yana, and hits his head on the sail when he stands back up, which is pretty funny. Yana says, it’s the best berry cobbler ever, but again isn’t specific about whether she means the taste or the visual. Ciara tells Paget, it’s hard when they’re the only two on beach clean-up, and asks him for a hand unloading. The guests go to bed. In Madison’s interview, she says she feels like she might like Parker, but… She shrugs. At 4 am, Parker gets up to find a note from Madison – written at 3:10 – and breakfast she made for him. So much for her being so tired.

Georgia reads a note hanging in the laundry to Paget that says, if you’re not Georgia, don’t handle other people’s clothing. Anchor is picked up, the guests get up, and the boat heads out. Arthur asks Captain Glenn if they’ll sail today, and the captain says, probably later. Breakfast is served, and Carla wonders if someone can make her a plate, because it’s so hard. And those are her words, not mine. In Jenna’s interview, she wonders how hard it is for Carla to get up off her ass. Should she chew it up, and baby bird feed it to Carla too? Parker tells Paget and Ciara about Madison making him breakfast and leaving a sweet note. He says she likes him, and Paget says, obviously. In Parker’s interview, he says Madison is his best friend on the boat. She’s his Lil’ Kim. A producer asks what he means, and he says he’d go in a mosh pit with her. Anchor is dropped.

Jenna tells the guests, today’s plan is for water sports and snorkeling. Paget and Ciara put the floating deck out, and Parker tries to school Ciara. The guests ask for a pitcher of pina coladas, and Madison asks Jenna to make them. Parker wants to make a game plan with the guests, and in Ciara’s interview, she says it’s not Parker’s job, but if he wants to put his ideas to the test, she’ll let him. Parker says he’s going to do an island recon, figure out what area is good for snorkeling, and report back. He tells the captain that the guests want him to go underwater and find out where the snorkeling is good. Which is not at all what just happened. The guests look at a parasailer, and CC thinks it looks boring. To their credit, the rest of them just look at her while crickets chirp. Jenna tells Adam that Madison stayed up until 3 am to make breakfast and write a love note for Parker. Adam thinks Madison needs more professionalism, and kisses Jenna.

With Parker still gone, the guests mess around on their phones, and Jenna looks for a backgammon game. Paget radios Parker, and asks what his ETA is, but gets literal radio silence. That’s because Parker is busy enjoying snorkeling. He says he forget how creepy it is by yourself. Apparently not so creepy that he’s not taking his sweet time. He asks a guy passing by if there are any good areas, and the guy points one out. Carla wonders how long it takes, as Parker marvels over a sea turtle. Finally, he radios that he’s on his way back. In his interview, he says, being the James Bond of yachting comes in handy. He doesn’t stop when he’s tired, he stops when he’s done. What is with this guy? He calls Byron, and says the engine temperature is going from 100 to 120, and asks what to do.

In his interview, Parker says he’s out by himself, hoping to make the captain proud, and this sh*t has to go down. Byron explains that the sea water coming through the bottom of the boat goes through a strainer, and tells Parker to check the basket; it’s probably full of sand, and the water can’t get through, so it hasn’t cooled. 85 to 90 is the prime temperature of the engine. It can get damaged if it overheats, and it’s an expensive repair. Yana says, Minecraft is expensive, to no one in particular, and I’m kind of surprised she plays that game. Parker tells Byron the window is so cloudy, he can’t see the basket. Ciara asks if Parker is breaking the tender. Byron tells him to close the valve, and stop the water coming in. In Ciara’s interview, she says, Parker’s confidence level is here – holding her hand up high – and his ability is here – holding her hand way down. Parker tells Byron the  temperature is now 89, and Byron says he’s good to go. In Parker’s interview, he says he’s proud of himself. He now knows how to change a filter. Byron asks Captain Glenn how much Parker’s salary is, and the captain says, he’d be paying for the tender for the rest of his life. His children might have to work toward it. Irritated by the delay, Yana asks Arthur if they can get a portion of their money back. He doesn’t think so, but wishes he had a hammock. I get the vibe that Arthur isn’t too ambitious on this trip. Jenna asks if Georgia would like to perform with Parker at dinner. In Captain Glenn’s interview, he says he’s all about giving the guests the best experience, so as long as Parker found great spot and they have a great time, he’s good. He tells Parker that they’re setting sail at 6 pm, and it’s 4 pm now. Parker says they’ll be back by 5:30.

Georgia calls Paget to get the seat covers from the laundry, but probably it’s really to flirt. At the snorkeling spot, Parker blows up a pink flamingo floatie. Arthur is hesitant to snorkel, but Parker says there’s nothing in the water that will hurt him. In a horror movie, this is where the giant alligator would swallow Arthur whole. A couple of the guests use the paddleboards, and Carla falls off hers. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person. Georgia sprays Paget with Febreze, which must be some new kind of seduction technique. Madison wants some coffee, but Jenna says there’s no time for that. In Jenna’s interview, she says, Madison is often doing what she didn’t ask her to do, instead of what she needs to do. Parker returns, and says the guests had a blast. They saw fish. Georgia tells him about Jenna’s request that they entertain the guests. Captain Glenn gets ready to set sail. Yana wonders if sails are always so slow to go up, and Byron says, it’s faster than doing it by hand. The captain shows Yana and Arthur how to bring up the sails, and Yana says, it’s a true boating experience. As they sail, the boat starts to lean sideways, and the crew grabs for stuff. Carla says they now have rosé salsa, and I wonder if these spoiled babies will be tipping at all.

Captain Glenn asks if Yana and Arthur want to take a chance at turning the wheel; it’s fun. Arthur gives it a shot. Yana wants Arthur to take photos of her while they still have the light. Because the first million photos aren’t enough. The boat is anchored down at Issos Beach in Corfu. Jenna radios Madison to help with dinner service. Parker gets a text from ex Kaiti, saying she wants to swim in the ocean with him. He tells Ciara, Kaiti is the love of his life. She asks, what happened? and he says Kaiti wanted space. She asks if it’s temporary, and if there will be the option of getting back together, and he says he hopes so. He texts back that he’s been thinking about Kaiti. Adam is glad the picture taking is buying him time, and Jenna asks if the guests would like drinks. In her interview, she says, come on, Madison. It’s stewing 101.

Lightening strikes in the distance, and the guests think it’s cool. It reminds me of the time I was having lunch in a restaurant right on the water and a storm came up. Lightening struck, and everyone in the restaurant went, oooh, at the same time. Dinner is served, and Yana thanks Adam for making it skinny. Arthur says Yana has eaten more today than in the last month. In Adam’s interview, he says Yana challenged him with her preference sheet, and now she’s like a hungry, hungry hippo. She can’t get enough. Madison tells Georgia, how Jenna speaks to her is not okay. She can’t do anything right. Georgia tells Parker to get his guitar. In Georgia’s interview, she says music is her number one passion, and any opportunity to play, or even practice, is welcome. She plays in dive bars, and has some traction in South Africa. She’s a medium sized fish in a small pond. Madison says the turndowns are almost done, and Adam serves chocolate mousse. He tells them, it’s very rich, so don’t feel like they have to eat all of it. Arthur says, there are starving children in Ethiopia, and Yana says, how romantic.

Jenna tells Madison, the floors aren’t done; there’s garbage all over the place. We see she’s not kidding, and in her interview, Jenna tells us, she’s not saying that to be a bitch. Madison is clearly not capable of the level of service required on a yacht. She asks if Madison went by the checklist, and Madison says, no; sorry. Yana tells the other guests that she was already struck by lightning (which might explain a few things), so they’re safe. One of them asks if she buys lottery tickets. Madison is annoyed that she has to finish some laundry tasks, and bitches at Georgia. Jenna comes by, and asks, what’s up? Madison says they’re having a conversation about turndowns and laundry, and Jenna says she can see that, and she’s asking because she’s their boss. Madison says, there are too many cooks, and in her interview, says she’s tired of Jenna sh*tting on her number two, which is her. Jenna asks if they’re good, and leaves. Georgia tells Madison, sorry, and they both say they appreciate each other.

While the guests have dessert, Georgia plays guitar and sings, while Parker accompanies her on the harmonica. Adam hugs Jenna from behind as she washes dishes, and Madison stomps around, being pissed off. The guests love the music, and a storm plays in the background. In her interview, Georgia says, yachting will always be her mistress, but music is her number one. Parker is blown away by Georgia’s talent.

In Jenna’s interview, she says, when she started in yachting, she was thankful. She was getting paid well, and could see the world. She doesn’t think it’s as meaningful to these girls as it was to her. She tells Madison to go to bed 30 minutes after the guests do; she needs sleep. Madison whines to Ciara that Adam and Jenna are kissing in the crew mess, while they’re working and hanging out there. She says it’s so unprofessional. Jenna has only known Adam for three weeks; she’s had manicures that lasted longer. Ciara says her and Paget have been together three years, and Madison says they deserve respect. Jenna and Adam’s relationship has no redeeming qualities.

In Madison’s interview, she says she’s supposed to go to bed, but she’s not going to. Don’t tell her how to live her life. Parker asks if she wants to look at the stars, and they go up on deck. Parker asks if she wants to yacht forever, and she says, f*** no. She wants to be in the fashion industry. He thinks she’d fit in well in NYC. Nope. She’d actually have to do real work. In Parker’s interview, he says Madison might like him, but things are stirring up with Kaiti. He has quite a conundrum. He texts with Kaiti.

Jenna tells Georgia that it was clear Madison was passing the buck when she interrupted them, and Georgia thanks her for stepping in. In Georgia’s interview, she says she loves Madison, but she’s emotionally charged, and everything is a personal attack. Jenna respects her enough to treat her lovely, so she’s just trying to keep the peace. Captain Glenn says he’s ready to lift anchor. Ciara says, if Paget loves her, why didn’t he get her coffee. He tells her, get up earlier.

Captain Glenn says the docking is going to be a snug fit. In his interview, he says they’re assigned spot is quite tight. The captain says it’s going to be a challenge, and they need extra eyes. They could hit the dock or the boat, and that would be intense. Paget radios Jenna, asking if she can spare two of her workers, which is really all she has, but of course she says yes. Ohh, they show us the space from above, and that is tight. Ciara goes out on the tender to the dock. In Paget’s interview, he says, on either side is a big expensive piece of machinery, and they don’t want to hurt the other boats. I gasp, since I think it’s the tightest squeeze I’ve seen on one of these shows.

As they pull in, I have a new respect for Captain Glenn. In his interview, he says, all in day’s work. It’s time to say goodbye to the guests, and they all say it was an amazing experience. Arthur says he didn’t know what to expect, and now they’re like family. Yana says Jenna read her mind, and for Adam, she has no words, except she needs to get to the gym. As the guests walk down the dock, the captain blows the horn, and they wave. The crew is called to the charter debrief.

The captain says, it was tough for some people, and Paget says, the barbecue was tough. Adam says, if you pick the wrong spot, it’s a waste of time. Madison carps that it was windy, and Adam says, if it’s the tip of a peninsula, there’s going to be wind. Jenna thinks it was successful. Captain Glenn says the tip was $17K or $1880 each, which is a surprise to me, but so was Arthur’s family comment. The captain tells them, they have the day off tomorrow to relax. He’s going to anchor in a beach bar area, and the next day he’ll bring the yacht back for their next charter. Right now, it’s time for champagne. He tells them, if there’s no eye contact during a toast, it’s seven years of bad sex, and Paget says he doesn’t need any more bad sex. Ciara is like, what? Madison complains to Paget that Jenna’s bitchiness is not warranted.

Jenna meets with Captain Glenn, and tells him Georgia is doing well, but she has a problem with Madison. She needs to manage her time better. She has the skills to be a second stew, but when she’s not sleeping properly, there are significant issues. The captain says they’re supposed to have a break so they can keep going, and Jenna says, when Madison is running around frantically, it’s because she’s staying up later than necessary. Then she’s telling everyone that she’s exhausted. She says, Madison has feelings for Parker, and Captain Glenn says, that’s why she’s up, since he’s on late watch. He says, Madison needs to take a break, and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Jenna says, if this continues, they’ll have to find a solution. The captain asks if Jenna is looking at possibly replacing Madison.

Next time, off time at the beach bar, Georgia thinks she’s agreeing to a threesome, and Adam is jealous that Jenna went to Universal Studios with Georgia’s ex.

🧗🏽‍♂️ Preparing For Temptation Tuesday…

If Loving You Is Wrong is back, and so is my long Tuesday night. See you then. In the meantime, stay safe out there, and enjoy not-quite a scene from Hamilton.

March 29, 2020 – Alpha Haunts Carol, a Comparison, Dead On Hold, Doing Well, Pink’s Cut, Jill’s Secret, Fiona Fun & Beta’s Song

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

The Walking Dead

Negan sits in his cell in Alexandria. The cell door opens, and he says, as he lives and breathes. It’s Carol, and he says he thought Gabriel was coming down to give him last rights. She asks if he wants forgiveness, but he says he’s done what he’s done, and he’s not getting on his knees. She asks what he wants, and he says, TiVo, a beer, and some rocky road ice cream. What does it matter to her? She says, what if he didn’t have to die? and he says he didn’t know she had a say on the kangaroo council. She says she’s not there for the council, and he says he’s getting that. What he doesn’t get is, why she’s dealing with him instead of lining up the skin queen in her crosshairs? She asks what he thinks this is, and he smiles. He says, damn. Word has it, she’s certainly a badass, but she missed her shot. What happens if he muffs it? It will make things worse for everyone, and despite what people think, he’s not down with that. Carol says they need this done; it will help everyone there. He asks what he gets out of it, and she says he’s been eating whatever sh*t they throw his way, hoping they forget. They won’t. Not unless he does something to make them forget. Bring her Alpha’s head, and that’s what people will remember him for. She’ll make sure of it. He has her word, but do it fast.

Carol puts Alpha’s head on a pike, and steps back to admire her work. Negan says, it’s what she wanted. Alpha’s mouth continues to move, making zombie gurgles, and Negan suggests they get moving. It was their deal; start spreading the news. She asks, what took him so long? and he says, doing her dirty work? He guesses he wanted get out with his head attached. Sh*t like that takes time. He’s held up his end, and he’s asking her to hold up hers. He wants to open a new chapter in the Book of Negan. She says they’re not going back; not yet. He says he can’t go back alone without a noose immediately being tied around his neck, and she says, then wait. She starts to walk, and he asks how long she’s taking. She says he’s free. Now he can do whatever he wants. Wait or don’t; it’s up to him. She says she needs to be alone. Sh*t like that takes time.

Dianne tells Ezekiel that he did good, but he says he got lucky. It doesn’t absolve his failings. Jerry tells him to take it easy on himself, but Ezekiel says, these days mistakes stick easier than trials. He and Jerry hug Magna, and Ezekiel says he’s so sorry. She says she’s okay.

Rosita checks out her wound, and Eugene asks how she feels. She says, all right, and he says they can bring her to see Alex when they find him. She says they don’t have to. He has to go; tell them already. Eugene stands up, and gets everyone’s attention. He says he has something he needs to confess. He’s been communicado on the radio with someone outside of their orbit; a new person. They’ve set up a time to meet. Yumiko asks who it is, and he says, her name is Stephanie. She’s from another community. Jerry asks what it is, and Dianne says, he’s meeting her? Magna says, she could be a spy, and Yumiko asks how long Eugene has been talking to her. Ezekiel says he has some of the same questions, but if Eugene’s instincts are that Stephanie is a new ally, they should hear him out before they jump to conclusions. They’re all on the same side. Eugene says some of them are aware that he relocated to Hilltop to make a metaphorically fresh start. He struggled, burying himself in work and community duties, and the voice in the void became a friend. Some might think he’s foolish, but spare him their derision. After what just happened, he’s willing to be a fool, and believes new good people are worth the risk.

Magna sits outside, and Yumiko joins her. Yumiko says, Magna can and should take her horse and go with them. She’s never wanted to be cooped up. She can go back out on road, and have an adventure. Look forward, not back. Magna says she likes it there. Some routine might be good for her. Someone else can have an adventure and meet new people. It’s okay. Yumiko says she’d be leaving at the worst time, but Magna says, there’s nothing to fix. Go. Yumiko leaves.

Ezekiel gets his horse ready, and Jerry asks if he’s really going. Ezekiel says he is, but Jerry doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Ezekiel says, because he’s sick? Jerry says, because he’ll miss Ezekiel. He can’t stop a man willing to be foolish. Ezekiel says, or a fool willing to believe in future friends. It’s enough for now. He tells Jerry, the Kingdom needs him. Make sure the legacy lives on. Jerry says he’s got it, and they hug.

Alpha’s head moves its mouth as Beta approaches with two Whisperers. One says, he’s the Alpha now, and Beta tells him that Alpha can hear him. Take off his mask (that’s never good), and hear her. He tells the guy to move forward, and asks if he’s listening. What is she saying to him? Beta he pushes him closer, and says, just listen. He pushes the guy’s head near Alpha’s mouth, and she bites his ear, pulling it off. The other guy takes off, as we all would. Beta says, just listen, and I wonder how he’s going to do that with no ear. Beta shoves him aside, and takes down Alpha’s head, cradling it in his arms.

Negan goes to the cabin where Lydia was being held. He sees she’s gone, and says, sh*t. Daryl puts a crossbow in Negan’s face, and asks where Alpha is. Negan says, she’s dead; he killed her. Daryl calls him a liar, but he says he’s not lying. He has something in his pocket; it’s not a weapon. He’s going to do a slow reach. He pulls Alpha’s mask out of his pocket, and shows Daryl. He says the whole reason he threw in with them was to get close enough to slit Alpha’s throat, and silence Alpha. Why else does Daryl think his girlfriend let him out of his cell?

Carol walks through the woods, and hears her name being whispered. She hears it more clearly, and turns to see Alpha. Alpha says she’s always watching.

Beta strolls along with the Whisperer bitten by Alpha, who starts coughing. A zombie comes by, and the guy moves to kill it, but Beta shoves him down. The zombie descends on the guy, and finishes him off. Beta listens to Alpha’s head, that he’s now carrying in a bag. He hears a noise, and moves toward it.

Beta goes inside a hotel, and shoves things aside, even though he doesn’t need to. He puts Alpha’s head down, and picks up a note. He reads, these 2 eyes see 1 truth. He sees a gun on the floor, and looks up at a poster for the band Half Moon. He rips it down, and smashes a nearby guitar.

Alpha tells Carol, she’s lost. So was her boy. She sent him away, and he never came back. He died out there, alone and afraid, just like Sophia. She respects what Carol did. Negan drew the blade, but Carol ended her, like a true Alpha. Carol says, stop it, and Alpha asks if she regrets it. Carol says she doesn’t, and Alpha says people were hurt in the name of vengeance, and now she can’t go back. They don’t accept what she’s done, but maybe they would if she says she’s sorry. Sorry you’re mad; please don’t be mad at me. She tried being on her own before, but they always pull her back. She’s always wanting more; love, motherhood, death. They don’t know what she truly wants. Admit it. What does she want? Say it. A zombie pops out of a tree, and Carol spears it through the throat and into the head. She says she wants to be alone, but Alpha says, that’s not it.

Eugene, Ezekiel, and Yumiko head out on horses. Ezekiel wonders if the new community will be handy, and Yumiko asks what Eugene thinks about that. He says his mother was a pistol, but he remembered something kind she’d done. She used to get him chocolate bunnies at Easter. Biting their heads off made him upset, but he associates it with family.  Yumiko says, please don’t tell her that they’re on this journey for chocolate bunnies. Eugene says he’s on the journey for the future hope of mankind, but candy would be nice. He asks if Ezekiel is okay, and Ezekiel says he’s not the best audience at the moment. They ride past a cage with two zombies in it, and Yumiko wonders if it’s a trap. Eugene doesn’t think that’s the modus operandi, but Ezekiel says, they’re not alone. Who would do this? Yumiko suggests they take the time to investigate in case it’s a warning.

Off by himself, Ezekiel gets off his horse. He sees some wandering zombies, and kills them. He coughs and stumbles, as another one comes closer, but he manages to stab it. He sits on a fallen tree. Yumiko says, all clear, and calls to him. He says he’s coming. All clear here.

Negan, his hands bound behind his back, walks in front of Daryl. He says, this follow-the-leader routine is like déjà vu. It’s the same way it went down with Alpha. He tells Daryl to get pissed at his gal pal for not letting him in on the plan. He’s pissed too. The lone wolf isn’t thinking of the pack. Daryl says the children at Hilltop almost died because of Negan. Although I’m not sure how Daryl came to that conclusion.

Beta looks at a record album, Half Moon Live in Concert. He puts on a turntable, and I try not to think about why the turntable works when there’s no electricity, and any batteries in it would have leaked or gone dead by now. The music draws zombies to the hotel.

Carol goes to the cabin, and Alpha says, this is her plan? and calls Carol brainless. She had no peace on the ocean, thinking about Alpha, and wondering where they’re going to land, and looking for sign. Give it up. If Alpha knows the truth, so does she. Hear her. Carol gets up on a stepladder, and fiddles with something on the ceiling, but the whole thing caves in, and she falls, the ceiling and everything surrounding her falling on top of her. Alpha says, she’s stupid too.

Negan leads Daryl to where Alpha’s head was, and tells Daryl, it was right here, on this spike. They can wait there for Carol. Daryl says take him to Lydia, but Negan asks what he’s talking about. Why would he stash her out there unless it was to keep her safe? He used her as bait to get Alpha alone. What’s wrong? He didn’t do it fast enough? It took a minute; he had to get her trust. He wasn’t going off half-cocked on a suicide mission. Daryl says, it was because Negan liked it. They hear the sound of a gun cocking, and some Whisperers step out of the woods, one of them holding a shotgun. Daryl drops his crossbow, and one of them says, Alpha is dead because of Negan. Kneel to the new Alpha. They kneel, and Negan laughs.

The music plays, while zombies gather. Beta stands above them, on the balcony, his arms outstretched. He smiles, something we’ve never seen, and pulls half of his mask off.

Negan tells Daryl, sorry. He’s savoring the moment. Daryl’s wrists are now tied, while Negan is free, and Negan says he’s taking his sweet-ass time. All right, fellas, down to business. Wait one damn minute. He’s the Alpha, right? He’s a bit confused. If he’s the Alpha, why is someone who’s not the Alpha holding the badass shotgun? The Whisperer holding the gun gives it to Negan, who says, that’s what he’s talking about. It feels good. He’s never had a kid of his own, but if he did, he imagines this is what it’s like holding your baby for the first time. But it turns out his baby can kill people by spitting bullets at them. He wants Daryl to kneel to the Alpha, and the Whisperers try to push Daryl down, but he shrugs them off and kneels. Negan says, it’s starting to get real now, ain’t it? Daryl was right when he said Negan liked it. In fact – he points the gun at Daryl – he likes it a lot. Daryl says Negan should probably shoot him, and Negan says, don’t threaten him with a good time. Negan shoots two Whisperers, and stabs the other in the head. When they’re down, Daryl tells Negan, untie me, a-hole, and Negan laughs.

Ezekiel, Eugen, and Yumiko sit by a fire, when Ezekiel’s horse suddenly whinnies and keels over. I had to look away here – that’s right, I can watch a million people get their heads stomped, but I cannot bear for an animal to be hurt. Ezekiel tells his horse, it’s not going to hurt anymore, and puts the horse out of its misery. Yumiko tells him that she’s sorry, and he says he shouldn’t have come. She asks, why? and he says, if he falls, they have to promise to leave him behind. His horse wasn’t strong enough to make the journey. Maybe he’s not either. He’s okay with that, but not with putting them at risk. Yumiko asks if he wants to turn back because of what might happen, and he says, it’s for the best. She says they don’t know what lies ahead; no one does. She had all these plans for her life, and for what? She’s here to find out what’s possible. None of them can predict or imagine what’s ahead, but she knows who they need with them. A man who built a kingdom.

Carol lies under the rubble, as a zombie pulls itself out of the creek nearby. Alpha says, her mom used to say, everything works out the way it’s supposed to, and Carol tells her, shut up already. The zombie crawls toward what’s left of the cabin, and Alpha says, this way, friend. Is Carol ready for them, and to see how this ends? No one is coming to save her. Not Ezekiel, and certainly not Daryl. Not after what she did to Connie. The zombie, who’s pretty well deteriorated, starts pushing through the slats in the wall. Alpha says, no matter what Carol does, she loses people. If she goes back, Daryl could be next. Carol says she won’t let that happen. She knows what she has to do. Alpha says, it could have been anyone, but they chose her. She gets the job done. Carol struggles, and Alpha tells her, look at the flowers like she’s supposed to. One…two… The zombie pushes through, but Carol pulls herself out, takes out her knife, and stabs it in the head. She collapses, and Alpha is gone.

Ezekiel now rides behind Yumiko. They ride down a highway, seeing a city in the distance.

Negan drinks from a canteen, and passes it to Daryl. They sit side by side, each facing a different way. Negan says, not to be a spinning record, but he doesn’t think Carol is coming back. He’s not bullsh*tting Daryl. Daryl says he knows, and Negan tells him, when he said he liked it, that wasn’t part of the act. Daryl says he knows. Negan says, when Daryl’s people locked him up, he lost everything. He spent seven years staring out that little window. It sucked so bad, even his memories have bars painted on them. When Alpha took him in, he admits he liked it. It was nice, feeling like he mattered again, and being respected, but she took it too far. You don’t kill people who don’t deserve it, and you never kill kids. Daryl asks if that’s supposed to make him like Negan, and Negan says, no. Daryl says, good, and Negan asks, what about his winning personality? Daryl gets up, and starts to walk. Negan asks, what about Carol? and follows.

Carol walks to the gate, and Daryl opens it. She walks in, and neither one of them says anything. Daryl closes the gate.

Eugene, Yumiko, and Ezekiel ride into the city. They go past a store, where a zombie in costume is tied to a rocker. The look into a café, where two zombies sit with martinis. Another sits on a delivery cart. It’s like a weird Disney ride, with zombies in various tableaus. They look around, and find one in a car, handcuffed to the steering wheel, while a police zombie is about to give them a ticket. Ezekiel starts to laugh and point. He laughs so hard, he has to wipe tears from his eyes. They see a pile of bones on the ground, wearing a boa, and a voice says, oh my God! Hi! A woman, also wearing a boa, and dressed sort of like Madonna, circa the late 80s, stands in front of them, holding an automatic weapon. (For those who are familiar with the comics, it’s Princess.)

Beta takes out the note, and says, someday we’ll rise. He takes Alpha’s head out of the bag, and says, thank you. He sees now, like she does. He puts a knife through Alpha’s head, and sits nose to nose with her for a moment. Zombies clamor at the hotel door.

Beta opens the hotel door, and walks out. He walks through the crowd of zombies, and they follow him as he walks down the street.

Next time – the last episode before the finale – Alpha says we walk, Judith and Daryl run from zombies, and Aaron and Alden hide to watch Beta.

🐭 On Talking Dead: Home Edition, comedian Ron Funches thought the zombie tableaus were like the ones at Chuck E. Cheese, but not as frightening. I couldn’t agree more.

⚰️ Postponing Dead…

News about the finale.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/paultassi/2020/03/25/the-walking-dead-forced-to-delay-season-10-finale-due-to-pandemic-shutdown/#3f112691bcc2

👍🏼 They’re Fine…

While I’m by no means downplaying the seriousness of the current world situation, there is good news that most of those who aren’t in a high risk group only experience mild to moderate symptoms.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1131526/game-of-thrones-star-kristofer-hivju-tests-positive-for-coronavirus

https://www.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital/chloe-lanier-shares-health-update

✂️ Celebrities; They’re Just Like Us…

I’ve never given myself a haircut while drunk, but when I had my first apartment, I did let my next door neighbor cut my hair when we’d been drinking. It wasn’t awful. And it grew out.

https://extratv.com/2020/03/25/p-nk-gave-herself-a-haircut-while-drinking-at-home-see-the-results/?adid=extra_eme_27439_2020-03-26_rightnow4

🗽 You Still Don’t Get Your Apple Back…

That Jill Zarin. Always full of surprises.

https://www.realitytea.com/2020/03/27/ally-shapiro-learned-jill-zarin-used-a-sperm-donor-to-conceive-her-by-snooping-through-jills-emails/

🦛 Something Fun…

While housebound, you can find loads of fun, free things on the internet. Museum and city tours, concerts, Doug the Pug’s workout on Instagram, and Fiona!

https://www.eonline.com/news/1131307/fiona-the-hippo-to-star-in-cincinnati-zoo-s-home-safari-video-series-amid-school-closures

🎼 Helping Ryan Rock…

The Half Moon song Beta listened to tonight was written by Emily Kinney who played Beth many seasons ago.

Stay safe out there.

Beta’s Half Moon Song on ‘The Walking Dead’: Full Video & Lyrics

March 23, 2020 – Sonny Figures It Out, GH Update, Guests Who Just Smell Food, a List, Puppy Day & Simon’s Advice

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Franco does some sketching at Kelly’s, and Britt approaches his table, saying she guesses she owes him an apology. He asks if she did something he doesn’t know about. She says, no, but her mother tried to kill him, and he’s her only friend, so… He says Obrecht told him that she didn’t do it, and Britt says no wonder Obrecht likes him. After all the evidence the WSB has, he still believes her? He tells her, he didn’t say that, but since he is her only friend, shouldn’t he entertain the possibility that she’s telling the truth?

Finn brings Violet downstairs, as they discuss birthday party decorations. Peter is there, and Anna says he surprised them with breakfast. Violet asks if she can have a pastry, and Peter tells her that’s a question for her dad. Finn says, just one, and Violet tells Peter that she’s having a birthday party with purple balloons. Can he come?

At the MetroCourt, Ava tells the waitress, her husband will have his usual; scrambled eggs with slices of tomato. No toast; he’s not a fan of carbs. He says she knows him so well. His wife will have a bloody Mary, heavy on the vodka, but Ava thinks she’ll just have coffee. Black. He says, drying out?

On the phone, Jason says he’ll be at the Quartermaines’ at three with Danny. He loves Sam too. Sonny comes in, talking on his cell, saying he just wants answers. When they get them, call him back. He tells Jason, the waterfront is under control, right? and Jason says their guys have it on lockdown. Sonny says, Tony just called, and said Cyrus got a shipment through last night. How the hell did he get his drugs through Sonny’s territory?

Jordan paces. Her phone dings. She looks at it, and says, oh my God; TJ. This was taken today. She leaves a message for Harmony, asking where the hell is her son? Curtis comes out, and asks if she wants to join him for breakfast. She says he’s sweet, but he knows how it is when a case takes over her mind. He says starving herself isn’t going to stop Cyrus; the man preys on weakness. She says he’s right. It’s going to take everything she’s got to shut him down permanently. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Sam, who asks if it’s a bad time. Jordan says, no, but she thought Sam was someone else. Curtis asks who she was expecting.

Peter tells Violet, that’s an invitation she has to discuss with her father first. She asks Finn if it’s okay, and he says she can invite whoever she wants to, but he thinks Peter is already on the list. Anna says, Maxie, James, and Georgie will be coming. They’ll be sending out official invitations. Peter is sure they’re just as excited as he is. Violet asks if he can stay for her tea party, and he says he has an appointment, but another time? Finn thanks him for the pastries, and Violet says next time he’ll have to stay. He promises, and Anna walks him to the door. She thanks him for coming by, and Anan says, the pastries were a big hit. He guesses that seals the deal, and leaves. Anna suggests they plan more birthday things while Violet is having her tea party.

Franco asks Britt why she’s so sure Obrecht is guilty, and she says she has her own reasons. She wonders why Franco is cutting Obrecht so much slack. She’s capable of everything they’re saying she did. Franco agrees Obrecht’s moral compass goes from dicey to non-existent, but aside from a bump on the head at the pier, she’s been a loyal friend. Britt asks if that makes what she’s done okay, and he says he’s not convinced. What he’s been wrestling with is, who’s the single most important person in Obrecht’s life? Britt says, aside from herself? He laughs, and says, yes. She says James, but everyone else doesn’t see the jeopardy she’s placed in that little boy’s life.

Nikolas says, it’s not too late for Ava to change her mind about a bloody Mary. He knows she likes a long, tall glass of vodka to wake up in the morning. She says she’s going to be sitting for Franco, and oddly enough, she’d like to be sober. Nikolas should come with her. Maybe Elizabeth is working, and  they can visit. He says, based on their last conversation, he doubts Elizabeth wants to see him. She asks what he said to Elizabeth, and he tells her, the truth. He can’t find Hayden, and she might not come back.

Jordan tells Sam that she’s expecting files from the office. She’s going to work from home today. Sam asks if she’s heard from TJ, saying she’s only asking because Molly is so worried. Jordan says, nothing yet. It would have been simpler if Sam had called. Tell Molly she’ll let her know if she hears. Sam says she came by to see Curtis as well. Is there any chance he’s available for breakfast? She wants to pick his brain. Jordan says her timing couldn’t be better; she just had to turn down Curtis’s invite for breakfast. Curtis goes to get his jacket, and Sam asks what happened with the location she gave Jordan from TJ’s phone?

Finn comes downstairs, and tells Anna, Violet is discussing her birthday décor with Roxie, Bella, and Otto. Roxie is pushing for green, and might win. He’s glad Violet is excited about her birthday, and Anna says she is too. Which leads her to… Finn says, where? and she asks if he thinks he wants to set a date for the wedding. He says, name it; he’ll be there. She says, that’s reassuring. Her children are grown adults, but Violet is still young, and the marriage is going to affect her most. She wants Violet to know that in marrying Finn, she’s committing herself to Violet as well. He likes that like idea, and she wonders if they should ask Violet if she wants to be part of the ceremony. She can be up there with them at the altar, and they can make a promise together as a family. Finn takes her hand, and says, it sounds perfect.

As Britt devours his food, Franco says, good thing he’s not hungry. She says when Obrecht claimed Nathan as her son, she definitely softened. She might even dare to says Obrecht loved him. Franco says, if Nathan was a turning point in Obrecht’s life, why couldn’t James be a whole new start? He doesn’t see her destroying her chance at being a doting grandmother. Britt says, if Obrecht was in on  the original memory transfer, she could get prosecuted. Since her father and Helena are dead, Obrecht is the only one left to take the fall. Franco asks if she thinks Obrecht was fearful that he’d remember and implicate her. She says she understands there was a strong possibility, if Franco didn’t resurface, that Drew’s memories would be more intense. He doesn’t see the motive, and she says, the simplest solution is always true, and Obrecht has the strongest motive. Peter comes in, and says he hopes he’s not late. Franco tells him, pull up a chair. They were just discussing murder.

Elizabeth sees Lucas, and asks is he wasn’t working the night shift. Lucas says there was an emergency, and Elizabeth suggests he go home to rest. Felix thinks he’s been working for a week straight, and Elizabeth asks if he doesn’t think he should take a break. Lucas says he has patients to treat, and walks off. Felix tells Elizabeth, he hopes Lucas is nicer to his patients than he was to them. Elizabeth says Epiphany is worried too, and Felix says Lucas just performed two 24-hour shifts: he’s living there. Elizabeth wonders if Lucas is headed for a complete breakdown.

Ava says she told Nikolas to keep his guilt to himself. What the hell was he thinking? He says he was thinking she gave him her opinion, and he chose to ignore it. She says, sorry for caring about how Violet feels. Should she be told her mommy is never coming back? How can he deprive Elizabeth of hope? He says, Elizabeth deserves his honesty, and she says, even if Elizabeth hates him for the rest of her life?

Jason tells Sonny, if Cyrus got a shipment through, he knows better than to use their waterfront. He didn’t use any of their routes; their guys have been watching. But the PCPD was doing surveillance on the main arteries. Sonny says, unless they got diverted. Jason asks if he’s saying someone inside the PCPD pulled surveillance from the main roads, and Sonny says, make some calls. They need to find out which cop is most likely to be in Cyrus’s pocket.

Sam asks Jordan if there’s any information she can give Molly; she’s worried sick. Jordan gets a text from Harmony – I’ll come when they’re gone. Jordan tells Sam, she went to the location Sam gave her, but TJ was no longer there. Sam asks if she talked to him, but Jordan says she already said she didn’t. Sam says, it seems inconsiderate of him to act like that, and Jordan says, he and Molly have never had an argument like that before. Molly is right that he’s overreacting, but there’s nothing they can do until he comes home. Sam asks if Jordan will let her know if they talk, and Jordan says, of course (🍷). Curtis tells Sam that he’s all set, and says he’ll check in with Jordan later. They leave, and Jordan texts – I’M ALONE. BRING MY SON NOW!

Violet wants to show Finn what Bella and Otto are wearing to her birthday party. Finn says he wants to see that. He’s seen Otto’s wardrobe, and he’s a little afraid. He asks if they can ask Violet something first, and Anna says she thinks Violet will like it. It’s kind of a question, but more of a surprise, and Violet says she loves surprises. She sits, and Finn says he hopes she knows how much he loves her. She’s the best thing that’s happened to him. He loves Anna too, and last year, he asked her to marry him. Anna tells Violet, she said yes. She loves Violet’s daddy, and promises to spend the rest of her life, not only making that promise to Violet’s dad, but to Violet as well. Finn says he was thinking, if Violet would like to, they could all be in the wedding ceremony together, and promise to look out for each other, and be a family. Anna asks what Violet thinks, and Violet says, no thank you. Finn asks if she can explain what she means, and Violet says she doesn’t want all of them to get married. She doesn’t want another mommy.

Ava tells Nikolas not to do this to himself. Don’t sacrifice his friendship with Elizabeth. He asks why she cares, and she says Elizabeth is his oldest friend. Think of their history. He says, that’s why he had to tell Elizabeth the truth; because of their history, and everything they’ve been through since they were teenagers. She says that’s why he can’t just let this thing end. He wonders what he has to do, and she says, kiss and make up; figuratively. He asks why it matters, and she says, Franco is her friend. She hates to see his wife unhappy. Nikolas says she and Franco have a special bond, and she says, they’ve both made their fair share of mistakes. They’ve hurt each other at different times and in different ways, and don’t judge each other. It’s nice sometimes to be yourself; no censuring. Franco is a brilliant artist. He’s lost some confidence, but she knows he’s still capable of significant work. If her portrait turns out well, she’ll not only be giving him a commission, but giving him back to the art world. Nikolas says they can both count the number of friends they have on one hand. If posing for Franco makes her happy, he’d never tell her to stop seeing him. Ava says that’s why she’s pushing him to make amends with Elizabeth. She thinks they’ll make each other less miserable if they each have their friend. He says he couldn’t agree more.

Britt says, in case no one told Peter, her mother still insists she’s innocent, and Peter framed her for his own crimes, and deserves to be behind bars. He says he thought it would be a happy reunion with his newly discovered sister. Was there anything in their correspondence that led her to believe he’s a crazed killer? She says, of course (🍷) not, but a crazed killer didn’t hire a hitman and down an airplane. It’s the act of someone calculating and cold-blooded. Franco says, or maybe he hired someone to kill him and Andre in the OR, and had a change of heart, killing the gunman instead. Peter asks, if he were diabolical, why would he have backed out? Franco says he’ll have to give that some thought. Peter says, think away, but sorry to disappoint him. He has zero interest in following in his father’s unique footsteps. Britt says their father made an art of being devoted to self above all other, and Peter says, he was a wizard at dehumanization. She says, he was a genius at making you feel worthless and unlovable. Peter adds, and when he was done, you’d do anything to get back in his good graces. Britt says, his approval was her mother’s obsession. She would have sacrificed anything and anyone – including her – to get his attention and prove her loyalty. Britt is sure Obrecht is up to her neck in the memory transfer. She was desperate to cover her tracks. Franco says, desperate enough to kill him? and Britt says, sorry. When it came down to it, Obrecht’s survival was more important than his.

Curtis asks Sam what the case is, and she says she might have brought him there under false pretenses. He asks, what’s going on? and she asks if it’s her or is Jordan stressed out? Curtis says, Jordan is dealing with an important investigation. Don’t tell him that she invited him there to talk about his wife. She says she’s sorry to put him on the spot, but Jordan seems stressed about TJ. He says she’s not happy TJ took off, but she has a lot going on. He knows Molly turned down TJ’s proposal, but he knows TJ’s been texting with Jordan. Sam asks why TJ can’t text Molly. Nothing big; just say he’s okay. She should have gone after TJ herself. He asks if Sam is looking for TJ, and she says she promised Molly that she’d bring him back. Didn’t Jordan tell him?

There’s a knock at Jordan’s door, and she drags Harmony inside. She asks where the hell her son is. Harmony says Cyrus wants her to tell Jordan that he’s pleased, but it doesn’t end just because Jordan has met his first demand. She allowed his shipment of drugs to come through. She’s a dirty cop now, and Cyrus has her right where he wants her. Jordan says, this is never going to be over.

Jason tells Sonny, their guy at the PCPD is checking to see what cop might be on Cyrus’s payroll. Sonny says, there are two ways to convince someone to do what you want. Reward them for their trouble, or persuade them a different way. Jason asks if he thinks Cyrus is threatening someone inside the PCPD, and Sonny says they just have to figure out who.

Harmony tells Jordan, don’t be too hard herself. Of course (🍷) she thought she’d get TJ back; hope is what keeps them going. Jordan says she was an idiot, and so was Harmony. Does she think just because they do what Cyrus says, he won’t hurt Willow or her son? Harmony says, he promised, and Jordan says, his promises count for nothing. She’s seen more of what that man is capable of than Harmony can imagine. They’re all disposable, and Harmony will hit her expiration date soon enough. Harmony says, and her? Jordan says there are good cops at the PCPD who know her. How long before they figure out that she’s not making the right calls, and not doing her job the way it needs to be done? Harmony says, that’s on her. Just follow Cyrus’s instructions. Jordan says, which are? and Harmony says, get Cyrus out of prison, and do it quickly. TJ won’t be free until he is.

Curtis tells Sam, Jordan has a lot going on in her head. He’s sure she thought she told him Sam was looking into it, but she didn’t. He asks if there’s any news, and Sam says she didn’t see TJ. Jordan said she wanted to be the one to talk to him. He says, did she? but Sam says Jordan told her that she didn’t catch up with him. Curtis says he knows TJ is crazy about Molly. The kind of crazy that lasts forever. Once he gets his head on straight, they’ll work out their marriage issue. Sam says, if Curtis says so. He says he needs her to do him a favor. Everything Jordan is doing, is at TJ’s wish. He needs her to ask Molly to back off. He tells her, as soon as Jordan hears about TJ, she’ll let Sam know, and leaves.

Sonny tells Jason, Cyrus came, big and loud, straight for his family. Jason says, then he used Taggert’s daughter to send him into a trap. If Cyrus is going to use family, who else could he use to get the drugs through? Sonny wonders if there’s anyone else he could threaten, and Jason says, for what it’s worth, Sam said TJ Ashford is off the grid. She told him, Molly said he disappeared after she rejected his marriage proposal. According to Sam, Jordan is the only one who’s heard from him. Jason’s phone rings, and he asks if they have any information on how the shipment got through. He thanks them, and Sonny asks, what’s wrong? Jason says, the cops were moved last night. They were taken off the key route. Jordan gave the gave the order. Sonny says, at the same time her kid went missing? That’s not a coincidence.

Lucas asks Felix for an update on a patient’s temperature. Felix says he did Lucas a disservice. Because of his friendship with Brad, he was worried about intruding on Lucas’s pain. Lucas says, so? and Felix says he should have intruded, and been there for Lucas. Lucas asks if they’re using that old cliché now? Felix says Lucas can be nasty, but he’s not going anywhere. Elizabeth says, neither is she, and Lucas tells them that he didn’t realize they were having a touchy feely session scheduled for today. He has patients to treat. He leaves, and Felix says he’s calling the cavalry, and sends a text. Britt walks in, and says, it’s like old times. Felix says, the Britch is back, and Britt says, no hello or how wonderful it is to see her? Elizabeth says, the last time she checked, kidnapping was still an obstruction of justice, and Felix adds, stealing embryos is still illegal. She tells them, check with Monica. Her license was restored months ago. Elizabeth says, don’t tell her that Britt is working there. Britt says, temporarily. She’s been hired to replace Dr. Nero. Felix wonders if Monica has fallen off the wagon, and Britt says, it’s on a provisional basis, but she has excellent references, and they’ve been checked. She doesn’t need their approval. Elizabeth asks how much she paid them, and Felix tells her, let it go. Britt will be back to her old tricks, stealing embryos and seducing interns in closets. He gives it two weeks tops. Elizabeth says, ditto.

Ava and Nikolas come into the hospital. Britt sees Nikolas, and stands in front of him, smiling. She cracks him across the face, and says, that’s for Spencer. I laugh, since this makes how many now?

Elizabeth suggests Britt keep her hands to herself, and tells Felix to call security. Britt is sure Prince Nikolas is fine, and he says, she’s clearly not. She says she spoke to Spencer on the phone. He’s hurt and angry, and why wouldn’t he be? Nikolas let Spencer believe he’s been dead for three years, to get revenge on Valentin Cassadine? Nikolas says, Valentin isn’t a Cassadine. He’s Helena’s bastard son. She asks what that matters. All she did was keep quiet while Spencer hid out in a luxury hotel room, and Nikolas pressed charges, making her a felon and a fugitive. Meanwhile, he broke his son’s heart. Elizabeth says, and Britt never did anything wrong. Britt says, it’s not about her. Nikolas came back from the dead, and married a woman Spencer despises. Nikolas says if Spencer would talk to him, maybe he could make Spencer understand. She says he doesn’t get it. He can’t explain it away. There’s no excuse that can make it better. He can’t imagine the pain he’s caused his son. It would serve him right if Spencer never spoke to him again. Elizabeth says, that’s enough.

Franco tells Peter that he went to visit Obrecht, thinking she’d like to see a friendly face. He came there to be supportive, but the more she talked, the more he realized it’s like Britt said. Obrecht is a survivor, and if it came down to her and him, she’d choose herself. Maybe she already did. If she’d admit it, and says she was sorry, he wouldn’t say it was okay, but he’s a person who would understand that. Peter says, for what it’s worth, Franco is a good friend to even consider giving Obrecht the benefit of  the doubt. Franco says Peter thinks he’s an idiot, but Peter says he knows what it’s like, wishing people would think you’re something other than who you are, but Obrecht is the kind of broken that can’t be fixed.

Finn tells Violet, he’s sorry. It’s his fault. Sometimes he doesn’t explain things well. He knows she has a mommy. She’s a wonderful mommy who loves Violet so much. Violet says if Finn and Anna get married, there won’t be room for mommy anymore, but he says, that’s not true. Mommy will always be mommy; nothing will change that. No one will ever replace her. Can he tell her a secret? He puts his hand on his chest, and says, her heart is right there. It’s where she holds her love for Roxie and Bella – Violet says, and Otto – and mommy and daddy, and Anna. Her heart is so big, it can hold anyone she loves. The more people she loves, the bigger it gets. She says, it won’t be like a balloon, and explode when it gets big? He says he can’t promise someone won’t break it, although he’s going to spend his life making sure that doesn’t happen. He can promise it won’t burst every time she lets someone new inside. His heart became so much bigger when he let her in. He’s so lucky to have her. She says she’s lucky to have him, and he hugs her. He says, know what he thinks? They’re both pretty lucky to have Anna. Anna listens from outside the door.

Curtis goes back to the apartment, and Jordan says, that was a quick breakfast. He says she never told him that Sam was looking for TJ, and traced his location to his phone. He needs to know why. She asks if they can do this later, and he says, it’s not work that’s tearing her up; it’s TJ. They promised not to keep secrets – ever – and he’s watching her scramble to cover something. What is she hiding about TJ? It’s time she shared it with him.

Elizabeth says Britt’s halo is tarnished, so stop acting high and mighty about something she knows nothing about. Britt says she knows what Nikolas did, and Elizabeth says they all know, and no one approves, but no one has beat him up more than he’s beat up himself. Everything he did was for Spencer, and Britt is the last person qualified to judge. Britt says Elizabeth ought to know; she’s the queen of judgement, rolling her eyes at the less-than-perfect mortals. What a surprise that Elizabeth has lowered her standards to defend Nikolas. She’s always had a weakness for the one who got away. Britt guesses it’s true. The more things change, the more they stay the same. She walks away, and Elizabeth and Nikolas look at each other, while Ava looks at both of them.

Anna asks if there’s room for one more, and Finn says, always. She sits with them on the couch, and says she has something for Violet. It’s an invitation to Violet’s birthday party. Violet asks who it’s for, and Anna says, for her mommy. Violet wonders where to send it, and Finn says Violet’s mommy knows where she is. Even if she can’t make it, she knows Violet wanted her to be there, and she’ll be there in spirit. Violet asks if her mommy can come to the wedding, and he says she can invite whoever she wants. She wants to invite Roxie, and Finn says, of course (🍷). Anna says she can invite Robin, and Finn says, and Uncle Chase. Violet says, and Robert. Finn says, all right; he can come. Anna asks if Violet likes it, and Violet nods, and thanks her. Violet asks, what about Uncle Peter? and Anna says, yes. Peter is invited. He’s definitely part of the family.

Franco tells Peter, no one in town thought he’d be redeemed, and Peter says, yet Franco proved them all wrong. Franco doesn’t know about that, but wonders why Peter is so sure Obrecht isn’t capable of it. Peter says, Obrecht is adept at pretending she’s normal. He’s sure she can have a loving relationship with Maxie and James, but she was manipulated by Faison for a long time. Even though he’s dead, Faison is still controlling her. Survival is her mantra, and anyone who gets in her way doesn’t live for very long.

Ava nods toward Elizabeth, and Nikolas goes over to the reception desk. He thanks her, and she says he’s welcome. He says he has to ask her. Does this mean she’s definitely forgiven him, or is it just that she hates Britt more? She says, whatever it was, it was against her better judgment, and walks away.

Curtis says Jordan can tell him. Whatever it is, she doesn’t have to feel alone – ever. She starts to cry, and says she doesn’t know what to do. There’s a knock at the door, and Curtis says, leave it. She says she can’t, and opens the door to Sonny. Curtis says, it’s not a good time, but Jason follows Sonny in, and closes the door. Sonny says, Cyrus has TJ, doesn’t he?    

🏥 There was no preview. Production was halted on March 16th, so maybe this was all they had in the can. Regardless, it’s a good place to end things for now. As soon as I find out any more information on what the immediate future holds, I’ll pass it along.

https://www.soapcentral.com/gh/news/2020/0313-coronavirus_production_suspension.php

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

When we last left, Adam said the level of emotion with Jenna was too high for the circumstances, and he couldn’t handle it.

Adam asks why Jenna is crying, and she says she felt rejected and cut off. He says, because he wouldn’t sleep with her? He has no effing clue what’s going on. She says they can never talk about it again, but he says he doesn’t work like that. He’s going back to the boat. In Jenna’s interview, she says she feels powerless. She can’t convince someone to be with her. She’s not used to letting someone in, and wanted to be close to him. The others party on at the bar.

Paget asks Adam if everything is okay, and Adam says, women are effing crazy. Paget says he could write a book. At the bar, Byron asks Parker if they’re in the hot tub, but Parker says he can’t tell. On the boat, Paget and Ciara bicker. He suggests she be first mate, and he’ll be her, and they’ll see how that goes. Georgia and Madison grind on each other at the bar. Jenna asks Adam to talk if he gives two sh*ts about her. He says if she questions that, they have an issue. They hug, but he doesn’t look happy. Ciara offers put on her penguin onesie to cheer Paget up. Adam and Jenna go back up on deck, and Adam says she looks miserable. She says she’s sad. He says, they’ve had four charters that were perfection; where did this come from?

The rest of the crew comes back to the boat. They decide to go in the hot tub. Adam tells Jenna, it doesn’t feel right anymore, and Jenna says, it’s strange how it went that way. Ciara asks Parker what’s going on, and he says he thinks Jenna and Adam are breaking up. Jenna tells Adam, what if he shared his feelings, and she sh*t on them? He says, because he wouldn’t sleep with her? He tells her that she’s pissed him off, and she says, it’s shameful. Parker eavesdrops, and Adam says she was quick to shut down, and this is beyond intense for him. Parker tries to ask about the hot tub, but Adam says, it’s not a good time. Parker tells the others, and says, maybe not the hot tub tonight. Madison tells Georgia that she kind of likes Parker, and in her interview, she says Jenna is preventing her from hot tub time with her two best friends, and it’s all she’s got to live for right now. Play go s*ck d*ck on the bow. She tells Georgia that Jenna and Adam have to figure out their situation, and Georgia says they need to convince them to take it somewhere else; it’s selfish. Jenna tells Adam, this is bullsh*t, and he says, there’s the real girl. You don’t just break down on the dock for no reason. He can’t deal with random, and this is random and psychotic. In Jenna’s interview, she says she must be psychotic, thinking they had something special. F-U. Parker says, and he thought he was the most dramatic one. Parker plays guitar, and sings stupid lyrics he’s making up as he goes along. Madison pretends to like it. Ciara and Paget cuddle.

Jenna sits in the crew mess. Adam gets coffee, and the silence is deafening. On deck, Parker and Ciara try to put the covers on the cushions, and Georgia says Parker is a typical man, trying to make it fit where it doesn’t belong. Parker says, Ciara doesn’t care that he cares, and that’s incourteous [sic] to others. He wishes they could have one dinner in a nice restaurant, and she could please be polite. In her interview, Ciara says she’s sick of Parker (join the club). She tells him that he wants everyone to conform, and he says she wants him to change, but she won’t change. She doesn’t need to have the last word. If he says she’s not courteous, she won’t even take it into consideration, but she’s saying he needs to change. Ciara says he needs to adapt.

Captain Glenn calls Paget, Jenna, and Adam for a preference sheet meeting. The primaries are Yana and Arthur Greenstein, who own a real estate company. Yana’s number on priority is to remain skinny. Adam reads a long list of food she hates, and in his interview, he says, she should have no problem keeping skinny, since she clearly hates food. Jenna reads that Arthur wants to surprise Yana with a pink cake (that apparently she won’t eat) and a pink party for her birthday dinner. They also want a secluded beach picnic. Adam suggests they do both the same day, and do the party after the guests come back from the beach. Paget says, this charter has to be better than the last one.

Georgia says, it’s a one-day turnaround and laundry day. Jenna picks at some food, and cries. In her interview, she says she feels blindsided. Why doesn’t he want to have sex with her? He’s continually building a wall. It sucks to be super close and have affection, and then it’s not there. It feels so effing cold. Provisions come in.

Byron asks, what’s going on? and Adam and Jenna just walk away. In Byron’s interview, he says he’s seen this go wrong plenty of times, and the chief stew hooking up with the chef is never a good idea. The crew are the ones who pay the price. In Madison’s interview, she says, Jenna distracting herself by screwing Adam is one thing. Jenna distracting herself by fighting with Adam is another thing, and both are bad. The job is hard enough. It’s going to be sh*t now. In Captain Glenn’s interview, he says he’s seeing friction with the deck department, and wants to hear from Paget and Ciara. He’s closer to them, since they’ve lived together, and he trusts their judgment. Something is brewing, and he needs to get to the bottom of it, and nip it in the bud. Parker suggests Ciara stop being rude. The captain calls Paget and Ciara to meet with him, while Jenna mopes.

Captain Glenn tells Paget and Ciara that he’s noticed a conflict, and asks if they have any concerns. Paget says they tried not to involve the captain, but Parker is difficult to deal with. He has an attitude he came on board with. He tried taking Parker under his wing, but can’t reprimand him; there’s an underlying issue of defiance. Parker is 25 and Paget is only a year older, but feels like he’s twelve years older. Ciara says Parker gets snippy, and she doesn’t appreciate it. Captain Glenn says he didn’t know that’s how it was. Parker needs to listen. Paget’s way is the way it’s going to go. He says he’ll talk to Parker, and find a way to achieve their goals. Jenna works without speaking to Adam, and in Adam’s interview, he says this is precisely what he was afraid of. Instead of prepping his menu, he’s thinking about a  woman.

Madison tells Georgia, it would be nice to get some direction from Jenna, but she’s too busy pouting. The captain asks to chat with Parker. He tells Parker, he wants to know what’s going on. He spoke with Paget and Ciara, and they talked about the dynamic. They feel there’s a conflict. Parker whines that with Ciara, it’s her way or the highway. Sometimes he has an idea about how something should go, and it’s clearly more efficient. He’s learning, but she doesn’t need to tell him what to do. Captain Glenn says Ciara knows the boat; that’s why he chose to put her in that role. Respect goes both ways, and there’s something going on. Paget is feeling resistance from Parker in taking direction. Parker says, they were at the dinner table, and Paget said f*** too many times; they were in a nice place. The captain tells him to be careful to respect the hierarchy, even when off the boat, but Parker says it was hard for him to eat dinner. In the captain’s interview, he says he’s pissed that Parker isn’t respecting the hierarchy. He tells Parker, essentially, Paget is captain of the deck. In Parker’s interview, he says he wants to prove to Captain Glenn that he can handle the tasks delegated to him on his own.

In her interview, Georgia says she’s got the laundry down. She’d love to do some fun stuff, like interacting with the guests, and seeing the sunlight. Give her something. Jenna doesn’t talk while she works, and Adam asks if they’re good. He hates seeing her like this. She says she doesn’t like being like this. They hug, and he says he’s sorry if he said anything mean; he didn’t mean it. He’s bummed. He’d been looking forward to an awesome night, and it went astray. In Adam’s interview, he says the reason he’s never succeeded in relationships is that he doesn’t want to show vulnerability. When the time comes for the real deal, and it’s not fun and games, that’s clearly a problem. At some point, he needs to grow up and take a chance on someone. Give it a shot. He tells Jenna, if they’re sleeping on the boat together, he wants to make sure they do it the right way the first time. He never cooked better than when she’s around; they work well together. In Jenna’s interview, she says she wanted an apology from Adam, and she’s glad she got one, but she’s scared too. If they don’t move forward, they’ll lose this, and that would be sh*tty. Adam tells Jenna, get to work, and she says she feels better. They hug again.

Georgia tells Paget that she’s sweating like a whore in whorehouse, and he says that’s a sight he’d like to see. Madison asks Parker if he’s okay, and they high-five. In Madison’s interview, she says it would be amazing if she ended up with Parker. (Has she met him?) Paget wants to coordinate the beach barbecue with Jenna, and Jenna tells Madison to start packing what they need. In Jenna’s interview, she says she’s trying to keep the department drama free, although I think it might be too late for that. She checks the cabins, and points out what’s not done, like putting in new rolls of toilet paper. In her interview, Jenna says Madison acts like she’s the hardest working and stressed. She never stops moving, but she’s just moving, not actually doing something. Captain Glenn tells the crew to change into their grey polos.

The crew welcomes the guests. The Greensteins have brought some friends along, and when Yana clinks glasses with the other women, they say, cheers; meow. Byron says, oh my God, and I say, what the hell…? The captain says they have a great holiday planned, and Jenna gives the tour. Yana looks at the yacht next door, and asks where their helicopter is. Jenna says, when the sails are up, they won’t need one. Lunch is confirmed for 3 o’clock, and Yana says their liquid diet will work for now. Captain Glenn tells Byron to get ready to fire it up. The lines are off, and the boat heads out. One of Yana’s friends takes Instagram pictures of her. BTW, despite her attitude, Yana is not all that. Jenna tells Madison to get the beach barbecue supplies ready for dinner service. Madison is dismayed over how much stuff she has to go through. Yana asks if she can drop anchor. (Why? Who knows?) Jenna tells her, it’s almost lunch, but Yana says they don’t eat too much. She just likes smelling the food. In her interview, Jenna calls it the air diet.

Jenna tells Adam, the guests love looking at and sniffing the food, but don’t want to eat. In Adam’s interview, he says he didn’t work this hard for her to just sniff her plate. She’s eating the effing food. Jenna tells Georgia that she’s done really good [sic] with the laundry, and in her interview, Georgia can’t believe she finally got a compliment. The guests sit down for lunch, and Adam serves lentil soup. Guest CC suggests it might be hot out for that, and in Adam’s interview, he says, it’s the hottest day, and it was genius for him to make lentil soup. Maybe he effed that up. Actually, I’ve read that it’s good to have something hot on a hot day, as it acclimates your inside temperature to the outside one. However, I’ve never tested this theory. Adam tells them he’s made watermelon granita for dessert, which should be more appropriate. Arthur says he doesn’t normally eat lentil soup, but can’t stop eating it, and the guests agree it’s delicious. Captain Glenn sends Parker to check out the beaches for the barbecue. In Parker’s interview, he says Paget and Ciara don’t believe in him. They don’t understand; he’s got this on lock. He makes some kind of hand motions like he’s James Bond or something, and he reminds me of dudes I went to acting school with, which isn’t a compliment. Adam serves the granita, saying it should be more refreshing. Yana says it’s her dream dessert, and she could stick with eating just that the whole trip. No surprise, since it’s probably mostly water. Parker radios with information about the nearby beaches, and in his interview, Paget says they have no time for Shakespearean monologues. Parker keeps talking, and Paget tells him to just make the call, and give them the information when he gets back, instead of translating his whole life on the radio. Adam wonders if they have a pacifier for him.

Arthur whines that there are no sandy beaches there, and Madison rolls her eyes. Parker radios that he’s found the best beach, where the boats there will be gone in two hours. Captain Glenn says, good recon, and in Parker’s interview, he yells, victory! like he just made it to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. Ugh, this guy. Jenna confers with Paget on the beach dinner, and asks Madison to go ahead to set up. Madison is feeling abused, and asks if Ciara is going. Ciara says she needs to get off the boat. Parker takes them over in the tender. Yana clinks glasses with one of the other guests, and says, meow. WTF? Parker had told Ciara and Madison that they didn’t need shoes, but instead of sand, the beach is made up of rocks. Ciara says, they need shoes; it’s not debatable. Some of the guests jump off the boat into the water. Parker tells Ciara and Madison to ignore the pain. In his interview, he says he’s trying to get them to learn to have endurance. You’ve got to walk on some stones in life. He says next time they go to the bar, he’ll get them whinekens.

Jenna asks if anyone wants to do snorkeling, saying, it’s a change of perspective. Yana says she entered the water in Thailand, and didn’t like it. She doesn’t give details, so I wonder what happened. She accidentally ingested a sardine? Madison and Ciara sit in chairs on the beach, and swap stories about charters they’ve worked on. Parker asks what the guests want to do, and Yana asks if they can go to the beach now. He tells them, whatever they want, and radios Ciara that he’s on his way over to the beach with the guests. He’s heading their way in five minutes. Nothing is set up, and Ciara says they were under the impression that the guests were coming at seven. Parker says she’s got to be ready for curveballs. Adam overhears, and wonders if Parker is trying to school them. Jenna says she would punch him, and I’m totally on board with that. Ciara and Madison scramble to get the table ready, and make a feeble, unsuccessful attempt at putting up the umbrella. Parker says he’s five minutes away, and Jenna thinks Madison might lose it today. Adam says, yachting is not for everyone. Parker explains away the chaos by telling the guests that the girls are setting up for dinner. He tells them to be mindful of the rocks, and says he’ll bring them towels if they want to lie out. On rocks. Ciara asks Parker why he brought them now, and he says, it’s what they wanted. He can’t talk right now, because he needs to get stuff of the boat. She calls him a d*ckhead, and I nod in agreement.

Paget says they should be on their A-game, and it’s an absolute disaster. He wonders what Ciara and Madison were doing all this time, and says, Parker picked the beach with the most rocks within a twenty mile radius. Parker tries to rake the rocks to make flat spots. Back on the boat, Jenna asks if Georgia wants to set up the surprise party. In her interview, Georgia says she’s glad to get out of the laundry room, and do something service related. It’s about effing time. the guests aren’t fans of the rocky beach, and in Paget’s interview, he says, it would have been nice if Parker suggested they bring shoes. His team is in disarray. Adam tells Jenna that lobster and fresh fish was requested for dinner, but on Yana’s preference sheet, it says no lobster or fresh fish. (How about old, rotten fish, as opposed to fresh?) He says, explain that, and calls them effing mo-mo’s. In Parker’s interview, he says, the guests aren’t thrilled with the beach situation because the set-up is a shambles. It’s not that difficult to set up a picnic table. Apparently, it’s gone over his head that their problem is the rocks, not the set-up. He takes the guests out on the tender, and one of them does some wakeboarding. Setting up for the party, Georgia blows up pink balloons, and Captain Glenn helps. Jenna wants to go over to the beach to see what happened. Georgia says she doesn’t get paid enough for this sh*t. Jenna asks if Adam is going, and he says, if he’s allowed. Jenna radios Madison, who wonders if she and Adam made up. Ciara tells them to bring shoes. For whatever reason, this pisses off Parker, but he says he’s going to be the bigger person.

Adam wonders what Ciara and Madison have been doing at the beach for five hours. In Jenna’s interview, she says, WTF? The beach set-up looks like sh*t. She’s pissed. She asks if they have various supplies, and everything is a no. She asks why the umbrella isn’t set up, since they’ve been there for five hours, and suggests Madison put on a bra. In Jenna’s interview, she says she came there to see how things were going, and they’re thirty minutes from dinner. No bra, no shoes, no service.

This season, boat races, playing cornhole with breast implants, a shirtless Paget serves a guest, Glenn says it’s time to take it up a notch, Parker might be in trouble, Jenna says she’s tired of carrying Madison and Georgia, Georgia thinks she agreed to a threesome, Adam tells Jenna it’s over, Glenn does a luggage search, and Georgia doesn’t think she can do this.

✋🏽 The Great Production Halt…

A list of shows on pause.

https://tvline.com/feature/cancelled-tv-shows-list-coronavirus-production-delays-1171349/

🐶 Happy National Puppy Day! 🐶

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🧻 Simon Says…

If nothing else, this will be good practice for when the zombie apocalypse comes. I’ll be here as long as there are shows to post about. Stay safe out there…