Tag Archives: Camp Getaway

April 30, 2020 – Carly Figures It Out, NYC Wives Do Fashion Week, the Restaurants Are Chosen, Camp Please No & Wild

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

In keeping with this week’s tradition, I missed the beginning, which wasn’t much. Sonny wants to talk to the family, Julian told Brook to get out of his bar, and Nelle harassed Michael in the park.

Michael tells Nelle, they’re done here, but she says, they’re just getting started.

Sasha sees Carly headed toward her, and says, before she says anything… Carly says she already talked to Michael, and being Michael, he blames himself. But she blames Sasha. She wants Sasha to tell her, in her own words, why she cheated on Michael.

Josslyn asks Sonny if it’s about Mike, but he says his dad is the same. It’s about the situation keeping them there. They can leave the house now. Josslyn asks if they can go back to school, and he says they can. Dev says, it’s amazing news, and Sonny tells Brando that he’s free to go back to Chicago.

At the hospital, Elizabeth asks how Trina is, and Trina says, pretty good, considering. Elizabeth says if there’s anything she can do, just call. Trina thanks her, and Elizabeth tells Cameron that she’s going back to work. Call if he needs her. Cameron flashes back to being on Sonny’s terrace with Trina, and kissing her. Trina says, hey.

At the reception desk, Elizabeth asks if Portia saw Trina, and Portia says Trina was doing her homework there earlier. Elizabeth wishes Cameron was as good with that, and Portia says she’d love to ask Elizabeth’s opinion. It’s about the hospital, so if Elizabeth isn’t comfortable, she’ll understand. Elizabeth says, try her, and Portia says she’s thinking about putting her name in for the head of internal medicine. She knows she’s new, but since Elizabeth has been there a while, she wants her opinion. Would she be stepping on any toes, or inviting pushback or resentment, or both?

Julian tells Brook, turn around, and stay out of his bar. She asks, why the hostility? and he says, maybe because she blackmailed him. She asks if he’s admitting he knew all along the baby was Michael’s.

Michael tells Nelle, his relationship with Sasha – she says, or lack thereof – has nothing to do with her. She says, it doesn’t reflect well on his commitment, or his ability to provide a stable home. She’s willing to compromise though. Instead of being at each other’s throats with a custody hearing, she’s willing to strike a deal. She gets full custody. Of course (🍷) he’ll have visitation. She’s thinking one weekend a month and alternate holidays. In return, grandmas one and two can keep their robust bank accounts and their jobs.

Chase tells Willow, he’s sorry. She says she’s sorry too, for her part in making this happen, but it’s too painful; she can’t go there yet. Someday, her time with him will be happy memories, but this is how life is right now, and she can’t imagine that day. She has no more room in her heart to hurt, and the best way for him to apologize, is to just not. She goes into the bedroom.

Sasha says she knows Carly is furious, but she thinks what happened should stay between her and Michael. Carly says, it’s not just them; there’s Chase. She believed Sasha when Sasha said she loved Michael and would never hurt him like Nelle did. She believed Sasha’s lies and deceit were behind her. Help her understand what changed. Sasha says, it’s not all that complicated, but Carly doubts that. Sasha says, Chase was feeling like things with Willow were happening too fast, and she felt that way too, in a way. She didn’t count on an insta-family with Michael and Wiley. She realized she’d never be enough. Michael needs someone better, more pure. Diane confirmed that she’s a bad choice as far as the custody suit goes. She and Chase were frustrated, and one thing led to another… Carly says, no. She’s lying.

Cameron asks Trina if the Spanish test wasn’t difficult, and she says, no. He asks if she didn’t take the test, but she says, no; she can’t do this. They barely see each other outside of school, and all he can come up with to talk about is that he thought the Spanish test was hard? He’s totally been avoiding her. He says he hasn’t. He’s been busy with school and soccer. She says, like every day of his life. The only thing that’s changed is that they kissed. She suggests they talk about it, and says it can never happen again.

Josslyn says Cameron was going to the hospital after school, and Trina goes there to do her homework sometimes, so she’s probably there. Dev asks if they should text first, but she wants it to be a surprise. Sonny says, they still can’t take public transportation, and one of the bodyguards will drive them. Josslyn and Dev leave, and Brando says Sonny made their day. Sonny says, they seem happy. What about him? Brando says, it’s a great relief that no one is in danger, especially the kids. Sonny appreciates what Brando has done for him and his family. If he needs help reestablishing himself, all he has to do is ask. Brando thanks him, but he was wondering if he has the option to stay.

Brook says Julian is so busted. He was so busy covering his tracks with Brad, he didn’t count on his own son being in the car. He put Lucas in a coma. Julian says he did nothing of the sort. Her theory is pure delusion. She asks if that’s all he’s got. He’s been hiding Michael’s son from him, and Willow has been jumping through fiery hoops for a baby that’s not her own. Did he think Lucas would be grateful? The cherry on top is the accident. Julian tried to kill Brad, but ended up hurting Lucas. He’s in so deep, but not to worry. One word from her to Sonny or Michael, and all his problems will be solved permanently.

Nelle bets Michael didn’t think she had it in her to be fair. He says she wants him to stop fighting for Wiley’s custody, and if he does, she’ll drop the bogus charges against Monica and Bobbie. She says correct, although she has an issue with the bogus part. He says, it’s not going to happen. There’s nothing she can prove, and even if she could, and shuttered the doors of GH, it wouldn’t matter. Monica and Bobbie would happily walk away from their careers rather than let her raise Wiley. She’s bad for Wiley, and he doesn’t trust her with his son. She says, their son, and he says, not when he’s done. She says he thinks he’s better than her, and he says he has to be. Wiley deserves better, and he’s going to have it. She says he’ll be sorry, and the worst part is, it didn’t need to be this way.

Sasha gets why Carly would think she’s lying, and Carly says, none of this tracks. Sasha told her that she thought Michael marrying Willow would improve his chances for custody, and now she says she and Chase have been having an affair the whole time? Sasha says she felt guilty about it, and Carly says, she didn’t sleep with Chase. She just wants Michael to think she did.

Willow tells Chase, she’s sure she forgot some things. If he finds them, just put them aside. He asks if she’s sure she’s okay, and I yell, tell her, you idiot, as Willow leaves. She cries in the hallway, and Chase leans against the door.

Sonny says he had no idea Brando wanted to stay. Brando realizes it seems like he’s doing a 180, and guesses he is. In the beginning, he just wanted out, and to go back to Chicago and his life, but that wasn’t an option. He needed to stay put and play the part of Dev’s dad. He likes Port Charles. Sonny says, it’s a great city, and Brando says, he likes running his own garage. He’s not demanding it be rent free, and if the deal is over, no harm, no foul. But if he can stay and pay rent, keep the garage going, it’s something he’d like to explore.

Elizabeth tells Portia, she’s not comfortable speaking for the doctors, but she’ll speak for the nurses. Even though Portia has only been there a short period, she’s totally earned their respect. Everyone is raving about her. Portia is glad to hear that, and Elizabeth says Portia knows what she’s doing. She’s sure other people will be vying for the position, but she hasn’t heard of any yet. Her vote is, go for it.

Trina tells Cameron, they’re going to get it all out there. She really likes him so much; he’s an awesome friend. She’s so grateful he was with her in the car and at the warehouse. She would have lost her mind without him. He says he would have too. She says she’s researched PTSD, and it messes with you emotions. That’s what happened to them. They almost died, and they went through it together. They’re scrambled, but fine. It’s not fine to make something of it that it’s not. Nothing has changed. He says, it hasn’t? and she says he’s as into Josslyn as he ever was. Josslyn is still getting over Oscar, but she’s close to getting to the other side. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes she’s into him. The worst Cameron can do is convince himself that he’s into Trina when he’s not, and blow his chances. Cameron says, so they’re good? and she says, totally good. He says, wow. She’s the best. She says, duh.

Brook tells Julian, he can relax. She has no interest sharing his secret with Sonny or anyone. The last thing she wants to do is blow up Lucas’s life more than it is already. Julian’s dirty little secret is safe. Dustin comes up behind her, and asks what secret that would be?

Chase sits in the dark, and looks at his phone. He remembers telling Willow that he has to shower, and her saying she’ll risk it, and kissing him.

Carly says, Michael couldn’t bring himself to marry Willow; he didn’t want to hurt Sasha. So she found a way to let him off the hook. She tells Sasha not to confirm it, or she’ll be obligated to tell Michael that she sacrificed her own happiness for him and Wiley. She’s have to tell him that Sasha knows Wiley is the most important thing, and has to be kept away from Nelle. She would probably do the same thing in Sasha’s position, and admires a woman who can do that. Sasha says nothing, and leaves.

Michael says he can’t believe it. Dammit! He picks up a big stick, and hits a tree with it. Willow yells his name, and asks, what’s wrong? What’s going on? He says he ran into Nelle, and gave her exactly what she wanted.

Sonny tells Brando, it’s up to him. Sonny was under the impression Brando couldn’t wait to get out, but if that’s not the case, he can stay. Brando says, cool. He didn’t know if it would mess things up. Sonny says, it works out for him. It’s more convincing for Dev, having Brando around. He doesn’t want Brando to feel obligated now that the danger has passed. Brando says he appreciates being given a choice.

Cameron tells Trina, she’s 100% correct. Trina says, tell her something she doesn’t know, and he says, except for him being into Josslyn. She says, that’s why they were going to the winter formal in the first place; so he could dance with Josslyn. He says he likes her, but it’s not a big deal. If she never feels same way, they’ll just be friends. Trina says, shut up, and he says he wants to tell her how great she is. Hug time. He grabs Trina, and she says she can’t breathe. Josslyn arrives with Dev, and asks, who’s ready for a movie? Did they interrupt something?

Brooks says, Dusty! He made it just in time. He says, what’s the dirty little secret? and Julian says, Brook is exaggerating. Brook says, there’s no use hiding it. She needs to tell Dustin the truth. She and Julian aren’t related, but they have a lot of people in common. Like Lucas. She didn’t know Julian was his biological father until after Julian propositioned her. He thought she was a hooker. Julian says offered to pay for her time; nothing else. Brook says, if she mentioned it to Lucas, it would make things awkward. Out of the goodness of her heart, she hasn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt if Julian was nicer to her.

Chase flashes back to telling Willow that wine guy is a legend, and saying, she’s not going to leave him for wine guy, is she? She says, that depends on if he’s still making her rock climb. He says, it’s at the Y; he’s not asking her to climb Everest. She says, it’s kind of the same thing. In the present, there’s a knock at the door, and Chase jumps up to answer, but it’s Sasha. She asks if she can come in, and he says, sure. She says she wanted to check on him. How’s he doing? Is he waiting for Willow to come back? He says, she’s definitely not coming back.

Michael tells Willow, Nelle agreed to drop the lawsuit… Willow says, in exchange for full custody. Bobbie and Monica would give up their careers and go bankrupt before letting that happen. He says that’s what he told Nelle. She said a bunch of BS, and he lost it. He knows not to do that. What if Nelle was recording it? She drives him crazy. He tells himself, don’t engage, but he couldn’t help it. She made him so furious. Willow says, good for him.

Dustin thinks he and Brook will have the song done in time for the Nurses Ball. She says he didn’t apologize for being late. He says, it was five minutes, and she says she was early. He says he couldn’t let his students out before the bell rang, and she says she can’t get over the fact her artistic Dusty is a high school teacher. He says her artistic Dusty has bills to pay. Not everyone gets to be a Quartermaine. She says, touché, and he says, besides, he’s passionate about teaching, like she is about her music. She suggests they get back to it.

Brando says he understood the situation, and was fine with helping Dev out; he’s a good kid. And he’s not the type to turn his back on someone in trouble. Sonny says, he made that clear, and Brando says, he didn’t like being told how live, and not having a say. He screwed up in the past, but he’s taken control of his life, and has been responsible for his own choices. Having said that, Sonny gave him the opportunity to do something good in Port Charles, and he doesn’t want to waste it.

Trina tells Josslyn, she was telling Cameron that he’s a complete idiot who made a complete mess of his life, but he’s lucky he has smart friends. Josslyn asks what Cameron did now, and Cameron says he was late to practice. The coach was mad, and he’s the one who has to write Cameron a recommendation letter. Trina says she told Cameron it would be okay; he could make it up. She asks how Josslyn and Dev are there, and Dev says, house arrest is officially lifted. Josslyn says they still have to be careful. Sonny’s guys are driving them, but they’re free. Cameron says, good. They can hang out somewhere other than Josslyn’s house. Josslyn says she’s dying to go to the movies, and Trina asks what she wants to see. Josslyn doesn’t care, and Cameron says, not a chick flick. Dev wonders what that is, and Trina says they’re romantic comedies that Cameron secretly loves. Josslyn says, he does, and he knows it.

Nelle goes to the MetroCourt, and Carly asks if there’s something she can do for her. Nelle says she ran into Michael, and Carly says, how was that? Nelle says, terrible. He was abusive and threatening, and she fully intends to tell her lawyer. She was willing to compromise, but Michael refused. As much as she was hoping to avoid all out warfare and being combative, the court is going to hear all about it.

Chase gives Sasha a glass of water. She asks if he’s waiting for Willow, and he says he’s waiting for the sense that he did the right thing. To sense the rightness that will make losing Willow bearable. That should be the reward for doing the far better thing; the pain and loss should get less. He keeps telling himself that, but right now all he can think about is the future he’d started to dream of that will never come true.

Willow says, it’s not like Michael had a meltdown in court, but be real. Nelle is an evil psycho, and it doesn’t matter if he freaks out. If he plays along, she’s hateful, but if he fights her, she’s still hateful. She’s glad he yelled at Nelle, and wishes she’d been there. She would have yelled too, for everything Nelle has done to Michael, Wiley, and her. If not for Nelle and her walking horror show, Willow wouldn’t have flipped out; she wouldn’t have driven Chase into Sasha’s arms. She wouldn’t have had to get her clothes from an apartment where she was the happiest she’s ever been. She hates that she’s doing this now. It doesn’t matter what happened to her, or how sad she is, or how she wishes things were different. The only thing that matters is Wiley. Michael says, she’s right. Nelle is the worst. He suggests she give the tree a whack. She says she’s not hitting a tree, but he says he did, and it made him feel better. Give it a try. She takes the stick, and says, okay. She hits it and laughs. He says, imagine it’s Nelle; give it a good whack. She hits it harder, and keeps hitting it. She says, I hate you Nelle.

Sonny tells Brando, he’s welcome to stay. He’s family, and it’s good to have him. Plus, Sonny owes him. Brando says, he doesn’t, but Sonny says he saved Carly, and stepped up for Dev. He knows Brando didn’t think he had a choice, and responsibility and free will are important to him. Brando says, it was a unique situation, and Sonny says, now that it’s over, Brando’s life is back in his hands. What he does about it, whatever he decides, Sonny will respect it. Brando thanks him, and says he’s not sure he was truly grateful before, but he is now. They shake hands.

Portia tells Elizabeth, she pulled the trigger. She’s officially in the running for head of internal medicine. Elizabeth says, good for her, and good luck. Portia appreciates it, and thinks Elizabeth for her support.

Taking Trina aside, Josslyn says, Cameron seems happy, and Trina says, he does. Josslyn wonders why, but she’s sure they’ll be able to figure it out. Trina says, let’s go, and Josslyn says Trina seems happier too. Trina thinks she is. She feels like things are still really horrible, but maybe they’re looking up. Josslyn tells Cameron and Dev, the chick flick awaits. Cameron says, no, and Josslyn says she thinks he’s protesting too much. They walk out together, all happy.

Carly asks if Nelle has a recording or footage of said abusive behavior, but Nelle says, no. Doesn’t Carly care that the son she raised is treating her this way? Carly says, not really, and Nelle says she’ll never see her grandchild again, and Carly’s mom is going to lose her license because Michael refused to be flexible. Carly says they’ll wait and see, and Nelle asks if she thinks Michael is going to win, and Carly says she doesn’t know who’s going to win. Who can predict that? But she can tell Nelle, she has a good feeling about it.

Sasha tells Chase, she’s waiting for that too; the feeling of, yes, it was worth it. Do her a favor. Whichever one of them it happens to first, let the other one know. If it makes him feel any better, Carly completely figured it out. Carly thinks they’re doing the right thing. So does she. Chase says he knows they are. If he didn’t, he couldn’t do it. Sasha asks if he has anything stronger, and he goes to the kitchen.

Willow says Michael is right. She does feel better, but what if someone saw? He says, no one is around. Better to hit the tree than Nelle. She says, that depends on who you ask. Michael says he’s sorry for all the havoc this insanity has caused in her life, but she says she doesn’t regret any of it. He asks how that’s possible, and she says, in whatever crazy Nelle responsible way Wiley is in her life, she can never be sorry for that. She can’t stand the thought that Nelle might win. Michael says, she won’t, and she asks how he knows. He says, because they won’t let her.

On Monday, Ava asks Nikolas if he wants a divorce, Franco says he can never escape his past, Neil attacks Julian, and Brando tells Jason that he’s staying.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s the start of Fashion Week, and Sonja gets her new collection together. Tinsley practices her walk, as Garo Sparo (winner, Project Runway) asked her close out his show. She gets to wear a crown, and she says, it’s the most exciting thing ever. LuAnn meets with her producer Ben. Her new show theme is Marry F*** Kill. She says, it’s always been about the Countess, but now the Countess is being naughty. She’s excited about the new show.

In her interview, Ramona says, if you don’t go to a show during Fashion Week, you’re considered a leper (yeah, I know), so she has to go, or she’ll be ostracized. Sonja says she’s been working all summer on her new collection of ready-to-wear; everything is under $250. She confers with her team, and asks about the models. In her interview, she says Fashion Week is a big hurdle, and she doesn’t want to mess it up. The girls are coming, as well as her designer friends, and it’s nerve wracking. She thinks team Sonja forgets the reason for the show is the retailers wanting to buy her collection. She swears she’s not sleeping until the show is over.

Tinsley squeals when sees the dress she’s wearing, and says, it’s so her. It is. Very fairy princessy. Dale is happy that Tinsley is back doing something. It’s been ten years. Dale dabs at her eyes, and Tinsley says she doesn’t want to cry; she’ll ruin her makeup. She says she looks like herself again, and they both cry without crying. Dale asks what wrong with them? and Tinsley says, a lot. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she was the It girl, and walked in shows. This makes her feel like she’s back to being the person she was before, and lost when moved away.

Dorinda and Sonja get out of the limo, checking their girdles and tape respectively. Tinsley is thrilled with her cute, cute dress, but not so much the sparkly sneakers. In her interview, she says most people walk the runway in heels, but she’s afraid she might trip in the sneakers. She definitely wouldn’t in heels. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Tinsley loves a Disney themed fashion show. Maybe she’ll get her happily ever after. Ramona says they’re not her kind of clothes, but she appreciates the spectacle. Amanda Lepore takes a turn on the runway. Leah says she used to read Vogue all the time, and it’s what Tinsley was made to do; what she does best, back where she was in her heyday. Almost. In Sonja’s interview, she says Tinsley hasn’t had that spark recently, and it’s back. Garo says Tinsley turned it out, and everyone congratulates her. LuAnn says she’s back.

Backstage, LuAnn asks for a curling iron, accosting Lioc, who’s there for the models, but styles LuAnn’s hair. In her interview, LuAnn says she had to run home and change, and didn’t have time to do her hair. She used to be a model, so why not? Outside, John takes photos of Dorinda and the other woman. Ramona hogs the spotlight, insisting on posing with designer Pamela Roland, and literally pushing the people who were with her out of the way. Sonja tells LuAnn the show wasn’t for her age group, and LuAnn says the clothes were more in the not-in-her-taste group. Ramona bitches about how Tinsley left things at her Hamptons house. She tells Tinsley that she was upset by the way she left the room; she trashed it. There were soda cans and water bottles everywhere, and she stained Ramona’s duvet cover. In Tinsley’s interview, she says they’re not talking percale sheets. Ramona got them at Bed, Bath & Beyond. She’ll get Ramona a new one. She tells Ramona that she’s sorry; she’ll pay for it. They sit, but Leah isn’t there, which Ramona says is not cool. In Ramona’s interview, she says they have a great location for the fashion show. It’s a coveted thing to be in the front row. Sonja leaves messages for people about the models. She says she realized her staff wasn’t doing what she thought they were. In her interview, Ramona says she’s totally embarrassed. They’re in the front row, and Sonja should know better. It takes months of preparation for a three minute show. Can’t she put the phone away for three minutes? Sonja says she’s physically there, but mentally, she’s worried about her own show. In Dorinda’s interview, she thinks the Roland show made Sonja panic. She’s not as organized as she thought.

The women go to a restaurant. Ramona thinks she’s going to order oysters, and in her interview, Dorinda says, Ramona eating oysters is like watching a porn flick. And she guards them like Neptune’s treasure. LuAnn says Sonja was on her phone the whole time. Sonja, who’s still on her phone, says she has model fittings tomorrow. Ramona asks why that wasn’t done last week, and Sonja says, it’s the people she hired. Ramona suggests she let an intern do the work, and Sonja says, she has to negotiate prices. Nothing is free unless she gets it. She goes to sit on the side by herself, and Leah arrives. She says she needed a moment. She had a mental… not breakdown, a breakthrough. Ramona says it was rude not to show up. It was a coveted invite. Leah says her dad called, and said mother doesn’t want talk to her. Leah starts crying, and says, after a nine year period of not drinking, she decided to do it, and her mom is worried. Ramona wonders why Leah told her. In Leah’s interview, she says she texted her mom that she drank, and it’s not the end of the world. Her mom didn’t respond to her texts afterward, so she called her dad, and he said her mom is mad at her. Ramona says she’s afraid Leah will go to that deep dark place, and LuAnn asks how Leah feels about it. Leah says she has no regrets. She was in a good environment, and didn’t put herself in danger. The hangover sucks, but she thinks her mother is overreacting. LuAnn thinks talking to her wasn’t helpful. In her interview, Leah says her drinking is a trigger for her mom. She still views Leah as a wild teenager. It’s hard to accept she’s a thirty-seven year old who’s got their sh*t together. Ramona says she shouldn’t do things like that by text, but Leah says she’s a millennial. In Ramona’s interview, she says, a text is for, what time should I be there? or, I’m running late, not for this. Dorinda says she doesn’t tell her mother anything, and LuAnn says she keeps her mom in the dark. Tinsley says her mom wants the best for her, but gives her a list of what to do specifically. Like she didn’t want Tinsley’s hair curled for the show, and they got in an argument. In her interview, Leah say she wishes their argument was about the way she wears her hair, but she’s talking big life sh*t. Tinsley says she doesn’t need everyone’s advice. She can make her own decisions. Dorinda pantomimes taking out her brain. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s trying to be a compassionate human while listening to the argument about straight versus curly hair, but Mother Teresa couldn’t tolerate this. Ramona’s oysters come, and Dorinda asks if she only ordered for herself. Ramona says she asked if anyone wanted anything. Dorinda only listens when she wants to, because she’s more interested in hearing herself talk.

Leah meets with her Married to the Mob publicist Sloan. She says streetwear wasn’t even a term when she started. She paved the way, and fifteen years later, she’s still doing it. She wanted to wear men’s clothing lines, and thought she couldn’t be the only woman who didn’t like cutesy streetwear, so she made her own. She also hated having a boss, and got fired from every job. Sloan say she put herself in the middle of a man’s world. In Leah’s interview, she says, her type of feminism is to do whatever the boys do, but do it better. Her ex and baby daddy Rob arrives, and in her interview, she says, it’s hard for people to understand their relationship. It’s so unique. They’re basically an amazing married couple who don’t live in the same house or have sex. She tells him everything is all good, but he doesn’t think her drinking is a good idea. She asks if he thinks she’d do anything to put the life she’s worked hard for in jeopardy. He says drinking puts her on a self-destructive path. In Leah’s interview, she says Rob and her mom are like her two rocks in life. They’re both questioning her, and her mom isn’t talking to her. It’s upsetting. Rob says, it’s her prerogative, but if it starts affecting… She says they’re on the same page. He says her mother is their only helper, and they have to give her the respect she deserves. Leah gets weepy, and says she can’t believe they’re still not in a place of understanding. She’s never felt any approval from her mother, only judgement. Rob says, that’s what parents do.  

Dorinda meets with stylist Luke. In her interview, she says Sonja sent everyone a couple of options, and she was lucky enough to get a Liza Minelli-esque jacket. She tells Luke. John never misses the opportunity to make bad decisions. He doesn’t think sometimes. In her interview, she says he knows she doesn’t like some of his lifestyle choices. There was a party he wanted to go to, even though she didn’t, and he went without her. We see a clip of that, and she says he disappeared. It doesn’t make her feel good, or have a sense of security and love. Clearly, if he’s not home with her, he’s not happy. Luke says people wondered where she was. It’s a bit of disrespect. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s transparent as a person. She’s not worried that John is doing something naughty, but the non-transparency runs deeper. She tells Luke that she thinks the relationship gets stunted. She hasn’t returned his calls for two days.

Sonja’s show is in two hours. She takes a selfie with her team, and thinks she looks like Phyllis Diller, but no one knows who that is. She’s unhappy with the floral arrangements, and in her interview, she says, fashion people are coming. They need gorgeous flowers. Stems would be better. This is an embarrassment. She calls LuAnn, who’s in San Diego. She already had a show booked in California this month. Sonja shows LuAnn the flower disaster, and has to go. In her interview, Sonja suggests everybody pull their heads out of their asses and figure out what’s going on. She yells at everyone, and says she doesn’t want them to think or ask anything.

Leah picks up Tinsley. Tinsley remarks that Leah isn’t wearing anything Sonja, and asks if Sonja didn’t send anything to her. She sent three different dresses over to Tinsley that she loved. What she’s wearing is really pretty; a mini dress with a nude underlay, and white knit flowers on top. Leah takes what looks like a sweat suit out of a bag, and shows Tinsley, saying, that’s not athleisure. It was all she sent, along with a hat. In Leah’s interview, she says she’s pretty sure Sonja is trying to send a message. We flash back to Leah screaming, 1985 is over. She tells Tinsley, there are also these, and puts on a pair of sunglasses. She asks where the crack pipe is, since only someone high on crack would wear this. In her interview, Tinsley says she doesn’t think Sonja is capable of purposely making Leah look stupid. She probably thought it would look cool.

Ramona says she doesn’t understand what Sonja is doing, since it’s not a designer, and the clothes are already made. Sonja yells at more people, and in her interview, she says, don’t let them see you sweat, but right now, she doesn’t care what they see. The guests come first. It’s to say thank you to their supporters and get good press. John surprises Dorinda, and in her interview, she says she didn’t know he was coming. If she’s not at a party, she doesn’t see him. There’s a disconnect that she can’t get her head around, and he doesn’t even seem to acknowledge it. Tinsley and Leah come in. Leah’s dress has a print of Lil’ Kim on it, who she says is her feminist icon. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she had a skirt with Chairman Mao on it. She gets the vibe that’s going on. It’s a gangstery thing. Ramona isn’t wearing Sonja either, because it didn’t fit; she couldn’t get it zipped. Leah says, Sonja wanted her to wear pajamas. She shows them the outfit. In Ramona’s interview, she says she wouldn’t wear it either. It’s a sweat outfit; something you walk the dog in. What was Sonja thinking? Dorinda asks what Leah did to deserve that.

In Dorinda’s interview, she says, come on. Sonja knew what she was doing. Dorinda would have cut that sh*t up, midriffed it, put on a great pair of heels, and walked the runway. The show starts. I like Sonja’s pieces. I’ve checked them out before, and they are actually affordable. Backstage, Sonja says the models are fantastic, and the clothes are beautiful and fit well. Every time a model goes by, Dorinda says, Leah could have worn that. Sonja thinks the show will help them continue their relationships with retailers, and says, it all comes together when it’s supposed to. In Leah’s interview, she says she’s in the fashion industry. She’s been going to Fashion Week shows since she was seventeen, when she babysat for the editor (oddly enough) of Seventeen magazine. She knows what a fashion show looks like, and this isn’t a fashion show. Tinsley says, there was no music, and there were no lights.

Sonja asks who it is on Leah’s dress. Beyonce? She asks, what happened to the cashmere two-piece? It’s her signature, and it was in Elle. Dorinda says, the dresses would have looked great on Leah. Leah says she thinks Sonja is full of sh*t, and she’s passive/aggressive. It’s like, she’s the Downtown one. Sonja is still mad at her from the Hamptons. In Sonja’s interview, she says she can’t believe they’re doing this now. It’s her moment. She’s never giving Leah a gift again. Does Leah really think she has to time to be passive/aggressive and think it out? Sonja says she gave it to Leah in a nice bag, and Leah says, it was a paper bag that had been ripped open. Sonja asks where the sunglasses are, but there’s never an answer to this. Hmm… In her interview, Sonja says she didn’t think Leah would like a frilly dress. She’s never seen her in one, and her dresses are kind of fancy. Leah says she tried the sweats on, and she looked crazy. Sonja immediately has a couple of her people help her out of whatever it is she’s wearing, and puts on the sweats. She comes galumphing out, wearing the hat as well, and shakes her groove thing in Leah’s face. Leah says, how can she be mad at Sonja? In her interview, she says, it’s hard to stay mad when Sonja is prancing around looking like a pimp in pajamas.  

Next time, LuAnn meets with Jacques (remember him?), Leah says Dorinda that she’s scary, LuAnn tells her audience that she never hooked up with the pirate, and LuAnn drinks some vodka.

🌮 On Top Chef, Stephanie felt bad, as she was the only Padma’s Angel left. Bryan said, being in the bottom was extremely motivating. I’ll bet. We saw a clip of Last Chance Kitchen, where Karen won, and would be joining them. The Quickfire challenge was a taco throwdown for Danny Trejo (Machete, and a million other things, also one of my favorites). Along with being in films, he also owns Trejo Tacos and a donut shop. They were to make the perfect taco for him, and he told them to be creative. The box was lifted to reveal machetes, the only knife the chefs would be allowed to use. There would be immunity this time, but Padma said, from there on out, it was off the table. Most of the chefs made a fish taco of some kind. I’ve never had a fish taco, which is surprising because I love fish. I don’t know why, but I’m skeptical of them. After all the tacos were tasted, Danny said he’d buy every one of them. The bottom two were Gregory, for excessive saltiness (in his dish, not him), and Eric, whose portion size was skimpy. The chef who had everything Danny wanted in a taco was Stephanie. In her interview, she said she’d been waiting to win… something. Everyone would think she was a badass now, cooking with a machete.

The chefs were reminded that Restaurant Wars would be next week, but the battle was beginning now. The guest judges for the elimination challenge were, restaurateur Kevin Boehm, and Top Chef winner and restaurant owner Stephanie Izard. The challenge was to make it through the pitch, presenting the concept and the menu using a mood board, and making one or two dishes that were an example of the restaurant. They had to pitch and sell their idea, and the two favorites would be the restaurants in the war.

The restaurant concepts were, Kevin, with Country Captain, featuring Southern fare; Eric, with Middle Passage, featuring African cuisine; Gregory, with Kann, featuring Haitian woodfire cooking; Bryan V., with Thatcher and the Rye, he said accessible so much, I had no idea what his concept was supposed to be; Karen, with Three Black Crows, featuring modern dim sum; Lee Anne, with Hanai Mama, featuring Hawaiian food – she also explained that hanai meant adopted. We continued with, Stephanie, who presented Lucy C.’s, featuring modern, elevated comfort food (Lucy was her dog); Brian full of Malarkey presented Baja Asian, a combination that isn’t supposed to be together, but can’t help it (no surprise, his was the most dramatic of the presentations); and finally, Melissa with Sabrina, featuring modern Asian California food. She’d named the restaurant after her grandmother, who saw life in a romantic way. It’s how she wanted her food to be. Gregory pointed out that they had to be both great cooks and great salesmen for the challenge.

At the Judges’ Table, the favorites were Gregory, Kevin, Brian full of Malarkey, and Melissa. The judges said they could picture themselves eating at the restaurant, as well as the restaurant being successful. The big winners were Kevin, with Country Kitchen, and Gregory with Kann. The judges wanted to see their restaurants come to life.

On the downside were Eric, Lee Anne, and Stephanie, which we saw coming. She’d never even envisioned a restaurant for herself. The judges said she had no concept, and Stephanie had to agree. She had no focus. What she did have was immunity, so she was asked to step aside. Tom said Eric’s idea of casual, accessible food, but upscale dishes had a disconnect. The duck was overcooked, and the judges agreed his food fell short. Gail said it was so salty, it drowned out what he was trying to do. Lee Anne was told her concept wasn’t strong enough, and she admitted she hadn’t picked the right things to express it. Padma said they were both good chefs, but it was Eric’s turn to pack his knives and go. In his interview, Eric said he was disappointed in himself, and this taught him a new level of humility. He said he was still a student, and learned, not just from the judges, but everyone around him. He was hoping to redeem himself in Last Chance Kitchen.

Next time, the restaurant concepts come to life. It looks like a lot of chaos.

🏕 The advertisement for Camp Getaway said it was the opposite of adulting. That worries me. And don’t we have that already with Summer House?

🌼 Tra-La It’s May…

You’re here, Friday’s here, spring is springing, get out there if you can. See you later on the Shah side, when the season comes to a close. Except for a one or two episode of the dreaded reunion, where everyone talks at once and old wounds are opened. That Andy Cohen is an evil genius, I tell you. Stay safe, stay ready for anything, and stay (virtually) wild.

April 16, 2020 – Snake Not On a Plane, Sonja Was Not a Trophy Wife, John’s Choice, Chefs Go To Market, Camp Coming & Closer

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

I swear, I could get up at 5 am, and still be running late around 3 pm. I missed the beginning, but from what I could hear, it sounded like they were just reviewing the end of yesterday’s episode.

At the hospital, Michael tells Sasha it would be nice to paint Nelle as a demon, and have her banished to a parallel dimension. Sasha says she can picture Diane making that argument, and Michael says, Diane is so good, she’d probably make it halfway through the argument before the judge would realize, and hold her in contempt. Sasha likes the Wizard of Oz approach. Bringing Nelle and Michael up front, and dumping a bucket of water on them, to see who doesn’t melt. Carly comes by, and says, that sounds good. Sasha says she’s getting punchy, and Carly says, long hours at the hospital will do that. Who wouldn’t want to see Nelle turn into a green puddle? Michael gets serious, and says he can’t afford to think like that. If he’s wrong, Wiley pays.

At Violet’s party, Maxie tells Robert, now that Obrecht is going to the Hague, can he drop his vendetta against Peter? He says he doesn’t have a vendetta, but she says, whatever he’s calling it, instead of treating Peter like a suspect, why doesn’t he see what they have in common? He says, those they love? and she says, besides that. He says he can’t think of anything, and she says Obrecht tried to kill them both. Robert is used to bouncing back, but Peter has suffered enough. He says, that’s a matter of opinion, and Maxie says she’s known Robert literally her entire life. He says that’s why he wants what’s best for her, and she says he needs to accept what’s best for her is her own decision; like she needs to accept he’ll never see Peter for the wonderful man he is. We flash back to Robert asking Anna if it ever occurred to her that Peter could be Alex’s son. It’s her big chance to sever all ties to Faison. Anna says she’ll never abandon Peter, and Robert says, Peter is an adult, and every bit as treacherous and sadistic as his father. We move to Peter saying, Robert knows he went to Pentenville to visit Shiloh, and Robert saying, but he doesn’t know why. Why doesn’t Peter shine some light on that? We go to Robert telling Peter that his family doesn’t see the dark side of him, but they will. Peter says it kills Robert that the people he cares about, care about and love Peter. There’s nothing he can do to convince Robert, so let those they care about speak for him. Robert says Peter thinks highly of himself. It was Faison’s undoing, and will be Peter’s too. Next, Robert tells Anna that something is wrong. If she wants to deny what’s in front of her face, that’s one thing, but if she denies what’s in her heart, it might come back to bite her. We shift to Robert asking Anna how long Jason has been suspicious, and telling her that she has a Peter-sized blind spot. It’s going to get her into trouble, and when Peter goes down, Robert doesn’t want Anna going with him. There are things in the works, and they’re going to show her what her would-be son is really like. We flash back to Robert accusing Peter of shopping his deal with Sam and Jason to the AG. Peter asks why it matters, unless Robert is up to something shady. Robert thanks Peter for getting him off this production. Now it’s just Peter and Jason. He knows Jason is a trained killer, and Jason knows the truth. He’s coming to get Peter, and this time Anna’s not going to be able to save his sorry butt. In the present, Robert tells Maxie, she’s right. He’s never going to see what she does. Good party. He leaves, she sighs, and Peter walks in, no doubt from listening in the next room.

In the park, Chase tells Willow, maybe they shouldn’t have gone to the party. She says they couldn’t have missed Violet’s birthday extravaganza, but he says he sees what it did to her. She says, it’s not the party; it’s the day. He should go back. He says, and leave her alone? but she says she can handle a walk by herself; she’s resourceful. He says she’s one of the most resourceful people he knows, but it’s how it weighs on her that Nelle might get custody. She says, it’s one thing if Nelle objects to elective surgery, but what if Wiley gets worse and she still refuses? He says, Michael has excellent lawyers, and she says, but what if it’s not enough? He says she’s been more of a mother to Wiley than Nelle, and she says, but she’s not his mother.

Olivia sees Robert heading for the door, and says, sneaking out? He says, guilty. He needs her to do him a big favor. She says, it depends on what it is, and he says he has some pressing business to take care of, but he doesn’t want to disappoint Violet or Anna. She says he could play the didgeridoo one more time, and see how Anna feels. He says it’s complicated, and he needs a bit of a cover created. If someone asks if they’ve seen him, she can say she saw him in the kitchen or the garden. If she does that, he would be so much in her debt. She likes the sound of that, and says she’s got it.

On the phone, Peter says he needs the distraction now. The sooner the better. Make it happen.

Aiden goes inside, and Charlotte follows, but Ava is behind her with Avery. Ava says she’s been telling Avery about Charlotte’s horse. It’s too soon for Avery to have lessons, but Avery loves horses. Avery says she and her grandfather had a sleepover with them in the stables. Ava says maybe Avery could watch Charlotte ride, or maybe have a horse of her own. Charlotte tells Avery, the back stall at Windymere is the best. Butterscotch used to have it, but Charlotte doesn’t live there anymore. Avery asks if Charlotte used to live in the big house, and Ava says, Charlotte did, but she and Nikolas live in the house now. She takes Avery back to the party.

Aiden reaches for the piñata, but Charlotte says, don’t touch it! He says he’s not going to hurt it, and she says she’s sorry she yelled. There’s a big surprise in there, and everybody needs to be here to see it.

Jason tells Sonny, he gave Anna a heads up for him, and she said thank you. She hasn’t seen anything out of order, but she’ll keep her eyes open. Then, a half hour later, Cyrus called, asking to meet with Sonny, and for Jason to relay the message. Sonny says, one thing about Cyrus, he’s doing it the right way.

Maxie tells Peter, he missed Georgie getting her fortune told. It was quite an event, but she has it on video. He says he has Invader business to tend to, and she asks if he has to duck out. He promises it’s important, and says he already told Anna goodbye. She says she’ll stay and sit back, watching the kids fight for candy like a teeny Hunger Games, where no one has to die. He says he’ll see her later. We flash back to Maxie in the cemetery, thanking Peter for saving her and the baby, and saying, Nathan would thank him too. We move to her saying that she’s lucky to have Peter in her life, accepting the fund for Nathan, and telling him that the rest of the family will come around. Peter feels the baby kick, and Maxie says she keeps wondering who he’ll be like; her or Nathan. Peter guesses, a little of both, and she says she can’t wait to meet him. Peter says, that makes two of them. Next, Peter asks Maxie to accompany him to the Nurses Ball, Maxie goes into labor on the way, and Peter delivers the baby by the side of the road. We flash back to Maxie telling Peter that she had to atone for mistakes she made too. He says she’s come a long way; maybe there’s hope for him too. We go through their relationship so far; Peter saying she’s his only true friend, and he’ll forever be sorry for hurting her; Maxie saying that being stuck in the elevator with him, personalized her being done with bitterness, and considering she’s been forgiven, it’s her only way to pay it forward; Peter telling Maxie that he cares more about her than anyone he’s ever cared for, and Maxie saying he’s the first person who’s made her feel this way since Nathan; Peter taking Maxie to Paris on a private jet, but them getting stuck in Toronto instead. We see their first kiss, deciding to move in together, and their first Christmas when Maxie gave Peter a personalized stocking, telling him that he’s officially family and she loves him. He tells her that he never had one, and it’s funny how the smallest things get you. We end with Maxie telling Peter, nobody can come between them, except them.

Robert sneaks into Peter and Maxie’s place. We flash back to Anna telling him that he’s targeting Peter, and asking, why can’t he accept the official story? Why can’t he leave it alone? He says he can’t, and she says, there’s no immediate danger or imminent threat. He’s looked the other way before. There’s no reason for him to be digging, except for his almighty ego, and need to be right. He says he’s not going to watch her wreck herself for a murdering SOB. In the apartment, he says, okay, Henrik. Let’s see what you’re hiding.

Franco asks Aiden, what’s up? and tells him to grab the piñata. Aiden tells him, Charlotte said to leave it alone, and Franco suggests they look at it. Ava tells Elizabeth, if someone had said years ago, that Franco would find happiness showing a child a non-violent piñata, she wouldn’t have believed it. Elizabeth says, he’s changed, and Ava says he’s truly, genuinely happy, and it’s all because of Elizabeth. Elizabeth says, they’re pretty happy together, and Ava wishes she could say the same about her and Nikolas. In the beginning, she thought they were a good match; two outsiders, comforting each other. Now she’s not so sure. Elizabeth says they’re completely different people. Ava is an extrovert, and Nikolas has spent his life under the mercy of other people’s opinions. If he did something bad, it wasn’t bad enough, but if he did something good, it wasn’t good enough. He’s given up on his better angel from time to time. Ava says, no wonder he’s lonely. He puts up a great front, but when he’s home alone, he walks through the house, practically haunting it. He had such high hopes for his return, and he got what he wanted, but no one was happy for him. Elizabeth says, he did some reprehensible things. He should have thought twice about it, if he didn’t want to be held accountable. Ava thinks Nikolas thinks so too. It’s taking its toll. There’s an emptiness she can’t reach.

Chase tells Willow, it’s okay, but she says, it’s not. Wiley’s not a person to Nelle. He’s a means to an end; a weapon to use against Michael and his family. He knows Nelle better than anyone. Does he think if the worst happens, and Nelle gets Wiley, she can look past her selfish needs, and think about Wiley’s best interests? She sure as hell doesn’t. We flash back to Nelle in Charlie’s, saying she wants to change Wiley’s name to William; he’ll adjust. Willow tells her, Wiley is a person, and Nelle says she’s sick of Willow and her self-righteousness. She’ll raise Wiley how she pleases, and Willow needs to remember that her son is dead, and stay the hell away from Nelle’s. Willow throws a drink on Nelle. In the park, she tells Chase, sorry she keeps going on about it. Between her and Michael, it’s probably all he hears. He says, there’s a simple solution. It’s not easy, but the way to improve Michael’s chances in fighting Nelle is for Willow to marry him.

Michael tells Carly and Sasha, he keeps going back to Diane’s strategy. It won’t do any good to make Nelle look bad; he has to look good. Carly says, it’s not an acrimonious divorce. It’s not he said she said. Nelle’s crimes are a matter of public record. He says, if he piles it on Nele, it might make the judge more sympathetic. If he calls her out for the horrible, deranged things she’s done, it could backfire, and she could be seen as a victim. We flash back to Nelle being in the hospital, and Michael saying he’s not going anywhere. We move to Nelle saying she admires Carly as a mother. She made a mistake, but at least understand that she wanted to name the baby Morgan to honor him. Let her make things right. We see Nelle telling Michael, their son didn’t make it, and saying the crash killed him. It’s Michael’s fault. He was too busy trying to get her to confess. He says, she’s blaming him? Jonah is dead because of her. She says he was the one driving. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s his. He hated her so much, he killed their baby. He’s ruined everything. We flash back to Nelle in jail, telling Carly, if only she’d known Jonah was alive. Brad ripped him from the safety of her arms. Carly says Nelle will never see Wiley again, and if the legal system doesn’t do it, she will. At the hospital, Carly tells Michael, Nelle is a master victim, and Michael says he has to show the court the reason he’s the best parent for Wiley.

Willow says, Chase told Sasha it was insane, but he says he’s had time to think. He sees Willow agonizing over Wiley, but it’s not his decision to make; it’s hers. If she wants to help, she’s got to marry Michael. If her decision is not to marry him, she’s got to take a step back, and let it be Michael’s problem, not hers. We flash back to Michael telling Willow, Nelle is great at faking it, but she’s the real thing. It’s like saccharine versus sugar. One tastes fine, until you have the real thing. She’s the real thing, and the judge would see her love for Wiley.

Sonny says Cyrus knows better than to contact him, so he’s using Jason as a go-between. Jason asks, why risk it? and Sonny asks if he thinks it’s a risk. Jason says Cyrus ambushed Sonny once, he could do it again. Sonny says, maybe Cyrus wants peace, and Jason says, on his terms. Sonny says, if they were his terms, Cyrus would be gone, and Cyrus knows this. Jason says, Cyrus just got out of prison. The last thing he wants is to be charged with another crime. Sonny could call his bluff by making a concession. Sonny says, that’s not going to happen. He needs to know Cyrus’s next move.

The kids gather around the piñata, and Finn says it’s the moment they’ve been waiting for. Is everybody ready? Anna asks if Violet wants to be first, but Violet says, let somebody else go. Anna spins Violet around, and she points to Charlotte. Charlotte suggests Avery have her turn, but Olivia says if they start messing with the rules, somebody’s feelings will get hurt. Charlotte approaches the piñata, takes a ribbon, and pulls.

Jason tells Sonny, Cyrus is fresh out of prison, far from his base of operations, and lost an expensive shipment. Sonny says, his partners are unhappy, and Jason says, Cyrus can’t come after Sonny unless he knows it will work. It’s Sonny’s city, and he has all the advantages. Sonny says, not all. Cyrus has the Police Commissioner under his thumb. Jason says, Jordan could give Cyrus room to maneuver, and clamp down on them. If Cyrus is free to operate, over time, it could hurt them. Sonny says, that’s the key – over time.

Aiden pulls a piñata ribbon, but nothing happens. Franco tells him, it’s okay. He’s in a perfect position to dive for candy. Violet is spun around, and points to another child. Charlotte looks nervous, but the other kids keep taking a turn, and nothing happens. Danny pulls a ribbon, but still nothing, and now Charlotte is like, come on. Avery is up, but the piñata still doesn’t open. It’s Violet’s turn, and Anna asks where Robert is. He’ll want to see this. Olivia says she thinks he’s on the patio.

Robert looks around, and opens drawers. The front doorknob turns.

The kids chant Violet’s name. She pulls a ribbon, and candy rains down. The kids drop to the floor, scrambling for it. Ava says, it’s precious, and digs in her bag, presumably for her camera. She drops the bag, and Nagini slithers out. Everyone screams, and Charlotte smiles.

On Monday, Robert confronts Spinelli about looking for dirt on Peter (we assume it’s Spinelli whose jiggling the doorknob), Laura tells Lulu that Valentin wants the same thing they all do, and Valentin tells Nikolas to stay away from his daughter.

Tomorrow, the episode from January 17, 2018 is listed in the guide. I can’t decipher exactly which one it is, since the blurb is vague, but it’s around the time of Jim Harvey and Nathan being revealed as Obrecht and Faison’s son.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona has made plans for the women to visit a vineyard. In her interview, she says she wants to make sure they’re not bored and fighting, so they’re going to a winery. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, surprise, surprise. LuAnn woke up complaining about her room. We see a clip where – horrors! – the Countess saw a spider, and tells everyone she’s going to the chiropractor. The women take a limo, and go to the vineyard restaurant for lunch. Leah orders merlot. In her interview, she says she’s not an alcoholic, but didn’t like what alcohol was doing to her life. She stopped drinking, but now drinks when she wants, and she’s been drinking a bit over the last six months. Ramona gets a text from LuAnn saying she can’t make it. She got her neck cracked, and the doctor told her to take it easy. She’ll see them later. In Leah’s interview, she asks, in what world would you invite someone battling sobriety to a winery, and act surprised when they don’t want to go? It’s not a big riddle. Dorinda says after only 24 hours, they got Leah to drink. Ramona says, the weekend isn’t over yet. I didn’t see them pour Leah’s wine, but WTF? It’s like maybe two sips. Either she guzzled something when I wasn’t looking, or they are cheap with a pour. At a winery. In Ramona’s interview, she says bonding means opening up with what they’re feeling inside, and we flash back to her and Bethenny discussing their fathers. She says, that’s how they get close and get to know one another, rather than talking about superficial stuff.

Ramona tells the women, she came from a disruptive household. Growing up, she would play music, and look out the window at the clouds, wondering what was out there for her. Years later, driving back from the Hamptons, she felt like she was sixteen again, questioning what was going on with her life. Dorinda says she has goosebumps, and Ramona tells them, she said, mommy, help me. Sonja is impressed with the self-realization, and says she’d thought Ramona was avoiding the topic. In Ramona’s interview, she says it’s important in life to feel safe with a person, and it scares her that she doesn’t have that in her life. Tinsley says she has the same feeling, and she doesn’t even have a child. At least all of them have had those things, and checked them off. Ramona says, it’s not a box you check, and Dorinda says she enjoys Tinsley, but she has frustration with her. It’s like how they were talking about icebergs on the Discovery channel. As big and beautiful as they are on the surface, 90% of them are under water. She feels like she’s only seeing the tip of Tinsley. It’s not about being nosey, but getting to know her. Sonja says she didn’t even know Tinsley had a new boyfriend.

Tinsley says, Bruce is from Chicago, and has three children and two ex-wives. She’s never really been around children, and was surprised she could deal with that, and be a part of the family. She doesn’t know if it’s going to be long term; she’s not used to being one of an army of people, and wonders, where does she fit in? Leah thinks Brett is being selfish. We see a clip of Leah asking Tinsley if she feels like she’s wasting her time, and Tinsley says she always feels that way. She tells the women, she probably won’t have her own kid with this guy. Every time she sees him, it’s with his family, and she needs alone time with him. Leah says, they’re also socializing with his friends. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she doesn’t like being sixth on the totem pole.

It’s Leah’s turn, and she tells everyone, after high school, her parents sent her to rehab. When they came to get her, they told her she wasn’t coming home. In her interview, she says she was an effed up teenager, and put her parents through hell. They told her that they couldn’t have her disrupting her brother’s and sister’s lives. She tells the women, her parents told her that they couldn’t have her there, and took her to a halfway house run by nuns. They drove her to a nunnery in Upstate New York, and drove off. She wondered what was happening to her life, but later realized that her mother was trying to save her life. She had to face the consequences of the things she was doing, but it gave her perseverance. She’s been though the worst. In Ramona’s interview, she says Leah had the vulnerably to confide in them, and she has empathy, since she went through a bit of that herself

Dorinda gets weepy, and says she needs another napkin. She’s been crying for a month, and doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. She says she’s scared every day, and starts to cry. Leah asks what she’s scared of, and Ramona comes around the table and hugs her. Dorinda says everyone thinks she’s strong and able. She’s the anchor for everyone’s boat, but sometimes she wants to be the boat, and be anchored by someone else. Ramona says Dorinda is overwhelmed, and Dorinda says she’s always running the show. Ramona says Dorinda does for everybody, and in Dorinda’s interview, she says, life is heavy. She wakes up worried, and goes to bed worried, and has no one to share the burden with. John never had these kinds of responsibilities. She’s tapped out. Leah says the pressure is always on women to do everything.

Ramona says Sonja is next. Sonja says she’s at the point Ramona was, wondering how she got there. She runs around, pays the bills, and has one foot in the nursing home. She didn’t sign up for this. Then you die. Dorinda says, she thought they were supposed to be expressing their hearts, and Leah wonders where the oxygen tank is. In her interview, Dorinda says, Sonja has had a couple of drinks, and she’s talking about everything except what makes her vulnerable. Stop her. Ramona looks at her phone, and says she’s checking on where she’s having her party. In her interview, she says she’s having a fabulous cocktail party at Joe Ferrell’s home. It’s stunning, and the women’s mouths are going to drop.

Back at the house, Tinsley tells Leah, she went on a date with Joe, and it was the lamest date ever. It was a basketball game. Leah says, and he didn’t even feed her or anything. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she found out he’d also dated Bethenny. He wasn’t her type, and she doesn’t think he drinks either.

LuAnn gets back, and in her interview, she says she didn’t want to miss any bonding, but she’s glad she took care of her neck. She didn’t sleep well, and between the spiders and the smell, she’s not comfortable. Dorinda asks how Ramona’s afternoon was, and Ramona admits she had had date. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s never seen a person slip in and out of dates so quickly. It’s like sliding doors. We flash back to Ramona leaving various events for a date, and Dorinda says, it’s impressive. Ramona says he was Persian, sexy, and more flirtatious than she is.

Ramona tells LuAnn to come to her bathroom to do makeup. LuAnn goes upstairs, and in her interview, Ramona says LuAnn’s floral dress does not belong in the Hamptons. It belongs in Nantucket or Atlanta. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she’s glad she missed lunch. By the looks of it, Sonja was over-served, and they’re not even at the party yet.

On the way to the party, in one limo, Ramona tells Dorinda that Joe is a major developer. In the other limo, LuAnn tells Sonja that she’s interested to see the house. Sonja says, Ramona is a social butterfly, who needs to be knocked down a notch. It’s not a good look. Sonja says she’s trying to hang onto her long term friends, but Ramona is more interested in the rent-a-crowd, party filler people. In Sonja’s interview, she says, Ramona is showing off her fancy friends, but it’s just another boring party, with stiff people, and a lot of small talk. She thinks Ramona forgot what’s important in life.

The house, named Sandcastle, is massive, and there’s a humongous mirror in the entryway. Ramona says she’s in love with it, which is no surprise. LuAnn says the house is for sale, and Sonja says no wonder they were invited. She realizes that the four of them sharing the limo – her, LuAnn, Tinsley, and Leah – all have mug shots. Leah’s says, it’s a bunch of weird white people, and in her interview, she says, it’s not the type of party she’s used to. It’s weird Eyes Wide Shut sh*t. By the end, she’s going to be taken to a back room and made to be someone’s bitch. (I just have to interject that I had a hard time keeping my eyes wide open when I saw Eyes Wide Shut. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as I thought it would be, and that one-note piano score was sleep inducing.) Sonja is disappointed that there’s no gin, and goes for Tito’s. Ramona introduces everyone, and Sonja says she’s being so formal. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, Sonja lived like Ramona is pretending to. Sonja tells Ramona, they might be in a $39 million home, but act like she’s in her $7 million home; she likes to be down-to-earth. In Ramona’s interview, she says, with Sonja, she has to bring herself down, while with her other friends, she has to elevate herself.

Ramona accuses Leah of chewing gum, like it’s a crime, and Leah says, no, she’s not. She walks outside with Tinsley, and says she swallowed it. Ramona’s eyes scared the hell out of her. She saw Ramona’s eyes, and just swallowed the gum. Ramona just scolded her, but she’s not from the royal family. Inside, Sonja says she thinks Leah is classy, but doesn’t look classy; she’s rough around the edges. Ramona thanks Joe for letting her use the house. In her interview, Tinsley says, it’s weird seeing Joe. She thinks he and Ramona would make a good couple. The way Ramona is batting her lashes, he seems to be into it. She tells Leah, Ramona is flirting as usual. In her interview, Leah says, Joe seems like a nice older gentlemen. Men who are short and unattractive still have women running after them if they have money. It’s the world we live in. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, it’s hard not to drink. The bar is there, and everyone is drinking. She was hoping Leah would be her wingman by not drinking, but it’s not happening. She’s lost her sober companion.

Ramona gathers everyone for a house tour, and they check out the bowling alley in the basement. The women are impressed, and Joe says his house just made him hotter. In her interview, Leah says, exhibit A. She rests her case. Tinsley is having a hard time bowling in heels, and gets a gutter ball. On the way downstairs, Dorinda tells LuAnn that she thinks touring houses is tacky. In her interview, Dorinda says she lived with her husband in London, and they don’t do house tours. You see the living room and the dining room, and maybe the kitchen. Maybe. LuAnn and Dorinda do some bowling, and LuAnn gets a strike. In another room, Joe shows them a half pipe he had put in for his son, and a DJ booth. There’s also a swing that can be hoisted to the ceiling, and when Ramona goes up in it, it makes me nervous. It’s not like there’s a seat belt.

Mutual friend Elyse joins them, and Dorinda says she was married to a hedge fund guy. They discuss clothes, and Elyse says she’s not a huge shopper. Investments, yes; clothes, no. Sonja says her husband always bought her clothes, and Elyse says Sonja was his accessory. Sonja takes offense, insisting they were partners. Elyse says Sonja was a trophy wife, and Sonja starts to get loud, telling Elyse to clip it. Elyse says, Sonja brought men to their knees, and Sonja keeps repeating, take it back, until Elyse takes it back. Sonja says, Tinsley was a trophy wife, which annoys Tinsley. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she and Topper met at boarding school, and they were the same age. Sonja was a hostess when she met her husband, who was a hundred. That’s the definition of a trophy wife. Sonja announces that she doesn’t shave her p*ssy. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, Sonja is drunk, but she doesn’t think Elyse should be talking like that. It’s no one’s business to pass judgement on what roll any of them played in their husbands’ lives. LuAnn tells Dorinda, Sonja is off the rails, and shouldn’t have kept drinking. She’s going to be out like a light. Dorinda says, or it will be batten down the hatches.

The women check out the buffet, and LuAnn wants someone to tell her why she left her own beautiful house to spend the weekend in Ramona’s basement. It smells like dog piss. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, the room is also fully stocked with liquor. She noticed. Sonja tells Ramona to go sit with her rich friends. She’s treating them like chicken liver. Everyone is like, um… that’s chopped liver. In Ramona’s interview, she says, when Sonja acts like this, it’s no wonder she’s not invited to certain events. Sonja says they’re not important to Ramona, and Dorinda says, Sonja is on a roll. Leah sits down, and Sonja points to a young guy sitting at the table, saying he wants to have sex with her. Leah says, who wouldn’t want to have sex with her? In Leah’s interview, she says, watching Sonja eye-f*** this dude is the best part of the whole party. She wonders if Sonja would say, never mind, if he had a tattoo. She doesn’t think so. The guy asks if Sonja wants a drink, and Ramona suggests he get Sonja some club soda. Sonja tells him, just show her his driver’s license, and they’re good to go. She has an amazing vagina. LuAnn joins them, wondering what’s happening, and Sonja asks how her p*ssy is. LuAnn looks down, and says, it’s all still there. Sonja says she stole the show, but they’re not getting laid tonight. It’s all quite astonishing. And astonishing that Sonja is invited anywhere.

In her interview, Leah says, Sonja is not just entertaining, she’s embarrassing. They get up from the table, and Sonja says Ramona is a party popper [sic]. Ramona says, the party is over, and Sonja says, Ramona is over. She tries to latch on to a guy going past, and LuAnn says he’s married and has a baby. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s like Godzilla has been let loose, and Godzilla is drunk. Ramona steers them all out, and a guy named Eddie asks if every night is like this.

Sonja tries to go back, but Dorinda says, no, you’re not. Sonja says Dorinda is getting in between her and her vagina. Dorinda wonders why Sonja does this to herself – and them.

I’ve been wondering why I like this show when it’s just as drama laden as RHOBH. The lightbulb came on just now. The women are just as self-centered, and sometimes as mean, as the women in Beverly Hills. But when they’re mean, it’s because they want attention or they’re thoughtless – not because they’re deliberately being cruel or want to get back at each other. Huge difference. Same drama, but different intention. It’s kind of like the difference between 2 Broke Girls and King of Queens. The people are both awful, but on 2 Broke Girls, you know when push came to shove, they’d do anything for one another or even to help a stranger. On King of Queens, they’d trample each other to get to a fire exit. But they’re not real, so it can be funny. Okay, digression – and commercial break – over.

It’s 10 am, when Dorinda knocks on Ramona’s door. She says, there’s a problem. LuAnn left, and she’s written an out-of-control text. Ramona says she saw a car pull out last night, and thought someone stole her car. Dorinda doesn’t know why she was cc’d, and reads the text addressed to Ramona. LuAnn says, it’s not the fish room part two. She has an amazing home, and there, she had to share a bathroom with someone she didn’t know or be in the basement, where there’s dog piss and spiders. She’s always lowest on the totem pole when it comes to rooms. Ramona says she asked LuAnn if she wanted a room on the  ground floor, and thinks LuAnn just wanted to go home. Dorinda wonders why LuAnn can’t just say she doesn’t want be downstairs, and that it feels lonely. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, LuAnn always has an issue with the room. We flash back to Vermont, when LuAnn whined that she was just married and back from Palm Springs, so her room could have been nicer; and Great Barrington, where LuAnn griped that the best room was being saved for Bethenny, who’d just been through a tragedy. Dorinda says, and Ramona’s house. Dorinda thinks there’s a theme going on here.

Ramona calls LuAnn, and gets voicemail. Dorinda tells her to be careful with what she says. Ramona says she hopes LuAnn got home safe. She’s sorry LuAnn felt isolated, and that she wasn’t being more aware of how LuAnn felt. She was concentrating on superficial things, when it was important to bond, and she never meant to make LuAnn feel that way. She asks LuAnn to come back, and she’ll try to make it up to her. I’m kind of surprised, since Ramona actually sounds sincere. She tells Dorinda that LuAnn felt rejected, and she gets that. In her interview, Ramona says she doesn’t want LuAnn to feel bad. She was preparing for eight women, cooking, cleaning, and shopping, and effed up.

Sonja wonders what happened last night, and thinks she had a great time. Ramona asks if she’s straight yet, and tells her about LuAnn leaving at 1 am. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn was humbled by her probation for ten seconds. Now everything’s not good enough. Sonja reads the text, and they all want to see the basement, and troop downstairs. Sonja deems it a party palace. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it was either sleeping in the guest room, or being home. A bed, television, and bathroom is enough.

Ramona’s phone rings. It’s LuAnn.

Next time, Ramona and LuAnn have a tennis match; a cute dog groomer comes to groom Marley, and LuAnn says she’d like to be groomed; a game of beer pong is played; Leah goes off the deep end; and Ramona wails over the remnants of a very messy party.

📡 John Olivier and LuAnn were guests on Watch What Happens Live (quarantine edition), and John was too funny. He was enthralled with next week’s RHONY preview, and how it went from, I think there’s vodka in that, to I think she’ll be okay, to a naked Leah pulling a tiki torch out of the ground, to a guy nobody knows saying, I think I should go. He said, if someone would ask which he liked better, that or Parasite, he would say Parasite, but he’d be lying.

👨🏾‍🍳 On Top Chef, the chefs arrived to find stations for each of them, with utensils, aprons, and tablets. They each got a phone call from a loved one; wives, moms, sisters, and friends, and chatted for a while. Padma came in and told them to gather around. Their loved ones were going to be an integral part of the Quickfire challenge. They were all at Mozza, an upscale restaurant, and the chefs would have to replicate whatever dish their person was eating, using their instructions given over the phone. The dish had to look and taste the same, but a photo couldn’t be texted. They had thirty minutes to cook the dish, which I probably don’t have to point out, isn’t very long. As usual, the winner would be exempt from elimination, but they would also receive $10K courtesy of the show’s partner, Metro. Kevin said the run for ingredients reminded him of the streets of Manhattan; everyone was running around like lunatics, wearing headphones, and screaming at someone no one else could see. Since each loved one had a different set of communication skills, it was pretty funny to watch the chefs try to decipher what it was they were going to make. After cooking/plating time was up, a photo of the dish was texted to them, so they could see how close they came. Guest judge Nancy Silverton, owner of the Mazzo restaurant group, and whose dishes were being reproduced, was introduced. Bryan had a totally different dish, so it was the least favorite, but Nancy made a point of saying it was still delicious. Kevin was the winner (aw! I like him), and he called his wife, saying that her being super detail oriented panned out. In his interview, he said his successes had always been because of her, and he was glad they got the opportunity to enjoy the victory together.

Nancy explained that, in addition to her restaurants, she was also an entrepreneur. She had the Bakery Bread company, and was starting a gelato line called Nancy’s Fancy. The chefs were to create a signature product to bring to the Westfield Century City Food Festival. They would be giving out samples of food using their creation, and the shoppers would each get one ticket to receive one product. The chefs’ loved ones would assist them in the making of the product, and they were given $600 to shop at Whole Foods. While making dumplings, the kitchen got a little too hot for Lee Anne’s mom, who came close to fainting, and had to lie down. In Lee Anne’s interview, she said her mom was her main consideration, but she still had to be in the competition – alone – and finish a million dumplings. Okay, it was really 150. Several of the others came to rescue, and she said she was touched that she had great people willing help. I was pretty impressed with that myself. Afterwards, Bryan ranked the others in a notebook, no surprise, putting himself at the top. He’s starting to get on my nerves.

At the food festival, the chefs labeled their products. Melissa ended up being the top seller, receiving tickets for 31 bottles of kimchee vinaigrette. She said she’d wanted to create a versatile product, which seemed to be key. Nancy picked Gregory as the winner of the challenge with some Haitian pickled veggies that I wouldn’t mind a jar of. The bottom three were Stephanie, Jennifer, and Bryan full of Malarkey. In his interview, he whined that his product sold well, and tasted amazing, because he knows better than the judges. Stephanie was told her marinara sauce was nothing different than was already out there. Bryan’s salsa whatever was oily, and Tom said it was confusing as to what he was actually selling. Stephanie’s ginger lemon sauce, which sounded like a good idea, was deemed not smooth enough by Tom, and Nancy thought Stephanie had diluted the flavor by mixing in yogurt. Tom did say he was impressed with how quickly the chefs all came up decent product on the first try, saying it had taken twelve times for him to get his first product correct. He also conceded that in a crowded market, it was hard to get something to stand out.

While I was hoping Bryan would be packing his knives and going, it was Jennifer who was moving on to Last Chance Kitchen. She says she was from Philly, and Rocky kept coming back. In her interview, she told us, the competition had done so much good for her; she’d learned a lot about herself. She started off wanting things done her way, and it motivated her to be better. She now accepted that she makes mistakes, and wanted to learn. Her best memory was going to be cooking with her sister. The loss couldn’t change how happy the challenge made her.

Next time, the elimination challenge will be a celebration of the 100th Anniversary of the L.A. Philharmonic, the chefs will pair up, and it will be a double elimination. In the preview, Lee Anne said shopping with Bryan was like shopping with monkeys on crack.

🏕 Coming May 4th

I’m hoping this isn’t like Summer House at camp, but it looks like it probably is.

https://www.bravotv.com/camp-getaway

👯‍♂️ But Not Too Close…

We’re getting there, and I hope in the meantime, you’re getting up and getting dressed. No slippers before 6 pm, and make that bed. Unless you don’t normally make your bed, then disregard that. Stay safe, and wear that mask with pride.