What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Nina and Ava clink martini glasses at the PC Grill, and Nina asks what they’re drinking to. Ava says, roommates, and her gratitude to Nina for taking her in. Nina suggests they drink to Ava’s freedom, now that she’s declared her new independence from all things Cassadine. Ava says, freedom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, is it? and Nina says, Ava misses him. Ava says, she does; Victor, not so much. She thinks they should drink to love, since Nina has found it with Sonny, and Nina says, things with Sonny have never been better, even though she tests the relationship by getting into everyone else’s business, but she’s only doing that because she’s trying to help his family. Ava asks what Nina did, and Nina says, Willow is spending more time with her hunky doctor friend than she does with Michael. Ava says, and what is a well-meaning woman like Nina to think?
Michael says he wants to ask Willow a favor, and she says, whatever it is, she’ll do her best. He says, she’s in the fight of her life right now, but she’s not in it alone. Their baby is with her, he’s with her, and Wiley is with her. So please, from now on, can she be honest?
At the gatehouse on the phone, Josslyn says, four bedtime stories later, Wiley’s finally asleep. Still at work, Cameron says, she’s such a good big sister to babysit at the last minute. She says she babysat for one night. Meanwhile, he’s been babysitting Jake and Aiden for half his life. He says, they’re not always thrilled about that, but she says, they’re lucky to have him. And so is she. He says, just for that, he’ll come over and help her babysit, but she says he doesn’t have to. He says he wants to. He’ll finish up at Kelly’s, and he’ll make his way over to her. She says, all right. She’ll see him whenever. He comes out, and sees a woman sitting at one of the tables. He says, the kitchen is closing up, and asks if he can get her anything. Heather says she hears the BLTs are to die for.
On the phone at the crash scene, Jordan says, check all the locations in the file, and report back. She tells Dante that she has a patrol car checking out all prior locations listed for Heather Webber, but it’s going to take a while. She has a long history in Port Charles. Him? He says, nothing. No Anna, no Heather, no driver. She says, according to Mac, they found Jack Hicks, the intended driver that was supposed to take Anna to Pentenville. He says, alive? and she says, alive and completely unharmed. They found him tied up in a vacant lot with a bag over his head. His license and ID badge were missing, and it seems he was grabbed from behind; he never saw who did it. Dante says he knows Hicks. He’s telling the truth. Jordan says, which means someone planted a phony driver, and Dante says, the guard must have caught on to what was going on, pulled the wheel, and caused the crash. She says, now they have two fugitives, and he says, but not remotely equal threats, right? Anna has an agenda, but Heather Webber is capable of anything.
Josslyn sits down to study, and someone lurks outside.
On the phone at the docks, Elizabeth asks, how long before the launch returns?… She needs to get to Spoon Island immediately… Okay. She’ll call Mr. Cassadine herself. She hears something, and asks, who’s there? She’s not alone. Esme comes out from behind a crate, and says, true; she’s not alone. It’s just you and me.
Nina tells Ava, Willow’s been spending so much time consulting with TJ Ashford, always whispering with each other. It’s weird. She had to speak up. Ava tells her, admit it. After the way Michael and Willow shut her out of Wiley’s life, she couldn’t wait to get in there and stir that pot. Nina says she doesn’t know that that’s it… All right. In retrospect, maybe she misinterpreted their relationship. Ava says, if that’s the case, Nina should have no problem setting it right, and Nina says she’d love to do that. She just doesn’t know how to. Ava says, Nina starts by swallowing her pride, and apologizing for misjudging Willow.
Michael says he understands why Willow didn’t want to tell him when she was first diagnosed, and he’s not asking for or expecting full disclosure. If there’s something she doesn’t want to tell him, he can accept that, but when she does tell him something, he needs her to be honest. She says she honestly needs him to hold her, and he does.
Someone walks around the gatehouse, and Josslyn wonders if Annabelle got out. She opens the door, and sees Dex wandering around. She asks what the hell he’s doing here, and realizes he’s bleeding.
Jordan says, it’s hard to believe Heather Webber has an accomplice capable of breaking her out of custody, and Dante says, her last connection to the outside world was Franco. Jordan says, which means someone set this up for Anna to escape. The judge got one thing right when they denied bail; Anna has the skills to disappear. Dante says, and the motivation to prove her innocence, whether she does that by finding Lucy, or finding out who made Lucy disappear. He wonders who arranged the whole thing, and Jordan says, Valentin Cassadine. Dante says, he’s not in his office, he’s not in his MetroCourt hotel room, and he’s not answering the phone number they have for him, and she says, if it wasn’t Valentin, someone else helped Anna. He says, like who? and she says, his father and Anna are close, aren’t they?
Cameron says he knows Heather; she’s Franco’s mom. Isn’t she supposed to be… someplace else? She says, aren’t we all? It’s Cam, right? She remembers when he was just a lad, playing games with that sweet little Emma. He says, she’s still sweet, but she’s all grown up now, and Heather says, and that privileged brat, Spencer Cassadine. Did he grow up to be more obnoxious than ever? He says, Spencer hasn’t had it as easy as she thinks, and she says, good. She remembers chasing the three of them all over Spoon Island, as if she was some kind of monster. Imagine. He says, who could forget? and asks if there’s someone he should call for her. She asks him to come closer, and when he does, she says, yes. She can see Franco in his eyes. He says, she does realize they’re not related, right? but she says, the good live on because we keep them alive. But the bad, they get what they deserve.
Elizabeth tells Esme that Nikolas said she fled the country, and Esme tells her, Nikolas says a lot of things… all of them lies. And if she knows Nikolas, he’s made sure the launch stays on the island. Elizabeth says she’s calling the police, and Esme says, why? She hasn’t done anything. Elizabeth says, she tried to poison that bartender to keep him from testifying for Trina, she took that video of her son and Josslyn; she’s sick. She tells the operator that she just spotted a fugitive. Esme Prince is on Pier 55. Esme lunges for Elizabeth, grabbing at the phone, and Elizabeth falls, hitting her head. Esme bends down, and Elizabeth opens her eyes for a moment, but everything is fuzzy, and she blacks out.
Willow says she wants a favor from Michael too. She doesn’t want to tell anyone yet. He says, his family is her family. They love her, and will support her. She says she knows they will, but they’ll also treat her differently. They won’t see her anymore; they’ll see her with leukemia. She’s just not ready for that. He says he gets it. She’s the one with leukemia, so she gets to fight the way feels is best, but how long can they keep this a secret when they need to find a donor match?
Nina finishes her martini, and gets up. Ava asks where she’s going, and Nina says, Ava suggested she apologize to Willow. Ava tells Nina not to do it on her account. She doesn’t want to be the one to lead Nina astray. Ava tells the waiter, two more, but Nina says, just one more, and says, Ava only pointed out what she already knew. She needs to make almonds amends, and own up to her mistakes. Ava says, good luck then, and Nina says she has the feeling she’s going to need it. She leaves, and Victor is outside. He says, how unexpected. No Mr. Corinthos to protect her? Nina says she doesn’t need Sonny’s protection from the likes of him, and keeps walking. He chuckles, and looks inside to see Ava draining her martini. He takes out his phone, and says, any word yet on his son?… Keep looking. If you find Valentin, you’ll find Anna, and whoever else aided and abetted her escape.
Josslyn helps Dex to the couch, and asks, what happened? Breathing heavily, he says, he can’t… and she says, he can lie to her later. She asks to see his wound, and he says he doesn’t lie to her. She says, okay. He can refuse to answer her later. Let her see his side. She pulls aside his shirt, seeing his bloody T-shirt, and he says, it’s just a crease. No internal bleeding; no bullet to get out. She says, he’s shot, and he says he shouldn’t be here. She says, but he is, and he’s bleeding from a gun wound. Give her one good reason not to call the cops. He says he’s asking her not to.
Cameron puts a BLT and fries in front of Heather, and she says, no ketchup? He goes to get some, and she tells the sandwich, I’ve missed you. She takes a blissful bite, and Cameron brings the ketchup. She bangs on the bottom of the bottle to get it out, and talking with her mouth full, she says, so he must be in college by now. He asks how she knows, considering she’s been away. She says, Franco came to visit Her at D’Archam a few times. He couldn’t stop talking about Cameron and his brothers. Cameron says he misses Franco every day, and she says, you and me both. She never had the chance to say goodbye. She picks up a steak knife, and says, Cameron never told her, what’s the latest on his royal highness, Prince Spencer? Cameron says, he’s in Pentenville, and she says, really? With his connections? He must have committed a major felony. Homicide? Grand larceny? It doesn’t matter. It’s nice to know he’s in the same club. He asks if she likes it behind bars, and she says, it’s home. He asks what exactly she’s doing here, and I gotta say, I’m loving this Heather.
Dante tells Jordan, it’s no secret Anna and his father are friends, and it did occur to him that Sonny might be involved in this. She says, she doesn’t expect him to bring in his father for questioning. She’ll speak to Sonny herself. Her phone rings, and she says she hopes it’s Mac with a lead. She answers, then says, send every unit in the area. They can’t let her get away. Dante says, Heather? but she says, Esme Prince was spotted on Pier 55. He says, copy that, and she says, wait here. She’ll handle Esme.
Nikolas grabs Esme from behind, and asks what she did to Elizabeth. She says, nothing. She tripped. Nikolas says, she’s lying, and asks if Esme stabbed her. Is she bleeding? Esme says, no. She just fell down. Elizabeth sees a fuzzy Nikolas become clear, and he says, trust me. She passes out again.
Willow says, Terry has already put her in the registry, and is searching for a donor, and Michael says, maybe there’s more they can do. The best donor would be a relative. She says she doesn’t have any. Her father could be anyone, and her birth mother vanished without a trace. There’s a knock on the door, Michael says, come in, and Nina walks in.
Josslyn says, Dex is lucky Willow is a nurse. She has way more than bandages in this thing. She opens a first aid kit, and he asks if there’s a suture kit. She asks if he means like needles for stitches, and he says he can use a sewing needle, but it’s better if it’s sterile. She says, better is he’s in a hospital, but he says he can’t. She says, he won’t, and those are two different concepts entirely. He says he never should have come here, and she asks why he did. He says he’s not thinking clearly; he just got shot. He doesn’t want her involved in this, but she says, it’s a little late for that. He says he knows it’s too late. He messed up. The less she knows, the better. Give him the kit. She asks if he’s going to sew himself up, and he says, it’s better than continuing to bleed. She says, okay, Jason Bourne. She’s not going to stand here while he sews himself up. He says, then leave the room, but she says, no.
Heather shovels fries in her mouth, and tells Cameron, there’s nothing like this back at D’Archam. She told JoJo, you use too much grease. You should try the duck fat. But he thinks she’s crazy. Cameron asks how she got here, and she says, field trip. As good as these fries are, she’s going to need a soda to wash it down. A can, but put ice in a glass. He says, coming right up, goes in the back, and calls Dante.
Dante asks, what’s up? and Cameron says, Heather Webber is at Kelly’s. Dante says he’s on his way, and Cameron brings Heather’s soda and glass of ice to the table. He says, anything else? and she picks up the knife again. She says, he called the cops, didn’t he?
Ava is working on her second martini, and Victor says, may I? He sits across from her, but she says she’s here with a friend. He says he’ll keep her seat warm. Just because Ava and Nikolas have finally seen the light, and agreed to divorce, doesn’t mean they have to be enemies. She tells him, says man the holding Nikolas’s confession over his head, and he says, we use the tools we’re given. He’s sorry things between her and his nephew didn’t work out, but honestly, it’s better for everyone if it’s over. She says, the divorce isn’t final; nothing’s over yet. He says, she has far too much going on to be dragged down by a marriage that can only end one of two ways – badly or very badly. She says, don’t be so sure, and he says he’s very sure she and Nikolas bring out the worst in each other. Just ask the late Esme Prince.
Esme struggles with Demetrius outside of Windymere, and Nikolas says, if she’d be good enough to step inside. She says, tell his Greek freak to let go of her, and Demetrius pushes her in the castle. Nikolas thanks him, and says he’ll remember Demetrius at Christmas. Demetrius leaves, and Esme says, every time she thinks Nikolas can’t sink any lower, he proves her wrong. Is this really how he treats his friends, leaving Miss Baldwin out on the pier? He says, Elizabeth was safer there, waiting for the authorities, than being with Esme another second. Esme says, when Elizabeth wakes up, he’s toast.
Deanna tells Elizabeth, try to relax, and Elizabeth says, and let the IV do its work. Deanna says, she’s got it, when Jordan comes in. Deanna says she needs to wait outside, but Jordan says, it’s a police matter. How is she? Deanna says, the attending says she has a mild concussion. They’re monitoring her. Jordan says she needs to ask some questions, but Deanna says, it’s not a good time. Jordan says, she’ll make it brief, and Deanna says she’ll see what Dr. Westbourne has to say, but Elizabeth says, it’s okay. Deanna says she’ll be right outside if Elizabeth needs her, and tells Jordan, brief questions. She leaves, and Jordan says, she was on Route 55 when she heard Elizabeth had been brought in. She needs to know who did this to her.
Nina says she needs to speak to Willow, but Michael says he doesn’t care. She needs to leave now, or he’ll have security escort her out. Willow says, it’s okay. Is this about TJ and her? Their secret affair? Nina says she needs to apologize. She completely misinterpreted the situation. Michael says, she saw a chance to cause trouble, and she took it, but Nina says, believe it or not, she was thinking about Wiley. She didn’t want him to deal with the pain of a broken home. Michael says, Nina wasn’t thinking about him. She barges in, tears the family apart, and takes what she wants. Nina says, for once, this isn’t about Michael and his endless grudge. She came here because she’s truly, truly sorry. Willow says, how dare Nina imply she’s ever be unfaithful? That she would jeopardize the family that means everything to her? Nina says, she was wrong. She wants to make almonds amends. Is there anything she can do? Willow says, there is something she can do – drop dead. She walks out, Michael following.
Josslyn cuts Dex’s shirt off, but the part over the wound is stuck by the blood. She says, this part’s sticking, but he tells her, just pull it off. She says, on three. One… two… She rips it off, and he yelps, saying, she told him three. She says, sorry. She thought it would hurt less if she surprised him. He says, no more surprises, and she says, this is disgusting; she’s never done this before. He says he told her, he’ll do it, but she says, no. She asks if he thinks he could stand. She thinks she’d have a better angle. She helps him up, and says, maybe he should lie down, but he says he’ll be fine. Just give him a chair or something to lean on. He feels dizzy, and might lose his balance.
Cameron asks why Heather thinks he’d call the cops, and she says she tries not to raise her expectations. Dante looks in the window, and she says, people are flawed, and she’s learned to accept their failings, for the most part. Didn’t Franco ever tell him the story of Pinocchio, and what happened to the little wooden boy when he told a lie? Cameron says, his nose grew, but she says, no. He was carved into little pieces and turned into sawdust… Just kidding. She laughs, and Dante comes in. He says, police. Hands where he can see them. She raises her hands, and asks, what took him so long?
Elizabeth says she was on her way to Spoon Island, to Windymere, and Jordan asks, what happened? She says, Esme happened, and Jordan asks if Esme attacked her, but Elizabeth says she’s not really sure. She knew Esme was coming toward her, but the next thing she knew, she was on the ground. Jordan asks, what prevented Esme from doing worse? and Elizabeth says, not what; who. Someone else was there.
Nikolas says, Esme doesn’t know Elizabeth. She won’t give him up. Esme says she woudn’t be too sure about that. Before she could stop her, Elizabeth called 9-1-1 and told them she’d seen Esme Prince. He says, Elizabeth was disoriented; she could have imagined it. She says, keep telling himself that. And what happens when Elizabeth’s head clears, and she realizes Esme was there? And what happens when the cops get wind of her being back in Port Charles? Where does he think they’ll look first? Here, her last known residence. So face it, when Elizabeth starts talking, his days are numbered. He says he woudn’t gloat. If his days are numbered, so are hers.
Esme says she bets Nikolas is thinking of all the ways he’d like to dispose of her. Toss her off a parapet; been there, done that. Shoot her; guns can be traced. Knife, ax, chainsaw; ugh, the mess. His dry cleaner would never forgive him. Or she supposes he could go all Borgia on her and poison her soup, but then what becomes of the next Cassadine? He says, she’s right; it’s quite a conundrum. And if she’s also right about the police, he can’t keep her here, especially after she tried to kill him. She says, really? and he says, as real as the hook she tried to use. She says she doesn’t know who attacked him, but it wasn’t her, and he says, right. Like she didn’t try to kill Ava and Diane Miller. Or succeed in killing Brando and Oz Haggerty. She says she didn’t hurt those people. She’s innocent. He says, she may be many things, but innocent is one thing she isn’t.
Elizabeth tells Jordan, her head was spinning. All she could see was Esme standing over her. Jordan asks if she was holding anything, and Elizabeth says, like a hook? No. Or if she was, Elizabeth didn’t see it. Jordan says, but she did see someone else on the pier. Who was it? Elizabeth says she doesn’t know, and Jordan asks if she can describe them. Elizabeth says, all she knows is, somebody was there. Then she heard sirens, and she must have passed out. She’s sorry she doesn’t remember more. Jordan says, she’s been helpful, but if she remembers anything else, call her. On her way out the door, she radios for a BOLO out on Esme Prince; consider her armed and dangerous.
Dante says he needs Heather to drop the knife please, and she says, since he asked so nicely… She drops it on the floor, and asks if he wants to share the rest of her sandwich. He says, no thanks, and picks up the knife with the hanky he apparently carries. I don’t know one human who carries an actual hanky, and this has been two in two days. He says, a lot of people are worried about her, and she says she’s sorry to hear it. She was on her way home to D’Archam, and found herself by the side of the road, feeling hungry, and she found herself at Kelly’s with little Cam. What are the odds? He says, life is pretty funny, huh? About the accident, does she know what caused it? She says, not a clue. Sure he doesn’t want to split the sandwich? He says he wishes; he’s on a diet. He asks Cameron to wrap up the sandwich, so Heather can take it with her, and Heather says she wants the fries too. Cameron takes them to box them up, and Heather says, both handsome and kind. The quality of the public servants in Port Charles has definitely improved.
Ava says, Victor must be frantic, searching high and low for Lucy. How does he find the time to meddle in her love life? He says his heart yearns to be with Lucy again, no matter how futile the longing. But seeing her eases the pain. He sees a bright future ahead for her. Nina comes back, and Ava says, Victor was just leaving. Johann, wearing a new beard, peeks in, and Victor says, perfect timing. Always a pleasure. He leaves, and Nina sits down. Ava asks, how’d it go? Tell her what happened. Putting her elbows on the table, Nina cups her chin with her hands.
Victor says, any news about his son? but Johann says, nothing. Victor says, what about Anna? and Johann says, not a trace. There’s a family matter of particular importance to Victor.
Josslyn says, if Dex passes out, and rips this open, this is all for nothing. He says he’s not passing out; it hurts too much. She tells him, talk to her. Say anything. Talk to her as a distraction. He says he doesn’t want her distracted, but she says, no, not for her; for him. As she works, he says, someday, he’d like to live by the ocean and learn to surf. She asks, why surfing? and he says, it just seems peaceful to be out on the water, with no distractions – he winces in pain – just sky, and the waves, and the sound of the ocean. She says, it can be like that, and he says, she knows how to surf? She says, her dad’s Australian. She didn’t really have a choice. He asks if it’s hard to learn, but she says she doesn’t remember learning. She just kind of always knew how. He asks if she could teach someone, and she says, that depends. He says, on what? and she says, on who wants to learn. It’s all done.
Josslyn comes out with a shirt, and tells Dex, this is Michael’s. Dex says, he won’t miss it? and she says, he has a lot of shirts. She helps him up, and into the sleeves, and they share a lingering look. He says he’s got it, and buttons the shirt. She gathers up his clothes in a sheet, and says she’ll take this stuff to the car until they can figure out what to do with it. She leaves, and he says, unbelievable. The room lights up with the headlights of a car pulling into the driveway.
Ava tells Nina that she’s sorry. She never should have suggested it. Nina says, that’s okay. It was her bright idea to go rushing out and apologize to Willow. She was not open to it at all. She was offensive and offended. Can Ava do her a favor? The next time she decides to reach out an olive branch to Willow, tell her to forget about it. Victor approaches, and says he apologies for the interruption, but he’s just been given some important information. Ava says, about Lucy? but he says, sadly no; about another missing person. The police have issued a be-on-the-lookout for a Miss Esme Prince. Apparently, she’s been spotted in Port Charles alive and well. He says, ladies, and leaves, Ava possibly swallowing her olive.
Deanna says, any pain? and Elizabeth says, a slight headache. Deanna says, dizziness, nausea? and Elizabeth says, no. Deanna says, blurry vision? Sensitivity to light? Elizabeth says, no and no. She thinks the attending is just erring on the side of caution even calling it a minor concussion. She’s pretty sure it’s just a bump on the head. Deanna says, nice try. Elizabeth is still going to stay here for monitoring. Jordan comes back, and Deanna says, she thought the questions were finished. Jordan says, they are. She just wanted to give Elizabeth an update. Deanna says, make it fast, and leaves. Jordan says, she’s very protective, and Elizabeth says, she’s an excellent nurse. Jordan says she doesn’t want Deanna throwing her out, so she’ll make it fast. She’s issued a be-on-the-lookout for Esme Prince. There have been no other sightings yet, but thanks to Elizabeth’s quick thinking, she won’t get too far. She’s glad Elizabeth is okay. She really had a guardian angel looking out for her tonight. Jordan leaves, and Elizabeth flashes back to Nikolas saying, trust me.
On the phone, Nikolas says, that’s great news, and tells Esme, Elizabeth is okay. She says, he has all this concern for Elizabeth, yet he keeps the mother of his child prisoner. He says, she won’t be locked up forever. Once she gives birth to his child, he’s done with her. He takes her sheets, and leaves. She says, we’ll see about that.
Cameron brings out Heather’s to-go bag, and she says, thank you, sweet boy. He says, she’s welcome, and Dante asks if she’s ready to go, holding out his arm. She tells Cameron, it’s a delicious sandwich, and such generous portions. She always likes when there’s some to take home. She feels awful not being able to pay, but he says, it’s on the house. She says, how lovely, and takes Dante’s arm. In a Southern accent, she says, I always have depended on the kindness of strangers. Back to her normal voice, she says she doesn’t want Cameron to be a stranger, and Dante leads her away.
Outside the gatehouse, Michael asks if Willow is tired, and she says, exhausted. Also relieved. They go inside, and Michael calls for Josslyn. Josslyn dashes in, and Michael asks, where was she? She says she was just checking on Annabelle, making sure she didn’t mess up any of the flowerbeds. Willow says, bless you. Annabelle is a sweet dog, but no garden is safe when she’s around. Michael asks why there’s a chair in the middle of the living room, and Josslyn says she had to study, and all of their furniture is so comfortable. She pulled that chair over. She sees a bloody cotton ball on the floor, and grabs it, as Michael puts away the chair, stashing it in her backpack. He asks how Wiley was, and she says, he’s great. She read him four bedtime stories, and he passed out. He thanks her for filling in, and she says, of course (🍷), but if he wants to thank her, he should take Willow to bed. She’s exhausted. Willow says she heard that, and Michael and Josslyn say, goodnight. Josslyn leaves, and Michael sits next to Willow. He asks if she needs anything, but she says, just him.
Outside, Josslyn sees fresh blood on a leaf, and says, he’s still bleeding… Dex.
Tomorrow, Britt says, there’s a bomb in her brain; Josslyn hopes it’s worth it; Sonny says, Dex could be anywhere; and Cyrus says, if Anna is on the run, it’s best she stays that way.
❄️ On Winter House, the worst reality show ever made, at least recently, Paige wept to Amanda about Craig’s a-holeness. Amanda said, boys are just annoying in general, totally missing the point that these boys should have turned to men a good decade ago. In their joint interview, the Toms said they’d been so busy opening the bar, they needed this, as Sandoval twirled his Barnum & Bailey ringmaster moustache. Sandoval said he’d packed some amazing LEDs, and Schwartz said, it would be open to interpretation. Sandoval blew a bugle to begin the festivities, and started everyone off with a buzz button shot. I’d never heard of this, but according to specialtyproduce.com, Buzz Button™ flowers contain a grassy, citrus-like flavor with mild astringency. When consumed, the flowers release an active compound that gives the mouth a numbing, tingling sensation and stimulates the saliva glands inducing a natural cooling effect. Apparently, you eat the flower first, then have the shot. I will be giving this a hard pass should I come across it. The Toms had done up the basement, giving it a disco in your grandma’s basement vibe. As is often the case, the whole thing ended up being creepy unappealing, kind of like the ghost of a high school dance without chaperones. Paige told Craig that she didn’t like feeling like she was involved in a confrontation that she wasn’t personally involved in, and tried to explain that being a couple meant you were an extension of the other person. In Craig’s interview, he said, Paige had patiently sat through days of him fighting with her friends, and never said anything. He was relieved, but nervous, since he didn’t know how many chances he’d be getting. He would have run out after the first time if I was dating him. Seriously, what the hell? Paige can’t find someone who isn’t volatile and unpredictable? Amanda asked Schwarz about Katie, and he said, it was complex. He hadn’t been present in his marriage, and couldn’t imagine his life without her. In his interview, he said he wanted to respect Katie’s privacy, and wasn’t ready to talk about their divorce. Rachel kissed Jason, Kory got busy with Jess, and Amanda dressed like a polar bear. I heard things I didn’t want to hear, and saw things I can’t unsee. To his credit, Kory finally covered the camera, but it was too late. My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Toms had to take off early in the morning, and Kyle and Amanda were taking a day trip to see Kyle’s grandmother, who was turning 99. I have to say, she looked damn good for nearly 100. In Paige’s interview, she said she was fine once Craig admitted he was an a-hole. As long as he knew he was doing wrong, and took an ounce of ownership, she was a peach. I felt like I was being punked within a punk, because I just don’t get it. Jess told Rachel details about Kory that I can’t unhear, and said she thought Paige had wanted to hook him up with Ciara, and was holding it against her. It seemed like Paige liked her when she first got here, but not now. Rachel said her night was PG, and Jason told Luke that if Rachel had a hook-up in mind, he was there for it, but he was glad she wasn’t in a rush. Austen told Luke that he’d come to have fun with his friends, get drunk, and escape, and his plan was a success. Luke asked how it was hanging out with someone he had a history with, and Austen said, the last person he’d slept with was Ciara. In Austen’s interview, he said, Ciara was pretty, but he had real feelings for Olivia. She was everything. He was happy that he was getting along with everyone, but would like the girl he was dating there so he could enjoy it to the max. He called Olivia in Vegas, and said she should join him, but she was happy being in a warmer climate.
In Amanda’s interview, she said she’d been off birth control since after the wedding, and hadn’t had a period. We flashed back to her saying that she wasn’t sure if she could have kids, and she said she was happy just being married. They weren’t ready to have kids, and she had her dogs. This is probably the only thing she and I will ever correlate on. Craig, Paige, Kory, and Jess went bowling, and in Jess’s interview, she said she was glad Kory was competitive like herself. She couldn’t date a loser. Rachel told Paige that Jess was feeling left out, and Amanda said, every time she looked for Jess, she was hanging out with the guys. In Paige’s interview, she said she was dumbfounded. She even said Jess could shower in her bathroom; that was inclusive. Austen told Amanda that he was thinking about asking Olivia to join them, and Amanda thought it was a great idea. In Amanda’s interview, she said, based on what Ciara had said, she thought Ciara and Austen could be friends and move on. Luke put some nails in the top of a stump of wood, and everyone took turns whacking them with a hammer. I’m not sure if it was a game or a competition, but it was pretty boring. Except for Craig missing the nail totally, and dropping the hammer. Amanda told Ciara that Austen was possibly inviting Olivia to the house, saying, she couldn’t hold on to that knowledge. In other words, because she’s 12, she couldn’t wait a minute, and let Austen discuss it with Ciara. Amanda said, Austen missed Olivia, and Ciara seemed bummed. Amanda wondered if she’d misread the situation, and Ciara said, Austen would hate it if she was here with someone else. In Ciara’s interview, she said, Austen was jeopardizing their friendship, and his relationship. He hadn’t been on his best behavior, and can’t help flirting with her. Go ahead and f*** it up early; do her a favor. Ciara tells Paige that if Olivia comes, she’s going to leave, and Paige says, if Austen was her boyfriend, she woudn’t be happy about how he’s been acting toward Ciara.
Paige said she’d thought Ciara was more over it, and Amanda said she felt like a bad friend. She asked if Ciara was upset, and Ciara said she was ready to go home. Amanda wondered if it would feel different if Austen had said he was serious about Olivia, and Paige said, it might feel different if Austen hadn’t been eyeing Ciara up and down. We flashed back to that, and Amanda said, if Ciara wasn’t going to enjoy her vacation, it wasn’t fair for Austen to bring someone in. Kyle wondered what was on the agenda for tomorrow, and suggested they do oysters and Viagra. Rachel said she was having her garden party, and in her interview, she said she has a relationship with flowers. They helped her get through the hardest things. She was okay with being alone; she has a cat. In a side moment, Jason dropped a potato chip, and threw it out, saying, normally, he’d eat a chip off the floor, but not here. I include this because it seems like a good metaphor for the show as a whole. That chip you dropped in the one place you’d never apply the five-second rule to. Like maybe a pig sty. There were more sounds I didn’t want to hear, and it again reminded me so much of The Real World, except with older people who shouldn’t be acting like they’re 18-23. Or 15. Luke couldn’t seem to pronounce bagel properly, and kept saying baggle, pissing Paige off. Jason said he’d had a request for chicken parm, and would be cooking tonight. The guys went to a bar, while the girls went to a flower shop with Rachel, who schooled them in the art of flowers. Back at the house, Ciara bitched to Paige about Austen in the bedroom, and Amanda blocked Craig from coming in. She told them that Jess had let Craig know where Paige was, and she told Jess that if Craig couldn’t find Paige, it was for a reason. Jess joined them, and Paige said, she’ll learn.
Everyone dressed garden-ish costumes, looking much like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Jess told Rachel that she couldn’t connect with the other girls, and it was like the mean girls club. In Rachel’s interview, she thought Jess was intimidated. She had to knock on the door. These girls weren’t the type to coddle her. Jess asked if Rachel could pass them a note see how they felt without being weird.
Rachel had floor to ceiling flowers going on, and told the group that she appreciated them welcoming her to their world. Now she was welcoming them to hers. Craig said he loved the party’s trippy nature, and everyone took an absinthe shot. Bleh. Jason served dinner, and they all agreed it had been a great day; the guys drank and the girls were productive. There were lots of thanks and compliments, and they took pictures. Alone in the kitchen, Ciara and Austen split off to talk. Austen told Ciara that he’d mentioned to a few people about Olivia possibly coming, but he’d always planned to talk to her before doing it. She said she’d heard it from other people, and her first reaction was, he doesn’t give a f*** about her at all. He already put her in a situation over the summer. We flash back to him flirting with her, then Lindsay, and Ciara said he’d made her look like an idiot, and he acted insane. He’d be sh*tting himself if she was hooking up with someone there. He said, it wasn’t up to him anymore, but she said she wouldn’t bring someone else around; they woudn’t be comfortable. Would Olivia? Austen said, Olivia would probably want to crawl in a hole and die before joining them, and in Austen’s interview, he said he was oblivious sometimes. He thought, since things were going well, it wouldn’t be an issue. Now that he’s seeing it is, he doesn’t know what he was thinking.
Paige asked for a girl pow-wow, and Rachel said, Jess felt like they were being mean girls and ignoring her. Ciara said she thought Jess was isolating herself, and Paige said she didn’t need a Lindsay 2.0. In Paige’s interview, she said, when people first meet her, she’s quiet, and they can think she’s a bitch. They think she’s Regina George when she’s not. The girls gathered in a bedroom, and Paige said she felt like she went out of her way to be nice to Jess. Jess said, it wasn’t like she was going around, running her mouth, but she felt like when she walked into a room, there was a different vibe. It was a feeling she had, whether it was because of her own insecurity or not. She felt like she was walking into high school, and didn’t fit in. In Jess’s interview, she said, her childhood best friend switched to private school, while she was still being homeschooled, and the friend turned on her. It was painful. Paige said she’d just met Rachel, and Rachel didn’t feel left out. She asked if Jess had ever checked on her, and answered her own question; no. But she’d checked in on Jess. She said she was done with this mean girl sh*t, and being called out for it. You want to see a mean girl, I’ll show you a mean girl. And with that, she stomped downstairs.
Next time, ice skating; Jess is in love; Lindsay and Karl arrive; Ciara says, Austen dropped a bomb, and it’s about to get huge awkward.
🍹 Hospitable Reality…
This looks pretty good. It always seems to work better when there’s also a business involved, since the focus isn’t solely on the cast.
🍽 Reserving a Table…
Make a return trip tomorrow for soap, tea, insightful words, and miscellaneous track. Until then, stay safe, stay being able to admit when you’re wrong, and stay appreciating those who welcome you into their world, and welcome them into yours.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 