What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly comes to Josslyn’s dorm room, and apologizes for not calling first. Josslyn says she was on her way to see Michael; she promised she’d babysit when Willow’s having her transplant. Carly says she’s glad she caught Josslyn before she left. Willow’s not having the transplant.

Sasha knocks at the gatehouse, and Brook lets her in. She asks how Willow is doing, and Willow says, hanging in there. Sasha asks if it’s a good time, and Willow says, it’s a perfect time. Michael says, they want to just chill out at home while they can. Once the police find Liesl Obrecht – which they hope will be soon – they’ll be back and forth to the hospital again. First chemo, then the transplant, then happily ever after.

At the station, Jordan asks, any word from the coastguard? and Dante says, they got a reading on the ship’s transponder, but by the time they got to it, all they found was a transponder sitting on a buoy. She says, the Haunted Star didn’t just disappear. Somebody must have seen something. He says, Victor wanted to make sure the boat can’t be found, when Gladys walks in. She says she’s here to give her statement. She had a very expensive piece of jewelry taken from her person last night. Maybe Dante can help her? He asks if she can come back later, and she says she’d be happy to, except Gillborn jewelers lent the bracelet to Sasha, and they’re not letting it go until Cody Bell pays for his crime. Jordan suggests they not get ahead of themselves, and Dante says, innocent until proven guilty, remember? Dante excuses himself, and Gladys asks if she gives Jordan her statement. Dante goes into the interrogation room and asks Cody if he ever plans on growing up.

Valentin says, nothing? No word on Anna? Felicia says, the surgeon said it could take some time, and he says, they’ve been here all night and not even an update. He walks away, and Felicia tells Laura that he’s feeling helpless. They all do. Laura says, right now she’s not just worried about Anna. Victor has two of her grandsons. She’d give anything to know where they are. All they can do is wait and pray.

Valentin sees Portia, and says, they’ve been waiting all night for word on Anna Devane. She says, someone from Anna’s team will be down shortly, but he says, that’s not good enough. There’s got to be a reason for this extended silence. Something’s gone wrong, hasn’t it?

Trina slips into Spencer’s room, and he says, thank God she’s safe, hugging her. He asks why she risked coming back here, and she says, some risks are worth taking. She thinks she found a way off this ship.

Valentin says he needs to know about Anna, but Portia says, as she stated, Anna’s not her patient. He says, Anna’s not her responsibility, so she’s not Portia’s problem? but Portia tells him, she didn’t say that. He says, she’s not saying much about anything. If she could just not give him a bunch of hospital policy, not give him a bunch of excuses, and just give him some answers. Curtis comes along, and tells Valentin, that’s enough, or Valentin will have to answer to him. Portia smiles a little.

Josslyn says, when Dr. Obrecht didn’t reappear in the magic act, that was real? and Carly says, it looks like someone kidnapped her. Sonny sent Dex to check, and he found this charm that looked like it belonged to a bracelet. She knows it belonged to Britt, and he found it in the crawlspace beneath the stage. Josslyn says, actually, she needs to talk to Carly about Dex, and Carly says, Sonny told her that he knows about them. Josslyn says, Sonny caught them, and told them that he’s known about them for months, and that he was just disappointed in Dex for lying to him. Thank God Dex saved his life. Carly asks what she means; when? Josslyn says, they went to a warehouse, and someone was taking shots at Sonny, when Dex stepped in and saved Sonny. He got grazed on the arm. Carly says she knew Dex was injured, but didn’t know he was shot. Why didn’t Josslyn tell her? Josslyn says she didn’t even know until the day after. And Carly knew something was going on with Sonny; he wouldn’t even let the girls up to the penthouse. Carly says, Sonny’s security issues are one thing, but when her daughter’s seeing a guy who gets shot, she wants to know about it. Like Carly wouldn’t guess Dex might get shot, especially after the talk she had with Josslyn about what to expect. Josslyn says she’s sorry. She should have told Carly, but she’s okay, really. She’s going to be more than thrilled when this whole thing is over, but right now, Spencer, his little brother, and Dr. Obrecht are all missing. And if Dr. Obrecht is missing, that means Willow can’t get the transplant. Carly says, the police are looking for Obrecht, and she prays they find her, but they’re going to have to prepare themselves.

Michael says he’s going to call Dante and see if there’s an update. He leaves, and Brook says, he’s really holding it together. Willow says, he’s been her rock, and Brook says, but…? Willow says, nothing, sorry. She fades in and out sometimes. Sasha says, they know she and Michael are being strong for each other, and Brook says, but everyone needs to vent sometimes, even Willow. So whatever she’s feeling, just say it. Willow says she knows Michael believes everything is going to be okay, because that’s what he has to believe, but at some point, they have to face facts. And the fact is, the PCPD may not find Dr. Obrecht. At least not in time to save her.

Dante asks if Cody called a lawyer, but Cody says he can’t afford one. A public defender is just going to try and get him to plead out, which he’s not going to do because he’s innocent. Dante tells him, the evidence says otherwise, and Cody says, Dante knows him. Even if he did try to steal that bracelet, does Dante think he’d hide it in his jacket pocket? Dante says he doesn’t know, but he has three missing people, and doesn’t have time to help Cody. Cody says he hears Dante. He’s going to sort this mess out himself. Dante asks, how? From a jail cell? Why doesn’t he call Mac? Cody says, Mac’s the one who arrested him, and Dante says, maybe Cody should have told Mac that he’s his son. Cody says, then what? He has the pleasure of putting his son in the slammer? It doesn’t really matter. He already made his one phone call; help’s on the way. Sam walks in, and says, good morning.

Spencer asks how they’re going to escape at sea. They have no way of communicating with anybody. Trina says, maybe they do. She was in the utility closet, and there were all these maps of the ship, so she got to studying them. He says, of course (🍷) she did, and she says, it showed the communications room on the map. It’s located at the front of the ship. Spencer says, the bow, and she says, whatever. She snuck out, and did some snooping, and managed to find the room. There has to be a radio there, right? There was somebody coming, so she had to get out of there as soon as she could, but if there is a radio, she could call for help. He says, she’ll have to find a way to sneak back in the room without someone noticing her. If his uncle finds her, he doesn’t need her as a hostage; he’ll throw her overboard. She says, it’s their only option. So here’s the plan…

Trina tells Spencer that she stayed in the closet until about 2 or 3 in the morning. She figured Victor would only have a skeleton crew on lookout, and she was right. He only had two on the left, and three on the other side, and they have zero visibility of the communications room. They all go on a smoke break at the same time. He asks how she’s going to get back, and she says she’ll stay out of sight until tonight, then make a break for the office and radio for help. They hear Victor coming, and Spencer says, hide. She says, where?

Josslyn says, Willow finally has a donor and she’s gone? and Carly says, it’s crazy. She can’t believe Victor took all three of them; he took Spencer, the baby, and Obrecht. She knows the police are going to follow every lead and talk to every witness, but she prays they find Obrecht. Josslyn wonders how long that’s going to take, because Willow gets weaker every time she sees her. Just like with Oscar. You try to stay positive, and you pray for a miracle, but what if that miracle never comes? Carly hugs Josslyn, and says, she knows.

Jordan asks Gladys to have a seat in the waiting area, and Gladys says she’s sure whatever everybody’s buzzing about around here is important, but she’s here about a very expensive bracelet. Jordan says, someone will take her statement, but they’re very busy. Perhaps Gladys should come back later. Gladys says, aren’t cops supposed to take statements from victims while the details are fresh? Who knows what she might forget about Cody’s crime?

Dante asks what Sam is doing here, and she says, Cody called her. He said he had no one to turn to. She hugs Dante, and Cody says he didn’t sound that desperate. She says, those were his exact words, but he says he doesn’t think she accurately captured his tone. She says she’s here, so how can she help? and Dante says, maybe Sam could convince Cody to hire a cheap lawyer. Cody says he believes she was asking what he needed, and Dante says he believes Cody has the right to remain silent. Sam says she’s got this. Go out and find Victor and those hostages. Dante kisses her and leaves. Cody thanks Sam for coming, and she asks how she can help. He says he needs her to bail him out, but she says she can’t just post bail. He has to see a judge first. He says he knows; he’s been arraigned before. He promises he’s good for the bail money, and won’t go anywhere, and she tells him, says the guy with the hot bracelet? He says, that was a frame. He doesn’t care what she heard; he’s being set up. She tells him, said every thief ever. Hell, she’s even said it she doesn’t know how many times, and she was guilty every single one of them. He says, allow him to be the exception that proves the rule. Someone planted that bracelet on him.

Gladys tells an officer, and that’s when Sasha noticed the bracelet was missing. At the desk, Jordan says, it’s like Victor, the ship, and the hostages all vanished into thin air, and Dante says he thinks he knows someone who might be able to help them. (Spinelli?)

Valentin says, this is a private conversation, and doesn’t concern Curtis, but Curtis says, it does when it concerns his wife. Show her some respect. Portia says, let her see what she can find out, and Valentin thanks her. Portia leaves, and Curtis follows her.

Victor says he wants Ambrose to keep a close eye on Spenc… He sees the deadbolt is open, and goes inside the stateroom. It’s empty, and he tells Ambrose to search the ship. Spencer comes out of the bathroom, wearing a towel, and we can see he’s been working on his summer body. He asks Victor if something is wrong, and we see Trina hiding under the bed.

Willow says she knows there’s a chance they’ll find Dr. Obrecht, and the transplant will happen, she’ll recover, and get to see her kids grow up. She wants that more than anything, and she’s holding out hope. But at the same time… Sasha says, in her experience, blind hope can get in the way of saying goodbye, and Willow says, exactly. She doesn’t want Michael’s last memories to be of her waiting desperately for the phone to ring. She wants him to remember them as a loving family. Brook says, of course (🍷) he will, and Willow says, Amelia won’t remember her at all, and Wiley’s so young. She wants Michael to be able to show the kids her picture, and say, that’s your mom. Amelia chooses this time to pitch a mini fit, and Willow says, and she loved us all so much, and always will. Sasha says, they can make sure that happens, and Brook says something I can’t hear because Amelia is making a loud fuss. Willow says, that’s why they can’t wait to throw some big wedding. They’re out of time.

Laura asks, when was the last time Curtis saw Trina? and he says, last night. He takes out his phone, and says, maybe she knows something that can help them track down Spencer. Portia joins them, and says she has news. Anna is just out of surgery, and they’re getting her set up in the ICU room as they speak. Valentin asks if he can see her, and Portia says, after a surgery like this, it may take a while before she wakes up, but yes, he can. Felicia tells Valentin to go in first, and he says he’ll let them know how she is. He apologizes to Portia, and says he shouldn’t have spoken to her that way. She says, apology accepted. Go see Anna. He leaves, and Portia says, let her know if there’s anything else she can do. Curtis asks if she can wait for a second, and goes over to her. She asks, what’s up? and he says he’s sure it’s probably nothing, but has she heard from Trina lately?

Carly says, Josslyn is going over to Michael and Willow’s. She thinks the more family the better. It’s good for them, so why doesn’t she go too? Josslyn says she’d like that, when there’s a knock at the door. Josslyn opens it to find Dante, who asks if they’ve seen Trina. Josslyn says, she’s not here, but come in. Carly asks, what’s going on? and Dante says, actually, he’s looking for Spencer. Josslyn says she thought Victor Cassadine had Spencer and his little brother, but Dante says, they don’t know that Victor has Spencer, but Trina and Spencer were together at the Ball, and probably hung out after the Ball. Maybe Trina could give them a timeline of his whereabouts. Josslyn says she hasn’t seen Trina since the Ball, and Dante says, but she’s staying at the dorms, right? Josslyn says, she was supposed to come back here; they were going to a party together. But she was worried about Spencer, so she went to check on him and see if she could help him out. Dante says, she hasn’t seen Trina since? and Josslyn says, no. Her mom came by here looking for her yesterday, but like she said, Trina wasn’t here. He says, so no one’s seen Trina since the Ball, and Josslyn says, not that she knows of.

Victor says, so Spencer’s been enjoying the sea air? but Spencer says he wouldn’t know. He’s been locked up in this stateroom. Victor says, an unfortunate, but necessary precaution until Spencer realizes everything he’s done is for Spencer’s own good. Spencer laughs, and says, that’s why Victor kidnapped him and his brother, for their own good? Victor says he didn’t kidnap Spencer; he invited Spencer here, and he accepted. Spencer says, Victor asked him to join him on the ship, and when he did, Victor stole the boat out of the harbor without asking him if he wanted to come. Victor says, he is the head of this family. He doesn’t need to ask anyone anything. And besides, even if he’d given Spencer a choice, the outcome would have been the same. Spencer wants to be where his brother is, and Victor needs Spencer’s brother with him, so here they all are. Spencer says, the point of bringing him along was so he could spend time with his brother, so why doesn’t Victor let Spencer see him? Victor says, all in good time, and Spencer says, he doesn’t work for Victor, and sure as hell doesn’t take orders from him. Victor says he suggests Spencer change that attitude. His son knows what he’s capable of when crossed. He hopes Spencer doesn’t have to learn the same lesson, the hard way. We see that, yep, Trina’s still under the bed.

Valentin looks through Anna’s room window, and sees her unconscious, all hooked up to machines.

Sam says, Gladys set him up? and Cody says, yes. Sam says, she’s a piece of work, and he says, so she believes him? She says she wouldn’t put it past Gladys, but why? and he says he told Gladys that he was going to tell Sasha that she – Gladys – wasn’t to be trusted. Sam asks, what did Gladys do that he needs to warn Sasha? but he says he can’t tell her. She says, why not? and he says, because he likes his kneecaps exactly where they are. They help him walk, kneel, and stay on a horse. She says, he’s being threatened, and he says, no. He’s not the one being threatened. Let’s just say, Sasha needs to be really careful about whose hands she puts her life in.

Sasha says, of course (🍷) Willow doesn’t want to wait to marry Michael. This is her family. She wants them to know forever and ever how much she loves them. Brook says, the best part is, Willow doesn’t have to do a thing. They’ll make sure this wedding happens. Willow thanks them, but says she hasn’t even discussed rescheduling the wedding with Michael. He would have married her at the hospital months ago, but she was the one who insisted on coming home, and getting married at the main house. Then they found out Dr. Obrecht was a match. She told him that she wanted to wait until after the transplant to dance at her wedding and celebrate. Of course (🍷) he agreed, and now she’s changed her mind again, and wants to get married immediately. Isn’t that the same as telling him that she’s given up hope?

Deanna comes out of Anna’s room, and sees Valentin. He asks if he can speak with Anna’s surgeon, but Deanna says, the procedure was very long. She won’t be available for several hours. He asks if there’s anyone else he can talk to, and she says, the doctor instructed her to inform him that she was able to remove the bullet. It missed the major organs and arteries. However, Miss Devane lost a considerable amount of blood. About an hour into surgery, she went into cardiac arrest. He says, again? She coded in the ambulance. Deanna says, fortunately, the team was able to get her heart back in sinus rhythm, and complete the surgery, and he asks, how long before she wakes up? Deanna says, there’s no way to predict. She was under a long time. Valentin says, so she should be awake by now… but she isn’t. He looks in the window again.

Felicia asks how Laura is feeling, and Laura says, uneasy, unsettled. It’s like everything that’s happening right now is strangely familiar. When she was a kid – we flash back to that – the Cassadines had her trapped on that boat, only back then, it was called The Titan. Is history repeating itself with her grandsons?

Portia tells Curtis that she had an extremely strained moment with Trina at the Nurses Ball, and he says, and after that? She says she stopped by Trina’s dorm room to check on her, but she wasn’t there and never showed up. He says, she didn’t call or leave a text? and Portia says, no, but Trina didn’t know she was going to be there. And it’s not like she’s calling or texting that much nowadays anyway. Why all the questions? What’s going on? He says, it’s probably nothing… and she says, he keeps saying that, but it’s clearly something. He can’t ask her questions about Trina and not expect her to ask why. He says he doesn’t want to worry her, but she says, it’s too late for that.

Josslyn says she texted Trina last night, but her mom was here, so maybe that’s why she never came back. She checks her phone, and Dante says he doesn’t want to worry them. There’s no reason to believe Trina’s in any danger. Carly says, him looking for Trina isn’t really giving off that vibe, and Josslyn hands Dante her phone, saying, look at these pics. He tells her, it says they weren’t delivered, and asks if he can call her. Josslyn says, he can. She didn’t notice last night that they weren’t delivered. It’s not that she didn’t respond; she never got them. Dante says, it’s going straight to voicemail. He has to get out of here. Carly says, he has to tell them what’s going on, but he says he’s literally told them everything he knows. Josslyn says, Victor Cassadine has Spencer, Ace, and Dr. Obrecht. Does he have Trina too?

Spencer says he knows exactly what Victor is capable of, and he’s seen the damage Victor has done. Trina sees her bag sticking out from under the bed, and reaches for it, but then pulls back when Victor gets too close. Spencer says, Victor kidnapped him… Relocated him without his consent because the only way he can have a relationship with another human being is if he’s in total complete control. For God’s sake, he abducted an infant. Victor suggests he send for breakfast. He’s sure Spencer will think more clearly on a full stomach. They can discuss the future, and he’ll answer any and all questions. Spencer says, not here, and Victor says, another complaint about his accommodations? This is a stateroom. Spencer says he’s been cooped up in it all night. They’re surrounded by open water, and he thinks Victor knows he’s not going anywhere without his baby brother. So Victor can trust him as far as the dining room. Victor says, perhaps for lunch, and Spencer says, Victor claims he’s destined for greater things, yet keeps him locked up in here. He can only think of one reason that might be. He thinks Victor is afraid of him. Is he right? Is Victor afraid of what he might do?

Valentin goes into Anna’s room, and walks to the bed. He tells Anna that she’s a fighter. She can do this. He needs her to do this. Deanna says she’ll give them some privacy, and leaves. Valentin sits next to the bed, and takes Anna’s hand. He says, wherever you are, come back to me.

Brook says, Michael’s been through a lot, but he’s survived all of it, and right now, he’s surviving this, out of love for Willow, Wiley, and Amelia. He loves them more than anything. Willow thanks her, and says, that’s why… Brook cuts her off, and says, Michael, as they all know, is a multitasker. So he can believe with all his heart that Obrecht will get back in time for Willow’s transplant and lead a long life. But at the same time, he can understand Willow needs to… Sasha says, Willow needs to tell Michael, Wiley, and Amelia how much she loves them. How much she’ll always love them. Willow says, even if she’s gone?

Sam says, assuming Cody’s story is true, she needs to know all the players. Who’s threatening Gladys Corbin? He says, she doesn’t want to know. Dante really doesn’t want to know. The cops cannot be involved. Sam says, here’s where she doesn’t understand what’s going on here. Cody is being threatened by some low life, and he’d rather skip town than ask his friends for help. He doesn’t have to do this alone. Just give her a name. He says, this isn’t about him, but she says, he’s the one in custody. He says, it’s about Sasha. Gladys is in trouble, and it can blow back on Sasha. She says, not that he shouldn’t, but why does he care what happens to Sasha? He says, they’re kind of friends. Please let him handle this his way. He knows these people and how they operate. All he needs to do is get out of this police station and he can help his friend. He promises he won’t go on the run. An officer comes in, and says, it’s time for Cody’s arraignment. He cuffs Cody, and Cody asks Sam to please back him up with the judge. Sam says, he’s literally given her no reason to trust him, but he says, there’s exactly one reason – Dante trusts him. He does, doesn’t he?

Dante says if he has any more questions, or Carly and Josslyn have any more information to share with him, they can call him, but he really has to get going. Josslyn stops him and asks where Trina could be. She didn’t just disappear. Dante says he doesn’t know what to tell them other than, when he knows something, they’ll know something. In the meantime, he wants Josslyn to keep her phone on, and if she hears anything, let him know. He leaves, and Josslyn says, what if she was with Spencer when Victor grabbed him?

In the hallway, on the phone, Dante says, no sign of Trina, and Jordan asks if he has anything else. Any physical evidence to connect her to Spencer’s or Victor’s disappearance? He says, nothing yet. He’s going to talk to Portia. He’s heading to the hospital now. She says she’ll meet him there.

Curtis tells Portia, as it turns out, Spencer went missing last night, along with his little brother. Since Trina was with him at the Ball, she may have been the last person to see him. Portia says she’s got to call Trina. She calls, and says, it’s going straight to voicemail; maybe she’s got her phone off. She leaves a message that she’s checking to see if Trina is okay. Give her a call. She says she’s going to text Trina too, and Curtis says he’ll call the university, and have them do a safety check. She says, the texts aren’t going through; they’re going undelivered. What does she do now? She can’t reach her daughter?

Laura says she has the feeling the answer to all of this lies in the past; a part of her history she hasn’t been able to connect with yet. Felicia says, let’s break it down. Victor finally has everything he’s after. He’s got the Ice Princess necklace and the decryption key. He’s got Spencer and Ace. Where would he go? Laura says, someplace isolated where he can protect himself if someone were to come after him. Felicia says, so if someone did come after him… Laura says she guesses it would have to be someplace where he has some kind of hold with the authorities, and Felicia says, exactly. So, thoughts? Laura says, a lot of the old Cassadine haunts come to mind. They’re all similar. They’re fortresses and compounds, and islands. They’re places where Victor could go and just do whatever he wanted. Felicia says, think. Where would the Haunted Star sail? Laura says she knows the Cassadines had some hideouts in Panama, Ecuador… There was one on the coast of Venezuela, and that one was completely isolated. It was cut off from everything by miles and miles of tropical rainforests. In fact, you couldn’t even get to it except by boat. Felicia says, they might have a lead.

Victor asks what Spencer might do, and Spencer says, anything if it meant being free. Wouldn’t Victor feel the same in his position? Victor says, Spencer makes a good point, but freedom is not a right; freedom must be earned. Spencer says, all he’s asking for is breakfast in the dining room and to see his baby brother, and Victor says he doesn’t suppose there’s any harm in Spencer getting a little air and nourishment, since they’re in the middle of the ocean. Spencer says, believe him, the sweet release of drowning isn’t the freedom he longs for, and Victor says, very well; breakfast in the dining room. It will take a while to make arrangements. Can he bear his confinement a moment longer? Spencer says he’ll survive. He always does. Victor says he’ll send for Spencer shortly. Outside, Victor locks the deadbolt, and tells Ambrose, if he finds this deadbolt unlatched again, Ambrose is going to find himself in some very deep, cold water, attached to a very heavy weight. Trina grabs her bag, and crawls out from under the bed. Spencer helps her up, and asks if she’s all right. She says, yeah. He was right. They’re so trapped here. He says, no, they’re not. His Uncle Victor thinks he has him all figured out, but he just made a terrible mistake.

Curtis tells Portia that Trina is one of the most practical, level-headed people they know, but she says, not when it comes to Spencer Cassadine though. That’s the problem. He says, maybe her phone is dead, and Portia says, that would explain the voicemail, but not the texts not going through. He says, maybe it’s just out of range, when Jordan and Dante walk up. Portia says, no, no, no. Not Trina.

Sam goes into the squad room, and seeing Cody in handcuffs, Gladys says she always knew Cody couldn’t be trusted. He’s spent time behind bars before. Sam says, maybe he has, but not today. He’ll make bail. Gladys says, she’s buying his act? Is she nuts? Sam keeps walking, and Gladys watches as the officer leads Cody out.

Brook says, a celebration is really all Willow’s asking for. So her advice is to just rip off the Band-Aid because Willow can really tell Michael anything. Sasha says, Brook is right. Michael will understand. Michael returns, and says, understand what?

Laura says, what they have is a theory, with no real evidence to back it up and show to the authorities, and Felicia says, they have to find something. Laura says, but how? They’re not going to be able to infiltrate that compound. Venezuela has a very different boundary now; it’s tough to get in to. More important, it’s tough to get out of. Felicia says, not to worry. She knows exactly who can help them.

Josslyn says, Trina is important to Spencer, and Carly says, and Victor would use Trina as leverage against Spencer. Josslyn says, in a heartbeat, but why would he have to do that? Spencer will do anything Victor tells him to do. Carly says, maybe he doesn’t have her then, and Josslyn says, then where is she? Carly says she doesn’t know, but she does know Dante has the entire Port Charles police department searching for her. At the very least, wherever she is, maybe she’s not alone.

Spencer asks if Trina is ready, and she suggests they go over it one more time anyway. He says he’s going to cause a diversion with his uncle, and that’s going to draw attention away from the deck. She says, then she’ll go in the communication office and radio for help. This better work. He says he thinks this diversion is going to be epic. She doesn’t have to worry. He’s had lots of practice at causing a scene. They laugh, and he takes her hands, telling her, in case he doesn’t get another chance to say this, he wants her to know that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened… She kisses him, and says, it’s not the end for them. They’ve got this.

Valentin says he’s been negotiating… maybe with God. Maybe the universe; maybe with himself. He’s been making a lot of promises in his head. One promise he can make her; his father will pay for this. He promises her, no matter what it takes, he’s going to put his father down. But right now, I need you to wake up, darling. He puts his head down on the bed and cries, saying, he just wants her to wake up. Slowly, Anna opens her eyes.

Tomorrow, Valentin says, Anna’s come back; Victor tells Obrecht, sometimes sacrifices have to be made; Sonny tells Laura that Victor is going to pay more than he’s ever paid before; and Willow tells Michael that she wants to get married today.

Vanderpump Rules

Get your baskets ready for egg collection. It was an extra long episode too.

Schwartz tells Raquel that the kiss was anticlimactic, and she says she thought it was pretty nice, and they should go somewhere private. They step away, while Katie and her dinner companions head for a bar, not knowing what just happened. Raquel and Schwartz kiss some more, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen less chemistry between two people. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Schwartz’s lips are soft, and they were sweet, delicate kisses. She feels giddy, happy, and excited. Maybe this could be something. Schwartz says, the moment’s passed. It feels illegal. Raquel calls him the kissing bandit, and says, Katie already hates her, so they might as well. He says he’s not telling Katie, but Raquel says, everyone knows. Lala, Kristina, Katie, Ally, and James gather in Lala’s room, and Scheana calls Lala. Lala puts it on speaker, and asks, what’s up? Scheana asks, what happened? Lala never showed up for the party, and Lala says, she had dinner and came back to her room. Scheana says, they’ll talk about it tomorrow, and says she saw where Lala was having dinner. Did she see Schwartz and Raquel make out? She heard about it, but didn’t personally see it. Lala asks where she’s hearing it from, and Scheana says, Brock’s friend Clint. She heard people cheering, but she thought there was more entertainment. Lala suggests she find out what really happened, and when she hangs up, James says, Schwartz and Raquel are finally going to bump peepees tonight. Well done. Because he doesn’t know the correct names for body parts. In Katie’s interview, she says she feels like she was punched in the gut, and kicked in the face. The people  who were cheering them on aren’t people who care about her. Scheana calls Lala back, and asks Brock if Schwartz and Raquel made out. He says, they did, and she asks if he saw it, because she didn’t. He says, they all saw it, and Lala asks why they were cheering. He says, they wanted to see Schwartz happy, and Lala says, Katie did nothing to them to deserve this, and Raquel is a disgusting swamp creature. Scheana says she’s not going there, and she’s bummed that Lala missed some special moments today. Katie says she’s going bed, and in her interview, she says she feels so much hate inside of her. She hates them both, but hates Schwarz more. F*** Raquel, but Schwartz owes her more. James says he’s known Schwartz had the hots for Raquel; who doesn’t? Lala says, James’s ex-fiancé is a f***ing whore; a cheap broke-down hoe. James says, Schwartz wants to f*** the sh*t out of Raquel, and Lala says, he’s disgusting. He and Ally leave.

There’s a party in Scheana and Brock’s room, and Sandoval chants, Raquel, Raquel, Raquel. Ariana asks why he’s being an a-hole, and oh my God, you can see it right there, the way Raquel and Sandoval – let me just say it, the overused buzzword – vibe. Raquel says she and Schwartz just had a moment, and the others cheered. In Ariana’s interview, she says, just when she thought it was safe. Katie was on her side of the resort, James and Raquel seemed cool, now this happened. They’re back where they started, 10 feet underground. Sandoval tries to give Schwartz’s room key to Raquel, but Ariana grabs it and throws it back. Some of the guests jump in the pool, many of them stripping off their clothes, but Raquel goes in wearing her party dress. Lala gets in bed with Katie and Kristina, and Katie says she has hate for Schwartz and Raquel unlike anything she could imagine. If he needed a date or a hook-up, there are a million other girls. They just got divorced after 12 years together, and are unpacking a lot. She hopes it was worth it.

Scheana, Raquel, Ariana, and Scheana’s sister Cortney go to a spa. Scheana says she’s disappointed that Lala didn’t come to the biggest event. She didn’t even say hi. It’s not a good look. At this point, she’s wondering if Lala is going to show up for the wedding. Raquel wonders, what if she walked down the aisle with Schwartz instead of Joey? and Scheana thinks that’s a great idea. Raquel calls Schwartz, and asks for his thoughts, and he says he’d love to. In Ariana’s interview, she says she thinks Raquel is starting to think she has feelings for Schwartz. Raquel thinks she’s living in a romcom, but she’s the only one in it.  They laugh, and Scheana hopes Katie has a good view. These people suck. James calls Ally Bubba, and I think, WTF? Is this an L.A. Thing? Is this Southern Charm? Schwartz comes over to sit with James and Ally, and James says, Schwartz made out with Raquel, but Schwartz says, they don’t have a thing. James says, it’s offensive, but go on, and Schwartz says, Katie forbid him to make out with her, and it was like middle school. He felt like he was sticking it to the man. Now Katie is livid. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, it’s like The Princess and the Toad. He’d never felt less desirable, and Raquel is a total princess. He thought the kiss would snap him out of it. A producer asks if it did, and Schwartz says he thinks so. They ask if making out with Raquel made him happy, and he says, temporarily. James says he’s not picking sides, but wonders if digging at Katie with his ex-fiancé is warranted. Schwartz asks Ally to back him up. James says, Schwartz doesn’t need to be asking his current girlfriend to back up him kissing James’s ex-fiancé.  

We get a Villa Rosa break. Swans! Ponies! Smootchie! Greg visits Lisa, and in her interview, she says she was worried about reaching out to Greg, that he might think she was overstepping the boundaries, but he was pretty amenable to meeting. He has to know what he’s doing, but does he know what he’s doing with the Toms. She asks if Greg thinks they’ll be ready to open on the 31^st, but he says, no. They’re still working on the menu, and there’s still no drink menu. They have a list of drinks, but there’s no bar menu, no bar bible, no procedures, and no training. His role was to teach and mentor them, and explain how it works, but they haven’t listened to a single thing. Lisa says she gets that they bring something unique, and if they open, it will be a fun experience. In Lisa’s interview, she says, they wanted to partner with the Toms because they bring excitement and energy, but she doesn’t think Greg has it. She tells Greg that she’ll kick the Toms asses to get things done, but Greg has to promise if she does, they’ll open on the 31^st. He says he can’t make that promise, and she says, open, right or wrong, but he says he doesn’t know.

Schwartz brings Tom a morning pina colada, and tries to get him up, telling him, the wedding started five minutes ago. He had a weird dream that he was wasted and made out with Raquel in the pool. Lala goes to Scheana’s room, and Scheana asks if Lala is coming to dinner, but Lala says, no. She’s going off the property for dinner. She can’t after what happened last night. Her life is intense, and she wants to be surrounded by women who rally around, support, and build-up each other. Raquel reminds her of the girls who would be with Randall; the dirtiness of it. Scheana says she’s wrong, but Lala says, no one can convince her otherwise. In Lala’s interview, she says, there’s a certain caliber of chicks who don’t think about anybody but their insecure selves. She tells Scheana that it takes her back to a place where she was disrespected, and in her interview, she says, they made Katie feel the way those bitches made her feel. She tells Scheana that she was triggered, and Scheana says, it’s not Katie’s vacation; it’s her wedding.  Lala says, everyone has things going on besides Scheana’s wedding. It might be the most important thing to her, but it’s not to everyone. In Scheana’s interview, she says she thinks she’s been a chill bride, and it’s not too much to ask Lala to spend three days making it about her. Lala says, they’ll all be at the wedding supporting Scheana, but can she imagine if she was separated, and someone in the friends group was hooking up with her ex? Scheana says, they’ll have to agree to disagree because her head might explode if she thinks of anything real. Lisa calls the Toms, and tells them that she and Greg had a sit down. Greg said there was no way they could open, and they didn’t even have a drink menu. Sandoval insists they gave him one, and in his interview, he says, they were looking forward to making their own decisions, and not being under Lisa. Greg talking to Lisa about the business and questioning them is defeating the purpose. She tells them to have fun, and give Scheana her love. She asks if everything’s been okay, and they say, uhhh… She asks what that means, and Sandoval calls her dude, mistaking her for a peer.  

Everyone gets ready for the rehearsal dinner, and somehow Raquel ends up seated between the Toms. Lala meets Katie and Kristina for drinks before dinner, and says, it’s been a weird day. She thinks it will be good to get off the property. At the dinner, James says, Raquel has made out with Peter and Schwartz, and asks if there’s anyone else in the friend group she’s made out with. She says she’s just living a little, and he suggests she get her own people. She says, those are the people around her, and he says he thinks she’s lost, but that has nothing to do with him. Since there’s obviously chemistry, she and Schwartz should stop lying to themselves and have the balls to have a relationship. In Raquel’s interview, she says she thought there was chemistry, but now Schwartz is minimizing it, and giving her high-fives. It’s a little heartbreaking. Yeah, she’s heartbroken the beard thing isn’t working out so well. James says, they were together for five years, but he doesn’t think he was ever in love, since now he is. Ally says she wants to say goodbye to Lala and Kristina, since they’re about to leave for dinner, and in her interview, she says, James needs to work on reading the room. She’s ready for the drama with Raquel to be over. She sits with Lala, Katie, and Kristina, and at the dinner, Scheana wants to have a quick run through, and an early night so they look good in the morning. James brings Ally her food, and they get ready to leave for dinner. Lala sees Schwartz, and goes over to him, telling him that making out with Raquel is not just some silly thing. He can’t get away from her scrutiny fast enough, and Lala tells Katie that he looks like a sweaty pig, while she looks smash.

James and Ally decide to go to dinner with the girls, and they go to this super cool restaurant inside a cave, lit up in multicolored lights. Lala welcomes James to girls night. After their seated, Katie says she wants to light both Schwartz and Raquel on f***ing fire. Lala says, they’ve crossed every line, and there’s no coming back. Katie says, she sat them both down, tears in her eyes, and we flash back to Raquel saying Schwartz respected Katie’s boundaries and Katie wondering why Raquel isn’t. We also go back to Katie meeting with Schwartz and saying just not in the friend group and how that would be painful. Katie says, it was just one request. They’re a pair of drunk imbeciles. James says, 100, and Lala talks about The Don, and how he was here last week. She tells them that she’s been d*cks-combobulated.  

Back at the resort, Scheana has the girls in her room, and says she and Brock have been married for a while. In her interview, she says, it was so hard not to tell everyone. Brock’s investors visa changed and she wanted him to get a green card, since they have a baby. She says, it’s actually their anniversary this week, and Ariana says, so many women want to get married because they want a wedding, but Scheana’s been living marriage. The wedding is icing on the cake. In Scheana’s interview, she says, they got married for themselves. They wanted a life together, and they have a baby. It didn’t matter if there were 100 or 4 people. Brock walks in, and Scheana says, they’ll have a group chat in the morning. Raquel asks if Scheana minds that she doesn’t want to walk with Schwartz anymore, and in Raquel’s interview, she says, as a pageant girl and model, any runway walk is important. Schwartz is so awkward, she immediately regretted her decision. Joey is a good walker. The girls leave, and Scheana asks if Brock is ready to do this tomorrow. He says he was born ready, and I realize I like Brock more than Scheana.

As they’re getting ready, Scheana suggests having a drink to take the edge off. In Scheana’s interview, she says, at her first wedding, she had a massive pit in her stomach, and we flash back to that. She says she thought that was normal, but now she knows this is what it’s supposed to feel like. She feels so lucky that she gets to be this happy. The guys drink out of their shoes, which makes me feel a little sick. In her interview, Scheana says she got so much sh*t for her crop top dress in 2014. We flash back to that, and she says she decided to go for more elegant, but it’s still sexy and see through. She loves her dress. It is beautiful, and much better than whatever that was the first time around. No surprise, Katie and Kristina’s balcony has a bird’s eye view, and Katie says, they’re going to be sweating their nuts off. Kristina says, if Scheana’s smart, she has a good seating chart. They decide to take a quick peek and realize Raquel is walking with Joey instead of Schwartz. I dunno. It doesn’t look like any special walk to me. Summer Moon is the flower girl, and looks like a little doll. When Scheana gets to the front, she has to take off her veil because of the wind, and in her interview, she says, with her first wedding, she was hyper-focused on every detail and what was going wrong. She didn’t realize the marriage itself was wrong. This time, it could be in the back alley behind SUR on Gay Pride Day, and she wouldn’t care. They read their own vows, and Brock says, she’s his true north. His cup overflows, and when he holds her, the world fades away. Zzzz…. She says, he’s her best friend, and even though she has a lot of those, he and Summer are number one. Katie agrees it was a beautiful wedding. She loves weddings. Just not that one.

Lala says, James said he’d marry Ally tomorrow, and asks if James still wants to get married in Palm Springs. He says he’s not into Palm Springs anymore, and in his interview, he says, Lala’s stupid questions are triggering him. Schwartz tells Raquel that he got into trouble with Katie, and we see some I hate you!!! texts. She said she never wanted to see him or talk to him again, but he hopes she doesn’t mean it. Raquel says, it’s not like they’re a couple, and she hopes there are no hard feelings about the last-minute switch. His walking skills aren’t up to her standards. Schwartz says he almost wants to meet up with Katie, and in Raquel’s interview, she says she thought there might be more, but the way Schwartz is playing it makes her curious as to why he made out with her to begin with. She says, he kissed her, but he says, no, you, and accuses her of revisionist history. The bridal party comes into the reception, and there are cheers as Brock dips Scheana. They have their first dance, and in Scheana’s interview, she says, everyone she wants is here witnessing this moment. It can’t be more perfect. Brock lifts her like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, and then brings out Summer. In her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t know what word describes her feeling. She’s so f***ing happy.

Kristina and Katie are having dinner, when Schwartz comes in, creeping around to their table. Katie just stares at him, and Kristina asks why he’s not at the wedding. He says he thought he’d come and say hi. He doesn’t want any weird tension. Katie says, they’re way past that, and he asks, how far? She says, the point of no return, and he says, they’ve been divorced for seven months. She says, he embarrassed her in a humiliating public way, and Schwartz insists he didn’t know anyone was watching. Kristina wonders how, since he was at a big party, and Katie says she hopes it was worth it. Schwartz says he was drunk, and Katie says, they’re done; there’s no friendship. In Katie’s interview, she says she has zero desire to talk to this shell of a man she used to love. She tells him that she thought he genuinely cared about her and her feelings, and they were keeping it amicable. He says, her feelings are exhausting, and in her interview, she says, he didn’t just burn his bridges, he nuked them; it’s vapor. She tells him that he’s a pathetic drunk and a loser, and in Schwartz’s interview, he says, after the kiss, something happened; a finality. He feels divorced. He tells Katie that she needs humility, and Kristina tells him that he should go. When he leaves, Katie says, WTF was that?

Ally catches the bouquet, selfies are taken, fireworks go off, and there’s dancing. Raquel asks to talk to Lala, and in Schwartz’s interview, he says, he’s realizing it’s not healthy to hang out with your ex after a divorce. It’s a good idea to take a healthy break. Raquel tells Lala that she feels bad about the comment she made at the party, and we flash back to her saying, Lala is giving off mistress bimbo vibes. Lala says she thought they had fun in Vegas, and a beautiful moment in the car. She’s not sure where the disconnect happened. Raquel says, they homed in on her, and Lala says she doesn’t think Raquel remembers Vegas very well. No one was judging her, and she was all over the place. Raquel says she felt attacked, and in Raquel’s interview, says she doesn’t know if Lala has a bad memory or she thinks this mean girl behavior is normal, but this gaslighting is exhausting. Raquel suggests they get a hobby besides talking about her, and Lala says she doesn’t care how Raquel feels; Raquel’s actions affected her friend. Raquel says she’s prepared to take accountability for making out with Schwartz, and Lala says, Raquel’s self-worth relies on the approval of a man. She thinks Raquel has a mental breakdown coming, and she’ll need love and support. Raquel says she always need’s love and support, and appreciates the people who give it to her. Lala says, Raquel appreciates people who bob their heads and tell her, it’s going to be okay. Raquel can’t compete with even the most minor complex thought, and says, nuh-uh, and they part company.

Katie and Kristina go to a bar, and Katie says she wants to get wine drunk. They look at Scheana’s Instagram, and Katie realizes the same guy that married Scheana and Brock also officiated at Scheana’s first wedding, and says, that’s f***ing odd. Agreed. Kristina says, since Schwartz is 100% out of Katie’s life, what’s next? Katie says, herself. Her healing’s been sped up. She needs a cute boy with emotional intelligence. In Katie’s interview, she says she’s slept with two guys since her divorce, and one is a casual ongoing thing. He’s 25 and she’s 36. Since she’s too young to be a cougar, she’s a puma. She wonders why they don’t have similar names for men, but I think they do. They’re just not as flattering. She tells Kristina that she’d been worried about bringing anyone around, but she doesn’t care about Schwartz’s feelings anymore.

Next time, Katie brings Satchel to meet the group; Sandoval says they have to open or they’ll lose the place; Lala invites everyone but Raquel, Schwartz, and Charli to her birthday; Garcelle and Oliver make an appearance; Raquel finds out Oliver wasn’t separated from his wife; and Lala says, that’s called a mistress.

🥡 Spring Rolling…

Come set a spell tomorrow for soap and a pot of sweet (or not) tea. Until then, stay safe, stay listening to others and not just waiting for your cue to speak, and stay knowing that some risks are worth taking.