What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Ryan looks at the driver’s licenses he’s kept. He says as much as he’ll miss his adopted hometown, he has to get out while the getting’s good. He turns around and sees Carly. He asks what she’s doing there.
In Ankara, Turkey some dudes play craps. Sonny asks if there’s room for one more.
Curtis looks at Jordan’s phone, and tries unlocking it. He has no luck. Chase joins him and asks how Jordan is. Curtis explains that they had to remove her kidney, but the other is compromised, and she’ll need a transplant. Chase asks if there’s anything he can do to help. Curtis says, maybe. Does he know who’s listed in her phone as urgent?
Anna calls Andre, and leaves a message about Jordan being in a serious accident. She thought he’d want to know. She asks him to call her back. She has another topic she’d like talk to him about. Finn is sure Andre appreciates the update. Anna knows she sounded vague, but she couldn’t say call her back because she thinks he might be the only person who can tell her if her memories are her own.
Laura tells Doc that she thinks they’re in trouble. Doc says, trouble is relative. At least his brother isn’t there holding them at knifepoint. No one has come down since then, and even if they did, he doesn’t know if they could trust them. There are two staff members he knows are working for Ryan. He admits they’re definitely in trouble. Laura says at least they’re together. She’s not giving up hope.
At Charlie’s, Ava tells Julian that she and Doc are getting married – tonight.
Felicia thinks Ava is messing with them, but Mac thinks Carly believes it was the truth. Felicia says, it doesn’t make sense. Mac says, it’s beyond strange, but let him elope with Ava. Lucy overhears, and drops the box of party tableware she’s holding. She says, Doc and Ava what?
Carly says she can’t help but notice what Doc had in his trunk.
The card dealer says he doesn’t think this is the game for Sonny. He must have gotten lost on his way to Monte Carlo. Sonny says, Turkish poker, and runs down the list of rules. He shows them his wad of cash, and says he thought a game would help him pass the time. A dude pats him down, and he sits, saying, deal him in.
Anna tells Finn, Andre is doing volunteer work overseas; penance for what he did. At least that’s what he said. Finn asks if she thinks he knew she was Patient One. Anna says, he had his secrets, but she doesn’t think he’d lie to her face. Finn asks if she could be rationalizing, When the WSB didn’t like it, Andre took his act to the DVX. She thinks he was probably more interested in the procedure than who the subjects were. She wishes there was some way to find out if Cabot was telling the truth about some memories possibly being her sister’s. She can’t let this go. Finn understands, and he’ll be with her every step of the way, but – she says, there’s always a but – he can’t get past something Cabot said. Memories are not widgets. They have no definite quantity or mass. He asks if she can consider the possibility that she might never know which, if any, of her memories belong to Alex.
Curtis tells Chase, after Jordan was hit by the car, she received a voicemail listed as urgent, but there’s no contact information. Chase asks what they said, but Curtis doesn’t know her password. It’s obviously important. Chase says he doesn’t have to take this on; it can wait until she’s better. Curtis says it seemed pressing, and Chase asks if he’s not just projecting. Curtis asks if Chase means he might be trying to control something because he can’t control Jordan’s recovery. Maybe, but there’s only one way to find out – crack it for him. Chase says he’d need approval. Curtis says, from the commissioner? He needs Chase to do him this solid. Chase takes the phone, and says he’ll see what he can do.
Ryan asks Carly, what about his trunk? She says Ava was more than eager to tell them she was eloping with him. He’s sure there were naysayers when she married Sonny over and over. She says he’s right. His personal business is none of hers, but she’d like to ask him something before he skips town. It’s about Wilson Ritter.
Doc tells Laura that they need a miracle, but he believes in them. She found him, and together they can do anything. She loves his positive attitude. He says attitude can make a pivotal difference. Edison never failed. He found a thousand ways not to make the lightbulb before he found the way that worked. Laura says they have to use the process of elimination. They can’t leave by the door; it’s locked. Doc says, the pipes? She says she’s already banged on them, but he says, they’re a conduit. They come from somewhere. Maybe they can pull one loose. Laura is glad to be with him again. She missed hearing him talk, and the way his mind works. She’s astonished and ashamed that she thought Ryan was him. He tells her to cut herself some slack. Ryan is his identical twin. She says, in appearance only. Even when he was trying to feign empathy, it never rang true. She should have figured it out. Doc was never secretive with her. He was always open, honest, and straightforward. Doc says, that’s not exactly true. Rut-roh.
Julian says, that’s news? and Ava says he doesn’t sound excited. He says he’s surprised. Why the mad dash? Doc is divorced, right? She says it’s been finalized, and they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Losing Kiki taught her life is fragile, and you have to hold on to whatever brings you happiness. She thought, as her brother, he’d be happy for her. He says he is, but it seems like she didn’t just come there for that. She says she came there for advice.
Lucy tries to pick everything up, babbling about how she wanted the next Nurses’ Ball to be special, and now it’s ruined. Mac says, nothing is damaged, but Felicia doesn’t think she’s talking about the box. Lucy says, it can’t be true; Doc’s not eloping tonight. Mac says that’s what Ava told them. She says, Ava is lying, but they don’t thinks so. She doesn’t believe it. Not her Doc. He never does anything spur of the moment, and hates change. Mac agrees he’s been acing strange for a while now. Lucy says, he’s been so disconnected from what matters most to him. Now she’s really worried. Felicia is too, and wants to do something about it.
Ryan asks if Carly is talking about the patient in the room adjacent to hers in Ferncliff. She says he told her there was extra security, and assumes he never saw the patient’s face. She wonders if Wilson Ritter could be a pseudonym for Todd Wilson. He asks how she knows that name. She says Franco mentioned in his interview that Ryan used it. She wonders if they could be connected.
Doc starts to tell Laura something, but she sees Danzinger carved into one of the bricks in the wall. She asks Doc why it sounds familiar. He says Archie Danzinger was a serial killer at the turn of the last century. He was a physicist and engineer who had a psychotic break. He liked to leave puzzles to taunt the police. She asks if he was there at Ferncliff, and Doc says, he was an early patient, kept in solitary confinement. He escaped without a trace, and no evidence was ever found of his breakout. Laura says Ryan told them that the ultimate crazies were locked in the basement. What if that was his route, and he found a way to escape from there, and it’s written on the wall?
The owner asks what brings Sonny to his establishment? Sonny says one of his associates had to go into hiding. Raj Patel, an exporter. Do they know him? The owner says he’s out, and so does the dealer. They go into another room, and the dealer says they have to get ready to move. There’s a cop in their midst. Boy, are they off.
Anna tells Finn she’s going to see Jordan; she’s one of Anna’s closest friends. Finn says she’s dodging his question. She says he’s right. There’s a chance she might never know if her memories were affected, but she can’t give up. She has to try and find out. Finn says whatever she’s hoping to find might require Alex’s cooperation. She says, not necessarily. Doc wasn’t a willing participant, and obviously his brother wasn’t involved.
Laura tells Doc that if Danzinger was held there, he carved his name in a brick. She asks Doc to help her move the box that he’s leaning on. She sees Cu carved in it. Doc says it was a hundred years before texting, so he doubts it was an abbreviation for see you. I laugh because that’s exactly what I thought it was. Laura says he left puzzles; maybe this is part of one. Doc asks how it’s written, and she tells him the C is capitalized, and the u is lowercase. Like the beginning of a word. Doc says, copper.
Chase tells Curtis that he’s breaking a dozen protocols. Curtis says if Jordan freaks, he’ll take the hit, but if he’s right, she’ll owe them one. Chase hands him the phone, and Curtis listens to the message. He says, it’s Franco. He said her plan worked, and Ryan Chamberlain is the serial killer.
Ryan tells Carly, presuming Wilson Ritter is connected is a reach. It’s a common name. She says, it fits though. When Mary Pat was taking her through the hall, she saw someone who looked just liked him. He says Ryan is dead, but she says no body was found. He says it was incinerated in the fire. She was over-medicated and highly emotional. She was being taken by a nurse she couldn’t trust to a treatment she didn’t want, and conjured up a friendly face to rescue her. She thinks she saw him, not Ryan. She says, it makes sense, but she has to keep searching until she figures out the truth. He tells her to wait. She might be on to something. He opens his trunk.
The owner and dealer come back, and Sonny says they missed a good hand. The dealer says, when you don’t have the cards, you don’t have the cards, which I guess must lose something in the translation. He says Sonny claims Raj is an associate? Does he work in arms dealing? Sonny says he doesn’t discuss business in public. The dealer says it’s an interesting country. The WSB isn’t allowed to interfere there, but if you put a bounty on someone’s head, it makes sense come there. It’s unfortunate if the Bureau sent a man to track him, and showed contempt of the borders. Sonny says he has the wrong idea. The owner says he doesn’t think so, and pulls out a gun. Sonny flips the table, and draws his own gun. He says he’s just trying to find his son. The owner says Sonny is a WSB agent. Robert is suddenly there, and says, no he’s not, but I am.
Sonny asks Robert what he’s doing there, and Robert says he was in the area, adding that Sonny has a way of escalating a situation. Sonny says he tried the polite way. He asks the dealer where Raj is, but the dealer says Raj crossed them and disappeared, just like he told Sonny’s associate a few weeks back. Sonny asks if it was his son.
Chase tells Curtis, at least Franco is consistent. He found Franco at Elizabeth’s house, bleeding out from a serious knife wound. He said he lied, and the killer is Ryan Chamberlain. Curtis asks, who stabbed him? and Chase says, Doc. When Franco was trying escape, he attacked Doc, who stabbed him in self-defense. The working theory is that Franco snapped, and thought Doc was his twin. He doesn’t get how Franco had access to a phone, and why his number was listed urgent. Curtis thinks he knows.
Doc tells Laura that Cu is the symbol for copper. Danzinger would have known that, being a physicist and engineer. Laura wonders what copper had do with him escaping. Did he use a copper wire to pick the lock? Doc asks if there’s anything made of copper in the room, but she says, there’s nothing in the room but pipes. Doc says, copper pipes, and she says, there’s one that looks like copper.
Ava tells Julian that she’s never been married. When she was younger, she thought it was for fools, and after Kiki was born, she cherished it being just the two of them. He asks if she’s been in love, and she says there have been men she thought she could spend the rest of her life with, but never wanted to make it official. She never wanted to say the vows, except with Doc. She doesn’t want to mess it up. Julian laughs, and says she wants advice from him? She says he knows what not to do. He says he can give her guidelines, but the truth is you just have to see each other for your true selves, and accept each other for who you are. You can’t see someone as a fixer upper. Some people view marriage like a home improvement project, thinking they’ll make alterations later. Ava says Doc is her taste the way he is. Julian asks if Doc feels the same way. She says he does; he knows her. Julian says he loved Alexis, but it was doomed from the start. He hid his true self, and she tried to change him. Kim accepts who he is. Does Doc accept her for who she truly is? Ava says, he does, and Julian asks if Doc is his most honest self with her. Ava believes he is.
Mac asks if Lucy is okay, but she says, no. She can’t believe Doc divorced Laura and didn’t marry… is marrying Ava. Mac tells her to give it to him straight. She says, deep down, she thought they’d be together again, until Laura. When they married, it finally registered that she’d lost him forever. It broke her heart, but in a good way. It was nice to see Doc happy with someone who wanted to make him happy. At that point, she was able to wish them well. A few months ago, she noticed that Doc seemed like he had a wandering eye – not that she’d ever be the other woman. She says he’s part of her soul, her best friend, and she’s so worried about what’s really going on.
In the garage, Ryan cleans a tire iron. Felicia appears, and says it’s time she got real answers from him.
Everyone has their guns drawn, and Sonny shows the Turkish dudes a picture of Dante. The dealer says they told him Raj hadn’t been there in years, and to get lost. Robert says Sonny is looking for his son; they don’t want trouble. The dealer says, too late. Sonny says they have two options. Shoot each other, and some get hit and some die, or call it a draw and walk out alive. The dealer lowers his gun, and so does everyone else. Robert thanks them for their time. He and Sonny back out of the room, and he tells them to enjoy their card game.
Curtis tells Chase, it stays off the record. Early on, Jordan expressed doubt that the killer was Franco. She had some plan to flush out the killer. He guesses Franco pleading guilty and going to Ferncliff was part of the plan. Chase says before the accident, Jordan had called and left him a message that she wanted to bring him in on something she was working on. He’s willing bet that’s what it was. He thinks it must have been too much for Franco and he snapped. Why attack Doc, or claim a man who’s been dead twenty-five years is the killer. Anna and Finn arrive, and Anna asks what they’re saying about Ryan.
Ryan tells Felicia that he’s in a hurry. Felicia says they heard. He assumes she’s not there to offer congratulations. She says he’s worrying her. He divorced Laura without a peep about him being unhappy. What’s gotten into him? He says he thought he’d found the woman he was destined to spend the rest of his life with, but in the end, she wasn’t worthy of him. She asks if he’s listening to himself. Ava is trouble, and is going to ruin his life. He says, it’s hardly a life and death situation. Felicia doesn’t respond, and he asks if she’s there. She says, sorry. It’s just what he said sounded familiar. Ava arrives, and says she’s ready to go when he is. Felicia says she was just leaving. Ava asks what that was about, and Ryan shrugs.
Laura takes Doc over to the pipe, and puts his hands on it. She tells him it’s a different color than the rest. He asks if there are any other clues. She says, there’s nothing scratched in it; it just looks like there’s a lot of wear. There’s a sound, and Doc says, something shifted. Laura asks if it’s supposed to do that, and he says, no. He twists it, and she says, the wall is moving.
Sonny asks what Robert is doing there. He thought Robert didn’t want to risk a border situation. Robert says he doesn’t, but owes him for Robin. Sonny was there when he couldn’t be, and he pays his debts. What is he, a Lannister? Sonny asks, what now? Is Robert going to help him track Dante. Robert says he’ll do Sonny one better. He did some digging. They’ll get some rest, and meet up with someone who has real information about Dante’s location.
Laura and Doc push the pipes, and the wall opens. Laura says they did it. Doc asks, what is it? She crouches down, and says, it’s a tunnel. She thinks they found the way out.
Chase tells Anna that they think Franco is innocent. He was working with Jordan. Curtis says she wasn’t sure who she could trust in the department, so it was off the books. Finn asks if that’s why Franco did the interview, and Chase says, to goad the killer into making a move, but Franco had a break with reality, and thinks Ryan is out to get him. Curtis asks Anna what she knows, and Finn says his name came up in a seemingly unrelated situation. Anna says, there are too many people talking about a dead man, and she doesn’t believe in coincidences.
Mac asks if Felicia found Doc. She says she did, but couldn’t get through to him. He said it wasn’t a life and death situation. Lucy says it’s not right, and wonders if it’s some midlife crises. Felicia suddenly flashes back to a time she was talking with Ryan, and Ryan telling her, don’t exaggerate. It’s hardly a life or death situation. Mac says, he’s not acting like himself right now. Felicia says, he’s acting like Ryan.
Ava asks Ryan what Felicia wanted, and he says, nothing important. He asks if she’s ready to hit the road, and the beginning of a new life together. She gets in the car. He puts her suitcase in the trunk, where he has Carly bound and gagged. Ava asks if he’s coming, and he says he’ll be right there.
Tomorrow, Oscar says they’re stranded until his car can be fixed, Epiphany asks if Jordan can hear her, and Elizabeth asks if Ryan can be alive.
Vanderpump Rules
James calls Tom, asking if he wants to play golf. Tom thinks Jax plays, and James says he’ll try him later. He tells James that Lala and Rand broke up, and James says he’s not surprised. They were always fighting, and Rand is 78 years old. The jealousy runs strong in this one. Rand isn’t all that old, is actually kind of cute, and incredibly successful. James wonders if Lala is going to stick to this break up, or she’ll go for the roses and Chanel bags. I pick door number two.
Jax brings home four different ice creams, and vodka for Lala. Brittany explains about the breakup. Jax says, omg, she’ll have to fly commercial. Katie comes over, bearing babas to soothe Lala. They pour Tito’s into them. Lala arrives, and Jax makes himself scarce. Lala says she lasted all of seventeen hours. When she saw him living his best life after harassing her about drinking, she was done. She knows he felt badly. He took her Gucci slides, but then gave them back. In her interview, Lala says if she and Rand come together in a moment of clarity and recommit, she can let it go. And she got her shoes back. Jax plays drums in his room, dubbed Jax’s Cave.
Lala talks about her film premiere. She’s starring in The Row, a film Rand produced. She says the character is a prude, and it was a stretch. Afterward, just the two of them are celebrating, since they need alone time.
Lisa tells us that the profits on the products sold at Vanderpump Dogs goes to the center, but she thinks it would be nice to eventually turn it into a business. Schwartz brings in his dog for a rinse, since the dog had just gotten groomed, then rolled in a dead bird. Yep. If it’s smelly and awful, they want to roll in it, especially if they’ve just had a bath. Beau wants his dog look like a hipster, but Stassi says no lady wants look like that. Lisa asks about the girls trip. Stassi says it was fantastic, except for Kristen, who turns into Satan on vacation. She’s having problems with Carter. Lisa is sorry it’s not working out with Carter, since he’s been a stabilizing factor for her. Lisa obviously didn’t get the memo, and Stassi hesitates to give it to her. In Stassi’s interview, she says all Kristen talks about is how unhappy she is. Carter doesn’t treat her right. It’s like when she was with Patrick. The only difference is, Kristen is older and should know better. Don’t count on it. Stassi tells Lisa that she’s meeting Beau’s mom this week. She’s also doing a mini workshop to help the group with their relationships. In her interview, Stassi says Beau has been taught and trained his whole life to deal with psychos like her. Beau says he and Stassi have talked about a future. In Lisa’s interview, she says she finally got Ken’s mom’s approval. It only took about twenty-five years.
Tom is working on a loan application, and forwards it to Ariana. She wants move, but realizes that rent money just goes down drain. In her interview, she says for most of her friends, being an adult means getting engaged, married, and having kids. For her, it’s the financial independence of getting a house, and owning property. Ha-ha! Just wait until you have your own money pit. Although they probably make more money in a week than we do in a year. Tom says he wants enough bedrooms. He wants kids even if it’s to adopt. He’d like to raise a kid or kids. Ariana listens to classical music in her head. He asks if she’d be open to considering it. Jax brought it up. In Ariana’s interview, she says there’s two things she knows for sure. She doesn’t want kids, and she wants people to stop asking if she wants kids. Stay the eff out of her uterus. In his interview, Tom says it’s never an easy thing to bring up, but it’s fair to ask about, since they’re planning a future. Ariana says, it’s nobody’s business.
At SUR, Brittany gives Jax drink orders. It’s packed and busy as usual. Lala is about ready to blow; it’s so crazy. She tells Brittany that tomorrow she’s walking the carpet for a film she’s the lead in. She’s excited, but sh*tting bricks. She never thought she’d be in a horror film, since she’s not a great screamer.
Jax is having a dinner break, when James calls. He invites Jax for golf. In Jax’s interview, he says he clearly isn’t friends with James, nor does he want to be, but James is Tom’s friend, and he likes golf, so why not?
Stassi and Lala go to get their hair done. Lala loves girl time. Stassi says she’s never known someone who’s been in a movie, and it’s her favorite genre. Lala tells her that Rand effed up, and she thought he betrayed her trust. Stassi says she couldn’t even tell anything was wrong. In her interview, Stassi says they have a million group chats. How come this was never mentioned. She asks Lala how long it was before they got serious. Lala says Rand saw her, and sent his assistant to ask if she was an actress. She told him to look at her Instagram account. The next day, she got a phone call saying she had an audition. They went out after the audition, and she let him hit it the first night. After that, they were inseparable. She also got a car the next day. Stassi asks if her vagina is made of sparkles? In Stassi’s interview, she says she’s had guys call her an Uber, and thought that was nice. Lala tells Stassi about how she sometimes wears a wig and meets Rand at a bar, and they role play. I can’t believe the hairdresser is even keeping a straight face as Lala tells Stassi about their sexual adventures.
James says, it’s been a rocky road when it comes to Lisa and SUR. She told him he needs to take tangible steps better himself, or he can’t get his job back. He doesn’t even like golf, but anything for the guys to tell Lisa that he’s doing better. Actually, she said he may never get his job back, but okay. Tom says he and Ariana are looking at houses, and he’d appreciate it if they didn’t bring up anything about having kids. James says he’ll probably have one before any of them do. Tom understands that giving birth freaks Ariana out, but it’s not a hard no. However, if people keep asking, she’s going to say never. In Jax’s interview, he wonders if he didn’t ask questions, would Ariana be pumping out kids? He doesn’t think so. He tells Tom they should have the conversation. Schwartz thinks ultimatums are effective; they get sh*t done. That, or they get you a push out the door.
Kristen says Lala’s movie is about sorority bitches eating flesh. It’s from the college slasher hot girl genre. She wonders if that could be a genre. I vote no. The girls go out to eat. Stassi says it will be a big fail if Beau’s mom doesn’t like her. She’s so nervous, her boobs are sweating, and even her boob sweat is sweating. She tells Kristen that she and Carter should be open and honest. Kristen insists things are more positive, and now he’s carrying his weight financially. In her interview, Katie says Kristen recently vented about not being happy. Now it’s like some miracle happened overnight. Stassi says if it’s a group situation, she’ll tell them things are good. Brittany tells her to make sure they’re honest. Stassi thinks it seems like she’s hiding things. In her interview, Brittany says Carter went on vacation, and took Kristen’s entire wallet. She didn’t even have her ID or anything. I’m stunned. I wouldn’t just break up with him, I’d call the police and report my stolen wallet. Katie tells her, wake up. She’s not happy. They don’t sleep in the same bed, they don’t have sex, and he’s mean to her. In her interview, Kristen says if she gets married, it’s going to be to Carter. She’s getting older, and doesn’t want to be alone and miserable, so she needs her friends’ support. Katie thinks she should get the eff out now. Yeah, don’t settle like this. Get some therapy instead, and find out why you think so little of yourself.
Stassi meets Beau and his mom Isa at an outdoor restaurant. In her interview, Stassi says, it’s crazy. This woman could be her future mother-in-law. She feels like this is her wedding day. Is that creepy? I dunno if it’s creepy, but it’s weird. They hug, and Stassi gives her a gift bag. Isa says Stassi is beautiful, but what moves Beau is personality; who she is. That’s a real compliment. Beau says Stassi is the first girl he thought of as his best friend. Stassi gets teary. Beau has to pee, and says don’t embarrass him when he’s gone. He’s leaving his phone on record. Stassi says she loves Beau, and was scared to meet her, because it matters that much more. Isa says she loves him, and he’s happy with her. He really loves her, and cares about her as a person. In his interview, Beau plays the recording, where Stassi says she hopes it’s not too freaky to hope that Isa is her future mother-in-law. Isa feels the same way. Stassi says she loves Beau so effing much, and Isa thanks Stassi for loving her son. Beau thinks it went well. Stassi tells Isa she’s a huge part of the reason Beau is the way he is. Isa thanks her, but says she’s wrong.
Britanny has three birthday parties in her section at work. She tells Katie, it’s past ten, and she can’t eat or drink, since she has surgery tomorrow. She’s getting her wisdom teeth pulled. She says the last time she had surgery was when she had her boobs done. Jax didn’t care for her as he should have, but now that they’re engaged, he’d better.
DJ Mickey spins. Lisa comes in asks why Schwartz is there. She asks what’s happening with the term sheet, and Tom says they’re lawyer has been out of town. In her interview, Lisa says they wanted it and wanted it, so she gave them the term sheet. TomTom’s opening is coming up, but they can’t open if the Toms aren’t 100% on board. She tells them, Jax is looking good right now.
Jax brings a loopy Brittany home. In his interview, he says in the past, his relationships were going nowhere, and he didn’t want to care of anyone. With Brittany, things are different. He loves her, and she’s his best friend. He enjoys taking care of her, and almost gets off on it. Ariana stops by to say hey real quick. She brought Brittany popsicles. She removes one of the dogs from the bedroom, telling Jax the puppy is too hyped to be playing nurse. Jax tells her that he’s sorry for asking about kids. It’s a normal question, so he didn’t realize it would cause a problem. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it’s textbook Jax. Apologizing for bringing up kids, then proceeding to talk about kids. Ha-ha! Yep. He means well; he’s just an idiot. Jax says if they’re getting a house, that means they’re thinking about a future. Before they buy a house, they should make sure they’re on the same page. In her interview, Ariana says Jax is not the authority. She wants him to take his head out of her vagina. Ariana says if she wants to leave, Tom can buy her out, and she’ll stay there
Beau’s mom is doing a relationship workshop, and Kristen offers her place. Carter says it should be stadium seating. In Kristen’s interview, she says the irony isn’t lost on her that when her relationships are rocky, she’s under attack from her friends. Schwartz is scared. What if it gets freaky? Isa arrives, and says she plans on discussing what happens when we’re emotionally triggered. Schwartz asks if they can have shots first. In her interview, Stassi explains that Beau’s mom doesn’t charge. She just likes helping people. Isa says normally, she has people ask questions, but this time, she thought she’d teach them what they can apply in their own lives. She says when the old primal part of the brain, the reptilian brain, is emotionally triggered, the part that solves problems is no longer functioning. In Lala’s interview, she wonders if the reptilian brain is all she has left. Isa says, like Alien vs Predator; there’s no potential for compromise. In her interview, Ariana thinks maybe that’s why she wants to stab Jax. Isa says they need a safety plan for when they’re triggered, and suggests getting out of the same space. She says, the payment is intimacy, which we all yearn for, and I gag a little.
Afterward, Beau tells Kristen that his mom likes to talk for hours. Kristen says she could listen for hours. Ariana imagined herself turning into a dinosaur. She tells Tom that she heard he’d said not having kids was a deal-breaker at his birthday party. A) that’s news to her, and B) there’s the door. I laugh, since that sounds like what I’d say. She says he’s not being held hostage. Tom apologizes, babbling that’s not how he meant it. She says it was disrespectful to her, and makes it sound like they’re not a good team. And should they make that decision in the future, it requires being a good team. In his interview, Tom translates this to mean that in ten years, he can possibly bring up having kids. He tells her that he’ll take care of the kid, and she can choose her own level of involvement, if that happens. She thinks they sound progressive.
Carter joins Katie and Stassi, who are sitting on Kristen’s bed. He says he’s proud of Stassi and Beau, and gives props to Katie on her marriage. Then he asks why they’re bad-mouthing him. Katie says they’re not. It’s what Kristen is telling them. Stassi tells him to look her in the eye, and tell her they have an awesome relationship. She says in Kristen’s texts, she always says he’s being mean to her. Carter says it wasn’t that good until recently. They had a rocky patch. Katie thinks it’s rude for them to have this conversation in Kristen’s bed. She says Kristen is upset and miserable about the way Carter treats her.
Kristen talks to Isa about venting. Carter tells Stassi and Katie that he and Kristen get in fights because the two of them are rude. In the living room, Schwartz says, it’s like Thunderdome in there. Carter tells them that they’re scary. Kristen comes in, and Stassi asks if they’re the problem in her relationship. Kristen tells Stassi not to raise her voice in her bedroom. Katie says everything she said about Carter is what she heard from Kristen. Stassi says they’re not making it up. She asks again if Kristen and Carter fight because of them. Carter says, after Kristen hangs out with them, they always get in arguments. Katie asks if she’s supposed to ignore what Kristen is telling her. Kristen says she feels like leaving her own house. In her interview, Kristen says when Schwartz and Katie went through their sh*t before the wedding, she always told them that they’ve got this. She wants them to have her back. She tells Katie that she wants them to just be there for her, not for the demise of her relationship. Katie says, some people have amnesia, and walks out.
Schwartz wonders if he should go to Katie, but the others suggest he let her deescalate. Kristen waves sage around Stassi, who can’t believe Kristen saged her. In her interview, Stassi says, Kristen has spent the first thirty-five years of her life in a blind drunken rage, helicopter punching anyone in her path. Now she’s Mahatma Gandhi? Give her a break. She tells Kristen to stop lying.
Next time, TomTom is readied for the opening, bedazzling, waxing, James DJing, Tom invites James and Raquel on the Mexico trip, and tells Katie she’s a bully.
🐣 Stassi and Katie were tonight’s guests on Watch What Happens Live. I have no idea what was in Katie’s head when she chose her outfit, but no. Just no. It looked like she was somebody’s grandma wearing a bizarre concoction made of Easter outfits from the 70s. The chunky necklace, and retro Grateful Dead tee were fine, but I did not know what to make of the purple polyester pantsuit, and the hair glitter that made her look like she had grey roots. This is the East Coast, honey. You can do better then that. Go shopping in Soho or something. Even Macy’s.
⛵ D-bag Kyle, creeper Carl, and all the other horrible five-year-old adults are back in the Summer House. Nothing has changed.
💔 I Never Knew He Was On Loving…
Although I only watched it for about five minutes when Faison did a crossover from GH. This is getting creepy. It seems like our lifespans are getting much shorter.
https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/luke-perry-dead-169878
🐶 Don’t Like Her Much, But Love Her Dog…
We might not agree on much, but I’m with Kristen that aggressive dogs need to be leashed and/or muzzled in public spaces. I never blame the dog or a breed. Only the owner. I hope they nail this idiot.
😍 Giggy!
My TV dog crush.
🍑 You Know He Wants To Be Holding a Peach…
Peter would just love to be a Housewife, so I was hoping for something a little more scandalous.
💫 Here We Go Again…
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 