What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Josslyn tells Carly that she’s not going to school. She can’t. Carly asks if it’s about Oscar; did they have a fight? Josslyn says, no fight, no nothing; he just dumped her. Carly hugs her.

Oscar approaches Cameron in the library, who’s working on his Catcher in the Rye report. The most he’s gotten so far is, Holden Caufield is a sort of tool, something we can probably all agree on, but not enough for a report. Oscar gives Cameron his paper, and tells him to take it. He doesn’t need it.

At the hospital, Kim tells Drew that Oscar isn’t talking much. He stayed in his room all night. Drew says his entire world has been turned upside down; he’s still in shock. Kim says he’s angry at her for not telling him, and left without saying goodbye. He’s never done that. Drew says Oscar is hurting. He’ll come around. He needs his family. They all do.

Maxie goes to Nina’s office to give her a non-Crimson relate update. Peter told her that the WSB has a lead on Obrecht. Nina says, uh-huh. Maxie says her crazy aunt might implicate her. What’s more important than that?

Laura tells not-Doc it will take a while for her to re-acclimate. She notices he has no fever, and hated that he slept in the guest room. He says he’d hate it more if she came down with a cold. He coughs for effect. She thinks the idea of being quarantined for a few days with him isn’t bad, but he doesn’t want to ruin her other reunions. She goes to the kitchen to make him some tea, saying she’ll have him feeling like a new man.

Nina tells Maxie, it’s not a good time; she’s meeting someone. Maxie picks up Sasha’s picture, and asks if Nina is thinking of her for the outerwear shoot, and says Nina should book her. Curtis comes in, and Maxie asks, what’s going on? assuming Nina hired a PI to find Obrecht before the WSB does. Maxie leaves, and Curtis asks Nina if she wants to find Obrecht. She says, no. She wants to talk about this picture, showing him Sasha. Why didn’t he tell her that he was searching for her daughter.

Josslyn tells Carly, it came out of nowhere. She thought things were great, and thinking about the past year, she doesn’t get it. Carly asks what Oscar said, and Josslyn says he told her that he needed space, and it wasn’t her fault. She asked for an actual reason; something she did or didn’t do, but he didn’t say anything. He just took off. Carly thinks he’s going through something that he’s not ready to share yet. Josslyn asks, why? They shared everything. What changed?

Cameron reads, the imagery of isolation in Catcher in the Rye, and tells Oscar that he’ll be called out for plagiarism. No thanks. Oscar wonders how the teacher would find out. Cameron says Oscar is her favorite student; she’ll recognize his writing. Oscar tells him to move stuff around and dumb it down. Just take it. Cameron says Oscar hated him for kissing Josslyn, remember? Why is Oscar doing him a favor? Oscar says he doesn’t need the paper, and Cameron asks if this is about what happened at the community center. Oscar tells Cameron that when he said Oscar had cancer, he was right. Plenty of people knew; his parents, Cameron’s mom, Franco, everybody except him.

Kim and Drew meet with Monica in her office. Monica says they wanted to talk about Oscar. Has he had another hypoglycemic episode? Kim says Oscar doesn’t have hypoglycemia. He has a brain tumor, and gives her the specific medical term. Drew says they’re not giving up. They’re going to fight.

Laura says not-Doc seems better already. It must have been a twenty-four hour bug. He tells her that he’ll get checked out at GH. She’s surprised he’s going to work. She was looking forward to spending the day with him. He says they’ll have lots of days. She asks if he can’t play hooky; he has a  good excuse. He says is patients need him. Laura gives him a gift bag, saying she got a present. He says her early return was present enough, and takes out a photo of them in Paris. She thought he could find a nice spot for it in his office. He says he’ll find a very special place. She asks him to wear the blue tie she got him for his birthday. She wants to see it on him.

Kim explains that Oscar’s tumor is inoperable, but Terry is putting him in a trail of amino therapy that’s minimally invasive. Monica says, it sounds promising, and Kim says, it’s a long shot. Drew tells Monica that they’re going to take it day by day. Monica would like to see Terry’s report and test results. She wants to be up to speed and on the same page. Kim promises to get them to her. Monica says even if it should turn out to be a disappointment, trials and treatments are being developed all the time. She apologizes for sounding clinical, but Kim says it’s easier. Monica tells her that Oscar’s family will get him through this. They have to.

Cameron doesn’t know what to say, and Oscar tells him, don’t say anything. He doesn’t care about school. Cameron asks, why? The Quartermaines will send him to a fancy treatment place, and he’ll be even more of a hero to Josslyn. Oscar says, Josslyn doesn’t know. Cameron says she deserves to hear it from him. He’s mad at his parents for keeping him in the dark. How is Josslyn going to feel when she finds out he did the same thing to her? She’s smart, and already suspicious. Oscar says she won’t find out; he made sure of it. Cameron asks, how? and Oscar says, it doesn’t matter. Consider the paper payment for keeping his mouth shut.

Josslyn says, when she asked Carly how you know you love someone, she said there was no magic test. She was wrong. When she said that, Josslyn wasn’t sure if she loved him, but now she knows. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t hurt so much. Carly says she’s so sorry. Josslyn doesn’t understand why he told her he loved her. He looked her in the eye, and said the words. Carly says, he’s going through something. She can’t force him to tell her, and needs to decide how to deal with it. She can’t turn the pain on herself. Carly tells her not to feel small and afraid. Cry, stand back up, and keep moving. She left out, eat ice cream. Josslyn doesn’t think she’s strong enough. Carly says she’s the epitome of strong. She’ll get through this. Whatever is going on, it has nothing to do with her, and it’s not her fault. Josslyn tells Carly that’s what Oscar said, but it doesn’t make her feel better. She knows she has to find a way to deal, but can’t see him. Carly says she’s going to see him eventually. Josslyn tells her not to worry, but Carly says, that’s the thing about being a parent; you never stop. They hug, and exchange I love yous. When Carly leaves, Josslyn picks up her phone.

Curtis tells Nina that he didn’t want to get her hopes up until he had more proof. He wasn’t convinced Valentin’s intentions were pure. Nina says, Valentin is a master of mixed motives. Curtis says Valentin wanted to find her daughter, but also change her mind about the divorce. That’s why he took the case; to protect her best interests. He was able to locate the lawyer Madeline brokered the adoption with, and he filled in the gaps. Spinelli tracked the money that changed hands, and it led to Sasha. He emailed her, they spoke on the phone, and she agreed to meet. It wasn’t easy, but he convinced her to take the DNA test. Valentin insisted on a backup, and he’s waiting on the results. Nina asks if Curtis thinks Sasha could be her daughter.

Maxie is standing outside Nina’s office, trying to listen. Felicia walks in, and says she was thinking about how Maxie has thrown herself back into Crimson. She’s been doing all the heavy lifting for Nina, and has a baby at home. She needs a break. Felicia hands Maxie a folder, and tells her she has some ideas for a mother/daughter trip. They have a lot of options, and can take James if she wants. What does she think? Maxie thinks Felicia needs it more than she does.

Laura is still in the kitchen, and not-Doc takes the price tag off the tie. He says he’ll think of her every time he wears it, and tightens it between his hands, like he’s about to strangle her with it. There’s a knock at the door. I laugh at him being forever foiled. It’s Lulu, who says she hopes it’s not too early. Laura comes out, and they hug. Lulu is happy Laura is home, and Laura says her too. Lulu has five hundred questions, and not-Doc says he’ll leave them to catch up. Lulu thinks Laura clearly has a restorative effect. Lulu suggests not-Doc SKYPE with his patients, but Laura says he’s old school; face to face. Not-Doc says he likes to be intimate, personal, and on time. He leaves, and Laura says her timing is rotten. She finally gets home, and he’s fighting a cold. He spent the night in the guest room, but knowing him, he probably has something wonderful planned tonight.

Felicia asks what makes Maxie think she wants to get away. Can’t she just plan a fun trip for them? Maxie says, under normal circumstances, but these aren’t normal circumstances. Felicia admits that a TV station is hounding her for an interview on Ryan. She turned them down of course. She spoke with Lulu, because she’s a responsible journalist, and promised to focus on the victims and not the sensationalism. She’s not like the others who want to profit from tragedy. Felicia is worried about Maxie though.

Curtis tells Nina the test is 99.9% accurate, but Nina doesn’t care about percentages. She cares about what Curtis thinks. He says nothing that was said convinced him that Sasha isn’t her daughter, but he needs more evidence. Nina says, something like this? and shows him the necklace.

Kim tells Monica that Oscar recently learned he’s sick, and is having a hard time dealing. He doesn’t want anyone to know. Drew says they’re telling her because she’s Oscar’s grandmother, and the chief-of-staff. Monica says she’s also a cancer survivor, and Oscar feels like he’s living under a microscope right now. They don’t want to make him feel any worse. Kim leaves to get the report. Monica asks Drew how he’s doing. He doesn’t know; he feels punch-drunk. He just found Oscar, and has been figuring out how to be a father. He wasn’t prepared for this. He doesn’t know what to do, and Monica tells him it’s the worst thing to face, but they’ll fight it. They’ll do it together.

Cameron arrives at Sonny’s, and tells Josslyn that he cut PE. He’s going to have to run extra laps; this better be worth it. She says, sorry, but it’s important. She needs him to be honest. Last night, Oscar came over and broke up with her. He asks if she’s sure. Maybe she’s overreacting to something Oscar said the wrong way. She tells Cameron that Oscar said he couldn’t be in a relationship right now, and needed space. The he left. Cameron says he’s sorry it happened. She says, don’t be; help her. Tell  her why he did it.

Carly sees not-Doc at the hospital, and says he saved her a call. He says, about what? and she says, therapy. She’s ready to talk about Ferncliff, and ready to process what happened there. He suggests they touch base next week. She tells him to let her know if he has a cancellation. She wants to work through it as soon as possible – even if they have to use Morse code. Not-Doc asks why must she always bring that up? She says the other night, he was tapping, and he says he’d thought she moved past that fixation. She says that’s why she wants to do therapy; to get Ferncliff out of her head completely. The anniversary of her son’s death is also coming up. She thought she’d prepare for the emotions it’s going to bring up, and make it easier. Not-Doc asks her to forgive him. He doesn’t mean to be terse. He has a bug, and he’s out of sorts. He’ll make time. He’ll have his assistant check his calendar, and work her in.

Carly sees Kim, and asks how it’s going. Kim says, not great, and Carly asks if they can talk about Oscar.

Monica tells Drew treatments and cures for diseases once thought terminal, have advances every day. She’s a cancer survivor, and she’s going to make sure Oscar is too. She gives him a word of advice. Let the people he loves in. Let them help him, so they can help Oscar.

Cameron tells Josslyn that he just saw Oscar, and he didn’t say anything about breaking up with her. She asks what he did say, and Cameron says, not much. He was just acting weird. Cameron was working on his Catcher in the Rye paper, and Oscar gave him his. Josslyn asks, why? but Cameron doesn’t know and wasn’t going to ask questions. Josslyn thinks Cameron knows something. This all started at the community center. Oscar was acting weird, he and Cameron had a conversation, then Oscar took off. What were they talking about? What’s really going on?

Laura tells Lulu that Spencer has fully recovered, and is precocious as ever. Lulu says the Snapchats he sends Rocco and Charlotte are hilarious. Laura asks how she’s doing with Dante being away. She says the kids ask about him, but school keeps them busy. She misses him, but he’s away doing important work that he loves. Laura asks how Dante feels about her work.

Maxie tells Felicia she’s been through enough to no comment them into oblivion. She was too young to remember anyway. Felicia says kids pick things up, even when they don’t grasp what’s going on. Maxie says if Felicia is planning a trip to take her mind off the media circus, Mac should be going with her. Mac was her hero when it came to Ryan; let him be her hero now. They can take a trip when it’s actually about them spending time together. Felicia tells her not to think she’s getting out of it. It must be nice. My last real vacation was in 1987.

Nina explains to Curtis about Madeline leaving some significant things from her childhood for her. The necklace was in a pouch, along with a note, saying, this could mend a broken heart. She says it’s not just a pendant. It was important to her as a child. She would steal it, and pretend it was the locket from Annie. She talked to a jeweler, who said it looked like it had been a whole piece that was divided. Curtis asks if she thinks her daughter has the other half. She thinks it was her mom’s way of saying her child is out there and has the other half. He tells her there was no mention of a necklace, and Nina says, it was a long shot. Curtis gets a call. It’s from the second lab, and the results are in.

Curtis tells Nina that the second test confirmed a genetic match; it’s a certainty. Nina is breathless. Curtis tells her that Sasha grew up thinking the woman who raised her is her mother. It’s a big change for her too. Maxie knocks at the door, and Curtis tells Nina to let him know what the next move is. When he’s gone, Maxie asks if he found Obrecht, but Nina says, he didn’t find Obrecht. He found someone else.  

Carly tells Kim that Oscar broke up with Josslyn. Kim says, that’s the last thing he should have done. Carly asks if Kim hadn’t said teen romances don’t last, but Kim tells her that she said before she knew Josslyn, and how happy she makes Oscar. Carly says she feels the same way. He brought out the best in Joslyn, and she’s taking it hard. She asks if Kim has anything to share for Josslyn to have closure.

Cameron tells Josslyn that Oscar never said anything. Half the time, Oscar can’t stand him; the other half, he’s giving him a paper. Josslyn thinks Cameron is holding back, and protecting Oscar. Cameron says he’s not, and Josslyn says Oscar must be interested in another girl. Cameron says Josslyn is smart, hilarious, and really beautiful; there’s no one better than her. Oscar would be crazy to want someone else. She says he still broke up with her.

Drew sees Oscar, who jets the second he sees Drew. Drew asks him to wait. Drew wonders what’s going on, and Oscar says he’s fine. Drew asks why he’s not in school. Oscar says, what’s the point of school? Or anything else?

Lulu tells Laura that she and Dante had bumps in the beginning, especially when she revealed Nathan was Faison’s son. She didn’t think it through or think of the consequences. She did a follow-up on Faison’s other son, who turned out to be Peter. Laura says, her new boss. Lulu admits she likes working at The Invader. Laura says her work is important too; the public needs objective journalism, more now than ever. Laura mentions the Ryan Chamberlain series. Doc brought it up when they were in Paris, and said he was dreading the anniversary. Lulu says she didn’t realize. He’s been supportive about it, and shared some fascinating stories. Laura says, that’s new. He’s never been forthcoming about it. Lulu says, he is now. He’s given her insight only someone close to Ryan could have. She thinks it’s what will set her story apart from the sensationalistic pieces. Laura says it’s just like to be so generous, even when it’s difficult. Her husband is a special man.

As not-Doc studies the hospital map, Felicia asks if he has time for her.

Drew tells Oscar that he needs an education so he can go to college, and further his education. Oscar says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and Drew say, no one knows how long they’re going to live. You make plans for the future, and fight for it. Oscar says he’s not spending the time he has left behind a desk looking at the clock. When he puts it that way, I don’t blame him. He tells Drew that he’s there to tell his mother that he’s dropping out.

Cameron tells Josslyn, Oscar made a huge mistake. He’ll realize, and come back. If he doesn’t, it’s his loss. She tells Cameron it’s on him if he’s holding back. He hates seeing her like this, and she says, it’s no picnic on feelings side either. She doesn’t care why. She knows Oscar is wrong. Instead of figuring out why, she’s going to undo it. She asks Cameron to help her get Oscar back.

Kim tells Carly this is the first she’s hearing about the break-up. Carly says they should let the kids figure it out for themselves, but Josslyn is hurting. Kim wishes she had something to tell her to make it easier. He’s going through something personal, but that’s all she can say. Carly says, they’ll fall in love a million times by the time they’re their age. She won’t pry.

Maxie asks Nina if Obrecht had an accomplice. Nina says, no, and Maxie asks who he found. Nina says, her daughter.

Lulu says they’ve covered her marriage and career, what about Laura. What’s next? Laura says she’s settling in, but it’s strange without Spencer. She’s looking forward to going back to the hospital board. She has some new ideas for GH that she’s excited about. She’s glad to be home, and reconnecting with family.

Felicia tells not-Doc that he seems off, and asks if he’s all right. He says he’s a little under the weather. She says they can catch up another time, but he says he always has time for her. He suggests they go to his office, where they can have privacy.

Gregory tells Chase the thing Finn hates more than him is failure, Felicia tells not-Doc that the know the gruesome truth about Ryan, and Carly tells Ava to get the hell out of her house.

Below Deck

This season – Tahiti. We meet the new crew, and get a mini preview of what’s to come. I’m going to miss Chef Ben, but glad Kate is still chief stew. Kate tells us it’s long hours and hard work. A recipe for disaster.

The waves are huge. We have a new boat as well, My Seanna. Kate arrives first, and says the boat looks different on the internet. Captain Lee explains that hurricanes took a devastating toll on the Caribbean, and it will take a while to recover. In the meantime, he’s always wanted to see Tahiti. This time, there’s a chief steward, Josiah, and Kate is excited. Chef Adrian tells us that he has a passion to heal through the creative art of cooking. We see some of his creations, and they look fabulous.

Stew Caroline is stoked to meet a steward, since she’s never met one before. Bosun Chandler goes over things with the captain. He’s already hoping for a good reference. Captain Lee says the seas are bigger in Tahiti, and it’s reef central. Where they’re at is so remote, there’s no one to pull your ass out. He tells Chandler that he doesn’t like to micromanage. Deckhand Ross is taking a step down from being a bosun, because, Tahiti.

Kate goes over things with Josiah and Caroline. Josiah trained at butler school in England, and is a qualified butler. Everyone introduces themselves to each other and gets situated in their cabins, while I desperately try to learn their names. Not my forte. Kate thinks Adrian looks young and malnourished. In her interview, she says malnourished and chef shouldn’t be in same sentence. Deckhand Rhylee was a co-captain on a fishing charter, but wanted a change of pace.

Chandler’s father and brother are both in the field, and he says, it’s not just a job; it’s a career. He expects the best out of everyone, and says they’re all learning the boat together. The new boat is 180 feet, and Kate is excited, but she finds out things below aren’t that big. She says, it’s like dating Shaquille O’Neal and finding out he has a really small penis. Caroline thinks yacht crews are high schoolish, and you have to establish who you are right off the bat.

The boat gets a once over. Captain Lee thinks it’s going well so far with everyone getting along. Well, it’s only the first day. He introduces the first officer and engineers, who we never, ever see. He tells the crew there are three rules. Work hard, don’t embarrass yourself, and don’t embarrass the boat. If they follow those rules, they’ll get along fine. If not, there will be something extra in their pay envelope – a plane ticket home. In his interview, the captain says the crew has the credentials, but if they don’t deliver, they can give their soul to Jesus, because their ass belongs to him.

We find out Adrian’s father recently passed away, and they were very close. The provisions come in. Rhylee gets the attention of Ashton, who she thinks is a fine piece of man candy. Adrian says he’s a free flow artist, and wants to blow people’s minds. Chandler thinks the crew is amazing. Captain Lee tells Chandler that he has good talent. Kate is happy, since she has only one stew who lacks experience. During the first preference sheet meeting, and we discover the first primary will be Steve, the foam guy. He’s become a friend of Captain Lee’s, and we flash back to the last time Steve chartered the yacht. Kate says the foam party was like a malfunctioning car wash. She’s glad he’s returning. She knows his preferences, and he’ll get blackout drunk, so if they mess up, he won’t remember. His fiancé, Jen, will also be celebrating her 32^nd birthday, and he wants a romantic dinner, with the servers dressed as Cupid. Kate says she’s not wearing a diaper.

Ros has a four-year-old son, and he’s missed a lot, traveling to provide for him. Kate tells the crew that Steve is enthusiastic and likes alcohol, but has a lot of requests. He’s asking for a Polynesian picnic on a black sand beach. It’s not going to be tomorrow, since they’re stuck in the dock. The crew will have to entertain them. In her interview, Kate says Steve was a drunken handful last time, and with bad weather and being stuck, it’s a lot of extra work for her. Guests are always disappointed; it’s a lose-lose.

The next day, there’s a charter miracle – a blue sky. The crew puts the final touches on the boat. Kate says the guests aren’t the worst part. They leave, but she’s stuck with the crew. So far, so good though. Everyone puts on their whites.

Steve and the other guests arrive, and greetings and champagne commence. Kate gives the tour. Ooh, it is impressive. Steve remarks that his room has a desk in case he wants to work… nah. The stern is cut loose. Rhylee says being a female captain is kind of unheard of, and she has to prove herself in a male dominated industry all the time.

Steve discusses Jen’s birthday party. He’s brought 500 balloons that he wants the bedroom filled with. Kate tells him, no problem. The crew is full of hot air. The captain says leaving the dock is like a choreographed dance. Chandler says they’re sailing out of sh*tty weather, and into the horizon. Steve wants to be just on the bounds of sober, but not sober. I think that might require him to stop drinking periodically, so it’s probably not going to happen. Adrian says he likes to incorporate local dishes into his own cuisine. Steve wants to be dazzled. Adrian makes a beautiful tropical salad with tuna and swordfish. I’m in, and Steve pronounces it delicious; perfect freakin’ fish.

The boat has two feet on either side, and the captain says this is not where you want to screw up. In the Caribbean, there’s a hundred feet water before the shore, and it’s gradual. In Tahiti, you’re suddenly on a reef. Captain Lee says you couldn’t get a straight pin up his ass with a sledgehammer right now. Ha-ha! I missed his witticisms. He tells us in good light, you can see the reef through the water.

Steve gets excited over a door in the galley that you can open by pressing a button with your foot. He plays with this for a while. They drop anchor at a place Captain Lee can’t pronounce, so I won’t even try. In her interview, Kate says she likes Adrian’s naughty side. He grew up in St. Martin, which is the lawless Las Vegas of the Caribbean. It’s sex, drugs, and alcohol, and he’s into it.

Kate doesn’t want to put 500 balloons in the room, and would rather put one sleeping pill in Steve’s mouth. He’s also asking adults to wear diapers. The crew works on blowing up the balloons. Steve has a special gift for the captain, a shirt he wants him to wear at dinner. Steve doesn’t think Captain Lee is going to love it. Kate doesn’t either, and tells Steve that makes her love it a little more. Steve says, him too, and they laugh conspiratorially. We find out Ashton was a stripper, so he’s cool with not wearing much. Kate delivers the shirt.

Steve wears a crown like the one from the old Imperial Margarine commercials, and light-up glasses. Adrian is making deconstruct surf and turf. The shirt isn’t that bad. It’s like those graphic tuxedo T-shirts, except it’s a captain’s uniform. Steve says dinner is off the charts. Rhylee dresses Ashton in his Cupid outfit. He asked her to help, and she’s happy to do it. The next course is beef sashimi. The guests are thrilled. I salivate. Crab and lobster salad is next, but there’s mint wontons with that, and mint is not my jam, as Kelly Dodd would say. Captain Lee is loving life. Kate says she’s never seen him that happy with a new chef. In her interview, she says Adrian’s plates are beautiful and delicious, and he executes confidently and competently. She thinks he’s an alien.

Kate decides tinsel garlands should be added to Ashton’s costume. Adrian shushes Caroline, who interrupts his conversation with Kate, and in her interview, Caroline is like, you shush. And so it starts. Adrian brings the birthday cake upstairs, and Steve screams. Ashton looks like a cupid Christmas tree. A guest asks if there’s anything else in his diaper, like Twinkies. What? The captain thanks Steve for including him. Adrian does yoga, and Kate goes to bed.

On the second day, Steve got on a jet ski. And it was not good. He’s ready to roll. Caroline says he’s insane. He’s on vacay, and drunk from night before. She’s not getting a good feeling. Captain Lee instructs them to stay away from the reefs. Steve thinks the captain doesn’t trust his seadoing [sic] abilities. Steve won’t wear a life jacket, and takes off on the jet ski like a maniac. Kate says he’s like a wild man; he passed the boat twice in ten seconds. I’m not getting a good feeling. Chandler explains that it’s usually at the guest’s discretion whether or not they wear a jacket, and doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I dunno about that when they’re drunk. That sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Ross thinks it’s their job to keep the guests safe, and I’m with him. Ross tries to give Steve a jacket, but he’s not having it. Ross tells Captain Lee that Steve is refusing to wear it, and the captain tells Steve that he has to. Steve says, life is short, and he doesn’t wear life jackets. The captain tells the deckhands, when Steve comes in, pull the plug on the jet ski. In his interview, Captain Lee says hitting the water at 70 mph is like hitting a brick. You can break bones or your neck, and it’s not up for discussion. The deck crew dropped the ball, and it’s deadly serious.

This season, waterfalls, lots of drinking, Rhylee hooks up with Ashton (maybe), Chandler needs to micromanage, Rhylee and Chandler butt heads, Caroline refuses to eat sh*t, Chandler gets his ass chewed out by Captain Lee, Kate makes the captain choose between her and another crew member, a man goes overboard, the captain gets choked up, and someone has one hour to leave.

Fire dancing and flower crowns. We’re not in the Caribbean anymore. – Kate Chastain, chief stew

Star

Andy didn’t want to run anymore. Carlotta told him that Cassie was still gunning for him, and it’s not about the money, it’s about pride. She said he could stay with her until she figured out how to keep his stupid ass alive.

Mateo wanted Take 3 to do a hot song for a soundtrack. His real interest though, was producing a movie starring Noah and Star. Carlotta had to tell them Star is pregnant.

Maurice was looking for an artist for his streaming service, and Cassie wanted a strong black Mandingo. She wanted Noah. Maurice tried talking to Noah about the new business, but Noah wasn’t doing business with his shady ass. He was done giving grown men second chances.

Derek thought Alex should slow down, since she was taking every gig that came along since the plane crash. Miss Ruby was acting weird, and Derek knew something was up.

Carlotta told the girls about Mateo wanting the new son. Alex said it wasn’t a drive-thru, and he couldn’t just order up a track. She told them to read the script, and start writing. Simone didn’t think Star was ready to have a baby, and the baby would be messed up like their mom did to them. The Gravity Media gossip site outed Star, and she was sorely pissed at Mateo. Mateo told her, gossip drives traffic. He said she should use the attention to work for her; it’s what a real star does. In response, Star threw up on him.

An officer found evidence of rape on Miss Ruby’s clothing, but she refused to have a rape kit done. Derek asked Alex for to stay with her while he went looking. Miss Ruby and Alex shared a joint, and Alex told her about the fan next to her on the plane dying because Alex was taken off first. Miss Ruby said it wasn’t her fault, and Alex said neither was what happened to her. Miss Ruby said she’d lived there a long time, and earned the right, paid for the right, to have a safe home and he just took it. Alex told her he’s not taking a damn thing. Alex took Miss Ruby to the hospital.

Cotton wanted to know who Star’s baby daddy was, but Star wouldn’t say. Cotton said she’d find out, and Star said let her know who it is when she did. Cotton thought the baby should know who its father was; she never knew Jahil. But Star told her, fathers leave. She wanted to make sure not to pass her mess on to her baby.

Simone accused star of making it all about herself, and that the pregnancy was making her more of a bitch. Miss Lawrence aka Miss Bruce told the girls to get moving on the track per Carlotta’s orders.

Noah wanted to know if the child was his. He didn’t want to be like his pops, leaving his kid out in the cold. Star told him he was off the hook; it wasn’t his.

Jahil’s case was cold, and Cotton went to Cassie for help. Cassie promised she would, but we know that’s not going to happen. Cotton didn’t know what to tell her son. Carlotta said Jahil would want her to move on. Carlotta was honoring his memory by living his dream, and didn’t want Cotton to do anything crazy. Cotton said she’d already talked to Cassie about helping, since Carlotta wouldn’t.

Mateo had a press conference to reveal the movie project, Black Ivy starring Noah. It was also a chance for Star to answer questions, and she ended up calling the press reps nosy bitches. She said it was none of their damn business, and suggested they ask their mommas who their real daddies are. She stormed out, and Simone said she’s like a bulldozer. Star said she bulldozed them out of foster care and into their careers. She does it so Simone and Alex don’t have to.

Noah met with Andy, who said he owed people some money. Noah couldn’t help, but told Andy he knew Andy could make it to the other side and would be all right. The other side was probably a poor word choice.

Simone wanted to audition for Black Ivy, telling Mateo she didn’t just relate to character, she was the character. She also told him that if he came after her sister again, she’d check his ass so fast, he’d never forget it.

Cassie met with Noah, at her new venue. She explained she wanted him to be the artist in residence, and told him, be a king; let it be his castle. He said he wasn’t looking for change, but she said let change come to him. He envisioned the club as being active, with him as the reigning royalty, but told Cassie it had to go through Carlotta. He also suggested Andy, telling her that Andy just got back in town. Oops.

Carlotta told Cassie stay away from her child. Cassie insisted that she didn’t mean to hurt them, and called Carlotta high and mighty. Carlotta told Cassie to get her own life. Cassie said, tell Andy, what’s up. Carlotta was so busy being angry with her, she didn’t see the real reason Jahil is gone was right under her nose.

When it came time to record the new track, Star’s was having trouble with her voice and wanted to throw in the towel, but Simone told her to bulldoze, and Take 3 got it together. Carlotta told the girls it takes a village, and they have everything their mother wanted for them. The video for the track was superb; the set, the choreography, their look, everything. Carlotta told Mateo, manager or not, they were her artists, and they’d move how she saw fit. The new single was going to their Take 3 album.

Simone video chatted with Angel. She said she’d always love him, but needed to stand on her own. She wanted a divorce.

Alex told Derek that she knew he wanted to fix it, but it wasn’t in his hands. He said that’s what Miss Ruby told him. Let the police be the police, and let God be God. He cried on Alex’s shoulder.

At the studio, alone, Carlotta talked to Jahil again. This time, he appeared to her.

Star knocked on a door. Noah opened a door, but it was his father, not Star like they wanted us to think for a moment. Bobby told Noah that he was living in his car until it broke down. Noah asked what that had to do with him, and Bobby said, not a damn thing, son. Noah said nothing, but opened the door so Bobby could come in.

Jackson opened another door to find Star on the other side. He said he got it. She was lonely and he was there. He understood she didn’t want him. She showed him the sonogram.

Queen Latifah’s hair this week included an interesting very straight bob; brown, but with face framing black. My favorite though, was an auburn shag. It wasn’t anything that unique, but it looked gorgeous on her.

Next time, Brandy aka Cassie sings, and Cassie snatches Carlotta’s wig off.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Kameron and family are learning terms of cooking an Espanyol. In her interview, she says she wants her kids to be able to communicate outside of their own bubble. They’ve been taking Spanish since they were babies. If you don’t know how speak Spanish, you can’t talk to half the world. I’ve been picking it up from watching 90 Day Fiancé, and probably more quickly than some of the fiancés. She tells us that Cord is super critical of Sparkle Dog, but she’s going to keep proving that she’s a great mother, wife, and entrepreneur. Cord talks about the time Kameron almost set the house on fire cooking. They make cupcakes, and Cord challenges Kameron to eat a cupcake in one bite. She comes close.

D’Andra discusses college with stepson Koen, who’s on spring break. She says she’s his stepmother, but also his friend. After her failure with Ketan – we flash back to that – she has a chance to start over, and try again. She’s hoping the bonds with her stepsons fill the void in her life, left by not having her own kids. Dee arrives. It’s been a month since she and D’Andra have spoken, which D’Andra says is typical when they have a fight. D’Andra tells Koen that they’re having a business meeting. Dee suggests he put earplugs in.

D’Andra wants to talk about separating companies. She’s at a crossroads. They try to negotiate, but when they talk, they’re not on the same page, and it’s been stressful for her. D’Andra says she’s tired of being angry and stressed, and doesn’t want to feel this way toward her mother. Dee says she’s been bitter too. The more she’s thought about it, she’s seventy-seven, and does she still want to continue battling? I need to stop here, and say I’d love to know where this woman goes to get work done, and who does it. You would never guess she’s seventy-seven, and that includes her neck. I’m sure genetics is playing a part here, but she looks amazing. She says D’Andra is all she has, and tells her to keep building the company. She doesn’t need it; she’s giving D’Andra 100%. D’Andra wonders, why, after all this time? it’s a shock. Dee says she’s shocked too. In her interview, Dee says she gave D’Andra the keys before, but knew she wasn’t ready. She came to the decision that it wasn’t worth losing a relationship with her only child. She tells D’Andra that it felt like a thousand pounds was lifted. All the worry, anger, and stress is off her shoulders. In her interview, Dee says it can go one of two ways. It can go great, or fall flat on its face. D’Andra wants to continue Dee’s legacy. Dee believes they can have a great relationship. In D’Andra’s interview, she has hesitance. She wants to see the signature on the dotted line first. I don’t blame her. Haven’t we been here before? Dee says her lawyer will draw up the papers, and they hug.

Stephanie takes the boys to a private dance class. She’s had a hard time getting Cruz interested in anything, but if he wants to learn hip-hop, it’s cool with her. She learns a combination with them. In her interview, she says doing things with the kids clears her head, and helps with depression. She sees the excitement in the kids’ eyes. This excitement turns into a fight over a shirt. Stephanie says when the kids are naughty, they get in line for their daddy. We see a clip of Travis being the kid whisperer. She has a hard time with discipline. It’s her nightmare that when Travis goes to Harvard, the boys take over, and everything goes to hell. She tells them they’re supposed to be best friends.

LeeAnne talks to her dog, Carly, a beagle who is too funny. She’s staring straight ahead as LeeAnne talks, and you can just see her thinking, shut-up, shut-up.  Kameron calls, and LeeAnne says she’s looking at wedding stuff and feeling her eyes crossing. Kameron is organizing a dog party. They’re going to paint their dogs – on canvases, not their bodies. She’s also inviting the kids. LeeAnne thinks she scares children just by her presence.

LeeAnne asks Rich about getting a new tux for the wedding, but he swears he hasn’t gotten married in the one he owns. She asked if he comes down the aisle or is he there already? He says, usually when he gets married, he’s already there. In her interview, LeeAnne says Rich has no problem getting married, but he better stay married with her. She asks how many are on his list. He has thirty, and she thinks they should cap it at two hundred, because they’ll remember people as time goes on. She’s thinking a quarter million, and Rich says he just ruined the chair. I laugh. I’m sure it’s fun to spend that much, but we spent five grand, including the honeymoon, and people are still talking about that party.

LeeAnne wants D’Andra to help, but doesn’t know how much she wants to be involved. She tells Rich that she apologized, and we flash back to that. She didn’t make excuses, and said she did it, sorry, it won’t happen again. In her interview, she says she was D’Andra’s maid of honor, and it feels sad that she’s not being a part of it. When she doesn’t address it, she’s not done with it. Rich says, she’s down the road. LeeAnne says she’s texted twice, and gotten no response. Rich tells her to call. She does, and gets voicemail. LeeAnne leaves a message asking if they can grab lunch. In LeeAnne’s interview, she says she genuinely doesn’t understand why D’Andra isn’t returning her texts or calls. She tells Rich that she thought they were sisters. Now, she feels like she has no family. Rich says she’ll be fine; it’s stupid girl stuff. LeeAnne starts to cry, and Rich puts his arm around her. He tells her it will settle out.

Cary is going to check on the house. Mark thinks they can move into part of it soon. Cary is glad. Living there after her parents get home would be like living in a museum with the owners there, watching you. She says when she was growing up, if she put things in the wrong spot, she’d be disciplined for it. Cary brings out some photo albums, and we see some old pictures. In her interview, she says she felt like she couldn’t do anything right. She couldn’t please her father, and it’s always been a problem. Mark’s dad died from Alzheimer’s when he was young, and he regrets it. She’ searching for a way to forge a relationship and bond with her father. All of her cousins live in Denmark. They’re her father’s relatives, and connecting to family is important to him. Cary thinks if she reconnects with her relatives in Denmark, she can reconnect with him. It sounds like they never had a connection in the first place though.

Kameron puts her dog in a stroller, telling us, little dogs have little legs and don’t go very far. In her interview, she explains that there are a lot of painting parties, but she wanted to do something different. She found Adam, a painter on Bluprint, who teaches painting dogs specifically. This is pretty cool. She shows her dog the paintings. She organizes food for the humans and the dogs, and has also hired a string quartet to set the mood. She’s heard classical music is good for children and dogs. Except when they show up, the quartet is a trio.

D’Andra wonders if orchestral music inspires you to paint dogs better. Maybe LeeAnne rapping would be a better choice. Kameron tells D’Andra that she was an art major. This brings back her college experience, and painting was the most challenging art form she had. LeeAnne come in next. All the dogs are excited to meet each other. In D’Andra’s interview, she says she needed time to reflect, and strategy for today is to ignore LeeAnne. How mature. I suppose I should expect it though, considering how well her mother has taught her to deal with conflict.

Brandi decided to give someone a chance to help her. She wasn’t helping herself or her family, so she hired nanny Allison. She says, finding the right person is difficult, but once you know it’s right, you wonder where they’ve been forever. She says it’s scary, but she’s also excited. She’s picking up the girls, and going to the painting party. Bruin is sleeping, and staying home. She says Sugar doesn’t get along with other dogs. Kind of like LeeAnne.

Kameron thinks family time is important, and wanted to do something where they could bring their children. Stephanie doesn’t bring Biscuit, since she can’t handle kids and dogs at the same time. Cary’s Zuri flirts with Cruz. Those are kids, not dogs.

Brandi picks up the girls. Brooklyn wants to go home the second she gets in the car. She claims she’s overheated, but it looks like a full-blown tantrum. In her interview, Brandi says, thank God for the nanny. If she had to drive with these two tiny bitches and the baby, she’d drive off a cliff. Omg, me too. These girls are obnoxious. Brandi says she’s in the worst mood ever.

Adam tells them, just have fun, and starts the instruction. Brandi says art is not her thing, and she’s a horrible artist. Kameron likes her own art the best. LeeAnne says her dog already took a dump. I’m dying. It’s next to the quartet trio. I love this dog. LeeAnne eats a dog biscuit that looks like a human cookie. Stéphane tells Brandi that she’s going to lunch with Kameron and D’Andra. Brandi says if she wants to be friends with them, good luck with that.

LeeAnne asks to talk to Cary on the side. She says Cary claimed she’d be honest if the girls were talking behind each other’s backs, No one has said anything about her? Cary says, not exactly, and LeeAnne wonders why Cary hasn’t come to her. Cary says she’s not a gossip, but if someone asks, that’s different. No, that is not what she said. She said if anyone talked behind another’s back, she was going to let that person know. She tells LeeAnne that Brandi thought she might be in Kameron’s ear. We flash back to Brandi saying Kameron has no mind of her own, and LeeAnne is in her ear. LeeAnne loves how Brandi blames her for everything. It’s okay for her to feel the way she does, but Kameron is her own human. Cary gives LeeAnne credit, but thinks she deserves some herself. In her interview, LeeAnne says Cary just narc-ed on Brandi. They should add throwing under bus to the Olympics.

Some of the paintings are pretty good, especially the ones the kids are doing. Brandi checks in with the nanny, and gets ready to leave. Of course, now her girls want to stay. The mom group leaves, and LeeAnne says this is the level of noise at her house; it was like birth control on steroids. She says at fifty, nothing is popping out anyway. Kameron says, miracles happen, and LeeAnne tells her that would not be a miracle. In her interview, D’Andra says she and LeeAnne have become strangers, and she feels like she lost a friend. LeeAnne doesn’t get the distance. D’Andra is shutting her out, and it hurts. She needs a conversation to get to bottom of it.

D’Andra meets LeeAnne on a bench. In her interview, LeeAnne says D’Andra called her the day after the painting party for a one on one. LeeAnne says she texted D’Andra after her meeting with Dee. What happened. D’Andra says she didn’t tell anyone. She’ll believe it when the paperwork is signed. She’s been down that road, and she’s not holding her breath. It makes LeeAnne sad that she can’t help D’Andra; it’s frustrating. In her interview, LeeAnne says she apologized, but D’Andra didn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t care how LeeAnne feels.

LeeAnne tells D’Andra she doesn’t know what’s going on, and it’s shredding her. D’Andra says when LeeAnne talks about things, she only tells the good. LeeAnne tells her to ask the right questions. D’Andra asks if she’s getting married. In her interview, D’Andra says LeeAnne always deflects back to her, like with bringing up the $200. I roll my eyes. LeeAnne says she is, and D’Andra asks when. LeeAnne tells her it was going to be in November, but they might change it to spring. D’Andra knows LeeAnne must be worried because Rich has been married before, and won’t stay married. LeeAnne says the fear is there, but she thinks he will. D’Andra asks if LeeAnne thinks he’s faithful.

In her interview, D’Andra insists LeeAnne has been backpedaling about getting married from the beginning. I might be wrong, but it sounds like D’Andra is digging for something that’s not there, and trying to make LeeAnne afraid. LeeAnne says, as many nights as Rich is home, it would be highly unlikely. In her interview, D’Andra says her first husband cheated, but they led separate lives and she let it happen. Oh, that explains it. She’s projecting. LeeAnne says, no; they are not leading separate lives. In her interview, LeeAnne says, no other couple is more rock solid. What D’Andra is saying is accusatory and inflammatory, and she’s pissed. She tells D’Andra that she and Rich don’t make each other do anything. D’Andra asks if she should step back, and LeeAnne says just check in with her now and then. D’Andra thinks there’s something LeeAnne isn’t telling her; something happening. For the thousandth time, LeeAnne tells her, nothing is happening.

Next time, Stephanie gets vaginal rejuvenation (the topic I can’t get away from), LeeAnne confronts Brandi, an adult prom, and LeeAnne tells D’Andra that she doesn’t want to hear about separate lives again.

🌇 And…