What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Spencer wonders what’s in the box, and Ava asks if it’s ticking. Laura says, after everything they’ve been through with his uncle, he doesn’t need to open that.

Josslyn tells Carly to call Diane and make the deal. Testify against Sonny. Carly says she doesn’t know how much of the conversation Josslyn heard… Josslyn says, she heard enough. It’s a no-brainer. Carly doesn’t belong in prison, but Sonny does.

On the phone, Sonny says he wishes Nina were here. She should be here with her daughter. She tells him not to worry; she’s not giving up. She’s going to do whatever it takes to be with the people she loves.

Alexis walks into her office, and Esme is saying, she’s going to get fired. Gregory says, it’s not that bad, but she says, and on her first day. She hyperventilates, and he tells her, take a breath. Alexis asks, what’s going on?

Trina shows her ID at the desk to get her lab results, and the nurse leaves to get them. Taggert comes in, and Trina runs to him and hugs him.

Stella says, DNA results? For Trina? Portia says, Trina decided she wanted to know who her biological father was, so she had her DNA tested against Marcus’s and Curtis’s. Stella says, and now the results are in, and Marshall tells Portia and Curtis to get their butts over to the hospital, and be with Trina. Curtis says, sorry about dinner, but Marshall says he’ll save Curtis a bone. Just go. Curtis says he can’t believe it. In minutes he’ll find out if he’s going to be a father.

Trina asks how Taggert got here so fast, and he says, she called; he came. That’s the way it is, and that’s the way it’s going to be. In fact, he doesn’t mind having a little you and me time. She says she called Curtis a few minutes ago, and the nurse just went to get the results, so they should be good. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says, all over the place. Relieved that it’s over; terrified that the results won’t be what she’s hoped for. He says he hears that, and she says, mostly, she’s worried about the future. She knows they said nothing is going to change… He says, nothing is going to change between them, and she says she wants to believe that, but it happens to people all the time. They think nothing’s going to change, then in a heartbeat everything is different. He says, that’s people, not us, and she says, that’s what she keeps telling herself, but it’s not realistic. The truth is, those results could change everything.

Stella says she just wants Curtis to know no matter what those results say, they all love him and they’re here for him. She and his father would be happy to come with him if he needs the support. Curtis says he appreciates it, but he and Portia will be fine, and Portia says she doesn’t think Trina would want her there. Curtis says, Trina’s her daughter. This is a potentially life-changing day for her. Portia says, and whose fault is that? Trina called him, but didn’t call her. She thinks that speaks for itself. Curtis says he knows they have some things to work through, but one day, Trina is going to look back and be glad her mama was there for her. Portia says, okay, and Stella says, if either of them need anything… Marshall says, they’re going to be here, holding down the fort, just a phone call away. Curtis holds out his hand, Portia takes it, and they leave.

Carly tells Josslyn, yes, Sonny hurt her. He hurt all of them. She’s not saying they forgive and forget, but they move past it; they move on. What she definitely won’t do is have someone else pay for her mistakes. Sonny comes back, and says he’s sorry to interrupt, but he has to be somewhere. Can Michael tell Willow that he’ll see her tomorrow? Michael says, will do, and asks if he’s going to see Nina. Sonny says, yeah, and tells Carly to take care of herself. He leaves, and Josslyn says, he’s still choosing Nina over his own family, but Carly says, it’s his fiancé. Josslyn says, if Carly doesn’t make this deal, and actually goes to prison, he gets Donna full time, with Nina. Why is she still sacrificing herself for him after everything he’s done? Michael tells her, enough. This is mom’s choice, and they need to respect that. Josslyn says, and he’d know all about making choice that hurt innocent people, wouldn’t he? Carly looks at Michael.

Esme tells Alexis that she’s so sorry. She so screwed up. Gregory says, it’s hardly a disaster, and Alexis asks if one of them will tell her what’s going on. Esme says she’s so sorry, but Alexis says, not her. She just got five million text messages in the last half hour. What happened, and why is Gregory here? Gregory says he’s here because he was made aware of a minor snafu, and thought he might be able to help put out some fires. Alexis says, fires, plural, and Gregory says, it seems Esme inadvertently forwarded an email from a source to the global address book. Alexis says, opening them up to being scooped and making their source vulnerable? and Esme says, it was an accident. She thought she was just going to be answering the phones, and she’s doing everything that’s expected of her, but all she can think about is that Ace is staying with people who are trying to take him from her… Gregory says, Esme was already pretty frazzled by the time that email came in. He worked with the staff, and everything’s handled. It’s all fine. Alexis says, really? and Esme says, really? Gregory says, really, and Alexis tells Esme that she needs to be able to count on her to handle sensitive information responsibly, but it’s her first day, so Alexis is going to trust that she can, and that she’ll learn from her mistakes. Esme says, so she’s not fired? and Alexis says, not today, but you never know what tomorrow will bring. Clock out. Esme says, thank you. She’s so sorry, and promises Alexis won’t be sorry… at least not more than she already is. Esme runs out, and Gregory asks if Alexis thinks she’ll show tomorrow. Alexis says she’s calling a temp agency.

Spencer says he feels like he should at least know what it is. Everyone else’s gifts were innocuous enough. Ava says, open it or don’t, but whatever it is, don’t keep it. Laura says, it’s up to him, when there’s a knock at the door. Laura answers it to Anna, who says she’s sorry. She got held up at GH. Laura introduces her to JB, and Anna says she saw his name on the invitation to this… whatever get-together. She asks Laura if she even wants to know what she missed, and Laura says, Victor has found a way to be present from beyond the grave. JB says, please, take a seat, and Spencer says he’ll open this later. Let’s get this over with. JB puts the video back on, and Victor says, and now for his other nephew, Nikolas Cassadine, or should he say… Laura asks JB if Nikolas was invited to this. Does Victor know where her son is? JB gestures to the screen, where Victor is still saying Nikolas’s full name. He says, Nikolas came to his aid when he needed him. While Nikolas’s family mourned his death, they helped each other build new lives. Sadly, hard times finally caught up with Nikolas, but when the going gets tough, you need a home away from home. He trusts Spencer will take good care of his gift to Nikolas until Nikolas returns. JB pauses the video, and hands Spencer an envelope. JB puts the video back on, and Victor says he’s saved perhaps the greatest gift of all to his formidable opponent, special agent Anna Devane. Oh my dear Anna. They’ve both been in this business long enough to know eventually their sins catch up with them. So he leaves her the truth.

Taggert asks why Trina thinks everything is going to change, and she says, the only way nothing is going to change is if that test says he’s her biological father. He says, if not, he’s still her father and she’s still his daughter. No test is going to tell them how they feel about each other. She tells him, it’s not about what the test says; it’s about what blood says. She knows they’re not going to stop loving each other, but they’ll both have to live with the fact that she has another father, who she’s missed out on twenty years of getting to know. He asks if she regrets spending all that time with him instead, but she says, of course (🍷) not. He says, then what’s the problem? and she says, if it turns out that she and Curtis… She’s concerned the more she gets to know Curtis and his relatives, and the closer she gets with them, the more she’ll hurt Taggert. This is kind of a non-issue, since she would have gotten close to them anyway because Curtis married her mom.

Alexis asks if Gregory can explain to her what really happened with that email that Esme sent to the entire planet. What are they going to do about the fallout? How did he manage that? He says, the editors were divided on the best way to handle the leak, so while the staff tried to reach her, and they did try… She says she was at her homicidal uncle’s will reading. She couldn’t take any calls. He says he’s had some experience with sources in the past, and fortunately, this one was communicating with them through an anonymous email account. They refused comment to anyone who called to follow up, and legal watchdogged to make sure everything was minimal damage to The Invader. All in all, a great way to spend the evening. Alexis says she appreciates that he came in to handle it, and he says, his pleasure. She says she admits she’s a little surprised to see him, and that he’s been ghosting her.

Sonny hugs Nina, and she says, it’s kind of him to come and keep her company. He says he knows she’s worrying about Willow, so here he is, and she thanks him. She says she just keeps thinking if she stays away now, she might be able to get Willow back later, but she doesn’t want to talk about this subject anymore. She wants to talk about something happier. He asks what she has in mind, and she says she does have something in mind, and that’s a little bit of a clue. He says he thinks he knows what it is, and she says she has some ideas about their wedding, and she’d like to share them with him. She knows he really doesn’t care about that. Grooms usually don’t care about things like this. He says, you know what he cares about? Spending his life with her. She says, knowing he cares about that is what keeps her going.

Carly , what the hell is going on? and Josslyn suggests Michael tell her. Michael says, mom’s got enough on her plate right now. They can figure this out on their own. Carly says, or they could just tell her, when her phone rings. She says, it’s Pilar. She has to take this. If this isn’t over when she comes back, she wants to know. She leaves, and Michael says, Josslyn can be as pissed off at him as she wants. She thanks him, but says she doesn’t need his permission, and she doesn’t want to be mad at him. But he… He says he knows what he did, but they don’t need to involve mom. She’s got enough going on. She doesn’t need anything else right now. Josslyn says she doesn’t want to drag mom into what Michael is doing to Dex either. Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t turn Sonny in.

Gregory tells Alexis that he’s sorry for going radio silent. He thought about reaching out many times. She asks why he didn’t, and he says, when he was diagnosed with ALS, all he could think about was not wanting to be a burden to anyone. Even though she urged him to tell the truth, he felt like he was putting this massive burden on her. When he didn’t hear from her, he assumed that’s how she felt; that he’d scared her off. That is until he got that last text message. She says, the reason he didn’t hear from her is she was afraid he’d think she was disrespecting his boundaries. Then she talked to her daughter – she didn’t tell her any details – and she told Alexis that there’s a big difference between inserting yourself in someone’s life when you’re not wanted, and simply reaching out to let him know she’s thinking about him. He says he convinced himself he could go it alone, but then her text made him realize he was wrong about that. How much he needs a friend.

Marshall tells Stella to eat this gumbo before it gets cold, but she says she doesn’t even want to think about food right now. He says, don’t think, just eat, and she says, as they speak, Curtis, Trina, and Portia are going through something momentous, and need the support of their family. He says, they’re supporting them by giving them the room they need to deal with this issue, regardless of what happens. Then they’ll come back to them. She says, Curtis might come to him, but her nephew wants nothing to do with her. He’s still upset that she ran away from his wedding. Marshall says, she may have run and hid, but at least she came back. Took her long enough. And here she is, letting his gumbo get cold. She says she appreciates what he’s trying to do, and she knows he thinks Curtis will forgive her, but she wasn’t there for him when he needed her the most. She’s just afraid she lost him forever.

Taggert says, when he sees Trina, he sees that little baby who he used to hold in his hands and sing to sleep at night. He sees that girl who demanded he take her training wheels off her bike. The same little girl whose skinned knee he was patching up when she crashed moments later. They laugh, and he says, when he looks at her, he sees her whole life – the good, the bad. He sees parts of her life he wasn’t even a part of. She’s always going to be here; he points to his heart. She’s always going to be a part of his life, and he’s always going to be a part of hers. Even if she ends up being part of another family, that doesn’t mean she’s not his. He puts his arm around her, and Curtis and Portia come out of the elevator.

Anna says, so that’s it? Victor wanted to taunt her one last time? Are they finished? JB says, not quite. He puts the video on, and Victor says, finally, to their illustrious mayor, Laura Collins. Oh my dear, dear Laura. If she’s watching this, it means she’s won. She’s the sole survivor of the great game they began all those decades ago. So he leaves her to live the rest of her life in peace – Laura looks surprised – with his respect and admiration, knowing she was indeed a worthy adversary. He lifts his glass, and says, congratulations, taking a drink. I almost want to cry at how fair he is here, and JB says, that concludes the reading of Victor Cassadine’s last will and testament. He leaves them to their grief. Spencer nearly chokes, and Laura thanks JB for everything, and for coming to the apartment. She appreciates that a lot. She gets the door for him, and he leaves. She says, so, and Ava says, so Spencer, open the envelope. Spencer says, this is a private family matter, and she’s no longer… Laura says she’d like to know what’s in it too, and he says, okay. He opens it, taking out a document, and says, it’s in Russian, so anybody? Laura says she thinks Anna can speak Russian (which is very different from reading it). Anna is daydreaming, and Laura gets her attention and asks if she can read Russian. Anna says, a little, and Spencer gives her the document. She says, it looks like a deed to a property. Right here’s the address. She shows Spencer, and says, sorry she can’t be of much help. He thanks her, and Laura asks if she can get Anna something. She thinks they could all use a stiff drink at this point. Anna says she has to get going, and Ava asks what she thinks this truth she’s inherited is about. Anna says, it’s just a mind game, isn’t it? Victor’s attempt to get her to obsess about something… drive her to distraction, whatever. Ava says she knows that song well, but Anna says she’s not worried about it. She doesn’t think any of them should take a gift from Victor at face value, and Laura says, they know better. Anna thanks her, and leaves. Laura wonders why Victor would leave Nikolas property.

Josslyn says, now that Michael’s left Dex out to dry, their mom can defend herself against the insider trading charges, but he says, they don’t even know if the Justice Department is going to make her an offer. Josslyn asks why Carly has to wait. She could bring the offer to them and save herself. And Drew, once Michael gives her the smoking gun. The recording Dex risked his life to make. The one that makes sure Sonny goes to prison for the rest of his life.

Nina tells Sonny that she wants to set the date far enough away so Willow’s recovered, in case she wants to go. She knows it’s a long shot. He says, whatever she wants, they’ll do. Anna walks in, and he says he’ll be right back. He says good to see her, and she says, him and Nina too. He says he knows she just got back from answering questions about Greenland. They need to catch up. Anna says she’d like that, and Nina says she’s sorry; she has to do this. She hugs Anna, and says, Anna risked her life to save her aunt so her aunt could save her daughter. For that, she’ll be grateful to Anna forever. Anna says, it was nothing, but Nina says, it was everything.

Michael says he has his reasons for not wanting to use that footage against Sonny, and Josslyn asks how those reasons compare to their mother going to prison, something he has the power to stop. Give the video to mom, and let her take it to the Feds. Carly comes back with TJ, and says, look who she found. TJ says he was just coming to find Michael. He has an update about Willow. Michael asks if the transplant is finished.

Spencer says he looked up the address; it’s in Chechnya. Laura says, the Cassadines are originally from Russia, so maybe it’s an old home of theirs? Esme comes in, and asks if the will reading is over. Laura says, they just finished, and Esme asks what Ace’s favorite blanket is doing here. Why isn’t it with him? Where is he? Spencer says, he’s asleep, and she says, Spencer put him down, without his blankie? She can’t leave him alone for a second. She goes to find Ace, and Spencer says, can you believe her? Laura says, she just got Ace back, then she had to leave him again for work. It’s just hard on a mother. Victor said Nikolas had helped him, and they know Nikolas gave him shelter, then Victor returned that favor. Ava says she got Windymere in the divorce, so maybe Victor is using this as a replacement, and Spencer says, in Chechnya? Ava says, a guarantee she won’t visit, and Laura tells them, Victor said, when the going gets tough, you need a home away from home. She’s wondering if this is where Nikolas has gone to hide.

Trina says, they’re still waiting, and Portia says she hopes it’s okay that she’s here. She can leave if… Trina says, she should stay. She’s sorry. She should have called Portia. Portia says, that’s okay. She was with Curtis when Trina called. Curtis says he moved his things back in tonight, and Trina asks if they’ve worked things out. Curtis says, one day at a time, when the nurse gives the results to Trina. Trina says she guesses it’s now or never.

Trina opens the envelope and reads. She tells them, it says that Curtis is her biological father, and Taggert says, it’s okay, a bunch of times, and hugs her. Trina says she wanted to know the truth, and now she does, but she wants to make one thing clear. She cares about Curtis, and she knows they have to figure out where they go from here. Whatever their relationship is, wherever it goes from here, she needs Curtis to know she’s not looking for a replacement father. And she hopes he can accept that.

Marshall says, Stella has raised Curtis to be loving and trusting, and have faith in his opinions, to hold himself and others to high standards. But she also raised him to be forgiving. As upset as he was with Portia, he still decided to move back in here to work on his marriage, and it was Portia’s secret Stella was holding. She also held Marshall’s secret. If Curtis can forgive him and Portia, he can definitely forgive her. Stella says, he really thinks so? and Marshall says, girl, I know so.

Alexis thanks Gregory for admitting he needs a friend. She needs a friend, and she’s glad they’re friends. He says, it’s mutual, and she promises to follow his lead regarding his illness, and hopes he’ll just let her be a part of it while he’s going through it. He says, deal, and she says, awesome. Thank you. I notice a piece of art that looks like toilet seat on Alexis’s bookcase, and she also thanks him for handling Esmegate. He says, it was nice to feel useful, and she says, he misses it. He says, of course (🍷) he does, and she says she was expecting a little pushback, but go on. He says he really liked volunteering here. It was exciting and gave him some purpose; he missed it… and her. She asks if she can make an observation, and he asks if his objection ever stopped her. She says she knows he wanted this job, but didn’t take it because he was sick, and if people knew he was sick, they’d think he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Tell her if she’s wrong.

Ava says, if Victor has Nikolas safely tucked away in Chechnya, why reveal it here? and Laura says, but if Nikolas was aware of the place already, maybe he went there without Victor knowing. Esme comes back, and says, Ace is sleeping safely with his blankie. Spencer excuses himself, and leaves. Laura asks Esme to sit down, but she says she’s been sitting all day, and it wasn’t exactly a good day to begin with. Whatever it is, please just tell her. Laura says, they might know where Nikolas is, and Esme asks if he’s in Port Charles. Laura says, no, but if this information is what she thinks it is, it’s possible Nikolas is holed up in some remote part of Chechnya. Ava says, or not. There’s no proof that Nikolas is there. Laura says, but it’s the best lead they’ve got. Maybe they can find him, and finally bring him home.

TJ says, Willow’s bone marrow transplant is complete, and Michael says, thank God. What are the next steps? TJ says, Willow will remain in the hospital to give the bone marrow cells time to create new cells in her body. The process can take some time. Michael asks, how long? and TJ says, every patient is unique. Sometimes as little as two weeks, on the other side, sometimes six or more. Once engraftment has occurred, Willow can go home, but they’ll want to track her recovery in case complications arise. Willow’s body is essentially rebuilding its immune system, so she’ll be highly susceptible to infection. They want to monitor that. Another possible major complication is graft versus host disease, which is when the patient’s body rejects the donated cells. Michael says, it’s a lot to take in, but TJ tells him, try not to worry. Willow’s getting excellent care, and they’re optimistic she’ll make a full recovery.

Anna asks how Willow is, and Sonny says, receiving her bone marrow transplant, thanks to her. Anna says she’s happy to hear that, and notices two serious guys in suits standing by the door. Sonny asks if she’s okay, and she says, probably not. Hursley comes in, and says, Agent Anna Devane? She asks how she can help him, and he shows her his badge, saying, she’s under arrest.

Ava tells Laura, even though things ended badly between them, she wants Nikolas back with his family, but Laura can’t go on some wild goose chase to Chechnya. It’s dangerous. Laura says she’s been in worse places, and Ava says, Nikolas has managed to vanish more than once before. He’d find someplace no one would think to look, not some old family property. She just doesn’t want Laura to set herself up to be disappointed, or shocked. Laura says she appreciates that, but she can’t just sit around here wondering. She has to see for herself. If there’s even a chance she could find Nikolas, she has to take it.

Spencer sits on his bed looking at the box. He opens it, and as I thought he says, the doves he was going to give to Trina. Uncle Victor saved them for him, but why? He lifts up the cotton they’re on, and finds a key.

Gregory says, it’s true he was afraid to take Alexis up on that editorial board position. He didn’t want anyone to find out he was sick. She says she didn’t tell anyone, and she’s not going to tell anyone, so they’re over that hurdle, and he says, and he wasn’t sure he was up to the job. She says, is he kidding? He just proved to her and the entire staff that he’s more than capable of getting in the thick of things. And more important, he proved it to himself. He asks if the position on the board is still open, and she says, funny he should ask. As luck would have it, she never got around to filling it.

Stella says, Curtis means everything to her, and Marshall thanks her for being there for his sons when he couldn’t be. She thanks him for stepping up when she wasn’t strong enough to face Curtis herself, and he says, that’s what family does. They help each other out. She says, when we’re at our best, and he says, and when we’re at our worst. That’s when we need the most help, right? She says, what she needs right now is some of his gumbo. He says, let’s partake, and asks her to say it. They join hands and she says, dear Lord, thank You for our family.

Curtis tells Trina that he understands, and he wants her to know the last thing he’d ever try to do is take her father’s place. He cares about her a lot, so from here on out, he’ll just take her lead. She says she appreciates that, and Taggert says, she could do worse than having two dads, especially one as good of a man as Curtis. He’s going to leave them to work this out. He leaves, holding back tears. When he gets in the elevator, he does that waving thing people do when they don’t want to cry, then punches the wall. He weeps, sinking to the floor.

Michael thanks TJ, who says he’s just happy to finally deliver some good news. Michael asks if he can see Willow, and TJ says, of course (🍷). If they need anything, he’s here. He leaves, and Carly says, full recovery. Michael says, they still have to be careful, and Carly says, they’ll follow all the guidelines. At the end, Willow is going to be okay, so whatever’s going on with Michael and Josslyn, just end it. Because nothing’s more important than being here as a family. Josslyn says, she’s absolutely right. They’re going to do what’s best for the family. Right, Michael? Michael looks at her, and leaves.

Anna asks what she’s being arrested for, but Hursley says he can’t tell her anything until they’re in a secure location. She says she has a right to know why she’s being arrested, or she’s not going with him until she finds out. He says he’s sure she clocked the agents in the room. She says she expects there’s more of them stationed around the hotel to prevent escape. She’s flattered. He says, it would be best if she came voluntarily, but if not, they can do this the hard way, and Sonny asks if she wants him to call Diane. Anna says she’s good, and tells Hursley that she looks forward to finding out what the truth is. He starts to read her rights, but she says she knows them, and he handcuffs her. She gets in the elevator with Hursley and the agents, and the elevator doors close.

Tomorrow, Dex isn’t sure Josslyn’s plan is going to work; Portia asks what made Curtis decide to stay; Valentin believes Laura has something that belongs to him; and Anna says she’s taking the Bureau down with her.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion – Part 2

Lala lambasts Sandoval, and James boos him. Sandoval says, he’s taking accountability, but Lala’s not, and Lala asks, what did she do? since his comment makes no sense. Lisa says, sometimes Lala is aggressive, and James tells Lisa not to stick up for Sandoval. Lisa says she’s not, and James gets up and walks out. He says he’s not listening to this sh*t. Just f***ing die. Sandoval calls Lala a narcissist, and she says, he has an ago the size of this building. They call each other morons, and Sandoval says, Lala pulled her IUD the second she found out Stassi was pregnant. I don’t know if I totally missed what led to that, but I don’t think so. I think Sandoval is just yelling about random stuff. James comes back, and apologizes to Lisa and Andy, who asks him to just stay in his f***ing chair. Because we all need a break, Andy says he’s switching gears. Lala said she and Randall were splitting at last year’s Reunion. He asks when they last spoke face to face, and Lala says, never. The other day, he brought Ocean up the driveway because the nanny was sick, and Lala just grabbed her quickly. Andy asks if it was by design that Ocean wasn’t on this season, and Lala says, Randall sent a legal letter, saying she’s not allowed on camera. Not even pictures or videos. Andy introduces the LA Times article about Randall, citing his casting couch, drugs, and a ton of lawsuits. He says, Randall’s spokesperson denied the allegations, and Lala points out that Randall’s spokesperson was also Harvey Weinstein’s spokesperson. Andy asks if she was shocked, and she says, yes and no. Her DMs had been flooded with disturbing allegations, then the LA Times article came out. Andy asks if Lala didn’t meet him at an audition, but she says, she met him when she was a hostess at SUR. He sent his assistant to speak with her. He was a fan of the show, and asked if she had a manager. She went for an audition, and surprise, she got the part. Andy asks if that’s when they started sleeping together, and Lala says, it was September of 2015. Lisa reminds Lala that she said she let him hit it the first night, and we flash back to Lala saying that, and saying she got a car the next day. Lala says, it was the first time they went out, and Andy asks if she felt like she had to, but she says she didn’t. She was from Utah, and didn’t realize Hollywood worked that way. James says, Sandoval slept with Kristen to get on a TV show. He’s 40, and still making the same mistakes. Lala says, she has a different view of life now; if it’s too good to be true, it is. Andy says, sobriety will do that, and asks how long she’s been sober. She says, almost four years, and they break to eat. Everyone leaves, but Schwartz stays behind and does push-ups. Okay… Sandoval goes to Raquel’s trailer, and they hug, since they’re still not kissing on camera. She asks how he’s doing, and he says, it’s rough out there. It got emotional right off the bat, and James is literally how he knew James would be. James is focused on everything he does; Look at him blinking. James is out of control, Scheana is groveling to Katie because she wants to be back in the group, and Lala doesn’t give a flying about either of them. Raquel says she saw everything, and Sandoval says, they’re making them out to be pathological liars. Raquel says, they haven’t lied about anything except the affair. In the makeshift cafeteria, James says, they can go live in a yurt in the desert together now, and Lala says, Sandoval is going to be off doing things like he always has. Ariana says, and when the homewrecker makes demands on the relationship, she’s not going to be so cool and chill. Raquel clearly only knows what Sandoval is telling her.

In the trailer, Raquel says, in watching what was taped, it looked like Sandoval and Ariana had a solid relationship. We flash back to Scheana saying, they were intimate and in a good place. Sandoval shakes his head, and says, it literally went from him asking Ariana something simple like, should he wear these pants? and her saying no; to her literally (apparently his favorite word of the moment) saying, he’s so good at fashion, he should wear what he wants. Raquel says, it felt like he wanted to keep working at his and Ariana’s relationship because they never broke up. Sandoval says, he should have done it earlier, and Raquel says, you think? He says, Ariana is going to unleash on her, but he’s glad she came. Raquel says her entire character is being questioned. She went through a transitional phase, and the pendulum swang [sic] too far the other way. This is her wakeup call. He says he believes in her, she says she knows, and Sandoval tells a producer that they need a real break where they’re not being filmed. Raquel says, that would be nice, and they both go outside. The producer says, the cameras are up when any two people are together. If anyone needs time to themselves, they can have it, but not if they’re together. Sandoval argues like an idiot, and the producer says, it’s part of what it is. Sandoval whines, legally, they should get a break, and the producer says, they can have a break, but they’re filming lunch. Big baby Sandoval says he’s going to call a Lyft; he needs a break from filming. The producer tells him to go eat lunch, and Sandoval practically stamps his foot, and says, stop filming. He doesn’t want camera in his face. He wants to talk to Raquel off-camera. He doesn’t feel relaxed, and they have to watch what they say. He’s in a delicate position.

Ally joins the group, and Sandoval checks his hair. Andy welcomes Ally, and asks about meeting James at his show with Sandoval and the Most Extras. He asks if she saw Vanderpump Rules before meeting him, and she says she went down the Bravo rabbit hole during covid. Andy asks if anything from James’s past bothered her, and she says, for sure, but meeting him was different. It gave him a chance to show her who he is. Andy says, Raquel had broken their engagement only six weeks before James met Ally. Did he really think it was long enough to get over a five year relationship? James says, everyone is different, and Ally says, they’d planned to take it slow, and had a lot of conversations. Andy says, Raquel revealed some awful things James said about her parents, and we flash back to that. James says, it’s not a proud moment, and he takes it back. Andy ask how it made Ally feel, and she says she didn’t like it. She doesn’t think the word fat should ever be used to insult someone. James says, Raquel’s parents said nasty things to him. Her mom talked about his penis size. Andy asks if it was in a favorable way, and he says, she was asking if he was circumcised and wondered what it looked like. Grandma Buttons was at the bloody table. Andy says, James was easily triggered by Raquel this season, and we flash back to James throwing the drink at Schwartz. Andy asks if Ally ever thought James wasn’t over Raquel, but she says, not once. He was triggered because he felt betrayal in losing a friend. Andy asks if she worries about James’s drinking becoming an issue, but she says, not at the moment. She doesn’t like it when he’s drinking a lot, but she’s not drinking as much right now, and neither is he. Andy asks why she’s not drinking, and she says she thought she needed a break, which she does sometimes. James says he’d never go back to the boy he was two and a half years ago, and Sandoval says, they had an ongoing job in Atlantic City, and they brought James in. He became belligerently drunk with no shirt on, and got kicked out. The manager said James had smacked a waitress on the ass, and he’d had her sign a form that she wouldn’t sue them. James lost them the job. James says, the Toms show up and get drunk. His DJ business makes tenfold what they do. Lala says, it’s a sensitive topic, but at the end of the day, both Toms drink heavily, and have no say on James’s drinking. Sandoval says, he doesn’t smack girls on the ass, and Ariana says, no, he f***ed her friend. James calls Sandoval, a mustache pr*ck p*ssy ass bitch; a f***ing mustache worm bitch. He walks off. Again.

A producer says, as you were, and Andy says, Ally told James that he needed a therapist; why? She says she thinks everyone should see a therapist, especially men, and especially James. James says he met a nice therapist, and it’s going good. Andy asks if they’re helping with James’s anger, because it doesn’t look like it, and Ariana says, there are extenuating circumstances today. Andy says, they spent a week in Cancun celebrating Scheana’s wedding, but Scheana revealed she and Brock were already married for over a year. Why did they keep it a secret? Scheana says, they wanted to celebrate their love privately, and she’d wanted to get it going because of the green card. They only married for them. Andy says, Katie said Schwartz wanted to be friends with Brock over her, and she says, he was prioritizing someone he sees three times a year over her. Schwartz has known Scheana a long time, but she didn’t feel Schwartz was close enough to Brock to consider his feelings over hers. Schwartz says, Katie has a long history of diminishing his friendships, and Katie says, Schwartz wants to be friends with everyone. He’s a serial killer’s wet dream, since he makes friends with strangers. Andy says, Lala pulled Ally aside, and talked to her about dealing with James’s temper. We flash back to that, and Andy asks Ally if she ever felt like telling Lala and Raquel to stay out of her relationship. Ally thinks at the time she was open to hear what they had to say, and looking back, it feels like they  were being protective. Lala says she was triggered (WOTD), and she didn’t want what happened to her to happen to someone else. Lisa says she’s loving Lala’s emotional side. She doesn’t want to see Lala’s angry side. Lala says, life was a lot this summer, and she was hypersensitive. She felt like an idiot and a fool, and wanted to baby Ally. James says he knows how much Lala has gone through, and how strong she is. As a woman, she’s conquered a company and a baby, and dealt with a lot of sh*t. She knows he’s not that guy at the Canyon Club. Andy asks, what happened at the Canyon Club? and we flash back to Raquel telling some of the others that James was arguing so loud with Ally, security had to escort him out. James says, the club was noisy and he was tired, and he shouted to Ally that he wanted to go f***ing now. Security was immediately there, and said he couldn’t be shouting. Ally says, they weren’t in a screaming match. No one saw it, and she doesn’t know why Raquel feels the need to narrate. Sandoval says, they’d been arguing, and James grabbed Ally’s arm or wrist. It was the second time, and he got kicked out. James says, the first time, he was with all of them. What was Sandoval doing? Making out with Raquel in the back? Andy thanks Ally for joining them, and she leaves.

Andy says, they’re going to discuss the fallout from Sandoval and Raquel’s affair, and they’re bringing Raquel in. Because of the restraining order, Scheana has to leave, but before they go, he wonders what’s the latest? Scheana says, the court date is the 29^th. Raquel claims Scheana punched her, and she can’t speak about it now. Andy asks if anyone else thinks Scheana punched her, and Lisa says, maybe slapped her, but Katie says, look at Scheana’s fingernails; not possible. Andy asks Sandoval what he thinks, and he sighs heavily, says he wasn’t there, and sighs again. Lisa asks why it’s so difficult, and he says he’s between a rock and a hard place. Ariana says, then he should keep his mouth shut, but Tom says he wants to tell the truth. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Good one! He says he was there when Scheana was on speaker, but Ariana says, he ran back into TomTom, and Scheana said pushed, not punched, but Sandoval tells her, Scheana said she punched that bitch in the face. It’s 100% what Scheana said. Lala says, they talked on the phone, and it’s not what Scheana said. Sandoval says he f***ing heard it, and Scheana tells him to keep his f***ing mouth shut. Andy says, Scheana and Raquel were close until the truth came out. They were on Watch What Happens Live together the night Scheana found out. He asks if she thinks they’ll ever be friends again, but Scheana says, never. Andy asks if she knew something was going on with Raquel and Sandoval; she’d said she was suspicious. Scheana says, she heard things Lala said, and what Katie had seen, and started to suspect. She had lunch with Ariana, and they discussed it, but Ariana didn’t think there was any truth to it, and said they’d never do that to her. Ariana says, Scheana came to her respectfully about it, and she appreciated it. She knew Scheana wouldn’t come to her about it lightly because she cared about the two of them. Andy says, Scheana had heard Sandoval told Raquel that he and Ariana were in an open relationship, and we’re shown unseen footage where Scheana is telling Ariana, while she was sleeping, Sandoval and Raquel were in the hot tub. He told Raquel that he and Ariana were in an open relationship, and started coming on to her at Coachella. Sandoval protests that he never said that, and Ariana says, maybe he should stop hanging out with a liar. She brings up Sandoval coaching Raquel like he tried to coach her, and Sandoval says, if anything, Ariana coached him. Ariana says, he needed it. Andy says, Raquel had something for Scheana that she’s not allowed to give her in person, so he has it.  

In his personal interview with Raquel, Andy says, she and Scheana have to stay 100 yards apart, so they won’t be interacting. He asks how Raquel feels, and she says she feels regret about filing the restraining order. She’s taking measures to get it dropped. She spoke to her lawyer, and he’s filing a request to dismiss it. She shows Andy the paperwork, and says, the request for dismissal is being filed today. Back at the Reunion, Andy says, Raquel is in the process of dropping the restraining order, and everyone applauds. Ariana says she’d rather Rachel didn’t; none of them need to be around her. Lala says she’s glad for Scheana’s sake, even though she wanted to fight. The court system is a bitch, and she’s glad Scheana can be present with her kid. She cries and says, it’s taken a toll on Scheana. Sandoval – who should just stay quiet – says he gets it. Scheana says, having this betrayal of two best friends is heartbreaking in itself, but to throw this on top of it, when she did nothing but take care of Raquel. She gave Raquel a home when she had nowhere to go. Raquel was the sister she never had, and for Raquel to do this, it’s taken a toll on her. She cries, and Bambi Raquel looks blankly at the screen in her trailer. Scheana says she hasn’t been completely present for her daughters, and they’ve been affected by her emotions about it. Raquel was someone who she loved, and she knew would never do something like that. She’d told Raquel, please don’t do anything to change the friendship, and Raquel promised she’d never do that. Andy reminds Scheana that she’d said she trusted Raquel in bed with her husband when they were in Vegas. We flash back to that, and Scheana says, Raquel crashed with them one night in Vegas, although she slept in the middle. She trusted Raquel with everything. At this point, even I start to cry. I can’t even fathom how I’d feel to find out a close friend had been lying to me this way, and for so long. Sandoval mumbles that he’s sorry, and in her trailer, Raquel says she’s thinking she should have written a personal note to Scheana to go with the paperwork. More regrets are unfolding. Sandoval says, he lied about something for 7 months, and it spiraled out of control, but that doesn’t mean he’s been fake all the years Ariana’s known him. It wasn’t malicious. Ariana tells him to watch what he says; it was malicious. He says, the intention wasn’t malicious, and Ariana says, he’s done it before. He says she’s always been unapologetic throughout their relationship, and she says she heard him say he didn’t care about Scheana. Scheana says, she asked him about the affair and he denied it. She would have been doing Ariana a disservice if she hadn’t asked. Lisa says, Sandoval would never tell Scheana before telling Ariana, and Andy says, it’s time for Scheana to go the appropriate distance so Raquel can come out. Sandoval says he needs to leave for a moment, and Scheana says, before she goes, she has something for Andy. Ten years ago, at the Season 2 Reunion, he said, by 2023 she’d have an album. We flash back to that, and she gives him a 12-inch gold press of Good As Gold. She says she’ll be back at the end, and leaves. Sandoval wanders around the parking lot.

During the break, I download Good As Gold to one of my playlists because, why not?  

Andy wants Raquel to sit between the Toms, but it’s a hard no, including from Ariana. In their personal interview, Andy asks Raquel how she feels about seeing the group, and she says, a little nervous. But it’s important for her to take accountability for her actions, so she’s here to do that. He asks her to explain how the relationship started; the first kiss or spark of emotion. Raquel says she and Sandoval had been friends for a while. He was always somebody who was in her corner and rooted for her. It got more romantic after the girls trip. He made her feel heard and seen, and she’d never felt that before. We flash back to her crashing guys night, and his smile is glaringly obvious when she walks in. Like, you don’t smile like that for just anybody. Andy asks if she never felt that with James, and she says, never with anyone. Andy asks if she thought there would be a path forward with Ariana, and she says she thinks she was living in her own reality, hoping it would work out. Andy says, it’s incredible how many signs Ariana ignored, like The Abbey, and Sandoval not coming back from the barbecue. Ariana rode for Raquel every time. Sandoval said he felt like Ariana didn’t want to know. Is that what they told themselves? Were they in denial? Raquel says, it seemed that way. Ariana never pressed or confronted Sandoval. From what he told her, Ariana didn’t question him, and believed what he told her. Andy says, it sounds like she’s blaming Ariana, and she says, at the time, that was her mindset. Now she knows that Ariana did want to know. It was deceitful, and she’s ashamed. Andy says, Ariana called Raquel and confronted her. What was the conversation like? Raquel says she felt pain from Ariana, and Ariana begged Raquel to tell her when it happened. At this point, she and Sandoval just wanted to get their story straight. Sandoval felt Ariana would be more hurt if she knew how long it had been going on, and Andy asks if they were going to truncate how long it had been going on. Raquel says, yes, and I’m surprised she knows what truncate means. Andy says, Ariana wanted specifics on the phone? and Raquel says she told Ariana the truth, and Ariana thanked her and said, Sandoval never would have told her the truth. Andy asks if she and Sandoval prepped for the Reunion, and Raquel says, they’ve talked about how to approach things. He asks how she feels about seeing everyone in a group setting, and Raquel says she’s preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best. Spoken like a true beauty queen. He asks how she feels about seeing Ariana, and she says, scared.

Andy says, Raquel is here and ready to join them. Scheana is 100 yards away. We see Scheana in her trailer, watching, and Andy says, Ariana hasn’t seen Raquel since she found out. How is she feeling? Ariana says, not great, and he asks how Sandoval is feeling, but Sandoval says he doesn’t know. Raquel walks to the set accompanied by some weird music, and Schwartz takes out a bottle of Xanax. Ariana says, it’s funny that Schwartz is taking it, and James wonders why he has a pill bottle on hand. Andy steals the bottle, and someone suggests he pass it around, but he gives it back to Schwartz. Schwartz says he only takes it about once a month, and Lisa asks why he’s taking it now. He says he’s nervous, and Raquel hits the stage. Ariana won’t even look at her, and Sandoval stares straight ahead. Crickets are heard, and Sandoval hangs his head.

Next time – Part 3 – Ariana says she cried in Raquel’s arms, and Raquel thought she’d go f*** her boyfriend; Raquel compares her and Sandoval’s affair with Lala sleeping with James, causing some uproar; Katie says, Raquel’s a c-word and Sandoval’s a drunk; James thinks Raquel flirting with Schwartz is incesty, dirty and weird; Sandoval cries, and says he’ll always love Ariana; and Ariana says she can’t think of two worse people.

🍨 Eating My Feelings…

After you’ve recovered from these awful people, come back tomorrow for a kinder, gentler soap and tea. Until then, stay safe, stay pushing in your chair when you leave the table, and stay knowing the difference between inserting yourself in someone’s life when you’re not wanted, and simply reaching out to let them know you’re thinking about them.