What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly says, this cemetery has been here for 100 years, and the idea of uprooting this kind of history is a violation . And the only reason the Beautification Guild is targeting this cemetery is that the citizens who have family members buried here, are primarily working class. None of those families have the kind of financial resources to fight this injustice. Reporter Tara says, unlike her, accompanied by her friend, who happens to be the CEO of Aurora Media, and Drew says, if she’s asking if Carly has his support, that’s a yes, without a doubt. Tara says, but this issue was up for debate 10 months ago. Where were they to make their arguments then, and tell them why should the residents should listen to them now?

Willow is looking at her own lab tests when TJ asks if everything is okay. She says, everything’s good… No, actually things aren’t so good. She was looking at her latest bloodwork, and the numbers keep moving in the wrong direction. He says he’s sorry, but not surprised. What is she going to do about it?

Ava tells Ryan, Windymere isn’t always a safe place. In fact, it can be downright treacherous if you don’t watch your step, and Esme… she failed to watch hers. She seriously doubts anyone will ever lay eyes on Esme Prince again. He clenches his fist, and she leans forward, saying, for somebody who can only communicate by blinking, he certainly has a lot of rage in his face right now. Or is that just her imagination? No. He doesn’t seem seriously upset about this Esme news, but one can never be too careful. She gets up, goes to the door, and says, she’ll speak to his brother about another neuro-exam for him, just to be sure there’s no chance. She leaves, and he says, Ava, my love, what have you done to my daughter?

Esme skulks around Kelly’s in her hooded cloak, but disappears when she sees Trina coming. Trina sits down outside, and calls Ava. She says she just got a table outside of Kelly’s. She’ll order Ava a coffee. See her soon. Esme watches.

Nina sees Curtis at the hospital, and they hug. She tells him, she was just headed to the 10^th floor to fill out paperwork confirming the MetroCourt will be the location for next year’s Nurses Ball. He says he just left there, stealing away precious time with his lovely fiancé, and she says, the MetroCourt is also a fantastic place for weddings, in case he and Portia haven’t locked down a location yet. He says, running the MetroCourt clearly agrees with her, and she thanks him. She says she’s getting a handle on it… she thinks. Despite the constant pushback from Carly and her army of supporters.

Sonny walks into Pozzulo’s, and Michael says, hey dad, look who we found in your freezer, which is just as funny the second time. Carver says, these three were threatening to call the cops, and Josslyn says, Dante would want to be a part of this. She’s calling him. Michael tells her, hold on. Sonny might deserve it, but he doesn’t want to put Dante in the position of arresting his own father. Josslyn says, Dante would do it in a heartbeat if he knew Sonny hired this freak to torture Dex with knives.

Carly tells Tara that she didn’t pay for her mother’s cemetery plot, or pay the maintenance fee. That was all done by her best friend Jason Morgan, who’s no longer with us. Drew says, Jason was his brother, and in the process of settling his estate, the notice the city sent notifying him of moving Virginia Benson’s grave wasn’t forwarded to her daughter. Tara says, that makes sense. Had Carly been paying regular visits to her mother’s gravesite, she probably would have found out about the Guild’s plans. I’m not a huge Carly fan, but I’m less of a fan of eminent domain, and it’s stupid to expect someone to come from upstate New York to Florida regularly to visit a grave. Carly says, just because she’s late to the battle doesn’t mean her cause is any less valid. The only reason the city wants to move this cemetery is because it wants to protect other areas from commercial development. It’s the same old sad story of the haves protecting what’s theirs at the expense of the have-nots. Tara thanks them for their time, and says, they have enough, telling the cameraman, it’s a wrap. She thanks them both for bringing this to her attention; it’s going to make for a very compelling segment. Carly asks if she knows when it’s going to air, because the sooner it does, the more pressure the city is going to face. Tara says, it will air on tonight’s newscast, but she feels she needs to warn them, there are many influential people who are invested in this project, and aren’t about to take the objection lightly.

Josslyn says she doesn’t know where Sonny found this sicko, but there’s a bag of knives in the freezer. This so-called chef was going to use them to torture Dex. Michael says, so that’s how Sonny’s claiming to protect their family? Sonny already lost him and Josslyn; what about the rest of his family? He’s sure Donna and Avery are too young to understand torture, but what does Sonny think Dante and Kristina are going to think? Does he think they’d thank him? Sonny says, Josslyn and Dex were on their way out. Michael should go too. By the way, Diane woke up, and she identified her attacker as a woman. Josslyn still thinks they should call Dante and let him know what Sonny did to Dex, but Dex says he already told her that he didn’t want to get the cops involved. So can they just get out of here please? He’s not feeling so hot. Josslyn says, she’s sorry. His boss was going to torture him, perhaps even have him killed, and Dex is sticking beside him. She grabs her jacket, and leaves, Dex following, and then Michael. Sonny glares at Carver, and says, what’s with the knives?

Nina tells Curtis, she’s not naïve. She knew by keeping Carly’s half of the hotel, Carly was going to be against her, and there was going to be resistance from the staff. He asks, so what wasn’t she ready for? and she says, Sonny’s children, specifically Josslyn. Nina knows she’s Sonny’s stepdaughter, but she sets the emotional toll for Avery and Donna, and she’s made it very clear she can’t stand Nina. He says he gets that. He knows what it’s like to fight against a determined young woman who’s convinced you’re in the wrong. She asks, what’s going on with him? She thought things were great between him and Trina. He says, they were… until he tried to help.

Still on the phone, with Esme lurking in the background, Trina leaves a message for Josslyn. She says, just checking in. Did Josslyn find Dex? She’s at Kelly’s. Hit her back. She gets up, and Esme ducks back. Ava joins Trina, and they hug. Trina says she got Ava a coffee, and Ava thanks her, saying, she’s sorry she’s late. She was at Spring Ridge, and lost track of time. Trina asks what she was doing there, and she says she went to see Ryan Chamberlain. Trina asks why Ava would put herself through that when she just got out of the hospital, and Ava says, there was a time not that long ago when Ryan was stalking her, and he used a hook to kill somebody, just like one was used to attack her. So she wanted to see for herself that he was still immobile, and not faking it. She needed to be sure Ryan wasn’t her attacker all along. Trina says, and? What did Ava find? Esme continues to listen.

Willow tells TJ, it’s only a few more weeks until she’s in her 2^nd trimester, and then the baby will be developed enough to safely begin her treatment for leukemia. He says, right, and in the meantime, she’s putting a huge strain on herself, acting like nothing is wrong. Her schedule would exhaust anyone, let alone a pregnant woman with leukemia. She says, thank you for your opinion, Dr. Ashford, but he says, that’s just it. He’s not speaking to her as her doctor; he’s speaking to her as her friend. And to be perfectly honest with her, the choices his friend is making are scaring the hell out of him.

Ava tells Trina, Ryan was in his wheelchair, unable to move, except to blink yes or no. His condition is unchanged. Trina says she gets why Ava wanted to check, but now that she has, can she please take it easy? Ava nearly died, and Trina doesn’t know what she’d do without her. Ava tells her, the doctors say she’s healing well; she has no intention of relapsing. Her phone rings, and she steps away. Josslyn shows up, and Trina asks if she found Dex. Josslyn says she found him all right, and Trina asks what that means. Ava comes back, and says, Diane Miller told the cops that her a attacker was a woman. Esme listens more intently, and Josslyn tells them, Sonny said the same thing. Lucky for Dex that Diane knew her attacker was a woman, because Sonny blamed Dex, and they all know what happens when Sonny thinks someone is guilty. Ava says, Dex helped save her life, and Josslyn says, not that it mattered to Sonny. Ava thanks Trina for the coffee, and says she has to run. She has to take care of something, and it looks like the two of them could use some time alone. She leaves, and Trina asks why Josslyn looks upset. What happened? Josslyn says, Sonny is even worse than she thought.   

Curtis says, after Ava’s attack, he thought it wasn’t safe for Trina to work at the gallery alone, especially after her classes at PCU. So he suggested Trina work at The Chuck. It’s a great facility with a strong security unit. Ava agreed, and she made the arrangements. Silly him thought because the Chuck was so prestigious, Trina would be thrilled. Instead, it all blew up in his face. She says she thinks Trina is lucky to have such a supportive, loving future stepfather who’s willing to step in and save her from herself, and he says, there’s no chance Nina is a little bit biased? Nina says, no, and they laugh.

Sonny says, Carver never talked about using knives on Dex, but Carver says, when Sonny hired him, Sonny knew he was an experienced professional. (Please. After his total fail?) He uses knives because he’s found they make people talk faster than any other method, and Sonny wanted a confession. Sonny says he wanted the truth. He didn’t want a made-up confession from Dex because he wanted to get Carver to stop cutting him. The third victim, Diane Miller, told the police it was a woman who attacked her; that makes Dex innocent. Carver says, lucky for Dex, but Sonny says, lucky for Carver. He was going to cut Dex in Sonny’s name without his knowledge. Sonny has a problem with that, and he doesn’t like problems.

Michael knocks on Dex’s door, and Dex asks what he’s doing here. Michael asks to come in, and Dex says, he’s the boss. He’s surprised Michael would show up in person.  That’s not the best way to hide he’s working for Michael. Michael says, that’s over. Dex doesn’t work for him anymore.

Willow tells TJ, all she wants is to give this baby the best chance to be born 100% healthy. The whole reason she’s keeping the truth from Michael is because she doesn’t have the strength to fight with him about it. She knows he’d insist on her getting treatment right away. She doesn’t want to fight with TJ either. TJ says he’s sorry for pressuring her. He told her that he would support her, and that’s what he’s going to do. She thanks him, and they hug. Nina passes by the doorway, and sees.

Trina asks what Josslyn means by Sonny was worse than she thought, and Josslyn says, Sonny decided Dex was responsible for the attacks, and was holding Dex in his restaurant. She has her phone, and could have videoed what she saw, but it was more important to rescue Dex. What she should have done was called Dante. She was witnessing a crime in progress. She had the perfect opportunity to get Dante there to arrest Sonny. Trina asks why she didn’t, and Josslyn says, Michael was there, and she didn’t want to get her brother involved. What’s even stranger is, Dex – the victim – didn’t want to get the cops involved either. Esme is still listening, every once in a while taking a peek at them.

Ryan closes his eyes, and Ava comes in as he starts moving around. She says, aha! She knew it was too good to be true that he was a motionless vegetable. She saw it; he can move. He says, he can talk too, and jumps up, grabbing her by the throat. He says, and she’s gonna walk him out of here, as his hostage. She says, he’s been faking it this whole time, and he says, he was just waiting for the right opportunity. Now that she’s killed his daughter, he’d say that time is now. She says, what daughter? and he says, Esme Prince; his flesh and blood. She says, of course (🍷). It makes perfect sense. She was just as sick and twisted as he is. He says, she killed his daughter; his little girl. She says, no. He murdered her daughter Kiki. His daughter just tripped off the parapet, which is more than fair. He says he doesn’t care about fair; he wants revenge. And he’ll get that after. She says, after what? and he says, after he loves her one more time. He kisses her, and she kisses back, putting her arms around him. He opens his eyes, and no surprise, it’s all in his head, but how would he know Esme tripped?

Sonny tells Carver, he called Selina Wu and told her they’re not a good fit. Sonny won’t be using him as an interrogator anymore. Carver says, it’s up to him. His body of work stands for itself. Sonny says, he and Selina speak on a regular basis, so if Carver disappoints her – he whispers – he’ll know about it. Ava comes in, and Carver walks out without another word. She says, he was in a hurry to leave, and Sonny asks what she’s doing here. She says she’s here to put in a good word for an employee of Sonny’s. Dex Heller? He’s the man who saved her life.

Nina watches TJ and Willow for a moment, then leaves. She says, well, well, well . Who are the cheaters now? TJ tells Willow that he’s sorry for coming down so hard on her. It’s only because he cares about her so much. She says she knows, and it means a lot. She can’t disagree with anything he said, but there’s just no other choice she can make. She knows what it’s like to lose a baby. She still visits Jonah’s grave on a regular basis. She can’t lose another child. TJ says, she’s a fighter. He has total faith she’ll beat this, and he’ll be by her side, all the way. She thanks him, and says, that means everything to her. They hug again, and TJ leaves. Willow looks at her watch, and heads in the same direction as Nina. Nina is looking at her phone as Willow walks past, and she asks if Willow got some good news.

Michael hands Dex a check, and Dex says, fifty thousand. Michael says, that’s severance, plus a bonus for hazard pay. Dex says, the job’s not done. He didn’t get what Michael wanted. Michael says he hired Dex to take Sonny down. He never intended for Dex to die in the process. Dex says, he knew the risks. He was infiltrating a criminal organization, and that’s a dangerous proposition. Michael says, it sounds like Dex was more realistic about who Sonny was than he was. As many times as Michael has been angry at Sonny, or disappointed, or wanted to take him down, he guesses he was naïve to who Sonny really was. He thought Sonny lived by some code. Never in his wildest dreams did he think Sonny was capable of torturing someone with a knife. It’s just beyond the realm. He didn’t understand the risks he was asking Dex to take, but now that he does, the job is over. Dex says he can’t accept that. Did he get lucky today? Of course (🍷). But they can use that to their advantage.

Carly tells Drew, the first time she was at this cemetery was at Virginia’s funeral. She was a mess. Jason handled the arrangements. When she realized he’d picked a spot this close to the ocean… You can still feel the ocean breeze. He says, absolutely, and she says, the perfect spot for her mother’s resting place. She should have done more. He says, like what? and she says, for starters, she should have been on the paperwork. Then she would have known about the potential move. She could have been part of the original fight against this change. He says, it’s not often he’d use her own words against her, but what did she just say to Tara? That even though she’s starting late, it doesn’t make her cause any less valid. She says, Virginia was a good woman. Terrible taste in men, but she was kind, loving, and way more forgiving than Carly. She deserved so much more than life gave her. She deserved a more attentive daughter. Carly knows she can’t change the mistakes she made as a teenager, but as an adult, she can make sure Virginia’s grave isn’t dug up; she deserves that. And she damn sure deserved a better husband than Frank.

Sonny says he appreciates Ava’s two cents, but he’ll make up his mind about who he works with. She follows him into his office, and says, it’s more than her two cents. All her doctors at GH agree Dex saved her life. Josslyn found her, and called 9-1-1, but it was Dex who realized she was bleeding out. And if he hadn’t acted like he did, she would have died. He tells her, Josslyn said the same thing, and for Avery’s sake, he’s happy Dex helped her out. She says, then he can see why she’s concerned about the young man’s welfare, and Sonny says, Dex is in no danger from him. She says, that’s good, but she has to wonder. Is that because Sonny trusts him, or because Diane ID’d her attacker as a woman?

Dex asks if Michael is giving up on getting evidence against his father, but Michael says, of course (🍷) not. He’s more determined than ever, but it can’t be for something like assault, where Sonny will work the system and go free. He has to get Sonny on organized crime charges. If he can find evidence of RICO violations, there’s no way out for Sonny. He just needs to find another way to get proof. Dex says, starting over with someone new is a waste of time. He’s already in Sonny’s organization. Michael says, Sonny almost had Dex killed, and Dex says, because Sonny thought he was behind the attacks. Now Sonny knows he’s innocent; even better, Sonny knows he was wrong. The look he gave Dex when he admitted the attacker was a woman, is an opening. Sonny’s feeling guilty because he misjudged Dex, and he’s going to want to make up for what happened to him. That’s how Dex can get close enough to get Michael what he needs.

Josslyn tells Trina, Sonny has brought nothing but misery to Dex’s life. Dex has to realize he could have been seriously injured, or killed. Why not call the cops? Press charges, send Sonny to prison where he belongs. Trina says, maybe Dex just doesn’t hate Sonny like Josslyn wants him to. Esme peers over the bushes.

TJ thanks Curtis for meeting him, and Curtis says, he got TJ’s message. Good thing he was already here visiting Portia. What’s going on? TJ says he can’t go into specific details, but a friend is going through something and choosing a risky path. He tried to intervene, but was told to back off, on no uncertain terms. Curtis says, seems to be a lot of that going around.

Carly tells Drew, she could never understand why Virginia kept the last name Benson. Frank walked out on their marriage; never paid her a dime of alimony or child support. Why not go back to her maiden name? Wow. She could ask herself the same question. Why is she keeping Sonny’s last name? They’re over; she’s not going back. She doesn’t want anything from him. They’ve already established their divorce settlement. Why is she still Carly Corinthos? He says, maybe she wants to have the same last name as Donna; a lot of her career is tied to that name. She says, keeping Sonny’s name means she’s holding on to something, and she’s not. Maybe it’s time to stop being Carly Corinthos and become somebody else.

Sonny tells Ava, until Diane said the attacker was a woman, all the circumstantial evidence pointed to Dex. He was second on the scene after Ava was attacked, and there before or after Brando and Diane’s attacks. And then there was the dog tags, which fit perfectly with the metal noise Brando and Josslyn heard. Ava asks if Diane had another explanation for that, and he tells her, Diane said the attacker was wearing a bracelet. She says, then the circumstantial evidence that pointed toward Dex was misleading, and he says, that’s right. She says, but when he thought Dex was the guilty party, what was he going to do to get him to confess? He says, he wasn’t going to condemn Dex without proof, but he also wasn’t going to let him wander around free if he thought Dex was a threat to his friends and family. She says, he made the right call.

Michael says, Sonny just proved how far he’ll go. He doesn’t want Dex’s death on his conscience. Dex says, the security firm Michael hired him from has been sending him into combat situations. He’s used to risking his life. That’s how he earns a living, and it pays well. There’s incentive in that, but he doesn’t see the honor in being some corporation’s soldier for hire. He does see the honor in stopping Sonny. Michael says, enough to take a chance like that? and Dex says, after what Sonny just did to him? Hanging him from a meat hook overnight, being his judge, jury, and executioner? Sonny definitely has this coming. Think about what would have happened if Michael and Josslyn hadn’t shown up. He likes to think he’s tough, but he’s no match for that psycho’s bag of knives. He could have been killed, or at least cut to ribbons by the time Sonny realized he was innocent. The next guy won’t be that lucky. That’s why he wants to see this through. Michael asks if he’s absolutely sure, and Dex says he is. Michael says, okay. In that case, keep the check; he deserves the bonus for hazard pay. Dex thanks him, saying, he’s generous. Michael says, there is one added condition of his employment. Stay away from Josslyn.  

Willow tells Nina, it’s just work stuff, and her shift just ended. Time for her to go home. Nina says she gives Willow credit, continuing to work with everything she has to do; taking care of Wiley, and another baby on the way. Willow says, lots of women continue to work while they’re pregnant, and Nina says, that’s true, but a lot of women aren’t pregnant with the next Quartermaine heir. Willow says she worked to get her nursing degree, and she loves her work. Nina says, money is no object. She’s sure Michael would be thrilled if Willow stayed home during her pregnancy. Because she has to say, Willow looks pale; no offense. Is she just taking on too much? Then she has to wonder, what’s here at the hospital that’s so compelling Willow can’t seem to tear herself away from it?

Drew says, if Carly drops the name Corinthos, what name would she go by? but she says she doesn’t know. Back in the day, when she first came to town, she was Carly Roberts, but that was an alias; she stole the name from Reese. She’s been Carly Quartermaine, and Carly Jax, but just like Corinthos, those were her married names. She doesn’t think legally she’d be allowed to use those names again. Besides, Monica would lose her mind if she called herself Carly Quartermaine again. He says he bets she would, and she says, what about him? He’s been faced with this question. Was he ever tempted to use the Quartermaine name?

Curtis tells TJ, even Ava admitted her security is nothing compared to the security at The Chuck, and TJ says, plus the Murphy-Katz Foundation Fellowship is a big honor. It would look awesome on Trina’s resumé. Curtis says, that’s what he was thinking, so he was talking to Ava, and she said Trina was more than qualified for that offer. The problem is, Trina’s not trying to hear it, because she’s so mad at him interfering in her life. So everything they’ve built, all the progress they made, just evaporated. Now he’s back at square one. TJ disagrees. He doesn’t think Trina would be able to stay mad at him for that long.

Drew tells Carly, he thought about the name Quartermaine. For good or bad, they’re family. Sometimes it’s a bit of a bumpy ride, but he feels like he’s one of them. She says, but he never took on the family name, and he says, because he’s also a Navy SEAL. Chief Andrew Cain, and he’s very proud of that part of his history. The tours that he did, and the people he served with. He doesn’t want to distance himself from that part of his life just for a family brand. Carly says she feels the opposite. She wants distance from Sonny, but she doesn’t want to do it by taking back the name Benson. Drew’s phone rings, and he asks Tara, what’s up? She says she’s confirming Carly’s interview will air tonight, and he says he’s here with Carly; she’s on speaker. She says, unfortunately, someone beat them to the punch. She’s texting Drew a link to a story that already aired on a rival station. She’s sorry she doesn’t have better news. Carly says, she appreciates the heads up, and Drew goes to the link. He hands Carly the phone, and she reads: The woman behind the last minute effort to stop the development of the new parkway not only has ties to madam and sex trafficker Ruby Anderson, Carly Corinthos has a history of violent and erratic behavior, has been institutionalized, and as a teenager, was rumored to be responsible for an auto accident in Jacksonville that left two teenagers dead and one in a coma. She tells Drew, yeah, they’re coming after her. Why doesn’t she just out Peyton’s husband for rape? Reese is no longer alive, so who cares?

Willow says she doesn’t know what drama Nina is trying to drum up this time, but the simplest answer is that GH needs nurses. Like she said, she worked hard to get her degree, and it’s important that she use it. Not that it’s any of Nina’s business if she works or not. Nina says, she completely disagrees with that, and follows Willow to the elevator. She says, Willow and Michael’s reason for banishing her from her grandson’s life is that she’s somehow a threat to the safety and security of their happy home life; a happy home life with two loving parents, completely committed to Wiley and each other. Willow says, she and Michael are committed, and Nina says she really hopes that’s true, because rumors and gossip spread like wildfire. And while she has no intention of telling people about that incredibly intimate embrace between Willow and Dr. Ashford, other people might not be as considerate. She walks away.  

Sonny says, Ava came there to defend Dex; now she’s saying he had a right to suspect him. She tells him, she’s saying he had a right to be cautious, to do whatever he deems necessary to protect his family. He says, what if he hadn’t figured that out in time? and she says, but he did. Dex was unharmed. He says, relatively, and she laughs. She says, the way she sees it, he has an opportunity here. He’s proven to Dex that he doesn’t rush to judgement; that he’s dangerous, but inherently fair. He says he might consider it a test, and she says, one that Dex passed? but he says, that remains to be seen. She says she thinks he found a keeper. Dex is smart, capable, and she thinks he could be trained to be a trustworthy and valuable associate, and she likes that for Avery’s father. Because she wants Avery to have both her parents for a long time.

Dex says, Michael wants him to stay away from his sister? and Michael says he hates lying to Josslyn, and she can’t know Dex works for him. Dex asks, why not? She certainly seems open to the idea of taking Sonny down. Michael says, she’d be all over it, but it would hurt other siblings who Josslyn loves, especially Avery and Donna. He’s willing to be the bad guy, because in the long term, he believes his siblings would be better off without Sonny in their lives. But in the short term, he doesn’t expect them to agree. So those little girls will need Josslyn more than ever, so she needs to be clear of his plans; that means she has to be clear of Dex. Dex says, okay. Michael’s the boss. Dex doesn’t like the idea of lying to Josslyn when he sees her, so he won’t see her.

Curtis says he thinks TJ is being optimistic. It’s one thing for Trina to forgive him. It’s quite another thing for her to see him as her stepfather. TJ says he hears Curtis, but he disagrees. Even if Trina hasn’t come to say the words just yet, he thinks Trina’s grown to love Curtis. And by the time Curtis and Portia get married, he’s confident she’ll be there cheering them both on.

Josslyn says, she hopes that even though he didn’t press charges, this is a huge wake-up call for Dex, and now he’ll be more appreciative of his life. And hopefully take off, and go far, far away from Port Charles. Trina says, that would definitely be for the best. Not just for Dex, but for Josslyn. Josslyn says, her? and Trina says she’s been where Josslyn is, or at least something similar. Think about all the time Spencer brought trouble into her life. Think about all the excuses she kept making for him. Getting involved with someone like Dex, or Spencer, could cost you a lot.  

Esme lets herself into Ryan’s room, and says, hello daddy. Did you miss me? Ryan smiles.

Tomorrow, Ryan asks if Esme is pitching him a new strategy; Selina tells Cody, this could be a significant problem; and Chase says he’ll drop this singing business in a second.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

In Garcelle’s interview, she says she’s fascinated with the love of Birkins. She doesn’t have one; she has kids to send to college. She thinks it’s outrageous to spend that much on a bag, and wonders if it comes with money in it. Christos is one of her best friends, and had a store on Melrose decades ago where everyone went for couture and vintage. He’s helping her throw a Birkins & Bubbles party; two of the things the girls love – girls being her word, not mine; the girl ship sailed away from this group decades ago, along with Christos’s store. She says she stole Patrick from Kathy, and we flash back to Patrick doing his butler thing at one of Kathy’s parties. Christos shows Garcelle the Birkins named after women; the Jane, who was a sexy French girl in the 60s, and the Kelly, named after the Princess of Monaco.  

In an odd tie-in, Kyle is getting ready to host an event for the Princess Grace Foundation. In her interview, she explains, it’s for their US launch of their luxury brand, and 100% of the proceeds go to their charity. Gismondi is a supporter of the charity, and offered to let the women borrow their diamonds. Uh-oh, check Erika’s pockets before she leaves. Kyle says, the dogs are confined to the bedroom where they’re eating her shoes. The women start to arrive at Garcelle’s, LisaR toting a mini Kelly bag, the first Birkin she bought. In Sutton’s interview, she promises no one is going to threaten anyone, and we flash back to Kathy’s dinner, and  Erika saying she’ll come for Sutton, and Patrick telling the kitchen staff, they’re fighting like cats and dogs. Just ask Kyle is coming in, Sutton picks up a green Birkin, and Kyle rushes her, reminding me of the women at the clearance table in Alexander’s back in the day. In Crystal’s interview, she says, Garcelle is brave to have this party without security. She thinks Kyle is going to win the fight, since Sutton won’t be able to catch her with those skinny legs. In Kyle’s interview, she says, seeing LisaR is awkward, now that this situation happened between LisaR and her sister. She’s hoping Kathy’s apology will be enough, so they can all move on, and selfishly, it will make her life easier. She tells the women that she’ll be wearing a 52 carat diamond tomorrow. Josh chats up Patrick, asking if he has a husband, but Patrick says he’s a butterfly, who goes from flower to flower. But he can be a good friend. Garcelle ponders getting a Birkin in her favorite color, yellow, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, Garcelle had a Birkin birthday cake. We flash back to Garcelle saying, it’s the only Birkin she’s ever going to have, and Sutton says, turn the cake into a real Birkin. The women chant, get the bag, and Christos says, sold.

Kyle tells Garcelle that Kathy apologized, and Garcelle – who wasn’t in on that whole thing – says, for? Kyle says, Kathy got upset, and had a meltdown. She knows apologizing isn’t easy for Kathy. Garcelle asks if LisaR knows, and Kyle says, she came over. She told Kathy that she thought Kathy needed help. We flash back to that, and Kyle says, then Kathy goes silent. She wants to just move on. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, she grew up with five girls; she knows about drama with sisters. If Kyle wants to sweep it under the rug, LisaR needs to butt out. Kyle says, all roads lead her, and she wants everyone at the wedding. In Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s not just her sister. She doesn’t get to see her nieces and nephews. Paris and Nicky (?) are like her sisters. She has more to lose than one person. We find out Erika can’t come because of personal stuff; it’s Jagger’s birthday, so Dorit won’t be here; and Diana can’t make it either. Sutton tells Garcelle, regarding the Bumble, a man she thought was nice called her. They talked on the phone for 40 minutes, then suddenly, the phone went dead. She texted him, and it went green – he blocked her. She thinks he got busted by his girlfriend or wife. Kyle says, or Sutton’s clumsy words offended him. In her interview, Sutton says, she’s having fun, she’s single, and she’s 50. She’ll report back later on how it’s working for her. Garcelle says, she heard about Kathy’s apology, and LisaR says she thinks overall it’s a good thing to have happened. Whatever that means. She asks how Kyle feels, and Kyle says, better. She just wants to move on. LisaR asks how much Garcelle knows about what happened, and Garcelle says she got a text from Kathy at almost 1 am, and LisaR says she got one at around 1, but didn’t see it until the morning. She’d locked herself in the bedroom. Garcelle asks, why? and she says she was shook by Kathy’s behavior. Her using the word shook grates on my nerves, and Garcelle says, she was that scared? In her interview, Kyle wonders why LisaR can’t just accept the apology and move on. She can be a dog with a bone. Then, like Bravo read my mind and wants to personally irritate me, we flash back to every time LisaR said she was shook. Kyle tells us that she thinks LisaR is more upset that she had to witness this, than she’s concerned about looking after her. LisaR says she thinks it’s something Kyle and Kathy need to deal with, and Kyle says she’s feeling uncomfortable. She has to move on. LisaR says she thinks she’s being protective of Kyle, but Kyle tells LisaR to put herself in her shoes. They’re not shoes anyone wants to wear. She heads for the kitchen, and Sutton says, she thought the ruckus was about the dress code. Crystal says, they couldn’t hear anything in the club. They couldn’t even hear each other. LisaR can’t help herself, and follows Kyle. She says she hopes Kathy gets the help she needs, and in Kyle’s interview, she says, LisaR is putting her in a worse position. She’s not helping by taunting Kyle’s sister. Accept the apology and move on. LisaR says she prays for Kathy and hopes she takes this, and asks, how can I grow from this? Omg. I might actually get sick.

Everyone gets ready for Kyle’s event, and Erika says, she’s going to try to be Grace Kelly, and rise above it all. She’s sure it will last five minutes. On the way there, Crystal explains to Rob that Prince Albert runs the foundation, and Rob wonders if they’ll have any diamond grills. He insists Grace Kelly wore one. LisaR tells Erika – no surprise these two are thick as thieves now – that Kathy’s publicist called her. Erika says, Kathy’s lawyers are trying to kill it. It’s known what went on. We see a clip of a podcast, where host Zack Peter thinks Kathy probably has tantrums and meltdowns often. Someone has loose lips. In LisaR’s interview, she says, as much as Kathy would like to silence her, Kathy knows what she did. She acted like a fool, and her behavior was disgusting. Now the press got ahold of it, and it’s everywhere. Kathy wants her to stay silent, but she’s not that person. Yeah, we know. <yawn>  She tells Erika that she’s still shook (stop it!). She’s never seen behavior like that in her life. I guess she’s forgotten slamming a glass on the restaurant table – #WhatDidHarryDo – when she was pissed at Kim, and the pieces went flying everywhere. The women begin to arrive at Kyle’s and pick out jewelry. Kyle puts on the 52 carat ring, and in her interview, she says, the more glamorous it looks, the more money people feel they have to give. Gorgeous gowns, tuxedos, and diamonds galore. People will spend money. Kyle tells Crystal that Kathy is out of town, and Crystal says, it seems like Kyle has a lot of stuff going on; it’s not healthy. They sit, and Crystal says, Kyle needs to handle whatever’s going on between her and Kathy. Kyle says, Kathy’s meltdown was leaked. They all heard and saw it, but Erika and LisaR are the most upset. We flash back to Erika telling Diana, if they’re going to talk about Erika’s behavior, they’re going to talk about everyone’s behavior. Crystal wonders who would have the motive; what’s the point? Kyle says, it’s not like everyone’s an angel. You don’t get to decide whose apology is acceptable, and who should be forgiven. If they care about her, can they not talk about it? She and her children are the ones who will get hurt in the end.

Crystal asks if Kyle wants to talk to them, but Kyle says, not now. In Kyle’s interview, she says she was hoping everyone would drop what happened in Aspen, and have a beautiful, fun evening. Wow. She asks a lot. At the bar, Erika says, technically, she’s not supposed to drink anything, but that’s not going to work tonight. The charity rep goes to the mic, and says, tonight is extra special. They’re launching the first luxury brand that’s funded entirely for good. All the profits go to the artists and their charitable mission. They’re ushering in a new era for the Princess Grace Foundation. Everyone sits down for dinner, and Kyle asks if Garcelle has spoken to Kathy. Garcelle says, Kathy is upset about people running with a story that doesn’t make her look good. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she thinks Kathy is pissed at LisaR, and feels like she shouldn’t have been made to apologize, but she doesn’t know what happened. LisaR isn’t letting go, and it’s going to hurt Kyle and Kathy’s relationship. Is it worth it? Only LisaR knows. Kyle says, LisaR and Erika claim it hurt them to hear Kathy talking bad about her, but Garcelle says, they don’t seem to care. If they did, they’d let it go. In her interview, Garcelle says, if they really cared, they would drop it, but they’re not doing that. This is their agenda. Garcelle tells Kyle, she thinks it distracts from Erika. No one’s talking about Erika anymore; they’re talking about Kathy. Kyle says, it’s hard to talk. She feels like she’s being watched. She feels like the opportunity is being taken advantage of, and Garcelle says, and they’re running with it. Kyle says she won’t be able to recover from this, and they go to a lounge area that has heaters. The women trickle over, and Garcelle tells Sutton that she wants to get to the bottom of this. Why did Kathy apologize to LisaR? Garcelle says she feels like she’s out of the loop about Aspen. Why was LisaR offended and need an apology from Kathy? LisaR says didn’t need anything from Kathy. Garcelle says, if Kathy apologized, they should let it go, and playing stupid, LisaR asks, who should let it go? Garcelle says she’s talking to LisaR and Erika, and LisaR says she’s sensing some attitude. Why is Garcelle being opinionated about something she’s not part of? Do they really not see what they do, or do they think we have short term memory loss?

In Garcelle’s interview, she says, Erika has said awful things in past – we flash back to that – and it feels like they’re gunning for Kathy. Erika says, people were hard on her, she took it, and owned up to it. Kathy needs to own her sh*t too. LisaR says, it’s not her fault, or Erika’s that Kyle’s sister had bad behavior. Kathy did it, and that’s that. Garcelle says, Kyle would rather it not be brought up, and Kyle says, she wants everyone at her daughter’s wedding. They have to let it go. Telling Kyle what she should do with her feelings, LisaR says, Kyle can’t sweep it under the rug, and pretend it didn’t happen. Garcelle can if she wants, but if LisaR didn’t express herself about the bad things that go on, she’d get sick with cancer. it’s that vile that she’ll get sick and die. There are various interview reactions from laughing to Garcelle wondering we’re back on Days of Our Lives again. LisaR says, Kathy said things that could ruin people’s lives forever. Does Kyle know what happened back at the house? Does anyone? Before they point fingers, she’s protecting her friend. Okay, here’s where I have a big problem. Either LisaR is greatly exaggerating, because all we know is Kathy said she’d ruin people, not how she’d ruin them; or she’s going to poke this beehive until what could ruin people comes out and ruins them. What an asshat she is. In Erika’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what happened. Only LisaR knows, and she hopes LisaR tells everything. Rob says, every moment is big drama, and Crystal says, Kyle wants to mend things with her sister. Family is bigger than anything. Erika says, she was pummeled for a year and a half pummeled, and Kyle asks if that’s why she wants Kathy called out. Erika says, Kathy was in a public place, and there’s consequences. Kyle says, they’re punishing her, but LisaR says, no, her sister is. Erica says, that’s right, like she’s giving a witness, and Kyle gets up, saying, she’s going to the bathroom. Dorit follows her, and they sit inside. Kyle says, it’s weird that at every detail is leaked from every event, and Dorit agrees it’s weird, and asks if she thinks it’s somebody here. Kyle says, 100%, and in her interview, she says she heard from a reliable source that the leaks in Aspen came from someone in the group, and there were other leaks that didn’t make it to publication. She tells Dorit that she knows who it was. It’s someone who wants her sister to look bad so they don’t look as bad. Everyone starts leaving, and Kyle tells the morally corrupt Faye Resnick that she’ll fill her in later. Articles came out, and Kathy’s lawyers are trying to squash them. Sutton asks if she has to do this, and flat-out asks Erika and LisaR if they leaked it to the press, but they both say, no. Erika says, she doesn’t know how, and the world laughs. Kyle says it was Erika’s publicist, and in her interview, she says, Kathy launched an investigation, and someone on Erika’s team leaked the story. Erika asks Kyle to show her what she has, and Kyle says she’ll get it to her. LisaR says, she got calls from her publicist just this week about things said about her. Stuff gets out there, but not necessarily from a leak. Kyle says she’s never had any calls like that, and Erika says, she and Nicky share a publicist, and she wouldn’t think it was in their best interest. In her interview, Erika says, how convenient accusing her publicist. Kyle’s sister made an ass of herself in public, and everyone saw. It’s disappointing to see Kyle try to flip it back on her. She’s afraid of Kathy, and what Kathy can do to her. LisaR says, if she opens her mouth, people are listening and watching. Kyle says, stories have been given to the tabloids, and at Erika’s hair party, someone called from the event, and texted a play-by-play. LisaR and Erika start firing questions at Kyle about why it hasn’t been printed, and in Kyle’s interview, she says, there are a number of reasons a story might be squashed. It’s not true, there’s no evidence to support it, someone has motivation to discredit someone else, or there’s a threat of a lawsuit. She knows it came from that camp. She tells them, people who want to make Kathy look bad are only hurting her.

In LisaR’s interview, she says, accusing Erika’s publicist is bullsh*t. Kyle knows what happened, and the extent Kyle is going to, to cover for her sister is un-f***ing-believable. Kyle says, they think Kathy was an a-hole – Erika says, she was – so they’re making sure everyone knows it. Erika says, she’s having a hard time with this conversation. For the last two years, her ass was chewed every day about things she didn’t do, and her behavior was up for discussion. In her interview, Kyle says, there was no reason to talk to the press or anyone outside the group. If they’re her friends, they need to end this, so she can repair things with her sister. Garcelle wonders why they want to take Kathy down, and in her interview, Erika asks what she’d have to gain. The people who are suing her don’t give a sh*t about Kathy. Maybe not, but maybe Erika gives a sh*t about public opinion. LisaR says, it’s a dangerous game, and Erika says, a lot of people don’t like Kathy. LisaR says, it’s not about taking Kathy down; Kathy is taking herself down. Kyle says, it distracts from Erika, and Erika says, there’s no distracting from her. Kathy isn’t well-known enough to distract from her. In Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s not a competition about who’s more famous, but if Erika wants to play that game, she thinks Kathy’s last name trumps Girardi. Dorit whispers to Kyle that she shouldn’t have brought it up, and Kyle says she has to give back the earrings. Is she keeping the ring? Erika and LisaR start to leave, and Kyle says, if it’s not out, can it stay that way? but they’re like, not a chance. In her interview, Kyle says, she’s not sure what happens from here, if she’s forced to choose between her friends and her sister. Regardless of  what happened, her sister is her blood. Garcelle says, if someone said her people did this, she’d be asking herself if that was a possibility. Dorit says she hates when it becomes sides. She likes standing on her own island.

Since it’s the finale, the text tells us that Dorit is still working to overcome her trauma, and the robbers at still at large. In her interview, she says, when you go through something like she went through, and your friends all rally around you, you feel like you can get through anything. We read that Crystal’s family adopted a puppy, and Crystal is also seeing an ED (that would be eating disorder, not erectile dysfunction – why are those known by the same initials?) specialist. In her interview, Crystal says, it’s just a part of life. She’s going to keep taking one step at a time toward recovery. When she does, she’s having a good day, and today is a good day. We see Diana had another painful miscarriage in May, but remains determined to have another baby. Sutton tells Kyle that blood is thicker than water, but water moves faster, and blood is slow. Just hold on. We read she’s still seeing Sanjit, but insists they’re just friends. In her interview, she says, this year, she was thinking of herself too much, but she’ll always stick her foot in her mouth. She wouldn’t be herself if she didn’t. I love Sutton. Garcelle tells Kyle, let it play out for them to work it out, and the text tells us that Garcelle’s memoir received good reviews… even if everyone did not enjoy it. We see a picture of Erika putting Garcelle’s book in the garbage. Because we’re in middle school. We read that Garcelle took her Birkin on tour, and in her interview, Garcelle says, sometimes you have to say how you feel, and she does that. Kyle says she just wants everyone to be okay, and Garcelle says, Erika and LisaR should understand that if they’re her friends.

In the car, Erika says, she told LisaR that they’d try to pin it on them. Nothing could be a distraction from the nuclear bomb her life is. The text says, Erika is off the hook with one lawsuit. It was determined she had no knowledge of Tom’s financial shenanigans. She’s still trying to win back the $1.3 million earrings (an amended appraisal from $750K). In her interview, she says, her goal is to get to a peaceful place with all these women. Hmm… Maybe she should try a different tactic if that’s the case. She says, their lives could blow up, and she’ll be the one to give expert advice. She tells LisaR that they didn’t give her enough understanding and space about her mother. LisaR sucks it up, then falls apart at home. That’s what they do. What the…? Is she on the same show I’m watching? Or are we supposed to pretend LisaR didn’t have several outbursts, for which she apologized, but didn’t mean it. Erika says, she had too many drinks, and fell in front everybody. LisaR says, there are worse things Erika could have done. Yeah, like leak info about someone else to the press. We read that LisaR and family honored Lois with a private ceremony in Oregon, and she still hears Lois in every bird. In her interview, she says, it’s been the hardest year. She doesn’t know who she is without her mom, but she has to be for her family what Lois was for her. And those are huge shoes to fill. The text says that Kyle has only seen Kathy a few times since the show wrapped, and has no idea if she’s going to attend Farrah’s wedding. In her interview, Kyle says, everyone has gone through a lot, and she’d like to think they’ll come out the other side, but she just doesn’t know right now.

Kyle returns to the backyard, and says, let’s get the party started… There’s nobody here.

🚪 Dave’s Not Here…

Return to this same spot tomorrow for soap and those Charmers from the South. Until then stay safe, stay surprising yourself occasionally, and stay remembering, just because you’re late to the battle doesn’t mean your cause is any less valid.