What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie and Brook rave over the new issue of Crimson, and Maxie says, best of all… Brook says, it makes her want to buy the product. Maxie says she knows it’s too early to track sales, but… Brook looks at her tablet and says, website traffic and social media mentions are spiking. If this continues, they’re in for one hell of a quarter. Maxie says, congratulations, and Brook says, to all of them, but Maxie says, no, to her for all her work with Carly to make this happen. Brook says, that’s why she’s here, and Maxie says, not to make this weird, but since she’s so reinvested in Deception, is Brook reconsidering her plan to turn the company over to her? Brook says, absolutely not. As soon as it’s possible, Deception will be Maxie’s again. Just as it should be. Maxie says she knows it’s hard to tell because their waterproof mascara is just that fantastic, but she’s tearing up right now. Lucy and Sasha come in, and Lucy asks, what’s going on in here?

At Charlie’s, Trina tells Josslyn that since she saw Spencer disappear into the water, she’s been walking through a fog. It’s like the world doesn’t have meaning anymore and everything that was important to her has lost its value. Josslyn says she hears Trina, but not everything has lost its value. What about art? What about her family and her friends? Trina says she loves them all, but it’s more like something she remembers feeling, and Josslyn says she thinks she felt something similar when Oscar passed. That’s how she knows Trina will get through this. Trina asks, what makes her so sure? and Josslyn says, because Trina is Trina, and she says so. She just can’t believe Spencer is gone. Trina says, he’s not the only one. What about Dex?

At the bar, Felicia thanks Spinelli for going through this entire ruse; moving in with Maxie and paying rent to keep her afloat so she can sort out her finances. It’s meant a lot. He says he was only too happy to help, and she says she’s sure giving up his personal space has been a huge sacrifice, which is why she’s happy to report – fingers crossed – that his pipes might soon be fixed. He says his pipes were never broken. That was all part of the… Oh. He sees. She says, Maxie’s almost back on her feet, so she was thinking it might be time to put an end to their little deception. He says, as it were, and she says, so he can finally pull up stakes and move back home. Won’t that be great? He says, yeah… great.

Lucy says, look at you two, thick as thieves. It forces her to wonder, what inspired Maxie to get so cozy with the resident rat? Maxie says, it’s nothing. They were just excited about the spread. She holds up the magazine, and Lucy says, oh. She’s actually excited. It’s better than she imagined, and she does have a very vivid imagination. Brook says, clearly, and Sasha says she has to give it up for their team. The copy, the placement, this entire ad campaign looks fantastic. Tracy comes in and says, you know what they say about appearances. They have all been deceived, (well, that would be ironic), and someone is going to be held accountable.

Alexis tells Gregory that the social media reports came in, and the online engagement about their coverage has been on a steady rise, so she’s hoping the numbers will impress their new – she makes a gagging gesture – management. Nina comes in and says, her? Satisfied? Never.

Carly looks at the headline about Olivia Jerome, when Drew comes in with the magazine and says, look what you did. She’s a beauty, just like her editor. What’s the matter? Doesn’t she want to celebrate her first issue of Crimson? She says she wishes she could, but right now she can only think about one thing.

Ava comes into the penthouse and says she didn’t think Sonny would be here. She’s just going to pick up something for the gallery. She’ll stay out of his hair. He says, she can’t avoid him forever, and she says, but she can try. He says, they need to talk about her sister.

Carly tells Drew that she’s so proud of that magazine. She’s never done anything like that before. She should be out there thanking her staff for all their hard work, but – she shows him her tablet with the headline about Olivia – this happened. Olivia Jerome is dead, the woman who planted the car bomb that killed Morgan. Seeing the headline opened a door that she’s been keeping closed really tight, and all she can think about is her son and how he was taken from her. Drew says he’s definitely thought about Morgan too. He was on his way to see how she was doing, but then he saw the magazine. He was so proud of her being able to focus on this considering. She says, it should be a happy thing, and she should be feeling that instead of all these feelings that are coming back to her. Drew says, he was her son, and she says, his death was so sudden and so senseless. He says he knows. Morgan was so young and had so much life left to live. She says, she should have processed this already, and she should be able to bounce back, and he says, why? There is no should. Not when it comes to losing a child. He hugs her.

Ava says, Sonny’s right. She has been avoiding him, but does he blame her? She’s sure she’s not a person he wants to see right now. He says he didn’t ask her to steer clear, and she says she knows. And she knows he’s not one to mince words, and she also knows he wouldn’t tell her to leave for Avery’s sake. He says, if she’s in his home it’s because he wants her to stay, and she says she doesn’t mind if Avery stays and she finds someplace else, but he says, she knows that’s not an option. She says, but staying here is? Doesn’t her being here bring up an awful lot of memories?

Tracy says, Carly changed the layout, in bad faith, she might add. They were promised an interview and a full-page spread in the first 20 pages. Maxie says, they were, and then Carly called them personally and said there was a spacing issue. She got the change approved by Brook and by her. (What did I say? Carly was making all these promises as the magazine was going to press. I know zilch about that stuff, yet I could guess there wouldn’t be the space she was offering.) Brook says, and she gave them an addition half page of ad space as compensation, and Maxie says, which means they got better placement and more space, all thanks to Tracy’s granddaughter’s exceptional negotiation skills. Tracy says, it isn’t what they agreed upon, and they could have squeezed more out of Carly. But clearly, Maxie is too close to her or maybe just too trusting to realize it. Sasha suggests Tracy take another look at the issue. She thinks if Tracy keeps an open mind – Lucy says, what little mind she has left – she’ll see how fantastic this ad campaign is, thanks to Maxie’s guidance. It’s vital, it’s fresh, and you can see how much passion went into it. (Does anyone really look at ads that hard?) Tracy says, maybe if Maxie loves what Carly is doing so much, she should sell her shares of Deception and go back to Crimson.

Alexis says she didn’t realize they had a meeting this morning, and setting down some potted flowers, Nina says she couldn’t sit on her hands after reading Alexis’s Olivia Jerome coverage. Gregory says, they’re all very proud of their work on that piece. Not only did The Invader get the scoop on Ms. Jerome’s murder, they provided valuable context and insight into her life as well as her death. Nina says she loved it. That’s why she wants to promote Alexis’s work. She wants to find Alexis her Peabody, her Pulitzer. Alexis says she thinks what Nina is suggesting is a little ambitious, and Nina says, of course (🍷) it is. Alexis says, what she meant was, a little too ambitious. She knows Nina is used to running a glamor magazine, but this is a daily newspaper, so the pacing and style is different. Nina says she gets it and trusts Alexis’s instinct on journalistic integrity. But what she brings with her from Crimson is more than a little expertise in circulation. And The Invader, while good, leveled off. Alexis says, again, with respect, the landscape of journalism is the daily struggle. What she would suggest is Nina spend some time learning about the business and then make a big change if she wishes. Nina says, that’s a great idea. That’s why she wants Alexis to focus in on the important issues and quality journalism and let her worry about the numbers. Alexis says, right. What does that mean?

Tracy asks Lucy, what’s so funny? and Lucy says, it’s just that she’s so pleased to know Tracy hasn’t lost her famous people skills. Brook suggests they take a moment to recognize there is no Deception without Maxie. Have they even taken a minute to look at social media? The campaign is doing great. Crimson readers are going straight to the website, all thanks to Maxie. Maxie thanks Brook, and says, Brook deserves just as much credit. Tracy says, clicks and likes do not translate to sales, but Brook says, they literally do. People who go directly to the website usually end up buying more than one product, making up for those who are just browsing. Maxie says, likes keep them trending, which means more clicks, so… Lucy picks up her bag and coat, and Maxie asks where she’s escaping to. Lucy says, this is so boring. All that Tracy does is complain and she’s sick of hearing it. She’s sure they are too, so she has more important things to do with her time. She leaves.

Spinelli says, any number of bad things can happen to Maxie. There could be a downturn in the market. Deception could have a downturn. The debt ceiling could be a socioeconomic trash compactor. Felicia tells him, breathe. Maxie’s financial advisor is confident that she’ll be fine. He asks if they trust this advisor. What are their credentials? Are they even a fiduciary? They could be an itinerary gambler, an embezzler, or God forbid, clandestinely involved in the performing arts. (Oh, horrors!) Felicia says she really doesn’t think that’s the case, but you never know, right? He says, her attempt at humor is no solace to him, and she says she’s getting a very strong impression nothing would be. Level with her. Why doesn’t he want to move out?

Sonny asks if she’s talking about her sister Olivia, and Ava says, he brought her up. He says, yes, he did, and she tells him that she knows she probably doesn’t have to say this, but it bears repeating. She and Olivia were not close. She barely knew Olivia. Olivia did hold her hostage. Sonny says he remembers, and she says, so whoever killed her dearly departed sister, she’s grateful. He says he doesn’t know how grateful she’s going to be when he tells her who did it. It was the people who tried to kill him at the MetroCourt and in Puerto Rico. She tells him that she can’t say she’s a fan of all their work, but she’ll give them credit of doing the one good deed of wiping Olivia off the planet. But where does this leave them? There’s a lot of history under this roof right now and she doesn’t know how long they can sustain it. He says he doesn’t even want to think of the past, because there’s so much trouble going on in the here and now. Do they agree on that? There’s a knock at the door, and Ava says she’ll check on Avery. Sonny asks the guard, what is it? and he says, Sonny has a visitor. Sonny says he doesn’t want to be disturbed, and the guard says he’ll send her away, but Selina says, he’ll do no such thing. She walks to the doorway and says, Sonny Corinthos, you never write, you never call.

Alexis says, absolutely not, but Nina says, just hear her out. Alexis says, fine, but only because she has to, and Nina says, this is what she does. Take her two top op-ed writers and publish them on alternate days, so The Invader will have space for a syndicated gossip columnist. Alexis says, when Valentin told her that he bought this paper and hired Nina to be publisher, she told him on no uncertain terms that she would not let this paper be turned back into a seedy tabloid. Not on her watch. Nina says she promises Alexis will be able to provide quality journalism for her readers (it’s not like Crimson was some rag), and Alexis says, great. Are they done here? Nina says, in order to fund and expand that work, they need to increase revenue, and the only way to do that is by readership growth. One thing she did learn from Crimson, it pays to give the readers what they want. Alexis says, Nina’s already hired someone, hasn’t she? and Nina says she likes to work with people who are open minded and not afraid of change, and she knows that’s Alexis, whether Alexis knows it or not. She adjusts the flowers and leaves. Alexis tells Gregory, help… Okay, here’s what they’re going to do. They’re going to convince Nina that there’s going to be no gossip column here or they’re going to hightail it out of here with their integrity intact. Will he say something? He says, don’t hate him, but he thinks Nina might be onto something.

Spinelli tells Felicia, it’s not that he doesn’t want to move out. He’s gotten used to spending time with Georgie and James and Bailey Lou. It would be a shame to abruptly end their tutelage of fantasy role playing games at this juncture. Felicia says, Bailey plays fantasy games? and he says, they work as a team. She has a deft touch with the dice. A hand clamps down on his shoulder, and Cody says, if it isn’t two of his favorite people. He asks how Mac is doing, and Felicia says, still away. They talk a little bit every day if they can. He sends his regards. Cody says, please send Mac his as well. He couldn’t help but overhear them, and asks Spinelli, why not tell Felicia the truth?

Josslyn says, there are things she can’t tell Trina about why Dex left, and she wants Trina to know it has nothing to do with their friendship. Trina says she’s here for Josslyn, so tell her what she can. What has she figured out so far?

Cody says, Spinelli wants to keep spending time with the kids. Wouldn’t it be jarring if he suddenly left, especially after their used to having him there so much? And he bets Spinelli would miss them too. Right, buddy? Spinelli says, that’s exactly right, and Felicia says she supposes they could work out some kind of arrangement to wean him out of the house. Talk to Maxie. Lucy comes in and trots over to Felicia. She says, you, with me, now. Excuse them. She practically drags Felicia outside, and Cody says, Spinelli does know Felicia’s right, doesn’t he?

Tracy says, thank God Lucy left. They can finally get some work done. Brook says, before they do that, she’d like to have a word. She asks Maxie if they can please use her office for a second, and Maxie says, yes, by all means. Maybe Brook can get Tracy to see what a triumph they’ve made. She tells Sasha to get out while she can, and they both leave. Tracy says, finally, it’s just her and Brook. How does Brook want to manage this crisis? Brook says, they don’t, because there isn’t a crisis, and Tracy asks if she’s learned nothing. Brook says, what she’s learned is that there’s obviously something that’s upsetting Tracy and she’s taking it out on everyone else. And she’s pretty sure it has nothing to do with Deception.

Sonny asks if Selina just happened to be in the neighborhood, and she says, first of all, she wanted to congratulate him. He says, why? What did he win? She says, the woman who’s responsible for the death of his youngest son is finally dead, and he says, too little too late. Anything else she needs? She asks why she had to hear from Curtis Ashford that she might be the target of a shooter going after – Ava comes back – certain independent business owners. He says, it’s okay. Ava knows everything. Selina says, even so, care to answer the question? He says he thought she could handle it herself, and Selina says she appreciates the vote of confidence, but why should she believe him? He says he doesn’t really care if she believes him or not, and she says, before all this happened, they were managing to peacefully co-exist in Port Charles, but now with all this secrecy, she’s thinking maybe that should change. Perhaps now is the time to bring their alliance to an end.

Sonny says, if Selina wants to end their alliance, that’s up to her, but he wouldn’t recommend it. Selina asks, why not? and Ava says she’ll leave them to it, but Sonny says, don’t leave. He might need her input. Ava says, really? and Selina says, and why? Sonny asks if Selina forgot Ava was in the business, but Selina says, not for some time now. He says, she knows the business from the inside and the outside, and she may even give Selina some insight. Selina says, unlikely, but one never knows. So tell her, why should she and Sonny not dissolve their partnership? Sonny says, she never represented a threat to him or his business whatever that is and they both know she doesn’t want to. It’s a matter of scale. Selina says, then why not tell her the truth, that she has a target on her back? and he says he was going to. That’s the actual truth. Selina says, and he changed his mind, but he tells her, like he said, there were other factors. Selina says, such as? and he says, if he tells her this, she needs to give him her word that it doesn’t go out of this room. She says, he has her solemn oath, and he says, there’s a leak in his organization. She says she sees. Does he know who it was? He says he did, but it turned out to be a dead end. He didn’t want to say anything to her until he was positive. She says she sees the wisdom in that. As it turns out, he’s not the only one with a traitor in their midst.

Carly says she thought if Olivia ever got what was coming to her, she’d feel some kind of relief, and Drew says, then it happens, and… She says she feels anger… It’s sadness He suggests she take the day off. This is a lot to process. People will understand. She says she can’t. People worked so hard to put this issue together. Everyone showed up and taught her the ropes and they deserve some recognition. So does she look okay? He says, she looks amazing, and hugs her. Nina walks in.

Tracy says she’s not upset about anything. Where did Brook get that idea? Brook says she saw the way Tracy reacted to Lucy, and Tracy says, she’s an airhead. Brook says, look, ever since Tracy lost Luke, she’s been a little rudderless. Maybe a little lonely, dare she say, although she knows Tracy would never admit it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. She knows it must be scary, opening her heart up after losing the man she loves, but Brook also knows she must want to. Tracy says, this is not appropriate workplace conversation, but Brook says she’s right. It’s obvious there’s someone Tracy wants to bring to the wedding, but she just hasn’t asked them yet. Tracy says, Brook’s not right, so how can it be obvious? and Brook asks, why else would she have pitched a fit about not getting a plus one? Tracy says, come on, and Brook says, Tracy’s right. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about – Tracy says, thank you – because if she did, that would mean Tracy is too afraid to ask. But she is Tracy Angelica Quartermaine. She’s not afraid of anything. Is she?

At the café, Maxie tells Sasha, the mock-ups are exactly the same. They’re just spaced out a little more, which means they have more ad space. They look less crowded. It’s a win for them. She doesn’t even know what Tracy is talking about. Sasha says, stop, and Maxie says she’s sorry she’s rambling. It’s just that Tracy drives her so crazy sometimes. Sasha says, she drives all of them crazy, but she can’t take Tracy too seriously. Besides, Brook knows how to handle her. Maxie says, Sasha’s right. Normally, she wouldn’t let something like this bother her; she’d just dive straight into work. But this time… Sasha asks if she’s okay, and Maxie says, yeah. Why? Sasha says, she just stopped talking, and Maxie says she can see why that would be a cause for concern. Sasha asks if there’s something else on her mind, and Maxie says, her accountant said she’s close to being financially solvent again. Sasha says, that’s great. She must be so relieved. Maxie says, yeah, she is, and Sasha asks if she’s sure. Because by the look on her face, it doesn’t seem like good news. Is something else going on?

Cody sits next to Spinelli and says he knows what Spinelli is going to say, that he and Maxie are just friends or co-parents or whatever, but… Spinelli says, as much as he loathes to admit it, Cody is right. His feelings for Maxie extend beyond the platonic and into the romantic. Again. Cody says, way to go. Look at him. He said it out loud. He’s really proud of Spinelli. Doesn’t it feel good? Spinelli says, only because he knows nothing will come of it. Maxie will ask him to move out, which he will, and everything will go back to normal. Cody says, or now maybe is the perfect time to tell Maxie how he feels, but Spinelli says, and risk their friendship? How could he possibly throw that away because of some fleeting infatuation?

Lucy asks if Maxie has said anything about Deception, and Felicia says, other than working night and day on a new ad campaign? but Lucy says, not about work. She’s talking about Brook. She did help Tracy steal Deception from her and Maxie. She just can’t figure out why Maxie is trying to make Brook look so good.

Trina asks Josslyn, if Sonny made Dex go away, would he trust Dex or would he have his guards make sure Dex stays away? Josslyn says, Trina is a genius. She has most of Sonny’s guard’s numbers because of Donna and Avery. Trina asks if she can trace them or something, and Josslyn looks over at Spinelli. She says, she can’t, but she thinks she knows someone who can.

Nina says she’s there to make sure this office still meets Carly’s high standards, and Carly says she’s satisfied with the repairs. Thanks. Nina says, Carly is much more understanding than that boyfriend of hers, and Carly says, how so? Nina says, Drew was so upset with the repairs being done, he made some choice phone calls to some very important people and crushed her dreams of starting her own magazine, but fortunately, she’s resilient and adapts, so she’s no longer in fashion. She’s in news media. Carly says, cable access? and Nina says, no. Carly hasn’t heard. Valentin bought The Invader and now she’s publisher. So she guesses the moral of the story is, everything always works out in the end. So thank you, Drew. He freed her from the insular world of fashion, allowing her to broaden her horizons with The Invader. So from now on she’s on to far bigger and far better things.

Gregory says, Nina wants a money-maker that relies on subscribers than advertisers. Gossip columns began as populist journalism, written by and for the elite. Alexis says, you know why the society page died? Because no one gives a crap anymore about debutants and divorcées. He says he knows she thinks it’s soft and unworthy of interest in her newspaper, but it also reveals what’s going on behind the closed doors of influential people. She says, columns about who wore what where don’t interest her, and he says, she’s not her only subscriber. And don’t forget, not all newspapers are dropped off at a doorstep anymore. Most of their readers prefer to come to them and they want them to keep coming, do they not? She says, of course (🍷) they do, and he says, so if they want them to eat their vegetables, i.e. the good stuff they offer them, maybe they need entice them with a little dessert. She says she doesn’t like it, and he says, she doesn’t have to like it. She says, so they just have to do it? and he says, unless she can come up with a highbrow alternative that’s just as popular and profitable. She says she has a better idea. Why doesn’t he come up with a highbrow alternative that’s whatever he said. Earn his paycheck. He says he’ll get back to her on that. In the meantime, he hopes she won’t hold his falling in line against him because he has a favor to ask. She says, depends. What’s the favor?

Tracy says, of course (🍷) she’s not afraid, and Brook says, then why not ask? Tracy says, it’s not her business, and Brook says, if she hadn’t inherited Tracy’s relentlessness and insistence on meddling, she’d let it go, but alas. Tracy says, fine. There is someone. Brook says she knew it, and Tracy says, but she’s not going to ask him. Brook says, why not? and Tracy says, because it’s not necessary. Brook says, why not? Is he already going to be at the… She gasps and says, it’s Gregory, and Tracy says, good guess. So now she sees, there’s no point. Brook says, but wouldn’t it be great to show up on Gregory’s arm as opposed to just happening to be at the same place?

Maxie tells Sasha, they must be almost done with the repairs in Spinelli’s apartment and that means he’ll be moving out soon. Sasha says, that’s too bad. Maxie really seemed to enjoy having him at her house. Maxie says, they drive each other crazy; they always have. Sasha says, but in a good way, right? and Maxie says, sometimes. She guesses she missed seeing Spinelli every day, because now that she does, she loves telling Spinelli about her day. And she loves explaining the business to him and listening to him talk about chemical compounds and situational epics and hearing about his day, the details of which are completely incomprehensible. It’s like listening to R2-D2. Sasha says, who doesn’t love R2-D2? and Maxie says, right? But he loves what he does, and she loves hearing him talk about what he loves. For somebody who uses 500 words when 5 will do – Sasha says she can’t imagine what that must be like – he’s a great listener. Spinelli always helps her put her day in perspective and remember what matters the most. Sasha says, if things are going so well, why doesn’t she ask him to stay? but Maxie says, no, no, no, no, no. Sasha says, why not? and Maxie says she’s already asked so much of him. How can she ask him for anything else?

Trina tells Josslyn, go find Dex. And when she does, never let go of him. They hug.

Felicia says she doesn’t know what’s going on with Maxie and Brook. All she knows is, they have a very strong bond. You don’t care for the same child without developing a deep trust and understanding. Lucy says, friendship though, is one thing. Business is quite another. Felicia says she doesn’t know why Maxie is being so generous with Brook or why Brook is suddenly so invested in Deception. They’re probably just working out their differences and it’s as simple as that. She wishes she could be of more help, but she can’t. Lucy says she’s got to go, and jets.

Spinelli tells Cody that he used to woo Maxie with karaoke. Those were the days, my friend. That’s an expression. He and Cody are acquaintances at best. Cody says he’s well aware, and looks at a card advertising karaoke at Charlie’s. Josslyn approaches Spinelli, and he says his condolences about Spencer. She thanks him and asks if she can talk to him.

Sonny says, any idea who the leak is? and Selina says, with all due respect, and looks at Ava. Sonny says he told her, she can trust Ava, but Ava says, it’s okay. She was just about to fix herself a drink. Selina says, cheers, and Ava leaves. Sonny and Selina sit on the sofa, and Selina says she takes it he heard about the attack on her and her men. He says he doesn’t know the details. Is there something else he should know? She says, between them, she was quite taken aback that she left herself in so vulnerable a position, and he says he knows the feeling. She says, after the attack, she discovered one of her most trusted guards had been accepting bribes. He tipped off her location. Sonny says he needs to talk to this guy, and she says, that can be arranged, but she’ll need something from him in return. I’m shocked she let him live.

Josslyn asks if Spinelli can find the location of a cell phone off the number, and he says, it’s possible, but it does depend on a variety of factors. It might help if he knew who she was looking for. She says, trust her. The less he knows, the better. At the bar on the phone, Cody asks Sasha if she and Maxie have any plans for tonight. Sasha says, not that she knows of, and he says, she does now. Bring her down to Charlie’s. Spinelli will be waiting. Do not take no for an answer. She says, they’ll be there.

Alexis tells Gregory, that is a favor she’s more than happy to grant. As soon as she checks her schedule. Tracy knocks at the door and says, Gregory’s assistant said she could find him here. He says he doesn’t really have an assistant, and she says, somebody knew where he was. He says, it’s always lovely to see her. What brings her by? She says she actually had something personal she wanted to talk to him about, and Alexis says she just wants Gregory to know her schedule is free and she’s available to be his plus one. Tracy asks, plus one for what? and Gregory says, Brook and Chase’s wedding. Did she want to go somewhere? She says, no. Actually, Lois has been harassing her about nailing down the RSVPs, but now she can tell Lois they spoke. It’s great Alexis will be joining them on the big day. She leaves and, in the hallway, she looks sad.

Nina says she was so excited about her new venture, she just had to share. Being publisher of The Invader is allowing her to tell these new stories. She’s especially interested in exposing how those at the top are willing to do anything to stay there. So don’t they dare cancel their subscriptions. They won’t want to miss a beat. She leaves, and Drew says, can she believe that woman? Carly says, she’s hateful. They knew that. So why go out of his way to antagonize her?

Lucy goes into Brook’s office and says, Brook and Maxie are up to something, and Brook is going to tell her exactly what that is. Brook says, just trying to run Deception, that’s all, and Lucy says, so if she were to go to Tracy and suggest that maybe her true-blue granddaughter isn’t all she’s pretending to be, would she stick to the same story? Think about it. If she were to suggest to Brook’s dearly beloved granny Tracy, what would Brook think Tracy would think if she knew Brook and Maxie are conspiring against her express wishes for Deception? Brook says, Lucy doesn’t need to upset her that way. So tell her. What does Lucy want to make sure that doesn’t happen? Lucy says, easy. She wants in.

Sonny asks what Selina needs, and she says she’d like to resume her poker games. They were rather profitable, and their absence has sparked a demand for their return. He says, in exchange, she gives him access to her guard, and she says, access. Is that all? He says, and free reign to get what answers he needs by whatever means necessary. Ava listens in.

Tomorrow, Sasha asks what tricks Cody has up his sleeve; Carly asks Drew, what is the benefit of one-upping Nina; John says he’s shutting this operation down; and Sonny says, whoever did this is going to pay.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle meets with personal assistant Jenn, Erika, Kevin Lee (remember him?), and the event manager at the SoFi Stadium to plan the White Party. In Kyle’s interview, she says, the White Party is nostalgic for her. It’s always been about their family. We flash back to White Parties past, and she says she’d rather put her energy and focus on planning the party than her personal life. The White Party is back and bigger and better than ever. They check the place out and act stupid on the field. Kevin shows Erika the stage, and in Erika’s interview, she says she can’t believe Kyle is having her party there and asked her to perform. It’s a warmup for her Vegas residency and a chance to redeem herself. Erika Jayne is back and at SoFi. Take that. In Kyle’s interview, she says she learned about Kevin from LVP, and we flash back to bling, bling, bling, shi, shi, shi. She says, if she’s doing an over-the-top party, she needs an over-the-top planner.

Sutton goes to see jewelry designer Martin, bringing along her daughter Porter. In Sutton’s interview, she says, it’s a special day. Porter is home and she’s had her store for four years; they survived the pandemic. She wants to show Porter that as women, they can do this. They browse, and in her interview, Sutton says, in a previous life asking permission was not fun. This is freedom. She’s doing what she wants with no guilt. Martin shows her some jewelry that none of us will ever be able to afford in several lifetimes, like a 9-million-dollar ring. Sutton says her business manager would kill her and settles for $68K earrings. In her interview, she says she’s struggled about a lot of things since her divorce. She wants everyone, especially Porter to see she’s thriving and not being a cliché wealthy woman, sitting around planning galas in a muumuu with bonbons. We go to work. She tells Porter that it was hard when daddy said he was moving. When she married, she lost her independence, but now she can’t believe what she’s able to do. She wants Porter to know that, going forward in her life, keep her independence. Fall in love and have babies, but never lose that person. Don’t let the hard worker in her go. Then Porter can buy Sutton jewels.

The stadium is set up for the party and Erika’s concert, including white palm trees and a giant KYLE written in the middle of the floor. In Kyle’s interview, she says she wants the ground to open her up and swallow her whole. Why isn’t Kevin getting that it’s not all about her? She shades LVP, and I call her an a-hole.

Everyone gets ready, and Dorit calls PK in London. In her interview, she says, PK is still in London for work. He knew the White Party was on the calendar and knew how much it meant to her. She tells him, 8 months ago, if he’d delayed his return, it would have created resentment, but he says, back then, he wouldn’t have done that. She says, but he did, and in her interview, she says, PK says he’s starting to understand her PTSD better – we flash back to their therapy session – but his actions don’t show it. She tells him that she likes having him around, although sometimes he can be annoying. He says, sometimes, he can’t get a word in, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she has moments when she worried about them being able to stay together.

Mauricio wanders around, wondering where Kyle is, and backstage, Mikey gathers the performers together. He says, they haven’t done this in four years, so it’s extra pressure, a new look. The party guests enter by walking through a gauntlet of cheerleaders with pompoms and Sutton says, it’s freakin’ real cool. Mauricio says, they decided to throw something small, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, for someone who doesn’t drink and would rather stay home and read, it’s a contradiction. Go big or go home. The guests include the morally corrupt Faye Resnick, Cynthia Bailey, Jeff Lewis, and Camille Meyer (formerly Grammer). Dorit says, it’s so chic, because she desperately needs a thesaurus. Kyle comes out on the field with her daughters, but her big entrance isn’t very big, since no one notices except Sutton. In Sutton’s interview, she says, where is Mauricio? They’ve been looking for him since the memorial service.

Sutton tells Mauricio that Kyle is on the football field, and he says, right now? Mauricio tells the girls that they’re slaying, and Kyle tells Jeff, f*** him and his podcast talking sh*t about her. She’s never taken a diet drug. I believe it if you believe it. The party is on a platform in the middle of the field, and the dancers on stage have disco balls for heads. I wonder how they see. Denise arrives, committing the cardinal sin of wearing a pink jacket. In Dorit’s interview, she says, the last time she told Denise that her jacket was upside down, it didn’t go well. We flash back to that, and she says she doesn’t want to be the one to tell Denise it’s a White Party. Kyle talks about the first White Party when they were on a budget, and everyone tells her how amazing the party is. Truthfully, it looks pretty boring. Garcelle asks if Sutton has heard from Steve, and Sutton says, yes, two days after he ghosted her. She decided that’s not good enough, and Garcelle says, there are other Steves in the fish… in the sea. In Sutton’s interview, she says she gives her success on getting a second date and being asked on a third date to Allessandra. She’s more confident on how she presents herself, but dating isn’t as important as she thought. What she wants to date now is her business. That’s what she’s in love with. In Kyle’s interview, she says, the White Party is sentimental for her. Mauricio thought it was in the parking lot, and it shows he’s not listening. Does she look like the kind of person who’d have a party in a parking lot? Backstage, Mikey says, they haven’t done a prayer in four years, and Erika says, it’s been a few years, and she thanks and loves them. It’s been a long road. In Erika’s interview, she says she hates what the last few years have done to her, and we flash back over all that. There were times she quit caring what she looked like, ate, or what people thought of her. She thought she’d never perform again in her life. She thanks her people for being here and says, have a great show. In her interview, she says, if she hadn’t gone through what she’d gone through, it wouldn’t have led to SoFi and Vegas.

Kyle takes the mic and welcomes everyone. She says, they need some entertainment, and Erika comes out on the field with her dancers like a boxer in a hoodie. In Erika’s interview, she says, if it doesn’t go right, the buzz and momentum comes to a screeching halt. Kyle introduces the beautiful and talented Miss Erika Jayne.

Erika hits the stage to cheers applause and performs XXPEN$IVE. Zzzzz…. Same old. No Lady Gaga here. In Kyle’s interview, she says, Erika Jayne just made her comeback, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, Erika gave the people what they wanted. She’s a real showman. At the end, a bunch of streamers come down like it’s a disco, and in Erika’s interview, she says she wakes up, smiles, and feels good about the person she’s working on. Kyle tells Erika that she killed it. She’s proud of her. We see text that says, after Erika’s success, she’s planning more. Her Bet on Blonde is playing out. More text says, PK came home after 39 days, and in her interview, Dorit says, no matter how hard she tries, PK is never going to take her seriously and be as present as she’d like. Maybe he’ll never change. Can she accept that? She doesn’t know. We read that Dorit and Kyle haven’t spoken since December, and Annemarie and Crystal haven’t interacted since the White Party. Annemarie is also retired from giving out medical advice at cocktail parties. I’m confused, since we’re only halfway through the show. In Annemarie’s interview, she says, not everybody can get along and that’s fine. She’s all about pushing herself to be a better person. The text says, Crystal is accepting Jeff living part-time in Thailand and that he has a new girlfriend. They show a clip of Jeff telling Crystal and their mom that they have to trust them. Their job is over. The text says, and Crystal finally admitted to Rob that he was right. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, her takeaway from this season was meeting people where they’re at. She’s grown with setting boundaries and as a mom, realizing the boys need different things. She’s a better version of herself. We read that Garcelle is basking in all her skills and won the ASTA Award for Black Girl Missing, and we see her acceptance speech. In Sutton’s interview, she says, when she found out Christian was moving, she was scared. In becoming independent, she tapped back into the business side of herself. Now she’s on her own and not leaning on someone. She’s making it happen for herself. We read that Sutton continues to grow her brand. Her son James is with her full-time, and she’s put dating on hold. The new man in her life is Santos. She tells us that she and her esophagus are doing just fine. The women take a group photo.

One month later. Garcelle looks at her phone, and says, oh my God.

July 23, 2023. Crystal tells Rob that Kyle and Mauricio are separated after 27 years of marriage. Dorit tells PK that Kyle never gave any indication there was trouble, and Annemarie wonders if the People magazine exclusive came from Kyle to get ahead of what people are saying. Rob wonders, who planted the story? and Crystal tells him that he’s storyboarding a movie. Sutton calls Garcelle, and says she thinks there was truth leading up to this. The exercising, not drinking, the tattoos. When they asked questions, they got in trouble. Methinks she doth protest too much. Garcelle asks if Sutton thinks Kyle was lying the whole time, and Sutton says she thinks the whole thing is sus.

One day later. Kyle says, there was no wrongdoing on anyone’s part. The rumors are not true. We see Twitter posts (yeah, I know, X, but does anyone use that in reference?) about the separation, and in Kyle’s interview, she says, when the article came out, she was with Mauricio and the girls. All of their phones started blowing up. Mauricio was focused on who gave the story, and she was focused on how it’s affecting them. Alexia started to cry, and no one knew what to do or say. It felt like her whole life was over, life as she knew it. Erika goes to Kyle’s, and in Erika’s interview, she says, when she filed for divorce, she felt overwhelmed and alone. It’s important she be here for Kyle. Kyle was always good to her. Kyle didn’t shade her or push her out or judge her. If you care about people, you show up when they need you most. Erika tells Kyle that she needs to acknowledge and apologize for not being observant at the dinner. She didn’t know. We flash back to Sutton and Garcelle asking questions, and Erika says, if she missed something or wasn’t an attentive friend, she’s sorry. Kyle says, there was nothing to be observed. They were dealing with things in private. Erika says, like what? and Kyle says she feels bad talking about it. The hardest part is that it’s not one big, huge thing. Erika says, she can’t point at one thing and say, that’s it, and Kyle says, there are things she was needing and wanting more from her marriage that she just can’t get. Since the article came out, she’s seeing things like, obviously Mauricio cheated, or she cheated. It has literally nothing to do with anyone else; it’s just about them. Erika says, she can acknowledge how painful it is, and Kyle says, Mauricio is the kind of person who pretends everything is okay. That makes it hard. Erika says, she was told, everything is fine, and Kyle says, when they met, they were opposites, but it worked. She kept him safe and because of him, she took chances. They’ve been together since their early 20s and she was proud of it. Erika says she should still be proud of it, but Kyle says she’s not proud now. Erika asks, why? and she says she feels like she’s let down Mauricio, the kids, and even people who don’t know them. Complete strangers have said they looked up to them and they made them believe in true love. Erika says, there are only two people who matter, and everyone else’s opinion can f*** off. Make herself happy. She’s raised the girls, and she’s been a good wife, mother, sister, and daughter. Kyle says, what if they can’t work it out?

One week later. Mauricio tells Kyle that they’re opening an office in Panama, and in Kyle’s interview, she says, things are more uncomfortable since the article came out. It made it more real. Mauricio jokes that he’s glad she’s having the affair for once, and in her interview, Kyle says, the kids lived a fairytale, and the article pulled the rug out from under them. Things are worse than they told them. Farrah arrives, and Kyle asks all the girls come to the living room. She says she wants an open conversation and to clear anything up. Mauricio says, what’s most important is that they didn’t tell the girls anything because they tried to protect them, and now they were blindsided by the news being made public. They ask if the girls have any questions. Kyle reassures them that there’s been no talk of divorce, but they’re no strangers to rumors. One of the girls asks, what happens now? and Kyle says, they’re taking the time while they’re working to work through their own stuff. They’re figuring out what they want and are going to work through this while living under the same roof. She doesn’t want to leave and doesn’t want dad to leave. If it’s not working out, they’ll go on to the next step, and if it’s working, great. Porsha starts crying, and Kyle says, they’re not broken, just bent. They’re a strong family and always will be.

In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s come to realize she’s taking a big chance. They might not end up together. A producer asks what the issue is. What can’t Kyle let go of? Kyle says, things happened that made her lose her trust and they haven’t been able to recover from. We flash back to Kyle and Mauricio at the Pont des Arts Bridge in Paris, adding their lock to the bridge. We go down Memory Lane, and it makes me feel sad, even though I don’t care about these people. We read that Kyle reconciled with Kathy, and things are hunky dory for Whitney’s wedding. In her interview, Kyle says, Mauricio is still away. She wants to be at peace. She’s never had that. A producer asks, is she done? and she says, it’s over, and sobs.

Way to end a season. I hope I don’t have nightmares.

Next time – the Reunion – Dorit says, Kyle sent her a text, silencing her; Kyle says she’s holding a crystal and Erika says she’s holding a Xanax; Erika wants Andy to eviscerate Kyle; Sutton says, Kyle was relentlessly mean to her – watch the show; Crystal wonders if she’ll get an apology from Annemarie for the eating disorder remark; Dorit accuses Garcelle of peddling a false narrative; Andy asks Kyle if she sees herself with Morgan; Kathy joins the group; and Sutton has some kind of attack.

🚬 Dave’s Not Here…

Stop by tomorrow for some soap and a gathering of entertaining info. Until then, stay safe, stay cultivating a positive digital footprint, and stay showing up for people you care about when they need you most.