What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian says Kim is leaving Port Charles, and didn’t want to tell him, but told Drew? She says she didn’t, but he says he overheard Drew wishing her good luck. She says she can’t bear to live there without Oscar. She sees his ghost, and remembers every moment. Julian says this will pass eventually. She’ll stop grieving so much; it won’t be so overwhelming. She can lean on him. She says she has to leave before the grief swallows up what’s left of her life.

Alexis says she’ll have to start from scratch with a new therapist, and Neil says he’ll leave it up to her to find one that meets her needs. He’s not the right guy. She says, funny. She thought he was… the right guy. He starts to leave, and she follows him out to the porch. She says she believes there’s some connection between them. At least there is with her.

Cameron is in the park, picking up trash, when Trina and Josslyn start helping him. HE asks what they’re doing, and Josslyn says they’re helping him so he can come with them to Samson Point. A picnic on the beach is better than picking up trash. Trina says, that’s what friends are for. He tells them to put it back before they get him in anymore trouble.

At the MetroCourt Molly ask TJ, what’s up? He said he wanted to have lunch, and there was something he wanted to talk to her about. He says, there is. Her future.

At Kelly’s, Sasha reminisces about the beautiful beach, and Michael says there’s a lot of beauty right there too. She says she’s going to miss island life, especially their afternoon naps. He says they didn’t do much sleeping, and she says, exactly. He tells her they can continue the custom there, and they kiss. Sonny walks in, and clears his throat. Michael says he didn’t see Sonny, and Sonny says he noticed. Should he keep going? Michael hugs him, and Sonny asks when Michael got back. Michael says, about an hour ago, and asks if Sonny wants to join them, and reintroduces him to Sasha. Sonny says, not that he has to ask, but how was the island?

Drew asks Curtis if he found anything. Curtis says that Cabot was registered at the MetroCourt, but already checked out. Drew thinks maybe he was looking for a more private place. Curtis says, this isn’t going anywhere good. First, Shiloh is asking about Drew’s memories, then the flashdrive is stolen. Drew says, and the doctor who did the original operation shows up. Curtis wonders why he’s back, and Drew says, maybe someone told him help they’d help him finish his life work. Curtis says, someone with not much left lose, and the information to give them a way out. Drew says, it all goes back to Shiloh.

Jason has Shiloh up against the wall, and squeezes his throat. Shiloh says Jason has to make a choice. Hold on to his memories, or give Sam a chance at life. The clock is ticking, and Sam is running out of air. Everything is ready to transfer Drew’s memories into Jason’s brain. It’s his choice; his memories or Sam’s life.

At the MetroCourt, Maxie tells Peter, hey. He says, hey what? She says nothing, just hey. She likes having lunch with him. He says he does too, and she asks why he seems miles away. He says he thinks he overstepped with Lulu. He told her that her husband is an idiot.

Julian says Kim already discussed leaving with Drew, not him. Kim says she ran into Drew. As always, he reminded her of Oscar, and she felt her chest tighten. Every day since Oscar died, she’s realized she’s literally choking on missing her son. She came to Port Charles in the hope that Oscar would be able to connect to his family; his father’s family. Oscar was able to do more than she could have wished. He found his father, and got an extended family; a sense of where he came from, and a sense of belonging. He found Josslyn, and had love. Oscar found a home there, and she can’t bear to be there without him. Julian says, the ironic thing is, he thought she’d found a home too. Starting with her walking into Charlie’s, and fixing his espresso machine. She’s not just walking away from ghosts, but him.

Sasha has to go to work, and Sonny suggests she come by. He can cook her dinner. She says she’d love that. Michael says he’ll call her, and she leaves. Michael tells Sonny, that was pretty fast. He went from good to see you, to come over for dinner. Sonny says it will give him a chance to get to know her better.

Lucy calls bulk pickup. Sam hears, but can’t open her eyes. Lucy finds out the truck is on its way, and says she appreciates their quick service.

Drew tells Curtis about Cabot filling the prescription for the drugs used in the memory transfer procedure. He thinks Shiloh and Cabot are gathering the necessary pieces to get his memories off the flashdrive.

Neil says he won’t disrespect Alexis by pretending there isn’t a connection, but thinks the best think is to acknowledge it, and part ways. Alexis says he’s right; he wins. She acknowledges they’ve crossed the point of no return as far as him being her therapist. So it makes sense to go back to being strangers at the bar. He says they know too much about each other, and she says, possibly, but he still likes her, doesn’t he? He says he does, and she says prior knowledge has benefits. He says he knows she’s not over her ex-husband yet.

Maxie tells Peter, if Dante is giving up, it’s not because he’s a jerk, but because he loves them that much. He knows it’s not safe, and doesn’t want them hurt. Peter says he is hurting them. Maxie says, that’s what makes it horrible. It’s heartbreaking, but if Dante believes it’s the best thing, she trusts him. She knows her viewpoint is different from when they went to the WSB, but she was wrong and learned her lesson. She ask if there’s any more crow she needs to eat, and Peter says she’s had enough. She says sorry she didn’t listen to him. He tried to warn her. It speaks to what he’s been through. He says she’s been through a lot too, but she says it’s different. Peter has been up close and personal with what the violence and trauma do. Dante has changed into someone she doesn’t recognize. Peter says he feels terrible, and she says she does too. She doesn’t know what to do, and he tells her, just be a friend. Maxie says, like he was for her.

TJ says he thinks Molly is brilliant. She graduated with honors and got in the top-tier schools, but she chose PCU to be close to home. She says, and close to him. She asks if he thinks she made a mistake, but he says, no. He’s watched her, and the thing he’s seen her be most passionate about was writing the exposé on DOD. She was on fire. He thinks she’d make a great lawyer, but… She says he doesn’t think she’ll be happy. He says, maybe, but he’s seen it in medical school. It’s difficult, but he has genuine passion for it. He’s seen people who think they should go to med school, or have chosen a safe career because they’re good at science. Those are the people who burn out. Molly says, medical school is hard, and TJ says, it’s brutal, but he gets more out of it than he puts in. He thinks she’s too gifted, too full of life, and too young for that to be her only option because people expect it.

Curtis says if Shiloh will have to go through him first, if he wants to get to Drew. Drew thanks him, but thinks if Shiloh was after him, he’d know by now. Curtis says, but it’s Drew’s memories Shiloh wants. Drew says, he and Shiloh might have been at odds in Afghanistan, but it’s his brother who ruined Shiloh’s life. They need to locate Jason.

Kim tells Julian that she did find a home, and she fell in love with a remarkable man. He was her only lifeline. He says she was his as well. He loves it when she calls him Charlie. Charlie is a better man than Julian, and she gave that to him. She tells him not to underestimate himself. He’s a good man, and deserves better than she can give him. It’s better for him if she goes. Julian says she keeps saying love, but she doesn’t love him enough to stay or ask him to go with her. Be honest. Maybe she’s not just putting Port Charles behind her. Maybe she wants to put him behind her as well.

Josslyn tells Cameron, they just picked everything up. Trina adds that it was super disgusting. If he doesn’t want to go, just say so. He tells them, it’s not like chores at home. He has to work a certain amount of hours. If he finishes, they’ll just send him somewhere else. Josslyn says, they’ve got this. She knows exactly what to do.

Curtis says Sam isn’t picking up, and Drew says, neither did Jason. Curtis says they have enough charges lined up to put Shiloh away for life. Drew says if Shiloh thinks payback is wiping out Jason’s memories, then Jason is about to lose his connection to life as he knows it.

Shiloh tells Jason, make up his mind before time makes it up for him. Jason lets Shiloh go, and looks around the room. Shiloh tells him, Sam said she was a diver. She can probably hold her breath for pretty long. Jason picks up metal trinket bowl shaped like a hand, and punches Shiloh totally out, hitting him with the bowl as well. He leaves, and Shiloh lies there with his mouth open. I laugh, thinking about canaries flying around his head.

Maxie tells Peter that she warmed up to his warm to his presence. He let her feel what she needed to feel, and didn’t jump in with advice. She thinks Lulu needs someone like that.

TJ asks Molly if he’s totally off-base. She says, no. She loves writing, but maybe she was fired up because of Kristina being involved with DOD, and how much she hated what Shiloh was doing to her. He asks if she doesn’t owe it to herself to find out, and she says, maybe. He suggests instead of the summer class she was going to take to get a leg up for law school, she should intern as a writer. There’s no downside. She says, what if she loves it, and he asks how that’s a downside. She says she’d be done with school in three years, and then another two. She’ll be hired by a serious firm, and make serious money, and they can make a dent in their student loans. TJ says he works with people who are seriously ill or dying. She doesn’t want to be there seventy years from now, never having achieved her ambition, but having gotten the bills paid.

Lucy shows Sasha the house, telling her not to pay attention to the garbage. She’s having it hauled away. BTW, this is the neatest, cleanest pile of garbage ever. Sasha says the house is too big for one person, and Lucy says that’s where her imagination comes into play. If the seller doesn’t get the price they want, they might turn it into condos. They go inside.

Sonny says he knows Michael will tell him what he needs to know when the time is right. He can see Sasha is a love woman; intelligent, with a great smile. He suggests Michael play it close to the vest with his mother. She’s eager for him to move on, and might want to help things along. Michael says, there’s no help needed.

Kim tells Julian not to think she wants to leave him. She doesn’t think she could have survived losing Oscar without him. She can’t ask him to continue being a crutch. He says he’s not, but she’s afraid he’ll become one if she stays. Everyone tells her things will get better, but they’re getting worse. She feels like she’s fading away. Julian asks if it would be better for her to go to a town where no one knows her. Would she be happier completely alone? She says she can’t ask him to come. He has a family, and was just accepted back into Lucas’s life. How can she ask him to leave his son, when she’d give anything for one more day with hers. He says she’s doing a brilliant job with no debate or argument. Will she let him speak? She needs to be honest, and not equivocate. If he if wanted to come, would she want him to?

Josslyn and Trina have a picnic right in the park, and throw their trash around, some of it at Cameron. He says they’re having way too much fun with this. They keep throwing things, and he says, enough with the napkins. Josslyn runs off to get food, and Trina says, it worked, didn’t it? and Cameron admits Trina did a great job getting Josslyn out of the house. Trina says she told Josslyn that she’d be doing him a favor. She always steps up for a friend. Cameron says, if getting hit by napkins gets Josslyn to smile, bring it on.

Peter tells Maxie that he likes thinking about those times. Not the pain she was going through, but how he could do something to help her. It was new to him; being there for someone. He looked forward to doing something for her. It was terrifying when he realized he was falling for her. That’s when it got scary. What if she didn’t feel the same, or what if she did? Maxie says, real relationships are terrifying, but there are wonderful feelings too. Terror is a good thing. It means he’s all in. Peter says, with her, he has no choice, and they kiss.

Molly asks if TJ is saying he’ll no longer respect her if she doesn’t pitch herself for the internship with Peter. He says he’ll always love and respect her, but he does want her to go over there.

Michael says he ran into someone who knew Sonny on the island. They were unsuccessful in making a deal with him – Sandy Lance. She stayed at the MetroCourt when she was in town. Sonny’s phone rings. It’s Drew, who asks if Jason is with him. Sonny says, no; what’s up? Drew says he and Curtis think Shiloh put a target on Jason’s back. They can’t locate Jason or Sam. Sonny says he’ll find them, and tells Drew to track down Shiloh. Drew says to let him know Jason is okay. Michael asks, what is it? Is something wrong with Jason? Sonny says, Drew thinks so. It involves Shiloh. Michael says he’ll come with Sonny.

Alexis tells Neil that they have struggles to get over, but she has no intention of getting back with Julian. Neil says they can’t go back to being two people who met in a bar. Therapist isn’t a switch he can turn on and off. She says that’s what she likes about him; his humanity. He says she doesn’t know him. She asks if he wants to come back in, and he follows her inside. She asks how about if they find a way to get equal footing. Give her a chance to get to know him. Unless he thinks she’s too damaged to risk getting close to.

Sasha tells Lucy, even if the owner converts the house, it will take months. Lucy says because Sasha is a friend of the owner, she might be able to speed up the timeframe. It’s Michael Corinthos; she’ll be in good hands. Sasha says she’ll have to pass. It’s a conflict of interest. Lucy says Sasha is overthinking it. Michael is absolutely adorable. She’s absolutely adorable. Lucy remembers them at the Nurses Ball, and they looked amazing together. She asks if Sasha’s had a chance to think about her offer, but Sasha says she’s not a model. Lucy says she’s a natural beauty. She’s been thinking, she loves real estate, but maybe the universe is telling her to take a different path. Lucy believes Sasha is the face to relaunch Deception. They walk away, as Lucy tells Sasha about the company. Inside the freezer, Sam sleeps.

Shiloh opens his eyes. He struggles to get up. He looks around, and throws a mini tantrum. He takes a gun out a drawer, and puts it in the back of his pants as he stumbles out. He actually misses getting it into his waistband a couple of times, which is pretty funny, and I wonder if unplanned.

Josslyn brings Cameron a hotdog. He says he’s working, but she says he has time. He says they did a killer job. This will definitely take him until the end of his shift to clean up. Trina says, he’s welcome. He says it’s not sunny enough for the beach; maybe a movie? Josslyn doesn’t know, but he says he’s been working in the heat all afternoon. He wants to do something fun. Josslyn says only if she gets to pick the movie, and he says, okay. Trina tells Cameron, keep up the good work, and leaves with Josslyn.

Jason arrives at the old DOD house, and calls to Sam. He asks him to help him find her, and make some noise. He kicks the door to the house in, and asks her to answer him.

Molly tells Peter that she’s sorry to interrupt. She ask if he read her work on DOD. She did great preliminary research, and wonders if he’s still interested in the article. He tells her, the story already broke, but he appreciates the time and effort. Maxie says she heard Molly is going to law school in the fall. Molly says that’s the plan, but she’s interested in exploring being a writer/reporter, and would like to intern with Peter. He says her work on DOD was spot on. Does she have anything else in her pocket? She says she had the courage to pitch herself. He says there might be something he has for her. Something she’s uniquely qualified to write. Maxie says, do tell. Molly looks over at TJ, who gives her the okay sign.

Jason says he knows Sam is there. He sees the freezer, and has a lightbulb moment. He pushes everything off of it, and says he’s going to get her. Lucy comes back, and asks what he’s doing. He tells her Sam is locked inside, and to call 911.

On the phone, Sonny tells someone to check the abandoned warehouse. He tells Michael, no sign of Sam or Jason. His phone rings. It’s Lucy, but he says she can wait. I swear, Jason said 911, not Sonny. Michael comes joins him, and says, no sign of Sam or Jason. His phone rings, and he says, it’s Lucy, but Sonny says, she can wait. Michael tells Sonny that Curtis and Drew are checking the motel where Shiloh is staying. Where else? His phone rings again, and Sonny repeats, Lucy can wait, but Michael answers. He says he can’t talk, and Lucy says, don’t talk; listen. Sam is in trouble, and they have to hurry. Jason gets a crowbar, and starts prying the freezer lid.

Drew and Curtis go to the Midwood, and check Shiloh’s room. Curtis says it’s clear, but sees the trinket bowl on the ground. He picks it up (using a cloth), and says, there’s blood on it. Drew asks, whose is it? Wow. He must think Curtis has psychic powers.

Jason gets the freezer open, and sees Sam.

Cameron sees a guy sitting with his head down in the park. He asks if the guy is okay, and says he needs to get help. Shiloh looks up, and Cameron says he knows who Shiloh is.

Jason lifts Sam out of the freezer, and tells her to open her eyes.

Molly says Peter wants her to write about the Cassadine family? He says she’s uniquely qualified to do it, and he only knows Valentin. He wants to know more. She says, okay, and he says he looks forward to seeing what she comes up with.

Jason does mouth to mouth. Sam breathes, and opens her eyes. He says he’s got her.

Molly tells TJ that he’s a genius. He asks if she’s in, and she says, yes. They decide to go home and celebrate, and run out holding hands. Maxie says, see how happy they are? She thinks it’s great. She likes Molly, and thinks she’ll do a great job on the story, but… Peter says, but? and she says, the Cassadines? Does he think it’s a good subject? They’re seriously creepy. He thinks it’s a good story that readers will want to absorb. She has to trust him. She might be the relationship expert, but he knows a thing or two about running a paper. She says she does trust him, and he says, good to hear.

Neil says Alexis isn’t damaged, and she says she has a lot of baggage. He had to unpack it. He says she has life experiences that would destroy a weaker person. She’s a passionate woman who’s willing to walk through fire for what she wants. Alexis says, she’s a real catch. He says she told him that she didn’t want to get involved. As her therapist… She says, he’s fired. They both use their professional lives to protect their personal stuff. The question is, do they want to know each other better or not? He says, they can’t, and walks out.

Julian says their love exists solely because of how they are with each other. He loves her, and doesn’t need to be in Port Charles to do that. She says it has to be the right decision for him. What about the pub? He says, people drink in other places, and she asks what about his family, his grandchildren? He says they’re not talking about Bora Bora. They can visit. She asks if he’s sure, and he says he wants this always. Wherever she leads, he’s going to follow. They kiss.

Lucy brings Sam some water, and says Sonny is on his way. Sam says, Shiloh. Jason says he left Shiloh unconscious at the motel. Sonny arrives, and calls Drew. He says they found Jason. It’s a long story, but he’s with Sam right now. It was Shiloh. Drew says they’re at the motel, and there was some kind of struggle, but no sign of Shiloh.

We see garbage all over the park parking lot, along with Cameron’s pick-up stick. But no Cameron.

Tomorrow, Sasha thinks she’s caught the bug, Nina tells Valentin that Jax is up to something, and Jason tells Sam that Shiloh isn’t going to win.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

It’s a new season, and I guess Vicki is a friend, and they’ve added Braunwyn.

Tamra rides her scooter up to her new house, where Eddie waits in the driveway. He tells her not to go without helmet, and she says, okay, dad. Gina plays with her chinchilla. Emily’s children harass the dog. Shannon goes to the gym. In her interview, Shannon says she lost forty pounds, and gained a lot of fun. Fun Shannon is back. I wonder if fun Shannon was ever there. She says, it’s been two years of hell, and we flash back to some of that. She tells us, the hardest work was changing the inside; getting to a place where she knew she’d be okay. That’s when the weight started coming off. There’s been a lot of change, and thank goodness her marriage ended. She knows she’ll be okay whether she has a partner in life or not, but she does want one. She brings her daughters to meet with trainer Steve. Her daughters don’t seem too keen on working out though.

Gina is still moving into her new place. She calls her father. In her interview, she says that living with Matt wasn’t the right situation for the kids. It’s the first time she’s living on her own. It’s a lot of responsibility. She shows her dad the house over the phone. She says the kids know they’re getting a divorce. The little ones don’t get it, but that’s better; they’re happy. She’s bummed today because of a decision she made to drive that night. We see the headlines from her DUI. She says she went to a local moms event, and drank some wine. She should never have driven. It’s her worst defining moment ever. I don’t know when she filmed these interview pieces, but I’m not loving her look. She’s way too blonde, and looks like a bloated Christina Aguilera. She says she disappointed her dad, but he says he’s not disappointed. She holds herself accountable, and gets knocked down, but he’s never seen her not get up. She’s the best mom, and her kids love her. In Gina’s interview, she says she doesn’t want her kids to remember her for what she did wrong, but for what she did after. Her dad says she’s fantastic, and he loves her.

Kelly calls boyfriend Brian from the car. She’s going for drinks with Shannon. He tells her that she’s off the market now. In her interview, Kelly says she and Brian have been dating for three months. He works at the place where she got her boobies done. He’s intelligent, loving, and caring. They’re in love. He says he has something for her. She asks, is it jewelry? Is it a purse? He wants to surprise her. In Kelly’s interview, she says she sees a complete difference in Shannon from last year. She was heavy and angry last year, but this year, she’s lost weight and she isn’t negative. Kelly is proud of her. She gets to Shannon’s house, and Shannon says she’s excited to go out. She’s been having fun. Kelly says she heard. Her girlfriend sent her a picture. Shannon’s got some game. In Shannon’s interview, she says she has a couple of people on the bench, and a fan favorite with a good batting average. Kelly asks if Shannon has been doing squats, and Shannon demonstrates. Kelly says, let’s go find some dudes.

Tamra hangs out in the kitchen with mom Sandy and her fiancé Frank. Son Ryan and Eddie are also there, making Moscow mules. Eddie says they joined the country club. Tamra dances around with the membership folder, and says, they’re very fancy. Eddie says, she’s stoked. In Tamra’s interview, she says they’re moving on up. They moved to a double-gated community on a golf course. Vicki is her neighbor, as well as Jeana from the earlier seasons. She has a $2 million house, that had been remodeled by an interior decorator. In her interview, she says, it’s very Cape Cod, but with a modern twist. It is really nice, but it’s huge. Tamra asks Ryan to resolve his political differences with his brother Spencer. In her interview, Tamra says Ryan is a fanatical Trump supporter, and Spencer is the total opposite. Ryan says, there’s nothing wrong loving America. Tamra tells him that he said he was going to punch Spencer in the face. Ryan say it was the way Spencer was talking to him. Spencer called him a racist. In Ryan’s interview, he says Spencer was offended because he supported building a wall.  Tamra says, is he? and he says, no. Half of his family is Black and Mexican. She says she’s not into politics, and he says they can watch FOX News together. She asks, what about CNN? and ha-ha! his face. In Tamra’s interview, she says Ryan and Spencer were raised differently. Ryan was in daycare, sometimes the lights were turned off, and it was Chuck E. Cheese for birthdays. She thinks he sees what Spencer has, and there’s jealousy between them. She tells Ryan that she doesn’t like her kids not talking. She thinks, as the older brother, he should be the one to make up. Ryan gets ready to jet, and Tamra say she thinks it’s time they bury the hatchet. She doesn’t want weirdness. Spencer thinks Ryan hates him. Ryan says he doesn’t, but Spencer crossed the line, and wasn’t worried about repercussion. Ryan isn’t kicking his ass, but says Tamra can talk to him.

Shannon wants to document the night, and takes a picture. She and Kelly go to The Quiet Woman, and I laugh, since it wasn’t so quiet when they were there before. Shannon babbles to manager Julius about the last time she was there with Kelly, and how she threw a plate. We flash back to that, and in her interview, Shannon says who would have thought she’d be there with Kelly, at the scene of the crime. Life is full of surprises, and you don’t know what’s coming. She tells Kelly that she met someone out of state that she likes the most. She’s been all over the map. She loves having girl time, and says Kelly was there for her this summer. She says she hasn’t seen Gina or Emily, and Kelly asks if she read about Gina’s DUI. Shannon says, it’s the stupidest thing ever, and Kelly says, there’s no reason for it. I agree. In Kelly’s interview, she says she’s not perfect, but Gina is a serious hot mess right now. Shannon says, she had the audacity to use the term self-medicate. It cost Shannon money to defend herself in court. In her interview, she says because of Gina’s statement, David tried to put certain limits on her custodial rights. She’d said Shannon admitted to self-medicating, but Shannon never said that. Some of Kelly’s friends stop by. In Kelly’s interview, she says she’s nervous for Shannon to meet her friend Braunwyn. Shannon typically doesn’t like new people. We flash back to how rude Shannon has been to every new Housewife. Kelly says Shannon needs to give them a chance to build a bond, but when she meets them, she acts close-minded and insecure. She wants Shannon to meet Bronwyn.

Shannon’s friend Ken drops by. Kelly says, he’s in good shape, and he’s got hair. In Kellys’ interview, She says, last year, Shannon had no bench and no game. Not even a water boy. This year, Kelly’s giving her the baton. He tells Shannon that she looks pretty, and she kisses him. Braunwyn arrives, and Kelly introduces her to Shannon. Kelly says Braunwyn has seven kids. Shannon says, amazing, and Braunwyn says, it’s crazy, but fun. Although sometimes she does wonder, what did she do? Kelly says she hated nursing, and Braunwyn says she did it for eighteen years. Shannon wants to know how she has seven children and looks like that. Braunwyn says her mom is sixty-four, and still wears a bikini. We see a picture, and she looks damn good. She says her mom is into plant based medicine, and Shannon likes her already. In her interview, Shannon says, tonight is about fun. She’s going to dance, and get home when she wants to, and talk to who she wants to. She only has to answer to herself. She dances with Braunwyn, even though there’s no dance floor.

Emily tells us that Shane is studying for the bar for the third time. He studies from early morning to late at night, and she gets it – she’s an attorney – but when he’s spending that much time and energy doing that, there’s not much left for a wife and children at home. She’s overwhelmed and not working out. Everything is falling apart. She FaceTimes with Shane. She says he’s not in the library, and he says, it was closed. He’s at his parents’ house. She says she thought it was a pretty fancy library. He jokes that it’s his girlfriend’s house. I know he’s joking, since Emily is the only one who could possibly put up with his nonsense. She says his girlfriend must have a lot of money. The kids are climbing all over the place. In Emily’s interview, she says, there’s not much communication. She’s just letting him study. If he doesn’t pass the bar, the family is going to implode. She hopes that doesn’t happen. She says she needs him to come home and help. He says she’s doing fine.

Kelly and Jolie go to a cat café. In her interview, Kelly says she was thinking of getting a farrow cat. The producer corrects her, saying, it’s feral. She’s disappointed, since she wanted to name it Will Farrow. She got that wrong too, but they let it slide. They go into Catmosphere, and have to sign a waiver first, which makes Kelly a little nervous. In Kelly’s interview, she says they live in Newport Beach, which is beautiful, but has a rat problem. She doesn’t like cats, but thinks she wants one. She points out that she does find herself in a lot of cat fights, and we flash back to a couple of those. She mentions that they’ve been known to have coyotes, and a staff member tells her they prefer the adopted cats be indoor cats. In her interview, Kelly says no way she wants an indoor cat. They poop and pee in a box. It’s gross. This place is really cool; there are cat condos, cat toys, and cats everywhere. Jolie wants Kelly to pet one of the cats, but Kelly says she doesn’t like to touch p*ssy. She and Jolie sit, and Kelly asks if Jolie’s dad has asked her if she’s met Brian. Jolie says, no, but Kelly thinks he has because he freaked out on her. He’s had a girlfriend for years, and has never introduced her to Jolie. Jolie says that’s because he knows she’s judgmental. In Kelly’s interview, she says she thinks it’s serious, so it’s right for Jolie to meet him. A cat jumps on the back of the couch, and Kelly gets all weird.

Emily and Gina meet for lunch. Emily asks, what happened? Gina says she was at a mom’s event, and drinking wine throughout the night. It was a little cup that they kept topping off. Emily asks if she didn’t know how much she drank, and Gina says she did, but she felt okay. She made a last minute decision to go, and just wanted to get home. She made a bad choice. They order, and Emily asks, when Gina was pulled over, did she think DUI? but Gina says, no. She thought it was a ticket. Her friend in the passenger seat had a Negroni, and the next thing she knew, they were asking her to get out of the car. In Emily’s interview, she says, from a legal perspective, a DUI is not a good thing. You can get your license taken away, it can affect your job, and you’re always known as the person with a DUI – a heavy drinker who makes bad decisions. She says the worst part was telling her parents. In her interview, Gina says the cells have clear walls, and the first thing she saw was a man who was handcuffed, smashing his face against the glass over and over, with blood going everywhere. She tells Emily that she didn’t know what was scarier; staying in jail or coming out, knowing she had to tell her parents. She says she has unconditional love for Emily, no matter what. She starts to cry, and Emily asks what Matt said. Gina says he was the first person she told, and he really supported her. She asks if Emily is disappointed in her. Emily says, no… yeah.

During the commercial break, there’s a PSA that tells us, buzzed driving is drunk driving.

Emily says it was a dumb thing to do. Gina is lucky it’s not a custody issue. Gina says it’s like ammo. In Emily’s interview, she thinks Gina’s divorce is more difficult than she’s letting on. She’s internalizing her feelings, and it’s manifesting in depression, drinking, and bad decisions. She tells Gina that she’s lucky no one was hurt or injured. Since those are the same thing, I’m guessing she doesn’t want to say Gina could have killed someone. She knows Gina is a good person who made a bad choice, and knows going forward, she won’t make that type of decision again. She’s a good mom and Emily loves her. They hug.

Braunwyn brings a baby downstairs, who starts to wail immediately after being put in the highchair. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says she knew she wanted a lot of kids. Moderation is not her thing. They have Bella, Rowan, Jacob, twins Caden and Curren, Kao and baby Hazel. She says the first question most people ask is if they’re Mormons, Catholic, or Orthodox. She laughs, and says they just like to drink vodka too much. I like her already. She says she was born in a trailer park, and her mom fell in love with a surfer. Her grandfather was wealthy, and they lived with him for a while. She knew she wanted a comfortable life. Husband Sean has bought and sold tech companies. He has an innovative group of people who do stuff she doesn’t understand. I nod, since my husband works in 3-D printing. She says Sean has a naughty side no one but her knows about, and she likes it. they’ve been married nineteen years. She met him at a frat party, and on the first date said she never wanted work and wanted five kids. He didn’t run. They moved back to the OC from Miami, where they’d gone for vacation, and never left. She says in the OC, parenting is a competitive sport. Someone asked if she thought her kindergartener’s class was competitive enough – he digs in the dirt.

Kelly visits Brian at his office. His assistant brings in roses for her, and he has Kelly close the door. She says, it feels weird, but he assures her, it’s nothing weird. He wants to thank her for the last couple months. He takes her hand, and they kiss across his desk. He gives her a card and box. The card is corny, but not too much. She opens the box, and he says, it’s Zofia Day, a hot designer. Kelly takes out a pair of diamond earrings. She says, rose gold, her favorite, and he says, he knows; he listens to her. In her interview, she says she’s glad it wasn’t a ring. That’s not where she wants to be proposed to. She puts the earrings on. They’re beautiful, a long row of diamonds cascading down. I have a necklace like that, but it’s only three diamonds and it’s from Kay’s. She tell him Jolie is warming up to him. He’s glad, and says he can understand Michael being concerned, but he thinks when they meet, he’ll feel better. Kelly says she doesn’t think Michael wants to meet. In her interview, she says she thinks Michael is jealous. They’re moving fast, and this means he’ll lose her forever. Everything is a dig when it comes to Brian. Brian tells her, don’t worry about what you can’t control. Kelly says she just wants to have a great relationship with Michael.

Tamra drives Shannon to Brian’s office. He performed Shannon’s face tightening procedure. We see clips from that, and I’d rather not. He’s called her to come in. In her interview, Shannon says she’s a single lady, and wants to look her best. With a few little tweaks, it’s a new Shannon transformation. Tamra tells Shannon that she’s thinking of having a party this Saturday; a daytime barbecue. She sees Kelly’s car, and makes jokes about the color.

Brian introduces himself, and Tamra asks if he’s Kelly’s squeeze. He says he’s her boyfriend; it’s official. I wish we had another word for when you’re past college age. Lover is a little too personal, and significant other is too long. Tamra and Shannon go to in the back, where Kelly is getting Botox. In Tamra’s interview, she says, Kelly is a handful. She’s curious to see where this is going. Brian goes over whatever with Shannon, and they look at before and after pictures. In her interview, Shannon explains that it’s similar to a facelift, but with little downtime. Kelly suggests Shannon get a boob job. In her interview, she says, no guy wants to motorboat pancake t*tties. Tamra says they’re not finished with the house yet, but she wants to have an informal barbecue. Kelly says she had plans with Braunwyn, but Tamra says to bring her. Brian says he’s going to be with his son out of town.

Tamra asks Kelly if it’s okay for her to invite Vicki. Kelly says if she sees Vicki, she’s walking the other way. Tamra says she doesn’t want to break any girl code, but Kelly says to invite her. In Kelly’s interview, she says, at this point in time, there have been years of destruction with Vicki. We flash back to a huge argument between them. She says, now Vicki has accused her of doing cocaine. We flash back to Vicki’s insinuation at the last reunion. Kelly says Vicki has hurt her in so many ways. Her daughter says she can’t bring friends home because the parents think she does drugs. In Tamra’s interview, she says she knows she’s taking a big risk inviting both Kelly and Vicki. She’s concerned it will end up like Eddie’s party last year. We flash back to Kelly calling Shane a little bitch. Tamra knows they can get along. It takes time, but neither one of them is taking the steps they need to get there. Tamra texts Vicki, who says okay. Like she’s going to miss an occasion to be on film. Kelly tells Tamra that she has nothing to say to Vicki. They have nothing in common, and she doesn’t care. She asks if she should get drunk and sloppy. Then that chick is really going in the pool.

Next time, Shane feels harassed, Jolie tells Kelly the kids are calling her a cokehead, and Vicki wants to talk to Kelly at the party.

⬇ From Wife To Friend…

The OG of the OC has officially been demoted. No orange for you!

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/08/239851/is-vicki-gunvalson-on-real-housewives-of-orange-county-demoted

But Shannon isn’t having it.

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/shannon-beador-on-vicki-gunvalsons-rhoc-role-after-demotion/

🍹 Unless She Meant Turnip…

I assume by turn-up level, she means Sonja was drunk and she’d never be able to extract herself gracefully. I met Kristen at a radio station cocktail party, and she was lovely. Ramona was supposed to be there too, but no surprise, she ditched it for something better. They had the best wine and hors d’oeuvres too.

https://pagesix.com/2019/08/02/kristen-taekman-avoids-sonja-morgan-at-event/

☕ Another Case Of Pot and Kettle…

Lots of lawsuits on plates in Beverly Hills.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/08/rhobh-star-erika-jayne-sued-over-husbands-unpaid-loan/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

⚾ ‘Tis the Season…

And the center of the week.