What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Brook meets Lois at the MetroCourt, walking to the table with her face buried in her phone. She tells Lois that she’s just sending one… last… text, and Lois asks what that’s about. Brook says, she’s about to sign a very important client, and Lois gasps, telling her, congratulations. Brook says, let her reiterate, she’s about to; she hasn’t signed them yet. Lois says, but she will, and Brook says she doesn’t think she can breathe easy until she signs this contract. Lois says she’s so proud of Brook, and wonders if she can ask Brook a question. Is she happy being back in the music business? Brook says, yes, of course (🍷). She should have never left. Lois says, not everybody agrees.

At another table, Mac and Doc hug, and Mac says, it’s good to have him back. Doc says, it’s good to be back in Port Charles. He understands Mac had his hands full as acting Police Commissioner. Mac says, it’s been a lot. There was one case, or one perp in particular, that really got to him.

Cody knocks on Sam’s door, and Sam tells him, Dante’s not here right now, but he says he’s actually here to see her. She says, in that case, come in. What a nice surprise. He says, in that case, be prepared to be even more surprised. She asks, what’s going on? and he says, for the first time, he’s actually not here to ask her a favor. He’s just here to say, thank you.

Maxie and Lucy walk into Lucy’s office to find Tracy looking through a folder at Lucy’s desk. Lucy asks what she’s doing here, and Tracy says she thought all high-level, hardworking executives took lunch at their desks. Lucy says, actually, it was a working lunch. They were discussing what a pain in the rear new shareholder they have. Tracy asks if she means her boss, and Lucy says, yes, obtained through blackmail and a hostile takeover. So what is it she wants? Maxie tells Tracy, what Lucy is trying to say is, what can they do for her? and Tracy says she doesn’t have to remind them that she owns 51% of this company, and as such she expects to be informed of all major decisions before they happen. Maxie says, such as? and Tracy says, changing the Face of Deception.

Sasha looks at a photo of her and Brando, holds it to her chest, and sighs. She puts it in bubble wrap and places it in an empty kitchen drawer. There’s a knock at the door, and she opens it to Dante. She asks if he’s here on official business, and he says, yes and no. She asks if he wants to come in, and he says, sure. Thanks. She wonders if she’s in trouble.

At Pozzulo’s Dex tells Sonny that with Spinelli’s help, he was able to track Mason’s car to the side of a cliff, where he was about to throw Ava over the edge. Sonny says, son of a bitch, and Dex says, they exchanged gunfire. Mason was blinded by his headlights, so he was able to get the jump on him. Ava was able to escape during the fighting, but Mason got the advantage and was about to push him over the edge when Dante showed up and put two bullets in his back. Sonny says, and now Dante’s on forced administrative leave for saving Dex’s life. Dex did good. Dex thanks him, and he says, but stopping Mason doesn’t solve the problem. Dex asks, what’s the next step? and Sonny says he didn’t cut his honeymoon short for nothing. They need to stop the man who Mason works for.

Cyrus approaches Portia at the hospital and says, it’s good to see her. She turns and looks at him.

Sonny tells Dex that it was Austin who brought the fabricated Pikeman information that they planted with Betty to someone in Pentenville. Dex says, where Cyrus was an inmate at the time. So that’s who he thinks Austin and Mason are working for? Sonny says he has no doubt, and Dex says, so Cyrus is the one who leaked to the Feds about Sonny’s deal with Pikeman. Sonny says, Cyrus has been trying to remove him since before he was released. He’s always hated Sonny, but he made a big mistake by abducting Ava. Dex asks if Sonny wants to pay him a visit, but Sonny says, not yet. He wants to make sure all his allies stay loyal. There’s a knock at the restaurant door, and Sonny opens it. He says, speak of the devil, and we see Selina is there.

Portia asks what Cyrus is doing here, and he says he’s here to see her. She says she heard about his early release; an abomination of justice, if you ask her, after everything he’s done. He says he’s sorry she feels that way, and she says, let her make one thing clear to him. She can’t stop him from entering the hospital, but one thing’s for damn sure, she can stop him from approaching her or anyone in her family. He says, she has nothing to fear from him, and she says she’s going to get a restraining order to keep him away from her and her daughter. Does he think she’s just going to forget he held them hostage? That he pointed a gun at her daughter? She thinks a judge will agree with her that it’s a pretty damn good case for her to get a restraining order against him. He says, that is all in his past. God has cleansed him of those sins, and the justice system has agreed and forgiven him. He’s here now just to ask forgiveness of her. She says, this is redemption? Is that what this is? Because the fact that he’s approaching her in her place of work is proof she needs a restraining order. He says, she has his deepest regrets for his past actions. He seeks her out now only to apologize.

Brook says, the only person she knows who doesn’t think she should be in the music business is granny. That’s not exactly news. She has mentioned, on multiple occasions, how she thinks Brook should be in a more prestigious business, because after all, according to her, Brook is a Quartermaine. Lois says, she’s also a Cerullo. Don’t forget that. Brook asks, since when does granny’s opinion mean anything to her? and Lois says, it doesn’t. Brook asks, then what’s her point? and Lois says, her point is, Brook might want to care a little more about what her granny thinks, because she’s about to give Brook Deception.

Doc asks, who’s this perp Mac is telling him about? and Mac says, Doc hasn’t told him about his adventure in Europe. Doc says, ah. Evading his question. Mac says, Doc just got back, and he wants to know all about it, and Doc says, when someone evades the question, that usually means it’s important. Mac laughs and says, has he ever told Doc how he hates it when Doc tries to shrink him? and Doc says, yeah, but he also knows Mac very well. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. He’s just saying, if Mac does, he’ll listen. Mac asks how much he’s told Doc about Cody Bell.

Cody says, this is for her, handing Sam a gift bag, and she says, her birthday isn’t until May. He says he knows. He just wants to show her how grateful he is for her helping him and Sasha. She thanks him and says, he didn’t have to do this. He says he knows, but he couldn’t have gotten Sasha out of Ferncliff if it wasn’t for her help. She got him committed, she had a getaway car waiting for them, she arranged for the cabin for them to stay in. It’s just a little present to say, thank you. She says she was happy to help. She just wishes she’d listened to him earlier. Then they could have helped Sasha sooner, and for that, she’s very sorry. He says, she has nothing to be sorry about. She took a leap of faith when she had plenty of reasons not to. She believed in him, and once she did, she went above and beyond to help Sasha. She says, he’s been a really good friend to Sasha. His concern for her was sincere, and his determination to help her was admirable. He says he guesses Sasha doesn’t need his help anymore.

Sasha tells Dante that she doesn’t know what she could be in trouble over. She was cleared of all charges regarding her breakout from Ferncliff. Her lawyers told her that Cody wasn’t going to press any charges against her for stabbing him. Dante says he’s sorry. She’s not facing any charges. He’s not here on official police business. She asks if there’s something else she did wrong, but he says, it’s nothing she did. It’s what she’s about to do.

Lucy says, Tracy has made it clear she’s part owner. What isn’t clear is, one, why would she care if Blaze is the new Face of Deception; and two, what’s she got against poor Blaze; and three… She can’t think of anything. She knows. Why is it any of Tracy’s business? It’s not. Nada. Zilch. Maxie says she thinks what Lucy is wanting to say is, Blaze is a perfect fit for them. She’s already a major recording artist. She’s clearly on the brink of superstardom. She’s got millions of followers on social media, and… Lucy says, thank you. That’s exactly what she’d be saying. Go ahead. Maxie says, younger women idolize her. Older women respect her. She’s the perfect person to uplift Deception, and market them through major demographics. Tracy says, bravo. Maxie should be in sales. She might have even bought it if she cared. She doesn’t care. What she cares about is, her 51% says Sasha Gilmore remains the Face of Deception.

Dante says he knows from Sasha’s police reports and medical records the hell she went through with that Dr. Montague. He’s so sorry she went through all that. She thanks him, and he says he knows it’s not the same, but he went through something about three years ago, and when his hell ended, he wanted to run away from everything and everyone he ever knew. He didn’t want to be associated with his former life because he thought he’d been irreparably changed. And he loves his life, his friends, his family, but at that point in his life, he wanted nothing to do with any of them. He wanted to run as far as he could and never come back. He thinks trauma does that to them; it did it to him. He thinks it’s doing it to Sasha, and he thinks it only makes things worse.

Sam takes out a softball in a display case, and asks Cody, what is this? He says, it’s a softball. It’s signed by… She says, the US Women’s Softball Team. That is so sweet. Thank you so much. He didn’t have to do that. He says, she didn’t have to help him and Sasha, but she did. She thanks him, and he says, Dante’s always talking about what a clutch softball player she is, so he thought she’d appreciate it. She says she does. She thinks this is awesome. She’s going to put it in the family room so they can all share it. He says he loves how they do that. The family room. He bets she and Dante, and the kids all gather together on the weekend and watch movies in there. She says, he’s right; they do. On Sundays, it’s either a movie or sports or a board game. They make it a point to spend time together. They talk about their week or just hang out. He says he used to wonder what that would be like, to be a part of a family, and she asks if he doesn’t wonder anymore. He says, no. He had his chance, and he threw it away.

Portia says she doesn’t want Cyrus’s apology; it’s so meaningless. His remorse is a sham. He should be in prison for the rest of his life, and the fact that he’s free, standing in front of her right now, is a travesty. It’s insane. He says, she has every right to her anger, and she says, don’t patronize her. He says, it breaks his heart that she’s burdened with this resentment. If he could, he would take it from her. She says, now he’s playing games with her. There’s no point in trying to convince her. She knows he’s not a changed man. The people who released him back into society, they may have believed the reformed act, but she doesn’t buy it and she never will. He says he understands, but if she believes nothing else about him, believe this. He is extremely grateful to those who stopped him that night. His sister Laura and the very resourceful Jordan Ashford, and his gratitude also extends to her husband Curtis.

Sonny thanks Selina for coming to see him, and she says she’s always pleased to receive an invitation to meet with him. He asks if she knows Dex, and she says she does. They exchange greetings, and she says, congratulations to Sonny and Nina. She heard they got married on his island. Sonny chuckles, and she asks, how was it? He says, it was great. It was fantastic. Can he clear something up with her? How did she allow his cousin Gladys to run up such a massive gambling debt? And she didn’t even have the courtesy to inform him.

Brook asks if she heard Lois correctly. Tracy’s giving her Deception. Lois asks if she was mumbling, and Brook says, what would give her that idea? Lois says, Tracy herself gave her that idea. She said she wants Brook to be able to provide for herself in case the music business doesn’t work out. Tracy also told her that Lucy and Maxie weren’t using Brook to her fullest potential. That she’s going to agree with Tracy on, because Brook has amazing potential, and if they were taking advantage of her, that’s not okay. Brook says, stop. Tracy blackmailed her and took the company away from them, and Lois is saying that was for her? Lois says, according to Tracy, that’s the truth. She intends to hand over her controlling interest in Deception to Brook. Brook says, come on. Lois believes her?

Mac tells Doc, Cody got himself in trouble saving Sasha Gilmore. He put his neck on the line to save her. Cody not only impressed him, it brought back memories of how he went to similar lengths to save Cody’s mother Dominique. Doc asks if Mac wasn’t involved with Dominique before she was involved with Scotty, when Scotty appears and asks if he just heard his name mentioned.

Lucy tells Tracy, Sasha has been through too much. She’s been through the most horrible, ugly ordeal because of that disgusting Gladys. So the worst thing to do for Sasha is throw her back in the spotlight where she was publicly skewered. Tracy says she’s fully aware of what Sasha has been through, and Lucy says, then Tracy is fully aware Sasha stabbed Cody Bell at the MetroCourt pool. She stabbed someone in public. She can’t have someone who freaks out and tries to hurt somebody. Deception needs a spokesperson that has nothing to do with anything like that. Tracy says, and what about what Sasha needs? She was the face that relaunched this company. Lucy’s beloved Deception was shut down for over a decade. Maxie asks if she can say something, but Lucy and Tracy both say, no. Lucy says she’s just trying to think of Sasha, but Tracy says, no she’s not. If Lucy was thinking of Sasha, she’d reinstate Sasha’s contract. She needs them to look at the big picture. Look at corporate culture. What kind of message would they be sending if they shut out somebody who’s struggling with addiction? What if this job is the very thing that gets Sasha back on her feet? Would Lucy deny her that? Lucy says, wow. She doesn’t know what’s happening here. Tracy says, that’s not surprising, and Maxie says she’s going to say something whether they like it or not. She can’t believe she’s going to say this, but what Tracy is trying to tell them is to have a heart and give Sasha another chance. Tracy says, exactly.

Brook tells Lois, this is classic Tracy. Do something rotten and horrible and claim you did it for altruistic reasons. Lois says, she didn’t fall far from the Edward Quartermaine tree, that is for sure, and Brook says, as soon as Tracy got back to Port Charles, she zeroed in on Deception like a heat seeking missile. She blackmailed Brook into spying for her, which she did to her everlasting regret, and once Tracy had the upper hand, she filed a lawsuit, and basically bullied Lucy and poor Maxie into settling. Lois says, she’s a real piece of work – she’ll give Brook that – but she’s not sure this time Tracy’s being 100% selfish. Brook says, Tracy did all this for Tracy. Don’t be fooled. Any excuse Tracy did this for her is a blatant lie. Lois says she’s not so sure.

Scotty asks if they mind if he joins them, and Mac says, actually… but Scotty says, it’s been a while since the three of them have done any catching up. Doc says he and Mac were right in the middle of catching up, and Scotty says, but they were talking about him. Mac says, they were actually talking about Cody Bell.

Cody tells Sam, what he did was find his biological father and lied to him about being his son. Sam asks if they’re talking about Mac, and he says, good guess. She says, gut instinct, and he guesses that’s why she’s a great P.I. She asks why he lied to Mac.

Sasha says, Dante is right. They reacted similarly to the things that happened to them, but like he said, the circumstances weren’t the same. He had a family to come back to; she doesn’t. Brando’s gone and he’s not coming back. Neither is her baby boy. Her family was taken from her and every bit of her aches for them. He says he can’t even imagine. He’s sorry. She says she really tried like hell to carry on. She went on with her day-to-day activities, even though she was still grieving and in pain, and honestly, she thought she was doing okay. He says, for what it’s worth (🍷), Cody said she was going pretty good before Montague started giving her those drugs, and she says she thought she was doing all right, but now she’s not so sure.

Cyrus tells Portia, Curtis was a hero that night, and he was deeply sorry to hear that he’d been injured. And it must be frightening to know he’s no longer capable of protecting her the way he once could. She says she’s going to need him to get the hell away from her, and she swears, if he approaches her or anyone she loves, she’s calling the cops. She’ll have him thrown back in prison where he belongs. She walks away and leans against the wall. She flashes back to coming into her house and finding Cyrus there, and cries.

Selina tells Sonny, Gladys was, as they say, an enthusiastic player, one they never turn away, even from the best players. Sadly, she lost more often than she won, but Gladys assured her she would do good on her debts. Even though she was slow on her payment, the money always arrived. So she saw no reason to doubt Gladys, or to bother him with it. He says he’s going to stop her right there, because the next thing she says might have lasting repercussions. In their business, does she know how to distinguish between allies and enemies? She says, of course (🍷) she does, and he says, enemies lie and allies deal in honesty. So before she opens her mouth, she needs to decide which one she wants to be.

Scotty tells Mac, if it was up to him, he’d slap this city with a huge civil lawsuit; a litany of charges. Cody would be singing his way to the bank. Mac says, Scotty would be singing his way to the bank, and Scotty admits he would. Doc says, assuming he’d win, how much of those damages would he collect? Scotty says, twenty or thirty percent, but his wallet is already fat. However, Cody has no interest, which seems a little weird. Mac says, why? Scotty said himself, Cody is a forgiving soul. Scotty says, but just a few months ago, Cody was willing to sue the WSB for all that stuff that went on in Greenland. He just wonders what happened.

Lois says, in Tracy’s twisted way, she thinks Tracy wants to do this for Brook. She’s afraid Brook isn’t going to be able to make a living as a music manager. She wants to make sure Brook can support herself in a way she deems acceptable. Brook says, Tracy won’t be happy regardless of what she does, but Lois says she doesn’t know. Honestly, Tracy seems to be really happy for Brook and Chase. She even claims to be the one who brought them back together in the first place. And in true Q fashion, she doesn’t want Brook living on a cop’s salary. Brook says, right. So Tracy’s solution to her financial problems is to blackmail her own granddaughter and rob Lucy and Maxie of their dream.

Lucy says, let her try and get this straight. She, Tracy Angelica Quartermaine, after deviously stealing their 51% of the company and taking her precious 1% of ELQ, expects them to believe she has compassion for Sasha. She expects them to believe she wants to give Sasha another chance. What’s in it for her? Tracy says, nothing, and Lucy says, oh poo. She’s not buying it. Tracy says, it’s the right thing to do, and Lucy tells Maxie, it’s freaky Friday. Maxie asks, if there’s nothing in it for Tracy, why is it so important Sasha get her job back? Tracy says, because they’re all businesswomen here, and should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down, and Lucy says, what? Tracy tore them completely down.

Selina says her alliance with Sonny is vital to her interests, and he says, then explain to him what happened with his cousin Gladys. Selina says, when Gladys lost, she extended her line of credit. When the time came to pay, Gladys had lost more, and she didn’t have the money and couldn’t pay. She told Selina that she had access to Sasha Gilmore’s money through a guardianship, but she couldn’t withdraw too much at once. That’s when Gladys sold her Brando’s garage at below market value. Sonny says he’s surprised. Didn’t it ever occur to her to inform him, her ally in this situation? If he was the suspicious type, he would think maybe she was trying to get information or leverage on him. And if that were the case, they would have a big problem.

Cody tells Sam that he had the DNA test in his hand at GH, but instead of telling Mac the truth, he lied to Mac. Mac found the test on the floor at the Q stables, and he got it out of Mac’s hands before he knew what it was. That was his second chance to come clean, but instead, he lied again right to Mac’s face. Sam asks, why? and he says he doesn’t know. He told himself that he was going for the money, but he thinks Mac is too good of a guy to be saddled with a son like him. She says, it’s not too late to tell Mac that he’s his son, but he says he’s lied repeatedly to Mac’s face. Any chance or hope of him earning Mac’s trust is gone. Mac’s got a great wife and a happy life; Mac doesn’t need him as a son. She says she’s assuming Dante knows all this, and Cody says, he’s known for a while. He’s sorry. He never should have asked Dante to keep a secret like that. That’s why he’s telling her now. After everything she did for him and Sasha, she deserves to know the truth. She asks if anyone else knows he’s Mac’s son, and he says, one other person; Sasha knows.

Sasha says, maybe Dante is right. Maybe she’s running away, but honestly, can he really blame her for not wanting to live in a place where everywhere she turns there’s a constant reminder of what she’s lost or a mistake she’s made? Sometimes the pain is just too much. He says, to be clear, he doesn’t blame her for anything. Do what’s best for herself. He just wants her to know there are people here who love her and can help her heal from the trauma she’s suffered. Michael, Willow, Chase, Maxie, Nina. Plus, she’s got some new friends – him and Sam and Cody – who will really miss her.

Tracy says, Brook told her that Sasha’s been through hell, and Lucy says, she and Maxie are aware of everything Sasha’s been through. She doesn’t have to remind them. Tracy says, apparently, she does. Look at what’s been done to her. She deserves a break. Where is Lucys’ empathy? Lucy says, empathy. Does Tracy even know what that word means? Tracy says she does, and she demands they give Sasha a break. Lucy says, demand, and Tracy repeats, demand. Maxie tells Tracy that she’s right. A lot of terrible things have happened to Sasha because she trusted the wrong people. We know a little something about that, don’t we, Lucy? She loves Sasha and would hate it if she wasn’t there when Sasha needed her. Lucy says, they all agreed, but Tracy says, they have not all agreed. Lucy says, well, Sasha’s out of town. Gone. So case closed. Tracy says, that’s what phones are for. Pick it up. Call her. Tell her that Deception has decided to reinstate her contract. And do it today. She leaves, and Maxie keeps Lucy from following her.

Selina says she doesn’t seek leverage over Sonny. In retrospect, her actions were ill-advised, and she regrets that. She also regrets letting Gladys join her poker game, and having done so, she agrees with him. She owed it to him, her ally, to apprise him of the situation as it unfolded. Sonny glances at Dex and says he’s glad they’re on the same page. She says, he’s been a good business partner, and she wants to continue that relationship in the future. How can she make almonds amends? He says he’s sure she’s heard Cyrus is once again free, and she says she’s aware.

Dex walks Selina out of the restaurant.

Mac tells Scotty that Cody was arrested after he broke out of Ferncliff and allegedly kidnapped Sasha Gilmore. The charges were dropped, and the paperwork filed away. He’s guessing Cody doesn’t want to bring it back out into the light of day and Sasha to get involved. He’s very protective of her. Doc says, or Cody simply developed a conscience. He apologizes to Scotty. He knows that’s not a word he’s familiar with. Scotty says he’s got a conscience, and Cyrus says, excuse him, but he’d like to have a word with his attorney Mr. Baldwin.

Lois tells Brook, don’t think for one single minute she’s here defending Tracy. She doesn’t agree with anything Tracy’s done on any level. Brook says, good. For a second, she thought hell froze over. Lois says, hold on a second because hell might get a little chilly, because she does believe Tracy is sincere when she says she’s going to hand over her controlling interest in Deception to Brook. Brook says, Tracy can be as sincere as she wants, because there’s no way in hell she will ever accept that company.

Dante says, whatever it is, whatever decision Sasha makes, he wishes her only the best. He just didn’t want her leaving town without knowing how much she’s loved and how much she’ll be missed. She thanks him, and says, it means a lot. He heads for the door, then says, Brando was family, which makes them family. And if there’s one thing he learned from his mother and his father, it’s that family is everything. Take care, and if she needs anything, let him know. He leaves, and she sits down and sighs.

Sam says, it doesn’t surprise her at all that Cody would trust Sasha with the secret that he’s Mac’s son. They did form a close bond when he broke Sasha out of Ferncliff. He says, not that any of that matters anymore, and she asks why it doesn’t matter. He says, Sasha’s leaving Port Charles, and she says, since when? He says he stopped by her place yesterday and found her packing, and Sam asks if he tried to talk her out of it. He says he tried and he failed. Sasha said the movers were coming this morning, so she’s probably gone already.

Shoving gummies in her mouth, Lucy asks what Maxie thinks that was all about, but Maxie says, no clue. Lucy says, that woman is up to something, mark my words. She is always up to something, and the only thing she does anything for is to benefit her shady bank account. What could it be? Maxie says she really has no idea, but she has to be honest. She kind of liked what Tracy was saying. It would be nice to work with Sasha again. Lucy says, she might be right. Maybe Sasha could change her mind and not stay in Austin. After all, those fabulous winter coats she has that they love, she can’t wear those in Texas. Maxie says, they’re getting a little ahead of themselves. What if she doesn’t accept the offer? Maxie inhales sharply and says, what if she does? What are they going to tell Blaze?

Brook tells Lois that she’s committed to her music career, and she doesn’t care if Tracy doesn’t have faith she’ll succeed. She has faith in herself, and Lois is the one who always told her that’s all she needs. Lois says, that’s the Cerullo fire, and Brook says, even if she fails, she’d rather get a job waiting tables at Kelly’s then let granny give her a stolen company. She’s going to tell Tracy that right now. Lois says, hold her roll for a second. Because as much satisfaction as it would give Brook to throw that gift right back in Tracy’s face, she thinks she has a better way to handle it.

Scotty suggests he and Cyrus talk in private and steers him away from the main dining room. He thinks Cyrus might be a little confused; he’s not on retainer. Cyrus paid him a chunk of money to take care of him at the hearing, but that’s the end story. He makes a dusting off motion with his hands and says, case closed, but Cyrus says, their story isn’t finished yet. Scotty was remarkable at the hearing, and he might have use of Scotty’s brilliant legal mind again.

At the table, Doc says, so much for Scotty’s conscience, and Mac says he wishes Scotty had stuck to chasing ambulances and defending Cody. Helping Cyrus Renault won’t end well. He’s sure of it.

Sonny asks Dex, any updates on their people watching Cyrus? and Dex says, he paid a visit to GH today. He was spotted talking to Dr. Robinson. Sonny says, Trina’s mother? and Dex says, when he left GH, he went straight to the MetroCourt restaurant. Dex told their people not to take their eyes off him, and report back with any updates. Sonny says, Miss Wu has agreed to put eyes on Cyrus as well. So with her network and his, Cyrus is not going to make a move without him knowing. Dex says, so he’s under 24-hour surveillance, and Sonny says, she’s going to notify him as far as who Cyrus is interacting with, his associates or whatever. If he tries any overture to Selina, she’ll notify him immediately. Dex asks if they can trust her, but Sonny says, the only thing he trusts is that Selina will serve her own business interests. That’s why he has to keep her close.

Tomorrow, Brook tells Lois, if Tracy’s offer comes up, she’ll regret it; Curtis asks if Portia wants to tell him what’s going on; Laura needs to talk to Scotty now; and Martin says, there’s something Michael needs to know before he pulls the trigger.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Tumi is exhausted and Natalya chants, namaste, while doing laundry. The guests pack, and Captain Sandy tells Haleigh and Max to slow down and communicate. In Haleigh’s interview, she says, it’s only her second time docking. Max yapping while she’s trying figure it out is wasting time. The guests take last minute pictures, and Max tells Luka that he thinks Haleigh is playing a game of ego. The crew says goodbye to the guests, and there are lots of hugs. Primary Mecca says, they’re an amazing crew. They travel a lot, and this is one of their best trips. They had a few hiccups with Chef Jack, but he made the best jerk lobster she’s ever had, and she wants to take Tumi home for real. The crew applauds, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, as usual, the guests don’t know what went on behind the scenes. The fact that they didn’t pick up on the chaos is very good. The crew does some cleaning, while Max does push-ups using the banister. The captain calls the crew for the tip meeting, and tells them, when they first started, she told them that she has to earn their respect and trust, but they have to do it too. They need to respect the position and the workplace. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, it’s a professional setting and she hired professionals. She expects them to be professional. The argument that happened can never happen again. If they don’t work it out, she’ll have to make a decision. The tip is a whopping $26K, $2000 per person. In Tumi’s interview, she says, it was a difficult charter, but the tip makes it hurt less. It’s not mo’ money mo’ problems. She’s not Biggie; she’s Tumi.  Kyle wants to have a good time tonight and asks Natalya how old her boyfriend is. She says, 31, and he says, that’s a good age, so why is she going for a 21-year-old? In Natalya’s interview, she says she might like Luka, but it makes her feel like she’s cheating. Her mind feels like a scrambled egg. No comment. Her boyfriend texts that she can do what she wants, but he hopes it doesn’t hurt him, and she texts back that she misses him too. In Lara’s interview, she says, Natalya has eyes for Luka, but he can’t give Natalya what she can. She wants to pull Natalya’s hair and smack her… She’s joking, but she’s not joking. I want to pull Natalya’s hair and smack her too, but not for the same reason. They go to a restaurant, and the women admire Luka’s tattoos. In his interview, Luka says, the monarch butterfly was his grandmother’s favorite, and the butterfly tattoos are a hit with the ladies. Max pours wine for the women, and says, in France, a woman never pours a drink. His mother would kill him if he let them. Jessika says, she’s three drinks in. Is she f***ed up? She thought it was going to be a low tip, and Tumi says, it can go two ways; you can be shocked by a low tip or a big one. In Kyle’s interview, he says, hold on. Did everyone start to get along? He’s traumatized. On the way out, Lara picks up Natalya, and Kyle yells, gay pride! They go to a club, drink some more, and dance. Jack says he’s like Michael Jackson reincarnated, which is doubtful. Everyone is spinning everyone around, and Natalya wonders if she’s in an open relationship. She asks Tumi if they can hit refresh, and Tumi agrees. Kyle says he’s done and dusted, and in Tumi’s interview, she says it’s not what she was expecting. She wants to trust and believe, but thinks it’s tequila.

Haleigh says she’s sorry that she told Max to shut up and they hug. Jessika says her tummy hurts, and they go back to the boat. Kyle says he’s voting for the drunkest, and it’s Jessika. Everyone gets into the hot tub except Jessika and Haleigh, and Lara kisses Luka. In Lara’s interview, she says she loves kissing. It’s drunk fun, but kissing Luka is like kissing her brother, and incest is not what she’s going for. Jessika says she wants to throw up and go to bed. She gets sick in the bathroom, and Haleigh helps her into bed. Tumi tells Natalya that she’d said they were alike and that might be the problem, and Natalya says, they’ve had a breakthrough. Luka follows Natalya to the cabins, and in her interview, she says she wants to kiss him, but doesn’t want to hurt her boyfriend’s feelings. They say goodnight, and Natalya says, chill out, bro.

At 7 am, Luka says, time to work, and Natalya gets a text from her boyfriend, who says he hopes she didn’t get too crazy. Jessika says she thinks she has an infection in her throat, and Natalya tells Kyle that they’ll do cabins and talk sh*t. In Kyle’s interview, he says he’s glad Natalya and Tumi made up, and we flash back to their argument. He says, he’s not happy about Natalya using his name. Revealing Tumi’s message to her was an act of friendship, not to weaponize him against other people. There’s only room for one gossip, and it’s him, the Tea Queen. Luka tells Max not to dump the dirty mop water over the side of the boat, but he does it anyway, and Lara says, he doesn’t get it. Captain Sandy calls for a preference sheet meeting, and Lara tells Luka, the new deckhand is a f***ing idiot.

Captain Sandy asks if anybody knows who Roy Orbison is and sings a few bars of Pretty Woman. No one recognizes the name, but they all know the song. She says, his son is the primary, and it’s the family’s third charter with her. We flash back, and she says, he’s bringing his wife Asa, their sons and new baby Love, and his younger brother and sister-in-law. His brother was a crew member on Jackass. In Jack’s interview, he says he loves Jackass, which is no surprise. Tumi reads that they want a highchair and bassinette, and Jack says, they want vegetarian and Italian food. They’ve also requested the captain join them for an Italian dinner. Luka says, they want to do water sports, and the captain says, they like to have fun and the forecast is great. Afterward, Jack says he and Tumi have been to hell and back, and Tumi says she thinks they’re fine now. She’ll always have his back. In her interview, she says, it’s great that Jack is finally giving her a chance. In Luka’s interview, he says he’s thinking of making Lara lead deckhand. She deserves it. He’s also thinking Max is definitely his first managerial challenge. Hopefully, Lara shows Max what it should be like. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s thinking positive vibes. She wants to maintain peace and love this charter. Jessika tells the captain that she feels like sh*t. She’s been vomiting and her throat is sore. Captain Sandy says she’s backing away and asks if Jessika wants to see a doctor. Jessika says she does, and the captain says, there’s no doctor open on Sunday, but she can go to the ER. Jessika says she’d like to, and in the captain’s interview, she says, knowing Jessika is sick, you never know what it is. She doesn’t want the crew getting infected and needs to get her off the vessel to see a doctor. Jessika tells Haleigh that she’s going to the hospital, and Captain Sandy radios that she got Jessika car service. In her interview, Tumi wonders, does this get any easier? It’s good she’s getting along with Natalya because now she needs her.

Molo Vecchio Marina. Provisions come in, and Max does pushups on a railing. Luka tells him, if he bends those, they won’t be able to get them back. He tells Captain Sandy about wanting to make Lara lead deckhand. He thinks she’s earned it. In her interview, Captain Sandy says she’s glad Luka is thinking like a leader. He’s thinking about the advancement of his team, and she loves that he has that mentality. Luka radios Lara to come to the sun deck, and she asks, what’s wrong? Is she in trouble? He says he thinks so, then laughs and says, she’s smashing it. He wants to make her lead deckhand. She cries, and he says he thinks he’s f***ing smashing it. She hugs him, and in Lara’s interview, she says, wow. She was taken aback. It’s her dream. She has a goal board and that’s on it. She’s lived a rocky life and was the crazy horse. She can’t believe her dreams are literally coming true. She tells Luka that she’s his righthand man. There’s a pre-charter meeting, and the captain says, there are going to be a lot of kids, which she knows makes it harder for the deck crew, but they want to show the guests a good time. She tells the crew that they have news, and passes the ball to Luka, who congratulates Lara on her promotion. Everyone applauds, and Kyle says, it’s well-deserved. Captain Sandy congratulates Lara, and says, let’s kill it. Natalya says she can’t wait to hold a baby, and Lara says she can’t think of anything worse.

The guests arrive, and the captain says she’s happy they’ve come back. They’re going to make it an incredible trip. In Max’s interview, he says, Lara’s promotion is going to boost her ego, and he’s concerned Luka created a Frankenstein. Now that she has power, he hopes there’s a good person inside. I guess actually working isn’t an option. They move out, and Natalya takes the kids to the salon, where they chase around with Kyle. In Tumi’s interview, she says she loves seeing Natalya enjoying herself. She’s been an au pair and it’s not easy. They locked her in the garage, threw an iPad in her face while she was driving, and told her to go back to Africa. They were an African American family and she told them to take Africa out of it. All Black people aren’t from there. Anchor is dropped, and in Lara’s interview, she says she knows Luka would appreciate her getting Max to pull his weight. It would show she’s taking it seriously and wants to do a good job. Max swings on the crane for the slide, and the water toys are set up. In his interview, Max says he could never hold a job when he was younger because no one ever told him what to do. His parents said, take care of yourself, and it’s been the challenge of his life. There’s no news on Jessika yet, and Max tells Luka that he needs a break. Luka says, they’re f***ing busy, and in his interview, he says he doesn’t think Max realizes that some days you don’t get a break. He explains to Max that they might not get a break some days. When they can, they will. Man-child Max says, like December.

The captain joins the guests for dinner, as the deckhands put away the water toys. Captain Sandy wonders about guest Ehren’s stunt work, and he says he prepares himself to die six months before the job. He broke his neck twice on Jackass 2, and ruptured a testicle. This is real stuff. In Natalya’s interview, she says, they’re down a person, but the guests never knew it. All of them have chief stew experience, and as long as they’re not fighting, they’re living the dream. Dinner is served, and… food porn! Lara tells Max to bring in the jet ski, and it swings by the deck where the guests are having dinner. The captain tells Tumi, Jack’s flavors are incredible. Tumi relays the message to Jack and they high-five. The crane is swinging like crazy, and Captain Sandy tells the guests to keep back. In Luka’s interview, he says, the weather is getting rough, and they need the tender on board asap. The tender swings way too close to the yacht, and in Lara’s interview, she says, it’s a big f***ing tender. If it hits you, you will die.  

The captain tells the deckhands to tighten the lines, and they get the tender onboard. Captain Sandy tells them, it was too windy during dinner, and they have to check with her first. In her interview, she says, Luka is in work mode and not thinking about the client. This is where he needs to figure out a balance between being bosun and thinking about the guests. Let dinner finish, then bring on the tender. But she knows he’ll never do it again. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s extremely surprised the guests aren’t demanding. They have musicians and the guy from Jackass onboard. Where’s the chaos? She’s disappointed; she loves chaos. Her skills at problem solving bring order to chaos and she loves it, just like her men. The guests go to bed and it’s not even midnight. Ehren says he’s had 27 surgeries and is confused on the relaxation stuff. In his interview, Max says he wants more breaks because he’s working hard. Natalya flirts with Luka, and then calls her boyfriend, who has a bunch of people over. Natalya asks if they’re boys or girls, since no one has told her, at 31, we are not boys and girls. Her boyfriend says, Brody and five girls, and she tells him that she’ll call back. In her interview, she says, yesterday he told her that he didn’t want to influence her. Do what do want she wants, but don’t hurt him. It’s a mean world, so WTF, bro? She thinks he’s probably dipping his doodle in five bitches at once.

Sestri Levante. Natalya takes baby Love, and Lara helps with the slide. Ehren comes to breakfast in his colorful PJs. Max is late because he’s sleeping, and in Luka’s interview, he says he’s frustrated with Max. He’s given Max enough sleep. He’s a quiet person and quite calm, but when he does go off, he goes off, and he’s getting closer. Jessika texts the captain that she should be ready next charter, and Kyle says, Jessika is probably off living her best life. Breakfast is served along with… food porn! Lara tries to instruct Max about tying the lines, and in his interview, Max says, speak to him nicely with a violin. Don’t play with dynamite. If he if he explodes, it’s not good. Max asks how many years of experience Lara has, and she says, three and a half, but it doesn’t matter. Max says he knows sh*t, but he doesn’t. Max whines that last time, the communication was wrong, and in Lara’s interview, she wonders, what’s his goal? She tells him that his attitude stinks, and Max says he can already do knots. Captain Sandy wonders if they’re arguing, and Luka asks what they’re saying. In the captain’s interview, she says, communication has to be clear and concise; it’s a safety issue. She tells Max, arguing is not okay.  

Next time, a pirate game; Tumi says, if Kyle is talking sh*t about Natalya, he’s probably talking sh*t about her; and Luka can’t find Max.

☠️ Not Fearing the Reaper…

Come on by tomorrow for soap and snide comments about the awful people in Winter House. Until then, stay safe, stay remembering it’s the live ones you have to worry about, and stay never doing something rotten and horrible, and claiming you did it for altruistic reasons.