Tag Archives: Summer House

Mar27

March 26, 2018 – Julian & Kim Get Busy, More Drinking in Mexico, a Little Summer House, Bravo Spring & Zzzzz

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny has idea to for Andre to make amends and put some put good out in the world. He knows someone who would be a prime candidate for memory mapping.

Drew sits at the pier. He looks at his empty ring finger, and remembers Sam saying she still loves Jason. He pops a beer.

Alexis visits Sam. She was hoping Sam could help her determine if she’s done something expedient or stupid.

Kim and Julian sip wine. She asks if it’s the next step in his plan to get over Alexis. He asks, Alexis who?

Alexis asks Sam what’s wrong. Sam says Drew left her.

Jason tells Carly he’s sorry he took so long, and uses more words than I’ve heard from him all year. Carly is looking at the picture of Morgan. She tells him the scarf she found on her desk is exactly the same as the one in the picture. It was sitting on her desk, all dirty with blood on it, but it was recognizable. Jason asks how long she examined it, and if there was a label. She says a few minutes, but she doesn’t think so. The fire alarm went off, and she had to evacuate. She left it on her desk, but should have taken it with her. He says she had no way to know whoever left it would come back later to take it.

Curtis finds Drew, along with several crushed empties, and tells him the commissioner has zero tolerance for litter. Drew asks how Curtis found him, but Curtis says it’s a trade secret. He tells Drew that he located Betsy, and she’s recouping at GH. Drew says, good job, and he hopes Betsy is better soon. Curtis doesn’t want to be in Drew’s face, but wonders what’s up. Drew says he’s had a rough 24-hours. Curtis has sympathy. He knows what it’s like to want his memories back. Drew says it wouldn’t make much difference if he did; it would be the same outcome.

Sam tells Alexis how grateful she is to have gotten the ring back, and explains how she found it in Jim’s hotel room. It’s how they knew he was lying. She got it back and put it on his finger, and he kissed her. She started crying, and knew she had to tell him, Alexis asks what she said exactly, and Sam says she told Drew that she still loved Jason, but she’s in love with him too. She thinks he believed the second part, but it doesn’t matter. He left.

Outside of Charlie’s, Ned asks Olivia-Q why that can’t do this at the house. Olivia says the house wasn’t damaged, and they need to meet in the area that was hit the hardest. He says Charlie’s didn’t sustain damage, so why patronize Julian’s place? She tells him it’s the mayor’s job to rise about petty differences, and focus on the greater good. He thinks he’s starting to catch on.

Andre tells Sonny that he can’t put his memory mapping program to use. His release was conditional, and he can only continue his research with the WSB. Sonny says they don’t have to know. Andre says he’s not keeping any more secrets. His research was lost when the flash drive went missing, and he’s starting from scratch. Sonny asks if he can’t perform it from memory, but Andre says some parts were too intricate to keep in his head. Sonny thinks Andre remembers more than he believes. He’ll have a chance to do good for someone who needs it. Andre asks who, and Sonny says, his father.

Julian asks Ned what’s going on, calling him Ted. He thought Ned lost interest in Charles Street, since there are no more votes to be had. Ned tells him they’re having a meeting on how to revive the area. He says there are no concrete plans yet, and Julian tells him good luck with that. He asks Kim if she wants to take a walk.

Andre tells Sonny that Alzheimer’s is a diabolical disease. Sonny says Mike is doing everything he can – medicine, exercise, therapy – but he’s crumbling before Sonny’s eyes. Andre says sorry, but he can’t help.

Brick takes a look at the security footage from the MetroCourt. He asks if there are any cameras closer to the office, but Carly says Diane advised against it. He says he’ll see what he can see.

Drew tells Curtis it’s over; he’s lost Sam. Curtis asks what that means, and Drew says it means it’s over. Curtis tells him people say that all the time, yet find a way to work it out. Drew doesn’t think so. Curtis knows they love each other; anyone with eyes can see it. Drew tells him to spare the pep talk, He knows when something isn’t salvageable. Curtis says he knows when to push through, and when to walk out. He thinks Drew can still win Sam over.

Alexis tells Sam it’s better than living with a lie. Sam says as much as it hurts, for the first time since Jason is back, it feels like peace is happening. I get distracted by the simple display of branches on the mantel behind her, and think about possibly doing something like that. Sam says her choices are coming from an honest place. Alexis says the unfolding of it will take a minute or two, and to deal with what she can. She asks if Drew is coming home, but Sam doesn’t know. Before he left, he said he’d always be committed to Scout, but it doesn’t matter. He’s not coming back. Alexis tells her whatever was said tonight, it’s not the end. There’s more to be said, and not just with Drew. What is Sam going to say when Jason shows up?

Sonny tells Andre if he needs convincing, he can pay him. Andre says despite his past transgressions and motives, he can’t be bought. There are limits, and if he’d thought it was effective, he would have revealed it, despite the personal consequences. It’s useless against Alzheimer’s. The reason he devised it was to save his wife, but by the time it was viable, it was too late; she was too far gone. Sonny says his father isn’t, but Andre says it doesn’t matter. It’s ineffective once the disease takes root. It’s corrosive and cruel, and burns away the memory, language and thought; everything that makes us who we are. His program can’t prevent the decline. Nothing can.

None of the people on the security footage are carrying a scarf, although Jason says it would be easy enough to conceal. Carly says she recognizes everyone on the tape. She says they could have come up through the stairwell, but there are no cameras there either. She says they could look at the footage from the lobby. Jason tells her that would mean she’d have to interrogate her guests. Carly doesn’t know what to do. She says sometimes it’s almost like Morgan is still there.

Curtis thinks Sam has a screwed-up sense of loyalty. No way can Jason make her happy. He drags misery behind him like a security blanket. Drew has it within him to enjoy life, while Jason has a personality of concrete, Curtis has never even seen him smile. Drew asks if he thinks Sam is going to change her mind. When Curtis doesn’t say anything, Drew says, yeah, didn’t think so.

Sam tells Alexis that she hasn’t heard from Jason. Alexis says he’s bound to come calling when he finds out. He’s literal and goal-oriented. She didn’t expect it when Sam was with Drew, but it’s reasonable to assume she wants him back, after he gives her some time to get over Drew. Sam says she’s doing the best she can, but she hurt people in the process. She lied to Drew and Jason. She can’t do that anymore. She needs to know how to trust and rely on herself again.

Julian tells Kim welcome to his office. He talks about discovering a hatch in the floor where they hid booze during Prohibition. Apparently, Port Charles was a hub for bootleggers. He says he also lives there. Kim asks, why? It’s beautiful for an office, but why? He says something temporary turned into a convenience. It has the benefit of him being on the premises; it guarantees less theft and vandalism. He sleeps on a pullout couch. Kim says it has to be uncomfortable, but he says they’ve improved. He tells her that he’s a capable man. She tells him she can’t take his word for it; she needs to see the receipts. Whoa. Suddenly, they’re twirling around in the sheets on his pullout couch.

Sam tells Alexis that she needs time alone to figure things out. Who knows? Maybe in the end, she’ll figure out that she isn’t supposed to be with either one of them.

Curtis tells Drew, let’s go. Drew asks, where? and he says, to the gym. Drew needs to punch something; he needs to do something. Drew takes a drink, and says he is. He knew it was coming. Maybe Sam didn’t, maybe she did, but he could feel it. The signs were there. Curtis asks if that doesn’t make him want to punch something. Drew says, not something – someone.

Carly doesn’t get it. Why now? She tells Jason that Mike keeps forgetting that Morgan is dead. He’s on her mind; he always is. She dreams about him, and when she’s awake, she feels his absence. She finds herself waiting for him to come home. He had a hundred ideas a day; some brilliant and outrageous, some disasters waiting to happen. As much as she wanted to pull her hair out, he was sweet and genuine and made her smile. She can hardly find the strength to walk into her other house. She won’t go into his room. Jason asks what she’s worried she’ll find, but she says it’s what she won’t find. She knows he’s gone, but she can’t help hoping he’ll come home. She cries, and Jason holds her.

Andre says he’s sorry, but he can’t help Sonny’s father. If there are any memories, stories, feelings, or anything Sonny wants from his father, Andre tells him to gather them now, and tuck them away. Sonny promises he will. Whatever functional days he has, are more precious than gold

Ned thanks everyone for coming. Valentin tells him to cut to the chase. How bad is it, and what will it take to improve things? Lulu says it depends on where you live. Olivia says the working class and low-income people have been hurt the most. She points out that Spoon Island is in the least damaged category. Nina says that’s true, but Port Charles is still their city. They want to help rebuild. Michael says housing is the biggest priority. Monica asks what’s more important than a place to live, and Ned says having a city worth living in.

Julian and Kim have pillow talk. She says she wondered if he was going to show her his etchings. Julian says his sister does own an art gallery. Kim says they’ve always been honest with each other, and they both know their hearts belong with – Julian finishes, with people who don’t want them. He says they’re adults who enjoy each other’s company, and she says, as long as they’re clear with each other, it’s all good. They get busy again.

Jason wishes he could help Carly figure it out. She says she knows, and she’s okay. He tells her if she needs him, he’s there, and she says that’s one of the reasons she’s okay. He has to go supervise a shipment for Sonny (say that three times really fast). He says he’ll tell Sonny, but Carly doesn’t want him to know. He’s going through enough with Mike; he doesn’t need a distraction. Jason says someone messing with her isn’t a distraction. She tells him to ask if there’s any tension with his rivals. If he says yes, tell him, since it could be related. If not, it’s probably not dangerous and he doesn’t need to know. She swears Jason to secrecy. He promises he won’t say a word.

Alexis hands it to Sam – she’s brave, and makes wise decisions. Sam says they’re painful, and Alexis tells her that she’s setting a great example for Scout, her sisters, and her mom, who’s not nearly as smart. She wants Sam to have a full, rich relationship, but she probably needs to have one with herself first. She needs emotional time out. Maybe with distance, she won’t feel the need for an adrenaline rush. Sam tells Alexis that she says this with love, but what she sees in Jason isn’t close to what Alexis saw in Julian. Alexis asks who said anything about him, and Sam says she didn’t have to.

Curtis suggests Drew get his ass to the gym and let off some steam. Drew says he’ll be fine. Curtis points out that he’s self-medicating. He fell down that hole when his brother died. He put everything he could up his nose, but it didn’t do any good. He screamed curses at everyone. He cursed Jordan, Shawn, and Tommy, even himself, until the poison was out of his system. So let it out. Drew tells him to back off. Curtis says she broke his heart. He depended on what she told him, and gave her everything. Now she’s gone, and his brother is waiting for her to come to him. He knows it hurts and it pisses him off. He needs to focus to see through the pain and anger. Drew says Curtis can’t help. He needs to do it alone. Curtis understands. He tells Drew not to do anything stupid, like look for Jason. Drew tells him not to worry; just go.

Julian tells Kim he’d ask her to spend the night, but he’s not sure the pullout can sustain it. She’s not sure her son is ready for an overnight anyway Julian says it wouldn’t do much for her reputation to be too loosely associated with him. Kim says no one tells her how to live her life. He tells her maybe don’t shout it from the rooftops. She tells him to get a few more pillows and she’ll think about spending more time there.

Sonny asks Carly if she’s ready to go home. She asks how Mike is, and he says it’s been a long day. He notices the picture of Morgan, and says it’s one of his favorites. She says, her too. She remembers his face clearly. Sonny says it’s hazy for him. She says, let’s go home, and she can tell him the whole story.

Olivia says that Port Charles has strong established businesses, but they need to be revived. Nina says it’s like rebranding the city; marketing it as a place people want to live and work in. Mike says they need to look at the earthquake as an opportunity instead of a disaster story. Monica says people still need places to live; the hospital staff is scrambling to find affordable rentals. Ned says he’s coordinating state rent subsidies, but they have to move forward, being judicious to preserve the city’s character. Lulu asks if he wasn’t the one who wanted to tear it down for an arena. Ned says he’s seen the error of his ways. Valentin says they’ll need a P.R. campaign, with a spotlight on how they’re rebuilding and moving forward. Ned says they’ll feature what makes Port Charles great, including the hospital, while downplaying the organized crime. He asks Michael to request that Sonny keep a lower profile than usual. Olivia says she’ll send everyone a coordinating email, and they’ll get together again. Ned thanks everyone for coming. Kim and Julian walk through. He asks if he can see her again, and she says, sure.

Alexis asks Sam to forgive Julian. She says she’s tried. Alexis is concerned about Jason and Sam’s ties to him. If he hears that Drew is gone, she might get back with him while she’s having doubts, and it won’t work. Sam says Alexis hates Jason, but Alexis says she hates what he does. Her smartest, oldest daughter should trust her instincts. Sam says it’s all she has. She needs time to recover, and be by herself. When she’s done, maybe she’ll know who or what completes her. Bleh. Did she really just say that?

Drew stands on the pier, and Jason walks out. They stare at each other.

Tomorrow, Nina tells Valentin that Windemere has a skeleton in every closet, Peter has something for Maxie, and Doc talks to Betsy.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi tells the girls that when you love someone, you do everything you can for them, and Jax has sh*t on his relationship with Brittany. She asks Lala if she’s down with the conversation. In her interview, she says they’re all toasty, but Kristen is next level toasty. She’s been drinking since 8 a.m. yesterday. They’re off to a good start.

The guys, plus Ariana, gather in Jax’s suite. Tom asks if Jax is going to Florida; he thinks it’s good for him. James says it sounds horrible for Brittany not to go, but Jax doesn’t think that will happen. In his interview, Jax says he’ll be near his family and be involved with hockey – it’s a win-win. He wonders what the next step is, and Tom suggests he chill. James squeaks that it’s boy’s night like he’s a girl. James is having a blast, but knows about Scheana trying to manipulate Jax and Brittany’s relationship. At the same time, why tells him when he’s having the time of his life. Let him have his night.

The girls, minus Ariana, go to the beach. Kristen has hiccups, and says she’s too drunk to handle people. They get half nakey, and go in the water. Brittany says she’s learned how important these girls are to her, and says they’ll be friends for life.

Back at SUR, Lisa asks how Billie is, and how her date with Jeremy went. Billie tells her about Scheana wanting to set up Adam and Brittany. In her interview, Lisa says the only ramification she’s concerned about is the havoc in her restaurant. As far as Jax goes, it’s fair game. Lisa tells Billie to let Scheana know she should keep out of a potential explosion. Billie says she’ll do her best.

In possibly the weirdest thing ever on this show, Lala heats up a baby bottle with milk and honey, and brings it to bed with her. In her interview, Scheana says she has a stuffed frog she brings everywhere, but has never seen a grown woman suck on a bottle in order to go to sleep. Lala says she puts on her favorite show, and whenever she has anxiety, her “baba” soothes her like a baby. I have no words. Well, I actually have a lot of them, but I’m letting it go.

Katie and Schwartz eat pizza in bed, where Schwartz makes a mess on the pillowcase. Katie says he’s next level wasted, but it’s cute. No, it’s not. It’s taking eww! to the next level too. She says if he blacks out and wants to make out with someone, it will most likely be her. There’s a knock at the door, and it’s Stassi, who feels badly, but can’t take Kristen being weird anymore. She came back to a wall of smoke and Kristen freaking out about being in another country. She’s being an a-hole. In her interview, Stassi says Kristen is hard to travel with. She went to Copenhagen with Kristen and Katie, and saw Satan. Kristen wouldn’t stop sobbing and screaming, so they left her, and went to Paris. I like it! She says she didn’t learn her lesson and just wants to sleep. Schwartz tells her not to make it weird. Stassi sees the sauce all over the pillowcase.

No one is in great shape to go to the waterpark. Stassi thinks she’s still drunk. Schwartz liked having her sleep with them. Not in a weird way, but it feels right, since she crashed their honeymoon. What’s one night in Mexico?

Tom tells Ariana that he didn’t think Jax would be the one to leave, and it’s not fair. Ariana says it’s grown up life, and he has to deal with it.

Jax ponders stuff while petting his rock. He wanted a peaceful birthday trip, and wonders why they’re fighting because of a job offer. He thought it would be cool to share. Brittany asks what’s going on, and he tells her that he’s just thinking. She’d better look out. His head might explode. She says everyone was drinking last night, and Tom says he took a beating. Jax doesn’t want to go through it again. He shows Brittany his negativity rock. We flash back to Kelsey telling him that it dissolves negative energy. He tells Brittany the rock is supposed to get rid of his negativity. She’s like, um… and tells him to have alone time with the view. He taps the rock on his forehead.

James says he didn’t fly to Mexico to not turn it up. They get to waterpark and start drinking. It looks beautiful, but crowded. Lala wants to sit in the water and sip a sh*t ton of tequila. Everyone gets their picture taken with some parrots, but Lala is afraid of birds. Ariana asks Stassi how the night went. Stassi tells her that she and Kristen fought like a tornado, and Kristen thinks she’s selfish because she wants to sleep. In her interview, Ariana makes fun of her, which is incredibly rude, since she’s the one who asked. She says if you’re going to room together, you have to compromise.

Jax is concerned about getting in the water, since he doesn’t want another Big Bear situation. Scheana explains that the altitude won’t affect him there. He doesn’t want to die in Mexico on his birthday. Scheana asks Kristen what happened, and Kristen says Stassi left. In her interview, Kristen says Stassi is being a stubborn bitch; blaming her, and playing the victim.

Kristen asks Stassi where she went. Stassi says it’s her trip too. Kristen brings up Stassi’s temper tantrums when she’s drunk, and Stassi says she’s terrible to travel with. If she was planning a trip, she wouldn’t invite Kristen. She freaks out when she’s out of her bubble. Kristen insists it’s both their faults, and if she can’t accept it, that’s an effing problem. In her interview, Stassi thinks Kristen needs to look at herself and make some changes. They’re old. Who does this? Kristen complains about Stassi some more, and wants to go home.

Lots of fun in the water – swimming, tubing, jumping off cliffs, snorkeling. Brittany tells Jax about a lemur family she saw, and how cute they were, but he seems underwhelmed. She asks why he’s by himself, and he says he’s chilling and enjoying the water. She feels badly about the fighting and yelling last night. In her interview, she says it was a train wreck. Jax deserves the girls going after him, but he did a good job at keeping calm. She thinks maybe the reiki is helping. Jax tells Brittany that he hasn’t done much to be proud of, but he thought she’d be happy for him about the job. He thought she was on board with going to Florida. In his interview, he says the big question is if Brittany is coming. Brittany tells him that it’s a lot to think about, and she doesn’t want to make a decision overnight.

More water fun! Some of the group does zip-lining. Schwartz says he’s not going back. Ariana says Kristen disappeared, and Stassi calls her an a-hole, saying she wanted to go home. She’d give anything to have a room by herself. There’s no safe place with Kristen around. She terrorizes Stassi, and it’s like having a member of Isis in her hotel room.

James says he’s trying to get along with everyone. He doesn’t want to pick sides, but Jax needs intel. He tells Jax about Scheana trying to set Brittany up with Adam. Jax says he’s pissed off. He’s trying to pull in his inner Kelsey, but it’s effing hard. James says Scheana is trying to break them up. Jax doesn’t get why Scheana is involving herself in his relationship. He tells James, welcome to his life.

James tells us that he always travels with mini steamer. His secret is spraying cologne before steaming. He smells like a god. Yeah, the God of Looney Tunes.

Ariana tells Schwartz he has a dad bod, or at least dad bod features. Schwartz is insulted, but it’s true.

Scheana talks about how she wasn’t going to use Wi-Fi or her phone on the trip. It was nice not to have a phone. It forced her to be present, but it only worked for a minute. She FaceTimes with Rob, who says he would be proud of them if they all turned their phones off. He tells her to be present, enjoy, and have fun. Lala thinks Scheana should take time for herself, and have girl time.

Stassi tells Kristen that she doesn’t want to fight. Kristen agrees that it’s stressful. She says travel freaks her brain out, and she has an anxiety attack if she’s without Carter. I have the feeling a lot more than travel makes her brain freak out.

At Villa Rosa, Lisa is cooking, and looks like my sister. Giggy! She’s trying something to put on the menu at SUR, and Ken is her guinea pig. He asks about Mexico, and she says Tom changed his attitude. In her interview, she thinks Tom and Schwartz have a better understanding of the direction she wants them to go in. We flash back to Tom’s new cocktail creation. Lisa says Schwartz is a puppy dog, and hopes he doesn’t have another blackout. His naughtiness coupled with alcohol is a recipe for disaster.

Brittany and Jax have a drink. He tells her about what James said. Brittany says Scheana told her that Adam had asked about her because they’d broken up. He knows they’re back together, and hasn’t acted on anything. He grills her about what minute Adam said he had a crush on her – was it before or after they got back together. She says it’s coming from Scheana, so not to pay attention, but he asks why she didn’t tell him. She says nothing came of it. She sees him at work, but he doesn’t have her number. In her interview, she says if Jax hadn’t cheated, this wouldn’t be happening. He started it. She tells Jax that Scheana just did it to make her feel good, and know there are other guys out there. Jax asks if Scheana didn’t just get divorced. In his interview, he wonders why his relationship is so important to Scheana, and why she’s making his life hell. He thinks she should put the same effort into her own relationship. Brittany asks if Jax intends on speaking to Scheana about it.

The group goes to restaurant also called SUR, but it doesn’t serve goat cheese balls. James jokes that there’s a TomTom around the corner. James and Jax are acting buddy-buddy, and in her interview, Lala says James is acting like a girl willing to give it up on the first date. He wants approval from everyone, especially Jax. Scheana starts another Rob riff, and in her interview, Brittany says, buckle your seatbelts. They’re going on a Rob and Scheana ride. We flash back to each time Scheana repeats something about Rob that she’s said before. Ariana call its TMR – too much Rob. Kristen zones out, and Scheana reminds her that she’s talking. Tom calls Lisa, and tells her he’s calling from SUR. She asks who this is, and hey all laugh. In his interview, Schwartz says he’s jealous Tom has her phone number, but really he’s too shy to ask. He has no courage to take the relationship to the next level, so for now, he emails. Lisa tells them to have fun.

Jax and Tom go to bathroom, and jump on a glass floor panel in the hallway. Not the wisest thing, but it’s Jax and Tom. Jax tells Tom about what James told him, and that he talked to Brittany about it. In his interview, Tom thinks Scheana crossed the line. Brittany made a choice, and she needs to respect that. She’s a big girl and can take care of herself.

Lala says James is amazing, and should share more of his experiences. He talks about being bullied back in the UK, and how his leg was twisted until it broke. He was called gay, and kids made fun of his features, and then it got physical. In his interview, James says people try to bring you down, but it’s about getting up afterward. He says when they moved to the US, his life changed completely. He went from having no friends and picked on to being the British kid everyone wanted to be friends with. In her interview, Kristen says this had a major impact on the way he acts as an adult, and the childlike temper tantrums he throws. Scheana thanks Brittany for the trip, and tells Jax how lucky he is. Even if he goes to Tampa, they’ll still love him. In his interview, Jax says his bullsh*t radar is off the radar. Scheana toasts to Brittany.

The group goes shopping, and look at penis flutes. Ariana plays one, and I think, why are you putting your mouth on something that other people probably have – and you’re in another country no less? They move on to a club. In her interview, Stassi says Schwartz drinks like a freshman from Florida State. Tom talks to Scheana about trying to set up Brittany and Adam. She says she just invited him and Brittany out to have fun with the group. In his interview, Tom says this is shady-ass sh*t. Scheana knew what she was doing. Jax asks to be filled in. Scheana explains she invited Adam for drinks, and he’d mentioned he had a crush on Brittany. Jax doesn’t have a problem with that, but says Scheana arranged a meet up. She says she wanted to arrange a night for Brittany to let loose, and know there were possibilities of life without him. In his interview, Jax wonders how she’d react if he did that with Rob or if he threw it in her face that Rob doesn’t love her. Um… isn’t the latter kind of what he did? She insists it wasn’t a date, but Brittany knew he was coming. Idiot never-enough-pot-stirring Jax calls Brittany over. He has to get to the bottom of this. Okay, Shaggy. In her interview, Stassi says that Scheana isn’t her favorite person, but she’s all for Brittany moving on. Anything else is a step up. Jax calls Adam a dishwasher, and in her interview, Scheana is glad he’s upset. Brittany doesn’t want to argue. Jax gets up and leaves the group, totally pissed off.

Next time, Lisa says they can’t have another dog, the guys go golfing, Kristen throws a drink in James’s face, and Katie is concerned Schwartz doesn’t know where he is.

🚤 The gang at Summer House attended a Rosé All Day party, where they began drinking straight from the bottle on the way there. I haven’t drunk straight from a bottle since high school. True story. I was on the subway late one night, when a small group of people got on who were all dressed up. They asked if anyone had a bottle opener, and I just happened to have one on my keychain. They used it to open a bottle of Perrier, and also pulled out a bottle of Remy Martin along with some glasses. They asked if I’d like to join them in a drink, but unfortunately, I had other plans. Too bad there aren’t more subway riders like that. Next time, Summer House mercifully concludes its season. Stephen dons his queen costume again, as well as a sheet mask, but not at the same time.

⛅ On Bravo’s Spring Break Preview Special, Jerry O’Connell and Cameran Eubanks gave us glimpses of the shows to come: Southern Charm and sister show Southern Charm New Orleans, The Real Housewives of NYC and Potomac, Your Husband is Cheating on Us (where actors share a house while rehearsing for a Tyler Perry like stage production), and Imposters. The most interesting moment though, was when Jerry did an impression of Dorinda Medley that sounded more like Harvey Fierstein doing an impression of Dorinda Medley.

⏰ I Can’t Believe It’s This Late Early…

PupSleep

Mar20

March 19, 2018 – Jim is Backed Into a Corner, SUR Invades Mexico, a Little Ramble, Tuesday & Ed Grimley

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Griff puts stickers on the charts, covering some information. He gives Brad the subjects’ DNA, and asks if he can put a rush on it. Brad doesn’t think he can.

Jim’s thug asks Jim what he’s supposed to do with Franco and Drew. Jim says keep them on ice for a while. He can’t risk being exposed. The mayor already has his number, but has as much to lose as they do.

Olivia-Q tells Ned that she’s considering running for the school board. She’s tired of hearing parents complaining about bussing in kids from the Charles Street district. She’s going to bitch slap the next one who says they can’t be accommodated. Ned tells her to go for it. She asks if he’s going to bail her out for the assault charges, and he’s like, what? She asks what has him so distracted. He says he’s the newly elected mayor, and asks if recovery from the earthquake isn’t enough. Sam and Elizabeth walk in. They need to ask him a few questions.

Franco looks at the door. Drew asks what he’s doing, and he says remembering he doesn’t know how to pick a lock. He’s sure Jason could open it with no problem. He’d stare at it, and after alternating waves of intensity and aloofness, the door would lose confidence. Ha-ha! I love Todd Franco.

At the MetroCourt bar, Jason gives Anna the PK Sinclair manuscript. She asks how he came by it, and he tells her it was in the fireplace when they tracked down Britt. She said it just showed up, and shook Faison. Jason guesses he tried to burn it. Anna is glad the publishing house has the rights to Faison’s nom de plume, especially if Henrik turns out to be the author.

Maxie stops by Peter’s office to thank him. She apologizes for the vasectomy story, and he says it certainly was creative. She was right about Nina being super sensitive and overprotective of her and the baby. She has good people who care about her. She says with Nina worrying for her, it leaves her time to think about other things. He’s hoping one of them is the Crimson budget; Nina will find a way to adjust with her help. She tells Peter that she’s going home, and he asks if she means she decided to go back to the apartment.

Sam and Elizabeth tell Ned about Drew and Franco being missing, and that the police won’t help them look because they’re dealing with the earthquake. Ned says they can’t expect him to ask the PCPD to divert their attention from the disaster relief. Sam says they need to contact Jim, and they know Jim is a friend of his. Ned snaps at them, saying that man is not his friend.

Jim’s thug hopes he’s right about Mayor Quartermaine being in his pocket. Jim thinks a little time in solitary will persuade Drew and Franco to keep their mouths shut. The thug asks what if it doesn’t, and Jim says then they eliminate them. The thug says, you mean…? Jim says, kill them. What else would he mean? He tells the thug not to look surprised; there are no other options. The thug says he signed up for making millions, not killing people. Jim tells him to wait for his signal. Hopefully, they won’t have to take drastic action, but they have to make sure Drew and Franco aren’t found. Jim doesn’t seem to be a very good criminal or businessman. I’m shocked he’s actually made any money. Or that he’s lived this long.

Franco tells Drew that he had a bad moment, but it’s not all his fault the plan went south. Drew takes responsibility for the plan’s failure, and suggests they get back to the time they trusted each other. Or was giving him the rabbit’s foot an empty gesture? Franco says, no, he meant it. Drew says what’s liberating about being trapped together, is that they have nowhere to go; they’re stuck. If Franco has anything to get off his chest, there’s no time like the present. Franco says he’s good. Drew says then he’ll focus on getting out, and suggests Franco do the same. Drew looks at his hand, and says, you’ve got to be kidding me. Franco asks if there’s somewhere he has to be, and Drew says his wedding ring is missing. If they stole it, he’s going to kill them all.

Anna tells Jason that at the time, she was too close to give an objective analysis to the manuscript. Faison is no longer a threat, so she’s going to go through it, page by page. Jason says Spinelli ran it through a program that can predict the ending, and he can send her the information. She declines, saying she needs to be sure she’s reading the author’s thoughts; his creation. With any luck, it will bring her to Henrik.

Maxie tells Peter that she knows it’s weird. She can’t stand to be in the apartment, but she’s fine in the hotel. He says it’s her grief, and it’s up to her how she chooses to deal with it. She says she’s not mourning the way Nathan died, but she’s mourning their life; the years they could have spent with the baby and Georgie. The office might be connected to his death, but had nothing to do with his life. The apartment is her life without Nathan; accepting reality, and letting go of the plans they had. She’s not sure she’s ready. She almost didn’t have Nina bring her back, but after she heard the test results, she was so relieved, she told herself she had to live on for their child, and asked Nina to take her home. Peter asks what she found, and she says mail piled up. Everything addressed to Nathan. His unfinished business waiting there, and he’s not coming home. Peter hugs her.

Griff says he knows it’s the type of thing Brad usually delegates, but it’s important. Brad tells him that he  hasn’t provided a third party authorization. Griff says Brad has a reputation of asking for forgiveness rather than permission, but Brad says that’s before he and Lucas decided on adoption. He tells Griff that the adoption will be closed, and finding his birth parents affected his family. Griff wasn’t aware Brad was adopted, and Brad says Lucas was too, but he would know that, having known Lucas for so long. Griff asks for a favor as an old friend of Brad’s husband. Brad says he likes this side of Griff better than the holier-than-thou side, when he wore his stethoscope around his collar, but he’s not comfortable getting mixed up in this thing. Griff tells him he’ll be running the test on the side of the angels, and Brad says, there’s the Father/Doctor Monroe we know and love. He asks why it’s so important.

Elizabeth tells Ned that Jim was his biggest supporter. Ned apologizes for snapping; he has a lot on his mind. Sam asks if there was a rift between him and Jim. Ned says, no. He supported measure A and Jim’s redevelopment, but after the earthquake, it was a sore subject. Sam says Jim’s not picking up the phone, and asks if Ned knows where he’s staying. Ned gives them the motel information, and they leave. Olivia says the way they’re working together, you’d never know they hate each other. Ned asks if she noticed they were playing good cop/bad cop. I didn’t, but Olivia did. She says Ned was crawling out of his skin, and asks what gives? He has something he needs to tell her.

Jason asks Anna what she’s hoping to find, and she says, clues. Jason thought Faison never left a trail, but she says Faison the author wasn’t as cautious as Faison the spy. He left clues in his books. If Henrik follows the formula, there might be a message intended to lead to Faison to his son. Jason says Spinelli didn’t find any leads, and Anna says he doesn’t know the author like she does. Jason says Henrik could be completely different. Since they’re working together, he’d like to know the real reason she’s so invested in finding Henrik.

Maxie says she’s sorry, and Peter tells her that she has nothing to apologize for. She promised herself that she wouldn’t break down again. He suggests helping her with the mail, but she says Nina already took it. Except for this piece. She takes an envelope out of her bag.

Ned explains Jim’s motives to Olivia. He didn’t care about redeveloping Charles Street; he wanted what was underneath it. Olivia says he talked a good game, but she knew there was something she didn’t like. Funny how everyone keeps saying this now. Ned tells her drilling for gas is risky, even when properly regulated. When he was confronted, he had zero remorse. His motivation is greed and self-preservation. Olivia says he has to be held accountable, and Ned says, so does he.

Sam knocks on Jim’s door, saying she saw his car outside. He opens the door to find her and Elizabeth. Elizabeth says they’re looking for Franco and Drew. Maybe he can point them in the right direction. He says he would if he could, but he hasn’t seen them. Sam tells him that they said they were going there. After he told Drew what Franco had done, Drew was going to confront Franco, but they haven’t heard from either of them since. Elizabeth says she and Sam thought maybe they came back there. Sam says after Franco threatened Jim, she’s afraid he did worse to Drew.

Drew and Franco can’t find the ring. Franco wonders if Drew put it in his pocket, but Drew says it never comes off; it’s a part of him. He gives Franco the rabbit’s foot, saying he doesn’t want to lose it. Franco says Jim told him that he’d been a bad boy, and his mom wouldn’t believe him. Nobody would ever believe him, because everyone knows he’s just a liar.

Anna tells Jason that she needs to debrief Henrik, as an alleged co-conspirator. Jason thinks there’s more to it, and she explains about the disease Faison had, saying Henrik needs to be told. Jason asks why that’s her job.

Maxie hands Peter the envelope, saying that Nathan opened a trust account for the baby. As soon as he found out she was pregnant, he started a college fund. He was practical, a planner and saver; one of them had to be. He would have been a great father, and now the baby is stuck with her. Peter says she’s a terrific mother already. She tells him that she had it easy with Georgie. As difficult as the separation has been, she has Spinelli and Ellie, and Ellie makes Spinelli look like a beatnik in comparison. She lives beyond her means, and is constantly screwing up. Peter reminds her how far she came in the company, and that she trained Nina. Maxie say that’s just her job, but he thinks it shows understanding and responsibility. Nina would do anything for her; he’s experienced her dragon glare. Maxie says when he puts it that way, she almost believes him.

Griff tells Brad that the patients are high profile and want discretion. Once the test results are on file and the records match up, he’ll get the third-party form. He needs them as soon as humanly possible. Brad will actually be helping a lot of people. Brad says okay, but he’s trusting Griff, addressing him as Father.

Sam tells Jim it’s important, and asks if Drew contacted him. She knows he needed answers as much as Franco wanted to hide them. Elizabeth insists he’d never hurt Drew. Jim says the last time he saw Franco was before the earthquake, and he hasn’t seen Drew since they were at the hospital. Sam wants to give him her number, and walks over to the desk. Jim whips the paper on the desk out from under her, saying it’s proprietary information, and rolls it up. He tells Elizabeth this must be troubling, talking to her in the doorway, which leaves Sam to look around. Elizabeth is worried, since they’re in a disaster area, but she had faith that Franco would never hurt Drew. Jim says the truth is that “Bobby” did what he did to Drew, and kept it buried inside a long time. If they’re both missing, she does have something to be concerned about.

Drew if Jim was talking about the top of the stairs when he called Franco a bad boy. Franco doesn’t know. He remembers seeing Jim at top of the stairs, and Drew at the bottom. Drew asks if he remembers pushing him, and Franco says no, but he doesn’t remember that he didn’t.

Anna tells Jason that she’s beyond grateful, and hopes they continue to work together. What she’s not telling him has nothing to do with the search. She says Robin told her that she trusts him the most to have her back, no questions asked. She hasn’t earned that from him yet, but she’s asking him to treat her like her daughter. She needs him to trust her. She has her reasons.

Maxie thanks Peter for talking, and says he should start charging her. He jokes that he’s docking her. She says going back feels impossible, and he says, until it isn’t. She wonders when she’ll know. He says she won’t be thinking about it, and the next thing she knows, she’ll be standing in doorway. She says she’ll trust him on that. She’s sorry he didn’t get chance to know Nathan. She thinks they would have liked each other. She leaves and forgets the envelope. By the time Peter realizes, she’s gone.

Olivia tells Ned not to think of blaming himself; it’s all on Jim. Ned says he let him drill, but Olivia says Ned let him start construction. Ned tells her that he approved the plan. She says he had no idea, but he says Jim sees it differently. He’d said that given the fact they were working closely, and he was advocating the redevelopment, no one will buy that he was completely in the dark. Olivia says he has no proof unless he has something on tape, but Ned says he doesn’t think the city can take it. Thanks to Sonny, they’re already synonymous with organized crime, and the last mayor stole the election. How is it going to look? The office will still be tainted. How is he going to accomplish anything if they think he was in bed with public enemy number one? Olivia asks what he’s going to do, and he says the only thing he can do.

Jim claims that Franco was in a rage and out of his mind. He could have done something and left town. Elizabeth says, not the Franco she knows. He says it’s difficult to hear the truth, but what reason would he have to lie to her? Sam gives him a paper with her number on it. He says sorry that he couldn’t be more help, and they leave. Outside, Elizabeth tells Sam that Jim knows more than he’s telling. Sam says she found proof, and holds up Drew’s ring. She found it on the floor. Drew was wearing it the last time she saw him, so he was in that room. Jim lied.

On the phone, Jim says too many people are catching on. Yeah, like the whole town. He says, they’re out of options. Take care of them.

Drew says if Franco pushed him or didn’t, they were just little kids. What they do know is Jim is lying, and whatever he’s hiding must be bad. Look where they are. Everything that happened in the past doesn’t matter. What does is getting out and getting answers. They’re going to get them together. He asks if that sounds okay, and Franco says it would be great. They hear the beep of a truck backing up.

Olivia ask if Ned is out of his mind, but he says there’s no other way. She says he’d better think of one. Mayor Ned Quartermaine doesn’t run away, abandoning the city and its people when they need him the most. He says she’s right. He needs to make sure Jim doesn’t get away with it. She says after that, he might want to stay mayor. Let this play out, and trust the people of Port Charles to know who he is, and that his intentions are pure. He wishes he had her faith. She knows how much he loves the city. He wants to make it better. He wants them to see the Port Charles that he knows; the potential he sees. He doesn’t see it happening on his watch, but Olivia says maybe he still can. They’re going to save the city, and she knows just how to do it.

Griff sees Brad leaving the hospital, and asks where he’s going. Brad says, home. His husband made dinner, which is risky at best. Griff thought he put a rush on the test, but Brad says Griff knows they’re not instantaneous. He’ll have it in the morning.

Jason trusts Anna. Whatever she can’t disclose, he knows she has her reasons. She thanks him for his discretion and the manuscript. He thinks it seems to be getting more personal, but he’s not asking why. He hopes whatever is in the manuscript helps her find what she’s looking for. Anna says she does too.

On the phone, Peter says they spoke a few months ago about a manuscript. He’s ready to publish it. He knows how the story ends. He looks at the envelope Maxie left.

Tomorrow, Jordan hopes to find what she’s looking for, Sam isn’t letting Jim out of her sight, and Curtis says he has him.

Vanderpump Rules

Have I mentioned how much I hate Jax?

Tom comes in early to work on cocktails. Lisa tells him to give her something she’s never tasted. They’re meeting with TomTom’s designer, Nick Alain today. Tom wants to prove himself, since annoyed Nick in the Vegas showroom. Lisa tells him not to make it more convoluted than it is already. In her interview, Lisa wants them to leave the designing and organizing to her.

Stassi meets Lala’s music producers, since she’s helping plan Lala’s showcase. Lala is leaving the fancy sh*t up to Stassi. They all check out the venue, the patio of The Phoenix restaurant, which has a satellite bar. Stassi wants it like a sexy, dark, mildly haunted house. She and Lala share a giant pretzel, and Lala asks how Stassi felt about girls’ night. Stassi says even though she’s tried to communicate with Ariana, it’s Ariana’s way or the highway. She says everyone gets shamed for calling someone else out, and then they end up apologizing. Lala calls her a gangster bitch.

Jax has an appointment with Kelsey, and asks Brittany to make herself scarce. He tells her that he’s asking nicely, saying these are the little things that will make the relationship better. In her interview, Brittany is not thrilled. Jax straightens up the apartment, so we know he’s looking at this as more than a reiki session. Kelsey arrives and has him center. In his interview, he says she breaks you down and rebuilds you. Whenever he sees her, he has the best day of his life. He calls her the Jax whisperer, and I gag. He tells her the trip is giving him anxiety. He’d love it to be one big happy trip to Mexico, but that’s not their group. He got a job offer in Tampa doing client relations, social media, and marketing for hockey. Kelsey tells him he’s almost ready to be released, but there’s a lot of emotional and mental stress. That will happen when you try to think without a brain. She gives him some stones to dissolve negative energy. Have I told you that I hate Jax? I hate those stones too.

Brittany asks how it went. Jax says it’s always amazing. Kelsey is helping him cope with his issues. Brittany asks what she’s doing that helps so much. He says she knows how to get through to him. He says blah-blah-blah you need patience with him. Kelsey calls him Jason, because he wants her to know the person he used to be. Brittany says he never asked her to call him Jason, and this is coming out of nowhere. He tells her about the position he was offered, and says it’s a dream job. They’re going to pay him to talk about hockey. In her interview, she says he’s acting like this has been a lifelong dream, but she’s never even heard about it before. He says he doesn’t see much holding him back, and there’s nothing there for him. He’s been living a Peter Pan lifestyle. Brittany says she’s been waiting for him to grow up too, and he whines that she can’t just say it’s nice. She says he knows he’s immature, and he tells her that he has to take care of himself first, and this is what he wants. She says they’ll figure it out when everything is confirmed.

Scheana manages to feed the cat, and gives Rob some fast food. She tells him girls’ night was fun. She thinks Brittany got her mojo back after Jax took it. Rob says it’s Brittany’s choice, but Scheana says sometimes it’s easier to stay, which is why she hesitated to get a divorce. Rob shows her logos for the Divorce Closet. She’s impressed at his work ethic. She asks what her role is. He wants her to be the face of the company, but he has majority equity. She tells him his eyes are very blue today, because her attention span is approximately five seconds. She tells Rob, the day they’re flying out to Mexico, her divorce is final. The next time she’s married, it will be to him. He says, wow, but not like, Wow! It comes out sounding more like, ugh.

Lisa visits the stables. it gives her a respite from the challenges in LA. Brittany meets her, and says she’s nervous, since she hasn’t ridden in a while, but just being around horses makes her think of home. Lisa is glad she came out, and asks how she’s doing. Brittany says she and Jax haven’t been fighting, and she’s planning the trip. Lisa wonders why she needs to make things better when he’s treated her like crap. Brittany thinks the trip will be good for them. In her interview, Brittany explains that Jax seems like a different person outside LA. I have an idea. How about finding a different person than Jax? She tells Lisa about the reiki sessions, and how they help Jax calm down. Lisa asks if the therapist is a man or a woman. Brittany tells her a woman, and Lisa suggests a conventional therapist. Brittany says Jax went once. Lisa thinks she should look after herself in the situation. In her interview, Lisa wonders why put up with Jax’s bullsh*t. She’ll never understand it. She doesn’t see him changing any time soon, but it’s what Brittany signed up for.

Construction is happening at the TomTom site. Lisa has the Tom and Schwartz observe. Nick Alain arrives. She wants it to be his masterpiece. He shows her a sketch, including a huge swinging pendulum. Lisa asks if he’s been smoking pot. He shows her another sketch. It’s all very steampunk, and Lisa says he’s a genius. Tom says they worked on five cocktails. He’s brought them for her to try. He starts with a mescal cocktail containing scorpion chili pepper. Lisa says she thinks she’s been stung by the scorpion.

Kristen goes over some outfits for the trip with Stassi.

Lala shows Scheana her spray tan. Scheana didn’t know they were going Oompa Loompa.

The plane ride is drinking, sleeping, and selfies. More drinking commences at the hotel upon their arrival. James says, I’m in Mexico, bitch, like he’s Jesse Pinkman. Their room has a private pool, and Jax is surprised Brittany has gone out of her way to make his birthday awesome. He should be surprised she’s still with him. I’m stunned. Schwartz opens ten-dollar peanuts from the mini bar, saying he’s opening a bar with Lisa and Ken. Things have changed. Katie is impressed they’ve made it through a year of marriage. The trip already feels different from previous ones. We flash back to some of those, and they weren’t pretty. Katie says they’re making amazing happy memories to eclipse the not-so-happy ones. Schwartz hopes they have sixty more years.

Brittany and Jax check out their pool. James and Peter show up, but Jax says he’s not coming out to where the peasants stay. In his interview, James says it’s the first time he’s been invited to Jax’s birthday, and he feels over the moon about it. I guess it doesn’t take much. Jax feels better, and thinks it has to do with Kelsey. What an a-hole. I can tell you this, if your dude is talking to you about another woman like that, get out. Jax says he’s in his own little world, and tells Brittany he loves her. She says she loves him too, and I want to cry.

Kristen bounces on the bed. Stassi tells her at two a.m., it’s lights out, and don’t deny her basic human rights. Kristen wails it’s her vacation too. Stassi points out that they have a balcony. The last time they had one, Kristen and Tom were dating, and she was going to throw herself off. We flash back to that. Stassi tells her to stay away from it, and in response, Kristen opens some tequila.

Tom exfoliates and does his hair, explaining how it’s a different process in the Mexican climate. He’s a manscaping chameleon.

Jax takes Tom and Schwartz aside, and tells them about his new job opportunity. He’s 95% on the side of taking it. I have to say it. A “job opportunity” does not mean you have the job. We see a clip of Brittany telling him that he sprung it on her, and they haven’t really talked about it. She says she loves her friends, and he tells her that they don’t pay the bills. She says it’s a lot to think about, and not an overnight decision, and he says, for her. In her interview, Brittany says he’s not even thinking about her feelings, especially after the heartbreak she’s gone through. It seems like he’s just thinking about himself yet again. Listen, honey, he’s the one who put you through that heartbreak, and if he’s not thinking about your feelings at this point in the game, he never will. She doesn’t get why he didn’t come to her. He decided without talking to her. He says they’re talking right now, and she tells him It seems like he’s made up his mind without asking her. He asks if she’s going to make him turn down his dream job, and she says maybe she’s not his dream girl. She had a dream of being in a good relationship, and not being cheated on. In his interview, Jax says he’s burned out with the constant battle. Please. She tells him to let her know when he has a definitive answer. She wants to focus on being in Mexico and having fun.

SUR survives without this motley crew. Lisa tells Adam and Wesley that their problems are miles away. Adam wants to go from barback to bartender. Lisa says on a Saturday night, he might have to make 350 drinks. In her interview, she explains that being a barback, doing whatever is needed behind the bar and replenishing whatever the bartender needs, is different from a bartender. Bartending is a skill, and takes more talent than being a gorgeous specimen. She asks Adam to make a mojito. In her interview, she says he needs a lot of work in this department, even though he’s already better than Jax. We see some clips of Jax being the worst bartender in the world. Lisa says he’ll have to focus if he wants to make it work. Adam says she makes him nervous, and Wesley says there are customers tougher than Lisa.

The group in Mexico meets for dinner, and Brittany says they’re going to a natural waterpark tomorrow. They toast with tequila shots to Scheana’s divorce. She has a countdown app, and it’s official. She tells everyone that Rob is a man who hangs a TV in seven minutes. In her interview, Stassi suggests that Scheana get a new hobby, like crossword puzzles. Although if Scheana did one, all of the answers would be Rob. Ha-ha-ha! I love Stassi. Stassi says she has nightmares about those three letters. She doesn’t even like mariachi bands, but wishes one would come by.

Jax takes Tom and Schwartz aside, and says he’s gotten a blessing in disguise. He got a call from a friend in Tampa, where there’s a position open in social media/marketing. They’d love to have him head it up. I’m still trying to figure out how this is a blessing in disguise. Disguised as what? A job offer? Tom asks what that means. Jax doesn’t know <snort>, but says it’s his dream job. In his interview, Tom says he’s known Jax for fifteen years, and would miss him. He doesn’t want the band to break up. Schwarz asks who he would make horrible decisions with. Jax says he’s 38, has no education, and needs security. This is huge. In his interview, Jax says he’s happy for Tom and Schwartz, but he’s also jealous. He’s been falling into his old patterns, and is ready for something else. He tells the Toms that he hates to say it, but it’s time to grow up. He needs something in his life. They three-way bro hug.

Brittany tells the girls and James about the job. Katie says he’s had a few job opportunities over the years. We see clips from him starting a sweater line and a fitness app. She says she’ll believe when she sees it. Stassi asks Brittany about moving with him, and Brittany says he just sprang it on her. She’s not saying or doing anything yet. Lala is annoyed with Jax, and Scheana wants to hook Brittany up with anyone else. Ariana says Adam has a crush on her, and thinks they should invite him out with them. James says Jax will go mental, and I think of Ed Grimley.

Jax joins them, and Ariana asks what’s up with Tampa? How serious is the offer? Jax says he’ll be doing events. In her interview, Stassi says he can’t tell them what it’s called or what he has to do besides tweet about hockey. Ariana wants to make sure Brittany also does what she wants to with her life. Brittany asks if he remembers what her dream is; she did it in high school. Ariana says they all know. Brittany asks if he doesn’t remember her talking about tutoring disabled children. In her interview, Lala says he’s been with her for two years, and doesn’t know sh*t about her. Brittany says she’s told him ten million times that she’s wanted to help with disabled kids. Lala tells Jax that he’s no longer single man, it’s a partnership. He asks if it’s between him and Brittany, or him and her? Lala says she’s watched him disrespect people over and over, and he needs to respect Brittany. In her interview, Lala says Jax is being a jerk, and to bullsh*t around with the coolest girl ever shows that he’s full of it. Jax tells her to take care of her own relationship. James thinks Jax is going to lose his temper, and Tom suggests they pump the brakes on this. Stassi says whenever she walks past their apartment, she hears the disrespectful way Jax talks to Brittany. Tom tells her that’s inappropriate; she’s his ex. Stassi says he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and Kristen says she thought he was Brittany’s friend. Tom says he just found out that his friend might be moving to Florida, and we all break out the violins. Stassi leaves, and Lala follows. Jax says it’s a whole ten minutes into the trip.

Next time, fun in the water, Stassi accuses Kristen of being a terrible travel companion, Rob thinks Scheana should turn off her phone, and Scheana tries to hook Brittany up with Adam.

🍻 It continues to be a wasted summer on Summer House. Kyle acted like a drunken fool, after which he claimed they “were all embarrassing.” I hate that. The worst person to party with in the world is the one who says, “we were all drunk,” when they were the one who was the idiot. New guy Amit seems more mature than the others. I think they kidnapped him.

💅 The Real Housewives of Potomac will be back on Sunday, April 1st at 10 pm. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. With this show, I’d have to agree that they are all embarrassing.

😵 Other people I mix up who aren’t Black. Jon Bon Jovi and John (Cougar, not Cougar) Mellencamp, and Cameron Diaz and Ellen Barkin. Just sayin’.

👯 5 Reasons Tuesdays Are Wildly Underrated

  1. It’s the Safest Day to Drive. Car accidents are LEAST likely to happen on Tuesday.
  1. You’re at Peak Productivity. People get more done on Tuesday than any other day of the week.
  1. Tuesday are Great Days to Change Careers. The Biggest Job Posting Day from employers is Tuesday.
  1. People Are Free to Meet. The most available time on people’s calendars is Tuesday at 2:30 PM.
  1. You Can Meet Your Gym Bestie. Tuesday is the most popular day for exercise classes… you can have both Gym and Tacos!

From – DarbySmart.com newsletter

👦 Ed Grimley

 

 

Mar6

March 5, 2018 – Port Charles Feels the Earth Move, the Toms Do Business in Vegas, a Few Opinions & a Little Steampunk

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Oscar and Josslyn go to the freezer so they can be alone. Everything starts to shake. The party is rocking, and not in a good way. The Quartermaine mansion is shaking, Jim’s office is shaking, the church is shaking, and Sonny’s place is shaking. Everyone ducks and runs for cover.

Sonny finds Michael knocked out. Things are flying and falling everywhere. What did Jim hit during his excavation?

Elizabeth asks if everyone is all right at the church. Ava calls for Kiki. She’s fine, but Ava is bleeding. Griff looks for a portable radio.

The lights go on at Jim’s site. He’s like, omg. Franco has been knocked out by a metal cabinet, and is trapped beneath it.

Funny, the station looks just fine, except for the lights being out. The phones are down, and an officer says Charles Street was the hardest hit. Curtis looks grim.

Sonny asks if Michael can hear him. Michael starts to come to, but fades.

Jason and Sam look around. She runs upstairs to check on the kids.

At the party, Drew asks if everyone is okay. Kim can’t find Josslyn and Oscar, and wonders where they can be. Check the freezer, which is where all of us go to make out.

Oscar and Josslyn come out from under the table. Josslyn thinks it was an earthquake. She was in one once, but it wasn’t this big. Oscar tries to open the door, but it’s jammed.

Sam says the kids slept through the whole thing. I identify, having slept through the worst of Hurricane Sandy right in the middle of it. Jason says there’s no cell phone service. Ned and Olivia come in. Ned says they’re lucky. Jason says the mansion was built on bedrock, rather than the sediment landfill closer to town.

Lulu calls for help. Transgender kid Dakota has been hurt. Trina says Dakota saved her by running interference. Kim says she’s a doctor, and they have to pop Dakota’s dislocated shoulder back. I cringe, and Dakota screams.

Josslyn and Oscar yell for help. Oscar doesn’t think anyone can hear. Josslyn says they can’t do nothing, but Oscar tells her his parents will notice they’re gone. Josslyn says, unless they’re hurt. Oscar is sure someone will find them.

Jordan gives everyone instructions. Curtis starts to leave, but she says he’s still in custody. Just because it’s an emergency, it doesn’t mean the charges were dropped. She tells him to sit down and let her deal with this.

Jim asks if Franco can hear him, but Franco is out cold. Don’t move the cabinet or anything, Jim. Jim runs out. Hopefully to get help, but who knows; he’s such a jerk.

On the radio, there’s an announcement of a massive earthquake. Residents are told to stay indoors. Griff looks at Ava’s wound, and says it should be fine. Ava asks if anyone was hurt, but he doesn’t think so. The radio says the epicenter is where the main damage is, and it’s minimal in the outside neighborhoods. Residents are advised to stay off the roads. Doc sees Scotty knocked out.

Ned says he needs to be downtown. Olivia-Q says she owns a hotel, and should be checking on the guests. Jason tells them the roads need to be kept clear for first responders to get through. Sam asks if Jason can take her to town on his bike.

Kim makes a sling for Dakota. Drew can’t find Oscar and Josslyn. He says it’s bad out there. Two buildings have collapsed, and the construction across the street is a sinkhole. He asks if the kids have any idea where Josslyn and Oscar might have been before the earthquake. Trina says she saw them headed to the back room, probably to be alone. Kim and Drew go to look for them.

Oscar says there’s still no phone service, like this would change in two minutes. It’s still freezing, and he says there must be a backup generator to keep it cool even if the power goes out. Josslyn says it’s working, and Oscar gives her his coat, saying her goosebumps have goosebumps. She says they wanted to be alone; they got their wish. He asks if she’s played Never Have I Ever, and explains if you’ve done something, you take a sip. They both have cans of… soda? I can’t imagine it would be anything else, since Oscar has the fear of Sonny and Carly in him. He says never have I ever broken curfew, and they both drink. Josslyn says, never have I ever cheated on a test, and neither drink. Oscar says never have I ever fallen in love, and they both drink again, making googly eyes at each other.

Jordan sends out units to evacuate the area. There’s a broken gas main, and a fire spreading. She wants a mandatory evacuation. Curtis says he’s going to check on TJ, Molly, and Stella, but Jordan calls Officer Tucker over. She tells him to go to the 300 block and look for them. She describes Stella, but Tucker remembers her from almost being arrested. Curtis says if he finds her, be polite. His auntie has no patience for bad manners. Jordan asks Curtis to show his gratitude by not trying to escape custody.

Michael comes to again. Sonny helps him sit up. He wants to check on Avery, but Sonny says Ava took her for a sleepover. The generator kicks in, and Max asks if everyone is okay. He checks Michael, and asks him questions about things like what month it is. Michael says the one after February, and Max thinks Michael has a concussion. He has to be kept awake until they get some help. Michael insists he’s fine. He asks about his mom, but Max says there’s no sign of Carly or Mike.

Scotty starts to get up, and Elizabeth sees that his leg has been impaled by something. She calls Griff over, and he tells Scotty not to mess with it. Scotty wonders if he’s going to have to live with something sticking out of his leg, but Griff tells him that he doesn’t want to bleed out; right now, it’s keeping that from happening. Scotty says, no, he doesn’t. He tells Elizabeth that Franco loves her, and mumbles something about a secret. Elizabeth asks, what secret? 

Franco opens his eyes, and tries to get the cabinet off of himself. It won’t budge, and he yells for help. Someone comes in. It’s Mike. Wth? Was he wandering around and is totally unhurt? Franco asks for a hand. Mike asks if he’s all right, and Franco says, does he look all right? Mike asks if this is Post Street, and wonders where the apartments went. Franco says they were demolished for construction, since they didn’t know an earthquake was going to get them out of the way. He says if Mike doesn’t mind, he has somewhere to be, and could he give him a hand? Mike tries to lift the cabinet.

Scotty passes out. Griff says the longer he’s there, the more opportunity there is for infection. Ava says the radio is out, but they’d said there was minimal damage west of Broadway. They decide to take Scotty to the hospital. Kiki says she’s coming too, but Ava thinks they should stay together. Kiki says she’s needed at the hospital, and Ava tells her to be careful. Griff asks for help with the tourniquet.

Jordan wonders how she’s supposed to manage the crisis and Curtis at the same time. She tells him if he leaves, he’s a fugitive, and if she lets him leave, it’s corruption. He tells her that he can do work she can’t. There hasn’t been an earthquake since 1991. Then Jim arrived. What if his excavation caused the condition for the quake? She says he can investigate when she’s legally able to release him. Curtis says if Jim is involved, his ass should be in a jail cell. Suddenly, his leg gives out from under him.

Sonny asks Max to check the grounds. Max tells Michael not to fall asleep. Michael tells them to find Mike and his mom. He’s not going anywhere until he knows they’re safe.

Sam needs to know Drew is okay, but Jason says he can take care of himself. Ned agrees, like he gets a vote (no pun intended). Sam begs, and Jason says he’ll take her.

Oscar starts to kiss Josslyn, but she seems really groggy, and loses her balance. Drew and Kim call out, asking if they’re back there. Oscar yells, telling them they’re in the freezer and need help. Josslyn says they’re not hurt, but really cold. Drew can’t get the door open, and looks around for something to pry it with. Kim tells the kids to hang on.

Elizabeth tells Doc she’s going to stay and wait for Franco. Doc asks if she’s sure. Elizabeth says unless Doc knows something she doesn’t, he’s coming. She doesn’t know why he’s not there, but her instinct says he loves her and will come for her. The cheese Elizabeth stands alone in the church.

Mike tells Franco the cabinet is too heavy. Franco tells him to find a board or something for a lever, or find someone else to help. Mike says, can do, and leaves. Great. He’ll forget two seconds out the door.

Jordan takes Curtis to the hospital, telling Amy that his leg went out from under him. Amy asks Dr. Park to check him. The doctor asks if he was hit by any debris. Curtis says nothing terrible, but Jordan adds that he was thrown to the ground and something fell on him, so there’s that. Jordan’s phone rings. It’s Ned. Jordan asks how everybody is, and says she’s waiting for a unit update. She finds out that Ned has talked to the governor, and she says they can use all the resources state can provide. She shows Amy a picture of TJ and Molly, but Amy hasn’t seen them.

Lulu finishes up Dakota’s sling. Trina thanks Dakota for saving her life. Dakota thinks that’s a slight exaggeration, but Trina says either way, Dakota was brave. She wishes bigoted Troy would stop being an idiot. Besides being the paintball dude, Troy must be the bully Oscar fought with. Dakota says Troy thinks freaks like him are sinful, and should be punished. Troy probably thinks the earthquake was the wrath of God. Lulu says Dakota is a hero, and as a mom, she’d be proud if her kids showed the same courage. Everyone smiles.

Josslyn starts to feel tired. She takes off Oscar’s coat, but he’s afraid she’ll get frostbite, and insists she wear his shirt. They sit, and get under the coat. Josslyn is glad she’s with him, and he says, him too.

Jason tells Sam the roads are blocked, and they’ll have to walk from where they are. Mike sees Jason. He’s confused. Wonderful.

Sonny asks if Michael is seeing double, and Michael says he’s better. Max tells them there’s no sign of Mike. Sonny wants all of his guys looking. He needs to get Michael to the hospital.

Jordan visits Curtis, who’s lying in a hospital bed. She tells him there’s still no word on TJ, Stella, or Molly, and he hopes no news is good news, Jordan asks if he’s going to live. He says he’s got a bandaged leg, a saline drip, and the hottest law enforcement official with him. Who could be luckier? She cuffs him to the bed, and says he’s still under arrest.

Elizabeth hears the sirens. She picks up a bouquet of flowers, and goes down Memory Lane about Franco. We flash back to them becoming friends, their first kiss, and their developing relationship. She remembers him telling her that he’d never intentionally hurt her, and her telling him that they’ll face things together or not at all. We flash back to them deciding to get married, and Franco’s proposal. She says Franco will be there. She knows it.

Kim tells Oscar and Josslyn to hang in there. Drew tries a crowbar, but has no luck. How about taking the hinges off the door?

Franco says he’s got to get to Elizabeth.

Mike asks who Sam is. When she reintroduces herself, he says she’s Jason’s wife. Sam asks if he hit his head, and Jason asks if he needs to rest. Mike thinks he’s okay, but tells them he was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Jason asks why he’s there, and he says he came for a reason. He just can’t remember it.

Drew gets the door partway open, but something is blocking it. He and Kim see Josslyn and Oscar, who look like they’re sleeping.

Tomorrow, Jason asks Mike who is trapped and where, Michael needs to find out about Nelle and the baby, Nelle feels a contraction, and Oscar and Josslyn aren’t okay.

Vanderpump Rules

The SUR staff is back at work. Scheana thinks it’s amazing how fast Lisa gets things done. She says all SUR needed was a little Botox, just like everyone else in West Hollywood. Lisa talks to Tom about the designs for TomTom. He asks how early the appointments are, and she says he’s going to learn what it’s like to have a day in the life of the Vanderpump regime. Jax tells Lisa that he’s coming to supervise the girls. She asks if they had fun in Big Bear, and Jax thinks James still likes Lala. Tom says it was awkward. Lisa says she’ll see Tom in Vegas, and will be avoiding Jax.

Lala brings Scheana to the recording studio. Scheana says she used to bring Shay there when she recorded, but thinks this will be a better experience. Lala wants to start taking music seriously, since it’s therapeutic for her. She wrote the song For You for her man. She put her own money in, because she doesn’t want her man coming to collect when she hits the Billboard number one spot. I advise her not to hold her breath.

Scheana tells Lala that Jax has been talking about Rob. She says maybe she is more in love than Rob, but Lala says even if he said that, why is it a big deal? He’s a man. She says this is called dating, and welcome to adult life. In her interview, Lala thinks Scheana needs to slow it down, and wait on the marriage and baby talk. Men get spooked. You need to ease them in.

Katie and Schwartz pack. Schwartz feels like he has a lot to prove. It’s his first real business trip.

Brittany tells Jax he’d better behave. He says they’ll probably party the whole time. The priorities are drinking, then business.

Tom says he and Schwartz are walking toward their future and can’t screw it up.

They check into Planet Hollywood. The Toms get VIP treatment. Jax claims not to be jealous, but…

Ariana says the suite is insanity, and if this is what it’s like working with Lisa, sign her up. The couch suspended from the ceiling is pretty cool. Schwartz says he’s been known to walk the line between business and pleasure. Sometimes it gets blurred, but they’re going to be on their best behavior. They toast to business, and move on to the pool where there’s an amazing water slide.

Back home, Lala, Scheana, and Billie order drinks. Billie says she’s an emotional mess. Her ex can’t commit. He can’t get over that she once had a penis, and she wishes he could look at her soul and spirit instead. Scheana says she used to feel lousy with Shay, and now that she’s with walking-on-water Rob, she knows he’s the right person. Lala tells them that she has a meeting with Stassi to help plan her showcase. In her interview, she says she wouldn’t have believed it a year ago, but Stassi’s events have been stellar. She’s nervous about working with James. Scheana thinks he should be as good of a friend to Lala as she is to him. Lala says he is, until he has one sip too many. She says she’d take a bullet for him, and gets emotional. Billie suggests he might have feelings for her or a crush on her. Isn’t that the same thing?

Ariana and Katie get ready to go out. In her interview, Ariana says Katie is different when she’s not with Stassi and Kristen, creating the three-headed monster.

The guys do some gambling and have shots. They toast again to business.

Brittany meets the girls, wearing almost nothing, and carrying a pregnancy test. She’s been throwing up, and doesn’t think there’s any way, but wants to know for sure. She’s not on birth control. Katie asks if they “pray and spray,” and Brittany says that’s best way to say it. In her interview, Katie doesn’t think they should be rolling the dice. I can barely understand a word, since my mind clouded over when she said they don’t use birth control. Are they insane??? And aren’t you supposed to do the test in the morning? Brittany goes to the bathroom. Ariana says she’s not ready for this. Neither am I. Brittany comes out, they wait for the results.

Tom declares the curfew to be one thirty-ish. The girls join them. Brittany tells Jax that she keeps getting sick, and he asks if she’s pregnant. In his interview, he says she can’t be. He’s very careful, and pulls out every time. Well, not every time, but a solid 75% of the time. I don’t even know what to say; I’m so stunned. Brittany takes out the test, and he says, are you really? She tells him to read it, and laughs. Schwartz is like, omg, and Brittany says Jax is lucky. If they lived in Kentucky, they’d have at least two kids by now. He’s living in Neverland. She’s not pregnant, and in his interview, Jax says he’s 10% disappointed. He thinks be a good father, and he’s almost forty. I’m sure he’d make a great father. Except for that leading by example part. I’m going to assume this was done for the show, since no one seemed to be having much of a reaction, except for laughing at the end, but I can only pray that they’re lying about not using birth control. Please. People can’t be this stupid and breed on top of it.

Stassi meets Lala at the bar. She hates sake, but Lala is a client, so she’s drinking it. I love sake, but it’s sneaky. It goes down smooth, and you think you’re good, then you get up to go home. Lala says even though they had issues, she’s always kind of liked Stassi. We flash back to earlier times when they were at each other’s throats. Stassi relates to Lala because she gets over-emotional and defensive, and reminds her of herself. Lala admires that Stassi is loyal, and stands up for what she believes in. Stassi thinks the venue should be somewhere that already has a bar. Lala says James is performing one song, but it’s her showcase. She’s been connected musically with him in the past, but this time, the showcase is all about Lala. In her interview, Lala says it’s time she spread her legs [sic], and be the person she’s meant to be musically. The producer points out that she said, “spread her legs.” She laughs, and says she meant, spread her wings. That was a good one, and seemed genuine.

Lala tells Stassi about James coming for her when they were at Big Bear. She wonders how they can make it so he has no alcohol until he’s done with his job. Stassi says she needs to decide if she’s okay with having him around in a professional manner.

The group goes to a robot bar. Jax says he would think it’s cool if he wasn’t a bartender. He thought it was a safe zone. They move on to gambling, which I know nothing about, so have no idea what game they’re playing. Schwartz says the rules are no shots after 6 a.m., water with each drink, and no going to the ATM. He also puts the vampire law into effect. Once the sun comes up, you run to your room.

The couples tumble into bed. Schwartz says he has a big day coming. Tom thinks they must be the only people up in Vegas, but Ariana says Jax is wide awake. A few hours later, Schwartz is impressed that he and Tom are ready on time. They’re not sitting at the kiddie table anymore.

Jax says Brittany freaked him out. Brittany thought he’d be mad, and at least he has the decency to ask why. In her interview, Brittany thinks Jax would be a good dad. He’d have fun playing with the kids, but it would be like the dog situation, and she’d have to take care of everything. I hear you, sister.

The Toms go to a showroom with Lisa and Ken to look at restaurant stuff. Lisa tells us that each restaurant has its own personality, And TomTom will be different than the others; she has a vision. It’s not going to be pretty, but industrial romantic. She wants wrought iron, chandeliers, Edison bulbs, and to be more architectural. Sounds kind of like Steampunk to me. She and Schwartz look at dishware. Lisa tells him that his opinion matters. She’ll never use it, but it matters. In her interview, she says she wants the restaurant to have a masculine edge – unlike Tom and Tom. The sales VP gives Lisa a BOGO deal. In his interview, Schwartz says shopping with Lisa is like playing one on one with LeBron James. Lisa says they were actually on time and looked pretty good. It’s nice to know they can listen and learn, and maybe it will work out after all. She tells them there’s a meeting at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Schwartz feels professional. He takes portable Jell-O shots out of his pocket at the store.

The group gathers around the suspended sofa. Jax gives Tom a guitar for his birthday, and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Tom says Jax does sh*tty things, but can also be a nice guy. There’s a kind heart buried underneath somewhere. Tom plays, and the girls get a birthday cake together. It has a penis drawn on it because Tom just turned fourteen.

Lisa has reserved a private dining room for the Toms and their ladies. They sip rosé, and Tom wonders if this is what it’s going to be like working with Lisa. Ariana says it feels like being a trophy wife. In her interview, Katie says it’s all she’s wanted for Schwartz. He’s finally excited about and committed to something. They agree that James would order a pizza.

James does a photo shoot with Lala and Raquel as an audience. His DJ gig is doing well, and he wants bigger and better things. Next, he’s throwing a party under a blimp. Lala tells them about going to the studio with Scheana. She says since Scheana had recorded before, she put her ass in a booth. We see a clip, and she stinks to high heaven. Lala says she loves Scheana with all her heart, but she’s tone deaf, and that part is getting cut. Lala’s boyfriend isn’t coming to the showcase because he has to work. James thinks if her man can’t take a night off to support his girl, it’s sad. Lala says it’s not James’s showcase, and he’s not allowed to drink until after the performance. He claims to be professional when comes to music, and they toast to no drinking.

Tom won’t stop making jokes involving the word quack, because they’re having duck. Schwartz asks what the curfew is, and Tom says 3 a.m. at the latest. In his interview, Tom says they’ve matured now, and are climbing the mountain to success. Nothing is getting in his way.

At eleven o’clock, they take a limo to Tao, and the others meet them there. In his interview, Tom says he only has so much restraint. A line of women come out with neon signs spelling out Tom’s name, and a giant cupcake with a candle in it. Many, many shots happen. Jax stops Schwartz from drinking directly out of the bottle. Schwartz says he’s letting Tom take the lead, and Tom says the same thing about Schwartz. Tom tells Schwartz another hour, but somehow, they get back in the limo shortly after three.

Lisa meets with the Caesar’s entertainment guy. Her rosé is going to be served there. Pandora is also at the meeting, and wonders where the Toms are. Lisa is getting concerned.

At 10:20, Ariana and Katie tell their significant others they’re late for the meeting. Schwartz says he’ll have to take an Adderall to focus. No judgement, but that makes two cast members openly using that not for its intended purpose. Lisa wonders where those two little twits are.

Lisa is getting worried, and only has so much patience. Schwartz says he’s sweating Fireball, and his hair smells like cigarettes. Lisa says it’s not looking so good. It’s the antithesis of what happened yesterday. She’s not impressed by their actions, or their odor; they smell like a brewery. Lisa doesn’t want them lagging behind. They go to the designer’s showroom.

Lisa calls him a genius, and says he’s more than a designer; he’s a craftsman. They look at some pieces, and I’m thinking definitely Steampunk. I love it. Lisa picks some things out. She says there’s a lot to think about in putting a restaurant together. It has an image. It’s not just about food, but a whole experience. She sketches some things for the designer, and he gives her some ideas. Lisa tells the Toms to settle down or do something else; they’re making her nervous. They tell her they’re just excited, but it’s that point in the hangover when you’re still a little drunk, and God knows what they took in the morning to wake up. In her interview, Lisa says that when someone knows more than you do, you have to understand when to zip it. This could be that time. Lisa talks to Ken in the other room, saying they’re driving her crazy. Tom interrupts, wanting to show them something, but Lisa tells him to wait. In his interview, Tom thinks he said too much because he drank too much. He hopes Lisa isn’t questioning their partnership. Schwartz tells Tom that his liver is pickled.

Next time, Jax wears a man romper, James’s dad comes to his gig, and Billie is going on a date with someone Stassi thinks is creepy.

🏊 The parents came for a visit on Summer House. The only thing sadder than people still being prepubescent in their thirties, are the parents encouraging that behavior. After they left, Kyle had a birthday party, with the theme being a protest to growing up. I can’t imagine someone like him being in my circle of friends when I was thirty-five. Or even twenty-five. The party was filled with guests in Colonial costume – an ode to the Boston Tea Party – and Stephen dressed like the queen. Stephen seems to be the voice of reason on this show. Probably because, being gay, he isn’t distracted and brain-addled by so many boobies living in the house.

🌌 I’d love to see A Wrinkle in Time. It was one of my favorite books as a kid. I must have read it at least ten times. However, I’ve vowed to avoid anything under an R rating after seeing Secret Window with Johnny Depp. He was in the movie; he wasn’t my date. I felt like I was in the middle of a field trip, surrounded by lit-up phone screens. Unfortunately, my peripheral vision is really good, and it was totally distracting.

😩 The latest in TV advertisement stupidity are the commercials for medicine, both prescription and OTC, warning us not to take it if we’re allergic to it. And while you’re at it, let me remind you, that plastic bag is not a toy.

🎩 A Little Steampunk…

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Feb27

February 26, 2018 – Mike is Spending the Night, Jax Cheats Death, Tidbits & Advice

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Chase says Sonny’s father committed a crime; he’s going to have to stay. Sonny explains Mike was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and didn’t know what he was doing. Chase says it must be incredibly difficult, but Sonny says it doesn’t have to be. He’ll compensate Ava, and the whole thing will be over. Let him take Mike home tonight. Chase says unfortunately, they’re past that. Sonny says he didn’t know where he was, and Chase says he vandalized the gallery. Sonny tells him it was an accident, and suggests Chase put himself in his shoes. Mike is a scared man. Chase says it’s not that he doesn’t have compassion, but they have security footage. He caused damage, and already has a record.

Ava says she was going to tell Griff that she loved him on Valentine’s Day. Griff says he’s flattered (ugh!) and doesn’t know how to respond. Really? He’d just got done telling her that he actually goes to the movies sometimes, he had a grandiose affair with Nathan’s ex-wife, and now he’s acting like he just fell out of a tree. There’s probably nothing worse than saying you’re flattered when someone tells you they love you.

Oscar and Josslyn go to Charlie’s to plan the alternative dance party. Josslyn tells Julian she’s grateful for his help with this, but it’s the only thing she’s grateful for. Brad comes in, and Josslyn congratulates him. Julian says he must be out of the loop, and Brad says that’s why he came there. He and Lucas are adopting a baby. Nelle comes in with a surprise for Josslyn.

At the phone booth near the river (not to be confused with a van down by the river), Carly says it’s dark, and they might have missed something. While she’s wandering around, Dante tells Jason that Morgan was killed in an explosion near there; the car he was driving blew up. He says that Carly had no idea of the location until he traced the call. Jason thinks there must be something more to it. Carly comes back, saying she didn’t find anything, but she’s received multiple calls from this number. Jason says he’ll look around. Dante tells Carly maybe it was just a bad connection, but she says she knows the difference between static and a bomb. Dante says there’s nothing there. She asks what about surveillance cameras or dusting for prints? She needs to find out what the hell is going on.

I miss a part here because my dogs are acting like idiots. Kind of like how everyone is acting on this show today. Maybe it’s catching.

Griff tells Ava that he doesn’t know how to respond. She says if he told her that he loved her right now, she wouldn’t believe it anyway. She tells him to consider her love a gift. He can carry it around to remind him of how special he is. She adds if it’s a burden or makes him uncomfortable, don’t waste time in letting her down easy. Just let her down right now.

Josslyn opens the box Nelle brought her. It’s a pair of boots. Josslyn says they’ll go perfectly with the dress Nelle gave her. That’s what Nelle thought, and tells her that they’re from the same runway show. They’re hers for the foreseeable future. Josslyn says Carly will freak when she sees them, but Nelle thinks maybe not in a good way. She wasn’t exactly thrilled when Nelle came through with the dress.

Brad tells Julian that he’s there on behalf of Lucas. He hopes to make it clear to whoever asks that Julian won’t be a part of their child’s life.

Dante tells Carly that a lot of people have touched the phone. Carly says she’s not making it up. Something happened there, and she’s not talking about Morgan; it’s something recent. Jason brings back a guy he introduces as Cal, who has a camp set up nearby. He says Cal told him someone has been using the phone to make calls. Well, yeah. That’s what people use a pay phone for. Carly asks if Cal can give them a description.

Chase asks Sonny since Dante is his son, if he often looks the other way when it comes to Sonny’s dealings. Sonny tells him absolutely not. This has nothing to do with his “dealings.” He asks if Chase can’t see that Mike is sick and needs help. Dante has compassion and understanding, and would let him go. Chase says maybe he could too, if it wasn’t his first week. He’s sorry, but what happens is for a judge to decide. Sonny says he’ll call his lawyer, but Chase says it’s too late to get the DA out of bed, let alone a judge. Mike is stuck there until morning.

Griff tells Ava that he’s not conflicted about being with her. He loves it. He just doesn’t know what falling in love means. He shut that part of himself off. He thinks about her all the time. Just the thought of seeing her brings a smile to his face. She’s smart and challenging, and forces him to examine his mind and heart. He didn’t realize how bad he needed it, but it’s because of her that he’s changing. It’s confusing and complicated, but he wouldn’t have any other way. It’s exhilarating, but he’s terrified.

Cal asks Carly why, and she says it’s important. He says he didn’t talk to them, but saw them. They were young, with good clothes, and nice hair; not the type he usually sees. Dante asks if it was a man or a woman.

Nelle tells Josslyn that she figured Carly had told her about it. Her mom was mad because she thought Nelle was manipulating her with the dress. Josslyn says that’s crazy; she was just doing something nice. Nelle says she was hoping by giving her the dress, it might broker some sort of peace for the baby’s sake. Carly wasn’t having it any more than she wanted Nelle to name the baby Morgan.

Brad tells Julian if anyone shows up from the agency, to tell them that he’s estranged from his son, and won’t be involved in the child’s life.

Joss thinks it would be weird for her. In Carly’s mind, there’s only one Morgan; their Morgan. Nelle says Josslyn hates the idea too. Josslyn says she doesn’t, but can understand why Carly would.

Cal says it was a guy. Dante says, well-kept and put together? Why use a pay phone? Cal says, hiding, probably using and needs a refill, and someone gave him the wrong number. The dude wasn’t happy. Jason asks if there was an explosion, and Cal says, yeah, a big one.

Sonny tells Mike that Diane said the same thing, and will be there in the morning. He hasn’t been able to get ahold of Dante. He asks Chase if he has any idea when Dante is coming back. Chase says it’s time to take Mike downstairs. Sonny suggests taking him home, and bringing him back before the sun is up. He can’t stay in a cell by himself. Mike says he’s tired and wants to go home.

Griff tells Ava that when they met she was vulnerable, and she’s herself again. This has nothing to do with the scars. She’s strong, beautiful, and courageous with a successful career. He’s afraid his drive and passion won’t live up to hers, and worried they won’t fit anymore. She asks if he’s breaking up with her.

Julian asks if Lucas and Brad never want him to have a relationship with his grandchild. Brad says, yes. So he and Julian’s son can have a family. He has a criminal past, and it could lower their chances of becoming parents. They can’t risk it.

Josslyn tells Nelle that she can see where her mom is coming from. Nelle says she was trying to do something generous by honoring the son Carly loved. Josslyn doesn’t want to dredge it up, but says that’s when it all happened. They were drowning in grief over Morgan, and Nelle did that weirdness with Sonny. Nelle says she was messed up, and apologized over and over. Josslyn says she’s forgiven Nelle, and they’re obviously friends. Nelle doesn’t see how, if Josslyn thinks of her that way. Josslyn says she doesn’t. She and her mom are two different people, but that doesn’t mean she can’t see things from Carly’s perspective. Nelle agrees that’s fair, and asks how things are with Oscar. Josslyn asks Oscar if they’re good, and he smiles. She asks Nelle about the baby’s last name, and Nelle says that depends on Michael. Josslyn asks if Nelle is leaving it up to him, and she says it depends on how their relationship is when the baby is born. Nelle wonders if there’s a chance they’re getting back together.

Dante asks Cal what kind of explosion, and Cal says, violent. Carly asks where, and he says the pay phone; the druggie freaked out. They realize he doesn’t mean a literal explosion. Cal says he’s here every day, all day; no one else comes there except to use the phone when they want something. Jason gives him some cash for his trouble. Dante tells Carly to block the number, and she thanks him for hearing her out. Dante leaves, and Carly asks if Jason thinks she’s lost her mind. He says, no.

Mike tells Sonny that he can’t stay; Rita is making pot roast. Sonny asks Chase if this is who he’s throwing in lock-up. He doesn’t know where he is. He’s confused and sick, and Chase can’t do this. Chase says it’s protocol. Sonny tells him to forget protocol, and be a human for once. Chase tells him to calm down and back up. Dante comes in, and asks what the hell is going on. Mike calls him Dominic, and says he’s Dante’s landlord.

Griff says he’s worse than he thought at this. He’s not breaking up with her; he thought she was breaking up with him. She asks if he’s serious. Does he think she’ll get bored and trade him in? He doesn’t think she’s that shallow or fickle, but she might decide she’s better off without him. She’s the most independent woman he’s ever met. He can’t say I love you right now, or promise she’ll be his first priority all the time. She tells him that she respects that, but he asks if she can live with it.

Nelle tells Josslyn that she loves Josslyn’s brother and always will, even if they’re not together. Once you fall in love, the feeling never goes away, even if it changes. Josslyn says, who knows? A kid can bring a couple closer together. Nelle says that’s for Michael to decide, and tells Josslyn to promise not to tell Michael or her mom what they talked about; Carly is already dead set against them being together. Josslyn says her lips are sealed. Nelle tells her that sometimes she feels like the whole universe is against her. Josslyn says, not her and Oscar. Nelle says, in that case, can she ask a favor?

Julian tells Brad to let Lucas know he’ll do whatever he wants, and he’s there if Lucas ever changes his mind. Brad says he will, and leaves.

Josslyn tells Nelle of course she’ll come to the baby shower. She has a little niece or nephew in there. Nelle wonders if Carly will have a problem with that, but Josslyn says Carly can’t tell her who to be friends with.

Carly tells Jason that she hasn’t been there since Morgan was killed. She couldn’t bring herself to see the place where it happened. The moment is seared in her brain forever. She remembers being on the couch, reading, and waiting for Sonny to come home. She heard the door and smiled. When she saw him covered in dirt and wet. She asked what happened. He said he was in the river. She wondered what the hell he’s been doing, but then knew something happened. She didn’t want to hear it, but he kept telling her over and over that Morgan was dead. She kept trying to call Morgan, but he never picked up. Her mom came over and gave her a sedative, and when she woke up, she convinced herself it was a bad dream; everything was fine. But everything wasn’t fine. Morgan was dead and not coming back. Jason says he’d give anything to go back and stop it. Carly says it was all horrible, but the worst part was that they thought Sonny was responsible. Tensions between Sonny and Julian were bad, and Sonny gave the order to kill Julian. He stopped the order, but thought he’d been too late. If Sonny had killed Morgan, that meant she did too, because she had to be with Sonny no matter what. It turned out not to be true. Jason says that doesn’t make her grief any less. Sometimes they think they’ll get peace or be closer because they have answers, but it’s still a loss. Morgan is still gone. Carly cries, and he holds her.

Sonny tells Dante they got Mike’s diagnosis today. Dante asks who’s taking care of him, and Sonny tells him that Mike lives with his girlfriend of five years. They seem solid, but this changes things. Dante apologizes, saying there’s nothing he can do  about Mike having to spend the night, but he’ll take care of him. Sonny tells Mike he’ll see him in the morning. Dante tells Mike he’ll be with him the whole night, and he’s in good hands. He takes the cuffs off of Mike. Will someone feed this poor guy for God’s sake?

Mike tells Dante that Sonny and his quack doctor are wrong; he’s fine. He calls Dante Dominic again, and when Dante corrects him, Mike says he was just messing with him. Dante says he has a family now, and shows Mike pictures. The Bachelor walks across the bottom of the screen, startling me, since it looked like he was walking out of Dante’s wallet. I hate those ads during the programs. That’s what commercial breaks are for, and God knows I pay enough for FIOS. Mike says he’s a lucky man, and Dante says Mike has to meet them; they can do that tomorrow. Tonight, he’ll have to stay there with him. Chase says he sees Dante decided to forego procedure altogether because he’s a moron. Dante tells him to go to hell. Thank you.

Ava tells Griff that when she was at lowest, he was there. When she needed saving, he put her first. Now that she’s healed, she doesn’t mind if he gives someone else attention who needs it. She hopes someday he can say I love you and mean it. If not to her, to someone. She wants him to know what it feels like. She tells him that he is enough. He’s all she wants; don’t doubt that. He says ditto, and hugs her.

Nelle tells Josslyn that she has an errand she forgot to run, and jets from Charlie’s.

Carly comes home with Jason. She’s glad Sonny is there. She asks what’s wrong, and he tells her that his dad sick; he has Alzheimer’s. She asks if there’s a timetable, and he says a man of his age has four to eight years, if it’s caught at the beginning. They don’t know when the onset was though. She knows he’s blaming himself, and Jason says it’s not his fault. Sonny doesn’t know what to do. There’s no cure, and Griff can’t tell him how long Mike is going to live, so he can’t plan anything. Carly says they’ll figure it out. Sonny wishes he’d known. He starts to cry, saying he wishes he was able to give Mike something to hold on to.

Griff asks Ava where they go from here? She says back to her place, and what they should have done on Valentine’s Day. She tells him they’ll take it one day at a time. Griff says she’s the best thing that ever happened to him. She says, likewise, and they kiss.

Chase asks if that’s how it works. Dante’s family gets special privileges? Wow. This guy is a real tool. I’m sure he’ll end up having his reasons, but right now it’s not a good look. And since it is his first week on the job, you’d think he’d hang back and see how things work before irritating a veteran cop. Dante says he could have done the decent thing, and shown some sympathy to a sick man. Mike doesn’t belong here. Chase says he’s new to the department. The last thing he thought he should do was cater to a well-known crime figure. Dante says Sonny is a son terrified for his father. Mike says he’s got to get home. Chase says he really doesn’t understand? and Dante asks, what do you think? I’m not sure he does.

Sonny says now Mike is in jail, scared out of his mind. Jason says at least he has Dante. Sonny asks what Carly wanted to say, but she tells him it’s not important. Sonny wants to make carbonara sauce. Carly offers to help, and when Sonny and Jason just look at her, she says she can drink wine while he cooks. Sonny goes to the kitchen. Carly tells Jason that it’s going to tear him apart. He’ll need them. Jason says, then they’ll be there.

Nelle goes to the pay phone with a case of vodka. Cal says the box better be full, and she says there’s more in the car. He tells her that he was a regular Tom Hanks. They ate up the story like it was their last meal.

Tomorrow, Maxie asks Peter about what he’s gone through, Elizabeth asks Franco if he needs to tell her something, and Anna tells Andre that finding her child is a matter of life and death.

Vanderpump Rules

Rob wishes he could have gotten some sleep. We flash back to the loud argument between James and Lala in the wee hours. Lala asks James if remembers their conversation, and if he’s going to be kind today. In his interview, he says he wants to protect her. The relationship she’s in is bad for her, and he can’t respect it. Scheana thinks James and Lala have a weird relationship. They hooked up years ago, now they’re like bro and sis, and fight all the time. She doesn’t get their dynamic, but if it works for them… Jax tells Brittany that it’s frustrating to hear about Rob every five minutes, like he’s the risen Christ.

Lisa supervises some new chandeliers being put in at SUR. Stassi asks about TomTom, and Lisa says it’s a mess. She has a lot going on. Stassi asks if she ever just kicks back and watches TV, but Lisa says not lately. In her interview, Stassi says that she thinks if Lisa has free time, she shops for ponies or polishes her diamonds. On the other hand, she probably pays someone to polish her diamonds. She asks if Lisa will do her podcast. She could tell the audience how to get a man in a couple of months. Lisa asks if she wants a personal education course. Stassi says, a little, and tells Lisa that she feels like a pita. Lisa says, why change now?

Tom tells Ariana about talking to Jax. We flash back to Jax bemoaning that he’ll never be anything except a bartender. Tom says Jax literally couldn’t take a breath.

James hangs out on a waterboard, while Jax does pushups on the deck. Jax decides to swim to the buoy and back. Rob tells him to take his time. Jax gets winded quickly, and Rob says something about the sea level and tells him to chill on the buoy. Jax is feeling pain in his chest and realizes he’s not going to make it back. He calls to the lifeguard, who thinks he’s goofing around at first. His life flashes before all of us, and we flash back to several stupid things that he’s done. We’d never have time for all of the stupid things he’s done. The lifeguard swims out, and says no more swimming to the buoys. Lala tells the girls what happened while trying to keep a straight face. Scheana scolds her, saying he almost died. and they all burst out laughing.

James throws some bacon on, and Jax comes in, dramatizing about his brush with death. Brittany tries to be sympathetic, but starts laughing. He says a grown man almost drowned swimming one hundred yards.

Rob messes around with the boat. In her interview, Ariana says they really shouldn’t laugh. It would be devastation to lose one of their friends. But it didn’t happen, so they’re laughing. Jax says it’s ridiculous how Scheana talks about Rob. When someone says their relationship is perfect, it’s not, and what Rob says couldn’t be more different. Jax tells the group that he cheated death. Tom says he would have been fine; Rob was out there. Ha-ha!

Lisa is loving the new lights at SUR. She says the same designer is making the décor at TomTom. She says she’s going to Vegas, and she’s taking the Toms. She tells Katie that they’ll be under her watchful eye. She and Katie ask Billie about the podcast, and Billie tells them about going to Thailand to get a vagina because they make them prettier. She says she loves her vagina, and Lisa is like, alrighty then, and wonders if she needs a new one.

Tom tells Jax about Lisa taking him and Schwartz to Vegas, but it’s over his birthday. Ariana being left out of Vegas trips is a sore spot. We flash back to Tom ditching her for Vegas on her birthday. Ariana is like, wtf? Jax thinks they should make it a birthday trip. Tom says he’s waiting to find out the details.

Tom brings drink supplies to the boat. Lala takes her top off on the beach. She says she doesn’t see anyone, so she thinks no one will be pissed about their man seeing. She adds it’s what “normal” people do, but I think it’s more like what normal people on the nude beach do. Out on the boat, they travel to some cliffs that the guys jump off of. Except for Jax, who already cheated death today. They take turns being pulled on an inflatable raft behind the boat. Both Jax and Tom lose their bathing suits, and oddly enough, are both wearing bright pink underwear. Scheana says Jax looks awkward AF. Jax is surprised that Rob isn’t walking on water. In her interview, Scheana says Rob does it all, and she feels like she’s dating a real man. Him having a vacation home is a win-win. Wouldn’t that be more like a bonus? Does Scheana understand words?

Stassi visits Schwartz and Katie, who are grooming the dogs. Stassi wants the podcast episode with Lisa to be better than the last one. She doesn’t want to cry, and wants to keep it professional. They wonder if Lisa ever sits around in sweats and eats Taco Bell? Does she even know what Taco Bell is? Stassi says she hook a notorious playboy bachelor, and they got married in three months. Schwartz is curious about what turns Lisa on. In her interview, Katie says it’s no secret Schwartz has a crush on Lisa, but if hell froze over, and Ken and Lisa divorced, she doesn’t think he’d be her first pick.

They talk about Vegas. Schwartz says it’s a business trip. He muses that there’s a chance it could evolve into whatever debauchery they normally get into, but that’s not going to happen. Schwartz asks Stassi what’s up with Patrick, and she says she thought it would be different this time. He’s pissed about her birthday, and scared of repeating her mistake. Schwartz says it’s hard not to fall back to old habits if you’re drunk or in a bad mood. Stassi says they’re in a pattern they can’t get out of. They fight, break up, and get back together; it’s what she’s used to and it’s disappointing. Stassi wonders who likes psycho girls.

James says he was jealous of Lala’s relationship at first, and had to find someone, but he’s glad he did. James and Lala paddleboard, as Raquel watches. She looks so unhappy. I’m hoping that if she doesn’t get rid of this twerp by the end of the season, she does after watching this.

Rob drops the girls off back at the house, and he, Tom, and Jax go off on the boat to have a beer. Jax asks Rob if he ever goes off on the boat by himself, and Rob says it depends on his mood. Getting the house was his first opportunity to see if he was a handyman. Tom asks how it’s going with Scheana, and Tom explains that they dated years ago. He almost married a princess – her dad was the Prince of Brunei – but he wasn’t ready, and had to let it go. In his interview, Jax is like, princess with unlimited wealth and grace, and Scheana. Hmm… Tom tells Rob that Scheana puts pressure on herself. Rob says that he thinks I love you isn’t something to throw around. He loves her as a person, but he’s waiting to make sure she’s in a good place before he says the words. It’s easy for him to hurt people’s feelings. In his interview, Jax says Scheana claims they say it to each other every day. One of them seems to want it more. Rob says relationships are hard enough, why make it harder? In my interview, I say he doesn’t love her.

Ariana tells Tom that it sucks he’s going to Vegas over his birthday. He tells her that Lisa says the timeline is important, but he’d rather be with her. It’s their first business trip, and he doesn’t want to assume he can invite Ariana, but they can do something when he gets back. In her interview, Ariana says they just got to good place, and Tom is making them being together a priority. If it’s a business trip, by all means go, but if Jax is going, it all goes out the window, and they’re back where they started. Tom is the one who said he wanted to be with her. Figure it out.

Schwartz and Katie have a date night. He says it’s their one-year anniversary soon. He tells her that she turns him on when she’s reasonable. She says he has business partners now, and she never thought taking a job at SUR would bring her to him, and bring him to a business. He says he needs more responsibility in his life (said no one in their 30s in 2018 ever). A mariachi band comes over to the table. Katie realizes he hired them and is thrilled. In her interview, she says he can be an a-hole to her, but also very sweet and thoughtful. It shows he cares, and is thinking of her and wants to make her happy. The band reminds her of their engagement Schwartz Snapchats her picture.

Raquel talks to Lala, saying she notices her bond with James is different. It’s his behavior around her. It’s not her coming on to him; it’s bonding on a level other than friends. She doesn’t see him doing that with others, and is concerned. In her interview, Lala says it takes a tough bitch to deal with James. Lala tells Raquel that if she felt like he was acting a certain way, she would never disrespect her man. Raquel has nothing to worry about, with her or anyone else.

Stassi arrives at Villa Rosa to do the podcast. Lisa tells her that she’s at a distinct advantage. She’s had two glasses of wine, and her guard is down. In her interview, Lisa wonders what Stassi will talk about. Goat cheese balls? Spray tans? As an icebreaker, Stassi asks Lisa if she has a celebrity crush, and we find out she wouldn’t kick George Clooney out of her bed. She thinks philanthropy is a reflection of how a man is as a lover. She says Stassi has had more lovers than she has. Stassi asks Lisa if she’s a skank, and Lisa is like, um…  She tells Stassi that she met Ken when she was twenty-one. They got engaged after six weeks, and married after three months. They’d met through Lisa’s brother, and had an instant connection the first night. She says their first date was magic, and they fell in love immediately. Ken said he wasn’t giving her his number because he knew didn’t want to get married. She told him to ask anyway. He did, and she said yes. Stassi thinks her attitude is what attracts men, and Lisa says you have to meet on an equal level. Otherwise, it’s not worth going down the path. In her interview, Stassi thinks maybe if she wasn’t so focused on relationships, she could focus on her goal of world domination. In closing, Stassi asks if Lisa would rather swim in a pool of poop or dead bodies. Lisa goes with the poop option. In her interview, she says she was impressed with Stassi’s professionalism – until then.

Scheana has list of what has to be done before they leave. Tom and James get into bed with Jax and Brittany to wake them up. Jax says people forget he almost died, and it was exhausting. He says Rob is sleeping, and Scheana is trying to make sure the house is clean. Lala and James get in the hot tub. Ariana wishes they could stay forever. Tom says she should come to Vegas. In his interview, he says that one of the reasons he wanted to branch out was to provide a better life for Ariana. She’s motivating, so it makes sense to be with her in Vegas. He tells Ariana that he talked to Lisa, and she said it was fine, as long as she pays her own flight expenses. Despite him being annoyingly busy, he wants ot make good on his promise to make her a priority. And BTW, Jax and Brittany are coming too.

Lala tells James that Raquel feels there’s flirting involved with their relationship. She’s never seen him act toward other girls the same way. James says he found her, as in discovered. She says he was the first person she recorded with, and she’d always loved to sing. He met her at a place where she needed a friend. James says Raquel has to deal with it; it’s just how he is. Lala thinks he has some idea about unconditional love, but it doesn’t have to be that way with friends. Her boyfriend is basically family, and James needs to respect that. She’ll always pick family over him. In his interview, James says if he’d been successful, Lala would have come along, but he wasn’t. His point? Lala tells him that if he ever disrespects her, he won’t see Lala anymore. Both of them talk about themselves in the third person, which is incredibly odd.

Scheana tells Rob that she loves him, and he says, um… Lala didn’t sleep, and feels like sh*t. James says she doesn’t look it, and Raquel looks sad. Scheana wakes everyone up with what’s left of the chore list. Jax is glad he survived his near death experience. Everyone packs up and goes.

Kristen comes by Scheana’s apartment to give her a birthday present. Scheana talks about having a new project with Rob called “Divorce Closet.” Exes who have common property they don’t want any more can sell it through them on eBay. Why didn’t I think of that? She has a bunch of Shay’s old stuff. In her interview, Kristen says Scheana is inventing the most ironic business model by selling her ex’s stuff with her current boyfriend. Kristen tells her about Jax claiming that Rob had never told her that he loves her. Scheana says she knows her man loves her; his actions show it. She tells Kristen that Jax is threatened by Rob, and wants what they have. She says they’re in love, but Rob has a hard time expressing it, and they had that conversation. She knows he loves her because she feels it. He adores her. They talk about having kids and getting married. They’ve looked at houses, and even named their first kid. Kristen totally tunes out as Scheana babbles. She says Jax doesn’t deserve a conversation with her. He screwed with her relationship; she’s going to screw with his. He’s going down.

Next time, the Vegas trip, the Toms are late for the meeting, Lala tells James not to mess up her showcase, and Brittany might be pregnant. I saw the sneak preview on Watch What Happens Live, and Brittany and Jax don’t use birth control. Even for stupid people, that’s stupid.

⛵ On Summer House, Stephen said the summer was half over, and they were crushing it. I’ve seen them crush cakes, a watermelon, pool floaties, and each other, but that’s not my idea of crushing summer.

🍳  MasterChef Junior is back on Friday, March 2nd, at 8 pm, and Southern Charm returns on Thursday, April 5th, at 9 pm.

PupOnStress

 

 

Jan30

January 29, 2018 – MetroCourt Aftermath, Jax is Cornered, Still Summering & a Bit of Film

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Dante and Sonny go to Spoon Island. Sonny smells gas. Dante breaks down the door at the stables, but no Lulu or Obrecht. They see the gas can, and Sonny says it has to be Faison. Dante thinks a gas can in an empty room is odd, and wonders where he took Lulu.

Carly asks Jason, what if Faison dies? Jason says, at least he’ll be dead. He won’t get answers, but he saw how terrified Anna was, and says Faison has wreaked havoc in so many lives, it has to stop. Carly says she would want answers, but Jason says it wouldn’t change anything. It won’t return the time he lost. She asks if he doesn’t care, but he says if Faison dies before telling him, there’s someone else who knows.

Anna waits in the park for Henrik, saying she can help him. Peter arrives. She draws her gun. She asks who’s there, and if it’s Henrik.

Finn works on Faison. Griff tells Maxie the bullet is lodged against Nathan’s spinal column. She asks when they’re operating, and Griff says when he’s stabilized. Maxie freaks, and Bobbie tells her to let them do their work, and pray – it really does make a difference.

Amy says the blood bank is running low, and tells Nathan to stay with her. Both Nathan and Faison flatline. Griff does CPR on Nathan.

Valentin and Nina are back at Windemere. Valentin makes a fire. Just as they start to get cozy (or hygge, as we say now), there’s a knock at the door. Dante says, it’s the police. Nina says they’ve only been back ten minutes, and already they’re being harassed. Dante asks if Lulu is there. Nina says they just got back, and Valentin asks what’s going on? Dante says Lulu disappeared, and they think she was there looking for Faison.

Griff uses the defibrillator on Nathan. Both patients are revived. Griff tells Maxie they got him back, and they’ll operate as soon as he’s stable. Finn goes by, wheeling Faison on a gurney. Maxie wonders what’s up with that, and Finn says he needs surgery. Maxie wants to know why he’s going in first. Bobbie says there’s an OR room prepped and waiting for Nathan as soon as he’s stable. Griff tells her that if they want the best chance of Nathan’s survival and full mobility, they have to wait. Maxie insists he’ll be fine.

Anna says she doesn’t mean Henrik any harm. They share a common enemy – Faison. He’s hurt both of them, and she thinks she can help him. Jason shows up, and Peter jets without revealing himself. Anna tells Jason that someone was there, but they’re gone. She asks what happened at the MetroCourt, and Jason brings her up to speed. She asks if he killed Faison, but Jason says he’s still alive. He was taken to GH. She asks if he’s going to live, and Jason tells her that’s up to the doctors. I would say it’s up to God, or at the very least, the skill of the doctors, but I’ll let it pass.

At the hospital, Jordan asks if there’s any word. Maxie says whoever shot Faison did less damage than was done to Nathan. Jordan tells her that Jason shot him when he tried to hold Carly hostage. Maxie wants to know why Jason didn’t kill him. She has no compassion for Faison, the same way he had none for those he’s hurt. Nathan is wheeled past, and Maxie tells Griff to wait a second. She tells Nathan that she and the baby will be waiting when he pulls through, and to hang in for them. Griff says, gotta go, and she tells him she knows he and Nathan have their own history. I had to think about that for a minute. It was with Claudette, in case you forgot, and Nathan once shot Griff. She asks him to promise not to let it affect things, and to save Nathan. Griff promises he’ll do everything he can. I’m laughing because for someone who wanted Nathan in surgery so quickly, Maxie is the one holding it up.

Dante tells Nina and Valentin that Faison is in Port Charles, and they think he was hiding there. Valentin says they were on vacation. He could have moved in, and they would have had no idea. Sonny says they think Lulu was in the stables. They found an empty cannister, but no sign of her. Dante tells them that she was following a lead. Nina says Lulu has been a journalist all of two weeks, and now took it upon herself to search for the world’s most wanted criminal. Like what she did with Nathan, pulling him in to the interview. Sonny asks if any tunnels lead to the stables. Valentin opens a secret door (I love a secret door!), and Lulu runs to Dante. Obrecht walks past her, saying hello to Nina like nothing weird is happening. I love Obrecht.

Jordan asks Maxie what happened. Maxie says it’s blurry, and everything happened fast. There was a problem at Crimson, so she went to the office, taking Shane with her. They went to Nina’s office, and Peter was sitting there with a strange look on his face. She heard a thud, and turned around to find that Faison had knocked the officer out. When he asked Peter to move the body, Peter got Shane’s gun, but Faison shot him. Jordan is surprised Peter got shot. Maxie says she saw it, and thought he’d been hit, but he wasn’t. After Faison shot Nathan, Peter went after him. Jordan asks if Peter shot at Faison, but Maxie was focused on Nathan. Peter called 911, and helped her. Bobbie suggests they take a break.

Peter goes back to the MetroCourt. Carly tells him that the public areas and the offices are still sealed until the police get things figured out. Peter wants to get his iPad, and Carly is mystified that he wants to work. Maybe he wants to play Neopets. How does she know? She thinks he’s probably still in shock. Carly thanks him for the tip about Lulu, and he says he hopes they find her. Carly asks where he went, and his phone rings. It’s Jordan. She asks if he’s okay, and tells him she needs him to come to the station.

Anna asks Jason what happened with the cops, and he says they let him go, but he has to make a statement later. The security footage will back him up though. Anna wishes he’d killed Faison, and tells him not to tell Robin she said that. She’s tried to be honorable and principled for her, but hasn’t always been that way. It’s how Faison got to her in the first place. If she’d really wanted to be the good person she should be for Robin, she can’t put a bullet in his head the way she’s dreamt of doing. So she’s undertaken half-measures, like putting him in the pit, and he always comes back. Jason says, not this time. One way or the other, he has to die. Anna says she’ll pretend she didn’t hear that. The same way she’ll pretend to be surprised if he follows through. She’s going to the hospital in the hopes that maybe Faison is drugged up enough to tell the truth. Jason says there’s something she should know. Before he took Carly hostage, he shot Nathan. That was the disturbance at the MetroCourt. Anna says, his son?  

Dante asks Lulu how she got out. She tells him about finding the passageway, but by the time they made it to the tunnels, it was pitch black. Obrecht woke up enough to remember where the opening was. She tells Dante he was late, and she couldn’t just wait around. Sonny says the cannister seemed pretty old, and Lulu says Obrecht didn’t think the gas would be as potent after all this time. Faison left to go after Nathan, and Dante explains that Nathan was badly wounded. She asks if Carly is okay, and Sonny says she was just shaken up. Sonny leaves for the hotel, and Dante goes back to work. Nina says good thing they got home early. She wonders who’s watching Charlotte, and Lulu says she’s with Dante’s mother. Valentin says next time she decides to go on a tear, to let them know. Lulu thinks it was a good thing Charlotte was with Olivia with Faison lurking around. She says it’s interesting timing that they leave just as Faison needs a place to hide. Oh Lulu, drop it.

At the hospital, Anna finds out about Nathan and Faison. Jason leaves to talk to Maxie. Finn thought Anna might have been the one who shot Faison, but she says she was pursuing another angle. He tells her that she doesn’t have to act like it’s not difficult. She says it’s her job to deal with him, the same way his job is to treat him. Finn says, like it or not, and leaves to check on something.

Anna looks at Faison through the window of his room.

At the station, Peter isn’t sure what he can tell Jordan. He was dropping something off at Crimson, when Faison showed up. He didn’t seem interested in Peter, and told him to stay where he was. Then Maxie and her guard arrived. Jordan gets a call from Dante, who tells her that Obrecht and Lulu are safe. She tells him there’s something he needs to know about Nathan. Lulu sees Dante’s face, and asks, what is it?

Maxie wishes Jason had gotten to Faison before he got to Nathan. She tells Jason that Faison is out of surgery. He went in first, but she doesn’t think he was hurt as badly, and it’s not fair. He should be the one hurting, not Nathan. Jason says he’s sorry it happened this way, but at least he’s been stopped. Maxie asks if he’s sure, and Jason tells her that he’s going to make sure.

Anna stands over Faison. He opens his eyes. She says, oh good, he’s awake. She tells him they need to talk.

Sonny tells Carly about what happened on Spoon Island. He says it’s lucky Faison didn’t shoot her, like he did Nathan. She says if Lucas hadn’t been there, Nathan wouldn’t have made it; he’s in surgery now. Sonny asks about Maxie, and Carly says she’s trying to stay positive. Sonny wonders why Faison went to Crimson.

Maxie asks how many times Jason has been shot, and he says, a few. She wonders if it helps to have people who love you there. Can it be felt, or is that just something people in the waiting room tell themselves? He says he could feel it, and thinks Nathan can too. Maxie knows he wouldn’t say it out of politeness, so she’s sure he means it. He has Something to take care of, but tells her if there’s anything he can do, let him know. She asks him to make sure Faison never hurts anyone the way he hurt Nathan again.

Obrecht comes in to the hospital, and wants to assist in surgery. Bobbie says she can’t; she’s Nathan’s mother. Obrecht says no one cares more about him, but Nina tells her to let them do their jobs. Bobbie takes Obrecht to find out what’s going on, and Nina asks Maxie how she and the baby are doing. Maxie says, Nathan saved us; he’ll be fine.

Peter tells Jordan that Faison knocked Shane out, and told him to get Shane out of the way. He grabbed Shane’s gun, but before he could fire, Faison took a shot at him. He dove to the ground, and thinks he must have hit his head. He doesn’t remember anything until hearing Maxie screaming. He took the gun and aimed, but Faison ran. Jordan asks if he fired, but he doesn’t remember; it happened so fast, he’s not sure. Jordan says they can check the gun, and asks what made him think to pick it up? which is about the stupidest question ever. Peter says Faison was talking about taking Maxie, since she was carrying his grandchild. Jordan thinks it was a miracle Peter wasn’t shot. Dante and Lulu walk in, and Dante tells Peter that if Nathan dies, his blood is on Peter’s hands. Huh?

Faison asks Anna how Nathan is, and she says, fighting for his life. Faison says, the wrong one, and Anna asks if he’s talking about Henrik. He asks what she knows about Henrik, and she says, nothing. She just found out about him, which is surprising, considering the number of years Faison has tormented her. She asks if he tortured Henrik too, and if Henrik turned on him. It’s what he does to everyone. He says it wasn’t like that. It was never his fault. She asks whose fault it was, and he says, the Cassadines.

Orderly Neil tells Maxie he’s sorry her husband was injured. She says he wasn’t injured; he was shot. He knows it’s a difficult time, but decisions have to be made. They don’t know if Nathan is an organ donor. Maxie says, yes, but it doesn’t matter; he’s going to be fine. Does Neil know something she doesn’t? He says they just need to be prepared, but Maxie says, no; he’ll get through it. He’ll be there when the baby is born, and they’ll live long and happy lives. Bobbie tells Neil she’ll take over from here. Neil hopes Nathan pulls through. Maxie says Nathan has been shot twice and pulled through. Nothing will be different this time. Bobbie asks if Maxie wants her to call her parents, and Maxie says that would be nice. Tell them it’s serious, but he’ll be fine.

Carly tells Sonny there will be a lot of comped hotel bills, and he says Faison is the gift that keeps on giving. Ha-ha! She says Lulu practically dared him to come after Nathan; he must have been after Maxie. They can’t think of anyone else at Crimson who would matter to him.

Dante says Peter put this in motion, and for what? Money? Peter doesn’t get how Dante is blaming him, but Dante says he wanted the interview. Lulu could have been killed because of him. Lulu says she knows he’s worried, but Peter didn’t make her do anything. If anyone is to blame, it’s her. Jordan says, it’s been a long night, and asks Peter to make himself available in case there are more questions. Peter tells Dante for what it’s worth, he hopes Nathan pulls through (the phrase of the day).

Anna asks what Faison is talking about; what Cassadine? How are they connected? Finn comes in, and asks Anna what she’s doing. She says Faison has answers, but Finn says he won’t be much use if he’s dead. Anna tells him that she was told he was stable. Finn says that doesn’t mean she can wrestle with him. As soon as he’s in a regular room, she can question him, but bring someone with her. She says she can handle him, but Finn says she’s not hearing him. The maximum damage was done without killing him, and she needs to bring a witness. If he dies while she’s questioning him, no one will say she did it.

Jason looks through the window at Faison, and goes into his room. Don’t you dare, Jason. Although no one ever really dies on this show. Helena has been dead for years, and she’s still on recurring status.

Sonny says if Faison was going after Maxie, why not go to her apartment? Why go to where it’s complicated to get out, there are cameras, and potential witnesses? Carly says he’s arrogant. Sonny says he might be arrogant, but he’s also a professional. Why take the risk when there’s an easier alternative? What else would he want? That’s what worries him. Neither one of them has any idea.

Dante asks what Nathan’s chances are, and Jordan says it’s too soon to tell. Maxie and the baby were unharmed, but Nathan was shot in front of her. She’s holding it together, and they got a pretty coherent account. She tells him there’s a stray bullet at the office that needs to be bagged. It missed Peter.

Peter goes to the park, and looks in a garbage can. He finds a bulletproof vest, with a bullet lodged in it. He takes out the bullet, puts the vest back in the can, and sets it on fire.

Finn asks Anna what Faison said. She tells him the missing son is connected to the Cassadines. Finn asks if she didn’t tell him that Faison worked with Helena.

Jason stands over Faison. They look at each other.

Maxie wonders what’s taking so long. Nina says it’s complex surgery, and will take a while. Obrecht says it’s all her fault. She shouldn’t have claimed him as her son. Maxie says, don’t. She’s his mother, and he loves her. He’ll want to see her when he wakes up. She takes Obrecht’s hand, and Obrecht says, thank you, daughter. Maxie takes Nina’s hand with her other one. Valentin looks at them sadly. Griff comes out. Maxie asks if Nathan is okay.

Tomorrow, Finn says let’s see where this goes, Peter tells Drew and Sam to own the story, and Jason questions Faison.

Vanderpump Rules

Jax tells Brittany’s mother it’s good to see her, but I doubt he really feels that way. In her interview, Kristen says Brittany is way too good for Jax, and wants to break them up. Jax ditches the room. Brittany tells her mom she’s doing okay, but she’s still heartbroken, and it’s not going to go away. Sherri isn’t sure he’s the right one for her. Brittany says she knows that. GO…NOW!

Katie meets Lala for lunch. In her interview, Katie says they don’t have the best track record, but they’ve squashed their beef, and are spending one-on-one time together. She tells Lala it’s 100% good on her end. Lala says she forgives and forgets, and she’s trying to find her place in the group. She tells Katie that Scheana is upset with her, and it’s sad seeing them in a bad place. Katie says she has no issues with Scheana, and she’s the one who keeps bringing up the Rob rumor. Lala is all about female empowerment, and wants them all to get along. Lala has certainly redeemed herself from the last season she was on. Lisa Vanderpump does another miracle. Only one more to go before sainthood.

Lisa arrives at SUR. She asks Peter for a shot of something I’ve never heard of. In his interview, he says in the nine years he’s worked for her, it’s been either rosé or pinot noir, and he’s stunned. He invites her to his birthday party, and gives her the shot. She hands it back to him, tells him happy birthday, and asks for a cup of tea.

Scheana asks Lala how lunch was. Lala says Katie was cool, didn’t say a bad word about Scheana, and swears she hasn’t been talking about Rob at all. In her interview, Lala says the feud started with her, but she feels like it’s their job as women to get past it and forgive. Scheana says she’s practically having panic attacks over it. Please.

It’s time for Peter’s birthday party. Ariana tells us that in the past, Peter has only had dudes at his birthday parties. This is a first for the chicks. Kristen says she has another surprise coming for Jax. I can’t wait. Jax tells James that Kristen is behind Brittany’s mother visiting. Her sister, Tiffany, walks in. I guess that’s Kristen’s other surprise. Jax wonders if her grandmother and father are showing up next. Brittany tells her sister what’s been happening. Tiffany says she likes Jax, but if he’s going to cheat on Brittany, he should go. We flash back to Tiffany and Jax not getting along very well in Kentucky. Brittany says it should be interesting.

Lisa graces everyone with her presence. Jax tries to be friendly. Everyone drinks continuous shots. Stassi says Patrick is in Amsterdam. He decided to take a trip without her because he’s an enormous jerk. Peter is the only ex she doesn’t fantasize about murdering, so she doesn’t mind doting on him tonight. He takes a bite of his cake directly from the cake.

Lisa sits with Brittany’s mom, who says she’s devastated. She doesn’t want Brittany with Jax anymore unless there’s a big change.

Brittany tells Jax it’s an amazing day. He needs to make it up to her mother and sister. If she matters at all, he’ll put in the effort to make them okay with her family. Their opinion means everything to her. If he can’t do that, he can’t be with her.

Lala is concerned about being the main source of what happened between Katie and Scheana. She tells Scheana how much she loves her, and James butts in. Scheana snarks at Kristen, and Lala screeches, enough! She’s over it. She tells Scheana that she’s done with everyone blaming each other. They need to have a united f-ing front as women. Stassi thinks it’s terrifying, but oddly beautiful, to watch Lala lose her sh*t. In her interview, Scheana says Katie has always been a bitch. Last year, she used her wedding as an excuse, and now she’s cozying up to Lala, and she won’t have it. She calls them fake, and Schwartz says she’s the fakest of the fake. Scheana says at least he’s being a man for once, and he calls her a bougie Kardashian, who’s fake from head to toe. All she cares about are selfies. She says all he cares about is making out with chicks in bars. Lisa tells Sherri that she feels like they’re in the cheap seats, making Sherri laugh. Scheana says that she wants to spare Lala her fate, and the girls “got in her head” last year. In her interview, Ariana thinks Scheana is being genuine, and that Katie is trying to redeem herself. If she gives Katie the benefit of the doubt. Which she doesn’t. Lala says Scheana may have PTSD – after finally getting the letters straight – but she’s stuck with her. I have no idea what these drunk people are even talking about at this point. What happened to just drinking and dancing?

James and Lala play tennis. She says her man likes to play tennis, and he’s good, so she’s taking lessons. James asks if she talked to Katie. Lala feels like a lot was going on. She asks if James thinks Scheana is being antagonized. She tried, and if they want to go to war, she’s washing her hands. She calls the whole thing a circus.

Jax comes bearing food for the women in his life. Brittany is making him work. Sherri says the butler needs to get them some better food. She wants to talk to Jax, but he stalls. In his interview, he’s thinking of going to Canada, but then realizes he has a felony.

Lala asks about Logan. She thinks he wishes James was gay; he has mad love for him. James slips, calling Logan his girlfriend. He thinks Logan needs to find a boyfriend, although he does admit, what’s not to love about himself? How long does he have?

Tiffany tells them that Logan told her that he’s sleeping with James, and called Raquel stupid. Jax thinks maybe it’s true. Brittany says James is going to freak when he finds out.

During downtime at SUR, Schwartz tells Lisa he was out of line and disrespectful to Scheana at Peter’s party. Lisa wonders why he’s telling her, and he thought she’d like that he stood up for Katie. He says Katie has changed and matured so much. Katie joins them, saying he’s being a good husband. Scheana doesn’t understand how she and Lala can be friends, and is giving her grief. In his interview, Schwarz says the hypocrisy was too much, with Scheana calling Katie fake. In her interview, Lisa says she’s not as much of a pushover as Sherri, but Jax will do anything to get over.

The guys join Guillermo at the gym. Tom says people sometimes challenge him to a jump rope off. He doesn’t know what that’s about, but he’s never lost. Jax punches the bag. They sit outside afterward. James says he heard about Kristen flying Brittany’s mother out. In his interview, James thinks Kristen is the same crazy bitch she always was. Jax tells him about Logan crying to Tiffany, saying he and James are hooking up. James doesn’t believe it, but Jax wonders why she’d say that if it wasn’t true. In his interview, Schwartz says there’s a 77% chance. James asks if he thinks there’s any truth to it, and Jax says it’s none of his business.

Stassi and Kristen go to SUR for dinner. Kristen feels like she’s on a date. Brittany thanks Kristen. She tells Lala about what Logan told her sister. Lala thanks Logan wants more, and James wants people to find him hot. Kristen doesn’t think he wants to date guys, but has definitely taken a dip in the penis pond. This isn’t of concern, but James cheating on his girlfriend is.

James and Raquel go to a wine making/tasting. James says he feels weird, and Raquel is uncomfortable. James says he lets a lot slide, but Logan can’t disrespect his girlfriend. He says it’s not true, but Raquel says that’s not the problem; it’s the girls she worries about. He says the whole world wants to have sex with him. Must be the whole world minus one, because I don’t.

Jax takes Tiffany and Sherri out to dinner. He hopes they’re enjoying their time. He was blindsided, but he’s happy Kristen brought them. In his interview, He says Kristen wants to burn his relationship to the ground, and has a weird obsession. Sherri asks if it was just a one-time thing, and he claims it was just the act; he doesn’t really care about anyone else. He tells her that he’s had a lot of issues, and gone down bad roads. He was frustrated with Brittany’s lack of motivation. Sherri thinks Brittany does a lot for him, and wonders what he does with his time. He’s like, details, details, skipping right over that question, and says he doesn’t do things to hurt people. He’s not happy with himself. He’s a selfish, terrible person. Well, he got that right. Sherri says she’s seen good things in him, like what he did for her son. We flash back to when he donated money toward the making-a-baby cause in Kentucky. Sherri says she’ll give him a second chance, and she loves him. She’s believing in him. In his interview, he tells Kristen to suck it. I’m so disappointed.

James is coming by Jax and Brittany’s place. Jax doesn’t want to get any more involved in James’s sex scandal with Logan, so he jets. Brittany asks her mother how dinner went. Sherri thinks Jax is dissatisfied with himself, and told them he’s a terrible person. She’s willing to give him a second chance, but they agree to support Brittany, whatever her decision. James arrives. Tiffany tells him about what Logan told her, and that he said Raquel is an idiot. James tells them not to say anything, and calls Logan. Logan tells James that he said it, but it’s a lie. It was just him being a bitch and in love with him. James wonders how they can be friends, calls him a piece of sh*t, and hangs up. James says he wasn’t a true friend, and starts crying. He leaves, and Tiffany says she feels badly for Logan, since he’s obviously in love with James.

Jax returns. In his interview, he says it sounds like James put on quite a performance. Although I’m no fan of James, I don’t think he’s insincere, just highly emotional. It’s time for Sherri and Tiffany to leave. Brittany is glad they came. It made her feel better about her decision to stay with Jax. All three of them are crazy. Jax packs Sherri and Tiffany into a car, and the two of them head to the airport. In his interview, he says everything is perfect. He has his girl and a cold case of beer in the fridge; the end. Brittany says she’s exhausted.

Next time, a fire at SUR, Schwartz’s triplet brothers visit, Katie cries to Lisa, and Jax meets with the Reiki instructor. That didn’t take long.

🌞 Re Summer House. This group’s idea of fun just boggles my mind. These are grown people with decent jobs who, no doubt, spent a bundle to rent a fabulous house in the Hamptons for the summer. They drink to the point of blacking out and making out with people they don’t even like, tear stuff up, have food fights, and immature, dramatic arguments over they don’t even know what. News flash: letting your freak flag fly doesn’t mean doing Jell=O shots and smushing a cake into someone’s face. After I started watching Vanderpump Rules, the difference in the behavior of my friends and I at that age was so vast, I thought maybe it was an East Coast/West Coast thing, but this is the East Coast (despite one of the girls sounding exactly like a Kardashian). So what the blip? It’s like Jersey Shore (which, I assure you, is nothing like the Jersey Shore) got plopped into Long Island. And why am I still watching it? That’s a good question. Horrible fascination? Speaking of East Coast/West Coast…

🎧 I watched All Eyez on Me over the weekend, and it wasn’t bad. I’ve been interested in rap and hip-hop since its inception (except don’t get me started about how Gilbert and Sullivan – two older gay white guys – were the ones who really invented rap with the patter song in the 1800s), so I love the music of that time period. The story was really nothing we didn’t know already, although I understand a few people weren’t too happy with it – namely, Jada Pinkett Smith – but I wasn’t there, so who knows? Danai Gurira (Michonne, The Walking Dead) did a nice turn as Tupac’s mother, even though she looked young enough to be his date. The main thing for me was the music, and it was on point. Also impressive was the casting. It was amazing how much these actors looked and sounded like the people they were portraying. I wonder if Demetrius Shipp Jr. is the reason the rumor of Tupac still being alive, is still alive.

🎥 I also watched A Cure for Wellness, which I’d like to rename What the Hell was That? and Rough Night, which is like Weekend at Bernie’s with chicks, and not as funny.

💭 Just Because…

AnimalHouseBluto

TuesdayJump

Jan23

January 22, 2017 – A Disagreement Between Sonny and Anna, Pride Day at SUR, Summer House Returns & It’s Suppertime

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason ponders on the footbridge, and flashes back to New Year’s Eve with Sam.

Sam looks out on her balcony, and flashes back to talking to Jason on the docks, and telling him that she loves Drew. Molly and Alexis arrive. Alexis asks if she’s ready to get married.

Curtis and Jordan join Drew. Curtis says the justice of the peace should be there soon, and to enjoy his last single moments. He’s getting ready to be married for real this time.

Carly tells Bobbie that she should have given Josslyn more credit. Bobbie says sometimes it feels good to be wrong. Carly is relieved about Josslyn, but says too bad she can’t say the same for Michael.

Michael meets Nelle at the hospital, but missed the prenatal appointment, but Nelle shows him the sonogram; the first picture of their baby.

Sonny tells Anna that Faison knows Heinrich is gunning for him. They have to use Heinrich as bait. Anna says they can’t exploit him like that. if Sonny orchestrates a meeting, he’ll start a war, and they don’t know who will get caught in the crossfire.

Faison caresses an unconscious Obrecht’s face.

At the MetroCourt, Laura wants to talk to Lulu. Lulu thinks Laura wants her to take a step back from reporting, and reevaluate things, but Laura knows better than to try talking her out of something she wants to do. Saving the world is genetic. Ned approaches their table, and apologizes to Laura about how quickly the race got nasty; it wasn’t his intention. He says his problem is with Julian, not her or Alexis. He guarantees a clean, fair fight, and a race they can be proud of.  Laura tells him that he didn’t have to apologize. She appreciates the gesture, but it’s wasted on her. She’s dropping out of the race.

Anna says Faison wouldn’t hesitate to kill his own son, and Sonny tells her that she says that like it’s a problem. Anna says they don’t know him; he could be an innocent, which would explain why he allowed Jason to live. Sonny says he paid several thugs to bring him back to Russia, and along the way, they shot up the MetroCourt and took Sam hostage. He asks if that sounds innocent. Anna says if he died, any chance of Jason’s questions being answered or Drew getting his memory back will be over.

Drew tells Curtis he doesn’t think they can squeeze in a bachelor party. Curtis says it’s tradition for the groomsmen and groom to share a drink before the ceremony, and pulls out a bottle. Monica arrives.

Spinelli finds Jason. He says there’s still time. Sam is marrying Drew, and he has to stop it.

Jordan gets a work call, and it’s something she has to check on personally. She tells Drew sorry, congratulations, and give Sam her best. Drew tells Monica that he appreciates her being there; it means a lot that’s she’s stood by him. She says she wouldn’t miss it. He’s Alan’s son, and she wishes she’d known him and raised him like she did Jason, but since that didn’t happen, she’d like to adopt him. He laughs, and says they missed that boat. She says it’s just a formality, but makes him and Scout legally part of the family. They may not know the next chapter, but he’ll always be part of the Quartermaines. Monica is looking really good. For a while, she had too many fillers in her face going on, but whatever she’s doing now, keep doing it.

Nelle tells Michael that they have a beautiful, healthy baby. Michael asks if she knows if it’s a boy or girl, but she says she wanted them to find out together. He says it’s her body, but she tells him it’s their baby, and she wants him to be involved in every step of process. She says the baby’s heartbeat was loud and strong. He can hear it at the next appointment. Carly and Bobbie join them.

Anna tells Sonny that she doesn’t think there’s a reason to involve Heinrich. She knows how to bring Faison out in the open. He’s obsessed with her, and it clouds his judgement and allows her to control things. It would also help if she had no surprises. With that in mind, has Sonny made contact? Sonny says he has the email address for PK Sinclair. If that’s Heinrich, then yes. He shows her the email exchange, and she tells him if PK emails again, don’t respond. Call her and they’ll figure out a plan. He says he doesn’t think he can do that.

Spinelli says Jason might still make it, but Jason says he’s not interrupting the wedding. Sam wants this, and loves Drew. Spinelli asks if he’s told her that he loves her, but he says that would make it hard on her. Spinelli says it would take an act of tremendous courage, but even if he doesn’t do it for himself, he needs to save Sam from making a mistake that will only bring her grief.

Curtis brings in the justice of the peace. The wedding begins. Molly walks in first, followed by Sam, wearing a white, cocktail length, lacy confection. Danny is the ringbearer. They stand before the officiant.

Anna tells Sonny it’s not a suggestion. Sonny doesn’t want trouble with her. She might be cop, but she’s Robin’s mother. She’s brave and honorable, and doesn’t deserve the hell Faison put her through. If he could back away, he would, but if Heinrich is his best shot, he’s taking it. If he calls, Sonny is using him, with or without her permission. She says she’ll see herself out. Outside, she calls Robert, telling him that she needs him to intercept some email messages, and divert them to her account. She tells him to make sure there’s no trace of the original address.

Carly asks why Michael and Nelle are at the hospital, since she’s too stupid to guess. Nelle says it was her first ultrasound, and gives her the picture. Michael says there’s no question he’s the father. Carly says she’s happy for him. Bobbie wants to look at the paternity test results, and Nelle tells her to get them from Michael, since she had them sent directly to his office. She adds that the baby is healthy, thanks for asking. She leaves, and Michael thanks them for being mostly civil. Bobbie thought they did pretty well. Carly says this is real and happening, and she supports him and the baby. They hug, and Michael goes to work or whatever he does.

Ned is surprised Laura is dropping out. Lulu says she had it in the bag, no offense to Ned. Laura says her family has to take precedence. Spencer had bad skiing accident in France, breaking both legs, and she has to go. She has the time and means right now, and hopes Lulu understands. She does, but she’s disappointed; she knows the campaign was important. Laura says it still is. Ned tells her that he’s sorry to see her go; she was a formidable candidate. He didn’t expect to win on a technicality, but she says he didn’t win anything yet. She wants to discuss terms; what he’s going to promise her in exchange for her endorsement.

Spinelli says Jason would take any risk or suffer any injury to save Sam. Jason says she doesn’t need saving. Spinelli says he watched her at the police station when their identities were sorted out. She knew all along, but pretended to believe Drew was Jason because he believed it. She lied for his benefit, and Spinelli thinks that’s why she’s marrying him. She’s sacrificing her happiness because of misguided loyalty. The same thing he’s doing now.

The couple has prepared their own vows. Drew tells Sam that people say their lives didn’t start until they met the person they’re going to live their life with, but with him, it’s literal. So much wasn’t true, but she gave him what was – love. He might have no past, but he’s thankful for his future with her. He takes the ring from Danny, and promises to love, honor, and cherish her until death and beyond, if that’s possible. Sam says when she was thinking about the vows, she kept thinking how much has changed in past couple of months. She realized the important things that last and matter stayed the same. She still loves and adores him. They share an incredible bond, and had the chance to make an amazing family. She has a life with him, but never expected it to be richer and fuller than she could imagine. It’s a life she wants to continue to share with him, always. She takes the ring, and promises to love, honor, and cherish him to death and beyond. They do the I dos. Do-be-do-be-do. The officiant pronounces them husband and wife. They kiss, and everyone applauds.

Anna goes home, and finds her door open. She draws her gun. She calls for Obrecht, but finds Jordan, her gun also drawn.

Obrecht is lying on some straw, and I wonder where there’s a barn in Port Charles.

Laura tells Ned that he’s going to need more than the backing of his supporters; he needs her support, but it will cost him. Ned says, hypothetically speaking, what would be the cost? She tells him that she wants tight limits on the redevelopment, but he says it’s up to the voters to decide. She wants him to designate the pre-war buildings to be left alone, and she’ll give her endorsement. He says he can give suggestions, but can’t make it happen. If he made that promise now, it would be in bad faith. Laura appreciates his candor. He says she was a worthy opponent. And would have made a fine mayor. They shake hands. When Ned leaves, Lulu says they lost.

Spinelli tells Jason that he was the first person, maybe the only person, who treated Sam with respect as a person in her own right. Because of that, she learned to respect and know herself. That’s not the case with Drew. They don’t know who he would have been if he’d been left in his own life. He doesn’t know himself, and can’t give of himself or give her that support. Jason says he’s making assumptions, but Spinelli says he saw him at the station, seemingly expecting Sam to fill his needs, giving little thought to what she needed. Jason says he doesn’t break the law or put lives at risk. Jason is true to himself, and out of that truth, can give Sam the love she needs. She made a wrong choice for the wrong reasons. Jason tells him to stop. He’s heard him, and it’s appreciated, but he has to leave Sam alone. Spinelli says that Sam told him in the early says, she had an unfamiliar feeling with him; one she liked, but couldn’t place. Then she realized he made her feel safe.

Curtis toasts to the bride and groom, saying may their joy outweigh their sorrow, and their good days outweigh the bad. May they rest easy in each other’s arms tonight, and all the days to come. Danny also makes a toast, saying, mommy and daddy, happy wedding! Sam smears Drew’s face with cake, and says gotcha.

Michael drops by Sonny’s. He tells Sonny about the paternity test, and that he’s definitely the father. Sonny asks how he feels, and Michael says he’s trying to wrap his head around the fact that he and Nelle will be connected by the baby. Sonny tells him to remember the baby comes first. Michael is concerned about it being a wedge. Nelle started out plotting against the family, and now she’s carrying their grandchild; he doesn’t want a rift. Sonny tells him to always trust that he’ll never lose Sonny’s love. He’s Michael’s father, and loves him unconditionally, and knows he’ll love the baby the same way.

At the MetroCourt, Bobbie asks how Carly is holding up, and Carly says, just dandy. She doesn’t know how she feels about Michael being a father, and her a grandmother. How is she supposed to be happy with Nelle in their lives? They see Nelle, and Carly tells her that was quite a performance at the hospital; now they get the encore at the MetroCourt. Nelle says she has no idea what Carly is talking about. Carly says Nell and her son are connected by the baby, but that’s where it begins and ends. If she’s thinking of going further, don’t. Nelle says how Michael feels is up to him. Monica arrives, and Nelle says she’s meeting her for dinner. Carly makes faces, and Monica asks if she has a problem with that. Nelle hopes she didn’t pull Monica away, but Monica says it was a small wedding, and Drew and Sam would rather get going. Carly is surprised that they’re married. Nelle says she’ll get a table. Bobbie tells Monica to be careful. Monica says regardless of the past, Nelle is carrying their great-grandchild, and they should try to get along. Bobbie says she’s doing so at her own risk. Carly tells her that Nelle will soon show her true colors.

Jordan says a neighbor called, thinking something was going on at Anna’s place. It’s been fully swept, and everything is fine. Anna tells her about Obrecht showing up drunk, and thinks that’s probably what the neighbor heard or saw. She tells Jordan that she looks great, and Jordan explains that she was Curtis’s plus one for the wedding. Anna can make it up to her by explaining why Obrecht was drunk, and asks if it’s about Faison. Anna says it’s nothing, and Jordan tells her to promise to call if she needs help. Anna thanks Jordan for checking on her, even though she didn’t have to. Jordan says surely Anna knows her by now.

Obrecht’s phone rings. Faison picks it up. We’re still not actually seeing him; just his hands or the back of his head.

Anna leaves a message on Obrecht’s phone, saying she shouldn’t have left. Anna needs to know if she’s okay, and asks her to call back. Anna gets a text, saying, I’m fine. Anna texts back that they aren’t finished, and the return text says, don’t worry, Anna. I’ll be seeing you soon.

We see the phone in Faison’s hand. Obrecht starts to wake up. She wonders what happened. She looks up, and gasps.

Michael is surprised at how well Sonny is handing it. Sonny says he has no use for Nelle, but has faith in Michael. Michael asks, even after he got involved with Nelle? Sonny says she took advantage of his good nature, but the baby is innocent. No matter what happens, Sonny is behind him, and will support whatever decision he makes.

Bobbie tells Carly to let it go. Monica is Michael’s grandmother, and gets to decide how to deal with Nelle. She thinks it’s a mistake, but it’s her mistake to make. Bobbie goes to get a table. Carly says Michael can do whatever wants, but that doesn’t mean she can’t talk him out of it. She makes a call, telling someone she needs to talk about Nelle Benson.

Laura asks to talk to Alexis. Alexis is sorry she dropped out of the race, but understands that family comes first. She’s bummed about Ned running unopposed. Laura doesn’t think it will be that smooth for him, and Alexis says it sounds like she has a replacement. Laura says she does, and she’s perfect. Alexis asks who the lucky candidate is, and Laura says, you.

Drew and Sam bask in the afterglow. He says he’s excited, and can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Still on the footbridge, Jason remembers when we were all children. Sam says he’s a good friend, and she wishes she was a better friend to him. She’s figured out why she sleeps better when she with him. He makes her feel safe.

Tomorrow, Jordan says she’s going to come down like a ton of bricks, Lulu make a pitch to Peter, and HE’S BACK!!!

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa arrives at SUR where the Pride Day party is being organized. Stassi is in charge of dressing the staff. She jokes that she shouldn’t have a problem getting the staff’s respect, considering she was the drunk girl stealing goat cheese balls off passing trays not long ago.

The guys go to a Reiki session. Peter is a regular; he has all his chakras together. Jax thought they were going to push pebbles around with a rake, but instead is subject to some meditation. It’s probably not hard for him to empty his mind. After the meditation, instructor Kelsey asks where everyone is at. Schwartz says he’s been drinking too much, Peter feels like he’s doing too much, and Tom thinks he’s stagnant. Jax tears up, and tells everyone about screwing up his relationship with Brittany. In his interview, he says no one has asked how he’s doing in all this, and I break out my violin. Kelsey gives him some attention and a hug, and Tom gives a voice to my thoughts when he says it wouldn’t be surprising if Jax ended up trying to sleep with her. I just don’t get what any woman sees in him. And he’s not that good looking. He’s no Brad Pitt. He’s not even Charles Bronson – two ends of the handsome spectrum.

The girls go to a spa or plastic surgeon or wherever you get Botox, and talk while they fill out paperwork. Lala says she’s having lunch with Katie. She likes Katie, and wonders if Scheana’s relationship is really talked about as much as she claims it is. Ariana thinks Scheana’s insecurities are getting the best of her, and everyone should mind their own business. Scheana brings up the Rob rumor. She says he laughed about it, but feels him pulling away.

In her interview, Stassi says it’s fun to have a girls’ night where everyone dresses up. The girls, minus Scheana, go to an outdoor bar. They discuss Scheana’s reaction to Rob making out with someone else. Brittany says she tried to explain that Katie just didn’t just make it up. The waiter knows the area where Brittany is from, and flirts with her. Kristen is glad she’s getting her mojo back. Katie asks how she’s doing. Brittany says she’s decided to work it out with Jax. I can’t take it. Stassi tells her that Jax will say he’s going to get help, and then be the same. He’s doing the bare minimum to keep her. She tells Brittany that he’s never once broken up with a girl in his entire life.

Lala, James, and Logan go out for drinks. James orders a double shot of bourbon, and toasts to getting drunk. My stomach turns when he chases the bourbon with maple syrup. In his interview, he explains that he’s curbing his drinking, but occasionally something comes over him. However, he can stop any time. Raquel is moving in, and we see a clip of James clearing out a whole drawer for her. Things start to get dicey when Lala tells them about asking for a bite of Raquel’s pasta at James’s event, then eating all of it. James calls her bitch, surprising all of us. James gets crazy, and tells her not to eff with his bitch. He follows that gem with saying Lala’s boyfriend will get bored soon, and be done with her, going on to next pretty blonde. In her interview, Lala says he turns into a werewolf when he drinks. Lala tells him to learn his place, and know how to talk to someone when they’re a friend. She stomps out, and Logan tells James to go after her. Outside, she asks wtf is wrong with him? It was a joke, and he should know who has his back. He says it’s not about the pasta, and repeats that several times. In his interview, he says it’s about respect for his girlfriend. Lala tells him to get out of her face. He wants to talk later, but she tells him to get lost.

Scheana asks the girls if they were talking about her last night. A friend of her mom’s was at the same restaurant, and heard her name. What are the odds of that? Brittany says Katie believes Scheana thinks she started the rumor. Scheana says Rob doesn’t need this. He’s too busy to deal with their BS. Brittany says Katie didn’t make it up, but Scheana insists she added to it. Brittany wonders why she’s getting so mad if it isn’t true.

Tom and Schwartz go to the restaurant site. It’s still a huge mess. Tom says they’re holding up their end of the bargain with sweat equity, and getting down and dirty. In his interview, Schwartz says Katie made him promise not to drink, do shots or have guys’ night. He did all three at once, but he came home to a loving reception, and it caught him off guard. He thinks he was subconsciously testing her to see how she’d react. Tom has to show him how use a protective mask. Schwartz says he’s not an engineer.

Katie shows the girls a picture that Tom sent of Schwartz sleeping on his couch. In her interview, she says a year ago, she would have rage texted and insulted his penis, but today, they’re talking it out. Marriage is good for them. She told him that she doesn’t like waking up alone. She tells them that Schwartz said he was falling in love with her all over again. Everyone goes, aww!

Lisa and Ken show up at the site. Schwartz is happy to be doing something, not just talking about it. Lisa asks if he and Katie are okay. Tom says Schwartz slept at his house, but that happens sometimes. Lisa tells Schwartz they’re going to sit down and go over his marriage vows. He says they’re right here, pointing to his heart. He tells Lisa that he wants to hug her, and she tells him to get away. In her interview, she tells us that he’s too old for puppy dog antics. Schwartz is married now, and needs to handle his responsibilities.

Kristen talked to Brittany’s mom, and wants to surprise her with a visit. Brittany has been crying that she wants her mother, so Kristen is flying Sherri out to LA. If she can’t talk sense into Brittany about breaking up with Jax, no one can.

It’s Pride Day, which can’t exist without Lisa, who is wearing pink from head to toe, including a humongous pink hat with big flowers. Rob comes by SUR. Scheana tells him she’s lost her smile. He says that life is hard enough, and she needs good people in it. In her interview, Scheana says if loses him because of what they said, there’s going to be a problem. She tells Rob that she loves him, but we don’t hear him say it back. I don’t know if that’s because he doesn’t, or it’s edited that way. I’m on to Bravo about that.

Stassi dresses Brittany in a flower child outfit. She looks really cute. Lisa sees Lala on the street in a sort of Wonder Woman getup. She tells Lisa about her fight with James. In her interview, Lala says if James doesn’t kiss her ass and apologize a million times, she’ll have no choice but to move on. Lisa says he’s lucky she wasn’t there or she would have boxed his ears, and he has ears to box. Ha-ha-ha-ha! He does have big ears.

Stassi dresses the other girls. She tells Jax if he doesn’t paint his face, she’ll put him in a flower crown, but he’s not into dressing up. Stassi thinks hitting her stride; everyone looks hot. Scheana tells Lala about Rob coming by SUR, and that he was sweet, acting like it doesn’t bother him, but it’s affecting her. Lala tells her to ignore it. In her interview, Lala says Scheana strives for perfection. She’s lost weight because she’s not eating; it’s obvious she’s stressed. Lala tells her to let the girls talk.

Pride is in full swing, and SUR is crowded already. Lisa thanks Tom for being festive. Jax insists he’s festive enough in a black T-shirt. Lisa introduces Billie, SUR’s trans hostess, to the crowd. Lisa supports her and applauds her journey. Billie talks about how supportive Lisa has been in giving her a job and accepting her. In his interview, Jax tells us that he had no idea Billie was trans when he met her. Whatever she had done, she got money’s worth. Billie tells him that she likes his vibe, and thinks he has his own sh*t to go through. I highly doubt their stories are the same, but I’m guessing everyone is drunk at this point. Lisa tells Stassi, good job. Schwartz motorboats Katie. In her interview, Katie says that she’s working on being more easy-going, and Schwartz Is working on not blacking out. It’s progress.

James hugs Logan and Jax. Jax doesn’t know what going on, and says it’s weird. In his interview, James says Logan and Raquel fill different voids in his life. Raquel is his emotional connection, and Logan is his party side. They drink doing that hooking arms thing. Scheana joins them. James says he’s never losing Logan as a friend. They love each other as best friends. Logan says more. It’s a deep relationship, and he looks out for James. Raquel says something is going on.

Brittany says she’s the opposite of Scheana, and eats when she’s stressed. Lisa sits down with Scheana. In her interview, Lisa says she knows Scheana well, and is seeing a fragility about her. She asks what’s going on. Scheana says she feels physically ill. She’s let Katie, Kristen, and Stassi affect her relationship, and she’s better when she’s not around them. She tells Lisa that they said something that wasn’t true, and starts to cry. She says it’s the happiest she’s ever been, and wonders why they want to bring her down. She wails that they’ve been perfect. Lisa reminds her about how she said things were fine with Shay. We flash back to Scheana telling Lisa that her relationship with Shay is amazing. Lisa tells her even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. Scheana says they’re meant to be together. Lisa tells her to eat something and pull herself together. Lisa goes to the kitchen, and grabs a plate of food, like the mom she is. She plops it in front of Scheana, telling her she looks like a nervous kitten, and she won’t have it. In her interview, Scheana says it’s refreshing to have a boss like Lisa, who is also a friend. I’d never say Lisa isn’t the best boss ever, but it’s not like Scheana has had a lot of jobs. Katie is wondering who took the plate of food she ordered for a customer. That would be the one in front of Scheana.

Rob arrives at SUR. Scheana says she can’t let them affect her life and relationship. It’s all good now, and she just wants to eat a sandwich. She has her smile back.

Brittany counts her tips. She made $576, which she informs Jax was hard work. Good for her. I can’t imagine doing her job. Jax tells her how pretty she looks and that he got compliments on her behalf. In her interview, she says he thinks he’s a charmer. She loves him, even though he’s a dummy.

Meanwhile, at PUMP, James asks if Lala a still mad at him. She says he’s one of her dearest friends, but his behavior is unacceptable. She tells him not to mention her name unless it’s something positive. She trusted him, and needs to feel safe. He apologizes, saying sometimes he’s an idiot and effed up. In his interview, he says he has a lot of acquaintances, but few friends. When things get complicated, he needs to straighten it out right away.

Kristen and Katie come by Brittany and Jax’s apartment. In her interview, Kristen says Brittany is the best thing to happen to the group, and she refuses to watch Jax bring her down. Brittany’s mom walks in. Jax looks like he’s going to have a heart attack. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Next time, Sherri talks to Lisa, Sherri talks to Jax, Lala talks to Katie about Scheana, and Schwartz calls Scheana the fakest faker ever.

🏊 Summer House is back, and still just as stupid. Like a slightly older version of The Real World, a bunch of boring friends rent a house in the Hamptons that I would kill for, and proceed to spend the summer in a blackout. It didn’t take long before the arguments started, although there was a nice diversion when a couple of cast members decided to head back to NYC for the Gay Pride Parade. I assume this was filmed around the same time as Vanderpump Rules, but too bad Lisa wasn’t attending this one. Maybe she could whip these kids into interesting. If I had a fabulous house in the Hamptons, it’s not likely I would rent it to a bunch of drunken morons. I’ve also never had the desire to spend an entire summer with a bunch of other people in one house, but if I did, I guarantee they would be more intriguing and dimensional than this group

🍆 I discovered a cooking show that premiered in November, but is new to me, and it looks like a lot of fun. It’s Suppertime with Matty Matheson airs Tuesdays at 6, 6:30, and 7 pm on Viceland. You can read more about Matty, “the John Belushi of the Toronto food scene,” here:

https://torontolife.com/food/chef-matty-matheson-vice-canada-parts-and-labour-dead-set-on-life/

MattyMatheson

Matty Matheson

 

Jan17

January 16, 2017 – Josslyn Gets The Talk, Candace Turns Oscar Down, Dorit is Late & Some Fluff

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Josslyn says Carly sounds serious; it must be major. Carly says it is.

Kim tells Oscar that they have to talk.

Michael shows up at the gallery, saying Nelle didn’t need to have the lab results sent to his office. She wanted to make sure he knew they were real, and he says he thought she might want to be there when they were opened. Nelle tells him she already knows what it says, but wouldn’t mind seeing the look on his face when he sees he’s the baby’s father.

At the hospital, Griff asks Ava how it went. She says she has the all clear. In a few hours, her scars, and all the ugliness they represent, will be a bad memory.

Jake visits Drew at the office. He needs to ask a question. It’s Father/Son Day at school next week, and Jake needs him to be there.

Jason and Sonny look at PK Sinclair’s last email. You referred to the sequel. Clearly you haven’t read the ending. Jason says it ends with the son killing the father. Sonny says PK wants to kill Faison.

Carly tells Josslyn that seeing her in the cocktail dress scared her. She looked beautiful and grown up. It’s fun to try on being adult, but she’s fourteen and just discovering who she is. The next few years are pivotal, and Carly doesn’t want her to slingshot to the end. When she tells Josslyn she wants her to slow down, it’s because she wants her to experience all of it. She wants Josslyn to get to know herself and who she is, so she can make big decisions from a place of self-control and responsibility, not because she’s being pressured. Josslyn asks if this is “the talk.”

Oscar can’t believe Kim is doing this in public, but she says she didn’t bring her megaphone. She thinks he needs a refresher course, and asks why is he pretending that what’s happening, isn’t? He asks what she’s talking about, and she asks why Josslyn has condoms. He says it has nothing to do with either of them. Josslyn is holding them for a friend (yeah, I used that one too). Trina is afraid her mom will find them. Kim says they shouldn’t do it, and he says they’re not doing it. She tells him, good, because fourteen is too young.

Nelle tells Michael she would say congratulations, but isn’t sure it’s something he wants to celebrate. He’s glad he knows truth, and she asks if he thought it would say something else. He says, no. His gut told him that it was his baby. Nelle says, so it’s just for his parents. She says Carly is going to hate it, but Michael says all that matters is the baby. Whatever they can do to raise a healthy, happy child, sign him up. She asks what he’s doing next Monday.

Ava tells Kiki that she can’t thank her enough; she doesn’t deserve it. Kiki wants her to feel whole, but tells her to be careful. She doesn’t want Ava to think because her face is fixed, everything else is fine. She needs to figure out what’s going on inside. Ava says she might be pleasantly surprised. Once this horrific chapter is behind her, the rest will fall into place.

Drew tells Jake it must be important. Jake says they eat doughnuts with their dads, show them around the classroom, and do a cool science project together. Drew says if Jake wants him there, he’s there. Elizabeth comes in, and Jake asks if he’s in trouble. Elizabeth says it depends on why he’s there, and Jake says he wanted to tell Drew about Father/Son Day. Elizabeth says she would have brought him, but Jake says he thought maybe she would want him to take the other guy.

Jason tells Sonny there was a backer who Andre never saw. Faison is their best guess, and they have reason to believe the traitor is his son. Jason wants Faison, and wants to know why he did the switch. Sonny says they’re going to figure it out, and use his son to do it

Josslyn says this is coming out of nowhere, and Carly says that’s how she felt when the condoms fell out of Josslyn’s backpack, and no, she wasn’t snooping. Josslyn says she was holding them for a friend, and Carly says that’s the oldest excuse in the book. Josslyn tells her that Trina is seeing a junior, and was afraid her mom would find them. Carly says, thank God; she’s too young. Trina is too young too, but Trina isn’t her daughter. She’s not doing it, is she? Josslyn says no, and Carly asks if they’ve talked about it. Josslyn says, not once. Carly thinks the universe is trying to tell her something, and asks Josslyn to have a seat.

Kim tells Oscar when she heard about the condoms, she was actually happy that at least what she’d told him had sunk in. Oscar says they haven’t even talked about it. Kim tells him if and when they decide, it’s really important that they’re both on the same page, they both feel the same, and want the same things. As much as people say it’s not a big deal, it is. Oscar keeps rubbing his arm, and Kim asks what’s up with that? He tells her that Drew was teaching him some boxing moves and strategies, and it was really cool. Kim says she’s glad they talked, grabs her stuff, and jets, leaving both Oscar and I puzzled.

Nelle tells Michael that maybe he wants to come to her next prenatal visit. She’s having a sonogram, and he can see the baby. She says it’s really cool to listen to its heartbeat; it sounds like a horse galloping. She tells him that Kim thinks it’s important to have the father involved for bonding, but he doesn’t have to be. Michael says he wants to be, and plans to be as involved as he can. The paternity test isn’t the only reason he came to the gallery though. He thinks Ava has an ulterior motive, and that she’s setting Nelle up.

Griff asks if Ava is nervous, but she says she’s energized. She has to run by the gallery to check on an important client. She calls him a guardian angel, and says he saved her.

Jake tells Elizabeth it’s not that doesn’t like Jason; he doesn’t know him. Elizabeth understands, and asks if he feels pressured about having a relationship with Jason. He says no, but she talks about him a lot, and he thought she’d want him to take Jason to the Father/Son Day. She says no one expects that of him; not until he’s ready. He asks, what if he’s never ready, and she says it would be a shame. Jason is a great dad, and he’s lucky to have two amazing fathers. Jake says Jason is a stranger. Elizabeth agrees, but says he didn’t go away because wanted to. He was taken, like Helena took Jake; taken away from everyone he loved and what belonged to him. The cool part is that he didn’t try to grab everything back even though he could have. He respects everyone’s feelings, and loves Jake and Danny. She’s not saying how he should feel, but thinks it’s important that he knows Jason only wants what’s best for him. He’s Jake’s biological father, and she hopes one day when he’s ready, Jake gets to know him.

Sonny tells Jason when he finds Faison, he’s not going to question him; he’s going to kill him. Jason wants answers. Sonny thinks he knows. Obrecht said Faison was looking for an enforcer. It was impossible to have Jason, so he turned him into Drew. Jason wonders if it could be that simple. Sonny says that Jason eliminates quickly and cleanly, and does whatever Sonny asks him to. Who wouldn’t want that? Jason has to hear it from Faison. Sonny says he might be able to, once they smoke him out. Jason asks what Sonny has in mind?

Carly asks Josslyn if other kids are talking about it, and she says, some. Carly asks if they’re doing it or just talking, and Josslyn says, both. Carly suggests she take what she hears with a grain of salt. Kids think sex will make them grow up, and they pretend to do it or actually do before they’re ready. She asks if Trina’s boyfriend is pressuring her. Josslyn doesn’t think so. Trina seems to be into it, and says it’s no big deal. Carly says it is a big deal. It’s intimate and personal, and there’s only once chance for the first time, so it should be memorable. She and Oscar aren’t ready. Josslyn says she seems to be forgetting they’re not having sex. Carly wishes she had waited, and could look back and smile, but she can’t. Her first time was with an older man who didn’t really care about her. Josslyn asks why she did it, and Carly says she wanted to be a woman and make own choices. At the time, it was the biggest choice she could make, but it didn’t make her feel older or cooler, it just complicated things. She wants Josslyn to have a different experience, when she’s older and emotionally ready. She wants Josslyn to be with someone she trusts and feels safe with, in a loving environment, so it can be something she’ll look back on and smile.

Michael tells Nelle that Ava is a liar at best, and a murderer at worst. Nelle says she was the only one who would give her job, and she’s been nothing but kind. Michael says she wants something. He doesn’t know what, but when people get close to her, they get hurt. Nelle thanks him for the warning, but when it comes to Ava, her eyes are wide open. Funny. That’s what Michael told Carly about Nelle.

Griff tells Ava she’ll have confidence of who she is at her core. She dances into her surgery appointment.

Drew loves Jake, and loves being his dad, but Jake owes it to himself to get to know his biological father. Jake asks if it won’t upset Drew, but Drew says Jason is just another person to love him, and that’s a good thing. Jake asks if he’ll still see Drew, and Drew says Jake will get sick of him. Jake says never. Drew says Jake’s mom is right. He knows Jason does the right thing, and that makes him a good guy, but he’s missing out because he has no Jake in his life.

Jason writes an email to PK Sinclair: I can help you get the ending you want. He says, now we wait. Michael calls Jason asking him to meet at Kelly’s. Sonny says he’s going to call Spinelli and have him link the email accounts. Jason leaves, and Sonny says, PK Sinclair, come out, come out, wherever you are.

Carly wonders why Josslyn was telling Oscar that something was going to blow his mind. Josslyn realizes she thought they were talking about sex, and tells her she was clearly wrong. There are new attire guidelines for the dance, and one prohibits kids not dressing according to their gender. There’s one kid who identifies as female, and is being forced to wear a guy’s clothing. Carly thinks it’s awful, and Josslyn says it’s kind of her fault. Her friend has been bullied, so they complained, but instead of punishing the bullies, they’re punishing her with stupid rules. Carly says, good for her, sticking up for her friend, but Josslyn says she’s not done. They decide to throw an alternative dance – come as you are, wear and be want you want. They planned it the same night as the school dance, hoping for a boycott, but it could be grounds for suspension. It’s not ideal, but she’s committed to seeing it through. Carly says she should. Caring for people and doing what feels right is important, and Carly is proud of her.

Griff runs into Kiki, who wonders how is it she never sleeps, but can’t manage to talk to Dillon. He hopes he didn’t make her feel uncomfortable, and Kiki says no. Her mom is way off base. He asks how things are with her and Ava. She says it’s not the first time Ava has hurt her, and it won’t be the last.

Kim bursts into Drew’s office, saying she didn’t raise her son to be soldier. He’s teaching him boxing. What next? Target practice or ROTC? She tells him not to turn Oscar into something he’s not. Drew says, fair enough, but he’s no longer in the Navy. This is what he does now. He doesn’t remember being a SEAL, and is pretty sure he was never a recruiter. He’s not trying to get her son to do anything. Kim apologizes, and says he did nothing wrong.

Michael tells Jason about the paternity results. He’s a father. He’s never been so terrified and excited at the same time. Jason says welcome to parenthood. Michael says he got involved with an unstable woman, and now they’re having a baby. He’s taking responsibility, but what if the baby isn’t okay? Jason says it will be; it will have him.

Sonny tells Carly it’s early for wine, but she says not after the conversation she just had with Josslyn. He asks if she wants to talk about it, and she says not really. Sonny tells her she’s taught Josslyn by example to be strong, confident, and demand respect; sometimes too confident. Carly wonders if they’ll survive the teenage or will it kill her? Sonny says not if he can help it.

Josslyn joins Oscar back at Kelly’s. He asks what was up with her mom, and she says, awkward mom stuff. He knows.

Kim tells Drew she’s been having this conversation for fifteen years, and Drew says, now he suddenly shows up. She says her son was never aggressive, now he’s boxing. Drew explains that Oscar asked him. Apparently, a friend is getting bullied, and he wanted to defend them if necessary. Kim wonders if Oscar was really talking about himself, but Drew says he believes it. Kim says Oscar is a terrible liar, so he’s probably telling the truth. She apologizes for overreacting, saying she barged in and practically accused him of pumping Oscar full of steroids, when Oscar came to him. Drew says it shows he’s a good kid; she’s raising him well.

Ava goes to gallery. Nelle thought she’d be prepping for surgery, and Ava says she’s on her way. She asks about a painting, and Nelle gives her the receipt. Ava says maybe she’s catching on, but asks if that’s the only thing making her smile. She says that, and Michael was there. it went really well, and she might be on her way to being friends with him again. If she plays her cards right, maybe more than that eventually.

Jason tells Michael that he was the first baby he remembers holding. He had no idea, and knew nothing about kids. Michael says he got on the job training, and Jason says Michael taught him how to be father. Michael taught him how to open his heart up to another human being, and he learned to love someone else more than himself. Michael says there’s so much at stake. What if he messes up? Jason says he won’t. He has great instincts. No matter who the mom is, the baby has a right to everything good, and he knows Michael will do that. Michael says his life is going to majorly change, and Jason says, in the best way. There are one and a million amazing things he’ll see; the first times – a smile, words, the first everything, and he’ll be there. Michael says it’s a gift, but terrifying. Jason says he’s happy for him, and happier for the baby. The baby could do worse for a father. Michael says he’s got this. They hug.

Kiki says Ava is lucky to have Griff, but he says he’s the lucky one. The road might be longer and rougher, but he believes today will be a turning point.

Ava tells Nelle it means zip with that family. They forget nothing, and don’t forgive. The Corinthos family has closed their ranks forever to her. Nelle asks what she should do, and Ava tells her to cut her losses, and move on to a new Prince Charming. Anything else is an exercise in futility. Nelle says she’s probably right. The hormones are making her sentimental. Ava tells her to hold down the fort.

Kim tells Drew it will take time; it’s been just them for so long. Drew promises he won’t overstep or try to be an insta-dad if Oscar comes to him. Kim thanks him.

Jason tells Michael to practice deep breathing; he’ll learn as he goes. Michael asks, what about Nelle, and Jason says that’s not his problem. Michael and Jason part company.

Nelle tells the baby not to listen to Ava. Daddy is the only Prince Charming she wants.

Elizabeth takes Jake to Kelly’s. He sees Jason through the window. Jake hesitantly waves. Jason waves back.

Sonny gets a message from PK Sinclair saying they should meet. Jason comes back, and he says Sinclair took the bait; he wants to meet. Is Jason ready? He’s ready.

Tomorrow, Ava is ready to be a new woman, Scotty toasts to Ava, and Ava sees Morgan.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica starts screaming that she smells gas. Melissa tells her to keep screaming. She wanted to take the scenic route, and no one can hear her. She didn’t care that Melissa’s father died, and now it’s her turn. Jeffrey is going to dance on her grave. Veronica keeps calling for help, but Melissa refuses to do anything. She’s going to sit there and wait for Veronica to die. She’s never smelled fried bitch before.

Benny and Mitch drive by and see Melissa sitting near the overturned car. They tell her to get away; the car might blow, but she hopes it does. They realize someone else is in the car. Mitch asks if Melissa is crazy, and she says after dealing with Veronica, it’s a possibility. Mitch runs to get a fire extinguisher. Veronica is going nuts, and Benny tells her to relax so he can help. Benny pulls her from the car.

At the hotel desk, Jim tells Broderick that his room key doesn’t work. Broderick says that’s because it’s not his credit card. Jim says if Broderick doesn’t get him in his room now, there won’t be a need for hotel policy; he’ll burn this bitch to the ground. He says he knows about Broderick and his wife scheming against him. Broderick gives him a new key.

Jim watches the news in his room. The DA says they’re close to making an arrest. The reporter wonders if it’s going to be a Cryer. Jim watches, and says, I know you. Oscar calls, and tells him to open the door. He asks what Oscar has. It’s good news and bad news. His son’s accounts are offshore, but they’re in luck, because he’s a bit of an addict. He went looking for drugs, and a thug got his ATM card, but they were arrested. Oscar thinks they should have recovery in a week. He asks where Jim wants the money to go, and Jim says he’ll text the information. He wants to get in touch with Sarah Duffy at the DA’s office, but no one can know.

Benny tells Melissa to be careful what she says. She says Benny should have let her die; she’s a wicked bitch. Benny thinks Melissa should go to the hospital, but she doesn’t want to. The EMT says it’s policy, although I’m not so sure about that. Veronica begs Benny to go with her to the hospital. Mitch tells him to go ahead, and Benny gets in the ambulance.

A guy does paperwork in Wyatt’s apartment. Wyatt walks in, and he introduces himself as Isaac. He says Anna called to be reassigned, and he was sent over. She’s been compromised because of the two of them sleeping together. Wyatt wants to talk to her, but Isaac says it’s not possible. Wyatt tells him to get out. Isaac knows Wyatt is upset. Anna is a recovering addict, and felt weak with him. Wyatt asks why she didn’t tell him, and Isaac says in the past, that’s how these situations have been handled. Wyatt tells Isaac he’s fired, and hustles him out. Wyatt calls Anna, and leaves a message. He can’t believe she walked out on him like that.

Oscar calls Wyatt, saying he’s with the Savannah police department, and they have someone who tried to use his ATM card. Wyatt says she tried to rob him. Oscar asks her name, and Wyatt tells him it’s Quita. Oscar asks if he wants them to file a report with the bank, but Wyatt says no, and hangs up on him. Oscar calls him an arrogant ass.

In a hotel stockroom, Broderick talks to Rocky, about Jim, saying he’s going to get Jim’s wife. Rocky says revenge is a good way to ruin the plan they have going. Broderick says they need to start making other plans. Rocky thinks they should get more girls, but Broderick isn’t down with that plan anymore. He needs bigger money than that. Rocky doesn’t think Kathryn will be interested, but Broderick says anyone married to a prick like that isn’t happy. He can at least fool her long enough for her to think she is. He tells Rocky that she’s worth $250 million, and Rocky is like, damn, that’s a lot of money. Broderick says he just has to make her feel special and get out. Rocky says everything is about appearance, and no way she’d be seen with him in public on her own. He doesn’t want their plan jeopardized. Broderick says that’s not going to happen.

Hanna sings Amazing Grace as she cleans. The bell rings. It’s a man Kathryn sent to fix the leak. He says he built the place, and introduces himself as Derek. He asks how long it’s been leaking, and Hanna says she just moved in, but she’s just staying until she finds a place. She says she can’t afford it there, and asks if he knows of a place that’s a third of the price. He does, but it’s on the other side of town. She’s fine with that, and he says he’ll leave his card.

The morgue calls. Hanna says she’ll come down and get them. She asks the Lord to help her. Derek has to shut the water off, and asks if she’s okay. She says her grandson was murdered. The morgue found something in his pocket, and she has to go get it. He asks if there’s anything he can do, and she says fix the sink.

Kathryn’s phone rings. It’s Hanna, who tells her about the morgue calling. Kathryn asks if Hanna wants her to go along, but Hanna just wants to know if it’s okay to leave Derek there. Kathryn says he’s completely trustworthy, and to call her when she gets back.

David puts a bed together. Erica says he works fast, and he says she shops fast. He’s hoping she likes the bed, but she thinks it’s a little masculine. He asks her to help him with his feminine side. His phone rings, but he doesn’t recognize the number, so he doesn’t answer.

Candace asks to pay for another night at the hotel, but it’s been paid for a month. She says she must have forgotten, and Broderick tells her it was paid for in cash. She goes to the bar, and Oscar sits next to her. He tells her that he paid the bill, and she asks why. He says he still has the mark, but she says she’s not interested. He asks what’s wrong with her, and why she’s so angry. She says she wouldn’t be if he hadn’t stolen her money. Oscar tells her she’s not getting it back, but he’s trying to help her, and Charles still asks about her. She tells him to leave her alone, and he says he’ll cancel her stay. She’s like, okay, and he wonders what her plan is. Candace says it’s to get him the hell away from her.

Oscar’s phone rings, and he asks about Quita being arrested. Candace asks what he knows about her. He says she robbed someone, and he wants information to do a recovery deal. She asks if it’s Jim, and Oscar says it’s his son; Jim’s trying to get back his inheritance. Candace says it should be easy; he’s an idiot, and Quita is a bigger idiot. She suggests she help him, but he says he’s got this already. He asks if she has any idea what First Ladies make after leaving office. The mark is primed ready to go, and she’d rather bully old men. He asks what happened? She had a fire in her when they met, but now she’s like a regular old whore, waiting for the next john. He says Jeffrey is sitting in jail for a murder she’s responsible for. Candace is surprised to hear that, and Oscar says if he was her, he’d think about securing his future in case Jeffrey decides to talk. He tells her she’s running out of time, and she tells him to get away from her. She calls Veronica, and leaves a message to call her back.

The morgue guy gives Hanna a plastic bag of Quincy Jr’s things. She takes out a piece of paper. It’s a letter that starts with, God, please help… Hanna clutches it to her chest, and says she’s sorry.

Justin gets Jeffrey out of his cell. Again? All the prisoners hoot and holler as they walk past. Justin takes Jeffrey to the interrogation room, and tells him to have a seat. Justin sits on the table and asks if he’s okay. He hates that Jeffrey is in there. He found David’s cell number, but he’s not answering. Jeffrey gives him the password to unlock his phone, and says try calling from there. Justin says he’ll be okay. Jeffrey asks to go back to his cell, but Justin says it’s shift change; they have time. He sits on Jeffrey’s lap and Jeffrey says someone could walk in. Justin says it’s more fun that way, and Jeffrey asks if Justin’s wife thinks it’s fun. He asks if Justin has talked to her. Justin says he doesn’t care; he just cares about Jeffrey. Jeffrey says she could make it worse for him being a judge. Justin says he knows Jeffrey loves him. Jeffrey says he barely knows him, and asks him to stop and just find his dad. Justin says if Jeffrey doesn’t love him, it will mean he did all this for nothing. He tells Jeffrey to say it, and Jeffrey says, I love you; now find his dad. Justin starts kissing him.

Landon asks Charles what’s going on? Charles can’t get his tablet to work. He doesn’t know what he’d do without Landon, and Landon says ditto. Charles says it’s just a job for him, but Landon says he’s wrong. He loves his job, but it’s also his pleasure to work for Charles. He admires and respects him. He hasn’t met anyone like him; he’s real, decent, and honest. He has true compassion for people. He tells Charles that his top-secret clearance is causing his apps not to work, but he’ll take care of it. He says Charles has a late start tomorrow, and asks if he wants to go for a drink. Charles says okay, but as his friend, not his employer.

David pours drinks for himself and Erica. His phone rings and he ignores it. Hers rings, and she decides to do the same. He asks what if it’s her ex, and she says she blocked the number. She looks at the phone, and says it’s her sister. She calls back, and it’s Candace. David wanders away, and Candace says she wants to get this bastard, or Erica’s ass will be dead. Erica says she’s sorry, and asks how she can make it up. Candace says a few hundred grand. Erica asks how much time, and Candace says when she calls back, Erica had better have it. Erica tells David that her sister was just checking up on her.

Veronica is wheeled into the hospital on a gurney, with Benny holding her hand. Hanna is coming toward them, and she and Benny lock eyes.

Next time, Jeffrey won’t talk to the DA, Justin is going to bash someone’s head in, and Melissa harasses Veronica in the hospital.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit needs an uber caffeine boost for her swimwear meeting. She was on the cusp of going to the next level, when she met PK, and postponed her career to start a family. She wouldn’t trade it for anything, but is ready to get back to work. She thinks it’s going to be a killer collection. Nava means beautiful in Hebrew, and is Phoenix’s middle name, so that’s what she’s calling the line. She wants to launch for resort 2017. I’m not sure when this was filmed, but her assistants tell her she’s cutting it short. She thinks the line should reflect her, and it’s agreed that red is having a moment.

Teddi, who is a nice balance for this show, is meeting Dorit for drinks at four. She’s punctual, and believes it’s polite. We’re totally on the same page there. I hate, hate, hate when someone keeps me waiting. It’s disrespectful. She has a glass of wine, and has been waiting for a half hour. In her interview, she says if she wanted to have some wine alone, she would have done it in the comfort of her home. After forty minutes, and a bunch of unanswered texts, she’s calling it a day. As soon as she asks for the check, Dorit tells us she was laser focused on her teleconference meeting. In her interview, Teddi says she’s not an electronical wizard but is pretty sure Dorit could have sent a text while she was on the phone. She tells Dorit, another time, and Dorit babbles that she didn’t realize. Dorit is about fifteen minutes away, but Teddi is like, later. Dorit is all, sorry, sorry, sorry. In her interview, Teddi says thanks for the apology, but it’s a different kind of person who doesn’t even realize they’re that late to meet someone.

Kyle says she doesn’t have swans or horses, but still feels like she has a zoo with all her dogs. Ha-ha! Yes, she does. The little one just peed on the wall. Rich people – they’re just like us. LisaR video chats from Canada. Kyle asks when she’s coming back. She’s filling in for Kelly on Kelly and whoever-it-is-now in the morning. In her interview, LisaR says she was very close to being Regis’s co-host, and does a decent impression of him.

Lisa goes to Vanderpump Dogs and plays with a puppy. She says it’s been a labor of love, and we look at different clips of their progress. She says they were throwing in with another organization, but decided it was too sketchy. She loves having the rescue center, even though it’s riddled with emotional turmoil. Every time they get a dog that was going to be euthanized a good home, it’s worth it. The staff shows her a stray dog they brought in from the street, and she says it looks like Ken. They show their pictures side by side, and by God, she’s right.

Kyle meets Erika for lunch, and orders beet juice. She asks about Tokyo, and Erika had a great time. LisaR’s daughters are doing well on the modeling front, cut her no slack, and it was hilarious. Kyle tells Erica that she has two shows in development. In her interview, Kyle says every time she has an idea, she thinks her sisters will be upset, but she has exceptional stories to tell. Erica tells her about Tom breaking his ankle in a car accident. In her interview, she says he’s a 78-year-old who’s 50. It sounds like the car didn’t make it though.

Erika confers with her assistant. They talk about jet lag, how you think you’re cool, and then you’re not, and I identify. Erika tells him about Tom’s accident, and says it could have been worse. In her interview, she says she realized that one day she’ll be alone, and things can change in a moment. It’s the first time she’s seen Tom not super human. He’s in a lot of pain, and he doesn’t like to acknowledge it. She saw a flash of fear, and she’d never seen that before. It’s scary.

Kyle visits Teddi’s gym. Teddi says for the first five minutes, Kyle might hate her. Instructor Adam teaches them on a climbing machine. Teddi says Kyle did better than she did the first time. Afterward, they go to a porridge bar, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds intriguing. Kyle gets a juice, and Teddi gets a salad. Where’s the porridge? Kyle tells Teddi that Dorit claimed she was twenty minutes late meeting Teddi, and she was annoyed. Teddi says she was waiting almost an hour. She gets it if someone is busy, but she hired a nanny for the kids and is there waiting, and Dorit couldn’t even text saying she was going to be late.

LisaR checks into the NYC hotel. Wow. A fruit plate, champagne, and all kinds of stuff. She immediately wipes down everything with alcohol wipes, then calls Harry. She tells him she’s been getting texts that are saying he’s mean, and he says he’s being firm. He’s determined to get the girls in shape. In her interview, LisaR says he’d say she was the more lenient parent. They talk about Amelia doing her own laundry. Amelia FaceTimes with her, and doesn’t understand why she’s being subject to such menial tasks. In her interview, LisaR says she wants to prepare them to be on their own. She knows it sounds like stuff everybody should do, but everybody doesn’t.

Dorit meets Kyle at a Mexican place for lunch, and manages to be on time. Dorit talks about being tardy only six minutes, and says it’s an unfair recollection of the truth. In her interview, she says they were supposed to meet at four thirty. Teddi’s leaving was abrupt, and she doesn’t understand why it happened. Kyle says she’d never wait an hour for anyone. I WANT HER EARRINGS. They’re rose gold tassels, and HUGE. Kyle talks about selling her show ideas. She starts to cry, telling Dorit how her mom was all about the girls sticking together, and a victory for one, was a victory for them all. She doesn’t feel like she can call them about it though. She doesn’t know the reaction she’d get, and her parents are gone, so she kept it to herself. She says she and her sisters used to talk every day, but it changed after she produced American Woman. She says the shows are inspired by her life, and not theirs. She tells us Mauricio worked for her brother-in-law for years, and when he struck out on his own, it changed the family dynamic.

LisaR tells the hair guy to make it look not frizzy. She talks about teasing Regis that she’d the next co-host. Kelly was perfect, but she was close, and loves coming back. She says the first time she co-hosted was seventeen years ago. If she had gotten the job, their lives would be different. When Harry said how happy he was in Beverly Hills, she knew it was right because, family first. I loved the show that she co-hosted with Ty Treadway, Soap Talk. Alas, it was on the Soap channel, that also is no more.

Hanky! Panky! Dorit visits LVP at Villa Rosa. But not long enough.

Kyle meet Camille and Teddi for lunch. They’re waiting for LisaR coming in from New York. Kyle asks if Teddi has talked to Dorit.

LVP and Dorit go out for lunch. LVP asks about Dorit having another baby, but she’s swaying toward not doing it. She has two toddlers, plus PK, and is starting the swimwear line. She’d be crazy to throw another baby in the mix. Dorit tells LVP about how upset Kyle was, not being able to share her success with her sisters. LVP is surprised that she was that open with someone she doesn’t know well. Dorit says she feels that they’ve bonded and have a connection. In her interview, LVP is surprised that Kyle was so overcome with emotion, and was showing it to Dorit. Dorit says she’s put off by Teddi right now.

Teddi isn’t irritated about Dorit being late anymore, but it bothers her that she changed it to twenty minutes.

Dorit shows LVP Teddi’s text at 4:36.

Teddi shows the girls the text where Dorit thought they were supposed to meet between 4:30 and 5:30. She wonders who gives between an hour to meet at a restaurant?

Dorit says she couldn’t have apologized more, but Teddi couldn’t wait any longer, even though she was ten minutes away. Another five minutes shaved off.

Teddi says she thought she could just get over it, but then Kyle said Dorit claimed she was only twenty minutes late.

Dorit says Teddi Claims she was kept waiting fifty-four minutes. She’s exaggerating times, and making her out to be an idiot and a bad guy.

Kyle says Dorit told her that she was six minutes late. In her interview, Camille says Dorit is a little bit self-absorbed, and a bottomless pit of BS. Teddi says she understands if you can’t make it, but don’t lie about it.

Dorit says she has strict time restraints that others might not understand. I choke on my coffee. LVP gets how important that can be, and says a friend gives you slack. LVP changes the subject to Dorit calling Camille a stupid c-word.

Camille says she was bringing David around for the first time, and she was nervous enough. She was embarrassed. She thinks Dorit talks and drinks too much, and might be desperate for attention. In her interview, Kyle thinks saying someone drinks too much is a big deal. I don’t. Dorit was talking too much because she was drinking too much. Kyle brings up LVP using the word, but Dorit isn’t British. It’s true. They don’t think as much of that word as we do.

Dorit says she doesn’t have an issue with Camille, but was just being stupid. LVP suggests Dorit look at it from Camille’s POV. She has a new boyfriend, and introduced him to the group for the first time. A light bulb comes on over Dorit’s head, as she realizes she might have been rude.

Camille says Dorit hurt her feelings. She was inappropriate, and it really is a nasty word.

LVP says Dorit can mess with her, but some people don’t have the same sense of humor. Maybe she needs to apologize. Dorit wonders why she always puts her foot in her mouth.

Camille says she’s getting Dorit a ball gag as a gift. In her interview, Kyle says Dorit’s mouth is like a tennis ball machine. LisaR arrives. She tells them how much fun she had, then blurts out that she knows “this little thing.” A “little lawsuit thing” with LVP. Allegedly something happened with Ken and a woman who was running a charity. Perhaps the sketchy organization LVP referred to? Allegedly, Ken assaulted her somehow. Kyle says assault implies physical violence, and he’d never do that. Ever. She tells LisaR that’s hard to believe, and gives her the evilest eye ever. I don’t buy it either. And little lawsuit thing? That’s just distasteful.

Next time, LVP attacks Kyle with a dog hair dryer, Harry talks to LisaR about the boys being after the girls, LVP addresses LisaR, and Kyle and Teddi have it out.

🏄  Summer House is returning – Monday, January 22, at 10 pm. I’m not sure why. I kinda, sorta, half-assed watched its first season, but once crossover Stassi (Vanderpump Rules) was gone, so was my interest. It’s like a mini Real World, but with older “kids.” Definite train wreck watching.

🍲 For those who like their cooking competitions with a Spanish flair, MasterChef Latino airs on Telemundo Sunday nights. Although I’ve enjoyed watching The Beastmaster in Spanish, I didn’t actually watch this show, but noticed it skimming around the digital guide, and thought it worthy of a mention.

To celebrate the middle of the week, employees at Gortney Industries built an actual hump.

Wednesday4

 

Mar14

March 13, 2017 – The Fun Never Ends in Port Charles, the Wedding Weekend Begins, Summer House Ends & Some Housewives Talk

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny visits Morgan’s grave. He has good news. Morgan’s killer is being brought to justice, and his family is holding up. He says they’re not sure they can prove who the killer is, and he and Carly split up. Sounds more like good news/bad news to me. He tells Morgan he did something very stupid, so don’t blame his mother. He managed to hurt her again. As he’s talking, Carly comes with flowers.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J. She asks for Julian. She tells him that she decided she couldn’t take the chance meeting at Ava’s. She’s found a way to protect herself with someone who’s more valuable to him. He asks who’s more valuable than Ava, and Olivia says his precious ex-wife, Alexis.

Dante tells Jordan what Jason and Curtis are doing. She says what if the bomb detonates, and Dante says hopefully, the bomb squad will disarm it.

At this point, Finn is sitting on the floor looking all sweaty. He tells Hayden it doesn’t seem like there’s a fire, and wonders if it’s something worse. Hayden asks what could be worse than a fire? He says that he doesn’t want to find out. She tells him he looks awful, and he says it figures.

Sam yells at the police about wanting to find Jason, and Epiphany tells her to knock it off. She gives the baby to Epiphany, and goes back to arguing with the officer. Franco tells the police to quit hassling Sam, and she tells him there’s a bomb in the building. They hear an announcement saying that Jason and Curtis are inside with the bomb squad.

Jason tells Curtis to leave, but Curtis wants to wait for the experts. The bomb squad shows up, and asks how they’re doing. Curtis tells them that they’ll be doing better once the bomb is disarmed. They have just over three and a half minutes left.

Sonny tells Carly that he thought if he talked to Morgan he could figure things out. Carly says she’ll come back, but Sonny asks her to stay. He says that he should have been talking to her and asking her to forgive him. She says she doesn’t give a damn about Nelle. Her son is dead. Sonny says our son, but she says it doesn’t feel like it. She says the worst part was going through it all by herself, and having the pit in her stomach with nothing to fill it and no one to understand. Sonny tells her that he understands. Carly says when she realized that, the relief was overwhelming, but now it’s like she’s back to the beginning. He says it doesn’t have to be that way, and she says it does. He says that sleeping with Nelle was the biggest mistake, and he doesn’t even know how it happened. Carly says she’s forgiven him for worse, but he let her keep Nelle close. He says he tried to get rid of her. But he didn’t, Carly tells him, and he should have told her the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to her pain, and Carly says he let Nelle take advantage of their family at its lowest point. He says he’s sorry, and she says she is too. She wants to spend time alone with Morgan.

Julian asks Olivia-J what she’s done to Alexis, and Olivia says he’ll find out when he meets her. She tells him come to the footbridge. Ava asks what’s going on, but Julian tells her that the less she knows, the better.

Hayden asks if Finn can wait this out. He tells her he’s going to be in full-blown withdrawal soon, and she should have left while she had the chance, before he starts throwing up.

Franco tells Sam that Jason wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bomb. She says that Franco should be in there, not Jason. Since Elizabeth is still in the hospital too, Sam asks Franco how it feels to be on the other side.

Jordan sees Elizabeth, and asks why she’s still there. Elizabeth tells her that she was helping to get patients out. Dante says that since Jason is Jake’s father, she should know what’s happening. He tells her about Jason being in the elevator with the bomb.

Curtis asks the bomb squad guy what wires need to be cut. The guy explains that the bomb has dual triggers, and both have to be disarmed simultaneously. Curtis refuses to leave, saying he can cut the wires himself. This is actually more practical than noble. The bomb squad guys have so much equipment on, by the time they trade places with Curtis, they’ll all be blown to smithereens. The guy gives Curtis the wire cutters. He tells Curtis that the same color wire will disarm both triggers. Curtis decides to go for the red one.

Carly tells Morgan that it’s typical of her and his dad to bring their issues to him. She says she couldn’t protect him in life, but she can try now. Her phone rings. It’s Ava, surprising the hell out of her. Ava says she’s desperate for a visit with Avery and can’t get Sonny on the phone. Carly says she’s at Morgan’s grave. Ava says she didn’t know. Carly says now you do, and hangs up. Carly tells Morgan she loves him, and leaves.

Alexis comes to on the footbridge, where she’s handcuffed to the railing. Olivia-J says sorry about the chloroform, and some sponsor she tuned out to be. Alexis asks why she’s doing this, and Olivia tells her that she doesn’t expect Alexis to understand. She’s learned there’s no line between love and hate. Olivia says she already has – my husband, who is home today, walks by and says something, and I have no idea what Olivia has now. Thanks, Ron.

Hayden wipes Finn’s forehead with a cool cloth. He says if he has to be stuck with anyone, he’s glad it’s her, but she doesn’t deserve this; she’s healthy and strong. Hayden says she’s where she wants to be. Her place is with him.

Sam tells Franco this is torture. They’re outside while the ones they love are inside. She says Elizabeth won’t die, because Jason is risking his life to save everyone. She says thank God he survived the ancient history of Franco trying to kill him.

Curtis realizes the red wires aren’t the way to go, and asks how Jason feels about blue. Jason likes blue. One…two…three…commercial.

An explosion sound is heard inside the hospital. Sam begs an officer for Jason’s status. He radios, but no one answers. Jason walks out. Sam runs to him. Guess blue worked.

Finn tells Hayden he’s still alive. He wonders if he heard a loud boom. Hayden says he’s not delirious, but nothing is raining down on them, so they must be okay. He asks what she’s going to do when she gets out. She tells him she’s going to help him kick his addiction. He asks why she’s wasting her time with him. She says he never ran, so she isn’t either. He says if something bad happens, she doesn’t have to keep her promise. She tells him that nothing bad will happen. A voice on the loudspeaker says the evacuation is officially over an everyone get back to work

Jason asks about Emily, and Sam says they need to get her and go home. Jason tells Sam that she’s going back to bed in the hospital. She makes him promise to come with her.

Jordan follows-up on Olivia-J. Curtis comes in. Jordan says he didn’t have to do what he did. He says he’s practically an expert. She mentions some case and says it doesn’t count, but he says he’s two for two. He wants her to admit she’s glad he’s alive. He reminds her that she was also knocked unconscious, and needs to see a doctor.

Franco sees Elizabeth and kisses her.

There’s a knock on Ava’s door. It’s Carly, who starts to bang on the door like a lunatic. Ava tells Carly she’s no longer a suspect, and there’s proof someone else planted the bomb.

Julian sees Alexis on the footbridge. Olivia puts a gun in his back and says right on time.

Elizabeth and Franco find Finn and Hayden. Elizabeth asks if Finn is sick, and Hayden says he’s going through withdrawal.

Sonny comes by Sam’s room. He says he heard Jason saved the day, but Jason says Curtis did most of the work. Sonny checks out Emily, saying she’ll give Avery a run for her money. Sam says she knows he’s thinking about Morgan, and she’s sorry. He says nothing to be sorry about; the baby is a blessing.

Carly says everyone kept telling her that Ava couldn’t be guilty, but Julian was talking to his sister on the recording. Ava says he was talking to his sister, but not to her. He was talking to the sister who supposedly died in 1990, but didn’t. She shows Carly an article about Olivia-J on her tablet, and says Carly can apologize now. Carly looks at Olivia’s picture and says she killed my son.

Julian tells Olivia-J to let Alexis go; she has nothing to do with it. Olivia says she has everything to do with it. She wants him to feel the same pain she did when he murdered Duke, and she lost the love of her life. The difference is, she isn’t going to kill Alexis, Julian is.

Elizabeth says she’ll help Finn, but she can’t let him go back to work in his condition. Hayden asks if she’s going to report him, but Elizabeth says his secret is safe as long as he takes a leave of absence.

Jordan tells Curtis that she feels fine, and there’s a madwoman running loose. He says as soon as she gets checked out, she can go back to work. He tells her that it’s good she has someone looking out for her.

Out in the hallway, Jason explains to Sonny about Olivia-J. He says it was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. He tells Sonny to go home to Carly, but Sonny says she wants nothing to do with him. Jason asks if she knows about Nelle. Sam pops out, saying that Emily is done eating. She asks if Sonny is all right. He says the woman who killed his son is still out there

Carly asks if Ava believes Olivia-J is alive. Ava says considering she saw her, she doesn’t have much choice. Carly asks why she didn’t call police, and Ava tells her that Olivia had her tied up and threatened the safety of someone she cares about. Carly says she thought that Ava cared about Morgan. Carly tells Ava that she doesn’t want the police finding Olivia; she wants to find her first, and make her pay in ways she couldn’t imagine. Ava says she guesses prison won’t suffice, and Carly asks if it would had it been Kiki? Ava says no, but keep in mind that it wasn’t Olivia’s intention. Morgan shouldn’t have been in the car. Carly says you don’t get to plant a bomb and say oops, didn’t mean it, when there’s collateral damage. There’s nothing she could say or do to get Carly to forgive her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s going to shoot Alexis. He laughs, saying that she’s missing the mark. He says Alexis and he are done; they have no love for each other. Olivia says that any fool can see he’s madly in love with her. She’s learned that pain and love are two sides of the same coin, and he’s learning that lesson. If he doesn’t do it, she will. She gives him the gun. He tells Alexis that he’s sorry, and shoots.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam to cherish every moment with the baby. He leaves, and Sam says she feels awful for him. Jason agrees, and asks how she is. She says fine right now, and snuggles against him.

Finn signs a request for a leave of absence, and thanks Elizabeth for her discretion. She says just make it count. Franco brings in a wheelchair to take Elizabeth back to work. Finn wants to take Hayden up on her offer of help, but feels that it’s something he needs to do on his own.

Dante confirms to Jordan that she needs to be checked out. Curtis is glad for another voice of reason.

The chain on the handcuffs is broken. Julian tells Alexis to run.

Epiphany comes to get Jordan. Jordan tells Curtis that he doesn’t have to wait, but he says he does.

Carly picks up an empty martini glass, and asks Ava if it was Olivia-J’s. Ava says Julian always said that Olivia was a lunatic, and he wasn’t kidding. She tells Carly that she doesn’t want to repeat the experience of meeting her, and Carly says she won’t have to, and smashes the glass against the wall.

Sonny calls in favors. He wants the bitch who killed his son.

Julian and Olivia-J struggle over the gun. Alexis starts to run and a shot goes off. Olivia looks into the water. Well, either Julian is in the water or Olivia is going to keel over into it.

Tomorrow, Carly talks to Morgan some more, Sonny asks Curtis for help, and Jake refuses to talk about what happened on the island with Helena.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom plays a trumpet while dog Charlotte gives him the side eye. Jax stops by, and asks about bringing Tom’s triplet brothers in for the wedding. He’s concerned about the expense because they’ve waited until the last minute. The triplets still live at home in Yuli, Florida. I mention the town because Tom says it’s some place no one has heard of, but I just sent an eBay order there not that long ago. Tom calls and asks if the brothers can make it if he and Jax spring for the tickets. Tom wants it to be a surprise, and Jax seconds that. Jax says the triplets love their brother, but aren’t the most responsible guys on the planet. I’d say so, since they’re still living at home and they’re not children. Or even college students.

The bridesmaids go for a fitting. Nice dresses! Katie shows up, and is impressed with how the girls look. She says everyone is going to look fantastic, especially her. Well, let’s hope so.

Schwartz has the responsibility of going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and getting candy for the wedding favors. Jax loads up on candy corn, and Tom says he’d rather let Jax bang his girlfriend than eat candy corn. I don’t know about that, but I personally find candy corn stomach-turning. Jax calls it a favorite Halloween treat. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid. It was one of those dud candies. Chocolate or die.

Stassi talks about some upcoming dates, but she doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. She wants to hang out with her friends and stalk the eligible bachelors. They discuss Katie working on her anger issues.

Schwartz says he fell apart in NOLA and was a mess. Now, moving forward, he’s left lingering resentments behind. I’d actually be more concerned about Katie’s lingering resentments.

At SUR, Katie tells Jax and Scheana about her date night with Schwartz. Scheana says better to fix the problems now than after they have kids. She’s thinking about next summer for her, but Jax thinks that’s too soon. They talk about Stassi dating again. Scheana tells them that Shay is working on something special for her in the studio, but Jax wonders if it’s just avoidance.

Lisa finds two horses outside of the restaurant. She says there’s always an aura of magic and surprise in West Hollywood, and always expect the unexpected. She gets on one of the horses and rides into the restaurant. Not really, she rode about half a block, but that would have been cool.

In the restaurant, Lisa tells Jax he needs to be more heavy-handed in pouring Sangria. She tells him the glass is barely wet and in her interview, says he pours for her like he’s her date on prom night. He tells Lisa about Scheana wanting kids soon, and thinks Shay is avoiding her. He says he’s always thought she could do better, but Lisa says it’s not her business unless Scheana makes it her business. Thank you. And I wouldn’t blame Shay for avoiding this crowd if he wants to stay sober. I’m sure they have other friends, right? Right?

Stassi is doing a photo shoot to get her mojo back. If some of the photos are hot and not too risqué, she’s going to use them for her dating app. Seeing Tom dressed as a woman has encouraged her to up her game. She talks to Katie about the wedding, and says it’s getting real now. She realized how much she cared about their friendship when they were apart, and says it feels good to be friends again. The photographer has Stassi put on a barely there body suit. Stassi says there’s something liberating about letting it all hang out.

Brittany scares Jax by telling him that she discussed Schwartz’s with Kristen. She tells him to calm down, and reminds him that he’s the one with the biggest mouth in town. He claims Kristen is worse, but, no.

Raquel’s mother and sister come to visit. James says that dating her is a world of difference from dating Kristen, and I’m not repeating the analogy he gives. James tells them that he’s not working at SUR or PUMP anymore. He says he kept getting into “situations.” We flash back to him getting drunk and behaving like a rabid animal, and Lisa telling him that he’s turning into an a-hole before her eyes. He says he has a gig at a new restaurant, and he hasn’t been drinking. He promises that he loves Raquel, and the family thing means a lot to him. In his interview, he talks about his parents’ divorce, gets all teary, and says he sees a future with Raquel. Her mother proposes a toast, and everyone loves everyone.

Katie and Schwartz are getting ready to leave for the wedding. Stassi comes over to help them. They’re bringing a cake and a piñata. Stassi says the piñata is probably filled with condoms, gummi bears, Ninja Turtle action figures, and maybe some weed. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. Schwartz says they like taking road trips, and he likes Katie doing the driving. Stassi takes a going away picture.

Lala shows up at SUR while Ariana is on her break. In her interview, Ariana says she hasn’t seen Lala since the birthday debacle, and it sounds like she’s not too interested. Lala has some things to say in person. She’s serious about how sorry she is. She tells Ariana that she’s embarrassed about her actions in not showing up for Ariana’s birthday. Ariana has been a good friend, and she’s sorry how she handled things. She tells Ariana that sometimes when she can’t manage her life, she goes into shut-down mode. In her interview, Ariana says she wants to give Lala another chance, but she’s not going to pretend nothing happened. Lala asks if Lisa is there, and asks Ariana to pray and/or give good vibes. She goes inside.

Lisa asks Lala what the hell happened. Lala explains about shutting down, and how when that happens, it’s f-u to everyone, and she does what she wants to do. Lisa says owning it doesn’t absolve her from taking responsibility. She had Lala’s back, and Lala let everyone down. Lala says she feels embarrassed and awful. Lisa says she left them hanging, but they survived without her. She doesn’t think Lala was honest with her life, and Lala says she doesn’t think anyone there is worthy of hearing about her life. Not too entitled sounding. Lisa is like fine, keep your life private then, but when you lie, don’t expect people not to call you on it. Lala gets weepy and says she’s different from other people, and her anxiety prevents her from doing a lot of things. Lisa tells her to grow from it. In her interview, Lisa says Lala’s entire strategy is being young and pretty, which isn’t going to last forever. She tells Lala to keep in touch.

Tom tells Katie he’s excited, but he misses his brothers.

Kristen and Carter are packing. Kristen explains the logistics. She asks if he knows about Schwartz’s brothers, and tells him about the surprise. She whispers like Schwartz is in the next room.

Oooh! A bear! Katie says it’s the first bear she’s seen, and Schwartz says there are bears all over West Hollywood. HAHA! (Google it.) They get to the cabin, and the venue people help them with the cake. The co-owner goes over expenses. An extra 10K for the flower additions. I faint. Aside from my bouquet, and bud vases for the tables, my flower budget was zippity-doo-da. I couldn’t justify buying flowers for an hour’s service, and the caterer/planner decided on the centerpieces. $51,058 is the grand total. I pick myself back up off of the floor again, and I can’t even repeat what Schwartz says in his interview. That’s a lot of money for a wedding in the woods. Katie thinks they should drink, write the check, and chill. I’d have to down a lot of booze to write a check in that amount for anything except real estate. I’d have to be drunk to begin with to spend that much on a wedding.

Kristen and Carter arrive. Schwartz says he could be clear of student loan debt, but instead he’s writing a check for flowers and a buffet. Student loans for what? Schwartz has a degree? What is he doing with his life? Stassi is next, bearing the piñata. Her friend Rachael is with her. They had some travel problems, and she says they ended up having to navigate by the stars. Katie tells her about the bear. She can’t believe everything the group has been through, and says being there together is a testament about how much they care about each other. She feels lucky to have a “framly.”

Tom missed his flight because he forgot his suit, but I don’t know if that’s just a story to cover for picking up the brothers. Schwartz talks about his dad not coming because of a flying fear, his sister having to work, and that his brothers not coming because of finances. I’m thinking if the wedding cost that much, what was another $1500 to get them there (which is what it ended up costing for three tickets at the last minute).

Jax says Schwartz’s brothers share a cell phone, so communication hasn’t been the greatest. He’s not going to relax until they’ve arrived.

Scheana is looking forward to spending time with Shay. She shows Shay a pantsuit she’s considering for the rehearsal dinner. He tells her that when he does laundry, he doesn’t even know what half the things are that she wears.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken arrive with the dogs, Pandora, and her husband. The desk clerk tells them about the great hiking nearby, and Lisa says the last time she did a hike, it was to Neiman Marcus. Their room is bi-level and beautiful. Lisa can’t believe this is actually happening. Ken wonders If Schwartz is going to back out. We flash back to a few times when he’s quit what he started. Giggy!

Everyone manages to get to the venue in one piece, minus Tom. Schwartz tells Jax that his and Brittany’s room is where the saloon used to be. Ariana says Tom made it to the gate just as it closed, and she could see his nose pressed against the window glass as the plane took off. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was my mental picture. Jax tells Brittany he has to call Tom, since Schwartz’s brothers missed the flight

Next time, the gang goes tubing, the piñata happens, lots of booze is consumed, the brothers arrive, and the wedding begins.

🏖 Summer is finally over on Summer House. The most boring show ever. Weekend at Bernie’s is a better illustration of the Hamptons. It was tough for me to keep the names straight. Everyone looked alike, and I swear all the girls were named Lindsay. There was a Kyle and a Carl for God’s sake. Kyle was one of the few I could decipher, probably because the show started with him striking out with Stassi, who was spending a weekend there. In the finale, he made a commitment to his girlfriend, Amanda, whom he invited out for the final weekend. Most likely after discovering that no one else would have him. Sadly, the Pegasus pool float didn’t make it, and Carl had to stage a burial. He said that Pegasus deflated was the perfect metaphor for the summer, and I tend to agree. There was no indication of a reunion. Hope this group enjoyed the fifteen minutes they got off of Stassi’s coattails.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra staged a weird friendship intervention that she called a “restoration meeting.” This made it sound like there was something spiritual about it, but it was more like a grievance airing. Cynthia could barely keep her eyes open, and to no one’s surprise, Porsha couldn’t understand why it was bad to make up criminally prosecutable lies about Kandi when she felt hurt. While for a moment, it was disquieting to think that Phaedra could be the voice of reason, as Kandi so aptly put it, the meeting was an epic fail. The saddest thing was Sheree having a come-to-Jesus moment about her ex, Bob Whitfield, who still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

🗽 The Real Housewives of New York: How They Got Here airs on Wednesday, March 15, at 9 pm. As with Southern Charm, it’s a retrospective. I guess this is a thing now, and who can blame Bravo? Why not milk the franchises for all they’re worth? I’d hate to be that guy – and you know there was one – who thought Bravo was a complete waste of time and effort and would never turn a profit. Hopefully, he didn’t sell his stock.

 

Mar7

March 6, 2017 – Nora Buchanan Comes to Port Charles, SUR’s Annual Photo Shoot & Scary Summer House

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane goes the bar and orders a double espresso because she needs extra caffeine for the case coming up. She gets chatty with the woman next to her. She talks about her opposing counsel, Nora Buchanan. Which is who she’s sitting next to, although she doesn’t know it yet. I guess she never watched One Life to Live.

Nina deals with the ringing phones in the office. Valentin comes in, and hangs up the phone. Nina is still annoyed with him about Anna.

Anna is packing up. Dante sees her checking her weapon. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says that’s a good observation. He asks if her doctor knows. She thanks him for caring, but says she’s not going to just wait there while Olivia-J is alive and on the loose.

Franco gives Elizabeth a ride to work, and they flirt in the garage. He points out that Ava and Julian have a sister crazier than they are. He says crazy doesn’t discriminate, and he wants her to be safe.

Dante talks to Anna about Olivia-J’s obsession with Duke. He says there’s a good chance Olivia is out to get her, and she says she’s counting on that.

Olivia-J has Robin prisoner. She tells her that they have a lot of work to do, and need to get cracking. She is a lot of fun. I guess that’s why they made her kooky/aggressive instead of just aggressive. It gives leeway to bring her back again.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Olivia-J does give her the creeps. He asks about Sam. Elizabeth says she’s doing well, considering. Franco suggests she not to talk about it if Jake can hear. He explains about his conversation with Jake, and how Jake said Sam had a bad curse on her.

Olivia-J tells Robin that it’s a blast from the past, and congratulates Robin on her success. She takes the tape off of Robin’s mouth. Robin says everyone thought she was dead, but Olivia says she’s back and better than ever, and that circumstances dictated her return. Robin asks if it has anything to do with her family. Olivia says it has to do with the murder of her one true love, Duke.

Anna leaves a message for Robin. She complains to Dante about Robin being over-protective, and Dante says that Robin was just concerned for Anna’s health. Anna says she’s not an invalid. She tells him that they have to get Olivia-J out of hiding, and she’s the perfect bait. Griff is in the doorway, and says he hopes she’s talking about her dating life.

Valentin tells Nina that he wasn’t with Anna, and gives Nina a picture that Charlotte drew for her, saying that Charlotte was asking for her. She wants to see Nina in the morning, and so does he. Nina says she loves being Charlotte’s stepmother, but doesn’t love him keeping secrets.

Nora says it sounds like Diane has a fight on her hands. Diane goes on about covering all the bases, and realizes that she’s doing all the talking. Nora says she knows who Diane is, an attorney by day and novelist by night, and asks when the new book is coming out. Diane is flattered that she has a reader, and says lately her duties as an attorney have been taking up all of her time. It’s nice to see Nora again. I got to meet her on the OLTL set, and she was lovely and gracious. Actually, all of the people there were, both cast and crew. Bo winked at me. Ah, memories!

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake has some unresolved issues about being on the island with Helena, which he pronounces He-leen-a. Elizabeth says that Jake seems fine, and thinks he just needs to be a kid for a while. She asks Franco to pick her up later.

Diane says normally she doesn’t take custody cases, and Nora asks why this one. Diane tells her that she’s on retainer for a particular man with a particular reputation, and he wanted his daughter-in-law to have the best representation possible. Nora asks how she wins a custody case, and Diane talks about discrediting the other parent without looking like a shark, and that the focus should be on the best interest of the child and trying to compromise.

Laura and Lulu walk in. Diane is about to introduce them, and says she didn’t catch Nora’s name.

Nina asks Valentin why Anna broke in, and why it doesn’t make him angry. He says he doesn’t know how he would have reacted if Anna hadn’t collapsed, but she did, and he doesn’t want to make her life more miserable. He says Anna is the past, and Nina and Charlotte are the future. He asks if they’ll be able to present a united front at the custody hearing.

Griff says he’s not signing off on Anna’s paperwork, and Finn isn’t either. Dante tells her not to do anything stupid because he’ll be in court. They wish him luck.

Robin asks if Olivia-J wants revenge on Julian ordering the hit on Duke. Olivia says that by the time she was able to reunite with Duke, Julian had taken him away again. She’s come back to right Julian’s wrong; she has to restore balance at General Hospital. Robin asks what that means. She says obviously she has to bring Duke back. Obviously.

Nina tells Valentin that she didn’t realize how different they are. His spy training was good, because he’s impossible to read, while she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s angry and confused, and Valentin says she should think about what she wants, meanwhile he’ll be in court fighting for it.

Valentin comes into the bar and introduces his attorney, Nora, to everyone.

Elizabeth comes back to the garage, and Franco admits he’s the new garage attendant. He says it was available, and she has three boys to take care of. She says he’s charming, talented, and thoughtful. They lean against a car to kiss, and hear something in the trunk.

Olivia-J says she would think that someone with Robin’s skills, knowledge, and education would be more aware. She’s studied every culture and philosophy, and seen miracles happen. She’s expanded her consciousness. She tells Robin that death is a transitory state, and sometimes we need to give life a happy end. Robin is like, are you resurrecting Duke in the hospital basement? Olivia says don’t be stupid; they’re in a boiler room, but they need GH. She opens a secret door, saying this is it; this is the lab where Helena breathed new life into Stavros.

Anna says she’s following all the rules, and Griff says Finn told him that she’s just following the rules she likes. After mumbling about patient/doctor confidentiality, she tells Griff that a higher priority has emerged – Robin.

Olivia-J looks around the lab, bringing Robin along. Robin thought it had been destroyed. Olivia says she found out it wasn’t, and asks Robin if she’s familiar with the machines. Robin says she is, and they look damaged, but she’s a doctor, not an engineer. Olivia asks how Helena resurrected her son. Robin says Stavros wasn’t exactly dead. The machines just kept him alive while he was healing. She says the machines aren’t going to work on Duke; he’s not coming back.

The car alarm goes off and Elizabeth calls for help. She pops the trunk open, and Franco says it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Elizabeth sees Julian in the trunk.

Nina looks out the window, not getting any work done. She flashes back to Valentin telling her he loves her, and how she was afraid of saying it back. She thinks about Valentin telling her that Anna is the one stuck in the past, and Nina is hung up on what the other men in her life have done to her.

Diane tells Nora that her reputation does her justice, and she’ll be a formidable opponent. Nora says she’s right about compromise being the name of the game – unless her client refuses to compromise. Diane says this is the first time they’ve met, but she learned something. Nora says her too, and leaves with Valentin. Diane tells Lulu and Dante that Valentin has a good lawyer, but theirs is better.

Anna says she thinks Olivia-J wants to exact revenge on Julian, and that she was madly in love with Duke. She tells Griff about how she was pregnant with Duke’s baby, and Olivia rigged the elevator to crash and she has a miscarriage. Griff asks if that was the intention. Anna doesn’t know, but it served Olivia’s purpose. She has to find Olivia before she targets Robin. Hurting Robin is the surest way to hurt her. Elizabeth runs in, saying she’s there about Julian.

Olivia-J asks if Robin is all science and no faith. Robin says she wishes they could bring Duke back too, but it’s not how the machines work. Helena had Stavros’s body, but Duke was cremated. Olivia takes something out of her bra, saying she’s been carrying it for years. I could make a lot of jokes here, but moving on. It’s a lock of Duke’s hair, and she says the DNA should be enough. Robin says it’s not. Olivia says she can’t give up on Duke, and Robin says she understands. She lost her first love too, but can’t bring him back, the same way she can’t bring back Duke. All they can do is live their lives in their loved one’s honor, and Duke would want Olivia to be happy. Olivia says it’s not possible without him. Robin says she’s moved on, and Olivia can too. Robin reaches toward Olivia, and Olivia drops the vial. It shatters, and she tells Robin, look what you made me do.

Olivia-J says Robin destroyed the last pieces she had of Duke. Robin says that’s not true; he left a piece of himself in each of their hearts. Olivia says that’s not good enough. She says Robin did have one good idea though. Maybe he left another piece of himself.

Anna asks how Julian is. Griff says it’s not that severe, and he’ll recover. Anna is having the car checked out. She wonders why Olivia-J would leave Julian alive. Perhaps there’s another reason she came to town, other than getting even with him. She says good thing Olivia doesn’t know about Griff.

Diane apologizes for her lapse in judgement, saying it won’t affect the case. Lulu says Valentin murdered her brother, but Diane reminds her that there’s no proof. It helps their case that he’s had an unsettled undocumented life, but Nora will present him in the best light possible.

Nora tells Valentin that Diane is good. When she found out who Nora was, she barely blinked. She makes a nice living making sure Sonny stays out of prison and gets what he wants. Valentin says that’s why he hired Nora. She tells him to be careful how he presents himself. She asks about Nina, and he says he doesn’t know if she’ll be joining them. At all.

Nina calls Charlotte. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t tuck her in, but she had a grown-up work thing. She promises she’ll make it up to her. She asks what Charlotte wants her to do, and if Charlotte would like to sing with her. She sings as she looks at a photo of the three of them, and starts to choke up. Oh come on, we know you’re going to help. Get to the hearing already.

Lulu says Maxie texted her, saying Valentin and Nina are on the rocks. How she knows this, I’m not sure. Lulu says that if the marriage is unraveling, they’re not providing Charlotte with a stable home, and Diane says they can spin this. Lulu says they have to act fast while the problems are hot.

Nora tells Valentin to apologize, whatever it takes, get Nina there. He says it’s not going to happen. She says he’s a man with a questionable past, while Lulu has stacks of affidavits to support her as a parent. If he doesn’t present to the court that he’s the preferable parent, he’ll have to share custody or lose it entirely.

Lulu tells Dante that they should take advantage of the situation. Dante says they could push Nina away from Valentin or back into his arms.

Nina looks at her calendar, seeing the entry for the hearing. Laura comes in. Nina says it’s not a good time. Laura says she’ll want to make time; she has a proposition.

Griff asks Anna to be careful. She promises she will. Anna says if he sees Robin, tell her to stop dawdling, but she’s not leaving Julian until the police get there. Griff leaves, and Anna calls Julian a cat with nine lives. He asks where he is, and she tells him he’s in the hospital, and that he was found tied up in the trunk of a car. She asks if Olivia-J did this.

Olivia gets in the elevator with Griff.

Anna asks Julian where Olivia is, and why she put him in the trunk. He says she’s here and never left.

Griff remembers Olivia from the garage. She’s flattered that he recognizes her, and says she could never forget him. He reminds her of her one true love, his father, Duke.

Tomorrow, Laura tells Nina that they can both have what they want, Anna asks Julian where Olivia-J is, and Olivia-J kidnaps Griff.

Vanderpump Rules

Everyone manages to get back from Vegas without getting arrested. Jax shows Lisa their drag pictures. She tells Tom that he looks better as a woman. She asks if Schwartz and Katie had a good time, but Jax says they didn’t sleep in the same bed for the first two nights and fought 80% of the time. Lisa decides to talk to Katie.

Scheana and Ariana talk about the fighting. Ariana doesn’t think it’s a good solution to bottle up the problems until after the wedding. She wonders how you retrain yourself not to fight like that.

Harrison! The SUR photo shoot is coming u,p and we flash back to the previous ones. This year’s theme is indulgence. Lisa asks Katie about the fighting during the party weekend, but she passes the blame to Schwartz. Lisa says if they keep going in that direction, they could lose each other. In her interview, Lisa says this is more than pre-wedding jitters, and if they can’t get along on vacation, how are they going to get it together IRL?

Stassi and Kristen go to lunch. Kristen brings her dog Gibson along. He’s a certified service dog; she got him a card for $79. She says she won’t stab James in the heart while Gibson is with her, so whatever works. Stassi fills out a dating app profile on her phone. She tells us that desperate times call for desperate measures, and she does not want to date any more bartenders.

Katie and Schwartz visit Lisa. Schwartz doesn’t trust the swans. I probably wouldn’t either. Lisa asks what they still have to do. Katie says they still have some catering stuff to deal with, and one more thing. A guy dressed like a butler comes to the door. He proclaims Lisa the fairest in the land, and tells her that Katie and Schwartz request that she officiate at their nuptials. She tells them that she’s totally overwhelmed and didn’t expect it, and Schwartz says they wanted something special. Lisa tells them she takes marriage seriously, and the way they’ve been behaving gives her cause for concern. We flash back to Katie telling Lisa about various fights with Schwartz. Lisa says it has to be a new chapter in their lives, and she wants to make sure they’re taking responsibility. Schwartz says everything they’ve been through has overshadowed the relationship. Katie starts to cry.

In her interview, Katie says they have big problems, and they have to face them. She tells Lisa that she wants to be with Schwartz. She says they let themselves forget who they were, and she and wants to get back to that. Lisa wants to know they’re really committed to each other before she agrees.

The kids go to the beach for some sun, and drinking in a different atmosphere. Stassi says she had a date and made out all night long. She’s not looking for anyone to put a ring on it though – unless the ring is really big. Schwartz tells them about asking Lisa to officiate, and how they ended up having a sit-down and it got heavy. She wants to make sure they love each other before she says yes, and Schwartz agrees it’s been a disaster lately. Tom says the friends have overstepped boundaries, but it was out of concern. Dolphins! (I’m like a person with ADD when I see animals.) In his interview, Tom says that only Lisa has the balls to say what everyone is thinking.

Schwartz suggests that he and Katie not be a-holes anymore. Good luck with that, especially hanging around this crowd. He says they’re supposed to be unflappable, but they’ve been majorly flappable. He almost picks up something on the beach, but Katie tells him not to touch it; it’s a tampon. Ugh! This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, since I live near a beach. Anything plastic really.

Lisa goes to the stables to visit Prince Tardon, her new horse. Ariana comes along to go riding with her. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t know if she could have a bigger lady crush on anyone. Me too. She tells Lisa that she talked to Schwartz, and Katie feels guilty. In her interview, Lisa is glad they’re taking her seriously, but they have a lot of work to do. She asks Ariana if she’s ever getting married, but Ariana is not too keen on babies. Lisa says talk to her in five years.

Stassi visits Kristen. She says she’s a recovering serial monogamist, and it’s the first time she’s dated in seven years. She’s going on a blind date tonight, and says he has the best Instagram she’s ever seen – no gym selfies. Kristen wants her to bring condoms, but Stassi says she’s not doing anything on a first date. Kristen thinks she needs to break down the wall she’s put up. I dunno. It looks like she’s doing just fine to me. These days, it probably isn’t a good idea to not have sex right off the bat. To be honest, it probably wasn’t in my day either, but we had fewer STD and STV concerns.

Tom is treating the guys to a spray tan session at Jax’s house. What happened to lunch at a restaurant? On top of it, he calls it a “sesh,” which makes me cringe. Schwartz announces that he and Katie had sex last night. Tom says mission accomplished. Schwartz asks who can get ordained quickly in case Lisa says no. In his interview, he says having Jax do it would be like Lucifer baptizing you.

Stassi meets blind date David. She says it’s like interviewing someone to evaluate if you eventually want to have sex with them. Kinda. They start with some wine and nice to meet yous. It sounds like he does something with computers, and when he tells her that he gets up at 7 am, she nearly has a coronary. Stassi is convinced that she’s pretty because she sleeps late. She talks about feeling pressured with her last relationship, but says maybe she felt that way because he was the wrong person. In her interview, she says that David is the kind of guy she should want to date, but she’s not feeling it. I have to say it, he does seem boring, and I understand why. Sorry, David.

Schwartz brings home some props for the photo shoot. There’s a pig with an apple in his mouth (I assume papier-mâché), a bunch of grapes, and other food items. Schwartz puts a towel over the pig’s head, saying the eyes are following him. Katie goes over the wedding budget. In his interview, Schwartz says Lisa suggested they be in each other’s presence and reaffirm their love, so they’re trying. He tells her that he feels terrible about what happened in Vegas, but she says she wants to leave it behind them. In her interview, she says she has no more doubts about him, and got the answers that she needed. He says he just wants to get take-out and watch Pauly Shore movies with her for the rest of their lives. Really? He’s not sounding much better than David. Worse. At least David has his Instagram going for him. In his interview, Schwartz says his confidence over the wedding has wavered, but in the past few days, they’ve brought back the reason they’re doing it.

Time for the photo shoot. It’s Brittany’s first, and she says she feels like part of the family. Ariana says it’s like the awkward office Christmas party you have to go to, but at this party, she’s naked. That actually sounds like one of those recurring nightmares. A table is set with a sumptuous feast, the pig at the center. Jax thinks they should update the website with the new photos, since they still show Kristen and Stassi, who haven’t worked at SUR for years. Tom has come prepared for anything – formal, casual, bright colors, muted colors. The photographer takes some shots of the girls fully dressed first.

Stassi and Kristen go out for lunch. I don’t know what it is, but it looks good. Thai maybe? Kristen gets a text from the girls about the photo shoot, saying be glad you’re not here. Stassi says her date was nice, but she needs a man. She wants to be the young skank, not be left for the young skank. Kristen thinks she needs someone who has their sh*t together, and in LA, that doesn’t happen until they’re in their 30s. Jax aside. They discuss Katie and Schwartz. Stassi thinks Lisa is smart to hesitate over officiating at the wedding. Then can’t believe she said that.

Photos are taken of Lisa with the guys in formal wear. Katie asks Scheana for tips about the wedding, since she’s never even been in one. Scheana says she feels a little left out; she misses their individual closeness. Katie says she didn’t realize Scheana was feeling excluded, and Scheana is just as important to her as ever. Scheana gets weepy, and tells Katie that she wants to be included.

Lisa sets up a shot of Tom and Ariana, suggesting they fornicate on the table. Only Lisa can get away with using that word. In his interview, Tom instructs us on how to hide an erection if you need to. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ Several photos are taken.

Schwartz and Katie talk privately, although Tom walks past and makes faces at them. Schwartz wonders if they should have a back-up in case Lisa says no. Lisa comes by, and says that’s how she wants to see them, smiling and happy, but not now because they have to get moving. Pictures are taken of Schwartz, Katie and a rose. Lisa is glad they’ve taken her advice to heart.

Brittany tells Jax he looks handsome, but I think he looks uncomfortable. She wonders why he didn’t return the compliment, and he says he told her that she looked pretty twice, and that should be enough. He’s such an oaf. I never even use that word, but it totally applies here.

The group shot is taken at a table with more lavish meal stuff. In her interview, Lisa likes having the photo shoot to document the history of SUR. Giggy! She says it’s like an extended family.

While out to dinner at SUR, Schwartz says he feels like he and Katie have gone through twenty years of relationship in five years. Katie says they looked at each other and their relationship through other people’s eyes, and it changed things. Lisa joins them and asks how they’re doing. Katie says they’ve been paying attention to the small things, like kissing each other good-by. Schwartz asks Lisa what her answer is, and she says now she’ll be happy and honored. She says they deserve each other, but in a good way. They’re both lovely people.

Next time, Lala is back, Stassi gets glamour shots taken, James meets Raquel’s mother, and Jax and Tom cook up a surprise for Schwartz.

🏖  Just a note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching (God help me), but not recapping. Why bother? Sex, fight, rinse, repeat. The really bizarre thing, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t that this is like The Real World  for adults (the more current seasons of The Real World, not the first ones, which were actually interesting), but that they sound like they’re rejects from Vanderpump Rules. They have accents like Valley girls, and one of them even said “gag me with a spoon” tonight. They didn’t move the Hamptons, right? The Hamptons is still on the east coast, right? Where did they get these people? This show frightens me. I could blow the SUR kids off, citing coastal and age differences, again with the exception of Jax, but this group is in their 30s and Long Island is still in New York, right? The antics of this bunch belong in a frat house, and it isn’t even appropriate there. The finale is next week. This has been one long summer.

🍹 Although Kyle did give one of the best quotes ever: I am way to drunk to deal with this right now.

Feb28

February 27, 2017 – Jason Gets Closer to the Truth, the NOLA Trip Ends, Summer House Implodes & Little LA is Back

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason explains that Sam told him Alexis was having difficulty with her sobriety, so she was staying over. Alexis shows him her 30-day chip, and says oddly enough, it’s the one day she’s not struggling. Jason tries Sam’s phone and it rings from Alexis’s purse. Oh-ho! So that’s what Olivia-J put in there. Did she think Alexis would never notice? Okay, if it was in my purse, it might take a while, but did she think it was never going to ring?

Olivia-J comes back to her room. Julian, who is handcuffed to the radiator with a hood over his head, asks if the psycho witch is back. She takes the hood off, and says she thought they should wait together for the news about GH.

Finn asks to speak privately to Hayden. Tracy says she can take a hint. Finn tells Hayden that he’ll do anything. He doesn’t want to lose her

Felicia joins Bobbie at the MetroCourt. Bobbie says she hasn’t been able to sleep since Felicia told her about Nelle’s secret. She asks if Felicia is sure it’s true, and she says absolutely.

Michael and Nelle get back from the cabin. Nelle tells Michael that he has to go and save the hospital, and she has to take care of one thing. After that, she can start over.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says she’s going home – to pack, and explain to Josslyn that she’s moving back in with him.

Monica asks Tracy if they have enough votes to save the hospital. Tracy tells her not until Laura shows up.

Olivia-J tells Julian that Laura got sidetracked, and he’ll get to live. He asks what she did with Sam.

Alexis wonders how the phone got in her purse. Jason asks if she left her purse anywhere. She says she only stepped away from it when she was talking with her sponsor. Jason shows her a picture of Olivia-J and asks if she recognizes it. Alexis says that’s her sponsor.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she contacted another teacher who’d been a friend of Nelle’s. Bobbie wonders why a stranger would tell Felicia anything. Felicia says that besides having an honest face, she’d explained that Nelle is on the short list to be Crimson’s woman of the month, and she was interviewing people who know her.

Carly tells Sonny that she hadn’t grieved Morgan properly. She wanted to bury herself in Sonny’s arms, but couldn’t. He tells her that he missed her. Thanksgiving night he was sure their marriage was done and that she was going back to Jax. He imagined the worst. She says that’s over, and she’s here with him now. They kiss

Nelle tells Michael that his words affected her, and she’s going to end what she started. He asks why she’s taking all the blame, and what about her boyfriend? She says he’s involved, and it would devastate his wife. Michael made her realize that she would only end up devastating herself. She’s been focused on the past, and wants to look to the future and spend more time with him. She says at the end of the night, she’ll be free to focus on him and whatever they decide to do.

Nelle says she feels like a new person. Michael tells her not to change too much. He leaves, and she tosses out the phone with the audio file on it and deletes the copy on her laptop. She says all that’s left now is what she sent to Carly. Like an idiot though, she leaves the dialogue box that says “Sonny audio file deleted” up on the computer screen.

Sonny tells Carly that they should make if official. She says she never filed for divorce, but he suggests renewing their vows. She adds, for the sixth time. He says he’s not the best Catholic, but he likes the ritual of his faith. He’d also like Griff to be the officiant. Carly says that’s fine, if he’s willing. Bobble texts Carly to meet her about something important. Sonny says he’s going to win Bobbie over yet, starting with making her daughter happy. Carly says she didn’t think she’d ever be happy again, but she is, and she loves him. He says he loves her too.

Hayden doesn’t want to be responsible for whether or not Finn goes to rehab. He asks Hayden to give him a chance. She tells him to let her do her job, and he wishes her luck with the board. No one has seen Laura, and they need her vote. Gray says it’s time to start. Tracy tells him that Michael and Laura are on their way

Julian asks again what Olivia-J did. She pours herself a stiff one, and says there was an accident. She tells Julian that Sam attacked her, and wound up falling off a bridge.

Jason asks Alexis if she’s sure. Alexis says she is, and wants to know who it is in the picture. Jason tells her it’s Olivia Jerome, who was presumed dead. Alexis is shocked that her sponsor is Julian’s sister. Jason says he thinks she’s been pulling Julian’s strings for a while, and that she set up the car bomb that killed Morgan. He figures that her being Alexis’s sponsor is a front, and one more thing she has over him. Alexis remembers walking in on them talking. She says Julian knew she was being duped and never said a word. They both suddenly remember that Sam is missing, and Alexis wonders if Olivia got to her.

Sam hears sirens in the distance, and tells Scout that help is coming.

Julian can’t believe that Olivia-J left Sam after she fell. He tells her that Sam is pregnant, and he can’t understand how she can be so heartless. Olivia says Sam attacked her, and she didn’t intend to hurt her. He’s the one who’s heartless, and deserves what she’s thrown at him. Alexis calls Julian. Olivia wonders why she’s calling.

Alexis leaves a message for Julian, saying that his sister Olivia is her sponsor, and she’s done something to Sam. Alexis wants to call Olivia-J and set her up, but Jason tells her not to.

Sam calls out that she’s down at the bottom of the hill. The sirens fade, and she realizes it wasn’t for them. She tells Scout it’s okay, but starts feeling pain.

Michael shows up at the board meeting. Tracy says a member is running behind schedule, and asks to postpone. Gray won’t go for it, and Michael says maybe Laura will show before they vote. Hayden presents her proposal, and Tracy starts asking questions. Gray says she’s stalling, and wants a vote. Monica asks Hayden to leave per policy.

Monica sees Obrecht in the hallway, and she tells Monica that she has something to do in the boardroom. Monica says there’s a board meeting going on, and what business could she have with it?

Sonny finds Griff at the hospital, and Griff tells him about the sickout. Sonny says he can’t provide nurses, but if he needs other workers, he can supply them. Griff says he’ll let him know. Sonny tells him about getting back together with Carly, and how they want to renew their vows with him officiating. Griff asks whose idea it was, and Sonny says it was his. He asks if it has anything to do with Sonny cheating on Carly.

Nelle goes through the mail at the office, but can’t find the envelope. She asks the mail guy where yesterday’s mail is, and he tells her that Bobbie was there organizing it for Carly.

Carly joins Bobbie. Nelle texts that she’s back, and Carly explains what happened with the cabin. Bobbie says Nelle is the reason she needed to see Carly. She says there’s no easy way, and tells her about Felicia investigating Nelle’s background, and that she found something big.

Michael says the board is deadlocked. Monica says there can be no resolution until Laura arrives. Obrecht says that’s where she comes in, to break the tie.

The pharmaceutical guy meets Finn at the bar. Finn says he researched the company, and they’re more about greed than healing people. He says the cure is mostly needed in underdeveloped countries. He believes they’re going to take his formula, tweak it, jack up the price, and make money. The guy says there are other applications, which is why they’re interested. Finn says no thanks, but the guy makes him an offer, doing that writing it on a piece of paper thing.

Griff tells Sonny that this is no way to move forward from one night stand, pretending that it didn’t happen. He says secrets are rarely kept, and how it comes out is what matters.

Nelle tells the mail guy that he shouldn’t have given Bobbie the mail, since she makes everything a bigger deal than it needs to be. He thinks it was just junk anyway. Nelle asks if she opened anything, but he doesn’t know.

Bobbie tells Carly that Nelle is bad news, and Carly will be hurt the most. Carly says she can handle it. Bobbie reminds her when Nelle decided not to take the job in Atlanta. Carly says it was because of Nelle’s boyfriend. Thinking Bobbie is focusing on Nelle’s boyfriend being married, she says that both she and Bobbie have made those mistakes. Bobbie tells her the S stands for Sonny. This is what Felicia found out? And she went to Atlanta to do it? I was hoping for something we didn’t know. Like the real connection between Nelle and Carly.

Finn slides the offer back. He’s not selling the formula unless it’s on his terms, which means getting it to the people who need it. Pharm guy says with this money he could find all kinds of cures. Finn says that he already did, and doesn’t want it out of his control. Never. Pharm guy writes another offer. Finn makes a hmmm… face, and says that’s a lot of money. He tears the paper in half. The pharm guy leaves his card in case Finn changes his mind.

Hayden wonders why Obrecht gets a vote. Tracy says she probably made herself an alternate during her reign of terror. Tracy says it’s not legal, but Michael says it is. Obrecht says that a privately owned hospital can turn away needy patients. Tracy is glad they’re both concerned with the less fortunate.

Olivia-J tells Julian that the board is going to be voting, and they’ll see if Julian lives or dies. He says she buys GH, then what? She says he’ll see, and that it’s going to be epic.

Alexis calls the police. They take the report, but won’t act on it, and Jason says it’s up to them. He finds a picture on Sam’s phone from inside Olivia-J’s car. Jason says he thinks he knows where it is, and tells Alexis who to contact in the meantime. He tells her that if she needs verification of anything, to call Curtis, and he takes off.

Sam is having contractions. She asks if Scout can wait. She starts to climb again, and has another contraction. She says they’re coming too fast.

Nelle tears the place apart looking for the envelope. She wonders what Bobbie did with it, and says she’d better not have given it to Carly, but thinks Michael or Carly would have said something to her by now.

Sonny tells Griff that Carly is close to the woman he slept with, and thinks she’s the greatest. Griff says if the truth comes out from someone else, that will make it worse. Sonny says he can’t figure out the woman’s game. He tells himself that she won’t say anything, but realizes it’s a huge risk.

Carly says, Nelle is having an affair with Sonny? Bobbie says Felicia found a friend of hers who said she’s involved with her boss’s husband. It’s serious, and she’s terrified that her boss will find out. Let me just stop here and wonder why on earth a friend of Nelle’s would tell Felicia this, when she claimed to be interviewing for a woman of the month story. Carly says Bobbie has never liked Nelle, and seems to have all the answers. Bobbie tells Carly that there were signs. Maybe she didn’t want to see them, but they were there. She says for one thing, Sonny always got weird when talking about Nelle, and warned Michael away from her. Carly says she knows Sonny. He would never do this, and she’s going to prove it.

Finn asks Monica how it’s going, and she says not good. At the meeting, Obrecht says the hospital is going under; it’s inevitable. If it’s going down, she doesn’t want the Quartermaines to have all the power. When she was Chief of Staff, Tracy voted to fire her, and that was a big mistake. She votes in favor of the real estate developer.

Julian gets a message about the vote. Olivia says she won GH and he won a stay of execution. Julian wants to find Sam.

Sam is busy going into labor. She asks Scout to wait, but doesn’t think Scout is listening. Jason arrives at the foot bridge. He calls out to Sam and she hears him. For the love of all that’s holy, Jason, just look down. He keeps calling, but Sam can’t answer.

Carly knocks on Nelle’s door. No answer. She starts to leave, but finds a key under the mat. She lets herself in. Really? She looks around. No Nelle. She says Sonny isn’t interested in Nelle, and doesn’t even like her. She sees the dialogue box about the Sonny file being deleted on Nelle’s laptop.

Sonny tells Griff that he was going to come clean to Carly, but she had the night planned and was so happy. He didn’t want to cause her more pain. Griff says it will be worse if she finds out from someone else. He can’t let that happen.

Nelle finds the envelope. She says everything is going to be okay, and Carly will never know.

Carly ponders why there would be a recording of Sonny, and why it would be deleted. She sees the phone in the wastebasket and wonders what’s on it. She sits on the couch with the laptop and plugs it in. Dammit! She plays the file. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstance is Carly to know that he and Nelle had sex.

Tomorrow, Monica says they’ll know any minute, Bobbie tells Nelle game over, and Jason is still calling for Sam who is a few feet away from him.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana suggests to Tom that Vegas is at the root of Schwartz and Katie’s issues. Tom asks what about the four years before that? Schwartz says he’s done, and doesn’t want to marry Katie.

We flash back to Jax’s big mouth about Schwartz’s dalliance, and Katie says maybe Ariana is right. She says she squelched her feelings, and didn’t want to discuss it to protect Schwartz. Stassi says she wishes she’d known, but it was during the time they were estranged.

Tom claims that Schwartz proposed because of an ultimatum. He thinks maybe Katie should have worked her own stuff out first. Scheana says he must love her, or he wouldn’t have done it. Tom screeches that Schwartz is a battered wife, and to look at him! He flings the door open to Schwartz sitting on the bed still in drag. So is Tom, and they look like something out of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Katie says that she must be the dumbest [sic] woman on the planet, and Jax doesn’t get why Schwartz doesn’t just apologize. He thinks Katie should demand the truth. Schwartz walks in. He calls Katie a bitch, and Stassi tells him to knock it off. He says he wishes cheating really was their problem, and stumbles back out.

Brittany brings up the altercation the night before, and doesn’t like how the guys were discussing Kristen without her being there. Kristen thinks Tom is just creating problems and should stay out of it. Katie talks to Stassi, saying that Schwartz only 20% admitted to cheating. Whatever that means. She felt that she’d put a lot of time into the relationship already, and didn’t want to let it ruin things. In his interview, Jax brings up how Tom keeps saying Schwartz couldn’t have cheated when he was so drunk. He says that when he’s drinking, his brain shuts down, not his other head. I’m guessing this actually depends on several factors, including the individual. Jax thinks this isn’t normal, and that Schwartz should call things off. He says that Schwartz should approach Katie and say they’re supposed to be a team. That sounds like two different things.

Jax asks the girls to clear out, and give Schwartz and Katie privacy, but Katie doesn’t want to talk. She says she’s not ready, and besides, Schwartz is still wearing a dress and sporting a smoky eye. She thinks he’s blackout drunk, and they should revisit things in the morning. Jax explains what happened in Vegas to Brittany, and that Schwartz basically admitted to hooking up. If my memory serves me right, I don’t think Schwartz ever actually said he did anything other than making out. It was Jax who kept assuming he’d had sex.

Stassi tells Schwartz he’s being an a-hole. He says he made out with a chick when he was drunk, and tells Stassi she had a good run with Patrick. Stassi wonders what her choices in men have to do with Schwartz cheating on Katie.

Katie tells someone to close the blinds, reminding me of Kari Wuhrer in Beastmaster 2. Schwartz is still staggering around in his dress. He goes to Jax and Brittany’s room. Ariana wakes up to Tom’s manicure. Tom says that Schwartz and Katie throw tantrums like toddlers, and wake up not even remembering what they were arguing about. Shay dips into some snacks he’s left next to the bed. Scheana thinks everyone should stay sober until the wedding. She tells Shay that it’s a good thing they’re doing a prenup. Scheana isn’t the brightest bulb in the SUR box, but occasionally, she can be the voice of reason.

In her interview, Stassi says Katie and Schwartz have been fighting about the same things for years. We flash back to some of that. She says she’s trying to support them as a couple, but it’s hard.

Lisa arrives at SUR. Cashier, Katie-O (ugh! double Katies now), wants to become a server, and Lisa says she’ll put her through the paces. She likes when people come through the ranks. She gives us several examples, and ends with James, who started as a busser, rose to a server, then a DJ, and then got fired.

Katie calls Lisa, telling her they’ve had some flare-ups. Lisa asks if they’re looking for problems. She says they shouldn’t be fighting now, and that there will be tough times ahead. She tells Katie to patch things up and get the relationship back on track.

Everyone gathers at the pool. Tom passes out shirts with funny names on them that he had made. Schwartz wonders what happened, and everyone wonders where Katie is. In his interview, Schwartz says the worst nightmare of a combined bachelor/bachelorette party has come true, and his best choice is to run away and start fresh somewhere.

Stassi, Katie and Kristen visit Stassi’s childhood home. Her father is putting it on the market, and she wants to see it one last time. She talks about the memories, and how she had so many sleepovers, her father started thinking she was a lesbian. She’s very hungover, and keeps throwing up. Her grandmother is also there, and she says her grandmother is everything she aspires to be, but her grandmother is way nicer. Stassi is getting sentimental, and Grandma says once everything is gone, it’s only a house. I am so down with that, having gone through the selling of my own childhood home when my father died. I’ve always said that once he was gone, it was just a house and no longer a home. They go down Memory Lane. We see some retro photos, and find out that Stassi’s grandmother is the one who named her.

Jax reminds Schwartz of all the things he said the night before, but Schwartz says he was just being cynical. Jax says they can’t afford another blow up. In his interview, Jax says sometimes you have to apologize whether you’re sorry or not. He says his father always tells him happy wife, happy life. Joe Giudice will tell you that too.

Katie says she needs at least twenty more hours of sleep. Stassi thinks the problem isn’t Tequila Katie, but Tequila Tom. Katie says the silver lining is that people finally got to see Schwartz at his worst. Stassi announces that the girls won the weekend.

Lisa goes through some role playing with Katie-O. She says it can be intimidating, but if a server can get past her, they can get past anyone. She says they can make or break a diner’s experience. Katie stumbles through the menu somewhat. Lisa says she has to know it inside out and upside down, and she’s not ready yet.

Katie tells Schwartz that he was coming at everyone last night, and he should just admit he slept with that girl. He says he didn’t. She says she’s not doing this anymore, but he wants to work through it, and wants her to drop the Vegas thing. He says she was a nightmare from the jump, and Katie tells him that he had an option. He put a ring on it, so stop throwing it in her face all the time. Schwartz sprays whipped cream into his mouth straight from the container, and Katie thinks that they should do this later. He takes a shot of vodka, and she suggests that he stop criticizing her and reminding her of every sh*tty thing she’s done. He asks her to stop bringing up Vegas. He says he loves her, and they should just have some fun. These two wear me out, and I’m just watching them on TV.

Katie calls Schwartz a Bridezilla. He wants to salvage the last night. Everyone goes to the bar. More shots! In his interview, Schwartz says heavy drinking tears them apart, but it’s also the glue that brings them back together. It’s a cycle, and a vicious one at times. I could say a lot here, but why bother? They move on to playing spin-the-bottle. In her interview, Scheana says she’s happy she’s married, since this group is crazy about kissing one another. Schwartz says this is his last kiss before getting married, and it’s Tom. Stassi gets Peter, who thinks it’s weird, because they dated briefly. Schwartz says the party should have been like this from the beginning. Peter and Stassi start getting into some serious kissing.

Tom joins Kristen, who is having a smoke outside. She tells him he’s a giant a-hole. She asks why he feels the need to talk to her boyfriend about her past. She says he stepped into the swamp, and she wants to know why he’d talk to Carter about things that happened years ago, adding that Carter knows more than he does. Tom says they were bombarding Schwartz, and Carter came into the situation, talking like he’d been there. Kristen says she’s a different person now. Tom apologizes, and says he doesn’t want to talk about the past, and wants them to be cool. We flash back to their weepy conversation in Miami. He says that book is closed.

Giggy! Harrison! Schnooky! Lisa sips tea and works, while she lounges in bed with the dogs. Ken joins them. She thinks they should do a young restaurant with some young partners. Maybe groom somebody to take the pressure off a bit. She wonders if, with some guidance, Tom might be ready. She says he’s an excellent bartender, and she believes he’s hungry. She and Ken banter. That’s not a euphemism for anything. They have some witty repartee. I have to add that even though he’s usually snoozing while being carried around, Giggy can be quite lively when there is the prospect of food.

A Murphy bed is pulled down in the bar (!), and the gang makes Katie lie on it, demanding that Schwartz give her a lap dance. Jax throws money at them, and Schwartz pulls down his pants. Everyone has a shot. Of booze. Scheana says their relationship is like being on a roller coaster. She hopes they don’t come crashing down when gravity happens.

Back in the girls’ suite, Stassi opens champagne. Tom talks to the guys about his conversation with Kristen. Katie draws on Schwartz’s face as he drifts off into a drunken stupor.

The next morning, Brittany says she feels like death. Jax is wearing a bra insert on his face, thinking it’s something for puffy eyes. Brittany asks him not to post any pictures of himself in drag on social media, since her mother has enough of an issue thinking he’s gay.

Shay tells Scheana that he thinks Schwartz has a lot of built up frustration, and that marriage means a lot of adjustment. He’s so wise, that Shay.

Stassi feels successful for going to NOLA and kissing a guy, even if the guy was Peter. Schwartz is glad he and Katie pulled things together. In his interview, he says any issues they haven’t resolved, they don’t have time for. They’re setting that bottle out to sea. Katie wants to put the wedding train back on the tracks.

Next time, the annual SUR pictures, Scheana feels left out, Stassi goes on a date, and Katie and Schwartz ask Lisa to officiate at the wedding.

🏊 Just a quick note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching when it’s convenient. These people are in their 30s with seriously good jobs – what has happened to the world? While I probably did drink a lot in my 30s, I didn’t behave like I was in middle school (or junior high, if you’re from my neck of the woods). Tonight, the gang got on a party bus with a stripper pole, and as with the proverbial train wreck, I couldn’t turn away. Everyone slinging back booze, publicly displaying various affections, and swinging from the rafters. Or at least from the pole. I have no doubt, had I been privy to the Hamptons during my youth, I would have partied, but Not. Like. This. I can’t even imagine what desperate need for attention would prompt this group to display their immature selves on TV. Isn’t anyone concerned that their boss might see this? I’m both flabbergasted and appalled.

💃 Little Women: LA starts its new season tomorrow, Tuesday at 9 pm. Opposite The Haves and the Have Nots and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Thanks, Lifetime! I really want to catch this season too, since Terra was on Dancing with the Stars. This week is the HAHN finale though, so hopefully this will only be painful the first time.