Tag Archives: television

May 3, 2017 – Tracy Bids Farewell to PC, Carole’s Head Explodes & a Few TV Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Tracy tells someone on the phone to get it done by tomorrow. Dillon asks what’s up tomorrow, and Tracy says she’ll tell him tomorrow. He says she’s focused and energized. She’s made her mind up about something and won’t stop until she gets it. Tracy says her life is off course. Dillon tells her that Larry conned all of them, but Tracy says something happened to her. She fell for Larry’s con and went to the crypt to say good-by to Lila. She tells him about her courtroom hallucination, with Scotty being her attorney and Sonny being the judge. She says that if her bad deeds outweighed the good, she was coming back as the baby Skye Chandler is about to adopt. He asks if doing the right thing gave her a nervous breakdown, but she says she’s finally at peace with herself.

Carly tells Kiki she thought that she and Sonny would find closure about Morgan’s death, but instead they’re getting divorced. Kiki says they clearly love each other, but Carly says sometimes that’s not enough. Kiki tells her that a wise person once said she never hated a man so much that she gave him back his diamonds. Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Sonny gets busy with the strange woman. I get busy with my lunch.

Tracy gets a brunch ready. She tells Monica their guests are about to arrive. Monica is like, nice of you to throw a party in my house, which is a little mean, since Tracy lives there and it’s not like a one-bedroom apartment. The doorbell rings, and it’s Kiki. She asks Dillon if Tracy is okay, since she was nice. Ned says it’s a long story. Tracy says it’s hers to tell when the rest of the guests arrive.

Olivia-F discusses the Nurses Ball with Lucy. Lucy says they have a lot to set up, and thanks Olivia for helping. She says the Nurses Ball sneaks up on her every year. Me too. Olivia says she has to go kiss her mother-in-law’s ring, and leaves for the brunch. Nathan tells Dante that Maxie is on her way home. He says in her absence, he may or may not have created a mess in the house. He hired someone to clean while he splurged on a romantic MetroCourt evening. He says the way she sounded, Port Charles is the last place she wants to be.

Carly and Lulu had planned on discussing a pending convention on The Haunted Star, but Lulu says she just got an SOS from Tracy, and asks if they can reschedule their meeting. Carly says for Tracy, no; for Lulu, yes. Lulu asks how Carly wants the divorce to play out.

It’s morning, and Sonny tells the strange woman that it was unexpected. They introduce themselves. Her name is Martina. Sonny asks if she has any regrets. Martina says she’s a big girl, but does he have any regrets?

Hayden asks Finn why they’re at brunch. He thinks it has something to do with the painting. They discuss the artist. Tracy calls for attention, and says she has an announcement she’ll make when everyone gets there. Olivia-F arrives, but says there’s no food and nearly freaks out. Tracy says there will be after she makes her announcement. Olivia tells her the guests are starving, but Tracy says, my party, my rules. Ned says in the meantime, he has his own announcement, as long as he’s not violating the rules.

Tracy tells him to go ahead. He says they’ll never have to hear Larry Ashton’s name again.

Martina thinks Sonny is getting over something, and hopes it helped. He says it was a welcome distraction from what he has to do today. She says she has a meeting in an hour. They start kissing.

Lulu tells Carly that Dante mentioned she’s planning on keeping Sonny’s assets. She asks if Carly really wants to bleed Sonny dry. Carly says he has all kinds of assets offshore. Lulu says their illegal, and he can’t bring anything into the US. Carly says Jax can’t come into the US either, and if Sonny has to spend time laundering money on some island, he deserves it. He’ll live in the lap of luxury, and gets to take Avery, who she loves, with him. She says that it will force him to rethink his priorities. Lulu says that once Carly goes down this road, she might not be able to come back. Carly doesn’t think there’s anything to come back to.

Lulu goes in the back to get something, and Carly hears a noise. She goes to investigate. It’s Sonny in the stateroom, knocking the phone off the table while in the throes of passion. Carly tries the door. Lulu asks what she’s doing; there are guests in the stateroom. Carly apologizes, and they move on. Carly asks if she should take her rings off, and Lulu tells her not to do it until she’s ready. Carly says Sonny was still wearing his, which surprised her. Lulu says maybe there’s hope after all.

Martina is pressed for time. Sonny asks if she’d like to meet again, but she says she’s just there for a week, and her work will probably take up all the time. Sonny says if they bump into each other again, they’ll see how it goes. She says it’s a deal.

Ned tells everyone he was named after Edward, and he was close to his grandparents growing up. He always had to explain why his last name wasn’t Quartermaine, but Quartermaine is how his mother raised him, and how he thinks of himself; it’s intrinsic to his identity. It falls to him and Dillon to carry on the Quartermaine name, and he’s proud to do so. He shows them a petition that he’s filed to change his name to Edward Lawrence Quartermaine, assuming Tracy approves. She says with all her heart, and hugs him.

Nathan says Portland is the land of opportunity for Maxie, whereas Port Charles isn’t exactly a fashion hub. He leaves to pick her up. Lucy comes back, and tells Dante to hustle. She’s afraid Nathan wants his mother to perform. Lucy says she’s been calling non-stop – although she is talented, but Lucy would never tell her that. Nathan comes back in, and says Maxie isn’t coming home.

Lulu arrives, and Tracy says they can get started. She tells Lulu about Ned’s decision, and then tells the room that she’s now going to attempt to set the record straight. She talks about Edward faking his own death. She tells them about the painting, and how Edward was traveling under the alias of J.L. Holt when he bought it. Tracy explains that he left the painting at a monastery in Turkey, and that the monks were going to sell it, until Larry concocted an elaborate hoax, but Ned stopped him.

Nathan says Maxie was offered something more at the magazine, and it doesn’t sound like she’s coming back any time soon. Lucy gets upset, because Maxie was supposed to help with the costumes. Dante says they can work it out, but Nathan says she’d made the decision without him. He can’t blame her, since she likes the work and is closer to Georgie. Dante says people deal with long-distance relationships all the time. Lucy says she and Doc did it when they were married.

Diane and Carly show up at the divorce hearing first. Diane tells her that Sonny needs his business interests, but Carly says the documents are air-tight. She says when Jax is allowed back in the US, she’ll turn the assets back over. In the meantime, Sonny will be just fine. Diane says he’ll be without his children or her. Carly tells Diane he’s not going to miss her, but Diane says he’ll miss her like a drowning man misses oxygen. She says Sonny is his own worst enemy, and Carly is the only one who’s been able to save him from himself. Every time he falls apart, she’s the only one who can put him back together. Diane says it’s easy to dissolve a marriage, but they’ll never dissolve the relationship. She thinks they should just go into their separate corners for a while. Sonny arrives, and Diane says she thinks they had a breakthrough, but Carly sees that he’s no longer wearing his ring.

Laura is shocked that Samira was working for Larry. Monica absolves Finn from doing the paternity test, but tells him don’t do it again. Laura thanks Ned, and also complements Tracy for wanting to make the sacrifice. Tracy tells everyone about how Laura came with her to Turkey, and about the letter. She says Edward told her he loved her, which may sound simple; however, he was anything but. The letter set her free.

Lucy tells Nathan, on second thought, never mind her and Doc; they’re just one couple, and there are lots of couples who have long-distance relationships. Their break-up was her fault. She realizes she’s not making Nathan feel any better, so she leaves to extract her foot from her mouth. Dante tells Nathan they’re nothing like them. He’s sure Maxie feels the same way, but Nathan says she was quick to stay. Dante says it’s a great opportunity, and she probably feels the marriage can handle it.

Sonny asks if there was a reason why he shouldn’t take his ring off. Carly says no. Guess who her lawyer is. And it’s not Nora. That’s right – Martina.

Tracy tells the group that she’s spent her adult life in and out of Port Charles, and in and out of their lives, but she always came back. She wanted a place there, so she fought, maneuvered, and schemed, but the thing she was chasing was the love expressed in the letter. She tells them that she loves all of them, the people in the room and the people in her heart, but it’s time for her to step out of her father’s shadow and make a life for herself. She can’t do it there. She starts to cry, and says she’s leaving.

Tomorrow, Ned doesn’t believe it, Nathan wonders if there’s room in Maxie’s life for him, and Sonny asks Martina what kind of game she’s playing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

I can’t wait to watch Carole’s head explode.

Carole and her mother are going to Pennsylvania to manipulate get out the vote. Carole says she and her mother have more of a bickering sister relationship. Aww, poor Carole just had a visceral reaction to Trump becoming POTUS. He stands for everything she’s against. Carole has developed such a know-it-all, annoying attitude, people like her are exactly why Trump won.

Ramona goes to the plastic surgeon. She’s getting a laser treatment on her face, since she has a big birthday coming up. She’s in disbelief of her age, since when she looks in the mirror, she sees someone fifteen years younger. Apparently, she avoids looking at her neck.

Carole talks about subsidized housing being a dirty word when she was younger, and how her mother protested the protestors. She discusses her and Adam “shacking up” with her mother. She says she doesn’t regret not having kids, and her mother says that’s okay, she has enough grandchildren. Good woman. My mother-in-law never pressured us, and I think she felt the same way. Carole doesn’t feel the need to introduce her parents to Adam, which I think is kind of odd. Carole gets weirder as this show goes on.

Sonja goes out to dinner with Rocco, a restaurateur she’s known for a long time. She’s torn between him and Frenchie. Rocco is more interested in settling down, whereas Frenchie lives in the moment. She says there’s guys you sleep with and guys you marry, and at present, she’s only sleeping with Frenchie, even though it seems unfair. Rocco asks how many people live at her house, since there are always different people there when he comes over. She tells him how Tinsley didn’t even give her a birthday card. In her interview, Sonja says it’s not the mannered Tinsley she knows. Geez, maybe she just forgot.

Dorinda and Luann meet for shopping. Luann has gotten Tom a Rolex for his birthday, but wants to get him something extra, like a nice tie. They talk about Carole’s election party, and Luann says she’s only involved in the politics of love right now. Dorinda tells her how she’s planning the invitations to Ramona’s surprise party, with Ramona thinking she’s been invited to a different party.

Carole is excited, but wants to throw up. She’s hoping her party will turn into a celebration of the first woman president. She says the election has taken its toll on some friendships, and she’ll be glad to move on. Too bad so many people haven’t moved on, and I’d hazard a guess that Carole is one of them.

Heather from another season has been invited, since she’s a friend of Carole’s. Carole insists that Hillary is going to win. Shock starts to come over her. Dorinda’s late husband worked with Hillary, so she kinda sorta knows her. Omg, Carole is friends with a gay Republican. How did that happen? Bethenny and friends arrive. She says Carole will short circuit if Hillary doesn’t win. I’m laughing already.

Dorinda talks about Ramona’s surprise party, and tries to talk Bethenny into going. Bethenny wishes Ramona a happy birthday, but doesn’t want to go. Carole is getting nervous, but not panicking…yet. <snort> Dorinda is going to cry. Bethenny asks if Carole is all right. Dorinda leaves, wanting to go to bed and have it be a bad dream in the morning. Carole can’t believe what’s happening, and I can barely contain my laughter.

Weepy Carole calls her mother in the morning. She’s stunned, and can’t put words to how she feels. She reads the speech she was going to give. Her mother asks what they do now. Move to Canada? Shoot yourself? Act like a normal person and let life go on? Carole is a dumbass dumbfounded.

Ramona shops for a sexy birthday dress. She tries on something red with zipper detailing. I like it, but think the neckline is too high. Carole joins her. Ramona isn’t holding a grudge, but she’s also not talking to Carole about politics anymore. In her interview, Carole says the two of them shopping in an expensive, exclusive store is why people who live outside of the city think they’re out of touch, so the irony isn’t lost on her. I lived in the city for over 20 years, and I still think they’re out of touch.

They talk about Ramona’s argument with Bethenny. Ramona still tries to justify what she said, and in her interview, Carole thinks she’s off-base. Ramona believes Bethenny is the reason she wasn’t invited to the election party, and Carole tells her that’s not it. Ramona talks about Dorinda’s party invite, and Carole says something about it being a surprise because she’s an idiot. Since Ramona is an even bigger idiot, she doesn’t realize that Carole just let the cat out of the bag.

Tinsley is ready for Ramona’s party. She has on a fabulous beige dress with tiny white flowers appliqued on it, but the invite says LBD, so she goes to change. This just goes to show that people don’t really read things.

The party looks fantastic. Dorinda is picking Ramona up, but she’s running late. Since Ramona has a date after the party she thinks she’s going to, and Dorinda is running late, she calls a cab. Dorinda is afraid she’s not going to show up. Sonja arrives with Tinsley in the proper attire.

Dorinda tells everyone to get ready. The guest of honor arrives, and everyone yells surprise. Ramona starts to cry and falls on the floor in a fit of drama. Dorinda can’t believe she pulled it off. Carole thinks it’s a good thing Ramona doesn’t listen to her. Does anyone? The infamous Harry is there. We flash back to him giving Sonja a ring at some party, and then leaving the party with Luann. In her interview, Sonja says Harry is like the itch she can’t scratch; everywhere she goes, there he is. Ramona calls her date, whose first name she’s forgotten (we find out it’s George), and invites him to the party.

George is incredibly underdressed. Ramona tells him it’s her surprise party, and he asks if he should chill or what? Bleh. And he’s no Brad Pitt. Or even Brad Paisley. Either make the best of it, or go home, George. Luann talks to John. In her interview, she tells us about the Irish good-by, where you leave a party and no one notices. She slips out. Dorinda thinks Bethenny should have done a drive-by. The drinks flow and the food looks incredible.

Ramona and Sonja talk outside on the observation deck. Ramona says she likes that Sonja doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She brings up Bethenny, saying she has no time for superficial crap. She says all she did was ask something out of concern. In her interview, Sonja says it’s amazing how Ramona can spin something. Sonja changes the subject, saying it’s a momentous occasion, after struggling to say the word momentous. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny is holding a grudge.

The cake comes out. According to the candles, Ramona is a tall one-year-old. She thanks everyone for coming, and says she’s totally shocked.

Next time, Carole complains about not having space, a dog drives a car, Luann tries on her wedding dress, and Ramona continues the argument with Bethenny.

👠 Tonight, on Watch What Happens Live, the guests were Ramona Singer and Alex McCord. It was fun to see Alex again – I miss her and Simon. They’re living in Australia now, and it must agree with her, because she looks great. We also got a fun flashback from when Ramona walked off the first reunion because Alex had dared to have nude art photos taken. They’ve made up since then.

🕶 Another fun show that aired tonight was Andy Cohen’s Then and Now. It’s a pop-culture retrospective, and the first episode covered 1997. From Princess Diana‘s death to my beloved Spice Girls, using clips and celebrity interviews. Like with the death of John Kennedy before her, people tend to remember where they were when they heard the news about Diana. Oddly enough, I was watching the Spice Girls, who were on Saturday Night Live that night.

🍑 Just a note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It looks like there’s going to be a lot of crying and screaming and walking off stage in part four of the reunion. The lie about Kandi wanting to drug Porsha and have sex with her comes to a head, with Phaedra admitting that she initiated it. It’s my understanding that Phaedra has gotten the boot from Bravo for this move, and good riddance. That was beyond uncalled for.

 

May 2, 2017 – A Triangle of Chimeras, a Tangle of Lies & a New Boat Launches in the Mediterranean

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna says she knew Valentin would recognize the necklace. She doesn’t remember where she got it, but realizes why she kept it. He asks if it’s a fondness for Greek mythology. She recalls the last time she asked Valentin to steal information – the Chimera Project – and says it went horribly wrong.

Sam wonders if the page of the book was deliberately hidden or the pages were just stuck. Jason says he doesn’t know, but he’s seen the chimera before. It’s freaking him out that he thinks he was meant to see it.

Elizabeth thanks Franco for helping with the boys. She sees the timeline on the table, and the new drawing. She asks what it is, and Franco says it’s nothing good.

Ava bugs Scotty, who tells her that he does have other clients. He doubts Julian is going to make bail. Ava says she’s there for her own needs, and he asks what hole she’s dug for herself this time.

Carly complains about Lucy leaving her hanging about the finalized arrangements for the Nurses Ball. Josslyn drops by the MetroCourt, needing a signature for a field trip. She asks if they’re going to pretend that nothing happened with Jax. Carly says she hates it, but the best they can do is for Josslyn to meet him in Montreal. She’s unhappy about it, but they have to accept it.

Sonny walks in, and Carly tells him to have Diane call her attorney. He says it’s not about the divorce; it’s about Morgan.

Ava says she’s not in any trouble, and Scotty asks for a minute to get over the shock. She says her optimistic viewpoint is starting to pay off, thanks to him and his advice. He thinks maybe he should become a self-help guru. She says that’s a noble idea, and he says it’s also where the money is. She says his assurance that Morgan’s pills won’t come back to haunt her was what did it.

Sonny tells Carly about the pills showing up in the evidence from The Floating Rib robbery. She says the robbers must have been questioned, but Sonny says they made a deal. Carly tells him that it doesn’t make sense. Sonny says that’s what he thought; why would Morgan bring the pills to the bar? She asks why Sonny didn’t tell her sooner, and he says he was waiting for an answer. She says even if Morgan had brought them to the bar, they wouldn’t be there six months later. She wants them analyzed, but Sonny says he already did it, and the results are in.

Sam wonders why Helena would give the book to Elizabeth if she wanted Jason to find it. She doesn’t think they’ll find anything else out tonight, but Jason feels they’re running out of time and have to deal with it now.

Franco tells Elizabeth it looks like a medieval manuscript, but Elizabeth says this wasn’t something Jake studied in school. They don’t want to ask Jake, but Franco says on some level Jake trusts him to help. Elizabeth thanks him for caring, and tells him to go ahead.

Anna tells Valentin that she kept the necklace as a symbol of what might have been. She says it’s an illusion, a dream, a glimmer of hope; something that ended too soon. She wishes she could go back, but Valentin thinks there’s no reason. She says there are moments from that night she cherished. It was magical. She talks about making love in the hotel, but he says when she was in the shower, he found the proof of him being on the kill list. She says it’s was a warning. She says he thinks he knows the whole story, but he’s wrong.

Valentin gives Anna his jacket. She wishes she’d never heard the word chimera or manipulated him out of the secrets. If he believes her or not, she would never have ordered his death. She lit a candle and prayer to Santa Teresa for forgiveness. He says she’s the patron saint of missions. Anna says her regret isn’t losing the secret of the project, but losing him. The necklace reminds her of the hearts she broke that night – his and hers.

Franco gets online and looks up the chimera. He reads the definition to Elizabeth, and she says the picture is exactly like Jake’s drawing. Jason calls. He asks if Jake has ever mentioned a chimera. Elizabeth tells him to come to her place right away.

Scotty wants to go get martinis, but Ava says she has a case for him. She says what’s catastrophic for Sonny is good for her. Carly is no longer on Sonny’s side, and it’s the perfect opportunity to get Avery back.

Sonny tells Carly that everything checks out. Morgan’s death had nothing to do with the pills. Carly says they’re going to find out why he was spiraling out of control. If one of the links in the chain were missing, Morgan would still be alive. Sonny gives her a copy of the lab report. Her phone rings, and she says it’s not a good time, but then says she’ll be there. She tells Sonny the lawyers want them to meet to divide assets. He asks if they can’t do it between them. He says she can take whatever is his. She says she has what’s his already, and plans on keeping it.

Sonny says he didn’t sleep with Nelle, but Carly slept with Jax. He didn’t cheat; she did. He doesn’t want to bring it up in court, but she says go ahead. Everything is hers; he signed it over to her. He says he did it to protect her and the kids; he can’t believe she’s holding it over him. She says she can’t believe he had Jax deported. They start to argue, and Josslyn steps in. She tells Sonny to leave her mother alone. She doesn’t forgive him for anything and can’t wait for the divorce. She says Morgan wouldn’t have forgiven him either. He says maybe not, and leaves.

Scotty says as Ava’s lawyer and friend, relax and enjoy her newfound tranquility. He says Sonny and Carly will always be loyal to each other; when it comes to the kids, they present a united front. She says it might be her chance to get Avery back. He tells her to do nothing and stay alive. She needs to stay away from anything to do with Sonny’s family.

Jason and Sam arrive at Elizabeth’s house. Jason shows Elizabeth the book. He wonders what the significance is. Elizabeth shows them the timeline.

Valentin tells Anna that he’s got to get home to Nina. Anna says she forgot about Nina, bringing my dislike for her up a notch. He wants Anna to go to a doctor, but she won’t, so he suggests driving her home. Where does he keep his car? Isn’t it at his home? Although I guess he’s rich enough to keep another car in Port Charles. He helps Anna off the docks.

Elizabeth tells Jason and Sam about the numbers on the timeline. Sam wonders why Jake would draw the chimera so close to his birthday. Elizabeth and Franco tell them about the birthday trip, and how Jake seemed like he was being told not to go. Sam wonders if it’s just an excuse. Franco thinks they’re running out of time, and Jason agrees.

Valentin says what’s an act of kindness between mortal enemies, and Anna asks if that’s what they are. The car won’t start, and Valentin thinks it’s weird since he just used it. He says he’ll get her an Uber. She says he’s stuck with her for a while longer.

Ava tells Scotty, okay, she’ll table the Avery talk. At least for tonight. He still wants to go for drinks, but she feels like she doesn’t have much to celebrate anymore. He changes her mind, and tells her that she has to buy all the rounds.

Carly tells Josslyn to count to ten and listen. Her divorce has nothing to do with Josslyn. She and Sonny have difficulties, and right now are bringing out the worst in each other, but agree that they love their kids. What he did wasn’t right, but neither one of them want Josslyn to be hurt. They hug.

Sonny goes to The Haunted Star and gets a scotch, telling the bartender to leave the bottle. A woman sitting at the bar says somebody had a bad day. He says he doesn’t like to whine about his problems. She asks if he’d rather drown them in scotch, and says that’s why she’s not married. He asks why she thinks it has to do with his marriage. She says lucky guess. He says it’s over soon anyway, and asks if he can buy her a drink.

Carly suggests that Josslyn stay with her dad for a while. She thinks Josslyn could use some distance. Josslyn doesn’t want Carly to be alone, but Carly says she has Michael on her side. Josslyn says he wants a truce, but she wants Carly to take Sonny for all he has. She says maybe she can spend time in the summer there, and Carly can come with her. Carly says she can come for a couple of weeks, but can’t be there for an extended time. She doesn’t want to use Jax as a crutch; it wouldn’t be fair to any of them. Josslyn asks if she’s going to make up with Sonny, but Carly says it’s over. Josslyn asks why she’s still wearing her ring.

Sonny and the stranger sit at a table. She says she’s visiting from LA. They talk about the beach, and Sonny says that he has interests in the Caribbean. They toast to warm water and white sand. Scotty and Ava walk in. The woman asks Sonny if he surfs, and he says hell no. Neither does she.

Franco says the detail shows that Jake has seen it before. Jason says the obvious conclusion would be that he saw it on the island, but Helena likes misdirection. Sam thinks they need a break. Elizabeth says they can start fresh in the morning, and they agree not to question Jake. Jason says whether he likes it or not, Jake thinks he has a connection with Franco, and tells Franco to do the right thing. After they’re gone, Franco wonders what that was about.

Anna asks Valentin to stay until the Uber comes. She says she doesn’t consider them mortal enemies, and asks him not to shut her out. He thinks it’s better that way. She says for what it’s worth, she’s grateful he didn’t seek revenge and turn the Chimera Project over to the DVX. He says they weren’t the only ones interested, and she asks if he turned it over to someone else.

The woman says boring stuff to Sonny about the beach. Ava tells Scotty that it didn’t take Sonny long to get over his heartbreak. Scotty says he’s getting the car, and tells her to meet him out front. Sonny tells the woman it’s been great chatting, but he has to go. He says the drinks are already paid for. She tells him good night and leaves. He takes his ring off and follows her. What? Have we learned nothing from Nelle? Ava makes a soap opera face.

Carly looks at her ring and wonders why she’s still wearing it. Josslyn returns, and they leave together.

Anna says something must have stopped Valentin, and he says don’t be so sure. If he took it further, she has to know. The Uber arrives, and he says right on time. He helps her out of the car, but she still wants an answer. She mentions that it’s nice he still has the watch, and I wish he’d jump up and down on it already. He leaves her there, and she makes an even better soap opera face than Ava.

Jason thanks Sam for her help. She says she’d do anything for him. She didn’t want to frighten Elizabeth, but whatever Helena did to him and Jake, she thinks it’s all tied together. Jason does too, and thinks the chimera is the key, and Greece is the place to start. He has to go back to Cassadine Island.

Franco says Jason can’t take it back now. Elizabeth says that Jake is important to him and Sam. She suggests they go to bed. Franco says he saw something online that he didn’t want to tell them about. According to legend, the chimera foreshadows disaster. If you were paying attention, I told you this yesterday.

Tomorrow, Nathan is happy that Maxie is coming back, Tracy has an announcement, Sonny gets busy, and Lucy gets the Nurses Ball together. I can’t wait to see how she loses her dress this year. It’s right up there with the Quartermaines having pizza on Thanksgiving. Soap tradition is everything.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left Maxine, the cops were running from Kelly’s house, coughing. It’s gas. An officer says someone left the stove on. Travis and Justice are nowhere to be found. Esperanza tries to get Kelly to calm down.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots returns on June 20.

Peter calls for Alex, who’s in the laundry room, crying. He tells her the police are everywhere outside. Alex thinks it has something to do with her. She tells Peter to take his sister upstairs. She opens the door, and Rick is standing there. He says they’re looking for a lost boy. Esperanza tells her that they can’t find Justice, but Alex says he’s with her, upstairs. And here he is. Kelly asks why he didn’t answer his phone. He says he was talking to Travis, and Kelly tells him to never talk to Travis again, and never get in his car.

Esperanza tells Alex that Travis has been stalking Kelly, and took Justice without telling her. Alex is shocked because Travis has always been nice. Esperanza tells Rick that means nothing. Kelly wants him arrested, and Rick tells her to come to the station. She wants to bring Justice, but Alex promises not to let him out of her sight. Kelly leaves with Rick. I’m hoping Kelly ends up with Rick.

Steven asks Ben if he was in the captain’s office, but he says no. Eddie watches with as much interest as he’s capable of. Steven takes Ben into the office, and asks if he should look at the tape. He knows Pete was using the computer. Pete says he was just looking something up, but Steven doesn’t buy it. He used the captain’s code to log into the FBI website, and Steven wants to know why. Ben says Eddie told him that he works with Steven, and asks if they’re “down.” Steven asks if he wants to be fired, and Ben says do what he has to. Relenting, Ben tells Steven that he was told to find out about Claudia by Eddie. When Steven asks why, he tells him to ask Eddie. Eddie gets called into the office.

Steven asks why he sent Ben to look Claudia up. Eddie says better that Ben get fired than him. At least with Eddie, you know where you’re at. Steven says they have nothing on her, but Eddie insists she’s FBI. He tells Steven that he had a run in with Julius the other day. Julius wanted him to take out three people – Quan, Quan’s mother, and Claudia. He doesn’t know why. He says it’s his in, and he already has one down, even though he had nothing to do with it; Lushion’s son pulled the trigger. He says if he gets the others, Julius will be in debt to him. Steven says they’re loyal until they kill you, but if Eddie gets in with Escada, he wants in too. Ben asks what happened when Eddie comes out, and Eddie calls him a dumbass.

Tyrell calls his mother from prison. She asks if he’s heard from the parole board, but he hasn’t yet. He says he’s calling to tell her to stop giving Kelly a hard time. He says she’s raising their son, and he needs her to be there for him. He says Justice is doing fantastic in school, and Kelly is a good mother. He took this fall for Justice, so let Kelly take her time telling him. Diane says it isn’t fair, and she doesn’t like it. He says she’ll do it when the time is right. Diane agrees to get off of Kelly’s back. He says he’ll be out soon enough.

Randal sees Natalie getting out of a taxi and calls to her. She ignores him. He says he wants to talk to her, and tells her welcome to the neighborhood. She asks what he really wants. He says he wants to apologize, since they haven’t gotten along. She says they never will, and tells him to move along. She doesn’t know, like, or trust him. If he was on fire, she wouldn’t spit on him. He says he thought she’d want to know that Lushion has been cheating on her; he saw Lushion coming out of Alex’s house, and Alex told him they were. Natalie tells him to stop lying, and he says that Alex says the baby is Lushion’s. She says good-by; she’s not listening to him. Good move, but you know it has to be on her mind now.

Randal leaves, and Natalie strides over to Alex’s house. She knocks, and Alex invites her in. Alex asks about Joey, and says they must be moving in soon. Natalie says soon, but she’s not sure exactly when. She asks if Lushion dropped by today, and Alex says he did. Natalie asks why, and Alex asks if she’s been home. Natalie says no, and Alex says that Lushion was just checking on her. Natalie asks how long it took, and Alex says not long. She asks where Brad is, and Alex tells her that he moved out. Natalie says, so it’s just her and the kids, and Alex says yes, asking if everything is okay. Natalie says she’s fine, and she has to get back. Awkward exchange.

Natalie goes back to the new house. She sees Lushion on the porch. She asks if he went to Alex’s house today, and he says no. She keeps asking if he’s sure, and then tells him that Alex said he was. He says oh, yeah, he was. She says Alex told her he was asking about mail and he agrees. Natalie says she doesn’t like being lied to, and asks why he went over there and why he lied. He keeps trying to get her to come in the house, and she asks how many times he’s seen Alex when she wasn’t there. He asks what’s gotten into her. She asks if they’re sleeping together. He says he knows she’s tired, and he’s going to forget that. She asks if that’s because he doesn’t want to lie. She says she’ll go ask Alex herself. He says he’ll be there after she makes a fool of herself.

Natalie goes back to Alex’s house. After finding out the kids are upstairs, she asks Alex if she and Lushion are messing around. Alex asks if Randal told her that, and says she’d told him they were, but they’re not. Natalie asks why she said that, and Alex says she was in a bind. She tells Natalie about the court hearing, and how she had to think of something quickly. She told the judge she doesn’t know who the baby’s father is, and when Randal pointed out the baby is half-Black, she couldn’t think of anyone else. Natalie asks if she has fantasies about Lushion, and Alex says she wouldn’t do that to her. Natalie says she did it to Marcie. Alex says she knows it was wrong, and she’s sorry, but she’s never spent more than three minutes alone with Lushion. He came over to borrow something. She can’t say what; it’s a surprise. Natalie tells her to keep Lushion’s name out of her mouth, and Alex says she will. Natalie says people get hurt talking this kind of crap, and she needs to tell Randal the truth before it gets around. Alex promises she will, and tells Natalie she’s sorry again.

Natalie goes back to the house. Lushion has it all furnished and decorated. She asks if he did this, and he says he’s not talking to her. She apologizes. He says no, and asks if she talked to Alex, and Natalie explains why Alex said what she did. He says Natalie jumped on him because of some lies. She says she asked him a question and he lied. He shows her the candle, and says he wanted it to be a surprise. He says she’d better be glad he loves her. He asks if she likes the place. He tried to find things she had circled in magazines, and she didn’t know he was paying attention. He says they’re not exactly the same; they’re cheaper versions, and she says she loves it. And she loves him. She says she’s sorry, and he’s like, Alex? Please. His phone rings, and Natalie tells him to answer it while she looks around.

It’s Pete. Lushion says his timing is bad. Pete tells him that he was in physical therapy with a kid who got shot. He said the kid knew Lushion, and said that he’d gotten shot because Lushion was a weak officer. Then a bunch of cops came in and took him away for violating probation. Lushion asks what the kid’s name was, and Pete says Joey. Lushion asks when they picked him up, and Pete says about an hour ago, and they were taking him to the infirmary. Pete asks what’s wrong, and Lushion says Joey is his son. Pete says he’s sorry, and Lushion says not as sorry as he’s going to be when he tells Joey’s mother.

Natalie looks around and everything is beautiful. Either Lushion is really gay or had help.

Pete apologizes again, and Lushion says he’s grateful for the information. He goes in one of the bedrooms where Natalie is crying happy tears. She says it’s what she always wanted. Not for her, but for the kids. He says he knows. She wonders if they could get the girls a scholarship for a certain school, and Lushion says maybe they can. She goes into the master bedroom and sits on the bed. She suggests they break it in. He tells her that Joey is in jail, and that they picked him up from the hospital. She says, Lord have mercy, if it ain’t one thing it’s another. Boy, did she get that one correctly. He tells her it’s all right, and they’ll get through it.

Meanwhile, Kelly runs into Diane at the station. Diane says Tyrell could be coming home; they’re making his parole decision. She wants to make sure everything is ready. She has a key, and if he gets out today, she’s bringing him over. Kelly wants her key back. She says Tyrrell isn’t coming to her house. Diane says she can tell him to his face. Kelly goes in to make her statement.

Randal comes to Brad’s office. Bead wants to kick his ass, but Randal says that Brad should hear what he has to say first. He wants to apologize, but Brad says get out. Randal says he’s dropping the lawsuit, and gives him the declaration. Brad starts counting. Randal babbles, saying the baby might be Lushion’s. Brad still counts, and gets up from his chair at nine. Randal says he’s going. Eddie walks in. He asks what the hell Randal is doing there. Brad says he was just about to leave, but Eddie says he’s not going anywhere. The party is just getting started.

Next time, Eddie draws gun on Randal, Lushion has to take a paternity test, and Marcie tells the doctor that Alex is the one who slept with her husband.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We meet the new cast, and I already feel behind. The chief stew is still Hannah, so at least there’s someone I’ll remember.

Destination Croatia; yacht name, Sirocco. Captain Sandy welcomes Hannah aboard. The captain says she’s not a micromanager, but she does observe, and doesn’t want her image tarnished. Captain Sandy does a walk-through with Hannah. The cabinets need massive organization, as things fall out of them when they’re opened. Chef Adam arrives. He lives in a van. Not by the river. He’s a surfer dude, who follows tasty waves.

Bosun Wesley is next. He’ll be Adam’s cabinmate. Captain Sandy tells Adam to come to her with any issues. He asks if she’s the chief stew, and she tells him she’s the captain. She’s used to it, so she isn’t offended. Bobby is also back this season, and he has braces. Stew Lauren has already met Hannah, when Hannah stayed with Bobby in New York and Lauren dated him. Seriously small world. Bobby is hoping things won’t be awkward. Bugsy is the second stew, although her real name is Christine.

Wes and Bobby load stuff onto the yacht, and deckhand Max shows up. He wonders how hard yachting can be. Malia, also a deckhand, rounds out the crew. It turns out Bugs and Wes know each other.

Captain Sandy has a team meeting. She says she’s not an a-hole unless you don’t follow the rules. She’s had every scenario happen to her, including being chased by pirates. She seems pretty cool, but I miss Captain Lee, and hope they do another season with him.

The captain is concerned about the clean up being done in time for charter. The crew gets to know one another while getting the boat ready. Bobby chats up Malia. The captain calls for Wes, Adam, and Hannah. The primary guest is Melissa, and the group is fitness minded. They also want a tribal themed dinner. Adam thinks their food restrictions are bogus, but he’s being paid, so he doesn’t care. Wes tells us that he’s “not the most smartest of people,” and we need subtitles to even understand what he’s saying.

Hannah meets with the stews. Bugs has been a chief stew before, and Lauren grew up in the hospitality industry. Hannah says she works hard, but she’ll always have time for any issues. The captain reminds the crew of their 9 pm curfew. Bobby and Hannah chat, and we flash back to Bobby cursing Hannah out the previous season. The captain insists Hannah get to bed early. She says the reason she’s so successful is that her crew gets rest.

Bobby thinks Wes’s name is Wiz because no one can understand him. The guests arrive. Bobby says they have a bunch of cougars. Now I remember how freaking annoying he is. Captain Sandy says her crew is not only professional, but sexy. Hannah gives the tour. Very nice; lots of beautiful wood with an African theme. I like the simpler décor. Except for the gold bathroom fixtures. There’s no getting away from those. It’s time to shove off.

Bobby says this season he’s here to work, as opposed to last season when his job seemed to be not leaving Julia alone. The crew has lunch in the galley. Chef Adam uses Post-It notes to remember who has what food tolerances. Bugs is into decorating, and the guest table looks awesome. A sea/starfish theme. The guests talk about what they’re going to do while on charter. Adam tells us that Eddie Vedder’s wife once threw a live octopus at him and told him to cook it. He pried it off his arm, and ended up getting a standing ovation for the meal. The guests are served. They think the food is amazing, and it looks amazing. Hannah is getting along with Adam, and hopes he doesn’t have a dark side.

The wind is picking up, and the yacht is dragging anchor. Captain Sandy calls Wes to the bridge, and says the anchor has to be pulled so they don’t crash into the rocks. An alarm keeps going off. The deckhands get the anchors up. The captain explains about the anchorage to the guests, and tells them that they have to head to port, but tomorrow, they can play in the water. Lauren cuts herself, and Adam helps her out. She thinks he’s adorable, and decides to spend more time in the galley. Yeah, they’re always adorable until they become divas. Wes guides the captain in. Great, the guy who can’t talk. They manage to dock safely.

Croatia is absolutely gorgeous! Bobby talks with Max about having dated Lauren. Adam prepares dinner. I want to charter a yacht just to eat the meals. Another beautifully decorated table is presented. One of the guests says it’s like a piece of artwork. Truth! The food is too. Adam sneaks in extra butter. Dinner is a success. A few of the guests stay up for espresso martinis. And then late-night nachos. Hannah tells us that waking up a chef is never fun, and I take her word for it. Adam wonders what happened to the preference sheet when Hannah tells him they want nachos with everything, including meat. Hannah says, I’m a vegan, but my alter-ego is a sixteen-year-old stoner.

The captain tells the guests that they’ll be anchoring if they want to do water sports. Breakfast happens. Bugs is annoyed because Adam wants her to write down the orders, but he thinks it works well for accountability. The crew gets the water toys together, and sets up a picnic on the beach. Captain Sandy says it’s the greenest crew she’s ever had. And she doesn’t mean ecologically. She teaches Malia how to drive the tinder. Hannah thinks it’s not the time to be giving lessons, and gets irritated when she finds out the food is arriving with the guests, since she’d wanted to have it set up first. She doesn’t know whether she’ll last the season.

Speaking of this season, Bobby has a good time, Bobby flirts, Bobby argues with Hannah, on board romance, an overflowing sink, complaining guests, and helium inhalation.

yacht-sirocco

 

 

May 1, 2017 – The Painting Plot is Exposed, Thomas is Losing His Touch & the Chimera

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We revisit Tracy telling the family about her decision to give the painting to Samira. Monica didn’t think she had it in her. Ned tells her not so fast; there’s something she might want to look at first.

Valentin asks Nina when she’ll be done with work, but she doesn’t know. She still hasn’t replaced Maxie yet. She tells him not to wait up. Anna listens in down at the docks. Nathan is out jogging, and startles her.

Elizabeth wonders if something triggered Jake’s subconscious to write his birth date on the timeline, but Franco says maybe they’re just numbers. He doesn’t think they’ve missed any clues.

Sam tells Jason maybe he needs a fresh set of eyes to look at Jake’s book.

Ned thought the conversation with Finn was odd, and Tracy says that it was private. Ned tells them that he picked up the results of the DNA test. Tracy tells Ned thanks for ratting Finn out. Tracy explains how she set up the test because she had reason to believe Samira is Edward’s daughter. Monica tells her it’s an invasion of Samira’s privacy, but Tracy says she won’t mind, especially if the results are what she thinks they are. Tracy opens the envelope.

Valentin kisses Nina. Nelle walks in, and is like, oops! Nina tells Valentin that Nelle is working on a project for her, and she’s indispensable. Valentin leaves, and Nina tells Nelle to follow him, but Nelle says she can’t do that.

Anna says she’s used to seeing Nathan in more clothes, and explains that sometimes her medication makes her loopy: she has good days and bad days. He tells her that the PCPD can breathe easier with Julian off the streets, with Maxie getting fired, it’s not the newlywed bliss he was hoping for. He jogs off, and Anna breaths sigh of relief. Hmm… She actually seems kind of off, so now I’m wondering if, when she went to the WSB to get her memories back, they didn’t do something to her to get at Valentin.

Tracy talks to her father. Dillon explains to Kiki that this is an ongoing occurrence. Monica says when she’s finished communicating with Edward, they’d like to know results. Samira is not Edward’s daughter. Tracy says when Samira gave her Edward’s ring and journal that he gave to her mother, she jumped to conclusions. She apologizes. Samira asks if she’s changed her mind now she knows they’re not related, and Tracy says no. Ned thinks there’s another solution. He’s looked at it from another angle.

Elizabeth wishes there was more time before Jake’s birthday arrives. Franco says that Jake was there for his last birthday, and wonders why Helena would wait that long if she was up to something. I’d like to add that they keep talking like she’s still alive because Helena will never die. Not as long as Constance Towers is alive anyway.

Sam doesn’t see any hidden clues or encrypted messages. She wonders why Helena would give Elizabeth the book, and says maybe Jake just made the whole story up himself.

Ned gets Samira alone. He tells her that she has two options; she can play this out, or take a check for $10K and the visa extension, and figure out her life. She takes the check, and Ned says wise choice. She starts to say something, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He tells her to call an Uber from outside. She asks Ned to tell them she’s sorry, and he says not nearly as sorry as someone else is going to be.

Jason asks Sam why Jake would make all that up. She reminds him of Jake pretending someone broke in the house and was stalking him. Jason says he seems happy that Elizabeth is with Franco, but Sam says maybe he’s looking for attention. She’s not saying he’s a liar or troublemaker, but it’s going to take years to straighten everything out. This is just one hurdle to clear first.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake is going through some terrible feelings, and maybe something was done to him. It doesn’t make him a bad kid or wrong; he needs help. Elizabeth asks if they’ll figure it out, and Franco says they will.

Nelle tells Nina that she hopes Valentin isn’t cheating, but if he is, she doesn’t want to be the one to catch him. Besides the fact that she’s trying to be a decent person, it won’t make Nina feel any better to find out. In her case, there was another side of the story, so maybe there is with him. She asks Nina to find out for herself, and ask Valentin to be honest. She might be surprised.

On the docks, Valentin calls for a boat. He sees Anna faking an injury, and asks if she’s all right.

Ned tells everyone that Samira is happy with the arrangements. Kiki says acquisition fever can make a reasonable, rational person need to acquire. Ned says Kiki has a point. Not about him, but someone obsessed and determined to acquire painting at all costs. The doorbell rings, and he says, here they are now. It’s Larry. When he sees everyone, Larry remembers an engagement, but Ned says he’s not going anywhere until this is settled.

Nina tells Nelle that it’s not the first time she’s been cheated on, and even if he’s only thinking about it, she’s scared he’ll throw away what they’ve built for something that never existed. Nelle tells her again to talk to Valentin. Nina says she did, and got nowhere. She tells Nelle that it will just be between the two of them. She begs Nelle not to make her threaten to fire her. Nathan comes in, and Nina tells Nelle that it’s better for the family and Charlotte if they can be on the same page. Nelle says she’ll give it some serious thought.

Nina tells Nathan that she’s busy, but he can always visit her at Windemere. She asks if he still gets seasick, and he says it’s not the boat; it’s her husband.

Anna tells Valentin that she fell and hurt her ankle. He says it’s not broken, and probably just sprain. He thinks she should get checked out, but she says she’s had enough of doctors. He helps her up. He wonders what had her so deep in thought that she face-planted. She says it was him.

Jason tells Sam that given the alternative, he wishes Jake was seeking attention, but he was obviously terrified when he saw the picture; something he did terrified his son. He has two years not accounted for, and wishes he could prove something. Sam says maybe he can.

Elizabeth tells Jake that since he’s feeling better, maybe he can do some homework, but relents when Jake isn’t very enthusiastic. Franco suggests planning his birthday, and says maybe they can go camping. Jake isn’t receptive to that idea, which puzzles Elizabeth, since he’s always wanted to go. Jake says he doesn’t want to anymore. Franco says they can go anywhere, but Jake says he can’t.

Ned grabs Larry by the arm and tosses him into a chair. Larry says he wants to apologize. Ned says he knew Larry was up to something, but didn’t realize how far he’d go. Tracy is surprised that Samira was a con, and Ned says there was never a kidnapped daughter. She was working for Larry.

Tracy tells Larry not to deny it, and Ned says he has him dead to rights. Larry says it’s not as nefarious as it sounds. He was going to donate some of the profit to charity. Ned explains that Larry gave the monks a large donation, so in return, they gave him Edward’s journal and ring. Then he hired Samira, thinking her blue eyes would make Tracy think they might be related, and left Tracy a trail of breadcrumbs to the monastery. Larry’s face makes me go, HAHAHAHAHA! Best moment with this Larry so far.

Jake wants to include Jason, Sam and the other kids. Franco says they can have a big party, and Elizabeth says there will be two celebrations. Jake says he’ll do his homework now, since his mom won’t let him have a party if he doesn’t do well in school. He takes his homework to his room to concentrate better.

Sam hacks into a database to see when Jason was admitted to hospital. She says if she can’t find it, Spinelli is only a phone call away. Jason says he’s glad she’s on his team.

Nathan tells Nina that he doesn’t feel comfortable dropping by. She asks what’s going on with him, and he says it’s good; he’s staying busy with his job and working out. Nina says he’s missing his wife, and he says she’s killing it in Portland. She wishes were in the same city, but everything else is awesome. He adds that they’ll figure it out. He asks about Charlotte, and Nina says she’s incredible. When he asks about Valentin, Nina tells him that she thinks she’s losing him to Anna.

Valentin puts together a makeshift icepack for Anna. She says he doesn’t have to stay, but he tells her that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly. She says when she thinks of their experience at the WSB, she’s filled with regret. She wishes she could have a do-over, and he asks what would she change? She tells him, everything, then touching his hand, says not everything. UGH! Nelle watches.

Dillon wonders if the monastery knew about Samira, and were part of plan. Ned thinks she was conning them too. Tracy says she had no idea he could be so thorough. Ned says that Larry did a good job, but took it one step too far.

Ned talks about the hymn. We Gather Together was the perfect song to convince them, but Edward once told him that Lila started the tradition. Tracy says Edward would never have taught it to Samira’s mother. Ned tells them that it was Larry who called ICE. Kiki says on top of everything else, they put their butts on line for someone running a con. Tracy says it was all Larry.

Nathan asks Nina why not just bust Valentin, but Nina wants him to be honest with her. Nathan says that he’s bad news, but Nina says he’s just confused about Anna. She doesn’t blame him; it’s weird and strange. When he first came to town, Anna was hell bent on getting something on him and trashing his name, and now it’s like someone flipped a switch. Nathan says that his first advice is to tell her to leave, but she’s not going to take it, so be careful for both her and Charlotte. Charlotte will need a strong role model, and Nina is it. She’s the best thing happen to Valentin, and if he doesn’t know that, he’s not as brilliant as he pretends to be. They hug. Nathan tells Nina to call if she needs him.

Nelle continues to watch Anna and Valentin. Valentin tells Anna there’s no reason to bring up the past. She says it’s their past. He says when she forced herself to sleep with hunchback, and she says it wasn’t like that. He wants to get back home, but she starts playing with her necklace, and he notices it.

Sam thinks she has something. She tells Jason that the records have been amended a few times, but he was admitted in August of 2014. He says for two years he could have been doing things that scared Jake or hurt him, but he has no memory of anything, except for Helena. He tells Sam about the hallucination he had, where Helena said that he’ll never remember what happened to Jake on the island. He wonders how he can recall that. Sam breaks out the liquor, and says maybe it will help. I’m in.

Elizabeth asks if Franco believes Jake. He said, “I can’t,” to the vacation like he wasn’t allowed to. Franco says he shouldn’t have said anything. Elizabeth tells him that she’d feel better if she knew Helena’s plan. Franco says, if she had one. He wonders if they should ask about the numbers, but Elizabeth says he’s too fragile. Franco suddenly says he’s inspired by the light, and they should go to her bedroom. She asks if he’s trying to distract her, but thinks catching the light is a good idea. I’m hoping her bedroom isn’t upstairs where Jake is doing his homework.

Tracy grabs a fireplace poker to whack Larry, but the family stops her. She says that her only reason letting him live is because of their son. If he ever darkens their doorstep again, the Quartermaines are fully capable of covering up a murder. Larry jets, and Ned says, well done; he thinks Larry is finally gone from their lives.

Jake unrolls the timeline.

Dillon says they were suckers, and Ned corrects that to kind, generous people. Larry took advantage of a tragedy, but Tracy still gets to keep painting. Dillon is sorry he called it stupid, and Monica says she can hang it in the den. Tracy says that her father wrote that she’d know best where it should go, and he was right.

Nelle goes to Nina’s office. She tells Nina about finding Valentin on the pier. Nina asks if he was with Anna, but Nelle says he was alone, and he went to Windemere on the launch. She tells Nina that she was overreacting. He loves her, and she has nothing to worry about.

Anna unclasps the necklace, and asks Valentin if it looks familiar. He takes it from her and looks at it. She says it’s a lion with a serpent’s tail, and calls it the Chimera.

Jake starts to draw

Sam pours some tequila, saying maybe Jason will relax enough to have an open mind. And if not, it should still be a lot of fun. I added that last part. Jason spills some of it on the book. He tries to dry it, and calls Sam over. Two pages had been stuck together. He shows her the hidden page, and she says she told him the tequila would loosen something up. It’s a drawing of the Chimera.

Just like the necklace, and just like what Jake is now drawing on the timeline.

Tomorrow, Scotty asks Ava what hole she’s dug for herself, Jason has to deal with something now, and Carly wants it all.

Southern Charm

Patricia struggles to pick up Pug Chauncey. Michael tells her that he’s about four pounds overweight. She thinks he’s underestimating.

Cameran tells us that she went through a white witch phase in high school, died her hair purple, had spell books, and did weird stuff in the woods, but she was still homecoming queen. She and her mom go to her friend Larry’s house, where he makes hoodoo dolls that are supposed to bring good into people’s lives. He asks which one speaks to Cameran, and she picks out Mama Estelle, who’s pretty freaking creepy-looking. She asks about love dolls (no, not that kind), and Larry says he’s been considering making them, but he’s willing to custom make something. She wants it for Shep.

Shep meets Austen for a basketball game. He asks if Austen had any luck at the party. In his interview, Shep says he knows what happened with Chelsea, and knowledge is power. Shep wins 3-0. Geez, for non-smokers, and not that old, these guys are both breathing pretty hard, and it wasn’t that long of a game. Shep says he’s about to hyperventilate, and it’s either it’s a wake-up call or a senior moment. They sit on a bench. He asks Austen if he’s seeing Chelsea. Austen says they’re hanging out, the definition being that they’re planning on doing things together. Shep thinks he should have gotten a heads up. In his interview, Austen thinks it’s absurd to check in with Shep first. Austen says he likes Chelsea’s company. Shep says he does too, but she’s probably not his type. He tells Austen that Chelsea is robbing the cradle like Demi Moore, but I don’t think the age gap is that wide. Austen suggests that if he’s Ashton Kutcher, Shep is Bruce Willis.

Whitney waits for Thomas at a restaurant. He tells the waitress that the friend he’s waiting for is a complete alcoholic, and orders a double-bourbon for him. Thomas arrives, and says he was busy playing Mister Mom. Thomas thinks he’s lost his touch, and he’s just an old man now. He says he used to walk into a bar and own the place, but he’s lost confidence. He tells Whitney that the women who approach him say he has too much baggage, and he scares them off. Whitney tells him to check his baggage, and that he thinks Landon likes him. He asks what’s holding Thomas back, but Thomas gives no definite answer. Whitney thinks he should give Landon a chance.

Kathryn calls Jennifer, who hasn’t heard from her in ages. Kathryn says she’s been busy, but in her interview, says that some interactions between Jennifer and Thomas unsettled her, and they haven’t talked in months. She says that Jennifer knew everything about how she felt regarding Thomas. She asks Jennifer if she wants to meet for lunch. Jennifer asks if she wants to meet now, since she’s in town and has a babysitter. In her interview, Kathryn says she wants some understanding about what happened between Jennifer and Thomas.

The UPS man has visited Craig’s house with several boxes. Craig tells us that he loves sewing, and takes a machine out of one of the boxes. He calls Naomie and tells her about his new toy. She asks what’s wrong with him. He tells her it has an embroidery attachment too.

Jennifer meets Kathryn, and says she was excited to hear from her. She asks what she did to upset or hurt her. Kathryn says the last time she saw Jennifer, Jennifer and Thomas had made up, but she wasn’t aware of it. Jennifer says he apologized, but Kathryn wonders how she can think it’s sincere. She tells Kathryn that she’s tried to prove she’s a good friend, and it was a particular time of need for her; she needed all the love and support she could get. In her interview, Kathryn wonders if it’s more about social climbing, saying that she needs genuine, honest people in her life, and doesn’t think Jennifer is owning up to anything.

Jennifer tells Kathryn about Ascher’s emergency brain surgery and starts to cry. Kathryn is glad he’s okay. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s sympathetic, but thinks everything is fishy right now. Jennifer tries to bring up the friend thing again, but Kathryn tells her to focus on what’s important, her son. Kathryn says she holds no ill feelings, but doesn’t think they’re on the same page. She wishes it had gone differently.

Shep calls his parents in the Hamptons. He tells them about how winded he was playing basketball, and that he made a doctor’s appointment. He thinks his liver might be begging for mercy. In his interview, he says his father had a heart attack at forty, and he just turned thirty-seven. He tells them he’s going to make some changes.

Landon and Austen go to a bar that she’s investigating for her website, Roam. Austen is confused as to what the site is supposed to be about, besides an excuse for going out to eat and drink. Austen tells her about Chelsea, and how Shep told him he broke bro code. Landon says it’s typical Shep; he wasn’t interested until he found out that Austen was. Austen talks about going skiing with Chelsea, and Landon says she knows it’s getting serious when she goes traveling with someone, and you learn a lot about them. In her interview, she tells us that her last three relationships ended when she they went away for the weekend. She talks about Drew, and how he’s nine years older than she is. Austen tells her that he’s working too – he’s researching other beers.

Cameran calls someone about a real estate listing, but she’s too late. It’s under contract. She says she has an interested client, so if anything changes, let her know. She’s trying to find Craig a place, but it’s not going well.

Craig creates an embroidered piece. Cameran calls him to tell him the bad news. He says that he had to take time to crunch the numbers. She says that if he likes something, they have to jump on it, although he shouldn’t be impulsive. He says he’s made the decision to buy a property to turn into a rental, but Cameran doesn’t think he understands the work involved.

Thomas sips bourbon and calls Landon. She tells him she’s going to Phish concert tomorrow. She explains who Phish is (are?), and he’s offended that she thinks he doesn’t know. He says he wanted to make plans for dinner, and she says she’ll be around during the day. He fears the friend zone, but says he’ll call her tomorrow.

Shep goes to the doctor’s office. Since he met the doctor through Thomas, he figures the judgement level will be lower. We flash back to some of his drunker moments. The nurse asks him questions. His average is seven, eight, maybe nine drinks a night. When he finds out a shot counts, it’s twelve. He says it’s similar to how many sexual partners you’ve had: divide by two and add ten. The doctor comes in, and Shep tells him that it’s a precautionary visit. He tells the doctor how he got winded playing basketball, and about his father’s heart attack. The doctor checks him out. He’s also going to run some blood tests, and suggests Shep not drink for a week. He’ll feel better, and it will create momentum for him to stay on track. Um…probably not.

Thomas and Landon go to dinner. Landon asks fifty questions about the liquor. Although I actually understand that, after having had the worst Blood Mary in the world (at Friday’s) and cheap house wine. She asks about last night, and Thomas complains. She tells him to stop trying to score on the weekend; he needs more than that. He asks what she’s looking for, and she says a companion and friend. She’s been seeing someone, but horrors! he’s never been to NYC, and she thinks he must not care what’s going on in the rest of the world. Honestly, I’m can’t even fathom how this woman looks at things. She says she needs a lot from somebody, and wants to get married again and have kids. In his interview, Thomas thinks they’re kindred spirits, but he has to break down Landon’s boundaries.

Craig makes dinner to surprise Naomie. I dunno. Unless he’s leeching off of her, I don’t see why she wants to change anything. Her parents live down the street, and he sets up a beautiful dinner on their patio, which has a great view. In his interview, Craig thinks he’s a good catch, and hopes Naomie feels as lucky as he does. Naomie gets home, and he tells her that he has a surprise, bringing her to the patio. In her interview, she says he can drive her nuts sometimes, but it’s little things like this that remind her why she puts up with him. They sit down to eat.

Craig tells her that he has a lot of projects going on. Naomie says that Cameran was talking to her about him looking at properties. She tells him he can’t do a hundred things at once and do them all well. He says there’s one more thing; he’s starting a clothing line. She tells him he can’t be doing everything that he is, plus a clothing line; the bar has taken him years longer than it should have already. In his interview, he thinks she should be supportive. She says he’s going to screw up his life if he waits until the last minute for everything. He asks if he’s lost anything, and she says not yet. Craig is probably the late-bloomer type of person, who you think is going nowhere, then suddenly, they end up going further in life and making more money than you and all of your friends put together.

Naomie says it isn’t about what he says, but what he does. She asks if he wants to be a lawyer. He says he’ll know when he passes the bar. He doesn’t know if she has a grasp of how he thinks. He keeps trying to talk, but she talks over him. She says whether he wants to be a lawyer or not, just be straight up. He tells her that she’s acting dumb. She says he’s the one talking in circles and not making sense. She says she’s getting up from the table if he doesn’t apologize. He says he didn’t say she’s dumb, but she was acting dumb, which she thinks is the same thing. He says they’re not getting anywhere and he’s done talking about it.

Next time, Shep takes a yoga class (which he compares to a sobriety test), Patricia has a dinner party, Cameran puts a love spell on Shep, and Naomie is done with Craig.

🦁 Wikipedia tells us that the Chimera, also Chimaera (Chimæra); was, according to Greek mythology, a monstrous fire-breathing hybrid creature of Lycia in Asia Minor, composed of the parts of more than one animal. It is usually depicted as a lion, with the head of a goat arising from its back, and a tail that might end with a snake’s head, and was one of the offspring of Typhon and Echidna,and a sibling of such monsters as Cerberus and the Lernaean Hydra.

The term chimera has come to describe any mythical or fictional animal with parts taken from various animals, or to describe anything composed of very disparate parts, or perceived as wildly imaginative, implausible, or dazzling.

The seeing of a Chimera was an omen for disaster.

Maybe not this baby one though…

ChimeraBaby

Chimera

April 30, 2017 – Rumpelstiltskin’s Beginnings & the Amish Return

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

What I missed last week: Zelena tried to fight the Black Fairy, but she didn’t do very well, and Regina suggested that she go back to Oz. In the past, Zelena turned a dude into the Tin Man when he suggested she needed to make friends more than she needed to time travel. In Storybrooke, Emma and Hook’s wedding was in the planning stages, but Emma thought they should postpone it until the Black Fairy was out of the picture. Zelena made up with Regina, who ended up being proud of her when she stopped one of the Black Fairy’s spells, but she still ended up having dinner alone. The gang got the Blue Fairy’s heart started again, but she’s still not awake. She knows the Black Fairy’s darkest secret, so the Black Fairy isn’t very happy. Damn. I guess I am a little wordy as a general rule.

Moving on to tonight.

The Black Fairy (Fiona) is giving birth. It’s a baby with Robert Carlyle’s head on it. Not really, but that would be funny. It’s a boy. The Blue Fairy and Fairy Tiger Lily drop in. Tiger Lily is also the baby’s godmother. They talk about a child known as the Savior.

In Storybrooke, Gold pokes at a dead baby dragon, trying to extract medicine for the Blue Fairy. She breaths it in, but nothing happens. Gold is pissed off, and goes outside, sending a newspaper vending machine flying. Belle tells him to stop it. He says the Black Fairy has Gideon’s heart, and he doesn’t want to lose another son. He feels like it’s their family’s fate to be torn apart. Emma calls them inside. The Blue Fairy is awake.

Hook starts pumping her for information. The Black Fairy appears, and David turns into Gideon. The Black and Blue (ha-ha) Fairies disappear, poof! in a puff of black smoke. Gold tells Gideon that it’s time to get his heart back.

Zelena has given up her magic, and is having trouble putting a piece of baby furniture together. And you definitely need magic for a task like that. She says she’s useless, but Regina tells her that she helped them all by sacrificing her magic. She wonders how she’ll protect her daughter, and Regina has an idea.

Belle tries to find out where Gideon’s heart is, and Emma wants to go after the Black Fairy. Gold asks if Belle trusts him, and she says she trusts he’ll do what’s right for their family. He’s going to Gideon’s dream realm with Emma. He throws some golden glitter in the air, and the three of them – Gold, Gideon, and Emma – fall asleep.

In a dream forest, Gold tells Emma the Black Fairy can’t control the dream realm. They look for Gideon. Gold says he brought Emma with him to stop her from doing anything in Storybrooke before it’s time. They approach a cottage in the woods. Inside, an empty cradle rocks. They hear a lullaby. Gold tells Emma he was born there. She says it’s his dream, not Gideon’s. He says maybe so, but his son is there somewhere.

Back in the day, the Fiona sings to her baby. Fairy Tiger Lily appears. Startled, Fiona draws a sword. She says she hasn’t been able to eat or sleep since finding out that her baby is the Savior. She’s been reading up on fairy lore, and Tiger Lily says it’s their job to protect him, and her job to raise him. Fiona says that motherhood makes you soft and sharp at the same time. Tiger Lily holds the baby. Fiona grabs Tiger Lily’s wand, says some magic words, and turns into a fairy. Tiger Lily says it’s not possible.

In the awake and now, Regina has gotten a car for Zelena. I have no clue about cars, but it’s very cute and retro-looking. Or old and in really good shape. Zelena has never driven anything except a broom. Regina tells her it’s time to drive another kind of stick, and gives Zelena a driving lesson. It doesn’t go well.

Regina tells Zelena that Henry will want to fight to the end in the final battle, but not everyone makes it out. She says he can’t be anywhere near it, and wants Zelena to take him to New York. He can be safe, and start a new life with her. Zelena asks if Regina trusts her to raise Henry, and Regina says she trusts Henry to raise Zelena.

Snow calls Regina from the clocktower. She wants to know what Blue meant about the center of town. Regina says the center of Storybrooke means the heart. Snow says it must be Granny’s. Regina tells Zelena she’ll have to sit this one out.

The Blue Fairy is imprisoned by the Black Fairy. She wants to know where the rest of the wand is. She says there are ways to get information besides Blue talking – and they’re more fun. She produces a bunch of tools that look like archaic medical instruments.

Way back when, Tiger Lily and the Black Fairy check out a baby. Tiger Lily says they’ve looked at a million of them, and none had the crescent scar she’s looking for. The Black Fairy says there’s one out there who’s destined to kill her son, but they haven’t tried everything yet. It won’t be easy, but with Tiger Lily’s help, she can create a new spell. Tiger Lily says it’s forbidden, but the Black Fairy says stop being afraid and help her. She needs to get into the secret fairy vault.

In dreamland, Emma wants to know that Gold is really on her side. He asks if she’s serious. He says his mother never did one thing a mother should. She didn’t even give him a name. He won’t shed a single tear when she’s defeated.

Gideon appears. They hug. Gideon thanks Gold for fighting for him. Gold gets weepy, and asks where the heart is, but Gideon doesn’t know. The Black Fairy has it well-hidden. Gold thinks they’re finished, but Gideon says the secret lies in the reason the Black Fairy gave Gold up. They see a baby in a basket. Gideon says all his answers are inside him, but he has to be willing to face them.

Fast forwarding, Regina and the others tear Granny’s apart, looking for rest of the wand. Hook and David move the jukebox, and find a secret compartment in the floor. Inside is a box with the piece in it. Regina takes it, but Snow asks how they know she isn’t the Black Fairy. They know, because the Black Fairy is suddenly there behind Regina. Regina says she’s not giving the wand up without a fight. The Black Fairy says she’s never killed a queen, and Regina says she’s never killed a fairy. They both disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Out on the street, the Black Fairy tells Regina that she invented this town, but Regina says she doesn’t even have the guts to inflict her own curse. Regina tells her that Zelena got her good, and the Black Fairy zaps Regina. Zelena nearly runs her over, accidentally on purpose, and she disappears, poof! in a cloud of ebony smoke.

In the realm of dreams, Emma tells Gold that it’s all right to be scared. No curse or monster will be as terrifying as finding out why he was abandoned. If he won’t do it for himself, do it for his son; it’s his story too. Gideon says he’s come this far, and Gold says okay. He looks at the baby blanket, and goes back in time.

Fairy Fiona cuddles baby Gold in the secret vault of the fairies. She places him in a basket. She tells Tiger Lily that wolfbane is the last ingredient. Tiger Lily realizes she’s creating a curse, not a spell. Fiona says it will protect her child, but Tiger Lily won’t let her cast it. She’s trying to correct something that will never be. Fiona says she’ll banish him to a land without magic, but Tiger Lily says every other child will end up there. Fiona begs her to reconsider, saying that fairies are supposed to protect children. Tiger Lily says he’s destined to die, so others may live; it’s the fate of the Savior. Fiona steals Tiger Lily’s heart, saying that if she has to destroy his godmother to protect him, she will. At that moment, she turns into the Black Fairy. Tiger Lily says she’ll know the great evil by the crescent it bears, and we see a crescent scar on the Black Fairy’s wrist. Tiger Lily tells her that evil wasn’t born, it was made. The Black Fairy says that she’s the great evil. She and her son are destined to destroy each other.

Gold, Emma and Gideon come back from the dream realm. Regina says now that nap time is over, it’s time for battle. Emma says she doesn’t think it’s her; It’s on Gold. Regina is like whaaa…? Belle asks if it’s true, and Gold says it is. She says all these years she knew he was good, now he knows it too. Gideon asks to help, but Gold days he’s put him in enough danger. He looks at the wand, and says it’s best he faces his mother alone.

Gold wanders around with the wand. The Black Fairy appears. He says the wand was meant to destroy her; as was he. She says he found out. He says in some ways he always knew; he just needed to remember. He was meant to be the Savior, but she left him, because she was afraid he’d kill her. She says he has an answer, but not the answer. She asks to show him what happened.

In the past, Tiger Lily says they can find another way, but the Black Fairy says they tried and failed. The Blue Fairy appears, and says they won’t be crushing any hearts today. Tiger Lily brings out the shears, and tells the Black Fairy to sever her powers. The Black Fairy suggests severing the baby’s destiny instead, and she’ll still be strong enough to protect him. The Blue Fairy tells her that he’s destined to be the Savior, and immobilizes her. The Black Fairy says she’ll get them back, and gets sucked into a gold portal.

Back to the present, Gold asks why she lied. She says she was banished, and it was easier to let him hate her. He says she chose her power over his, and she says she was trying to protect him. He says he’s made the same decision, and knows a lie when he hears it. She sentenced him to a life of cowardice. She says she wanted to protect him. She tells him that the world is a dangerous place, and he says because of villains like you and me. She says if her choice was wrong, she did it out of love. She’s sorry she caused him pain. He asks about Gideon, and she says his pain made him strong. Gold says their family history is dark, and he tried to save Balefire and Gideon. She says he understands she loves him, and they can be a family. She asks if he can forgive her.

Flashing back, the Blue Fairy and Tiger Lily bring the baby to his father. They tell him there was an accident while Fiona was trying to protect their son. He asks how can he raise his son alone? Tiger Lily says by trying. His son needs his father and a name. He says his wife is dead thanks to him. He names the baby Rumpelstiltskin. I’m not sure why this is necessarily a bad thing in a world where there are dwarves named Grumpy and Sneezy.

Moving forward, Gold tells the gang that he’s banishes the Black Fairy for good, and the Blue Fairy is safe and back with her kind. Snow says good, the wedding can happen tomorrow, because being mother-of-the-bride, it’s all she can think about. Emma tells Gold that he did good as Savior. Gold gives Gideon back his heart. Gideon thanks him, and Gold tells him welcome home. Gideon tells Belle he missed her. He apologizes for letting the Black Fairy take control. Gold says he doesn’t have to worry about her ever again and that it’s over now. The Black Fairy will never be a problem for them again.

Belle is proud that he fought for the family, and saved their son. Gold says everything he does is to keep Gideon safe, even though it might not be apparent at the time.

Back home, Hook tells Henry that they’ve been through a lot, but now he’s going to give Henry the most important mission yet: Operation Best Man. For the next 24-hours, Henry has to keep the wedding rings safe. If he doesn’t, his mother will kill him. Emma joins them, and Hook tells her that a seafaring man doesn’t take superstition lightly. He’s leaving for tonight, but tomorrow, Emma will have a hard time getting rid of him.

The Black Fairy asks Gold if they trusted him and believed the heart was hers. He says no one doubts him. She says that he may have been born the Savior, but he adores being the Dark One. Gold says, call it a family trait. He says that Gideon is safe, and has no idea what’s to come. The Black Fairy says, at long last a happy ending for their family. Gold says that in the final battle he may no longer be the Savior, but one still stands, and tomorrow is a special day for Emma – the day she dies.

🎶 Next time, a very special musical episode. Snow wishes on a star, and a spell is cast, making everyone break into song. I could make an un-PC joke about the Fairy Fairy, but, well, there, I did. It’s a wedding special event!

🐎 I spent most of today watching the Return to Amish marathon, airing in preparation for their season premiere that I’m watching right now. It was a great trip down Amish Memory Lane. It’s my understanding that some of it, at least at the beginning, was somewhat contrived. For instance, Abe and Rebecca were already married when they filmed the couple’s wedding. The situations are real though, and it’s never taken away from my enjoyment of the show. Growing up in Ohio, when I was a kid, we made many day trips to “the Amish country” in Pennsylvania, so I also appreciate the scenery. Not to mention the cast going to NYC on a few occasions. What draws me to the show though, isn’t the breaking or returning to Amish. From the jump, the way these kids talked, you knew they were in contact with the outside world. There are also things like “hut parties,” where the young Amish cut loose, and Esther introduced us to an Amish chat line when she was in NYC. This is interesting for sure, but while I’d love for Lisa Vanderpump to adopt me, I’d also like Mary Schmucker to be my grandmother. Second only to LVP, she is my all-time favorite reality cast member. She’s like if you had an old school grandmother who was stellar at knitting afghans and baking pies, but was still a hundred times cooler than you. In the Best. Episode. Ever. Mary beat some college kids at beer pong her first time playing it, and outdrank them. Mary has been shunned by the church (which she explains is not as bad as banished, but not much better), but continues to stand up for herself, telling off the elder (or whatever) who kicked her out of her own father’s funeral. I even checked to see how far Punxsutawney is from me, so I could personally shake Mary’s hand, but it’s a bit of a drive. At present, she’s a genius at selling Tupperware, and I’d love to go to one of her parties. I love how she holds on to her core values, but knows bs when she sees it. Mary is definitely the breakout star of this show.

🔊 Have you ever noticed that the loudest thing in the world is somebody trying to be quiet? Just sayin’.

Mary

April 28, 2017 – Life Vs Tracy & a Quad of Quotes

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 What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Tracy packs, putting photos into a case and talking to them, tossing AJ’s picture aside. She’s hitting the road, and taking the painting with her.

We revisit yesterday’s ending. Ned points out Samira to Officer Stick-in-the-Mud. The officer says she’s in the country illegally, but Ned produces a six-month extension on her visa. He tells the officer that his services are no longer required. Glad I didn’t bother learning his actual name.

Tracy brings roses to the crypt for Lila. She says she’s off to the land of sun and fun, and Samira isn’t even a blip on her radar. She tells Edward that for all his criticism, she’s the last one standing. They should have appreciated her. Who cares if she doesn’t meet arbitrary criteria for being a good person? AJ’s plaque falls off the crypt wall and whacks her in the head. She’s down for the count.

Officer Stick-in-the-Mud checks on the visa extension, and says it came from the highest level of government. Ned says he went to boarding school with someone that’s a high official now. Monica tells the officer that if he bothers them again, she’ll have him checking baggage for the TSA. No doubt a more thankless job than the one he has already.

Ned says that the Quartermaine cutthroat instincts are genetic. Samira asks what’s going on. Ned thinks they should finish the discussion at home. It’s time the situation is resolved, but they can’t do that without his mother.

Scotty tells Tracy it’s show time. There’s no putting it off, and she has to wake up. Suddenly, she’s with him, sitting outside a courtroom. She asks why she’s there. Nathan comes out and says she’s next.  Life vs Tracy Angelica Quartermaine is on the case roster next to the door. She walks in, asking what she’s done, and Diane asks what hasn’t she done? She asks if Tracy’s strategy is bewilderment. Scotty tells her it’s ADD and I laugh. Using a TV screen, Diane shows Tracy how she got hit in the head, and says maybe it will jog her memory. Tracy says that explains it; she’s unconscious, and Diane tells her that she’s dead. She asks what Scotty is doing there, and he tells her not to overthink it. Diane says this is where the newly departed are reviewed, and welcome to her judgement day.

Thus begins Tracy’s this-is-your-life retrospective, done through TV, laptop, tablet and phone screens.

Scotty is to present her good deeds, and Diane, her bad ones. If the good outweighs the bad, she ascends; if not, she’s reincarnated. Diane mentions that Skye Chandler is going to be pregnant soon. <snort> Tracy is concerned about Scotty being her counsel, but he tells her Lorenzo Alcazar was supposed to be poodle, and he got him out of it.

The judge enters. It’s Sonny. He gives a dimply smile from the bench.

Sonny calls the court to order. Tracy demands a mistrial. She says she wasn’t ready to die, and they all laugh. She says the judge is biased. We flash back to when she, Sonny, and I were babies, and she’s trying to get money from him. He talks about what she did to Lois, and how Lois didn’t deserve the shaft. On the bench, Sonny says he forgot about that. We all did. It was like, 30 years ago. Diane tells Tracy that the entirety of her life is going to be evidence. Scotty says Sonny is biased, but Sonny tells him the only other judge available is Anthony Zacchara, and Tracy is suddenly okay with Sonny.

Back in the real world, Kiki tells Dillon she had no idea Ned was a shark. Dillon says he’s a great white, and like a gunslinger who gave it up to be a farmer. Samira sees that the painting is gone. Monica says three guesses who took it.

Diane tells Tracy that she squandered her latest life. She’s incapable of goodness, and must be sent back. Scotty says good is relative. She’s not Heather Webber bad, but compared to her father, she seems fine. Diane says even Edward wasn’t as cruel with his words as Tracy has been. She takes us back to Alan telling Tracy that Monica is fooling around with Ned. Tracy says Alan blames others for not being able to hang on to his wife, when she’s not worth hanging on to. We move on to an argument between Monica and Tracy, see Tracy talking about Jenny to Lila, and insulting various other people. She says, for this she’s risking being Skye Chandler’s baby? Diane says let’s move on to deeds.

Tracy tells Scotty to object, but he says there’s nothing to object to. Tracy says she’s afraid of coming back as a flatworm. Scotty says the prosecution has painted his client as a heartless shrew, and thinks they should move on to her conquests. Tracy says they weren’t all bad, but Diane says her relationships haven’t furthered her personal growth. Scotty says there is a man who has inspired fulfillment and growth in her life, but it sickens him to say the name – Luke Spencer. Diane says he tricked Tracy into a fraudulent marriage, but Tracy says it turned into something else. We see a sweet scene between them, where he tells her that he loves her. Scotty says she had a real, honest love with Luke. Diane says until she couldn’t trust him, and we see Tracy telling Luke to take a hike, calling him a fractured, pathetic loser, who she’ll enjoy seeing beg to get her back. Diane says that was the end of that. Tracy tells Scotty that he’s fired.

Kiki says maybe there’s another explanation for the missing painting. Ned joins them, and asks what Tracy has done now. Dillon says she’s disappeared and taken the painting.

Tracy says that Scotty hung her immortal soul on her romantic interests. She wants Sonny to consider one of the good things she’s done. Saving Luke’s life counts, but she also gave birth to two children. We look back to when Tracy was pregnant. She says Dillon and Ned are proof she did something right. She learned to use her strength to give comfort and guidance to the Quartermaines. Diane says, until she didn’t. We see Tracy and Alan having an altercation. He tells her she’d better not ruin Monica’s party or embarrass them. Tracy asks Diane if she’s kidding. Dinner party shenanigans? Diane says that’s just a warm up. We see Tracy with Jenny in the hospital, and Edward telling her to pack her bags. The original Edward, David Lewis. Next, baby Ned tells her she has a pathetic record as a mother. She’s able to erase the rotten things she’s done to him, and she cares about only one thing in this life – herself. Omg, everyone is so young in these clips.

We see Tracy apologizing for being a disappointment to Lila, who says she never wants Tracy to go through this kind of pain again. Diane says that’s not the worst of it.

Tracy suggests they wrap it up, but Sonny says all the relevant facts have to be presented. Tracy says she runs from this memory every day and doesn’t need to see it. I’ve already guessed what it is. Edward is about to sign his changed will. (I’m right.) He says she’d do anything to get her hands on the trust fund, including go against his direct orders. He tells her that it proves she no longer loves him; if she did to begin with. He says he’s no longer her father. She says that he’s the only one who ever mattered, and he tells her to prove it, but starts to choke. He asks her to get his medication, and she just looks at him. She says then he can live long enough to sign the will; she’ll have to think about it. She tells him that all Quartermaines love each other, but there’s one thing they love more – money. She learned it at his knee – never count on people, only on money. She asks him to tear up the will as he struggles. If he tears it up, she’ll give him the medication. He keels over. Back in the courtroom, Tracy says, enough.

Tracy is alone with a spotlight on her. She says she was selfish and greedy, but then why did her family take her back? She knows she’s done good, and can do more; she can prove it. Don’t send her back as Skye’s baby or a flatworm. Send her back as her.

Ned says Tracy ordered the jet fueled and a flight plan mapped, but he’s canceled the flight. He tells them not to write Tracy off just yet. She could surprise them.

Tracy tells her father that he wins; she gives up. She knows he’s there pulling the strings and having the last word. Judge Sonny was a nice touch. She says he never forgave her, but she never forgave herself either. All she wanted was to please him and make him proud of her. She wonders what her life would have been like if she’d just been herself. Would she have made herself proud? If she only had one last chance…

Tracy opens her eyes in the crypt. She hears something moving in Edwards crypt.

Kiki asks if Tracy has a “find my family” app, and Monica says Tracy doesn’t want her family to find her. Dillon tells them that they don’t need the painting to help Samira; maybe it’s time they spent their money on something worthwhile. Samira says the monks already have buyer for painting. Dillon can’t imagine Tracy coming back with it. Tracy walks in, saying his imagination is in for a surprise. She knows what they’re thinking, and they’re not wrong. She was taking off with the painting, but recent events caused her to reevaluate things. She’s been extraordinarily blessed, and it’s time to use her gifts to help others. She values the painting, but Samira needs it more. Ned asks if she’s sure, and Dillon tells him to shut up; Tracy is having a generous impulse. Tracy says she has to start somewhere, and she’s giving up the painting. Everyone smiles, and hearts are warmed all over Soapland.

This was a wonderful retrospective, and a beautiful (early) send-off for Jane Elliot. I couldn’t help wishing they’d done the same for Anthony Geary when he left so uneventfully. Jane says she’s retiring from acting, and wants to put her energy into some other things, but I’m glad they left the door open. At least I think they did. We still have a few days to go. Her last air date is May 4th.

On Monday, the DNA test results are in, Nelle thinks Nina should be honest and talk to Valentin, and Valentin asks if Anna is all right.

Quotes of the Week

Don’t try so hard to fit in, and certainly don’t try so hard to be different… just try hard to be you. Zendaya Coleman

She’s transitioning. So are we. – a guest on Dr. Phil who is related to a trans woman and has a very valid point.

Being a New Yorker is always knowing where the nearest weapon is. – Me, while watching a woman in jep Lifetime movie

Stay evil, dollface. Spread the word. — Deadshot (Will Smith), Suicide Squad

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April 27, 2017 – ICE Nails Samira, Small Chef Memories & the Debut of John Gray

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason and Jake do some drawing. Jason says Jake is talented and must have gotten it from his mom. Jason puts Jake in a wrestling hold, and Jake says he can’t breathe. Jason tightens the hold. And then wakes up.

Jake has a temperature. Did Elizabeth just say it’s 110? He doesn’t look like he’s in a coma or dead. Franco comes to visit, and Elizabeth sends Jake back upstairs. She says he’s been up all night and doesn’t want to go to school. She’s concerned. She did say 110, so I guess Jake is faking it. Or he’s an incredibly hardy child.

Samira tries to get out of the hospital bed, and Kiki tells her she has to be cleared to leave, and that she can’t help Sadika if she’s sick. Samira asks if Kiki’s ever had someone she’d like to save, and Kiki tells her to get dressed.

Monica tells Laura that Samira will be better when Tracy coughs up the painting.

Tracy talks to her father’s photograph, and tells him that the journal was dry as dust. He seemed lonely; like his life was pointless without his family. She ponders how many hours he spent staring at Lila’s picture, or if he was frolicking with Samira’s mother. She wonders if it was all a set up for the cruelest double-cross of all. Dillon walks in and asks if she’s talking to Edward’s picture.

On the phone, Sonny asks if they can make it sooner. The pills might be the missing link in his son’s death. Ava rings the doorbell.

At the MetroCourt, Diane tells Alexis she’s not being charged. Carly walks out, and Diane says sorry, but Sonny already retained her services for the divorce. She hopes they can come to an equitable agreement. Carly asks Alexis if she’s available, because Carly is waaay out of that loop.

Samira tells Kiki that she has to go back; maybe the brothers will have another idea. She begged Tracy, but she won’t let the painting go. Samira thinks she should offer to take her daughter’s place. Because human traffickers are easy to haggle with.

Dillon asks Tracy if Edward is talking back, and Tracy says he’s wondering when Dillon is going to join the family business. She says there’s no reason to stop sparring with Edward now. Dillon tells her that when she’s ready to talk to a live person, he’s the guy. She asks if he thinks she’s a bad person if she doesn’t give up the painting.

Ava says she has something to talk to Sonny about. She asks if Lucy is shaking him and Carly down for donations. Sonny says she hasn’t bothered him, but he doesn’t know about Carly. Ava says she’d like to discuss Avery’s preschool, and asks if Carly is there.

Diane says she’s sorry for Carly and Sonny’s troubles, but thinks when the smoke clears, they can put it behind them. Carly says Sonny has pushed her too hard, and this time she’s pushing back. Diane says duly noted.

Elizabeth tells Franco about letting Jason know that he thought Jake was afraid of him. She says Jake said that’s not it, but it’s halfway right. Jake is afraid of the man Jason used to be.

Jason says he couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake Sam, so he stayed on the couch. Sam says she could tell something was off; he didn’t even eat dinner. She asks what’s going on, and if it has to do with Jake. He says Jake is afraid of him. Not so much who he is now, but who he used to be.

Sonny tells Ava to let him know what preschool she likes, and he’ll see if they agree. Diane breezes in and says apparently, a storm is brewing. Sonny says Ava was just leaving.

Alexis asks if Carly is sure she wants to do this. Carly tells her about Sonny having Jax deported permanently. He has sensitive information on Jax, and thinks he’s punishing Carly, but he’s really punishing Josslyn. She says he doesn’t care who he hurts, and this time, she’s done. Alexis says she was busy with her downward spiral, but Kristina filled her in, and she’s sorry. She tells Carly that she doesn’t have her license back yet. Carly asks if she can be Alexis’s first client, but Alexis says it could take months. Carly says she’d be willing to wait, but Sonny won’t, so Alexis recommends another lawyer (Nora?).

Kiki tells Samira that she’s taken risks that are stupid, but she’s learned not to act out of fear. She says the Quartermaines are difficult, but they have good hearts and money, and she should give them another chance. Kiki says if Dillon is on her side, she’ll be okay.

Monica tells Laura that only the people who admitted her know Samira is there. She says Tracy has offered to cover the medical expenses, and isn’t that nice? Laura can tell Monica isn’t happy with Tracy, but says since her father died, Tracy has changed. Monica says it’s a big test, and so far, she’s failing. Laura says she has faith that Tracy will do the right thing in the end. Monica tells her not to hold her breath.

Dillon says that Tracy knows how he feels about Samira’s situation, but he also understands how Tracy feels. He says Edward wasn’t there for her when he was alive, so what makes her think he’ll be there for her now? He tells Edwards’s picture that his way of loving sucks, and tells Tracy he’ll always love her, even if she disappoints him. She asks if it would disappoint him if she doesn’t give up the painting. He says it would, but she’s stuck with him. The Quartermaines aren’t he nicest people, and incapable of expressing emotion, but it doesn’t mean they can’t feel love and loyalty. If they stick together, it will be okay. Tracy says that’s what family does. Dillon tells her that their numbers are dwindling, and they can’t afford not to. He leaves, and Tracy smiles at the picture.

Tracy asks if Edward heard that. Dillon won’t kick her to the curb, and is being her support system. Laura appears, saying too bad Samira doesn’t have one. Tracy wonders who keeps letting random people in. Laura says she spoke to Robert, and human trafficking in Turkey is on the rise, especially with refugees. Tracy says that’s not her problem, but Laura asks if it will be if Samira is her sister?

Kiki tells Monica that Samira is getting restless. Monica says who wouldn’t be, waiting on Tracy. Officer Stick-in-the-Mud walks in, and says he needs to talk to Monica; they can have a discussion here or at the station. Kiki asks if he has any paperwork, and Monica explains that he’s there investigating an enemy of the state. He says it’s an expired visa. Monica stands corrected, and gives Kiki the papers to get “the patient” released. Kiki asks if she should call legal counsel, but Monica says no. The officer asks why Monica lied to him. Kiki tells Samira they have to get her out of there stat.

Elizabeth explains to Franco how Jake shut down when they saw the picture. Franco thinks it’s odd, since Jake knows he’s the same person. Elizabeth says he does conceptually, but he’s still a little kid. She tells him that Jason has no memory of the island. Franco says it’s good; it’s a starting point. It’s time to start considering that Jake was traumatized by something he saw or something the old Jason did.

Jason tells Sam about what happened when Jake saw the photo. Sam says Jake is a child who’s seen a lot of trauma and has a lot of challenges. Jason asks what if he hurt Jake? Sam says what if he didn’t, and that it all comes back to Helena. Jason wonders what if it doesn’t? Scout cries, and Sam goes upstairs, leaving Jason to ponder things.

Monica says she didn’t let Officer Stick-in-the-Mud interrupt her busy day to insult her. He says when he first questioned her, she said she didn’t know Samira. Monica says that’s wrong; she said Samira wouldn’t be found in her house, and he calls semantics. She tells him to produce evidence to the contrary or go. He shows her a picture of Samira in her living room.

Kiki asks Dillon if they can take Samira back to the estate, but he doesn’t think she’ll be any safer there.

Laura says that Tracy has turned painting into physical manifestation of her father. Tracy says it meant a lot to have his love and forgiveness. She asks Laura, what if he wasn’t the man she thought he was?

Elizabeth tells Franco that they’re reading a lot between the lines. She says Jason could never hurt a child. Franco says he wasn’t aware of his actions when he planted the bomb on The Haunted Star, and maybe the same thing applies – he wasn’t acting of his own free will. Elizabeth says it won’t help Jake to pursue that avenue. Using soap opera timing, Jake appears and says, help him what?

Jason asks why Jake would be afraid if he hadn’t hurt him. Sam thinks Helena’s attempt to control their lives continues on. She wanted to create chaos and succeeded. Jason wonders what he did. Sam says they can’t change what happened; all they can do is help Jake move forward. Jason wants to know what Helena did to him.

Ava sees Alexis and Carly. Alexis says that’s her cue, and starts to leave. Ava tries to talk to her about Julian, but she’s not having it. Ava asks Carly if it’s too early to have a glass of champagne to toast the divorce.

Diane tells Sonny that Carly is going to make the divorce as miserable as possible. She would have advised against what he did to Jax. He has to remember that Jax is Josslyn’s father, and Carly is going to retaliate. Sonny says Carly can leave with what she came with, and nothing else. Idiot. Diane tells him not to be so sure.

Laura thinks Tracy knew Edward the best, except for Lila. Tracy says what if the man she tried to please was running around on her mother? If Samira is his daughter, the time and energy she put into the relationship was wasted. Either he was a good man with flaws or a callous bastard. Either the painting is declaration of love or the most highly valued thing he gave her. Either way, she’s not giving it up.

Kiki tells Dillon to get scrubs and a wheelchair, and pray they don’t get caught.

Monica asks if the officer was spying. He says a concerned party was worried about Samira’s presence. He’s willing to overlook it if she tells him where Samira is hiding. If not, he’ll have no choice but to arrest her.

Jason tells Sam no offense to Andre, but he doesn’t know Helena’s capabilities. He thinks there’s another way without involving Jake. Maybe the book Helena gave Jake has the answers.

Jake wants pancakes. Elizabeth wonders how he could be into pancakes with a 110 temperature, but goes into the kitchen. Jake asks if Franco wants to color, since he got some new crayons. Franco sees 0705 on the timeline, and asks what it means. Suddenly Jake doesn’t feel good, and goes back upstairs. Franco looks at the timeline and gives us a soap opera face.

Monica says she doesn’t know the woman in the photo. Officer Stick-in-the-Mud says he’ll find Samira, with or without her help. She asks him to come into her office, and he tells her to do the right thing. She wonders what the right thing is, and says she’s getting tired of the witch hunt. In the meantime, Ned comes out of the elevator, running into Dillon and Kiki trying to get Samira out. Monica claims the photo was photoshopped, but the officer tells her she’s under arrest. Ned says that won’t be necessary. He says Samira is right there, and points to her. Monica asks if he knows what he’s done, and he says he does. Not sure what Ned is up to here.

Laura tells Tracy that the painting is just a painting, and if Edward strayed, it doesn’t mean he didn’t love Lila. Tracy says maybe he didn’t deserve Lila, but Laura says he made her happy, and they were a good balance. She tells Tracy that if she wants to honor them, to follow in their footsteps and be compassionate and generous, a legacy to be proud of.

Ava says now that Carly and Sonny are divorcing, Carly is out of Avery’s life. No marriage, no baby Avery. Carly says Avery isn’t one of their irreconcilable differences. They both love her and want what’s best for her. She tells Ava that if she pushes her, she’ll be the one out of Avery’s life.

Diane shows Sonny the trusts he set up when he thought he might go to prison, and the remainder of his assets that he signed over to Carly. He says it was in case he got convicted, but Diane says no provision was made to transfer it back when that didn’t happen. They’re still in Carly’s name. He says he’ll talk to her. She tells him to go easy; Carly holds the cards. He’s the one who may have to live outside the country to avoid federal difficulties.

Carly calls the attorney. She says she’s divorcing her husband, and wants everything. Doesn’t everyone in that position? Good luck with that.

Jason tells Elizabeth that Helena liked riddles and puzzles. He thinks the answer might be in the book. Elizabeth shows him the number on the timeline, and asks if it means anything

Alexis shows up at Sam’s place, and Sam tells her that she and Jason are pursuing different avenues regarding Jake. She thinks she has to go to Cassadine Island, and Alexis is like, no way.

Jason says it could be a date. Franco says that it would be the European way of putting the day before the month. Jason wonders what May 7th means, and Elizabeth says it’s Jake’s birthday.

Tomorrow, a special Tracy retrospective. While telling Edward she’s going off for fun in the sun, Tracy gets clobbered by a plaque falling off the wall in the family crypt.

🍱 Tonight, MasterChef Junior gave us a nostalgic trip through past seasons, so there was everything from astronauts to elves to that cute, tiny girl with the big hair bow. I might have had kids if I could have been guaranteed that one. I love a trip down Memory Lane, and wish I could have paid more attention, but a friend called and I didn’t think I could blow them off by saying I needed to watch things I’d already seen. I might give it another look over the weekend On Demand.

⛪ I checked out an episode of The Book of John Gray (OWN) and really enjoyed it. He’s the associate pastor of Houston’s Lakewood Church, under Pastor Joel Osteen. It was both pleasant and entertaining. John is a very funny guy. It was a nice balance of Gray’s church and home life. Although I may or may not be a steady viewer, it gets a thumbs up from me.

April 26, 2017 – Anna Sets a Trap, Ramona Has a Dinner & a Coupla Returns

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Ava and Kiki have dinner at The Floating Rib. Ava is proud of Kiki turning her life around. She likes the sound of Dr. Jerome, but Kiki tells her not to get ahead of things. Ava suggests Dillon come with them next time. Kiki wonders why Ava is in such a good mood, and what her secret is for getting over a bad experience so quickly. She asks if there’s a magic pill, and Ava says there are no pills that can help or harm her. Which is a really bizarre statement.

Bobbie runs into Sonny at the hospital. She asks if they should address the elephant in the room. He tells her if she has something to say, have at it. She tells him that having Jax arrested and deported was the worst mistake he could have made. Carly is on the warpath, and he has no one to blame except himself. Frankly, I think everyone is getting too old for this nonsense.

Michael discusses business on the phone. Carly brings beer and hot dogs from Josslyn, and tells him she said he’s the only normal person in the family. She also tells him that Jax has left the building.

Nelle wants to put her mistakes behind her. Nina says her job description just expanded; she’s adding covert operations. Nina wants her to spy on Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna that whatever was between them is over, and she owes him nothing. Anna says she owes him her life. I’m hating Anna right now.

Ava asks Kiki about her job. Kiki says she has a lot to learn, but it’s helping with her studies. She feels like she’s doing something that matters. Ava hopes it doesn’t bring back any bad memories. Kiki says she wants to help people who are dealing with the same illness that Morgan did. She says it’s not all work though; they’re gearing up for the Nurses Ball. Ava asks if she’s performing with Dillon again, and reminds Kiki that it was the first time she and Dillon kissed. Kiki talks about Morgan seeing them, and wishes she could have explained. Ava says everything worked out, and Kiki asks if they should pretend Morgan never existed.

Bobbie tells Sonny that his and Carly’s anger doesn’t affect just the two of them, and it especially affects their children. She says it does no good for them to punish each other. She thinks they should take a step back. They love each other and are grieving. Whatever went wrong, the real problem is that they’ve lost Morgan.

Carly tells Michael about Sonny turning Jax in, and how he had to go back home. She says he’s no longer allowed in the country, and she underestimated Sonny. Michael says Jax isn’t helpless. It will take some time, but he’ll reach an agreement and be able to return. In the meantime, Josslyn can meet him in Mexico or Canada. Carly says he’s acting like it’s not a big deal. He says the last thing she should be doing is getting back at Sonny. She says she won’t do anything he doesn’t deserve. Yep. A lotta leeway there.

Nelle thought Nina and Valentin were solid. Nina says he’s complicated, and likes to keep secrets. She just wants to be kept in the loop. Nelle thinks she should talk to him. The worst thing she could do is assume something and have it eat away at her; she’ll do things she’ll regret.

Griff asks Andre for a quick word. He asks if Andre is aware of Anna having blood cancer, and if she’s told him about receiving treatment outside of GH. Andre is surprised, and Griff wonders if Anna is hiding something.

Valentin tells Anna, apology accepted. She says he saved her from serious complications, and she got a diagnosis. She says she pretends she doesn’t have cancer a lot of the time, but discovered that she’s not indestructible. He says it’s not like she has to go through it alone. She tells him that it’s opened her eyes to her own imperfections, and how blind she was to the real him. He asks if it’s the one she didn’t want to kiss or the one she slept with? She says he endured all the operations and pain, so that he was the same on the outside as he’s been on the inside – tall, straight, and strong. Bleh.

Griff tells Andre that he tried to talk to Anna, but she puts walls up. He says it seems like Valentin has shaken her to the core. Lucy interrupts, saying she’s found two of Port Charles’s most eligible bachelors. She asks them to sign up to perform at the Nurses Ball, and they suddenly have other things to do. Lucy asks them to think about it. Andre pushes her out the door, but Lucy accosts Griff in the hallway. She gets a call, and he runs for his life.

Kiki is annoyed, and Ava says she didn’t mean they should forget Morgan; she just doesn’t want Kiki to be sad. She admires Kiki for the work she’s doing. They hug.

Carly tells Michael that she almost said yes to Jax when he asked her to come with him. Michael asks why she didn’t. Taking time away from Port Charles might do her some good, and she could take things slow. He says just because Sonny is spiraling out of control, doesn’t mean she has to. She says she can’t leave him right now. He asks if it’s because he’s in the same town as Nelle. Carly asks why he’s even thinking about Nelle.

Nina tells Nelle she’s right. Getting other people involved will just complicate things. She suggests they have a girl’s night out.

Sonny tells Bobbie that they haven’t been able to put the pieces back together. She says it can be almost impossible to come to terms with a senseless loss. He says that he has questions, and he’s not stopping until he gets answers. Lucy interrupts. She wants to finalize the donation from Sonny. She sees the bottle of pills in his hand, and it startles her. He asks if something is wrong. Please. These bottles all look the same, and Sonny is on medication. Why would this be so surprising?

Kiki tells Ava that next time, dinner will be on her. Ava says she can be whatever she wants to be, including a smash hit at the Nurses Ball. She says it would be fun to see both of their names in the program. Kiki asks if she’s performing, and she explains that she donated a piece of art that’s worth a lot.

Bobbie asks Lucy if something is wrong. Lucy says it just occurred to her that maybe Sonny doesn’t want to go to the Nurses Ball this year. If that’s the case, she apologizes. He says Morgan was named after Stone, and it’s important, so he’ll be doing the usual. Lucy says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Carly says she understands Nelle in a way that Michael never will. She tells him that when she first got to Port Charles, she met Jason. She was a mess, lying and cheating all over the place. You’d think she would have liked having someone who didn’t judge her, but she ended up sleeping with Jason’s best friend. She couldn’t get out of her own way, and the only way to recognize love was to test it. Jason is her best friend, but doesn’t love her the same way anymore. Nelle is like she was. She’ll destroy whatever she loves. She’ll test Michael until she breaks his heart, and she can’t let that happen. He thanks her for the take-out, and she says that’s his way of telling her he’s doing what he wants. She says she’ll never stop being his mom. He says he’s glad to hear it, but probably not.

Anna tries to talk Valentin into a glass of champagne. She quotes Churchill, and Valentin says how can he say no? He wanders around. His phone rings; it’s Nina. She asks where he is. He says his errand turned out to be more complicated than he thought. Anna makes a sound, and Valentin says he’s losing the connection.

Sonny asks Lucy if it can wait, and she says sure. Andre comes by, and Sonny goes off with him. Lucy wonders why they’d be meeting, and Bobbie says it’s none of their business. She says they’re both trying to make sense of Morgan’s death, and Sonny’s not quitting until he gets answers.

Griff sees Kiki and Ava at the restaurant. They make small talk about Kiki’s job. She jets, and Griff says she took the loss of a loved one and made something positive about it. Ava says she didn’t realize Kiki’s surgeon was a priest, and Griff says he tries not to advertise it, since people tend to want to confess.

Sonny tells Andre about the pills. He wants to find out why they were there and who had them, and maybe it will explain more about his death. He wants to know why Morgan went so out of control. He spills the pills onto the desk and says they’re the answer.

Valentin wants to leave, but Anna insists on one toast. She promises there’s nothing in the glass but expensive champagne. She asks if he remembers what they used to say at the Academy, and Valentin says, “Some drink for God and country, but we drink to us.”

Carly runs into Nelle and Nina. She tells Nina that Nelle is still making life uncomfortable for people. Nina says everyone deserves a second chance. Carly says what about the people who Nelle hurt? Nelle says she’ll take a raincheck, but Nina says no. Carly says Nelle didn’t tell her everything.

Anna pours more champagne, and Valentin tells her take it easy, since she’s on blood thinners. She says maybe they can think of it as a new beginning. He starts to leave, and she tries to give him the watch back.

Andre tells Sonny that the number of pills is consistent with Morgan taking them. Sonny said he didn’t think he’d lie in his own diary. Andre says he’d wondered if Morgan was taking something else that reacted badly with the prescribed meds. Sonny says without an autopsy, they can’t know for sure. He wonders if the pharmacy screwed something up. He wants to know why his son died.

Ava says Griff can take the night off; she has nothing to confess. Not that she hasn’t made mistakes. She says she’s sure he’s heard terrible things about her past, and it’s probably true. She quotes the Bible, saying there’s no sin too great to be forgiven, and Griff says he’d be out of a job if there was. He asks if there’s something on her mind.

Lucy wonders what kind of answers Sonny wants. Bobbie asks if it’s entertainment for her. Lucy says she feels horrible, and she gets no pleasure out of the tragedy. She just thought she could help. Bobbie asks if she has a magic wand, and Lucy says what if she did? Kiki interrupts – the theme of the day – and tells Lucy good going, getting Ava to make the sculpture donation.

Ava tells Griff that he came there for ribs, not someone bearing their soul. He says it doesn’t have to be in church. He’s sure there have been plenty of confessions on barstools. She asks if she can buy him a drink and orders two martinis. They sit at the bar.

Sonny thanks Andre. He’s going to send Morgan’s pill to the recommended lab. Andre says he thinks it will give Sonny peace of mind. Sonny doesn’t know if that’s possible, but he’ll settle for justice. In the hallway, Kiki overhears.

Michael talks business on the phone. He says sometimes you have to cut your losses. He looks at Nelle’s number on his phone.

Carly tells Nina that Nelle never actually slept with Sonny. She drugged him and lied. She tells Nina proceed at her own risk.

Valentin tells Anna that he can’t take the watch. Anna says she guesses it was just wishful thinking. She needs to feel that something that is irreparably broken can be fixed. He says if it means that much he’ll take it. She puts it on his wrist and thanks him looking at him all creepy. He leaves, and I wish he’d smash it.

Anna drinks more champagne and smiles. If I don’t find out that Valentin has done something astonishingly awful, she is pure evil.

Nelle says there’s nothing Nina can say that she hasn’t said to herself. She knows she’s not wanted. Nina says that she’s going to take advantage of Nelle’s extracurricular talents. She’s going to spy on Valentin. And knowing him, Nelle had better be damn good at it.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth tells Franco that it’s not Jason who’s scaring Jake, Laura thinks Tracy will do the right thing, and Carly asks Alexis to represent her in the divorce. Um…she has no license.

The Real Housewives of New York City

It’s time for Ramona’s dinner party. Tinsley is nervous to meet Dorinda. She’s worried that if she likes Dorinda, Sonja will be mad at her. Because we’re in middle school. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Tinsley isn’t paying rent to Sonja in Benjamins, but paying in other ways. Tinsley talks about her arrest. Dorinda says there isn’t anyone in the room who hasn’t screwed up. In her interview, Tinsley says she likes to get the elephant out of the room right away.

Carole tells Sonja that she missed a fun dinner – that ended very abruptly – explaining how Ramona brought up Bethenny’s not-that-sordid past, under the guise of being concerned about her daughter. Sonja doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and we flash back to some of Sonja’s stage performances. Luann tells Tinsley how she had a better room when she stayed with Sonja. Luann asks Carole about the election party. Carole thinks Ramona doesn’t really want to come, and I translate that to Carole doesn’t want her to come.

Dinner is served. Dorinda says Ramona is a great cook, but she’s not buying that Ramona cooked what they’re eating. They talk about their housing situations, and in her interview, Sonja talks about how Ramona rescinded her invitation to stay over. Sonja tells Dorinda that she looks gorgeous, and Dorinda responds by telling Sonja to quit talking smack about her. Dorinda tells Sonja to shut her mouth, and calls her private parts The Holland Tunnel. Holy! Luann tells Dorinda to calm down. Carole laughs into her linguine. Ramona was hoping that Dorinda would wait at least until desert, or (God forbid) do it privately. Dorinda brings up the stripper at Luann’s shower, and asks if Sonja had a good time. Tinsley says she doesn’t know the history, and tries to say that Sonja wanted to smooth things over, but Dorinda won’t have it.

Luann decides to jump in, saying a blogger wrote that Sonja wouldn’t be caught dead at her wedding. Sonja says she wouldn’t miss it, but had planned her vacation long ago. Dorinda says you need an invitation to go to a wedding, and you can’t go to something you’re not invited to. In her interview, Carole tells us that this is Dorinda on Diet Coke, and we can just imagine had the martinis been flowing. She says Dorinda has a valid point, but it gets lost in the delivery. Sonja suggests Luann talk to her rather than reading the newspaper.

Some dude tries to stop it from getting out of control by proposing a toast. Carole says may the best woman win the election. Dorinda brings up Sonja having worked for Donald Trump, and starts insulting her about some other things. Tinsley thinks it’s the wrong place to have this conversation, and Dorinda calls Sonja a liar and a fraud, and starts hopping around. She says some oddball stuff, and makes references to Grey Gardens. She leaves the room, and another guest thinks it was mean and unnecessary. Carole brings up that Sonja was quoted in yesterday’s paper, and ties the whole thing to Sonja not being invited to the Berkshires. In her interview, Tinsley says they were both hurt, but she doesn’t think it was as one-sided as Sonja presented it. Bethenny calls Carole. She’s there to pick Carole up, and can hear the screaming all the way to the car. She says she’s like Joe Pesci in Home Alone, sitting in the van, eavesdropping.

Sonja gets up, and Dorinda starts to follow her, but wisely sits down. Tinsley says they’re just yelling and not giving Sonja a chance. In the kitchen, Sonja tells Ramona that Dorinda needs to calm down. Ramona thinks they should hash everything out. Carole asks Bethenny to wait ten minutes. She doesn’t want to stay – it’s literally a nuthouse – but she wants to talk to Ramona. Bethenny say this is the best decision she ever made, and the best party she’s ever attended.

Carole tells Ramona she doesn’t think that she should come to the election party, because she doesn’t want drama. In her interview, Carole says it’s not that Ramona is voting for Trump, but she acts like a know-it-all when she doesn’t know anything. Ramona says they’re a bunch of fakes. Dorinda still won’t shut up about Sonja. Carole sneaks out. Ramona brings out a birthday cake for the November babies, which was supposed to include Bethenny, and Sonja blows out the candles.

Luann hosts a brunch. Candace Bushnell, who was also at Ramona’s dinner, is a guest. I’m wondering how she got caught up with this crowd. Dorinda is feeling relieved, and like she’s given birth. She points out that there are cider donuts. I’d never heard of these before, and a neighbor gave me some last Christmas. They were incredible, and I ate them like they were the last donuts on earth. In her interview, Dorinda says that she’s not a grudge-holder, and life is too short. Apparently not for a ceaseless tirade. Ramona gripes about Carole disinviting her to the party, and thinks Bethenny should have shown up at the dinner. Dorinda says it takes a long time for her to get to that point. There was no gently talking to her.

Sonja and Tinsley walk to Luann’s. In her interview, Sonja thinks Dorinda didn’t mean everything she said, and half of it didn’t make sense. Dorinda talks about a middle-aged woman living in the past being unattractive. Ramona asks if she likes Tinsley, and she says she does. The girls arrive. Dorinda and Sonja hug. Sonja says she feels good because they’ve both gotten out what they need to. In her interview, Tinsley says she guesses this is how they do it. Everyone is happy for the moment.

Luann announces that this is a breakfast/brunch/renovation party, and gives them a  tour of the addition. Sonja says she’s happy for Luann, and tells her to let things slide. In her interview, Luann says she has a hard time believing this will last. Me too. They watch the ducks go by on the water. Tinsley and Luann talk on the deck. Sonja tells Ramona that she was invited to the wedding, and in her interview, Ramona says Sonja likes to make things up. We know. Luann toasts to happiness and friendship, and suggests zipping it when someone comes toward any of them with a microphone.

Back in the city, Tinsley meets Dorinda for dinner. She says it’s been difficult connecting with her old friends. Luann joins them, and she and Dorinda are dressed the same. Dorinda wants to do something special for Ramona’s 60th birthday. We flash back to her birthday lunch last year. She says the biggest problem with planning the party is everyone keeping their mouths shut. I’ll bet. I had lunch with a birthday girl the same day as her surprise party, and I almost said, “See you later,” when we parted company. Tinsley wants to make sure there are no issues with her being friends with Sonja, who she didn’t tell about the dinner. Dorinda thinks she’s brave. She says Sonja can be jealous and holds grudges.

Sonja speaks to Frenchie (Edgar), the new man in her life. They plan to meet in an hour. In her interview, Sonja says he’s smart, romantic and all good things; possibly too good to be true. She goes through her underwear, wondering what’s best to watch a movie in.

Luann talks about planning Tom’s birthday. Tinsley talks about getting arrested, and how it gets expunged from her record after a certain amount of time. Dorinda admits you do crazy things when you’re in love. In her interview, she says that love and hate mixed with jealousy and alcohol is a bad combination. They discuss Tinsley’s mug shot, and toast to reinventing yourself.

Dorinda brings lunch to John at work. She tells us they’ve been dating four and a half years, and they’re happy. We learn that John has lost weight and his blood pressure is down. Dorinda says John is gun-shy, since he doesn’t have a great track record with the ladies. She talks about Hannah moving out. Since she has a rule about not having sleepovers with kids around if you’re not married, this is exciting for John. I usually give John a “bleh,” but he seems almost tolerable.

Carole has two kittens and a dog, all named Baby. Bethenny says the creative juices are flowing, and Carole can write a novel, but can’t come up with three names for her pets. Carole says she and Adam are “shacking up.” Carole doesn’t want to look at it as living together, because it’s too serious. Adam is planning on getting his own place eventually. She asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy, and Bethenny says she’s done; she’s not going on like this. She brings up Ramona talking about her daughter. She says she wishes Ramona well, but she’s hit the wall. Even if she made up with Ramona, they’d just end up in the same place again.

Sonja talks to her assistant about Tinsley seeing her friends more than her. She found out about the dinner, and some other thing, and wonders how to bring it up. Tinsley overhears. In her interview, Tinsley is shocked, since Sonja wanted her to go out with her friends. Tinsley comes in and tells Sonja about hearing what she said. They discuss who is close friends with who. Sonja says don’t make her feel bad, and Tinsley tells Sonja not to make her feel bad. In her interview, Tinsley wonders if because she’s staying in Hannah’s room, Sonja is treating her like a daughter, and telling her what to do. Sonja says it’s just a matter of etiquette, and she should have been invited; she’s hurt, not angry. She brings up her birthday. Tinsley says she gave Sonja a candle, but Sonja says that’s because she’d brought a man home, and that’s a no-no in her daughter’s room. Geez, Tinsley couldn’t even cough up a birthday gift for Sonja?

Next time, Carole’s Ramona-less election party, Carole ruins the surprise, and Ramona tells Sonja that they’re not friends.

🗽 Important news – Million Dollar Listing NYC begins on Thursday, May 29th at 9 pm.

🐎 I also can’t wait for Return to Amish, this Sunday night at 8 pm (TLC). Mary is my all time favorite reality show cast member. Aside from LVP, of course.

 

April 25, 2017 – Nina Gets a Horse, Alex Lies About Lushion & a Beverly Hills Farewell

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Michael plays pool by himself. Lulu and Dante walk in, and Michael tells them about Jax being released. He says Nelle did something good for Jax, but it doesn’t absolve her. Lulu says as bad as it was, it takes two, and Michael asks if Nelle didn’t tell them. Lulu says she can tell them herself right now, since she just walked in.

Valentin is looking for his watch. It’s in Nina’s hand. Listening in, Anna tells her to mind her own business, raising my blood pressure by 100 points, since she should be minding her own business and Nina is married to Valentin, so it is her business.

Tracy tells Ned that the only option is for Samira to leave. Or wait for immigration to come with a warrant. Samira says she’s not leaving without the painting. It’s the only way to save her daughter.

Finn runs into Hayden. He asks if they can make it not awkward. Griff comes along, and says Finn’s test came back positive. Because Brad had his grubby little hands on it. He doesn’t say that last part, but we know it.

Nina wonders why Valentin needed another watch. He says he used to do questionable things for money, and now he has money to buy questionable things. He says he indulged himself, but he’d rather indulge her. He’s bought her a horse. They go to the stables, and the watch gets left on the table. Poor Anna. She can’t listen in. I’m just devastated.

Griff tells Finn it’s not specific, but it’s some form of opiate. Finn says that’s impossible, but Griff says they ran it twice. Finn wonders if there’s still a trace of Zen-Zen in his system. He says the test needs to be repeated, but he thinks it’s a mistake. Griff says next time it had better show a decrease, and under no circumstances is he to treat patients. When Griff leaves, Hayden asks if Finn has been using.

Tracy says she’s just trying to help. Samira says she can’t leave without the painting. Laura says it’s more than a reminder of Tracy’s father, and has the power to save a life. What if she was in Samira’s shoes? She didn’t even know it existed a few months ago, and the real connection is the letter. Tracy wonders how she’d get it out of the country – it’s bound to bring attention to the expired visa. Samira says Tracy isn’t going to change her mind, and leaves the room. Ned thinks it requires further investigation. Laura wonders if Samira turns out to be Tracy’s sister, if she’ll change her mind, or does she want her out of sight before that happens?

Finn tells Hayden that he knows he’s an addict. If he uses again, he’ll lose everything. He wants to get out of the hole he’s dug for himself, and get everyone’s respect back. Hayden asks why he’s sweating, and he tells her that he did a workout on his lunch break. He says a way to cope with addiction is to distract oneself, and she can talk to Felix, who was there with him. She asks why the test came back positive, but Finn doesn’t know. Hayden asks him to promise he’s playing by the rules, and he says not exactly.

Michael approaches Nelle, and asks her to talk to Dante. At the table, Lulu says Nelle is crazy about Michael. She says unfortunately, she likes Nelle, and thinks Michael was into her before the thing happened with Sonny. Dante says they’re not in the loop, and don’t know what happened. Lulu suggests he take his detective hat off and they enjoy the evening.

Nina loves her horse; she’d always wanted one of her own. She says that Lumière is the perfect name. Valentin tells her that its a horse of a different rare color. Nina says that Lumière defies light and glows, and Valentin says that she does too. They start to kiss, and pervert Anna has no shame. Her doorbell rings. It’s Griff.

Griff asks why Anna hasn’t returned his calls or texts. She didn’t show up for a phlebotomy, and she has no idea how dangerous that is. He wants her to go right now, but she tells him to wait. She says she’s fine, and Griff says she’s not super human. He explains how it can cause a blood clot. He threatens to call Robin. She says she doesn’t want them to intervene; she’s already had her treatment. She decided to go to a private facility. GH is too public, with everyone being so concerned. It’s lovely in theory, but she doesn’t want the fuss. He says left to her own devices, she could skip a treatment. She asks him to respect her wishes and privacy. He tells her that blood cancer is nothing to be remiss about, and he’s also worried about her and Valentin. She says that Valentin’s accusations were right; she was very cruel to him. Griff says it doesn’t sound like her, and she says they all have their pasts. He asks what’s next between them.

Nina says she wants to go riding, but Valentin wants to change her mind.

Lulu and Dante sit at a table. Lulu says that they’re celebrating how well her first visit with Charlotte went, and asks Dante to put police business aside. Nelle tells Michael he could have her arrested. Lulu interrupts, and asks how Nelle’s new job is going. Nelle says that Charlotte loved the Easter egg hunt and seeing the bunny. Lulu is glad they had a chance to bond.

Dante talks to the bartender. He tells him about the pills, and wonders how they got there. He asks if the bartender had seen them, but he says no.

Finn tells Hayden that it has nothing to do with drugs. He had a friend come to him with a problem, and he offered to help. She asks what Tracy wanted. He says he could get in trouble, but it was important to the one friend he has. At least if he gets in trouble, it won’t be for drugs.

Laura says she knows who Tracy is deep down, and she’s better than this. Tracy says it hasn’t been proven yet, but Laura tells her to just do the right thing. Ned comes in with Samira, and says he’s making phone calls to see if there’s something else he can do. He asks Tracy to take her somewhere safe that’s close by, but Samira collapses.

Lulu tells Dante about Charlotte loving their visit. He says good, now she doesn’t have to pull any tricks with Valentin. She admits she was considering having Nelle spy on her, or involve Michael.

Michael tells Nelle that it sucks being the prize in a custody war. Nelle asks how he knows, and he tells her about several over him. He says he spent a lot of time being shuttled back and forth, knowing the people he loved were angry because of him. Nelle wonders if he could explain it to Charlotte. Or maybe not. She says if he wants to talk to Dante, do it now, because she doesn’t like the threat hanging over her.

Hayden brings up Finn saying she was a gold-digger, but he doesn’t remember saying it. He says she changed, showing compassion and love when he needed it, and he’s going to change too. He knows he has a long way to go, but he’s working on it. He talks about when they first met, and tells her that she’s succeeded. He will too, but it won’t be easy. Maybe she can see he’s on the right path to being the man she can trust.

Tracy comes into the hospital with Samira. Finn directs them to an examining room. He says he can’t help her, but Tracy says it’s an emergency. Finn asks a nurse to get her vitals. Tracy asks if he’ll treat Samira.

Anna tells Griff that she and Valentin made a truce. Griff says that Valentin doesn’t seem like the forgiving type. He doesn’t trust Valentin, and doesn’t think she should. Finn calls, and tells Griff that it’s an emergency. He says she has an expired visa and immigration is after her, and maybe Griff can help. Griff tells Anna he has to go, but they’ll have dinner another time. As soon as he’s gone, she schedules the phlebotomy that she didn’t really get.

Valentin tells Nina he loves her and she transformed his life. She’s made him happier than he deserves to be. He was a bad man who did bad things. He never really changed until Charlotte came along. Nina says that she hasn’t been a nice person either. He says her choices were made out of pain. He just wants her and Charlotte to be happy. He’s sorry about the whole business with Anna, and apologizes. Nina says she loves the horse, but all he has to do is be honest with her.

Anna listens in. Nina says she has to give Valentin honesty in return. She says the Anna thing bothered her. He says that Anna’s past is as dingy as his own, and she offered a truce. Nina says the truth is, if you suspect cheating and it turns out to be true, it’s hard to trust again. She wonders if it’s something that will be with her forever, and says Jealousy makes people do crazy things. She doesn’t want to go backwards and give into herself because of Anna He says Anna isn’t a threat to them, and ominous Anna says they’ll see about that. Valentin suggests they go to the bedroom. Nina wants to ride first, and suggests they have dinner in bed. He says he has to run an errand, but will be back by dinner.

Anna calls Valentin when Nina leaves. He asks what she wants. She asks if it’s a bad time, and he says actually he needs to see her. She says she needs to see him too, and he says he’s on his way.

Michael tells Nelle it was up to his dad to talk to Dante, so she’s off the hook. He says he knows she wasn’t completely at fault, but he feels worst for Avery and Josslyn. She says she never meant to hurt them, and he tells her that revenge is like an explosion; you don’t know where it will hit. She says he’s never going to forgive her, and he says he doesn’t know. Her takeout food comes, and he says maybe someday he can forgive her. She leaves.

Lulu tells Dante that she was going to give Michael a nudge, but now she doesn’t have to. Dante says he can’t believe she’d use his brother for her personal gain, and she says it was her mom’s idea.

Griff gets to the hospital, and Finn tells Laura she’s in good hands. He tells Tracy that Samira could just be dehydrated and stressed. She asks about the DNA test, and he says it could be tonight or a few days. Ned pops out of nowhere, and asks Tracy what that was about.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s impressed he didn’t break his agreement. He says he’s trying. She says she sees that, and sees who he is when not under the influence. She’s going to give them time. He says that’s all he asks. She says it’s a deal.

Tracy tells Ned she’s just worried about Samira. He wonders why she cares so much so soon; it’s not like her. He says Edward is where she’s most vulnerable. He thinks the painting is key. Laura asks Tracy if she’s okay. She says not until she gets the test back, and that might not be for days.

Lulu tells Dante that Nelle screwed up, but might do better if someone believes in her.

Nina looks for Valentin, but he’s not there. She thinks back to when she found Anna in the living room with him. She says, please don’t be with Anna. Nelle tells her that Charlotte isn’t in her room, and Nina apologizes, telling Nelle that Charlotte is at a sleepover. Nelle says she has a book she wants to finish, a spy thriller, her favorite genre. Nina asks for a favor. She wants Nelle to put her love for spy thrillers to good use. She’d like Nelle to spy on someone.

Anna’s doorbell rings. Guess who? She invites Valentin in, and thanks him for coming. He says he’s just come to return the watch. I think she’s trying to smile romantically at him, but only succeeds in looking insane IMO. He says whatever was between them is over. She takes his hand and gives him another creepy smile.

Tomorrow, Nelle asks who Nina wants her to spy on, Sonny talks to Bobbie, and Carly says she won’t do anything that Sonny doesn’t deserve. Well, that sure leaves it open.

If Loving You is Wrong

I hope Officer Rick is going to be a thing. I’m starting to like him.

Alex is walking the kids home from school and they see Randal. He wants to talk to her, but she says she has to get the kids to bed. They remind her 3 pm is too early for bed. Well, that depends. She sends them inside, and Alex tells Randal to never bring them into it again. He tells her that jail might be safer for her now, after Natalie finds out she’s sleeping with Lushion. She tells him he’s mental. Randal asks if it’s Lushion’s baby, and she says wouldn’t he like to know? He says three men is a lot even for a pro ho like her. Although I would think that if you were a pro, that wouldn’t be very many. She tells him it’s four, and she’s not sure who the baby’s father is. He asks if she’s sleeping with Lushion, and she says yes. Why, Alex, why? Why get Lushion in trouble when he’s one of the few decent guys on this show? (Just in case you’re a new viewer, she’s lying. Lushion would never do such a thing.)

Randal calls Alex a slut, and she thanks him. He asks where they did it and she says mostly in the police car. She tells him to go ahead and tell Natalie. He wonders who she is, and she says she asks herself the same question every time she sees him. He regrets having met her, and she says finally, something they can agree on. He says he’ll make sure every day of her life is a living hell, which actually might be an improvement. She tells him to run along and start preparing. He suggests she sent her parents there to kill him. She’s like, sorry, sorry that they didn’t succeed. He says he sees a little, abused girl trying to be a woman. She tells him he must know that some of those women have sexual issues and she’s one of them. She wants it wherever and whenever she can get it. He tells her to shut up, and she says he’s the one who wanted to analyze her. She says he’s not as good as he thought. He says she loved every minute, and she says she kind of misses it. He tells her to hold on to the memory and she laughs. She teases him, talking about how she remembers when she’s alone at night. That’s when she calls Lushion and he makes her forget all about Randal. He says she’s lying. She asks if he got a good look at the baby, and that he looks just like Lushion. Randal says if the test comes back and the baby isn’t his, she’ll see what happens.

She asks if he wants her. She says she’s wearing the perfume he likes. She asks him to tell her. He says he doesn’t want her and hates her. She says that’s good because she hates him too. She suggests they meet in the shed. Randal says she’s up to something. She says not as much as him.

Eddie nearly runs them over. He jumps out of his truck, and starts screaming at the both of them. Alex’s kids come out, and she says everything is fine and to go back in. She tells them that Eddie lost control of his truck. Paisley says he was probably texting and driving. Surprisingly, Eddie holds it together, and tells them to get inside. He says Alex isn’t going anywhere until they talk. He asks what she’s doing, and says that the blonde dye has soaked into her head. He says he’s telling Brad, and she says go ahead. He wants to talk about the murder she committed. She’s like, huh? She says she didn’t kill anyone; she went to her parents to tell them to lay off of Randal. She had nothing to do with it, and she isn’t an accessory. He wonders who’s been training her on how to speak. He asks if Lushion has been talking to her about Andrew. She says she has nothing to do with that, and Eddie says she ran him over. We both go, what? Eddie claims he’s trying to help her, and she wonders when that’s ever happened. Eddie says Andrew has been missing since she ran him over. Alex asks what he wants. He says nothing, but if she keeps telling tall tales, it’s going to be a bad day, like it’s not already. He tells her Andrew is dead, and she says she didn’t do it. She asks why they haven’t found him, and Eddie says anything could have drug him into the swamp. He tells her to keep telling herself lies, but they both know the truth.

Kelly gets a call from her ex, Tyrell (I finally caught his name). He asks what’s wrong, and she says nothing, but he’s not buying it. She asks how he is, and he says he knows something is wrong for sure now. Kelly says it’s his mother. She came by asking for a key, but she wants to talk to Justice first. Tyrell understands, but Kelly says his mother didn’t. He says he’ll talk to her, but Kelly thinks it will just make her angrier. He says she just loves her baby boy, and Kelly says she loves hers too. He asks if she loves him too. She says Justice just got off the bus (a mother’s equivalent of saying there’s something on the stove), and asks if he can call her back. He tells her he loves her, and to give his love to Justice. He doesn’t seem awful. What’s up with that mother? Kelly calls Justice’s phone.

Lushion calls Natalie, asking where she is. She tells him she’s at work, but she’s on the way. She tells him that Mr. Kim came by the hospital and said he was sorry. He also offered Joey a job. He was glad Joey was there to protect Faun. She asks what’s wrong, and Lushion tells her to hurry up and get there. He says there’s a problem they need to solve, and he’ll tell her when she gets there.

Marcie comes to Brad’s office. She wonders if he’s been ignoring her calls, but he says he’s been swamped. She was thinking about what he said about Alex, and she’s going to stop. She has one condition – Alex needs to stop taunting her. She’s vague about how Alex is doing that, but says if Alex leaves her alone, she’ll leave Alex alone. He says he’ll mention it, and Marcie asks if he’s talking to Alex. He says no, but when Marcie says he’s thinking about it, he says maybe. She asks what that means for them, and he says they already talked about it. She says she’s not ready to give him up, and he tells her that she’s all over the place. She says she needs him. He says he’ll send her the rent. She says it’s not that. She has big decisions to make, and needs someone she trusts to help her through it.

Marcie sits on Brad’s lap. She tells him she cares about him, appreciates him, and really loves him. He says he loves her too, and they kiss. What is up with this? She wants him to know she’ll always love him whether they end up together or not, and he says he feels the same way. He wants her to get up, but she doesn’t want to, so he tickles her. He says her stomach is different. She says thanks, she just ate lunch. He wonders if she’s pregnant by him, but she says they both know that’s not possible. He says that would certainly get the town talking, and she says it would be the ultimate pay-back. She asks if he wants a child with her, but he says not in this situation. She asks if it would be that bad, and Brad says she’s scaring him. He says he’s going to be late. Marcie asks if he’s going to see Alex, and he says maybe. Marcie leaves, and Brad is like, whew!

Randal’s doorbell rings. It’s a woman who’s come to do the DNA test. She makes small talk about his house while she sets up the test. She tells him he has a lot of muscles, and he says she’s hot as hell. She says she used to compete. Seriously, would someone who does in-home DNA tests have this kind of conversation? She says they’re going to do both a swab and blood test. He asks what she’s doing later, and she tells him she’s having dinner with her wife and their kids. He asks if she’s a lesbian, and she says she doesn’t like labels. I roll my eyes at the both of them. She says even if she was into guys, she wouldn’t be into one who denies his kid. He says that’s not it; he wants custody. She says good for him; he’s one of the good guys. If she only knew. He wonders why she’s not testing anyone else. He tells her that Lushion was one of his ex’s partners, and he just lives down the block. She says she’ll get on it. She leaves while Randal flexes his muscles. He says she thinks she’s gay, but not when he’s done with her. Randal has reached a new low.

Esperanza and Rick are trying to track down Justice. They have the judge issuing warrants, but Rick says if the phone battery has been taken out, they can’t trace it. He asks if Kelly might have set this up. Esperanza says she wouldn’t do that, but Rick says that Travis tells a different story and has proof. He says that Travis has a text message, and Esperanza tells him that he’s acting like a rookie; she can vouch for Kelly. Rick asks why Kelly didn’t file a restraining order, and Esperanza says she did. He says only Travis has one on file, and there’s back up.  Esperanza tells him to just do his job. She calls Kelly, and tells her to relax and let the police handle things. Kelly is borderline hysterical, and Esperanza asks why she didn’t file the restraining order. Kelly thinks Esperanza is accusing her of being responsible for the kidnapping, and says that the lawyer didn’t call her back. Esperanza asks for the lawyer’s information. She tells Kelly to hold on.

Esperanza calls the lawyer, but he’s not in. She finds out that he’s at church. She asks what one, and thanks them. She tells Kelly that the lawyer isn’t returning her calls because he’s a member of Travis’s church. She gives the phone to Rick. He asks if Kelly heard anything in the background, but she didn’t. He says there’s an APB out, and asks if Travis would hurt Justice or where he might take him. Kelly doesn’t know. Esperanza says they’re sending someone to the church. Kelly says she can’t just sit there. Rick gets a check on Justice’s phone and jets. Kelly tells Esperanza that she’s coming to the station.

Everyone arrives at Kelly’s house at the same time – Kelly, Esperanza, and the police. Esperanza holds Kelly back while the police go in with guns drawn, but they come back out. They’re all coughing and waving their hands.

Next time, Brad threatens to kick Randal’s ass, Randal talks to Natalie, and Eddie says the party is just gettin’ started.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion, Part Three

We go back to the bunny. Kim never gave it to her grandson, and because it wasn’t given to her with the “right energy,” she gives it back to LisaR, who ends up leaving the stage. Kyle thinks Kim should explain how superstitious she is to Lisa, and Kim takes the roving bunny with her backstage.

She runs into LisaR, who’s coming back out. Lisa says it’s the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to her, and Kim is a sick woman. I agree that it’s pretty bad, and I don’t even like Lisa. Eileen comes back on stage and says it doesn’t look good. Kyle says nobody wants the bunny, but Andy does, for the clubhouse. He’s the worst.

LisaR strides back to the reunion circle, and says it was cruel and mean. Kim tries to justify her actions, and Lisa has an f-off sound effect thing, and keeps pushing the button on it. Kim says she was going to do it before, but she figured they’d both be at the reunion. So yeah, why not do it on national TV instead of in private? Lisa says she’s a sick woman, and Kim says she feels the same way about Lisa. Lisa says Kim wants to be on the show, and she’s her meal ticket, which is where she goes totally wrong. Even I think that’s stupid. Not that it excuses Kim’s behavior. Lisa accuses Kyle of condoning every rotten thing that Kim has done, and Kyle says it’s not like she has control over her, and she’s not apologizing for anything her sister does.

Dorit tells LisaR that she has a big mouth, and Lisa tells her to shut up, causing a moment of silence. Dorit tells Lisa that she goes for the jugular, and like usual when she can’t form real words, Lisa says that Dorit does too. Lisa says she speaks her truth, and Kyle says that doesn’t make it okay. She put Kyle in the worst position, when they’d never even had a fight. Lisa says she’s apologized. Lisa says Kyle says mean things about her lips, and I can’t believe that’s’ the best she can come up with. Andy moves on.

A viewer suggests the only reason Eden went after Kyle and Kim, is that she wanted to create a storyline for herself. Eden says she wasn’t the one who said those things, but agreed with it because of her own past. It was something she recognized and projected onto them.

Omg I can’t believe it. We go back to when the earth cooled, in the limousine, where Kyle talked about how Mauricio supported Kim like a second wife, because a viewer has asked if that wasn’t enabling. Kyle says that she believes enabling is turning a blind eye to the situation, and that’s never been the case with her. She has a wing of hair sticking out, and it’s all I can look at.

A viewer asks if LisaV thinks LisaR was acting when she said she didn’t remember saying anything about Kim and Kyle. Because LisaV knows all. LisaV says if she’d said something like that, she’d remember. Dorit says LisaR crucified her for not remembering a five-minute conversation. LisaR tells her to shut up again, and then says sorry. Another viewer asks Kyle if she thought LisaR really forgot. Lisa keeps repeating that she really didn’t remember. Eileen says that what Lisa said was wrong, but game night got weird because of Kim. We flash back, but I don’t see it that way. Eileen babbles, and tells Kim not to be rude, because she has something to say. She says Kim inserted herself in a conversation where she didn’t belong, and she has no idea what she’s talking about. I’m not sure Eileen knows what she’s talking about. I also hate how she hammers questions at someone, then talks over them when they try to answer. Eileen tells Kim that just because she’s obnoxious, doesn’t mean she’s right. She says that Kim attacked her and LisaR. LisaV says that what LisaR said was incredibly damaging, and LisaR says she apologized. She hasn’t said anything about Kim since, and thought they’d made amends. We flash back, and it looks that way to me. LisaR says it she sees that it’s not going to work, but that’s okay. She’s moved on.

And we’re moving on to the bag o’ pills. We flash back to LisaR saying she put Xanax in smoothies, pulling out her plastic bag, and Dorit repeating the story. Then telephone gets played with Eden, and we come full circle to the confrontations on the boat and the Hong Kong dinner. LisaR always comes off as crazy as a loon to me. Kyle acts like Eden started it. I get distracted by Dorit’s dress, because it has tiny chains hanging all over it. I love it so much. Dorit explains why she asked Eden about LisaR, and says she didn’t say that Lisa had a Xanax problem; LisaR created the story. LisaR says Dorit “makes her head crazy.” I have the feeling that doesn’t take much.

LisaR insists that Dorit kept talking about it. Lisa pulls out the bag of pills, and Andy asks what’s in there. It’s nothing exciting. Lisa says she takes Benadryl is for acid reflux, and I’ve never heard of such a thing. She tells Andy that she’s never really put Xanax in a smoothie, and Andy says she could use one. Erika says when you say sh*t, it becomes bigger than it is. She says it doesn’t make anybody look good; they’re all in the same boat, and she doesn’t understand why it keeps happening.

Andy asks about the coke thing. LisaR says she was just being honest. Dorit says she’s a mom, and Lisa went there for no reason. Lisa says it’s what she observed, and Dorit says she said it to hurt her. Kyle says she would have flipped out if it had been said about her. Andy asks why did everyone get up and where did they go? I find out the guy who got stuck at the table with Lisa is Elliot Mince. Lisa says that Dorit was told she needed a touch up, and everyone disappeared. I’m thinking they wanted to get away from Lisa, and maybe Elliot is deaf. Dorit says she doesn’t know what happened. It could have been a number of things, none of which is what Lisa insinuated. Andy asks if there were drugs at her party, and Dorit says of course not, it’s ridiculous. He asks if Lisa’s personality is induced in any way, and Lisa says she’s 100% Lisa.

Andy almost gets Kim and Eden off the stage, but Eileen interrupts, saying that Kim looks down on her because she’s a soap actress. Kim says she doesn’t, but she thinks Eileen is exaggerating things, and reality TV is different. Eileen asks if Kim has seen herself. Kim says she’s dramatic, but it’s real life drama. Eileen says she doesn’t talk about Kim that way. Kim repeats that this is real life, and Eileen says bye-bye, rude, bye-bye Kim, which makes her look pretty immature. Kim brings up Eileen’s support of LisaR, and Eileen says she thought it might have something to do with that. LisaV suggests that Eileen is supportive when LisaR is wrong, but Eileen and LisaR won’t hear of it.

Eden and Kim finally exit. LisaR claims she needs a Xanax, and walks offstage. What did Erika just say? She’s doing it to herself.

We go down LisaV Memory Lane. We go over her work for the dogs, and I try not to get all emotional. I love Lisa all over again. We also flash back to Max’s search for his birth parents. Andy asks how Lisa came to terms with that. She says that she felt more vulnerable in the beginning. She tells Andy that they found Max’s mother. Andy asks if he’s going to meet her, and Lisa thinks he should. He says he wants to thank her. She says if she was younger, she might feel threatened, because he could be taken away, but it’s still emotional. She says she wants to create a buffer in case it doesn’t work out the way they’re hoping. We move on to the condo that Lisa gave Max. A viewer wonders why she got it for him, since she promotes her kids making it on their own. She says that he’s a good kid who holds down a job, has been on his own for years, and asks for nothing, so she just wanted to do it. Seriously, I wouldn’t take up much space in her house if she wants to adopt me.

Andy talks about the dog meat trade, and asks if China has acknowledged our fight against it. Lisa says what’s important is to get the word out. Taiwan did recently outlaw the dog and cat meat trade, which is definitely progress, but it was before this was filmed. Eileen says she’s done a great thing, and Lisa thanks everyone for being supportive.

A viewer accuses LisaV of replacing Giggy with a younger, furrier Harrison. Lisa says Harrison was very needy and she probably over compensated, but the Gigster still reigns, and they’re best friends. Andy asks if it’s like Menudo at her house, and all of us laugh. We see an interview with Giggy. Too cute for words. Giggy!

We see LisaR’s nude selfie from Instagram. Thanks. Harry didn’t even know about it, but her daughters made her take it down. We look back on family time at Lisa’s house. They discuss Delilah’s new modeling career, and Lisa says Amelia is right on her heels. Andy stupidly wonders if it was awkward when Delilah did the same show as Gigi Hadid. Lisa says not at all, and talks about how lovely Gigi is and that Yolanda did a wonderful job. We find out that Harry watches all of the shows. She says he tells her she just can’t help herself, and she gets it from all sides.

Andy asks if there are any regrets. LisaR says she’ll never talk about Kim again. He asks Eileen what she has to say to her critics, and she says she always comes from a good place. Dorit says she wouldn’t have given Erika the underwear, and she’s learned about how it goes when something gets out there. Kyle says new people shift the dynamics, but she thinks they’re all good people, and it was a good experience. Andy asks LisaV what she’d do if someone tried to steal the crown, and Lisa says let them have it, adding that she’s had good relationships this season. I’m sure anything beats Brandi. Andy says that Erika revealed more than she had possibly planned on revealing, and Erika says no regrets. She hopes people see that she’s like everyone else inside. Andy brings up how she said everyone needs a little Erika Jayne, and asks who needs it the most. Erika says they all need triple-shots right now.

This helps Andy segue to the smoothie toast he’s prepared, and he asks LisaR for the bunny. She gives it to him for the clubhouse (where it was the bartender, as well as the secret word tonight). The smoothies have umbrellas in them. Andy says long live The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and everyone clinks glasses. Lisa says it’s better with a Xanax.

The end…for now.

April 24, 2017 – Tracy has an Idea, Shep has a Birthday & Patricia has a Pet Caftan Line

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis asks Julian to wait. Like he has a choice, since he’s being moved out in shackles.

Ned doesn’t want Olivia to go it alone, but she says he’ll be there in spirit.

Samira stares at the painting. Ned tells her they can only cover for her for so long. She wants to leave immediately, with the painting, but Ned thinks Tracy might object to that. No offense to this girl, but unless she’s leaving something out of her story (which no doubt she is), why on earth would she think Tracy owes her a $20 million painting?

On the phone at the hospital, Tracy says she needs the result of the DNA test now. Laura pops out of nowhere, and asks what DNA test?

Jason asks if Jake recognizes a picture in the photo album. Jake looks disturbed, and Jason says that it’s a picture of him before his accident. He asks if Jake remembers what he looked like then, and Jake says he does.

Jax wants Carly and Josslyn to move to Australia where they can be a family.

Jordan tells them to take Julian back to his cell. She asks Alexis what’s going on, and Alexis says they were just surprised to see each other. Diane arrives, and Jordan says she just missed Julian. She asks if Alexis is ready to make her statement. Diane wants to confer with Alexis in private first, but Alexis just wants to get it over with. Jordan wonders why Diane is there, since it’s just a statement. She wants to know what happened while the details are fresh. Diane’s suit is to die for. Black and white with zipper detailing. All suits should look like this.

In the interrogation room, Jordan starts the recording. Jordan asks Alexis if she recognizes her own scarf, and if it was found at the location where Julian kidnapped her. Alexis says she wasn’t kidnapped, giving Diane apoplexy.

Samira wonders where Tracy is, and asks Ned if he thinks Tracy is avoiding her.

Laura tells Tracy that she was there for a board meeting that Tracy missed, and Tracy says she can’t be everywhere at once. Laura asks if the test has something to do with Samira. Tracy drags her by her elbow into a more private area, and makes her swear she won’t say anything. She explains about Samira giving her the journal and signet ring, and how Samira said that Edward had given them to her mother. She says that along with Samira’s blue eyes, and Laura finishes that she thinks Edward might be Samira’s father. Laura asks what Samira thinks, and Tracy tells Laura how she got the DNA and gave it to Finn. Laura says she shouldn’t be going behind Samira’s back. Tracy says she doesn’t want to get Samira’s hopes up, since it’s a remote idea. She says Finn will confirm it, and she can put her ridiculous speculations behind her. Laura says she seems nervous.

Elizabeth tells Jason that it never bothered Jake before. Jason asks why it bothers him now. Jake says it doesn’t, and they both say that he can tell him anything. He says it bothers him because of the witch.

Carly tells Jax that she can’t go. Jax asks why not. He tells her to pack for a few days, and they’ll send for the rest later. She says it’s sudden. Jax says Sonny pushing the issue has done them a favor. Maybe it’s fate’s way of saying it’s their time to be together for keeps. He still loves her. She says she loves him too. He asks if it’s like she used to, and maybe it’s closer to the surface than she thinks. She says it’s complicated. She knows who’s to blame for all this mess. Jax says they’ve been through a lot of messes, and they still end up in each other’s orbit. They’re connected, and bring out the best in each other. They make more sense when they’re together. He thinks their lives can be greater together than being apart.

Jax thinks that after everything that happened with Morgan, the best thing is for Carly to leave Port Charles. She says It’s tempting, but Josslyn isn’t her only family. He says Michael can visit, but she says she feels close to Morgan in Port Charles. His grave marker helps her talk to him. Jax says she’ll take his memories wherever she goes; she can never break their connection. She says it’s not the same.

Laura says that Tracy just found out her father loves her, and then Samira shows up wanting the painting. Tracy tells Laura that just because she’s dating a psychiatrist, doesn’t mean she can shrink Tracy’s head. They decide to go back to the estate. Laura says until Tracy finds out if it’s positive, she can make peace with the fact that she might have a sister. Tracy corrects that to half-sister.

Samira asks Ned if Tracy will still refuse her. Ned thinks she’s made up her mind. Samira asks how she can convince her, and shows Ned a picture of her daughter, Sadika. She says her daughter needs her.

Olivia-F visits Julian. He asks if she’s there to gloat. She tells him about the engagement, and he says he’s happy for them, but wonders what else she has to say. She says what they’ve decided affects him as well.

Diane says Julian admitted it, but Jordan says they’re getting the victim’s point-of-view. Diane wants a moment alone with her client, but Jordan says she hasn’t not committed a crime. She asks if Alexis made an arrangement to meet Julian, and when Alexis says no, Diane thanks God for small favors. Alexis says Julian surprised her, but she went with him of her own free will. Jordan asks if Julian didn’t try to kill her at the docks, and why would she go voluntarily? Alexis says she was trying to convince him to turn himself in, but hadn’t made much headway before the police arrived. Jordan figures they were there an hour, and I’ll refrain from any jokes. Jordan thinks there’s something Alexis isn’t telling her. Alexis thinks about getting busy with Julian, and says there is.

Alexis tells Jordan that there was some confusion as to why she was there, and one officer thought she was an accomplice. Julian was worried, so he said he’d taken her hostage. She says it was his idea at the spur of the moment. Jordan asks why she waited to say anything, and Alexis says everything happened fast. She repeats that Julian didn’t take her hostage. She asks Jordan since he charges will be dropped, is the case against him still as strong?

Julian asks Olivia how their getting married affects him. She says he’s probably going to prison for a long time, and Leo isn’t going to know him. She’s not bringing him to visit. She says she wants Ned to adopt Leo, and Julian says, absolutely not.

Ned tells Samira that her daughter has the same blue eyes that she does. Samira tells him about a song she used to sing to her daughter in English, and starts to sing We Gather Together, possibly because they want me to cry. Tracy and Laura walk in. Tracy is stunned.

Carly tells Jax that the only reason Nelle is still in Port Charles is to get her claws into Michael. She doesn’t know how he became so trusting, considering how he was raised, and Jax suggests that it’s his form of rebellion. Carly says that if she stays, she can get in his face about it. Jax says that her staying isn’t going to influence him. Michael is either going to forgive Nelle or not, but it’s up to him; she can’t dictate his life. He thinks what’s stopping her is Sonny.

Elizabeth changes the subject, but then asks if Jake wants to talk about the witch. He says he doesn’t. Jason tells him that’s fine, but no witch is going to hurt him; he’s safe with them. He asks to go to his room. When he goes upstairs, Elizabeth asks what made Jason think of the picture? Jason says that’s how he looked when he worked for Helena.

Jordan says she can’t comment on the case. Diane asks if Alexis is done and free to go, and Jordan hopes she’s not obstructing justice. Jordan says Alexis should listen – Diane is trying to save her from herself.

Olivia-F says no one needs to make Leo forget; Julian is doing fine on his own. Why does he want to remind Leo of what he’s done? She tells Julian to do what’s best for Leo, and let him be raised so he’s proud of himself, not ashamed of where he comes from. She says that Julian says he loves Leo, and letting Ned adopt him would be the greatest gift he could give to him.

Ned talks about how his family sings the hymn every year at Thanksgiving. Tracy says it’s a very popular hymn, but Samira says not in Turkey, and I laugh. She tells them that her mother taught it to her. Tracy says they have things to talk about. Samira asks if she reconsidered, and Tracy says she’s keeping the painting. Ned takes her outside the room to talk. Ned tells Tracy that they have another problem, and it has nothing to do with the painting.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t remember his years with Helena. He did anything Helena ordered him to do. He thinks he lived on the island too, and Jake saw him with Helena, and that’s why he’s afraid.

Carly tells Jax that Sonny doesn’t control her. She says she just declared war, and she’s not running now. Jax says that will only feed Sonny’s ego, but she can prove he no longer matters, and that’s victory. She says Sonny is not getting away with it. Jax says that instead of giving herself a shot at happiness, she wants to fight Sonny because he’s still in her blood and always will be.

Laura tells Samira they’ll find a way to save her daughter. She gives Samira a dress she bought for her. Samira says she won’t be there along enough to wear it.

Ned tells Tracy that immigration will be back with a warrant. She says she knows how to help Samira.

Diana asks wth is the matter with Alexis? Alexis says she told the truth, and Diane says a selective version. For once she doesn’t want to hear the details, but reminds Alexis of the consequences. She painted Julian as a saint. The bar committee might interpret her actions as harboring a criminal, and she could permanently lose her license. Diane asks if he’s worth it.

Jason says Helena was able to force him to put a bomb on The Haunted Star, and could have ordered him to do anything, and he’d have done it. Elizabeth suggests Jake could have seen something.

Jax tells Carly to prove he’s wrong. She says it’s not the right time, and she’s sorry. He says he loves her, and he knows she loves him in her own way, but it’s not enough. He has to go, and she has to stay and get back together with Sonny. She says that’s not happening. Jax says Sonny is at the epicenter of everything, and he’s going to end up destroying her because he can’t help himself.

Olivia-F says that it’s not her intention to hurt Julian; she just wants what’s best for their son. He says that he does too, and she asks him to think it over. He’s going to prison for a long time, and even if he gets out, who will be waiting?

Alexis says she’ll have to cross those bridges when they come to her, and Diane tells her to just make sure not to burn them as she scampers across. Alexis says the charges won’t stick. She asks if they can’t get him on Olivia-J’s crimes, if the kidnapping charge is on failsafe. Diane asks how it would change anything if he walks away.

Tracy tells Ned that there’s only one thing they can do. Ned asks if it will help get Samira’s daughter back. Tracy says in the long run, but she needs to get Samira out of the country now.

Jason says maybe Jake is afraid because back then, Jason did something terrible to him.

Carly tells Jax that she’ll never let Sonny destroy her, but she needs time to process everything. Jax says they’ll always be friends, and he’ll always help as much as he can. She says she doesn’t think she’s being unreasonable, and he tells her to take her time, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be waiting. He says it’s not an ultimatum, but sometimes if you pass on an offer, it doesn’t come back. She says she’ll take her chances; it wouldn’t be fair with so much unresolved, especially with Josslyn. She thanks him for the needed clarity and something to think about. She tells him to fly safe, and he says he’s an expert pilot. They say good-by, and you know what I’m thinking.

Tomorrow, Nelle thinks Michael is never going to forgive her, Samira collapses, and Griff asks Anna if she knows how dangerous what she’s doing is.

😞 Jane Elliot is going to be leaving the show on May 4th, so there will be a special episode on Friday, highlighting Tracy’s exploits.

Southern Charm

Landon unloads stuff from the trunk of her car – or rather, has someone else do it – for the polo match at Thomas’s plantation. Thomas says she knows how to entertain and is good in the kitchen, unlike some other women who have been in his life. We flash back to Kathryn trying to cook dinner, a totally unfair comparison, since she’s also tending to a child. He wants a woman who will reflect positively on his legacy, and thinks maybe she’s the whole package. Oh, the jokes I could make, both about Thomas’s legacy and Landon being a package.

Everyone is getting ready. The horses are getting hosed down. The bar is set up. Guests start to arrive, and Landon plays Lady of the Manor. Or plantation, as it were.

Austen picks up Chelsea and I love, love, love her dress. The backless sundress style is flattering, and the orange and purple retro colors are fantastic. She says all she knows about polo is from Pretty Woman. I don’t even remember that. She says she made out with Shep once, but thinks he acts like an idiot.

Whitney tries to interact with Thomas’s baby. In her interview, Cameran says Whitney holding a baby is like Whitney holding a mop – he’s never done it before, so it’s awkward.

Landon tells Craig there’s hooch out back, and in his interview, he thinks she fits right in with this life. Chelsea eats like a heathen, and Austen wonders if it’s supposed to gross him out or turn him on. She tells Cameran and Whitney that it’s their first date, and Cameran questions if it’s breaking bro code, since Shep kind of had his eye on her. Well, maybe Shep needs to move faster.

Thomas explains polo rules to Austen. Craig wants to give it a go. Thomas’s kids are wheeled past in a giant stroller by the babysitter. Kelsey cries for daddy, but Thomas doesn’t even go over to them, since he wants to concentrate on the game. When Craig suggests he might want to give the child crying for him a hug, Thomas whines that he can’t please everyone. Craig is bothered, but Landon says Thomas is Thomas. Craig wonders how everyone would feel if Kathryn did the same thing. Good point, Craig. Landon thinks Craig doesn’t understand Southern social protocol. Craig tells Cameran about the kids calling for their dad, and him ignoring it, but she thinks it’s a healthy, stable environment. Craig decides to take a breather. In her interview, Cameran thinks he should re-focus his energy on helping himself.

Austen tells Chelsea that Thomas’s team won the match, and she says it’s rigged. Craig talks to Naomie about Thomas’s kids. In her interview, she says nobody likes a meddler. Yeah, unless that meddler is you. All of these people are meddlers.

Shep visits Whitney at his mommy’s house, while still drunk from the reception. He talks about turning 37 soon, and wonders where the years went. He thinks 40 is a good age to take stock, and says he has three years to go before he needs to panic. They make grilled cheese, and Shep asks what he missed. Whitney tells him about Austen and Chelsea being cozy at the polo match, and that he has competition.

Austen tells his roommate Dan about the possible breaking of bro code, but thinks it’s all good.

Shep asks if Austen and Chelsea were doing more than just talking. He wants to be in the know if someone is sitting in his chair. Whitney thinks he’s jealous because he’s been usurped by his protegee.

Kathryn meets Craig for dinner. He welcomes her back. She says she feels great, and asks about the charity event. She says it’s not that she didn’t want to see Thomas, but it didn’t seem like the right time. In his interview, he says he’s proud of her. He tells her about the polo match and Landon co-hosting. He says he thinks it makes Landon feel like she’s living her old life. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s been saying that Landon was pursuing Thomas, and when she reads people, she’s right. Craig tells her about Thomas ignoring the kids, and how he said he can’t please everyone. Kathryn says she has supervised visitation every other weekend. We see a clip of her picking the kids up. Craig wonders if they’ll get to the point where it’s joint custody. She says it’s complicated with all of the rules, and she’s dealing one day at a time.

Chelsea and Austen meet for drinks. They find out they’re both Geminis. She asks if he wants kids, and he tells her yes, but he’s not in a rush. She asks how many one-night stands he’s had. He tells her two or three, but in his interview, it’s a different story. He invites her over for a nightcap.

Shep calls Chelsea, who says she’s dying. She thought it was a good idea to drink Painkillers, and now she’s paying the price. He suggests that next time she goes out drinking, she let him know. We flash back to when they went out with Cameran, and Shep suggests she give him a haircut the next day and then have some fun. In his interview, he says he hates to lose.

Shep calls Landon. She doesn’t pick up, even though she’s looking at the phone. He invites her to his birthday boat cruise. It’s the next day, and I’m puzzled at how invitations always seem to be last-minute with this group. At most, they’re a week ahead of time. And these aren’t casual gettogethers. Either none of these people have anything to do, or they’re incredibly rude. Or both. We flash back to Shep giving Landon advice, and she says she’s not interested in being around him right now. She calls Craig, and asks if he’s going. He says they’ll just give Shep fuel if they don’t show up. He wonders if Shep is being an a-hole or a friend. Landon wishes it wasn’t on a boat, because it makes her feel trapped. Craig wonders if it’s on purpose, and she says she’s a good swimmer.

Naomie and Cameran go for mani/pedis. They talk about Shep’s birthday. Cameran says as the night gets older, he has the mental equivalent of a nine-year-old. They discuss Craig, and Cameran says he told her that he wants to build a real estate portfolio. She just wants him to find his niche. Cameran suggests that Naomie call him on not really wanting to be a lawyer. Naomie says it’s her fault for giving him a “safe space” at home. Cameran tells her that she can’t avoid discussing things because they’re uncomfortable. In her interview, she thinks Naomie is the best thing that’s happened to him, and if he doesn’t change, she’s going out the door. She tells Naomie not to be afraid to talk to him about it.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon to get a haircut. He’s taking this as a challenge. Not the haircut, getting together with her. She asks if he has a birthday date, and he says no. She asks if he met anyone at the wedding, and he says he’s weird and picky. He asks who she was with when she got drunk, and she says Austen. He asks if they’re romantically involved, and she says they’re hanging out and getting to know one another. She asks if he cares who she’s smooching, and he says he wants to be kept in the know. She asks about the reverse, and he says that he’s not with a different woman every night, but she says that’s the Shep she knows.

Austen picks out a checked shirt and says “righteous!” No. Just no.

Shep tells us that he loves kooky cocktail attire. When he dresses up, he doesn’t want to be conspicuous, but does want to be noticed. Everyone arrives at the boat. Shep tells Cameran about his haircut, and wonders if Chelsea has seen Austen since they went out drinking. Cameran says maybe they’re just friends, and points out that she and Shep go out together. In his interview, Shep says the definition of hanging out is different for everyone. So is hooking up. There’s awkwardness at the bar, with Shep, Austen, and Chelsea all there. In his interview, Whitney says Shep would do the same thing. Shep and Austen greet each other, and Chelsea looks super uncomfortable.

Craig got stuck in traffic, but manages to get there before launch time. The Caroline Girl shoves off, and Shep’s birthday is announced. Cameran tells Chelsea that the first thing Shep talked about was her going out with Austen. Chelsea says she had a blast with Austen, and felt chemistry. Cameran asks who’s the better kisser, and don’t lie. Chelsea thinks Austen has emotion, whereas Shep was like, you’re a girl and you’re here; there was no connection. Cameran says his reputation precedes him, and Chelsea says he’d have to do a lot to get her to stop thinking of him in that way. In her interview, Cameran says this screws up her grand plan, but maybe it’s a good thing, and will make Shep get it together. She hasn’t lost hope.

Cameran tells Shep about Chelsea and Austen making out. She says he needs to grow a pair. He says it’s easier for him to fool around with someone he doesn’t care about. Cameran says it’s not about that, and asks if he wants to be like Thomas – a fifty-year-old man with no shoelaces. We see Thomas, and sure enough, he’s wearing sneakers with no shoelaces. In his interview, Shep thinks Chelsea looks at him as never being serious.

Shep talks to Landon and Thomas. Landon wants to talk to him privately. Yep, she’s such an idiot, that she’s going to bother him with her feelings at his birthday party. He apologizes for being hard on her, but says he’d feel worse if he hadn’t said something. In her interview, Landon says it wasn’t exactly an apology, but if he wants to think they’re cool, fine.

Thomas tells Whitney that he doesn’t like pear-shaped girls, and he likes Landon’s body. He says that he’s never had “sexual relations with that woman,” but she’s the type he’d like. How repulsive is he? Let me count the ways. Landon sits down, and Thomas asks why he turns her off. She says that he doesn’t totally; they like a lot of the same things. She says a part of her wants to like Thomas, but there’s too much drama. She knows his reputation and current situation, and she was already married to that. Whitney suggests they get it over with, and see if they like it or they don’t, subtlety not being his strong suit.

Shep is getting that weird artist girl to do another painting of him. Chelsea and Austen go out on the deck. Shep acts stupid with the girls. In her interview, Cameran says that, instead of going after Chelsea, in typical Shep fashion, Shep is acting like a horny St. Bernard. He tells Cameran that he’s walking away, and she wonders why he’s even talking about it. He says he doesn’t want to ruin friendships.

Chelsea asks Austen how he feels about their relationship; she’s all about seeing where it goes. She says she likes him, and he says that’s great news.

Cameran says that Shep has a hard time showing his feelings, and he’s going to end up alone with a fridge full of beer. Shep says this is him; he isn’t hiding any inner feelings. Cameran thinks he’s lying, and Shep tells her that she’s wrong.

Next time, an altercation between Jennifer and Kathryn, Thomas thinks he’s lost his judgement skills (if he ever had them), Shep talks to Austen about Chelsea, Shep confronts Austen, and Craig tells Naomie that she’s acting dumb. Again I say, unless he’s not paying back borrowed money, or not paying his share of the bills, who cares what career path, or not, he decides to take?

🍹 Andy had promised all hell would break loose on Watch What Happens Live tonight. It wasn’t quite that, but it was a lot of fun. The guests were Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm and Kelly Osbourne. The best part was Patricia wearing a caftan with a sparkly collar and Pug Chauncy’s face all over it. And she has a line of things she can make for you too! She even presented Andy with Wacha PJs. I did want to yell at the TV a couple of times though. One being when Patricia agreed with Thomas ignoring the kids at the polo match, claiming that polo is a dangerous game, and he really needed to concentrate. I would actually buy that, if it weren’t for Thomas whining that he couldn’t please everyone. Andy also let Kelly plead the fifth twice, which just isn’t right. You can check out Patricia’s pet line at: http://patriciascouture.com/?gclid=CI_Y8dvqvtMCFc9MDQodXoYIhg

😯 In what could possibly be a future unfortunate identity crisis, there is a person named Patricia Couture, who made headlines with some scandal, so if you google it, make sure you put in Patricia‘s Couture or add Altschul.

PatriciaAltschulPetCaftans

 

April 23, 2017 – N’once Upon a Time & the End of a Feud

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

I didn’t see much TV today, and will have to go On Demand with Once Upon a Time, because I had the pleasure of going to a production of The Little Foxes by Lillian Hellman on Broadway with an old friend. (Thanks, Michael!) Stars Laura Linney and Cynthia Nixon alternated the female lead roles, and we saw Laura as Regina, and Cynthia as Birdie. I had wanted to see this having seen Laura on stage before in Les Liasons Dangereuses years ago. While I know she’s done a million films, I honestly couldn’t name one of them, but she blew me away on stage. She did not disappoint in this drama either – she took hold of the stage on commanded it. The rest of the cast was excellent as well, Richard Thomas especially surprised me. While I don’t dislike him, I’ve never been what I’d call a fan, but thought his portrayal of Horace was superb. The sets were incredibly impressive as well. If you’re interested, there’s more info here: https://www.manhattantheatreclub.com/2016-17-season/little-foxes/

LILLIAN HELLMAN’S THE LITTLE FOXES
Directed by Daniel Sullivan
With Laura Linney, Cynthia Nixon
Darren Goldstein, Michael McKean, Richard Thomas
David Alford, Michael Benz, Francesca Carpanini, Caroline Stefanie Clay, Charles Turner

This is also a good segue into the one thing I did watch. Bette Davis starred as Regina in the film version of The Little Foxes, and I got home just in time to catch the final chapter of Feud: Bette and Joan. The episode was titled, You mean all this time we could have been friends? referring to a line at the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? The careers and health of both stars are going downhill, BD wants nothing to do with Bette, and Joan has been left pretty much alone. One of the saddest moments of the previous episode was Mamacita finally leaving her, having had enough of her abuse. After the film disaster that was Trog (I actually remember seeing that in the movie theater), Joan retires totally, and Mamacita returns part-time. There was a heart-breaking fantasy sequence, where Joan (Susan Sarandon), Bette (Jessica Lange), Jack Warner (Stanley Tucci), and Hedda Hopper (Judy Davis) are playing cards. When Joan calls Mamacita to pour the champagne, we see that it’s all in her head. The takeaway I got, was that despite her animosity, Joan craved Bette’s friendship, and while Bette did respect her as an actress, she couldn’t be the friend that Joan wanted. The entire cast was fantastic, but special kudos to Dominic Burgess for doing a spot on Victor Buono.

Victor: Give us this day, our daily slice, but cut it thin and toast it twice. (The Fat Man’s Prayer)

Joan: Stars are like Christmas trees. After the lights go out, you sit there and watch the needles drop.

Bette: My mother told me to never say anything ill about the dead. Only good. Joan Crawford is dead? Good.

FuedBette&amp;Joan