What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Going on three days now, I missed the beginning – why break a streak? – but here are the highlights. Molly and TJ showed up at court, and Alexis pleaded guilty. Jordan explained to Curtis why Taggert was staying with her, and told Taggert that he had Curtis to thank for Trina forgiving him. Jordan left to take a call, leaving Taggert and Curtis probably feeling awkward. Carly left Anna’s to get the plan in motion, and Robert came by. Anna told him that Jason was innocent, and Peter had killed Franco. Peter saw Valentin at the MetroCourt, and said, nyah-nyah, Maxie was giving him another chance. Valentin said he was sick of hearing Peter play the victim. Britt went over to Maxie’s place, and checked Maxie’s blood pressure. It was elevated, and Maxie said she was worried about Peter coming back. Britt said her father never took no for an answer, and Peter was more like Faison every day. It was obsession, not love. Maxie said the baby would have to disappear. Finally, I sat down…
Judge Carson asks if Alexis understands the ramifications of pleading guilty, and Alexis says she does. The judge asks if the prosecution has any objections, and the prosecutor says, none. She says Alexis’s request is granted, and asks if the victim is present. Dante says he is, and she says she’s reviewed his statement regarding January 28th, but written statements can sometimes be misleading. She’d like to hear his testimony before she pronounces sentencing.
Taggert says he wants to let Curtis know, there’s absolutely nothing going on, but Curtis says Taggert doesn’t need to tell him that. Taggert says he knows he made things hard when he came back, making Jordan keep his survival a secret. He saw the toll it put on Curtis and his marriage, and he’s sorry. He didn’t mean come between Curtis and Jordan. Curtis says, he didn’t. The problem is strictly between him and Jordan. Taggert says he still regrets putting pressure on Jordan. A partner, even a former partner, should help, and not complicate the other partner’s life. Curtis says, it’s just a hazard of the job. It doesn’t stop when you go home and take the badge off. Taggert says, it seeps into everything you do, and Curtis says, and those you care about. Taggert says he never met a more dedicated cop than Jordan, and Curtis says, Jordan is all about justice. It’s what she was born to do.
Robert says, Peter killed Franco, and framed Jason, and Anna says, Jason is a professional. If he’d wanted to kill Franco, he would have done it years ago, and without a trace. Jason isn’t going to dump the weapon down a garbage shoot in the same building as the murder. Peter did, and wiped it clean, thinking that’s all he needs to do. He’s been extraordinarily lucky. That’s what’s going to trip him up. He’s going to confuse luck with being good. Robert says she’s convinced him.
Valentin says the life Peter is proud of isn’t real; it was built on lies. Hurting people won’t change that. He did the right thing, and told Maxie the truth. Peter says, now Valentin cares so much about doing the right thing? and Valentin says, better late than never. When Peter’s cell door closes, will he still be looking around for Maxie? Peter says, the WSB has no proof; he won’t be arrested, and that’s the truth. Valentin says he claims to love Maxie, but he won’t confess. He needs to take responsibility. Peter says, by going to prison? and Valentin says, that may be the only way. Be the father his child deserves. Peter tells Valentin to stay out of his life and his way, or he’ll live to regret it. Carly watches.
Carly goes over to Gladys’s table, and asks what the hell she thinks she’s doing. Gladys says she has a right to be there. She’s even ordering Carly’s overpriced coffee. Carly says she’s not talking about that. Why did Gladys lie about Jason? Gladys says she didn’t, and Carly says, save it. Gladys is a spiteful bottom feeder, and will be doing eight to ten for obstruction of justice when Carly is done.
Britt says, the baby is going to disappear? and Maxie says, the baby can’t be anywhere Peter can find her. He has to think she’s gone. Britt asks what that will entail. Is Maxie going to hide out? Maxie says she’ll send word to Peter that the baby died in childbirth, but Britt says he won’t believe her. She can try to run, but he’ll find her. If she tries to keep the baby from him, he’ll come at her harder. She’ll never be free. Obsession runs in the family. Be careful. Maxie says, that’s why she’s turned this over and over in her mind. She knows what she needs to do. Peter has to believe the baby is stillborn.
Dante tells the judge, he was on the first floor of GH when he witnessed an altercation between Franco and Sam. Elizabeth was also there. There were raised voices and Franco seemed to reach out to grab Sam. Judge Carson asks if Franco was threatening herm but Dante says he doesn’t know; it was chaotic. But Alexis is Sam’s mother, and she came out of an examining room with a syringe. She was headed for Franco, and he got in between them, intercepting Alexis. That’s when she got him in the chest. The judge asks if Dante believes Alexis intended to assault him, and he says, no. Alexis wasn’t in her right mind. She was drinking and her judgment was impaired. You could say she chose to drink, but Alexis is an alcoholic and has a disease. Dante believes people struggling with substance abuse and mental illness should he helped, not punished, and hopes the court agrees, and shows leniency. He forgives Alexis and she’s definitely not a threat to society. Judge Carson thanks him, and says, you may step down. She asks if Alexis has an elocution, and Alexis gets up. She says she does.
Gladys asks what Carly’s problem is. Does she want to cause a scene? Carly says she doesn’t care if everyone hears her. Gladys is a liar who will do anything for money. It makes her an unreliable witness, and Carly is going to find out why Gladys falsely accused Jason. Gladys says she did her civic duty, and reported suspicious activity to the cops. Carly says, no wonder Brando went to work for Cyrus. He has no use for her either. She’s a fraud and a cheat. Valentin comes over, and says, that’s enough. Peter watches.
Alexis thanks Dante for his incredibly thoughtful and generous support of her. His forgiveness means more than he’ll ever know. She’d like to says she’s sorry, deeply sorry, for what she’s done, and wants to make amends. She may have lost the ability to practice law, but she hasn’t lost her respect for it. She committed a crime, and she’s willing to accept punishment. Most important, she loves her family, and doesn’t want to hurt them anymore. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. She thanks Judge Carson for giving her a chance to speak, and the judge says, the court is ready to proceed with sentencing. She’ll take a short break, and return with the sentence. The bailiff says, all rise, and the judge leaves. Alexis says she didn’t mean to undercut Diane; she knows how Diane hates that. Diane says Alexis did great. She’s still a helluva lawyer. Alexis says she meant every word. It’s in the judge’s hands now.
Robert tells Anna, Peter thought Franco knew something connecting him to Drew’s kidnapping, which gives him a motive. Anna says, someone saw Jason ditch the gun, but they’re lying. He asks if she can prove it, and she says, she, Carly, and Valentin have a plan. As they speak, Carly is publicly accusing Gladys about lying about seeing Jason dump the gun. He says, that’s her plan? To shame Gladys? It won’t work. Anna says, it will. Valentin will step in and defend Gladys. He’ll intervene, and Gladys will be smitten with her knight in tarnished armor. That’s the first step. He says he’s confused. How many steps are there? Jason’s arraignment is tomorrow. She asks if he can get it postponed, and he says, he’s the DA. Tell him what he can do. Right now, the tide is against Jason. She has to come with hard evidence against Peter before it’s too late. She says, too late for what? and he says there isn’t just one plan to handle Peter. Maxie is working on one of her own. Anna says, bloody hell.
Britt asks if Maxie isn’t being too reminiscent of Nelle. Does she really want to emulate a psychopath? Maxie says she’s not doing it to punish Peter, like Nelle did to Michael. She’s doing it to protect herself, the baby, and James. Britt asks how it’s going to work. Nelle delivered Wiley in the woods, and she’s lucky he survived the trauma. Maxie isn’t thinking holing up in a cabin, is she? Maxie says, no way. She delivered James by the side of the road, and isn’t risking that again. She’s giving birth in a hospital. Britt says, good. How does she plan to convince Peter the baby didn’t make it? Maxie says, that’s where Britt comes in.
Valentin asks if Carly has a problem with this nice lady, but Carly says Gladys is no lady; she’s a liar. She’s angry that Sonny favored Jason over Brando. Valentin asks if she thinks Gladys accused her out of spite to get back at her expired husband, and Gladys says she was only doing her civic duty. Valentin agrees, saying since Jason slithered back into town, he’s put all their lives in danger. Carly tells them to get out of her restaurant. They head for the elevator, and Carly tells Peter, he’s next.
Gladys says she takes it that Valentin isn’t a fan of the widow Corinthos, and he says, she’s a dreadful woman. He introduces himself, and Gladys does the same. He says, it’s great to meet her, and hopes she’s all right. Carly was completely out of line. The whole thing was upsetting. Whenever he deals with Carly, he needs a good stiff drink, but not at the MetroCourt. He knows the perfect place. Would she like to join him? She says, you bet, and he says, wonderful.
Robert tells Anna that Peter was standing his ground and refusing to leave, and she asks how he got Peter to go. He says Maxie appealed to the child’s welfare, and talked about how caring Peter was. He left under his own power. She says, good move, and Robert says, Maxie is playing a dangerous game, keeping Peter at arm’s length while pretending to be friends. She can’t get a restraining order for fear of inciting him. Anna says, unfortunately, Maxie is right. How many abusive husbands ignore the orders, and it leads to tragic results? At least Maxie is thinking clearly, but she’d like to know Maxie’s plan. Robert says, him too. He wishes she’d tell him.
Britt tells Maxie, she moved heaven and earth to get her license back. She can’t risk it. Not only is the plan distasteful; it’s impractical. Maxie asks if Britt isn’t sympathetic to her child’s dilemma; they’re talking about her niece. Britt says, of course (🍷) she wants to keep the baby safe, but Peter doesn’t trust her. If she comes out with tears in her eyes, saying the baby didn’t make it, he won’t buy it. Paranoia doesn’t begin to describe his mindset. There’s no scenario where he won’t be suspicious. Maxie says both she and Britt have done worse. She has every confidence they can handle this.
Curtis says, they’re still going after Cyrus? and Taggert says, until he’s behind bars or in the ground. He’s seen Curtis in action, and he’s good. It could be what they need to stop Cyrus, especially with Sonny out of the picture. What does Curtis say? Curtis says, no. He’s not about that life anymore.
Sam says she’s so proud of Alexis, and Molly says, Alexis was honest and brave. Alexis says, don’t give her the credit, and Sam says she doesn’t need prison to get sober, but Alexis says, it’s a constant struggle. Molly says Alexis is strong enough to handle it, and Alexis thanks Dante for his kind words. Sam thanks him too, and he says he was just being honest. Diane says she’s sure it helped, and the judge will consider it. Molly says she hopes it’s enough to get Alexis a suspended sentence, and Diane says, that’s the dream scenario. Molly asks if Diane thinks the judge will be harsh, but Diane says she doesn’t know. The judge is all over the map with sentencing. Sometimes she throws the book, sometimes she’s lenient. Alexis says, she likes people who take responsibility, and she did in all sincerity. Whatever sentence is rendered, she’ll be okay. The bailiff says, all rise.
Taggert says he heard Curtis bought a nightclub, and Curtis says he did. Taggert says, for real? No more P.I. work? Curtis says, no, and Taggert says, wow. Okay, good luck. Taggert’s phone dings, and he says, the food is in the lobby. He’ll go get it. He leaves, and Jordan says she’s sorry there are so many interruptions. Curtis says, no worries, and she says she’s glad he came by.
Judge Carson says Alexis has been before her as a lawyer, and giving her impromptu summation showed integrity. She knows about alcoholism, and knows it’s an illness. She commends Alexis for not hiding behind her disease. She’s before the judge on two charges, but the intended victim wasn’t injured. She’s dismissing the attempted murder charge, but there’s still the matter of the assault on Dante.
Carly says Peter’s smear campaign to convict Jason before he goes to court isn’t journalism; it’s tabloid trash. He says his readers are fascinated with the enforcer of the late mob kingpin. His metrics are up, and his subscriptions have increased. Carly says she’d like to see how his ad revenues will fare. The MetroCourt has relationships with the businesses that advertise in his paper, as well as Corinthos Coffee. She’ll convince them that they’re better off not associating with his disreputable rag. Does he think he’ll be able to afford his office at the MetroCourt? His lease is up for renewal. He asks if she’s sure she wants to pick a fight with him, and she says, back off Jason, or he’ll find out.
At a fancy restaurant we’ve never seen, Valentin asks Gladys if she’d like another, and she says, why not? It’s such a nice place. He tells the waiter, another wine for the lovely Miss Corbin, and thanks her for joining him. Don’t think about Carly for one more minute. She’s tedious and overbearing. He resides at the MetroCourt or he’d avoid her altogether. Gladys says she knows all about Carly. She doesn’t buy the gracious lady act; Carly is anything but. Gladys is actually family, or she was. Carly is a gold-digging social climber who married her cousin. She and Sonny were cousins – may he rest. He was connected, if Valentin knows what she means. He says he does, as does half of Port Charles. She laughs, and says Brando got shot his first day in Port Charles. He saved Carly’s life, and Sonny still wouldn’t let him into the business. He says, it must have been disappointing for her son, and she says, it was, but Brando got a better job with Cyrus. Valentin says he’s met Cyrus; the impressive chairman of General Hospital. Cyrus is no stranger to bad press. Gladys says she can’t believe everyone thinks Carly is so high and mighty, while Cyrus is a great guy who’s painted as a criminal. Valentin says, there are two sides to every story, and they clink glasses. She says she’s glad everything worked out, and he says he takes it Brando enjoys working for Cyrus. She says, why wouldn’t he? Brando knows a good thing when he sees it. So does Cyrus. She and Brando are going to go far.
Robert says, Maxie has a plan – God help us – and Anna has a plan, while Peter is going around covering his tracks. Anna says Jason believes Gladys saw Peter. That’s how she knew where the gun was. She was paid by Cyrus to incriminate Jason. He asks if she thinks Cyrus and Peter have a connection, and she says, wouldn’t that be great? Robert could bring them up on conspiracy charges. He tells her, come up with more evidence, and she says she’s working on it. He says she has a lot of faith in Valentin, and she says Valentin is as motivated as she is. He’s going to cozy up to Gladys, gain her trust, and find evidence linking her, Cyrus, and Peter. She wishes she could tell Maxie, but it’s too much pressure. She’s scared that Maxie will say something and give it away. He says, it’s a risk, but if Maxie isn’t told, she’s more likely to do something drastic.
Britt says if Maxie fakes a stillbirth, she’ll have to lie to everyone. There’s no telling her mom or Mac that their grandchild is alive. Her friends and family will mourn the loss, and be heartbroken. Maxie says she knows. She hates it, but they’ll understand in the end. Britt says, if Maxie manages to convince Peter the child is gone, where will the baby be? Given up for adoption? Maxie says she’s not giving up her baby. After the baby is born, she’ll be whisked out of Port Charles by someone Maxie trusts. Don’t ask her who. She hasn’t gotten that far yet. Then, after a few weeks, she’ll say she can’t stay in Port Charles; the grief is too much to bear. She’s moving, and starting a new life. Britt asks if she thinks Peter will fall for it, and Maxie says she’ll wait until Peter is in prison. Then she’ll come back and explain, and everyone will be so happy that she was able save baby. She tells Britt, please help save your niece.
Judge Carson says, for aggravated assault, she’s sentencing Alexis to three years in Pentenville. She’ll be given seven days to get her affairs in order before she needs to report to the prison. Court is adjourned. I’m thinking, it seems kind of harsh, and Diane says, it’s better than she thought it would be. Three years is light; Alexis will have the opportunity for parole. Molly says she was so scared, but Sam says, Alexis is still going to prison. Alexis says she’s fine, and it won’t be three years; it will two and a half. Molly says she knows it was an easy sentence, but what will they do without her? Alexis says she’s not gone yet. They have a week, and she’s not wasting one minute. She hugs Sam and Molly.
Curtis says, it’s nice to see Jordan too, but he’ll let her get to her work. She says, great, but why did he come over? He says, it’s not important, but she says he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to come there if it wasn’t. She knows he wasn’t expecting Taggert, but they can go somewhere private. He says she has enough on her plate with her unexpected guest. She’s a good friend. She says it’s the least she can do, since Taggert was punished for what the team did to Cyrus. Curtis says Taggert doesn’t seem to be holding it against her, besides, she’s paid in other ways. Taggert comes back with a load of bags, and says he ordered half the menu. There’s enough for everybody. Does Curtis want to join them? Curtis says, thanks; he’s good. He should probably get going. He leaves, and Taggert asks Jordan if she’s okay.
Valentin asks how long Gladys is in town, but Gladys tells him, she couldn’t say. Now she’s a material witness in a murder trial. He says, a lot of people would be nervous going up against someone as dangerous and powerful as Jason. She says she has protection. Her son Brando is very protective; that boy loves his mother. Valentin says, he has good reason. He’s sure she must be eager to see Jason convicted so she’ll have nothing to worry about, and she says, she’s just doing her part. She knows what she saw, and Jason is getting what he deserves. She says she should get going, and he says he’s sorry; he’s kept her too long. Will she let him drive her home? She says she will. It’s so nice to meet a real gentlemen. Valentin is a class act. (Agreed.)
Anna tells Robert, she doesn’t have a good relationship with Maxie right now. Maxie won’t listen to her, but if anyone can get through to Maxie, it’s Robert. He says, Maxie isn’t famous for keeping a cool head, and she says he has to talk to Maxie. Reassure her, do whatever it takes. He says he’s concerned that Maxie’s plan will get in the way of Anna’s plan, or worse, provoke Peter.
Britt says, Maxie is right about one thing. She can’t pull this off on her own. Maxie asks if Britt is going to help her, and Britt says they have to plan a scenario for every potential situation. Maxie can’t leave town a few weeks afterward. Unless Peter is under arrest, he’s going to follow her, and expect them to console each other. Maxie says she keeps praying Peter is removed from their lives, and Britt says, her too, but they don’t know when and if that will happen. The baby will be safe, but not Maxie. Peter is fixated on her as his great love, and only salvation. He’s not going to give up. He’s going to want to be the loving, grieving partner. Maxie needs to ask herself, how far is she willing to go?
Peter tells Carly, be careful. With Sonny dead, and Jason in prison, there’s no one left to protect her. She asks what he just said to her, and he says, only the truth. Despite her grandstanding, she’s alone in a sea of predators. She says, no one is getting the better of her. Least of all, him. He asks if she’s sure about that.
Tomorrow, Nina suggests Sonny find out who he is, Josslyn tells Cameron what he did was cruel, and Jason yells that he didn’t kill Franco.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
There was a rewind to the Teresa/Jackie altercation from last week, that ended with Teresa storming into the house, after telling everyone to f*** themselves. Or maybe she meant just Joe #2. That wasn’t really clear. Melissa said it was bullsh*t, and Marge said Jackie had been cordial when Teresa told her to stick a sex toy up her ass. Melissa suggested letting Joe #2 talk to Teresa, but in Joe’s interview, he said Teresa hadn’t stuck up for him when Juicy Joe (aka Joe #1) put out a nasty article about him. Yet if Jackie says something, Teresa wants him to have her back. She wanted it both ways, and he was over it. Marge apologized to Jackie, who asked why Joe #3 gave life to the Evan rumor. Since Joe #3 can never speak for himself, Marge said that all the men were talking about it, and started screeching at Jackie. Jackie wondered why everyone was yelling at her, since she’d done nothing wrong. Melissa tried calming Marge down, and in Frank’s interview, he said Joe #3 did say he heard the rumor – and we flashed back to that – but all any of them said was that they didn’t believe it, So who TF cares? Jackie wanted to know why she was being a punching bag, and Joe #3 told her that at guy’s night, they all gave Evan a 100% vote of confidence. This made it all good, and they hugged. In Melissa’s interview, she said there was only one person to blame for the meltdown, and that was Teresa. Teresa came back outside, Melissa got in her face, and ended up throwing a cheese plate. Teresa whined that Melissa should stick up for her, and Melissa asked if Teresa was a weak bitch. She’d already defended Teresa too many times. Joe #2 said he was always fighting for Teresa, and screamed that Joe #1 had put his parents in their graves. That POS had put Teresa in jail, and his mother in her grave. He pounded the table, causing everything to fly everywhere, and Teresa looked like a fish out of water, with her mouth gaping open, because she can dish it out, but not take it.
Delores said the Gorga’s would have wanted Joe #2 and Teresa to get together, and it sucked. In Joe #2’s interview, he said there wasn’t a man on earth who took away more than Joe #1 took away from him. Joe #1 took his time with his mother and sister, and he couldn’t stand the thought of Joe #1 coming between him and his family again. Joe #2 and Teresa hugged, and it was all I love you. In his interview, Joe #2 said when he and Teresa fight, it brings him back to the dark place where they were before. He told Teresa to squash it, and she said she didn’t function that way, but he told her it had to end. Jackie didn’t know what she should do about the rest of the trip, and she, Melissa, and Marge went back to Melissa’s house with Joes #2 and #3. Jackie said it had been a sh*tshow. Delores said she knew Teresa fought hard, but didn’t really want to hurt anyone. I wasn’t so sure about that. Back at Melissa’s house, Jackie said Teresa was an effing animal, and called Evan. She asked him to agree that if Teresa started something, they’d leave. Delores told Teresa that she and Jackie spoke different language. Jackie thought Teresa was a bad person, and Delores wanted Teresa to prove her wrong. Joe #2 ended up having to put his hand in a bucket of ice from pounding the table, and Jackie asked the other household to help shut it down if Teresa started something when Evan came.
Delores told Frank that she wasn’t confident Evan was coming in peace, and he agreed. No one got much sleep at Melissa’s house, but Marge had the best quote of the night, telling Joe #2, no salt on The Marge’s food. She also said, it was a clusterf*ck of a night. Jackie said she didn’t want Teresa to be an animal around her husband, and Joe #2 let Teresa know that he didn’t want any issues at their father’s memorial. He wanted Teresa to talk to Evan, and in Delores’s interview, she said if that’s what it took to end it, talk to the effing guy. Bill arrived, and Delores said yesterday had been an emotional day for Teresa, since her divorce had been finalized and her house went on the market. Bill said he probably shouldn’t have told Jennifer what Joe #3 had said. Ya think? Marge didn’t want Teresa to suck the life out of everyone.
In her interview, Melissa said the worst thing was, you didn’t know which Teresa you would get, so she didn’t know if the worst was over. Teresa (wo)manned up, and told Jackie that she wasn’t trying to hurt her or her family, and asked if they could drop everything. Jackie said she’d like that, but don’t bring up her husband again. Teresa said it was dropped, and Jackie said Teresa needed to apologize to Evan too. Teresa said she thought that would be weird, and couldn’t Jackie do it for her, and Jackie told her that they should at least both be there. In Jackie’s interview, she said Teresa didn’t feel weird talking about him; now talk to him. In Teresa’s interview, she said her brother asked her to make it right, so she did, but felt uncomfortable speaking to Evan. She was old school, and where she came from, the wife made it good with the husband.
In the Memory Lane department, Melissa said in her interview that she was born and raised at the Jersey shore. When she’d been pregnant with Antonia, she and Joe #2 got their first shore house. It was tiny, but now they had 7 bedrooms. Melissa gave Delores and Jennifer a tour. Teresa told Evan that she didn’t like the way things went down, and hadn’t meant to hurt anyone. Jackie said they were going to let everything go, and Evan said, let’s have fun. In Marge’s interview, she said it was the weakest apology she’d ever seen, but since it came from Teresa, it was a freaking miracle. Joe #2 said he was proud of Teresa, and in Teresa’s interview, she said it was her dad’s memorial, and she hoped he was looking down to see her and her brother at peace.
Jackie asked if Evan was okay, and he said he was cool. She said she just wanted it to be over. Marge and Joe #3, and Jennifer and Bill went out on waverunners, while the rest tooled around in Joe #2’s boat. In Jennifer’s interview, she said it reminded her of summers she spent as a kid in Turkey. In Jackie’s interview, she said Teresa was like Jekyl and Hyde; freaking evil one minute, then nice and fun, but she was ready to put it behind them and have fun. At lunch, Delores said she was proud of Teresa, and somehow this led to Marge saying it was Jennifer’s fault for bringing it up. She also didn’t think it was right that Jennifer had an opinion on how she talked to Joe #3. Jennifer said Marge was shooting the messenger, and in Joe #2’s interview, he said they just put the drama to bed, and now it was starting again. Jennifer said Marge treated her husband badly, and Marge suggested Jennifer not come between her and Joe #3. She pointed out that Jennifer had embarrassed her entire family by being a sloppy drunk, and Jennifer said Marge was so sloppy, she’d slept with her boss. Oh no she didn’t. In Marge’s interview, she said her boss was an older man in a position of power, taking advantage of a young girl, and I felt the Twitterverse rumble. The guys were hanging out at the bar, and Joe #2 said he could hear Marge’s mouth, and Joe #3 said she had good lungs. Marge suggested Jennifer never argued with her husband because he was her meal ticket. Frank said meals brought out the worst in the women, and Evan suggested they just throw the women a protein bar and keep doing activities. Actually, that’s not a bad idea.
Delores asked if Jennifer hadn’t learned a lesson last night, and in her interview, she said Jennifer was like a little kid who said things you didn’t want them to. In Jennifer’s interview, she said she was a social drinker, not an alcoholic. She didn’t want Marg projecting her mother onto her. In the car, Jennifer said Marge slept with her boss to get ahead, and I felt more rumblings. Delores thought dinner wasn’t going to be quiet.
This season, Joe #2 twerks, a Halloween party, a memorial for Joe and Teresa’s father, Teresa has a new boyfriend, and Melissa tells Joe #2 that he’s holding her back.
📺 Tonight, Bravo also aired last night’s E! episode of For Real: The Story of Reality TV, which was good, since I missed it. Andy Cohen gave us a little reality history, beginning with 1973’s An American Family. I was glad to see that show finally get credit. I saw most of it one New Year’s Day in the 90s when PBS reran it, and I’ve always wanted to watch it again in its entirety. Andy told us that Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous came ten years later, and Laguna Beach in 2004 (which I never saw) paved the way for the others.
Andy interviewed Teresa Giudice, Kyle Richards, and Caroline Manzo, who’s response to being hired was, these (indicating her breasts) are real and I love my husband. Kyle said she’d never wanted to do a reality show or a soap opera, and Andy said she wound up on a reality show that was a soap opera. Showrunners gave inside info as well, and we were told the formula was go big or go home, and to show and wear your wealth. The Real Housewives of Atlanta was discussed quite a bit, it having had the Oprah Effect, where both Black and Caucasian audiences both tuned in. Since I’d never seen Basketball Wives, I was surprised to find out Tami Roman from Real World Los Angeles had been on it. In her interview, she said she’d brought her Real World self into the show, and wanted it to be about sisterhood, but it wasn’t what she got. She was blindsided in finding out another cast member had slept with her ex-husband – while they were married. We also saw a blossoming Cardi B on Love & Hip Hop, the showrunner telling us that it was about the affluence/hardship of being a woman in a misogynistic world. She also said Cardi B understood it was about getting what you needed from the show, but giving back to the audience as well. Gizelle Bryant said the cast was ratchet, but tremendously entertaining. LVP thought people loved to watch reality TV for the opulent lives, but also to see that everyone has the same problems, and go through the same sh*t with their friends. It made people feel better about themselves. Caroline explained that she’d left the show not only because it had seeped into her family life, but she knew she’d given her best to the show, and could give no more. When she saw Teresa’s audition video, she said Teresa had an innocence and lightness that wasn’t there anymore. Andy tried pumping her on what happened between Caroline and sister Dina, who she hasn’t spoken to in years, but Caroling wasn’t talking. Teresa said that what happens in life happens on RHONJ, although I’ve never once seen anyone flip a table IRL.
We moved on to the Recession, where the scrappy ingenuity of working class white people was brought to reality TV with the likes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Teen Mom. The Jersey Shore (bleh) came along next, and showed that money didn’t matter. It was about being loyal, friendships, and GTL. Funny. I thought it was about being a drunk a-hole and giving a bad name to the Shore. Vanderpump Rules and Below Deck were examined, and Tom from VPR said he thought the cast was relatable on several levels. They were making ends meet, but also striving to get to the next level. Captain Lee said Below Deck was a combination of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and Downton Abbey, but on the water. Kate Chastain leaving a blanket folded like a rocketship d*ck for guest Dean was revisited, and she said she couldn’t even tell us how many d*ck gifts she gets on a daily basis. I’m not so sure I’d want to know anyway. She also said guests would ask her to sign the book she’d written. Scwartz (VPR) said he was sure he was going to wake up on Tom’s couch, super hungover, and find out it was all a crazy fever dream. Andy’s final thought was that reality TV reassured us of our shared humanity, and reminded us that we’re not so different after all… for the most part.
👩🏼🏫 One More Time…
All about the analogy and its aftermath.
🍵 Melissa Spills It…
Wow. She’s pretty chatty.
👠 Why She’s Still Here…
I was wondering how on earth this screeching harridan is still on TV, so I googled it. This is what I got.
https://screenrant.com/housewives-new-jersey-teresa-guidice-fan-favorite-reasons/
👍🏽 Hitchin’ a Ride…
Someday, I will have all my ducks in a row. Although by then, more ducks will no doubt have been added. No matter how many ducks you have, stay safe, stay doing nicely unto others, and stay not pounding on the table. All you’ll do is hurt yourself and end up with your hand in a bucket of ice.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 