What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dex asks if Sonny thinks the sniper worked for Pikeman, but Sonny says he doesn’t think they’d want to jeopardize the deal; too much at stake. But he’s going to find out who this guy is working for. He tells the guy to wake up, and the sniper stirs a little. Sonny says, if the guy wants his help, he has to help Sonny too, and the sniper asks what he wants. Sonny says he wants the guy to tell him who he’s working for.

Mac and Felicia sit in a table at the MetroCourt, and he says, champagne? What’s the occasion? She says, him and Doc making up. They’ve been friends way too long to stop now. Mac agrees, and they clink glasses. She says, Cody actually encouraged him to talk to Doc? and he says, Cody told him not to let the baggage fester. She says, so it was a good visit then? and he says, it was… until it wasn’t.

Dante asks if Mac is really Cody’s father, and Cody says, seems so. Dante says, so the tests were taken weeks after the other test? What’s the deal? The first test that said Mac wasn’t his father was wrong? Cody says, not exactly.

Finn introduces himself to Victor, who says he’s aware of who Finn is, and also aware of his relationship with Elizabeth Baldwin. Like this would mean what to Finn? Finn says he’s been called in to find out what the pathogen is in Victor’s system. Although extremely rare, he was able to identify it. Victor says, excellent. Now Finn can also get rid of it as quickly as possible.

Drew asks Laura to at least take some time to consider his offer. She’d be enhancing Charlotte’s trust fund and wouldn’t have to concern herself with ELQ matters. If he calls her little lady, I’m turning this off. She says she’s sorry, but she can’t just give up Valentin’s stake in the company, and Drew says, but he’s gone. It doesn’t benefit anybody to hang on to a past mistake… unless there’s something else going on.

Valentin tells Anna, Victor went to great lengths to get his hands on that necklace. So what’s the significance of those codes engraved in the diamond? She says, according to Laura, Eileen jumped at the suggestion she could get an unredacted report on the necklace. So what she’s thinking is, what if they planted false codes in that report to see where it led Victor? He says he likes the way her mind works, and she asks if it’s sexy or scary. He says he thinks it’s both, and kisses her. Lucy comes out with her bag, and says she has to leave immediately. Anna tells her, stop, but Lucy asks if she thinks anyone bothered to order the step-and-repeat for the red carpet. No. Does she think they know how to find a llama that doesn’t spit? No. Without her, the Nurses Ball is going to go down in flames. It will be the end of the show… forever.

Brook lets Maxie and Bobbie into the mansion, and thanks them for coming. Olivia sends her regrets; she caught the bug that’s going around. Maxie says, James’s teacher has it too. Tell Olivia she sympathizes and sends get well wishes. Bobbie asks if they should come back another time, but Brook says, not necessary. Olivia totally deputized her, and is ready, willing, and able to let them use the MetroCourt for the Nurses Ball, but there’s a slight hitch. Bobbie says, already? What is it? Maxie says, or who is it?

Outside the door on the phone, Carly gives Pilar instructions for Donna, and says she’ll be home as soon as possible. She hears Bobbie say, this is outrageous, and Maxie says, it’s unacceptable. Carly says, on second thought… She goes inside, and Bobbie says she’s not talking to that woman. It’s not part of her duty as co-chair, and Carly asks, what’s going on here? Bobbie says, the Nurses Ball needs a new home, and Maxie says, and if they don’t find one soon, the Nurses Ball is not happening.

Finn tells Victor that treating his condition is no simple matter. A pathogen is an organism that causes disease to the host. The severity of those symptoms depends on its virulence. Victor says, the symptom he’s experiencing is virulent in the extreme, and Finn says, what is uncommon is for a pathogen to cause such a specific immune response. Victor asks if it could affect his other organs, but Finn says, it’s not invasive. It doesn’t seem to spread to other organs or tissues. The affects are localized, and very specific. Victor asks what all that means, and Finn says, the pathogen has a mission; one it has achieved. I wonder if he’s laughing at Victor in his head.

Dante says, Cody told him that he didn’t deserve Mac in his life after what he did. What did he do? Cody says he screwed up, and doesn’t know how to make it right, and Dante says, he lied about the first DNA results. He said Mac wasn’t his father, when in actuality, he is. Why did he do that?

Mac tells Felicia, his visit with Cody was great at first. Hell, he likes Bludger. She says, his favorite obscure Australian beer no one knows about. So what went wrong? He says he doesn’t know. They got to talking, then Cody clammed up. She says, it sounds like Cody’s not exactly in touch with his feelings, and Mac says, you can’t really blame him. He lived on an estate that wasn’t his, on the outside looking in. He bets that’s why Cody’s always looking for the next payday.

Laura says, it’s too soon to make any major decisions about Charlotte’s inheritance, and Drew says, because Valentin only recently died. She nods, and he says he hopes his proposal didn’t seem insensitive, but she says, no. He says he’s just trying to heal a family rift, and she says, there’s no need to apologize. She can see why a proposal makes sense from his perspective, but whatever happens with Valentin’s shares isn’t up to her.

Valentin asks if Lucy said a llama that doesn’t spit, and Lucy says, duh. There was a llama in 2017; great llama. There was Lloyd the next year; great llama. Everyone knows you don’t hire Loraine because she’s a great expectorator. There’s all the rehearsals to plan for the musical numbers, the costuming, not to mention the orchestral needs. Anna says she really feels how disappointed Lucy is not to be part of the Nurses Ball this year. She gets it. Lucy says, no she doesn’t. She has no idea. She’s been the Mistress of Ceremonies since the 90s; the only one. It’s the 60^th anniversary of GH, and she has to be there to chair all the committees, planning everything with her friends and with Marty. Instead, she’s stuck here with the two of them. No offense. It’s just totally unfathomable. She storms to the bedroom, and Anna says, she’s not wrong. The beauty of the Nurses Ball is that it really does bring people together. Their time, their talent, for such a worthy cause; Robin’s cause. She’s not the only one who’s really sad not to be part of the Nurses Ball this year.

Carly asks why the MetroCourt needs a new venue… Um… I think she means Nurses Ball. Maxie says, it doesn’t, and no one said anything about having to grovel. Brook tells her, Olivia did say it was a joint decision, and Carly asks, what’s the problem? The Nurses Ball is always held at the MetroCourt. Bobbie says, while Carly was the co-owner, but Maxie says she’s sure they can still have the Ball there. Brook says, but it’s not only up to Olivia, and Carly says, ooh. She needs the agreement of her new partner – Nina. This is stupid even for them. Like Nina would say no.

Sonny asks who the sniper works for, but he says he doesn’t know. Sonny says, he doesn’t know who he works for? and the sniper says, contractor. The deal was anonymous. Tony checks the sniper’s pulse, and says, he’s not going to last much longer. Brick walks in with another man, and Sonny asks if he’s the doctor. Brick says, he’s very discreet, and Sonny says he needs to doctor to make sure the sniper stays alive, at least until he gets some answers. The doctor checks the sniper, and Sonny says, they don’t have all day, but the doctor says, he’s gone. Sonny says, son of a bitch! and Brick says, sorry about that, but Sonny says, it was a long shot anyway. He asks if the doctor can help Dex, but Dex says he’s good. Sonny insists, and the doctor checks out Dex. Brick wonders why Dex is always in the line of fire.

Felicia says, Cody’s job at the Quartermaine stables is a really good gig, and Mac says, Cody told him that he was selling his plasma for extra money. Plus, he’s seen Cody with Selina Wu on more than one occasion. It seems that money is the driving force with Cody. Felicia says, or he’s on a never-ending quest for stability. Can’t they help him with that?

Cody tells Dante that he knew Cesar Faison and Leopold Taub were members of some cartel in the 90s, and he thought maybe Faison had access to Taub’s money. So when he met Britt and found out she was Faison’s daughter… Dante says, Cody thought he could use Britt to get her father’s money. Did Cody ever really like Britt? Cody says he did eventually. His feelings for Britt made him take his eyes off the prize. Then it just fell into their laps, thanks to Peter August’s final effects and the safe deposit key. Dante says, then Cody met Mac, and it threw a wrench in his plans? and Cody says, that necklace belonged to Taub, in the late 80s, early 90s. Then it just mysteriously showed up in the safe deposit box of Faison’s son? He really believed that necklace was his birthright. Dante says, except the DNA test proved it wasn’t Cody’s birthright, and he lied. Cody says, his mother was an heiress, who gave away every dime to her daughter, some woman he’s never even met, who ended up giving away what was supposed to be his half of the inheritance to save the whales. Don’t get him wrong; he likes whales. He likes dolphins too, but right now, they’re doing better financially than him. That necklace was supposed to be his shot. Dante says, he lied to Mac; he used Britt. Maybe Sam was right about him.

Finn says, the good news is, this pathogen has low toxigenicity, and Victor says, and the bad news? Finn says, the microorganism is not one that naturally occurs in Northern America, and Victor says he does have several international business associates. Could he have contracted it from one of them? Finn says, what he’s contracted is known as an obligate pathogen, which means it doesn’t survive for long outside of the human body. Victor says, so he couldn’t have gotten this from being in contact with anyone, and Finn says, highly unlikely. Victor asks, then how did he get it? and Finn asks if he has any enemies. Well, that’s a stupid question.

Laura tells Drew, Valentin’s stocks aren’t hers to sell, give, or trade; they belong to Charlotte. When she comes of age, she’ll decide whether to keep them. He says he respects that, and she says, unfortunately, it does put a pin in his family’s plans for ELQ. He says, the stock could be in far worse hands, thanks her for her time, and leaves.

Anna tells Valentin, for all her delusions of grandeur, Lucy’s right. She’s done so much to make the Nurses Ball a success, and she’s helped countless people along the way, Robin included. He says, forgive him; he didn’t even think of that. He shouldn’t have made light of her feelings. Anna says, in all fairness, she’s a real pain in… the thing. She just wishes Lucy could trust Maxie and Bobbie. They’re more than capable of making this happen. The show will go on. The Nurses Ball is bigger than all of them.

Maxie says, it’s an honor for the MetroCourt to host the Nurses Ball. She’s sure Nina won’t object. Bobbie says, if that woman makes them beg… and Carly says, they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. Meanwhile, she thanks Maxie for asking her to help; she’s honored. Maxie says, Carly is also essential, and Carly says, whatever she needs, don’t hesitate to ask. She can help organize, and would love to be on the entertainment committee. Maxie says, music to her ears. They have so much to get done in such a little amount of time. Carly says she only wishes she could save them from having to involve Nina, when Nina walks in and asks what Carly’s trying to keep from her this time.

The doctor wraps Dex’s wound, and says, Dex is lucky. A few millimeters over, it would have shattered his arm. Six inches, it would have blown a hole through his chest. Sonny asks Tony to let the doctor out, and make sure he gets paid. Brick asks Sonny, what happened here? and Sonny says, the shooter was right there. If Dex hadn’t spotted him, he would have been taken out. Brick says, nice little ambush spot; the guy was a pro. Sonny says he needs Brick to find out who hired him, and Brick looks through the sniper’s pockets, finding a cellphone. Sonny tells him, check the contacts, and Brick says, there’s only one contact. One message; an address and a time. He’ll see if he can dig out more data. Their guy is wearing no jewelry; no obvious tats. All he’s got on him is a key fob and a matchbook. Dex says, may I? holding out his hand, and Sonny says, go ahead. Brick gives him the matchbook, and he says, it’s The Highsider logo; the biker bar. Brick says, Dex might just be useful after all, and Sonny says, Brick has no idea. The kid saved his life. Brick rolls his eyes.

Maxie says, perfect timing, and Nina tells her, she would say so. Brook says, Nina brought Olivia soup. Isn’t that thoughtful? Nobody says anything, and Brook says she’ll bring the soup up to Olivia. Nina asks what she walked in on, and Maxie says, she and Bobbie are co-chairing the planning committee for the Nurses Ball. Nina asks when the Ball is happening, and Maxie says, three weeks. Nina says, that soon, and Maxie says, GH’s 60^th anniversary is coming up, and they didn’t want to break tradition, so they’re kind of hoping Nina and Olivia will let them use the ballroom at the MetroCourt. Nina is surprised Carly didn’t just pretend to agree, and Bobbie says, that’s something Nina would do. Carly says, the Nurses Ball can’t get off the ground without Nina’s consent. So does she want to keep making jabs or rise above her hatred for Carly for a good cause?

Brook comes downstairs as Drew walks in. He asks how Olivia is, and Brook says she thinks Olivia is secretly enjoying the opportunity to stay in bed and read. Seeing the doors closed, he asks if there’s a secret meeting, but she says, more like a gladiator match. It’s anyone’s guess who’s going to emerge from the arena alive.

Mac tells Felicia, as much as he’s grown to like Cody, he’s not their responsibility. He’s not family. She says she can’t explain it, but sometimes he feels like it.

Cody says he thinks he and Sam reached a truce, and Dante says, Cody stepped up for Sasha; she was impressed. But lying about who his father is… Cody says he knows. He screwed up. Even before the necklace burned up in that cabin, he regretted everything he did to get his hands on it, which is why he’s telling the truth now. Dante asks why he doesn’t tell Mac, and Cody says, that’s the reason he got the second test. He figured he could tell Mac the first test was the result of a lab error or something. Dante asks if Cody is going to tell Mac the truth, and wrap it up in another lie, and Cody says, there’s no winning with Dante. Dante says, there is. Just tell the absolute truth – all of it. If he wants to move forward with a relationship with Mac, start with transparency. Fess up. He can handle it, right?

Victor asks if Finn is suggesting he was deliberately infected, and Finn says, it’s not an accidental pathogen, so common means of transmission don’t apply here. Victor asks how he got it, and Finn says, either by injection, which would be invasive, and probably noticeable. More likely through ingestion. Victor says, so something he ate or drank, and Finn says, based on the timing of his symptoms, he’d say Victor contracted the pathogen late November, early December. Victor says, that doesn’t make it any easier to pinpoint, and Finn says he’ll ask for further tests to confirm. Victor says, Finn hasn’t mentioned treatment, and Finn says, research in this area of treatment is limited. Victor says, how so? He’s saying there’s no cure? Finn says, the damage done to Victor is not known to be reversable.

Brick says, so is that right? Dex saved Sonny’s life? Sonny says, he clocked the hit man before he could get a shot off. Dex pushed him out of the way. Dex says, Sonny returned the favor, and Brick wonders if they’re indebted to each other now. He’ll get the data on the phone and the rifle, and get back to Sonny. Sonny thanks him, and Brick says, of course (🍷). Sonny asks how Dex’s arm is, and Dex says, just a crease. Sonny tells Tony to have Dex help him get rid of the body. He’s tired of looking at it. They start to pick the sniper up, but Dex nearly falls over. Sonny has him sit down, and tells him, hydrate, giving him some water, but Dex says he wants to help Tony. Sonny says, Dex has lost a lot of blood, and he’s running on adrenaline. Take a drink. He’s no good to Sonny if he’s down for the count. Dex drinks some water, and asks who Sonny thinks sent the shooter. Sonny says, if anyone can find out, it’s Brick. How did Dex know to push him out of the way? Dex says he saw something out of the corner of his eye. In Afghanistan, sometimes that’s all the warning you got. Sonny says he was going to keep Dex out of the Pikeman deal; now Dex is in the middle of it. Drink up, and he’s going to take Dex home. Dex says, Tony can give him a ride, but Sonny says he’s not taking Dex to Dex’s place; he’s taking Dex to his place.

Dante says, Cody has to come clean all the way. Don’t give Mac a partial truth. Don’t rob him of the ability to make a choice. Cody says, Dante’s right. He can’t tell Mac that he’s his son unless he tells Mac that he lied about the first test, and why. Dante says, if it helps, he’ll be wherever Cody is going to talk to Mac, and Cody thanks him, but says, it’s not necessary. He won’t be telling Mac anything. Dante asks what Cody’s talking about. He’s going to let Mac live his life not knowing he has a son? Cody crumples up the paternity test, throws it into a garbage can, and says, it’s not like Mac raised him, so it’s no big loss. You can’t take away what someone never had. Dante says, you can actually. Why would Cody deprive him of that? Deprive him of getting to know his son. Why would he cheat himself out of all that? Cody says, maybe he doesn’t deserve it, and Dante asks if Mac deserves it. Cody says, what’s Mac losing? A son who’s beat up from stunt riding, and broke down from grifting. Dante says, so Mac pays the price because Cody doesn’t want to admit he screwed up? Cody says, it’s not a huge price; it’s him. Mac will be better off.

Mac says, Felicia treats everyone like family, when Laura approaches, and says she can confirm that. She wonders where Doc is, and Mac says, he wanted them to tell her that he had to see a patient. Felicia says, before that, he and Mac had a very nice chat, and Laura says she’s glad to hear that. She sits, and says, Doc doesn’t blame Mac for doing his job. Mac says he knows that; they’re good. Felicia says, as for the opposite of good… They all watch Victor walk in.

At the bar, Victor asks for two fingers of their best scotch, neat. Bartender Jamie (?) pours him a drink, and Victor thanks him. He’s about to take a sip, and flashes back to Finn telling him, it’s more likely he contracted the pathogen by ingestion; something he ate or drank. He asks for a new bottle, unopened, and Mac comes to the bar. He says his officers have been trying to contact Victor about the disappearance of his nephew Nikolas. Why has he been avoiding them?

Valentin says, Anna could be part of the Nurses Ball if it weren’t for his father, but she says, that’s all right. Mac and Felicia will be there, and they were there for Robin during the toughest part of her life. He says, what they’re doing now will put Victor away for good, and it will allow her to always be part of Robin’s future. Lucy comes out, looking at her tablet, and going, nope… nope… nope. She says she just looked at the MetroCourt ballroom calendar. For the next five months, there’s absolutely nothing. Anna is sure Maxie will find her way around that, and Lucy says she hopes so. Valentin says he’s sure her leadership will be sorely missed. Lucy sits down, and says she really wants… she needs the Nurses Ball to be special. Anna says, it will be. Despite all the glitz and glamour, it’s the mission that’s so important for people to celebrate. Lucy says, Anna is so right, and Anna says she thinks that mission will be realized… without all the pizazz Lucy could bring to it of course (🍷). Lucy says she likes pizazz. She could still do it. She starts to get up, but Anna says, no. She knows it’s going to hurt them all, but life is going on without them.

Nina says she’ll have to check the schedule, but they’ll make it work. Of course (🍷) the MetroCourt will host the Nurses Ball, as long as Olivia agrees. Maxie says, Olivia already gave them her blessing, and Nina says she hopes they’ll let her know if there’s anything else she can do to help… unless they don’t want her involved. Maxie says, of course (🍷) they want her help. Don’t we Bobbie? Bobbie says, sure; the more the merrier. Maxie says, they’re the most capable women she knows. As long as they can work together – peacefully – they can achieve anything. Carly says she’s in, and Nina says she’s in too. She asks Maxie and Bobbie to give her and Carly a couple of minutes alone. Maxie can’t leave fast enough, and Carly nods to Bobbie, who follows.

Bobbie and Maxie go into the foyer, and Brook says, perfect timing. Please tell Drew that he has to perform at the Nurses Ball. Maxie asks if he can carry a tune, and Brook says, he can; he sings in the shower. He says, she hears him? and she says, the acoustics are weird in this house. Bobbie is sure he has some moves, and Drew says, all right. What would he have to do? Maxie says she’s sure he’s heard of Magic Milo and His Magic Wands, and Drew is like, uh… Bobbie says, it’s for charity. The least he can do is give them that shirt off his back.

Carly asks why Nina asked to speak to her privately. It’s not like their issues are secret. Nina says, it’s not about their privacy; it’s about Willow’s.

Dex says he’ll be fine, but Sonny says, no argument; it’s an order. Brick comes back, and Sonny says, any luck with the phone? but Brick says he’s still trying to dig out data. There were some prints from it though. The guy’s not from any registry he can access. He was a ghost. Sonny says, what about the weapon? and Brick says, it’s been modified, probably by the shooter. He can tell Sonny the original manufacturer, but there’s no serial numbers; it’s untraceable. Sonny asks what Brick’s thinking, and Brick says, a guy who doesn’t exist with an untraceable rifle. He’d say Sonny has a very, very powerful enemy. Hmm… I was wondering if Dex hadn’t set it up.

Brook says she has the perfect song, and runs to get her phone. Maxie goes with her, and Bobbie tells Drew, Carly and Nina are in there, and she doesn’t hear any furniture breaking, but… Drew says, it might not be long.

Carly says, now Nina is concerned about Willow’s privacy. She wasn’t concerned at all when she accused Willow of having an affair with TJ. What ticks me off is how Carly acts like it’s unfathomable you might perceive someone differently if you suddenly find out they’re family, especially your child. Nina says, this is about her health, and Carly says, if Willow wants Nina to know about her health, Willow will tell her. Nina says, that’s just the thing, she has, when there’s a knock at the door, and Drew asks if he’s interrupting. Nina asks him to join them; the three of them are privy to Willow’s health updates. Carly says, since when? and Nina says, since she had a conversation with her daughter, and Willow promised to keep her in the loop going forward.

Dante says he hates seeing Cody doing this to himself. He cares about Mac, and he cares about Cody. Why is he sabotaging himself? Why does he think he doesn’t deserve good things? And he’s not talking about fancy jewelry. Cody says, some secrets are meant to be kept, but Dante says, not this one. He knows what Cody sacrificed. Stop punishing yourself. Mac is a great guy. He’s surrounded by this beautiful family. Cody has an opportunity here to come out with the truth, and have these good people embrace him and give him a life he’s never known. Come on. Come clean.

Victor asks Jamie to leave the bottle, and tells Mac that he’s a very busy man. He pours himself another drink, and Mac says, a busy man with a big thirst. Victor says, it’s not illegal, is it? and Mac says, as long as he doesn’t intend to drive. Or harbor a fugitive. Victor asks where exactly he would do that. In his suite at the MetroCourt? Mac says, it wouldn’t be the first time he gave Nikolas a safe haven. Did he smuggle Nikolas to some island somewhere? Victor pours a third drink, and Mac asks, where’s Nikolas? Victor says, Mac’s guess is as good as his, and Mac says, Elizabeth Baldwin told the PCPD that Victor cleaned up evidence of Nikolas holding Esme Prince hostage. Victor tells him, that’s just hearsay, isn’t it? and Mac says he could haul Victor in for obstruction of justice. Victor says, can’t a man drink in peace around here? He doesn’t have a clue where his nephew is, and if Mac has any more questions, contact his attorney. As he leaves, he sees Laura and Felicia, and flashes back to Laura saying she’s going to put her family back together again, and when she does, she’s taking him apart. He walks over to Laura, and says, it was you. Laura asks, what was me? and he says, it had to be her.

Dante tells Cody, do the right thing, but Cody says, maybe saying nothing is the right thing. Dante walks out, and Cody takes the paternity test out of the garbage can, uncrumples it, and looks at it.

Mac goes over to the table too, and Victor says he knows what Laura’s done. She says, really. What has she done? He says she’s a vindictive… She’s determined to strip him of his power, and humiliate him in the process. She says, he doesn’t need her for that. When his life falls apart, and it will, he’ll have more than her to blame. He says, but she’s the one who will pay the most dearly. Mutually assured destruction. She struck the first blow, and now they both have everything to lose.

Anna tells Lucy that she hates missing the Nurses Ball too, but they all have to make sacrifices. Lucy says, but they don’t need Anna; they need her. Valentin says, but they can’t have her, can they? and Lucy says, that’s not his decision to make. She gets up, and Anna says, she can’t risk being seen, but Lucy says, oh yeah? Anna did. Anna left here for several hours the other day, doing God knows what. Valentin says, she’s a professional, and Lucy asks if they’re forgetting she was an asset too. And she was very effective if they remember. Anna says, what she remembers is, they’re in this mess because Lucy wouldn’t follow her orders, so Lucy is going to follow her orders now. You sit tight and you zip it. Lucy stomps back to the bedroom, and Anna says she thinks that went very well.

Brook says, both Carly and Nina are going to be on the planning committee? and Maxie says she thinks they make a formidable team. Bobbie says, if they survive.

Carly asks why Nina is asking her about Willow if Willow is giving Nina updates on her health, and Nina says, because Willow is sick, and she didn’t want to bug her about updates. She assumed Willow said it was okay to fill her in. Carly says, no, she didn’t, and asks if Drew knew, but he says he hasn’t spoken to Willow at all. If it helps, he can ask Willow and Michael, what’s the best way to share information. Carly says, anything else? and Nina says, once again, Carly’s disapproval speaks volumes. Carly says, they all know how dangerous Nina is with the tiniest bit of information. Nina says, she’s dangerous? If it were up to Carly, she’d still be in the dark about her daughter. Carly says, so much for being cordial, and Nina says, she’s right. She’s not going to argue for Willow’s sake, but she will say, Carly is no longer the gatekeeper of information. And it would serve Carly well to have this in the back of her mind. Nina knows a lot more than Carly thinks she does. She leaves, and Drew stops Carly from following.

Brick says, the shooter was contracted by a professional outfit, possibly an agency. Dex says, like the WSB? and Sonny says, whatever it is, they’re going to be very sorry.

Tomorrow, Esme says she has to trust her instincts; Spencer asks, what’s the real reason Cameron is leaving; Alexis tells Sam, there’s more going on than Gregory is saying; and Sonny says, it’s the least he can do since Dex saved his life.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I tell my dogs, now it’s time to watch despicable people with too much money. Teresa visits therapist Tegan, and in Teresa’s interview, she says she’s been going to therapy for six months. She’d always been against it, but didn’t like the way she’d reacted to Marge – even though she felt it was valid. Louie was into therapy, and told her that she didn’t have to react. She tells Tegan that her way of fixing a problem is lashing out, and in her interview, she says, her delivery is not always the way it should be, which is putting it mildly. We flash back to some choice moments, like her table flip, and she says, her therapist is teaching her how to approach things differently and communicate more. She tells Tegan that boys night did not go good [sic] and her brother told Louie to go f*** himself a million times. Louie said Joe #2 must be in pain, and had her call Joe, asking if he wanted to make peace. He said he did, but he didn’t come to her housewarming, and it was hurtful. She wished her parents were there, and her brother not being there was weird. She only has her brother, and nieces and nephew. Growing up, her father and a cousin didn’t talk for six years over $200. In her interview, Teresa says, her father was strong and stubborn. He never told her that he loved her until she finally started saying it. That’s how her parents were raised. She tells Tegan that she doesn’t want her kids grow up without cousins. Melania and Antonia were close, but haven’t come to each other’s parties. She says, Joe’s temper was out of control, and Tegan says, Teresa was petrified of her dad, so it’s triggering. Teresa says, the toxicity hurts, and Tegan says, she can make it stop by her choices of reaction. If it doesn’t, her only choice is to move on. Wow. Remind me to never use this therapist. As Dr. Phil says, there’s two sides to every pancake, and she’s just believing everything Teresa says. Obviously, she’s never seen the show. And if Teresa is so concerned about losing her only remaining family member (according to her), why doesn’t she act like a normal human?

Jen comes over to visit Marge post-surgery, bearing cookies and flowers. Marge says, they had to rebreak her arm. She’s going to sit on the sidelines and cheer at the baseball game. Jen says she’s doing the same, since nobody wants to see her ruining to first base. Marge says, Jennifer fell flat on her faced last year, and we flash back to that. Jennifer told Bill that she didn’t want him to be nice to Marge at the game. Marge told Melissa that she should leave Joe #2 for a baseball player. This came from Marge’s friend Laura, and when she repeated it to Marge, Marge got so worked up, she called Jennifer a disheveled drug addict. She’s a shampoo commercial, and Marge is an albino with a wig. In Jennifer’s interview, she says, she smokes weed when the kids are asleep, and it’s legal. Marge will find anything remotely negative, and throw it in her face with no regard for how it will affect Jennifer’s life. Marge either isn’t thinking kids or she’s just plain stupid. Marge asks if Jen thinks Jennifer is mad, since she booted Jen out of her house. Jen says, Jennifer texted her, saying she was sorry, but Jen’s friend wouldn’t stop poking at her. Another thing Dr. Phil says is, the word but means forget everything I just said and now I’ll tell you what I really think. Marge says, Jennifer is a f***ing loser, but Jen says, that display was not Marge, screaming like a 16 year old. Jennifer bringing up Marge’s kids was inexcusable, but Marge was her main concern. Jennifer tells Bill that Jen seemed rational, but Dolores was like a mute, and everybody sat there letting Marge rip her apart. In Jennifer’s interview, she says, everybody is afraid of Marge, and thinks they should be on their best behavior to keep Marge quiet. She’s like an evil master puppeteer. Jennifer is off her rocker. I’ve never once gotten that fear vibe from any of them. Marge tells Jen that she’s not going to say a word to Jennifer at the game, or even acknowledge her.  

Dolores’s dad Lawrence comes over, and in her interview, she says she was nervous the first time he met Paulie, since her dad can be intimidating. We flash back to her telling her dad that he intimidated every boy she brought home. She says, Paulie knew how to play her dad like a fiddle. Lawrence says, if his little girl is happy, he’s happy, and in Dolores’s interview, she says, her dad is worried about her being alone, but she’s not dating to date. She’s gearing toward the future. She tells Lawrence that Paulie is going in for a heart procedure, and Paulie says, his heart skips in its rhythm. The procedure has a 90% success rate in it not happening again. Lawrence says, the family is with him, and in her interview, Dolores says, it’s scary. It’s been a long time since she was in a relationship that makes her happy, and she doesn’t want to lose it. She and Lawrence walk Dog, and Lawrence says, she seems happy. She says, Paulie is the type of man she needs in her life. He’s like Lawrence; he’s there for her and takes care of things. We flash back to Dolores telling her parents about the bad times with Frank, and in her interview, she says, Frank and the family were 100% her priority, whether Frank deserved it or not. Now Frank doesn’t need to be here. She tells her dad that she speaks less to Frank, and Lawrence says, there have to boundaries. Dolores wants Paulie to know he’s her number one man, and Lawrence thinks Paulie is good for her; they’re a good couple.

Rachel and husband John meet Melissa and Joe at the batting cages, for practice. In Rachel’s interview, she says she’s an ex-bodybuilding competitor. You have to be strong, but it doesn’t take coordination. She doesn’t often play softball, but she’s been to first base a couple times. They order food and wine, and Frank joins them. He whines about his and Dolores’s relationship not being the same, and Melissa says she doesn’t think Paulie will be as warm as David toward Frank. Frank says, Paulie is affecting the family dynamic, and in Frank’s interview, he says, it’s a shame. He was a good father, but not a good husband, and it’s one of his biggest regrets. He loves Dolores, and they worked hard to be where they are, and it’s not easy. It’s the furthest they’ve been from one another in years, and he’s sad. Melissa suggests he take a step back. Frank’s girlfriend Brittany joins them, and none of them do very well in the cages. Melissa tells them about Jennifer taking what Marge said out of context, and in her interview, she says, Jennifer is planning revenge against Marge for outing Bill’s affair, but she’s not jumping on the bandwagon.

Rachel tells Melissa about Teresa saying, it’s better to be Marge’s friend than her enemy, and Melissa says Teresa is fake, and hates Marge. In Melissa’s interview, she says she sees Louie. He’s charming and manipulating, and told Teresa to be nice to Marge. In Marge’s interview, she says she needs to stop telling the truth about them.  – Rachel says, that’s why she’s not rolling with fake parade, but she didn’t know what say. In Rachel’s interview, she says she didn’t ask anyone’s opinions, and she’s not afraid of anybody, so there’s that. Melissa says, Jennifer is trying to ice Marge out, and in her interview, Rachel says she doesn’t give a flying. She’s a good judge of character and won’t be influenced.

Dolores is informed they have at least 3500 people, and in Dolores’s interview, she says, the baseball game was a major success last year. They made $180K, but for her, this year has to be better. She has a little something-something that’s going help bring in cash. They’re going to sell the Sexy Husband Calendar at the ballpark; it’s the hottest thing ever. We see the photo of Frank in rabbit ears, and he looks like a grumpy Easter bunny. It’s so funny, I might buy it just for that. Evan and Jackie arrive, and again, I’m flummoxed as to why she’s not a wife this season. Brittany and Frank come in, followed by Marge, who says, she’s on drugs, so she’s okay. Danielle asks how it’s going after the fight with Jennifer at Jen’s house, and Marge says, if she has a fight and they make up, she thinks they made up. Jennifer is crazy, and told everyone that she’s trying to break up Melissa’s marriage. All she was doing was trying to make Melissa feel better, and said she was so gorgeous, she could be with any ballplayer. In Danielle’s interview, she says, don’t tell her that to build her up. Say her boobs look perky today, not that she should be married to someone else. Another wow. These people read a lot into nothing. Danielle says she likes Jennifer, and while Jennifer discouraged her being friends with Marge, she said she’d keep an open mind, but an eye out. She says, Teresa told her that Marge was better to be kept as a friend than an enemy, and in Marge’s interview, she says, look who’s talking. We flash back to Teresa throwing an entire table full of stuff at Marge in a restaurant, and Marge says, clearly, she’s the worst enemy known to man. In Danielle’s interview, she says she can’t wrap her head around a friend digging up dirt on another friend, and tells Marge, that’s why Jennifer is vicious. She’s struggling with who Marge is. Marge says, Jennifer is suffering, and Jennifer arrives with bland Bill.  

Oh my God. This has only been on a half hour and it feels like a year.

Jennifer says she’s not acknowledging Marge, and Marge says, charity behavior all day. It looks like the diamond is near Coney Island, where I spent a few times playing hooky from work, and spent many a weekend on Brighton Beach nearby. Teresa and Louie get there last, and in Joe #2’s interview, he says he’s keeping his distance. Teresa can switch from zero to a hundred in an instant, and he has to defend himself before it becomes ugly. They bond over the calendar, and in Teresa’s interview, she says, this is the Joey she likes. It’s the way it always should be, especially around the children. The crowd cheers Dolores, who thanks them for coming to the Battle for Brooklyn to support Maimonides Health. In Melissa’s interview, she wonders if a new ballplayer would hit better than Joe. In Joe’s interview, he says, they suck. The doctors are going to kick the sh*t out of them. In Jennifer’s interview, she says, last year, they had a professional athlete on their team. We flash back to Tiki Barber, and she says she doesn’t know if Joe #2 is tall enough to catch the ball. Rachel tells Jennifer that Olivia broke her heart, saying she wants to be a love therapist; it’s kind of ironic. Jennifer tells Rachel that Olivia never said that before. She’d wanted to be a Broadway star. In her interview, Jennifer says she never spoke about the infidelity for this reason, and doesn’t know what to do. Every time they argue, Olivia tells them to remember they love each other. She’d wanted to protect them.

Dolores explains that Paulie isn’t there because he’s going to have heart surgery tomorrow, and Melissa says she thought it was because he didn’t want to be around Frank. Frank says he misses his and Dolores’s relationship. She doesn’t take his calls, and when he texts, she replies that she’ll call him later. He was crying the other day, which is unusual. Melissa says he’s going to make her cry. Joe #2 hugs Frank, and in Dolores’s interview, she says, Frank doesn’t like change. After the divorce, nothing changed, but he can’t make her feel guilty for being in a relationship she deserves. Knock it off. The score is 8 to 2 in favor of the doctors, and in Marge’s interviews, she says, thank God the kids are stepping in; the old-timers are not doing great. In Gia’s interview, she says her cousins are growing up fast, and it reminds her that she’s not able to be there for them as much as she wants to. It feels like Joe #2 and Melissa are trying to put a wedge between them, and it doesn’t sit well with her. The final score is 9 to 8 with the RHONJ team winning. In her interview, Dolores says, it feels good to be able to do this, and she’s proud of everybody – and the $200K they raised. She can’t wait for next year. Everyone watches the fireworks after the game.

Boring Bill and Jennifer go to therapist Judy, and in Jennifer’s interview, she says, Bill has always been against therapy, but when she told him that Olivia wanted to be a love therapist, he had nothing to say, but say there in shame. He never wants to talk about anything, but it’s the key to a healthy relationship. Learning how this affected Olivia made him want to go. Judy asks what brings them here, and Jennifer says, when she was pregnant with their 4^th child, Bill cheated on her. She didn’t tell anybody, and pretending like it never happened was her process. Someone found out, and brought it up, so now everybody has to process it, including the kids. Bill told their oldest son, and she told Gabriella, but Olivia saw it on TikTok. In her interview, Jennifer says, Olivia asked her if all men cheat. (The short answer: yes.) Judy says, Jennifer seems most concerned about how it affects the kids, and Jennifer says it bothers her that Olivia wants to be a therapist. When she sees them bicker, she tells them to kiss. Judy says, Olivia wants security. For ten years, Jennifer forgot and forgave, so how did Bill feel as a father when it became public. Bill says, in the kids’ eyes, their mom is perfect, and their dad is hard on them. Now with the infidelity, he can’t push the kids, and some kids need micromanagement. Jennifer says, they’re outnumbered five to two, with only one participating parent. Bill put everything on her shoulders, and she feels like an employee being told her boss doesn’t like the job she did. Bill says his job is 24/7 stress, and Jennifer says, he goes straight to the pool house when he comes home from work, and only comes in after they’ve finished dinner. What about a hello? Judy says, Bill is very silent, and Jennifer says, everything is always brushed under the rug. At this point, she’s fed up. She’s not a subordinate, but an equal partner, and needs to be met halfway. Judy tells Bill, it’s not that Jennifer doesn’t appreciate his efforts, but she feel lonely, and in her interview, Jennifer says, she’s had up to here. Show her that he cares, or she’s going to check out. Judy says, Jennifer needs Bill to be there, and suggests they address the issue at another appointment. Bill says, great, but without much enthusiasm.

Next time, a pseudo Shore weekend; Jennifer says, Melissa and Joe #2 are always Team Marge, and she probably has something on them; a Hawaiian themed party where Bill ends up crawling; Marge confronts Teresa; and Danielle hears her name coming from a conversation she’s not involved in.

🏖 On the nightmare that is Summer House, we started off by returning to Kyle’s drunken rant about Lindsay and how she’s in Carl’s ear, and I immediately wanted to shove something in Kyle’s ear. Like a railroad spike. Kyle went outside, hollering the whole way, and finishing with yelling, f*** everyone for giving Lindsay so much power. Interesting, since he seems to be the only one who’s given her power, although he’d probably just be ranting about something else if she wasn’t there. Carl just sat there, and Danielle told him to do something, like that was going to happen. He said he wasn’t going to argue with Kyle right now, and would speak to him at the right time. Danielle hunted down big baby Amanda, who was busy crying and saying she didn’t want to be here. Me neither. Kyle continued his tirade in the, saying that Lindsay was ruining everything. I’m not even sure how we got here, since this started with Amanda being upset with Danielle. He stomped back in and went to his room, while Danielle complained to Mya that Carl was saying nothing. In Carl’s interview, he said he was angry and frustrated. Kyle yelling at his girlfriend was ugly and disrespectful. The old Carl would have beat the f*** out of him, but he doesn’t want to live like that. Bravo to Carl. Ciara told Kyle to chill, since he was clearly not fine, and he said it stemmed back to Lindsay. Lindsay said she was the one who felt hurt, since she’d done nothing, yet it was all her fault. She told Sam that it was clear Amanda didn’t want to be friends. Amanda talked sh*t about her, even though Lindsay had never talked sh*t about Amanda, and Amanda and Kyle were now a package deal. Danielle said Carl just sat there while Lindsay was annihilated by Kyle, and in Lindsay’s interview, she said she wished Carl would say something, but she understood. He was trying to figure out how to communicate his feelings and emotions being a sober person. Kyle said, everybody could s*ck his fat d*ck, and Lindsay, in a moment of clarity, said she was too old for this. Kyle said he was tired of sugarcoating, while Lindsay got away with murder, clearly not remembering what he does every time he’s drunk. Hint: It’s not sugarcoating. Gabby said she was exhausted after week with Kyle, and Lindsay said she’d put in 7 years. In the morning, Amanda texted a half-assed apology to Lindsay, while Kyle said Lindsay was a horrible, sick person who his best friend thought he was going to marry. Carl apologized to Lindsay, but said he wasn’t going to fight someone who’d been drinking all day and was now saying crazy sh*t. Go Yoda Carl. Lindsay said she wasn’t upset, and Kyle said he wished he hadn’t said what he said, but didn’t regret it. Get that boy a dictionary. Carl said he could literally bury Kyle. I’ll bring the shovel.

Kyle told Amanda that the challenging part was not saying mean things, because it’s hard when you’re 12. Carly told Lindsay that he didn’t want to talk to anybody; he had nothing to say. Amanda suggested Kyle make a better effort not to let her and Lindsay’s relationship get in the way of his and Carl’s. Carl decided Kyle wasn’t his friend, and he wanted to leave. The other girls toddled to the kitchen for pizza rolls and morning beer, which Danielle dubbed the breakfast of champions. friend. Mya called Oliver and said the Craig/Lindsay situation from last year was nothing in comparison. In his interview, Chris said that summer in the Hamptons was supposed to be fun; getting away from the city to have a good time. How cute of him. The girls decided they’d be pooling today, while Carl and Lindsay got the hell out of there. Lindsay told Danielle that at the end of the day, she was 37, and didn’t need to yell and scream to get her point across. Danielle blamed it on the sad, stupid f***ing slumber party, and told Amanda that she didn’t mean what she’d said about not trusting her. In Amanda’s interview, she said she forgave Danielle because she felt Danielle’s apology was sincere. Danielle was a protective person, and fought Lindsay’s battles like no other. Kyle said he was trying to mentally get in a place where he could talk to Carl with the right words, but now Carl was gone. He felt bad and didn’t know what do, and wished he knew how bite his tongue. Um… don’t drink until ranting point? In his interview, Kyle said he hated putting Carl in an awkward situation, and he’d have to apologize, since Carl and Lindsay were a package deal. He couldn’t keep his lips shut to keep the peace. Amanda told him that he had to say he was sorry, unless he wasn’t. Kyle looked lost in thought, but he was probably thinking about his next beer.

Pool antics happened, and the housemates trickled out, departing for the week, Kyle saying it was another disastrous weekend. That’s another thing. Why the hell do these people keep doing this when it always turns out badly? Oh yeah. The definition of crazy. Back in the city, Gabby and sister Danielle played tennis with Sam and Danielle #1. After two seconds, they called a water break. Gabby said she was in between job offers, and in her interview, she said she’d been working in the fashion industry since graduating college. She worked for a magazine, ignoring the signs the job was not the best for her, and ended up fired. Now she was second guessing her new job offers. Danielle #2 said she needed to focus on what she wanted. I think all of these people should focus on getting some therapy. Carl went to Asbury Park to meet mom Sharon, and in his interview, he said she was the anchor of his life. The house was triggering, and his mom reminded him that he was capable. Of what, he didn’t say. Being sober? Sane? Too old for this? She asked if living with a girl was a pain in the ass, but Carl said he and Lindsay were a good team. Because of her support, he hadn’t had a drink in 19 months, but he was struggling to find out who he is. Sharon suggested that we all do that until we die. Carl wasn’t sure how to handle Kyle’s anger, and Sharon said she just wanted Carl content and happy. Kyle said his brother Curtis had a lasting impact on him and how he lived his life. Curtis had saved his life. He saw how it could end for him if didn’t take things seriously. This was one of those rare moments where the show is actually good.

In Gabby’s interview, she said she loved the disco era, and was planning a Studio Fifty Forest party. She said she fined people if they ruined her party. Paige arrived, and asked Danielle how the previous weekend had been. Danielle said they’d had a slumber party and played games. It started off fun, but ended dramatically. She’d unintentionally hurt Amanda’s feelings, and Lindsay piggybacked on Amanda’s stuff. Kyle yelled about Lindsay, and Lindsay and Carl left early. Paige said, oh great. I can’t wait for the weekend. She got lucky though, since Kyle and Amanda were at a family reunion. Danielle said she thought family time did a soul good, and Paige said, as she got older, she found herself wanting to hang out with her parents. Little by little, everyone arrived, and Sam said she’d had a date with an Australian guy named Tim, who was potentially coming by for this weekend’s party. In Sam’s interview, she said they’d met in Montauk, and it was the best date she’d had in a year, and she has high standards. The girls talked about dating, and Gabby griped about a Taurus she’d gone out with. Sam wondered why she kept the door partially closed just for an astrology sign. Carl and Lindsay showed up, and Sam asked if it was going to be weird now with Kyle and Amanda, but they weren’t sure.

The housemates went dancing, and had green tea shots, which actually sounded good. In Danielle’s interview, she said she wasn’t used to seeing Carl and Lindsay isolating themselves. Remember her? Ah, third wheel syndrome. Gabby said it was interesting being with people who didn’t know her, and it made her reexamine how people see her. She had undealt with trauma, and didn’t trust herself. She felt immobilized, worrying if she’d make the wrong decision. These people must have other friends, right? Right? Danielle and Ciara had to explain to Gabby that they needed alcohol and food for the party, since she was used to hiring people to deal with that. They decorated, and Gabby said the theme of the party said she was extra. Mya told Ciara that she hadn’t cracked the Gabby code yet, and Ciara said, Gabby was missing out on authenticity.

Carl told Chris and Sam that he was doing his best to navigate coming back, but didn’t want to be around people who treated people like that. The girls, minus Lindsay who was glued to Carl, talked about Lindsay drinking again. Ciara said her dad was an alcoholic, and her parents had no alcohol at their wedding, and there was never any in the house to support him. They agreed Carl was moving too fast, and Danielle said he was talking about getting engaged, which was crazy, since you lived a fairytale for the first year.

Next time, a dachshund who catches ping pong balls; awkwardness; Carl asks if Kyle even likes him; Danielle says, Lindsay is so defensive it’s annoying; and Mya thinks it’s all going to lead to resentment.

🤡 Amusing moment. On Watch What Happens Live, guest Chloe Fineman mixed up Keith Urban with Keith Richards.

✈️ Gotta Jet…

Join me tomorrow for soap and VanderHappenings. Until then, stay safe, stay keeping your head above water even if it means treading, and stay not giving a partial truth, and robbing someone of the ability to make a choice.