What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Brook tells Chase it’s almost time for him to face the music – literally. Unless he doesn’t plan to uphold his end of the bargain. He says, is she kidding? Leo brought it. She says, big time, and thanks him for being so supportive of her brother. He says, Leo is a pretty great kid, and she says he’s pretty great too. We see someone is watching them, when Leo runs up to Chase, asking if Chase likes his party. Chase says, it’s very cool, and Leo tells him, that’s what he said. Chase says, it’s a pretty big day for Leo. He’s a superstar performer, the birthday guy, and it looks like he has a lot of presents. Leo says, Chase is still going to sing, right? That’s his present from Chase. Chase says, Leo kept his end of the bargain; he’ll keep his. They shake hands.

Carly asks Dante if she can steal Sam for a minute, and Dante says, Carly can borrow her. He steps away, and Sam says she thought they weren’t talking, but Carly says, the whole Harmony thing puts life in perspective. How about Sam and Dante? It looks like they’re going strong. Sam says, they’re getting in a good groove, and Carly says, as much as she hates to disrupt that, does Sam have any information on Esme?

Esme tells Nikolas that she’s sorry Ava doesn’t see him the way she does, putting her hand on his. He says, what way is that? and she says, as a shelter from the storm; someone decisive that can and should make the right decisions as head of his family. He extracts his hand, and says, Ava is a very independent woman. Esme says, it’s a generous description for the way Ava treats him, and he asks how Esme would describe it. She says, no offense, but to her, Ava seems ungrateful.

Spencer says his friendship with Trina is none of Ava’s concern, but she says, yes, it is. Trina isn’t just her employee; she’s much more than that. He says he knows, she’s like a daughter, and Ava says, as a matter-of-fact, she is, and she’ll always look out for Trina. He says, Trina can take care of herself, and doesn’t need Ava to look out for her, but Ava says, thanks to him and Esme, Trina needs all the help she can get. He says, Trina has protectors she doesn’t even know about, and Ava asks, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

In an unidentified restaurant, Brando says he thinks he may be the luckiest man alive, because he’s here at this fine establishment on this fine of days, with two… Gladys says, please don’t say fine, and he says, two of the sharpest, most beautiful, most exciting women he knows. Gladys says, and lucky for them he picked this place. She loves the food here. She asks what Sasha is thinking of ordering, but Sasha says she doesn’t know; she’s not really hungry. Gladys says, they need fuel. Even though they eloped, and got married – not in the presence of Brando’s mother – they still have to plan their wedding reception. Brando says, sounds fun. Right, Sasha? Sasha looks over at the bar, and sees the photographer (whose name I finally find out is Felty), and he raises his glass.

Michael approaches Drew and Olivia at Leo’s party, and Drew asks if Willow is okay. Michael says, she’s just tired, and Olivia says, she bets. After all that poor girl has been through this week, it’s a miracle she’s still standing. Michael says, he offered to go home with her, but she thought he and Wiley should stay and enjoy the party. He gives Olivia a gift bag, saying, it’s from both of them, and Olivia tells him to thank Willow. She’s glad he and Drew are there, and Michael says, it’s Leo’s birthday. Drew says, they wouldn’t be anywhere else.

Ned tells Valentin, make it quick. He has to go back to his son’s birthday party. Valentin says he thinks Ned can spare a couple of minutes to discuss their ultimate ouster at ELQ, and Ned says, he’s not the one who’s going to be voted out. Valentin asks if there’s a guarantee Ned will be voted in once he’s gone, because from where he stands, he and Ned are in the same boat. They need to work together to make sure they’re not cut loose because of Drew.

Sam tells Carly, she was able to confirm some of the information on Esme. She was adopted, biological parents unknown. Her adoptive parents come from old money, most of which was put in trust for their children. Carly says, children? Esme has siblings? Sam says, they’re not in communication, she doesn’t think. Carly says, no mysterious deaths, accidents, or prison sentences? and Sam says, nothing. There’s not even a criminal record in Europe. She doesn’t think there’s much to go on here. Carly says, it could mean Esme just hasn’t been caught yet. Is there someone else Sam could talk to? Someone who knows Esme? Sam says she can think of one person.

Spencer says, thanks to Ava, he has tables to wait on. So instead of trying to manage his relationships, try focusing on her own. She says, if only it were that simple. Her relationship just affects her and Nikolas. His and Esme’s relationship affects countless others. He’s sided with a very disturbed young woman who’s hurt a lot of people in this town, including, especially, Trina. So his warped entanglement with Esme isn’t just her business; it’s everybody’s. He says he doesn’t see it that way, and she says, see it this way. His father may be snowed, but she’s going to make sure Esme pays for what she’s done. He says, if she’s finished, he has dirty dishes to collect, since she’s so fond of reminding him that he doesn’t have a penny to his name.

Nikolas tells Esme, prefacing a statement with no offense doesn’t allow her to say anything. He won’t allow her to disrespect his wife. She says she’s sorry for overstepping. She only said it because it pains her to see how much Ava disrespects him. He’s a good man; a man who goes out of his way to make people feel loved and cherished. Does Ava not appreciate that? Esme does. It’s what he’s done for her.

Dante says, Leo is making Chase sing, and Sam says, really? Is Chase the only one, or will there be others? He says he doesn’t know. It’s Leo’s birthday; he probably gets whatever he wants. She says, too bad she has this work thing to go to, and he says, otherwise she’d stay and serenade him in front of all these people? He kisses her and tells her, go do what she’s got to do, but hurry back.

Brook asks Leo what song he asked Chase to sing, but Leo says, he can’t tell anybody. She says, so that’s how it’s going to be, and tells Chase, you, spill. He says, all will be revealed in due time, and Olivia watches them, looking amused. Leo asks, when’s due time? and Chase says, for them, it’s when the singing starts. Leo asks Olivia if they can do it soon, and she says, it’s his party; they’re on his timeline. Leo says he needs his dad. Where is he?

Ned says, just tell him why he’s here. What does Valentin want? Valentin says, word on the street is, there’s a merger between ELQ and Aurora brewing, and Ned says, he’ll have to ask Michael and Drew about that. Valentin says, that’s why they’re talking. Looks like they have Ned on the outside looking in. Ned says he’s going to end this conversation by wishing Valentin well. And in the interest of keeping peace, he won’t mention to Michael and Drew that Valentin approached him. He’ll keep it between them. Valentin says, Michael and Drew are  already making decisions without Ned. Does Ned have absolute faith they’re not putting him out to pasture?

Felty looks at Sasha and gets up, and Sasha gets distracted. Brando says her name, and she says, sorry, what? He asks if she’s okay; she looks pale. Gladys says, Sasha might have a little blood sugar. She’ll get the waiter. She grabs Felty instead, and pulls him into the hallway. At the table, Brando says, it’s not her fault, and Sasha says, what isn’t? Brando says, the accident. Harmony ran into the road. There was no way Sasha could have stopped in time. She says, none of this would have happened if she’d been in control. Harmony’s death is her fault. She’s a mess.

Felty tells Gladys that she and her daughter-in-law already owe him a memory card. Don’t make him add a new shirt to the tab. Gladys asks why the hell he’s following them, and he asks, why the hell he isn’t talking to Sasha? His deal was with her. Gladys says, what deal?

Brando says he can’t imagine how difficult this is for Sasha, but he wishes she wasn’t so hard on herself. She asks what makes him think she’s being hard on herself, and he says, he knows her. She says, he knows her better than anyone? and he says, better than anyone.

Felty says Gladys doesn’t know about the deal, and she says, he means the deal Sasha doesn’t want her son to know about? That deal? He says, maybe, and she says, which is why Sasha sent her. It’s a little thing called discretion; look into it. He says, her running across the restaurant and grabbing him was real discreet, but now that they’re here, how about giving him his memory card? She says, keep your pants on, shutter-rat. First, what’s in it for them?

Brook says, Leo was amazing today, and Olivia says, he sure was. The theater program is really helping him out. Brook says, maybe, but Olivia and her dad are the ones with Leo, supporting him every day. Olivia says, it does take a village, but one villager in particular got Leo through the end zone today. Brook says, Leo’s really becoming attached to Chase, and Olivia says, he’s not the only one. Brook says she doesn’t know what Olivia means, but Olivia says, she does, and it’s high time she made her move.

Ned tells Valentin, let’s drop the pretenses. He knows Valentin didn’t invite him here to rub it in that he’s not the CEO. Valentin says, absolutely not, and Ned says, and despite his admiration for Valentin’s business acumen, Valentin must know Ned will side with his family over him. Valentin says, will he? There was a time Ned felt his role at ELQ had value and was secure, but Valentin is betting that’s not the case anymore. Ned says, that would be a risky bet, and Valentin says, which begs the question; is there something they can do so they both get what they want?

Drew says, what if Ned doesn’t take the COO position? but Michael says, he will. Ned’s a company man. He’ll always – Michael stops to look at Dante passing by – do what’s best for ELQ. Drew asks what that was about, and Michael says, his brother wants him to reconcile with his father. He’s been pretty insistent, but it’s not going to happen. Drew says, he knows things have been tense… but Michael says he doesn’t want to talk about Sonny. He’d rather focus on the merger. Drew says, Michael knows where they stand and what obstacles they’re facing. It’s not enough to have the family on board. They need investors to drive up Aurora’s stock. Carly pops out of nowhere, and says, they need investors? Count her in.  

Sam taps Spencer on the shoulder, and he tells her, he thinks they’ve said all they need to say. She asks if he’s sure; she just got here. He turns around, and gives her a hug. He says he’s sorry; he thought she was someone else. Can he get her something? She says, he can, and he says, a burger? Coffee? She says she’ll settle for a few answers, and he says, those traditionally require questions. She says, luckily, she has one, and he says, fire away. She asks, who is Esme? and he says he doesn’t understand. Esme is his girlfriend. She says she knows that, but aside from a few tiny details, that’s all anyone knows. Spencer knew her in Europe, and they’ve been a couple for a while. Even though a lot of people think she set Trina up, he decided to stand by her. She’s curious. Who is Esme Prince really? He says he has no idea.

Esme says, after Sonny threatened her, Windymere became her safe haven, and Nikolas says, it still is, but she says, she’s come to realize she’s not safe, not even here, not from Spence. He asks what Spencer did, and she says, he violated her privacy. She found him going through her things. He asks why Spencer did that, and she says, he still doesn’t trust her, and it breaks her heart. He says, Spencer shouldn’t have done that; he had no right. She says, no, he didn’t. The door opens, and Esme says, just like Ava has no right to tell Nikolas who can stay in his house. Ava comes in, and says, well, well, well.

Dante says, the Quartermaines have really embraced Chase with open arms, and Chase says, he thought that when they found out he wasn’t Bailey’s father, they’d want nothing to do with him, but it’s just the opposite. It probably has something to do with how well he gets along with Leo. Dante says, Leo? and Chase says, what else would it be? Dante says he’s pretty sure it doesn’t have much to do with Leo, and Chase says, he doesn’t know what Dante means. Dante suggests he talk to Brook about it.

Olivia says, if Brook has feelings for Chase, and she obviously does, she’s not the one Brook needs to tell. Chase is.

Valentin says, his takeover of ELQ was a power grab, absolutely, but he’s grown to care about the company. Obviously, Ned does as well; it’s the family business. It’s his children’s birthright, and they both know the merger with Aurora is risky. It’s unnecessary, and can seriously damage ELQ’s bottom line. Ned says he has to get back to the party, and Valentin says, absolutely. He hopes Leo enjoys his day, and suggests they talk again… before Drew and Michael freeze Ned out entirely. Ned leaves, and ponders a moment in the hallway.

Felty says, if Sasha sent Gladys, she should know the terms of the deal. Gladys says, of course (🍷) she knows the terms of the deal, but she needs to make sure he’ll honor them. He says, the terms of the deal stand; he’ll delete the incriminating photos, and Sasha gets what she needs. She says she’ll give him the card, but first she needs to see what he promised Sasha. He looks around, and shows her.  

Nikolas says, Ava’s home, and Ava says, yes, and so is Esme. Just like always. She heard Laura gave Esme the memo that she’s free to move about the city. Esme says, she’d gladly go, but PCU has barred her from campus; something about some Title IX investigation. Ava says, she’s banned, and Esme says, yes, and there aren’t many friendly places she can go. Ava says, poor Esme. If only she hadn’t left a swath of destruction and broken lives in her wake. Nikolas says, this conversation isn’t helping, and Ava says, perhaps he’s right. Perhaps it would help Esme to know that Spencer just failed in his latest attempt to convince Portia Robinson that he’s not the worst thing to ever happen to her daughter. Nikolas says, that’s not fair. Spencer doesn’t owe Trina or her horrible mother anything. Why was he even trying? Ava says, she doesn’t know, but if she were to guess, she’d say he still cares very much what Trina and her decidedly not horrible mother think of him. Esme says, that’s ridiculous. He doesn’t believe Trina is innocent. Ava says, if that’s true, he’s in the vast minority.  

Spencer wonders why Sam is asking about Esme, and she says, a lot of people think she’s guilty, and if it can be proven, he can go down as her accomplice. He says he had nothing to do with that sex tape, and she says she believes him. She thinks Esme orchestrated the sex tape, and framed Trina. But if she can do that, she can make people think Spencer is her accomplice. For his own sake, tell her everything he knows. He says he’s sorry; he can’t help her. She says she’s sorry too, because his inability or refusal to help her is getting in the way of her helping Trina. She starts to leave, but he stops her. He says, he’ll tell her, but he needs her word as a Cassadine not to reveal her source. She says, Cassadines lie, cheat, and steal. Why can’t she just give him her word as her? He says, that’s his point. She’s still a Cassadine; she’s just one of the good ones. She says, okay. She gives him her word as a Cassadine. He says, she wants to know who Esme is, he’ll tell her. Esme is a monster. And he’s doing everything he can to expose her.

Carly says, if it will help, she can buy shares in Aurora; she’ll just call her broker. Michael says, absolutely not, and she tells him, he said he needed investors. So she’ll just get on board. She believes in them. Drew says, that’s kind of her… and she asks if they’re going to deny her a lucrative investment opportunity. Michael says, she could have taken Sonny to the cleaners in the divorce, but just walked away with the house. Carly asks what not bankrupting Sonny in the divorce has to do with anything. Does he think she can’t afford it; she can. Michael says, if she was risking Sonny’s blood money, he would have no problem with her investing, but he can’t have her risking what’s hers.

Esme says, naturally Ava is protective of Trina. Trina is like a surrogate daughter to her. Since Sonny has primary custody of Avery, and since Kiki’s death, it’s understandable. Ava teleports to a few inches away from Esme, and says, this is her one and only warning. Keep her daughter’s name out of her mouth, or Ava will make her sorry she ever drew breath.

Sam says, Spencer is trying to stop Esme? How? He says, by gathering evidence to prove she’s behind Joss and Cam’s sex tape. She says she knows the goals, just tell her the method, and he says he’s pretending he’s still in love with Esme so he can dig up dirt in the meantime. She says, wow, and he says, she doesn’t think he can pull it off? Esme trusts him. She doesn’t have anyone else. She says, what she thinks is, he should stop what he’s doing and leave the rest to the professionals, but he says, that’s why he decided to tell her; so she can help him. She says she appreciates any information he’s willing to share, but they can’t be partners in this. It’s not a game. He says, at least let him be her eyes and ears. He wants to help Trina, the same as her. She says, okay. He’s been letting everyone, including Trina, think he’s on Team Esme for weeks now. As his cover. He says, yes. So he can get closer to Esme and gather evidence. She says, even though it’s taken a massive toll on his friendships, and he says, yes. She says, if he’s willing to do all that, he may be a good Cassadine too. So tell her what he knows.

Dante says, Brook is into Chase, and Chase says, he thinks so? Dante says, how can he not see it? and Chase says, the one time they kissed, she hightailed it out of the city. He figured… Dante tells him, why doesn’t he stop figuring things, and just ask Brook what she wants?

Olivia says, Chase is so gentle with Brook and Leo, and not for nothing, he’s very easy on the eyes. She thinks he’s Brook’s dreamboat – don’t miss it. Brook hugs her, and says, she’s right. Olivia says, about what? and Brook says, everything. Olivia suggests Brook tell her dad; he has his doubts. Olivia goes over to Ned, who asks if anything exciting happened while he was gone. She says, good thing he’s here. His son is asking for Chase to start singing. He says he’ll get his guitar, and she says, he seems a little distracted. He says he’s got a lot on his mind, and she says, too bad he doesn’t have a wife who’s loving and caring, and who supports him, and who he can lean on… Wait a minute. He laughs, and she asks if everything is okay. He says, it will be, in one way or another.

Leo runs over to Chase, and says, it’s time to sing. Chase asks what song Leo wants him to sing, and Leo whispers, Brook Lynn’s, in his ear. Chase says, really? and Leo says, definitely. Chase says, all right, and looks at Brook.  

Felty says, the memory card, and Gladys says, give her the camera. He says, it’s an expensive piece of equipment… and she takes it out of his hand. He says, okay, fine, and tries to point out the right port. She says she gets it; it goes in the one that fits. She looks at the pictures, and says, she knows that actress. She’s on the vampire show. People tell Gladys that she looks like her twin. There it is. She shows him the picture of Sasha picking up the pills, and he deletes it. He says, gone, and she says, thanks. He’s a real prince. Now does he want to delete it from the internal memory? She’ll wait.

Brando says he wants to ask Sasha something, and needs her to tell him the truth. She says, about what? and he asks if she still wants a wedding reception. His mom insists it will cheer her up, but if Sasha wants, he’ll shut it down. She says she wants it, and he asks if she’s sure. She says, absolutely. Life is too short not to celebrate. He says, it’s also too short to wait for his mother, so he’s going to check on her. Sasha says she’ll go; she’s probably in the ladies room. Gladys hustles back, and Brando asks where she was. She says, she’ll tell him. In fact – she looks at Sasha – she thinks it’s time she told Brand everything. Doesn’t Sasha?

Leo thanks everyone for coming to his birthday party, and says he’d like to introduce his friend Chase. He’s going to sing. Chase sits down near Ned, who’s on guitar, and says, this song was written by one of Leo’s favorite songwriters… and his. Ned just happens to know it, and starts to play. Chase sings, and from the chorus, which Ned sings harmony on, I determine the song is called All I Want Is Forever.  

Spencer tells Sam, maybe that’s why Trina was behaving so strangely, and couldn’t account for herself when Joss and Cam were being recorded. She says, it certainly makes sense, but unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to prove. The drug in Trina’s system is well out by now. Does he know who prescribed it? He says, no, Esme took off the label, and Sam says, they’re looking at a dead end; it’s good work though. He says, there’s something else, something Esme got weird about. Inside the box, there was also correspondence with the nanny who raised her after her adoptive parents died. Sam asks why that’s weird, and he says, Esme claimed they’d lost contact. Sam says she’ll look into it. She asks if he has a name, and he says, Maggie Fitzgerald. Sam says she has somewhere to be, but thanks him for confiding in her. He says he hopes it’s enough information to make use of, and she says, it’s definitely a good start. As for Esme, she’s got a gift for doing damage, and diverting blame. Promise her that he’ll be careful. Watch what he says. Watch his back. He smiles, and she leaves.

Nikolas says he doesn’t think Esme intended… and Ava says she knows exactly what Esme intended. Esme gets all weepy, and says, all she meant was that she wishes she had the kind of relationship Ava and Trina have. She guesses it’s her own fault that Nikolas is the only one left in this house who trusts her. She runs out, wiping away fake tears. Ava says, Esme cannot be trusted, and she wants her gone. He says, she’s made that clear, but she says, evidently not clear enough, since she’s still here. So let her make it absolutely crystal for him. Feel free to put Esme up at the MetroCourt. Get her a studio; buy her a little cottage on the lake. Ava doesn’t care, but she won’t share their home with Esme for one more moment. He says, Esme is a guest in his house, and she says, she’s sorry. His house? If it’s his house, what is she? Is she a guest as well, or is she his wife? She can’t be both. He says, forget about trusting Esme. Why can’t she trust him? He’s trying to do what’s best for all of them. She says, he’s not married to all of them; he’s married to her. She adds, at least for the moment, and leaves.

Gladys tells Sasha, she’s sorry, but she can’t keep this from her boy any longer. She was playing bingo on her phone. You can win real money. He says, has she? and she says, she will, when Brando’s phone rings. He says he has to take this, and steps away. Sasha thanks Gladys for running interference with that staleratzo. Gladys says, no problem, and Sasha says, and thanks for covering with Brando, but Gladys says, don’t thank her yet.

Chase finishes the song, and Brook smiles. Everyone applauds, and Leo runs up, saying, that was great. Brook is choked up, and Olivia asks, what’s the matter? Brook says, for the first time in a long time, absolutely nothing. Chase shake Leo’s hand, and Leo hugs Ned.

Brook tells Chase, he sounded incredible. She almost didn’t recognize the song, and she wrote it. He says, Leo’s her biggest fan… maybe her second biggest. She says, he was right. Hearing the song inspired her. She’s hoping maybe other singers would hear her songs, and maybe want to… He says, record them? Turn them into big hits? She says she doesn’t want to get ahead of herself, and he says, she’s going to have a whole slew of Grammys, and an Oscar for a James Bond theme song? She yells, yes! then dials it down, and says, think it could happen? He says, damn right it will.

Dante tells Leo, he’s got to go, but Leo did an awesome job reading the poem. He hugs Leo, who asks, where’s Sam? Sam says, right here, and he says she missed Chase. She says, that’s a bummer, and he says, he’ll tell dad to play another song, and she can sing. Dante says he thinks that’s a great idea, and Leo runs off. Dante says, do that, and tells Sam that she might get to serenade him after all. Did she get that thing done for work? She says she may have a lead or two.

Drew says he knows Carly’s heart is in the right place, but what they need more than financial backing is family support. She says, they have that, for what it’s worth (🍷), and Michael says, it’s worth a lot. She says, even though she’s not a Quartermaine. Thank God. No offense. They both say, none taken. Michael says, it’s great having her on their side. They’re confident, now that the Quartermaines are united, Valentin doesn’t stand a chance.

On the phone with Martin, Valentin says, he just had a very interesting chat with Ned Quartermain. All is not lost. There’s a very good chance he could stay at the helm of ELQ after all.

Brook says she’s been thinking, and Chase says he’s been thinking too. He thinks they should go somewhere and talk about what they’re thinking. She says, funny. She was going to suggest the same thing. Let’s go. Linc walks in, and says, not without him. He has something to say too. And it won’t wait.

Brando says, Sonny is having a problem with his car. He’s going to meet him at the garage. Sasha tells him, go help Sonny. She and Gladys will be fine. Gladys says, she and Sasha have a lot to talk about without him in their hair. Tell Sonny hi from his favorite cousin. Brando is sure Sonny will love that, and hugs Gladys. He kisses Sasha and tells her that he’ll see her at home; he loves her. He leaves, and Sasha asks what Felty had to say. Gladys says, he wanted his memory card back, and Sasha says, and the photos of her? Gladys says, deleted, and Sasha says, thank God. It’s not a big deal; she just didn’t look her best. Gladys says, if she’s told Sasha once, she’s told her a thousand times; Sasha can tell her anything. Sasha says, she did and has, and Gladys takes a bottle of pills out of her pocket, and puts it on the table.

Esme comes out with a suitcase, and Nikolas asks where she’s going. She says she’s leaving. She’s grateful for everything he’s done, but it’s clear she’s in the way. She packed what she could, and she’ll send for the rest of things later. Maybe there’s a room above Kelly’s available. He says he’s sorry. If he’d known what she was doing, he’d have saved her the trouble of unpacking it all. He opened his house to her and his son, and while he’ll be having a conversation with Spencer about respecting her privacy, they’re still welcome. She says, what about Ava? He says he’ll make sure he and his wife end up on the same page, and Esme thanks him.

Ava asks for a word with Spencer, and he says, this will teach him to work a full shift. What could she possibly say that he’d want to hear? She says, his trust fund. Would he like access to it? He says he’s listening, and she says, she’ll still hold the purse strings, but they’ll be much, much looser. He asks, how loose? and she says she could arrange for a regular allowance. How does $10K a week sound? He says, what’s the catch? and she says, he and Esme move out of Windymere immediately, and stay the hell out.

Esme opens her suitcase, but all that’s inside is the shoebox with the letters in it. She holds it to her chest, and smiles.

Tomorrow, TJ asks someone for help; Curtis tells Portia, Marshall’s not the only one who’s been lying to him; Gladys tells Sasha that she knows the truth; and Sonny says, Michael is trying to take him down.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – The Reunion – Part 3

Andy tells us, now the intense conclusion. I don’t think intense is the word I’d use for this group. Maybe delusional and psychotic. Oh wait. That’s just Teresa.

Andy says he wants to move on from whatever they’ve been screeching about. He asks Jennifer about the length of Bill’s affair, and she says, it lasted over two months. She asked him if he wanted a divorce and he said, absolutely not. She wanted to forgive him, but followed him on a trip to Miami. She had her brother call the hotel, saying he was Bill, and asking them to leave his wife a key. When Bill showed up, and she was there, it turned him on, and reignited the heat between them. TMI, and I can’t mentally unsee that. She says she told him they’d forget about it, and never talk about it, and Dolores says, when they’re truly remorseful, it’s worth giving it a chance. Frank wasn’t remorseful. She told him to call her and break it off, and they’d never mention it again, but he wouldn’t do it. Jennifer says, Bill is a good man who did a bad thing, and it brought them closer. She knows it looked like Bill checked out on camera, but he was uncomfortable on camera. Andy asks if she thinks they’d be in a better place if they’d dealt with it ten years ago, and Jennifer says she doesn’t think she’d have broken down like she did. At the time, she could only cry in her car. There was a new baby, the other kids, her mother, and her mother-in-law staying with them. Marge says, they were all shocked at the way she took it. She’d been very villainous for many years. At first, Marge thought Jennifer was faking being hurt. If everything in her life was so amazing, she wouldn’t have crumbled. Jennifer says she’d never processed it, but Marge asks how they were supposed to know that. Melissa says, it seemed like Jennifer felt relieved. She was in so much pain, and maybe she wanted Bill held accountable. Jennifer says, personally, she was relieved, but the mother side of her wanted to protect her kids. Andy asks where she and Bill are at now, and she says, they both want the same thing. They love their close knit family, and don’t give up when the going gets tough. Andy asks if Marge regrets what she did, and Marge says, if she’d known it was going to cut Jennifer to the core, she never would have said it, and she feels badly about the children. Andy asks if Jennifer is still mad at Marge, and Jennifer says, no; she doesn’t want to be mad. Andy asks if she thinks they can be friends, and Jennifer tells him, she’d never say never, but trust comes with time. Marge says, she thought they’d made up at lunch; it was beyond heartfelt. We flash back to that, and Teresa rolls her eyes. You can just insert Teresa’s eyeroll here whenever Marge is speaking, or Melissa, or Jackie, and all the others off and on. Marge says she gave Jennifer the name of a therapist, and Jennifer says, it’s hard watching it again. They talk about Bill carrying Marge Sr. after her party, and Marge says, it was the highlight of Marge Sr.’s night. Andy mentions that Jennifer said she and Marge are more similar than she thought, and Jennifer says she never knew about Marge’s culture; her story was very moving. We flash back to Marge Sr. Coming To America. Jen says, at the end of the day, they’d do anything for their moms, even though their moms drive them crazy. Andy says, Marge Sr.’s story resonates today, and Marge says her mom is going through PTSD with everything going on in the Ukraine. Marge’s grandparents had caught wind of an uprising, and wanted to book, but Marge Sr.’s brother’s wife didn’t want to leave. They had to leave him, and never got him out, and it was many years before anyone saw him again. Marge says, what’s happening in the Ukraine is very upsetting, but the camaraderie is uplifting. Andy says, Marge Sr. looks great for 75, and asks if she’s dating, but Marge says, no one in particular. Marge Sr. is youthful, but most younger guys are looking for younger girls. Andy suggests Frank.  

The Househusbands come out, and Andy says, it’s wild that Frank is living with David. Frank says, he knows, but David approached him about it, and it worked out. Andy says, David is dating one of Luis’s exes, and Frank says he hangs out and watches TV with them. Andy welcomes Joe #2 back, and says Joe #3 looks great. We find out he had work done, buckling under the pressure of The Marge. Andy asks Evan about Jackie’s progress, and he says, it’s good. It’s the most sustained progress she’s had. He says he feels guilty, but Jackie says, it’s not his fault. Andy says, Bill had a tough season, and asks how he’s doing. Bill says, better, but it’s a process. It’s hard reliving ongoing issues. Andy congratulates Luis on the engagement, and asks how he enjoyed his first season. Luis says, it was horrible, but he’s quick to add, it’s no one’s fault. Teresa says, really??? and he says he felt judged, but didn’t get a chance to tell his own story. Andy says he’s not shy about answering direct questions, and Luis regrets not getting in there more the first time he filmed. Teresa says, it can be overwhelming, because she still doesn’t want him to get a word in edgewise. Andy says, although tempers and temperatures ran high, the Jersey men were all about having a good time. We flash back to some of those, and Andy asks how the Wolf Pack got so close. Joe #2 says, there’s a vibe and bond there. They don’t have to work at it; it just happens. We find out that Frank took so many steroids, his balls are gone, which I really didn’t need to know, but is kind of interesting. Andy asks about Frank’s relationship with Dolores’s new squeeze Paulie, and Frank says, Paulie looks like Buzz Lightyear. Dolores calls him a jerkoff, and Frank says, he and Paulie don’t see eye to eye. It takes a special person to understand his and Dolores’s relationship. Andy says, Frank can’t live with all his ex’s boyfriends, and Frank says, Dolores is happy, and that’s all that matters. Dolores suggests letting them get established; her and Frank are a lot to handle. Frank says he expected more from a superhero, and Andy says, this is the most pissed he’s seen Dolores all day.

Andy asks what Luis is drawn to in Teresa, and he says, she’s open and easy to talk to. Andy says, for him, it’s been like pulling teeth, and Luis says she does tune out, and has to be reeled back in. Andy brings up the video of the men’s retreat, and Luis explains it was suggested by a co-worker. He’d been trying to break up with a girlfriend, but had no guts. The guys made him commit to her, and told him to stop making excuses. He came home and she gave him a prenup, saying she wanted a million dollars for getting married. It was a hard no, and they broke up. Joe #2 applauds, and says, that’s how to address the video. Marge says, there was never a clear explanation, and public opinion wasn’t good. Teresa says, Marge should have told her that it hadn’t been explained right, but Marge says, Teresa wouldn’t have been receptive to it. Melissa says, Marge does get all up in people’s business, but she helps. Luis says, if he’d had a chance to speak, it would have been different. Andy says, Luis dated a lot of women who have unkind things to say; road rage, being abusive in front of kids. Is any of it true?

Andy asks if Luis was emotionally abusive, and Luis says he was in toxic relationships that felt abusive to him. Andy asks if he demanded sex four times a day, and he says, he can’t have it that many times a day. Teresa says she wishes, and I cover my ears, going, ♫ la-la-la ♫! Andy asks if there was domestic violence, and Luis says, there were two incidents involving arguments with his wife over the children when they were divorcing. He wonders, who among us hasn’t had their wife call the police in that kind of situation? Um… Andy asks if Luis hit her, and he says, no. Andy asks what his response is, but Luis says he doesn’t have one. It’s not fair. He’s not perfect, but it’s blown up because he’s on this platform. Teresa drags Marge in, saying it’s all her fault, and Marge asks why she wouldn’t want to see Teresa happy. Andy asks what Marge’s motive could be, and Luis tells Andy, what Marge says makes sense. Andy asks if Teresa heard that, and she says, Luis is a nice guy and very forgiving; her, not so much. Marge thinks Teresa should take a lesson from Luis, and Andy asks what Luis’s dream wedding is. He says, the courthouse and a diner, and Teresa says, Sex in the City is Luis’s favorite show. Luis says, he didn’t want to be extra, but Andy says, he’s with an extra gal; she’s wearing a disco ball.

Andy asks Evan if Jackie is more open now, and Evan says, it was great they were on the show. More people knew about Jackie’s issues, and she’s doing great. Jackie says she held so many secrets, she was relieved to be open. Evan says the kids were observant, and he thought that was an important point. Andy asks how Bill and Jennifer’s kids reacted, and Bill says, the older ones were disappointed n him, but the younger ones were worried they’d get a divorce. Andy asks about Jennifer’s parents, and Jennifer says, when it first happened and she told her mom, it was different. When everyone knows, it’s hard getting over it. Andy tells her, when you join a reality show, it’s hard to keep it in the bottle. He asks if Bill was in deny mode when it was brought up, and Bill says, in hindsight, the truth sets you free, because it’s easier to deal with something than lie about it. Andy asks how they’re doing as a couple, and Bill says, it was trying. That he comes across as not loving his wife is disappointing. It’s not possible for every man to be forgiven, so he’s grateful. Andy asks if he was angry at Marge, and he says, he was, but more at himself. He wasn’t going to deflect and blame others. Marge says she hopes he knows she had no idea it would blow up his family, and Jennifer says, their kids were collateral damage. Bill says he knows Marge felt awful and she apologized. Andy wonders what Bill’s reaction was to Joe #2 saying Jennifer crossed the line, and answering for him, Jennifer says, he’ll always choose his wife. That’s probably another reason Bill never says anything. Jennifer is busy talking for him. In Luis’s case, Teresa is busy not talking. Joe #2 says, the Wives get out of control, and the men are more stable. I hate to say it, but in this instance, I agree. He says, they call each other afterward, being supportive. Jennifer whines they were ganging up on her. Andy points out that Bill said Jennifer was out of line throwing everyone out, and again answering for him, Jennifer says, when Bill is making up with people, he tends to be apologetic. Bill insists on being part of his own conversation, and says, his loyalty is unquestionable, but he tries to be  the voice of reason. Emotions were charged. Melissa says, Jennifer antagonizes, and she asks for it.

Melissa says, Jennifer can’t throw an insult, and not expect something back. She has to acknowledge her part. Andy says he doesn’t want to relitigate it, and asks how Joe #2 and Bill are. Bill says, they’ve been to dinner since that unfortunate night, but Jennifer is still in argument mode, and says she didn’t appreciate Evan’s accomplice comment. Bill is not an accomplice, but they’re married and share everything. As she’s saying it, I think, that’s kind of the definition of accomplice. She says she never thought Frank throw her under the bus, but Frank said he had pictures of the alleged girl. Dolores calls Jennifer the c-word, and says, Jennifer thinks she told Frank to say that. Frank says, Dolores never told him what or what not to say, but Jennifer insists he was the one who brought it up in the first place. She needs closure. She didn’t just call out of the blue. It came from something Frank said. She screeches at Bill to clear the f***ing air, and Bill says, Frank told him, the alleged woman was seeing Evan, and Jennifer points at Frank, saying, he brought it up. Evan says, he felt he should have been a better friend to Bill, since he was going through it, but he’d only been nice to Jennifer. Andy says, Jennifer cares about getting caught, not about what she did, but Jennifer insists the narrative was misconstrued. It’s time for the men to leave, and Joe #2 thanks all the cheaters, disbarred attorneys, and little bitch boys. He tells Luis to keep supporting his woman. Luis suddenly decides to drop a bombshell, and says, Teresa didn’t want him to say anything, but he was let go from his company because of the negative press. He has no bad feelings, and just wants to move forward in a peaceful manner. Teresa says, it’s because of what Margaret f***ing did, and Marge says, now she’s responsible for that? Andy asks if Luis blames Marge, and he says, no, but Teresa isn’t having it. She’s sure Marge started the San Francisco earthquake and the Chicago fire. They’re all talking at once, and through gritted teeth, Andy yells, shut up!  

Teresa looks like a grouper, her big, over-fillered mouth gaping. Andy asks if Luis blames Marge, and he says, no; it’s not her fault. Everybody was doing their job, and talking about what was out there. It’s an uncomfortable situation, and he doesn’t want drama. Marge says, the job brings a lot of negativity, and Teresa says, thanks to Margaret. STFU. Marge suggests Teresa dial it back, and the guys are dismissed. Teresa freaks about Luis shaking Joe #3’s hand, and Luis quietly tells her that she’s making a mistake by how she’s behaving. Marge tells Luis that no one wanted bad things for him. She just wants good things. Andy says, Teresa called Marge the c-word and threw a table full of dinner at her, and Teresa says she apologized. Andy reminds her she justified it by saying she was provoked, and she says she was upset with herself. She didn’t want to get in that place again. She’s not proud of it. She tried to stay calm, but reached her breaking point. Marge says she’s not responsible for putting it out there, but this is just beating a dead horse. Teresa isn’t going to believe Marge wasn’t responsible for what was all over the internet if Nona comes down on a cloud and confirms it. Andy says, if he saw negative press like that about a friend’s new partner, he’d be like, dude, I’m worried about this. Teresa says, Dolores never questioned her about Luis, and Andy says, Dolores lives by the old Italian code. She never asked Teresa about going to jail either. Teresa says, Margaret brought it to light, but Andy says, it was in the light already. Marge says, Teresa had her hair pulled, flipped a table of sh*t on her, called her every name book, but she’s defended Teresa. When Teresa did something to her best friend, Marge made excuses for her. Teresa says, that’s because she’s a good person, and Marge says, she thinks Teresa is a psycho now. She was trying to help Luis, since she knows how this works. Teresa asks why Marge dug stuff up from Luis’s past if she was trying to help him, and Marge screams, she didn’t. Andy says, a viewer points out that whenever someone disagrees with Teresa, she cuts them out of her life. Maybe it’s her. Teresa says, Marge was coming after Luis, and Marge says, Luis doesn’t think so. Teresa says, Luis is a nice guy, and Marge says she didn’t hurt him. Andy asks if Teresa has ever changed her opinion on anything, and Teresa says, Marge hurt her feelings; she loves Luis. In his smartest move during the Reunion, Andy says, they’re not getting any further with this.

Andy says, we’ve they’ve been though a lot tonight. They all lost their temper, him included, and he apologizes for screaming at them. When he gets with Jersey girls, he turns into one. He’s been gratified to see real moments of coming together, like Jackie and Jennifer, and Jennifer and Marge. Teresa is engaged, and Dolores has a new guy. There’s a lot to be happy for, and he wants them to say something positive they’re coming away from this season with. Jackie says, being on the show saved her life. She doesn’t know if she would have had the strength to deal with her food issues if the whole world hadn’t been holding her accountable. Dolores says, her softball charity event, and we flash back to that. She says, no matter if they’re fighting, she woudn’t want to share these couches with anyone else. Marge says, celebrating Marge Sr. also the heartfelt moment she and Jennifer shared, when she saw a different side of Jennifer. Jennifer says she wants to work harder on evolving as a person. It’s about the journey, and growing and learning from your mistakes. She’s acknowledging and owning hers. Melissa says, Antonia’s full recovery. She chose to push her daughter, and she’s happy she did. Teresa says, it was a hard season, even though she’s the happiest she’s ever been. She’s in love, but feels bad for what Luis went through; they went through it together. She’s upset with herself and what she did to Marge. She didn’t want to get to that point. Nice of her to slide that in quietly at the end.

Andy wans to make a toast to Teresa’s wedding and engagement, and champagne comes out. He asks Dolores to make a toast, and she makes the most generic toast ever; to health and happiness, to everyone, to friendship, and to making amends. They clink glasses, and Andy says, and to Jersey. Jackie downs her glass, and says she’s hungry.

✨ Playing Among the Stars…

Make a pit stop tomorrow for some soap and the latest from Beverly Hills. Until then, stay safe, stay being your own person, and stay remembering, the truth sets you free, because it’s easier to deal with something than lie about it.