What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Wiley is at the table in the nook, drawing, and Willow tells him, on the paper not the table this time. Deal? They fist bump and Wiley says, deal. She says she can’t wait to see his masterpiece. Michael comes in to get coffee, and she asks if there’s any word from Sonny or Carly. He says he spoke with his mom briefly, and Willow asks how she is. He says, not good. He’s worried about her, but she wanted space, so he’s giving it to her. She says, and his dad? He says, according to Tony, he’s fine. He can’t believe the judge said what Nina did isn’t a crime. She says she’s sorry. She wishes more than anything that she hadn’t gone to the chapel that day and overheard Sonny and Nina, but she did. Then she made the choice to keep it from all of them. He says, no one blames her for that; he doesn’t blame her for that. That’s why he did what he did with DA Sheridan. They were both protecting their family.

Brook asks Tracy to keep her voice down. She knows everyone in this house has supersonic hearing. Tracy says she’s waiting for an answer. Brook is not the mother of that baby. How does she know that? Because Brook was never pregnant. How does she know that? Because Brook called her asking for help finding a black market baby. Brook says, and Tracy hung up on her, so she had to take matters into her own hands. Tracy says she can see that. How did Brook get the baby? And please do no tell her, the old-fashioned way.

At Charlie’s, Anna asks Felicia how she think Maxie is going to react to this plan of theirs. Felicia says she’s not sure. She knows Maxie loves Louise, and wants nothing more than to have her daughter home… Anna says, but? and Felicia says, the way Maxie is dealing with it worries her. Anna says she knows. Like, the other day when she was so positive Louise was going to be back with her by next Christmas. She wants that too, obviously, and wants Maxie to have that kind of hope, but it’s really strange. Whenever she tries to bring up the subject of searching for her baby, Maxie seems kind of reluctant. Felicia says she thinks she knows why.

Maxie comes out of the hospital elevator outside Peter’s room, and Britt asks what she’s doing here. Maxie asks if she’s talked to Peter, but Britt says, not yet. Maxie says she’d like to know when he’s being shipped off to Pentenville, and Austin says, not before his condition stabilizes. Maxie says, and that will be… Britt says, he’s being guarded 24/7; Maxie doesn’t have to worry. Maxie says, she doesn’t have to worry? Peter has escaped from this hospital once already. She can’t deal with that again.

Victor sips coffee at the MetroCourt, when Valentin comes in. Victor says it’s good to see him, and Valentin tells him that he’d say the same, but he’s not going to lie. Victor says he did as Valentin requested, and gave him space to enjoy the holidays with his daughter, and Valentin asks if he’s back to his campaign as father of the year. Victor asks if Valentin and Charlotte had a nice Christmas, but Valentin doesn’t answer. Victor says, all right. How is Valentin holding up? Valentin says, tip top, patting his side. Almost back to 100%. Victor says he wasn’t talking about Valentin’s gunshot wound. He heard Valentin lost a child.

Britt tells Maxie, she knows it’s hard to believe after everything she’s been through, but Peter isn’t going anywhere. Martin comes along, and says, perhaps they could direct him to Peter’s room. Austin says, his room is right there, but it’s approved visitors only. Maxie asks why he wants to know, and Martin thanks Austin. He goes over to the guard, produces his card, and says, Martin Grey, Attorney at Law. Britt wonders what the hell is going on.

Martin goes into Peter’s room, and Peter says, he made it, and thanks him for coming. Martin asks what he can do for Peter, and Peter says he’d like to hire Martin to be his attorney. Martin says, to do what exactly, and Peter says, to prove he did not kill Franco Baldwin.

Alexis tells Shawn, she appreciates him trying to help, but he says, it’s not charity. Running The Invader is going to take a lot of work. She says she’s sure it is, especially since he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He says, so she’s afraid of trying something new? and she says she’s not afraid. He says, so she’s good? and she says, pushy, pushy. There’s a knock at the door, Alexis opens it, and tells Sam to come in. Sam asks if everything is okay, and says hi to Shawn. Alexis says, Shawn’s non-profit just bought The Invader. Shawn says he knows it used to be no better than a tabloid, but he’s changing the mission completely. Sam says, good for him, and Alexis says he wants her to be his second in command. Sam says, wow, and Alexis says, crazy, huh? Sam says, not necessarily, and Alexis says, what? Sam says, hear her out. She always thought that Shawn was a discerning kind of guy. Shawn thanks her, and Sam says, he must have his reasons for wanting Alexis to be part of the paper. What are they?

Michael says he knows he should have brought Willow into the loop about having Nina arrested, but she kind of did the same thing by not telling him about dad and Nina’s relationship. (I say, nice try, Michael.) What he’s saying is, moving forward, maybe they could give each other a little grace, because as parents, they’ll have to make executive decisions in the moment. Willow says, they’re not the same thing. The secret she kept from him had nothing to do with Wiley or parenting. It was about two grown adults who fell in love. He says, one of whom was his father, and both of whom are Wiley’s grandparents. She says, still… and he says he thought they were on the same page. What is he missing?

Maxie says, Martin isn’t going to take Peter’s case, and Britt asks how she knows. Maxie says, because he wouldn’t stoop that low.

Martin says he’s extremely reluctant to take Peter’s case. The list of allegations against him is epic, and it wouldn’t do Martin’s record any good defending him if he gets locked up. The only way he would consider accepting someone like Peter as a client is if the compensation were generous and prompt. Peter says, in other words, Martin can be bought, and Martin says, no, but his services can be acquired on a limited basis for a $50,000 retainer. Peter says, done, and Martin says, however, to be perfectly clear, he’s only willing to defend Peter on the charges of murdering Franco Baldwin. As for the rest of it, the catalog of heinous allegations against Peter is some other lawyer’s problem. Peter says, understood. So tell him, what is he up against? Martin says he doesn’t know yet, and sits down. He says, he’d have to look at the official files, and see what the PCPD has held back from public record. However, based on what he’s read, he thinks he can poke a hole or two in the prosecution’s case. Peter says, excellent, and Martin says, still, even if Peter is exonerated – and that’s one big if – there is an avalanche of charges waiting for him in other jurisdictions. Peter says, one battle at a time.

Felicia tells Anna, Maxie is in denial about Louise’s disappearance. She’s convinced herself that wherever her baby is, she’s safe and well cared for. Anna says, you kind of have to do that, don’t you? How else would you carry on? Felicia says, absolutely. She thinks that’s how Maxie finds the strength to be a mother to Georgie and James right now. Anna says she remembers doing that. She convinced herself that Robin was happy with Philomena when she couldn’t be with her. Felicia says she felt the same way when Mac was raising the girls, and Anna says, they were right. Their children were happy and safe, and they knew where they were. Maxie doesn’t have that. Felicia wonders how much longer Maxie can go on, not knowing if her daughter is alive, but Anna says, don’t say that. She doesn’t know.

Martin comes out, and Maxie says, he’s not going to take that monster’s case, is he? He says he’d appreciate if she referred to his client by his name, and Maxie says, no. He says, yes. He’s been retained to represent Peter in his upcoming murder trial. She says, what about New Year’s? She helped him and Lucy sneak out. He says he knows, and sincerely thanks her for the assistance, but business is business. New Year’s Eve was purely pleasure. He gets in the elevator, and the doors close.

Valentin tells Victor, Bailey isn’t lost; she’s perfectly fine. Victor says, but she’s lost to Valentin; no longer his little girl. Valentin says, that’s right, she’s not, and Victor says he’s very sorry about that. For both of them. He’d have loved another granddaughter. Valentin tells him not to get any ideas, because he’s never going to see the one he already has. Victor says, never say never, and Valentin says, if Victor thinks he’s ever going to let him anywhere near Charlotte, he’s crazy. Victor says he’s sorry. He didn’t mean to push. Valentin says, he’s all about restraint, isn’t he? and Victor admits he’s more a man of action. He finds it intolerable what Brook did to Valentin. He assumes Valentin is going to retaliate, and Valentin says he can handle Brook. Victor says he doesn’t have to do it alone. Why don’t the two of them show her that no one crosses a Cassadine?

Brook tells Tracy that she found a mother who couldn’t raise her baby, and she helped. Tracy says, that’s really generous of her, and Brook says she did it for the family. She wanted to gain control back of ELQ from Valentin. Tracy asks if that worked, and Brook says, not for long. Valentin found out she was lying, and took back his shares. Tracy says, and now Brook is trying to pass off Detective Chase as the father, and Brook says, she couldn’t admit she faked the pregnancy. Tracy asks, why not? and Brook says, how would she explain the baby? Tracy doesn’t understand. Brook had already been found out. Why not tell the truth? She could understand if the adoption was illegal, but if the mother was on board… Oh no. Don’t tell her Brook was stupid enough to steal a baby. The doorbell rings, and Brook says she’ll get it.

Maxie joins Felicia and Anna, and says, sorry she’s late. Martin Grey has taken Peter’s case. Anna says, he didn’t, and Maxie says she ran into him at the hospital. Felicia asks what she was doing there, but Maxie says she didn’t see Peter. Don’t worry. She just wanted to make sure he was still there. So when’s Peter getting shipped off to prison to await trial? Anna says she doesn’t know. As far as she’s aware, he’s kind of incapable of being moved right now, physically and medically. Maxie says, he’s kind of famous for breaking barriers, and Felicia says, not anymore. Peter’s going away for the rest of his life. But enough about him. Maxie says, this was a great idea, the three of them getting together; relaxing, laughing, destressing. Anna says, actually, they have something important they’d like to discuss with her, and Felicia says, it’s a difficult subject, but they’d like to talk about the search for Louise. Anna says, it’s not been easy, there aren’t many leads, but everyone is very determined to bring Maxie’s baby home. Robert comes in, and Felicia says, on that note… He approaches the table, and Anna asks if he’s okay. He says he’s got a bit of bad news. Nothing to do with Robin. There’s been a rather tragic cable car accident in Austria. Felicia says she heard about that on the news, and he says, according to Tracy, Luke was on that cable car. Luke’s gone.

Harmony walks into the nook, and says, knock, knock. Happy New Year. Willow says, mom, and Harmony says, Brook pointed her in this direction. She got the feeling Brook was in the middle of something. Michael says, she usually is, and Harmony thanks them for letting her bring Wiley his gift. Willow says she’s sorry it took this long to find a good time, but Harmony says she’s just happy for the invite. Willow brings Wiley over, and asks if he remembers his Grandma Harmony. Wow. Three grandmothers. How lucky is he? Harmony squats down to Wiley’s level, and says she’s sorry she didn’t get to see him last week, but she’s been thinking about him the whole time. She puts a large gift in his hands, and says, merry Christmas. Willow asks what he thinks it is, and they bring it over to the table.

Britt walks quickly through the hospital, slows down, then walks again. Austin comes up behind her, and asks, whatcha doin’? She asks if anyone ever told him not to sneak up on anyone, but he says he’s not sneaking, just walking. She says she’s going in there, indicating Peter’s room, and he asks if she thinks that’s a good idea. She says she thinks she didn’t ask for his opinion, and he gets in front of her, and says, hold on. They both know she’s not Peter’s doctor, is she? She says, no, but she is Co-Chief of Staff, which gives her free reign in this hospital. He says, fair enough, but help him understand something. Why does she want to go in there? When was the last time she saw Peter? She says, Cassadine Island, where he killed Jason, and almost killed her and her mom. He says, exactly, and she says, which is exactly why she needs to see him. She starts to walk, and he says, it’s not a good look, the Co-Chief of Staff is arrested for murdering one of the patients. She says, believe her, if she wanted to hurt Peter she wouldn’t get caught, and he says he does believe her, but he didn’t hear the part where she says she’s not going to hurt Peter. She says, very observant, doctor, and tells the guard that she needs to monitor the patient. She goes in, and Austin watches from outside. Britt closes the door, and Peter says, hey there, sis. He raises his hands, showing her he’s chained to the bed, and asks, what’s up?

Brook tells Tracy, let’s keep our voices down. Better yet, let’s table this whole discussion permanently. Tracy says, so Brook did steal her, and Brook says she didn’t steal her. Her hand to God, Bailey is absolutely positively not stolen. Tracy says, good. Good news finally. Brook says, now that’s settled, and the rest is really none of Tracy’s business. Tracy says, except that’s not true. Brook is trying to pass that child off as a Quartermaine, which makes it all her business. Back to Chase. Why couldn’t Brook just say she had a one-night stand? Why did she have to involve a police detective? Brook says she didn’t involve Chase. He decided all on his own to help her out. Tracy says, Brook means lie for her, and Brook says, whatever. Tracy says, so Brook and Mr. Law and Order? but Brook says, it’s not like that. She and Chase are just friends. Tracy wonders why she finds that so hard to believe.

Wiley pulls out a train made of colorful blocks, and says, cool. Willow asks what he says, and he says, thank you, looking in the wrong direction. Harmony says, he’s welcome, and gathers up the wrapping. Michael says, that train set is pretty legit, and Willow says, it must have been expensive. Harmony tells her, don’t worry about it. She’s been saving up so she can spoil him. Wiley asks if he can show Leo, and Michael says he can, but he should say goodbye to Harmony first, because Toby’s mom will be picking him up soon for his playdate. Wiley brings Harmony a drawing, and she says, he’s such an amazing artist. She knows exactly where she’s going to hang it. (On the refrigerator.) She hugs Wiley, and he scampers off with his train. Harmony thanks Willow for calling. When she didn’t hear from Willow, she thought Willow changed her mind. Willow says, sorry about that. There’s been a lot going on. Harmony says, she heard the charges were dropped against Nina after the preliminary hearing. How do she and Michael feel about that? Willow says, Michael is understandably angry that Nina got off Scot free. That wasn’t the worst part. Some things came out during the hearing that Michael thought Nina purposely withheld to blindside the family. Harmony asks what Willow thinks about it.

Felicia says, it seems impossible, a world without Luke in it, and Robert says he knows. Anna asks if they suspect any tampering, but Robert shakes his head, and says, first thing he checked. It would appear his luck just flat ran out. Maxie says she’s so sorry. She knows how important Luke was to them. Robert says, his best friend. Brother, actually. No amount of time or distance could change that. Felicia asks if Bobbie and Laura know, and Robert says, yes. He called to check on them afterward. Olivia had broken the news. They’re both pretty devastated. Bobbie’s taking it particularly badly. Felicia says, of course (🍷) she is, and Anna asks if Bobbie wants to see anyone. Robert says, no. She asked to be left alone until she can process all of this. Felicia feels it’s the last thing Bobbie needs, but she’ll respect Bobbie’s wishes for now. Anna asks, what about Tracy? but Robert says he hasn’t spoken to her yet. Maxie gets up, and says she thinks she’ll stop by and offer her condolences, and Felicia says she’d like to drive her. Maxie says, yeah, and Felicia gets up. Felicia says she loves them, and cries a little, and Anna hugs her. Maxie and Felicia leave, and with tears in her eyes Anna says, first Holly, now Luke. She’s glad Robert’s here. She takes his hands, and he says, right back at her. He looks stunned.

Shawn tells Alexis and Sam, he doesn’t need another journalist. What he needs is someone with a conscience who can lead and guide the paper. Someone to fight for what’s right. Sam says, that sounds like her mom, and Alexis asks why he didn’t just say that in the first place, instead of calling her a chicken. He says, he didn’t call her a chicken, but she says, he called her a chicken. Sam laughs, and Shawn says, the bottom line is, he needs a warrior, and Alexis is the smartest warrior he knows. So what does she say?

Peter says, he was wondering when Britt would drop by. He was hoping his sister of all people… She says, don’t call her that. They’re not family; they never will be. He says she can’t deny blood, and she says, watch me. Jason is dead because of him. He says, the tunnel collapsed. It’s not exactly in his control. She asks, what about the shootout? Was that in his control? Because that’s what caused the cave-in, dumb ass. Not to mention, if it weren’t for him, they never would have been on that island. He says he understands… and she says, understand this. She’s so glad she didn’t grow up with him. She’s so glad she never knew they were related, because all he does is bring pain and suffering to everyone, most of all Maxie, whose life he essentially ruined. He says, that’s not true, and she says, thanks to him, Maxie’s daughter is God knows where, possibly crying, injured, or scared. Or alone, if she’s even still alive. He tells her, don’t say that, and she says, aww. I’m sorry. Did that hurt? Was it hard to hear? Good. She didn’t know it was possible to actually despise a person. It is. She despises him. He says, point taken. He’ll make sure to let the authorities know. They’re still searching for the person who poisoned him. She laughs, and says, please, moving closer to him. If she’d poisoned him, she’d have gotten the dosage right, and they woudn’t be having this conversation. Besides, she doesn’t want him dead. She wants him rotting in some supermax prison for the rest of his life, knowing he’ll never lay eyes on his daughter. She wants him alone, until he joins their father in hell.

Willow and Harmony have coffee, and Willow says, Nina’s reaction after everything came out, she seemed genuinely upset. Maybe she’s just being naïve. Harmony asks if that’s what Michael said, and Willow says, no. They definitely have different opinions when it comes to Nina, and her role, if any, in Wiley’s life. Harmony tells her to trust her instincts. If she really feels that Nina means no harm, isn’t it better for Wiley to have a grandmother who loves him, than for her to disappear? Michael comes in, and Willow asks if Wiley’s off. He says, Wiley’s off, and insisted on bringing his train set on the playdate. Harmony says she’s glad he likes it, and Michael asks what they were talking about. Willow says, Nina, and Harmony says, Willow didn’t give her any details, but she urges Michael to trust her daughter’s instincts. He says he doesn’t mean to be disrespectful, but how is that any of her business?

Valentin says, so Victor wants to team up like some dynamic father son duo, and Victor says, stronger together, as they say. Martin runs in, and Valentin asks Victor to excuse him; he has a meeting with his attorney. Victor says, by all means. Just think about his offer. Valentin and Martin go to a table. Martin says, before they discuss ELQ, there’s something Valentin should know, and he thinks Valentin should hear it from him. Valentin says, that sounds ominous, and Martin says, he’s agreed to represent Peter August.

Britt comes out of Peter’s room, and sees Austin leaning against the wall. He says, hey, and she says, you again? He says he didn’t hear any bells or whistles, so he’s going to assume Peter is still breathing. She says she has to get back, and he asks her to come sit with him for one tiny little second. They sit on a bench, and he asks if she feels better. She says, because she’s sitting? and he says, no, because she confronted Peter. She says she does. She could tell her words really hurt him, and it felt good to see him in pain. He says he totally gets it, and she says, he doesn’t think she’s a horrible person? He says, not at all. Not even a little bit.

Shawn says he and Alexis make a great team; she knows they do. The fact that he’s sitting there a free man says it all. Just think about it before she says no. She says she will, and he gets his coat. He asks Sam to work on Alexis for him, and Alexis says she heard that. He leaves, and Alexis says she’s going to take a moment and think about it, so don’t try to talk her into anything. Sam says, okay, but Alexis has been very clear that she doesn’t think she’s qualified for the job. Alexis says she’s not, and Sam says, okay, but does she want the job?

Felicia and Maxie come into the Quartermaine living room, and Felicia says, they heard about Luke. Maxie says, they’re so sorry, and Tracy thanks them. She knows it’s a loss for them as well. Felicia says, they have a whole lot of memories, but nothing compared to what Tracy and Luke shared. Bailey cries, and Maxie goes over to her, Tracy definitely noticing. Felicia asks if Tracy was in Austria when it happened, and Tracy says she wasn’t. She’s sure they can imagine how much she regrets that. Brook goes over the bassinette, and says, someone needs to be changed, taking Bailey out. Maxie says she’s going with Brook, so her mom and Tracy can talk. Brook says, good idea, and they go into the foyer. Brook says Bailey smells like roses, and Maxie asks, what are they doing out there then? Brook says she has to tell Maxie something she’s not going to like. Her grandmother knows Bailey isn’t hers.

Tracy asks Felicia if something is wrong, and Felicia says she’s just worried that being around Bailey might be painful for Maxie. Tracy asks, why? and Felicia says, Maxie’s daughter is still missing. Tracy says she’s so sorry. She heard about that. It must be hard on Felicia and Mac as well. Felicia says, it’s terrible. She and Mac never got to meet their granddaughter. She was taken just after Maxie gave birth. Tracy asks if there are any leads on her whereabouts, but Felicia says, no. She has to believe in her heart that Louise is safe, but after seven months… She starts to cry, and Tracy says, seven months? So Brook and Maxie’s babies are the same age? Felicia says, yeah, and Tracy says, that must make it particularly hard. She looks at the bassinette.

Austin brings Britt coffee, and she says, it better not be decaf. He says he’s not a monster, and asks if she doesn’t go home soon, but she says she’s in no rush. She has nothing waiting for her at the MetroCourt. He says, she lives in a hotel? and she says she never has to make a bed. He says, it’s true, and she says, to be honest, she does better at work. Her social life is lacking. He says he’s been in Port Charles for like, six months, and barely knows anyone outside of GH. She laughs, and he says, it’s funny? She says, no, but if he’s really lonely, she knows a matchmaker. He says, she does not, but she says she does. Her mother signed her up for a matchmaking service, as a Christmas present no less. He says, wow, that’s… wow. Britt says, she’s really obsessed with the get out there and meet someone nonsense. He says he thinks that’s exactly what Britt should do.

Alexis tells Sam, everything Shawn said about the Invader job appeals to her, and Sam says, except? Alexis says, except she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and Sam says, no one knows what they’re doing on a new job. She’ll learn. Alexis tells her not to finagle it, and Sam says she’s not. When you boil it down, aren’t opening and closing statements just appeals for justice? Alexis says, yes, but… and Sam says, to get the jury to do the right thing. Alexis says, that’s in a courtroom, and Sam says, so? Alexis is an amazing public speaker. All she has to do is, put it down on paper. Alexis asks if Sam really thinks she could do this, and Sam says she believes in Alexis. Alexis needs to believe in herself too.

Maxie says, Tracy knows that Bailey is Louise? but Brook says, no. She just knows Bailey isn’t Brook’s. Maxie asks, how? and Brook says she’s so sorry. Before they came up with a plan, she told Tracy that she was faking a pregnancy. Maxie says, Brook didn’t think to tell her this until now? and Brook says, she’s sorry. Her grandmother, all the way in Amsterdam, knew she was faking a pregnancy. No, she didn’t. Maxie says, this is bad, but Brook says, don’t panic. Maxie says, it’s too late for that. What if Tracy figures this out? Brook says, she won’t. Why would she? No one else has. Maxie says, because no one is as sneaky as Tracy, or as suspicious.

Anna tells Robert, she remembers the first time she met Luke. He laughs, and says, it was unforgettable. He certainly knew how to make a dramatic entrance. She says, he knew how to make a splash, and Robert says, no one ever did it better. He certainly lived life to the fullest. She says, he was a very loyal friend. He really helped her when they thought Robin was dead that time. Remember? He says, he wouldn’t have made it through that, literally, and she says, they don’t get to say goodbye. It doesn’t really surprise her, because Luke was always on the move. He says, no time or patience for sentimentality, and she says, on the surface perhaps. She’s really going to miss him. Robert says, so is he.

Valentin says, that’s why Martin was late? For taking on a new client who absolutely deserves to be behind bars? Martin says, he has the right to a defense just like everyone else, but Valentin says, Martin doesn’t have to be the one who provides it. How much is Peter paying him? Martin says, please, he has bills to pay. Mother’s care is extremely expensive. It’s not like Cyrus is going to cover it anymore. He couldn’t work when he was in witness protection, and on top of everything else, he has to pay alimony three times over. Valentin says he has to go, and Martin says, then he’s to be punished. Valentin says, Martin was late, and he has somewhere else he has to be. Martin asks, what about their meeting? and Valentin says he guesses they’ll have to reschedule. Valentin gets into the elevator, and as the doors are about to close, Victor gets in, saying, room for one more?

The doors close, and Victor asks if Valentin has given any more thought to him helping put Brook in her place. Valentin asks, why he should work with Victor? and Victor says, they have a common enemy. Valentin says, Brook’s never done anything to Victor, but Victor says, she disrespected the Cassadine name. That effects all of them, and there have to be consequences. And he wants a relationship with his son. So what does Valentin say? They work together to right this terrible wrong? He knows family is important to Valentin, as it is to him, so let’s start acting like one. The fact is, Brook used Valentin. She lied to him, and Victor can’t believe it doesn’t make him furious. Valentin says, of course (🍷) it makes him furious, and Victor says, then accept his help. The doors open, and Victor says Valentin knows where to find him. Valentin says, wait. What does he have in mind?

Tracy thanks Felicia and Maxie for coming; it means a lot. Maxie says, they were so sorry about Luke, and Felicia goes over to the bassinette. She says, and you are getting so big and so beautiful. Brook must be over the moon. Brook says she really is.

Shawn comes into Charlie’s on the phone, and says, tell me you have good news for me. Alexis says she thinks so, and he says, she’ll take the job at The Invader? She says, they’re going to turn this paper into a mission for justice. She is in. He says, hot damn. When can she start?

Harmony tells Michael that she’s sorry; she overstepped. She was just trying to express that she trusts her daughter’s judgement. He says, so does he, which is why she’s standing in this house, despite what happened to his sister. She says she hopes he knows she’s changed a lot since then, and all she wants is a relationship with her family. He says, for her sake, he hopes that’s true.

Britt says, Austin thinks she needs a matchmaker? but he says, no. She says, but…? and he says, if she’s looking for a wingman, he’s trying to figure out his personal life in Port Charles too, so he’s volunteering. If they’re in this together, how bad can it be?

Brook asks Bailey if she’s still hungry, and says she’ll make her a bottle. She asks if Tracy can watch her for a sec, and Tracy says, of course (🍷). Brook asks if she’s sure, and Tracy says, please. She raised Brook’s father and her uncle. She can be alone with an infant for five minutes. Just to be clear, if Bailey needs anything, she’s calling Brook. Brook says, got it, and leaves. Tracy tells Bailey that she’s had an interesting life so far, hasn’t she? Can Tracy call her Louise?

Tomorrow, Alexis asks where Ned heard this, Sasha thinks the best thing for her is to get back to work, and Dante asks if Sonny is telling him it’s still real.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

We started where we left off, at Emily’s party for Shawn, with Heather telling Shannon that she’d lose more than friendship if Shannon ever came after her family again. It was going to cost a lot. It wasn’t a threat, but a promise. She’d defend her family until the end. She’d thought she and Shannon were good, and it was like a big f*** you. Shannon said she was horrified by the whole thing, and Heather said she didn’t know if she could trust Shannon 100%, but she was willing to forgive Shannon. Shannon said she had a lapse in judgment and apologized, but in Heather’s interview, she said, Shannon wasn’t crying because she felt bad or had remorse, but because she got caught. Heather told Shannon again, don’t f*** with my family, and Shannon said she wasn’t going to. Then they pinky swore. I’m not making that up. We flashed back to Heather kicking Shannon out of her house, and in Shannon’s interview, she said, they’d worked through a rough start. Only time would tell. Heather said she needed Shannon to apologize to her husband, and went off to find Terry. In her interview, Shannon said she felt like Heather was a grade school teacher grading her, and she’s 57. Shannon told Terry that what she did was wrong, and she wasn’t that type of person. Terry said he didn’t get why she even brought it up, since it was so long ago, but he appreciated the apology. He thought they should just move on and forget it.

Noella, Emily and Gina declared themselves Charlie’s Angels, and the buffet happened. It looked pretty extensive and impressive. Shannon’s boyfriend John asked if Heather and Terry were gracious, and she said Terry was. She told him about what Heather said, and he said it was not okay. In their dual interview, John said his heart broke for Shannon because what Heather said was underserved. Shannon said she’d never had someone in her life that she knew had her back. Heather told Noella that if she needed them, just call. In Jen’s interview, she said Jen had been acting snotty and rude to her all night for no apparent reason, and she wanted to clear the air. She told Noella that she felt there was tension between them. She knew Noella was going through a lot of stuff, but if she’d done anything to upset Noella, she’d like to make it right. In Noella’s interview, she said, the few times she and Jen had met, it was superficial, and Jen had been quick to do a selfie. Noella said she wasn’t necessarily upset, but found it disturbing that Jen had posted a picture of herself – in bad light – and tagged her. She works with MedSpa and had to report it to Instagram to have it removed. Jen said she didn’t remember tagging Noella, and Noella said, it wasn’t even a cute photo. In Jen’s interview, she said she felt like she was dealing with a child having a temper tantrum. Noella said she felt thirsty energy from Jen, and she should go be relevant somewhere else. In her interview, Jen said she’d be happy to be relevant somewhere else. Yeah, Noella is starting to seem kind of weird.

Jen told Heather about the exchange, and Noella told John and Shannon about it. Heather told Jen that Noella had said she was a fake bitch, but she was choosing to let it go. Sometimes people in a bad place lashed out. Jen said she didn’t think being rude was ever the answer. Noella stomped over to Jen, and Jen said she hadn’t liked Noella’s condescending talk, and Noella whined that she’d had the worst week. Jen said she’d reached out to Noella, and gotten treated badly. Heather said they couldn’t do this at two parties, and led Noella away. Seated at the table chowing down, Gina said she didn’t know what was happening, and she was happy about that. Shannon and John cruised the buffet, and Shannon decided to stick to what she knew. I was kind of surprised she wasn’t very adventurous when it came to food. Even more surprising was how Shannon picked up something with her hand – I’m not sure what; it might have been half of an onion – and then put it back. The one who’s paranoid about her health apparently doesn’t care about anyone else’s. Gina introduced Travis to Heather, and Shannon told Noella that Heather was ignoring her. Noella said Shannon had done good with her apology tour. Heather said she and Terry had extra tickets for the track, and asked Gina and Travis to come with them. In Shannon’s interview, she said, you don’t invite people to an event when there are people around who aren’t invited. She’d been officially blackballed from Heather’s invite list.

Emily asked for everyone’s attention, and said she was excited to celebrate Shane taking the bar. He did it with a wife and five children, and never gave up. She was so proud of him, and felt she’d won the lottery when they married. Shane said they didn’t agree on a lot of things, but… Everyone toasted to Shane, and the belly dancers did their thing. Everyone put on jingle belts, and danced.

Shannon went out to lunch her dad Gene, the girls, and Stella’s boyfriend, who was a budding podiatrist, so Shannon tried to hit him up for foot advice. In Shannon’s interview, she said her dad was calling himself Gene the Machine, which was at least better than what Kelly called him. We flashed back to Kelly dubbing Gene Big D*ck Daddy, and Shannon said her father thought he was a lady’s man. She hadn’t seen him in action, but would be horrified. Gene talked about living in Bel Air, and Dean Martin sitting next to him. Shannon said the kids didn’t know who that was, or Frank Sinatra. In an interview with two interchangeable daughters, they looked up Rat Pack, and thought it was a musical group. Shannon talked about the girls going to college, and said, she had two years left, and then the girls were all gone. Gene thought maybe she’d like to spend more time with her father, and in Shannon’s interview, she said she hadn’t seen a lot of him when she was a child.

In Heather’s interview, she talked about her friendship with Gina, and said sometimes you just clicked when you met people. She didn’t know if it was a New York thing, or Jews and Italians, but she and Gina clicked. Heather went over the kids’ schedules with them, and said she was proud of their family dynamic. It was loving, nurturing, and accepting of everything.

Noella took Shannon to her energy healer Tracy. In her interview, Noella explained that Tracy put her hands on your body to give it a fine tuning. It was a big sign of their friendship for her to share Tracy with Shannon. Shannon commiserated with Noella about Jen, and told her about what Heather had said. In Noella’s interview, she said, Heather was manipulative and controlling, and it was not cool. In Shannon’s interview, she said the fear that kept her up at night was not being able to provide for her kids. She felt she’d failed them in many areas, and wasn’t letting them down again. Tracy had Shannon take a deep breath, and Shannon said it was twice as big as the breaths she’d been taking. Noella said Tracy was her miracle woman, but I think Shannon just relaxed for a hot minute.

Nicole brought a Louis Vuitton suitcase filled with cheese to Jen’s house, and made a charcuterie board. Emily and Gina joined them, and in Jen’s interview, she said she hung out with her employees during the day. It wasn’t easy to make new friends, and her employees were nice to her because she was the boss, but she didn’t think they cared as much about her as she did about them. Emily said she was confused about Noella, and Jen said, when she and Noella first met, Noella kept changing her story about her marriage. She didn’t think Noella and James were really married. In Emily’s interview, she said, it was salacious to say Noella wasn’t really married. She thought Jen just didn’t like Noella. Jen said she thought Noella needed professional help, and Emily agreed she needed direction for her anger.

Shannon video chatted with mom Pat, who’d been living in Nashville for ten years. Shannon was planning a visit with the girls, and had only visited there once since her mom moved there. In Shannon’s interview, she said now she understood how her mom was preoccupied with an unhappy marriage. We saw a clip of Pat telling Shannon to concentrate on her own life, and what she wanted to do. Shannon said her mother was happier now, and her own life was busy and full, but she needed to make time for the mom she was lucky to still have.

At the Del Mar Racetrack, a lot of people were dressed up, and Gina bought a hat before she went inside; not like a ballcap that said Del Mar on it, but a nice sunhat. She and Travis joined Heather and Terry in the winner’s circle. In Gina’s interview, she said everything Heather touched turned to diamonds, but she had champagne taste on a beer budget. She wondered if Heather would adopt her. I’ve always hoped LVP might adopt an older child. I swear, she’ll never even know I was there. They had lunch at a fancy table, and in her interview, Gina said she’d been to the track before, but was confident being with Heather would be a different experience. I went to the track once; the Belmont Stakes. I placed a small bet, but the only thing I won was a drunk trying to pick me up outside the ladies room. I would have appreciated a different experience. Travis and Terry made some bets, and they toasted to new friends. Gina told Heather that Noella had warned her to be careful of Heather. Although she hadn’t given a reason, Noella felt that Gina needed to be on the defensive. Heather said she wasn’t negating what Noella was going through, but her remarks were uncalled for. In Heather’s interview, she asked if she’d missed something. Had she run over Noella’s cat? She told Gina that she’d invited Noella to her party because she’d been nice to Max, and Gina said she didn’t want to be collateral damage from anyone’s problems. She thought Noella was a bomb that was going to go off at some point. The William Tell Overture played as the horses ran.

Emily paid a visit to Noelle, who said she’d put out a sadcuterie. Her heart hadn’t been in it, but as soon as the champagne hit her mouth, the better her life would be. She told Emily that she didn’t want the divorce. She still loved James, but felt she’d be a fool to let him back into her life. A man had come to the house with beautiful flowers, and when she’d asked where the note was, he asked if she was Noella Whatever-her-last-name-is. When she said, yes, he said she’d been served. I have to say, that is a pretty creepy thing to do, and Emily said it was next level. In Noella’s interview, she said, the first time, her mother had answered the door. Because she hadn’t technically received the papers, he’d sent flowers to make sure she’d come to the door. Emily asked if she had a good lawyer, but Noella said the goal was to be as non-litigious as possible. Emily told Noella that Jen had questioned her marriage being real, and said she’d had a fake wedding. In Emily’s interview, she said she thought Jen was presenting Noella as someone she wasn’t, which made her question Jen. Noella said she didn’t think Jen was authentic, and Emily said she was clinical. In Noella’s interview, she said, that’s not how divorce works. You have to be legally married to get a divorce. She was going to be leaning on Gina. Emily, and Shannon. Emily suggested they throw the flowers out, and shoved them in a dumpster outside. She made Noella throw the vase in as hard as she could, smashing it, and said, bye, James.  

Next time, Emily brings a sandwich into a sauna, Max promotes her book, and Heather confronts Noella.

🚌 Hopping On the Bus, Gus…

Come on over tomorrow for soap and the Runway dressing the Housewives. Until then, stay safe, stay appreciating the beauty of winter, and stay not letting any amount of time or distance change your friendships.