What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the gym, Chase tells Dante that he’s glad he came. It feels good sweating off the stress from the move. Dante says he noticed Chase was pumping iron pretty good. Does it have anything to do with Brook?

Brook flashes back to overhearing Chase tell Dante that she’s not his type, and even if she were, how could he trust her? She tells herself to get it together. Who cares about one guy’s opinion?

At the hospital, Curtis says, that was a struggle, and Portia asks if TJ didn’t want to go back to work. Curtis says, he told TJ that he’d let him know if there were any updates on Marshall. Did the doctor come by when he was gone? Epiphany says, no, but thanks to Finn the cardiac care team was here when they arrived. Elizabeth says, his father is in good hands, and Finn says, it’s scary, but his father is going to be okay. Curtis thanks them for getting Marshall there as quickly as they did. Portia asks how he’s holding up, but Curtis says, honestly, he doesn’t know. Mostly, he’s confused.

Carly tosses a magazine aside, and picks up her phone. She looks at an old voicemail from Jason. There’s a knock at the door, and she opens it to Sam, who holds up a six-pack, and says, thirsty?

Brook asks herself what she needs Chase for anyway. There are thousands of guys who will think she’s awesome. Obviously. That’s what dating apps are for. She picks up her phone, and sees the battery is low. She wonders what she did with her charger, and digs around in a box. She hears a door open, and says, Chase?

Chase asks why it would have anything to do with Brook, and Dante says, Chase was pretty harsh with her back at the house. Is it underlying resentment about the baby or… something else? Chase says, it’s a confusing situation, and Dante says he bets it is. Chase says, one minute they’re fine, and the next… They’ll figure it out. Does Dante want to grab a beer after this? Dante says, sure. Why not? Is Chase buying? Chase says, done. Consider it a thank you for helping him move. Sonny walks in, and says he and Chase need to have a talk.

Curtis says, right before Portia called, he was deciding whether or not to give Marshall a chance. Then he had a conversation with Drew, and Drew reminded him that he had time to make a decision, but that might not be the case now. He knows he has legit reasons to be cautious… She says, he has very legitimate reasons, and he says, he can’t help wondering if he wasted time interrogating Marshall, instead of getting to know him. Portia suggests they take one step at a time. First, they need to hear what the doctor has to say. Then we’ll take it from there. He thanks her for throwing we in there, and she says she’s right there for him. No matter what, she’s got him. They hug, and the doctor comes out. Portia introduces Dr. Rose to Curtis, and says, Curtis is Marshall’s son. Curtis asks if his father is going to be okay.

At the PC Grill, Shawn toasts to his an Alexis’s partnership. They clink glasses, when Alexis sees Harmony on her way out. She asks if Harmony wants to join them.

Carly says, Sam does know she has a minibar, right? and Sam says, where the beer costs an arm and a leg. No offense. Carly says, none taken, and asks how Sam knew she was here. Sam says, Spinelli. He had a feeling she wasn’t going home, and had Sam check on her. So she came here. Carly says, that’s sweet, but Sam can see she’s fine. Sam says she’s not. She knows Carly, and knows she would normally talk to Jason at a time like this, but she can’t. Sam knows she can’t replace him. She could put on a black T-shirt if it makes Carly happy. Carly laughs, and Sam says, the kids are at Monica’s for the night, so she’s all Carly’s. Does she want to start over? Carly says, okay, and Sam hands her a beer. She asks how Carly is feeling, and Carly says, not so great.

Sonny says he hears Chase is Bailey’s father, not Valentin. Chase says, that’s right, and Sonny says, good; Valentin doesn’t deserve that little girl. Did Chase hit him? Chase says, it wasn’t his finest moment, and Sonny says, he probably had it coming. He asks what’s going on with Chase and Brook, and Chase says they’re not together. Sonny asks if Brook isn’t good enough for Chase, and Dante says, whoa. Sonny tells Chase, he’s just saying that any man is lucky to have someone like Brook, and Dante says, but if Chase isn’t interested in her, Chase isn’t interested in her. Sonny tells him, if he says so, that’s fine, and Chase says he’s going to hit the showers before they grab a beer. He tells Sonny it was good to see him, and leaves. Dante asks Sonny, what was that? Sonny lit into Chase; what for? Sonny says, Brook is his goddaughter, and Dante says, she’s also an adult. No offense, but with everything that’s going on with Sonny right now, doesn’t he think he should be more focused on his own life?

Brook pokes around in a box until she comes up with a vase. She says she’s got this, and sneaks downstairs. She looks around, and sees pillows and a blanket by the fireplace. She checks some other rooms, and sees someone going into the living room. She smashes them over the head with the vase.

Dr. Rose says, it wasn’t a heart attack, and Portia says, that’s very good news. Curtis asks, so what happened? and the doctor says his father’s blood pressure was elevated. They’ve switched his medication to one that will hopefully take care of that. Curtis asks if he’s all right, and Dr. Rose says, he’s perfectly fine. He can be discharged as soon as he gets his new prescription. Feel free to go in and see him. Curtis thanks the doctor, and thanks everyone for their help, and for waiting with him until Curtis got there. Elizabeth says, of course (🍷), and Portia’s phone beeps. She says it’s a patient, and asks if she can check in with Curtis in a little bit. He says, that’s fine. He should call TJ and let him know what’s going on. Elizabeth asks if Epiphany is okay, and Epiphany says, something’s just not tracking. Excuse her. She leaves, and Finn says, he knows she doesn’t like to elaborate, and Elizabeth says, not so much. He says, now that they know Marshall is in the clear, they have a big decision to make. Elizabeth says, they do? and he says, correct him if he’s wrong, but they were having a pretty okay time before all the excitement. His babysitter is still on the clock for another couple of hours. Elizabeth says, same here, and he asks how she feels about continuing their date. She says she feels pretty okay about that, and he says, let’s go. They start to leave, and Elizabeth’s phone rings. She says, Cameron, hi; then says, wait. What?

Sonny tells Dante, he’s just looking out for his family like he always does. Why is everyone giving him so much grief? Dante asks, who’s everyone? Carly? Sonny says, yeah. It’s like they’re mad at him for something that happened in Nixon Falls. He didn’t know who he was; he didn’t have control over it. All he’s done since he came back is try to make things okay. Dante says, okay. How can he help Sonny? Sonny says he’s just trying to clear his head. He’s going to work out. He tells Dante to go with his friend, and starts punching the heavy bag. Chase comes back, and says, ready? but Dante thinks he should stay with his dad. Sonny tells him, no, go, and Dante says, don’t worry about it. Chase says, no problem, when his phone rings. He answers, and says, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang tight. He’ll be right there. He runs out.

Harmony tells Shawn that it’s good to see him, and Alexis says they were just going over some of their plans for The Invader. Harmony says Alexis seems excited, and Alexis says she is. She asks Shawn if they’re done with business and asks Harmony to join them. Harmony says she’s just there for take-out. Enjoy their evening. She goes over to the bar, and Alexis says she’ll be right back.

Alexis asks if everything is all right, and Harmony says, yes; why? Alexis says, she seems uncomfortable, and Harmony says she gets the sense that Shawn’s not her biggest fan. Alexis says, he, too, will come around, and Harmony says, like Sam did the other day. Alexis asks what that means.

Carly says she’s furious, and Sam says, of course (🍷) she is. Carly says, about all of it. Nina gets top billing because she’s a hateful liar, but Sonny too, for not telling her all this time that he fell in love with Nina. And the worst part is, she can’t get angry about it, because if she does, they switch places in this story. Sam says, her and Nina? and Carly says, yeah. Nina becomes the victim and she becomes the villain, which is laughable, after Nina kept Sonny from his family out of spite, and stole months from his life in the process. Sam saw; she watched. They were barely hanging on over here, while Sonny and Nina attended barn dances and barbecues. And God forbid she wants Nina to deal with some kind of consequences; that makes Carly the bad guy. Sam says she hardly thinks that makes Carly… but Carly says, oh yes it does. She doesn’t have the words for how messed up this is. Sam says she actually thinks Carly is doing a great job.

Epiphany approaches Dr. Rose, and asks if she can have a word about Marshall. He says she knows he can’t discuss Marshall’s case with her, and she says she knows, but she couldn’t help noticing he quickly determined it was a simple medication issue. He says he’s confident in his diagnosis, and she says, with all due respect, in her experience, it’s best to perform ambulatory monitoring to rule out any underlying causes of hypertension. He says he understands she’s a very experienced nurse, but as Mr. Ashford’s doctor, he knows what he’s doing.

Curtis goes into the examining room, and asks how Marshall is feeling. Marshall says he’s embarrassed by all the attention, and Curtis asks if this has happened before. Marshall tells him, the doctor says there’s better medication that should help, and Curtis asks how long he’s had blood pressure issues. Marshall says, this isn’t an issue; he has it under control. Curtis says, really? Look where he is. Marshall says, it’s nothing for Curtis to concern himself about, and Curtis says, what if it’s hereditary? and Marshall says, leave it alone.

Alexis says, Sam told Harmony that she’s watching her? and Harmony says, it was more a warning than a statement. Alexis says she wishes Sam hadn’t told her that, and Harmony says she didn’t tell Alexis to cause friction between Alexis and Sam; in fact, the total opposite. She and Alexis talked about how difficult their friendship might be for Alexis’s daughters. Alexis says, they did, and she understands where Sam is coming from, but she’s also a grown woman, and is allowed to have the friends she chooses. Harmony says, under normal circumstances, sure. The bartender puts her to-go bag on the bar, and Harmony says, Alexis knows she cherishes their friendship, but now they’re seeing the reality of it. She didn’t want to keep Alexis in the dark about how Sam was feeling. If she needs to distance herself while her daughters come to terms – if her daughters come to terms with it – she completely understands. She takes the bag, and leaves, and Alexis goes back to the table. Shawn asks, what’s wrong? and Alexis says, she’s trying to do what’s right for her and what’s right for her daughters, and she’s starting to think that might not be possible.

Brook lets Elizabeth, Finn, and Chase in, and says she’s really sorry. Elizabeth asks, what happened? and Chase says he’d like to know the answer to that too. Brook says she was upstairs giving herself a manicure; moving is hard on the nails. She heard a noise, multiple noises actually. She grabbed a vase and came downstairs. We see Cameron and Josslyn on the couch, Elizabeth examining Cameron’s head, and Finn checking his eyes. Brook says she thought Cameron was an intruder, so she whacked him over the head with the vase. Cameron says, she’s very strong, and Brook thanks him. Josslyn says this is all her fault. She thought the house was empty. She had no idea her dad loaned it to Brook. Elizabeth says, the good news is, he doesn’t need stitches, and Finn says, he’s going to be okay. Brook says, thank God, and Elizabeth thanks Brook for calling her. Brook says, of course (🍷), and Cameron says, yeah, thanks a bunch. Brook is just glad his head is still intact, and Josslyn says, her too. She’s really sorry for the… Brook says, intrusion. It’s okay. Josslyn promises it won’t happen again, and Elizabeth suggests they get home. They leave with Finn, and Chase asks if Brook is okay. She says she feels awful that she hurt the poor kid, and he says, he gets why she called Elizabeth, but why did she call him?

Sonny and Dante sit down, and Sonny says, Dante should have gotten a beer while he had the chance. He asks if Dante wants to get in the ring, and Dante says, in a minute. He wants Sonny to tell him what’s going on first. Sonny says, he did, but Dante says, there’s clearly more than that going on. Sonny says, Carly came by to say goodnight to Donna and Avery. That’s what she’s doing now to make them think everything is normal. Dante says, but everything’s not normal? and Sonny says, it isn’t because they keep asking, when is mom coming? Is she staying? It’s not going to work out. Dante says, Sonny did tell Michael that he’d give Carly space, and Sonny says, he tried, but it’s obvious to him that Carly refuses to see what’s in front of her.

Sam asks if Carly has been holding this in the whole time, and Carly says she lost her mind on Nina at first, but yes, since the hearing. I guess she’s leaving out the part about going to Nina’s office and slapping her. Sam says she can’t imagine how hard this must be on Carly, and Carly says, anger is the easy emotion. She’d rather feel rage than everything else. Sam asks, what’s everything else? and Carly says she feels embarrassed. She feels stupid. She should have known something was going on. All the times Sonny insisted they shouldn’t go after Nina and all he wanted was to focus on their life together. Tell her one time Sonny hasn’t demanded retaliation, especially when someone hurts his family. God knows they were. Sam says she knows they were, and Carly says, she remembers how confused she was, and how devastated everyone was. Nina did that to them, and Sonny stood by her. He swore on the stand that he wasn’t Nina’s victim. What the hell was that? They’re all Nina’s victims; every single one of them. Do they not matter? How is she supposed to believe Sonny loves her when he still has a place in his heart for a woman who hurt her like that?

Brook tells Chase, she accidentally assaulted a hormonal teenager. She’s sorry if she didn’t know what to do. He says she really needs to break this pattern of hitting people in the head, accidental or not, and she says she was alone in a strange house that they moved into to protect a tiny baby from a giant psychopath. She’s sorry. She was terrified and he was working out. He says, she told him to go, but she says, not because she wanted him to.

Curtis says, for someone who says they want a relationship – Marshall says he does – why is everything off limits? Marshall says, not everything, just some things. If he thought it was important to Curtis in any way… Curtis says Marshall’s medical history is important. He just suffered a cardiac episode. Marshall says he’s fine, and asks if the doctor didn’t talk to Curtis. Curtis says he’s talking to Marshall. He needs information from Marshall. Does anything warrant a conversation, or is he only allowed to know that Marshall plays the clarinet? Marshall says he’s sorry the events in his life have made him guarded. He’s also sorry the events in Curtis’s life have made him more inquisitive. Curtis says, these are regular run-of-the-mill questions. The only thing that irregular is, Marshall refuses to answer them. Marshall puts his hand on Curtis’s shoulder, and says he hopes and prays they’ll somehow find a way to reconcile their differences. Curtis says, they’re some big differences, but Marshall says, they’re not insurmountable. He’s willing to try. Is Curtis?

Carly tells Sam, she gets it. If she ignores all the horrible things Nina has done, she can see why it would be hard for Sonny to turn off his feelings for her. She couldn’t do it with Jason. Sam shifts her position, and Carly says she’s sorry, but Sam says, don’t be. They passed that a long time ago. Carly says she knows it hurt Sonny when he came home and found out she and Jason had developed feelings for each other. That was really difficult for him. Never mind that it never would have happened if it weren’t for Nina and her lies. But the point is, the second Sonny came home, she and Jason shut that door permanently, and she’s done everything she can to do right by her husband. But Sonny is still acting on his feelings for Nina. Sam asks if Sonny is saying he loves Nina, and Carly tells her, he’s saying he still has feelings for her, but what they had is in the past. How does she believe that when he keeps defending her? Sam says, Nina’s in the wrong, clearly, but if Sonny keeps sticking up for her, Sonny is making Carly feel like it’s her attacking Nina. Carly says, yeah, and what does it say about him if he feels that way? More important, what does it say about their marriage?

Sonny tells Dante, he and Carly had this moment, that undeniable pull, then Carly’s walls go up. Dante says he’s sorry, and Sonny says he just thinks if they were living together, Carly would see what they have and who they are, and nothing’s changed. Whatever residual feelings he has for Nina doesn’t compare to his love for Carly. Dante says, maybe deep down she does, but she hasn’t processed it yet. Sonny knows he hurt her, right? Sonny says, but if anybody gets it, it’s Carly. She fell in love with Jason, then she insisted on being with him. What’s the difference between that and what happened with Nina? Dante says, but there is a difference. Say what he will about Carly and Jason. He’s not going to touch that one, but they thought Sonny was dead, so in their eyes, there was no betrayal. In Carly’s eyes, she feels Sonny betrayed her, because he protected Nina after he knew Nina lied about him being alive. Sonny admits he didn’t say anything when he first came back, because he thought he could get over these feelings. Then Jason died and a lot went down. Dante says, the bottom line is, Carly asked for space and time. Is she Sonny’s person? Sonny says, she is, and Dante says, then he’s got give them to her. Sonny says, that’s worst thing he could do.

Back home, Elizabeth tells Finn that she’s going to check on Jake and Aiden, and goes upstairs. Josslyn’s phone dings, and she says, oh no. Devon just texted. He’ll be here soon to pick her up. Cameron says, goodbye already? and she says she knows. Finn says, he’ll just be… not here, and goes in the kitchen. Josslyn says she had a lot of fun tonight. Up until… Cameron says he knows. They can try again at the cabin. She says, that should be no problem. They just have to avoid Esme, and Spencer, and Trina. He says, see? Easy. She says, honestly, alone or not, she likes spending time with him, and he says, as does he, and they kiss.

Brook tells Chase that she’s sorry. She’s just overwhelmed with the situation. They keep trying to set boundaries, and Bailey’s still in danger, and she doesn’t know what the right thing to do is. He says, it’s an adjustment for sure, but they’ll figure it out together.

Elizabeth meets Finn in the kitchen, and he says, some first date, huh? She says, not the most romantic in history, and they laugh. He says, it might sound crazy given all the interruptions, but he had a good time with her. If she lets him, he’d love to take her out again. She says she’d like that very much, although she’s hoping for less eventful. He says he’ll see what he can do, and they kiss.

Shawn tells Alexis, he’s all for second chances. God knows he’s been given a few, but Harmony’s not just a former criminal; the crimes she committed were against Alexis’s daughters. She says she’s very well aware of that, and doesn’t excuse any of that. However, it’s important to realize that Harmony was also one of Shiloh’s victims. He asks if she thinks Sam and Kristina will see it that way, and she says she doesn’t know about Sam, but truthfully, Kristina’s opinion matters more. He asks if Kristina knew how beneficial Alexis’s relationship with Harmony was, what does she think that opinion would be?   

Epiphany goes in to see Marshall, and he says, she’s still here. She says, hypertension can be a sign of something more serious. She knows Dr. Rose is convinced it’s just a matter of Marshall’s medication, but if he wants a second opinion… but he says, no; it won’t be necessary. It’s happened before, and everything’s been fine. She asks if he calls this fine, and he says he and the doctor have an understanding. He thanks her for looking out for him, and says, her patients are lucky to have her. She tells him, don’t think he has an out. She’s still paying her half of the bill. They laugh, and he says, deal.

Portia asks Curtis how Marshall is, and he says, the same; closed off and stubborn. He feels like he’s getting whiplashed. One minute he never wants to see Marshall again, and the next minute, he’s reminded of why they’re at an impasse in the first place. She says, relationships are tricky, and he says, that’s an understatement. She says, they’ll make progress; they’ll have setbacks. It’s to be expected. He says, how can they expect to make progress if Marshall is controlling how much he can and can’t know? She tells him, he said it himself. He wanted time, and now thankfully he has it. It’s up to him how he wants to spend that time. He says he does want a relationship with his father. He just doesn’t know if it’s possible.

Sonny says he took Dante’s advice. He talked to Carly, but it didn’t help much. Dante says, or Sonny could say he made his point, and she made hers. He thinks it would be a huge mistake if Sonny doesn’t listen to what she wants. Sonny says, she wants space. They had it for nine months. They should be making up for that. Being apart, they gain nothing. Dante says, obviously, Carly doesn’t see it that way.

Sam tells Carly, she knows how hard it is when you and your husband aren’t on the same page. She’s so sorry. Carly says, for the first time in a long time, she has no idea what to do. She doesn’t know what comes next. That’s not true. She knows that she goes to bed, and she’ll get up in the morning because she promised the girls she’d be there early to make them pancakes. Sam says she’s going to go. Does Carly want her to call Josslyn? She doesn’t want Carly to be alone. Carly says, Josslyn and Michael have already came down pretty hard on Sonny. She doesn’t want them more involved than they already are, or feel they have to pick sides. Sam starts to leave, then stops and asks Carly, what’s the hardest part? Carly asks what Sam means, and Sam says, Carly told her that she was angry, then she said she was embarrassed. What else? Carly says, underneath it all is this deep aching sadness. Nina devastated her family, and she’s not so sure they can recover.

Curtis says he guesses Marshall is free to go, and Marshall says, he guesses so. He’s sorry things got tense earlier. He didn’t know what to expect when he came back, but he knew he had to try. It seems he’s not doing too good of a job. It means a lot that Curtis showed up. He should call for a car. Do they have taxis out front? Curtis says, they do, but he’ll give Marshall a ride. Ready? Marshall says, lead the way.

Chase hands Brook a glass of wine, and she thanks him. He says, long day. huh? She asks if he was working out when she called, and he says, he and Dante were just finishing up. He was a little confused when he didn’t recognize the number. She says, her phone died; she called from Cameron’s phone. He says, Cameron has his cell info? and she says, no. He asks how she called him then, and she says she knows his number by heart. He says, for real? and she tells him, don’t sound so pleased. After the Maxie/fake Chloe horror show, she thought it was a good idea to memorize some important numbers in case of an emergency. He says, important? and she says, he is Bailey’s father. She flashes back to overhearing Chase say letting himself fall for someone like Brook would be a major disaster; she lied, schemed, and hurt people. Brook says she’s so tired. It turns out amorous teenagers breaking into your house takes a lot more out of you than she thought. Sorry she ruined his night. He says she didn’t, and she says, it’s not always going to be like this. Most of the time, he won’t even know she’s here. She tells him, goodnight, and goes upstairs.

Alexis says, Shawn is right, but he says he’s not looking to be right. She says, the friendship she formed with Harmony in prison will end up being hurtful to Kristina. Shawn says, even if Kristina knew how Alexis feels about Harmony now? and she says, even if, and she doesn’t want to make things difficult for Kristina. He says he thinks she has her answer, and she says, apparently, she’s not going to be able to continue her friendship with Harmony.

Dante says, if Sonny keeps pushing Carly, he’s going to sabotage the whole thing, but Sonny says, no. The only way he’s going to do that is by letting this go on. He needs to up the stakes; he needs to show Carly how much she means to him. One thing he does know is, he can’t fix this if they’re not together. If she wants time, then they’ll do it together. Dante says he doesn’t think that’s what Carly meant, and Sonny says he doesn’t care what she meant. It’s Carly who he wants, and he’s going to let her know that. End of story. Sonny leaves, and Dante looks worried.

Carly thanks Sam for letting her get all that off her chest, and Sam says she practically forced Carly into it. Carly says, either way, it felt good. Sam says, she’s glad. In case no one told Carly, she’s not the bad guy here. Nina hurt her, a lot, and if she’s being honest, Sonny did too. Carly is entitled to feel all of these emotions. Just know that. Carly thanks her, and Sam leaves.

Elizabeth asks how Cameron’s head is; does he need some ice? He says he’s fine. He’s so sorry her date got messed up because of him, but she says, she’s just glad he still needs her. Is everything good with him and Josslyn? He says, everything is great, and she says she likes seeing his smile. He says he likes seeing hers too. He bets Franco’s really glad to see them doing so well. She says she hopes so, and he says he knows so. She says, he and Josslyn are being safe, right? and he says, goodnight. She says she can’t wait to finish this conversation in the morning, and he says, great, as he goes upstairs.

The clock says quarter to three, when there’s a knock at the door. Elizabeth comes down in her robe, and opens the door to Dante. He says he’s sorry. He knows it’s early, but something terrible happened last night, and he thought she should know about it.

Tomorrow, Chase asks Finn what the hell he’s talking about, Maxie says there’s nothing else to remember, Cameron asks why Dante is here, and Peter can’t wait to tell the world what someone did to him.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Emily shopped for bathing suits with Jen and Nicole. She said she didn’t remember having all those tequila shots at Max’s party. In Emily’s interview, she said Jen and Nicole were not normal sized people. Nicole said it was going to be awkward with Noella now, and we flashed back to Nicole telling Noella that she couldn’t be the friend Noella needed. Nicole said Noella had talked sh*t about her and Heather, and she was over it. In Emily’s interview, she said, she didn’t know what was going on, but clearly Nicole’s intent was to get her to think badly about Noella. Nicole said if Noella went to Cabo, she wasn’t going. Emily suggested they share a room – a padded room.

While Shannon packed for the trip, she called John. She said she hadn’t seen any of the women for two weeks, since she’d been in Nashville. Before that, she’d felt like they were going after each other. In Shannon’s interview, she said Gina and Emily had blindsided her with their untrust ambush. They’d never discussed it further, and it posed a potential problem. She was glad she and Heather were in a decent place. We flashed back to Heather saying Shannon would lose more than her friendship if Shannon ever came after her family again. In her interview, Shannon told John that she was having fun reconnecting with Heather, and he said, it was time for fun and healing.

Gina visited Heather in her giant house that apparently has more than one doorbell, since Gina got one of the staff by mistake. Heather joked (I think) that there was a vetting process. They hung out in the hallowed closet, and in Gina’s interview, she said her sex dreams were the closet. She told Heather that she was excited to be flying private, and Heather said she’d rented a house in Cabo. Gina asked if Heather would do her a favor. She knew Heather and Noella weren’t thick as thieves, but as excited as she was, she felt badly for Noella. They’d been texting, and Noella said she was going to be lonely when they were in Maxico. In Gina’s interview, she said she understood what Noella was going through. She’d rather Noella be with her, or she was going to worry about her. Noella was going through a hard time, and Gina wanted her to have fun. Heather said she didn’t dislike Noella, but every time she tries, something goes sideways. She extended an invitation to Max’s party, and when Max came home, she found out Noella had given her a questionable gift. It was a Pride themed card game, which was fine, but Max was 17 and the questions weren’t appropriate. She read some of them, but so much was bleeped, the only audible word was licking. In her interview, Gina said, it was so awkward. Being in this room was like when you make the mistake of watching a movie with your parents, and there’s an explicit sex scene. You’d do anything to get TF out of the room, but you’re trapped. Boy, do I know about that. When I was in school in NYC, I’d gone home for winter break, and my sister and I wanted to watch American Werewolf in London. My dad was with us, and we’d forgotten there was a nakey shower scene. It wasn’t all that explicit, but nothing we wanted to watch in front of him. When it got to that scene, it was so quiet, you could hear the proverbial pin drop. After what seemed like hours of silence, my sister suddenly said, I don’t know why they have to put this kind of scene in every movie. Yep. I wanted to get TF out, but I was trapped. Heather reads another card that says something about telling Heather Dubrow to f*** off. She told Gina that it was basically porn, and Gina said, it wasn’t appropriate. Heather said she didn’t want anyone to feel left out or bad, especially at her expense, but give her a reason why it was a good idea to invite Noella. Gina told Heather that she wasn’t saying this was her best decision, and couldn’t give Heather a reason why things wouldn’t go awry, but she was asking Heather to do her a solid. Heather said she’d extend an invite, but it was on Gina.

Heather conferred with her driver Pete about the trip, and he said, it should be fun. She asked if he was being serious or facetious, and he said, they had champagne, right? In Heather’s interview, she said they went to Cabo ten times a year, maybe more. She loved Cabo, and she was excited to hang out with the women there. She and Shannon historically, had a great time on trips. We flashed back to some of that, and Heather said, she and Gina have connected. She loved Jen, and she was excited to get to know Emily. Heather told the group that Nicole said she couldn’t come, and Noella would be coming late. In her interview, she said she wasn’t sorry Noella would be late. We saw them in the private airport area via Heather Cam, and on the private plane via Gina Cam. In Gina’s interview, she said, some people would think Heather was controlling, but she thought, this bitch is handling everything. All she has to do is show up. Yes I’ll fly on your private jet. In Heather’s interview, she said she had a legal pad where she wrote everything down. It was important to have a framework or there was no plan. The plane looked like a good time. I would love to fly on a PJ. I’d even settle for flying first class.

The women arrived at San Jose del Cabo, Mexico, and had more champagne in the limo going to the villa. Emily told Shannon that if she said fun Emily one more time, she’d snatch the tequila out of Shannon’s ass. Which made no sense whatsoever, but was still funny. The group was met by the staff, including a Spanish tutor, and some tequila. Heather toasted to a successful, fabulous trip. She said the villa was amazing, with a big main house, and little casitas. They had privacy and pools. They danced around by the pool to a mariachi band and Spanish dancer. The rooms were… Oh never mind, you know how fabulous they were. They took a tour of the place, deciding where they were going to bunk, and in Gina’s interview, she said she and Emily were vacation wives. If there was one bed, no problem. If Travis wasn’t there, she could slot Emily right in. The found the perfect casita, with two beds.

Jen called, and in her interview, she said she never took trips without her family. If she had time away from the office, she spent it with her kids and husband. She said, there was no balance in home life, work, and friendships. If you worked on one, the others suffered. Heather showed Emily and Gina some house plans for a place in Cabo, and in her interview, she said she and Terry had been talking about vacation homes for two years. She wanted it to be a beautiful, cool, sexy hideaway. She told the two of them that Terry thought it was a lot of money to park in a place they don’t live at, but she wanted to have a place they could give the kids; a place that could be theirs. She and Terry had them when they were older, and they wouldn’t be around forever. In Heather’s interview, she said she had a dream, seeing her kids in the future. They were looking at something, but she didn’t know what, and one of them said, mom would have loved this. She wanted to make sure they had places to go together. She told Emily and Gina that she was hoping to find something already built, and would be looking at land and houses tomorrow. They could do everything or nothing; their choice. Gina wanted to go horseback riding, and in her interview, she said she was a legit survivor of a shark attack, and we flashed back to when she was on a jet ski and there was a shark in the vicinity that was not Jaws. She said, riding a horse was still better than swimming with sharks.

In Noella’s interview, she said, obviously, she was the last person invited, but she could get over it for her feet in the sand and a Skinnygirl margarita. I have to give a shout out to Noella’s chihuahua Rihanna, who is just an adorable angel. Emily, Gina, and Shannon went horseback riding, and in Shannon’s interview, she said, she grew up around horses; they had 18 acres. In Emily’s interview, she said she grew up riding horses in Ohio, and in Gina’s interview, she said she didn’t know how to ride a horse. Shannon thought her horse was a little feisty, and they all trotted down the beach. In her interview, Gina said Emily looked good on a horse; hair flowing and sexy. She expected Emily would get off the horse, and there was going to be a porno. That’s how good she looked.

Heather told Jen that she never ate carbs so she could eat them on vacation, and Jen said she had a narrow diet because of how her schedule was. Heather asked if she did family dinners, and Jen said she strived for them, but usually didn’t get home until 8 or 9 pm. Heather said, earlier in his career, Terry had never around, and we flashed back to Terry saying, Max was sending him photos of the empty dad chair. Heather said he’d gotten to the point where changes had to be made, and he did. In Jen’s interview, she said Ryne didn’t recognize what she did for the family because he wasn’t living it. In turn, she didn’t recognize what he did, but she wanted the family dynamic; they were disconnected. She told Heather that she was going to work out, and in her interview, she said, in her 20s, she’d had a long, painful journey with a tumor in her femur. They’d replaced the marrow with cement, and she was always in pain, but managed it with physical therapy, and working out. Heather thought it should be a chill-by-the-pool day.

After riding, Emily, Gina, and Shannon sat on the beach. Gina popped some champagne, and Shannon almost got creamed by the cork. Shannon was worried about Noella coming, and the reception she’d get from Heather. Gina said she was the reason Noella was on the trip. She’d asked Heather for a personal favor. In Shannon’s interview, she said she was surprised. She thought Noella should come, but if there were feelings of animosity, she was worried about that. Gina thought if they got Noella and Heather under the same roof, they’d bond, to which Emily gave a quick and hard, no, she didn’t think so. In Gina’s interview, she said she was hoping they’d hit it off. She wanted Noella to come with an open mind, and hoped it worked out. Shannon suggested Gina act as peacemaker, and Gina said she just wanted to take one step in the right direction. Here’s where the camera panned out, and we saw the poor guide waiting with the horses.

They came back and got in the pool at Gina and Emily’s room. This place was absolutely amazing, but everyone kept saying, it’s so hot, and I’m not fond of the heat. In Shannon’s interview, she said, tequila Emily and Gina were more fun than the everyday Emily and Gina. In Emily’s interview, she said, fun Shannon was great. There was no bad behavior; just having a good time. Everyone got dressed for dinner, and Heather mentioned that Terry was having dinner with John and Travis. On the way to the restaurant, Shannon said Noella had texted to say they wouldn’t take her passport, but Heather rolled her eyes and said, Noella forgot her passport. In Heather’s interview, she said she had mixed emotions about Noella coming. She wanted to believe it was going to be great, but the truth was, historically, when Noella showed up, things went to sh*t.

By the time Noella got there, the others were already at the restaurant, and in Noella’s interview, she said, everything was lovely, and she wasn’t being shady, but – she fanned herself – she was the guest. She was grateful for the invite, but she would have made an effort to be there when the guest arrived. At the restaurant, the women were shown to the jungle room, which was magnificent. Shannon said Noella had texted, and was on her way there. In Gina’s interview, she said, it was a big job. Noella was a bit of a wild card, and she didn’t know if she could tame a wild child. She had the feeling that Noella was going to light this sh*t on fire.

Noella was brought to the table, and Heather said, the traveling sounded long. Noella said, it was pure hellishness, but it’s all good; it was so gorgeous there. Heather thanked Noella for joining them, told everyone, happy dinner, and they ordered starters. Noella explained that she usually traveled by private plane, and brought a passport card, but the airport would only accept an actual passport. In Noella’s interview, she said she knew she was spoiled AF, but this was her first trip since she’d lost the private plane. They got tequila shots, and Noella whined that there was no ice. She said, yay to warm tequila, and in Heather’s interview, she said, she understood getting picky about vintage champagne, or the clarity and color of a diamond, but it was a tequila shot. Throw it back and shut up.

Noella raved about how much she loved Shannon’s phone calls, and how Shannon was always checking in with her. Shannon said she’d been through it, and in Jen’s interview, she said Noella was in The Noella Show. Emily asked Noella why she’d been talking smack about her and Gina. She’d said all Emily did was take the kids out for yogurt, and go to Costco. Noella admitted she’d said that, although I don’t quite understand how anyone could come up with an insult like that. I’m not sure if it’s even an insult. Gina told Noella that she’d said Travis was a loser, but Noella insisted she never said anything about Travis. In her interview, Noella said she did say something about Gina’s house before she’d even met Gina, but she’d heard it from Braunwyn. Ugh. I wanted to like this woman, especially since she has a cute dog, but no. She said, obviously Nicole had gotten marching orders to discredit her, and when a producer asked, from who? she said, Heather, duh.

Emily pointed out that Noella wasn’t eating the meal she’d ordered, and Noella made a big production about taking a bite of potatoes. In Gina’s interview, she said, if Noella didn’t want to eat, be low key. Gina was just trying to manage the dynamic, and the dynamic was already becoming unmanageable. Gina, Emily, and Noella went to the bathroom, which was code for, they were going to talk on the side. Emily told Noella that she thought Heather was annoyed that she was picking up the tab for a meal Noella ordered, but didn’t eat after Heather had thrown out $3 million in sushi the previous week. In Noella’s interview, she said, she didn’t need anyone to tell her how to behave. Emily and Gina must have drunk the Kool-Aid. Something was going on. These weren’t the same girls she’d hung out with before. She told Emily that she didn’t care if Heather thought she should eat or not, and at the table, Heather said this was the exact situation she didn’t want. She was worried. She hadn’t wanted to do this, and still didn’t.  

To be continued…

This season, a trip to Aspen; Shane gets his diploma (or whatever you call it) for passing the bar; Ryne leaves Jen; Noella has a breakdown, and says she smells bullsh*t, but I’m not sure if the two are related; John tells Shannon, f*** Gina; Shannon says she owns her sh*t; Heather says, Noella is a liar and a thirsty girl; and Noella is shocked Heather knows what thirsty means. Is that an admission of thirst guilt?

🏂 Sliding Under the Covers Like…

It’s been real, so come back again tomorrow, for soap and a Supermodel on the Runway. Until then, stay safe, stay looking for hidden opportunities, and stay knowing that even if difficulties are big, that doesn’t mean they’re insurmountable.