Category Archives: general hospital

Jun8

June 7, 2017 – Nina Says Good-by, Ramona Spontaneously Combusts, 1981 & Lotsa Food

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan visits Curtis with a cupcake that has a candle in it. She remembered it was his birthday, and brought his favorite, red velvet. She tells him make a wish, and he says it already came true.

Finn and Hayden talk about the upcoming baby and his drug test. Obrecht overhears.

Elizabeth’s house is being fumigated from the class guinea pig’s visit. Cameran is miffed that he has to go to work with her.

Spencer says he’s still on French time, but Laura tells him to get his intercontinental butt in gear. He says now that Valentin is in custody, he can be in Port Charles permanently, instead of in exile.

Valentin asks Dante and Lulu how Charlotte is. Lulu told her that he’s away on business and there’s a time difference, so they couldn’t call right now, and it seemed to satisfy her. She says she wants what best for Charlotte, and Dante says that’s why they’re here. Valentin is going to prison, and they have to figure out what’s going to happen with her.

Anna thinks about what Valentin said about her own transgressions.

Finn tells Hayden that he’s not taking a backseat to prenatal visits just because he might be reinstated. She wonders why he seems skeptical about reinstatement. He says someone is tampering with his drug screens, but what if it’s not Brad? Hayden tells him good things are coming. She makes him say it, and they kiss.

Elizabeth tells Cameran he needs to do his summer reading. He takes out a comic book, and she’s like, no. Hayden comes to the desk. Elizabeth fills her in as to why Cameran is there, and Hayden says she has the day off, and can take Cameran for the day. She says it will be good practice. Elizabeth asks for what, and Hayden gets vague, talking about someday.

Spencer tells Laura that he knows his father isn’t coming back, but Laura is there, and Alexis. She says they’ve all missed him, but she put him in the school for his safety. Valentin being arrested is a good start, but she wants to know the charges will stick. Spencer talks about Anna being fearless and resourceful.

Mac sees Anna in the park. He says Robert thinks Valentin’s extradition will be hard on her. She says that Robert should mind his own business. It’s her job, but she thinks it has little to do with justice.

Nathan asks Nina how she is, and she says how do you think? To him Valentin is a fugitive; to her he’s her husband and he loves Charlotte. She says they could have gotten away if it wasn’t for her.

Lulu says Charlotte needs to be with her mother. He says she’ll be fine with Nina. Lulu tells him that Nina is the one who turned him in. Because she’s a selfish twit.

Jordan says she has to go to work. Curtis says he only gets one birthday, but she says it will still be his birthday when she gets off. He says it sounds like she has something planned, but he’d be happy to just be with her. She says he already has her, he doesn’t need to game her. He says it’s how he feels, and that every day with her is a gift. She says maybe she could push back some things to the afternoon. They get busy, and Curtis says, happy birthday to me.

Elizabeth agrees to Hayden taking Cameran for the afternoon. Laura arrives with Spencer. He says he moved back home, but Laura says they’re discussing it. He bluffed his way out of boarding school and turned up on her doorstep. Hayden tells him she’s sorry his dad is gone, and makes him promise that they’ll catch up. Elizabeth says that she doesn’t have to take Cameran. Cameran tells Spencer that he just missed Emma, and that they hung out. Laura says that today, Spencer is going to wait quietly while she goes to her meeting. He asks Hayden to save him, and she suggests he come with her and Cameran.

Anna says that Valentin isn’t innocent, but not as guilty as the bureau maintains. Max says she blames Alex. She says so far, Alex is refusing to cooperate, but it will change now that Valentin has been apprehended. She wonders if Alex will pin it all on him.

Nathan tells Nina that Valentin has committed so many crimes, they can’t even try him in the US. It has to go to the ICC. She tells him to stop acting like it’s black and white for her. Years ago, he had a weapon that he sold to Helena and it was horrible, but he also saved her life and got shot because of it. He fell in love with her and made her happier than she’s ever been. He made her part of a family, and it was real. She says she doesn’t know if she can turn her back on him.

Valentin tells Lulu that Nina was acting in Charlotte’s best interest, and will continue to do so as her stepmother. Lulu says she should have been in court this morning then, and he says they didn’t waste time. She asks him to help work through the transition to minimize Charlotte’s confusion and fear. Like it or not, they both have to be her parents right now.

Griff talks to Finn about Ava. He says his real concern is infection, and he needs Finn’s expertise. Obrecht says unless he can’t provide it.

Elizabeth calls Hayden. She’s at Perks with the boys, and she says she’s got this. They order drinks, and she asks if they’re allowed all that caffeine and sugar.

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte needs continuity. They need him to tell Charlotte that he wants her to stay with them. They need to make her understand, and it will be hard, but worse if he’s not in their corner. Valentin says he’ll do it on one condition – no one tells her why he’s there. He’ll choose the reason and tell her himself, and they’ll back him up. Lulu agrees. She says it’s really what’s best. Dante says they’ll be in touch.

Max asks if Anna is okay with testifying. She says Alex had no problem keeping her in a drug induced coma and impersonating her. He says what about Valentin? Is she going to be able to take the stand against him?

Valentin has a visitor. It’s Nina. He smiles at her.

Curtis says thanks for his dessert. Jordan says he barely touched it, and he says that he was satisfied with other desert. She leaves for work and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Curtis’s Aunt Stella. She asks if he always answers the door in his altogether, and when was the last time he cleaned. He asks if she’s okay. She says she came to surprise him on his birthday, and asks if it’s a problem. He says no, and tells her to have a seat. He asks if she wants anything, and she says to know what’s going on in his life.

Nathan tells Jordan that Valentin is behaving himself. Nina asks Valentin about his wound, and he says it’s healing. She says he must know they wouldn’t have found him if not for her. He asks if she’s apologizing. She says she didn’t think it would be good for Charlotte to be a fugitive. She thinks he knows that oo, and panicked, which isn’t his style. He says it wasn’t his best plan, but for the record, he was going to send for her. Nina says she’d be a fugitive too. He says they could have continued as a family, and would have been happy. Nina says now they’ll never know.

Anna tells Mac that she doesn’t have much to offer. It would just be her word against his. She can say he took the Chimera from the ballroom with the intention to destroy it, but surrendered it to her. She says she’ll be 100% honest, but any case they have rests with Alex.

Obrecht tells Griff that Finn is suspended and can’t do a consultation, but Griff says no one else is as experienced. Obrecht suggests that Finn’s judgement might be clouded by drugs. Griff asks Finn if he’s under the influence, and when Finn says no, he says it’s good enough for him. Obrecht asks if it will be good enough for Ava if Finn’s faculties are impaired. Griff says it’s just a consult; he’s not treating anyone. As they leave, Obrecht says nor will he be.

Hayden suggests the museum. Spencer likes it, but Cameran would rather go to the park and play soccer. Spencer says he knew it would be too intellectually challenging for Cameran, but they can go and Cameran can find a soccer game. Maybe someone will pick him up like the stray that he is. Cameran tells Spencer that no one missed him, adding that he kissed Emma and she loved it. Spencer throws whipped cream at him.

Laura tells Elizabeth that the meeting canceled. She says she could get Spencer, but Elizabeth tells her to do something for herself. Laura likes the sound of that, but her phone rings. It’s Hayden asking for help. Spencer and Cameran are going wild, throwing things, especially frothy things, all over the place.

Laura arrives at Perks she says that’s enough in her angry grandma voice. She tells the boys that they both know better than this. Cameran says Spencer started it, and Spencer says he was trying to protect himself. Laura tells them to clean up everything. She asks Hayden what happened. Hayden says they had caffeine and sugar and went crazy. She’s pregnant and what kind of mother is she going to be? She starts crying, and Laura hugs her

Finn asks to talk to Obrecht. He says he accepts she doesn’t like him, but doesn’t know why she’d want Ava to suffer. They don’t have to be friends, but just good doctors. He asks her to put her hate for him aside for long enough to do right by the patient.

Curtis tells Stella he’s still doing PI stuff, and really likes Port Charles. He offers to show her around, but she says she doesn’t want to be any trouble. She asks if he’s seeing anyone. He says he’s always seeing someone, and she asks if it’s someone she should meet. He starts talking about the hotel, and she says she can stay with him.

Robert calls Anna. She asks if his ears were burning, and then says, what? when?

Dante wonders if they should pull Charlotte and Rocco out of school for the day. Lulu says she’s worried about how Charlotte is going to handle the news. Dante says she has an extensive support system. Lulu says none of them are her father, and she’s going to find out the truth. She asks when it comes out, what if she blames Lulu? Because all Lulu ever thinks about is herself.

Valentin talks about how Nina turned him in once before, and that she made the right decision, but her eyes betrayed her. He knew he’d see her again. Now he loves her, and can’t imagine life without her. She says it was different last time, and part of her knew he’d come back. This time, he won’t. Even if he beats the charges, he won’t come back to her. He says he loves her. He has a past, and it’s over. Nina says so is the part with her and gives him divorce papers. Argh! My heart!

Stella asks Curtis if she’ll be in his way, and he says no; he’ll crash on the couch. She says she’ll cook, but he says his cupboards are bare. She says they’ll go shopping. He asks how long she’s staying, and she tells him long enough to celebrate his birthday and see TJ. As long as she doesn’t cross paths with his mother, she’ll be fine. Gulp.

Jordan is having something delivered for Curtis’s birthday. Nathan has the transfer information for Valentin, and they go to her office.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s not asking for anything except her freedom. Valentin says what if he doesn’t want to be free from her?

Laura tells Hayden that they don’t pop out like this. By the time they’re at this stage, you’ve learned to wrangle them. She says congratulations, and tells Hayden that she can do this. Hayden asks her not to tell Elizabeth, and Laura agrees to keep it between them.

Griff asks for a word with Finn. Finn asks how soon he can see patients. Griff tells him that the test was positive for opioids, and they have no reason to question the results, since he hasn’t noticed the venomous hate pulsating from Obrecht. Finn says, so he’s suspended.

Nina tells Valentin that she can’t be married to a man in prison, and can’t be step mother to a girl she loves who lives with another family. She says it was gorgeous and beautiful, but it’s over. He asks her not to do this. She says it’s one less thing for him to worry about and leaves. Outside, she leans on the door.

Mac asks Anna if it’s bad news, and she says it depends on your point of view. Alex escaped, and the WSB doesn’t know where she is.

Another visitor comes for Valentin. He says, of course it’s you.

Curtis argues with Stella about Jordan, Michael wants Ava to pay, and Carly asks why Nelle would do anything to help them.

The Real Housewives of New York City

When we last left the Wives, Ramona kept repeating, “Are you kidding me?” twenty-thousand times, after Bethenny told her she hadn’t been a good friend.

Ramona says, “wow,” a few times too. She talks about when Bethenny was sick and she visited. Bethenny informs her that those are crisis moments, and most people rise to the occasion. Ramona says Bethenny has never been there for her the same way. Bethenny brings up some of the idiotic, nasty things Ramona has done, including stealing dresses from her. In a major deflective move, Ramona says Bethenny was topless, had sex in a water bed, and kissed another woman in a film. Bethenny tells her to mention it all, and Ramona says she went out with men for the money. In her interview, Bethenny says she can’t even screw her way to the middle, let alone to the top. Ramona says that Bethenny pretends to be a successful woman, but her brand is done, and Ramona is on top. Bethenny suggests she look at the numbers. In her interview, Ramona says she wants to hurt Bethenny because Bethenny is hurting her. She says Bethenny has always been paid for, while she is a self-made woman. I wonder how much alimony she’s getting. Ramona starts crying about her marriage. Bethenny tells her that she doesn’t see herself, and Ramona calls her an opportunist and user. She says Bethenny is broken, and she feels sorry for her. Ramona says that she loves people, but Bethenny attacked her, so she’s attacking back. Bethenny says she did nothing of the sort, but the truth came out, and Ramona calls her Bethenny the bitchy witch because Ramona has the insult capability of a five-year-old. Bethenny says it figures nobody else was there, and no one will understand what just happened.

Ramona complains to Dorinda about Bethenny. Sonja says she told Ramona to leave Bethenny alone. Ramona tells her own version of the story, which is very different from what we just saw. Bethenny talks to Carole, saying that it defies description, and every jealous thing Ramona has been storing up, came out. In her interview, Sonja says she’s not giving what Ramona says much credence. Ramona claims that Bethenny had sex for money. Dorinda comes to Bethenny’s room, and Bethenny says she’s leaving. Ramona continues to spin everything that Bethenny has ever done. Dorinda says every time Bethenny comes there, it’s a nightmare for her, and she wishes Ramona was the one leaving. Carole says she’ll go back to the city with her. Ramona calls her a loser, saying that Bethenny is just using her. As Bethenny is leaving, Ramona says, you started it (omg, she really is five), and Bethenny says as long as she’s happy with herself. Bethenny tells Ramona that she got her way, and they’ll never speak again. Ramona asks why she’s such a vicious bitch, and Bethenny tells her, that’s why. Ramona insists she was just trying to apologize, doesn’t get what’s wrong with Bethenny, and babbles about how they’ll get over it. Bethenny says she’s never coming back here again.

Feeling better, Tinsley comes downstairs, and is like, wow. Dorinda asks if she was there for the whole thing, but she says she couldn’t, and asks what happened. Dorinda says she didn’t expect such a tremendous argument, but there’s always next year. She talks about coming down to get water at 2 am, and finding Sonja sleeping sitting up at the dining room table. She nearly freaked out, thinking Sonja had died from a heart attack. We all start laughing, as Dorinda paints a picture of her waking Sonja in a panic.

Ramona’s phone rings. In her interview, she says she knows she drank too much and had a loose tongue, but doesn’t remember what she said. However, when she talks to the other women, Ramona makes something else up, including that she’d been defending Dorinda. We flash back to when Ramona criticized Dorinda about John. In her interview, Dorinda says Ramona is trying to backtrack. The Countess LuAnn appears, and says she’s there to make eggs a la Française, which is the cure-all for everything. In her interview, Dorinda tells us that Sonja decided to wear a beautiful pair of pajamas her late husband had given her – that were in a zipped bag in the closet. Doesn’t Sonja have her own loungewear? They are really nice.

Ramona talks to herself about Bethenny as she packs. Seriously, there is something wrong with this woman. Dorinda bids good-by to Luann, and says another one down. Sonja jumps on Tinsley’s bed, and tells her that she’s decided to invade Tinsley’s space. Tinsley says she knows she’s living at Sonja’s, but it’s unfair to make her uncomfortable. She thinks Sonja blew the Conner thing out of proportion. Sonja thinks she’s been easy-going, yet reminds Tinsley again that she can’t use Conner. Tinsley says she’s got it. In her interview, Dorinda says she loves to see them coming, and loves to see the going. Finally, everyone is out.

Back at Dorinda’s apartment on the UES, Dorinda unpacks. She says Ramona trashed her room in the Berkshires, pulling light fixtures off the wall. We see a picture, and I think, who does that? I’m sure I’ve been as drunk as you can get, and I have never once pulled anyone’s light fixtures off the wall. Dorinda says the house in the Berkshires is her home and a legacy, and enough has been taken from her. I’d have Ramona freaking arrested. Dorinda says that Ramona never even said a word. She wonders if Ramona treats all of her friends like this. I’d change Ramona’s tagline to, If you like me, you must have no taste. I also have to mention that her pupils are HUGE. Just sayin’.

Tinsley visits Carole. Carole wonders how Tinsley can still be living at Sonja’s, and is going to show her an apartment in the building. In her interview, Carole says she wants to take Tinsley under her wing a bit. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. Carole shows her the apartment along with the owner. It’s gorgeous, no surprise, and also huge. And $7,100 a month. They go back to Carole’s, where Adam is creating a salad for lunch. Carole talks about an art gallery opening, and they discuss the building and the area. Tinsley is concerned about being too far from where she gets her blow-out. Carole wonders if she really wants a change, or does she want to repeat her past life? Adam takes blog pics of them eating the salad. If I could afford it, I’d move in there in a heartbeat. Or a New York minute as it were.

Bethenny and her assistant go over her schedule. Bethenny is feeling overloaded. She finds a dead moth in the closet that she spent ten grand to de-mothify. Her assistant looks up the moth on the internet.

Dorinda meets Jill Zarin and her husband, Bobby, at a restaurant. Dorinda and her late husband had been friends with them. Jill talks about having a luncheon way back when, and we see an old clip with Dorinda in it. Luann arrives with Tom in tow.  The Zarins have been invited to the wedding. Dorinda talks about the fight in the Berkshires. Luann adds that Ramona had been swilling pinot, and brings up Ramona’s interest in Tom’s behavior. Tom says Ramona has made it her mission to dig up dirt on him. Luann says that they don’t let gossip interfere with their relationship. Jill talks about when Ramona blew off her party to do something else, and we see some old clips of altercations between the two of them. Tom says he doesn’t care so much, but feels badly for Luann. Jill says that Ramona’s life is such a mess, she wants everyone else’s to be a mess. She’s lonely, so she wants everyone else to be. Dorinda thinks Ramona isn’t unhappy, but going through something. Like what? Menopause? Jill gets nosy about who was invited to the wedding.

Carole arrives at the gallery opening. She is the subject of many a painting, being the nude muse for the artist. Carole greets Dorinda. They discuss the fight, and Carole thinks both Ramona and Bethenny are coming. Dorinda is about to say something important, when Tinsley interrupts. Dorinda tells them that her house was destroyed, and Ramona’s room was a disaster area. Bethenny joins them, wondering if the topless paintings will bother anyone. Dorinda says the room was trashed. She thinks that somehow Ramona feels betrayed. Bethenny says unless she the one who had sex with Mario, she shouldn’t be treated that way.

Ramona makes a grand entrance. Bethenny heads in the other direction. Dorinda talks about how lovely Carole’s natural boobs are. Ramona acts like an over-enthused jerk about her own anatomy, and I’d be embarrassed to be seen with her. Dorinda tells her that her room was a disaster, and it made her feel depressed. Ramona ignores her, and goes on about something else. Dorinda says if she was a bitch, she’d sue Ramona. Do it! Carole’s dentist arrives, and she introduces him to Tinsley because he’s single.

Sonja blows in. Bethenny greets her, and she asks if Bethenny has put the Berkshires behind her. Bethenny says everything Ramona ever did flashed before her eyes, and now she gets how Ramona feels about her. She says she hit the jack pot, and she never saw someone so jealous about it. She tells Sonja that you can’t be a friend with someone who has a rifle pointed at you. Ramona horns into the conversation, saying hello to Sonja, and Bethenny says ttyl. Sonja starts to reprimand Ramona, but Ramona interrupts, reminding her of last season when Bethenny said she was never talking to Sonja again. She calls Bethenny judgmental, and says she has two sets of rules, and she’s sick of it. I know people who are like that, but I don’t think Bethenny is one of them. Sonja says Ramona messed up, but in typical fashion, can never admit she’s wrong.

Dorinda and Carole discuss the paintings.

Tom and Luann head out to Palm Beach. In her interview, Luann says she’s happy, excited, and nervous; it’s overwhelming and fabulous at the same time. She says they’ve been through hell, but they got through it. They discuss some details in the car. She thinks they shouldn’t be together the night before. Ooh, it’s a private helicopter. Luann says she got the glass slipper and that’s why they’re all pissed off.

This season, sun and fun, snow and fun, Carole sets up Tinsley, Harry makes an appearance, suckerfish Jason Hoppy gets arrested for stalking, a party in Mexico, Bethenny and Ramona tangle some more, and Tinsley and Sonja rumble. Sonja says, welcome to her friend group, like they’re toddlers, which is appropriate.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1981 – one of my favorite years! Morgan Fairchild was on the cover of every magazine; Tori Spelling got her first job on Vegas – her one line being “Hi, Uncle Dan.” Dynasty was the big TV show, and also bred shoulder pads. They were in every garment too. Since I’m built like a small football player, I was constantly removing them. The connection to today’s obsession with rich reality TV families, like the Kardashians and the Real Housewives was discussed. Ronald Reagan became POTUS, and was also shot, telling Nancy that he forgot to duck. MTV was born, with Video Killed the Radio Star being its first effort. Bevy Smith commented that it looked like something from a puppet theater, which made me laugh. Truth! The B52s were also interviewed. Fred Schneider is friends with someone I know, and we’ve crossed paths occasionally. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to get a chance to sing Love Shack with him at karaoke.

The Royal Wedding happened, and even I got up before the crack of dawn to watch. It was commented that, although beautiful, Diana’s dress looked heavy and miserable, and that the marriage went much the same way. Lisa Vanderpump also married Ken Todd that year, and used the same dress designer. I think I actually like her dress better. Less poufy. We also now know where Andy keeps his stash – in a Charles and Diana commemorative tea tin. General Hospital‘s Luke and Laura were also wed. I was there too, albeit through my VCR. It was talked about how today, protests would be had and tweets would be sent over the storyline of a rapist marrying their victim. Mommie Dearest was a top film, and also the basis for RuPaul’s Drag Race persona. We also met the first child conceived by IVF, who talked about being trotted out at every life milestone to prove she was still “normal.”

Next time, 2008, Britney Spear’s downfall, Bernie Madoff, and the Octomom.

🍳 MasterChef was still passing out white aprons, the last one going to a cowboy cook. The loser said he was going home proud, as he should be, and that he lost fair and square to a guy with a good cupcake.

🍴 On The f Word, James Corden, funny as usual, competed with Gordon in a cookoff and lost. He commented on how different Gordon was on this show, saying he thought he was always grumpy in the kitchen. The Cooking Cubans faced School Pride in the restaurant challenge, School Pride winning with the most succulent Southern-style pork chop ever. Gordon also fed some NASCAR drivers, and did a spin around the track of his own. Next time, Katy Perry is up against Gordon, and there’s scuba diving for dinner.

 

Jun7

June 6, 2017 – Spencer Returns & Chef Adam Loves Onions

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Laura tells Lulu that Valentin won’t let anything happen to Charlotte. Lulu says it’s her fault for warning him. She wanted to spare Charlotte the pain of seeing her father taken away. Anna arrives, and says she thinks she knows where Valentin is.

Charlotte tells Valentin that something is wrong and someone is in big trouble.

At the hospital, Julian tries to talk to Lucas, but Lucas isn’t having it. He asks if Lucas has any compassion left for his father.

Sam brings Scout to meet Alexis at Perks. Alexis says she’s going to focus on her girls. Sam calls Scout by the wrong name, and Alexis asks if she’s okay.

Sonny pours drinks for Jason and himself. He wants to drink to justice – the kind of karma that bites someone in the ass. He says he let Ava live so she can suffer. She loses everything, and it’s the hell she deserves.

Sam tells Alexis that it’s the first time she’s raised a kid from scratch; she’s exhausted and thrown off her game. Alexis suggests she take some time for herself.

Jason asks what Sonny would have done if there hadn’t been a fire. Sonny says he would have let Ava run, and when people stopped missing her, he would have dealt with her on his terms. He says she’s in constant pain now, and will have surgeries for many years to come. He tells Jason that Ava tried to turn it around, saying that he and Carly had failed their son, and it’s a parent’s worst nightmare to think they failed when they were needed most.

Julian tells Lucas that he wishes things were different, and he’s sorry. Lucas asks what he’s sorry for – his crimes or that he has to pay for them. Julian says both. At least he’s honest.

Charlotte tells Valentin that people come and look for you when you skip school. Valentin promises her she’s not in trouble, and he’ll call it a field trip, so she’ll get extra credit. He tells her that he wants to play a game. It’s like Halloween, but they make up new names and life stories. If anyone asks anything, they’ll have the answers. To win, they have to play all the time, even when they’re by themselves. He gives her a passport with a new name, Geneviève. Valentin is Gaspar, and they hail from Montreal.

Anna tells Lulu about how Nina said Charlotte always wanted to visit Niagara Falls. She says if Valentin gets her across the border, they can disappear. Dante says one thing they have going for them is that he’s traveling with his daughter. Lulu asks what she can do. Anna says she’s Charlotte’s mother, and Valentin is a realist; he’d prefer Charlotte be with her than be a ward of the state. Laura says she’ll watch Rocco and man the phone. Anna tells Lulu, let’s go get your daughter. Like it’s going to be that simple.

Valentin quizzes Charlotte in French. There’s a knock at the door, and he tells her to practice her French in the bedroom. The hotel manager tells Valentin that someone was asking about them, but since Valentin was so generous at check-in, he knew nothing. Valentin slips him more money to be discreet. He tells Charlotte they have to go, and now the real game begins. He makes a call, saying there’s a change of plans, and he needs a car now.

Alexis tells Sam to go to the spa; she needs some time to recharge. Sam says she can’t ditch Scout, but Alexis says that’s what grandmas do – take the kids, corrupt them, and then give them back. Sam agrees to go. Alexis tells Scout that she thought Sam would never leave.

Lucas says he has no compassion for Julian. He tells Julian keep walking if he sees him outside of the hospital, and good luck in prison. Julian says that Lucas owes him nothing, but it still hurts.

Sonny tells Jason that when Morgan started to spiral, they couldn’t find the answer, but it was right in front of them. Why didn’t they just look?

Spencer is back! Laura opens the door, and there he is.

Charlotte tells Valentin that he promised they could see the Falls. He says sometimes plans change, but they’ll see them. He tells her that sometimes things don’t go your way, but they’ll be fine if they’re together. There’s a knock at the door. Valentin thinks it’s the car, but it’s Anna, Dante, and Lulu, who must have gotten there in a Star Trek transporter. I guess it was that simple.

Jason talks to Sonny about losing Jake, and wondering how he was going to get past it. Sonny says you can’t. The only knowledge he gained is that nothing is permanent. Jason doesn’t think Sonny and Carly are done just yet. He thinks they might have been brought closer by facing Ava down.

Julian sees Alexis at Perks. He tells her that she doesn’t have to leave. He looks at Scout. Alexis tells him to say hello to his granddaughter.

Laura asks Spencer how he got there. He’s like, um… She asks if he left school and flew by himself. He says there’s an app for everything. She asks how the school let him leave. He tells her that there’s also an app that can create a text from one’s grandmother saying there’s a family emergency. She says for shame, but he says shame never got anyone anywhere. She says she’s angry, but still glad he’s there because she can emotionally multitask. He brings up Valentin, and she says he’ll get what’s coming to him. Spencer says that’s why he’s here – he’s going to avenge his father and reclaim Windemere. He says Valentin would have kidnapped him if not for Sonny.

Charlotte comes out, and Lulu says, surprise! Valentin talks to Charlotte in French. She asks if she’s in trouble. He says no, but he wants her to go with her mother. He and Charlotte look sadly at each other.

Valentin asks if Charlotte feels at home with Lulu and their family. She says she does, and he tells her to go with them, and make him proud. She asks when he’s getting her. He says he has business to take care of, but it will be soon. She says he can take her to the Falls after school is over. He tells her good-by, and Dante and Lulu leave with her. He cries, and he’s making me want to cry.

Spencer says it sounds like Laura is going to try and talk sense into him. Laura tells him to stay away from Valentin. Spencer says he’ll make her mistress of Windemere again. She says that Windemere is big and cold, and it’s more comfortable here. He asks if they can get a pizza; he’s missed the local cuisine. She says she’s missed him, but has to send him back to France for his own good.

Sam gets a massage, but she’s not feeling it. The masseuse tells her to relax.

Alexis introduces Julian and Scout to each other. She asks if Julian wants to hold Scout, and he says more than almost anything. She’s very cute, and looks like a teeny tiny Hawaiian. Julian talks baby-talk to her. Alexis says she wishes Sam would take better care of herself; she practically had to force Sam to let her babysit. She asks about Ava, and Julian says there’s no change. He says if he goes to prison, there will be no going away party. and if he ends up alone, it’s on him. Alexis looks sad. God almighty, today is all about children and sad faces.

Valentin wants Anna’s word that Charlotte will want for nothing, saying that she’s extraordinary. Anna says he shouldn’t have run with her. What would have happened if there was a high-speed chase or SWAT team? She says that’s the man she knows, the one who made the good gesture. He says courts don’t recognize a gesture. He pulls out a gun, and tells Anna not to take it personally.

She asks if he’s going to kill her, and if that’s the legacy he wants to leave. He says he’ll never see Charlotte again. He’ll be shipped to a super max for the rest of his life by the ICC. Anna struggles with him, and the gun goes off.

Laura reminds Spencer about how great he thought the school was. He says he has a new perspective; any place that keeps him from his grandmother and pizza is a prison. She says he’s laying it on pretty thick. He asks how he can save the family while he’s conjugating French verbs.

Sonny tells Jason that he and Carly didn’t die; it must count for something. He asks about Sam and the kids. Jason says they’re great. Sonny says Olivia-J and Ava, one is as bad as the other. Jason thinks it’s not possible to love anything more than he loves his family.

Sam is still having a hard time. She apologizes, and the masseuse tells her to try and let go. She says sorry, she can’t do this. She’s just not big on massages.

Alexis tells Julian that at least he’s acknowledging the pain and damage that he caused. She says she did the same when she was drinking. She tells him that people don’t change overnight; some don’t change at all. Some can’t change who they are, but they can either change what they do, or make excuses and go back to hurting people. Julian says he’s not going to do that. He wants to prove himself worthy of her love. He reminds her about the hotel room, and says he loves her too. She says sometimes love isn’t enough, which is almost as bad as “love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Sonny tells Jason that all he wanted is for his family to be safe and secure, but even if you plan for the future, the past is there to breathe down your neck

Julian tells Scout that if he gets paroled, he’ll come to her wedding. He’s sure that since he turned down the DA’s deal, they’re going to come after him full force. Alexis says that maybe Scotty is better than they think. Alexis leaves. Julian calls Scotty, and says there’s something important he has to talk about.

Sam gets home. Jason asks if she forgot the baby, but Sam says she’s with Alexis. She tells him about the massage, and how it had the opposite affect – she’s more tense now.

On the phone, Laura says that she’s glad everyone is all right. Spencer chows down on pizza. She tells him that she has a surprise of her own. He asks if he’s the surprise she’s talking about, ergo he’s staying. She says ergo nothing; she might send him home on a red eye. He says people bring their livestock on those. Is he talking about Snakes on a Plane? She tells him he can stay for now, and hugs him. We could all use some Spencer in our lives.

Anna and Valentin look into the mirror that was shot. Anna says that’s not him he’s looking at. She takes the gun, saying she remembers him; he’s a good man, and she liked and admired him. He says she didn’t want him kissing her. She says she was young, stupid, and naïve, and regrets it; she’s not the enemy. She didn’t manipulate him; it was Alex who betrayed him. He says but now she’s arresting him – it’s ironic. He tells her that she has transgressions of her own. He hopes there as good as gone, or someone will come for her one day. She asks if it will it make him happy, and he says no. She had her reasons. She’s changed and made a good life, and he hopes she keeps it; one of them should. He asks what she’s waiting for, and she reads him his rights, tears running down her face. He’s going to be extradited. If found guilty, he’ll go to a super max facility.

Tomorrow, Griff talks to Finn, Jordan and Curtis celebrate, and Lulu tells Valentin that Nina turned him in. Because she’s really an evil human being.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Adam tells Malia to forget about Wes. He kisses her, and she comes out with her lipstick all smeared like it’s a walk of shame. Max says it looks like a crime scene, and she didn’t even try to hide it. As usual, only thinking of himself, Bobby says he guesses any shot he had with her is gone. Who knows? Lauren and Hannah whisper, wondering who it was she was kissing, and Malia says say it to her face. Lauren says she just wants to know which one, but Malia says a lady never tells, the word “lady” being debatable. She tells Lauren that if she has anything to say, say it to her face and not to Hannah. Lauren suggests that next time, Malia take her makeup off first, before parading around.

Lauren sees Adam with his face full of lipstick, and says it’s him. Malia tells her that she kissed Wes too, and repeats that if she wants to know something, ask her. Lauren says she has to pick one, or there will be drama. In her interview, Malia says it’s no one else’s business. She tells Wes that he and Adam both kissed her tonight, and bugs Lauren again. In his interview, Wes says he broke his own rule because it felt natural, but now it hurts. Hey dude, at least you found out what she’s like early on.

Lauren tells Malia she’s worked on yachts before, and suggests it’s not a good look to make out with two guys that share a room. Hannah says they need to call it a night.

Wes asks Adam how he’s feeling, and tells him they both kissed Malia, which is apparently the theme tonight. Lauren says she didn’t do anything wrong, but now her roommate hates her. She tells Bugs what happened. Bugs asks if Wes knows, and now wishes she hadn’t told him to go for it.

Max says a storm is coming up, but Malia thinks it came last night. The crew gets ready for the new charter. Adam insists on a group hug with Malia and Wes. Ew! This is too creepy for me, but Malia is glad they’re not making it difficult for her. She hopes nothing happens with Bobby now. Like she has no control over this

Amber and Ken are the primaries, and Hannah remembers them from last season. We flash back to a bunch of unsettling drunks in the hot tub. Hannah hopes they step up their game and have an orgy. Their two main requests are make sure they never run out of vodka and Ken wants nothing to do with onions. They also want a water toy obstacle course, and to see some waterfalls. A ferry will have to be taken to the falls, since they don’t allow yachts that close.

A slide and a trampoline arrive. Wes says slides are his kryptonite. I know that everyone hates them. They’re difficult to handle and take up a lot of space. Malia finds Lauren doing laundry, and they hug it out. Lauren says she’s sorry if she hurt Malia’s feelings. Malia says she was feeling defensive, and she’s not that kind of girl, which I find doubtful. Lauren says everyone has one of those nights, and she’ll just forget it happened.

Hannah and Wes go over the schedule. Bugs apologizes to Wes, who says Malia doesn’t come across as that kind of person, but he’s cool with Adam. Adam tells Hannah it’s all good, but she wonders about that. He asks if he should find Wes another chick, since Malia is his. In his interview, he says typically, you don’t date your boss, so Wes should back off. Bugs asks Wes if he’s going to talk to Malia, and he says there are rules for reasons.

The guests arrive. Bobby is stoked to have Kenny and Amber back. Hannah gives the tour, and asks how they’ve been. Probably drunk. She introduces them to the hot tub, and wonders if there will be an eightsome. Captain Sandy tells Wes that he’s going to be doing everything.

Hannah tells Ken that the chef is good, and he asks if she’s sweet on him. She tells him that homie don’t play that. Bobby thinks they should get a student driver sign for the yacht with Wes in charge. Malia thinks it’s sexy the way Wes steers them off the dock. Okay.

Lauren would rather do laundry than have lunch. She wants to prove herself to Hannah. Bobby tells the new crew members about the last charter with Ken. Why is Adam preparing leeks? He says if the recipe calls for onions, he’s putting them in. Idiot. He watches as Ken picks them out, totally ignoring that and acting like he’s triumphed over onion dislike.

The nemesis slide is set up. Max tests it out. It does look like fun. They set up the trampoline, which doesn’t look like as much fun. The vodka flows. Hannah thinks Lauren is improving, and she hopes it stays that way. The guests change into their beachwear and play. Malia and Wes take the trampoline out on the Jet ski.

Hannah tells Lauren that she’s sending her to the waterfalls with the guests. Lauren is excited, and says it’s just what she needed to hear. Wes and Hannah discuss the trip. Malia will be going too, and Hannah says they’ll be taking the same ferry as the guests. The slide is brought back up with much grunting and groaning.

Adam is having trouble with the whole no onion thing. In his interview, he says that the heart of Southern cooking (which I’m assuming was their preference) is peppers, garlic and onions. Since when? He thinks the food will taste like sh*t without the onions. I don’t even cook that much, and I know there are recipes with no onions. I’m starting to think this guy is more of a cook than a chef. If he can’t figure out an alternative recipe, he certainly isn’t very talented. I’m sort of not liking him all around at this point.

Max calls his girlfriend, and says he misses her all the time, which is very sweet. Adam gets dinner prepared. Another gorgeous table, this time done in purple and gold. One of the guests makes a toast to nipples, saying that without them, breasts would be pointless. Sigh. Ken isn’t thrilled with his dinner. Hannah apologizes, and tells him that she’ll talk to Adam. In her interview, she’s like, why? Adam says it’s the first plate that’s ever come back. Well, then maybe he should listen to the preferences. Hannah doesn’t know what his problem is. Omg, the new dish still has chives in it. Ken can’t believe it – neither can I – and Amber tells Hannah it’s the only thing he doesn’t like. Hannah asks Adam to make something without anything from the onion family in it. Adam claims that people with new money always try to hold it over your head, and just send food back because they can, which makes no sense whatsoever. Even if they’re a little sloppy drunk, these guests seem fairly easy-going, and Adam is making a huge mistake here. Hannah tells Adam not to take it out on her. She doesn’t know where the attitude is coming from, but he’d better drop it. Where’s Ben when you need him? If the tip is lacking, this will totally be Adam’s fault. This also reminds me of something that happened to my father when he was dating my mother. The first time he had dinner at my grandparents’, it was misunderstood that he didn’t like mushrooms, and they were in everything – for example, not just in the gravy for the mashed potatoes, but in the potatoes themselves. At least, I think it was a misunderstanding. Now I’m wondering.

Hannah takes the third plate out. Dessert is banana bread pudding which sounds unappetizing, but looks wonderful. Adam promises a better dinner service tomorrow.

It’s hot tub time! One of the guests cuts their foot and bleeds into the water. Blech. Lauren says they’re drinking champions, and Hannah is concerned that they’re going to run out of vodka already. They only brought twenty bottles. Bugs talks to Adam about Malia. One of the guests wanders around with no pants. And no underwear either. Just a bunch of pixilated squares.

It’s morning, and the guests start off with Bloody Marys. Lauren wishes Bugs could come on the waterfall trip; she doesn’t want the guests to be let down. The river is absolutely beautiful. The captain gives Wes instructions for docking. Wes gives the directions, and she tells him nicely done. Bugs tells Hannah that Lauren is stressing out, and suggests they send another stew with her. Hannah is miffed about Bugs telling her how to do her job, but tells Lauren that Bugs can go with her.

Hannah says it’s like a beach picnic on steroids. They have to make sure everything is packed, since it’s not like they can just jet back to the yacht. Hannah asks Wes how he’s doing with his love interest, but he has no clue what’s going on. Adam is concerned about the food being out for too long already. He thinks it’s unprofessional of Hannah to be running late. I’m stunned. She tells him that he’s welcome to take the initiative with the food; she can’t do everything. He suggests that Bugs should be the chief stew, and Hannah suggests they get a chef who can read preference sheets. Exactly.

Next time, Adam and Malia take selfies at the waterfalls, obstacle course day happens, Bobby asks Malia if she’s interested, and Adam serves onion soup to be funny. Hint: The guests don’t think it is.

Welcome Back, Spencer!

GHSpencer

Jun6

June 5, 2017 – A Niagara Falls Vacation, a Walk in the Park, Savannah Goes to Charlotte & Upcoming Shows

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Anna tells Lulu that technically, Valentin has full custody of Charlotte, and has done nothing wrong. Dante comes home, and Lulu tells him about Valentin taking Charlotte.

Omg, Valentin has taken Charlotte to one of my favorite places in the world – Niagara Falls. He tells Charlotte they’re on vacation. She asks where Nina is.

Having coffee at Perks, and thinking about Valentin saying no matter what, he loves her.

Jason calls Elizabeth who fills him in on Jake. Carly walks in just as he’s leaving. He tells her that what happened started with Helena and ended at the Nurses Ball. Wasn’t she there? She tells him she knows why Morgan spiraled out of control. It was Ava; she sabotaged him.

Sonny tells Ava that she deserves what she’s getting. She asks him to kill her.

Lulu tells Dante that it’s all her fault. She went upstairs for a minute, and now she’ll probably never see her daughter again. She says Valentin is a master of vanishing in plain sight. Anna says he’s not going to make it easy. They don’t even know where to start looking.

Nina calls the hospital and asks about Valentin. She’s told that he checked out. I find this hard to believe, since they won’t give you any information about anyone these days.

Valentin tells Charlotte he’ll get situated, and she can pick out cool stuff to do. He has to meet a friend. He says Nina is a little angry with him. Charlotte asks if it’s because of Jake.

Laura stops by Elizabeth’s place to see how Jake is, but he’s sleeping. She tells Elizabeth how worried Charlotte was, but she and Emma woke up in good spirits, and Jake will get over it too. She shows Laura the shipping label from the magic kit. She thought it was odd how obsessed Jake was with it, but she was glad he was interested in something. She asks if she’s a bad mom.

Carly explains to Jason how Morgan’s pills were switched. He asks why Ava did it, and Carly says she thought he was bad for Kiki and wanted him committed. He asks where she is, and Carly tells him about how she and Sonny confronted Ava at the warehouse, and Ava started the fire. She says they got out, but she was trapped. He asks if it was anything they did, and Carly says they’ve been cleared of any wrongdoing. He tells her to steer clear of Ava, but Carly says Sonny wants her dead, and she’s not stopping him this time.

Ava tells Sonny to do what he came to do. He says he should have done it a long time ago. He talks about wanting payback after Connie’s murder, but he let her live because she was pregnant. He doesn’t regret Avery, but regrets every breath Ava has taken since. She could have ended up killing Carly like she did their son. Ava asks him to put her out of her misery. That was probably the wrong thing to say. Now he’ll never do it.

Sonny says no. He says the fire did a number on her, like it did on Morgan. He talks about the weeks before Morgan’s death, and how his mind was on fire, and he didn’t understand why he was spiraling. He suggests that he switch her morphine to sugar water. He says he has plenty of time, and she’ll be trapped in agony. Death is too merciful.

Nathan meets Nina at Perks. She tells him Valentin checked himself out of the hospital, and she can’t get ahold of him. Popping in out of nowhere, Anna says he’s a fugitive, and Nina has to help them find him.

Charlotte tells Valentin that when she brings him up, Lulu changes the subject. He says it’s a misunderstanding, like when you play telephone, and it’s better that they go away for a while. Charlotte says she never said good-by, and it’s rude. He tells her they can send Lulu a postcard. She goes off with the tourist maps, and Valentin calls someone. He needs to meet them right now.

Dante tells Lulu that they’ll find Valentin, and to let them do their job. She says she shouldn’t have told him, and never thought he’d run, but Dante says he had to have known. Dante tells her that Charlotte would have become a ward of the state, and Lulu says she can’t even blame Valentin, she’d do the same thing in his position. She says that she needs to be searching, but Dante says there’s a reason families aren’t involved in searches, and they have to do it by the book. He suggests Charlotte might call her, and Lulu says she knows how to find her.

Nurse Deanna asks Griff to do an assessment of Ava. Ava asks if Sonny is just going to watch her suffer, and he says it’s his pleasure. She’ll wish every day that he’d ended things. If there’s a minute she isn’t suffering, he’ll kill her. Griff walks in and asks what’s going on.

Carly tells Jason that Morgan is dead, Ava is alive, where the justice? Jason says she’s not going to honor her son this way, and she says easy for him to say. His children are alive.

Laura makes coffee. Elizabeth says Jake is still asleep. Laura tells her she’s not a bad mother. She had no way of knowing that Spencer didn’t send the package, and she would have had to be a psychic to know what was in the box. Elizabeth says she felt powerless, but Laura says that she wasn’t. Anna told her about how she talked Jake down. She says there’s something that goes deeper to the core of his soul than Helena’s programming – Elizabeth’s love for him; that’s what saved him. She brought her son back from the brink of disaster, and saved a lot of other people.

Lulu says Charlotte has a cellphone that can only call Valentin, but can receive calls. She finds a Post-It with the number, and calls it.

In Niagara Falls, Charlotte’s phone rings, and she answers it. Charlotte tells Lulu that she sounds scared. Lulu says she is; when she came back downstairs, Charlotte was gone. Charlotte asks if she was mad, but Lulu says just concerned. She asks where Valentin is, and Charlotte tells her that papa is in the other room. Lulu says she can pick her up, but Charlotte says they’re finally going on a trip that she wanted to go on. Lulu asks where she is. Valentin takes the phone and asks who Charlotte is talking to.

Nina tells Anna it’s not her problem they set her up. She says she just found out Valentin isn’t in the hospital. Anna asks if she wants Charlotte to be a fugitive for the rest of her life. She says Valentin isn’t thinking clearly. Nina says she doesn’t know where Charlotte is. Anna asks if she’d tell if she did.

Valentin takes the phone. Lulu asks where they are. He tells her that calling is a violation of their agreement. She says when Anna finds them, it won’t be good for Charlotte. Valentin says if she wants what’s best for Charlotte, not to contact them again, and hangs up. It wasn’t enough time for Dante to trace the call.

Elizabeth wonders how Helena had the Chimera, and Laura brings her up to speed. Elizabeth asks if there’s anyone’s life Valentin hasn’t turned upside down. Laura tells her that even so, Valentin wouldn’t turn over the Chimera, and got shot saving Nina’s life. He’s alive and wounded, but expected to survive. Elizabeth says it sounds heroic, but Laura says it doesn’t redeem him in her eyes. She can’t dismiss him as being an unfeeling monster anymore though. He raised her granddaughter and Charlotte loves him. She doesn’t know how Lulu is going to reconcile this. Elizabeth says she loved Nicholas and hated his dad, but Laura says by the time Nicholas came back, Stavros was gone. Elizabeth says that people who you believed are past redemption can find the strength to do better. Laura says Valentin is facing criminal charges, and will be sent to prison. It won’t erase the problems, but it should make them simpler, and they could all use a little bit of simple.

Sonny says he didn’t know Griff was the attending physician. Griff says it’s on the chart that Sonny isn’t supposed to be holding. He tells Sonny that he should have him arrested. Sonny says he was just checking on Ava’s condition, like Griff is stupid. He tells Griff about how Ava’s machinations killed Morgan. Griff says it’s a matter for the police. Sonny says he hopes that Ava lives a long life, and leaves. Dammit, Griff! I wish he would call the police. It’s annoying to me that Sonny and Carly have both done horrible things, yet act all sanctimonious when the shoe is on the other foot. And okay, I didn’t really like Morgan all that much and miss him not at all.

Carly apologizes to Jason. She never wants to make light of what happened with Jake. He says he’s there for her. There’s a knock at the door. It’s too-creepy-for-my-taste-right-now Sonny. Jason says he’s sorry. Sonny says there’s no way he could have known. Carly says Sonny put all the pieces together. He says he thought if he got answers, they could get closure and peace, but he’s not feeling the peace. He tells Carly he went to the hospital, but thinks the best punishment is for Ava to live.

Griff tells Ava they don’t think there’s any permanent nerve damage, which is good news. She says not good news to her. She can’t live like this. He says she’ll be assessed for skin grafts, but it will be a while before they can start. He talks about the complications. Ava says there’s no hope.

Charlotte asks if she did something wrong. Valentin says it’s his fault. She asks if they can see some sights, and he says they’re going to see her nana too. There’s a knock at the door, and he asks her to go in the bedroom while he discusses boring stuff with his friend. When Charlotte is gone, the friend gives him two passports.

Nina asks Anna if Valentin deserves to be arrested. She goes over what Alex did, and says it wasn’t Valentin’s idea; he did it to help her. He went on the run with a life-threatening condition; the scoliosis would have killed him. She says he had no choice and didn’t know what he was doing, being so young. He didn’t do any of it, and saved the day. Nathan says it’s not that simple, but Nina says what if it is? Valentin changed his life. She asks if he believes people can change, then asks Anna if she doesn’t think people deserve a second chance.

Lulu calls Anna, telling her about the phone call, and says all she and Dante know is that Charlotte is taking a trip she wanted to go on. Anna says thanks, and she’s working on it. Anna tells Nathan and Nina what happened, and asks Nina if she knows where they might be. Nathan says she really needs to tell them if she knows anything. Don’t do it, Nina.

Elizabeth straightens up. She looks at the shipping label again.

Carly asks how it’s punishment for Ava to move on with her life. Sonny says she’ll be in recovery a long time, and if she does recover, she’ll be tried. Carly asks when he started trusting the legal system. She says that there are ways it wouldn’t be traced back to them, but Sonny says that Ava will suffer for life. Carly says that at least she has a life, unlike their son, and walks out

Griff tells Ava that he didn’t say there was no hope. In medical school, they’re trained to speak clinically, but he can speak with her as a priest. In difficult times, he’s found his faith to be a comfort. He says it might be breaking regulations, but he can pray with her. She thanks him. He takes her hand and prays the Hail Mary. She prays with him.

Laura asks Lulu why there are squad cars outside. Lulu tells her that Valentin went on the run, and took Charlotte. They hug. Dante promises they’ll find her.

Anna asks Nina where Valentin might take Charlotte. Nina says maybe Bulgaria. Nathan thinks there must be somewhere closer to home. Anna insists she has to tells them, and Nina is like, are you kidding? Nathan says life on the road is no life for Charlotte or Valentin. Anna says the WSB will never stop looking, and it won’t be old friends who find them. Nina balks at Anna being an old friend, but Nathan asks what if he gets shot, and says that they should take him peacefully while they have the chance. Nina says Niagara Falls is where Valentin would have taken Charlotte for a vacation. Dammit!

Valentin says that once they cross border, they’re disappearing.

Tomorrow, Jason and Sonny talk, Lucas is alive (I sometimes wonder, when he disappears for so long) and talking to Julian, Anna thinks she knows where Valentin is, and Valentin needs a car now.

Southern Charm

A petting zoo with kittens and bunnies is set up for Saint’s birthday party. I guess it’s better than the kids poking at llamas and donkeys. Thomas says the days are long, but the years are short. Everyone is getting ready, but Landon cancels. Elizabeth is riding with Kathryn. Kathryn tells us it’s a huge deal for her. She’s in a completely different place, and she’s anxious to show that.

On the way there, Cameran and Patricia talk about the party. Patricia thinks it must be embarrassing to come as a guest to your own son’s party, and they bemoan that there probably won’t be booze.

Kathryn arrives. Kelsie is drinking sweet tea, which is just what children need to consume – caffeine and lots of sugar. Kathryn thanks Thomas for his letter, and he apologizes for his penmanship. I’d be impressed that penmanship was involved at all. He watches as Kathryn holds Saint. She compliments him on the party. Some little kids arrive, and JD (bleh) calls it a perfect family gathering.

Thomas tells JD (bleh) that it’s a baby step with Kathryn. Patricia immediately wants to know where the pseudo petting zoo is. If she can’t have liquor, she can at least pet a kitten. Chelsea shows up with Austen, and the cheese Shep arrives alone. Kathryn waves to Jennifer, but keeps walking. In her interview, Jennifer says you would think she’d want to see the baby. She says she knows all she needs to know. Whatever that means.

Chelsea asks Kathryn if she’s done her headshots yet, but she’s still waiting on that. In her interview, Patricia says she has no intention of having a conversation with Kathryn, since she’s not a hurricane or tornado tracker. The cake comes out, and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Saint gets a little cake of his own. Because he needs more sugar than everyone else. In her interview, Kathryn says if things could be this way forever, she’d be happy. No, you’d still have to deal with Thomas.

Kathryn gives Thomas a picture of Saint from when he was just born. In his interview, Thomas feels sad that the kids can’t have both parents all the time. The Great Philosopher JD (bleh) says that kids do better with both parents. Thomas and Kathryn take a family photo.

Landon meets Jennifer at a restaurant, bearing a baby gift. A pillow with Ascher’s name on it, which I assume is more for Jennifer, since baby’s aren’t supposed to have pillows now. Sitting out on the deck, they order champagne and fancy food. Landon asks about the party. Jennifer says there were no altercations, and in her interview, Landon says two-hours of good behavior doesn’t impress her. She tells Jennifer about going to dinner with Thomas. She says just as she was telling Thomas that she didn’t want a relationship, a drunk stranger said they were soulmates. They actually keep leaving out the drunk part. This woman was practically falling out of her chair, and I wondered if Bravo paid her to say that. Landon is concerned that people will say she’s only after Thomas’s money. In her interview, Jennifer thinks there would be an explosion if Kathryn found out they were dating. She tells Landon that she thinks Thomas has done an about-face. He isn’t perfect, but neither are they. Landon thinks she might have a point. Jennifer says it’s cliché, but you only have regrets about what you don’t do. Landon says it’s the best advice she’s heard. Apparently, she’s not on the internet.

Thomas visits Patricia. She talks about taking seven years of French and only being able to order clothes and food. I took two years, and can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. She asks about the birthday party, and Thomas says he thinks Saint was oblivious. Of course he was – he’s a one-year-old. She says he and Kathryn seemed amicable, and asks if he’s over Kathryn. He says no way they’re getting back together. She asks if he’s met anyone, and he tells her about his date with Landon, and how she’s giving him mixed messages. Patricia says there’s something to be said for friendship first, and you can’t find lasting romance at the bar. She tells him that when men really knew how to court women, they called on them, took them places, gave them flowers, and it built into a relationship. She suggests he and Landon go for a walk. She tells Thomas that if he doesn’t take chances in life, he’ll never get anywhere. He says faint heart never won fair lady, quoting Gilbert and Sullivan, who were probably quoting someone else.

Cameran, who’s wearing an awesome black crocheted top with bell sleeves, goes to see her therapist, Myra. She tells her about the psychic proclaiming that she’ll have three children. Myra tells her to reflect on it. Cameran wonders what if she’s putting off her greatest purpose, and thinks she’s too self-involved, which is gross to her. In her interview, she says there has to be more. She talks about her husband wanting children, and how it breaks her heart because he’d be the best dad. She thinks she’s robbing a child of the opportunity of having him as a father. Myra says she knows her answer, and it will be okay. Cameran whines that she’s going to get fat.

Chelsea and Austen go crabbing. He says when he caught crabs before, he went to a doctor to clear it up. BA-DUM-CHH! In his interview, Austen says he’s not the type to jump into a relationship, but when he meets someone he likes, he’s into it. He keeps calling the beginnings of a relationship “puppy love,” and it’s incredibly annoying, since that’s not what the term means. Chelsea says they’re going to crab the way the “Indians” did, and puts some sticks in the ground. I guess she didn’t get the memo about it being Native American now. Frankly, I’m not a stickler for labels, since they change monthly, but that’s one I appreciate, since it makes sense to differentiate our own indigenous people from those of Indian descent. Austen doesn’t think he’s Mr. Relationship, but his parents are like partners in crime, and that’s what he’s looking for. Crabbing doesn’t work out so well, and Chelsea says they’ll be stopping at Chick-Fil-A on the way home.

Landon’s business partner, Anna, calls her. Thomas puts on eye cream. Landon tells Anna they have to figure out the name situation, and lists some names that even I know they can’t use. Thomas arrives in a suit, bearing a rose like he’s a Bachelor contestant. He says he was in the neighborhood. Ugh. I hate that. An ex-boyfriend once called me saying that, and I asked why he was in my neighborhood. Landon tells Thomas that for the future, orchids are her favorite. She ends the call with Anna, and Thomas asks her to go for a walk. As they leave, Landon says that her house is for sale, and she’s just renting. Because he’s clueless, Thomas tells her to just buy it, but she doesn’t have a million dollars.

They sit on a bench by the lake. Landon has brought Charlotte, and says it’s nice to have Thomas along, since she usually does the walk alone. He tells her to just call him, since he doesn’t live far. Well, she got what she wanted – someone to walk the dog with. She says she couldn’t believe the (drunk) woman at dinner. He asks if it rang true to her, and she says she’s happy when she’s with him. He suggests they take a chance. She wonders what they do from here, and he says get some wine.

On their way to a drive through with Gizmo, Craig tells Naomie that he has a surprise for her. She tells him that she’s a worrier, and he says it’s a slippery slope to paranoia. In his interview, he says he’s working on a better relationship. They talk about Shep, and Naomie says he’s a kind person, but not to Craig. She wonders if Shep is jealous of Austen, but Craig thinks he’s just unhappy. In his interview, Craig says Shep can’t stand seeing other people happy, and covers it up. Craig pulls up to a house. Cameran is there, and they’re doing a final walk-through.

Naomie approves of the neighborhood. Good. I was so worried. Naomie says she wasn’t sure Craig was actually going to do it. She thinks the house is bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside, and I know exactly what she means. It’s so weird when a house is like that. She tells Craig that she’s excited for him. Cameran says he’ll have the keys in ten days. In his interview, Craig thinks that he’s adulting well. They talk about Saint’s party. Cameran says she’s planning something for her own birthday, and is thinking of inviting the whole circus. Naomie thinks the sh*t is going to hit the fan, because Thomas showed up at Landon’s proclaiming his love. Not quite, but okay. Cameran wonders why Landon out of everyone in the world, and if they really did get together before.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of the OC starts a new season on Monday July 10th at 9 pm.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s house. Another one who was “in the neighborhood.” He asks for a beer, saying he’s in a major shift with his lifestyle. He thinks he wants to move, and Cameran is showing him a house tomorrow. Chelsea says it will just be another frat house, but he says it’s a recalibration, and he might even become a one-woman guy. He asks if she and Austen are happy. She says they’re just hanging out, no pressure, and Shep thinks that’s very adult. He asks if they see other people. Chelsea says she’s not out with anyone else, but doesn’t like checking in. Shep says he’s an idiot for not cultivating their relationship because she’s like a unicorn. He says they smooched, and then he took off. She says she felt like just another late-night rendezvous. She doesn’t want to feel like “that girl.” Shep wonders what he was thinking.

Cameron checks out the house she’s supposed to show Shep, and says there’s potential. There are also two big dogs on the enclosed back porch. She calls Shep, and gets voicemail. She leaves a message saying that she’s waiting for him. A half-hour later, she calls again, and gets voicemail again. She’s not happy. We see a snail. She thinks Shep must be in jail or still in bed. She calls Chelsea from the car, telling her that she can’t find him, and she’s pissed, but also worried. She’s headed to his house. Chelsea tells Cameran they were hanging out for a while, but he left to meet his cousins. Cameran says his whole idea of getting the house was to get a new lifestyle, and he can’t even show up.

Cameran drives to Shep’s place. She knocks. No answer. She opens the door. Again, who does that??? She looks around. No Shep, just a messy table with empties. She goes upstairs. What if he was with someone? Geez. He’s still in bed, alone, and she tells him it’s one in the afternoon and his door was unlocked. She waited at the house for an hour. He says he feels bad about that, and she says that he should. Definitely agreed. She thinks it’s one of the lowest points she’s seen him. She asks what happened, and he says what happened is why he wants to leave. There’s a frat party every night. She tells him that he needs self-control. He says he’s usually punctual, and she says she knows that, so she was making sure he wasn’t robbed or dead.

Next time, Kelsie has a photo shoot, Cameran talks to an unhappy Shep, Chelsea tells Austen that Shep tried to kiss her, and Austen confronts Shep. Lotsa Shep.

🌟 More good news! The Shahs of Sunset (one of my favorites!) begins again on Sunday, July 16th at 8 pm. Thank you, Bravo, for that time slot. For once, it won’t interfere with something else.

🍸 I still can’t decide if I like Southern Charm Savannah or not. I don’t think I like the cast members as much as the original show. Other people might be feeling the same way, since there was a crossover this week with both Shep and Thomas making appearances (with some Austen on the side) when the cast evacuated to Charlotte because of Hurricane Matthew. Not to downplay anyone’s angst, but it must be nice to get mani/pedis while worrying about your home being okay. I slept upstairs during Hurricane Sandy and hoped I woke up. I had to laugh when one of them suggested it would take a month for the town to get back to normal. It took at least three years here, and some places still aren’t back to normal. Shep, whose brother and sister live in Charlotte, partied hardy and Thomas gave life advice to Catherine. It was odd to see them out of context. The best quote of the night was Shep saying that “Bad decisions are on the horizon.” I have no doubt.

👸 Yet something else to look forward to – Odd Mom Out premieres on Wednesday, July 12th at 10 pm. My head might explode with all this joy!

🌱 Another nugget of wisdom…

Eat, drink and remarry. – Patricia Altchul, Southern Charm

Jun3

June 2, 2017 – Ava’s Aftermath, Gordon Does It Again & a Tetrad of Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Anna thanks Lulu for keeping Emma overnight. She also wants to find out what Charlotte understands and what Lulu knows. Lulu says she gave Charlotte minimal details, telling her that her father is in the hospital. Anna says it was a bad injury, but not life-threatening. Lulu asks what happens to Valentin next.

Valentin asks Nurse Deanna, who does he talk to about getting out of the hospital?

Carly asks Kristina if she’s talked to her dad, but Kristina says Michael filled her in. She says Ava is getting what she deserves, and Carly agrees.

Ava opens her eyes. Griff tells her that she’s in the hospital and to relax. She’s been in a pretty severe accident.

Julian asks Alexis what she’s doing at the hospital. She says she heard about Ava. He says it’s not good. He starts to tear up, and Alexis hugs him.

Kiki visits Sonny, who lies, saying he’s sorry. She asks what her mother did to Morgan.

Nathan sees Amy at Kelly’s. He wants to talk. He shows her an article about Man Landers being poised for a book deal.

Carly thanks Kristina for hiring Morgan; it gave him a sense of stability and purpose. Kristina jokes that she wanted someone to boss around, and Carly calls her a good sister. Carly sees Andre, and goes to talk to him. She tells him that she’s not great, but thanks him for everything he did to help them.

Sonny explains to Kiki that Ava tried to cause a breakdown by replacing Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. She admitted it, but they’d also found placebo dust in the bottle. Kiki says she used Avery as her way into the house. She doesn’t understand why Ava would do this to Morgan, and Sonny tells her that if Morgan was in the hospital, Kiki would have been free of him.

Griff tells Ava she’s on a morphine drip, and she has to rest. He doesn’t know where they’re going with treatment until they assess the nerve damage.

Alexis says she’s there for Julian, and she also has good news. She tells him that her law license has been reinstated. Julian congratulates her, and moves in for a hug. She says one hug is plenty. Ha-ha! He says that he should fire Scotty and hire her, but he wouldn’t drag her back into his mess. Griff comes out, and tells them that Ava is awake.

Deanna tells Valentin to give himself time to recover. He says he has things he has to get back to, and asks if she can speed things along, acting all charming.

Anna tells Lulu that Valentin will stand trial, and most likely go to prison. Lulu wonders about Charlotte. Anna says she has to fight for custody, or Charlotte will end up a ward of the state. Anna gets a message that it’s time to arrest Valentin.

Amy tells Nathan not to believe everything he reads online. Kristina arrives, and Amy says that she has perfect timing. Nathan explains to Kristina that Amy has been writing advice columns and using his picture. He asked her to take it down, and now he has a book deal. He tells Amy that he can’t be a cop by day and an advice columnist by night. He asks for one reason he shouldn’t arrest her for identity theft.

Sonny brings Avery downstairs. Kiki comments on how big she is because of soap super-speed child aging. Just wait, Kiki. By next year, she’ll be in high school.

Julian talks to Ava. He tells her that she had him worried. They might fight like cats and dogs, but that’s how they express their love. He tells her that Kiki was there all night.

Kiki thanks Sonny, and he says Avery is her sister; she can see her any time. He says that Kiki is as much of a victim as Morgan was. Sonny tells her not to take Ava’s guilt on herself. Kiki says she can hear it already – Ava was doing it to protect her. She flashes back to Ava saying that whatever she did, she did for Kiki’s well-being. Kiki realizes that Ava practically told her. She says she must have been talking about switching Morgan’s pills. Sonny says that Ava is a master of excuses, but Kiki doesn’t have to buy into it; it’s on Ava. Kiki tells him to protect Avery from her mother.

Andre tells Carly what Ava did was the worst kind of sabotage. Carly says Ava doesn’t have a conscience. He says had Morgan lived, they never would have gotten an accurate read on his condition. He would have been hurting Morgan while trying to help him, a nightmare scenario for a doctor. Carly says at least they know the truth, but when Andre asks if she’s gotten closure, she says no.

Anna goes to Valentin’s room, but he’s gone. Deanna tells her that Valentin signed himself out against medical advice.

Lulu tries to get the kids moving for school. The doorbell rings. It’s Valentin.

Amy begs Nathan not to arrest her. He says he’s a detective and has to interact with people. He can’t perform those duties if people are asking him relationship questions. Amy says she took the picture down. Nathan has to go to work, and tells her that he won’t say anything, but it had better not come back to him. He leaves, and Amy says that was close, and thanks Kristina for the assist. Kristina asks why she used Nathan’s picture, and Amy says everyone wondered what Man Landers looked like. She wishes Nathan understood how important it is.

Carly says she still feels the same hopeless ache, and Andre says grief isn’t that simple to get over. She says that she thought there would be comfort in justice, but there is no justice; it won’t bring Morgan back. Sonny appears.

Ava moans. Griff says they can’t completely neutralize the pain. Julian asks if she’s going to be fine after surgery. Griff says it’s too soon to speculate, and tells him to wait outside.

Sonny thanks Andre, who was glad to help. Andre goes back to not working, and Carly says that Sonny must be there for the same reason she is. He says he feels close to Morgan there, and Carly says that she does too. Morgan had hope for the future there, but it’s gone because of Ava. Sonny says that Ava isn’t done suffering.

Lulu asks why Valentin is there, and he says to pick up Charlotte. Charlotte comes out, thrilled to see him. She tells him that she was scared. Lulu says she’ll take the kids to school. When Charlotte goes to get her lunchbox, Lulu tells Valentin that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to have Charlotte with him right now. He’s about to be arrested.

Alexis opens the door to find Julian on the porch. He gives her some flowers to celebrate her law license. She says she thought it was a retainer. He’s going to need a defense attorney, since Scotty has his hands tied. She asks if Port Charles should be bracing itself for more bloodshed.

Sonny tells Carly that it’s best if Ava doesn’t see Avery at all, and talks about Kiki’s visit. Carly says as much as she hates Ava, she didn’t wish this on her. She wants Ava tried, and asks what if she just walks away again? They have no way to be sure she’ll pay for what she did. Sonny says she will.

Lulu tells Valentin that the WSB is going to have him tried by the ICC. She tells him to spare Charlotte seeing it happen, and asks him to give her secondary custody, so he can leave the country. She tells him to do what’s best for Charlotte. Charlotte comes out, and Lulu leaves to help Rocco find his shoe or something.

Anna tells Nathan that they have to check the airports. She also has an officer at Charlotte’s school. Griff asks if Valentin is gone. Anna says he checked himself out. When he asks why Valentin hadn’t been handcuffed, she says he hadn’t been under arrest yet. Griff asks why Anna isn’t more upset. She says Valentin was running for his life when he sold the Chimera, and wasn’t responsible for what happened at the Nurses Ball. It was like Helena set him up to take the fall. He asks if Anna feels sorry for Valentin, but he says it more like, you don’t feel sorry for him, do you? The same way that when I want to finish the cookies, I say, no one wants anymore cookies, do they?

Lulu comes out to find Valentin and Charlotte gone. Charlotte’s lunchbox has been left on the table.

Kristina tells Amy that Nathan is a nice guy, but he has a point. Amy says she took the picture down. She says guys like taking advice from other guys, and women like to take advice from good-looking men. Kristina suggests she take credit for her own creation.

Griff tells Anna that Valentin needs to pay for what he did to Nicholas and Claudette. Anna says those are separate issues, but he’ll be convicted on Alex’s word for this. She says they were friends, and she reacted badly when he wanted more. It made him vulnerable, and Alex took advantage of it. He’s not innocent, but not completely guilty. Lulu calls, and tells Anna that Valentin took off with Charlotte.

Julian tells Alexis that he’d like Sonny to feel the same pain. Alexis says Sonny and Carly probably felt the same way after Morgan’s death. Ava started the fire, and he can’t blame Sonny. Alexis asks if he doesn’t want revenge, and Julian says he’s not starting another cycle of violence. Alexis says that he’s said that before. He says he meant it, but she says he still went back. Julian says that he thought it was the only way to protect the people he loved. Now, there’s no one to protect. Alexis isn’t sure that’s true. He says she didn’t turn him away, and asks if there’s hope for them.

Sonny comes into Ava’s room. She asks if it’s Kiki, and he says, guess again. Really? Really? He’d be allowed in there under what circumstances? Plus, because of the possibility of infection, whoever comes in has to wear all kinds of gear. Did no one notice him putting all that on? Sometimes the suspension of belief is hard, even for me. And I would never, ever agree to be put in this hospital. I don’t care if the next closest one is in Albuquerque.

Kristina insists that Amy can do it on her own, but Amy says content is only half the battle. She wonders if she can change Nathan’s mind. Her phone rings. She’s got an unofficial offer for the book. Kristina congratulates her, but Amy says they want to meet Man Landers.

Nathan and Anna go to Lulu’s place. She tells them what happened, and says it’s all her fault. She wanted to do what was best for Charlotte, and told Valentin about the arrest. She wanted him to sign over secondary custody, but instead he ran. What if she never sees Charlotte again? Well, yeah, Lulu, it is all your fault, because you were really just thinking about what’s best for you, as usual.

Valentin tells Charlotte that they’re going someplace special, where no one will bother them again.

Julian apologizes for hurting Alexis. He says he made mistakes, but loving her wasn’t one of them. It made him a better man. With everything that’s happened, he thinks he could get it right this time. She wishes she could believe him, but she can’t. Not today. She thanks him for the flowers, and goes inside. Julian says it wasn’t a no.

Kiki sees Carly at Perks. She says she heard what happened, and she’s sorry. Carly says she’s not responsible, and Kiki says that’s what Sonny said, but Ava did it because of her. She went after Morgan, and did the worst thing she possibly could. If it wasn’t for her, he would still be alive. Carly says that none of it is her fault, and Kiki says she really loved him. Carly says she believes her, and he loved her too. Kiki says it got him killed. They hug. Carly says Ava is responsible, and repeats that none of this is Kiki’s fault. They hug some more.

Sonny looks very scary. He messes with one of the plugs that hooks Ava to a machine. He says that Kiki wants nothing to do with her. He calls her a twisted, selfish monster, and asks how she feels about everyone knowing what she did and who she is. She sealed her own fate, and deserves what she’s getting. Ava asks him to kill her. This is freaking me out a little.

On Monday, Laura tells Elizabeth there’s something she doesn’t know, Anna asks Nina for help, and Carly isn’t stopping Sonny this time.

The f Word with Gordon Ramsay

It was everything I’d hoped it would be.

This is a different Gordon than we’re used to seeing; kinder, gentler, and more fun-loving. We get a bit of it on MasterChef Junior, but this is more adult fare. This time, The f Word stands for food, fun and family. I’ve always liked Gordon. Even with all his screaming, yelling, and real f-words, my gut feeling has been that he’s one of the good guys; he really seems to care about people. On both Kitchen Nightmares and Hotel Nightmares, he’s not only had to turn around businesses, but people’s lives. I’ve seen him wear many hats, being a marriage counselor and a psychologist, helping families build something better, even if he has to smash what exists to do it.

The challenge part of the show was between The Spice Boys (blue team) and The Sexy Paesans (red team). They cooked dinner for a restaurant full of people, who filled out cards saying whether they would pay actual money for the meal. The team with the highest percentage was the winner. The ladies won, but it was close. I don’t know what the prize was, since I spaced out. Maybe just being in Gordon’s presence was enough.

The show didn’t disappoint with celebrity appearances by Jamie Fox, Snoop Dogg, and Kevin Spacey. Gordon discussed philanthropy with Jamie, who has his own Beat Shazam going on. There was also a nice interview with Snoop and his kids, where he told us that you can’t go wrong with a bowl of cereal and milk. I assume he consumes a bowl of something else first. Kevin and Gordon played some tennis and did some grilling, with Kevin choosing the ingredients – swordfish, couscous, and asparagus – and Gordon making the dish. Kevin also talked about playing Clarence Darrow on Broadway.

The home audience wasn’t left out, with Gordon encouraging Instagrams of food. He told us that if it looks good, they might show it, but if it doesn’t look good, they definitely will. Gordon put his acting skills to the test, playing a prank on his former head chef, by disguising himself and attending a class she was giving. He was surprisingly convincing, and her reaction was everything.

There was also schmoozing with the restaurant guests, including a couple who was on their first date. Dude, you will never be able to top this. Your dating life is downhill from here.

Quotes of the Week

Never miss a chance to shut up. – Dr. Phil’s dad

Those who hate you don’t win. unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself. – Richard M. Nixon

Do I go to an animal shelter, or do the cats just appear? – Bonnie (Allison Janney) giving up on love, Mom

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. – Marie Curie

Weekend-Loading

 

 

Jun2

June 1, 2017 – GH Interruptus, Some Real Estate, Some Little Women & a Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Finn caters to Hayden. She’s not feeling so great, and finding out that morning sickness isn’t just for the morning. Finn insists she’ll get to the radiant glow phase in no time. She tells him she doesn’t want him going out of his way, but he says, what if he wants to?

In the hospital, Nelle wakes up. She sees Michael sleeping in a chair. He asks how she slept. When she says wonderfully, he says it must be the company.

Diane calls Alexis. She asks if Alexis has time to see her. Alexis says she’ll squeeze her in between doing nothing and doing nothing. Diane gives Jordan a cease and desist order. She suggests instead of harassing Sonny, they bring Ava to justice. Julian – who just happens to be walking by – asks, for what?

Dante visits Sonny. He says the Fire Marshal’s report came in, and it backs Sonny up.

Bobbie tells Kiki that her mother’s condition is critical. It’s a near catastrophic injury, and the next few hours will be crucial. Bobbie explains various procedures, and says once Ava is stable, they can decide on a course of action. Kiki looks through the window at Ava, all bandaged up and using a breathing tube.

Hayden is feeling better – for now. Finn suggests that she leave some clothes at his place. She says he doesn’t have enough room, and he tells her that he will soon. He’s about to close on the house, and will have enough room for the both of them, and the baby.

Bobbie tells Kiki it’s a lot to process. Dillon says she hasn’t eaten or slept. Bobbie wants to know if there’s someone she can contact to take the pressure off, but Kiki says she doesn’t want to deal with her grandmother right now.

Diane is shocked that Julian has made bail. She tells Jordan he’s still a threat, and suggests that his passport be confiscated. He asks Jordan what’s happening with his sister.

Dante tells Sonny that Ava is critical, but Sonny says he’s not interested. Dante says what about Avery? He says that he hates what Ava did, and she deserves to be punished, but no one deserves to be burned alive. Sonny doesn’t care; it could have been Carly. Cold Sonny.

Michael tells Nelle that she looks better. He thinks he should get her an actual doctor, but she says it only hurts when she laughs. She tells him that he’s already gone above and beyond, and he’s off the hook now.

Diane asks if Alexis wants the good news or bad news first. Alexis says, whatever. Diane says the good news will fortify her for the bad. Alexis is officially a lawyer again.

Jordan tells Julian that he has to stay in the county, and if there are any infractions of the law, he’ll find himself incarcerated again. He asks about Ava, and Jordan says she’s in critical condition at the hospital.

Sonny gives Dante the pill bottle, and tells him who he can call about back-up information regarding the switch. He also thinks Scotty was helping Ava cover it up, and he’ll sing like a canary with a little pressure. Dante tells him to be realistic. Ava is in critical condition. No one is in a hurry to prosecute a dead woman.

Dillon tells Bobbie that Kiki isn’t alone; she has him. Bobbie tells her about patient advocates who can help her make decisions. She says with no family available, Ava’s care will be left to Kiki. She makes Dillon promise to make Kiki eat something, and goes to get a social worker. Kiki cries on Dillon’s shoulder.

Michael tells Nelle that if it’s too much, he’ll clear out. Nelle says she isn’t saying that. He wonders what hook he got let off of, and she says he’s taking care of her like he does everyone else. He says he wants to, because he cares about her. He tells her about knowing that she wouldn’t ditch Charlotte, and how he found her on the pier and it scared him. She thanks him, saying it could have been a lot worse. Michael says he waited a long time because she didn’t want to see him. He says if caring about her and liking her is a hook, he doesn’t want to be off. I expect him to break into song any moment. Bobbie sees them through the room window.

Hayden asks Finn if he’s saying they should move in together, and he says it makes sense. She says it’s a huge question, and she has to consider the ramifications. They might be getting ahead of themselves, and haven’t even discussed their future. Finn adds, and whether she thinks they’ll have one.

Alexis tells Diane that she was about to downsize and get a job at Kelly’s. Diane wonders why she didn’t keep the letter of reinstatement to herself, since she’ll have to face Alexis in a courtroom again now. Alexis thanks her, and says she won’t mess up again. Diane says time for the bad news now. Julian made bail and is out.

Bobbie goes into Nelle’s room, saying she hopes she’s not interrupting. Right. If you believe that, I have some land in Florida for you, and a couple of bridges. Michael says he was about to find a doctor, and Bobbie says she’ll do that. She asks to talk to Michael outside.

Once again, thanks to George Stephanopoulos, our programming is interrupted. Like we’re all not surrounded by news on the internet 24/7. He also gives us a weather report that we don’t need.

They never go back to the show, and I hate all politicians everywhere. Oh well, at least it’s not Friday.

🏰 On Million Dollar Listing New York, Frederik had a showing for the most fabulous townhouse ever – there was a cut-out in the middle where you could look into other parts of it. Shades of Roman Polanski’s The Tenant. It was over 6000 square feet, and the living room was 100 feet long. There was also a less equally fabulous penthouse above, but that’s only because it was in the middle of construction. Bethenny Frankel also made a brief appearance, albeit by phone, but we’ll see her next week when Frederik shows her a place. I like new guy Steve a lot. That he owns a rescue pup endears him to my heart, but his assistant is also an old high school friend. As much as I like Ryan, I am not feeling the beard. He’s still trying to unload a property that the owner’s son wants to list too high. This show is basically: look at amazing homes you will never be able to afford, even if you win Publishers Clearing House, watch Frederik do high kicks when he closes yet another multi-million-dollar deal, rinse, and repeat.

💃 I glanced at Little Women LA, and the highlight was Terra telling Briana that she has body odor. She has no sense of smell, and has a tendency to exhibit hippie-ish behavior, like not showering. Jasmine got seriously miffed about this, but it wasn’t like Terra just mentioned it out of the blue. Briana had asked her for advice regarding her modeling “career.” Apparently, when she’d previously modeled a piece from Tonya’s athleticwear line, it came back with such a pungent aroma, Tonya said never again. But I digress. She asked. Terra answered. That should have been the end of it. Instead, the outcome was Jasmine stirring the pot about Terra’s book that’s being published, Fierce at Four Foot Two. Briana uses #LittleFierceMama on Twitter, and Jasmine decided that Terra was purposely infringing on her territory with the book title. When Jasmine confronted Terra, Terra seemed sincerely blindsided, saying she didn’t have time to know what hashtag Briana is using, and why wasn’t Briana the one asking her about it? Elena hit the nail on the head when she said they have enough problems in the group without Jasmine making it worse.

🍑 As for Little Women Atlanta, I don’t know what it is about the ATL that makes women want to have knock-down, drag out fights, but I can’t watch these people. It’s like Porsha from the Wives times however many there are. This week was their reunion, with Terra from LA refereeing hosting, and security was on stand-by. How much of this is done for the camera, I don’t know, but it’s not a good look regardless.

👴 While it doesn’t make up for no GH ending, here’s one of my favorite quotes:

When I said I wanted peace and quiet, did you hear “talk more and disappoint me?” – Flo’s grandfather (Stephanie Courtney), Progressive commercial

Flo

Jun1

May 31, 2017 – Nina Has a Realization, Bethenny Breaks Down, a Little Scandal & Gordon is Everywhere

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan and Curtis bask in the afterglow. He tells her that he never thought it would happen, and she says she had to make him work for it a little. She adds that she had a fear of “us.”

Nathan talks to Anna. She tells him the Chimera canister has been destroyed under her personal supervision.

Nina stands by Valentin’s hospital bed. She tells him he’s going in for surgery. He saved her life, and got shot for it. Valentin asks her to promise to remember that no matter what, he loves her. She asks what he means by “no matter what.”

Anna tells Laura that it’s a complex situation. Lulu asks if anyone was hurt, and Anna tells them that Valentin was shot and is in surgery.

Kiki leaves a voicemail for Ava, because she has no clue what’s going on yet. Dillon brings fresh coffee to the hospital for her. She thanks him, saying tonight is going to be a long one. There’s a patient in the burn unit who needs extra staff, so she has to help pick up the slack elsewhere.

At the station, Dante tells Sonny and Carly that Ava is in critical condition. Sonny says they gave their statement, and Carly says they have nothing to hide. Dante asks why they were in the warehouse. Sonny says they were confronting Ava about what she did to Morgan. Carly tells Dante that Ava drove him to his death by replacing his lithium with placebos.

Nina tells Valentin he’s going to be okay. She says he loved her enough to sing to her in front of everyone. She tells him that he needs to be okay; she and Charlotte are depending on him. He wants her to check on Charlotte, and she says when she comes back, he’s going to be awake and fine, or he’ll never hear the end of it.

Anna explains everything to Laura and Lulu about how Valentin sold the Chimera to Helena. Laura says the only thing she ever believed about Valentin was that he loathed Helena. Anna says he needed the money, and Valentin thought Helena died without using it, but she’d programmed Jake. She asks if she can leave Emma for the night; she has some things to finish. Lulu asks what she should tell Charlotte. Anna says she’ll check at the hospital and text her. Laura asks what about Valentin’s involvement? Anna says to tell Charlotte that her father was very brave; it’s too soon to say anything else.

Nina runs into Nathan and thanks him. He says he has to talk to her about Valentin. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about his involvement in the Chimera Project. She says they’ll have to talk later; she has to check on Charlotte. In all the excitement, I forgot to mention that Nina is wearing the most beautiful purple sequined ballgown with a mermaid hem. It’s like something out of an Estée Lauder or Lancôme commercial.

Jordan tells Curtis that he exceeded her expectations. He’s a bedroom god and has ruined her for all other men. She says she feels blessed and grateful. Curtis says just wait. He’s going to render her speechless.

Kiki asks if Dillon thought her mother was acting strangely, and he says yes. If it was anyone else, he would have thought she was just being a mom. Kiki says she seemed intense, but distracted.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly have proof of Ava’s involvement in Morgan’s death. Carly says Ava admitted it. Dante asks what they found at the warehouse. Carly says it was dark, but they eventually came across Ava with a kerosene lamp. Dante asks if that’s how the fire started, and Sonny says it started when she threw the lamp at Carly. Well, that’s not exactly what she did, or she has seriously bad aim.

Curtis asks what Jordan wants to do about dinner, and she can’t believe he’s thinking about food. Not for long. They start getting busy again.

Nathan says he guesses this is the classified business Anna had with Alex at the airport. Anna explains about their falling out, and how her sister impersonated her. She says in Helena’s last act, she was almost successful in programming Jake, but in the end, it was Valentin who got the Chimera back to her.

Laura tells Lulu not to judge herself. If Valentin drops off the face of the earth, it would solve her problems, and her brother’s murderer would get what’s coming to him. If he doesn’t pull through, she has nothing to feel guilty about. Lulu says Charlotte adores him, and she doesn’t want her to go through that kind of pain. The doorbell rings. It’s Nina.

Carly repeats that Ava admitted she switched the pills to keep Morgan away from Kiki. Dante is skeptical. Carly says if her plan had worked, Morgan would be over-medicated in Freedman, but still alive. Sonny says Ava’s miserable life wouldn’t have been worth the trouble of him killing her. Dante is still doubtful of them going there just to discuss things. Carly calls Ava a coward, telling Dante that Ava threw the lamp after she called Ava out.

Kiki tells Dillon that Ava thinks she’ll have more access to Avery if Carly is divorced from Sonny. She says she can’t get drawn in again. Epiphany comes out, and tells Kiki that she has bad news.

Nina asks about Charlotte, and Lulu says she’s sleeping like an angel, inviting Nina in. Laura says they heard Valentin was shot. Nina says she knows he’s not her favorite person, but he was a hero. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Laura says everything that happened was set into motion by Valentin.

Anna tells Nathan what happened, and how she and Valentin argued over the Chimera. She says in the midst of it, they got a call from Nina. While Valentin went to outwit, outplay and outlast Nina’s abductors, she went to get the Chimera annihilated. Now, it’s no longer a threat to anyone.

Curtis tells Jordan to never stop challenging him, and Jordan says he’s worth the trouble. They’re about to kiss, and Jordan’s phone rings. She says it’s Anna. He says what has Anna done except get her in trouble, but Jordan says that Anna is the one who told her to go for it with him. She has to go to work, and tells him that it’s a classified event. Curtis says he hates letting her go, but knows it can’t wait. She promises to make it up to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Ava used the distraction of Carly falling to pull out her gun and accuse him of Morgan’s death. Carly says by the time the fire spread, they were on opposite sides of it. Sonny says there was a back door, and Dante asks why she didn’t use it. Carly says they were trying to find their own way out, and weren’t thinking about Ava’s escape route.

Epiphany tells Kiki that the burn patient is her mother.

Curtis puts the empty room service tray in the hallway. Grace walks by. She’s there for an interview, and asks what he’s doing in a hotel, and if the room service is that good. He says he didn’t dine alone. Grace asks if he wants to grab a drink.

Anna tells Jordan that the weapon has been neutralized. Jordan asks how it got there, and Anna explains about Helena programming Jake. She says that Jordan needs to know that Valentin sold it to Helena after her sister got him to steal it for her.

Laura tells Nina that Valentin stole the biotoxin years ago and sold it to Helena. Nina says he hated Helena, but Laura says he was a fugitive and needed the money for surgeries. Nina says it was decades ago. Lulu tells her that Helena literally programmed Jake to use it. Since Charlotte and Emma were next to him, they would have been the first to be exposed.

Kiki asks Epiphany how bad Ava is, but she’s still being evaluated. Kiki wants to see her, but Epiphany says she can’t. Dillon asks if they know anything, and Epiphany says she has burns over 50% of her body. Kiki asks if she’s saying Ava could die

Carly tells Dante that the warehouse is like a maze, and it’s amazing (I don’t think pun intended, but she used that word) that they found their way out. She says they called 911 immediately when they got outside. Sonny says that Ava started the fire and trapped herself.

Curtis tells Grace he’ll take a pass. He doesn’t want to mess things up. Grace says she must be something else, and she’s happy for him. He says no, she’s not, and she says to wish her luck; they might end up being neighbors.

Jordan asks about Anna’s health, and Anna says Alex arranged for her to be treated. She’s back now, and the Chimera is destroyed. Other than Valentin, no one was hurt. Nathan tells them that the surgery is over. I can’t help thinking there’s still something up with this Chimera business. The fact that it’s not a threat anymore has been repeated a million times. Usually, that means something is still a threat.

Nina tells Laura and Lulu that Anna’s version of the truth isn’t the truth, because they know how it is where Valentin is concerned. Lulu says that Anna did claim there were mitigating circumstances, but Laura says that if Valentin hadn’t sold it in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Nina remembers Valentin telling her that she transformed him, and he had been a bad man. She says omg, it was him. I’m saying, omg, how about Anna’s involvement and being a double-agent? I guess we’re bypassing that.

Dante tells Sonny and Carly they’re free to go. After he’s out of the room, Carly tells Sonny that maybe they shouldn’t have talked without Diane. Sonny says the evidence backs them up. They’ll figure out that Ava did it to herself. He tells Carly not to waste her compassion. I guess like most husbands, he wasn’t really listening, since she was only being concerned about the two of them.

Epiphany tells Kiki that Ava is getting the best care. Kiki asks her to tell Ava that she loves her. Kiki asks Dillon how this could have happened. Dante comes by, and Dillon asks him how this happened. Dante explains that Ava had a confrontation with Sonny and Carly. Kiki asks if it was about Avery, but Dante says it was about her involvement in Morgan’s death.

Carly says last thing she feels is compassion. Sonny talks about Morgan thinking his own mind had turned against him. He says Ava doesn’t have a clue, and he doesn’t care that she’s going through this hell. Carly says she doesn’t want to let this go, and what do they do if she lives? Sonny says hope she gets caught, tried, and put away. Carly says it won’t bring Morgan back, but Sonny tells her that they have no more questions. They finally know why he died. Carly thought it would lessen the grief, and says she needs to go. She has to figure out what to tell Josslyn. Sonny says at least Avery is too young. Carly tells him to give her a hug and take care of himself.

Kiki says Ava had nothing to do with the bomb. Dante says he’s sure she must have noticed Morgan’s behavior, and it was because he wasn’t getting his lithium. He explains about Ava replacing the pills. Kiki doesn’t want to believe it, but Dante says she admitted it to Carly and Sonny. Kiki says omg, and starts crying. Dillon comforts her. I hope she doesn’t get stupid again, and let this come between them.

Nina says that Valentin never told her about the Chimera, but there was something about his past that he regretted. Lulu says not enough to warn somebody. He left it out there like a ticking bomb for it to be used against their children. Nina asks her not to tell Charlotte. Lulu says she didn’t want it to go down like this. Nina gathers up the bottom of her fabulous dress, and says she’ll talk to them later.

Anna enters Valentin’s room. He asks about Charlotte, and Anna says she’s fine and at Lulu’s. He asks about Nina, but she doesn’t know. She says the bullet passed his vital organs, and he’s lucky. He says he doesn’t feel lucky, and asks about the Chimera. Anna tells him that she personally supervised its destruction. She says the WSB has Alex in custody. She’s going to tell them that he stole it, and he’ll be charged with treason, among other crimes, and will probably be put away for rest of his life. She takes his hand and he makes the Saddest. Face. Ever.

Tomorrow, Diane tells Alexis she’s a lawyer again, Michael wants to take care of Nelle, And Julian gets the news about Ava.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Idiot, and/or liar, Luann tells Dorinda that she trusts Tom 100%. She says Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends to get dirt on him. Ramona appears, and Dorinda tries to tell her what they were talking about, but Luann talks over her about happiness with Tom and blah-blah-blah. Ramona says if she was getting married in two weeks, she’d want to know if he hasn’t changed. Luann says she still texts with Jacques, and she’s not changing a guy of that age. Ramona says he’s still kissing other women, but Luann insists he’s with her 24/7. Ramona asks why she’s lying.

Magically, Bethenny and Carole have joined them. Bethenny says they just want to make sure it’s all good. Ramona wants Luann to admit that Tom’s philandering hasn’t stopped. Luann says he has female friends, but Ramona says he takes them out to dinner, and pushes himself on them. Bethenny says cracks become craters, and brings up how he was making out with someone before the engagement party. Luann says it was a year ago, but it’s only been six months. Ramona says they just want to make sure she doesn’t find something out later that will devastate her. She says she was the last to know, and it was terrible. She adds that it is what it is.

Bethenny says Carole was concerned that Luann was having second thoughts. We flash back to Carole’s conversation with Barbara. In her interview, Carole says she thinks Luann knows what she’s doing and what she’s getting. Luann tells the women that they’re confident in who they are and what they’re doing. She says they’re happy, and talks about their lifestyle. Bethenny quietly tells Tinsley that she thinks Luann is looking at Palm Beach and parties rather than marriage. Luann says there’s no question in her mind, and there shouldn’t be in anyone else’s. Dorinda says it’s time to put it to bed now. Somehow, all of the women have ended up in the conversation circle at this point.

Sonja tells Luann that there’s always someone who’s jealous and wants to ruin it for you. In her interview, Sonja says she’s already on thin ice with Luann and Tom, so she’s not saying anything. Carole says they’ve said all they can say. Bethenny tells a few of the women that it’s the trick guy syndrome – he wasn’t hot or popular in high school, then gets money and goes crazy; they’re like sleeper cells.

Bethenny has doubts that Luann doesn’t have doubts. She says they could say he murdered someone, and she’d be okay with it. Carole asks Tinsley if she listened to anyone, and she says no. In her interview, she says it took a great fall for her to realize. Sonja feels badly, but says they need to stay out of it. Carole wonders why all these women want him, and Bethenny says his d*ck shoots diamonds. Must be, because I can’t figure it out either.

Ramona insists to Sonja that Bethenny is engaging with her, but Sonja thinks Bethenny is ignoring her. Ramona tells Sonja that she and Bethenny have always had a shallow great relationship, and she understands what topics are off-limits now. She made a mistake, but it wasn’t out of maliciousness, and she wants to address it at some point. Sonja approves.

Dorinda has little stockings with candy canes in them at each place setting. Bethenny asks Tinsley how she’s liking this crew. Tinsley says that she and Sonja have had differences lately, but Bethenny says that will happen when you live together. Tinsley tells her that Sonja has a tendency to talk down to her.

The ladies decide to start up one of the fireplaces. Carole claims to know what she’s doing. In her interview, she says her fire was on point, but she thinks she burned some doorstoppers. Luann joins them. Bethenny congratulates her, and she sends a congrats back for the divorce. Bethenny says it’s almost over, and apologizes for the altercation she and Luann had same place last year. Dorinda comes in, and tells them the fireplace doesn’t work. Yep. The room is full of smoke. So much for Carole’s Girl Scouting abilities, although she claims no responsibility for a broken flue. Well, she might have asked if it was okay first. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s like taking care of toddlers.

Tinsley talks about wanting a relationship with someone older than thirty. Luann says you have to go with your gut. Bethenny says that’s what got her in the toilet bowl, but Luann says she does have her daughter. Bethenny says she never would have imagined what was going to happen. She’s in a negative torturous situation, and holding on by a thread. Dorinda thinks Bethenny is emotionally heightened because of what’s going on in her own life. Luann says you just move on to the next phase; there’s a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield. Bethenny says she’s still in the same phase, and feels like she’ll never be done. She says she’s in hell, and it will never end.

While she’s talking, Ramona and Sonja literally skip in holding hands. I can’t even. Dorinda says she loves John, but she’s finding it hard to jump to the next level of commitment. Bethenny goes into the other room and cries. In her interview, she says she feels hopeless sometimes, like her ex is untouchable and she’ll never get out of this. Luann finds Bethenny, and says she didn’t mean to upset her; she didn’t realize it wasn’t over. Bethenny says she didn’t know, and not her fault. She starts to cry again, and tells Luann she thinks she’s making a big mistake and that Tom is cheating on her.

Dorinda asks why Bethenny is crying, and Carole explains how things have gotten worse with suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny tells Luann that if she has any doubts, she doesn’t have to go through with it. Luann says she’s good. Bethenny says she’s not a big sharer, but she’s not okay. She and Luann hug. Bethenny says if someone’s life is to torture you, you’re not okay. Carole tells the other women about Bethenny’s creepy cling-on cross-to-bear, and says he tells Bethenny that she’s a bad mother, calling her by her own mother’s name, who was a bad mother. I’m hoping any visits with the kid are supervised. Bethenny tells Luann that she doesn’t think Tom is a good guy, but Luann says she does. Bethenny wishes someone had pulled her out at the last minute, and she didn’t mean to intrude. Luann says she feels like they’re always being watched, and it’s been nerve-wracking. Bethenny asks if Tom was caught making out with someone tomorrow, if Luann would react the same way, but Luann says it won’t happen again.

Dorinda is talking about how her late husband introduced her to John. Luann returns, and Ramona asks how Bethenny is. Carole goes upstairs to check on her. Ramona and Sonja talk about how they’re always laughing and having fun. That’s because there isn’t a full brain between them, and ignorance is bliss.

Bethenny tells Carole that Luann is sitting up Deepak Chopra’s a-hole with her zen attitude, and she’s living in a fortune cookie. She’s concerned that Ramona is going to make it about her.

Dorinda is serving canned cranberry sauce. Not even the one with berries in it; the solid kind. Really? Everyone gathers in the kitchen to watch her put the meal together. Everybody except me – and maybe Bethenny – is thrilled with the cranberry sauce. For once, Carole is first at the table. Bethenny is hoping Ramona steers clear of her. Ramona spills sauce on one of the upholstered chairs, but Dorinda says not to worry about it, and she’ll deal with it tomorrow. In her interview, Dorinda says there’s something strange about Ramona, and it seems to be intensifying.

A toast to Dorinda! The chicken is served, which compels Carole to bring up how terribly their raised, and that she can show them a video. Dorinda says that on birthdays you should give a gift, and one of them is winning a handmade chocolate Santa. Ramona wins, and says Avery will love it. Carole thinks Ramona is drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says Ramona’s daughter is twenty-two. Is she sending her a chocolate Santa to go with her beer? Ramona toasts to Luann, wishing her a happy life that’s everything she wants it to be.

It’s cake time. Bethenny talks to Luann about Ramona laying it on. Ramona is the only one who doesn’t take her dishes to the kitchen, leaving a mess at her dining table spot. In her interview, Dorinda doesn’t understand where Ramona gets her sense of entitlement. The ladies sing Happy Birthday, and Dorinda blows out the candles.

Suddenly, Ramona is talking in Bethenny’s ear. In her interview, Bethenny says she was like a bat crawling onto her shoulder. Ramona says knows what she did hit Bethenny wrong. She doesn’t want to say she’s sorry, and risk being called The Apologizer, but she’s sorry. Bethenny tells us that Ramona gets the creepiest apology of the year award, adding, is that an apology or are you happy to see me?

At the table, Bethenny talks about all the awkward situations that have happened between them. Ramona says stupid things, and Carole calls her schmaltzy. Ramona tells them how much she loves them – except Tinsley, who’s new and she doesn’t love her that much yet. She proposes a toast to friendship, and Dorinda and Luann say they’re toasted out.

Ramona thinks she and Bethenny made up, but Dorinda says no, she doesn’t think so, and I laugh. Ramona says that Bethenny is making it difficult. Ramona tells Sonja that Bethenny makes her nervous. The girls goof around in the kitchen, saying that Tinsley’s voice makes everything she says sound like a proposition.

Ramona follows Bethenny to the living room. In her interview, she wonders how to fix things if Bethenny won’t let her. Bethenny says she doesn’t want Ramona walking on eggshells. Ramona apologizes again, and says there’s nothing malicious in her. Bethenny asks what she’s done, and Ramona says she doesn’t want to go in the past, but move forward. Bethenny tells Ramona that she hasn’t been a good friend. Ramona says, are you kidding me, like a dozen times.

Next time, Ramona gives Bethenny a list of her faults, Tinsley is uncomfortable at Sonja’s place, and Jill Zarin makes an appearance.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now presented a look back at scandals and how they’ve impacted us. Lorena Bobbitt, Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, Rob Lowe, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee, more sex tapes, Jim Baker and other Evangelical scandals, Amy Fisher, Mary Kay Letourneau and how she and her one-time student squeeze are still together, Hulk Hogan, Tiger Woods, et al. One of the highlights was a lengthy interview with Mary Jo Buttafuoco, who, for the first time, displayed the Members Only jacket that she was wearing when Amy Fisher shot her, albeit torn and pretty bloody. It’s dried since then. I like Mary Jo. She’s a cool person and quite the pragmatist. She also informed us that to this day, ex-husband Joey has never admitted to having an affair with Amy. Next time, 1981 – the Royal Wedding, MTV, and shoulder pads, here we come!

🍰 Master Chef (the one with big people) started its new season tonight, and looks promising. The f Word also premiered, and even though I haven’t seen it yet, thanks to Bravo screwing me over, from the previews, it looks awesome. I’d previously watched the BBC series, and loved it. FOX is rerunning it on Friday at 9 pm. I’ll be there.

 

 

May31

May 30, 2017 – The End of Jake’s Magic Act, a One-Day Charter & Eddie is Surrounded

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason tells Jake it’s late and they need to go home. Anna tells him to stop. Jake sees Helena. He holds the Chimera up, and Helena tells him, bravo. He flips it on. Valentin says it’s unlocked, and they have to get out of there, but Jake says they have to stay. It would be really funny if the whole thing was a sham and the Chimera was a dud.

Dante calls Sonny. He leaves a message telling him not to do anything stupid. Scotty told him that Sonny had been trying to shake him down, and he figures it’s about Morgan’s pills.

Carly gets in Ava’s face, and says come and get her. Ava says no more, and throws the lantern to the ground, starting a fire. Ava says they’re not going anywhere, and draws her gun. She says fair is fair, and now it’s Sonny’s turn.

Nathan tells Amy she stole his photo. She prefers the word “borrowed,” and says he should be thanking her for making him famous.

Valentin tells Jake not to open it. Jason says it looks heavy; maybe he should put it down. Helena tells him not to listen, and just look at her. Jason asks what he’s looking at. Helena calls Jake her clever, darling boy, and says he knows what to do.

Valentin asks Emma and Charlotte to come. He tells Lulu, Laura, and Nina to get them somewhere safe. Out in the hallway, Nina asks what just happened.

Jason says he knows Jake is scared, but it will be okay, just hand him the martini shaker canister. He says she doesn’t want him too. Jason asks who, and he says Helena. Elizabeth asks if she’s there and telling him to open it. He nods. Helena tells him not to weaken. Elizabeth tells him to keep looking at her. Helena doesn’t have the power; he does. Jason says he’s the one in control. Elizabeth tells him to give Jason the container. Helena tells him not to listen, and to open the Chimera and do what he was born to do.

Nathan tells Amy that it’s the epitome of false advertising. Details, details, she says. He tells her that he doesn’t want to be a part of it, but she says he hasn’t even read it. She tells him about the advice that he gives. He asks if this is the other job she talked about. She says she doesn’t get paid right now, but eventually, the money will roll in. She asks if they’re good, and he tells her they will be as soon as she takes it down.

Ava admits to replacing Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. She didn’t want it to get that far, but instead of seeing if there was a problem, they indulged him. Didn’t it occur to them that something was wrong, and he belonged in an institution? Sonny calls her a psychotic bitch, and says she led Morgan down the wrong path. Sonny says he’s not standing there. They’re leaving, and she can shoot him in the back. Carly tells her to burn in hell, and they leave.

Ava tries to get out another door, but the exit is blocked. I think she could probably squeeze through the opening if she tried though.

Helena urges Jake to give them a show. Elizabeth asks if he’s seeing the witch, and if she’s telling him to do things he doesn’t want to do. She tells him that the witch isn’t real; she’s a bad dream. Helena laughs and says it isn’t true. Elizabeth tells Jake that Helena thinks she’s won, and Helena says she knows she has. Elizabeth says she thinks the hate she has for everyone is stronger than the love Elizabeth has for him. But she couldn’t be more wrong. Jake fingers the container opening.

Amy tells Nathan that she has advertisers lined up, and they’re the next big thing. Nathan is like, there’s no “we.” He asks why doesn’t she just put her own picture on the column? She says smart blondes are a dime a dozen. He tells her either take down his image or the blog. She asks if he couldn’t learn something from her advice, and what if she could help him save his marriage?

Dante gets a call about the fire. He asks who owns the warehouse. When he finds out that it’s Ava, and he says he’ll be right there.

Ava can’t get out. Something falls, and she can’t get through the other door either. Carly and Sonny wander around in the smoke. Carly says they made a wrong turn, and Sonny tells her that they have to go back. They hear Ava calling for help.

Charlotte asks if her papa is in trouble, but Nina says he’s just trying to help. Emma wonders why Jake seems afraid, but still wants to open the container. Laura and Lulu get the girls out. Nina decides to stay.

Elizabeth says she knows that Jake can do it. Helena says that she hasn’t scratched the surface of what he can do. Elizabeth calls him strong, but Helena says she’s the one who prepared him to face his destiny. She tells him to release the Kraken Chimera. Elizabeth asks Jake if he can tell how much she loves him; how much they all do. Helena says enough drivel; end it now. Ha-ha! I love Helena. Elizabeth says they know that Jake loves them too, and that’s why Helena can’t win; love is always stronger than hate. Jason says they can handle anything as long as they have each other. Jake turns off the Chimera, and Helena disappears. Anna takes the box and puts it on the floor. Elizabeth hugs Jake.

Lulu tells Charlotte that her dad will get her asap. Emma wants to know why Jake was acting weird, and Charlotte asks why everyone seemed scared. Laura tries to finagle it into magic show suspense. The girls go to the kitchen for cookies. Lulu wonders what was in the canister, and if she should call Dante. Laura tells her to wait. Lulu asks if Laura thinks Helena had something to do with it. Laura says yes, but they have the upper hand this time. They’re not on the island, but among family and friends in Port Charles.

Elizabeth tells Jake how strong he is. He tells them he’s sorry. Jason says it wasn’t his fault, and he has nothing to be sorry about. They hug. Franco approaches Elizabeth, and Nina comes back in. Valentin says he wanted her to leave the building, but the threat has been neutralized for now. He explains what happened, and says it’s why Alex was chasing him, pretending to be Anna. Nina asks if it’s over, and he says not until the canister is destroyed. Anna tells Jake how brave he is, and Jason says they’re proud of him. Elizabeth tells Franco she was scared, and they hug. Jason thanks her. She thinks Jake should be checked out at the hospital. Jason asks Elizabeth and Franco to take him. He wants to make sure Helena has no more surprises. Elizabeth tells him to be careful, and gathers up Jake.

Anna says the area has to be cleared. Nina offers to call security and the police. Anna tells Valentin she’ll call the WSB, and have it destroyed.

While Nina is in the hallway making the call, a man holds a gun to her head and says her call just dropped

Amy says that Maxie and Nathan are at opposite ends of the country, and Nathan says that Maxie has a job in Portland. Amy tells him that there are jobs everywhere. Nathan says they’ll figure it out, and she says, if he says so, but she has to get to work.

The fire starts to spread, more slowly than any fire in history. Ava screams for help. Carly asks Sonny what should they do? He says they can’t help her; they’ll all die. He tells Carly that they can call 911 when they get out. Ava is now lying on the floor, unconscious.

Sonny and Carly get outside. Carly calls 911, and tells them what’s going on, adding that they should hurry. She tells Sonny that the fire was already reported. Smoke is coming out from under the door.

Elizabeth and Franco wait at the hospital. Franco says Jake will be fine. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what a close call it was. Franco applauds her mom awesomeness, and they kiss.

Coming out of the hospital elevator, Amy asks Nathan to stop arguing. He says not until she takes the picture down. They see Franco and Elizabeth. Amy asks if something happened at the Nurses Ball, and Franco says they’re not going to believe it.

Two guys go into the ballroom, one of them still holding a gun on Nina. They want the box, but Jason says he doesn’t have it.

That’s because Valentin has it. Anna asks him what he’s doing. He says he was short-sighted, but it was years ago. He tells her that selling the device to Helena was a bad mistake in anyone’s book, but not to act like she doesn’t have regrets. He didn’t sell himself to the DVX. She was a double-agent, but didn’t have price tag on her head or need surgeries. She says that she was young and full of herself, and did it for money. He tells her that she doesn’t get to judge. She says he’s in possession of classified weapon, and it has to be destroyed. Valentin says that’s what he’s going to do.

Anna says she spoke to Robert, and the WSB is going to handle it. Valentin says, great; they handled the Alex situation really well. He says mistakes were made, and Charlotte almost died. She says they all almost died, including Emma. He thinks the WSB will just put it in a vault somewhere, but Anna says it was a mistake made by cold war hysteria, and they want it gone. She asks him to give it to her and be done with it. He says the past is coming back to bite him, and what if it was her past? Would she trust it to an organization that’s failed her over and over? She says fine, don’t trust them, but trust her. His phone rings. It’s Nina. She says she’s in the ballroom, and there’s a guy holding gun who wants the Chimera, and the phone disconnects. Valentin tells Anna that Nina is being held hostage by someone who wants the Chimera. She says he knows what to do.

Laura plays charades with the girls. She asks if Charlotte wants to try, but she’s too worried. Lulu says maybe they’re having fun and lost track of time. Emma says they’re doing that thing grownups do – not telling the truth. Lulu says they can be sure that everyone wants to help Jake. She says Anna, Jason and Valentin are smart and brave, and can handle it. Emma says, copy that.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly are okay. Carly tells him that Ava is still inside. He’s like, you left her in there??? Sonny says she started fire, and tells him what happened. Carly says they thought she took a different exit. Sonny says by the time they realized, they couldn’t go back and help or they’d all die. The firemen go inside. Sonny tells Dante their hands are clean. Dante hopes so, and says if something happens to Ava, they’ll have to answer for it.

Valentin enters the ballroom with the box. He tells them to take it and get out. Jason asks if he’s crazy, and Valentin tells him to stay out of it. They take the box, and let Nina go. They open box, and one of them asks what Valentin is trying to pull. Valentin tells Nina to run. He and Jason fight the bad guys.

Nathan arrives, and asks Nina what’s going on.

The firemen bring Ava out. She’s alive, but not looking good. A fireman says that she’s barely hanging on, and they have to get to the hospital asap. Carly says at least she got out. Sonny tells Carly that he’ll give her a ride home. Dante says they have to come to the station for a statement.

Franco and Elizabeth go into Jake’s hospital room. Amy tells them he’s doing great. So great, they want to keep him overnight, so he can show the other kids how it’s done. Franco tells Jake that he’s brave; it takes a lot of courage to face the demons in your head. Jake asks if Helena is gone and not coming back. Elizabeth tells him that the nightmares are over, and only sweet dreams from now on.

Anna hears someone, and says close enough. She sees a man, and asks if Scorpio sent him. He says yes, showing ID, and that he has to take the Chimera to WSB headquarters. Anna says she’s coming along. She has to see for herself that it’s neutralized.

Nathan calls for a squad. He wants Nina to leave, but she won’t. He goes into the ballroom and we hear a gunshot. Nina runs in, and Valentin lies on the floor, bleeding. NOOOOO! Nina runs to him.

Tomorrow, Nathan wants to talk to Nina about Valentin, Epiphany has bad news, and Dante wants to know why Sonny and Carly were at the warehouse.

Below Deck Mediterranean

After nine hours total, the anchor is finally untangled and in. Captain Sandy has a new appreciation for Wes. Malia tells us she’s attracted to both Wes and Chef Adam. Chef Adam is feeling receptive to that.

Finally, tip time. The captain tells the crew about being considerate of others. Mostly because Bobby is a child. The tip from the Mr. Skin charter is $17,000, $1,500 each. The crew goes ashore for drinking time. Wes demonstrates making sounds by squishing his palms together. In her interview, Hannah says only Max isn’t interested in Malia. What’s up with Max? The crew goes back to the boat, and Adam breaks out some ribs. Adam’s ribs. Lauren is feeling sad and left out, and asks Bobby if he can forgive her. In his interview, he says that he’ll forgive, but not forget. Very original.

This time it’s a one-day charter that the primary guest, Eden, has set up for his girlfriend to celebrate some milestones in their lives. They want a Croatian dinner, but have no weird food requests, which makes Adam very happy. Especially after the last group, several of whom could only eat lettuce leaves harvested from the moon.

Bugs is trying to come to terms about not attending her grandmother’s funeral. The crew gets into their whites to great the guests. Champagne is handed out, and Hannah gives the tour. The agenda is a cheese plate, water toys, and lunch on shore. Wow. They have a lot of bags for just one day. Adam is impressed with how Bugs is always a step ahead.

Ohh, Max has a girlfriend. That explains why he’s not after Malia. He talks about his lady having a dancing contract in Dubai, and how it’s difficult to get out of the country. Malia learns more about dropping anchor. Wes wants to prove to the captain that he can handle his crew by himself.

Cheese plate, done. Water toys, happening. Weather, not so great. Captain Sandy says they have to drop anchor asap. Suddenly, a guest gets hurt falling off the banana. She’s hit her head, and Bobby asks questions like what year is it? In his interview, he says he went into firefighter mode, and wants to impress the captain, Wes, and Malia. Captain Sandy says they’re dragging anchor, and tells the crew to get the toys out of the water now.

Hannah decides to send Bugs with Adam on his shore shopping trip, since she could use a break. The yacht docks, and the captain checks on the guest who was hurt. She says she just got the wind knocked out of her, but I’ll bet she has a helluva headache too. Bugs asks Hannah if it’s okay if she gives Lauren guidance, and Hannah is all for that.

The guests go for lunch, and Adam and Bugs go to the market. Adam says he likes to follow the culture as a chef. As always, everything looks amazing – both the restaurant and the market food. Bobby thinks Hannah wants nothing to do with him now, and feels completely alone. Malia flirts with Wes.

Adam and Bugs stop for a drink, and Adam tells her that she’s strong and professional. He thinks they’ll work well together. The guests decide to bring the party on board, adding a few “friends.” Ten of them. Did they pick these people up at the restaurant?

Commercial break. Please. It’s for Trojan, and this girl is strolling along with the box peeking out of her bag. On purpose. Who does that? A hooker?

Lauren feels overwhelmed by the amount of people, but says it’s her time to shine. Adam wakes Hannah up to help when one of the guests comes to him looking for beer. Lauren is annoyed. Some extremely cool sorbet snacks are set out, and I covet the weirdly shaped dishes they’re being served in. The new friends leave before dinner, which I’m sure is a relief to the crew.

A Grecian flavor has been decided on for the Croatian dinner. Hannah asks Bobby if he’s good at this toga business. Malia thinks Adam is intriguing, but she once dated her captain, and says you know shipboard romance isn’t going to last. The table is decorated with gold, bunches of grapes, and palm fronds. One of the guests acts like an idiot, because Hannah asked him to leave the dining area while they were setting the table, and he didn’t want to wear an “f-ing toga,” when she asked him if he was into it. No more for him. A few of the guests and the crew sport togas.

Lauren feels like everyone thinks she’s incompetent. Adam says Bugs looks pretty fast next to Hannah, not that he’s calling Hannah lazy. Hannah brings out the deckhands in togas, and Adam follows with a four-layer cake to represent the primary guests’ four celebrations. The dudes discuss the tip, and crabby drunk guy acts all stingy. Hannah thinks if you have to argue about the tip, you’re a cheap ass.

One of the guests tells Hannah that she “feels energy,” because she’s sensitive to it, and thinks something is weird. Hannah tells her they’re just trying to clean up. Bugs says she feels weird energy when she’s wasted too. Lauren is looking for bottled water, and gives everyone attitude. Hannah talks to Adam about Wes, and thinks Malia should get with him. Adam isn’t thrilled with that idea.

Croatia is my new dream destination. It’s absolutely beautiful. Adam makes a fabulous breakfast to go with the scenery. Crabby-ass sips coffee. Hannah and Bugs discuss charging the radios. Hannah thinks Bugs and Adam are getting along well. Wes says some things about shoving off that I don’t understand because he talks in Swedish or something. The captain is pissed because there’s a stern line in the water. Bobby cops to it being his fault, surprising me. The captain wants Wes to handle the lines like he knows what he’s doing. Maybe he does, but they can’t understand him.

It’s time to say good-by to the guests. The girlfriend says the trip was spectacular. Let’s see if the tip is. Captain Sandy thanks the crew. The tip is $12, 000, $1,100 each. Hannah says not bad for a one-day charter. Agreed. Bugs tells Lauren the more overwhelmed she gets, the more it will eat her up. She says if Lauren needs help, to just ask her. In her interview, Lauren talks about being a people pleaser. Lauren tells Hannah she doesn’t think other crew members are respecting her position. She talks about the deckhands sitting around, and Hannah tells her to be assertive and ask. Hannah says that sitting around crying affects everyone, and to just stop. Bugs is annoyed that Hannah told her to deal with Lauren, and is now inserting herself. It’s all hugged out by the end of the conversation.

Everyone gets ready for down time on shore. Adam feels like Wes has had too much time with Malia, and wants to stake his claim. The crew goes to dinner. Everyone talks about their sex lives, and Bugs says she and Wes are waiting for marriage. In her interview, she says that she and her boyfriend aren’t clingy. Adam tells everyone that living in a van isn’t exactly a chick magnet. We see pictures though, and it’s not like a van down by the river; it looks like a small, but charming home. They move on to the club.

Malia tells Bugs she doesn’t want to hang out with Adam and ruin things with Wes. Everyone drinks more and dances. Bobby gets roses for the ladies. Lauren has felt like a weak link and is glad for the approval she’s feeling from Hannah. That’s just sad. Malia plucks her rose, doing loves me, loves me not. Bobby vogues. Adam tells Bugs what a great stew she is. She’s feeling uncomfortable because Hannah is within earshot. He asks if she thinks he has a chance with Malia. She thinks he should be worried about Wes. In his interview, he says Wes is Malia’s boss and it’s a no-no. Um, she already slept with her previous captain.

Wes says Malia is a hard decision to make, but good things are spontaneous. They flirt. They kiss. They kiss some more. He says this goes against everything. They return to the table separately. Malia tells Adam, who says that he’s not letting Wes take her, whatever that means. Wes tells Bugs that he’s conflicted. Back on the boat, Adam tells Malia to forget about the kiss. She says no. Bugs encourages Wes. Adam lays a kiss on Malia.

Next time, the guests consume six and a half bottles of vodka in less than six hours (a record!), Hannah and Adam clash, and Lauren tells Malia that romance with two crew members is not a good look. I agree. I’m disappointed in her.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis asks Kelly if she missed him. She asks why he’s doing this. She asks what she can do to make him stop. He says make love to him – like she did the last time. She says okay. He tells her that if she tries anything, he’ll kill her, and Justice will find her dead, bloody corpse. That’s a little redundant, since all corpses are dead. She agrees. He wants to take a shower first because, who knows? He grabs a knife as they walk past the kitchen.

He asks Kelly why she’s scared. Then he shows her the knife. He asks if she wants him to put it down, and she says please do. He does, and says she still looks scared. She says it’s because of what he did. He’s all smiley and weird, and says she learns quick. He tells her to get on her knees. She begs him no.

Um… I think she bit him. He’s like ow! and she runs. She doesn’t get far. Travis knocks her down by the bathroom door. He hears Justice saying that he’s calling the police, and runs. Kelly locks herself in the bedroom with Justice.

Brad asks Marcie if she’s pregnant. She asks if he’s been talking to Alex, and he tells her that he has. She says she is, but it’s Randal’s. She can count, unlike his dumb-ass wife. He says he thought she couldn’t have children, but she says she was wrong. All the years she prayed for a baby, it comes now. She’s not telling Randal though. Marcie asks if Alex will tell him, but Brad says she’s not talking to him. He tells Marcie congratulations. She says she could accept it more if it was his, but scientifically, it’s not possible, as much as she wanted it to be. Brad thinks it’s wise not to tell Randal, especially with what he’s doing with Alex and custody of their baby. Marcie says it’s all about control. Brad says Alex thinks the baby is his, and tells Marcie that all this poison in her isn’t good. She says she loves him. They kiss, confusing me. He asks what she’s going to name the baby, and Marcie asks Brad to hold her. She tells him she’s sorry this happened, and he says him too.

It’s disco time! Julius is hanging at the club, when Ben walks in. I guess this is a strip club, but it looks like a throwback to the 70s. Julius snorts cocaine, and hopes his father is burning in hell. Alrighty then. Ben sits down. He says it’s awesome, and Julius asks which girl he wants. He says he has a girlfriend, and Julius smacks him, telling him not to say that, so Ben picks a girl. Julius calls for a drink. He asks what Ben likes, saying they have all kinds of candy. Julius tells him to enjoy, and Ben helps himself to some blow. Julius asks again what girl he wants, and says if he likes boys, he can get that too, but he doesn’t want to see it. Ben chooses a girl, and Julius tells her to do to Ben what she did to get into the party. Ben says he’s nervous because of cell phones. Julius shoots up in the air a couple of times. Everyone ducks and everything gets quiet, and Julius asks if there are any cell phones there. It’s a no, and everyone goes back to partying. Julius insists Ben continue. Honestly though, this looks like the Worst. Strip Club. Ever. It reminds me of a bar in my hometown. It was called The Interlude, and as kids, it all seemed very mysterious and sophisticated, and we were always trying to peek inside. During one of my vacations after moving away from home, a friend and I decided to check it out. It was like we’d stepped back into another era. There was fur along the bar like some cliché pimp’s dashboard, and one poor go-go girl was dancing all by herself in front of some mirrors on an empty dance floor. Absolutely no one was paying attention to her because – wait for it – Camelot was making it’s TV debut, and all of the patrons were glued to the screen.

Ben asks the girl to stop. Julius says he thinks Ben likes boys, and asks what’s going on. Ben says he’s been so nice, and Julius asks how the car is. Ben says he loves it, and drove it here, but wants to know why. Julius says it’s time to be honest. Before his father died, he told him, why make an enemy when you can use them to your advantage? He says the cops are his enemies, and Ben is being used. He tells Ben that after Julius Sr. died, the cops on his payroll got scared, and some got arrested. He says he’s starting his own crew. He tells Ben he’s not the only one. Ben leaves with the girl, and a guy whispers something to Julius. Julius says, Eddie.

Natalie thinks she slept too long, and tells Lushion she’s going to be up all night now. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says better, but wants to visit Joey tomorrow. He thinks they should test out the walls to find out how soundproof they are. She says his phone is vibrating, and he jokes that it’s not his phone, but it is. It’s Esperanza. She says she tried to call Kelly, but can’t get ahold of her. She asks Lushion to check on her. Natalie says now he’s cheating on her with Esperanza and has a baby with Alex. He adds that he’s going to check on his girlfriend Kelly, and explains about Travis still harassing her.

Lushion goes outside in his jammies. Natalie sees someone outside, and jumps up. She runs out the front door, and tells Lushion there was a man outside the window. He tells her to get inside, lock the door, call the police, and call Kelly.

The cops come to Kelly’s house. Lushion tells Dion that Kelly isn’t making this up, and Dion says he knows. Esperanza asks if Kelly wants to go to the hospital, but Kelly says Travis stopped when Justice said he was calling the police. She gets highly pissed at Dion, saying that Travis had to come at her with a knife before he believed her. She thanks him for serving and protecting, and tells him to go find Travis. He’ll be the one with a bite mark on his penis. I laugh, even though it’s not really funny. I wasn’t expecting it. Natalie and Esperanza take Kelly over to Natalie’s house.

Alex arrives slightly late to the hearing. She says she had to stop to feed her son. Randal gets mad because it’s not fair that Alex gets to visit. The judge asks if Randal would like an order so he can start breastfeeding, and I laugh again. Alex apologizes for wasting the court’s time, and says Randal is the father, and asks for custody. The judge asks why Alex held up the ruling, and Alex says that she was desperate. Randal says that’s no excuse, and the judge agrees. Randal’s lawyer asks for full custody, and no visitation without supervision. Alex begs Randal to let him stay with her, and he can see him whenever he wants to. The judge says he’s granting full custody to the only parent represented here. Randal and I say, what? According to the DNA, he’s not the father. We all look puzzled. Randal calls Alex a slut, and the judge tells him to calm down. He can’t believe it. Neither can Alex. The lawyer looks at the test, and Randal smacks it out of his hand. Randal stomps out, and his lawyer follows.

The judge explains about visits to see if it’s a safe environment, and says they’ll follow-up in thirty days. Alex thanks him. Man, I’d look out for Randal. Did Brad or someone else rig that test? Or are either Alex or Brad not entirely white? Could that be why Alex’s parents were such bigots?

Kelly emerges, and Natalie tells her that Lushion took the kids to school. Kelly says she’s embarrassed; she doesn’t even know how this happened. She’d loved Travis. Natalie says it could happen to any of them. She didn’t know he was crazy. She suggests Kelly get a gun. Kelly says Travis has been sneaking up on her, and she’d be afraid the tables would get turned. She says it’s hard being in the house because of Ramses. She slips about him being murdered there, and Natalie says she’s getting a preacher to bless the place. Kelly tells her to make sure it isn’t Travis. Natalie walks Kelly home.

Lushion gets a call from Pete, saying he’s being moved. He tells Lushion they’re taking Eddie down directly afterward. He asks if there’s any word on Andrew, but that’s a no. Lushion says he’ll call later. He’s surprised Steven finally decided to take Eddie down, but Steven says his boss did. He says this means he doesn’t get Escada. Lushion says maybe not like this, but they’ll get him. Steven says Lushion got his way, and he’s done with this.

Kelly gets an alarm system put into the house. Natalie’s friend Michelle arrives. She’s the gun lady. She shows Kelly a glock, and asks how it feels. Kelly asks if it’s legal, and Michelle shows her a license, saying she’ll still have to do a background check. She also suggests lessons. Kelly asks about safes, and Michelle says she can get one tomorrow. Kelly’s credit card is declined. Twice. Kelly gets another card, but it’s the same thing. Kelly has no idea what’s going on. Michelle asks if she has cash, and Kelly says that she’ll call the bank. Michelle says the wait will cost her. Kelly says fifteen minutes.

Michelle goes to wait in her car, and Kelly calls the bank. She asks Jill to run her card. Jill says it’s over the limit. Kelly asks about the charges, and Jill says it’s a bunch of sex toys, and all the cards are over the limit. She says Kelly could get into trouble at work. Kelly says Jill knows that’s not her. Jill says they were attached to her accounts, and she has no money. Kelly wonders why no one called. Yeah, me too. Jill says she’d better get to the bottom of it before the boss finds out. Kelly asks her to keep it between them until she can do some research. Forget that. I’d be going to boss and asking wth is going on with the security.

Ben’s driving the red sportscar when Eddie pulls him over. He asks why Ben Is in a car like that, and Ben says it’s his buddy’s car. Eddie asks if it’s a drug dealer’s car. Ben says no, but Eddie says he’s lying. He wants to run the plates. They’re in Ohio – I never knew that. I’m from Ohio. Eddie sees drugs in the car, and asks who Ben is running for. Ben says they’re his. Eddie finds out the car is registered to Julius. He smacks Ben around, and Ben claims he was just joy riding. Eddie tells Ben to get lost, and says he’s taking the car. He’s so incredibly stupid. Eddie drives away, and Ben gets into Eddie’s police car.

The girls arrive at Natalie’s house. They all compliment her, and she jokes that Alex’s baby daddy bought all the decor. Natalie asks Kelly if she’s okay, and she says she is, and just wants them to enjoy the evening. They discuss house alarms, and Natalie thinks she should get one too. Natalie says since Lushion invited them, she’s calling him to get some food.

Lushion wanders around the station, waiting. Natalie calls, and he says he can’t make it. He tells her something came up, but it’s just going to be her and the girls. He apologizes, and says it’s very important. She says she’ll order take-out. Steven tells him they don’t know where Eddie is, and Lushion practically hangs up on Natalie. Ben comes in, claiming that Eddie told him to bring his car back to the station. They tell him to go find Eddie. Lushion is concerned that Eddie knows what’s up, but Steven says that’s impossible.

Eddie turns his radio off to enjoy the high. Julius pulls up behind him. Oh, Eddie is doing something other than drugs. He has a girl in the car. Julius says Eddie seems to know a lot about him, and he’s about to save his life again. He tells Eddie not to go to the station – the FBI is waiting. Eddie asks how he knows, and Julius says he knows a lot of things. He has people everywhere. He says Eddie’s captain is in Columbia because he was about to be brought in. Eddie says he’d never mention Julius, but Julius says his time is up at that station; it’s time for new blood. He says if Eddie gets busted and mentions his name… Eddie says he’d never do that. Julius asks if he’s hard of hearing. Eddie says he knew Lushion was FBI. Julius says he doesn’t know Lushion, but he knows his informant, and Eddie had better get lost; he can’t afford him. Eddie says he understands, and he’s going. Julius tells him to clean the seats, and bring the car to his house. Eddie kicks the girl out of the car, and looks like he has a headache.

There’s a knock at Natalie’s door. It’s Marcie bearing wine. She asks if it’s a party and should she come back, but Natalie says it’s just the girls, and come on in. Marcie sits next to Alex. She asks if there’s anything juicy to talk about, and Esperanza thinks they should break out the wine. Marcie says that she thought Alex would have told them – she’s pregnant. She tells them that it’s Brad’s. Now Kelly looks like she has a headache. Marcie says she kept trying with Randal, and one time with her new man, and bam. She asks how Alex’s baby is, and Natalie says they’re not doing this in her new house. Alex says she’ll leave, and Esperanza says they need to stop all of this right now. Alex says that’s not going to happen with Marcie, and Marcie runs her mouth some more. She tells Natalie that she and Lushion have great taste, and she and Alex have great taste in men. She says it turns out Randal isn’t the father of Alex’s baby. She tells them about the DNA test, and how hard she laughed when Louise told her. She says Randal thinks the baby is Lushion’s. Natalie says it is not, and Marcie says she thought the same thing about Randal. Esperanza tells Marcie to stop. Alex says it’s nobody’s business, and the baby isn’t Lushion’s. She gets up to leave, calling for the kids. Esperanza tells her not to involve the kids, and Alex says send them home when they’re done. She walks out, and they follow.

Alex tells Natalie she knows she wouldn’t do that. On the porch of Alex’s house, Brad sees them, and asks what’s going on. Marcie won’t leave, and Alex wants to talk in private. Marcie asks if he really wants to talk to her, and he says he’ll see her back at the apartment. She kisses him and grabs his crotch, saying she’s warming up her dinner. Like Brad would want her acting so absurd. Alex and Brad go inside, and Marcie sits on the porch.

Brad asks what that’s about, and Alex tells him Marcie is harassing her. Brad says he told her to stop, but she’s not listening. Alex asks why he did that, and he says he’s had enough of her suffering, and doesn’t want her to be hurt. They hug. Alex begs him not to leave. She tells him she loves him. He says they can’t do this. She asks him to say he loves her too. He starts to leave, and she stops him. They start to kiss. Marcie hears noises. She can’t believe it. She gets in her car.

Alex and Brad continue to make out. Marcie drives away.

Steven tells Lushion that it’s going down. Lushion says he’s been waiting for this – bye, Eddie.

Eddie is being pursued by the cops. He hears it on the radio, and tries to avoid them. Too late. He’s blocked. They draw their guns. He looks up, thinking he can fly out of this, but no. He lights a joint instead. Why not? A cop tells him to get out of the car and he just looks at them. He’s surrounded.

Kelly tells Natalie it’s not true, and she doesn’t need to talk to Lushion. Kelly offers to take the kids home, but Natalie intervenes, and the entire household walks out. It’s like a small parade, and looks a little ridiculous. The kids ask what’s going on, and Kelly sends the kids who don’t belong to Alex to her house. Esperanza tells Natalie this is not the time, and Kelly adds that she’s never even seen them together.

Suddenly, Dion and Rick appear, and tell Kelly that she’s under arrest – for Ramses’ murder.

We hear a gunshot from Kelly’s house.

The end – for now.

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May30

May 29, 2017 – No GH, a Door Opens for Kathryn, Classless Potomac, a Little Amish & Some Turquoise

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

No General Hospital today. They reran the “Good-by to Tracy” episode. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as the first time, but still enjoyable, and you can’t beat the ending with Luke waiting for her in a Turkish coffee shop. I do wonder if he’s the person who ultimately bought the painting though. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer to that question either.

Southern Charm

Kathryn practices her yoga. Landon calls Thomas to go out to dinner. Craig gets an email saying he passed…something. Cameran and Chelsea are going to Home Goods. Cameran wants a woman cave; her husband suggests a nursery. She tells him about the psychic saying she’ll have three children. He thinks they best get going on that.

Craig puts a copy of the “you passed” email on the fridge. He calls his parents. I find out the cat’s name is Gizmo, and wonder if he has an Instagram account. Craig has satisfied his upper-level writing requirement, which means he has a law degree now. He gives Gizmo some treats to celebrate.

Cameran tells Chelsea that she’s totally redoing the room, and needs help. I immediately covet the grey chaise lounge Cameran parks herself on. She tells Chelsea about the topic of Kathryn coming up at Patricia’s party, but doesn’t exactly present it the way it went. She says whenever they talk about Kathryn, the mood changes. She doesn’t want to get involved and says it’s getting old. What Cameran leaves out is that she’s the one who changed the mood. Whitney merely wondered If Kathryn’s amends-making call was legit, and Cameran got all bent out of shape with Landon backing her up as the Greek-freaking-chorus. Chelsea says she actually met Kathryn at the salon, and – after her initial fear wore off because of what she’d been told – she thought Kathryn was nice. Cameran says she can be lovely, but also an absolute horror. She admits people can change though, so who knows? Maybe she’ll be calling Kathryn some day for mother advice.

Naomie meets Craig for dinner. He tells her about graduating law school, and wanted to tell her in person. She says it’s probably a bigger weight off of her chest than his. Craig asks for credit in improving. Naomie says if there hadn’t been any improvement, they wouldn’t still be together. She acts like an idiot, and then asks if he’s taking the bar. Because God forbid he should be happy for a minute with his recent victory. He says his application is in, but she doesn’t like that answer. She wants him to say the words “I’m taking the bar.”

Shep calls Cameran. He apologizes for getting heated after the party. He just wants everyone to be friends. He’s arranging a lunch, including Kathryn, and would like Cameran to come. She says she doesn’t want any drama. Shep brings up the fact that Thomas is the one who owes her an apology. He says Thomas acts out just as badly (truth!), but he always gets a pass. She says she is curious to see if a change has taken place, so she agrees to come. He tells her to bring safety gear. In his interview, Shep says he’s not on anyone’s side; he’s like Switzerland. He calls Kathryn to warn her that Cameran will be at lunch. We flash back to the reunion, where it didn’t go too well with the two of them.

Thomas tells the nanny that he has a date.

Landon’s sister Bam (wtf? is she a Flintstone?) calls, and Landon tells her about inviting Thomas to dinner. In her interview, she says she’d probably have a ring and all the horses she wanted if she gave the okay. Even though she’s most likely right, that’s incredibly narcissistic.

Thomas and Landon meet at the restaurant. Thomas thinks he’s cool because he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine. They discuss the kids. He talks about Landon’s necklace, and tells her that turquoise is from Turkey. She thinks he’s amazing, but I looked this up, and what he is, is wrong. (See link below.) Landon says that Patricia told her that she should consider Thomas as a suitor. Her turn of phrase reminds me of the first place I lived in NYC. It was a women’s residence – kind of like a dorm – and the ladies who ran it said things like “gentlemen caller” and “beau parlor.” It was like being in a Tennessee Williams play. Landon tells Thomas that it would be good if he was twenty years younger and had no baggage. I choke on my coffee. She says she wishes she wasn’t so concerned about what people think. In his interview, Thomas tells us if he thought that way, he’d never leave the house. He tells a bad joke, and Landon acts like it’s the funniest thing ever. Some drunk lady at the next table tells them that she feels that they’re soulmates. Omg, she’s sloshed, and tells Thomas that he should make out with Landon. Please, not at the table. Please.

Craig and Kathryn are the first to arrive for Shep’s lunch, and they get a table outside. Craig asks when was the last time Kathryn and Cameran talked? Kathryn doesn’t really remember, but she’s glad Cameran agreed to come, since it might be awkward if they run into each other. In her interview, Cameran says she’s anxious and nervous because Kathryn can be unpredictable. Shep says Cameran doesn’t have a leg to stand on, since she and Kathryn have never even had an altercation. Whitney is a different story – we flash back to that. Shep is of the mind that even if there are problems, you smile and say, “good to see you.” We flash back to more Whitney nonsense.

Cameran and Whitney drive to the lunch together. Cameran says it’s an opportunity for Kathryn to prove them wrong, and make the two of them look like a-holes. That shouldn’t be too hard. When they arrive, she hopes Kathryn doesn’t think it’s an ambush. Hugs and air kisses all around. Then silence. Cameran says this is the first time they’ve all been together in a while, and that they support Kathryn, and want her to feel supported, even . Where this is coming from, I have no idea. Kathryn says she appreciates it, and it’s important right now. Whitney says it’s water under the bridge. In her interview, Kathryn says Whitney knew her when, and supported Thomas in her downfall. She thinks he might be feeling guilty.

Cameran asks if she’s finished romantically with Thomas. Kathryn says they haven’t even spoken in a year, and tells them about the letter she wrote to him, saying she’d like to co-parent. She talks about how much better she feels. Cameran says Whitney is in love, and she says with what? – ha-ha! – and he tells her about the new girl in his life. Craig announces that he’s graduated law school. Everyone steers clear of the bar question, but not really, since they say they’re going to steer clear of it.

Austen and Craig go golfing. They decide to make it interesting at twenty bucks a hole. Craig asks about Chelsea. He tells Austen that Naomie says she’s a good old boy in a beautiful woman’s body. In his interview, Austen says Chelsea has been engaged twice, and is skeptical of relationships.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon for a haircut. They talk about the quail hunt. Chelsea says she never went quail hunting before, and loved every second. They talk about dating, and Shep says she must have guys chasing her. She says nobody is chasing her, and Shep asks if she chewed Austen up and spat him out. She says they just have fun together.

Austen tells Craig about Shep saying he broke bro code by dating Chelsea. Craig says there’s nothing there except Shep wanting to conquer. Austen says if Shep makes a move, he’ll know what the score is, and that Shep is no real friend. He doesn’t think Chelsea would go out with him though. Craig tells him about Shep hitting on Naomie. He says the easy answer is that he thinks he’s better than everyone else, but the deeper thought is that he’s insecure and afraid of actually finding his own woman.

Shep asks Chelsea to go for a glass of wine, but she says she’s on the clock. He tells her to clock out.

Nanny Deidre tells Thomas he needs to get serious bout Saint’s birthday party. They discuss the guest list. In his interview, Thomas wishes he had a partner to plan it with, and laments that Saint doesn’t have a mother involved. Well, isn’t that Thomas’s choice? He calls his father, and tells him about the party. His father tells him that he has a dental appointment the same day, and if they pull the tooth, he “ain’t comin’.” Thomas doesn’t seem real happy about that.

Whitney drops by. The nanny takes the children away. Thomas tells Whitney about the party. Whitney asks if he’s inviting Kathryn, and he says he’s giving it some thought. Whitney tells him about the lunch with her, and says she seems to be doing well. Thomas brings up the letter, and Whitney thinks it’s a step forward. He says she seems to want to move on, and perhaps deserves a second chance.

Landon meets Drew for dinner. She gripes about her website. They can’t call it Roam anymore, since it’s a conflict with other websites, and they might get sued. In her interview, Landon says it’s her fault for not doing her homework, but I knew that already. She says that she’s learning so much every day. Like how to tie her shoes and the ABCs. Drew says he was born in 1989, and Landon says she’s old and her eggs are drying up. This woman has no filter. In her interview, she says there’s a void in her life. She tells Drew she wants family life soon. She likes and respects him, and doesn’t want to mislead him. He says he’s not ready for that yet, and she asks if they can still do stuff. She gets all teary, and says that all she wants is someone to walk her dog with her. Good luck with that if you’re going to get all weepy over it. There must be a Facebook group or something for that. I have to admit getting the feels over her talking about her 12-year-old dog.

Kathryn meets Elizabeth (bleh because she’s married to JD) at a coffee/dessert place. They talk about Saint’s birthday, and Elizabeth says they should get a cake. She asks about Thomas, and Kathryn says she wrote to him, but hasn’t heard back. Elizabeth says she has a reply letter for Kathryn, which makes me wonder why she asked, and why she didn’t tell Kathryn that right away. Weird. It’s a pleasant letter, saying blah-blah-blah how he’d like to be friends and wishes her the best. He invites her to the birthday party. She thinks maybe it’s a new beginning, and she’s going in with no expectations. Elizabeth says she hasn’t seen this Kathryn in a while.

Next time, Saint’s first birthday party, Shep tells Chelsea that she’s like a unicorn, and Shep is a no-show to meet Cameran at a property.

A Coupla Things

🍹 I took a look at The Real Housewives of Potomac late last night, and once again was shocked at how unsophisticated this group is. Ashley opened (or got her husband to fund) an Australian themed restaurant – Oz. The menu includes items like kangaroo and emu. Once again, the embarrassing behavior award goes to Gizelle and Robyn. Since this was a restaurant opening event, Ashley gave a little spiel at the beginning. Not only did Robyn have to explain to Gizelle what an emu is, they both made faces about it. While these aren’t things I would normally eat, I wouldn’t act like a five-year-old about it, especially if that’s the fare of the country. Emu was also a thing not all that long ago, being a lean protein. Obviously, these two are uninformed and immature. Karen needs to give them pseudo etiquette lessons. Oh, and I finally realized that Katie is gone from the cast when they had a flashback. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed.

🍞 Again, not much was going on Sunday night, so I checked out Return to Amish. Rebecca took the test for her GED, but we don’t know if she passed yet. Math really seems to confuse her, but I would assume that the Amish don’t focus a lot on that, especially if you’re female. It’s sad enough that they only think a girl deserves an eighth-grade education, but it’s highly doubtful they encourage any education of females at all, other than cooking and sewing. I was put into advanced math when I was in sixth grade – whether I wanted to be there or not. Although it served me well later in life when I lied finessed my way into accounting jobs after reading Accounting 101. Rebecca also has severe anxiety problems, which explains her reaction, or lack thereof, to many things. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to accomplish this on her own. Even though she had a tutor, she had to be the one to get herself through the process. Jeremiah and Carmella were on the outs at the start of the episode, but had reconciled by the end. Carmella had taken her kids and gone back to Washington, saying that the situation was toxic, and Jeremiah was controlling. This struck me as odd, since they had just started IVF treatments, and Jeremiah was doing a load of work on their new house. Then Jeremiah mentioned Carmella’s hormone treatments, and I was like, ohhh. Her growing up in a cult doesn’t help anything either. We also got Abe’s story this week. While he sometimes seems kitty whipped by Rebecca, I kind of like how he always has her back. He also seems like a great father – we saw a lot of scenes with him and the kids. Of course Mary being his mother makes him a lucky guy, although it was dicey at first when he decided to leave the tribe. Mary told him that it would break her heart, since he’d be shunned, but it looks like they’ve gotten around that. Next time, it’s the season finale (sniff), and the gang heads to Las Vegas, where Mary is going to do what she jolly well pleases. Which I’m sure involves gambling and drinking.

Every man must live with the man he makes of himself. – Amish Proverb

Find Out About Turquoise Here:

http://www.turquoiseguide.com/articles/turquoise/turquoise-basics/name.htm

KittyTurquoise

 

May27

May 26, 2017 – The Nurses Ball Grand Finale, Quotes in Quadruplicate & Memorial Day Musings

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Amy 2.0 hunts down Nathan at Kelly’s. She thanks him for coming to her rescue. He says he didn’t do anything, and compliments her on her vocal talent. She says he did more than he knows.

Lulu sees Valentin and Nina together with Charlotte. She tells Laura that Valentin sings one stupid song, and they’re a happy family again. Laura tells her not to ruin the night. Thank you.

Valentin asks Charlotte which song she liked best, and she says all of them. Nina says she liked Kiki and Dillon’s song best, but Charlotte tells Valentin she’s teasing. Charlotte goes off with the other kids. Nina says it was a rocky start, but a strong finish. Anna watches them.

Andre tells Anna not to do anything rash where Valentin is concerned. She says she may not have a choice.

Jake wants to do his magic act. Elizabeth suggests they do it tomorrow, but he says it has to be now. She asks Lucy to help explain that the ball is over, but Lucy says they still have the room for a while. Jake and the other kids are like, pleeeease? and Jason walks in.

Ava says she doesn’t suppose Sonny and Carly are in the market for some art. Carly says they know what she did to their son.

Amy tells Nathan not every guy would have stepped up to escort her in. Nathan says it wasn’t anything. She thanks him again, and asks if he’s talked to Maxie. He says he tried, but she had a business thing to go to. Amy says Maxie is easily distracted. She talks about how Nathan makes it work, but Maxie doesn’t make much of an effort.

Andre tells Anna that Valentin isn’t entirely innocent, but Anna says he’s not guilty either. Andre asks why she’s always defending him, and she says what other choice did he have? Returning the Chimera to the WSB wasn’t an option; they’d probably have shot him. She says he was desperate and running for his life. Having such a distinctive look, he could have easily been picked off by the WSB. Helena was despicable, but also filthy rich. Anna doesn’t believe Valentin thought Helena would ever activate it, but just use it as leverage, and he was right; she died before using it. Anna says Robert, Frisco, and the WSB are searching and clearing the island, but there’s no guarantee that she left it there.

Valentin says Nina is pulling away again, and asks if it’s Anna. She asks when isn’t it Anna?

Jason asks if Jake changed his mind, and Jake says his mom doesn’t like it. Elizabeth tells Jason that it’s late, and Jake has this tone in his voice; he sounds intense like it’s crucial, and she has a weird feeling. Franco says the Chimera has nothing to do with the magic act, which shows how little he knows. Jason says keep it short; what harm can it do? Emma thinks it’s not looking good for an okay, but Jake says he’s going to finish this tonight.

Ava says she doesn’t know what Sonny and Carly are talking about, and she’s calling the cops. Carly says please do, but Ava doesn’t know what they must have been told. Carly wants to know why, and how could she? She says Lucy told them everything. Ava claims that she and Morgan were back together at the end, so she covered it up. Carly says Morgan died, and it’s on her. Sonny says she tampered with his medication, and Carly adds that she replaced the lithium with placebos, and sabotaged him because of Kiki.

Nathan and Amy have coffee. He says it would be one thing just living across the country, but Maxie is with her daughter and her daughter’s father. Amy says if he really wants her, fight for her

Jason says it’s Elizabeth’s call. She says fine, but if there’s a hint of a problem, they shut it down.

Andre tells Anna that he’s an armchair archaeologist, and knows what a chimera is. He thinks it’s a strange name for bio-toxin, and Anna tells him it’s a hybrid of several different strains and extremely contagious. If it’s released, it will spread like wildfire.

Nina tells Valentin that she knows they’re back on track, and she’s starting to believe him. Charlotte runs in, saying Jake is going to do his magic show, and asks to stay. Valentin says all right, and Nina agrees.

Lucy thanks Laura. They awkwardly almost hug, and end up fist bumping, and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Lulu tells Laura that Jake wants to do his magic act with the birthday gift that Spencer sent to him. Laura says that didn’t happen.

Ava says it was Sonny who was responsible for Morgan’s death. Sonny wants to know what she did and why. Carly says Ava pushed Morgan into a downward spiral to get him away from Kiki. Ava says she wasn’t jealous; she wanted Kiki to be happy. Morgan was sick, and it wreaked havoc with Kiki’s life. She brings up all the dangerous situations that Morgan had put Kiki in, and asks what mother wouldn’t protect her child? Carly tells her that it was Kiki’s choice, but Ava says a mother knows best, and she knew Kiki would be happier, and so would Morgan, if he could let her go. Sonny says she decided to move it along by changing his medication to fake pills, and Ava says she was just protecting her daughter. Carly tells her that she always hides behinds her kids, but it doesn’t absolve her from the choices she’s made, like killing Connie, sleeping with Morgan, and messing with the pills. She tells Ava to own it for once. Sonny tells her to admit that she’s the reason Morgan spun out of control. He screams at her to say it, and she finally says that she did it

Nathan says it’s Amy’s turn to spill her guts. She says there’s nothing to spill. She tells him that there is a guy that she’s liked since high school. She asks if it’s pathetic, and Nathan says she’s committed. I’m thinking she’s probably a size 2, even though she’s supposed to be the “fat” girl. I saw Kathy Brier (Marcie from One Life to Live) in Hairspray on Broadway, and met her afterward. She’s about half my size, and I’m not all that big. I figure I’d take up the entire screen.

Ava says what now, adding that she’s been tortured every moment since. Carly asks if she can imagine what it was like for Morgan. He finally got control, until she rigged the game. She stole his victory from him, and he blamed himself. Sonny and Carly recite things from his journal, like how he couldn’t understand what was happening, and his parents will be disappointed. Carly thought she’d never hate anyone like she did Olivia-J, but she tells Ava that she was wrong.

Laura tells Lulu that Spencer wants to give Jake his present in person, and never mentioned a magic set. Lulu says she doesn’t think she misunderstood.

Charlotte and Emma introduce the Wizard of Awesome – Jake. Charlotte sneezes, and Jake presents lots of handkerchiefs from his pocket. Franco says there’s nothing to worry about, and Elizabeth tells him to say that when it’s over. The girls bring up the box. Jake taps on the box with his magic wand. He sees Helena, who tells him to let the grand finale begin.

Nathan asks Amy about the reunion planning. Amy says she and Dillon have come up with some good ideas. He hopes Maxie can go. He realizes Amy doesn’t like her, but Amy says she knows Nathan does. He tells Amy that Maxie isn’t evil, and Amy says she’s just selfish, like Daisy from The Great Gatsby, and makes comparisons, ending with how she breaks Gatsby’s heart.

Helena makes an okay sign. Elizabeth asks if Jake is okay, since he’s staring off in the distance, and tells him that he can stop. Helena says, you know what you want, and he says he wants to finish. Andre’s phone rings, and he has to leave. Laura looks awful. She can’t stop thinking about Spencer, and has bad feeling, although she’s not sure why. She tells Jason there’s something he should know that could mean something. Spencer didn’t send the magic set, and nobody knows who did.

Ava tells Sonny and Carly that she didn’t want this to happen; she thought it was harmless. Sonny asks in what universe? She says that she thought someone would notice and send him back to the hospital. Sonny says she made it impossible for him to get help; even if he hadn’t died, he wouldn’t have known the pills weren’t real. The doctor would have upped the dosage, and he would have wandered around in a drug induced haze. Carly calls her an evil, horrible person who seduced her son, and when he was finally free of her, she did this to him, someone she supposedly loved. Ava says they can’t make her feel worse than she does already, and Sonny says he doesn’t know about that. She says she cared deeply for Morgan, and was devastated when he died; the guilt was overwhelming. Carly says she persevered – bravo. (Well, actually, that should be brava in this case.)  Carly says that Morgan is dead because of what she set in motion, and it wasn’t a mistake like with her sister. Ava says that he wasn’t supposed to die, and Carly says, but he did, and she has to live with that. Both she and Carly have raccoon eyes.

Amy tells Nathan she’s sorry that she brought up Maxie; Maxie isn’t a flapper, and he’s not a bootlegger. She asks him to watch her stuff while she goes to ladies room. When she’s gone, a guy thanks Nathan for his advice. When he leaves, a woman appears, telling Nathan that he helped her face the truth – Man Landers to the rescue. Nathan is like wth? When Amy returns, he asks when he became Ask Man Landers? He shows her an advice column on his phone that has his picture at the top.

Sonny says he should have killed Ava, and his son would still be alive. Ava says she’s sorry, but Sonny says she doesn’t get to rob Morgan of his life, and rob him and Carly of Morgan, and say sorry. She says she’ll feel how she feels, and Sonny wonders how Avery is going to feel when she finds out, since she loved her big brother. Kiki knows she’s a monster, and now they have more proof. Ava says as punishment, they’re going to turn her daughters against her, but they’ll be the only ones hurt. Sonny says that the truth will set them free. He’s telling whole world, even if he has to sky write it. Carly says Ava is going to pay, and Sonny says if she’s lucky, after everyone has spit on her and turned their backs, he’ll put her out of her misery. Creepy Sonny.

Jason asks if Laura is sure. She says it’s probably nothing, but thought he should know. He starts to say maybe… but doesn’t finish. He flashes back to Helena saying as good as he is, Jake will be… Laura asks if he’s remembering something. Helena tells Jake that it’s time.

Jake says, now, the final trick that none of them could have ever imagined. Helena says it’s the greatest trick of all, and Jake repeats her words. He opens the box. Jason remembers Helena saying that as good as Jason is, Jake will be the greatest killer of them all. Jason tells Jake to stop.

Amy wonders what Nathan is talking about. Nathan tells her about the people who just approached him, and Amy slips, saying that he did some good. Nathan says he recognized the picture in the column from the card that she stole. Amy prefers the word borrowed, and he realizes that this is what she meant when she said helped more than knew. He asks why she’s pretending her advice is his?

Ava says she assumes they’re done here, but Carly says no. She wants to know if it was fun ruining her son’s life, turning him into someone they didn’t recognize, and that he didn’t either; someone he didn’t want to be. He was scared and confused, blaming himself. Carly will never forgive her. Ava says she doesn’t expect her to. Carly tells her to stop with the sorry business. She picked on a kid. Why doesn’t she mess with someone her own size? Ava throws the lantern to the ground, and it explodes in a ball of fire. Carly falls down, unconscious.

Jason tells Jake that it’s time to shut things down; it’s late and they need to go home. Jake sees Helena waiting. Anna comes up to Jason, and Jake holds up the Chimera. Valentin recognizes it, and gets up. Helena says bravo (which is correct this time), and Jake pushes the button, lighting it up. They all freeze.

On Monday, an encore of the “Good-by to Tracy” espisode. On Tuesday, Amy offers to help save Nathan’s marriage, Helena tells Jake to do what he was born to do, and Ava says they’re not going anywhere.

Quotes of the Week

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story.  – Cheryl Strayed

I learned to always take on things I’d never done before. Growth and comfort do not coexist. – Virginia Rometty

Maybe we are another planet’s hell. – Aldous Huxley

That’s not funny.  * No, it’s not, but I’m going to keep drinking until it is. – from This Christmas – I wasn’t looking at the TV, so I don’t know which characters said it, but it was too funny not to write down.

Things to Ponder…

Who just tries the door and walks right in when someone doesn’t answer? Why do Lifetime movies suck you in with a good plot, and then give you a disappointing ending? Even worse, why do I fall for it every time?

Unicorn Rainbows

Unicorn food reminds me of my first job in NYC. I came to work hungover after celebrating…something. It was donut day. They were green and orange. Enough said.

 UnicornScoot

And Remember Why You Get a Day Off
Me·mo·ri·al Day
məˈmôrēəl ˌdā/
noun
a day on which those who died in active military service are remembered, traditionally observed on May 30 but now officially observed on the last Monday in May.
MemorialDay4

 

May26

May 25, 2017 – Ava is Between Sonny and a Hard Place, a Little Real Estate, a Little Decorating & Some Potomac

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Griff tells Jason that the chimera necklace used to belong to Anna’s sister, and Anna came into possession of it. Jason doesn’t think it’s a coincidence, and that it has to mean something.

Dillon gets a text from Kiki. He wishes she was there.

Nina looks around for Valentin. He’s being harangued by Anna, who asks what he was thinking, selling the Chimera to Helena. (Just in case you’re confused, the word “chimera” isn’t normally capitalized, but I use caps when referring to the WSB project.)

Charlotte tells Emma that maybe the lights are part of the magic trick.

Lucy tells Ava that she needs to present the donation she was blackmailed out of. Ha-ha! At least Lucy is honest about it.

Sonny tells Carly that somebody tampered with Morgan’s medication.

Ned and Olivia-F arrive. She says she kept trying to put her dress on, but he kept trying to take it off, and now they’re late. She thinks they’re too late to even go in, but Ned says she just has stage fright. He calls her his star, and says she’ll be great.

Curtis and Jordan toast. He says he’s glad he planned ahead; he got a room for the night.

Ava says she’s not making the donation in Morgan’s name. Lucy says she has dead air to fill, since Jake isn’t doing his magic act, and Ava is it, but Ava doesn’t want to call attention to herself.

Sonny explains to Carly about the residue from the placebo in Morgan’s pill bottle. He tells Carly that when Morgan said he was taking the medication, he was.

Valentin tells Anna that he was running for his life; he’d stolen classified material – for her. He needed money to pay for his surgeries, and to change his identity, and it gave him perverse pleasure that Helena would be footing the bill. Now she’s dead, and the Chimera isn’t of use to anyone.

Charlotte starts to open the Chimera martini shaker, and Jake stops her, asking what she’s doing.

Ned and Olivia perform Gotta Have Faith, with a jukebox and a 50s vibe. Olivia’s voice is probably one of the best. Why hasn’t she performed before? Love her white cropped jeans with floral patterned heels too. Very nice! After the kudos for their performance, Dillon says he’s glad they came, since he was feeling like the new guy in the cafeteria.

Jordan tells Curtis that they haven’t even discussed what they are yet. He says he can cancel the room, but she says that’s not the point. Curtis says she still doesn’t think he’s good enough for her.

Anna says Valentin could have pointed the WSB in Helena’s direction through an anonymous source. He says after Helena’s death, it was irrelevant, and Anna says nothing is irrelevant. He says he owns Cassadine Island, and gives her permission to search the island, dig up the device, and destroy it. Right now, he’s finding his wife.

Jake says no one is doing his act, and grabs the Chimera back, pushing Charlotte away. Nina asks what’s going on, and Charlotte runs to her. Jake says they shouldn’t have touched it. Lulu comes in and asks what’s going on. Mom Déjà vu.

Anna asks Robert to call her back. She thinks she knows where “the product” is. She asks Andre how much he knows about the Chimera Project, and Elizabeth overhears.

Carly wonders how Morgan’s prescription bottle got to The Floating Rib. Sonny tells her that Lucy was there with Ava that night.

Curtis tells Jordan that he thought things had changed, but there’s no way to prove himself. Jordan says that she sees Thomas when she looks in his eyes. A part of her believes that if she got with Curtis, she’d be betraying Thomas all over again.

Jason asks Anna if it’s her necklace. She says yes, and he asks about the significance. She says no one has clearance to hear anything about it, except kinda, sorta Andre. Jason tells her all about the chimera images that have cropped up, and asks what’s going on. Andre encourages Anna to tell them. She says the Chimera Project is a bio-toxin developed by the WSB, that was illegally sold to Helena. She wonders if Jake saw the symbol on the island. Jason asks where it is now, and Anna says they’re trying to determine that.

Nina comforts Charlotte, telling Lulu it was just a kid spat, and Charlotte is fine. Lulu gets snarky with Nina, saying it’s not her call anymore. Valentin comes in, doing that talking to Charlotte in French thing that I love. He asks if she and Emma like cake, and suggests they go order some, and he’ll be right there. Lulu asks Jake if he’s okay, and says his mom is looking for him. Valentin asks if there’s a problem, and she says none at all. She leaves, and Valentin asks Nina if Lulu was horrible to her, but Nina says just territorial. Nina tells Valentin that his song meant the world to her. He says it was all worth it then.

Sonny hustles Lucy into the hallway. She says she has to get back to hosting the show. He asks what she was doing at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Carly wants to know why she was with Ava. Lucy says she was hoping they wouldn’t have to find this out, but Ava and Morgan were sleeping together again. That’s how Ava ended up with the pills. Sonny is surprised, and Lucy says she caught Ava throwing them away, and pulled them out of the trash. Carly asks when, and Lucy tells her in late October. Sonny says it was after Morgan died. Lucy says she wanted to tell them, but Ava convinced her they’d suffered enough. Sonny says none of this is her fault, and she jets. Carly says it was Ava all along.

Ava goes over her speech. Scotty runs in, and tells her that she has to get out. Sonny knows everything.

Dillon looks for his partner, Deanna, but Kiki shows up instead. She and Dillon go on stage. They perform Modern Love. With lots of back-up dancers.

Nina says she didn’t know Valentin could sing, and he says only for her. He wants to do what it takes to get her to trust him. She says they’ll see how the night goes, and take it from there. They walk off hand in hand. Yay!

Dillon asks Kiki what she’s doing there. She says Deanna covered for her at the hospital. She didn’t want to miss the – Burt’s Bees plug – gift bag. He says he’ll go back with her, and they can watch the end of the show together.

Curtis says Jordan is a good person, but if she can’t get past it, he understands. He gives her the room key and says no pressure, but if she changes her mind, he’ll be waiting. If she’s not there by ten, he’ll figure she’s not interested.

Carly tells Sonny that no way Morgan started up with Ava again. Sonny says she was only covering for having the pills. Carly sees Dillon and Kiki, and tells Sonny that Ava wanted Morgan away from Kiki. Sonny says she drove him to a breakdown.

Scotty tells Ava that she has to get out of town fast. Sonny and Carly start looking for her.

Lucy – in a black dress with faux gems at the neckline and sparkles all over – thanks everyone, and introduces Ava to present her donation, but Ava is MIA. Sonny tells Carly that she knows. Lucy says check will clear no matter what, so give her a big hand.

Sonny grabs Scotty and asks where Ava is. Kiki and Dillon see Ava leaving the building. Ava asks what Kiki doing there. Kiki is surprised that she didn’t see them perform, and asks why Ava is leaving. Ava says there’s a minor emergency at the gallery. She tells Kiki that she couldn’t be prouder of the woman Kiki is becoming, and is relieved she’s happy; it’s all she wanted for her. Kiki says sounds like she’s never going to see her again. They hug. Ava is wearing the best silver/grey glitter eye shadow, and I wish I could pull that off.

Jake puts the Chimera back in the box. Helena appears, calling him “little man,” and says she’s disappointed in him. He didn’t keep his end of the bargain. If she’s just an illusion in his head, at least he dressed her properly for the occasion – she’s wearing gold lame.

Curtis waits, watching TV. He figures Jordan isn’t coming, but when he opens the door, she’s there.

Sonny tells Scotty that Ava killed their son. Carly says she screwed with his pills, and Scotty says that’s crazy talk. He says Ava doesn’t want trouble, and she’s going to disappear for good.

Wherever she is, Ava can’t get the elevator to work. The electricity is out, and she lights a lantern that’s conveniently right there.

Elizabeth asks Jason what if Jake doesn’t get past it? Jason says they won’t let it happen. Franco says none of them will.

Helena tells Jake not to listen to his mother. If it wasn’t for her, he’d be dead. She tells him that he has to perform his magic act, and make all of Port Charles disappear.

Ava finds the bag she stashed. She checks the contents, pulling out a passport and a wad of cash.

Scotty tells Dante that Sonny attacked him, and he wants to file a complaint. Dante leaves with him. Lucy says the time has come for the finale. She thanks everyone, along with – one last plug – Burt’s Bees. She’s wearing an off-the-shoulder white brocade gown that’s just lovely. She welcomes back the nurses, along with a special guest. The stage is lit with electric candles, and Epiphany begins Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. I love Epiphany. She’s fabulous in general, but she’s rocking this song. Robin drops in on video, explaining why she’s not there. She’s expecting her second child, and says that’s how far we’ve come. She didn’t think she’d even be alive at this point, but thanks to research, dedication, and donations, she’s alive, and they’ll find a cure. The song resumes. Everyone has a candle, including the guests.

Kiki and Dillon watch from the hospital TV. Curtis and Jordan get busy. Ava packs a gun. Uh-oh. Sonny and Carly walk in. I’d shoot them both and run.

At the end of the song, everybody raises their candles.

Jake comes back into the ballroom. He tells Elizabeth that he’s ready to do his magic trick now. You’re a little late, kid.

On Monday, Laura tells Lulu that it didn’t happen, Carly shakes down Ava, and Elizabeth tells Jason there’s a problem.

🏙 Million Dollar Listing New York is back for another season. Ryan has a beard, and Amelia’s sister has moved in with them. Frederik says the house in Connecticut has been life-changing, and he’s started to go to church, but wants us to know that when it comes to business, he’s still fierce. Luis has moved on from real estate, and new guy, Steve, used to be a model. Frederik wants Steve to work for him, and Steve says, love you, but not that much. Steve also has a rescue pup from Georgia. The highlight for me was a property in Brooklyn that Ryan sold. It was built in 1905, and I nearly cried over it. The house had all kinds of interesting built-ins, a footbath in the bathroom, and a bathtub in a closet. And did I mention that it was 10,000 square feet? I wouldn’t want to clean it, but I wouldn’t mind owning it. If I could afford that, I could afford to have someone else clean it. I was surprised to find out that Frederik has a boss, since I’d thought he worked on his own. I like Frederik a lot, but I wish he’d stop with the juvenile noises and high kicks. We’re both getting too old for that. Glad to see the NYC realtors back. If I can’t have it, I can at least look at it.

🏯 Cyrus vs Cyrus: Design and Conquer premiered tonight. Among their many talents, Miley’s sisters are interior designers. I’m not sure if I can watch two women who are wearing Miley’s face. I don’t even want to see Miley’s face on Miley. They do some beautiful work, but apparently have never heard of Wayfair. Nobody needs to be spending $400 for a pouf. When the children of the redesigned home were asked what their favorite thing was, one little girl said, “the camera,” which says it all about the upcoming generation.

🏛 I dropped in on The Real Housewives of Potomac last night, since I’d only half-watched the episode last Sunday. I’m not really sure what to say about these women. For a bunch of people who pretend to be so sophisticated, they’re about as far from it as oil is to water. Robyn and Gizelle showed up at Ashley’s restaurant to confront her about some slight, and Robyn kept shoving her finger in Ashley’s face during her tirade. She looked like an amazon next to Ashley, and actually had to point down to get her hand to Ashley’s head. To her credit, Ashley maintained her composure, but I would have smacked Robyn’s hand so hard, she would have hit herself in the face. I’d never even heard of any of these women before the show, and I’m not sure where their sense of entitlement comes from. Especially Robyn, who can’t even figure out if she’s married or divorced. Charisse also acted like a complete ass, looking up in the air and ignoring her when Ashley tried to be polite at an event they were all attending. She’s also an indecisive one when it comes to her marriage, and I had to laugh when her husband finally filed for divorce. I’m hoping she gets less than nothing, since she was only their to suck his finances dry anyway. Gizelle might be beautiful, but she’s another embarrassment. When newcomer Monique held her phone out to get Gizelle’s phone number, Gizelle acted like this was some huge faux pas, and refused to take the phone, saying maybe some other time. How about never? Is never good for you? Oddly enough, Karen was the only one who came out looking good in this episode. Sadly, because she gave a talk about having been raped. While I might wish a lot of horrible things on this bunch, that’s something I wish on no one.

MillionDollarListingSteve&Dog

Steve Gold and pup Pablo