What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Breaking News – traffic is backed up and there are delays on the road. Because of the July 4^th weekend. Thanks. I wouldn’t have guessed.

On her phone in a waiting room, Alexis looks at the death notice for Neil’s daughter. Neil walks Kristina out of his office. Neil says Alexis is early, and she says she was in the neighborhood. A client canceled. She didn’t know it was Kristina’s normal appointment time, but if Kristina is concerned, Alexis didn’t hear anything. Kristina says, it’s fine. Alexis says it’s nice see her anyway; she’s barely seen Kristina lately. Kristina says Julian has been giving her extra shifts, and she’s taking baby steps to rebuild her social life. Alexis hopes Kristina isn’t avoiding her because of the Pledge. That’s not what’s happening, is it?

On the phone with Carly, Sonny says Gladys will be there soon, and they can stop worrying about Dev getting deported. Carly says Dev thinks he’s trying to be helpful, and Sonny asks if he’s still overselling the humble bit. Carly says she can relate. Sonny says he’ll feel more secure soon, and Carly says, let her know how it goes. Josslyn comes in, and asks, how what goes?

Franco and Elizabeth are at Charlie’s, when Laura comes in with Cameron. She thanks him for setting up the tables for 4^th of July. If not for him, the people would have no place to eat. He says, it beats picking up garbage. Franco says there’s going be plenty after the 4^th. Elizabeth says, speaking of community service, Cameron’s day off was approved. Franco says he can come to the reception, and bring a date if he wants to.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny is working on something she may or may not need know about. She asks Josslyn to cut up celery and carrot sticks for Avery. Maybe Dev could help her. Dev says he’s practically an expert. Josslyn takes the vegetables out of the refrigerator, and Dev says she’s still mad at him, isn’t she?

At the hospital, Scotty tells Bobbie that she doesn’t have to do any of this alone. She says, that’s sweet but… He says there was a time when they were more than just friends, not that long ago. He was thinking they can recapture that. He tells her, think about it this way. They’re in an RV, going down the road; potholes, flat tires, and everything that goes with that. All she has to do is just say yes. Will she marry him? She says she’s not dying. She doesn’t want a pity proposal. He says, it’s not like that. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. She asks, since when? and he says, the hell with it. What does she say? Let’s go get hitched.

Kristina says she’s not avoiding Alexis, although she still feels guilty for what she shared with Shiloh. Alexis says Shiloh manipulated her, and not to feel guilty. It might make Kristina feel better to tell her what she told Shiloh. Kristina says she doesn’t think it’s necessary, and Alexis says, no pressure. Kristina thinks Sam is right. She should put the guilt behind her, and let it go for good. Alexis says, Sam is a smart gal; she agrees. Kristina has to get going, and hugs Alexis.

Bobbie asks if Scotty wants a reference for Shadybrook. He’s clearly lost his mind. He says he hasn’t. Finally, things are starting to make real sense. She tells him, that’s what people say who are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He says he’s been doing some soul searching. They go way back. She says she goes way back with a lot of her friends. That doesn’t mean she wants to run off to the chapel with them. He says they’ve had so many stops and starts. They’d be fools not to make a real go of it. They’ve been chasing crazy, wild love, but it’s not sustainable. They should invest in something concrete. She says he makes it sound more like a business transaction than a marriage proposal. He asks if she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life with someone comfortable, like an old, well-worn shoe. She says, no. He did not just compare her to an old shoe.

Cameron says he doesn’t think he’ll be bringing a date to the reception. Franco says, it doesn’t have to be a date date. Maybe a friend. Cameron says, it’s a family party. It’s not like everyone in school is dying to come. Laura thinks she should get Cameron fed, and they go to order. Elizabeth tells Franco that she’s sure Cameron didn’t mean anything by that, but Franco is sure he did.

Cameron suggests they order a bunch of appetizers. Laura says, first, she’d like to know what’s going on with him.

Josslyn tells Dev that he’s not doing it right. He asks how hard carrot sticks can be, and she says, Avery is a connoisseur. She won’t eat them if they’re too big or too small. Dev says she can do it then, pushing the carrots toward her. She says, yes. She’s still mad at him. He says he never would have guessed. She says the more she thinks about what he said, the madder she gets. He says, stop thinking about it then. She says, too late. He says he’s sorry her boyfriend died. Maybe she’s right. Maybe his spirit is reaching out. She says he doesn’t believe that. He says, no, he doesn’t.

Gladys arrives, and Sonny says he appreciates her coming. She says he can show his appreciation by cutting to the chase. She hasn’t seen Mike in ages. His mom used to send Christmas cards, and there were some Corbin get togethers, but those were decades ago. And all of a sudden Mike’s son wants to meet with her. Why? It’s about her son. She says he was killed in the war in 2003; Operation Iraqi Freedom. Sonny is sorry, and she thanks him. She says that was the last time she heard from Sonny’s old man; he sent a lovely note. Sonny says, Mike has Alzheimer’s. His memory is fading quickly. She’s sorry to hear that. She doesn’t want to sound insensitive, but he didn’t come all this way to share his sorrows. Why is he really there, and what does it have to do with her son?

Dev tells Josslyn, that’s the great thing about America; everyone thinks what they want. She can believe she’s getting messages from the afterlife, and he can believe Oscar is gone. Josslyn wonders how this turned into a patriotic explanation, and Dev says he’s pointing out the freedoms she takes for granted. Carly comes back, and tells them, Sonny got hung up. They’re on their own for 4^th of July. Since he was going to grill, that means ordering out. Josslyn suggests Angelo’s. They’re organic, and Carly has to eat healthy. Carly asks Dev to do her a favor, and help Max close the boat house. She’ll finish up there. He leaves, and Carly says, it seems a little tense. Josslyn says, he’s annoying. Carly knows Dev was a surprise, and Josslyn says she’d like to know the plan. Dev is there illegally. What are they supposed to do about that?

Franco tells Elizabeth that he can’t figure out where he stands with Cameron. One minute, they have a connection, and the next, it’s like Cameron is allergic to him. It’s exhausting. Elizabeth tells him, welcome to parenting a teenager. She’ll see if she can get Cameron to lighten up; he’s going through a lot right now. Franco says he has to go, and asks her to tell Cameron, see you.

Laura asks Cameron, does he mind if she makes an observation? Cameron says, sure, and she says, this morning, he was pleasant with his mom, but just now, he was short. She’s guessing the X-factor is Franco. Cameron says Franco is his stepdad, but he doesn’t have to be happy about it. Laura says it’s understandable that Cameron would be cautions, given Franco’s history, but he should judge. Cameron says Franco judges him too, and knows nothing about him. Laura says there’s no doubt Franco has made mistakes, but Cameron needs to ask himself what good it is to hang on to resentment. In pulling away from Franco, he’s pulling away from his family. He says he loves his mother and brothers, but Franco is temporary. She says, there it is. She knows why he’s having a hard time accepting Franco as a father figure. He’s had a lot of them come into his life, and they let him down.

Scotty tells Bobbie, that’s not what he meant. It was a compliment. She says, just what every woman wants to hear. He says, let him explain. He’s been chasing the action so long, and suddenly the end of the road is looking closer than the beginning. Bobbie asks if he’s afraid of dying. He says, dying is easy. Comedy is tough. She laughs, and he says they’re on same page. She gets his jokes. When she fainted and he brought her there, he was looking at her, and could picture them spending the rest of their lives together. Close friends, confidants; they’re on the same team. She laughs, and says she does think of him sometimes that way, even when he drives her insane. But he’s forgotten one thing in his impromptu proposal. He says, flowers? and she says, he never said he loved her.

Alexis tells Neil that she’s being transparent. She didn’t know Kristina had moved her session. Maybe she’s been seeing Neil more. Neil just looks at her, and she says she gets it; boundaries. Does that mean they can’t talk about Kristina at all? He says they just can’t talk about what he and Kristina discuss in their sessions. She says she could use his input. Kristina has been distant with her. Neil asks if she thinks it has to do with the Pledge. She says if she knew what Kristina told Shiloh, she would be able to assess the situation. Neil says nothing, and she says he’s not taking the bait? He says, not a chance. Maybe they should examine how she feels about Kristina sharing damaging information. Alexis says she almost doesn’t care what Kristina said. She just doesn’t want issues between them. She thinks about what other parents are going through, and knows she’s lucky. She has no reason to complain. She knows some parents who just lost their son to a brain tumor, and has to coordinate the reading of the will. She had to meet with the dad, and he was in so much pain. No one understands the pain involved in losing a kid, but she knows Neil does.

Kristina goes to the jail. She tells a prisoner that she thought it was time she came to see them. It’s Willow.

Sonny tells Gladys that he was hoping for her help with a project he’s working on. She says she’s stopping him there. She’s heard the stories, and seen the headlines. She did her research, and he’s one of the biggest mobsters in New York state. He says, alleged. She doesn’t want to waste either of their time, and asks what business does he have with her son? Sonny says, it’s not with him, but with her grandson. She says, Brando didn’t have a kid. Sonny takes out an envelope, and puts it on the table, saying, he does now.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny is trying to make arrangements for Dev. Josslyn wonders, why go through all that trouble? She gets it. Dev is nice, in an annoying way, but why is Sonny trying to keep him in the country? Carly says, Dev helped Sonny and Dante escape. He’s the reason they came back alive, and Sonny wants to repay the debt. She knows it’s an adjustment. It’s a lot to process, but they’ll figure it out as they go along. She asks Josslyn to make allowances for Dev. He’s in a strange county, alone, trying to keep a step ahead of the authorities. Put herself in his shoes. Josslyn says she can’t, but she’ll try. Carly says they’ll talk more later; she has to go to grandma’s. It will be okay. Josslyn says she’s good.

Scotty tells Bobbie, of course he loves her. That goes without saying. She says, it’s usually something you state when proposing. He says he’ll take it into consideration next time. Doesn’t she love him? She says, sure, as a friend. There have been times when they’ve been more than that, and she thought they’d have a real relationship, but every time they took a stab at it, it was blown apart, disastrously. He says it could be different, but she says not the way she’s looking for. She wants that passionate, epic love that sweeps you off your feet. She deserves more than a comfortable pair of shoes, and so does he. He says she’s right. He doesn’t know what he was thinking. He was out of line. Bobbie says she was having dinner with Carly, but she can reschedule. Does he want to go to Kelly’s? He says, for some rejected proposal dinner? She says she feels like he has a lot on his mind, and she’s there for him. They can talk. He says he’s done enough talking. He’s scooting out, and hanging on to what dignity he has left.

Kristina says Michael told her that Willow was there, and came to see how she’s holding up. Willow says she’s very kind, but Kristina says she at least owes Willow a visit. She owes Willow her life. Willow doesn’t know about that, but Kristina says if Willow hadn’t shared her experience with Shiloh and DOD, she’d probably still be there. Willow is glad she isn’t. DOD is like quicksand. The harder you fight to get away, the deeper you sink. She asks if Michael told Kristina why she’s there. Kristina says, contempt of court, and Willow says Shiloh won’t discover the whereabouts of her son. She can’t let Shiloh find him. Keeping a secret is a different kind of prison; in some ways, worse than a cell. Kristina knows the feeling.

Alexis says she’s just glad her children are healthy. Neil says she told him that he knows the pain of grieving a child. She says he’s a psychiatrist, and she’s sure he’s dealt with grieving parents. He says he’d appreciate an honest answer. She says she knows lost he lost a child. He says he’s ending the session. He can no longer treat her, and tells her, please leave.

Alexis asks, why? He says he made it clear his personal life is off limits. She says she’s sorry she overstepped, and he says she’s repeatedly crossed boundaries. Alexis says it wasn’t her who looked him up; it was her friend. Diane researched him online, and she’s not responsible. She finds their sessions invaluable. He says there’s no point in arguing; leave. She says he’s taking his anger and grief out on her.

Bobbie meets Carly, and tells her about Scotty asking her to marry him. Carly asks if she said no, and Bobbie says, of course (🍷). He basically said they might as well settle for each other, and compared her to a comfortable old shoe. She still believes in finding real lasting love. Carly agrees, but says for someone to find love, they have to be proactive about finding it.

Scotty has a bone to pick with Franco. He says he proposed to Bobbie. By how Scotty looks, Franco is guessing she said no. Scotty says, a hard no. It’s the last time he’s taking Franco’s advice. Franco says, no way he told him to propose to Bobbie, and Scotty asks, what was with the pep talk about the RV? Franco says that was how he was connecting. Scotty asks what’s the matter with him? It got Scotty thinking about the life choices he’s making, none of them good, when saw Bobbie. He thought fate had stepped in and said they belong together.

Laura tells Cameron that they all have problems with their parents from time to time. He asks if she did, and she laughs, saying, yeah. It’s a complicated relationship, and keeps changing a you get older. It’s been quite the journey with Leslie, but she officiated at Laura’s wedding. Cameron doesn’t see that happening with him and Franco. Laura says Cameron has had it rough in the father department. And he’s putting up walls in case it doesn’t work out. Cameron doesn’t know, and thinks Franco’s past is complicated. Laura says he’s absolutely right, but she wants him to put a positive spin on it for his mom. He has good reason not to give Franco the benefit of the doubt, but he’s a part of the family; the only father Aiden remembers. Cameron says he doesn’t say anything bad about Franco in front of Aiden, but Laura says the fact remains that he’s the oldest brother. His brothers look up to him, and like it or not, he leads by example. How he behaves, and the choices he makes, like how he treats Franco, definitely shape what the family is going to be. The reception is a great opportunity for him to put his best foot forward, and show everyone how much he loves his family. Elizabeth approaches, and asks what they ordered. Cameron says he has to do something. He’s thinking of bringing a date to the reception. It might actually be fun. He jets, and Elizabeth is guessing she has Laura to thank for Cameron’s change of heart.

Gladys asks what this is, and Sonny says the start of a series of payments every six months. She says, in exchange for…? He says some people will be coming by her house. She asks, what kind of people? and he says government officials. They’ll be asking questions about details she needs to confirm. She says, like what? He says her son married a woman in Iraq, brought her back to the United States, and she died giving birth to Gladys’s grandson. want her to tell cover story boy thre illegally pushes env back not thick enough

Alexis says Neil’s daughter’s name was Joanna, right? He says, yes, and she says she doesn’t know the details, and it’s none of her business. She’s very sorry for his loss, but she can see his grief is fresh, and he’s taking it out on her. He says, that’s not what happened, but she asks if it’s that hard to be in the same room with someone who knows what he lost. He says she’s not a professional, and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He’ll refer her to a colleague so she can continue treatment. She says, that won’t be necessary. Whoever he sends her to will know something about him, and she wouldn’t want to cross anymore boundaries.

Scotty tells Franco that he made fool of himself with his oldest friend. Franco is proud Scotty gave it a shot, but Scotty says he failed horribly. Franco says maybe he’s looking in the wrong direction. Scotty says, not another pep talk, and Franco says, a little. If he’s looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with, he should stop looking backward, and look around now. Scotty says every once in a while he peeks back, and when he does, he sees Bobbie. Franco says, maybe she’s the one for him, but he should ask her for coffee, not the rest of her life.

Carly agrees that Bobbie deserves real love, but she won’t find it unless she puts herself out there, and takes a chance. Bobbie says she makes it sound easy. Carly says, it’s not, but the best things are always hard to get. She might meet someone new, or maybe there’s someone she’s taken for granted, who means more to her than she realizes. The first part is showing up, and taking a chance.

Gladys says Sonny is asking her to lie to the authorities. That’s perjury, and if it all falls apart, not only does the kid get deported, but she’ll do hard time. He has to make it worth her while. He takes out more money, and says she’ll get the same amount every six months. She reaches for the envelope, and he puts his hand on it. He says she did her homework, and knows what happens to people when they double-cross him.

Neil looks at Alexis’s folder. Kristina pops her head in, and says, good; he’s still there. He asks what she’s doing there, and she says she wanted to speak with him together with Alexis. She wants to talk about the Pledge she gave Shiloh.

Back at the hospital, Carly tells Bobbie they have to hurry; the kids are starving. Scotty comes out of the elevator, and she says she’ll order online, and leaves. Scotty apologizes to Bobbie for the proposal; it was silly, out of line, and wrong. Bobbie says, it was, but it’s not like she hasn’t acted on impulse. He doesn’t want jeopardize their friendship, and she says, her neither. He asks if she’s going to the reception. She says she is, and he suggests they go together. She says she’d like that, and he says, they’ll make it a date. Overhearing them, Carly smiles.

Elizabeth says she had the feeling Cameron was making an effort just now, and Laura agrees. Elizabeth thanks her for working her magic. Laura says, no magic. The magic is Cameron. He’s a great kid, which is a credit to Elizabeth. Elizabeth takes Laura’s hand.

Josslyn tells Dev, driving a car is nothing like driving a boat. He thinks it would be easier; less chance of collision. He eats one of the carrot sticks, and she tells him not to take too many. They’re for her mom and Avery. She breaks one in half, and gives half to him. He says he’s stunned by her generosity. Cameron comes by, and she tells him to make a sandwich. Make twelve, just don’t touch the crudités. Cameron says she’s angry, but she says, not at him. He was wondering if she’s not doing anything tomorrow, would she go with him to the reception? Dev smiles, mixing me up, since I thought he might be interested in Josslyn.

Gladys takes the money, and says Sonny’s got himself a deal. Does her grandson have a name? He says she’ll have all the details by the time they come. Hold up her end of the deal, and he’ll take care of the rest.

On Friday, Zahra asks if Shiloh’s goal is to reclaim his , or the child’s mother; Kristina tells Neil that if she doesn’t talk about the Pledge now, she never will; Sonny tells Brick that he needs protection for a friend; and Jason says Harmony owes Willow the truth about how her father died.

Southern Charm

Shep puts a crate together. Cameran arrives. Seeing a pair of black thigh-highs in his living room, she asks why he has hooker boots. He says, she’s not a hooker, just a friend. Cameron doesn’t know what to say anymore. He asks if she’s ready get on the road. She asks if he got potty pads, and points out that what he got is reusable. It’s like a mom using cloth diapers. I’m not sure why she’s against these pads, but then again, she probably figures he’d never wash it. In her interview, she says, puppies are like babies. If Shep treats the new puppy like he does women, the puppy is going to be looking for a new home within five days. Shep says, his last hours of freedom.

Austen meets Chelsea for fishing. He has live bait, but she says she’s never fished with worms in saltwater, which makes total sense, even though I don’t fish. In Chelsea’s interview, she says she was born and raised in the low country near the water. She was taught to spearfish before she could walk. She should have known better than to rely on Austen for bringing gear. She asks how the trip to Nashville was, and he says Craig and Shep wanted to get him out of town, but had a selfish agenda. She asks what happened with Shep calling Madison white trash? He says Madison wishes he’d punched Shep in the mouth. Chelsea says, that’s what her boyfriend would have done. As women, we love our men to stick up for us.

Cameran says Madison told her to tell Shep eff you when she found out they were traveling together. She said he called her a white trash hairdresser. He says he did. He doesn’t hate her, but doesn’t like the way she behaved in the relationship. She says his words were kind of strong, and he says, sometimes he says bad things about people, but not to their face. I guess that makes it okay? In Cameran’s interview, she says when someone feels entitled, they feel like they’re above fixing themselves, but she couldn’t be friends with Shep if she didn’t believe he had a good heart. He’s just troubled. He says he doesn’t want be around rednecks, and she says, one of his best friends is choosing to date her. He says, not anymore; there’s no love lost.

Chelsea tells Austen that he lets Shep get away with sh*t. He was pissed when Shep tried to kiss her. We flash back to that, and Austen says Shep has a silver tongue. Their relationship seems shallow at times, but he’s been a great friend. Chelsea asks, in what way? but Austen doesn’t know, and stumbles over his words. She says, they drink together. There’s so much potential in Austen; more than the friends he’s hanging out with. Has he thought about surrounding himself with people who aren’t a bad influence, and won’t be dragging him to bars? He thinks she’s right. It’s made him realize a lot of things. He misses Madison. Chelsea asks, what’s going on? and he says they aren’t together. She says, to be in a healthy relationship, he can’t be partying non-stop. Madison is waiting for him to step up to the plate. He says he never had someone he wanted to do that for.

Orangeburg, South Carolina. Shep tells Cameran he feels like he’s about to meet someone he likes a lot, and he’s nervous. They go into the house, and oooooooh! Puppies! Tiny French bulldogs everywhere. Cameran asks how many were in the litter, and breeder Samantha says, seven. Cameran thinks there’s nothing cuter, and picks one up. Samantha says, time to meet Craig. He knows his name already. Shep thinks Little Craig is nervous, and Cameran tells him, sit and bond; skin to skin. She puts the puppy inside Shep’s shirt. Samantha says he’s a good eater, and sleeps through the night, referring to the puppy, not Shep. She gives him the vet record, and he tells Little Craig this is the beginning of the rest of his life. Cameran promises he’ll have a wonderful life. Shep puts the dog bed in his lap, and Cameran places Little Craig in it. She says this is so unlike him.

Kathryn and Naomie go to hypnotherapist Stephanie, who tells them that hypnosis is a naturally occurring state. We slip into it seven or eight times a day. It’s the zone that allows you to open up to your deeper self. Naomie is working on being more positive, and Kathryn says that would be great for her. In Naomie’s interview, she says, being with someone who wasn’t a good match, drove her crazy. We flash back to some of her miserable moments with Craig, ending with her telling him that he’s all talk and no action. Stephanie tells them, get comfortable and relax; eyes closed and breathe. She says they feel more comfortable, empowered, and bah-blah-blah about inner strength. They’re more than worth it, and good enough. She tells them their eyes are opening and they’re feeling good. She spritzes rose water on and around them, and says she’ll step out so they can enjoy their hypno-bliss. Kathryn tells Naomie don’t make her do this again. Naomie says she takes private sessions, and she’s learned if she tells herself out loud that it’s okay, and she just needs to relax, it helps. Metul’s parents meditate, and she wants to get on that wavelength. She tells Kathryn about Craig texting her, and says she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she wants to be respectful of Metul, and doesn’t want be talking to Craig. He knows she wants to marry Metul, and he’s not cool with it. Kathryn says he keeps telling them that he and Naomie had was no reason to break up. In her interview, Naomie says Craig isn’t part of her life anymore, and it’s kind of sad that he hasn’t moved on, and should have. Kathryn asks if she can be friends with Craig, but Naomie doesn’t think Craig can be friends with her. Kathryn says, at least they don’t have kids.

Cameran goes baby shopping, and meets her friend Leva. In her interview, Cameran says they had babies around the same time. She had hers first, so she prepared Leva. Women don’t talk about how hard it is because it makes you look weak. I guess that’s a Southern thing? Leva asks if she’s going for number two, but Cameran says, not unless a miracle of God happens. Leva reminds her that she said that the first time. Cameran thinks she’s more of a little kid person, and Leva says it’s too bad they can’t get them halfway grown. In Cameran’s interview, she says motherhood doesn’t come naturally to her, and she gets frustrated. She’s not a bad mom, just an every-little-thing-irritates-her mom. She doesn’t think she can handle more than one mentally and emotionally, and tells Leva she’s one and done. Leva says she wants another, but she’ll be forty next year. In her interview, Cameran says if she’d had a kid at twenty-five, it would have been a mess. She tells Leva that she’s going to be thirty-five on Saturday. Leva wants to get a present for Palmer, but Cameran nixes that. In Cameran’s interview, she says she’s had control issues her entire life. She doesn’t embrace the chaos. She tells Leva, no toys. The kid won’t rule the roost in her house. Leva says she’s a buzzkill.

Shep lets Little Craig run around. In his interview, Shep says it’s been a shock to his system. We see clips of Little Craig chewing on furniture, shoes, and Shep. Shep says Little Craig has a childlike wonderment, that occasionally frustrates the hell out of him. He puts Little Craig in the backyard. Shep thinks they’re doing well, and hopefully, he’ll make Craig into the coolest dog. Little Craig bites Shep’s finger. Shep tells him it’s time for his close-up.

Shep brings Little Craig to a photo studio for a shoot. He tells the photographer that he doesn’t want it sentimental. They take pictures, and in addition to standard snaps, Shep holds Little Craig up like Simba, and like a football. Craig joins him, and Shep drags him into the pictures. Craig says it’s like a wedding picture, and Shep says, my two dads. In his interview, Craig thinks Little Craig is awesome, and a fine namesake. He wonders which one of them is the namesake, and ponders that a while. They wait while the photos are being developed. Craig says Cameran is going an oyster roast in her backyard for her birthday, and he’s bummed. She’s been telling them she wants to get her mojo back. Shep says she was always lame (his word for responsible) even before she became a mom. Craig says they have to take the initiative. Shep suggests a big, fun trip. He’s miffed that when he was picking up Little Craig, Cameron told him about Madison saying he’d called her a white trash hairdresser. She and Austen are the worst match. Austen doesn’t deserve them as friends.

Kathryn visits Danni, whose having a problem getting her texts from her tablet. She left her phone at Gentry’s house. They talk about Cameran’s party. Danni asks if she thinks Eliza will be there, and Kathryn says, who? Danni says she and Naomie road horses with her, and Eliza is bothered that Kathryn won’t give her the time of day. She doesn’t know why. Kathryn says, you can’t force friendship. Everyone isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. In Kathryn’s interview, she says she and Eliza have never been friends. It just feels like a lost cause. She’s just going to let her talk and talk and talk, and then be done.

In Cameran’s interview, she says she can remember thinking someone who was thirty-five was old. Now she’s that someone. She doesn’t feel as hip as she used to be. She’s a homebody now, and thinks she used to be more fun. She can’t hang like she used to. Her party is being set up. She gets a drink, and Jennings the oyster guy comes with the goods. In her interview, she says she’s typically in bed at 8:30, so a late party isn’t for her. A daytime oyster roast is more her speed. She takes a shot.

Chelsea brings a cake that says, Halfway to 70, and gives Cameran a giftbag. Cameran says Palmer is with her mom, and Jason is on call. She opens Chelsea’s gift of fabulous gigantic earrings. Cameran thanks her, saying she needs to be more stylish. Eliza and Don show up next. Cameran asks if they’re bf/gf now. Eliza thinks so, and Cameran asks their age difference, which we find out is fourteen years. Naomie examines the seafood on her way in. Metul couldn’t make it, and Cameran says she has a crush on Metul. She gets her third drink, and they start on the oysters. Shep and Little Craig, who’s wearing a little jean jacket, arrive. Shep says someone gave him the jacket for Little Craig, and he thought it was apropos for an oyster roast. He says he’s proud of Cameran. She went out on limb, and left the house and everything. Cameran says, Big Craig is rare form; he wants to kick Austen’s ass. Shep says Austen is dead to Craig.

Austen comes with beer. Cameran grabs a can (drink #4). The last time she had a proper buzz was a long time ago. We flash back to that. Austen meets Little Craig, and says he likes this Craig better than the other Craig. Craig comes with a bunch of other people. Little Craig and Elvis play together, and are the cutest things on earth. Shep eats a giant oyster, which isn’t so cute. Craig brought bourbon, and asks Cameran to take a shot with him (drink #6, so I missed one somewhere). Craig snarks about Austen calling it an early night because Chelsea told him to go home. Naomie wonders what a world we live in that Austen gets a gold star for going home at a decent hour. Austen asks why Craig is mad; what did he do? Craig says he’s a loser. Austen invited him out, and when he got there, Austen left because his ex told him to. Austen says that’s not what happened. Craig says he claimed Chelsea told him to be home by eleven, and left Craig with people he didn’t know. Austen says, it was a bar, and Craig says Austen is losing his goddam mind.

Chelsea asks Craig what’s wrong with his friend bettering himself, and Craig tells her that she sucks. She’s not his mom; why is she still in his life? Chelsea asks why he’s so angry, and he says they’re nuts.  Cameran, Danni, and Kathryn sit on the porch. Kathryn says they’re about to kill each other. Craig says they’re awful, and they effing suck. Chelsea says he’s foaming at the mouth, and Craig stomps off. Austen says, good for her. In Naomie’s interview, she says it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before. She’s glad it’s not her problem. Craig tells Shep he’s just realized they’re friends with losers he doesn’t want to have anything to do with. Austen invited him out, and he left Craig with his guests. Shep says he didn’t know Craig was a social warrior. Naomie says it’s a reminder that what Craig is doing is effed up. He doesn’t like being shown what he’s doing is bad. Shep tells Craig that he tried to kiss Austen’s girlfriend, and they’re still friends. Naomie says it’s hard to say no, especially when they scream at you, and say you’re dead to them. For going bed early. Shep tells Craig, calm down. Craig says, it’s a mirror image of America. Deflecting, and not talking about the issue.

Shep wants burgers. Cameran insists she’s not drunk. Shep says she is, and it makes him happy. He supports it. Cameran falls on the ground, and takes Chelsea down. In Chelsea’s interview, she says she’s never seen Cameran this drunk, and she loves every second. Cameran says she’s not wasted, and then twerks on the steps. Shep says it’s been a lot of fun so far. Cameran says she isn’t in her in right state of mind. Shep says, but she looks fantastic, which is what’s important. She says she feels like a loser. Shep wants her to branch out; get out of town. They were talking about Colorado. Cameran says she’s married with a baby, but he says, just two nights. Jason will take care of Palmer, and Shep is sure he’s the best dad ever. She says she’s down for it, and yells she’s going to Colorado. In Austen’s interview, he thinks they could have told her they were going to Disneyworld, and she would have been like, yes!  Chelsea can’t find the cake cutter, so she forks the cake directly.

Kathryn joins Shep on the porch. He says he hasn’t seen her in a while. He just invited Cameran to Colorado and hopes she’ll consider coming. She says she’d love to get out of town. She asks about new Little Craig, but Shep says Eliza took him and doesn’t want to let him go. Kathryn says she hasn’t seen Eliza since Patricia’s dinner. Cameran sits with Naomie and Danni. Naomie doesn’t want to go on the trip. Why would she go on a trip with her ex-boyfriend? Danni says they’re all friends. Naomie says she loves everyone else, but doesn’t want to be with Craig. Cameran asks if it’s Metul, but Naomie says he’s secure and not threatened by Craig. Cameran asks, what if Craig was out of the equation? and Naomie says, then it would be no problem; it’s him. Everyone starts to leave. Craig drinks directly out of the bourbon bottle.

Kathryn asks if Cameran picked Colorado, and Cameran says Craig and Austen tried to go last year. Craig says Austen is a p*ssy, who answers to his ex. Austen says the relationship isn’t as effed up as Craig’s and Naomie’s. Craig says anyone who has a curfew given to them by their ex won’t be friends with him. Austen tells him to get some sleep. Danni asks why Craig is being like this. Is he aware Naomie won’t go on the trip because he is. Cameran says it’s inappropriate, and might upset Metul. Craig says they can’t be around each other because they never had closure. It’s easier for Naomie to act like it never happened, and him going on the trip will make it harder. Cameran tells him to say it; he still loves her. Craig says he loves her and he hates her at the same time. Cameran says, just say it. Kathryn says, admit it. Craig says he thought they would get married. Of course he loves her. In his interview, Craig says it terrifies Naomie to think that she cost herself one of the best things that ever happened to her for no reason. Kathryn thinks the reason Naomie isn’t comfortable around Craig, is that you can tell he has feelings for her, and it makes her afraid to be around him. She doesn’t know what will happen; if he’ll blow up or get upset. Danni says Naomie doesn’t want be an element of that. Craig says, now Naomie looks at their relationship, and realizes she was never as happy as she was with him, and it reminds her of that good time. Cameran thinks Naomie is very happy in her current relationship. They all agree, and Craig says, the guy who can go to every wedding. Oh wait, he can’t because he can’t get off work. I love how he totally misses that he’s saying Metul actually has a job, which is one of the things Naomie wanted Craig to have. Cameran says Naomie is looking at the rest of her life. Craig says why doesn’t Cameran tell the truth for one day in her life? and storms off. The girls just look at each other.

Next time, Austen takes a barre class with a couple of the girls, Cameron tries to convince Naomie to go to Colorado, Eliza wants an apology, and #HiAshley returns.

👀 Sighted: Colman Domingo (Victor, Fear the Walking Dead) on Euphoria.

🗽 Independent Quotes…

In childhood, the daylight always fails too soon – except when there are going to be firewroks; and then the sun dawdles intolerably. – Jan Struther

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. – from The Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson

📼 Entertainment For the Fourth…

Of course I have my own copy of the film, but if you don’t, you can watch this version of the play, pay a couple of bucks to see the film on YouTube, or watch the film pretty much scene by scene for free there. Enjoy the holiday, and remember why you’re free to have whatever flag you like fly.