What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie tells Spinelli to get in the car, and he says, dead end. Maxie says, Jason is in trouble, and he says, that much is clear from the footage. She says, so think. He knows Jason better than anyone else. She tries to start the car, but it stalls, and she asks where Spinelli thinks they should go. She tries again with the same result, and he says, Maxie? and she says, uh-oh.

TJ goes into his office where Jordan is waiting, carrying a paper bag and coffee. She says, not only does he let her hide out in here, but he brings her provisions? Best son ever. He hands her the bag, and says, the donut is from an actual bakery, from a patient that was discharged early. She tells him, so he’s saying it’s edible, and he says, the coffee is GH’s finest. She says she’ll proceed with caution, and he says, smart move. Why is she hiding out anyway? She says she wanted to give Dante’s family some space. She doesn’t suppose he’s heard any updates. He says, not in the last 20 minutes, and she says, they must be going out of their minds. He says, that’s exactly what he’s worried about.

There’s a knock at Elizabeth’s door and Jake answers. It’s Finn, and Jake says his mom’s not home yet. She texted. She’s running late. Finn says, must be some unforeseen hospital business, and Jake says, it’s cool if he wants to come in and wait. Finn thanks him and comes in. He asks, how’s school going? (I groan at the standard question) and Jake says, pretty good. Finn bends down and picks something up. He asks if it’s Jake’s.

Elizabeth is about to leave the hospital when she sees Danny come in. She says, it’s pretty late to be out. What is he doing here?

Sasha sees Cody at the hospital and hugs him. She says she was so worried about him.

Carly says, up until ten minutes ago, she thought Jason was dead. How do John and Anna have a warrant to search her house? John says, they petitioned a federal judge. Based on her long association with the fugitive in question, they had reason to believe he’d come here, and they had reason to believe she’d aid and abet him. Carly says, they can show their warrant to her lawyer when she gets here. Until then, they can wait outside. Jason peeks out from upstairs.

Jake says, oh good. Finn found his game piece. Finn says, it’s not a game piece. It’s from a vape pen, but Jake knew that already. Jake takes the rest out of his pocket and says he swears it’s not what it looks like, and Finn says, okay, handing him the piece. Jake says, it’s not his, and Finn asks, whose is it? Jake says, someone from school. Finn says, and Jake has it because… Jake says, because he was freaked out. He took it from this person. He was using it a lot and Jake knows it’s not good for him. Finn says, they’re still learning about all the long-term effects. They were originally designed to help people stop smoking. Now they’re marketed to kids and they’re highly addictive. How did his friend react when Jake took it from him? Jake says, he was not happy, and Finn says he bets. Jake asks what makes Finn think it’s a friend, and Finn says, if Jake didn’t care, he wouldn’t have taken it from him, right?

Elizabeth says, Danny must be really worried about Dante, and Danny says, him, Scout, and Rocco are staying at the Quartermaines, so their mom could be with Dante. Scout and Rocco are asleep, so he snuck out and caught a Ride Share. He just wanted to check on Dante. She says she totally gets where he’s coming from, and his mom is doing the best she can in an extremely difficult situation. So let’s go talk to her, okay? He says, she’ll be mad, but Elizabeth says, no. Trust her. They leave together.

TJ tells Jordan that Dante’s family is in agony waiting for him to wake up, and he’s worried too. He likes Dante a lot. He’s a really decent guy and he hates that this happened to him. Jordan tells him, that all goes without saying, and he says he just wishes… She asks, what is it? and he says, Dante is Kristina’s brother and brother-in-law. He’s important to her on multiple levels, so of course (🍷) she came to the hospital to see if he’s okay and be with the family. She says, he needs to stop qualifying and tell her what’s going on. Judgement free zone, remember? He tells her, what he’s about to say, she can’t repeat to Molly, and she says she won’t. He says, Kristina’s their surrogate and egg donor. On one hand, it’s awesome that Molly is going to have a biological tie to their child, another Davis boy or girl in the making. She says, and on the other hand? and he says, it’s not clean, like getting a donor egg from someone you’ll never know or never meet. This is really, really close to home. Jordan says, there’s something else. She can tell. He says, guess who else their child is going to be biologically tied to? and she says, Sonny Corinthos.

Sasha says she’s been trying to reach Cody ever since she heard about Dante. She’s been calling, texting, and she left a voicemail. He says, that’s major. He’s sorry he didn’t call her back. His phone must have been off. She says, don’t apologize. She’s just concerned. One of his oldest friends is in the hospital. Cody says, he might not make it, and she takes his hand, asking why he didn’t call her. She would have been here in a heartbeat. He says, that’s why he didn’t.

Sam tells Sonny, he’s still unconscious, and Sonny says, but stable? She says, for now, and Alexis says, stable’s good. Sam asks what Danny is doing here. Does Drew know he’s here? He says he came by himself, and Sam asks if Drew knows he left… So he snuck out again. Elizabeth says, he’s worried about Dante, and Danny says, nobody’s telling them anything. He wanted to see how he’s doing. Sam tells Elizabeth, thank you, and Elizabeth says, of course (🍷). And know that Dante is in her prayers. Alexis says, they appreciate that, and Sonny tells Elizabeth, goodnight. Elizabeth says, goodnight, and leaves. Sam says she’s sorry Danny feels out of the loop, but they don’t know anything right now. She’s touched that he came and knows Dante will be touched that he came, but if he goes home and waits and comes back tomorrow, he can sit with Dante then. Sonny says he’s going to arrange for a car, but Danny says, no. He’s not leaving. Sam says, Danny… and Danny says he’s sorry. No thank you. Alexis says, he wants to stay here? and Danny says, yes. She asks Sam if it would be all right if Danny stayed here with her, and she’ll take him home. She could use the company.

John says he doesn’t think Carly understands how a warrant works, and Anna says, it’s obvious Jason is here. It’s equally obvious that Carly would swallow ground glass in order to give him a head start. So she either gets out of their way or she gets arrested. It’s her choice at this point. Carly says, search. They’re not going to find Jason because he was never here. Anna thanks her for her cooperation, and she and John go inside. Anna tells Carly, stay here out of the way. Just keep out of their way.

Jake says he doesn’t want his friend getting in trouble, but he doesn’t know how else to make him stop, and Finn says, it’s a tough situation to be in. Jakes says, maybe taking the vape was stupid, and Finn asks, how so? Jake says, because his friend is mad at him and he’s just going to get his hands on another one. Finn says, you can’t change someone else’s behavior, right? All you can do, it seems like he’s done already. He can tell his friend that he doesn’t like this thing and he’s concerned about him when he uses it. Jake says, not that he cared, and Finn says, it may seem that way and maybe it’s true. Maybe he doesn’t care. But Finn guarantees he’s going to remember what Jake said to him. Who knows what happens in time? If Jake ever wants to talk about this some more, he’ll be around. Jake says, Finn’s going to tell his mom, isn’t he? and Finn says he thinks she needs to know, but he thinks it would probably be better coming from Jake. Elizabeth comes in and apologizes for being late. She was in a rush to get out of there and… Is everything okay?

Sasha says, Cody didn’t want her to come? and he says, of course (🍷) he wanted her to come. It’s just that they just started talking about hanging out on purpose and he kind of thought maybe it would be coffee, or a movie, or dinner if he was lucky. Not hanging out spending the night in the hospital under florescent lighting. She says she happens to love florescent lighting, and he says, sure. She says she’s really looking forward to whatever comes next, but today they’re friends and she cares about him. He says, back atcha, and she says, that means, whenever he needs her, she’s always going to be there. Got it? he says, yeah, and she says, so next time things hit the fan, who are you going to call? He says, Ghostbusters, and she rolls her eyes. He says, it was a dumb joke. He apologizes. He’ll call her. He thanks her for coming, and she says, always, putting her arm around him.

TJ tells Jordan, in one night, Sonny was the target of an ambush. Apparently, there was a hole in his coat where the bullet almost hit him, and Dante was shot twice and is fighting for his life. And a few weeks ago, Sonny was shot at in Puerto Rico. Kristina told Molly in confidence. Maybe he’s not supposed to know, so please don’t say anything. Jordan says, understood, and he says, his point is, this is exactly what he feared. She asks if he told Molly any of this, and he says, that he’s afraid of her sister being their egg donor because her family is a dysfunctional mess and frequently in danger? Jordan says, maybe not in those exact words, and he asks what he’s supposed to say. He agreed to it. She says, Molly knew he had reservations at the beginning, and he says, so did she. It took a lot of soul searching for them to get to a place where they chose Kristina, but they did choose her. And once they did, Molly was all in. She says, but he doesn’t feel the same way, and he says he tried. But he looks at Dante in the hospital bed and thinks, is this their life now? Their child is born, someone else gets shot at, and they’re just holding their breath until they pull through? He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want that for himself. He doesn’t want that for his child. Is that so selfish? She says, no. It’s human.

Sam says she’s going to call Drew and let him know Danny’s here, but Alexis says she’ll handle that. Sam should stay close to Dante. She asks if Danny wants a snack from the vending machine, he says, sure, and they leave. Sam tells Sonny that she’s really sorry, but he says she doesn’t have to apologize. Everybody’s on edge. He knows what that’s about. They sit down, and Sonny says he keeps thinking, why did Dante have to go after that guy? Sam says, because it’s his job, and Sonny asks if Dante can’t do his job and stay safe at the same time. Sam says, and risk something happening to Sonny? No. That’s just how he is. Sonny says he wishes just for tonight that wasn’t true, and Sam says she used to make that same wish. He says, not anymore? and she says she’s come to a place of peace and acceptance where Dante’s job is concerned. But there will be no peace and acceptance for the person who did this to him, and she needs Sonny to make sure of that.

On the phone, Carly says, the Police Commissioner is here and so is the FBI. They have a warrant and they’re searching the house for Jason. They’re telling her that he’s alive and she doesn’t know how to fight them. So she needs Diane to call her back as soon as possible and find a way to stop them.

John tells Anna, no sign of him. Her? She says, nothing. (I have a vision of Jason clinging to the ceiling like Spiderman.) It doesn’t mean anything though. Jason knows this house like his own and the security system. He could easily get in and out without a trace if Carly helped him, which clearly, she did. John asks where Jason would go next, and he and Anna find Carly. Anna asks Carly, where are her cars? and Carly asks if she’s required to answer that. Is it part of the warrant? Anna says, they can take her down to the station, and she and her attorney can figure it all out, or Carly can just answer her. Carly says she has two cars and they’re both in the garage, an SUV and a convertible. And there’s a space there for Josslyn’s car, but she has it at school. She doesn’t have a gardener’s truck or anything like that she could have given Jason because he wasn’t here. Anna tells John that they can assume Jason was on foot and he’s injured, and Carly says, wait. Jason’s hurt? Anna says she thought Carly didn’t believe he was alive, and Carly says, what happened to Jason? John says, they believe he attempted to murder Carly’s ex-husband, Sonny Corinthos. He fled the scene pursued by police and shot Dante Falconari twice in the chest. Carly says, that’s insane. Murder Sonny? Jason would never try to shoot Dante. John says, the evidence suggests otherwise, and he wonders where Jason would go from here. Anna says she thinks she knows a place. She’ll tell him on the way. They leave, and Carly looks like she has a headache.

Sonny says he knows how Sam is feeling, but they just can’t jump to conclusions, and Sam says, what other conclusion is there? Dante was shot and he might not make it. Sonny tells her not to say that, but she says, it’s true. She might look all calm and collected right now, but she’s losing her mind waiting for his son to wake up. And she couldn’t say this in front of her mom or her son, but she needs to know there will be payback. That this monster won’t get away with what he did. Does he understand what she’s asking him to do? He says he understands, and she thanks him. She says she’s going to sit with Dante, and he asks if she needs company, but she says she thinks she needs a minute alone. He says he’s here if she needs him, and she goes in. Sonny’s phone dings and he sees a text from Carly: 911. Meet me on the hospital roof.

Jake holds out his hand and Finn gives him the vape pod. Jake tells Elizabeth, Finn found this, and Finn says, hear him out. Elizabeth asks if it belongs to Jake, but Jake says he took it from a friend because he was worried. She says, and he kept it? and Jake says he was going to throw it away, but then he got scared she’d see it and think it was his. She says, okay. She trusts him. She’s sorry he’s worried about his friend. Sounds like he’s lucky to have Jake. Jake says he talked to Finn about it a little. Finn gave him some good advice. She says, then she guesses they’re lucky to have Finn. She hates that they’re seeing more kids with these things. This is a much bigger conversation. Can they revisit this in the morning? Jake says, yeah, thanks Finn, and goes upstairs. Elizabeth says she’s so relieved it’s not his, and Finn says, that was some serious composure, but she says, only on the outside. Inside, she was panicking. He seemed so calm. He says, that’s because he’s not the parent, which begs the question, did he just overstep with her son?

Spinelli says, when Maxie tells him that she’s out of gas… She says, her tank is on E, and he says, right now? She says, mm-hm, and he says, at the precise moment they need the car to move? She says, yes, and he says, so in essence, the worst possible time? She asks how she was supposed to know Sonny’s safe houses are so far apart, and he says, fair enough, but did she not notice it was running low? She says, they always think there’s more gas in there than you think there is, and he says, who’s they? She says, a lot has been going on. She’s been very distracted. She should have paid more attention. He says, no, it’s okay, but she says, it’s not. She let him down. He says, she could never, and she says, maybe there’s a gas station around here somewhere, but he says, unfortunately, there’s nothing for miles. She says, maybe that’s why Jason is hiding out here, and he says, if he could just understand what the footage meant. What was Jason trying to accomplish? She says, the police are going to figure it out, and he says, but the police aren’t interested in those questions. As far as they’re concerned, he’s just a suspect on the run. And if they find him, they’ll treat him as such.

Sonny asks why Carly want to meet him up here, and she says, something happened, and she wanted them to be alone when she told him. He says, she saw Jason, didn’t she? and she says, he was at her house. Sonny asks if he’s still there, but she says, no. The police showed up. How did Sonny know he was alive? He says he saw footage of Jason on the roof at Selina Wu’s warehouse. Jason and some other guy were trying to kill him.

Jason goes to the footbridge, but John and Anna are already there. John says, federal agents. Hands where he can see them. He shines a light in Jason’s face.

Elizabeth says, no. Finn didn’t overstep. He asks if she’s sure, and she says she’s grateful it seems like Jake can talk to him. He says, to be fair, he did catch Jake red-handed. It’s not like Jake sought him out. She says, but when Finn caught him, he stayed, and actually admitted Finn gave him good advice. He says he guesses that’s high praise from a teenager, and she says, the highest. Jake is warming up to Finn in a way he didn’t before. She doesn’t know if it’s because he’s more mature or he sees how happy they are, but she likes that Jake is taking the chance to be closer to him. Finn says he likes it too, and she says, so what about her? If there was an issue with Violet, would he mind her stepping in, and not just as her aunt, as a… He says, parent? and she says, parent adjacent, we’ll call it. He says, she already has three kids of her own. Is she sure she even wants that responsibility? She says she loves Violet, for more than a million reasons. Plus, Violet brings a little girl energy into her life. He says, girl energy. Violet hates nothing if not that. She says, their families are meshing in a very fun and healthy way, and he says, Cam did add him to his family group chat. She says, see? and he says, Aiden did tell him that he was happy to offer any baking advice, as long as he returns the favor. She asks what Aiden needed advice on, and Finn says, somebody he likes. Their name is Tobias.

Jordan says, all the things TJ pointed out were true, but there are other truths too. Really wonderful, beautiful ones. Kristina is having his baby. They’re both healthy. The pregnancy’s going well, right? He says, the baby’s developing beautifully, and Jordan says, a gift Kristina is giving him out of love for her sister. Come on. Who’s more motivated than her to make sure everything keeps going okay?

Alexis hands Danny something from the vending machine and says she hates hospitals. He says, him too, and she says she hates waiting even more, but unfortunately, that’s what they’re going to have to do. He says, it beats being at home. If something happens, they’re close. That sounds dumb, doesn’t it? She asks, why? and he says, it’s not like there’s anything they can do to help him. She says, a long time ago, she was in the exact same circumstance Danny is in now. His mom was hurt, and she was desperate to do something to try and fix it and all she could do was wait for the doctors to fix it. He says, and they did, and she says, they did. And she thinks that’s what’s going to happen for Dante.

Sasha asks why Cody isn’t waiting with Dante’s family, and he says, because he’s not family. He doesn’t want to intrude. She asks if they even know he’s here, and he says he doesn’t know. She says, he’s Dante’s oldest friend. She’s sure they’d welcome his support. He says, they have each other, and she asks who he has. He says, that’s just it. Like pretty much most of his life, it’s just been him. He’s used to taking care of himself. She tells him, so that’s just the way it is, huh? and says pretty much. She says, wow. She thinks it’s about time he learns a new way.

Carly says, Sonny knows Jason wasn’t trying to shoot him, but Sonny says, no, he doesn’t know. She asks what he’s talking about. This is Jason. He’s risked his life for Sonny so many times. Why would Jason try to kill him? He says he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know where Jason’s been the last two and a half years before he showed up tonight. All he knows is, Jason was on the roof with a guy, trying to kill him. And he also knows, when Jason left the roof, Dante went after him.

John says, don’t do anything stupid, when Anna comes around the other side with another officer. She says she doesn’t know what’s going on, but he can’t keep running. Let them take him into custody and they can sort this all out. Please. Come on. Jason jumps off the bridge and into the water. Anna and John look over the railing, and John says, he’s gone. Son of a bitch.

Elizabeth says, Aiden told Finn about Tobias? and Finn says, yeah. His name came up when Aiden was helping him with one of his burnt brownie situations… Wait. Please tell him that she knew, because… She says she knew. Aiden confided in her over Christmas, but he said he wasn’t ready yet to tell anyone else. Finn says he guesses Aiden is now. Or ready to tell him at least. Brownie bonding’s a real thing. She says, apparently, and he says, anyway, no big deal, right? She says, that Aiden’s gay? No. That he felt comfortable enough to tell Finn? She thinks her heart just exploded. He says, they can’t have that. Her heart’s very important to him. They kiss.

Jordan says she thinks what it all boils down to is, does TJ trust Kristina to do what’s in the baby’s best interest? He says, yes, and she says, then in her opinion, the good outweighs the bad. He can’t control everything. He says, why not? and she says, wouldn’t it be nice if we could? (Yes!) All he can do is hope and believe the outcome will be positive. Otherwise, he’ll be paralyzed. He says, that’s exactly how he feels when the anxiety creeps in. He’s frozen. She says she doesn’t blame him one bit. He’s still dealing with the trauma of the last surrogate’s miscarriage. This is scary, and things don’t always go as planned. He says he really needs this to go as planned, and she says she knows. In a perfect world, every pregnant woman would be sitting in a garden with her feet up, surrounded by beauty and calm, ingesting the perfect combination of nutrients. He says, exactly, and she says, but that’s not reality for most people. It certainly wasn’t for her, but guess what? She survived and so did he. He says, they did, didn’t they? and she says, all her way of saying, the odds are actually in his favor.

Maxie asks if Spinelli is having second thoughts, and he says, about what? She says, letting Jason go to jail instead of her, and he says, no. She says, it’s okay if he is, but he says he’d do anything for her. She knows that. And being here with her right now was the only place he wanted to be. She says, stranded in the middle of nowhere, with an empty gas tank, and he says, yes, so he’s not having second thoughts. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel guilty. The FBI now knows who they’re looking for and that’s on him, as they say. She says, he was backed into a corner. She loves Jason, but he’s the one who decided to let his face be seen. So whatever happens next is on him, not Spinelli. Spinelli says, whatever happens next… Any guesses what that’s going to be? She says she does know Jason won’t give up without a fight. So neither will they.

Alexis says, would it horrify Danny if she said she thought they were a little bit alike? and he asks why that would horrify him. She says, because she’s comparing a teenage boy to his grandma, and he says, she’s the coolest grandma he knows. She gives him a side hug and says she thinks when they see an injustice, they want to do what they can to make it right. That’s why she thinks he should go back to the Quartermaines, because Scout is a night owl and she’s going to need him when she wakes up. And that’s a good thing he can do tonight. It may not make it right, but it can make it better. He agrees and says, let’s go.

Carly says, Jason didn’t shoot Dante, and Sonny asks if Jason told her that. She says, no. They didn’t talk about Dante. They didn’t have time to talk about much at all. Sonny asks what Jason said, and she tells him, he said her name. She walked in the house, and she was going up the stairs, and he said her name. She turned around and he was standing there. She thought she was hallucinating, but she wasn’t. He was right there. Sonny asks, what happened next? and she says she hugged him. She realized he was shot, and she went to get the first aid kit. He asks if Jason told her who shot him, but she says, no. He says, it could have been Dante shot Jason by mistake, not knowing it was Jason, and Jason shot back at him, shooting to kill. She says, he doesn’t know any of that’s true, and he says, what he does know is that his son is in a hospital bed with two bullets in his chest. And Jason is an expert shot who never misses. (Yeah, exactly. So why would he miss Sonny three times?)

Anna says she wants a search team on both sides of the river from here to the lake. Find him and you bring him back. Go. Thank you. John asks, why come here? and Anna says, Jason built his bridge. Doesn’t he remember? This used to be an ornamental bridge, like the Pont Neuf in Paris. He says, oh yeah. Kids used to dare each other to come out here. She says, after Stone died, Jason and Robin became close, and they used to meet out here. Robin told her that. The bridge was unsafe and eventually the city tore it down, she guesses about ten, fifteen years ago. Jason donated money and they built it in the same spot. John says, seems like an odd time to check out his public works project, and she says, having spent a lot of time out here, she’s assuming there’s a structure somewhere he could hide and regroup, nearby. That’s why he headed here. John says, now he’s in the river and probably dead.

Finn says he should get going, but Elizabeth says, no, stay. He says, early morning surgery, and she says, right. She thanks him for coming over and says she’s sorry for being late, but he says he’s not. She says, thank you, and he says, not because he didn’t get to spend more time with her, but because he got to spend some time with Jake. He’s a really good kid. She says she knows he is, and Finn says, she has a lot to do with that. She says, this parenting thing is not for the faint of heart, and he says, they’re doing okay, aren’t they? She says, it’s a lot easier now that she has him, and they kiss. Finn says, goodnight, and leaves, giving her a last smile before he closes the door.

Spinelli says, if he hasn’t told her, he appreciates Maxie’s willingness to work with him, despite his subterfuge. She says he doesn’t have to keep bringing that up. Yes, she was hurt and angry he lied, but his heart was in the right place. He says, with her. His heart is and always has been with her. He takes her hand, and she asks why he’s the sweetest. He says he doesn’t know, and she laughs. They kiss, and he says, so all’s well that ends well? She says, yeah. So when can he move out?

Sasha says she doesn’t care how uncomfortable it makes Cody. A lot of people in this town care about him. She’s one of them. He says, noted, and she says, so no toughing it out alone, okay? He says, if she insists, and she says she does. He asks if he should get them some coffee. It’s probably going to be a long night. She says, cream, and they say together, no sugar. She says, he knows her coffee order? and he says he pays attention.

Jordan says, TJ is kind, compassionate, incredibly gifted. She tells anyone who will listen about her son the doctor. She loves him. He says he loves her too, and they hug. She says, and she cannot wait to meet her grandchild and see what kind of dad he’s going to be. He says, let’s hope a good one, and she says she has no doubt. He leaves.

Sonny gestures to Sam and she comes out of Dante’s room. He says he didn’t mean to pull her away from Dante, but there’s something she should know. She says, what’s up? and he says, they were able to get an ID of the guy on the roof. She asks if he means someone who was involved in Dante’s shooting. Who? He says, it’s Jason. He’s alive.

Still on the roof, Carly says, Jason, wherever you are, please be okay.

Anna asks John, isn’t that one of the first rules of police work? Never assume anything? He asks if she thinks Jason survived the fall, and she says she thinks that’s why he jumped; he thought he could survive the fall. He’d rather take his chances with the river than be taken into custody. John says, it makes sense… if he put two bullets into Dante Falconari. Better to jump than be charged with killing a cop.

Clutching his side, Jason walks into the Quartermaine boathouse, shuts the door, and keels over.

Tomorrow, Kristina asks Blaze, what about this morning is so special; Sam tells Michael, there’s always room for one more; Laura says, Heather is soon to be someone else’s problem; Carly asks why Drew is so convinced Jason is guilty; and Jason says he needs someone’s help.

Below Deck

Kerry calls Jared to the flybridge, then shows him a drain on deck that guests shouldn’t see. Fraser names the French toast with no eggs Tina toast, and the other guests say they haven’t seen primary Tina since 9 last night. In Anthony’s interview, he says, tomorrow is the anniversary of his dad’s death. His daddy was his world, and he feels like his dad is watching him. We flash back to Jared saying, the guests want a friendly game of volleyball, and the deckhands get the volleyball equipment together. Guest Eileen joins the others, and we flash back to her head boinking off the jacuzzi. She apologizes for her bad behavior, and Jared tells Captain Kerry that Eileen is a liability. The captain tells him to keep an eye on her. She’s not getting on the ski. In Captain Kerry’s interview, he says, if something happens, they’re a-holes, but if they stop something from happening, they’re a-holes. He once duct taped a guest to the bed. The captain tells Fraser about Eileen’s drunken fall, and Fraser says he wants to talk to Barbie when she’s free. The guests sit for breakfast, and Fraser presents Tina toast, but Tina looks underwhelmed. Maybe she’s just hung over. Fraser says, their energy is soul sucking. Captain Kerry asks Barbie to see him for an update when she gets the chance. Eileen pretends she was a champion volleyball player, but the guests and I are skeptical. Maybe a champion at beer pong. Captain Kerry suggests Sunny learn more about the tender, and in his interview, he says he likes to give the crew an opportunity to learn and grow. If he can encourage Sunny to move forward, he’s going to do that. That’s one thing I like across the board with the captains in this franchise. They all seem to help the crew advance in the field as much as possible.

The crew finishes packing up the volleyball stuff, and in Cat’s interview, she wonders if Barbie has ever done her own laundry. In Barbie’s interview, she says she took a laundry course, but she doesn’t think she learned much. Captain Kerry tells Jared that when he comes back, he’s going to teach Cat the longboard, and in the captain’s interview, he says he can see Cat’s not fitting in. We flash back to Fraser saying that Cat was going through things, and the captain says, the board is his meditation, and he wants to give Cat the opportunity to get away from the boat, center on herself, and get back to full capacity. Barbie says she can’t do water sports. It ruins her hair and makeup. In her interview, Barbie says, Cat’s therapy is salt water. She has to be the bigger person and just be here. I’m so excited for you.

Grand Mal, Grenada, second day of charter. The crew and guests head out for volleyball, and the crew talks strategy on the way. The teams are Chicago for the guests, all of them wearing matching T-shirts, and the Crop Top team for the crew. Fraser says he remembers some cheerleading songs, but Xandi says, maybe he doesn’t need to sing. Captain Kerry asks Barbie about Eileen, and Barbie says, she doesn’t seem injured, but she needs to cut Eileen off and doesn’t know how. The captain suggests giving her just a little alcohol in her drink. He should specify after a couple of drinks when she’s less likely to notice. Old bartender trick. He tells Barbie that if she gets in a place where she’s uncomfortable, get him. Guest Barbara says, the game is being taken way too serious, and Eileen says, this is ace and I’m drunk AF already. Back at the boat, Cat has her boarding lesson, while on the boat, Barbie bitches and says, f***ing Cat. She tells Kyle that she wants to jump off the boat and go home. Bye, girl. The guests win 21 to 19, while Jared tells Cat that she did it, just before she falls. Cat gets back on the boat and tells Barbie that she should go on a break, but Barbie says she can’t take a break. In Cat’s interview, she says she doesn’t think Barbie wanted her to go out and have fun. Fraser asks if the guests are ready to rumble, and they head back to the boat. In Jared’s interview, he says, the last time he spoke to his daughter was two weeks ago, between the lack of service and his hours. He wants to be a great father. He knew people with no father, and they were hurt and vulnerable. He wants his daughter to be strong and have support, someone to rely on. He tries texting ex Veronica again, but it’s a fail. In Barbie’s interview, she says she looks up to Fraser, but they butt heads. They’re both honest and forward, but he has a filter, and she doesn’t. They have a toxic relationship right now. The guests come back, and Eileen says, here comes the winning team. Barbie says she wants to die.

Anthony says he’s making a five course Italian/Mediterranean fusion dinner. He loves Italian. He’s like a French Guido. Barbie tells Jared, this is the longest day ever, and in her interview, she says, the potential with Jared is dead. In Jared’s interview, he says he wants to see what the potential is going to be going down Barbie Lane. In her interview, Barbie says, no. Just no. Barbie tells Fraser that she’s unsure about the silverware. She’s used to having a chief stew who tells her what to do. Fraser asks if she wants him to tell her what to do, but she says, no. In Fraser’s interview, he says, Barbie has no respect for authority. He’s not going down the same route as last year with the lack of respect from Camille. We flash back to that, and he says, respect me or walk off. There’s no room for wavering. Fraser tells Anthony that Barbie is being passive/aggressive. If he hears she’s being insubordinate behind his back, it’s going to be a quick departure.

Eileen tells Tina that she loves that glass. Put it in her purse. I think she’s joking, but I’m not totally sure. Sunny tells Barbie that the captain asked her to practice with the tender, and Barbie says, she’s a badass chick. She’s thinking they should have a girls’ night when the guests leave. They can go to dinner early and grab a drink. The guests dress for dinner, and Fraser says, welcome to Italy. Guest Rob wonders what kind of insurance the boat has, because he’s taking that MF’er home. Having been hypnotized by the pizza porn for a moment, I’m not sure what MF’er he’s talking about. The dishes? The bar? Anthony? The boat itself? Fraser asks the guests if the captain can join them for dessert. Of course, they say yes, and when he gets out of earshot, Fraser says, these people are insufferable. Xandi says, Fraser is her type, but she doesn’t think she’s his, and in her interview, she says she was married and divorced at 22. They met in high school, and her dad and his mom had an affair. It lasted six months, but the damage lasted way longer. Captain Kerry joins the guests for dessert, and usually I say, if it’s not chocolate, it’s not worth it, but I’d definitely eat this beautiful confection. Surprisingly, the guests go to bed. Jared keeps trying to text Veronica, but has no luck.

Final day of charter, 6:05 am. Barbie texts the rest of the crew about girls’ night and says, they’ll all meet up later. Fraser tells Anthony that it’s a big day. How’s he feeling? In Fraser’s interview, he says, Anthony lost his dad 2 years ago and he came close to losing his. His father was diagnosed with cancer. He had a tumor the size of a baby’s fist in his esophagus. They were lucky; he kept his dad. Anthony wasn’t, so he’s here for him. Captain Kerry wants the anchor up, and my favorite porn, breakfast porn, is served. On their way to Port Louis Marina, Anthony is concerned that his mom is alone, and in his interview, he says his dad is probably proud of him. The last time his dad saw him, he was a waiter. His dad never saw him as a chef. They had a dream to open a Miami restaurant. Don’t worry, daddy. I will make it happen. Captain Kerry radios the interior to change channels for docking. Once again, Jared fumbles around, not quite understanding meters, distance, or what side of the boat he’s on. In the captain’s interview, he says, it’s stressful. He needs information. He needs to know what Jared sees, but Jared still has trouble. Ben says, Jared makes him anxious, and Kyle asks, what is he doing?   

Jared continues to flounder, but somehow the lines get tied. In Captain Kerry’s interview, he says he’s f***ing pissed. Fraser tells Cat that he’s proud of her this trip, and the crew gets ready to say goodbye to the guests. Tina says, the food and the service were amazing, and they’ll be back. The tip envelope is given to the captain, and the guests leave. In Jared’s interview, he says, bye, Felicia. The captain calls Jared to the bridge and tells him that if he’s on the starboard wing, he doesn’t need the distance for starboard. In his interview, the captain says, Jared has a lack of self-awareness. It can be learned, but he doesn’t think Jared has what it takes. He tells Jared that it’s a big boat and he has no idea what’s going on. Jared has to talk to him, or he’ll lose concentration. What if something goes to sh*t? There’s a lot going on. Jared says, the captain is crystal clear. Xandi tells Kyle that she thinks between 29 and 32 is when you go through the most changes (that’s random), but she’s tired of learning lessons.

It’s time for the tip meeting, and Captain Kerry says, everyone did a great job. The tip is $26K, or $2000 each, and he says, go have a good one, but don’t tie one on too hard. They have work tomorrow. Ben tells Sunny to get ready for her tender lesson, and in Sunny’s interview, she says she’s nervous, but excited. Canada is so cold. That’s why she enjoys yachting; she can escape that. She loves the Caribbean sun. Being the only girl on deck, she has to prove herself. Her goal is to be a bosun, and she’s ready for the challenge. Girl power. Fraser tells Anthony about the plan for a girls’/guys’ night before dinner, and Kyle sings, I’m in the mood for nine Coronas, then chugs a beer. That’s a lot of Coronas. The girls leave in one taxi and the guys in another. Barbie tells the bartender that they have four thirsty girls. We find out that she was also married at 22. Covid hit and they had to be around one another. The sex was minimal, and the love was minimal. In her interview, she says, they’d been in a relationship for a year, and she thought he was the one. She got used to him and settled. She says, he’s her best friend and they hang out. They’re still legally married, but neither one of them feels like doing the paperwork. At guys night, Fraser says, the chef doesn’t sleep, and on the next charter, they should all help him. Jared whines, what does Fraser think he’s doing now? and in Fraser’s interview, he says he knows they’re all going through sh*t, but Jared seemed to take an aggressive turn so quickly so after a few drinks. It’s a red flag.

Fraser explains that he’s suggested all of them make a go and do sh*t for Anthony, but Jared says he doesn’t know what more he can do. Maxi says, they need to stay together. They’re a family. They leave to meet the girls, and when Barbie sees Kyle, she says, hot vibes. There’s a band and the crew dances. Jared drinks more, and Cat calls her best friend, who asks if she’s okay. Cat says she’s trying to be herself, but she’s not vibing. Her friend says she’s sorry. It sounds lonely. Cat says, it feels lonely, and her friend says, a lot of people love her and are waiting for her to get back. On the way back, Fraser and Cat hug, and Barbie points out to Max that she shaved her legs, which compels him to feel them. Back at the boat, Fraser says, PJs or hot tub? And Barbie says, hot tub. Anthony goes to bed, and Captain Kerry gets up and wanders around. He sees Barbie and asks her to have everyone tone it down. She tells the others that the captain woke up and they have to stop yelling. Ben kisses Sunny and Kyle smokes a pipe. Ben and Sunny get busy in a cabin bathroom. Fraser says, mummy’s a tired girl, and heads to bed. Jared gets bent out of shape when he sees that Kyle has spilled some tobacco. He says, there’s no I in team, but who gets the blame? Me. Kyle cleans it up as Jared continues to bitch that his tobacco pouch is still open. Kyle and Barbie go to her cabin, while Jared curses and says, Kyle is pissing him off.

Barbie starts cleaning up her cabin, like you do when you’re drunk and bring home a good-looking guy, and says, it’s a mess. She can’t live like this. Jared comes to the door and says, Kyle’s f***ing tobacco pouch is still open, and tobacco is flying all over, which is more than a slight exaggeration. Kyle apologizes, and Jared stumbles around. Barbie goes back to straightening up, and Jared boomerangs back, saying, this is no joke. Make sure his tobacco isn’t all over the boat before Kyle goes to bed. He’s not here to clean sh*t up. Kyle says he’s up at four, and he’ll get it then. In Kyle’s interview, he says, simmer down. Kyle doesn’t need to talk to him like that. In Jared’s interview, he says he’s the boss, and Barbie tells Kyle that not everybody can handle drink. It’s a d*ck move. Kyle says he has thick skin. He’s been talked to worse than that. Jared cleans various things up around the boat while he mumbles, bitches, whines, and growls. He says he’s starting to get pissed off, and beats a path back to Kyle. He says, they need have chat now, and Kyle says he’s brushing his teeth. Kyle says he doesn’t care, and Barbie says, he’s on a roll tonight. Kyle follows Jared to the crew mess, still brushing his teeth. Jared makes him take his toothbrush out and put it on a napkin. Kyle says he was literally going to bed, but Jared says, at the end of the day, they have a job to maintain, and Kyle isn’t done. He’s cleaned a lot, but it’s not enough because it’s all wet. He wants Kyle to vacuum up his tobacco before he goes to bed. At the end of the day (drunk repeating), this is his house. He keeps on going until finally Captain Kerry appears and asks, what’s going on? He can hear Jared two decks up and he’s trying to sleep.

Next time, Cat says she’s over this sh*t; Captain Kerry asks Max and Barbie what happened with Jared; and the captain tells Jared that it’s the second time he’s had to discuss Jared’s bad behavior.

🪤 So Bad It’s Good…

However, NeNe looks fabulous, and Denise doesn’t have her clothes on upside down. This already premiered, but no doubt will be on constant rotation for a while.

https://extratv.com/2024/03/08/denise-richards-jokingly-compares-hunting-housewives-to-surviving-an-rhobh-reunion-exclusive

📲 Bring In Google STAT…

Since I’m a glutton for punishment, I keep trying to watch Love in Translation, one of the most stupid reality shows I’ve seen yet. The men speak English, but the women don’t, which might be interesting if everyone didn’t act like they were in middle school. The women talk rapidly in their native tongue, expecting these less than Einstein level lads to understand them, while the guys talk like you might to a child or someone from another planet, slow and loud. There are various challenges (for lack of a better word), like a more adult version of Spin the Bottle that just seemed juvenile and mean. MILF Manor was kinder.

https://www.tlc.com/shows/love-and-translation

⚰️ This Week In Ones…

A 500 year plan to make the world better than it was; Jadis has a secret file to be released in the event of her untimely demise: I confuse the CRM with PADRE for a moment; old world twisty weed pullers are now called kill sticks for zombies; maps hidden in a couch cushion; Rick tells Jadis that she’s a hero with a bad haircut; and when in doubt, kick that zombie. Read on…

https://www.cbr.com/the-walking-dead-the-ones-who-live-season1-episode3-recap-spoilers

🏆 An Honor Just To Be Nominated…

More later in the week, but here’s the winners. Hint to the Academy: Just because it’s boring doesn’t mean it has to win.

https://www.oscars.org/oscars/ceremonies/2024

And controversy!

https://people.com/oscars-2024-al-pacino-best-picture-winner-announcement-controversy-8607755

🎸 Rock ‘n’ Roll Part 645…

Join me tomorrow for soap and VanderBabble. Until then, stay safe, stay not adding your boss on social media, and stay making something better if you can’t make it right.

Yeah, I know it’s not the song that won, but I hate for him to be left out yet again. And what about Allan?