What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Poor Jason can’t get any real work done. Two gunmen slip into the coffee warehouse, but he can feel it. He chucks his clipboard, takes out his gun, and ducks behind some shelves before shots come his way. There’s a shootout and Jason hits one of the gunmen. The other is apparently a coward and runs out.

Carly says, if Jason doesn’t sell his half of the coffee business to Sonny, what does he plan on doing about it? Sonny says, it’s just business, but Carly says, it isn’t. Sonny made it personal when he insisted Jason was the enemy. Sonny says, that’s who he is now; he’s working with the Feds. He was free to make a choice how to handle it. Sonny made his. She says, he told her that what happens next is on Jason. What the hell does that mean? What did he do?

Kristina sits at a beautifully set table in Blaze’s room and says, when Blaze surprises a girl with dinner, she really goes all out. And her favorite chocolate cake for dessert. She can’t believe Blaze remembered that. Blaze says, to be fair, Kristina talks about the chocolate cake a lot, and Kristina says, yeah, because it’s her favorite. Not that she’s complaining, but what’s the occasion? Blaze asks if she needs an occasion to spoil Kristina… Maybe there’s a little something else going on here. She knows Kristina has been having a hard time with what she saw at the wedding reception. She just wanted to do something to show Kristina that she’s not alone. She’s here. Kristina says, that’s really sweet of her, and thanks her. It has been hard lately. It’s been hard facing the reality of who her dad actually is, but talking to Dante really helped because she could see he was struggling with the same issues. Blaze says she’s glad, and Kristina says, also, being here with her like this makes her feel even better. She feels so safe with Blaze. She used to think the only person in this whole world who really understood her was her dad, and now she knows that’s not true because she has Blaze. Blaze says, Kristina does have her, and Kristina says she knows. She’s glad Molly doesn’t know about this because if she did, Molly would be out of control, and she really can’t handle that. She asks Blaze, what’s wrong? and Blaze says, Molly does know. She told her.

Ava records on her phone: Welcome to the first US exhibition of the work of Lagos based Harriet Nikia, exclusively at the Jerome gallery, when… She says, dammit, and rewinds. She says, welcome to the first… when there’s a knock at the door. She opens it to Natalia, who says, she hopes this isn’t a bad time. Is it?

Deanna brings Jack into his hospital room and says, he did a good job keeping up with her on his walk. Now he should get some rest. She helps him back into bed, and he says, being in a hospital is a lot like being in a casino. You have no idea what time it is. (Didn’t Heather say that too?) Deanna says, his stab wound might be healing, but his aim is to regain his flexibility with two or three walks a day. He says, it’s always good to have a goal, and the guard handcuffs him back to the bed. The guard’s phone dings, and he says, there’s a disturbance on the third floor. They need his help. Jack says, take your time. He’s not going anywhere. Deanna says, they’ll be fine, and Jack thanks her. She follows the guard out, and Jack takes out a paperclip and undoes his cuff. He gets out of bed and finds some conveniently stashed scrubs in a drawer in his room.

Jason tosses the gunman’s gun aside and checks for a pulse. He hears someone and draws his gun, but it’s Anna coming in with her gun drawn. She says, he seems to have a dead man on his floor, and he says, there was a second shooter, but he got away. She asks if he got a look at him, but he says, no. He was too busy returning fire. She asks if he has any idea who sent them, and he says, she got here right after the shooting stopped. That’s perfect timing, unless she’s watching the place. She says, what? No, it was a coincidence. She was coming over here to get more details about Sonny attacking Dex. She heard shots and she drew her weapon. She’s going to call this in. She takes out her phone, they hear sirens, and she says, it appears someone beat her to it.

Sonny says he doesn’t have to explain himself to Carly after all her lies and broken promises. She says she never lied to him about Jason, and he says, just broken promises. Is that better? She asks if he knows what she thinks, and he says he’s sure he’s going to hear it. She says, he still hasn’t made up his mind about Jason. Deep down, Sonny still trusts him. He might want to hate Jason, but he still trusts him. He asks if that’s what she thinks and starts to leave, but she grabs his arm and says, wait a second. He came here for the reality check he knew she would give him, so here it is. He never had a friend like Jason, and he never will. And even now, after everything Sonny has accused him of, Jason still has his back. And he knows it. Deep down he feels it. He says, does he? and she says, does he know why he’s struggling with all of this? Because he can’t erase Jason from his life. And if they’re both being honest, he doesn’t want to. He says he didn’t come here to bare his soul to her. He’s going upstairs to see Blaze. She asks if he’s serious. Please tell her that he’s not going up there to ask Blaze to defend him to Kristina.

Blaze says she’s so sorry. Telling Molly was a complete accident. Kristina says, how? How does someone say something like that by accident? Blaze says she ran into Molly outside of Kelly’s. At first, it was a totally normal conversation. Then Molly wanted to talk about what happened with Kristina at the wedding, so she thought Molly knew about Kristina’s dad, but it turns out she was just fishing. Kristina says, of course (🍷) she was. Of course (🍷) she was just fishing. That’s what Molly does. She gets information out of people. She’s a lawyer. She’s a damn good one too. She can’t believe Blaze fell for that. Kristina gets up and Blaze follows. Blaze says, Molly could tell by her reaction that something had happened, and she was afraid that if she didn’t tell Molly, she would just ask Kristina and it would upset Kristina even more. So she told Molly what Kristina’s dad did to Dex and that she witnessed it and called Blaze from the ladies’ room. Kristina asks why Blaze didn’t tell her this right away, and Blaze says she didn’t want to make it a bigger thing that it was, so she assured Molly that Kristina and the baby are fine. Kristina says she highly doubts Molly believes Blaze. Molly and TJ are already convinced she’s not responsible enough to take care of this child as it is. Now, this is definitely not going to help. Blaze says she’s so sorry. If she could take it back, she would. Kristina says, this is really bad. Molly is an ADA. She has the power to prosecute Sonny even if Dex doesn’t file charges for himself. Blaze says, she seemed completely fine when they said goodbye. She didn’t seem upset at all. In fact, she said she was headed to their mom’s house. Did Kristina see her there? Did she say anything about it? Kristina says, no. She said nothing. And that makes it even worse.

Ava says she assumes Natalia is here to see Sonny. He isn’t home yet. She’s expecting him very shortly though. Natalia is welcome to wait if she’d like. Natalia says, okay, thanks, and Ava invites her in. She asks if she can get Natalia a drink, but Natalia says, no thank you. She actually comes bearing alcohol because she remembered that single malt scotch Sonny like so much, so she picked him up a bottle. Just to say thank you for inviting her to the Quartermaine wedding. Ava says, that’s so thoughtful. She heard it was a very lively affair, especially the reception. Natalia says, was it?

Jack slips out of his room wearing the scrubs. He goes out to a stairwell, leans on the railing, and says, son of a bitch. Valentin is at the top of the stairs, and Jack says, it took him long enough to make this happen. Valentin says he’s got to give Jack credit. Not everyone would stab themselves in the stomach. He doesn’t know how many people would have thought of that, since there are other ways to communicate. Jack says he’ll remember to tell Valetin that when he’s the one behind bars, and Valentin says, the last time they talked, they agreed they weren’t going to see each other face to face. So this better be important.

Jack says he has information that couldn’t wait, and Valentin walks down to him. Valentin asks where he got this information from and how much did it cost, and Jack says, suddenly now money’s an object? Nothing. It was completely free. It came from Carly Spencer. Valentin says, now Jack has his attention, and Jack says, Carly came to visit him in Pentenville. She wanted information, then let something of her own slip. He knows which three letter agency is investigating Pikeman – FBI. Valentin says, he heard that from Carly Spencer? and Jack says, it seems the FBI relocated an agent to Port Charles, specifically to investigate Pikeman. John Cates. Valetin says he’s aware of John’s presence, and Jack tells him, do the math. If the FBI went through the trouble to bring Agent Cates here, they can safely assume they’re also the ones responsible for creating Alan Jacobs aka Jason Morgan and having him infiltrate Pikeman. Valentin says, now they know that Jason Morgan is reporting to the FBI.

In the interrogation room, Ann comes in with a recorder and tells Jason, let’s start from the beginning, shall we? He says, she knows everything he already knows. He was working, and two men he didn’t recognize came into the warehouse. They opened fire; he fired back. One is dead and the other one ran away. She asks if he has any idea who might have sent the gunmen, but he says, no. She asks if anyone has threatened to kill him, and he says, ever? She says, recently, say, where it could have been overheard by witnesses, like outside the MetroCourt ballroom for instance. Diane walks in and says, okay. Not another word. An officer tells Anna that he’s sorry. He tried to stop her. Anna says she can handle it. Don’t worry. He leaves, and she says, Diane got here fast. Diane says she happened to be in the area and came right here when she got the call. So she’d like a word with him alone. Anna says, fine, and leaves. Diane asks Jason, who tried to kill you? and he says, there were two shooters. One’s dead and one got away, but she has to get to Sonny and warn him that the cops are going to come to question him.

Sonny says he doesn’t need Carly’s permission to tell him what’s best for his daughter, and starts to walk away. She says, come on. Wait. She knows how much he loves Kristina and how much he cares about that baby, but if he pressures Blaze to intervene with Kristina, he’s only going to push Kristina further away. He has to let Kristina reach out to him first. He says, what if she doesn’t? and Carly says, it might take longer than he wants, but he has to let Kristina come to terms with this on her own, and she’ll definitely contact him. Despite what Kristina saw him do, she loves him fiercely, and that doesn’t just go away. But if he tries to manipulate Blaze into talking to Kristina, Kristina is going to find out, and she’s going to see it as him going behind her back and that’s just going to make everything worse. He says he knows what’s best for his daughter and goes to the elevator. His phone rings, and he says, Brick, can this wait?… How many shots were fired?… Cops there?… All right. Thanks for letting him know. He’ll handle it.

Blaze says, considering the fact that Molly didn’t bring up what Sonny did to Dex means that she trusts Kristina, but Kristina says, really? They don’t even trust her to go to the grocery store or take a yoga class. Does Blaze think they’re going to be okay with the fact that she’s been hiding from them? That she freaked out in a public restroom after seeing her father brutally attack someone? Blaze says, she doesn’t even know that Molly told TJ, but Kristina says, she told TJ. If she hasn’t yet, she’s about to. This is so bad. Now they’re going to start putting more restrictions on her… Blaze says she knows Kristina is worried about a lot of things right now – her dad and the baby – but please don’t let herself spin out. Molly and TJ are rational people… Kristina says, Blaze doesn’t know them like she does, and Blaze says, Kristina… but Kristina says, no. She trusted Blaze. She trusted her more than anyone and Blaze has completely betrayed her. She walks out. (Please don’t let them break up. They have more chemistry than all the other couples put together.)

Diane says, Sonny just ordered a hit on Jason, and he’s worried about her warning him? and Jason says, she’s Sonny’s lawyer. It’s her job. She says she’s his lawyer too. And right now, she’s a lot more worried about keeping him alive than she is warning the man who just tried to have him killed. Her phone rings, and she sees it’s Sonny. Jason says, she should answer it. Go ahead. Diane answers, and Sonny says, Brick just told him there was trouble at the coffee warehouse. He rubs his forehead and says he needs her to meet him there. She says she’s sorry. She’s with another client at the moment, when Jason gestures to her. She says, hang on, putting the phone on mute, and Jason asks if that’s Sonny. She says, he wants her to meet him at the coffee warehouse, and Jason tells her, go. He’ll be fine. She says, he just shot and killed a man. He claims it’s self-defense, but there’s no guarantee the police are going to believe him. It’s more likely they won’t. He says, either Anna is going to release him or she’s not; either way, he’ll be fine. Sonny might not be. He’s going to say something incriminating if she’s not there to protect him. Diane says she’ll just assume Jason knows what he’s doing, and tells Sonny that she’s on her way. Sonny says he’ll see her there, and Jason thanks her. She says she wants him to think about something. While he’s in here worrying about Sonny, how does he know Sonny isn’t planning another hit on him? She leaves.

Ava says she takes it that means Natalia didn’t stay for the reception, but Natalia says she did. Sonny insisted she see the MetroCourt Garden all decked out for the party, so she couldn’t say no. Ava asks if she enjoyed herself, and Natalia says, it was an interesting evening. Sonny knew everybody, but she only knew her daughter, and Kristina of course (🍷). Ava asks if she stayed until the very end, and Natalia says she doesn’t know when Allison and Kristina left, but she got tired and Sonny was off socializing. She just thought she shouldn’t overstay her welcome, so she went up to bed. Ava says, it sounds like everybody had a lovely time. And it must have been nice for Sonny to see Blaze and Kristina so happy together. Just between the two of them, Kristina has been a bit of a problem child over the years. Natalia says, really (and I say, Ava, why?), and Ava says, she’s made some bad decisions. Luckily, Natalia’s daughter isn’t one of them. Natalia says, while they’re sharing, she has to say their relationship is a little too unconventional for her liking, and Ava says, in what way? Natalia says, they’re not really a normal couple, are they? Kristina is pregnant with her sister’s baby. She’s holding hands with Allison out in public. She’s scared to death someone is going to take a picture and sell it to the tabloids when her daughter’s career is taking off. It’s going to be such a scandal. Ava says, would it be? It’s 2024. She thinks most people seem to be very comfortable with both those things. And since Natalia and Sonny have struck up a friendship, she should know, career worries aside, Sonny is completely supportive of Kristina in every way, sexual identity included. Natalia says, it would seem so. She just can’t say she’s of the same mind.

Carly sees Kristina coming out of the elevator and calls to her. Kristina says she’s sorry. She was in her own head there for a minute. Carly says she knows Kristina has a lot on her mind, and Kristina says she does. Carly says, baby brain. It’s a real thing. She used to go to the freezer to get some ice cream and open the door and just stand there staring, wondering what she went there for, and the ice cream is sitting right there. (Am I pregnant???) She asks if Kristina is feeling okay, and Kristina says she feels great with the baby. Honestly, whenever she feels it kicking or moving around or making her uncomfortable, it’s kind of nice because she knows it’s safe and healthy. She knows it sounds kind of weird. Carly says, it doesn’t sound weird; it sounds perfect. Kristina says, it’s crazy how much she cares about this little life growing inside of her, considering it’s not hers. But it is hers for nine months, right? Carly says she thinks it’s amazing what Kristina is doing for her sister. It’s selfless. And this little baby may be her niece or nephew one day, but it’s always going to be a part of her. Kristina thanks her for saying that, and Carly says, just like Kristina is always going to be a part of her father.

Valentin tells Jack that they already knew Jason Morgan was working with one of the agencies. All Carly has done is confirm it was the FBI. Jack says he’s glad Valentin is taking the news so well, but it does present a problem. If Jason knows Valentin is heading up Pikeman… Valentin says, but he doesn’t. Otherwise, he’d be sharing a cell with Jack. Jack says, then don’t do anything to draw attention to himself. Leave Jason Morgan well alone.

Anna tells Jason that she just saw Diane leaving. Does he want to postpone this conversation until she can be present for it? He asks if he needs her, and she says, it’s his right. She encourages him to protect himself. He says he’s fine, and she says, okay. They found the dead guy’s ID. They put him through the system, and wouldn’t you know he’s had multiple run-ins with law enforcement. He’s a low-level member of an organization with ties to the big guys downstate. She shows him the gunman’s picture on her tablet and asks if Jason recognizes him. Jason says he’s been away for a long time, and Anna says she’ll take this as a yes. It seems his organization has done business with Sonny in the past. Jason tells her, like he said… She says, he’s been away a long time. She doesn’t believe this man was a stranger to him. She thinks Jason knows exactly who he worked for. Why doesn’t he just say it? It was Sonny who tried to have him killed.

At the warehouse, Detective Bennett says, Sonny needs to let them do their jobs, and Sonny asks what he’s talking about. This is his place. He’s checking the damage. Diane comes in and says she advised him not to talk to the police. Sonny asks where she’s been, and she says she got here as fast as she could. She introduces herself to Bennett, and he says, Detective Bennett. Please be advised that her client is a person of interest. She says, for what crime? Surely not this, because Mr. Corinthos wasn’t even in the building when shots were fired, so how could he be a person of interest? Bennett says, she’ll be able to get more information down at the station, and she says, fine. She’d like to speak with her client first, however. Please tell her that he’s not denying her client his right to speak with his attorney, because that’s not going to end well for him. He tells her, make it quick, and she says, oh, okay. Diane and Sonny go into the office, and Diane says, he knows she can’t help him unless he tells her the truth. Was he responsible for that?

Sonny says he can’t tell Diane what happened tonight, but he can tell her this, he had nothing to do with it. He wasn’t even here. Jason uses this place as his office. Maybe she should ask him the same question. She says, Jason was here tonight when two armed men broke in and started shooting at him, one of whom ended up very dead. If Sonny wants her to represent him to the very best of her ability, he has to tell her everything she needs to know before those cops take him into custody.

Anna tells Jason, sit down, and reluctantly, he does. He says he’s told her all he knows, and she asks if he has a death wish. He says, no, and she says, really? Because that’s not what it looks like. He just came within an inch of being killed tonight, and he’s still protecting Sonny. He says, he’s not… and she says, they both know that Sonny threatened to kill him the other day. How many bullets is Jason going to take for him? She gets loyalty. She understands it, but she thought he was smarter than this. He’s looking out for Sonny, and Sonny is sending people off to kill him. When does it end? And how much blood will be shed before it does?

Valentin says he’s meeting a very interesting side to Jack. Jack’s got issues, and he’s not just talking about the stitches in Jack’s side from his self-inflicted stab wound. He thinks Jack needs to relax. He thinks Jack needs to delegate, trust other people. Jack says he thinks Valentin is forgetting how he got where he is and the people who helped him do it. It took Valentin a long time to get to the top. It’ll only take him seconds – Jack looks down the stairs – to fall all the way back down. Valentin asks if they’re threatening each other, and Jack laughs. Valentin says he’s going to assume it’s the painkillers talking. So heal up and let him take care of everything. Jack says, they don’t even know what Jason told Cates about Pikeman’s operations, and Valentin says, assuming he knows anything. He may not. Jack says, Valentin wants to put their entire operation at risk over may not. Jason Morgan was smart enough to infiltrate Pikeman without getting caught. If he puts the pieces together… Valentin says, calm down. Once Jason Morgan figures things out – assuming he does – Sonny will already have taken him off the chessboard and saved them both the trouble. (Oh ho! Got it.)

Jack says he doesn’t know how long the guard will be occupied. He has to get back to his room before the guard does. Valentin says, okay, but can they get one thing straight? Once Sonny eliminates Jason, he’ll get word to Jack in Pentenville. Until then, they are not to talk to one another. Jack asks what he’s supposed to do. Stab himself again when he wants some fresh air? Valentin says, he’s an enterprising fellow. He’ll find something to do. Join a book club. Make a friend. It’ll be fine. Jack says, Valentin has been stalling for months. When the hell is Valentin going to get the charges against him dropped? Valentin says he hears Jack. He just needs a little bit more patience. Because if they shine a light on the WSB/Pikeman connection, it’s going to backfire. It’s all going to blow up in their face. So stay strong. Be patient. He has everything under control.

Kristina says, obviously, Carly knows what’s going on between her and her dad, and Carly asks if they can sit. Kristina nods, and they sit down. Carly says, Jason called her right after he broke up the fight. He told her that Kristina saw Sonny attack Dex and threaten to kill him. Kristina says, then she also knows everything Josslyn ever said about her dad is true and she’s so stupid for even arguing with her because Josslyn was right all along. Carly says she loves her daughter more than anything, but Josslyn has her own issues with Sonny, and Kristina tells her, it doesn’t even matter what Josslyn said. She knows what she saw, and she keeps seeing it over and over and over again. Watching her dad be so violent and out of control. Carly says, it must have been so awful for Kristina. She’s so sorry Kristina had to go through this. Kristina says she thinks it’s something that all of Sonny’s kids have to go through eventually, right? Carly knows that more than anyone with Michael. She’s just the idiot who took so long to finally see the truth. Carly says, she’s not an idiot, and Kristina says, not anymore, because now her eyes are wide open. And whether Dex files charges against her father or not, she’ll never forget what she saw her dad do. So now, she’s just ashamed she didn’t admit what she saw right in front of her sooner. Carly says, that’s because she wanted to see the best in Sonny. It’s because she loves her dad. Kristina says, Carly loved him too once, but does she think she really knew him?

Ava says, it sounds like Natalia doesn’t approve of her daughter’s relationship with Kristina, and Natalia tells her that she could say that. Ava says she doesn’t want to pry, but is it because they’re gay? and Natalia says, no. She’s not a prude. Whatever people do behind closed doors, that’s their own business. She just feels like gay people, or whatever alphabet soup they’re calling themselves these days, they’re flighty. They’re just not very serious about life. (Regardless of what she believes about sexual identity, that’s an odd statement to make.) Ava says she doesn’t think that’s true at all, but Natalia tells her that she just said herself that Kristina has had her own problems with bad decisions. Ava says, years ago. She was younger. You could say the same thing about a lot of straight people too. Kristina’s really gotten herself together. She works hard. She’s very serious about her baby. Natalia says, that choice of words is very interesting because it’s not really her baby now, is it? and Ava says, not in the way Natalia is talking about it, no. Natalia says, right. So she’s going to be pregnant for nine months, give birth, and just hand the baby over. To her, it just seems like Kristina and Allison think, wouldn’t it be so fun to have a baby because we don’t have to do any of the hard work or be serious about it. What are they going to do? Visit the child every once in a while, or take it to an amusement park sometimes? (I don’t think she understands how this works.) Ava says she’s sorry if this offends Natalia, but she thinks that is just a very unfortunate way to look at this beautiful thing that Kristina is doing for her sister. Natalia says, Ava is entitled to her opinion, as is she. She does try to stay open-minded. It’s just that if her way of thinking is considered old fashioned, so be it. (It’s not even old fashioned; it’s just weird.)

Anna says she knows how deep Jason’s loyalty to Sonny goes. She used to look at him through rose colored glasses herself. But what if the person he used to know no longer exists? Or worse, it was an illusion all along, and Sonny never really was the man Jason believed him to be? (That would be one long ruse.) An officer comes in with an evidence bag containing a phone and says, forensics thought Anna would want to look at what they found. She thanks him and he leaves. She puts on gloves and tells Jason that it might have been useful for reporting back to whoever it was that ordered the kill.

Natalia gets up and asks Ava to do her a favor and make sure Sonny gets her gift. Ava says, of course (🍷). She’ll walk Natalia out. Ava opens the door and says she enjoyed their chat. They should do it again sometime. Natalia says, perhaps, and leaves. Ava closes the door and sits down. She sees that her phone was still on record and listens to Natalia saying that she just feels like gay people, or whatever alphabet soup they’re calling themselves these days, are flighty and not very serious about life. She half-smiles.

Carly tells Kristina that she married a complicated man, and she knew that going in. And without making excuses for Sonny, he was capable of many things – great love, great anger. She watched Sonny have incredible highs and amazing lows, but he was never downright cruel. He always had a reason for doing what he did, and he never hurt someone just because he could. Kristina asks if she thinks he’s the same man now, or does she think he’s changed? and Carly says, that’s hard to answer because they’re not as close as they used to be, so she doesn’t know. But what she does know is the bond that Kristina has with him. Her father loves her more than anything. He brags about her all the time. He would give up his life for her. So she has to decide how much that matters, and where it fits into the relationship she has with Sonny, along with the stuff she’s learned about him recently. About to cry, Kristina says, what if it doesn’t fit at all? and Carly takes her hand and says, then she’s going to have to really think about if she can live her life without her dad.

Sonny tells Diane that he’s been trying to figure out what those guys wanted, but nothing makes any sense. They’re a coffee warehouse. It’s not like they have product here that anybody wants to steal. They don’t keep a large amount of cash here. He opens a desk drawer, takes out a metal box, and says, they do have small bills for cash expenses. He opens the box and says, everything is right there. Does she see that? She says, all right. So it wasn’t about the money. They must have had some other target in mind. He says, whatever they wanted, they didn’t get it, and Jason made them pay for breaking in. So why is it his problem?

The guard sees the door to Jack’s room is open a bit and hurries in. Jack raises the hand that has the cuff on it and says, miss me? The guard closes the door, and Jack smiles.

Anna tells Jason, only one number in the call history. She’d really like to know who it belongs to. She dials the number, and it rings a few times. Valentin says, is it done… Just tell him if it’s been done. Anna looks stunned, and Valentin frowns and hangs up.

Tomorrow, Chase tells Brook that it’s the best way to pay tribute to his dad; Elizabeth talks to Finn about his drinking; Drew asks how Carly feels about the possibility of that; and Sonny says he has to confess something.

🔎 Reviewing the Situation…

I have some things coming up in my life that, while positive, will require a lot of my time, so I had to rethink what I’m doing with my time now. I adore GH and while it might sound weird, I even enjoy typing it out. It’s sort of like being sucked into their world and leaving mine behind for a while. However, the reality shows have become another story.

Personally, I think the Housewives are dead, but Andy won’t let them lie down. I’m not sure what it is about these shows in general, but they’re all starting to smell like The Real World did when it took a turn from being incredibly interesting and something to look forward to, to a mess of drunken hot tub sex. It’s like they start off well, but within a few seasons, it turns into one big screaming match, or worse. I have the feeling production has a lot to do with it, possibly using cattle prods to urge the cast to create drama for screen time. I’m sure alcohol doesn’t hurt either. It isn’t quite as bad in the shows where there’s an actual job involved, like Below Deck, but where the hell are they getting some of these crew members? And who knows what will happen with Vanderpump Rules? I think Lisa should move on rather than mother a new brood at SUR. It’s all been too much of a steady diet of argument and angst. In an informal poll of my friends, we all agreed that we’d rather less arguing, more fun.

Perhaps production is catching on. The most embarrassing Housewives of all, New Jersey, aren’t even having a Reunion due to animosity. (See below.) And another season at all is questionable. Good job, Teresa. But here’s a thought. Maybe it’s time to scrap the whole thing and do something fresh. Or at least actually real. The exception seems to be the 90 Day Fiancé franchise on TLC. The first time I watched it wasn’t on purpose. I thought it sounded stupid, but I was waiting for the next show to come on. I was immediately hooked and have loved the spinoffs. These people are going through a real process and have real problems. Not whether or not they can get on a yacht with their sister-in-law or if they can be in the same room as their lying, cheating ex while they’re living their best life.

While I won’t leave them behind totally, it’s time for them to go into the background. Less time spent with others’ stories and more time spent on my own. So recaps will be less detailed, some scrapped altogether, and GH possibly only a couple of times a week, but always on a Friday. I hope those of you who read this blog will come along for the overhaul, and if there are ever any ideas for change or improvement, let me know.

https://people.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-14-reunion-canceled-exclusive-8655924

Below Deck Mediterranean

Aesha is back as chief stew and so is Captain – teamwork makes the dream work – Sandy, on a 180-foot yacht called the Mustique. This season is in Greece, and from the preview, it looks like there will be some crying too. No doubt after drinking. There’s already a leak in the forward cabin, so we’re off to a good start.

Iain (pronounced Ian), who was called Mr. Magoo by his parents prior to landing on his misspelled name, is the bosun. Chef Jono, who calls himself a culinary architect, will be providing the food porn this season. Elena is back and aspiring to be a chief stew. Nathan, Joe, and Gael are the deckhands, and Bri is another stew. Bri says she has room to improve with her cocktail skills, but I get an inexperienced overall vibe. Elena thinks the crew is exceptionally good looking, but it’s rare when one of them isn’t. There are no ugly people in yachting. The deckhands are bummed to find out Gael is taken, by an engineer no less.

Influencer Jacob is the first primary, bringing along his fellow internet besties. In Aesha’s interview, she can’t believe these kids are taking pictures and living it up on a superyacht, while she’s living in a van with her boyfriend and sh*tting in a bucket. When the provisions come in, the provisioner is having some issues, so there’s no wine, prosecco, or champagne. At the protocol meeting, Captain Sandy tells them, pressure makes us better. I must be perfect by now. Luckily Aesha finds one bottle of champagne in the crew mess for the welcome.

The guests are very young and very excited. Captain Sandy finally calls the provisioner, not asking, but telling them to send wine. The provisioner agrees to send over a few things until their bigger order can get there. There’s still no rosé or red wine, and the captain tells them, it’s unacceptable.

Athens is the oldest capital city in Europe, and the captain points out all the places that aren’t covered in tourists, but will be now. Like that lake in the Progressive commercial. Bri grew up with a maid and finds laundry a real challenge. She takes so long, Aesha wonders if she’s blowing on the garments to dry them. In Bri’s interview, we find out she’s never made it through a season in her three years of yachting. There’s the usual battle with the slide, and not surprisingly, the guests record everything for social media posterity. They’re not too happy about the laundry delay and not wrong in saying, it’s a great service, but if it can’t be fulfilled, it’s bullsh*t. Aesha finds out provisions have gone in the wrong water taxi and tells the provisioner, your company f***ing sucks. The chef doesn’t have lobster either, and decides to work with the crab legs he wisely bought.

Elena travels with her costumes, which she says are 10% PG-13, and wears a sequined top with metallic spandex pants to serve dinner. There’s a disco party afterward, even though this bunch wasn’t a twinkle in their parents’ eyes in the 70s. Maybe even their grandparents. There’s a confetti gun involved, and all I can think is, someone is going to have to clean up that mess. Late night munchies are requested after the guests get in the hot tub, and in her interview, Elena says she feels overwhelmed and needs help. She tries to wake Jono to rustle up some snacks, and he says, I don’t think so. Nice, since a good portion of the tip relies on food. Rather than press the issue, Elena tells the guests that all they have is grilled cheese. One of them wonders what’s in grilled cheese. Maybe he should actually take a look at the internet sometime instead of just posting content.

While Elena is wondering what the hell she’s going to do, somehow the guests coral Gael and demand the drinks they’ve been waiting for. Gael ends up helping Elena out, and in Elena’s interview she says, Jono’s selfish behavior is making her look bad. She gives waking him up another try, and in Jono’s interview, he says he hates being woken up. Aw, me too, princess. Elena tells him that she’s giving him another chance before this becomes a problem for him. It isn’t going to be good for him. In his interview, Jomo says, bitch, are you stupid? This is not going to be good for you.  

Next time, missing pants, Elena in tears, and the first crew night out.

Best quote tonight: Nothing’s lost until mom can’t find it. – Iain Maclean

Meet the cast:

https://www.eonline.com/photos/37027/below-deck-mediterranean-season-9-meet-the-cast

💘 Another Shocking Twist…

Didn’t see this one coming, but it’s cute.

https://www.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital/ghs-josh-kelly-and-chloe-lanier-are-dating

🍹 Ladies Who Lunch…

Looks like stiff competition this year, but no surprise, I’m rooting for Finola Hughes.

https://www.soapsindepth.com/gallery/general-hospital/inside-the-emmy-nominated-actresses-lunch

💣 The Victor Before the Last One…

What the original bad guy is up to now.

https://www.soapsindepth.com/posts/days-of-our-lives/catch-up-with-soap-star-thaao-penghlis

🎷 They’ve Got Essence…

This looks like an amazing line-up.

https://www.essence.com/gallery/efoc-2024-performers/

🐩 Most Trusted…

Much easier than caring for an actual celebrity.

https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/blog/pets/favorite-famous-pets/

🌻 Because It’s June…

Join me next time for soap and whatever’s worthy. Until then, stay safe, stay enjoying what summer life has to offer, and stay not promising a great service if it can’t be fulfilled. Or as Captain Lee would say, don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash.