What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
TJ walks into the gym, where Michael is sparring with Drew. Drew asks, what is this? Is Michael taking it easy on him because he’s family? Michael asks, since when does their family go easy on each other? and Drew says, that’s a good point. Michael says he supposes he’s a little stressed. Nina is taking them to court. Drew says, over Wiley? and Michael says, yeah. And he talked Willow into fighting back in a way that might have some serious repercussions. They spar some more, when Marshall walks in. TJ tells Marshall, he just saw Aunt Stella, and she fussed all over him like he’s not eating enough. Marshall says, sounds like she’s back to her old self; that’s good. TJ says, he made sure to let Uncle Curtis know. Nothing’s more important to him than family.
Portia says she’s seen Jordan go outside the law time and time again for her family. Jordan says, and it’s brought nothing but trouble, which is why she has to play everything by the book. Portia says, of course (🍷) she does now, because it’s Portia’s daughter they’re talking about, which begs the question… Never mind. Jordan says, clearly Portia wants to say something, so say it, and Portia asks if Jordan is making this personal. Jordan says she has no reason to make this personal, and Curtis comes by and stops. Portia says, really? Because she can think of one; he used to be her husband. Curtis says, ladies, take a breath before something is said that you can’t take back.
Spencer sits at the counter at Kelly’s, and Cameron suggests he put on an apron and help, but Spencer says, all his energy has to go into busting Esme right now. Cameron says, some of us can chew gum while we work, and Spencer says, Cameron didn’t tell Joss anything about his plan, right? when Josslyn walks in with Trina. Josslyn tells Trina, maybe they should try Charlie’s.
Valentin tells Anna, he considered bringing roses, and she says, but they die. He says, whereas this 2010 Bordeaux is immortal. She says she does like roses though, and takes the bottle from him. She asks how he is, and he says he’s better now that he’s looking at her.
Harmony says, no matter what she’s done, she’s done it for Willow, and Willow asks what she means, done it for her? What has she done? Harmony says, for one, she declined Nina’s lawyers request to speak on Nina’s behalf at the hearing. She hopes it doesn’t backfire. Willow says, there’s no backstab that woman won’t sink to. First, Nina tries to get Harmony to convince her, Harmony’s own daughter, to see Wiley. Now she wants Harmony to go against Willow in court. How does anyone so underhanded live with herself? Harmony says she wishes she knew.
Alexis goes to Pier 54, and sees Neil floating face down in the water. She says, oh my God.
Anna asks, how was Valentin’s convalescence? and he says, it was too long. The wine is an apology. He’s sorry he stayed away and was out of touch. She says she was worried when she couldn’t reach him, but understands his health takes a priority. How’s Charlotte? He says, she’s away at her new boarding school. She seems happy enough. Anna says she didn’t realize Charlotte was away, and he says, it was a quick decision, but ultimately a good one. They sit, and she says, it must be very lonely for him when he returns home and she’s not there. He says, he’ll survive. He heard she’s been doing some traveling. She says, not for pleasure, and he says, congratulations. It was a long and winding road, but she stopped Peter. She says, we did.
Marshall tells TJ, let’s see who can lift more, and TJ says, that’s easy money, old man. Marshall says, famous last words coming from I-need-more-meat-on-my-bones, and TJ says, that’s according to Aunt Stella. He could weigh a million pounds, and she’d still say the same thing. Marshall says, he’s probably right, and TJ says, but he’s worried about her. He hopes she finds a way to manage her anxiety. Marshall says, Stella’s a tough cookie, but TJ says, being strong has nothing to do with mental anxieties. She has to seek out that treatment. Does Marshall know what’s on her mind? Marshall says, TJ’s Aunt Stella doesn’t confide in him, but TJ says, it seemed that way. They had their heads together right before she collapsed. In the ring, Drew says, that’s what I’m talking about; he’s back. He tells Michael that he isn’t doing anything wrong. He would fight for his kid the same way. Michael says he’s not sure Drew would approve of his tactics though, and Drew says he’d be surprised. Let him guess. Michael is employing questionable strategies to get necessary results. Michael says, yeah, and Drew says, believe him, he’s been there.
Curtis, Portia, and Jordan go to Portia’s office, and Curtis says he thinks it’s best if they do this in private. Jordan says she doesn’t think they need to do this at all, and Portia says, so she doesn’t think they should address the elephant in the room, especially since it impacts her daughter. Jordan says, she was with Curtis, now he’s with Portia. Neither of those facts have any bearing on Trina’s situation. Portia says, but it could have an impact on how vigorously Jordan pursues other suspects and other theories. Given that Trina is her blood, can Jordan tell her honestly that she can be impartial? Curtis suggests they step back. No one is questioning Portia’s right to fight for Trina, and no one is questioning Jordan’s professionalism. Jordan asks if he’s in the same room she is. She resents the implication that her feelings towards Curtis have any bearing on her actions as Police Commissioner, let alone something as important as this. Portia says, so Jordan admits she still has feelings for Curtis.
Trina says they’re not going anywhere, and Josslyn says, agreed. Spencer’s the one who should leave. Spencer asks how Trina is doing, and Trina says, does it matter? He says, of course (🍷) it matters, and Josslyn says, then get his psycho girlfriend to fess up already. Spencer asks if they can please not talk about Esme, and Josslyn says she thought it was his favorite subject. Cameron says, Spencer was just heading out, right? and Josslyn asks why Spencer is even there in the first place. Britt walks in, and Spencer says, it is a public space last he checked. Josslyn says, she means with Cameron. Just like them, he wants nothing to do with Spencer. Cameron says, Spencer came to ask about being put back on the schedule, and Josslyn says, Cameron isn’t considering giving Spencer his job back. Spencer asks how it’s her business, and Josslyn says, Trina is her best friend and Spencer hurt her… Spencer says he wants to protect Trina too.
Drew says Michael is a good father. He’s going to make the right decision for his family. Michael thanks him, and asks, how’s Scout? Drew says, fantastic. She asked him to coach her swim team. Michael says he’s happy for Drew. Now that things are settled on the Scout front, what’s next? Drew asks him to narrow that down, and Michael says, in terms of his career, what does Drew’s future look like?
Rory asks if Alexis is cold; he has a blanket in the car. She says she’s just shocked, and he asks if she knew the victim. She says, he was face down, so she didn’t see him. She hopes not. Finding a dead body was not in her plans today. He asks if she can tell him what she had planned. Why was she at the pier, and what was she doing when she found the body? She says she was on her way to Spoon Island. Her nephew lives there, and she was going to visit him.
Willow asks if Harmony is really all right, and Harmony says, yes. It’s just been a helluva a day, but it’s so much better now that she’s sitting with Willow. Can they change the subject? How’s nursing school going? Willow says, she’s studying hard for her final exam, and Harmony says, wow. Willow is graduating nursing school. She’s unbelievably proud of Willow. Willow says, back at her, and Harmony says, Willow is proud of her? Willow asks if she wasn’t listening before. Yes. Harmony has made mistakes, but she’s taken responsibility and put them behind her. Harmony says she hopes Willow knows that doesn’t mean she won’t make more mistakes. She has weaknesses like everyone else. Willow says, that’s exactly her point. Harmony owns up to those weaknesses. She admits who she was and what she did, and who she hopes to be. It’s honest and it’s very brave. So is Willow proud of her? Damn straight she is.
Curtis says, he thinks what really matters is that they’re all doing their best for Trina, and Portia says, that’s what she’s trying to do, but he can’t defend the fact that Jordan isn’t even trying to help. She tells them that she needs to take a minute; please excuse her. She leaves, and Curtis says, Portia’s under a lot of pressure. Jordan says she knows, and she’d be doing the same thing if she were in Portia’s shoes. She’s worried about her kid; Jordan gets that. He thanks her for understanding, and not losing her cool. He’s sure it’s frustrating for Portia, not knowing the whole truth, and Jordan says, as Commissioner, she’s as committed to finding out the truth as they are. She’s doing everything she can to look deeper. He says he knows, and appreciates it, along with her calling him when Trina was brought in for questioning. About what Portia said about her feelings… Jordan’s phone rings, and she says, work. She leaves as she answers the call.
Spencer says he’s still Trina’s friend, and Josslyn says, oh my God. He’s a really good friend. He’s protecting a criminal who violated them, and framed Trina for it. Spencer says, someday Josslyn is going to be embarrassed that she assumed the worst in him, and Josslyn asks if that’s a threat. Britt tells Spencer, they should leave. Now. He tells Trina that he hopes they can talk soon, and she says, thanks, but she thinks she’s heard enough from him. He leaves with Britt.
Anna tells Valentin, it was always her intention to hold Peter accountable, so his victims could have their day in court; some kind of closure. But in the end, Peter gave into his worst impulses. He was almost a mirror image of Faison. She couldn’t allow that to continue. Valentin says he doesn’t blame her. Peter couldn’t be redeemed. There was nothing left to do. Just put him in the ground and keep the world safe from him. She and Felicia did that. She says, but it was her call not to summon help. She let Peter die.
At the MetroCourt, Spencer says, now that he and Britt are seated, why are they here? She says, his antics cost her the coffee she wanted at Kelly’s. He can order what he wants; it’s on her. He says she doesn’t have to buy him dinner, but she says, don’t worry; he’ll be singing for his supper. What’s happening with his friends? He says he’s pretty sure they’d say former friends now, but she says, no way. He, Cameron, and Josslyn have been getting into mischief since they were adorable little twerps. He says, they grew up, and she says, they grew up and started threatening each other? He says, it wasn’t a threat; Josslyn misunderstood. Britt says, maybe he needs to make Josslyn understand, and he says, what he was trying to tell Josslyn is, she’d be sorry she accused him of not caring what happened to them. She asks if he’s talking about the sex tape, and he nods. She says she doesn’t understand why they’d think he wouldn’t care, and he says, because he’s still with Esme. Or not not with her. They think she’s responsible for the sex tape. Britt says, okay. What does he think?
Drew tells Michael that he doesn’t know what his plans are. There’s Aurora obviously. He just hasn’t found his sweet spot yet. Michael says he’d like to bounce some ideas off Drew, and Drew says, always. Michael says he has some ideas on how to grow digital, and Drew says, just the way Michael is talking about it; that passion. He wishes he had as much passion for the company. Michael says, there’s always ELQ, but Drew says, that’s dicey territory with the family. Michael says, with their family, what isn’t? Has Drew given any thought into getting his shares back from Valentin?
Valentin tells Anna, don’t feel guilty, but she says, she denied medical attention to her own nephew. She waited and watched as he took his last breath. He asks if Peter could have even been saved, but she says, they’ll never know, will they? And she carried that burden. She feels at peace a little bit, and he says, good. She says, she realizes they can talk all they want about their responsibility for who Peter became, but the fact is, Peter was an adult. He forged his own path, and at every opportunity, he chose the wrong one. He says, she’s a hero, but she says, God no. She would not say that. He tells her, he’s saying it, and she asks if he would have done the same. He says, absolutely, and that last breath Peter took? He would have enjoyed watching Peter take it.
Willow says she’s going to grab and get a quick hug from Michael before she goes to the hospital, and Harmony says, ah, young love. Willow says, not so young anymore, and Harmony says, bite your tongue. Willow asks if Harmony’s sure she’s okay, and Harmony says she’s got to get used to being alone and on her own. Willow asks what she means, and Harmony says, she’s going to be moving out of Alexis’s eventually. Willow says, Harmony may be living alone, but she has them. Which reminds her. Is Harmony going to have some free time soon to take Wiley to the aquarium? He’s on this huge aquatic animal kick and she knows he’d love it. Harmony says, not more than she would; sign her up. Willow says she really wants Wiley to spend more time with his grandmothers, the ones that care, and deserve to be in his life. That’s you, by the way. Harmony says she can’t wait, and they hug. Willow says she’ll set it up and text Harmony, and leaves. Harmony taps on her empty glass.
Marshall asks if his grandson picked his specialty yet, and TJ says he’s still weighing his options, but assisting in surgeries has been really exciting. Marshall asks, what about it gets TJ’s heart pumping? And TJ says, he thinks it’s the constant mastery that’s required. Like when he first picked up an orthoscope. It felt so foreign, but now it’s like an extension of his arm. Marshall says he feels that way every time he picks up his clarinet, and TJ says, a surgical team is like a band. Marshall scats, as TJ says, you’ve got nurses, anesthesiologists, the surgical techs. Everyone lending their individual talent to make a symphony. Marshall says he doesn’t think he’s ever heard of a band being compared to saving lives, but passion is passion. He’s so happy TJ found his.
Rory says, so after getting a closer look, Alexis confirmed it was a body in the water, and then called 9-1-1. Alexis says, correct, and Jordan arrives. She says, if Alexis is done with her statement, she’s free to go. Alexis picks up her stuff, and starts to leave, and Rory says, the driver’s license confirms the deceased as Brendon Byrne. Alexis comes back, and asks if he said Brendon Byrne, and Jordan asks if she knows him. Alexis says, she does.
Anna tells Valentin, she did what she did. She doesn’t think she regrets it, but she’s not a hero. He says, maybe none of us are. She weighed her misgivings about letting Peter die against her desire to end the torment of others, and sacrificed her peace of mind to do it. He thinks that’s pretty heroic. She’s not convinced? She asks if he would be if it was him, and he says, yes. He doesn’t have a problem making impossible decisions. He flashes back to hiding behind the wall in French Polynesia, and eavesdropping on Anna telling Felicia, once they find Françoise Olivier, they’ll find the truth. He tells Anna, he’d never judge her for that, and hopes she’d never judge him.
Spencer says, the evidence points to Trina, and Britt says, that doesn’t answer her question. Does he believe Trina filmed and released that video? He says, she swears she didn’t. So does Esme. It doesn’t matter who he believes. Either way, someone ends up hurt. She says, it’s a crappy position, and he asks if she’s been there. Where doing the right thing can make people hate you? She says, more than once. It might shock him, but interpersonal relationships are not her strong suit. Once you’re known for less honorable intentions, it’s hard for people to recognize your good ones. He says, hard, but not impossible, right? There is still hope for him and his friends.
Cameron says, he doesn’t want to come off like he’s Team Spencer – Josslyn says, she hates this already – but he’s got to be in a weird position. Josslyn says, in what universe? and Cameron says, it must be a mind trip to be told your long time girlfriend is a nightmare. Josslyn says, she has zero patience for this angst Spencer might be feeling. There’s a right and a wrong here, and it’s so glaringly obvious, but Spencer’s so far under Esme’s spell, he refuses to see it. Trina says she needs a minute and gets up. Josslyn asks if Trina wants her to come along, but Trina says she’s good, and heads for the restroom. Josslyn says, sticking up for Spencer? Really? Cameron says, he’s not sticking up for Spencer, and she says, it sure sounded like it. He says, he’s just trying to put things in perspective, and she says, there is no perspective, and he says, he heard her; there’s a right and a wrong… She says, he doesn’t agree? but he says he does. She says, he’s letting Spencer in here, hanging out. She asked Spencer to leave, and he said nothing. Whose side is he on?
Portia comes back into her office and sees Curtis sitting in one of the chairs. She says she thought he left by now, and he asks if that’s what she wants. She says, no, but she wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. He says, he had to see if she was okay, and hugs her. She says she’s so sorry, and he says, about what? She says she’ll start at the top. For causing a scene, for going off on Jordan when she didn’t deserve it. And somehow, she was able to make Trina’s arrest about the three of them. He says, no apologies necessary. She was terrified for her daughter. Nobody expects her to hold that in. She says, maybe not, but she could have done a better job. Good God. She accused Jordan of punishing Trina because she happens to be with Curtis now. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her; she’s overthinking everything. He says, nothing is wrong with her. She’s frustrated. He gets it. She asks if he thinks Jordan will get it too.
Jordan asks how Alexis knew Brendon, and Alexis says, he is… was the brother of her ex, Neil Byrne. Jordan says, local? but Alexis says, he’s not from Port Charles. Jordan asks, when was the last time Alexis saw him? and Alexis says, at Neil’s funeral a while back. Then just the other day. Jordan says, so Alexis spent time with Mr. Byrne while he was in Port Charles, but Alexis says she wouldn’t consider it spending time. He stopped by her office; he needed help. Jordan asks, what kind of help? and Alexis says, financial. Maybe he was looking for a job. Jordan says, why Alexis, and why now, so long after the funeral? Alexis says, that’s what she’d like to know, especially after the way he treated her after the funeral. Jordan says, she takes it Alexis and the deceased weren’t on the best terms.
Drew tells Michael, he wishes he could stop dragging his feet. He needs to make a decision about those shares. Marshall comes by, shakes hands with Drew, and says he’s ready to pursue that job Drew offered, but Drew says, he’s sorry. The board already greenlit another candidate. Marshall says, they spoke about it a few days ago, and Drew said they were still interviewing. Drew says, they were, until the right fit came along. He’s sorry, but if another opportunity comes along, he’ll let Marshall know. Marshall says, will he? It’s hard not to wonder if Drew ever had any intention of giving him a job. Michael says he’ll give them some privacy, but Drew says, that’s not necessary, and tells Marshall, with all due respect, Marshall didn’t follow up. Marshall says, so they had to move on, and Drew says, that’s right. Marshall says, Drew and his son. They got all they needed from that fake interview. TJ joins them, and asks what Uncle Curtis has to do with this. Marshall says, should Drew tell him, or should he? Without giving Drew a chance to answer, Marshall says, Curtis and this man came up with a fake job opportunity to get him to agree to a background check. TJ says, no, but Marshall says, yes. Just curious. Who pitched it first? Was it Drew? Must be nice having all that time and money on his hands. Michael says, this isn’t necessary, but Drew says, let Mr. Ashford say his piece. Marshall says, not all of us are born with silver spoons in our mouths. Some of us have to work to survive. Then again, Drew wouldn’t understand that, would he? Marshall leaves, and TJ follows him. Michael says, he’s got Drew all wrong, but Drew says, actually, Marshall summed up his situation perfectly.
Curtis says, Jordan understands the pressure Portia is under, and won’t hold it against her. Portia says she still needs to apologize, and she will, but she doesn’t thinks she’s entirely wrong. He says, about? and she says she knows he left his marriage behind, but can he honestly say Jordan has too? He says he doesn’t know, but he does know Jordan won’t let her feelings impact the case. With Jordan, work always comes first. Their divorce is a testament to that. She says, she saw the look he and Jordan gave each other when she said Jordan wasn’t impartial, and he says, Jordan believes there’s more to Trina’s case than meets the eye. She says, Trina feels the same way too. She’s glad somebody is finally confirming that. What is Jordan doing to dig deeper? He says, she’s doing what she can, but Portia knows how it goes. Portia says, she can’t give him any details; of course (🍷). It doesn’t matter. At least, it’s comforting to know that Jordan doesn’t believe the case should be closed. He says, not by long shot.
Cameron says, he’s on the side of truth, and Josslyn asks what that even means. Trina comes back, and says, please tell her they’re not still talking about Spencer. Cameron says, he’s ready to move on, but Josslyn says, she’s not. Please tell her he’s not putting Spencer back on the work schedule. Trina says, don’t block him because of her, and Josslyn says, he deserves to be blocked. Cameron says, what if he needs the money? but Josslyn says, he doesn’t. He has no right to work here. Cameron says, it’s his call, and if Spencer wants his job back, he’s not getting in his way. Josslyn says, and if he’s in their way? and Cameron says, maybe they should find another place to hang out.
Anna says, there’s no judgement between her and Valentin; there never is. Oddly, she trusts him. He says, and he trusts her, and she says, his father, not so much. Has he seen Victor lately? He says, no, why? and she says, it doesn’t matter. It’s nice to have him back. She missed her compatriot while he was away. He asks if that’s what he’s been reduced to, and she asks if he wants to be something more. Should she open the wine? He says, he’d like nothing more, but he has to take a raincheck. She says, big plans? and he says, something like that. She puts the wine on the bar, and says, it will be here when next he comes. He says he wishes he’d been there with her when Peter died. He understands completely that she’s capable of taking care of it on her own. She says, she thinks it had to be her doing it without him, and he says he gets that. They’ve been together all along. He just wishes they could have seen it through together. She wishes that too, but she thinks being alone is what she needed; certainly not what she wanted. He says, she had Dante and Drew, and Felicia. She says, they were incredible, but in that moment, when she looked down and saw Peter was done, all she wanted was to look up and see him.
Harmony drains her drink, and gets up. She asks the bartender to remind her where the restroom is, and he says, second door on the right. She says, of course (🍷), duh. Like she’s never been here before. She walks out, leaving Brendon’s bag at the bar, with her folder sticking out.
Alexis says she’d like to go, but Jordan says she has one more question. Alexis mentioned Brendon had fallen on hard times. Did he strike her as being desperate enough to end his life? Alexis asks if Jordan thinks it’s suicide, but Jordan says, she doesn’t know. She’ll need to wait for the medical examiner’s report, but she’s not ruling anything out. Alexis starts to leave, and Jordan says she thought Alexis was heading to Spoon Island. Alexis says she’s not in the mood to visit anyone now, and Jordan asks if that’s because she knew Brendon, or because the circumstances of his death are suspect. Alexis says, if Jordan has more questions, she needs to talk to Alexis’s attorney Diane Miller. Alexis thinks she knows Diane. Jordan says she thought Alexis would say that, and Alexis leaves.
Britt tells Spencer, the only thing he has control over is himself. Trust his gut, no matter the fallout. He thanks her, and she says, it’s pretty generic advice, but if it helped, she’s happy. He says, she always helps. Since he was a little kid she’s always been there for him, despite his many screw-ups. She says, many, many, many screw-ups, and he says, having her in his life has made a world of difference. She tells him, whatever mistakes he’s made, he’s worthy of love. Remember that. He says, only if she does too, and thanks her for dinner. She says, anytime, and he leaves. She takes out her phone, and says she doesn’t care what her mother says. He’s kind of cute.
Josslyn says she can’t believe Cameron isn’t backing her on this, after what he did to Trina. He says, he knows what Spencer did to Trina is all kinds of wrong, but they’re talking about a job here, not matching BFF tattoos. Josslyn says, Cameron is doing Spencer a favor, and she can’t understand why, and Trina says, it’s okay, but Josslyn says, it’s not okay. Guys always forgive each other. Cameron says, that’s ridiculous, and Josslyn says, but true. He asks if he’s lumped in with all the guys now, and she says, it’s news to her too, but apparently her boyfriend is part of the almighty boys club. She could never be civil to Spencer, after he stood by that witch… Cameron says, she could if she knew what Spencer was up to.
Portia says she never asked Curtis why he’s here at the hospital, and he says he’s more concerned about her, but she says, she’s not buying that. Something is wrong. Is it Aunt Stella, or… He says, no she’s fine, but Portia is on the right track; it has to do with family. Curtis’s phone rings, and he asks if she minds. She says, take it, and he asks Drew, what’s up? Drew says, Marshall was just here, and Curtis asks, what happened? Drew says, he knows the job at Aurora was a set-up. He tried to convince Marshall otherwise, but he was too quick. Curtis asks, how’d he take it? and Drew says, not well. He’s sorry. Curtis says, don’t be. His father’s whole life is built on lies. He should realize that one day they’ll catch up to him.
Alexis orders a cranberry and soda at the MetroCourt bar, but Harmony comes toddling back, and says, no. She puts Brendon’s bag on the bar, and says, Alexis will have what she’s having.
Jordan calls Rory over to Brendon’s body, and asks what he sees. He says, red marks near the victim’s trachea, and she says, there’s blood pooling under the skin. Were these injuries sustained pre or post mortem? He says, no time to bruise, so the injuries were probably sustained hours before he was in the water. She says, very good. And what can he tell her about the shape of the marks? He says, consistent with fingers. So he was grabbed, but when? She says, that’s the million dollar question. The answer may tell us if it was suicide, an accident, or straight up murder.
Anna walks Valentin to the door, and asks if Valentin took lots of walks when he was recuperating. He wonders why she’d ask that, and she says, because he got tan. He says, walks. It’s amazing what getting your legs moving will do for your mind and your spirit. He’ll see her again soon. Save him a glass of the Bordeaux. He leaves, and she leans on the door and sighs. There’s a knock, and she opens the door, asking if he forget something. He pulls her closer, and kisses her. She kisses back, and he leaves, walking backward a few steps. She touches her fingers to her lips.
Tomorrow, Laura says someone is suspect number one; Esme asks if Nikolas has changed his mind about her; Alexis asks who Harmony is terrified of; and Sonny says, case closed, that’s it.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Still inflicting themselves on Nashville, Joe #2 puts stuffed toys in Frank’s bed as Frank sleeps. It doesn’t take Frank long to figure out what’s going on, since all these guys do on their off-time is act like the Jersey Stooges. Frank tells Dolores that he had trouble sleeping; the night before was out of control. Dolores says, Marge is too involved with Teresa’s relationship, because God forbid she should call out appalling behavior from the sainted one. Frank tells her that Marge wasn’t badmouthing Luis. She was just asking questions. Marge was disgusted with Teresa’s psychotic antics, and Bill wondered where zen Theresa was. He and Jennifer checked on the kids, which was an absolute waste of air time. Dolores and Frank made breakfast, and everyone gathered in the kitchen, except for Luis and Teresa, who had been kicked to hotel by the producers. Frank says he woke up with a giraffe between his legs and dolls up his ass. Oddly enough, or maybe not, no one reacts. Jackie says she’d love some coffee, and Marge answers the way I would – the coffee maker is over there. Marge says, Teresa clearing the table was unprovoked, but Jennifer (another one who tries to play Switzerland, but because she’s so insecure) says, Marge did call Teresa a f***ing liar. Marge says, she was, and Jennifer’s interview, she says, Marge was pushing Teresa they way she’d said Jennifer pushed her. Hypocrite much? Marge says, Teresa is a loose cannon, and dangerous, and Dolores begs everyone to behave, since she’s having an authentic barbecue dinner. Marge says she’s not sitting with or engaging with Teresa ever again, and Jennifer suggests Marge apologize for asking questions. Jackie says, Teresa asks what she wants, and it’s the double-standard that kills her. They all have to tiptoe around Teresa so she won’t lose her temper. Marge says, everyone else can dance around the crazy person, but she doesn’t do this dance. Joe #2 says, there’s no excuse for it, but Teresa is frustrated with all the Luis talk. Dolores says, Teresa was married to someone who never had a kind word or touch for her, and she’s like a rescue dog let out of a shelter. She considers Luis the guy who saved her. Joe #2 asks what Marge needs to hear, and Marge says, a major apology. Joe #3 asks what Joe #2 intends to do if Teresa flips out again, and Joe #2 says he’ll grab her, and Melissa adds, and walk her on out. Seriously, who needs this?
It’s singing day, and Dolores calls Teresa, who says she doesn’t want to be around Marge. In Dolores’s interview, she says she’s not a magician, and the anger isn’t just going to go away. She knows Teresa well though, so maybe she can diffuse the situation. It’s worked so well before, right? She tells Teresa that she’d like to go somewhere so they could talk, and maybe do some shopping. The guys are going on a party boat for the day, and Joe #2 packs a strap-on to play a joke on Frank. In Melissa’s interview, she says, she doesn’t know what Dolores can say to make Teresa not be a psycho. Boat captain Dan meets the guys, and Luis joins them. They start drinking immediately, and shotgun some beers. The women go to Nashvox Studios, and Jennifer’s gingham top matches one of the chairs, which is really weird. Even weirder, their hostess’s name is Theresa. She explains that it’s a studio for everyone, and they let everyone record there. She gives them a small menu of liquid courage, and they order drinks. Jennifer says she texted Evan, but got nothing back, and Marge says, they’re fine. They do some kind of shots I’d never touch. On the boat, Luis says, Teresa was on fire, and Joe #2 asks if it’s the worst he’s ever seen her. Luis says, it is, and Joe says, she was evil and crazy. Luis says he feels like the guys have given him a fair shot, but not so much the women. Frank says, Marge wasn’t attacking him, and Joe #3 says, Marge was only being protective, since sh*t about Luis is coming out every day. Joe #2 says, the men are different from the women. One of them can tell him that he sucks, and he’ll tell them that they suck, and they’ll be fine later. Then Joe #3 gives the best advice I’ve ever heard on here, and tells Luis, don’t get involved in anything they do. I guess that’s the secret to the men always having fun, while the women are screaming meemies.
At Nashvox, the women are introduced to songwriters Frankie and Sam, who have brought their guitars. Melissa says they want the song to be fun, and Marge points out that Melissa made an album. We flash back to On Display (♫on display ♪ on display ♫). Frankie asks what the friendship dynamic is, and Melissa comes up with Lady Drama, and they decide to make fun of it. They do a shot and brainstorm, and do another shot. They toast to Lady Drama.
Teresa and Dolores shop for cowboy boots and hats. Dolores thinks the boots feel weird, probably because she’s used to 10-inch heels. She asks what Teresa and Luis did this morning, and Teresa says, they went for a walk and had breakfast. Dolores says, the others are probably making up sh*t songs about them. At the studio, the women record the song, and it pretty much stinks. Melissa says, the boys are probably acting the fool. The boat is anchored, and Joe #2 says he got Frank something. Being the good sport he is, Frank straps on the strap-on. Joe cuts the penis part off (sorry if you cringed), and says, now Frank has balls. They drink shots out of the penis, and go down the slide into the water. Teresa tells Dolores that she texted Luis not to drink too much, and he sent her this picture. We see all the guys feeling no pain in the water, and Dolores says, the guys always have fun. Teresa says, Marge can’t poke the bear and not expect to get attacked, and Dolores says she understands, but when Teresa feels it coming, walk away. Jackie was questioning her integrity, and she brought herself down, telling herself that she didn’t want to be that person. They can’t do this anymore, and need to control the rage. Teresa says, when someone is trying to hurt her family, it’s game on. Dolores says she hired a line dancer and a chef. Teresa needs to walk in like a lady, and say, sorry for the mishap. Oh, so that’s what we’re calling a full-on tantrum now. Teresa says she’ll say it to the group, but Marge owes her an apology for dragging her boyfriend through the mud. Dolores says she’s just telling Teresa this because she loves her, and in Dolores’s interview, she says, knowing how angry Marge is, she’s going to be expecting an apology. She doesn’t know how the night is going to be if Marge doesn’t get it, but it won’t be pretty.
Jackie says she texted Evan and said she’d had one drink. He texted back that it was 14 less than the men had. Jennifer wonders if they’ll need to carry Bill in again, and we flash back to that. The men come in, not carrying Bill, but his shirt is on backward, and Frank is wearing the balls around his neck. They go to take showers, and Bill says he needs two showers. Party decorator Abbie arrives and sets up in the back. Everyone gets ready, and I notice they keep confusing Nashville with the Wild West. Melissa asks they talked to Luis, and Joe #2 says, Luis told them that Teresa is being protective. In Joe #2’s interview, he says, not every man would accept Teresa’s behavior, but he loves her unconditionally. Melissa says, Teresa needs to take accountability, and Jackie says she hates how Teresa controls the temperature. Marge says, Teresa needs to act like a grown up, not a zoo animal.
The table is gorgeously decorated, and I hope it doesn’t all end up on the ground. Dolores says she wants everyone to have a good time, and Melissa calls it country glam. Jackie asks Dolores if Teresa is ready to apologize, but Dolores says, Teresa doesn’t feel she owes an apology to Marge because she’s judging Luis without knowing him. Traci wonders how they’re supposed to get to know him without asking questions, and Marge says, no questions. It will trigger Teresa into dumping the table. Teresa and Luis finally show up, and everyone tries to act normal. In Melissa’s interview, she says, it’s clear Teresa hasn’t cooled off. They need to brace themselves. It’s going to be a long night. Line dancing instructor Kyle arrives, and the women fawn over him. In Marge’s interview, she says, everybody wants to ride a cowboy once in a while. They dance the Cowboy Hustle, and in her interview, Melissa says she’s enjoying it while it lasts. They don’t know what’s going to happen.
After the dancing is over, Melissa asks Kyle to put on the recording of their son. In Dolores’s interview, she’s like, WTF? and in Marge’s interview, she says she’s not giving up her day job. Jennifer tells Teresa that the song says, they’re all best friends in the end, but Teresa says, no, they’re not, because she just never stops. In Teresa’s interview, she says she’s not into drama; it’s Marge who causes drama. In Melissa’s interview, she says, they sound like a bunch of dead dogs, but it’s about the underlying message. She’s hoping Teresa takes the hint.
They sit down to eat, and it gets quiet. Teresa says she wants to tell the group something. Her actions yesterday were not normally how she acts. (I choke on my coffee.) She says she loves Luis. He’s the love of her life, and when someone hurts Luis, they’re hurting her. She was provoked, but she wants to say she’s sorry about what she did. Marge wonders if that was an apology, and Traci says, it was excuses. Marge says, saying she was provoked isn’t owning her behavior, and Jackie says, at the end of the day, she thinks it’s the best they’re going to get. Marge says, Teresa is an a-hole who isn’t happy with herself, and at the other end of the table, Teresa is like, what? Jennifer says she thought it was nice, and asks if Marge appreciated it. Marge asks, which part? and in Joe #2’s interview, he says, years ago, there would have been zero chance of Teresa even saying what she did. It’s growth, even if Marge doesn’t see it. He tells Marge that he thinks they can communicate like adults, and Marge says, it’s nice that things aren’t flying. She was wearing all their dinners last night. Teresa says she didn’t get a chance to eat dinner last night, but she’s sure Marge did. She makes sure she always eats. In Jackie’s interview, she says, Teresa is body shaming Marge again. She tells Teresa that she doesn’t love the way Teresa is treating her friend, and Teresa says, Jackie’s friend isn’t a good person, and needs to apologize to her. Marge says, what Teresa did wasn’t an apology. Apology 101 doesn’t come with a but. Teresa squawks that she didn’t say but (BUT she did), and tells Melissa to say Marge provoked her. Melissa asks what she’s supposed to do, and we flash back to Teresa berating Joe #2 for backing up Melissa several years ago. In Melissa’s interview, she says, she knows it’s wrong, but Teresa is basically holding them hostage. Marge says, Teresa doesn’t know how to apologize, and Teresa demands Melissa tell Marge to STFU. Marge says she’s had enough, and she’s going inside. She tells Joe #3, let’s go, and they head in. Jackie is done too, and Dolores says she’s sick of it. In her interview, Melissa says, if she agrees with Marge, Teresa will be pissed, but if she agrees with Teresa, she’ll look like an a-hole. There’s no worse spot to be in. Frank thinks it’s going to be the same thing all over again.
Next time, the finale; Melissa says, they’re a divided group of friends; Joe #2 talks to Luis about the rumors; and Luis says he’s done.
🌜 Closed For the Night…
Take a break tomorrow with some soap and the OC Reunion. Until then, stay safe, stay never going to crime scene number two, and stay acting like a grown-up, not a zoo animal.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 