Category Archives: soap opera

Sep29

September 28, 2015 — GH, the OC & London

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

It was good of them to go back to Friday’s last minute with the first minute today, since ABC broke in with non-breaking news on Friday.  Ava picks up where she left off, saying she knows who shot Sonny.

Oh, hi, Anna! Are you still on this show?

I’m not sure if I’m going to make it to November 6 (I.e. the “Jake”/Elizabeth wedding when they’ll probably wrap this up). Now Sam says she feels like Jason is right beside her, and he is. Please, I can’t take this anymore. They’re in the garden of some Asian restaurant and it just so happens that the owners’ son is the one who married Jason and Sam. The dude’s grandmother comes out. She’s blind, but her other senses are super keen. She tells Jake that he’s Jason.

Oh ho! Blame the dead guy! Ava says it was Carrrlos who shot Sonny. I wish he had shot Sonny, since that means he’d still be on the show. Good logic though. She says he was “working his way up,” starting with Duke. Since very few people know he’s dead, this might work.

Anna, Julian and Alexis are going around and around about who killed Duke. Wasn’t this like last year? Oh snap! Julian suggests Anna deal with Carrrlos, unless she already did.  Either Julian knows more than he’s letting on or he’s a really good guesser.

Sonny wants to marry Carly in the hospital.

The old Asian lady is convinced that Jake is Jason. She thinks they’re there to celebrate their anniversary.

At the mob sit down, everyone, including the one other woman who’s at the table, is wearing either black or navy blue, so Ava totally stands out in her orange get-up and blonde hair. I really do love her outfit, but she’s been wearing it for days. Everyone votes for an “immediate cease fire,” even though there hasn’t been any shooting since Sonny got shot.

Commercial break. The Soaps in Depth magazine has a big article on how Morgan and Michael will be fighting for Sonny’s territory. I’m not so sure either one of them could get a fast food order right.

Anna sees Paul and it’s like old home week. Michael agrees to mob peace. He looks incredibly out of place with all of the adults. It reminds me of that scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Mark and Stacy go on a date, and he forgets his wallet. All of a sudden, everyone wants to look for Carrrlos.

Back at the restaurant, this is the most sighted-looking blind person I’ve ever seen. Do the directors on this show walk off the set periodically throughout the day? The grandmother wants Sam and “Jason” (I don’t even know where to use quote marks now) to renew their vows and it looks like they’re going to humor her. Who does that? By God, someone is going to get married today.

And it’s Sonny.

Jake says the vow renewal might help Sam get over Jason. What? Did you know a bride and groom are a dragon and phoenix? Me neither. We get the vow renewal interspersed with Sonny’s wedding. Lots of hearts and flowers and birds flying around with ribbons in their mouths.

And in the timing that soaps are famous for, just as the rings are about to be exchanged, Sonny goes into cardiac arrest.

The Real Housewives of the OC

I’m so glad Shannon and her husband, David, are putting their marriage back together. Shannon seems weirded out by the pretty much everything, from the restaurant menu to Brooks and Vicki.

Tamra is getting baptized. Someone needs to help her out. Where is that pastor? She says that someone should make a blonde version of the bible since it’s not an easy read. Has no one told her that there are about a million different translations and they probably have that one? Is she reading the King James? No wonder she’s having a problem. Pastor Mike seems like a nice guy and I like his thought that Jesus is the GPS system for our lives, but he isn’t really teaching her very well. I knew a Pastor Mike, but this isn’t him. At least Tamra isn’t calling him a “pasture” any more. That joke was getting old.

Vicki and Brooks are visiting a doctor that practices both Eastern and Western medicine. His intern, or whatever she is, talks about organic coffee enemas. Um…no thanks. I’m all for holistic treatment, but not coffee in my butt.

I’m seriously not understanding the whole Brooks is faking cancer thing. This dude is a doctor, he’s looking at medical records and Brooks is getting some kind of IV oxygenation treatment. If he’s faking, he’s certainly doing a good job, but wouldn’t some doctor along the way have noticed?

Heather and Terry are getting ready to hawk their skincare line on a home shopping channel. Terry is freaking somewhat because it’s live TV. Heather is hoping he can “rise to the challenge,” which means she hopes he doesn’t make a fool of both of them. After the leech incident, I’m not sure I would trust them with my skin care. It doesn’t have slug spit or something in it, does it? Terry is stumbling all over the place at rehearsal, but I like him anyway. Heather is mystified that he’s having a problem with this, but it’s totally understandable. Seriously, I’d be more concerned about having credibility after duct taping leeches to my stomach. Heather says bad dress rehearsal, good show. We used to say that when I worked in theatre too, but that doesn’t make it true.

Tamra is helping Ryan to move in to his new home. The one she forked over the 8 grand for him to buy. She goes over to Vicki’s and gives Brooks a hug like nothing ever happened. Did we miss something? In the last episode, Tamra was screaming at him. Brooks shows Tamra some paper about the results of his PET scan. Now I already know that Meghan is going to challenge this by calling the facility and finding out they don’t do PET scans there. If this is the case though, what’s up with the doctor they just visited? Unless Brooks is honestly convinced he has it and doesn’t, and has also managed to convince the medical people he’s seeing, I don’t know what to make of this.

Interesting. In talking about raising her stepdaughter, Meghan thought all kids were raised the same. This explains a lot, since she doesn’t seem to understand anything outside her narrow realm of experience. They have an amazing kitchen. I’m apparently doomed to having a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. When I moved from an apartment to an 8-room house, the kitchen was actually smaller than the one in my last apartment.

Terry is doing well on the actual show. Since no one has anything better to do, the rest of the ladies get together to watch – without Vicki, since it’s at Meghan’s house. Apparently, one of the ingredients in the product is the same as the antioxidant Brooks claimed to be using to fight his cancer, so Lizzie makes a stupid comment that their product must cure cancer. 1) It didn’t look like the same spelling or sound like the exact same thing, 2) antioxidants can be used for more than one thing, 3) wouldn’t Heather have mentioned that when they talked about it before? and 4) what an freaking stupid thing to say. Tamra makes a prank phone call to the show which is pretty funny, but Heather and Terry are only fooled for 5 seconds. Aww, Terry and Heather are all in love again after the show.

Here comes the part where Meghan called the facility. Twice. Tamra wonders why she was the chosen one to see the report and of course Meghan thinks it’s because Tamra is the idiot of the group. She asks why they weren’t shown to her since she has a “medical background” – because she’s seen medical records before. Um….  Shannon’s feelings are hurt because Vicki didn’t include her and she’s been their biggest advocate. It seems that she forgot  that twice she made Vicki extremely upset because she couldn’t stop talking when Vicki asked her to shut up. Tamra and Vicki also used to be besties and she’s known Tamra a helluva lot longer than the others.

In playing devil’s advocate, I can totally come up with reasons for every piece of information about Brook’s cancer that is cropping up. And how can he be such a smooth con man that he fools doctors, yet makes these huge mistakes? On the other hand, WTF? ??

Ladies of London

We’re back at the New Year’s Eve party, which at this point is going on way too long. Caroline #1’s SIL is way drunk and totally supportive of Caroline making humping gestures over Juliet’s prone husband while in a unicorn costume. I’m not sure why this is okay. Will someone please support me here?  Yes, it wasn’t exactly sexy, but it was still out of line. Juliet decides to apologize for overreacting (which she really didn’t) and it doesn’t go well because the SIL, Joan Collins Sophie, keeps instigating. I get revenge the next morning because they all have serious hangovers.

What I don’t get about some of these women is that they act like all kinds of propriety should be followed, but then act like inappropriate idiots themselves. They keep pointing the finger at the “emotional” Americans, yet act like teenagers being given alcohol for the first time. I guess it’s one of those things where it’s a different set of rules for everyone. I hate that. HA-HA! Marissa’s mascara is all over her face. Go wash up, you cow.

The next morning everyone comes down to the chaotic confetti-laden room for breakfast. Caroline #1 is annoyed because Juliet is acting like nothing happened. Isn’t that what she wanted? Caroline had also been bitching about Julie getting weepy when she was drunk and now takes back her apology. Annabelle says it’s a “truly ungracious moment” and I agree. It’s sad. I liked Caroline #1, but now she’s acting like a complete a-hole. I think some of these ladies – and I use the term loosely – probably shouldn’t drink.

The two Carolines meet for a walk. Caroline #1 says Juliet was “looking for a fight.” Sorry. Don’t see it that way. She sees an online article from the Sunday Times business section via her phone. It’s Marissa promoting her new restaurant venture, and the picture shows her showing off a hot dog. (This is not a euphemism for anything. She has a literal hot dog in her hands. It looks pretty good too.) Caroline #1 of course has something snarky to say and I can’t wait for it to get back to Marissa, who also thinks her poopy doesn’t stink and whose feelings will be hurt no matter how she shrugs it off. I want to see these  two with the biggest egos go at it. That is if both of their heads can fit in one room.

Caroline #1 (is the whole show about her tonight?) has to pay some note (a loan to us Yanks) in regard to her store and the Christmas sales were not what they’d hoped for. I do feel for her on this front. Its date night for her and her husband, who travels an awful lot for work. I believe her shoe closet is entirely worth it though. In discussing her latest phone call with Juliet, she sounds like a middle-schooler. I don’t know why, but it still surprises me when people who seem so sophisticated are reduced to total morons once the cameras are rolling. Lisa Vanderpump, we salute you. You’re the only one with any dignity left.

The Baroness (Caroline #2) is taking a trip to her homeland of Denmark. She lands in Copenhagen, which makes me remember signing a petition about them unnecessarily euthanizing zoo animals. Wanting to visit and crossing it off the list in the same second. I kind of like this Caroline, although my jury’s still out due to the other Caroline. She lost her mother at a young age and is very close to her grandmother.  OMG – her grandmother has the most fabulous teapot ever! It sort of looks like a cabbage head. I love that type of ceramic serving piece and have some of them myself. I once worked for Lord & Taylor’s corporate office across from the Fifth Avenue store, where they occasionally had sample sales for the employees. I was thrilled to snag a few for about 8 bucks each, since normally they were way out of my price league. That also tells you something about the markup.

Julie, Annabelle and Juliet are having lunch. I want to eat at every restaurant they show on here. Julie is talking about Caroline #1’s anti-apology.  Julie has told Annabelle about Caroline #1 getting nasty on the phone with Juliet, and Juliet isn’t happy about that. The other two think she’s afraid of Caroline. Yep, we’re still in high school.

Next week’s coming attraction shows them being at another event where they’re drinking. I just can’t imagine what the outcome will be. I just hope it doesn’t involve animal costumes.

Sep26

September 25, 2015 — Twice the GH & Blaster Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital – Part 1 — Thursday

Why did Carly just say that Ava got pregnant on purpose? She wasn’t there, but I was, and I distinctly remember that scene in the mausoleum. It was pretty much a surprise to both parties and the audience. Nice try.

You’d think just hearing “Jason” every five minutes would have cured “Jake’s” amnesia by now.  He and Elizabeth have set a November 6 date for their wedding, which is the same date she asked him to move in with her. Hmmm…maybe this will end up being a wedding reveal

It’s Sam & Jason’s anniversary, so to celebrate, she wants to hunt down whoever shot Sonny.

Ava has a court order to reinstate her parental rights, so lots of back and forth with her and Carly in the community center hospital. Stop acting so smug, Morgan.  You certainly didn’t care so much about this when you were busy ripping off “Denise’s” clothes. Morgan once again becomes the voice of reason and tells Carly that she needs to hand Avery over, or she’ll be in violation of the court order. Which no one has actually looked at, so it could be a take-out menu for all they know. (It isn’t. I’m just sayin’.)

Is it me, or are they using some really crappy foundation makeup on this show lately? I’m not saying they need to look perfect (Eastenders, anyone?), but that’s the goal on American soaps, so unless this is some new angle, they’re failing miserably. This is also the downside of HDTV. You can see every nostril hair on everyone.

Paul gives Alexis his I’m-only-in-it-for-the-nobility song and dance. And she believes it. I’m wondering how Alexis even made it to the age that she is, since her gullibility is off the charts. She returns to Julian in her happy place, telling him Paul is “cautiously open-minded” about Julian’s innocence and makes noises about him being a good guy. Meanwhile, Paul is on the phone to Ava plotting Sonny’s demise.

Ha-ha! Baby Avery does not want to leave those gorgeous earrings of Ava’s alone. Having been a mother before, she should know better than to wear danglers while holding an infant. They’ve finally taken a look at it, and the court order says Ava has to give the custodial parent (i.e. Sonny, no, not you, Carly) 24 hours notice before taking her, so for now Ava leaves her with Carly, who will have to break that news to Sonny.

Once again, I’m astounded at baby Avery’s acting skills. Normally, I respond to children on soaps like W.C. Fields, but this one is impressive. The next Starr or Robin maybe?

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Just a note about Watch What Happens Live – What horrifying thing is Pam Anderson wearing? Did she make that herself?

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General Hospital – Part 2 – Friday

I’m assuming for some reason they’re not allowed to use flashbacks with Steve Burton, since we just saw the back of “Jake’s” head in one.  Um…wouldn’t he be looking like his old self, pre plastic surgery, in these memories? Speaking of which, when Jake first showed up, there was a Helena Cassadine tie-in, and it was assumed he learned his tricks of the trade from her, but is no one interested as to how he ended up with her in the first place? I somehow don’t think I’d just be shrugging that off.

“How funny,” Jake says, “that I just had one of your memories, Sam!” He didn’t really say that, but he might as well have.

Baby Avery continues to blow my mind. I love how Sonny is going on about Ava having killed Connie, like he’s squeaky clean. Michael and Morgan continue to hang out in the hospital waiting room, and now Ric has joined them. Why no one has fired him for incompetence yet, I’ll never know. I wouldn’t let this guy represent the squirrel who’s been getting in my bird feeder. On top of it, no one seems to know how the court system works, least of all, Ric.

Cool! Ava is going to represent at a mob sit down. Apparently, the other mob bosses want answers about Sonny’s shooting. Not that I have any experience with this, but you’d think they’d have infiltrators who gather that sort of information. Frankly, I think that Sonny just imports really good coffee and they like sitting down for a klatch.  Ric wants to go to the sit down too, because, coffee.

Morgan wants to go too. They must also serve doughnuts. Or maybe BLTs from Kelly’s. Don’t these people have somewhere else to have a conversation? Now it looks like they’re in some utility room.

Boy, is Elizabeth pushing Patrick to push Sam into marriage. Even Patrick is wondering why.

Sam pulls out those dragon knickknacks that she carries everywhere with her. And “Jake” eats them. Sorry, but this is getting boring unless he’s going to remember who he is.

I feel sorry for that unknown guy who’s been guarding Sonny’s door. It’s a thankless job for sure.

Paul, who looks like every arrogant executive I’ve ever known, tells Ava that she has to set up Julian to take the fall for Sonny’s shooting. I’m not too sure why any of the other “bosses” would even care, since they all were after Sonny at some point. Oh come on! Nobody talks like these mob guys. Not in 2015. The writers must have used The Godfather as a reference.

Oh, this is really nice. Just as Ava sits down at the table, ABC breaks in to give me an update on the Pope. I so appreciate this. I have nothing against him, and actually like him, but they couldn’t wait one freaking minute? And once again to show nothing. It’s not even like he’s pontificating or something. He’s not even on the screen. Heaving huge sigh and emailing ABC.

Z Nation

Murphy has the best of both worlds, but I guess also the worst. He’s somewhat immortal and has certain powers, but he can still enjoy things like food and sex. On the other hand, like Ives said in Ravenous, “It’s lonely being a cannibal. It’s tough making friends.”

I just thought I saw an homage to Death Proof – the way we saw a car going by in the distance – but maybe I just watch too much of this stuff. Who the hell remembers how a car looked passing by?

Operation Bite Mark comes across a convoy of trucks and tanks, who have been ambushed by some renegades and a mini-war is on. You’d think, as with The Walking Dead, that any living humans would band together and FA. After the dust settles, it turns out the convoy is a group transporting survivors to Edmonton, where it’s cold, which the zombies hate. They’ve been poisoned by the radiation and some are on the verge of dying. OBM is invited along and decide to join up. For now. Roberta tells Addy that the truck with the dying people is “a zombie bomb waiting to go off.”

One of the group claims to have some good “seaweed,” so Murphy and Doc join him in his car to go back to the 70s. Seaweed guy mentions that zombies are being used as compost where the weed is grown, which gives Murphy pause while smoking the joint. Are they smoking zombies? Yuk! I’d rather eat those insect protein bars from Snowpiercer. Murphy and Doc are now high as kites.

Apparently, the radiated zombies (called “blasters”) hunt in packs, are very fast and only eat brains. Zombie subculture. The first truck is magnificent, with all kinds of shields and pointy things, a silver buck’s head, and a zombie head on the front, and a tattered American flag up top. Uh-oh. Murphy is getting Cassandra high. No good can come of this.

No good is coming from them meeting up with the renegades again either. My first heart attack of the night is when they surround Doc and his new seaweed buddy, who have taken the car they were smoking in. Cassandra comes to the rescue, and they ditch the car. The leader of the caravan, Custer, isn’t happy about the renegades stealing it. Murphy is getting some really bad vibes and sure enough, some blasters pop out of nowhere. This show is so relentless!

Murphy tries to tap into the zombies’ minds, but it’s not working the way it usually does and they all make a dash for the truck. In the meantime, Custer argues with Roberta over going back for the car, and it turns out that their entire water supply was in it.  Custer blames seaweed guy for the whole fiasco, and makes him get in the back of the bus truck with the radiated regular people. These blasters are pretty scary, since they move fast and weirdly.  They remind of something out of the old Creepy comic books.

Commercial break. It’s those Yellow Labs in the Subaru. If all commercials were like that, I’d watch them. Once again Crimson Peak looks amazing. Even if the story ends up stinking, it looks like it’s worth seeing for the cinematography.

They find the car and Cassandra along with it. She’s dispatched the car jackers. While Custer is arguing (again) with Roberta about who’s going to drive what, Murphy takes off with Cassandra in the car. Addy finds out that Custer’s son is one of the radiated people in the back of the last truck.

Here it comes….ohshitohshitohshitohshit…..

Custer’s son has died and is now a zombie, and zombified the others riding with him, except for Addy, who is shooting at the group of blasters quickly catching up on foot from behind. I told you they were fast. Addy is totally surrounded.

10K pulls her up and over the truck cab – there are zombies crawling all over the place now, and the live people are maneuvering all around. This is all just crazy. They come across a wall of furniture that’s been set on fire by the zombies. Does this mean they can reason? Or at least build a wall and set it on fire? Custer doesn’t want anyone else to drive his truck, but he’s fading fast and Roberta shares the wheel, helping to knock the main zombie off of the truck and into the wheel action underneath. Nice. OBM, following Roberta’s lead, collectively leap off the truck. It’s kind of sad, as Custer is left alone in a truck covered with zombies. We don’t actually see him die, but trust me, he’s dead.

Murphy has decided to take a road trip with Cassandra and seaweed guy. Seaweed guy has told Murphy that the place where the weed was from is an old GMO lab where they’re also trying to find an herbal cure for the zombie condition. So they head for Minneapolis. The rest of OBM will no doubt be following them.

Where was Citizen Z this week???

I’m surprised the Parents Television Council isn’t all over this show. Don’t get me wrong. I agree with them on a lot of things, and maybe the day will come when we can just pay for individual networks, but I also want more sophisticated entertainment than what’s on the Hallmark channel.

BTW, the Sy – we can’t spell – Fy channel tells me that this isn’t a TV show, it’s “an experience.”

Sep24

September 23, 2015 – GH, LA Women & Listings

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Morgan has his own logic going on about going to a shrink. Yes, he promised he would go, but he promised he would go after the wedding, and the wedding didn’t happen, so now he doesn’t have to keep his promise.  I guess he’s not going to get in trouble for shooting Julian? Now Julian and Alexis are relaxing, while Julian nurses his wound with…an ice bag. Giving him the Tough Guy of the Year Award.

Sam is weeping over her old wedding ring and boxing up her Jason memories as Patrick serenades us on his new guitar. This is giving me a headache. The other thing hurting my head is Elizabeth and Jake. Although I appreciated Jason in a nostalgic kind of way (as he was one of the Quartermaine clan), he was never one of my favorites, but I do like “Jake,” and desperately want to see his real identity revealed. You’d think Elizabeth would have even half a clue. The longer she stretches this out, the worse it’s going to be for her when he eventually finds out from someone else. Actually, that’s the only thing making it all worth it for me. She’s pushing him for a wedding date, like that might save this situation instead of piling more karma on.

What’s all this lady mob boss talk about Ava? I don’t remember her really having much to do with that other than being Julian’s sister. Paul is telling Dillon all about how he scored the DA job and how he’s going to put her away along with all the other mobsters. In the meantime, Ava has told Scotty he can earn a cool million by getting Avery back for her. Yes, I’m aware they call him “Scott” now, but he’ll always be Scotty to me. We grew up together. Love Ava’s earrings and how they match her dress. Maybe orange is the new black. Ha-ha! Dillon is talking about how noble Paul is. I’m guessing it will be another year before his real intentions are revealed.

Morgan has a moment of clarity when Carly says Ric will be helping them with Avery’s custody case, and says they shouldn’t trust him. Carly says they have no choice (huh?) and that he’s a very talented attorney. Talented at getting himself in trouble maybe, but I haven’t seen much evidence of that (no pun intended). It’s bothering me that Morgan is the voice of reason about anything.

Holy crap! Ava just showed up at the hospital and Avery looked at her and said, “Mom.” Sign that kid up for life. It’s unusual for an infant to even look at one of the actors, much less respond to them appropriately.

Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance

I haven’t watched Survivor in a long time, but I’m thinking of going back in this season. I’ve dabbled in it here and there, but I kind of stopped watching seriously after Pearl Islands. Jonny Fairplay lying about his grandmother’s death was such a brilliant move, I didn’t think it could ever be topped. It’s like how, when you read a really good book, you don’t want to read another one for a while.

This time they’re in Cambodia, and the cast is made up of players who have already been in the game before. It’s also entirely made up of players that fans have voted for. For some, it’s been as long as 15 years. And it looks like it. I’m thinking that any body fat these people have will be gone by the end of the game.

As usual, the playing field is gorgeous, and I’d totally love to be there if I was staying in a hotel. I readily admit, I wouldn’t last five minutes in this game. I’d be crying for my tablet and hair dryer. I would have made a lousy pioneer too.

At the beginning of the game, I don’t even try to remember everyone’s names. That won’t happen until it’s narrowed down to like six of them. This time, the first challenge is the same as the first one on the very first Survivor. The challenges always cause my brain to freeze. Even if I made it to the first one, I’d never make it through the first one. I wouldn’t even remember the list of instructions.

Until Andy Cohen came along, I was convinced Jeff Probst was the antichrist of reality TV.  The website says Jeff has a “spunky” attitude. Is that what we’re calling “antagonistic” now?

It figures this has to be on for 2 hours tonight. I’ll be back, but for now I’m switching over to…

Little Women LA

The ladies are going to the racetrack, so Terra and Tonya are making fancy hats. I went to the Belmont Stakes once, but I didn’t wear a hat at all. I’d never been to a horse race before, and I was pretty surprised at how quick a race is. I don’t know what it was I’d expected – maybe more of a marathon than a sprint. I placed a small bet, but didn’t win anything except a drunk trying to pick me up near the ladies room.

Brianna never showed for the second day of the video shoot, feeling she gave Tonya enough time. She’s bitching to Matt about the girls. I still don’t have a handle on him yet. He seems okay, but I respect Terra’s judgment. Even the rest of the ladies, with the exception of Jasmine, don’t like him much either.

Huge surprise. Christy had once been the victim of domestic violence, which resulted in her needing neck surgery and contributed to her subsequent alcoholism (which we did know about). She’s meeting with a doctor to see if there’s something that can be done about the pain she’s still suffering from. She has two bulging disks and will need surgery before she can try to get pregnant again.

I’m just going to say it. I don’t think Brianna can sing all that well. This kind of means nothing, since Kim Zolciak had a hit single and they can make anyone sound good, but she has the opportunity to work with Berry Gordy’s son, Kerry, so she needs to get it together. She doesn’t seem to take criticism well either, which will make it tough for her in the music biz. She says she “wasn’t prepared” for it. Brianna, people pay big money for that criticism. It’s called instruction. I studied musical comedy with the guy who originally directed The Fantasticks. Two weeks out of the year, the woman who’d first played the lead in that show would sub for him when he went to Texas to direct it fresh there. It was the worst. She loved everything we did, which gave us all nothing to work on. Time and dollars wasted.

Tonya’s cousins are grilling her boyfriend, which seems a little late in the game, since they’ve been seeing each other for a while. Tonya says she would like him to take the lead more. Good luck with that, Lil Boss.

Elena is getting her dresses together for her vow renewal – a white one for the ceremony and a red one for the reception. She’s wearing this neon violet lipstick in her interview segments that I’m not so sure I like, but she’s so gorgeous, it really doesn’t matter. She asks Terra to be her matron of honor.  I hate that title. I also had a matron of honor and understand it’s the distinction between an attendant who is married and one who isn’t, but since it’s a variant of the word “matronly,” it doesn’t come off as sounding very attractive.

Off to the races! Everyone gets a hat, they watch one race up close and then head to the box where there’s booze and food. They discuss throwing a bachelorette party for Elena. She says that since she’s been married for 4 years, it’s a little late for penises other than her husband’s, so they decide on a spa day. Now they’re eating some giant ice cream concoction that I wish I had a spoon in. Brianna is being a stick in the mud because no one is talking about throwing a party for her. Maybe I missed something, but as far as I know, she doesn’t even have a date set yet. Tonya brings up Brianna not showing up for day two of the video shoot and how things like that cost money.(Are those Van Cleef & Arpels earrings on Brianna’s ears?) This quickly degenerates into a conversation about Matt – right in front of him like he’s not there. Jasmine, who is literally sitting in the middle of the argument, with hand gestures happening in front of her face, decides to leave.

Tonya uses one of my favorite phrases, telling Brianna that she’s “the common denominator” in the problems. Tonya’s boyfriend looks like he’s zoning out. Brianna claims she isn’t jealous of Elena’s upcoming vow renewal event, but she just got done whining “what about me,” and she’s not fooling anyone. Terra suggests she and Matt leave. Ouch!

It looks like a secret will be revealed next week involving Brianna and Matt. Could they be married already?

Million Dollar Listing LA

We start off with Josh F. sending Josh A. a glitter bomb. He hates glitter. So do I. It gets in places it was never even near and won’t go away. I hate Play-Doh too. It gets in the treads of your shoes and you will never, ever get it out.

I’m starting to think that maybe these brokers do earn those high commissions, since a lot of the sellers are d-bags who think they can sell their properties for more than they’re worth. I can understand this somewhat from the broker’s point of view. I occasionally sell things for other people on eBay. They’ll see that someone else has the same pair of sunglasses they own, and it’s being listed for $7000, and they want me to do the same. But in their eagerness for cash, they don’t research it thoroughly enough. What they failed to discover is that those sunglasses have been sitting there for years, there’s been one offer, and the seller didn’t take it because he still thinks he can make that much. I can list everything for a million dollars, but it doesn’t mean anyone will buy it at the price. Like I always say, it’s worth what it’s worth to the person who wants it.

Josh A. is having the same problem with his client and even pointing out comps isn’t helping. It’s worse than trying to convince a woman she has to eat to lose weight. While anything is possible (especially with the magicians on this show), he also wants a done deal in 48 hours. Okay.

Josh F.’s grandmother, Edith,recently passed away. She was a feisty old broad, who lived a colorful life, and I’m going to miss her appearances on the show. She helped save quite a few Jewish lives during WWII and even had some notches in her belt for shooting Nazis. They don’t make them like that anymore. Oscar Schindler’s great nephew has sent a condolence letter, and Josh’s husband has had it framed. Very impressive.

David and James are two guys who look like brothers (they’re best friends since the beginning of time) and, like Simon McCord from The Real Housewives of NYC, would be great candidates for Graham Norton’s Gay or Eurotrash? game (Eurotrash). They’re having an open house designed after Burning Man. Although that’s another reason these guys deserve the bucks they get. The expense of staging houses and having parties to show them comes out of their pockets, and it can get very pricey.

Commercial break. Crimson Peak looks like an absolutely incredible film, but now that the price of movie tickets is close to that of a small car (thank goodness for the dollar store, or I’d have to take out a second mortgage to get snacks), I’ve gotten really picky. I hate when you see the best part of the film in the trailer and you spend the rest of the film wondering why you just threw your money in the toilet. This one looks promising though. And I can’t wait for Quentin Tarantino’s Hateful Eight to open on Christmas. I saw Django Unchained on Christmas, thinking there would be no one at the theatre. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I was lucky I got a seat.

Houdini Josh A. has worked some miracle and sold the loathsome client’s house at the price he wanted. He outmaneuvered the slick investor he was working with. It is kind of fun watching the way these guys work.

James David (seriously, they look alike) is showing another broker a house for their client. The seller is supposed to be away, but the locks have been changed, there are cars in the driveway, and there’s a Rottweiler barking on the other side of the fence. Nice.

Sep23

September 22, 2015 — GH, Queens, Tyler Perry & Tequila

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

You’d think after all she’s been though, on top of being a Cassadine, Alexis could control her freak out when hearing a gunshot better. Too bad it was Julian who got shot instead of Morgan, although both of them could disappear and I’d be okay with that. Julian is down, but not out yet.

I need some kind of chart or graph to keep what kids are whose straight. Hey, you watch the same show for literally 50 years and let’s see how well you do.

Is Sonny hallucinating or does he know something about Jake being Jason? That would be a real twist, giving Sonny the reveal. Oh, why not? I’d actually hoped for Laura to return and get that job, but since it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, they can draw straws at this point for all I care. Just, please, let’s get to it already.

Commercial break. Oh crap. Once Upon a Time is premiering this weekend. While right now it won’t throw a wrench into Sundays, it will eventually. There always seems to be one day in the week where I have to stay up half the night to catch everything. I still have the finale from last season’s Once in the black hole that is my DVR. Pope Francis is also headed this way, which should make for some stellar traffic jams in the city.

Ha-ha! Elizabeth looks like she’s about to pass out. Good. And seriously, “Jake” doesn’t seem like an idiot. Has it never once crossed his mind that he might be Jason? Or even anyone else from Port Charles?

What the blip is Michael doing, showing up there with no weapon? Even wounded, Julian could probably get away, since Michael and Morgan are so busy blabbing. Michael thinks logic is going to work here. Really? He tells Morgan that Sonny sent him to stop Morgan throwing his life away. We’ll see if Morgan buys it.

Ric (whose name I’ve been spelling wrong) is trying to talk his way back into the good graces of the PC court system. (That would be Port Charles. These days, I realize that might need clarification.) While I don’t like his character all that much, I love the acting skills of Rick Lansing. (Rick playing Ric!) He does a great annoyed and flustered. Paul has replaced Ric as District Attorney. That was quick! My favorite soap character job switch was when Bo from One Life to Live went from being a radio DJ to being Police Commissioner overnight. At least Paul was a lawyer already.

Dillon…Maxie…Dillon’s movie… These are the kinds of storylines I used to fast forward through in the old days, when we taped things on the VCR.

This is pretty good, with Carly playing along with Sonny that “Jake” is Jason. I’m rooting for Elizabeth to have a heart attack. At least she’s already at the hospital.

Holy! Michael’s blathering worked! I want Alexis to stop making those cartoonish soap faces though. Her hair always reminds me of Cruella de Vil as it is. Even though Morgan has packed up his pistol, Michael tells Julian it’s not over because he agrees that Julian had Sonny shot. Boy, would he be surprised to know the truth.

Paul should have been a salesman. I’m ready to throw in with him. “Jake” wants to help out in stopping Morgan (a day late and a dollar short), and Elizabeth is trying to boss him around. Go away already.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME. They just broke in to the last 2 minutes of the show to report on the Pope’s plane landing in Washington DC. I mean we’re looking at the plane sitting there and that’s it. He’s probably still sitting in his seat, iPad in hand, not believing that they just cut in to the end of General Hospital. This is almost, but not quite, as bad as when they broke in the day we were finally seeing what happened in Luke’s past. ABC had to make all kinds of apologies that time. Did they learn nothing?

Scream Queens

I’m taking a chance on DVR’ing this, but it’s the finale of The Haves & the Have Nots, so I’m only watching the first hour.

It revolves around a sorority, Kappa something (KKT), and a stalker/killer in a devil outfit. One that looks hot and uncomfortable. Jamie Lee Curtis (always worth watching) is Dean Munch, which leads to jokes that I’m sure shouldn’t be aired before 10 pm. Jamie Lee reminds me of Dean Wormer in Animal House. She hates sororities. Somebody has to put their foot down, and that foot is her. She makes some rule that the sorority has to open its membership to everyone, and brings in a bunch of “misfits,” again reminding me of Animal House.

I’d kill for main (evil) character Chanel #1’s closet. The main (good) character, Liz, wants to join KKT because it’s her dead mother’s legacy. Her dad tells her sororities are like Game of Thrones. Since I had the brilliant idea to go to acting school instead of college, I have no clue about them, but my sister and her peers decided to rebel by ignoring pledge week and sororities. This was in the hippie days when being a non-conformist meant something.

Commercial break. The 5th Wave looks like an incredible movie, but if it’s not even rated yet, this means I could be watching this commercial for the next year. I like Good Day New York, but there’s really nothing they can do to make my mornings “fun.” Just give me coffee.

At the end of the first hour, Chanel #1 has killed Miss Bean, the house maid whom she calls “White Mammy.” The first of Chanel’s “minons” (all named “Chanel” and called by number) is killed by the devil stalker. The dialogue is done by texts between the murderer and the victim, culminating with the victim calling for help via Facebook, rather than calling 911. I’m not sure if this is a comment on the stupidity of people today or their dependence on social media or something else.

This looks like a fun show, although a little risqué to be on at 8. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I am appropriate. And nobody wants to answer kids’ questions before their time.

Tyler Perry’s Temptation Tuesday

This is comprised of his nighttime dramas, The Haves & the Have Nots, and If Loving You is Wrong. Both shows are over-the-top old school style of soap. The main difference being that the latter is totally focused on middle-class families. Most of the characters are doing all right, but there are no real “haves.”

Obviously, I’m not alone in feeling that Tyler Perry has fulfilled a need left by the departure of shows such as Dallas and Dynasty, and given them a fresh spin. They might not be up for any Emmys, but people are tuning in and enjoying these updates on the classics.

Tonight was unusual in that both shows were on back to back. While The Haves & the Have Nots was having its finale, If Loving You is Wrong was starting its new season. Even the beginning credits are reminiscent of the daytime soaps in the 80s and I love it!  It starts the way it ended last season, with a scene that was the height of pure soapiness.

Alex has just had her baby. It’s hanging in the balance whether the father is her Caucasian husband, Brad, or her married African American neighbor, Randall, with whom she was having an affair. (This was all exposed prior to her going into labor.) All of her girlfriends are at the window where you stare at the newborns. They gasp and stare in silence. One of them says the baby is black. Another says, “How are we going to tell Brad”?

“Tell me what?” Brad says, having just walked in behind them.

DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Below Deck

Leon turns out to be kind of a lazy cook, which I can totally identify with, but I don’t work on a yacht.

It’s not starting off well. Some kind of tequila, that most of the guests have put on their preference sheets, isn’t in stock. Kate explains that a lot of the time, guests list things they never ask for and when something is particularly hard to get, it’s not a priority. She realizes now that it is a priority.

On top of it, the weather is not cooperating, so the guests’ requested water activities won’t be happening. I think I would be just fine, lazing around the yacht, top-of-the-line alcohol, food and service at my beck and call, but apparently some people get bored with that. This makes me take note that I’ve never once seen anyone reading while on these charters. I’ve always taken reading material on vacation.

Does it bother anyone else when, while watching an episode of a show, they air a commercial for next week’s episode of the same show? And add that it’s an “all new episode” when it’s only the third one of the season?

A new deckhand is coming to replace dickweed Don. (Ha-ha! Spell check tried to change that to duckweed. Fie on you, spell check, and I trump your correction.) Rocky is still insane, crying one minute and making up Broadway tunes about laundry the next. I don’t think this girl belongs at this job. Or maybe any job. Hope she can find a rich guy to marry. New guy Dane is too young, surfer dude looking for me, but the girls all think he’s hot.

Kate says it’s not a good sign when the guests go to bed early and would rather sleep than hang out on the boat. A couple of the lady guests try to entice Dane and Emile into the hot tub. Emile plays by the rules of no fraternization, but Dane almost gets in the tub and needs a mini-lecture on how to draw the line between having fun with the guests and having too much fun with the guests.

The weather still sucks, and Kate creates a party for the guests where they play a slightly rude, seafaring version of Twister. Lo and behold, here comes a boat bearing the liquor the guests could so desperately not live without. (The bottle cost $350, but there’s no mention of what the delivery must have cost.) I think these guests are bored because they’re boring. All is well once the booze gets on board. I hate tequila, so I’m failing to see how this was a make or break factor on the charter. I can’t wait to see what the tip is.

Whoa — 25 large! Having to entertain bored, boring people is totally worth it. Captain Lee gives Eddie some advice while they lounge in the hot tub. Eddie needs to get it together with his girlfriend because his mind isn’t totally on his work. The main thing I hear is that Captain Lee is married. Yep. All the good ones are married or gay.

Sep22

September 21, 2015 — GH, OC & NYE in London

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Blah-blah-blah, romantic stuff with Sam and Patrick. The only thing that will make this worthwhile for me is if Robin shows up. Or if nuJason does, since the reason Sam tells Patrick “not yet” is because it’s around this time she married Jason.

What up with TJ that he thinks Morgan is just going to “rough up” Julian? How much more obvious can it be that Morgan is psychotic?  Nice save on Alexis’s part. She tells Morgan that if he pulls the trigger, he’ll kill Sonny. Bet that is screwing with Morgan’s thought process.

Instead of chatting up Mayor Lomax, Paul is chatting up Ava. It turns out he has the confession recording and he wants something “complicated” in return. Oh goodie. I can’t wait.

Maxie is wearing the cutest romper!

Oooh, it’s Paul who had Sonny shot. Nothing like throwing in a ringer. Is this the first we’re hearing about his organized crime ties? At least they said “organized crime” and not “the business.”  Apparently, he wants to run Julian’s territory with Ava. This is rather a weird proposition, since Ava hasn’t had anything to do with that, except for gossiping with Julian. Is her new job going to be shaking people down? I want to smack Paul when he says he likes her hair. Blue-eyed blondes are a dime a dozen on these shows. Although I do like the idea of a lady mob boss. I thought The Sopranos missed a golden opportunity with that.

Sonny says he’s fine now. Okay. Sonny tells Elizabeth how glad he is she got her son back, and too bad Jason isn’t around to see it. Ah-ha! (in Nelson voice) Rub it in good, Sonny.

Maxie just asked Tracy why a lawyer (meaning Paul) would want to get involved with a bunch of criminals. She does live in this world, right? I think maybe Tracy needs to find some friends closer to her own age. Not that I’m opposed to having friends of all ages, but does she really want to take love life advice from 20-year-olds?  I’m with Maxie, clothes are wearable art and an extension of self. She’s really pushing this Tracy/Paul thing.

Did Paul just ask if he could “top [Ava’s] wine?” She’s drinking a martini. The director must have fallen asleep during the Sam/Patrick scenes.

Man, is TJ a dumbass. Morgan could have shot Julian ten times in the amount of time it’s taking for Michael to convince TJ that Morgan is dangerous in his manic state.

Commercial break. Yes, I understand Blue Buffalo is a wonderful pet food, but you try to get my dogs to eat it. I spent a fortune on a bag of it and they looked at me like I had two heads and refused to take one bite. OMG – it’s a guy in his work cube on the toilet. Has it come to that?

No surprise we end with an offstage bang

The Real Housewives of the OC

Why does Tamra keep adding to what Brooks said about considering the source? First of all, he said it in conjunction with saying he’d never talked to her – which he hadn’t. And she keeps adding all these nasty nuances that just weren’t there.

How can Heather say that this is a group of people who love Vicki? Meghan has made it very clear that she does not love Vicki and nothing could be further from the truth.

Can you tell these girls are all getting on my nerves? Let me make it clear that I don’t care for Brooks and never have, but I like what’s going on even less. The bottom line is that this is none of their business. I can’t even believe they spend this much time discussing it. Heather has told Vicki that they should produce the medical documents to prove everyone wrong, but Vicki doesn’t want to because 1) it’s none of their business and 2) she shouldn’t have to do that with people who know her. I’m not even saying Brooks isn’t lying and he’s fooling Vicki, but to bombard her with crap she doesn’t need right now is wrong. And I know from what I speak. I’ve personally had a situation where someone didn’t believe me. I totally have the proof in print to show them that what I’ve said is true, but I’m not going to show it to them. This person has known me for almost 30 years and has no business doubting me. So believe what you want, but you’ll be believing it from somewhere else because we are no longer friends.

Everyone is sooo stressed over this. Hey, here’s my prescription for that – stop talking about it.

Vicki says that Tamra went apesh*t for no reason, since her track record for passing along info isn’t exactly great. Telephone, teleTamra – ha-ha-ha! That reminds me of how my grandfather used to say (about my grandmother), “Telegraph, telephone, tell Marie.” Vicki also says that Tamra had no business running to Meghan with what Jim had told Brooks. It’s like these women are a bunch of 14-year-olds who can’t wait to pass along any gossip. While I do know a couple of adults who are like this, I certainly don’t make them privy to any information I’m given about anyone. Vicki leaves the Aries party early and the women say she ran away from the issue. It seems to be all anyone can talk about and sometimes you do have to just walk away. Shannon and Vicki subsequently have a lunch, but once again, it’s the only topic. Seriously, at this point, even if Brooks is lying, I’m taking his side.

Twitter, Google, et al must go nuts after these shows air.

Terry isn’t crazy about Heather’s sketch of some window she wants to put in at the new house that involves a tree and some birds that symbolize the kids. I’m with him – if you don’t want my honest opinion, don’t ask for it. Heather claims it’s not his honest opinion about the window she cares about, but she wants acknowledgement of her hard work. Well, then ask for that instead of his opinion about the window. I hate when someone expects me to be a mind reader.

I don’t blame Eddie for not wanting to support Tamra’s adult son. Tamra says that Ryan (her son) is still figuring his life’s plan out and he always does it the hard way. How hard is getting 8000 bucks from your mom?

Cool! Lisa Rinna is having dinner with Heather. I love her so much! She and Eileen Davidson were the best thing to happen to the Beverly Hills Wives since Kyle called out Kim for being an alcoholic. She’s with me on the mind reading thing too.

OMG-OMG-OMG! Next week it shows Brooks producing some document, but then Meghan saying they don’t do that test at wherever it was he went. I have a couple of thoughts here. I worked in a women’s clinic for a couple of years, so I know they don’t always give everyone all the information. I don’t know how Meghan approached them, so this Devil’s Advocate theory is on hold. The other thought is that everyone keeps saying Brooks is such a smooth con man. Why would he go through all the trouble of cooking up a fake document and make a mistake like that?

Discuss.

** Author’s note: A few episodes ago, in writing about Brook’s treatment, I should have said it was “reservatrol” that was being used.

Ladies of London

Annabelle writes children’s books, using the alienation she felt as a child, growing up in privileged society. I want to say something sarcastic about her having it so tough, but everyone has their own set of problems, and everyone’s problems are just as important to them as mine are to me. The angel shoulder won out this time.

Marissa, who I’m growing not too fond of, runs restaurants with her husband, but she wants her own gig. She’s going to open a place that sells organic hot dogs, fries and shakes, what she calls American street food. Maybe in California, where she’s from, but that don’t sound like no Sabrett.

Julie and Juliet (thank God there’s no Julia…yet) are planning a get together to watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. This startles me and I think I’ve lost time, until I realize this is not in sync with the real calendar.

The Christmas numbers for Caroline’s store are not good. Her assistant, or manager, or whatever she is wants her to be all emotional, but that’s not the way Caroline #1 rolls. Julie is meeting her for lunch. Julie makes some kind of energy “balls” (similar to energy bars), and is marketing them to gyms and studios, but is ready for the big league. They verge on making jokes akin to the Schweddy Balls sketch on SNL, and discuss her business plan.

The New Year’s Eve party, in Juliet’s penthouse, looks fabulous. And Marissa looks like she has a stick up her butt. Things start off well, but after swilling a lot of champagne, Julie and Caroline #2 (the baroness) do a headstand trying to make some yoga point. Caroline #1 says something that Julie takes as “a massive dig” at her and she’s crying, but I don’t see it and blame it on the booze champagne. Or maybe this is something only yoga people understand. What really doesn’t make sense is that Caroline was all kinds of insulting at their lunch and Julie just laughed it off. Caroline apologizes, but Julie doesn’t want to let it go. More champagne, please!

This is so freaking cool! They go up to the roof to watch the Londoners partying in the street below. It reminds me of the New Year’s Eve scene in The Spice Girls‘ One Hour of Girl Power. They go back in and drink some more. Caroline #1 brings in a bunch of animal costume onesies for adults. I’m really not sure what to make of this. No more for Caroline. Juliet’s husband is lying on a couch pre-nursing a hangover, and Caroline #1 straddles him and makes rude movements.  She just got done saying that someone with a title shouldn’t be standing on their head. I’m losing respect quickly.

So is Juliet and it says “to be continued.”

Congrats to Game of Thrones on their Emmy sweep!

Sep19

September 18, 2015 — GH & Zombies on the Run

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Ava asks Scotty how this could have happened. Judging by the flimsy door and lock, does she really need to ask? Ha-ha! Scotty is trying to say she still owes him the money. For what? He has no evidence anymore.

It’s the usual revolving door in the ICU.

Dillon has had a “cease and desist” letter about his film project. He needs yet one more permit. This isn’t surprising, since they live in the NYC/NJ area where everyone is fee’d to death. My problem here though, is that all he’s doing is holding auditions right now, so cease and desist what? Someone is jumping the shark or in this case, the cease and desist letter. Mayor Lomax’s signature is on the letter and Paul says he went to law school with her, and she’s always been both ambitious and ethically challenged. I’m geographically challenged, so please don’t ask me for any directions or even to name all the states.

Morgan can’t wait any longer, and is moving on from Julian’s place to hunt him down. Meanwhile, Carly and Michael are going slightly bonkers because they’re worried about him. Julian is with Alexis at her place and they’re planning on taking off to some cabin somewhere. As they leave, TJ emerges from…the bathroom? How come no one knew he was there? At any given time, I can guarantee that I know how many people (and dogs) are in my house. In Port Charles, nobody ever knows who’s lurking around where, but if you’re looking for someone, check the hospital. Lots of people like to wander around there.

Emma (another kid I love, even though I don’t love kids on soaps) has given Patrick a worry doll for his birthday. He’s going to be lending that out a lot. A low key birthday party is going on with Emma, Danny, Anna and Sam in attendance.

What the what? TJ is taking the info about the cabin. Why? Brilliant of them to just leave it there out in the open too. Oops! He runs into Morgan as he’s leaving. Once again, Morgan doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer and asks TJ another 12 times if he knows who shot Sonny. TJ doesn’t buy what Morgan is selling (i.e. that he’s there to find Alexis so she can help one of her many daughters) and Morgan has to admit why he’s really there. Apparently, in all the confusion, someone has forgotten to sign the commitment papers for him.

Oh no! Ava is changing her hair back to blonde, even though she looks smashing as a brunette. She’s also going to give herself a haircut. This is never a good idea IRL, but I’m sure the miracle of television will make it look like she went to a salon. “Denise” was actually supposed to be a hairdresser, so there’s some kind of irony here.

Paul calls Mayor Lomax to chat her up. She had a crush on him in law school and he gets her to retract the letter. Since it looked like Tracy and Paul were on the verge of rekindling their relationship, she is not too happy that the mayor has also asked to meet with Paul.

Morgan is nowhere to be found and Michael says that’s okay, even though he’s gunning for Julian, he won’t do anything stupid. Because, you know, he has the reputation of being completely level-headed.

Yep, perfect haircut on Ava. It looks like she has lowlights too. Whatever coloring product she used must be amazing. And quick, since this all took about five minutes. Fast birthday party also. Sam is already cleaning up. She’s given Patrick a guitar as a gift. Does this mean we’re putting on another show? It must have been what he really wanted, since he asks Sam to marry him.

Wow. The cabin looks just like both Alexis’s and Julian’s apartments. No surprise, after getting into his Star Trek transporter, Morgan shows up.

Z Nation

Now that Citizen Z’s compound has pretty much been blown apart, he has a lot more to worry about than the cosmonaut in his head. Because of the blast, a plane crashed nearby and zombies have been let loose in the North Pole. Please, oh please, don’t let anything happen to him and especially not to Pup. Unfortunately, in his zeal to try and keep Murphy safe, he’s created a whole host of other problems for our friends (otherwise known as Operation Bite Mark).

Zombies driving cars! Everyone is after Murphy (or “The Murphy,” as he’s being called by some), including a group who look like they’re part of a drug cartel and another who seem like hillbillies – they don’t want the bounty, they want to kill Murphy for sport. Everyone is shooting the place up and these ain’t your mother’s zombies. No matter how you die, you’ll turn into one. And God only knows what kind of zombies those nuclear bombs created. Operation Bite Mark is after Murphy too, and so far is surviving. A guy who looks like Pablo Escobar shoots Murphy, but then is shot by some random woman. Murphy asks her for help and she responds by shooting him in the stomach. I’m guessing she’s after the reward, but as she moves toward him, kind-of-zombie Cassandra grabs her from behind. Bye-bye. Cassandra also sees 10K, named for the amount of zombies he wants to kill, but leaves him alone.

I spend a lot of this show going, ohshitohshitohshit in my head and I’m doing it right now. I can’t imagine this episode ending without us losing someone. Shooting and running and zombies, oh my! Maybe Murphy should lose the disco coat he’s wearing so he can blend in better. He runs for cover into a hotel and is being trailed by his kind-of-zombie-girlfriend Cassandra, as well as a small band of “Zs.” Honestly, if this wasn’t so serious, it would seem like a Marx Brothers movie. The effects aren’t grandiose, but perfectly executed, and the scenes seem more intense because there is no background music – just the sounds of quiet running and breathing.

10K has lost his hearing from being too close to an explosion, and that doesn’t bode well for being on the defense, especially since he now tends to shout at inopportune times. Oooh, in a smart move, Murphy has given the disco jacket to another zombie.

Hillbilly Guy has found the room Murphy is hiding in, but doesn’t see him because Murphy is in the closet. In an earlier episode, Murphy discovered that he can not only control the zombies somewhat through thoughts, but can also tap into humans. I can’t be positive this is what he’s doing, but he stares hard through the door slats at Hillbilly Guy, who stops looking for him and turns his attention (and gun) to the window. Doc and 10K have also shown up, and 10K covers Doc while he gets into the hotel. Coming up behind Hillbilly Guy, Doc’s gun jams (my freakin’ heart!) and he throws it at Hillbilly Guy, making him drop his. Murphy, please come out of that closet – and I don’t mean that as a euphemism for anything.

A lot of back and forth fighting ensues, and I almost thought we were going to lose Doc as Hillbilly Guy is strangling him, but Doc has an out of body moment and sees a weapon at the top of the closet that he’s able to knock down before he’s knocked out, and kills Hillbilly Guy. Murphy dashes out, bidding Doc farewell. Gee, thanks for the help.

I swear if I don’t have a heart attack by the end of this episode, I’ll never have one.

The name of the episode is White Light, and there are weird glimpses into everyone’s childhood as they each have near death experiences. I’m not sure what this vehicle is being used for exactly. If anything.

Roberta, who has just missed getting killed by Hillbilly Guy 2, finds Murphy on the roof of the building. He jumps off, into a pool loaded with zombies, but since he heals pretty easily, walks out and is off like a dirty pair of underwear (as my dad used to say). Head Cartel Guy is watching everything from another roof, and covers what is possibly a bite mark on his wrist. (We also see he has a “Z” tattoo on his hand.) Murphy steals (is there such a thing as stealing anymore?) a car and tries to book, but Addy drags his ass out of it. Her anger is understandable, since she has just had to “give mercy” – a nice way of saying shoot in the head – to Mack, her kind-of-boyfriend and closest confidante, who had gotten locked in a stairwell full of zombies. If it hadn’t been for Murphy running in the first place, none of this would have happened. After Addy nearly beats Murphy to a pulp, Roberta asks where Mack is. Superb acting job here, as there is no dialogue, only exchanged glances, and the glances say everything.

In a way, it’s nice to see Citizen Z get some action and beat the crap out of some zombies. Apparently video games aren’t all bad. He seems prepared for this moment. The absence of Pup is making me nervous though. I’m also kind of sad that the compound got trashed. It was such an amazing place.

This show is relentless and fierce and funny, and is some of the most enjoyable television I’ve ever seen.

In playing “Six Degrees of Separation” with my entertainment, I just read that Game of Thrones author, George R.R. Martin, has confirmed that he will be appearing on the show as his zombie self signing his own books. How freaking cool is that? Nice plug too!

Sep18

September 17, 2015 — GH & 100 New York Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

I had an appointment – ok, I went to lunch with a karaoke friend – so I DVR’d it. Glad to see the hospital machines attached to Sonny are in working order now.  Carly was getting dangerously close to one of those tubes though, when she was petting his face.

Morgan is going apesh*t on TJ, grilling him about who Charlie’s boss is, and generally acting crazy. He doesn’t know. Accept it.

Lots of tension at the police station with the Dante/Valerie tryst, but no real moving forward with the storyline. I can’t wait!

Sonny’s daughter, Kristina, arrives on the scene at Alexis’s place. I’ve given up trying to keep whose kids are whose at this point. There are so many baby daddies and mamas, I need a scorecard.

Scotty has blackmailed Ava out of 5 million, in exchange for the flash drive that holds her confession to Connie Falconeri’s murder. Since this evidence has “disappeared,” Ava is a free woman. For now.

Julian is still swearing he’s innocent and more mushy stuff with Carly and Sonny, and Kristina and Sonny in the hospital.

The ending wasn’t bad though. Just when I thought it was nearly a total loss and I shouldn’t have bothered, Scotty and Ava arrive at his place to find it tossed. And no doubt the flash drive is gone. Morgan is also on his way to Julian’s with a gun.

The Real Housewives of NYC: 100th Episode Special

Eight years? Has it really been eight years? Only the OC Wives had been aired when NYC began, making them the beginning of the franchise. It was originally going to be called Manhattan Moms, but they don’t really explain why it was changed. I just can’t imagine it being called that.

In the first minute, this is already fun because they’re showing some clips from the Wives’ audition tapes, interspersed with individual interviews with Andy at the clubhouse. Right away, I miss Alex and Simon. And I don’t miss Jill Zarin, who declined to take part in this show. Because, you know, she is the be all and end all, and can’t believe it’s continued without her. You got fired. Get over it.

Ramona goes on once again about how weird she thought Alex and Simon were, especially since they never wanted to go out apart. Um…who’s still married? I know, I know, I’m being mean, but I’m not too fond of Ramona, who, despite her “new beginnings,” needs to get her nose out of the air. Ramona admits to not being welcoming to Alex and Simon because she felt they were co-dependent and didn’t like it. How mature of her. Simon always reminded me of someone they’d pick to be a contestant on Graham Norton’s made-up game, Gay or Eurotrash? Ramona had a lot of tense moments involving those two. And I think she’s weirder than the both of them put together.

There are some clips from the various trips they’ve taken, and I’m with the Countess, my favorite being their trip to Morocco. The markets look fabulous, and of course there was that bucking camel who almost threw the Countess. It’s interesting to see how the Countess has changed over the years. We’ve gone from “introduce me as Mrs. de Lesseps” to “don’t be all uncool.” In her underwear. Bethenny says she didn’t even know what a countess was before meeting the Countess.  To be honest, I don’t know all the particulars either, but my husband is a marquis and I can tell you that the title and three bucks will get you on the subway in NYC.

Interesting how some watched the OC show prior to being on the NYC one, but others didn’t. I’m not sure if I would or not. It’s almost like deciding if you should read the book before you do the movie. Almost.

Ha-ha! Bethenny says Jill can smell D-list fame like a dog smelling steak. I’ll bet Aviva can too.

Alex and Simon were nothing compared to Kelly, who didn’t even seem to exist on the same planet as the rest of us. Confusing Al Sharpton with Jack Nicholson is pretty out there. And today she blames the other women for an unmarketable time period after the show was aired. Like her behavior had nothing to do with it.

Oh yeah, here comes One Season Cindy. Remember her? Me neither. Heather says her first day of shooting was like the first day of summer camp. What kind of camp did she go to? Was this in the Berkshires?

The whole Jill/Bethenny feud – if that’s what you want to call it – was kind of sad. It seems that Jill thought of them as some kind of team, and when Bethenny’s career took off without her, she got mean. (Ooh, that almost rhymed.) Bethenny tells Andy that it’s not like she was in a girl band. Apparently, after that season ended, Bethenny thought all was well, but Jill waited until the cameras were rolling again to create a scene. She wanted to make Bethenny look bad, but it backfired, and she got fired. Bethenny says that Jill did indeed help to get her on the show, she became the most successful of the Wives, and Jill could have been along for the ride with her, but “pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, she wanted it all, but ended up with nothing.

One of the greatest moments in Housewives history was when Aviva threw her artificial leg on the table at La Cirque, stating that it was the only fake thing about her. She tells Andy he’s welcome, and admits to having planned it. Um, we figured that out pretty quickly, since one of those isn’t removed in 5 seconds. Let’s hope not anyway. She says “somebody had to put their foot down.” What a card! When asked for her reaction to the leg incident, the Countess says her first thought was that there’s a dirty shoe near the silverware. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have thought the same. Bethenny also talks about how Aviva was concerned she might not make it onto the show, but Bethenny reassured her that anyone who’d slept with two of the Wives exes and had one leg would be a shoo-in. I’m a card too.

Another great shining Aviva moment. When she declared that Truman Capote was the ghostwriter for To Kill a Mockingbird. Enough said about Aviva.

Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about how, during the first reunion, it was brought up that Alex had posed nude and Ramona left the stage. (BTW, nice crotch shot as she was getting up – what a lady! I hadn’t noticed that before.) This was a seriously ridiculous moment. And it wasn’t even like she posed for Hustler or something. They were art photos. Ramona is bizarrely hypocritical.

Aww! Bethenny is getting all weepy and thanking Andy for the opportunity to influence other women.

Watch What Happens Live Special: Top 10 NYC Moments

Andy shows a “Housewives Playhouse” clip with Bill Hader, Amy Schumer & Judd Apatow reenacting the scene in Turks and Caicos where the Countess offers eggs a la Francaise as a cure all for everything. Judd is playing the Countess like she’s Al Bundy. I have the feeling he’s never seen the show. Bill Hader says he doesn’t even know who his character is, but is still better than Judd. Amy, of course, is admittedly the biggest Wives fan on the planet.

We’re treated to Sonja’s first caberlesque. She really is in amazing shape. We’re also shown clips of the Ramonacoaster and Sonja’s advice. There’s a Halloweave special that I don’t remember. How could I not remember this? Simon sings I’m Real, one of the many Housewives musical efforts, except he’s not a housewife and can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket. Not that it’s ever stopped anyone else.

The Countess singing is the number one moment? Really? Okay, maybe. It was certainly the most lively moment out of what we were given. I guess Andy picked these?

I wish Andy would have another New Year’s Eve party. Like the one and only he had where Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles. It was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. And yes, I know how sad that sounds.

And, as always, we’re left with the eternal question…

WHAT’RE YOU DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?

Sep17

September 16, 2015 — Port Charles, Los Angeles & We Have a Winner

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

  

General Hospital

Hey, yeah, where has Diane been? I think the last time I saw her, she was on Devious Maids. I know she works a lot, but she couldn’t show up for Ava?

I don’t want any of these people to visit me in the hospital ever. They haven’t stopped yelling at each other for days. Julian tells Lucas that he’s really out of the mob business, and “this time it’s different.” Whenever someone uses that phrase, it’s time to not believe them.

Commercial break.There’s something called The National Sleep Foundation and they have an official pillow? Is there a mascot too? Some ad for a marathon is using Back in the New York Groove as background music. Best solo song by a KISS member (Ace Frehley) ever.

Scotty claims that Diana is no longer representing the Jeromes because she’s dating one of Sonny’s goombahs, and she ripped up the retainer check. Ava says she doubts Diana would ever rip up any check and I tend to agree.

Oh man, this whole Valerie/Dante/Lulu thing is getting good. Cool. Nathan is calling Valerie out. Good Lord, she needs to get a grip. Not that I ever was in her exact position, but back in the day, I’d eat some ice cream, cry, and then move on.

What the blip kind of room do they have Sonny in? It looks like some strange hotel and the machines he’s hooked up to aren’t even making any noise.

MasterChef: 2 Hour Finale

We start off with a race through my beloved pantry. Can we move this pantry to my house? I swear I’d cook every night. Each home cook has to make a 3 course meal and gets a sous chef, one of the contestants who was ousted earlier in the season. The judges are 30 chefs from the restaurants of Gordon, Graham and Christina.

What does a “provocative dish” mean? Is it wearing pasties or something? I wish Claudia would quit messing around with that octopus. I’ve actually eaten it and like it, but prefer the Japanese breaded and fried version. I don’t like anything I’m eating to look like it did when it was alive. OMG – she runs out of octopus because they forgot to take one out of the pot. Really? How can you forget about an octopus?

Everything looks amazing and I’d even eat the looks-like-it-did-in-the-ocean octopus. Stephen makes pan seared scallops. He’s used edible flowers, which heretofore have been a turn-off for me. Claudia has the octopus going on and Derrick has made Miso Black Cod. Derrick wins this round, both on the show and with me personally.

The pressure test is also a 3-course meal: a cheese soufflé, steak frites and panna cotta – some kind of dessert I’ve never heard of, but looks like it’s seriously hard to make, on par with the soufflé. The contestants get to SKYPE with some friends and family members. Claudia has some problem with the dessert, but I don’t have a clue as to what it is. Stephen has put his soufflés in too early and Gordon has his hand to his forehead like he has a headache. Whatever Claudia’s problem was, has apparently been solved. Graham examines one of her fancy French fries like it’s a precious diamond. I love how he always holds everything up to the light and looks at it six different ways.

Claudia wins this one and is going on to the final final. I eat my words about Stephen being the winner and make a stupid pun. Rooting for Claudia now.

Derrick is making a pork belly (nice cut of meat!) dinner and Claudia is going for a Mexican tamale extravaganza. Wow. I never noticed how many tattoos Graham has. Derrick is “infusing” practically everything with watermelon. I just prefer my fruit separate from my proteins, with the exception of pineapple on ham or pizza. I guess if you’re going to do something like that, do it with pork. The other white meat. Sorry, it just naturally follows. Citrus fruit doesn’t count either.

Uh-oh. This really isn’t good. It’s only the appetizer round and Gordon is asking why Claudia chose food he could get on a food truck and she talks about her roots and how she wanted to elevate this food style. He eats, likes, and tells her she took something common and made it unique. What looked really awful for a second has made a 180.

Derrick’s entrée is venison; Claudia’s is swordfish. Still rooting for Claudia. I don’t know how these people can cook with all the noise from the spectators. Man, I don’t know what it is that Derrick is making to go with the venison (hey, I have to eat too, and I went to the microwave), but it looks phenomenal and crunchy. Puff pastry cage. Love it, but you can have the huckleberry sauce. Gordon tells Claudia that if the fish is dry, she’s screwed. Why do they like to make the contestants all nervous? I highly doubt Claudia is going to make anything too dry. I’d make a safe bet that she knows what she’s doing.

Commercial break. Can’t wait for Scream Queens to start, but it does throw a wrench into Tuesdays, which are difficult enough.

Of course the fish isn’t dry. I said it wouldn’t be dry. Now my leftover Chinese food is looking drabber by the second. For dessert, it’s sponge cake for Derrick, but he can’t get the cake batter out of the doodad he’s using. It’s a tense moment, but Derrick emerges victorious. Owow, this is like no sponge cake I ever ate. Claudia has made a Hibiscus poached pear. It wouldn’t be my first choice because there’s no chocolate involved, but I have to admit it looks fantastic. Derrick says he served the judges “art on a plate.” Who cares? There was chocolate around it.

Ok, here comes the hokey part where the final two try to open the doors and the one that opens is the winner. Never mind, that’s the other show, Hell’s Kitchen. I watch too much of this stuff and it’s all blending in together. Claudia wins! I picked the winner! (Out of the last two anyway.)

Little Women of LA

Why can’t they rerun Little Women of LA back to back like a lot of shows do? Now I have to make a choice between that and Rick Springfield on Watch What Happens Live. I guess I’ll DVR Rick, which means it will go into the black hole of recorded shows, never to be seen.

Tonya’s idea of a workout video for little people is brilliant. As our population grows, mo’ people equals mo’ little people, and mo’ whatever other kind of people we have. It’s both helpful to others and an untapped market.

There’s a bit too much TMI regarding Christy and Todd’s artificial insemination project, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Elena is having trouble picking out a dress for her vow renewals. She wants to have everything she didn’t the first time around. It seems like what she really wants is for her sister to be at the ceremony. Apparently, you need a damn good reason to visit the US from Russia, and her sister’s application for a Visa had been rejected a few years ago.

As much as I like them, every time Christy and Todd come on screen, I want to put my fingers in my ears and do the “la-la-la” thing. The insertion process is very painful and I’m wondering why they don’t use any type of anesthesia. I sincerely hope a pregnancy results from all this.

The girls show up for the workout taping and nothing is set up. Even worse, what they have to work with is totally unprofessional. They’re basically putting up photos and a handmade banner to the wall as a background. Brilliant idea, but not very well thought out execution. All of a sudden, the girls are questioning what they’re being paid. (Pretty much nothing.) Isn’t the time to do this before you sign up? Tonya doesn’t like anyone giving her direction. Geez, I’ll bet even Alec Baldwin takes direction. Everything is taking way too long and everyone is getting worn out. Like Don on Below Deck, Tonya decides it’s just too hard and quits.

After a pep talk in the hallway, Tonya has regrouped and decided to delegate. They’re going to have to put in another day though, and Briana isn’t happy about that. I think she’s really mad about the girls’ saying she seemed jealous of Elena’s upcoming vow renewal, which Brittney just had to let her in on.

Fastest pregnancy test ever! And I really appreciate seeing Christy’s pee in a cup. I guess I should be grateful I didn’t have to see her peeing into the cup. Ugh! The test was negative. Sadness all around.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh says that social media is more important to the real estate business in L.A. than anywhere else. I think that says something about L.A. Superficiality anyone? Although I do have to say, I went to L.A. for a V convention once and it wasn’t all tall skinny blondes with fake boobs. And there was the Clifton Cafeteria.

This is another one of those shows that I enjoy, but there isn’t much to say about it. It goes without saying that the homes are fabulous or they wouldn’t be on a show called Million Dollar Listing. The brokers act obnoxious for the most part, although I’m not sure how much is for the camera. If I saw two brokers going at it the way they do on these shows, I wouldn’t want to deal with either one of them. Although we do get a glimpse into their private lives, I’ve never had much investment in these guys. Perhaps a little more in the NYC group, but having spent nearly half my life there, I tend to gravitate toward any show with that background setting.

And I just love looking at amazing places I will never be able to afford in a million years and make myself miserable.

Sep16

September 15, 2015 — Port Charles, a Mermaid & a Birthday

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

I like Rick’s Clark Kent look sooo much better. I tend to forget he’s Sonny’s brother on a regular basis. Like any time he’s not mentioning it.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY, ELIZABETH, TELL HIM!

Oh great, she’s telling Jake her other secret.

Everyone is getting all lovey dovey over Sonny. Big decision happening. If they remove the bullet, he could bleed to death due to his weakened condition, but if they wait for him to get stronger, in the meantime, the bullet could move and kill him. Everyone clap if you believe in fairies Sonny.

Ha-ha! Rick suggests he and Sam get back to their “regularly scheduled animosity.” Don’t tell me Rick and Sam are going to end up putting 2 and 2 together before Elizabeth gets a conscience.

I don’t think Morgan is bi-polar. I think he’s uni-polar because I’ve only seen one mood out of him – whiny and/or angry whiny. I have to add that Bryan Allen Craig is really good in this part, but he’s probably wishing they’d give him more to work with too.

Yeah, yeah, we all have regrets, Liz. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Why don’t you tell him??? I’ve never really liked Elizabeth, but I’ve never thought of her as stupid. Someone is going to come up with this sooner or later, and the only way for her to save herself is to tell him first. Although who knows? I never understood Jason anyway.

Commercial time. I guess a lot of the shows are starting their seasons this week. I am so glad Z Nation is back. Like Sweeny Todd’s arm, my Fridays are complete again.

Hey, I think I have that sweater/jacket that Carly is wearing. It wouldn’t be the first time. A while ago, I got the best sweater from Nasty Gal online and before I even had a chance to wear it, Britt showed up in the same one. Then I was afraid to wear it because I thought people would think I was just trying to copy her, when in reality, it was the other way around.

Maxie and Nathan – my favorite couple! Whoa. Maxie got a little close there too, with Jake’s real identify. Can Elizabeth do something with her hands other than wringing them? She’s been doing that for 2 days like she has OCD.

We end with Sonny being wheeled into surgery. And one more day that Jake doesn’t know who he is.

Below Deck

Don has decided to skip out mid-charter because he’s an engineer and would rather take his marbles and go home than admit he’s wrong. Idiot. Connie isn’t sad to see him go (me neither), but admits it leaves them short-handed.

I desperately want to get in that water. I did vacation in the Bahamas once. When I was 14 and had no appreciation for it. I only wanted to get back home to my friends. One of those sad ironies of life. I join Don in the idiot pool and wish I could have a do-over and spend a week there now.

Dean (the primary guest) wants the crew to have a “dive off” where the guests will score them and the prize is $500. If holding your nose and jumping off the boat counted, I’d be in. The crew dons costumes. Connie wears a shark tank suit and a tutu, which looks like one of my club outfits from the ‘80s. Captain Lee says, “There are no depths to which we won’t sink to get a good tip,” and I’m not sure if he’s making a pun or not. Although he does seem to have lightened up since last season.

Rocky reminds me of Audrey Landers from the original Dallas, except I like Audrey Landers. Rocky is one of those airhead girls who is desperate for attention that guys who don’t know any better will drool over and girls will roll their eyes at. We’ve all had one in our orbit at one time or another. They’re the ones who shamelessly flirt with your boyfriend and then don’t understand what they did wrong.

Kate doesn’t want to get her hair wet, so she wears a head to toe bright red…something.  She still gets an 8. Rocky is wearing a pink wig and is reminding me of Meghan Edmonds on Watch What Happens Live, making me like her even less. Everyone has a great time and it’s nice to see everyone getting along – crew and guests.

I think Kate has a crush on Dean. They’ve come a long way from that first charter. Time for the Greek party!

There’s an ad for a Cinderella movie I’ve never heard of. Helena Bonham Carter is the fairy godmother and it looks pretty good. Real Housewives of New York 100th Episode Special – this Thursday! An ad too, for Teresa “checking in” on RHONJ. That whole situation is just sad. They seem like obnoxious people – although the eldest daughter is turning out nicely – but I think the court wanted to make an example of them because they’re on TV and they were treated unfairly. I’ve watched them for so long, they’re like unbearable cousins that I have to tolerate on holidays. I don’t like them that much, but I don’t wish them ill either. Like I do you-know-who. Just kidding! Karma and all that.

OMG – Rocky has won the diving contest, although she had said she was a Junior Olympic diving champ some years ago. She also gets to be the mermaid. I’d be jealous of that – what girl hasn’t wanted to be, or at least see a mermaid? – but I don’t think I really want to wear one of those tails. It looks like it would be hot, as well as a real disadvantage when having to go to the bathroom.

Wow. The strawberry compote must be something. One of the guests is licking the glass it was served in.

Amy is trying to teach Rocky how to be a good stew. Good luck with that. Which is what I say when what I really mean is, all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you. Sure enough, Rocky sees that it’s work and can’t possibly.

The towline has become entangled in the propeller, so someone is going to have to dive down and get it off of there.  Eddie goes, because it’s kinda sorta his fault, since he should have been on top of whoever was supposed to be watching.

The tip is “20 large,” as Captain Lee puts it. Right now, everyone is glad Don skipped out. (It comes out to 2 grand each.) The Captain wants them all to stay in tonight because he wants the boat cleaned up and shipshape for the next charter. Emile asks the Captain if he and Rocky can go to dinner off the boat, and reminds me of asking my dad if I could go out on a date. Captain Lee gives them 2 hours, and says he wishes someone would take him out to dinner. I totally volunteer.

Uh-oh, Eddie is talking to his girlfriend and we all know that long distance relationships rarely work out.  It’s not good when every other word is an F-bomb and they’re not talking about doing it. Eddie ends up threatening to hang up, hangs up, and then throws the phone. Why does everyone always throw the phone? I decided to throw a plate once when I was angry, just to see what satisfaction it gives. All I got was a broken plate and a mess to clean up.

Emile gets super wasted – no nookie tonight! No eros on the Eros.

My Fab 40th

I’m watching this, but there isn’t much to say. You can’t really invest in the “characters” because it’s a one-shot deal. And it’s kind of like going to a shower. It’s great if it’s yours, but if not, they’d better have liquor.

Sep15

September 14, 2015 – GH, the OC & London Ladies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

I watched this on the fly today, but caught the main points. The main point of those main points being, we’re going to drag out this Jake/Jason thing for as long as possible. We might even spend the entire week with Elizabeth saying how bad what she has to tell him is, and “Jake” saying, it can’t possibly be that bad. Yes, it can.

Franco to the rescue! Finally, someone shoves Rick’s phone in his face along with the baby cry app. Nina tells Rick she never promised him a rose garden, and they make Rick sign or unsign some papers.

It’s nice to see the flashbacks of Sonny, but I’m still waiting for those Luke flashbacks. I guess I’m never going to get them. (sigh)

Maybe Sonny will go to heaven/hell and meet up with those guys from One Life to Live, or at least the Quartermaines who have gone before.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Jim’s daughter decided to throw a party while they were away & trashed her mom’s house. I see Meghan’s youthful mom influence has helped. Although I agree with her about LeeAnn not standing her ground with grounding. Meghan, Heather and Shannon (!) are having a meal and a confab, mostly about Brooks. Once again James Bond Meghan has contacted the doctor Brooks says he’s using, claiming to be looking for cancer treatment, and also contacted a disgruntled ex-girlfriend of Brooks (she had a friend in the same town get the number) who said he’s a phony baloney on a blog.

The doctor’s office says the doctor doesn’t treat cancer. While this sounds bad, I continue to play devil’s advocate – mostly because Meghan is such a snot rag – it’s still possible he does. Brooks said in an earlier episode that this guy treated his own cancer with polyphenols. It’s possible that this is something experimental and maybe he doesn’t want it advertised.

Tamra’s mom is newly single and going on a blind date – with Tamra and her son hiding in the bushes at a table in the background. Tamra expresses outrage at someone “60ish” wearing a low cut zebra top. It’s a really nice top and I think she’s being weird and rude. What else is new?

The thing I hate about Meghan, besides her ageism, is her attitude. While for all I know, she’s right about the whole thing, it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from a place of concern. It’s more like a vendetta against Vicki. No surprise, Jim doesn’t want to hear about it. She must have an awful lot of time on her hands.  Maybe she should get a job.

“Wow,” says Lizzie, when Meghan says what she’s been doing. Wow, indeed. After she texted the ex-girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend told Brooks. I guess she’s not disgruntled anymore. If anything had really been wrong, why would the ex do that? Is she involved in this conspiracy too.

Shannon is having a party for her and her fellow Aries (Arieses?). The decorations are awesome and there’s even a huge Chinese dragon in the pool. It’s officially a party, since Tamra has already broken a glass. Brooks asks to speak with Meghan and Jim in private. Jim looks like he wants the ground to swallow him. We get a flashback about what the psychic actually said, and it was that he had a “wishy-washy” perspective on Brook’s cancer, and he “just didn’t see it.” Although if they’d extended that flashback, we would have also seen him backpedal, saying that there were other reasons he might be getting those vibes, other than that there was no cancer ever. Meghan gripes about Vicki questioning her character, but Vicki didn’t start doing that until Meghan started putting her nose in Vicki’s business like a truffle pig.

Nobody knows what to do. I have an idea. Mind your own business and keep your mouths shut. What a concept! Unless I thought Brooks was beating on Vicki, at this point, I’d do an Elsa and let it go. If he’s a con man (which again, I’m not so sure of), he’s a smooth one and seems to treat her well.

Meghan immediately makes a beeline for Tamra after this discussion. The beans that Vicki actually spilled got credited to Tamra. Brooks said he didn’t talk to Tamra (and he hadn’t) and to “consider the source.” This makes Tamra crazy, and she gets all loud and squeaky while following Brooks around. I see Christianity is really working for her. Why can’t anyone ever wait until after a party/dinner/lunch to create chaos? Never mind that, why can’t they wait 5 minutes? Wow, she’s reading an incredible amount into only three words.

Cool! Lisa Rinna is stopping by next episode. I love her!

Ladies of London

The two Carolines go shopping in one of those rich people’s stores where it looks half bare. These stores always seem weird to me. I guess rich people are always in a hurry and don’t have time to shop or it makes it seem exclusive if there are fewer items. I’d miss going through all the racks, especially since it would be even more fun when you could buy whatever you wanted.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s Christmas and of course everyone’s house is decorated perfectly. Caroline #2 (the Baroness) is having a Scandanavian Christmas party. I’m not sure how this is different from a regular Christmas party, but I’m guessing fish will be served. I went to a Scandanavian restaurant once and they had fish with a side of fish. (As opposed to Oklahoma where they have beef with a side of beef.) Geez, she almost dropped one of her Dachshunds and I almost had a heart attack. I have to say, I’m impressed with the Baroness doing all the work herself. She also has a bowl of Cheetos out for cocktail time. I don’t like Cheetos, but it’s cool that she’s included them as an appetizer.

I never get why people who don’t like or can’t eat the main dish make a big deal out it. Frequently, it’s because it’s meat (in this case, goose – I was wrong about the fish). I haven’t been to a huge amount of dinner parties, but I’ve been to enough to know they just don’t throw you a slab of meat. There are other dishes available. They’re called side dishes and you can actually make a meal out of them. (Ok, maybe not in Oklahoma.)

Because of last week’s whoop-de-doo over Juliet not wanting to celebrate Thanksgiving with Marissa, Juliet is now not invited to some Christmas carol thing at Royal Albert Hall. Filing this under “who cares?” Marissa doesn’t seem like a very good friend and seems a little phony. I had hopes that Londoners would be less so. Oh, wait, she’s American. Really good of her to tread on a fellow Yank’s feelings. Seriously, who needs her? Caroline #1 explains that Juliet might feel animosity too, because Marissa is married to a Brit, making it easier to get into certain social circles. Whatever. More rich people’s problems.

When they came back from the commercial break, there was a Christmas carol playing and at first I thought it was an ad for a Christmas sale already. Caroline #1 says she’ll have to drink her way through this. I would too.

Caroline #1 also owns what she calls a “gifting shop,” and has found out that two key pieces – a watch and a bag – aren’t going to be ready by the holiday. This is not good as far as funding for the store goes. At least this is something we can all relate to.

Marissa and Juliet decide to have a sit down. Marissa is being surprisingly un-emotional, but Marissa has a face like a cat’s ass and is acting like a d-bag. IMO, this seems to boil down to the whole Thanksgiving thing. While I don’t mind in the least having Thanksgiving at a restaurant, and frequently do, why can’t Marissa get it through her thick head that it doesn’t feel like home to some people?

They basically break up and Juliet feels sad about it, but Marissa can’t wait to get onto her phone and start texting. Again, who needs her? Juliet reminds me of Jill on Odd Mom Out. She’s definitely a square peg in a round hole here, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

And can we please, please stop the pop-up ads at the bottom of the screen during a show? This is especially annoying when something has subtitles. I could swear I pay for these channels, and yet I have to watch advertising throughout the whole program. Who do they think they are? The Internet?