What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

The way they show the pictures in the new show opening, it’s like they’re flipping through cards.

At the hospital, Anna needs to know if it worked. Will she be able to see?

Elizabeth wants to buy something to bring to the bake sale, but Aiden says that’s cheating. They’re raising money to save the planet, and it should be all natural ingredients. Franco says if he wants to, they’ll bake from scratch. They need to check their supplies. He tells Elizabeth to go ahead. What could go wrong?

Josslyn finds Cameron in the chapel, sleeping and covered in flyers. She startles him, and he asks what she’s doing there. She says, waiting for Oscar. What’s he doing there? Is he on drugs?

At the hospital, Monica tells Michael that the service for Gail was meaningful. She was laid to rest next to Lee. They had many good years together, and loved each other very much. Michael says Monica has a lot on her plate, and needs to take time for herself. He suggests they take a day, and see a play in the city. Monica says he’s sweet, but she can’t leave with everything going on with Oscar. Michael says, sometimes we have to force ourselves to get away. You can’t help anyone else unless you take care of yourself. Monica says that’s something Gail used to say to her – a lot. She was lucky to have Gail by her by side, and she’s lucky to have him now. Gail made her realize it’s important to show up, even when it seems like the world has cut you off at the knees.

Willow comes into Charlie’s and tells Julian, before he asks, she didn’t pick the place. One of her student’s parent wanted to meet there. Julian says it’s not good for her to be there. She’s too close to the people connected to her son. She says, maybe, but it’s unavoidable. A lot of people there have ties to the baby she gave up.

Kim wants speak Terry alone before Oscar gets there. She tells Terry to be direct and as candid as possible. Oscar has some tough questions about what comes next. She and Drew discussed it, and they want complete transparency. If he’s brave enough to ask tough questions, they have to be brave enough to give him the truth.

Alexis sees Oscar, and says it’s good to see him out of the hospital bed. He says it’s good to be out. He tells her, nothing has changed since the last time. He wants to finish his will. She hugs him. She says she’s sorry the treatment didn’t work out. He says he’ll call her. He has an important meeting to go to right now.

Cameron tells Josslyn that he’s not doing drugs. He has to go to counseling sessions, and has a ridiculous amount of community service to do for his probation. She asks why he’s on probation, and he asks if she remembers when he was wearing a suit. He had to go to court because he got busted buying weed.

Julian thinks Willow should consider something. It might be easier for her to leave Port Charles; start somewhere else without the reminders. She says it’s not an out of sight out of mind situation. It won’t make her forget her son. Julian says he’s not hers son. He’s Lucas and Brad’s son. She says, legally, that’s true, but her heart says differently.

⚠There’s a mini-emergency here, so I miss the next part. It wasn’t that long, and I didn’t have time to fill it in later.⚠

Anna tells Chase to take his brother for coffee; he’s hovering. Griff seconds that, and when they’re gone, Anna tells him it was a good plan. He says it was her idea, but she says it was perfectly executed. If his career in medicine doesn’t work out, there’s a place for him in counter-intelligence can tell her how much damage to eyes

Oscar asks if he’s late, but Kim says she wanted to talk to Terry first. He asks, what about? and she says, no agenda. She wanted to make sure Oscar’s questions were answered directly, no matter how difficult they are. Terry says she’ll do her best, and Oscar says he’s ready. Terry asks where he wants to begin. He asks what it will be like when he’s dying.

Chase tells Finn, slow down. When Anna sent them for coffee, she didn’t mean a thirty-second dash to the vending machine. Finn wants to be by her side, but Chase says that’s what he wants; not Anna. She wants space and to know she’s being taken care of. She’s worried about him, and this is her way of taking care of him. Finn says it’s thoughtful – and annoying. How did Chase get dragged in? Chase says someone Finn cares about is sick, and she thought he could use some support.

Griff tells Anna the surgery went well. She’s stopped hemorrhaging, but he can’t predict when and if her sight will be fully restored. He’s going to remove the bandages, and she can check with the optic surgeon when he comes in. She understands. She’s glad Finn went out; he was hovering all over. He tells her, stop pretending she doesn’t enjoy it, but she says, it’s not fair. Griff says she’s a force of nature. She’s lucky to have someone like Finn to fuss over her. She asks if Griff is okay. It has to be hard for him too. He’s right. She’s lucky she has Finn. He’s used to taking charge, but how does he know this isn’t more than bargained for? He’s very particular. Griff says that’s her fear talking. Finn is totally in love with her, and unflinchingly by her side. She’s the one who got more than she bargained for.

Willow tells Elizabeth there’s been no recent evidence of bullying. Elizabeth asks if she thinks it’s over. Willow says Aiden still prefers to avoid the other kids. He might not want to be around them for some time. Elizabeth asks if she thinks other kids might be bullying him. Willow says, it’s possible. Kids will bully out of teacher range. Elizabeth doesn’t understand why the kids would turn on Aiden. She wonders if there’s something making him a target.

Alexis needs to talk to Julian. He asks what he did now. She tells him to put aside his misguided nobility, and see Kim.

Cameron tells Josslyn how he got arrested. She asks why he didn’t call her. Sonny’s lawyer could have gotten him off in five minutes. She doesn’t know how many times Diane has gotten charges dropped. He wishes he’d known that. His mom got Alexis, and they had an unfriendly judge. He got probation. Garbage pick-up, hospital work, and drug counseling. He doesn’t do drugs, but doesn’t want blow his future with the soccer team. He tells her to stop laughing. She says he cared enough to do that for Oscar; it’s awesome. He says now that Oscar is feeling better, he’ll never live it down. She says she knows Oscar didn’t want tell him, and she’s sorry that it was kept secret, especially since he got arrested. Oscar is never getting better.

Oscar says If he understands what’s coming, he won’t be so afraid. He can prepare as much as possible. He asks if his headaches will be more painful. Terry says they’ll manage the pain with medication, but they will get more severe. He asks about his balance. Will he start falling over? She says, eventually he may have difficulty maintaining his balance. He asks, what about having a stroke? Losing the ability to walk and talk. She says, they’re all possibilities. The symptoms differ in each patient. He might feel normal for a long time. She can’t give a definite answer. He gets up, and Kim asks, what’s the longest a someone with a similar prognosis has survived? Terry says, seven to eight months, and Kim says, the shortest? Terry says, six weeks. Oscar’s water bottle falls out of his hands. Kim goes to him, and hugs him.

Willow tells Elizabeth that kids can form a pack mentality, singling out one child. Aiden is a sweet kid. He takes care of the class Guinea pig, he likes to read, and he’s not into games. He’s taking steps to discover his own identity, and needs the freedom to do that. Elizabeth says they’ve been trying to give that to him. He lives in a non-traditional family. They’re very open, but still want to protect him. Willow says Elizabeth is a caring, involved mother, and Elizabeth says, it’s hard to watch. Willow wants Elizabeth to be assured that she’s monitoring the situation. She tells Elizabeth, remember it’s just one chapter in his life. This too shall pass. Elizabeth hopes it’s soon. She just wants him to be happy.

Aiden explains baking to Franco as he sifts flour. Franco is impressed, and asks where he learn to bake; TV? Aiden says, some. There are books in the library too. He asks if next time, they can make a three-layer chocolate cake. Franco is blown away, and asks why he didn’t tell them he liked baking so much. Aiden puts down the sifter. Franco says at Aiden’s age, he was into drawing. He didn’t tell anyone because he thought it was his special thing. Why he didn’t Aiden tell? Aiden says he didn’t want be laughed at again.

Alexis tells Julian that she ran into Oscar. He asks how Oscar is doing, and she says he needs to call Kim. He asks if the trial’s not working. Oscar is dying? Alexi says Kim needs him. He says she has Drew, but Alexis repeats that she needs Julian. Of all the times for him to back away, this is not a good time.

Josslyn tells Cameron the trial didn’t work. There’s nothing else the doctors can do for Oscar. Cameron sits down. He calls himself an idiot. He went on and on, saying Oscar was an inspiration because he beat cancer. Josslyn thinks Oscar didn’t want to tell him because Cameron had thought he won, and for a moment, Oscar wanted to pretend like he did. Cameron thought Oscar would never die; they’d be able to save him. Josslyn did too. He puts his arm around her, and asks if there’s anything he can do for her or Oscar. She says, just be a friend. He says always he’s there for them both, and she tells him, just stay out of jail.

Kim tells Oscar that he forgot something, and gives him the journal. He says at best, he has six months, probably less, but she tells him, don’t put a clock on it. Cross as many things off the list as possible. She’ll help him do it. She tells him, go be with Josslyn; have fun. He says he loves her. She says she loves him too, and hugs him. He leaves, and I think, this is depressing.

Finn asks if Chase has heard from the schoolteacher, and Chase says she was his date for New Year’s Eve. Finn says he’s totally blushing; he must really like her. Chase thinks so, but Finn never told him what made Anna go blind. Finn says, smooth topic change. Chase says he still wants to know, and Finn says, probably a virus. He’s waiting to get the results back. Griff comes out, and says he’s taking the bandages off. Anna wants Finn with her.

Elizabeth thanks Willow for meeting with her. Aiden is lucky to have such a thoughtful teacher. She has a gift for children. Elizabeth leaves, and gets a text when she’s outside. She says, bio what?

Franco and Aiden sit in front of the television. Aiden asks if they can watch the video where they make breakfast. He asks if Franco wants to watch with him, and Franco says, you better believe it.

Josslyn tells Cameron that she had plans to go to Mexico, New Zealand, and Kansas, where there’s a surgeon who works on inoperable tumors. While she was looking at cures, she got a weird familiar feeling. She asks if he remembers a tournament where they were losing badly. She wasn’t in the game because she’d hurt her ankle. She was on the sidelines, and imagining plays in her head where they would score points. She scored twenty-one points all by herself. It was unrealistic, wishful thinking to avoid the fact they lost. So when she was looking for cures online, she realized what she was doing. She was avoiding facing the fact that this is it. Oscar is going to die. Cameron asks if she stopped looking. She says they decided not to waste the time Oscar has left. They’re just going to make the best out of every day. Cameron gets a text, and says he’s late. If he doesn’t get home, his mom will kill him. He doesn’t want to leave her, but she says, Oscar is coming. He tells her that he’s there for the both of them, and leaves.

Monica sees Kim, and says she heard about Oscar. She’s so sorry. Kim thanks her for being so welcoming. Being part of the Quartermaine family meant the world to Oscar. Monica says it’s been a joy getting to know her grandson, and thanks Kim for sharing him with her. She’ll treasure the times they’ve spent together always. She asks how Kim is, but Kim doesn’t know what to do. Monica understands. There’s no guide book for parents on how to deal with a child’s death. Kim asks, how does she let go of her son?

Griff tells Anna, try and be patient, and takes the bandages off. She can see, but it’s blurry. Finn says, give it a moment; keep breathing. Her vision clears, and she tells him he has beautiful eyes. She cries, and thanks Griff.

Elizabeth walks in the door, and says, it smells yummy. Franco asks Aiden if he’s ready to unveil his creations. He lifts the napkins on the plates, and says, chocolate chip, oatmeal, and sugar cookies with sprinkles. Franco says, he’s a kitchen prodigy. Now she understands the text. Franco says, sorry about the mess. Cameron comes in, and asks if Elizabeth baked. She says, not her, his brother. She asks how counseling was, and he says, okay. Aiden gives him a cookie. He tastes it, and says, dude, this is really good.

Michael sees willow at Charlie’s. He says he’s missed her at meetings, and she tells him that she hasn’t been going as much. He says, that’s good right? That means she’s found peace?

Kim looks in the window, and almost runs into Julian. He says he was out getting marshmallows. There’s been a run on hot chocolate. He heard about Oscar, and he’s so sorry. She is too, and he says Oscar is a good kid. He loves her so much. Maybe she can take comfort in that. She says, for the jerk who slept with someone else, he sure is a good guy. He invites her in for a hot chocolate.

Chase tells Finn that he’s glad Anna is better, but he has to get going. He’s meeting someone. He asks Finn to tell Anna that he’s happy for her. Finn says he hopes Chase and someone have fun. Chase is glad he was there, and Finn says, him too.

Griff says Anna is looking good; no permanent trauma. He looks at her chart, and says it’s strange. He doesn’t recognize some of the markers. He says maybe Finn will have better luck.

Oscar apologizes for making Josslyn wait, but she doesn’t mind. He’s sorry they haven’t had much time lately. She says a lot of people want time with him. He starts to tell her something about what Terry said, but she interrupts. She says, not to be rude, but they’re on her time now, and there’s only one thing she wants to know. They have the whole afternoon ahead; what does he want to do?

Finn looks at Anna’s chart, and she asks him, what is it? He says, a virus he’s never seen North America. She wonders how she got it, but he doesn’t know. She asks if he thinks someone gave it to her intentionally, but he wonders, what would be the point? She asks if he doesn’t know what caused it at all, and he admits he doesn’t.

Elizabeth can’t believe how happy Aiden is. Franco says she should have seen him baking. He was so excited and chatty; full of tips and facts. He’s ready for his own cooking show. Elizabeth doesn’t know how she missed this. Franco thinks Aiden was keeping to himself. He thinks they need to stop worrying about Aiden fitting in, and let Aiden be Aiden. Elizabeth tells him that’s kind of what his teacher said too. Cameron asks Aiden the tablet password. Aiden tells him it’s donut, but the O is a zero and D is capitalized. Cameron logs on, but says he changed his mind. It’s a stupid game. Aiden shows him a cookbook, and Cameron asks about making macaroons. Aiden says it’s a lot of steps. Cameron seems distracted.

Chase meets Willow outside of Charlie’s. He tells her he’s sorry he’s late, but she says she finished her meeting; he’s right on time. From inside, Michael sees them through the window.

Julian sits with Kim, and the sip hot chocolate. He asks if it’s better than a cortado, but she’s not sure. She thinks maybe this is the secret; just staying in the moment, and not thinking about the future.

Josslyn and Oscar go through the journal. She sees he snuck in the dog show, but he’s willing to forego it, if they can take make own pottery class off. Why doesn’t she want to go to the dog show? He definitely wants to do power boating under the stars, and she says she’ll check the dates. He says this one is non-negotiable, pointing to the 16^th. It says be with Joss, and she says, totally non-negotiable. Is he ready to get started? Oscar says, let’s do this.

Tomorrow, Peter tells Lulu if the PCPD won’t talk, find someone who will; Laura declines not-Doc’s request; Ava tells Scotty that he’s not going to see her anymore; and Mike tells Sonny, if he sees Mike coming, walk the other way.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace asks how Benny is. Mitch says, that’s the president, but Charles says, not yet. Candace wants to see the doctor, but Hanna says he’s in surgery; don’t bother that man. Charles introduces himself. He’s sorry for the circumstances. Hanna asks how Candace met him, and he tells her, through a mutual friend. He’s pretty fond of her. Hanna says, is that right? Charles says Candace told him a lot about he; good things. Hanna says she voted for him because she thought he was honest and decent. Now she knows he’s a politician. Candace tells her that she said Hanna was a wonderful grandmother and protected Candace’s son with her own life.

They wait. Candace says Hanna was an amazing grandmother. Her son would be alive if Hanna wasn’t so amazing. Hanna is like, what? She says she’s still Candace’s mother, and will still slap the piss out of her. Candace says Hanna has no respect for class. Hanna says Candace sent that man to her house, and Candace says she has no idea what Hanna is talking about. Hanna asks Charles if he has any idea who he’s sitting next to. He says he thinks he does, and Hanna says he has people do background checks and knows everything there is to know? He says he does, and she says, and he’s still sitting there? He says, yeah. She tells him, it will be an interesting four years. He says they’re open for eight, but Hanna says he’s sitting with Candace. He’ll get four. If he’s lucky, two. Landon thinks it’s a good time to go to the children’s ward. Charles wants to stay with Candace, and Candace asks if there’s anything else Hanna wants to tell him. Hanna says, he’ll find out what there is to know.

Charles says when he was in law school, there was a fascinating case. A mother and daughter were locked in a battle over the father’s ashes. They spent tons of money and hours going at each other, and missed great moments in each other’s lives. After eighteen years, the mother got tired, and gave the daughter the ashes. The daughter put them on a shelf, and cried for days. Not over the ashes. She realized they’d been fighting over something dead and gone; over. She’d wasted the best years of her life; they both did, fighting over the past

Veronica’s doorbell rings. We see the elusive Alice! Veronica asks if she heard the damn door, and she also wants another drink. Whoever is at the door can wait. Alice starts fixing her drink, and Veronica asks if she washed her hands. Alice says she did, but Veronica wants to check. She says Alice’s nails are filthy; go clean them. She’ll get the door. She grumbles the whole way, and gets herself a drink.

RK walks in, and asks what’s wrong with her? She says she’s fine. She wants him to help her get her son. She asks if he saw Jeffrey at the hospital, and he says, it was crawling with secret service; he doesn’t know why. She says he was supposed to get her son. He takes her drink out of her hand, and tells her that he’ll take her ass in a minute. She says she’s not in the mood, and tells him, get out. He says he’s famished, and knows the fridge is full. Veronica says she’s not playing. Alice comes back, and RK asks her to please get him something to eat. He suggests they go to the kitchen together. Veronica says Alice doesn’t wash her hands. He says they’ll take care of that. Veronica says, little boy thinks he’s a man.

Jim tells one of the hotel staff to open the door, but the guy says Mrs. Cryer is already in there. Jim walks in on Kathryn’s threesome and asks if she’s serious. She says, hello, Jim. Jim tells Roderick and Rocky to get their asses out of bed right now. Kathryn says they’re not going anywhere, but Jim says if they don’t get out, he’ll burn the building to the ground with their sorry butts in it. They jet, and Kathryn tells them, same time next week. Jim asks what the hell is the matter with her? She says, him. He tells her that she’s lost her mind, but she says she’s just keeping up. He says they don’t want her, but she doesn’t care; her body wanted them. He says they have a problem, and she says they always do. That’s why she needed a break. She understands why he does this now; it took her mind off of everything. He tells her that Sarah was at their house; his informant. Kathryn says, another one of his whores? She thinks that’s fourteen now. She’s only had five or six, and has a lot of catching up. He says Sarah was wearing a wire, and knows about the bullets. Kathryn says, her word against his, but he says, someone is going to jail. He can guarantee it. Maybe he should let them haul her ass to prison. She says, it might be a welcome relief. She says she doesn’t care. If she goes, they all go. She tells him to figure it out. They wore her out and she loved it. She wasted a lot of time, and should have gotten young boys a long time ago. As Jim walks out, she tells him to send them back.

Roderick tells Rocky that he has a plan. If he plays it right… Rocky says that woman is going to use him. Roderick says, not if he uses her first. Jim comes up behind Roderick, and punches him. He says he needs to talk to him, and tells Rocky to get his scrawny, tattooed ass back there. He tells the other patrons to finish their drinks; they’re just having a conversation. He tells them if they go near his wife again, they won’t have her to worry about. They’ll have him. She barks; he bites. Do they understand? He thinks Roderick is giving attitude, and he doesn’t have Roderick’s undivided attention. He punches Roderick in the balls, and says if he goes near her again, he’ll have no more need of those. Jim has unsavory friends in low places, who would consider it a personal favor to him to cut Roderick. It’s like a vasectomy. They say it doesn’t hurt, but they’re full of sh*t. He tells Roderick to get out of his sight, and tells Rocky, don’t just stand there; get him a drink – and some hand sanitizer, neat.

Justin shows up at the hospital, and sees Jeffrey in the hallway with Madison. He says he’s been calling Jeffrey, and Jeffrey says, apparently he has Madison’s number too. Justin asks where’s he been; out with him? Madison tries to pass Justin, and he grabs at Madison, but Madison shakes him off. Justin says he’s getting sick of this, then asks how Jeffrey is. Jeffrey says, good, and he asks if he’s going to see Jeffrey later. Jeffrey says he’s looking after his dad, and doesn’t want to do this now. He’s busy. Justin starts punching Jeffrey, and they tussle. Justin gets Jeffrey down on the floor, twisting Jeffrey’s arm behind his back. Madison flies out, along with security. Justin threatens the guard. Madison tells the other employees, there’s nothing to see, and asks if Jeffrey is okay. He tells Jeffrey that he needs to get away from that guy; he’s serious. Jeffrey knows, and Madison says he’s not the enemy. He tells Jeffrey that he needs to get checked out.

Candace wonders what’s taking so long. Hanna says, they’re in surgery, and Landon says he’ll see what he can find out. Hanna protests, but Charles says, he can ask the nurse. Hanna says, they won’t tell him anything, and Charles says, they might. Mitch says, he’ll go too, and introduces himself to Landon. Landon says he’s tall, and Mitch says, every damn day, my man. Charles asks if Hanna or Candace want coffee, but it’s just him.

Landon tells the doctor that they’ve come to check on Benny. He recognizes Mitch, who’s like, don’t even. He leads them to Benny’s room. The doctor tells Benny to lie down, but Benny says he’s getting out. He asks who Landon is. Landon suggests he go with the doctor to talk to Hanna. They leave, and Mitch tells Benny that he knows Benny wants to be Superman, but he needs to get better; he was shot. Benny says he was stabbed. He was on the porch, and there was a boy circling around while Benny was messing with his phone. The next thing he knew, the kid was on top of him, talking about his family. Mitch says, not his family. The don’t come on a bike sticking people. Benny asks who did it, but Mitch doesn’t know. Benny asks if he called it off, but he says he can’t find his grandmother. Benny says he’s getting out, and Mitch agrees it’s not a bad idea. His Uncle Vinnie is there, and his family is hanging around. Mitch helps Benny up.

Charles says his team has to check out the kitchen. He thinks it’s overkill, but Derrick says he’s an important man. He congratulates Charles, and Hanna asks what he’s doing with her daughter. Dating her? Candace says they’re just having sex. Charles tells her to show respect to her mother. Candace says Hanna doesn’t know anything about it.

Landon comes back with the doctor, who wants to talk to them. He tells Charles this would be a good time to see the kids. Candace stays in the waiting room. Derrick asks if Hanna is okay. She says she’s fine, tells Candace that she’s going to end up in jail. Candace says she just came to see her brother; be quiet. The doctor says, there’s a problem. Benny is out of surgery, but he won’t stay. Benny and Mitch join them. Hanna says he was shot, but Benny says, stabbed. He just wants to go home. If he can’t get a ride, he’ll take the bus. The doctor says he can’t keep Benny. Mitch says maybe he should stay. The doctor says his wound should be watched, and Benny is like, yeah, yeah, and walks out. Everyone follows.

Madison cleans up Jeffrey’s face. He doesn’t think Jeffrey’s jaw is broken. He asks why Jeffrey stays, and Jeffrey says Justin won’t leave him alone. Madison suggests a restraining order. Jeffrey asks if Madison thinks it’s that serious, and I question Jeffrey’s intelligence. Madison says Jeffrey studied this; doesn’t he see it? Jeffrey he thinks he can control Justin, but Madison thought that too. He had a guy who was crazy like that. Jeffrey asks what happened, and Madison says he moved away, and never saw him again. Jeffrey says he can’t move away, and Madison says, so get a restraining order. Jeffrey says Justin has lost a lot – his wife, his family. Madison asks what that means. Jeffrey said it himself, Justin has nothing to lose. Jeffrey says he needs to see his dad.

Wyatt is surprised to find Sarah still in the kitchen. She asks if he’s heard from Jim; he said he was calling someone. Wyatt says he’s not picking up. She needs to talk to him, and Wyatt offers to call again, but he needs something from her. He wants her to pick up a package. She asks what kind, and the guard says one that will get her arrested. She says she can’t do that. She’s not waiting any longer. Wyatt swears Jim will be there in ten minutes.

Jeffrey says David looks better; he’s dressed. David explains about the vest he’s wearing, and says, it’s painful at times, but he hopes he’s going home today. He wonders if Jeffrey found what he asked for, and Jeffrey says, no. Mom was at the house. David asks what happened, and Jeffrey says, she fell off the balcony. David asks if he pushed her, and Jeffrey says he wanted to. She was taunting him, but it gets worse. She’s all right. She’s fine; she won’t die. David says she’s still his mother, and it’s inappropriate. Jeffrey says, she’s inappropriate. There’s something else, and David says, of course there is. Jeffrey tells him that Erica was working with Candace and Veronica. He’s sorry to be the one to tell him. He saw a text on Erica’s phone from Candace, and when he saw her picture, he remembered her from Candace’s house. David says, so Erica was playing him. Jeffrey is sorry. David says, it’s okay, but Jeffrey says, it’s not. David says Jeffrey’s mother was in on setting him up? Jeffrey thinks so, but David says, they don’t get along. Jeffrey thinks they teamed up, but can’t be sure. He asks if Jeffrey’s on good speaking terms with Candace, and Jeffrey says, somewhat. David tells him to call now and ask her. He needs to be certain. Jeffrey calls, but gets voicemail. He doesn’t leave a message. Davis tells him to see what he can find out. He wants to go home; he’s not staying another day. He tells Jeffrey to call his doctor. Jeffrey calls Madison in. David says he wants to go home now, but Madison says his wounds need professional care. David says Madison is a nurse; he can tend to David’s burns at home. He knows the hospital director. Jeffrey will be there, so Madison can see him more often. Madison tells Jeffrey that his parents are stubborn. Jeffrey says, as hell, and Madison says, he shouldn’t leave. Jeffrey says, you tell him.

Wyatt lies down on his bed, and the guard goes into the hallway. Wyatt pulls something out from under his pillow, and slips out to the balcony. Hadn’t Jim posted guards out there? What happened to them? Wyatt drops down a line of sheets he’s tied together. I laugh because it’s so cliché. He climbs down and runs.

In the parking garage, Madison calls Jeffrey, and says he’s on his way. His dad has pull. He tells Jeffrey that he’s in the parking lot, and Jeffrey says, that’s not good. Madison gets to his car, which has bullet holes in it, and is messed up in general. Madison says, damn; his car. It’s destroyed. Jeffrey says, Justin. Madison says he’ll call Jeffrey back. He has to hang up to call security. Jeffrey doesn’t want him to hang up – for the record, neither do I – and tells him to walk back first.

Madison doesn’t listen, hangs up, and gets whacked with a tire iron. He lies in the parking lot, unconscious.

Next time, Jeffrey finds Erica’s book, Sarah tells Jim she’ll do anything to not go to jail – and she means anything, Veronica tells RK to get out and he says it’s not going to happen, Wyatt disappears, Candace asks Landon if she’s a beard, and David tells Veronica that he’s going to kill her. Wow. That’s a lot.

Below Deck

Everyone stumbles out the morning after. Rhylee asks if Tyler remembers making out with a chick. He doesn’t, but says he came back home to her. They make out.

In his interview, Ashton says it’s never fun picking up the pieces the morning after. You don’t know what you did or said. He has some investigating to do. Laura asks if he recalls how drunk he was. He thinks she was mad at him, but she says she wasn’t. Kate irons, saying, this is her sad, pathetic life. Ross asks how Rhylee’s night was, and she says she went to bed like they did. The crew swabs the deck. In Ross’s interview, he says since Tyler joined the boat, Rhylee’s mood has improved. He’s a great addition to the team.

Kate says Laura has fallen in line since Captain Lee talked to her. Laura tells Kate about Ashton being with another girl at the bar, and how she told him that she wasn’t coming home to cuddle with him. Kate says she’s not his backup lady. Ross callas Ashton a slut. Laura isn’t pursuing the situation, but Kate has the feeling he’ll come to Laura.

Ross talks to Ashton about his son. He says his baby mama is a great mother; she always puts their son first. He’s embarrassed about how he was during their time together. He was trying to be cool. She’s a part of his life, and his best friend. He hopes they can eventually work something out. Ashton thinks it takes strong character to move ahead and improve.

Charley Walters is a return guest, but he wasn’t the primary last time. Kate says he had a primary personality. They were stuck at the dock because of the weather. On his preference sheet, Charley indicates that he’s looking forward to pushing off the dock. Captain Lee laughs. Charley wants to make unforgettable memories with his friends. They want to have an all gold party, and a wig party. They train for fitness events, so they want healthy foods. The captain says, no sugar is going to be a tough one.

Rhylee and Laura watch the sunset. Rhylee tells Laura that she and Tyler did it five times. She elaborates, and I don’t know if Laura feels it’s TMI, but I definitely do. In her interview, Rhylee says her plan is to keep getting laid. She tells Laura that they fit together quite nicely.

The crew gets some sleep. In the morning, provisions come in. Laura and Josiah make beds. She can tell by the photos the guests are going to expect them to be all, yas queen. In his interview, Josiah talks about being picked on when he was younger. The guests are going to be eight gay guys who look like the ones who used to bully him, and he’s not looking forward to the charter.

Tyler likes Rhylee. They flirt all day, have sex, and he can kiss other girls, but she still doesn’t hate him. He’s marrying her. In Kate’s interview, she says Laura told her the gossip. She has to stake her claim. Ashton tells Adrian that he doesn’t know how to read Laura. Adrian says, off the bat, she wanted to be with Ashton, but didn’t want to be another number. In his interview, Adrian says he knows what Laura likes, and if this is a competition, bring it on. He won’t get pissed because it would be a show of weakness. Adrian says at the club, he saw Ashton with a hundred other women.

The crew gets in their whites. Ashton puts on cologne. The champagne is poured. The guests arrive. Kate presents flower crowns. Captain Lee says they’ll get off the dock asap. Kate gives the tour, and the luggage is loaded. Charley says the master bathroom is the nicest yacht bathroom he’s ever seen. Kate takes drink orders; eight tequila shots. Bleh. The guests go up to the bar. Josiah plays bartender, and they toast to him. He just wants out of there.

The guests cheer when the boat starts to move. We see some fabulous scenery, and Rhylee says, when you’re working, sometimes you forget you’re in the most romantic place on earth. Josiah tells Kate about being bullied for wearing a tank top, and being called fat. Everyone always looked better then he did, and he’s feeling insecure right now. Ashton thinks they should keep the guests busy. Charley tells the others that he thinks Josiah is gay, but they’re not sure. Really? Charley says he has good ‘dar. Yeah, me too, but this one was a no ‘dar-er.

The wind picks up, and the captain tells everyone to hang on. The crew brings some stuff inside. Suddenly, furniture starts to slide, pans fall out of cupboards, and wine bottles are rolling around. Josiah says the boat went sideways. Wine is everywhere, and it’s a sh*t show. Captain Lee says, it’s going to be a rough ride. He wants things battened down more. Kate asks how long before they can serve lunch, and he tells her twenty minutes. She asks the guests if she can get them anything, and one of them sarcastically says, lunch. Har-har-hardy-har-har. In lieu of that, she gets them tequila shots.

Laura tells the guys to fetch their boxers from the laundry room. There’s a bunch, and she doesn’t know what belongs to whom. The guests pronounce Tahiti more gorgeous than Hawaii. The captain asks the deckhands for four shots, referring to the boat, and I misunderstand, thinking, wow. Even he’s drinking now?  They drop anchor, and the water toys are produced. Adrian says they’re all about being fit, and requested a light lunch. With the first meal, he likes to stick with the preference sheet. If it’s exactly what they’ve asked for, and they don’t like it, he knows they have a problem.

Kate wants to like them. Lunch is served. Adrian presents baby lobster and local fresh water shrimp, along with curried zucchini. I’m dying. Charley says it’s awesome and incredible. Kate tells Josiah, my name’s Kate, and I hate my life right now. One of the guests asks when they’re getting the main course, and Kate asks if they’re still hungry. They’re thinking pizza and mozzarella sticks, which doesn’t sound all that healthy, or light, to me. They make a lot of hand gestures, and in her interview, Kate says she doesn’t need a puppet show. Ask like an adult. She tells Adrian, and he says, light lunch. He gets out a slab of beef, and Kate tells them that Adrian is cooking up steak. They want to jump in the water in the meantime, and Kate says she’ll call them back when the food is ready. They jump off the boat and onto floaties. Kate tells Adrian not to feel rushed.

The guests come back, demanding steak. One whines that he thought they were eating at 2:30 it’s 3:30, apparently forgetting that they already ate baby lobster and shrimp. And zucchini. He says the chef underestimated their appetites. A guest comes to the galley, and says they’re starving. In Kate’s interview, she says, you’re not funny; you’re not charming. There are too many d*cks on one boat. Lunch is served one more time. A guest grips that their steak is more medium than rare. In her interview, Kate says, these guests are just a-holes. Adrian says the steak was perfectly cooked. Give him an effing break. It’s going to be a long two days. Kate brings back another steak. In her interview, she says, go bother the deckhands.

The guests see the slide and trampoline, and run upstairs. They play some more on the toys. In his interview, Josiah says, they came on the boat just to be difficult, and they’re doing a good job of it. He asks if Ashton is going out with those twats. Ashton asks why he’s so stressed, and Josiah says they’re being annoying. Laura offers go down. In Laura’s interview, she says since she told Kate to check herself, she has been. She’s been getting to know Laura now. Aston tells Ross that Rhylee hasn’t been this happy all season, and Ross tells him about Tyler, who’s making a Skippy peanut butter sandwich. Rhylee asks Adrian if he needs anything, and he says, just a life.

Kate announces the gold party will be tonight. Adrian is re-strategizing. He’s making double quantities until they can’t handle it anymore. Charley has brought along a gold Speedo, and they want Josiah to ear it tonight. Josiah says he’s too fat. Ashton was a stripper. He’s used to skimpy outfits. He doesn’t want be anyone’s clown. Can’t say I blame him. Laura says he has a cute bum. He tries on the Speedo, and thinks it’s small.

Dinner is delayed because two guys are passed out. Adrian says, cracking guests. He doesn’t know how much more he can take. Josiah wears the Speedo, along with the matching shirt, under his uniform. Guest Billy is unaccounted for, and Laura finds him passed out on the toilet. She calls Josiah, who cracks up. Adrian tells Ashton the guests have been drinking since they got there. Josiah tells Kate about Billy, and Kate joins them. She doesn’t want him to hit his head. They have to take him to bed. In her interview, Kate says there’s no good answer for what she’s seeing.

Billy makes a noise, startling everyone. Josiah suggests helping him to bed, and he says he was just using the bathroom. He’s fine. The guests gather for dinner, one wearing a tutu. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. All the décor is gold. Billy emerges, and at 10 pm, Adrian is plating the first course; a ginger carrot stew, with Alaskan king crab in a golden chariot. I don’t know what the hell a golden chariot is, but I want to eat one. Charley says the food is A+. Josiah says he’s never worn anything like this; it’s crushingly tight. His voice is getting higher by the second. Rhylee asks why Tyler moved to his own bunk, and he says they’re working. He’s trying to be professional.

Just thinking about tomorrow, Kate is exhausted. Charley bitches that the next course is slow in coming. Adrian comes with it. Charley says they’ve been waiting a while; tell them all about it. In his interview, Adrian says he just wants to go to bed. Adrian tells them it’s lobster and sweet corn gnocchi, but adds several more adjectives. Charley says it’s good. One of the guests says they were scared for a second. Of what? Charley? The gnocchi?

Ashton finds Laura on deck. He tells her that he feels foolish about how he acted, and apologizes. He likes her, and wonders if they can pick up where they were before he was a bit of a hooligan. She thinks he’s super cool, honest, and genuine, so it’s not an issue. He says they’re making progress. In Laura’s interview, she thinks it says a lot about Ashton to apologize. She wants to see how things go, and have them organically happen.

Kate tells Adrian the guests loved the food. The captain breezes through, and asks Josiah, what’s up, Goldfinger? Adrian, who’s made a complicated-sounding dessert, asks the captain if he’d like some white chocolate grass. The captain takes a pass. The guests find the dessert gross; there’s too much sugar. Charley admits it’s his fault, and says there’s no taste. In her interview, Kate says she doesn’t think her pulling out Prince Harry in a twink costume would make them happy. Josiah volunteers to bring out shots in the gold lame outfit. Kate tells the guests she has a mini surprise. Josiah makes up some shots that involve Chambord, and takes off his uniform. Kate says, holy sh*t, and asks, is it real? Damn! She says, of course he’s gay. She can’t not look. The guests get in the hot tub. Laura tells Adrian that her sixth sense told her that Josiah had a big d*ck.

Josiah feels extremely exposed. The guests all have good bodies. They’re comfortable and flirty, while he’s an introvert and uncomfortable. Kate tells him, go; they’ll love it. They applaud when they see Josiah. He tells them about a shot in England called the Jammy Dodger. Rhylee takes a picture of everyone. Josiah thinks it was a huge step out of his comfort zone. He needs to stop caring so much what people think, and enjoy the moment. Everyone turns in.

Tyler kisses Rhylee, and they end up in the same bunk. The next morning, anchor is locked, and the yacht is off. A chai latte on ice sounds really good, but it is like 3 degrees where I am right now. Kate begs the Tahitian gods not to make the guests as hideous as last night. The table is laden with flowers.

Kate thanks Laura. In her interview, Kate says she appreciates that it clicked in Laura’s brain that she’s just here to help. It’s all they ever wanted, and finally taking initiative. Laura tells Rhylee that Adrian’s general comments all day are a huge turn-off. We see clips of him making suggestive remarks to her. She says she’s trying be chill and laugh it off, but it’s awkward. Rhylee says Adrian is crazy as **** (not sure what the word was). Charley wears bunny ears to breakfast. Kate loves it when crew members have sex with each other. It makes them cheerful. A guest asks for a vodka tonic, and it’s already in Kate’s hand. She’s my kind of bartender. Laura asks Aston for cigarette, and he says it will cost her. In Ashton’s interview, he says they’re in the beginning stages, and he’s going to steal as many kisses as he can. Laura kisses him.

It’s jet ski time. Ross goes over the parameters, telling them where they can go, and something about a kill cord. It looks like fun. Uh-oh. Two guests fall off a jet ski, and it’s still in motion. The jet ski is going crazy. Captain Lee says it’s a 900-pound vehicle with no driver or brakes. WTF is going on? This is not funny. 

Next time, a birthday guest, Adrian won’t leave Laura alone, Tyler doesn’t want to be part of Rhylee’s life, a guest gets angry when woken up on deck, and Kate didn’t get into yachting to watch spoiled princesses sleep.

🌇 Night Night…

It’s time for bye-byes.