What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Curtis and Portia are all lovey-dovey in the elevator when the door opens, and Marshall clears his throat. He says, not to ruin the moment or anything… and Curtis says, the moment is here. Marshall asks if he got his genetic testing results, and Portia says, he did. Marshall says, they’ll see if he passed on the genetic marker for schizophrenia to Curtis, and any generations to follow. Jordan sees them from down the hall.

At a 12-step meeting, Finn says he hadn’t been to a meeting in two months. This is now his second in 24 hours. He guesses he’s making up for lost time. Maybe he’s here because he’s afraid of using. Maybe he’s just avoiding his life right now. Maybe a little of both.

Elizabeth is going through photographs, when Jeff leaves a message asking to talk. She can set the parameters; any time, anywhere she wants. Just give him a chance. It’s all he asks. There’s a knock at the door, and Elizabeth opens it to Carly. She says, it’s not a good time, and starts to close it, but Carly stops the door, says, Elizabeth needs to make time, and barges in.

There’s a knock at Josslyn’s dorm room door, and Kylie, Josslyn’s RA, says, they need to talk. Dex rolls out of bed, and grabs his clothes. Kylie says she’s coming in, when Josslyn shows up.

Esme wakes up, and says, no! seeing the windows have been boarded over. Temp Nikolas (see below) comes in, and says, he doesn’t like it either. It’s a shame to spoil the view, but security was more important. This room needs something strong enough to resist being pried off, and thick enough to muffle the screams. This is kind of amusing, since the boards don’t even meet, and are kind of haphazardly nailed across.

Trina asks if Spencer is okay, and he says he’s run out of hair products. She really shouldn’t be here. She says, neither should he, but here they are. She just hopes she hasn’t come too late. He says, too late for what?

Carly says, Jordan just left her house an hour ago, and told her Elizabeth was found on the docks after a run-in with Esme. What the hell happened? Elizabeth says she was going to Spoon Island to see Nikolas, and saw Esme. She was calling 9-1-1, when Esme tried to grab her phone. The next thing Elizabeth knew, she was lying on the ground, and Esme was gone. Carly asks if Cam knows, and Elizabeth says, yes. Does Josslyn? Carly says she doesn’t know. She’s on her way to Josslyn’s place next.

Josslyn asks what Kylie is doing, as Dex struggles to put on his pants. She asks if someone gave Kylie permission to go into her room, and Kylie says, someone heard Josslyn complain about bedbugs. She needs to know if they need pest control. Josslyn says, that’s not necessary. She doesn’t have bedbugs. All she said was that she’d heard a rumor. Kylie closes the door, and says she’s glad to avoid a whole procedure, and Josslyn says, it’s her lucky day. Kylie says, carry on, and leaves, when Adam comes by, and asks, what happened with the bedbugs? Josslyn says, nothing because she doesn’t have bedbugs. She can’t believe Adam ratted her out to the RA. Kylie almost came in here when she was gone. He says, it’s not a big deal. Is she afraid Kylie would find her stash? Josslyn says she doesn’t have a stash, and he asks what she’s hiding. She says she’s not hiding anything. There’s thump from her room, and Adam quips, she was saying?

Portia suggests they go to her office, where they can go over the genetic testing results in private. Jordan joins them, and says she was hoping she could speak to Portia for second, but Portia says, they’re actually in the middle of something right now. Jordan says she’ll keep it  brief, and Marshall says, this day’s been a long time coming. They can afford to wait a few more minutes. Curtis says he’s fine. He has to pick up a report from the counselor’s office. Jordan says, Portia’s office? and Portia says she was on her way anyway.

Esme futilely pounds at the boards, and Nikolas thanks Demetrius for a job done well and discreetly. Seriously? Dude is no handyman. Demetrius leaves, and Esme says, Nikolas can’t do this to her. He says, make sure she’s safe and well cared for? Including a healthy breakfast to start her day. She says, he doesn’t get extra points for feeding his captives, and he says he likes to do what’s fair. Her utensils are all plastic and recyclable. Sadly, she’s lost silverware privileges. She says she won’t miss them for long. Once Elizabeth tells the police that he was with them… He says, if Elizabeth had said anything about him, the Police Commissioner herself would have sought him out for questioning hours ago. And even if she did, no one is going to look for Esme here. This is her home now. If she attempts to escape again, he’ll have her relocated to his family’s island in Greece. She looks like she could use a vacation. She says, he’s despicable, and he tells her to count her blessings. The accommodations are much nicer here than in Pentenville, but she’d make a better fit at D’Archam. She says she’s not going to prison, but he will. This will blow up in his face. He says, doubtful, but if it does, there’s no risk he won’t take to protect his family. She says, she’s his family too, and he says, for now, and leaves. She flings the tray of food to the floor.

Spencer says he’s sorry he can’t offer Trina any refreshments, but she says she’s here for the company anyway. He says, such as it is. Prison has stunted his communication skills. In here, the less said, the better. She says, sounds lonely, and he says, better off lonely than making enemies, or the wrong kind of friends. She says, the right kind are waiting for him when he gets home, her included, and he tells her that she said they were toxic. She says, that’s because she didn’t have all the facts, because he was keeping them from her. He says, and he asked Cam to keep them from her, but she says she’s here to talk about him… and her, to see if there’s something left to salvage. And if he even wants to.

Demetrius tells Nikolas that he has a visitor, but Nikolas says he told Demetrius, no visitors. Ava comes out of the living room, and says she was informing Demetrius, the way things are going, she might just get him in the divorce. Nikolas tells Demetrius to keep an eye on the matter upstairs, and Demetrius leaves. Ava says, the north tower? and Nikolas says, that’s why he prefers they meet somewhere else. She says, this is the only place she can guarantee privacy, and this particular matter cannot wait. He asks what that might be, and she says, his boarder.

As they put away the chairs, Alexis says, if it makes Finn feel any better, she hasn’t been to a meeting in two months either. She’s been very busy. She’s been bogged down with that paper. She knows she should be grateful. It’s a job, after she lost the one that she loved, and he says, you’ve got to celebrate these small victories. She agrees, and he says, everyone has an opinion. All his dad talks about is her, The Invader, and her… She says, and me, and The Invader, and your dad; anything except talking about what it is he was trying to avoid at the meeting. What was that?

Carly tells Elizabeth, Esme is crazy. She just wants this whole thing to be over with. The sooner they find Esme, the sooner they can put this whole mess behind them. Elizabeth asks if Carly thinks Esme is the one attacking people with a hook, and Carly says, doesn’t she? Elizabeth says she doesn’t take anything for granted these days, and Carly asks if she’s okay. She tells Carly, she never said she was okay.

Nikolas says, his boarder? and Ava says, Uncle Nosy? Slick Vic? Nikolas says, Victor isn’t his boarder; not yet anyway. She says, he hasn’t moved in yet. Lucky for Nikolas. Ava says she saw his uncle last night, and he dropped the most unsettling piece of gossip in her lap. He says, about what? and she says, Esme Prince is alive and well and roaming around Port Charles. Apparently Elizabeth had a run-in with her on the docks, and called the PCPD. Is he listening to her? The cops are after Esme, so they have to find her first.

Spencer asks if there’s a chance to fix things between them, and Trina says, yes. He asks, why now? and she says, because it was impossible before. He wasn’t straight with her. How much can one person truly mean to another if you can’t even be honest? He says, she should ask his father, but she says she’s asking him. At her party, the night before he came here, there was a letter for her, but he refused to hand it over. He asks why she’s rehashing this, and she says, because she needs to hear it from him. What was he trying to tell her that night? He says, that he lied to her face for months, that he believed in her.

Curtis and Marshall sit on a bench, and Marshall says, if Curtis’s ex-wife and his fiancé pretending to get along is the worst that comes of it, count himself lucky. Curtis says, good point. Back to Marshall. Marshall asks what he did, and Curtis says, he offered to leave. He can’t just head for the door every time things get hairy. Marshall says he did that for Curtis’s comfort. He guesses he thought Curtis wanted his space. Curtis says he woudn’t want do this without Marshall, and Marshall says, come what may? Curtis says, come what may, and Marshall says, so are they going to do this? Curtis says he’s ready when Marshall is.

As they walk into her office, Portia says, what is it now? and Jordan says  she’s picking up on some tension here. Portia says, this is resentment, and Jordan says she doesn’t know what she did to deserve that. Portia says, then she’s a lousy detective, or just plain disingenuous. Either way, Jordan is sticking her nose into Portia’s business – again. Her family’s private business. Curtis’s genetic counseling, and what may or may not come of it has nothing to do with Jordan, his ex-wife. Jordan says she’s here to inform Portia that Esme was spotted in Port Charles, and Portia asks, where? Jordan says, Pier 55. There was an altercation last night between Esme and Elizabeth Baldwin. Portia asks if Elizabeth is okay, and Jordan says, she’s fine. She’s notified Trina, but wanted to loop Portia in as well. Portia thanks her, and says, but they both know Jordan could have said all this in front of Curtis. Jordan says she intends to keep her interest in Portia’s family professional, not personal. She has no idea what Portia chooses to tell or not tell Curtis, but it’s clear Portia still hasn’t told him that Trina may be his daughter. Portia says, so someone else ought to?

Finn says, things have been really messy, and Alexis says she’s here and ready to listen, but he shakes his head. She says, what if he told her, and left out the details? and he says he’s not ready, but when he is… She says, he’ll call her, he’ll find her, and if he can’t find her, he’ll find somebody else. Because they have to talk about it. He knows what happens when they hold back. He says he does. He found out something… about Reiko. She was having an affair. Alexis says she’s sorry to hear that, and asks how he found out, but he says, it doesn’t matter. All these things he thought about his marriage and himself, he doesn’t know what to do with any of them. She says he doesn’t have to know that right now. Take some time to think about it, and she’s sure he’ll figure it out. In the meantime, has he talked about this with Elizabeth?

Elizabeth thanks Carly for stopping by, and says, unless there’s something else, she was in the middle of something. Carly says, scrapbooking? but Elizabeth says, decluttering. Carly says, when she sometimes gets the urge to declutter, she starts with the things least personal, and Elizabeth says, sounds like a good system for Carly. Carly sits next to her on the couch, and says, it looks pretty personal. These are Elizabeth’s family photos. Elizabeth says, it’s really none of Carly’s business, and Carly picks up a photo, asking if these are Elizabeth’s parents. Elizabeth takes the photo, and says, parents, yes. Family? Not even close. She throws it back on the pile.

Adam asks what Josslyn has in there. Or is it who? She asks if she can trust him, and he says he swears. She says she has a cat. It was a stray, that she saw some frat guys harassing, so she scooped it up, and brought it back. She doesn’t want to get caught before she finds it a new home. He says, she’s a good person, and she says, so is he, if he doesn’t say anything. He says, her secret is safe. Is there any chance she could put in a good word for him with Trina? She tells him, Trina is seeing someone, but if that changes, she’ll send Trina his way. He thanks her, and says, see? Good person. He leaves, and she goes into her room, finding Dex on the floor, unconscious. She asks if he’s with her, and tells him, wake up.

Esme’s food is everywhere, and Demetrius comes in. He says, he’ll clean this up, and get her an early lunch.

Spencer says, when he saw Trina at the PCPD, he knew she was innocent. He knew Esme set her up; there could be no doubt. She asks if he knows how badly she needed to hear that, but he says he thought it was more important for him to stick close to Esme, so he could find something that would prove her innocence. She says, that explains why he played Esme, but not why he played her, and he says he wasn’t playing her. She says he was keeping her in the dark, and he says, she’s honest, and when you’re going up against a liar like Esme… She says, he didn’t think she could pull it off, but he says he wasn’t going to risk Esme finding out. Deceiving Trina was the best thing for her. She says, he sounds like Curtis. He also does what he thinks is best for her. Spencer says he has a lot to apologize for, but he’s not going to apologize for protecting her. She says she doesn’t fault his motives; his intentions are golden. But she would have felt more protected with him at her side. Maybe he’s right. Who knows how things would have turned out if he’d told her how he felt? But let her tell him one thing. It hurt that he thought so little of her when she thought so much of him.

Portia asks if that someone else is Jordan, when there’s a knock at the door. Portia says, come in, and Curtis and Marshall walk in. Curtis says he sees they’re still at it, but Jordan says, they’re done… for the moment. She leaves, and Portia says, Jordan gave her a heads up about something. It turns out Esme is back in town. Curtis says, let’s forget about this and go get Trina, but Portia says, Jordan already warned Trina, and Trina knows to be vigilant. She’s already gone over it with her, but Trina wouldn’t want them to hold up this news any longer; not on her account. She asks if that’s the report in Curtis’s hands, and he says, it is. He got a message that the genetic counselor is has been delayed, but he can’t wait any longer. Marshall says, Portia knows her stuff. Can’t she tell them what it says? She says, it’s up to Curtis, and Curtis hands her the envelope, saying, please. She opens it, and Curtis says, let’s hear it. Marshall asks, what are the chances Curtis has for developing schizophrenia like he has? She looks at the report, and Curtis asks if it’s bad news. She says, there are ten genes tied directly to schizophrenia. Ten genes that are ultra-rare, disabling variants that promote the development of the disease. Curtis asks how many he has, and she says, none. Marshall says, none as in… She says, as in zero. As in Curtis is in the clear.

Alexis says, Elizabeth can help Finn sort out his feelings about Reiko. Just talk to her. Finn says, that might not be real productive at this stage, and she asks, why not? He says, remember the messiness he mentioned? and she asks who he thinks he’s talking to. She’s the queen of messy. Don’t let this thing with Reiko put a wedge between him and Elizabeth. Talk to her before the silence does the talking for both of them.

Carly says she never met Elizabeth’s parents, and Elizabeth says, they might as well be strangers. She hasn’t spoken to them in 25 years. Carly says, she hasn’t spoken to her parents in 25 years? and Elizabeth says, not until two days ago, and that conversation will hold her over for another 50. She puts the pile she’s made in the fireplace, and Carly asks if she’s really going to burn all this stuff. Elizabeth says, that’s why she put it in the fireplace, and takes the matches from the mantel. Carly tells her, hold on. She has no photos of her and Bobbie from when she was a kid, and so wishes she did. She knows all of this feels more like a burden than blessing right now, but one day she might change her mind and regret burning all of it.

Spencer says he remember the look on Trina’s face when he asked her how she could make that video of Joss and Cam. He saw how hurt she was, and he hated himself. Almost as much as he hated pretending he still cared about Esme. He’s not saying he suffered; not the way she did. She says, he didn’t have to go down that road. Look where it got him; in here. If he thinks it’s hell wondering what might happen to her, it’s just as bad seeing what’s happening to him. He says, honestly, he didn’t know she cared, and she says, give her a break. He knew. She was clear how she felt about him. Can he say the same? If he ever returned her feelings, he never said so. He didn’t even try, did he?

Nikolas says, Esme hasn’t pulled the trigger on them because she knows her accusation won’t be believed, but Ava says, maybe she’s biding her time. Waiting for the opportune moment to do maximum damage. He says he doesn’t think that’s the case, but she says she doesn’t think he’s giving Esme enough credit. The longer she’s out there, the more time she has to figure out a way to hurt them the most. And one way or another, she’ll do that, unless they hurt her first.

Esme says, Demetrius seems like a good person. He seems like he cares. She doesn’t mean for her of course (🍷); she means for Nikolas. Doesn’t he see that Nikolas isn’t well? He has her locked up against her will. If he were in his right mind, he’d never be doing this. Please, for Nikolas’s sake, call the police before this gets any worse for him.

Spencer says, maybe he’s just not good at talking about that kind of stuff, but Trina says, please. If he couldn’t bring himself to tell, maybe he could have put it on paper… in a letter. He says, the letter is long gone, but she says, she’s not. She’s here. He says, this would have been so much easier over the phone. He tried calling her the other night, but she didn’t pick up. She says she didn’t hear the phone ring, and he says, good; he thought she was ignoring him. She says she was in a hotel room, fighting to fall asleep. She’d just spent a long day at a comic book convention in New York. He says, since when is she interested in X-Men? and she says she’s not. Rory is.

Curtis says, yes! He knew everything would be all right. He kisses Portia, and hugs Marshall, who says, well, he didn’t. He asks Portia if this means Curtis has no susceptibility, and she says, no more susceptibility than average. Nothing inherited from Marshall. It’s actually strange. The odds of Curtis dodging some of the relevant genes are good enough, but all of them? The chances of something like that happening are very slim. Marshall says, his son must be very, very lucky.

Josslyn tries to wake Dex, and tells him, he can’t stay here. He needs to get up off the floor. He says he’s fine, but she says, he’s not, feeling his forehead. She says, he’s burning up. Come on, soldier, get up. She tells him to lean on her, and brings him over to the bed. She says she needs to get him to urgent care, but he just wants to get to the bed. He falls into it, and says he’ll be fine. He just needs to hydrate. She says, he needs antibiotics. And if he won’t go get some, she’s going to need to bring some to him.

Jordan sees Finn, and calls to him. He asks what he can do for her, and she says she was looking for Elizabeth to follow up on last night. Does he know if she checked herself out? He says he wasn’t aware she checked herself in. What happened, and why does Jordan need to follow up with her? Jordan says, if he sees Elizabeth, please let Elizabeth know she’d like to speak with her, and walks off.

Elizabeth tells Carly, good point. She’ll keep that in mind. Carly says, but she’s still going to burn it all, right? Elizabeth asks if there’s anything else, because if Carly doesn’t mind, she’d like to get back to doing what she was doing. Carly says she knows they’re not really friends, but they’ve known each other a long time, and she thinks they know each other pretty well. She’s never seen Elizabeth like this. Elizabeth says, it’s new to her too. She’s reevaluating. Carly says, reevaluating what? and Elizabeth says, relationships. Carly says, with her parents? and Elizabeth says, anyone she hasn’t given birth to. Carly says, if Elizabeth needs to talk and no one’s around… but Elizabeth says, it won’t come to that, but thanks. She appreciates the offer. Carly leaves, but watches through the window as Elizabeth lights a match. She looks at the photo of Jeff and Carolyn that she swiped from the pile.

Dex asks how Josslyn is going to get antibiotics, and she says, let her deal with that. Do not move from this bed. He says he owes her, and she says, big time, and she plans to collect. She leaves, and Carly calls her name, marching down the hall toward her.

Alexis sees Jordan, and says she’s glad she ran into her. Her office has been having a bit of a problem scheduling the interview Jordan promised; an exclusive in exchange for her not printing the letter from the killer. Jordan says she’ll speak to her assistant, and they’ll work something out. Alexis thanks her, and Jordan moves on. Alexis calls Gregory, and says she’s beginning to think Jordan is giving them the runaround. This might be time to activate that insurance policy.

Curtis asks if it isn’t a good thing that he doesn’t have those genes, and Portia says, it is; it’s just highly anomalous. She asks if Marshall has had any kind of genetic screening, but he says, not that he knows of, but he was diagnosed a long time ago. Portia says, the ten genes in this test were discovered a few years ago, and Curtis asks if it matters. Portia says, not at all; this is great. It’s wonderful news and worth celebrating. She says she has to take care of something real quick. Can they give her one moment? Curtis tells her to do what she’s gotta do, and she leaves. Marshall says he’d better take off too, and Curtis says, so soon. What’s wrong? Marshall tears up, and says he’s just so happy. He was so scared for Curtis; scared of what he might have left with him. He’s going to go. Curtis doesn’t need to see him like this. Curtis says, remember the whole reason Marshall stuck around here. He was here through the bad times, so he’s got to stick around for the good. With all due respect, he insists. Marshall says, yeah, and they hug.

Portia tells Jordan that they got the results back from the genetic screening, and Curtis is in no danger of developing schizophrenia. Jordan says, that is a relief, and thanks Portia for telling her, but says, that still leaves an unanswered question. Is Trina Taggert’s daughter or Curtis’s?  

Spencer asks if Trina and Rory had fun in New York, but she says, they’re not talking about her and Rory. He says, they might as well. Officer Cabrera is a good guy, better than most. He’s glad; she deserves a good guy. He gets up, and says, they’re done, but she says, they’re not. The guard says, time’s up, but she says, one more minute. He can at least do that for her. The guard says, Spencer already had one visitor today, and Trina says, anybody special? Spencer says, his grandmother. She told him that Esme was spotted back in Port Charles. Trina says she knows, and he tells her, please be careful. She says, wait. She has something to tell him. She’s grateful for what he did for her, even if it was the wrong thing. She starts to cry, and says she knows what he meant by it. He says, goodbye, Trina, and leaves.

Ava says, if Nikolas will excuse her, and picks up her jacket. He says, they should continue this conversation later. Dinner at the MetroCourt? She tells him that she has nothing more to say to him. Not until he comes up with a plan to make sure Esme doesn’t open her mouth. He follows her to the door, and says he promises to never let Esme hurt her or anyone else he loves ever again. She says, if only he kept his promises as easily as he makes them, and leaves.

Esme tells Demetrius to look out for Nikolas. He’s the only one who can. He says, Mr. Cassadine has always looked out for him. If she’ll allow it, Nikolas will look after her too. Trust him. He leaves, and Esme throws herself on bed. She sits up, hearing the bathroom door creak.

At the hospital, a man goes to the reception desk, and says he’s looking for Nurse Elizabeth Baldwin. The nurse says she’ll see if Elizabeth is working today. Who should she say is asking for her? He says, her father, Jeff Webber. Jeff turns around, and sees Finn.

There’s knock at Nikolas’s door, and he says, back so soon? But it’s not Ava, it’s Elizabeth.

Tomorrow, Josslyn says, her mom took her chances, and now she’s taking hers; Willow wants to track down her biological family; Elizabeth asks Nikolas where Esme is; Brick meets Nina; and Esme says, bye-bye, baby.

👑 Prince Temporary…

I hate to say it, but this guy is kinda better.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Blessedly, it’s the final charter.

St. Paul’s Bay, Malta. The guests are waiting for breakfast service. The alarm goes off, but Elena sleeps through it. Tasha and Natalya serve, the slide is put out, and Elena continues to sleep. Captain Sandy tells the guests, no wearing necklaces or watches when they do water sports. She informs them that they might have to go to the dock tonight, or they won’t make it tomorrow. In her interview, Tasha says, in all her yachting seasons, she hit her lowest ever with this one. She takes pride in what she does, but her personal life infected the season. Her ex reached out to Dave, and it’s sh*t. Natalya wonders where Ellie is, and Tasha tells the guests the special is smashed avocado on homemade toast. I’ll take that with a side of eggs benedict. Dominique seems to love a challenge, and asks for regular pancakes. Tasha gives Dave the breakfast orders, and Dave attempts pancakes again, knowing it will be wrong. And they are – they’re literally raw on the inside. WTF? Even I know how to make a pancake. I used to take care of my neighbor’s kids, and one of them asked me to make a pancake shaped like Goofy. I’d never made a pancake in my life, and I managed to be successful with the Goofycake. And Dave can’t make a simple pancake? It’s like Bizarro World. Tasha asks how Dominique would prefer them, and he says, cooked, but in a surprise twist, he doesn’t want to hurt Dave’s feelings, and tells her to just say it was good. The water toys go out, and Tasha explains to Dave that the pancakes weren’t cooked. But he can’t see it, and says, Dominique is a pr*ck. On deck, Dominique says he’ll wait until he gets home to get pancakes the correct way. Again, it might have been fun if they’d invited him to show them his technique. Elena finally wakes up, two hours late. In her interview, she says, it’s her second day at work, and she’s late. Oh my God. In Tasha’s interview, she says, for f***’s sake. She has enough on her mind. She doesn’t need this. She tells Elena to get the cabins done, and the guests do water sports. In Mzi’s interview, he says, looking back, he was clueless about every operation on deck. Now he’s confident, and super proud. The future is looking up. Tasha’s ex texts Dave, calling him a bully who blames everyone but himself. In Dave’s interview, he’s sick of this guy calling him a bully, but Tasha agreed. She thinks he’s an animal. So to prove that point, he goes to find her like a panther on the hunt.

Tasha gets up from some downtime, and Dave knocks at her cabin. She says, no more arguments; she’s done with it. She’s got sh*t to sort out when she gets home. She doesn’t recognize herself; there’s nothing inside anymore. In Tasha’s interview, she says, Dave’s behavior was unacceptable this season. She learned a lot about herself in a painful way, but it was also painful to others. She doesn’t know how to be alone. She should be happy without another person; she’s learning. Dave tells her that he’s sorry. Captain Sandy decides to go back to the dock, and tells Storm and Courtney to start wrapping things up. She tells Dave that she’s going to be having dinner with the guests. Elena says, the cabins are done, and Natalya says, she’s magic. In Natalya’s interview, she says, if you’re going to sleep in, then work quick. Dave tells Tasha that he’s doing Asian food tonight, and making sea bream. In Dave’s interview, he says, he did it. He took so many steps backward this season. He feels like he caused drama, and it affected the crew. The least he can do is cook something amazing for the last dinner. Tasha and Natalya decorate the table, and in Storm’s interview, he says, to add to the already difficult docking, the visibility is the worst, and it’s the last time he gets to show what he’s learned being a bosun. He wants to show Captain Sandy that she made the right decision. They basically parallel park, and the captain says, great job. She checks out the dinner table, and says, awesome, and Dave says, the pressure’s on.

Primary Josh toasts to a wonderful couple of days, then guest Tyler gets up and says, Jack and Jill went up the hill, so Jack could l*ck Jill’s candy. Jack got a shock and a mouthful of c*ck, because Jill’s real name was Randy. Which isn’t even a toast. While the captain laughs along with the rest, in her interview, she’s like, come on. Dave comes up with the entree, and Captain Sandy says, it’s delicious, while another guest says, picture worthy. The captain tells the guests about her journey in yachting, and says she got on the drug and alcohol merry-go-round, and was kicked out of 11^th grade. She got a job washing boats, and did so well, she was hired full-time and her boss sent her to sea school. Storm tells Natalya that he’s both stoked and sad, and thanks her for being there for him this season. In his interview, he says, it’s difficult. He thinks she enjoys having him be that person for her, but he’ll miss her more than she’ll miss him.  

Dominique says he doesn’t like mushrooms, but these f***ing mushrooms are good. Storm asks for someone to help Ellie, and Courtney tells her that Reid is on his way to help. Captain Sandy excuses herself to get a good night’s sleep, and tells Dave that his food was good, and yummy, yummy, yummy. In Reid’s interview, he says he’s single, but he’s not negative about dating and hooking up. He thinks you can have fun, and not be serious… His grandma is going to kill him. Mzi suggests Reid follow up by helping with laundry, and he does. Dessert is a cheesecake with ginger crumb, which sounds like something I wouldn’t like, but I bet it’s f***ing good. Josh thanks Dave, Reid does laundry, and pretty much everyone goes to bed.

Natalya gets into bed with Storm, and says, it’s the last day. Tasha gets a text from Kyle, saying, he’ll be back in a couple of hours. Tasha texts back, he can stay on the boat tonight. Mimosas are given to the guests, and Reid tells Storm, it’s their last solid day together. Tasha asks if Dominique wants pancakes, and co-primary Sydney says she never wants to talk about pancakes again. Can’t say I blame her. The guests pack, and Natalya says she won’t miss the pantry one bit. It’s time to say goodbye to the guests, and after the hugfest, Josh says, they had a wonderful time. The crew made the experience everything they expected and more. He gives captain Sandy the tip envelope, and the guests depart. Captain Sandy tells the crew to stay in their whites and go directly to the tip meeting. The crew hops up and down, and Courtney says, let’s get lit, a word I will now forever associate with Erika Jayne. Natalya puts on a short blonde wig.  

Captain Sandy wonders what Natalya is up to, when she bounds in, doing a Captain Sandy imitation. She says, charter nine, everybody. This envelope is thick. We started off strong. We ended strong. Wow. High five. She runs down the line of crew members, high-fiving, and then sits down. Everyone cheers, and the captain says, awesome. Wow. They made it through the season. They were down a man with Kyle being out, but Ellie was a breath of fresh air. The tip is $20K, or $1800 each. Their total for the season is $188,100, or $17,000 per person. She’s going to be joining them for a while tonight. Kyle comes back to the boat, and he and Tasha hug. Dave helps him with his bag, and Kyle says he’s feeling good, even though his shoe is a little tight on his ankle. In Kyle’s interview, he says, it’s lonesome by yourself during the recovery process. After two tequilas, magically everything will feel great. He meets Elena, who’s wearing a tight sparkly dress, and he zips her up. He tells the others that he might sleep with one of them tonight, and they head out in a bus to a restaurant n Venetta.

Natalya asks Captain Sandy, officially, who’s her favorite? If they were hanging off a cliff, who would she pick to save? Obviously, the captain isn’t going to answer this question, but in Natalya’s interview, she says, she knows Captain Sandy would pick her. The captain asks what everyone’s highs and lows were, and Courtney says, she felt welcomed being a female deckie, and becoming lead deckhand was amazing. She couldn’t have done it without them. Dave says, his thorn was going through some of the lowest times, but his was that they all supported him. He’s super grateful. Tasha says, Kyle’s been her rock, and she and Natasha are like twins. Dave was super patient and calm, and made her job easier. Like I said, Bizarro World. Storm says, his thorn was hitting the dolphin because of his lack of experience. His rose was getting along with the crew, and gelling in his role with them. He had a phenomenal time. Natalya says, he forgot a rose, and in Storm’s interview, he says, he knows Natalya hates public affection. He would have done an Oscar worthy Leonardo DiCaprio for her, but he knew she didn’t want that, and he got sh*t anyway. He tells Natalya, that’s more of a personal thing.

Captain Sandy tells them, it’s been a pleasure; have fun. She leaves, and Storm and Mzi go for a smoke. Storm tells Mzi that he can’t keep up with Natalya’s sh*t. Elena wants to party, and Erika Natalya suggests they get lit. They go inside and dance. Elena dances with Reid, and in her interview, she says she wishes they had more time to get to know one another. Kyle tells Natalya that he’s glad they met, and in his interview, he says, Natalya is a massive ball of energy. He’s willing to forgive, but he won’t forget what she did. But who’s counting? When glass starts breaking, it’s time to go. In their taxi, the guys fist bump to their last time out. Storm suggests they jump into the river, but Reid is like, no. Back at the yacht, Storm is ready to jump in, for some reason thinking they were all in agreement, but Courtney encourages everyone to just get back on the boat. Storm gets pissed off, telling Mzi that he looked like an idiot. He tells Natalya about it, but she says, they should focus on their last night together, and tells him not to bring up his sh*t with other people. Don’t be a sourpuss. He says he’s not a sourpuss. Ellie says, the Old Fashioned she drank f***ed her up, and goes to bed. In Kyle’s interview, he says, ankle? What ankle? Everyone goes to the hot tub area, where the stripper pole still stands, and they go nuts dancing. In Courtney’s interview, she says she’s never seen anything like it. They’re going wild. Two hours sleep in four days; it’s just what they need. In Mzi’s interview, he says, this is the wildest side he’s seen of everybody. He’s never seen Tasha like this. Kyle and Tasha hole up in a guest cabin, and Tasha says she’s proud of him. He says he couldn’t have done it without her. In Natalya’s interview, she says, Storm likes her, and she likes him, but she doesn’t know what she wants.

In the morning, everyone groans when the alarm clocks go off. Elena is about to put a fork in the toaster, when Storm stops her, explaining why you can’t do that. She wonders why she didn’t know this, and I do too, since she’s not five years old. Everyone packs, and Elena is the first to say goodbye. She and Reid say they’ll keep in touch, and in Reid’s interview, he sighs, and says, shoot. He doesn’t want to go home just yet. Reid is next to say goodbye, and Storm says, Reid is a legend. Mzi thanks Captain Sandy for the season, and says, it was absolutely incredible. She’s a big inspiration and guide. She tells him that he’s always welcome wherever she’s captain. In Mzi’s interview, he says he’s come a long way. He’s learned he needs to be more assertive. He’s going for his yacht master’s, and then wants to be a bosun like his brother. He’s excited for the future. He hugs Courtney, and she says, being with him was so much fun. Storm tells Mzi that he’s great. Kyle says goodbye to the captain, who says she can see his passion for yachting. He cuddles with Tasha under a blanket, and in his interview, he says, he’s looking forward to seeing Frank. If he keeps the faith, things will happen, but there’s only one way to find out – a one-way ticket to New York. If there are fireworks there, it’s in the bag. Captain Sandy tells Courtney that she’s an asset to any boat. She worked hard on deck and served. In Courtney’s interview, she says she’s proud of herself. She came in sh*tting her pants, and became lead deckhand. If she can get some years in as bosun, that would be amazing. The captain tells Tasha, it’s been a pleasure, and thanks her for bringing the level of service that she did. She never lost her temper or spiraled. She showed up every day, and the captain never worried about service. Tasha thanks her, and says she didn’t worry because she had Captain Sandy. She tells Dave that she’s leaving. It wasn’t easy, but they made it to the end. In Tasha’s interview, she says, for the first time in a decade, she’s single. She learned a lot about herself. She has to stand up for herself, she doesn’t need more man drama, and needs to be more open. The future is exciting, and she has a lot to look forward to. A producer says, like what? and she says, finding a man… Jokes. Hmm… but I wonder. Captain Sandy tells Dave that he kept the galley clean, and brought art to the food. In Dave’s interview, as usual, he’s a wet blanket. He says he definitely hasn’t been himself. He’s been treading water the whole season. He won’t get the conversation he’s looking for from Tasha, and he feels terrified that he won’t see her again, but he wants the best for her. The captain tells Natalya that she was a joy every day. She brings light. I can only assume there’s a lot we didn’t see. Off the boat, Storm says he’s going to miss her, and she jumps into his arms. In Natalya’s interview, she says, it’s sad to say goodbye. When you’re living and working with someone, they become a part of you, but at the end of the day, she doesn’t think he’s her person. She tells him, see you on the flip side, and in Storm’s interview, he says, obviously, he’s grown fond of Natalya. Maybe they’ll see each other in the future. Who knows? He tells Captain Sandy, he’s out of here, and thanks her for the opportunity. He’s forever grateful. She says she made the right choice. His growth was incredible to witness. He’s a great bosun, and she’ll have him back any time. In his interview, he says, being promoted was intense. He learned about himself, and how he comes across when he’s stressed. He wants to be a captain and do dive charters. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, how it ended was incredible. In a perfect world, they learn from their mistakes. To grow is to succeed, and this season was a success. Another one down.

Next time, the Reunion.

🛬 Putting the Tray Table in the Upright Position…

Come back tomorrow for soap and a read of some tea leaves. Until then, stay safe, stay saying something if you see something, and stay celebrating the small victories.