What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny and Phyllis walk through a 4^th of July celebration, and Phyllis hands Sonny a flag. She tells him that Lenny is going to join them at the parade. He loves the high school band, and the majorettes in the unforms that are always a little too snug. He says he misses Lenny, but he’s glad Phyllis talked him into taking it easy tonight. She says, what about him? He seems to be working like crazy. Why doesn’t he take it easy, and enjoy some rare time off?

Dante asks if Sam and Elizabeth really started the fire, and Elizabeth says, it was just some harmless fun. Finn says they might not want to say anymore, and Sam says, please. Everything was under control… until she had a little bit of tequila. Maybe a lot. Dante says, that’s funny. All these buildings are full of flammable materials. One spark, the whole thing goes up. Sam says, boom, and Elizabeth says, but it didn’t. He says that’s not the point, and Sam says, seriously, take off the badge; it’s a holiday. Elizabeth gets up and says she’s taking Sam home, but Dante says, no one’s going anywhere. Not until he gets some answers. Sam says, or what? and he says, or he takes them down to the station.

Cameron says, if Dev hadn’t made him think Josslyn wasn’t into him, what would have happened? Would they have gotten together after they kissed at the dance? Would they be together now? She says she doesn’t know. They never got the chance to find out.

Maxie rocks Louise/Bailey, and says she’s so happy to see her. She’s missed her so much. With all her heart and soul. Monica comes in, and Maxie says, isn’t she beautiful? Monica says, yes, she is. She’s gorgeous. Can she hold Bailey? Maxie seems hesitant.

Anna and Valentin kiss, and Anna asks what he’s doing. None of that. He says he kissed her, and if you ask him, it’s long overdue. Ditto if you ask me.

Obrecht meets Nina at Charlie’s and they hug. Obrecht says their paths have barely crossed since Nina has been back in town. Nina says she knows, but now they have time to catch up. Tell her everything. How is she? Obrecht says, so much has happened, she wouldn’t know where to start, and Nina says, all good, I hope. Obrecht says, some wonderful, some heart-wrenching, but they can talk about her later. Nina is the one who’s been off on an adventure. Nina says, that’s one way of putting it, and Obrecht asks, what exactly is out there that’s kept her away from Port Charles for so long?

Sonny says, if the heat continues, he may take Phyllis up on her offer, and she asks what the weather has to do with it. She takes out her keys, and says, take her car. Go visit Nina in Port Charles. She holds the keys out to him.

Carly says sorry Jason has to stick around for Vincent Novak’s sake. She knows he’d rather be at the bridge. He says, wouldn’t she? and she says, hell yeah. The view of the fireworks is much better from there. He says he’ll survive, and she tells him, she used to resent that bridge. She hated it because it was a Jason and Robin thing. It felt very off-limits to her. (Have I mentioned that I hate Carly?) He says he took her there himself, and she says, it’s a girl thing. They should go back to the bridge one day. He says, whenever she wants. Deal? She says, deal. Britt and Jax come out of the elevator, laughing, and walk over to the bar. Carly asks if they’re together, and Britt says, sure are. Small world, isn’t it?

Elizabeth says, the station? and Dante says, yeah. Sam gets up, and says so he wants to detain them? Arrest them? She holds out her wrists, and he says he wasn’t going to take it that far, but he could have them for drunk and disorderly, public disturbance… She pushes him, and asks why he doesn’t add assaulting a cop while he’s at it. He says, right here, pointing to his cheek, and she takes a swing at him, but fails miserably, nearly falling. He tries to grab her, but they both fall in the water.

Josslyn asks if Cameron and Dev ever talked about… He says, they talked around it, kind of. The more he thinks about that last night, the more he thinks Dev wanted to come clean about that journal. She says, he just ran out of time. It’s so stupid. He says, what? and she says, why didn’t they all just talk to each other, and say how they were really feeling? He says, that would have made things a little easier, but she says, it would have made them real. Instead, they were just pretending. He says she has no idea. Does she remember when he helped her make Oscar jealous? She says, yeah. He brought it up a couple months ago, and let it drop. He says, if he’d had the courage to finish what he was saying, it was that when he was pretending to be into her, he wasn’t pretending at all.

Monica suggests they put Bailey back in the carriage, but Maxie says, it’s okay. Monica says Maxie’s arms must be getting tired, but Maxie says she could hold this little peanut all day long. Monica asks if she doesn’t want to spend some time with James and Georgie, and Maxie says, they’re with her mom and Mac, which allowed her to spend some time with this little one. Brook walks in, and Monica says she’s sure Bailey wants to see her mommy.

Anna backs away from Valentin, and says, this is inappropriate. He moves forward until her back is to the railing, and says, is it? She says, it’s not their relationship; it’s never been their relationship. He says maybe he’s crazy, but it felt like she kissed him back. She says, okay, fine. She kissed him back, but it can’t happen again.

Sonny thanks Phyllis for the offer, but says, it’s no time to take a vacation. She asks what he’s afraid of. That Nina’s happy where she is without him, or if he goes and tells her how he feels, she might just say she feels the same way?

Obrecht says, what’s waiting for Nina back in that Pennsylvania town? Or is it a who? Nina says, Obrecht just assumes there’s a man? and Obrecht says, is there?… There is. Nina says, yes, there is. She met someone and it’s really good for her. She believes it’s really good for him. Obrecht says, that’s wonderful. Does this mystery man have a name, and does she have any pictures? Nina says, Mike, and Obrecht says, Mike, how industrial. Mike…? Nina says, Mike, and Obrecht says, no last name, no photos… Ach nein. Tell her he’s not married.

Britt says it’s not really a surprise they’d all run into each other. Carly owns the hotel, Britt’s room is downstairs. It’s so nice, by the way. Doesn’t Jax think her room is nice? I laugh, and Jax says, very. Britt says, speaking of surprises, Carly and Jason. Wow. Carly says, kind of like Britt and Jax, and Jax says he and Britt actually discovered they have a lot in common. Vincent Novak watches, and Jason suggests he and Carly get a table. Carly tells Britt and Jax to enjoy their evening, and Britt says, them too. Carly and Jason go to sit down, and Jax asks if Britt is okay. She says she could use some air, and they go out on the terrace. Carly tells Jason, Britt and Jax came there because they knew Jason would be there. And they’re sleeping together. Does he realize they’re sleeping together? Jason says, thanks, Captain Obvious. Not really, but he should.

Sam and Dante are out of the water, and Sam says, it was just an accident. She’s thankful for it, because it’s like, 90 degrees out there, and now she’s cooled off. Dante tells her that she’s skating on really, really thin ice right now, and Sam yells, melted ice! Cuz it’s hot! Elizabeth says, obviously, they acted impulsively, arguably stupidly… Dante says, arguably? and Elizabeth says, there were mitigating circumstances. He says he’s listening. What was it? Sam was declaring her independence. From what? Sam says, not what; who. Elizabeth says, obviously they haven’t heard about the big engagement, and Sam says, Carly and Jason are getting married.

Cameron says he’s liked Josslyn for as long as he can remember. That doesn’t take away from their friendship; he thinks it actually strengthens it. She says, because the trust is already there, and he says, right. She’s someone he can talk about anything with. She says they should try that sometime, and he says, she’s someone who’s been there with him since he was a kid. Someone who’ll give him a kick in the butt if he needs one. She says, and then some, and he says, it’s really special. She says she knows, because that’s exactly how she feels about him.

Brook thanks Maxie for watching the baby, and Maxie says, any time. Monica says they were just going to put her down for a nap. Maxie says, good idea, and Brook moves to take her, and Maxie says, watch her head. Brook asks Maxie if she’d go to the nursery and grab the fuzzy blanket with the ducks; it’s Bailey’s favorite. Maxie says they can’t have Bailey getting cold, and Brook thanks her. Maxie says, no problem, and goes upstairs. Monica tells Brook that she’s got to disagree with Maxie. They have a big problem.

Anna tells Valentin, things have been stressful for her lately, and obviously, she’s not thinking clearly. He says, obviously, and she says she doesn’t know what happened. He says, it’s called a kiss, and she says, it’s called proximity. He says, so if the mailman had been there, she would have kissed him instead? and she tells him, don’t try to be cute. He says he doesn’t have to try, and she says they’re all entitled to errors in judgement, and this is not irrevocable by any means. He says he thought it was a good kiss. She says, it was, but that’s not the point. The point is, the two of them, and everything they’ve been to each other over the years. That’s why this is wrong on so many levels. He says, it won’t happen again, and she says, no. He says, why not? and she asks if he’s not listening to everything she’s saying. He says she’s so beautiful and enchanting – he pulls her to him – and he’s wanted her for years. She says, that’s the other problem. He just doesn’t see her clearly; he never did. That’s why none of this is real. He says it felt pretty real to him.

Nina asks if she and Obrecht can talk about something else. Her phone rings, and she sees it’s Mike/Sonny. She decides to ignore it. Sonny gets voicemail. He says he was wondering how her 4^th of July was going, and hopes she’s having fun. Obrecht asks if it was him, and why didn’t Nina answer? Nina asks if she’s always been this nosey, and Obrecht says, yah. Nina says she has actual news she needs to tell Obrecht, but the only reason she’s telling her is because it directly affects Britt. Obrecht asks, what is it? and Nina says, Britt and Jason have gotten really close. Obrecht says, finally, the man who’s a match for her Britta, and vice versa. Nina says she’s sorry. She hates to be the one to tell Obrecht, but Jason and Carly are getting married. Obrecht looks crestfallen.

Carly tells says she’s so sorry. She knows this must be hard for Jason. He says, Britt can do whatever she wants, and Carly says, she’s rebounding so hard, she might as well be on a trampoline. And so is Jax. He’s supposed to be so in love with Nina, why the hell is he jumping into bed with Britt? Jason says it’s none of their business, and Carly looks miffed. Good. I hope he starts telling her to shut up. Vincent approaches their table, and says he tried to pay his tab, but was told it’s on the house. He thanks them for their hospitality. Carly says, of course (🍷), and he says, congratulations again. Expect a wedding gift from the Novak family. Carly says they love gifts, and Vincent leaves with his crew. She tells Jason, that went well, and he says, as well as it could. She says, now that Novak is gone, she’s going to talk to Jax. Jason tells her, don’t, but she says she didn’t listen to him before, and she’s not listening now that they’re getting married. She walks out to the terrace.

Dante says, if he’s shocked, he can only imagine how Sam is feeling right now. She says she’s fine, but he says she doesn’t seem fine. No offense. Finn goes over to Elizabeth, and asks if she’s okay. She says she and Jason were over a long time ago. It’s Sam she’s worried about. She just didn’t want Sam to be by herself. He says, that’s nice to hear, and when Sam suggested pyrotechnics, Elizabeth couldn’t talk her out of it? She says, well… and he says, it was her idea? She says it may have been her idea, but it was for a good cause, and nobody got hurt. He looks at Dante, and says, almost no one. Dante tells Sam, come on, and she asks where they’re going. He says she’ll see, and she asks if he’s taking her to the station. He says, no. Does she trust him? She says she doesn’t know. Does she? He takes her hand, and tells Finn that he’ll make sure Sam gets home. Finn says he’ll do the same there, indicating Elizabeth. Dante leaves with Sam.

Josslyn says, for the longest time, she thought she was betraying Oscar by having feelings for Cameron, so she never acted on it. He says he felt that too. Like somehow he’d be taking advantage of the fact Oscar was gone. She says, imagine if they’d just talked about this like normal people, and he suggests they talk about it now.

Brook puts Bailey in her carriage, and Monica says, if Brook heard what she heard, and she did, she’d know the situation is very serious. Brook says she doesn’t know if she’d call it a situation, and Monica says, if Maxie is using Bailey as a substitute for her pain, that’s very unhealthy.

Anna says she knows Valentin has a dark past, and all these demons and things, and she’s always been unattainable to him or whatever, but go see a shrink. He can’t go around kissing her to work it out. He asks what her therapist would say about her kissing him, and Anna tells him, she would say that he’s the avatar for all her mistakes, and she feels he has empathy for those mistakes. That’s the reason she’s drawn to him, and blah-blah-blah psychobabble. He says she gets him like nobody gets him, and she says, don’t do that. Don’t do the whole shorthand thing. He says so she admits there’s a shorthand with them, and she says, yes, but… He says, but nothing. They understand one another. He’s fascinated by her, and he’s intensely attracted to her. He doesn’t want to apologize for that.

Sonny tells Phyllis that he tried calling Nina, but she didn’t pick up. He guesses she’s busy with her grandson. She says, probably, but she bets Nina is wondering what he’s up to. She’d be jealous as all hell to find out they’re feasting on barbecues and beers before watching the fireworks. He says, it’s pretty nice, huh? and she says, like heaven. Just missing one sweet blonde angel. He laughs.

Britt tells Jax, she’s sorry he had to see that. It was childish and snarky. She’d say it’s way beneath her, but thinks they both know that would be a lie. He says he doesn’t mind that she’s picking a fight with Carly, but he wants to warn her that it’s an unpleasant experience. She says, please. She grew up with Liesl Obrecht. Carly doesn’t scare her. The devil herself walks out, and asks if she can have a moment with Jax. Britt asks Jax if he’d like to have a moment with Carly, and he says, sure. Britt says she’ll be at the bar, and leaves. Carly whacks Jax with her hand, and tells him, stop being fake. She gets that they’re consenting adults, but what’s wrong with him? He knows Britt fell hard for Jason. Don’t take advantage of that. He says he’s tempted to say, if she knew about Britt’s feelings, why didn’t she restrain herself? and she says, but he’s not going to say that at all. He says he thinks it’s kinder this way, saving Britt from what Carly put the others through. She says, what others? and he says, Robin, Courtney, Elizabeth, Sam. They all thought they had something special with Jason, right? But the truth is, they didn’t, because she has this stranglehold on Jason, and refuses to let go.

Jason sits by Britt at the bar, and heaves a sigh. I want to smack him. He says, Carly doesn’t know about the Huntington’s, and she says, okay, refusing to look at him. He says, nobody does. He hasn’t told anyone, and he’s not going to. He knows they’ve been over this, but he wants to make something absolutely clear. Just because he’s marrying Carly, doesn’t mean he’s bailing on her. He’s there for her, whatever she needs. She guesses it’s her turn to be clear, since it obviously didn’t sink in the first time. Go to hell.

Finn tells Elizabeth, it’s just him there; she doesn’t have to worry about Sam’s feelings. It’s okay if she’s feeling upset about Carly and Jason. She says Sam was feeling upset about Carly and Jason. She’s not upset, and she’s not surprised. Carly and Jason always came first with each other, everyone else be damned. He says he’s heard that before about a certain person and the WSB. No matter who you are, you always come in second. She says, look at them. Misery loves company. He tells her, that’s what they say, but he’s not miserable. Is she? She says, no. Not right now anyway.

Josslyn asks where they start, and Cameron says, the dance might be a good place, where they kissed. She says, for the record, it was an awesome kiss; she really loved it. He says he thought so, the way she kissed back. Then the Dev stuff happened. She says she kept hoping he’d bring it up, but he never did, so she assumed the kiss didn’t mean anything. He says, she thought it didn’t mean anything? and she asks how she was supposed to know. He says, it meant everything, but she says, it was so long ago. So much life has passed. They can’t go back. He says, maybe not, but maybe they can move forward.

Valentin says, if Anna is telling him it’s more than she can do right now, that’s fine; no harm, no foul. She says don’t make it about her being weak and not being able to handle it. It’s that she can’t be interested in him that way, and she never will. He asks if she’s sure, and she tells him, don’t stand there thinking he’s all irresistible. He says he is irresistible, and she laughs, saying, oh my God.

Dante and Sam go into Charlie’s, and Sam says she’ll buy the coffee. It’s the least she can do. He says he’s buying; she had a rough night. She says, that’s no excuse. Obrecht approaches them, and says, so it’s true. Jason and Carly are getting married. Sam says, word does get around. It’s true. Jason and Carly are getting married. Obrecht sits back down, and Nina says she’s so sorry. The news seems to be hitting Obrecht hard. Is she going to be okay? Obrecht says she just thought her Britta had a chance at happiness. What if it’s the last one she gets?

Britt says, Jason made his choice – Carly. Let’s move on. Jason doesn’t get to marry Carly, then make himself feel better by swooping in and protecting her. She doesn’t need help. She’s strong enough to deal with her diagnosis on her own. He says he knows, but he gave her his word, and his word means something. She says, really? Then something more important came up? She gets it. They’ve known each other three months, and he and Carly have been friends for decades. Of course (🍷) Carly is the one he’s committing to, and she gets kicked to the curb. He says, that’s not… She says, what happened? and he says, that’s not how he felt. Britt meant something to him; she still does. She says, there is no choice where everyone gets everything. It’s impossible. Even Superman had to pick a lane. (Ha-ha! Nerd joke.) Does he want to do something for her? He says, anything, and she says, be honest, and admit he’s been in love with Carly all along.

Jax says, it was inevitable, and Carly asks, what was? He says she just had to come first in Jason’s life. As soon as Sonny died, it was inevitable that she and Jason… She says, watch it, and he tells her, he’s not saying she didn’t love Sonny; he knows she did. But it was convenient that Jason was Sonny’s best friend. She could be Sonny’s wife, but keep a grip on her fallback. She says, Jason’s not a fallback, and Jax says, he’s much more than that, isn’t he? He was an idiot to think this might be a way out of this life for her. The irony is, Jason would have let her go. Sonny, probably not, but Jason would have. But it’s not what she wanted. She wanted Jason, and he comes with the mob. So here she is, as cemented in this life as ever.

Finn says, it’s nice sometimes, just letting everything go, and Elizabeth says, for a little while. She might be hungover in the morning. He says, that might be a distinct possibility. She tells him, it’s worth it. The fireworks start, and she says, they’re starting. She watches the fireworks, and Finn watches her.   

Josslyn says, Cameron asked what would have happened if Dev hadn’t forged her journal, but she said she didn’t know. She says she knows what she wanted to happen, and he says, him too. He kisses her, and fireworks go off. Literally.

Monica tells Brook that Maxie is talking as if Bailey is her own baby. She thinks Maxie needs counseling. She’s going to talk to Mac and Felicia. Brook says, Maxie is a grown woman. Monica doesn’t need to go to her parents. Monica says, then who else? and Brook says she’ll talk to Maxie. She’ll voice Monica’s concerns, gently of course (🍷), and try to make her understand. Monica says, and if she can’t? Brook says, then they’ll revisit the parent option. She promises she’ll be careful. Maxie walks in, and says, careful about what?   

Anna says, Valentin is endlessly resistible to her, and he says, but he’s charming. She says, charming, yes. He’s somewhat amoral, but he’s a good father; she’ll give him that. But then he solves his problems with blackmail and murder. He’ll just encourage her to give in to her worst impulses. That’s just it. He’s a terrible influence on her. He says, her worst impulses are the sexiest he’s ever seen, and he couldn’t influence her if he wanted to. She says she’s going to keep it that way.  

Sam and Dante look at the fireworks, and Dante says, for what it’s worth (🍷), he thinks Jason messed up. He had the chance of a lifetime, and didn’t take it. If it had been him, he’d have chosen her. Sam moves toward him, and they kiss.

Jason says, he’ll always love Carly. She always took him as she found him. Britt says, so did she, and he says, he and Carly have been to hell and back; name it, and it happened to them. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t love the other women he’s been with, because he did. With Carly, it’s not more or less; she’s just a part of him. Britt says, who wouldn’t want to be loved like that? She’ll give Carly this much; she knows it, and knows the good thing she has in him. She loves him as much as he loves her, so congratulations. She hopes they’ll be happy together. She walks away from the bar.

Carly says, nothing Jax is laying out is as simple as he makes it. She’ll tell him this, and he can believe it or not. Marrying Jason is the best choice she could make for her family. He says he knows she believes that. That’s what makes it so damn sad. Britt comes out, and says Carly’s fiancé is waiting, and Carly goes back inside.

Elizabeth says Finn isn’t the only one who needs a break from everything. He doesn’t want to start a fire, but he thinks he knows where she’s coming from. Elizabeth puts her head on his shoulder, and he says, the last few weeks, spending time with her, he doesn’t think she realizes how much it meant to him. How important she is to him. He looks at her, but she’s asleep, and he smiles.

Josslyn tells Cameron, that was awful. She laughs, and says she’s kidding. He says she’s the worst, and she says she knows. He says she’s his best friend, and she says she knows. She tells him that she has to get going. She has to get Donna and Avery. He says he should probably get Jake and Aiden at the pool, and they say goodnight. Josslyn starts to walk away, but he calls her back. He asks if she wants to hang out some time, and she says, when? He says, tomorrow? but she says she can’t tomorrow; she’s already made plans… But she thinks she can cancel them. He says, cool, and she says, cool. She leaves, and he looks up at the fireworks.

Brook tells Maxie that she was talking about being careful with the temperature. The AC can get aggressive, and they don’t want Bailey to freeze. Maxie picks up a blanket, and Brook says, got it, taking it out of her hand. Brook puts it on the baby, and Maxie says she was checking out the nursery. Monica says, it’s so sweet, and Maxie says, the sweetest nursery for the sweetest girl in the whole world.

Valentin says he can’t force Anna to see things the way he did, and she says, he can’t. He says, if it’s just a kiss, he’ll take it, but if she wants more, she knows where to find him. She asks why he keeps doing that. Act like he’s backing off, then do the opposite. He says because she denies it, when she knows there’s more pulling them together than pushing them apart. She says she’s not going to stand there, dissecting kiss didn’t mean anything. He knows who she has to find. If he hears anything from his contacts, let her know. He says, absolutely, darling, and she leaves.

Dante says, sorry, and Sam says she can’t do this. She walks away, and he sits outside Charlie’s.

Nina says she knows Obrecht is worried about her daughter. She’s sorry Obrecht has to go through this heartache, but she thinks the situation is something Britt will figure out on her own. Obrecht asks how that’s working out for Nina. Any idea what comes next?

Phyllis tells Mike/Sonny that she’s sure Nina will call back after her time with her family. He says, God knows he’s enjoying spending time with his family. Everyone watches the fireworks.

Carly tells Jason, Jax knows how to stick the knife in and twist it. Not like Sonny, where it was just cheap shots. The problem is, a big part of her is afraid Jax might be right. Jason says, come on, and she asks, where? He says, if they go to the bridge, they’ll miss the fireworks, and they walk outside. He says, they’re doing what they have to do. Whatever happens, he’s glad he’s there with her. She says, her too; happy 4^th. She hugs him, and Britt watches.

Tomorrow, Nikolas talks to Martin about the divorce, Curtis asks if Jordan is going to fight their divorce, and Stella tells TJ, it ain’t over til it’s over.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

The show started at a party, with Sutton asking Crystal why she’s so defensive, and Crystal saying Sutton is upset because she’s jealous. Sutton says, jealous of what? Crystal’s ugly leather pants? Sutton left the party, trailed by LisaR asking, what happened?

3 days earlier. In LisaR’s interview, she explained that Harry’s three specialties were Harry’s meat, which was Kobe beef, blueberry pie, and bolognaise. He was the domestic one, and no one wanted her cooking. She was a great cheerleader though, and could make you feel fabulous while you’re doing all the work. Sounds like a position I’d like. Erika, Crystal, and a couple of Crystal’s friends went to Kathy’s place to use her tennis court. In Erika’s interview, she said, Kathy told them, just let yourself in, and that’s what was great about friends like Kathy. Erika was trying to motivate herself to go out and do things, and not wallow. So she was there… and she was terrible. Erika spoke the truth. I probably play better, and I stink. In Crystal’s interview, she said she was a total tomboy, and seriously into sports. A lot of people said she was competitive, but whoever said that was probably a loser. I think Crystal’s problem is, she wants to be a cool girl, and ends up just sounding mean. More like a cool girl who rules by fear, and ends up on the losing end, like Regina George. I will give her this, she’s a good tennis player, and she and Erika ended up winning the match even though Erika was the worst. In her interview, Crystal said that Erika’s willingness was a 10, but her skill level was a 2. They had lunch with Kathy, and Erika said her new place was in shambles, Kathy said, but it was hers, and Erika agreed. She said she was trying to be social, and Kathy asked if she’d been social when she was married, Erika said, all the time, but it was all business. It was all of what Tom wanted. In her interview, Erika said, it was all set up already; she just inserted herself. Just because you have a lot of money doesn’t mean you’re independent. She had no housekeeper or gardener now, but she valued her privacy. Plus, she could throw her sh*t all over because it was her place. Kathy said Erika’s smile seemed genuine and not forced. I have to note, Kathy has several dogs, but one is either a Pekingese or a Peke mix. Information you need to know…   

Kyle and family took their Christmas card photo, all wearing matching red PJs. Kathy came by, and pulled an amazing amount of items out of her bag. In her interview, she said you could find everything in her bag; socks, extra shoes, a sweater, a pair of sandals for a pedicure… In Kyle’s interview, she added carpet samples, drapery samples, and wallpaper samples. I carry a lot of stuff too, but never home goods samples. Kathy said she’d talked to Kim for three hours, and Kyle said she was worried about Kim being in quarantine. Kathy said she’d asked if Kim wanted to come along, but Kim said she was too nervous. She also gave Kyle the news that Kim had changed her phone number. We saw a clip of Kyle telling Mauricio that she and Kim weren’t talking, and the relationship was strained. At times, they were okay, but it seemed hard to get all three of them on the same page at the same time. Kyle said she had a husband, children, and dogs, but Kim was by herself. Kathy said Kim claimed all this was supposed to have happened, so they could have quiet time, and figure out where they wanted to be in life.

LisaR visited Erika in her new home, which we found out costs $9500 a month to rent. LisaR said it had a good vibe, and in her interview, she said it gave her a hopeful feeling seeing Erika in her own space that she created. It wasn’t easy to go from a life where you had help and everything was done for you, to doing everything yourself. In Erika’s interview, a producer asked if she had money concerns, and she said she did, but she’d also had a bunch of lucrative projects in a row, like her book, being on Broadway, and several collaborations. She had enough for her little house. Sutton joined them, and brought Erika a housewarming gift of Dolce & Gabbana’s book, Queens. In Sutton’s interview, she said, what better housewarming present? When Erika was sad and lonely, she could see Sutton’s picture – twice. She told Erika that she hated to say it, but she seemed happier, and Erika said there was only so much time you could have with someone before you wanted to talk about real things. In her interview, Erika said she’d mentioned to Tom that she was seeing a shrink, and all he said was, okay. Because what does she have to be depressed about? Sutton said Crystal wasn’t willing to back up, and say maybe she used the wrong word. LisaR asked if Crystal was still talking about it, and Sutton said the peeping Tom thing needed to be dropped. In her interview, she said she didn’t think peeping Toms knocked on the door. They peeped.

Garcelle’s son Jax was learning Japanese, and got frustrated when Garcelle made to much noise in the background while he was taking his online class. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, being trapped inside with two teenage boys was maddening. They were home schooling, and everyone was on top of each other. She found herself going to the pantry for a quick shot of tequila. She was on the teenage hormone train, and didn’t know what was coming next. Last week, Jaid wanted her all to himself, but this week, he wanted nothing to do with her. When she was growing up, she wasn’t allowed to have those emotions.

LisaR had Harry prepare an Italian meal for the women, and in her interview, she said that Harry had lived in Italy for three years; it was in his blood. He had LisaR taste-test sauces, and LisaR discovered she liked the one with the tomatoes from their garden the best, which made sense, since they’d be freshest. In LisaR’s interview, she said Garcelle had wanted a birthday party, but couldn’t have one due to covid. They were still in the process of repairing their relationship, but knew she couldn’t force it. At the end of the day, they might not end up being great friends. Kyle visited Dorit, who had a fabulous Christmas village set up. Kyle said Dorit made her feel like an underachiever, and Dorit said Kyle had three trees. Kyle said, but she didn’t have a Santa village. In Dorit’s interview, she said she’d mostly designed swimwear and leisurewear, but was moving into bridal. Designer Nektoria had reached out to her to collaborate on a wedding dress line, and she couldn’t wait to see the first bride walk down the aisle in her design. She’d wanted something comfortable, but special, for her own wedding, and wished she’d designed her own dress.

Harry welcomed the women to Napolitano, where they sat at an amazing outside table under an arbor.  In Dorit’s interview, she said Harry was a gourmet chef, while PK specialized in, babe, can you get me a sandwich? Harry pointed out that their pool wasn’t for them. It was so their kids would come back with their kids. Kyle said she’d been Amelia’s age when she had her first child, nearly giving Harry apoplexy. When Sutton arrived, someone – I think Kathy – said, hi, Thomasina, which did not go over well. Sutton said she was ready for that to end. Garcelle reminisced about being there for a party where she and LisaR had been on the dance floor all night. In her interview, she said her assistant had been her date, and she hadn’t remembered stumbling out. Harry joined them for the meal, and LisaR said that the girls were going to Cabo for Thanksgiving. They’d originally planned on meeting them, but were concerned about the borders closing because of covid. It was the first time she wouldn’t be spending Thanksgiving with the girls or Lois. She wasn’t asking a lot of questions about Amelia and Scott, and Crystal chimed in that Rob was older, but they were the exception. Of course they are. Crystal is also a can-you-top-this person. LisaR said she was trying to be easy with it, but the tabloids had them engaged. In her interview, she said her mom saw one at the market, and called her asking if it was true. That’s what she was dealing with. Harry said the age difference between him and Ursula Andress was 14 years. He’d been 29 and she was 44 when they had their son. In her interview, LisaR said, you never think it will come back to haunt you when you have kids. Harry ate, then dashed to the kitchen, bringing out a cake. Garcelle’s birthday wish was, she wanted him hung like a horse, and Harry told her to be careful what she wished for. Garcelle said she probably wouldn’t know where to put it. She said she appreciated the party, especially LisaR throwing it. In Garcelle’s interview, she said last year, it was a rocky road with her and LisaR. They needed to figure out if they had a friendship and what it looked like. That LisaR was making an effort, definitely meant something.  

It was present time, and Crystal, Kathy, and Kyle kicked in to get Garcelle a duplicate of a ring she’d admired on Crystal. Erika gave Garcelle a fluffy jacket that was no doubt cashmere, and Dorit gave her a designer cap. Kyle asked Sutton what was wrong, and Sutton said she didn’t like being where she didn’t like people. Kyle asked who she didn’t like, and Sutton shifted her eyes to Crystal. Kyle told Sutton to come with her, and they went to a bar out in the yard. Sutton said she wanted to go home, and Kyle asked what she’d missed. Nothing had happened. Sutton said to tell the truth, she had a difficult time being fake, and in her interview, she said it was hard to sit across the table from someone who obviously didn’t like her. She told Kyle that Crystal had been talking bad behind her back, and was looking smug at her. I have to agree here. Crystal smirks a lot. Sutton said it was wearing at her, and she still felt weird. Crystal had talked behind Sutton’s back, Sutton had tried to say her piece, and Crystal never apologized. In Kyle’s interview, she said this wasn’t the Sutton she knew. Sutton was being extremely emotional and irrational. Yeah, let’s not even get into what a very poor judge of character Kyle is. If someone was smirking like that at me all the time, I’d be hard pressed not to wipe it off their face, but Sutton doesn’t know what to do because she’s polite. She told Kyle that she wasn’t over being told she violated someone. Kyle said Crystal had told them she didn’t mean sexually, and we flashed back to that.

At the table, LisaR screeched that they should do shots, and everyone chanted, shots, shots, shots! Sutton told Kyle, she was so not okay, and she couldn’t get it together. Garcelle turned into that person, and came over, asking, are you crying? very loudly. Sutton gave the standard reply that she had bad allergies. In Garcelle’s interview, she said she thought Sutton was more hormonal than her kids. Sutton said she was upset about the insinuations. It was hard to pretend things were great, and hunky dory when they weren’t. In Kathy’s interview, she wondered if Hunky Dory was someone’s nickname. Sutton told them that she just had moment. By this time, the whole miserable gang was there, and Sutton said Crystal had said a lot of things about her, and she couldn’t sit across the table from her . Garcelle asked what Sutton needed from Crystal; tell Crystal what she needed, so they could move on. Sutton said she thought it was sh*tty that Crystal had used so many words about her. No surprise, Crystal kept interrupting, and Sutton finally told Crystal to let her say her piece. The word violated was crazy to her. She asked what planet Crystal lived on, and Crystal said, not Sutton’s, as she once again looked smug. Garcelle said they weren’t going to get anywhere, and Crystal said she wasn’t changing the word, since she’d used it correctly. Garcelle again asked what Sutton needed, and Kyle said she thought Sutton wanted an apology. Crystal said she was sorry Sutton was upset, and Sutton said that wasn’t an apology, which we all know. It’s like a murderer saying they’re sorry the victim died, leaving out the fact they killed them. Crystal told Sutton to look up the word. It meant abuse of privacy. Is this woman loopy? First of all, I don’t know what dictionary she’s using, but the standard ones don’t exactly put it that way. Secondly, there are plenty of words that have several definitions, but are known by a certain one, gay being a prime example. Garcelle said that Sutton hadn’t known Crystal was naked, and Sutton asked why Crystal was so defensive. Crystal said Sutton was upset because she was jealous – period – and Sutton said, of what? Crystal’s ugly leather pants? I wondered jealous of what too. Sutton said she was out, and Kathy told LisaR, it was her house, so she should get a handle on this. Sutton headed out, asking again what she was jealous of. The rest of the women followed her, except for Crystal, who stood there with her hands in her ugly leather pockets, and smiled.

To be continued…  

Next time, Crystal says she won’t apologize, and calls Sutton an inappropriate, awkward person; Erika deals with the headlines saying her divorce was a sham to hide assets; and Erika says she could have never predicted this effing sh*t.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Leah video chatted with everyone, and said the election was driving everyone nuts. To keep their sanity, she thought they should get out of town. With covid restrictions, they couldn’t really travel, but a place she’d always been fascinated by was Salem, Massachusetts. In Leah’s interview, she said she could be kind of witchy, and was into manifesting. And these women were a bunch of witches. It would be like visiting the motherland. She wanted to do a latex and leather themed dinner party the first night, and told Ramona that she wanted to invite Bershan. In her interview, she said she pretty much wanted to do anything the women wouldn’t normally do.

Ramona met Bershan for lunch, and Bershan wondered if Ramona really had vertigo, or just didn’t like Eboni’s Night in Harlem event. Ramona asked what Bershan thought of it, and Bershan diplomatically said, it was educational. Ramona said, it was a hard sell. In Bershan’s interview, she said she thought it was long winded, but appreciated that Eboni wanted to teach the girls. Bershan told Ramona that she liked the women, and Ramona warned her about them fighting on the trip. She added that they made up, and these women were her core. Bershan said she was in.

In Sonja’s interview, she said she was glad Eboni was trying to set her up with someone. If it had been Ramona or LuAnn… She just shook her head. Sonja told Eboni that she had a hard time getting her words out around the other women because they cut her off, and they didn’t listen. Eboni said, they shut down conversations, and we flashed back to Eboni refusing to let Ramona do that. In her interview, Eboni said she was going to be patient with Ramona, because she’d actually pushed through the panic and was talking to her. She and Ramona were going to be an experiment. She was looking at the trip, not as a do-over, but a do-more.

Sonja and Eboni flew privately to Philadelphia to meet Devyn, Eboni’s matchmaker. In Eboni’s interview, she said Sonja needed to give love a chance again, so she was excited about this introduction. Sonja was afraid her reputation preceded her, but trusted Eboni. Devyn asked what causes Sonja was passionate about, and Sonja said, the vulnerable. No broke-ass men either. In her interview, Eboni said, Sonja married the bank. Where do you go from there? She told Devyn that she thought Sonja was ready for a new chapter. Sonja said she trusted that Eboni had described the real her, not the straw that stirs the drink.

Everyone packed for the trip. LuAnn said since they were going to a haunted house, she needed a good chapeau, and freaked when her assistant put her hats on the bed, which is bad luck. Leah FaceTimed with Sonja and Eboni, telling them to get their asses home and pack. In her interview, Leah said, let’s get out of our comfort zone. Let’s get spooky, bitches. She told them, no sh*t in Salem. They got on the most gigantic bus ever, and Leah said it was rock star style. Sonja thought it was so LuAnn, and they were the groupies. She thought it was getting weird because she’d packed grey and black, and Ramona was wearing those colors. Along with pink, so that was a stretch. LuAnn asked about Sonja’s matchmaking trip, and Sonja said she was ready for commitment. Ramona and Leah took naps, while the others talked about marriage and divorce. Bershan said she found out she had stage 4 breast cancer two weeks before getting married to a British banker. In her interview, she said, she was told she had three months to live, and prayed, telling God she’d be a warrior for everyone on the planet if she survived. When someone tells you, you’re going to die, you wake up. She’d been cancer free for 14 years. Leah said there would be fortune tellers at the leather and latex dinner, as well as tattoo artists, and she’d be getting one. Dinner was going to be at the tattoo shop. In Ramona’s interview, she said she didn’t want to deface her body.

They arrived at the Hawthorne Hotel, named after Nathaniel, which Leah described as spooky, but beautiful. On the way to dinner, Eboni considered the tattoo thing. This was some tattoo parlor. It looked like an upscale antique store, with a restaurant in the back. It was really gorgeous. In her interview, Leah said the women were impressed, and although they had a few days, she felt like she’d already gotten an A+ on the trip. There were a pair of spooky twins that Sonja found cute, and the fortune teller passed out fortunes. The women sat down in a large booth, and Sonja babbled on about how Eboni was new to the group, and had wanted them to understand her life’s work. In LuAnn’s interview, she said Sonja was stirring the cauldron. Eboni said, they couldn’t get to the kiki if she had an outstanding question on whether they’re aligned with white supremacy. Everyone was a little startled, and in Eboni’s interview, she said white supremacy wasn’t the Jim Crow south. In today’s United States, you were either anti-racist or a racist. In Ramona’s interview, she said she didn’t know where Eboni was coming from, since none of them had given any indication of being racist. LuAnn said all of them heard her, but Eboni said LuAnn could only speak for herself. Ramona hadn’t wanted to hear her.

Leah said she thought it was more about Eboni’s personality. When the new woman came in, they got sh*t on. She got sh*t on by Ramona. We flashed back to that. She said, Eboni wasn’t allowing that, and in 14 years, they’d never had a Black woman in their group. Could they imagine the pressure? Every news outlet was talking about it. Ramona said, ignore the press, and Leah told her, STFU. Leah said Ramona lived in a tiny bubble, and Ramona said Leah didn’t know who she was. Leah said Ramona was what’s wrong with the world. Ramona tried to jet, saying, she wasn’t enjoying the conversation. Everyone urged her to stay, and Eboni said she’d come a long way. Ramona sat back down, and Bershan told Eboni her delivery could be harsh. Eboni said she received and heard Bershan, and knew it might feel exhausting. Every MF’ing day, it was something else. Ramona got all animated, and said Eboni had a great life. Eboni told everyone that Ramona was saying something a lot of people say when they see her. In Leah’s interview, she said, no one saw Ramona struggling, but she probably had to deal with some stuff. Triple that, and that’s Eboni. Eboni said that some people aligned with Trump were white supremacists, and in her interview, said, if you support him for economic reasons, say so. You’d get pushback, but she could have a dialog. Ramona woudn’t even go there. Everyone started saying, not me, and Ramona tried to make herself really small, hoping to blend into her seat. Eboni said her mother voted for Trump in 2016, and had her reasons, but she was vocal about it. Ramona slid out, and in her interview, she said she just came for some fun. She didn’t need this. Leah asked if Eboni thought anyone who voted for Trump was a supremist, and Eboni said, no. She just wanted to know where Ramona stood on the issue. That was it. Eboni said she could respect supporting him for tax cut reasons or economics. Leah said Ramona couldn’t have this conversation; she barely knew the English language.

Surprisingly, Ramona came back, but she acted all weird, saying she wanted to play a game, and then making a cheer out of, I want a game. She was also wearing a black latex catsuit, by the way. In Leah’s interview, she said she was cringing. Ramona should have stayed wherever she was. She would probably never live down coming back and doing the I’m white dance. Leah told Ramona that they had to go through this, and Eboni said she was still Black. Ramona said she was sorry she was white. Did Eboni want an apology? Her mother came there with nothing. Leah said, it didn’t matter; this was different. Several of the women scattered, leaving Leah, Eboni, and Bershan. Leah said, and then there were three.

To be continued…

Next time, Ramona does a table dance, the women reenact pioneer days, Eboni gets a tattoo, Bershan says they’re being grandmas, and – big surprise – Sonja overdoes it.

🐶 Bravo had a Vanderpump Dogs marathon, and I love this show so much. They also train service dogs, and match them with owners, so we saw some of that. The dogs are adorable, and the stories, both pup and human, are both heart-wrenching and heartwarming. Some people have negative things to say about LVP, but I have great admiration for her work ethic and her love for dogs, which is more than apparent in this show. I’m also still wondering if she’d consider adopting an older child. My dogs and I wouldn’t take up much space. She’d barely know we were there.

📋 Past Quitting Time…

Wives as promised, and now to bed. Until we meet on the morrow, stay safe, stay engaged, and stay not rebounding so hard, you might as well be on a trampoline.