What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Stella thinks it’s ridiculous. The hospital is discharging Curtis two days after he was shot, when he saved the entire town from that horrible man. Curtis says he thinks Jordan had something to do with that, and she says he already told her. Cyrus threatened Laura, and got Curtis to drop his gun. Then he shot Curtis, and Jordan shot him… in the leg. Too bad she didn’t aim higher. He says that’s not very Christian of her to say, and she says, the Lord may forgive Cyrus, but she doesn’t. He wanted to kill Curtis, and almost succeeded, which is why Curtis should stay there and work on getting himself better. He says the doctors gave him another option. Go back to the MetroCourt, and don’t leave for a few days, so it was really a no brainer. She says he can say that again, and he says if there was any danger in him leaving, he’s sure Portia would have spoken up. It’s funny. He hasn’t seen Portia around all day. In fact, Stella has been his only visitor. Nina comes in, and says maybe she can help with that.

Jordan walks into Cyrus’s hospital room, and he says it’s about time she showed up. She says, for the first time ever, she couldn’t agree more.

Jason walks into the hallowed halls of the moss bowl, otherwise known as Sonny’s kitchen. Carly says, perfect timing, and hands him a cup of coffee. She says after him being in prison and on the run, it’s nice having him just down the hall, and he says he thinks it’s a good idea for him to stay close while they deal with this transition of power. She agrees, and says, it’s much appreciated, but she knows he has other people to see, like Sam and the kids. He says he already set it up, and she says, what about Britt?

Britt asks Elizabeth, who signed off on Curtis Ashford’s release? but Elizabeth is lost in a flashback of finding Peter on the stair landing, and Finn subsequently being attracted to her. She says she’s sorry; what? and Britt says she seems distracted. Is she okay?

Gregory sits with Jackie in the hospital cafeteria, and she says she’s there for the long haul, lifting her coffee cup, and he says him too. She says she realized she needed a moment to just let loose and cry. She couldn’t do that in front of Chase. Make sense? He says it does; he had the same idea. She says, the sobbing or the caffeine? and he says, a little of both.

Chase tells Sasha, he’s sorry it’s not much of a greeting, but she says she’s the one who should be apologizing… to both of them. She should have visited sooner. He says he doesn’t know about that, with her pregnancy and that Cyrus Renault insanity, and she says she sees Willow’s been keeping him up to date. Willow says she’s been trying to keep his spirits up, and he wanted to know how Sasha was doing. Sorry. She should have asked first. Sasha says, don’t be silly; it’s fine. Chase says he should warn Sasha, he and Willow won’t have any more secrets once they’re married.

Anna says she heard Chase isn’t doing so great, and Finn says he thought he had a breakthrough, but the cure he formulated didn’t work. She says she’s sorry, and he says, so is he. She wants him to know she’s going to find Peter, and force him to give up his source of the antidote. Finn says she’s never going to find him.

Nina hugs Curtis, and says it looks like she made it back just in time. He says he assumes she means for the opening of his nightclub, and she says, yeah. No. She mostly wanted to make sure he was okay. She hasn’t been a good friend to him in these past few months. He says, that’s okay; she’s been going through her own stuff. She says he’s always been there for her, and when his marriage with Jordan was ending, where was she? He shouldn’t have had to go through that alone. He says, as it turns out, he wasn’t alone.

Laura asks Portia how she and Trina are doing after that whole ordeal with Cyrus, and she says they’re okay. Laura asks how Curtis is doing, and Portia says, they’re discharging him today. Laura says that’s great news. How are she and Curtis doing? She apologizes if she’s overstepping. She knew Portia had left something unsaid with him right before everything went to hell with Cyrus.

Cyrus says he assumes Portia is there to gloat about his fall from grace, and she says she is. He says, so much for the high road, and she says she can always get back to the high road. He, on the other hand, isn’t going anywhere except prison. He asks if she isn’t putting the cart before the horse. There’s still the small matter of his trial. The Corinthos family and Gladys are hardly the most reliable witnesses. Why should any juror believe any part of their testimony? She says, maybe they will; maybe they won’t. But the jury will sure as hell listen to her testimony.

Jason wonders why Carly is asking about Britt, and she says she saw the way he held Britt’s hand at the MetroCourt. What’s that about? Brando comes in, and asks if it’s a bad time, but Carly says, no, come in. How’s Gladys? Brando says, they’re going to discharge her in a few days, and Carly says, great. So she’ll be going right to Bridgeport. Brando says she’s going to be staying with him for a while. At least until she gets better. Carly says, at least Brando will be able to keep an eye on her, and he says, wish him luck. He tells Jason that he can’t apologize enough for all the trouble his mother caused, but Jason says, it’s on her, not him. Brando says, even so… and Carly says she hates that Gladys lied to the cops and framed Jason, but Gladys did step up and tell the truth. She had to be threatened of course (🍷), but she still did it. Brando thanks her, and says he appreciates that, but it’s not the reason he came by to see her. Jason asks what’s on his mind, and Brando says, now that Cyrus’s organization is falling apart, he thinks it’s time they had a conversation about his future. Hey. I just thought. Who’s been fixing the cars in the garage?

Elizabeth tells Britt, she’s not okay. She’s mourning her husband, and trying to help save Chase’s life. That’s what’s on her mind. Any more questions? Britt says, no, but she is curious as to why Finn requested Elizabeth be put back on his rotation permanently. She leaves.

Anna asks if there’s a particular reason Finn thinks she won’t find Peter, and he says they know Peter is good at covering his tracks. If he doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be found. She promises she won’t stop until she finds out what’s happened with Peter, and he says he knows. Good luck with that. If she’ll excuse him… He leaves.

Chase tells Sasha, he wants to spend what’s left of his life with Willow. Willow says she’s going to get Chase some water. She’ll be right back.

Jackie tells Gregory that she really thought Chase would be okay. Now she’s discussing hospice care for her son. He says, it’s not supposed to be this way. They’re arranging for Chase’s wedding, when he’s on his… No parent should outlive their child. She says she’s sorry. She’s sure she’s the last person he wants sharing his grief, but he says, no matter what happened between them, they raised Chase together. She says, they did a remarkable job, didn’t they? and he says he hates that she lied, but he’s also grateful for it. If she had told the truth, he wouldn’t have spent all those years being Chase’s father. He wouldn’t trade a second of that. Whatever happens next, he wants her to know that they’ll always be a family.

Elizabeth and Finn literally run into each other, and they both apologize. He says, about last night. He’s an idiot and he’s sorry. She says, nothing happened. It’s fine. He thanks her, and she says, besides, they have more important things to deal with. He says he still can’t believe he killed Peter. She pulls him aside, and says, she’s speaking as Franco’s widow; he had it coming. He says, Peter was the only one who could keep Chase alive, but she says, that’s not true. He can save Chase. He says he tried; he only made Chase worse. She says, did he cure Blackwood’s on the first try? No. So keep trying. I say, good point. He says, it should have worked. His DNA combined with Jackie’s should have made Chase’s body accept the cure. He was so sure this was the answer, and now everything seems so hopeless. She says, it’s not. He’s Chase’s father and a good doctor. As long as there’s a breath left in Chase’s body, there’s still hope.

Anna asks if Britt has a minute, and Britt asks if there’s any news about Peter. Anna says, no, but she could use Britt’s help. She requested security footage from the night Maxie was brought in, but security is refusing to hand it over. Britt says she thinks she knows what’s going on. Rumor has it, when Cyrus was appointed Chairman of the Board, he arranged to have the cameras in the stairwells turned off. The security team is probably covering their butts now that Cyrus is out. Anna says, since this happened before Cyrus was arrested, the cameras were still off. It would explain why there’s no record of Peter leaving that night.

Nina says she’s super glad that someone was there to give Curtis support. Who was this person, so she can thank them? He says his Aunt Stella for one, and Stella says, she was all the way in Europe. He says, there was Laura, and his nephew TJ. He’s not short on people who care about him. Stella says he isn’t, and since she can’t convince him to stay in the hospital like a sensible person, she might as well get his paperwork started. She says it’s good to see Nina, and leaves. Nina says, still a tough customer, and Curtis says, the toughest. Nina says she’s sure he wasn’t talking about Stella when he said he didn’t have to go through his divorce alone. He says he and Portia have gotten a lot closer, and she says, how close? He says Portia kissed him, and he pushed her away. Nina says, there’s no shame in not being ready to move on, and he says he thought he was. Now he thinks he missed his chance.

Laura apologizes, telling Portia that it’s none of her business, but Portia says, she and Curtis had a really good talk. Laura says she’s glad they had a chance to clear things up, and Portia flashes back to Stella telling her, the last thing Curtis needs is a rebound relationship, and if she wants what’s best for Curtis, she’ll back off. Portia tells Laura, they did, and she and Curtis agreed that their friendship is too important to risk.

Jordan tells Cyrus that she and Taggert have already been in touch with the DA’s office, and he says, she’s going to perjure herself a second time? She says, not only are they going to drop all the charges against Taggert, they granted her full immunity. All they have to do is testify about everything Cyrus did to them in the last year. She hates to break it to him, but he’s done.

Sasha follows Willow, and Willow asks if Chase needs her. Sasha says, Chase is resting. She’s there about Willow. Why is she getting married? Willow says, if Chase is dying, she wants to make sure he’s happy when he leaves this world. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sasha says, except for one thing. Willow is in love with Michael.

Britt tells Anna, she doesn’t think Peter could have made it out of the building. Once he exited the stairwell, he would have been caught on camera. Anna asks, what about the roof? and Britt says, they do have two stairwells with roof access. Anna says, which ones? and Britt says, C and G. Anna says, so if Cyrus was moving drugs out of here, he could have easily transported them in a Medivac, and no one would have been the wiser. Britt asks if she thinks Peter made it to the roof, and left by helicopter. Anna says she doesn’t know, but it’s worth finding out.

Cyrus says if Jordan were to testify about everything that’s gone down between them this year, she’d have to include her own cover-ups. She says she knows; that’s what the immunity deal is for. He says, immunity or not, all of it will be a matter of public record. Her reputation would be a shambles. She says, so be it. Her secrets may have cost her marriage, but they will never come at the expense of justice. Never again. He just played his last hand against her, and he lost.

Brando says he’s been inside Cyrus’s organization for nearly a year. He knows the ins and outs. Then the moss bowl swallows him whole. Not really. Carly says, now that Jason’s back, she doesn’t plan on having an active role in the business. Brando says he thought that might be the case, but he didn’t want to assume. So what does Jason say? Jason tells him, he would say Brando has a baby on the way, and he’s all set up at the garage. If Brando thinks that’s going away because Sonny’s gone, it won’t. Carly says, he is family, and Brando says he hears what they’re saying, but the last few days, as dangerous as they’ve been, are the first time he felt he’s been making a difference since his last tour. He wants to keep making a difference… with his family. Jason says he gets it, but Brando’s family isn’t just them. If he were Brando, he’d take a long, hard look at what’s not only best for him, but for Sasha and the baby.

Curtis tells Nina that Portia explained she wasn’t thinking clearly, and she wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship. Nina asks if he bought that, and he says, that’s what she told him, and he has to respect that. She says he has to respect that, but did he talk to her? He says their 30 seconds was up about 30 seconds ago, so besides her touching concern for yours truly, why doesn’t she – he sits on the bed and pats the spot next to him – tell him what brought her back? She sits, and says, as it turns out, Michael and Willow reconsidered letting her have a relationship with Wiley. She had a visit with him and it was wonderful. He says he’s happy for her. Does this mean she’s going to stay? She guesses for a little while, but she’s been away from Nixon Falls for just a day, and she misses it. He says he thinks getting away was good for her; a chance to clear her head. She remembers kissing Sonny, and says she’s not so sure about that.

Willow tells Sasha that she loves Chase, and Sasha says she knows Willow does, but she’s in love with Michael. Willow tells her, Brook said the same thing, but they’re both wrong. Sasha says, okay, but tell her, if Chase hadn’t gotten sick, would they be getting married? Would they even still be together? Willow says, Chase is sick, so none of that really matters. She can put what she wants on hold, so Chase can have some semblance of happiness when he dies. All she truly needs from Sasha right now, is her support. Sasha says Willow has it, and hugs her.

Finn goes to Chase’s room, where he sees Jackie and Gregory. Chase says, just in time. The whole family is here. Finn asks how he’s feeling, and Chase says, trying to stay strong. He begins to cough, and Jackie grabs some tissues so he isn’t coughing all over the place. Sasha and Willow show up, and Finn puts an oxygen mask on Chase, telling him, breathe. Just breathe.

Cyrus says, Jordan, of all people, should know better than to underestimate him. He has ways of influencing things, even when he’s not a free man. She says she’s sure his attorneys have informed him that he won’t be going back to Pentenville, and he asks if she really thinks that’s going to keep her safe, sending him to another prison. She says, after speaking with the FBI, they agreed the best place for him was a Federal penitentiary in the Midwest. Far away from his contacts in the Pacific Northeast, and in Port Charles. Two uniformed men come in, and Cyrus says, what’s this? Jordan says, it’s for his own safety. These agents are going to be transferring him to the infirmary in his new home. He has a long recovery ahead of him, but think of it this way, these days, he has nothing but time on his hands.

Carly tells Jason, she needed a show of force to send a message to the Five Families polenta, so they would honor their agreement with Sonny’s organization, and not try anything against them. Was she wrong? He says, no. It’s exactly the move he would have made. She says, great. This whole year has been turned upside down. It’s been crazy. She’s doing things she never thought she’d do, and making decisions she never thought she’d make. He says that makes two of them, and she says, sometimes, it feels like Sonny’s been gone a lifetime, and other times, it’s like he’s right here.

Nina says Portia kissed Curtis, and he didn’t respond the way she wanted him to respond. Does he think Portia is reacting because of the way he reacted when she kissed him? He says, what if she is? What is he supposed to do? She says, tell her how he feels. There’s nothing disrespectful for expressing himself. Stella comes to the door, and listens through the opening. He says, Portia was right there by his side when he woke up. He doesn’t know if it was the anesthesia or the blood loss, but there was something there. Then just like that, the vibe was gone.

Portia wants to start Chase on dialysis, and increase his dopamine, along with some <insert big medical word> hydrations. Elizabeth says she’ll get his chart, and Portia tells Chase, it will make him more comfortable. She asks to speak with Finn outside, but Chase wants to know, how bad? Finn nods to Portia, who says she’d have to do more testing to confirm, but it looks like they’re quickly approaching Stage 3 something-or-other. Gregory asks what that means, and I say, thank you. Finn says, complete organ failure, and Chase asks, how much time? Portia says, there are statistics, but no definitive answer, and Chase tells Finn, ballpark. How long? Finn says Chase needs to fight, or he may not make it through the night. I’m just going to say it. Maybe Finn isn’t his father after all, and that’s why the cure didn’t work. I’ve been thinking that through the whole episode.

While being wheeled through the hall, Cyrus sees Laura. He says, if they don’t mind, this is his sister. Could they have a moment? Laura says, it’s fine, and Cyrus says, in private? Jordan says they’re not going anywhere, and he says, it didn’t hurt to ask. He says he’s glad he and Laura ran into each other. He was afraid they wouldn’t cross paths before he left. She says, it probably goes without saying, but the hospital Board is in the process of stripping him of his position at the hospital. He says he’s sure it fills her with great joy, but she says, no. It doesn’t actually. She thinks it’s incredibly sad. He could have used this place to help so many people. To undo some of the damage he caused, but no. He squandered it, just like he’s squandered so many other opportunities to change his life, even with his own family. He says he sees she and his brother are talking again. How nice to have family. She says, the one good thing to come out of this was finding Martin. They’ll have their hurdles, but they’ll get over them. But the two of them, they’ll never be family. He says, it’s too late. He’s already gotten in her head. The darkness that already exists inside her has been reignited. He, for one, can’t wait to see what kind of changes are in store for her. The next time their paths cross, perhaps she’ll finally embrace some of the many fine qualities they have in common. Let’s go. As he’s wheeled away, Laura worries over his words.

Stella goes into Curtis’s room, and says his discharge papers are there. If he still wants to put his health and safety at risk to order room service. Nina says she’s going to let them get to this, and she’s penciled Curtis in. She’s going to be his room service tomorrow, and she’s going to bring him dinner. No excuses. He asks if it’s a metaphorical pencil, or has she full embraced the homespun, folksy lifestyle of rural Pennsylvania? She says, to think she missed all this, and they laugh. She tells Stella that it was nice to see her, and Stella says, her too. She tells Curtis that she’ll see him tomorrow night, and leaves. Stella says she had hoped he moved out of the MetroCourt by now. For a hotel, there’s nothing better, but a hotel is not a home. He says he’d planned on finding his own place soon, but he was so busy with the launch of the club, he didn’t have time. She says, allow her to save him that time.

Portia says, Dr. Finn is correct. That’s the accurate timetable, but she can’t stress this enough. He’s not a statistic. This isn’t over till it’s over. Finn says he’s sorry, and Chase says, for what? Finn says, for not being able to save him. Chase says Finn did what he could, and he’ll always be grateful that Finn tried. Finn says, don’t ever give up. Hear me? Don’t ever give up. Finn jets, and Sasha stands in the hallway looking worried.

Britt goes to the reception desk, and says she wants to apologize to Elizabeth for earlier. Elizabeth is surprised, and Britt laughs, saying, and she wants to make things right. Now that Cyrus is gone, she’s bringing Elizabeth back full time. Elizabeth thanks her, and Britt says, it’s long overdue. For what it’s worth (🍷), she’s going to make sure the hospital cooperates fully in Anna’s search for Peter. Elizabeth asks if Anna thinks he’s still in the hospital, and Britt says, Anna thinks if she can figure out how he got out of the hospital, she can find him. In fact, she’s on the roof right now.

Anna goes out onto the roof, and looks around. She notices a garbage can up against a wall.

Jason says Carly took Sonny’s seat at the meeting, and Carly says, it went really well. She did great. He says he doesn’t doubt that, but he’s back, and it’s not clear who’s in charge. They don’t know; is it her, or is it him? She says, maybe they’re both in charge, and he says the other families are going to be watching how this plays out. If they play it wrong, they look weak. She asks how they handle it right, when his phone rings. It’s Britt, who tells him, at this very moment, Cyrus is being transferred out of the hospital by the Feds. His reign of terror there, and apparently everywhere, is finally over. Jason says, that’s good, and she says, from anyone else, that reaction would be disappointing. From him, she knows that’s his version of a shout of triumph. She guesses her time as his mole is over, and he says he guesses so. She says, so if they’re going to see each other, it will have to be because they want to. He guesses it is. He hangs up, and Carly says, Britt again? What’s going on?

Stella tells Curtis, as luck would have it, her place on Charles Street has been empty for over a year. Stay there; she insists. He says he would love that, and she says she has to fly back to London tomorrow morning. He says, already? and she says just to make some arrangements before she moves back to Port Charles. He says she doesn’t have to do all that; he can take care of himself. She tells him, who says it’s all about him? Did it ever occur to him that she might have business in Port Charles of her own?

Jordan says Laura can’t listen to Cyrus. Believe her, she learned it the hard way. Blood or no blood, Laura is not like that man. Laura thanks her, and says she knows Jordan’s right. Jordan says she knows how hard it is to shake it off, and Laura says she’ll find a way, but she’s so grateful this nightmare is behind them. Jordan says, actually, there is one more thing that needs to be done before she, Laura, and the city can put Cyrus behind them. Laura says, what’s that? and Jordan says she needs to tender her resignation.

Jackie goes into the hallway, closing Chase’s door, and goes over to Finn by the elevator. He says he can’t talk right now, but she tells him not to spend another moment blaming himself. Finn says he should have saved Chase. The elevator doors open, and no surprise, Cyrus is there. He says, Ms. Templeton. Dr. Finn? He’s so sorry to hear about Finn’s son. It must be a great relief though, that the truth about his paternity came out in time for Finn to bond with him before he passes. (How would Cyrus know Chase was dying? Just asking.) Jackie says hell is too good a place for him. Enjoy it anyway. He waves as the doors close, and Jackie says, when you think that man couldn’t sink any lower. Finn is staring into space, thinking, why didn’t it work? Where did I go wrong? Jackie gets his attention, and asks, what is it? and he dashes off.

Gregory tells Chase, they’re not giving up hope, no matter what. Chase asks to see Willow, and Gregory says, of course (🍷). He’ll be right outside. He leaves, and Willow sits on the bed. Chase says he’s glad they got their marriage license yesterday. He wants her to marry him, right here, right now.

Elizabeth flashes back to sitting with Finn after finding Peter’s body. Finn says Peter told him it would be Anna’s fault if Chase dies. It turns out it’s going to be his. She tells him, it’s Peter’s fault. This is on him. Finn was always Chase’s best chance at survival, but can’t cure him from behind bars. Elizabeth asks if Finn sees the camera, and he says he hadn’t until now, but she says, it’s turned off. Rumor has it, Renault had the cameras turned off so he could get drugs out of the hospital. You know what this means? They can move Peter without anyone finding out. He says, to where? Even if they could get him down the stairs, they’d be caught on camera trying to get him out of the hospital. She says, that’s why they’re not taking him out of the hospital. Does Finn remember years ago, when Ava and Julian’s crazy sister abducted Griffin Monroe? He says, she kept him in some abandoned section of the hospital, and she says, the subbasement lab. He asks if that wasn’t sealed off, and she says the only access is an elevator on the roof, and that’s been out of commission for years. We see them packing up Peter’s body into a large cooler, and she says they can keep him in the lab until everyone believes he’s out of the country. When the eyes are off the hospital, they can move him. Finn says, that could be a long time from now, and she says, no one has even thought about the subbasement elevator for years. They close the cooler.

Anna goes over to the garbage can, and moves it. She slides a piece of accordion metal over, and sees the service elevator door, with a sign that says, danger. She tries the door handle, but it’s locked.

Tomorrow, Jordan tenders her resignation, Finn says he thinks he knows why his treatment didn’t work, Obrecht asks what Jason’s intentions are in regard to Britt, and Carly says something is going to be a problem for Britt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

In a voiceover, Erika said there were so many layers to the divorce. It was very complicated. She was sure everyone was shocked, and would have a lot of questions. Everyone said they didn’t see it coming, and we flashed forward to Erika saying she’d intended to hold that man’s hand until he died.

We moved to three days earlier. Kyle and Mauricio got ready for their election party, and in Kyle’s interview, she said she made it a rule not to discuss politics, but was the most important election ever. This time, a woman was on the ticket for VP, and Kyle had four daughters. She told Mauricio that Garcelle wasn’t coming, since she was with her boys, and Erika also wasn’t coming. Both Kyle and Dorit whined to their respective husbands about how Dorit had been talking with Crystal on the plane back from Tahoe, and Kyle butted into the conversation. Dorit, who had been mid-sentence, firmly told Kyle to let her finish, and Kyle started crying like a big baby. Kyle thought if it had been anyone else who chimed in, Dorit wouldn’t have said anything. She might be right, since Dorit has taken issue with Kyle about this in the past, but the answer is, don’t do it then.

Rob asked how Crystal was feeling about her issues with Sutton, and Crystal said she hadn’t spent a bunch of time analyzing it, but she’d never experienced someone being so rude to her. Apparently, she’s been very lucky in life. There was so much stress about the election, it was hard for her to believe people were being so petty. Is it me? Sutton hadn’t been aware it was a big deal in the first place, and then apologized. Who’s being petty here? When they got to the party, Rob seemed anxious to start drinking, and I didn’t blame him. In honor of the occasion, Dorit wore her rhinestone VOTE barrettes, as well as a plaid suit that could have been out of Clueless. In Kyle’s interview, she said Dorit had missed the memo on red, white, and blue attire. Sutton wore another crazy dress that looked like something from Danceteria in the 80s. In her interview, she said she was being polite, since she was walking on crystal thin ice. LisaR looked great, in a wig named Barbie, but I can’t stand her, so that was a wash.

Of course it was an amazing spread. One hors d’oeuvres tray had little succulents mixed in for decoration, which I thought was a very cool idea. Erika’s pending divorce was discussed, and in LisaR’s interview, she talked about how much fun they had the night they went to dinner at Erika and Tom’s place. We flashed back to that, and LisaR said there had been no sign of anything leading to divorce. Everyone seemed equally surprised, and in Kyle’s interview, she said she wasn’t judging <choke>, but she thought she and Erika were closer than that. The husbands wisely gathered together, having a separate party on the back deck. As usual, they seemed to be having a lot more fun. Kyle asked if Sutton and Crystal were okay after Tahoe, and they both said they were fine, but then Crystal mentioned that she’d lost five pounds during the trip. Kathy was like, upside! but Crystal said she had an eating disorder. She told the women it was under control, and I wasn’t sure if she was attributing her backslide or whatever to Sutton, but she said it was Indicative of how she felt about the trip. In her interview, she said it wasn’t a relapse, but happened because she was stressed. She said she’d been bulimic at 11 years old, but she wasn’t suffering on the daily about it. LisaR yapped in her interview about how brave Crystal was.

Kyle asked to speak with Dorit, or maybe it was the other way around. It really doesn’t matter. In Kyle’s interview, she said it wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation. On top of it, it had been in the exact same room, and we flashed back to that. She said she couldn’t keep doing it every couple of months. I have a suggestion then. Quit interrupting Dorit. Kyle told Dorit that she just wanted to say one thing. Dorit had screamed at her, and she thought Dorit wouldn’t have the same reaction if it had been someone else. Dorit said Kyle interrupted her a lot, and it was as if Kyle didn’t feel that what Dorit had to say had as much value. She’d been mid-sentence. Kyle asked if Dorit wanted a friendship with her, and if she did, don’t talk to her like that again. Dorit said Kyle had told her, f*** you, last year when she’d asked her not to interrupt. Kyle made the excuse that it was a heated moment and didn’t count. They’d been on the plane, and Kyle had been waiting for an in to the conversation, trying to be respectful, since she’d heard Dorit the last time. Dorit said then they were good, and got up. Kyle said if they were good, why was Dorit leaving, and Dorit said because she was done.

Dorit told PK that she wanted to leave immediately, if not sooner, saying she wanted to see her parents who were in town. In her interview, she said she’d come because Kyle was her friend, but she’d wanted to see her parents. If she was going to be treated like this, she was ready to go. On way back, PK said he thought they’d be considered rude, but Dorit said friends didn’t treat each other like Kyle was treating her. Back at Kyle’s house, they all agreed the election was too early to call, and LisaR said it had been an anticlimactic evening. Probably because there was no real drama.

Sutton took Garcelle to go Bentley shopping, and had the dealership closed for them. Garcelle asked what the vibe was, and Sutton said she was looking for a convertible. Garcelle inquired as to the price, which was $380K. Since Garcelle hadn’t been at Kyle’s party, Sutton told her that Erika hadn’t come either. In Garcelle’s interview, she said when her life unraveled, she didn’t want talk about, so she understood why Erika didn’t show up. They went on a test drive, and Garcelle said Sutton was making a lot of changes. Sutton wondered if she was having a mid-life crisis. In her interview, Sutton said it was the first car she’d ever bought without asking permission. At Crystal’s house, Rob said he’d talked to Sutton, and she’d been nothing but nice. We saw a clip when they found out they had Jennifer Tilly in common as a friend. In Crystal’s interview, she said Rob was nicer than she was. I have no doubt about that. The kids wanted to play mahjong, and in her interview, Crystal said she and Rob had totally different styles of parenting. She was the hard ass, and he was the coddler. Again, no surprise. Every week Rob also showed the kids a movie from the 40s, and it was something special for them. She wasn’t invited, but made the popcorn. Sure, she’s probably a wet blanket. Rob said LisaR had called Crystal brave for discussing her eating disorder, and Crystal said she’d always felt chubby growing up. She’d wanted to be blonde, blue-eyed, and skinny.

Kathy and Kyle visited Sutton’s store, aptly, but unoriginally named Sutton. In her interview, Kyle said they’d gotten made fun of for wearing mom jeans, and now they were cool. She couldn’t keep up. She thought they were ugly, but had to wear them since they were in fashion. In Sutton’s interview, she said she was desperate to give a party in her house. In Kyle’s interview, she said, it was technically her house, but Sutton was leasing it. Sutton told them she’d decided on a Parisian theme, and Erika’s pending divorce was discussed. Sutton wondered if she should find out if Erika was coming, and Kyle suggested she send a text. Erika replied that she’d be there, and in her interview, Sutton said when she was going through her divorce, she took every invitation as an opportunity to get out of the house and into the world.

#WhatDidHarryDo. This time, it was gardening. In LisaR’s interview, she said they’d decided they needed a garden, since it could be pandemonium at any moment with lockdown going on. Harry googled, how to make a garden, and their house had become sustainable. Harry tried to explain to LisaR that the composter made fertilizer, but no, he didn’t put poop in it. In her interview, she said anything Harry did turned to gold. Harry decided it was time for a fire drill, and made LisaR run around with a gigantic hose that would be hooked to the pool had there been a real fire. In her interview, LisaR said there was a fine line between quirky and paranoid, but let him have his garden and tacky-ass pool. If it meant saving the house, he was usually right. She told Harry that she’d talked to Erika, who seemed to be doing all right. Harry said, the first time, his divorce was acrimonious, but the next time, he said, take whatever you want. In LisaR’s interview, she said they’d met at the tail end of Harry’s second divorce, and she did get emotional baggage from it.

In Sutton’s interview, she said she was missing Paris Fashion Week, so she wanted to take everyone on a trip to Paris in her house. Kyle visited Crystal for a tea kiki beforehand, and couldn’t stop focusing on Crystal’s $95K Hermes bag. She suggested sending it in a separate car, and in her interview, Kyle said all she could see was the bag. When they got to Sutton’s house, Kyle said she was used to opening the door from the other side herself, and we flashed back to a party where LVP brought a llama. Kyle said she’d never gone to a party there where she wasn’t he hostess, and I wondered if she’s going to carp on this until Sutton moves out. Kyle told Sutton that it was beautiful and cozy, and it was making her want to move back in. As expected, in Kyle’s interview she said it was interesting seeing someone else’s take. Sutton had her own unique style and flavor, and Kyle loved it, but hers was lovelier. I thought this was a whole bunch of words to say Kyle thinks Sutton has sh*t taste compared to her own.

In the most amusing moment, LisaR showed up in the same dress Kyle was wearing. At least she didn’t screech like that time with Garcelle and Erika, when they were all wearing the same pink blazer/dress. In Kyle’s interview, she said LisaR had done that too many times with too many people, and we flashed back to a few times when LisaR was a twinsey. In Garcelle’s interview, she was excited about the election, saying the country had been divided, and needed some sanity. Little girls would see themselves in a candidate that was half-Black/half-Asian. Erika’s pending divorce was discussed, and Garcelle said she didn’t see that coming. She’d felt the love. In her interview, she said she felt Erika admired and was proud of Tom, and they had a good life. She thought Erika was in it for the long haul. Dorit said Erika would share when she was comfortable, and Garcelle said she was shocked no one knew. The last time she and Erika had spoken, she and Tom seemed on solid ground, and she wondered if Erika shouldn’t just wait. LisaR said, for what? and Garcelle said, well, they’d been married this long… In Sutton’s interview, she said that could backfire, since people were living to 100 now.    

The episode ended with Erika coming to the door, and walking in.

To be continued…

🐕 Vanderpump Dogs is just precious. LVP told us, if loving a dog makes you crazy, she guessed there was no hope for her. We learned about the rescue, which was created in 2016. She said there was no other like it, with its velvet couches, pink chandeliers, and living rooms for dogs. The goal was to get them healthy and trained, and teach them to play well with others. She wanted to make them feel like VIPs – LVP’s VIPs. The groomer explained that his job consisted of high-priced shampoo, marshmallow fluff, and going places no one else goes. Main vet on-call, Dr. Andrew, also had experience as a reptile physician. After introducing us to all things Vanderpump Dogs, it was time for matchmaking dogs with owners, which included potential owners spending some play time with potential adoptees. LVP said it was like the dating process. You had to have foreplay before going all the way. There was a dog trainer who took a senior pup with Cushing’s Disease, and also couple Matt and Shannon, who were looking for another pup for their cuddle puddle. They were introduced to Mary, three-legged Hermie, and Larry, who once again proved that dogs are the great leveler. They don’t care who you are, and will always embarrass you. Mary made poopie during playtime, and Hermie refused to go up the stairs, after LVP had bragged about this accomplishment. The couple chose Larry (not because of the other’s faux pas, or paws as it were), and Matt told LVP that he wanted to throw in a proposal to Shannon when Larry was brought to his forever home. After a home check and approval, LVP accompanied Larry, who had an engagement ring attached to his collar.

Shannon said yes, and LVP said it was a storybook ending. Vanderpump Dogs was Giggy’s legacy, and they’d found homes for over 2000 dogs so far. If they could accomplish something like that, it was why they were here. We saw the adoptees in their forever homes, where they were both adored and happy. Not a big shock that I loved this show.

💰 Hot Topic…

Erika’s pending divorce is discussed. Surprisingly, by Erika.

https://people.com/tv/rhobh-erika-girardi-addresses-her-divorce-from-tom-girardi/

Rut-roh.

https://people.com/tv/erika-girardi-attorneys-withdraw-from-representing-her-after-documentary-legal-troubles/

👓 We Don’t Care Who You Know…

You can’t blame a girl for trying. I guess.

https://people.com/tv/rhoslcs-jen-shah-claims-police-used-trickery-to-get-her-to-talk-in-fraud-case/

🍊 Changes…

The ins and outs in Orange County.

https://www.etonline.com/heather-dubrow-tells-andy-cohen-shes-mildly-terrified-about-her-rhoc-return-167439

👜 Wearing It Like a Purse…

I’m sure Heather thinks she’s sincere, but it wasn’t a good look. She did say on Watch What Happens Live that, as far as the race baiter issue goes, she’d liked the wrong comment.  

https://screenrant.com/heather-thomson-quit-rhony-alleged-embarrassment/

👶🏻 We’ll See How Tall the Baby Is…

Dani got a surprise after the season ended, but we don’t know if it was also a souvenir from the season.

https://people.com/parents/below-deck-sailing-yacht-dani-soares-says-her-babys-father-wants-nothing-to-do-with-it/

🥀 No Roses Here…

I’m no big fan of The Bachelor – I get too embarrassed for the contestants losing every shred of dignity – but I did love Leave It to Lamas.

🐶 It’s Only Right…

Also on subject of dogs, I was thrilled to see a Pekingese win this year’s Westminster Dog Show. Meet Wasabi.

https://www.dailypaws.com/pet-news-entertainment/dog-shows/westminster-dog-show-2021-pekingese-wasabi-best-in-show

✈️ Preparing For Landing…

It’s that time again, so see you tomorrow for soap and some really high-priced real estate. Until Ryan renovates, stay safe, stay good-hearted, and stay never believing you’re a statistic.