What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason thanks Epiphany for coming, and she says she didn’t have a choice. One minute, she’s informed that Jason checked out against doctor’s orders, and the next there’s a car waiting for her and it drives her here. What’s going on? He says one of her patients needs help. She sees Taggert lying on a bed.

Sonny looks in on Ned and Brook. Olivia says she’d asked to be notified when Brook woke up. Thank God she was there when Brook opened eyes. Sonny hopes Brook knows something about Wiley’s abduction, and Olivia says she prays Brook can help find him.

Ned tells Brook, don’t try to talk; just listen. He loves her, and was praying she’d wake up, so he could make sure she knows. He’s sorry for saying the things he said, and throwing her out of the house. He was wrong. She’s his daughter, and he loves her. That’s all that matters now. Brook flashes back to telling Nelle that she’s going to call the cops, and that Nelle is going back to prison where she belongs.

Nina and Willow play backgammon. Nina asks how it’s going for Willow at the Quartermaines. Is the bickering driving her crazy? Willow says, it’s not too terrible. They’re still on their best behavior, and trying not to shock her. Wouldn’t it be nice if the worst thing she had to worry about was the Quartermaines bickering? The doorbell rings, and Nina says she’ll get that. It’s Jax, who says he thought he’d find Nina there. Willow comes out, and he asks if there’s any news about Wiley. She says there’s an update on the alert with Nelle’s alias.

Michael says, Nelle was just waiting for a chance to snatch Wiley and run. She doesn’t love Wiley. She doesn’t know the meaning of the word love, and sees Wiley as a prize, not a child. The moment Wiley becomes a burden, God knows what she’ll do.

Chase tells his men to keep the patrol on the backroads, and roads going to the northern border. Sasha comes into the station, and says she heard about Nelle taking Wiley. Chase says someone broke into the Quartermaine mansion, chloroformed Monica, and Wiley was stolen. She tells Michael, she’s so sorry. Michael says they’re going to find him. They have to.

The woman tells Nelle, her little boy is a cutie. What’s his name? Nelle says, Will, and I still can’t believe for such a scheming manipulator, she couldn’t come up with something that wasn’t so close to his real name. She tells the woman, he’s a light sleeper, and the car is the only thing that will keep him sleeping. She gets in the car, and the woman tells her, keep below 30. The roads are marked, but there are blind turns. If she goes more than two miles, she’s missed the Occidental, and will have to turn around or drive for hours. Nelle says she’ll look out for it, and pulls out. The woman says, if you miss it, hon, you’ll be driving all night. Her wrist thing beeps, and she says, dear Lord, another alert about some poor missing… Oh my God. It was her. She knows it’s that poor little boy.

Sasha says she saw the alert, and asks if Willow is there, but Michael says she’s at home. He said he’d call if anything came up, but so far, there hasn’t been anything. An officer found Nelle’s cell phone in the bushes a few feet away from the car. She’d abandoned it, but if she’s kept a tracker on the car, it could indicate where they’re going or who’s helping her.

Sonny asks Olivia if there’s been any word on Dante, but she says, no. He still hasn’t reached out. Sonny says, he will. Someday when he’s healed. She says she believes that, and Sonny says he believes Dante may be struggling, but he’s strong, and won’t give up on the people he loves or himself. Olivia says, he’s right. Dante is strong, and will never give up. Now there’s Brook.

Ned tells Brook, Olivia tried to tell him that the family isn’t a corporation. He knows that, of course (🍷). He allowed himself to lose sight of that, and got caught up in ELQ and his decisions. He lost track of the most important thing int the world – his child. He was wrong, and couldn’t bear it if her last memory of him was shutting the door in her face. Brook flashes back to saying she can’t wait for Nelle to be hauled off in front of all the people at the Nurses Ball and the viewers at home. She remembers Nelle knocking the phone out of her hand, and her saying, no worries. Mac is there, and can arrest her himself. Nelle picks up the shears when Brook’s back is turned, and says she’s sorry, and asks Brook to pretend she didn’t see or hear her. Brook says, save it, bitch. She’s messed with her last Quartermaine. Ned tells Brook, what he’s trying to say is, he’s sorry. Brook gets distressed, and he asks if she’s okay. He tells her to lie still, goes to the hallway, and asks for somebody to get a doctor. Olivia runs off.

Epiphany says Taggert’s blood pressure is stabilized, and his blood loss isn’t severe. He’s a lucky man. Jason asks if she’s going to report it to the police, but she says, how is she supposed to report the shooting of a dead man? Jason guesses Taggert faked his death to protect his family from Cyrus, and she says, how is she supposed to know? He says Taggert couldn’t have pulled it off without help. He knows it must have been difficult for her to talk to Trina, who was grieving when Taggert wasn’t dead, but he also knows she wouldn’t have supported it without good reason. He’s grateful. She says, good. He’s come to her from time to time over the years, like tonight, requesting her help, no questions asked. The point is, he’s not the only one with secrets. She respects his privacy, and expects him to respect hers. What she knew, what she did, and why she did it, is her business, not his. He says, understood, and she says she’s given him a lot of leeway. Mostly because she knows if she ever needs him, he’ll be there, no questions asked. She asks if his driver is waiting, and Jason says, he’s outside. She says, good. She expects he’ll make sure Taggert finds a way safely out of Port Charles. He says, yes, and she says he did good calling her. At the door, she almost says something else, but keeps going. I’m really hoping they give Epiphany more storyline soon. I’ve been waiting for an eternity.

Ned tells Brook, don’t try to talk. There will be plenty of time after, when she’s healed. Sonny comes in, and says, they can take the girl out of Brooklyn, but they can’t take Brooklyn out of the girl. Ned tells him not to cause Brook any stress. They’ll find out later who did this when she’s stronger. Olivia suggests they wait until the doctor has a chance to look at her. Sonny approaches Brook’s bed, and says he doesn’t want to bother her, but his grandson Wiley was kidnapped. She doesn’t have to talk. Just nod her head, yes or no. Was it Nelle who attacked her? She nods.

Nina says, it must have been Nelle, and Willow says they know the attack happened backstage. Nelle was supposed to perform, but never did. Brook probably overheard or tried to stop her. Jax says, there’s a possibility it’s not related, and tells them not to jump to conclusions. Willow says, at least Brook is at the hospital, surrounded by family and an expert medical staff. Wiley is all alone with Nelle, and she’s gotten a head start. Jax says, she’s traveling with a toddler, and has to stop for gas, food, and to change diapers. There’s a missing child alert, and he doesn’t think it will be long before someone puts two and two together. It’s just a matter of time.

Chase says, Nelle’s phone is locked. He’ll have a tech look at it. Michael asks how long it will take, and Chase says, there’s no way to predict. Michael says, let him look. Chase is hesitant, but Michael says, when you live with someone, you get to know them and what matters to them. Let him try.

Nelle tells Wiley, that woman never shut up. The sacrifices she makes for him. At least she told them out to get back on the highway, and she’s gotten him away from Michael and Willow. They deserve each other, but they don’t deserve him. He belongs with her.

Michael says, please, and I say, oh come on, Chase. Chase hands over the phone, and Michael messes with it. Carly comes in, and sees Sasha. She thanks Sasha for being concerned about Wiley, and Sasha says, Wiley is a wonderful little boy. She doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a stepmom, even if things didn’t unfold like they did, but she cares about him and Michael. Michael is a good person, and a good dad. Carly says she knows what it cost for Sasha to make sure Michael got custody, and Sasha says she prays to God it all works out.

Michael tells Chase, no good. He could have sworn it was Wiley’s birthday. Chase says, careful. A few more tries and he’ll get locked out.

Ned tells Sonny, sorry; he didn’t know. Olivia wonders why Nelle would attack Brook, and Sonny says, she tried to call Michael before the attack. He’s sorry to bother her, but is that why she tried to call? Brook nods, and Sonny says, to warn him about Nelle? She nods again, and Sonny asks, is that why Nelle tried to silence her? She nods, and looks like she wants to cry. Sonny asks if there’s anything more, and she nods. He asks for a pencil and paper, and Olivia gives it to Brook. Sonny says, she can do it, and Brook is shaky, but tries to write.

Brook has hard time writing, and Epiphany comes in. She asks, what’s going on? What are they all doing there? The doctor with her says, everyone out. Sonny says give him one minute, but Epiphany says, him too. Brook is in ICU for a reason. Visitors will have to wait. They leave, and the doctor tells Brook, he’s Dr. Fisher. He did her surgery. She’s a tough patient. She did great, but has to give herself time to recover. He can’t stress enough not to try and speak. She could do greater harm to her vocal chords. Understand? She nods.

In the interrogation room, Michael says, Nelle’s birthday didn’t work, and Chase tells him, think hard before he tries again. Sonny calls, and Carly asks how Brook is. He says, awake, but the doctors say she can’t talk yet. He asked her if Nelle was the one who attacked her, and she confirmed it. Carly says she’ll put him on speaker. Chase asks if there are any details, and Sonny says, Brook seems to know more, but can’t communicate it.

Olivia calls Willow, and asks how she’s holding up. She heard about Wiley. Willow says she’s hanging in, but how is Brook? Olivia says, she pulled through and she’s awake. Willow says, that’s wonderful news. She knows Olivia and Ned must be relieved. Olivia says, they are, but brace herself. Brook confirmed Nelle attacked her. Willow says, at least they know now for sure. Olivia says, she’s not alone, is she? and Willow says, no. Nina and Jax are there. Olivia says, good. She’ll let Willow know as soon as they know. Willow thanks her for calling, and Nina asks about Brook. Willow says, Brook was able to confirm that Nelle attacked her. She didn’t realize it until this minute, but deep down, she was hoping Nelle wasn’t this desperate or vicious. Nina says she doesn’t know if this will be a comfort, but she knows Nelle wouldn’t hurt her own child. She might hurt someone who tries to take him, but not Wiley himself. Jax says he’ll go to the hospital and see what he can find out. Willow says she appreciates it, and he says he’ll do what he can. Stay calm. Nina walks him to the door, and says, thank you for that. He says, absolutely. He’s there to support her, Michael, and Willow. He’ll do what he can to bring Wiley back to the people who love him. Inside, Willow looks at pictures of Wiley on her phone.

The woman calls the PCPD hotline, and says she saw the kidnapper. She spoke to her for about ten minutes, and saw the little boy in the back of the car. Nelle was pulled over on Schoolhouse Road outside of Clarksfield. She says she’ll wait, but hurry. Nelle’s been gone at least 20 minutes.

Nelle pulls over, and says, they’re here. She gets out of the car.

Sonny calls Jason, and asks where he is. Jason says he’s at the safe house outside of Telegraph Road. Sonny asks, what’s going on? and Jason says he has a situation, but it’s not urgent. He asks if there’s an update, but Sonny says, not yet. There’s a wide net, but his people haven’t found anything. What about Spinelli? Jason says Spinelli tracked Nelle’s phone to where she last used it, on Pier 55, but there was no signal. Sonny wonders if she could be traveling by boat, but Jason says the alert was updated, and she’s in a car. Sonny asks if Jason wants to tell him about the situation, but Jason says he’s handling it. Sonny says he has to go; Michael and Carly are there. Sonny asks Michael if there’s any news, and Michael says Chase found Nelle’s cell phone. He says he needs to talk to Brook, and leaves. Sonny tells Carly that he talked to Jason. She asks if he has a lead, and he says, it’s not about Wiley, but he has something going on. He’s at a safe house, and said he has a situation, but he knows what he’s doing. It must be important or he’d be looking for Wiley. Carly suggests Sonny go help Jason.

Willow looks at pictures of Wiley, and Nina wonders if she can ask a question about Charlotte. Willow says, okay, and Nina asks what she thinks about Charlotte as a student. Willow says, Charlotte is extremely bright; it helps that she’s bilingual. She’s curious, articulate, inventive, and good at synthesizing information. Academically, she could skip ahead, but socially she should stay in a regular class. She’s been somewhat isolated, and it’s good for her to be around regular kids. Nina says, they all need friends, right? The doorbell rings, and Nina says, it might be Jax. She runs to the door, but it’s Sasha. Sasha and Willow lock eyes.

Nelle says, good thing she remembered where the key was hidden. Michael and his family will be looking, but they’ll never think of looking there.

Chase tells Epiphany he needs to speak to Brook, but Epiphany says, she’s resting, and shouldn’t be disturbed. She walks away, and Michael messes with Nelle’s phone. Chase says, any luck? but Michael says, no. Chase says two more tries and they’re locked out for good. Chase looks at his phone, and says, there’s been a possible Nelle and Wiley sighting outside town. He tells Michael to stay, and let him know if he cracks the password. He’ll be in touch. He leaves, and Michael looks in on Brook. She raises her hand, and he tells the guard that he’s going to check out his cousin. He goes into the room, and Brook smiles. He closes the door, and sits next to her bed. He says he’s so sorry this happened to her. He’s sorry he brought Nelle into their lives. He’s sure Brook tried to stop her, and thanks her for that. She flashes back to Nelle telling Julian about the tracker in the kangaroo. She whispers to Michael, Nelle has a tracker in the wallaby.

Sonny arrives at the safe house, and asks Jason to tell him about the situation. Jason says, see for himself. Sonny goes inside, and sees Taggert. He asks, how the hell is he alive?

Sasha says she saw the alert, and went to the PCPD. Michael was there, and said Willow was waiting at home. She didn’t want Willow to be alone, but obviously she’s not. Willow says it was kind of Sasha to check on her, and Sasha says she’s so sorry. Whatever Willow thinks of her, never in million years did she think this would happen. Willow says, no one did.

The woman tells Chase, that’s her. She recognized her as soon as she saw the alert. He asks, how was the child? and she says, snug in his car seat, fast asleep. He asks if there were any signs of distress, but she says, he was sleeping the whole time. She gave Nelle directions to get back on the highway, since her GPS wasn’t working on her phone. He says, she had a phone? and the woman says the reception stinks there. Chase asks if she said anything about where they were going, but the woman says Nelle just asked how to get back to the highway. She told Nelle to turn right, but she was in a hurry. If she missed the turn, she could still be driving around there.

Nelle tells Wiley, it’s Michael’s fault. He let Carly come against her time and again. He believed Carly, and took her side. One more person to betray her and lie to her.

Michael tells Brook that he has Nelle’s cell phone. She dropped it next to the car, and the police recovered it. Is she telling him that Nelle installed an app to keep track of Wiley? Brook nods. He says he tried to guess the password, and only has one more try. He’s tried Nelle and Wiley’s birthdays, and Wiley’s name. Apparently Michael knows Nelle isn’t very creative. He says he knows it has to be something about her, and thinks back to when they were together. He remembers telling Nelle that he’s sorry about what happened, but grateful she saved his sister. Nelle says she prefers to think of her scar as a birthmark. From that moment on, she was reborn, and it led her to him. Her life started over on March 21^st, 2011. Michael tells Brook, Nelle thought her new birthday was the day before Josslyn’s transplant. He tries it, and the phone opens. He looks at Brook.

Michael says he can’t thank Brook enough for the lead in finding his son. Ned asks what Michael is doing there; Brook is supposed to rest. Michael says he saw her trying to get out of bed, and Olivia says, you know Brook; she always leaps before she looks. Michael tells Brook to take care of herself. He’ll take care everything else. In the hallway, Epiphany tells the guard, there you are. She understands he has a job to do, but so do they, and theirs takes precedence. Michael slips away.

Sonny asks Jason how he found Taggert, and Jason says he was tracking Nelle’s cell phone to Pier 55. She wasn’t there, but Taggert was lying on the ground, bleeding. He called Epiphany, who showed up, no questions asked. She wasn’t expecting to see Taggert, but didn’t seem surprised that he was alive. Sonny asks if she told him who helped, and Jason says she told him it was her business, and not his. Sonny says, she couldn’t have done this alone. He’s sure Jordan is in on it, but why did Taggert go through all this trouble just to come back? Taggert wakes up, and says, what the hell? How is the girl? Sonny asks, what girl? and Taggert says, on the pier. A guy was going to shoot her. Sonny asks him to focus. What is he trying to tell them?

Jax sees Carly at the hospital, and thanks her for meeting him. He didn’t want to intrude on the family. He asks how she’s holding up, and she says she’s trying. Nelle has done so much damage. He asks if she’s seen Brook, but she says, not yet. Sonny had to leave, so she was making phone calls to make sure everything is okay at home. Jax asks how Josslyn is, and Carly says, she’s still with Trina. She’s praying Wiley is brought home safe before Josslyn knows he’s gone.

Sasha says she should go. Let her know if she can do anything. Willow says, say a prayer, think good thoughts. Sometimes their faith is all they have. Sasha says she’s got it, and leaves. Nina says, well that was weird. Willow doesn’t hate Sasha? Willow says, actually, she misses having Sasha as a friend.

Carly sees Olivia, and says she’s so sorry this happened. Jax asks how Brook is, and Olivia says, she’s already stronger. Ned is in with her. Carly asks if she saw Michael and Chase. They were supposed to talk to Brook. Olivia says she hasn’t seen Chase in a while, but Michael was visiting with Brook. They had to kick everyone out, since she’s supposed to be resting. Carly asks if Olivia talked to Michael, and she says, not really, but he did say something weird. He told Brook to take care of herself, and said he’ll take care of everything else.

Sonny asks if Taggert remembers what happened at the pier. Taggert says he was supposed to meet a launch that would take him to a freighter. But when he got close, he saw a man holding a women at gunpoint. Jason asks if he got a look at the man, but he says, it was dark; he only had time to react. He grabbed the man from behind, and they struggled for the gun. He lost. All he remembers after that is Jason showing up. Sonny says they’ll revisit that later. Right now, he just wants to know, how the hell is Taggert still alive?

Ned promises Brook that the police will find Nelle, and make her pay. If they don’t, he’ll hire people to track Nelle to the ends of the earth. Olivia says the important thing is that Brook beat Nelle; she survived, and she’s going to heal. Chase calls, and says he wants to ask Brook some questions. The medication is wearing off, so she should be able to use a tablet or write. Dr. Fisher says, it’s essential that she try not to speak. Any attempt could damage her vocal chords. Olivia tells Brook to rest; get all the sleep she can. Brook nods, tearing up, and Olivia says, don’t cry. Everything will be okay. Ned says she’ll be good as new in no time.

Chase calls all units, telling them that he’s outside of Clarksfield. He give them Nelle’s alias and the license plate number, saying she was last seen on Route 73. He describes Wiley, and tells them, approach with caution. She’s a convicted killer, and considered dangerous.

Outside, Sasha takes out a small bag of coke.

Nina says, Willow has let go of resentment. What’s her secret, and can Willow teach her? Willow says she feels betrayed, and hasn’t forgiven them, but she doesn’t think they did it with malice. They were weak and hurting, and overwhelmed by the situation. They made a wrong choice. Nina tells her, the same could be said about what Sasha did to her. Valentin can be overwhelming, and probably convinced Sasha that they weren’t doing any harm. The ironic part is, she misses Sasha, even after knowing Sasha’s not her daughter.

Nelle fingers her half-heart necklace. She says Wiley is worn out. He’s sound asleep, but she can’t blame him. She can barely keep her eyes open. They need to leave early to avoid the police. She digs in her bag for something, and pulls out the kangaroo.

Carly looks at her phone.

In the car, Michael follows the tracker. His phone rings, but he ignores it. He says, sorry, mom. I’m coming, buddy. Dad’s coming.

Nelle asks why she brought this stupid thing. She takes out the tracker, and says they had it on them the whole time.

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Jordan that he doesn’t want any secrets between them, Josslyn says the only person Cameron is different around is Trina, Carly says Michael found Nelle, and Michael asks Nelle where his son is.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Ugh.

Kyle and Sutton work on a collaboration. In her interview, Kyle says, Sutton has the right clientele.

Garcelle finally found a director for her movie, and meets her team for drinks. Director Amy Barrett says, it’s the kind of movie that needs to get made. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, it’s called Split Marriage, and it’s a psychological thriller. Garcelle tells them, let’s make a kick ass movie, and they clink glasses.

Party planner Nick Pary meets with Dorit to plan a housewarming/Christmas/whatever party. In her interview, Dorit says she’s dealt with a lot of BS. We see a headline that questions them being able to afford a $6 million house. She asks, what do people want The Real Tax Returns of Beverly Hills? Her kids enjoy every space in the house, and she feels that it’s a happy home. She talks to PK and Nick about integrating the party with the people. PK wonders if the illusionist can make Dorit’s friends disappear, and Dorit suggests he make her husband disappear. The planner is staying out of it. Dorit wants everyone to come together, and bury the hatchet. Good luck with that. In her interview, she says, two years ago, she and LisaR weren’t in a good place. We flash back to them making up, and Dorit says, now LisaR is one of her best friends. She knows LisaR and Denise are at odds, but she believes they can get through anything. She tells PK that Denise never ended up coming last time, then Brandi showed up. As Denise’s friend, she feels responsible to challenge what Brandi has said, and Brandi is telling them to look at the texts on her phone. PK says, that’s not a friend, and Dorit tells him to let her finish, but she’s lost her train of thought. PK says he’s a great listener. Is he supposed to just nod? She says, that’s what people do. She thinks it’s important that Denise be able to tell her side. PK says he has no interest in getting involved. Don’t bring him in. He only gets involved if Dorit is being attacked. Dorit says, for the first time in a long time, it’s not her, and he says, keep it that way.

Teddi and LisaR call Erika in New York. She’s at the theatre, and LisaR says, it’s the role of a lifetime. Which she ought to know, since she did it 18 years ago. In Erika’s interview, she says she’s back in New York, walking to work like she used to when she was 18 with her backpack. She sees a poster for the show on a receptacle, and says, you know you’ve made it when you’re on a trashcan. She asks if everything is okay, and LisaR says, the party was an intense moment. Teddi says Erika left at just the right moment. Erika wonders what happened, and LisaR says she and Denise talked and texted a few times. She told Denise about the party, and Denise said she’d see her there. In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s torn. She wants to be a good friend, but now thinks maybe Denise is the sh*tty friend. She made her bed, she has to sleep in it. Even if it’s felled with nails and snakes. Don’t give me ideas. Already my blood pressure is going up.

PK models some outfits for Dorit. After seeing a particularly loud jacket, Dorit says, maybe not tonight… or ever.

Kyle tells her glam squad that her sister is coming. She had her boobs redone, and her teeth done. Now they have to find her a nice husband. One of the squad says Kim has no problem attracting men, and Kyle says, she has seven or eight engagement rings. Um… Isn’t the usual practice to only keep the ring if the other person breaks up with you?

Everyone gets glam. I sleep through this part.

Garcelle waits with Michael outside Denise’s hotel. Garcelle says, Denise is nervous. Some of the girls (cough) had it out for her, so they decided to arrive together. She thinks Denise feels vulnerable with the group ganging up on her. They’ll probably have a few shots in the car. She has Denise’s back, no matter what. That’s what friendship means to her.

Dorit loves the party set-up, and talks to René, her pyro for tonight; he’s taking care of the candles. I didn’t even know you could hire people for that. LisaR says the place is gorgeous, and PK asks her to try his new non-alcoholic champagne. He thinks it will be a huge hit. She tells him it’s good, but in her interview, she doesn’t own it, and says, champagne with no alcohol is like sex without an orgasm. What’s the point? Have water. Can this woman even be more of a self-centered a-hole? Dorit points out that the name of it is L’astuce, which means trick in French. She says they wanted to have it on time for the baby shower, and Teddi says, it’s good. The morally corrupt Faye Resnick shows up, and LisaR babbles about naming her wig. In her interview, she forces us to listen to stories about her wigs, and tells us their names. Adrienne arrives, and I’m loving what Sutton is wearing. It’s weird, hard to explain, and I couldn’t find a picture. She was dragged on social media for it, but I love crazy clothes.

Garcelle keeps trying to call Denise, and says she’s starving. Michael asks if she didn’t eat, and Garcelle says only some chicken wings a friend brought her. She loves them; it’s so Black of her. Michael says she’s getting animated while she’s talking about it, and says he should see how animated she gets when she talks diamonds. He asks if she wants to talk diamonds, and she laughs. In her interview, Garcelle says she’s feeling like she’s ready to have a relationship. She didn’t have sex for seven years after her divorce. She didn’t trust, and didn’t think she was capable of letting someone in. And she didn’t. She was tight as hell. She tells Michael, her calls are going right to voicemail, and he says, that’s what happens when your phone is off.

PK tells everyone that his wife has something to say. Kyle says, that’s a shocker. Dorit welcomes everyone to her new home, and says, it’s a very special night. Phoenix pops out and asks why she’s being loud, and she explains she’s projecting her voice. Phoenix tells her to whisper it, and Dorit says, mommy teaches well. They have a nice treat, a world-renowned illusionist and mentalist. She introduces Simon Winthrop, and he makes Teddi’s ring disappear. Too bad he couldn’t make Teddi disappear.

Still no Denise, and Garcelle suggests they just go and see if she shows. She gets it if Denise doesn’t want to be there, but don’t leave them hanging. Garcelle says, if Denise is there, she’s going to kill her.

Simon makes a cigarette float in the air. He’s no David Blaine, but then again, he’s not harassing the women at the party either. Garcelle and Michael arrive, and LisaR states the obvious, saying Denise isn’t with them. No. She’s hiding in Garcelle’s purse. What an ass LisaR is. Garcelle says Denise was supposed to meet them, and was a no show. Her calls are going straight to voicemail. Dorit says, maybe she’s going to be late, but Garcelle says she would have returned a text or taken her calls. Dorit says Garcelle missed the magic act. In asshat LisaR’s interview, she says, it’s strange how Denise never showed, yet she reached out, asking if LisaR was going to be there, and saying they needed to work through stuff. She said, of course she’ll be there. LisaR tells the others, Denise had asked if she was dressing up, and said she was going with Garcelle. Garcelle asks if Dorit is okay, and Dorit says her heart is racing. This woman could get nervous over a snail race. LisaR says either Denise’s phone is off or she’s been blocked. Dorit says Denise just texted her last night. In Dorit’s interview, she says, Denise has no problem facing people. When Dorit had a problem with Camille, Denise was supportive. LisaR says, Denise isn’t coming, and Garcelle says Denise stood her up; that’s not okay. At least say something. In her interview, Garcelle says she’s sure Denise has a reason for not showing, but she’s been there for Denise, and Denise should value the friendship. She asks if Brandi was invited, but Dorit says she’s not even friends with Brandi. On the side, Garcelle tells Michael they’ll have to go to In & Out Burger. I’m not sure why, since there’s food, but maybe Garcelle isn’t keen on the menu. Garcelle recognizes a server from Kyle’s party, and we flash back to her calling him a tall drink of water. Chocolate Michael talks to Sutton’s boyfriend Michael, saying he and Garcelle are talking about a proposal. Michael #2 says, don’t tell Sutton. Chocolate Michael says, it’s not often both people are on the same page at the same time.

Dorit says Camille phoned her out of the blue last night. She has no desire of any kind to have a relationship with Camille. Sh*tty friend LisaR says, someone saw Denise and Camille together. We see a clip of Denise telling Camille, no matter what she says, they don’t believe her, and Camille saying, now Denise knows what she went through. Denise says, she’s going to be seeing them tomorrow. Camille says she hopes Denise is prepared. In LisaR’s interview, she wonders why Denise would want to reach out to Camille. We flash back to Denise getting in Camille’s face, yelling, back off, and LisaR says, Camille will jump on anyone’s bandwagon. This coming from the one who has admitted she’ll do anything for money/exposure. She says, you could manipulate Camille wearing a blindfold and a ball in your mouth. No comment. Too easy. Brandi comes in with Kim, and Garcelle says, there you have it. Dorit says, oh my goodness gracious, and in her interview, she says, thank God Denise isn’t here, but holy sh*t. She and Brandi aren’t in the best of places, and this girl is at her house. She didn’t know Brandi was Kim’s plus one. Hmmm… maybe Kim is the one from the group Brandi was talking about. They seem to be joined at the hip. Kim yaps about how great her boobs are since her implants were taken out, and Kyle pokes at them. Kim asks Mauricio to touch her side boob, and dumb as a box of rocks Kyle seconds that request, but Mauricio wisely declines. Brandi asks if Denise is there, and Sutton says, no, but they need to work this out. In Sutton’s interview, she says she’s known Denise for years. They go to the same skincare specialist, and see each other socially on occasion. She’s not worried about anyone saying she had sex with them. Look at her. I’m not sure what that means. She’s too good for everyone, or she’s no one anybody would brag about having sex with? She tells Brandi, maybe one day she’ll learn not to say stuff, but Brandi says, that’s not happening. Kim can’t stop touching her own boobs. Dorit is surprised Denise didn’t come, and Brandi says she sent Denise a text. Putting paramedics on speed dial for when I have my stroke. Brandi says she assumed Denise would be there, so she was giving her a heads up. Kyle asks if Brandi has talked to Denise, and Brandi says she has. First, Denise called her a liar, and then asked wtf she was doing. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to see any texts. She wants to believe Denise. She wants Denise to show up with all the tea, and know she’s vindicated with the truth. She chooses to believe Denise because she’s Denise’s friend. The women throw ice cubes in the pool like they did with coins in the Trevi fountain. Brandi acts like she’s in the opening credits already.

Remember how I said the texts Brandi produced didn’t sound like Denise, but sounded like Brandi? Well, I remember, and when Brandi goes over to the women, she says, hey, pretty ladies. That was in her text, supposedly from Denise. Maybe I’m delusional, but I’m telling you, Denise is right. Brandi made this sh*t up. And there are several apps for that.

15 minutes later. Another sh*tty thing happens. As Garcelle is getting in her car, a producer pops his head in, and tells Garcelle that they got a text from Aaron saying there was a family emergency. He says Garcelle was defending her and now Denise bails on her. Garcelle says, that’s not cool. W. T. F. ?  Producers are now blatantly manipulating situations on the show? I always knew the pot was stirred behind the scenes, but do they just not care anymore?

Garcelle meets LisaR at a restaurant, and supreme phony LisaR says, it’s a nice surprise; meeting for a Christmas drink. Garcelle says her favorite drink there is called Emotionally Unavailable. LisaR thinks she’s joking, but it’s a real thing. LisaR asks if Garcelle is going to be there for Christmas, and Garcelle says she’s been on so many flights, she just wants to be home. She’s still unpacking from the move, and just wants to nest. Dorit joins them, and Garcelle asks where Dorit’s kids were at the party; in the basement? Dorit says Garcelle didn’t make it for the beginning, still not answering the question, and Garcelle says, waiting for Denise, her mind went straight to the worst. Dorit says she never heard anything, then Denise messaged her the following day, saying, sorry she missed last night; they’ll talk soon. She says, but Denise and Garcelle are friends. Garcelle says Denise reached out (holy! I have never once said a friend reached out, and they say it every five minutes) on Sunday, but she had people over, and couldn’t go into it in depth. Denise said she didn’t want Garcelle to have to lie for her, so she didn’t call. She’d told the producers there was a family emergency. Dorit says, so there was no family emergency? In her interview, Garcelle says, it’s like a jigsaw puzzle. She’s not sure where the pieces go, or what’s real or not. Garcelle says Denise wanted to get together, but she had the feeling things were going to fall apart, and they did. We see a clip of Garcelle going to meet Denise, and Denise calling, saying she got hung up, and can’t make it. She suggests dinner over the holidays with their men. Garcelle mumbles that she came all the way up there. Dorit says, it’s sad, and Garcelle says she’s been Denise’s friend. Dorit says, it feels tricky, and in her interview, says it feels manipulative, and she wonders what’s real. LisaR wonders why Denise reached out to her, but says she’s still there for Denise.

This show is going to make me gain weight. I need a constant stream of cookies while watching. The sad part is, I used to look forward to it. LVP, glimpses of Giggy, even Brandi when she was just an a-hole and still seemed like she might learn how to be a decent human.

LisaR says Garcelle has proven she’s Denise’s friend, but wonders why Denise reached out to her. We flash back to Garcelle telling Denise that LisaR is different today from the LisaR she knew. It feels like she’s the bad guy in their movie. Dorit says, that’s deflecting, apparently not understanding the definition, and asks if Denise thinks she’s able to control the narrative through the press. LisaR says, Denise has done it her whole life. Evidently, LisaR is now owning it for other people. She says Denise didn’t show on Saturday, and the first post on her social media was from Aaron of her in a hospital bed with hernias. It’s called a sympathy post. It happened three months ago, and it conveniently looks like she’s still recovering, but that’s not the truth. Dorit doesn’t know if it’s strategic, and LisaR says, of course it is. Garcelle finds it hard to believe, but LisaR says Denise was married to Charlie Sheen, and fought him in the press for 14 years with 14 different lawyers. They’ll all be portrayed as mean girls. She knows how the game works. If they don’t think Denise is capable of this, they’re effing crazy.

The text tells us that Denise sent a cease and desist letter to the cast and the producers. We see a January 8^th headline that says Denise stopped filming. In Kyle’s interview, she says, you can’t get entangled with Brandi and think it’s going to be kept quiet. LisaR calls Kyle, and says they’ll probably never see Denise again. Kyle says she’s scared to show who she is. We see Denise driving, and she calls Aaron, saying she’s done with the shoot, but wants to stop by LisaR’s house. They talked on the phone. He asks how it went, and she says, not so good. He tells her, selfishly, he’d like to understand the thought process, and why Denise is being treated this way. Denise says she would too, and Aaron says, so ask her. We see a clip of her calling LisaR, and saying she’d like to talk in person. She asks if LisaR would be open to doing that, and LisaR says if Denise comes with an open mind and heart, she’ll be happy to. Denise says she’s not coming for a therapy session (snort), but as a friend. LisaR says Denise can’t beat her over the head for being a bad friend. Denise says she’s never done that, and LisaR whines, that’s how she feels, since she can’t possibly own it. Denise says, great. See her soon.

They hug, and Denise thanks LisaR for letting her come over; she’s missed LisaR. She asks what they can do to move past this. She asks if LisaR knew Brandi was going to be at the party, but LisaR says, no. Denise seems skeptical, and LisaR asks if Denise knew. Denise says she did; that’s why she didn’t show up. She didn’t want Brandi to create some Jerry-effing-Springer moment. A high horse trots out, and LisaR gets on it, saying, so there was no family emergency. Denise says, no, and LisaR hisses, that’s a lie. They were worried about her. Denise didn’t respond to her. Denise says she responded to Dorit and Garcelle, and LisaR says she doesn’t care about them. Denise says she didn’t get LisaR’s text, but LisaR pats her horse, says good boy, and claims she has a screen shot. Denise says, the reality is what it is, and LisaR says Denise lied. Whatever is going on isn’t her business… Denise says, there’s nothing going on. Why doesn’t LisaR believe her? LisaR says, to be honest (choke), she doesn’t know what to believe. She witnessed something that confused her. We flashed back to her hunger for looking at the texts Brandi had, and she tells Denise that it was a long text chain. Even if it was platonic, there was a relationship. Denise says she doesn’t care what Brandi has. Their interaction was limited. In Denise’s interview, she says there’s an app that can revise texts. She tells LisaR, whatever Brandi has, she doesn’t care. She’s only seen Brandi four times in her life. LisaR says she doesn’t buy that. It’s none of her business, but she doesn’t understand why Denise doesn’t ask Brandi why she’s doing this. Denise asks why she should engage with something like that, and LisaR asks if that’s how it goes away, by ignoring it? Denise says she’s dealt with other things, but doesn’t want to say how. LisaR says, by sending cease and desist letters? She knows Denise wanted the footage taken out. Denise asks who told LisaR that, but instead of owning it or being honest, LisaR creepily whispers, you’re so angry. Seriously, her face and tone aren’t just deflective, but disturbing. Denise says LisaR is playing dirty. Slanderous things have been said, and if they’d been about LisaR wouldn’t she send a cease and desist letter? LisaR doesn’t know, but she’s shown up and dealt with who she’s needed to. Denise says she has too. She wants to resolve this and move on. LisaR wants to know who’s being honest. Denise says she’s had to explain to her kids that stuff was said that’s not true, but they have to hold their heads high and move past it. They can’t let it take them down. It’s actually been a lesson she’s talked to her kids about. LisaR says, that’s positive, because she’s a twit, and Denise says it’s not a conversation she wants to have with them. LisaR says there are a lot of conversations they don’t want to have with their kids. In her interview, Denise says it’s not the first time their family has been in the press, but they have to rise above it holding their heads high. If she didn’t have a solid marriage, it might be a different situation. In LisaR’s interview, she says neither one of them is changing their point of view. They’ll have to agree to disagree, which puts a dead end on their friendship, since LisaR doesn’t understand how to actually be a friend. She says, it’s sad. LisaR says she’s always been there for Denise, and still will be if she wants her too. Denise says same with her, but I’m guessing these two are never going to talk again when this season is over.

Sutton gives everyone a private jet ride to NYC. She tells the others that she got a text from Denise that said, have fun. LisaR wonders who wouldn’t want to be on a private jet going to see Erika in Chicago. If you don’t, you need to work on your life. I guess I’d better start working on mine. Thanks for the enlightenment. They meet Erika, and it’s all hugs and kisses. In Erika’s interview, she says, nothing worth having is easy. She’s always kept her eye on the prize. What great thing is next? I dunno. Covid-19? The text says, Erika earned rave reviews, then we see a video where Erika is in an empty theater, looking downcast. She says, no audience. So this is how it ends. The text says Covid shut down the theatre two months after Erika started, and she went home to Tom.

Garcelle tells us, she’d say to that little girl living in Haiti, don’t be scared, even though things aren’t right and they’re hurtful. The text tells us that she wasn’t so sweet on Chocolate Michael, and is on the hunt for a spicier guy.

Teddi says, like it or not, this is who she is. I pick not. The text says she had baby Dove, and is finding time to work off the baby weight. Zzzz…

Kyle says the pandemic has changed her thinking. She’s been analyzing the things she can’t live without – people and things. Articulate as ever. The text tells us her fashion line is being sold online, and her loungewear is selling big during quarantine.

In Denise’s interview, she says there are a few sides to her. You can be a wild thing, and be a protective mom at the same time. The text tells us The Bold and the Beautiful was the first soap to return to filming. Due to restrictions, Aaron has been her stand-in during love scenes. I did read that shows are doing their best to have real life couples do the up close and personal romance.

We see LisaR acting like a jerk on Instagram, and she says, you can’t sweep things under the rug. She’s a big nasty bully truth seeker, and knows when she’s being bullsh*tted. She couldn’t not listen to that voice.

Dorit tells us, it’s really important that she voice what she believes. Even if it’s not the majority opinion, she’s okay being on the island. Can we vote her off? Actually, I’m least annoyed with her. The text tells us the Capri room closed because of the pandemic, but Dorit is helping Phoenix do her cooking show. We see Phoenix in the kitchen, and Dorit says, the ladies (choke again) have the ability to look past their disagreements, and move forward. They’re always holding on to hope.

Next time, the Reunion. I think this is my last season for this show. I said that last time, but this was almost worse.

🛣 The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City begins this fall. I, too, hold on to hope.

🤺 Owning It and Then Some…

Denise has a few things to say.

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/denise-richards-walks-out-of-rhobh-reunion-slams-andy-cohen/

🍸 It Was Bound To Happen…

I still like Dorinda. She’s totally a mean drunk, but I was hoping she’d continue in therapy, and things would change. Here’s hoping they still do.

https://pagesix.com/2020/08/25/dorinda-medley-fired-from-rhony-for-being-a-mean-drunk/

https://www.realitytea.com/2020/08/26/dorinda-medley-fired/

🏒 Putting It Off…

I ended up with another long day, but promise Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles is on this week’s agenda. RHOBH took a lot out of me, and yes, I know how sad that sounds. So until next time, stay safe, stay truthful, and stay out of Dorinda’s way.