What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

All Britt knows is that her father thought Jason was dead, was furious when he found out otherwise, and wanted the traitor dead. Sonny asks if she knew the traitor’s name, but she says no. She’s truly sorry, but says Jason not only survived, he’s in excellent shape. Why not just move on? Jason says because her father gave his life to someone else.

Drew asks how well she knew him. She says they didn’t know each other long, but their time together was pretty intense. She got pregnant, and Oscar is his son. Sam overhears.

Michael tells Carly that Nelle is pregnant, and Nelle says, congratulations, grandma. <snort> Carly says it’s the oldest trick in the book. Michael says the doctor confirmed it, and she’s six-weeks along. Carly says the baby isn’t his.

Anna goes into the interrogation room, and tells Andre this is a fine predicament.

At the hospital, Finn tells Cassandra that the last test he was worried about is negative; she’s completely in the clear. She wonders why he’s looking upset, and he says he wasted her time, and brought her all the way there for nothing. She says it wasn’t a complete waste, and asks why he’s being so formal with her. He says it has nothing to do with her, and she wonders what’s put him in a foul mood.

Sonny says they know Britt and Faison checked in three days ago. Wasn’t he worried about being recognized? She says her father has a talent for being incognito. She explains that before coming back, they traveled all over Europe, naming some major cities. Jason asks if they went to St. Petersburg, and she says they did. He wonders why they were touring the financial capitals. Sonny thinks maybe he was tracing where the traitor had gone. Jason says maybe he was following the traitor’s path, to see what else they might have done.

Sam joins Kim and Drew, saying she didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Drew asks if Oscar knows, and Kim says she hasn’t told him, but he started asking questions after his brother showed up on Thanksgiving. She says she wore her heart on her sleeve, seeing a face she knew. Drew says, just when think it can’t get more strange. Kim tells him that they hit it off fast, and spent a couple of months together. It wasn’t a fling; they had a real connection, but he was scheduled to be deployed with an open-ended tour. They both knew they’d probably never see each other again. Drew asks if she let him leave without telling him she was pregnant.

Nelle says It’s common knowledge that Carly didn’t know who Michael’s father was, trying to pass him off as Tony Jones’s child, and then AJ’s. No one seemed to have any issue about her sleeping with two brothers, and her stepfather. Nelle says she’s not promiscuous, and has only been with Michael. Carly interjects that it was after she pretended to sleep with Sonny. Carly says she thinks it’s going to be her golden ticket, but the first thing they’re doing is a paternity test.

Andre didn’t expect to see Anna. She asks if he doesn’t think she cares about the people affected?  Or him? He tells her that he didn’t think she wanted anything to do with him. She says he was a good friend when she needed one, and she wants to be one for him, but she has to understand why this happened or why he didn’t come to her. He says he didn’t want to bother her, but she thinks he didn’t want her to know he was playing God with everyone’s lives. She asks, why? Andre says why does it matter? He can’t undo it. Anna says when he came to her that night to say goodbye, he told her that she’d hear things that would make him sound bad, and he wanted her to hold on to the good. She has, and believes him and knows him. She knows someone or something powerful made him do it; it just doesn’t make sense. What was so important that he destroyed all these lives, including his own? Andre says, his wife.

Finn explains to Cassandra that he’s developed a new painkiller that could revolutionize the treatment of patients, but the board is refusing to fund it. Cassandra says that’s shortsighted. The royalties from his last discovery is keeping life in the hospital. He says it doesn’t technically treat an illness, but making patients comfortable is part of their treatment. He tells her that they’re concerned about it being highly addictive if administered incorrectly. Cassandra asks if he’s put in a new drug application, and says he might have to just live with the satisfaction of saving lives. Finn says this time he’d like to get paid, and she says, as well he should.

Jason says maybe killing him wasn’t the traitor’s only job. Maybe they were handling operations in other cities, and Faison wanted to see if they were being handled correctly. Sonny asks Britt what kind of mood he was in, and she says it wasn’t that great to begin with, and got steadily worse. Jason asks when he went out, and what he was wearing when she did. Britt says mostly suits in the daytime, but he went out occasionally in the evening. Jason says those cities are financial capitals, and Sonny thinks Faison needed a clear picture on what the traitor did. He asks Britt if the traitor is dead, and if that’s why he left.

Josslyn and Oscar walk in the park. She says he doesn’t have to see the results. He’s gone his entire life without knowing, and if he wants to go on not knowing, it’s okay. He says it’s not okay to hide from the truth. She tells him to just click, and he asks her to do it. She does, and asks if he wants to look at it, or should she just tell him. Oscar wants her to tell him, and Josslyn says Drew is his father.

Kim didn’t know she was pregnant when Drew left. She found out weeks after he was deployed. Drew says he’s sorry she went through it alone, and Kim says he didn’t do it on purpose. He was a different man in a different life. She tells him it didn’t feel right putting it in a letter, and she couldn’t email or call because he was classified, and she wasn’t family. In all fairness, she didn’t tell his superiors; she thought he should know first. After Oscar was born, the most important thing was to make sure he was loved and cared for and protected. She finished her internship, then her residency and specialty. There was a lot of life to deal with, and she questioned whether or not to drop the bomb on him. The Drew she knew was dedicated to the SEALs. He’d told her once that it wasn’t fair to ask someone to wait, and she wondered if he’d even welcome the news. She thought it was better for Oscar not to know, especially if he didn’t want anything to do with him. Then one Christmas, after the presents were unwrapped, Oscar had fallen asleep. He’d been so excited about Santa, he’d been up all night. At that moment, she realized she was robbing him of all the moments. She contacted the Navy in 2013, but they told her he’d deserted.

Michael tells Carly that he was thinking the same thing, but right now wanted to focus on the pregnancy. One step at a time. Nelle asks if he’s still questioning that he’s the father. Carly says they wouldn’t believe her if she said the sky was blue. Nelle tells Michael that he knows the dates. Michael says he’s constantly caught her in lies, and he’s been lied to before about a child being his, then had the rug pulled out from under him. It’s not happening again, and he won’t believe her until it’s proven.

Andre tells Anna that his wife’s name is Kita; he called her Kato. He met her at an art show, but could focus only on her. She was beautiful with an intoxicating laugh. Her life was like a light, and she was way out of his league. He was scared to talk to her, but as he was leaving, she stopped him. She said if he was going to stare at her all night, at least buy her a drink, and he did. Anna says she sounds incredible. Andre says he fell hard, and they moved in together after six months. She was his best friend, and they were so in love. He joined the WSB, and was sent overseas for a year, but she couldn’t come with him. They decided to elope, so they would stay committed to each other. Anna says he keeps talking about her in the past tense; what happened? Jordan is walking by the door, and hears them. He says after they were married for three months, her sister called him. Something was wrong. Kita was disoriented and losing her memory. He came back, and found out it was the early onset of Alzheimer’s. Anna says, so he created the memory map to save the woman he loved. By now, they’re both crying. Andre says he couldn’t lose her. Jordan listens outside the door.

Britt doesn’t think the traitor is dead; her father was too agitated, and would have been calmer. He got a phone call the other night, and went out. He came back in a foul mood, and said they had to go. Jason asks what this is, showing her a half-burned manuscript by P.K. Sinclair. I get so excited, I don’t even notice the title, which might possibly be significant.

Kim tells Drew that she’s sorry. Drew says given what she knew, she did the best thing. Kim tells him, now it’s up to him to decide what happens next.

Oscar asks Josslyn if this is really happening; Drew is his father. Josslyn can’t believe it’s happening either. He says he’s overwhelmed and shocked. It was one thing to think Drew was his father, and another to have the proof. Josslyn says, omg, the Quartermaines. They’re Drew’s family, and now they’re Oscar’s too, including Michael. He was named after Sonny, but his father is a Quartermaine. Oscar asks if he and Josslyn are related, and she says not even close. She only has half-siblings, and now he does too. Scout is his half-sister. He says it’s kind of cool, but doesn’t know how to process it. His whole life, it’s just been him and his mom. Now, there are all these people, a sister, the Quartermaines. He wonders if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Andre spent years developing a master plan that could save Kita, but by the time it was viable, she was too far gone. The light, the energy that was so much a part of her, had been extinguished. She didn’t even know him. Anna asks where she is, and Andre tells her in a facility under her parents care. She occasionally remembered them, but never him. He says with Jason and Andrew, he didn’t mean for things to go this far. He was truly trying to help. Anna believes him. She says she’ll talk to the authorities on his behalf, and Andre says that’s more than he deserves. She tells him take care of himself, and he says her too. She gets up, and he says whoever is behind this is someone powerful. He tells her to be careful, and she tells him to be careful too. When Anna is gone, Jordan walks in. She asks if he was never going to tell her he was married.

Britt says P.K. Sinclair was a pen name her father used when he wrote a series of books about a spy named Daphne in the 80s. Jason wonders why he’d torch his own book, and she says she doesn’t know about that manuscript; she doesn’t think he wrote it. It just showed up, and the last thing he did before he left, was put it in the fireplace. Sonny wonders what about the book could make him so nervous?

Kim tells Drew to take all the time he needs, and she’ll do a DNA test if he wants. She’s not expecting anything from him. She’s been taking care of Oscar his whole life, and they’re just fine. If he doesn’t want a relationship, that’s okay too. Drew didn’t mean to imply that, and she tells him sorry to throw his life in turmoil. Geez, he should be used to it by now. She’s sure they have a lot to talk about, but whatever he decides, she asks him not to do it tonight. She owes it to Oscar to tell him the truth first. Drew asks what Oscar is like; he’s met him a few times, and he seems like a good kid. Kim says he’s a great kid, and a fine young man – just like he was. She leaves, and Sam hugs Drew.

Cassandra says she’s all clear, and Finn has made his last note. She’s no longer his patient. Finn says technically, no. She says then there’s no good no reason to decline her invitation to meet tomorrow, and enjoy a conversation and meal. He says, as friends, and she says, what about colleagues? He asks what that’s about, and she thinks there’s a way they can help each other.

Jordan says Andre was married the whole time, but he says it’s not that simple. She says she would have understood, but he didn’t give her a chance. Andre tells her the marriage was dissolved years ago. Her family asked him to end it, so they could be her primary caregivers. He walked away from the woman he loved to give her peace. Jordan asks if he thought she would think less of him, and he says, yes. He had to put it in the past. He’s sorry. He knows he should have been honest, but was afraid of losing the first woman who made him feel like he could love again.

Nelle says she’s not jeopardizing her pregnancy with an invasive procedure. Carly says times have changed. It’s non-invasive now, and can be done as early as ten weeks. Michael says Nelle has no reason to worry or object. I wonder when Nelle would have had the time to be with someone else.

Britt says that Faison threw the manuscript in the fire, and said if she wasn’t going with him, she was on her own. She says she’s answered all of their questions, and asks if Sonny could answer one for her. She wonders how Ben has been. She knows he’s named Rocco now, but he’ll always be Ben to her. Sonny says he’s a good kid, and tells Britt that he had a long list for Santa. She thanks him for telling her, but he says don’t make him regret it. She can’t have contact with him or Spencer. She tells him that she won’t, and asks what now? He says he’s calling Dante, and telling him she’s there. Britt says she can save him the trouble. Give her a ride to the station. She’ll turn herself in.

Nelle says as long as they can guarantee it’s not invasive, go ahead and schedule the test. Michael will see she’s telling the truth. Carly says that will be a first. Nelle knows how they feel about her, but she’s not asking for anything. She tells Michael to sell the apartment. After this, there’s nothing connecting them. If he wants to be a father, she won’t stop him, but if not, it’s on him, but they’ll be fine.

Jordan says Andre should have told her the truth. She wouldn’t be walking around agonizing, thinking the man she once loved is a stranger. She thanks him, and understands. He tells her the whole time they were together, he kept accusing her of pulling away, but how could he expect her to be open when he wasn’t willing to let her see the real him? Here he is; the real him, finally. He hopes getting to know him now, brings her that peace. She says it’s nice to meet him too, and hopes he also gets the peace he needs.

Cassandra says she’ll set something up. Finn is curious as to how they help one another, and asks if she has any hints. She doesn’t want to ruin the surprise, but she might have something for him in her pharmaceutical company. They’ll discuss it, providing his lady friend doesn’t mind. Finn says she’s not part of this, and won’t mind. Cassandra goes into the elevator, and Finn sees Anna. She asks, what is he doing?

Jason believes the traitor kept him alive. Sonny says they don’t know if it’s even a man or a woman. Jason says maybe Drew saw them, since he was taken first. His memory was removed, but Andre took a baseline. Maybe he can give Drew his memories back. Didn’t Andre burn all the research?

Drew tells Sam that he doesn’t know how to proceed. He has a son now. How can they have a relationship after all these years? He doesn’t even know who he is. How can he make up for the years lost? Sam says he can’t, but he can start from here. He asks what about her, and she says nothing has changed. They knew he had a life before, and there might be more surprises. She’s in it for the long haul. If he wants to pursue a relationship with Oscar, she’s all in. They kiss.

Kim finds Oscar and Josslyn. Josslyn says she was just about to go. Kim says there’s something she wants to talk to Oscar about on the way home. He says he wants to talk about something too. Josslyn hugs him, and whispers, good luck. As they walk, Kim says she knows he’s been looking for answers.

Carly tells Michael when test proves Nelle is lying, she’ll be out of their lives for good. Michael asks what if it’s the truth? Carly says she’s lied about everything else. He says there’s a good chance the baby is his. If it is, she’s going to be part of their lives whether they like it or not.

Anna says Finn is doing the exactly what she told him not to. He asks if he’s a Labrador. He doesn’t work for her, and what he does on his own time is his business. She says he’s in over his head. He tells her that argument was nowhere to be found when she wanted him to deceive Cassandra before. He thinks he can play her, and she’ll be none the wiser. He cares as much as Anna does, and he’s moving forward, with or without her approval. She threatens to arrest him, and he tells her to go ahead. She just looks at him, and he says he didn’t think so. When he leaves, she says, okay, fine. Two can play at this game.

Tomorrow, Britt is glad to see someone, Laura takes on a new challenge, and Cassandra and Finn make a toast.

Vanderpump Rules

Lala looks good in the credits. There’s something a lot less harsh-looking about her.

Back at Scheana’s masquerade party, Schwartz says his instinct is to defend Jax. Brittany tells Jax if it’s true, she’s moving out, taking the dogs, and he can go to effing hell. Lisa approaches Faith, who swears Jax told her that he and Brittany were done. Seriously? She didn’t double-check that? Where was Brittany? In the bathroom? Lisa tells Brittany she doesn’t know what to believe. In her interview, Lisa never believes anything starting with I heard, but when it comes to Jax, it’s true. Jax says he’s blindsided. In his interview, he doesn’t understand, claiming he’s been faithful. Brittany is embarrassed, but Kristen and Scheana say she has nothing to be embarrassed about, and she’s the best thing that’s happened to all of them. Kristen tells Brittany that Jax is lucky she didn’t shove her stiletto down his throat and up his ass. Alrighty then. I hope she’s on my side in a fight. Inside, Jax calls for shots. Tom tells Scheana they don’t know for sure, and Jax says he’s not going to chase her down the street. Scheana says he should; her heart is broken, and he doesn’t deserve her.

James tells them that Faith missed her period. In his interview, Jax says this kind of sh*t ruins people’s lives. Like he didn’t have anything to do with it. Brittany thought he was changing for her, but if this is true, she’s punching him in his fake nose.

At Villa Rosa, Fadi the car broker brings Lisa a new offering from Ken. She tells us that she doesn’t like to be brattish in saying outright that she wants something, but is very good at hinting. Stassi drops by, and admires the car. In her interview, she says if being good at sex means a Rolls Royce, she must not be good, and needs to step it up.

Lisa asks what’s going on. She heard Stassi is interested in event planning. Stassi says she loves styling, decorating, and throwing parties, and event planning is like styling an atmosphere. If she’s going to learn from anyone, it’s Lisa. She wants to see if she’s cut out for this. Lisa says she’s extraordinarily bright, but a pita, and we flash back to Stassi being just that. Lisa thinks she definitely has a sense of style, something that can’t be taught; it has to be inherent. She asks Stassi to organize part of the restaurant for a party on Saturday. Stassi mentions that she’s gotten back together with Patrick. Lisa asks why not Jax? They discuss the situation with Brittany. Stassi says Jax is lucky she wasn’t at the party. She’s always wanted to impale someone, and put their head on a spike in her apartment. Lisa doesn’t get what the attraction is, and Stassi says Jax tells women what they want to hear. Lisa says he did the same thing to her, and Stassi says it’s a weird time to think about.

Brittany says too many people know about it and she has to tell her mom. Katie says she’s the last person who deserves this. She doesn’t know why he does this when he has perfect girl. She thinks he has a serious problem. She talks about the problems they’ve had, and how she found fake eyelashes on the counter. She wonders what’s wrong with her, and Katie tells Brittany that it wouldn’t matter; he would do this to anyone. Brittany says she’s going to Vegas. She’s single and is going to act like it.

Jax sticks his head in the room, but Brittany doesn’t want to look at him. He insists he didn’t do anything. and says someone is trying to sabotage him. He shows Brittany some texts, which don’t make things any better, and probably make them worse. She throws the phone at him, and says she hates him. He doesn’t deserve her. She moved, and left her family for him. She’s done. She hates him. Brittany cries on Katie’s shoulder, and Jax leaves.

James and Raquel go to PUMP. Lisa has funny sense of déjà vu, seeing Raquel’s super short short-shorts. We flash back to Brittany wearing similar ones when she had her job interview. James says the party was fun, but Lisa doesn’t quite agree. He says Raquel is interested in working at Vanderpump Pets. Harrison! Lisa asks what she does as a job, and Raquel says she’s a model and goes to school for kinesiology (it’s strange and complicated – google it). Lisa says it would probably be better if she volunteered. The volunteers do the brushing, walking, and cleaning up. In her interview, Lisa says Raquel is going to be on her knees with a scooper. She sarcastically tells Raquel to wear shorter shorts, and Raquel promises to dress appropriately for work.

James asks if he could take over SUR one night. Lisa says she thought the meeting wasn’t about him, and he says he thought he’d kill two birds with one stone, since she’s so busy. In his interview, James says he misses working for Lisa. In her interview, Lisa calls him a pita, but says she thought he’d come back, and hopefully be more mature. She might give it a try, but she’s not going to make it easy. He’s going to have to start at the bottom and work up. She gives him a maybe for Tuesdays.

It’s Ariana’s brother Jeremy’s birthday. Schwartz says it’s second party Katie wasn’t invited to that he’s attended in less than twelve hours. Ariana says Schwartz is schwasted. He never stopped drinking since he started at Scheana’s party, and at a certain point, it’s not cute. Tom gives Jeremy their house keys. In his interview, he says last time Jeremy interrupted their sex life, but they’re going through a dry spell now, and he might as well join the priesthood. James can’t believe Faith didn’t come.

Brit goes home, and talks to the dogs, but not Jax. He tries to talk to her, and she tells him to go away, then asks if he had her in their bed. He says no one has been there, and she calls him a liar. He can keep denying all he wants; he just looks like an idiot. She says to tell her the truth, and he says it is true. She tells him to rot in hell, and I’m totally on board with that. She talks about another time in their relationship when she went through months of denial. She asks why do that, and he says it was a bad time. Brittany says that when you love someone, you don’t do that. She didn’t do that to him, and would never do that to him. In her interview, he says they’ve been fighting for a long time, and we flash back to him being an a-hole in Kentucky. She hopes it was worth it. Wow. This is making me sad. Even though I can’t stand him, I feel badly for her. Brittany cries, as she holds one of the dogs. Seriously. She’s breaking my heart.

Pride Day is tomorrow, and Tom thinks it’s important that they go. He wants to surprise Lisa. He wants to do whatever it takes to keep the partnership alive. He says Jax has had a rough 24-hours. Oh, poor baby. Schwartz mumbles about Stockholm Syndrome. Ariana says Brittany deserves the world, or at least her boyfriend not screwing her friends. James tells them about Faith not getting her period. Tom wonders when Jax will stop pulling this sh*t.

Schwartz talks to Jax on the phone. Tom hunts him down. He tells Schwartz that he’s mad at Jax, and Schwartz starts crying, saying he’s been struggling. Tom says talk to him. Schwartz says, first of all, he’s drunk – ha-ha! Yeah, drunk and weepy. It’s the first time in his life he has no drive. Tom says Schwartz is his friend, and he’d never let anything happen to him. In his interview, Schwartz says he has all these new pressures, like being a husband. He tells Tom that he’s always anticipating a bad future. Tom says they’ll open up the bar,and it will be amazing. Schwartz is an awesome person, and it’s a privilege to know him. Schwartz says it goes both ways, and I lmao because they are both so drunk, and in that teary, sappy phase. In his interview, Schwartz hopes Lisa forgives Tom. Schwartz needs structure and stability to move on to the next chapter.

Brittany calls her mother, and says she needs her. She tells her mom about Jax, and that she’s going to Vegas. She slams the picture of them from her nightstand onto the floor. She says she should have known better, and just needed to tell her. Brittany’s mom says she loves her, and tells her to call back later. Brittany leaves for Vegas. In her interview, Brittany says she seriously thought she was going to marry Jax. She wanted it bad, and the thought of him cheating makes her want to cry. She tells us that you don’t treat someone like this if you love them, and he obviously doesn’t. Jax watches as she gets in a car. What an a-hole this guy is. I hope he dies alone.

It’s the Long Beach Gay Pride parade, and no surprise, Lisa is Grand Marshal. I don’t even think there can be a parade without LVP. Ken does the driving, and Lisa says she feels a lot of love. Everyone is being themselves, and that should be what life is about. Simply, and well put, and I agree. She sees Tom and Ariana, and asks where Schwartz is. He’s in the bathroom. Lisa makes a speech, but we don’t get to hear it. Ken asks about Jax, and Tom says he’s a mess. When he saw him last, he was in the fetal position on the couch. Tom says he loves Brittany, and Lisa says don’t defend him; he’ll look ridiculous. Tom says at least Jax admitted it. In her interview, Lisa says she’s not enamored of Jax’s eff-ups, and hopes Brittany dumps him. We visit the leather tent. In his interview, Tom says he really doesn’t understand BDS&M, but since they’re going through a dry spell, maybe there’s something to it. He asks Ariana if she thinks it might solve some of their issues, and she discusses exploring it with some dude who I guess is an expert. In her interview, Ariana tells us about some of the problems she and Tom are having, including him wanting to go to karaoke six nights a week, which I find nothing wrong with.

Ariana says when she lived in NYC, Pride Day always fell on her birthday. Lisa asks about Brittany, and Ariana tells her that Brittany is in Vegas. She’s disgusted, and wants to move on. Tom babbles about Jax loving her, and how he can’t help himself. Lisa says Jax has a different definition of love. Don’t tell her, show her. Yep. Take note, mostly men. Tom apologizes about criticizing her part in the restaurant. He says he just wants to get the bullsh*t out of the way. Lisa says show her. In her interview, she says she doesn’t need their expertise or their money. She doesn’t need anything from them, but the feel good factor.

Kristen visits Stassi, and asks if she’s excited for tonight. Stassi says when she started feeling romantic again, she felt like people would judge her for going back to Patrick. Kristen thinks she and Patrick get each other, and wants to start planning the wedding; she loves them together. Patrick comes in. He’s wearing a man bun, which immediately makes me cringe, since Josh from Sweet Home Oklahoma is the only man I’ll accept wearing one. Stassi says she missed their joking and laughing – and his man bun. She says he’s like a warrior; like someone from out of Game of Thrones. Double no, just no.

Brittany goes to work. Ariana says she looks tan and gorgeous. Brittany says Vegas was awesome. Ariana asks how she’s been, but she doesn’t know. She has different feelings. Sometimes she’s sad, sometimes she’s mad, and she’s heartbroken. She said she was going to act single, but everybody grossed her out. Scheana says it’s been six months, and she’s not ready yet, but acts like she is. Brittany says she just wants to be alone, and clear her mind. Everyone is supportive.

In the limo, Patrick says he’s trying to keep everyone happy, and Stassi says she’s trying to keep him happy. He tells her the outfit is helping. She’s wearing a slinky, strapless, low-cut black jumpsuit that looks fantastic on her. They go to a restaurant, and when they order, I almost find it cute that they say the same thing at the same time. Almost. Stassi tells Patrick about talking to Lisa regarding event planning. He asks if she has ideas, and she says she’s watched a million YouTube videos. She says listening to his podcast makes her insecure about hers. She wants him to hear hers, and tell her what she’s doing wrong. He says somehow hers got turned into a juggernaut, then has to explain that word, along with a couple of others he uses. In her interview, Stassi says she’s never been in a dating situation where she wasn’t the smart one.

Patrick tells her that she’s a really good person, batsh*t crazy, and uber talented. He’s taking a trip to Amsterdam, and says it will be a good experience for him. Getting back together taught them a lesson: don’t talk when you’re apart, and when you’re back together, don’t talk about what happened when you were apart. In her interview, Stassi says she wants it to work, but she’s terrified it’s not going to because she wants it so badly. She thinks getting back together is more of an emotional commitment than first time they got together. Patrick says she’s freaking him out. In her interview, Stassi says she’s willing to fight for the relationship.

Jax arrives at SUR for his shift, and asks Tom how Pride was. Tom says he got handcuffed and whipped. He kind of likes it, so Ariana got one. Brittany comes to the bar, and asks Tom for a cocktail, sort of ignoring Jax. Saying nothing, but shooting daggers with her eyes. Jax wants to talk, but not at work. Tom says it’s not a good idea.

Brittany steps away, and Lisa asks how she is. Brittany says it’s a weird situation. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Lisa tells her that she’s young; sh*t happens

Tom tells Jax it’s not easy all the time. Jax wants to work on it, but says he needs therapy. Tom suggests he make up an overnight bag, get his sh*t together, and get out of the apartment.

Lisa tells Brittany that she has a lot of support. Jax is the only a-hole in the situation. She hopes Brittany has the strength to make the right choices. She tells Brittany that she’ll be fine. The girls rally around her.  hopes trangth to make right chocies tells her she’ll be fine the girls rally around her

Jax says there’s no one better to tell him how to run a relationship. Tom says he put himself in the situation, and now everyone is pissed at him, including him. Brittany’s emotions are like a roller coaster, and she needs time to think. Tom tells him to give her some space. Jax doesn’t think she really wants to leave him, but Tom begs to differ.

Brittany tells the girls that she did something stupid in a moment of weakness. They had sex. I go, arrrgh! out loud. Brittany says she wanted affection. In her interview, she wishes she could stop loving him; it would be easier for her, but she can’t, and she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Next time, Schwartz apologizes to Lisa and Ken, Stassi throws a party with a Jax piñata, and Lala is back.

😱 A horrifying postscript – Brittany and Jax are back together. He was a guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight. He said he’s “a work in progress.” I’m surprised he didn’t get rotten tomatoes thrown at him.

😊 On the other hand. RelationShep is very sweet. I think Shep is good-hearted, and maybe realizes he doesn’t want to grow old alone. It’s fun watching him travel around too. I especially loved seeing Austin, a place I’d love to visit. In the next phase, several of the girls he’s had dates with will come to Charleston, where they’ll live in the same house, much like The Bachelor. It looks like there will be some drama, but I think Shep deserves to find what he’s looking for. He also gave a couple of good quotes…

I like very pretty brunettes. I guess everybody does. That was a stupid comment. – Shep Rose, RelationShep

That’s when the cows come home to roost. – Shep Rose, RelationShep