What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante sits with Sam at the MetroCourt Garden, and asks if she’s sure she wants to do this. She says she is. She figured he’d want his old friend Cody to see the best of Port Charles, considering the rude reception he’s had so far. Dante says, Cody is a good guy. It’s been good catching up with him, but he got in a lot of trouble when they were kids, and he’s still out doing the same thing now. Cody arrives, apologizing for being late, and Dante asks if his ribs are still bothering him, but Cody says, better every day. Sam says, he really took a beating. Is he sure he doesn’t want to see another doctor? He says, there is one doc he wouldn’t mind seeing again.

Britt meets Brad at the MetroCourt bar, and she orders a lemonade. He asks if she’s still taking a break from the booze, and she says she’d like to avoid the possibility of another GIF. He says, she knows how sorry he is about that, and she says she does, but she wouldn’t mind hearing it again. Spencer walks in, and she says, he’s the last person she needs right now. She asks Brad to be a friend and get rid of him for her, and Brad says, on it. Brad intercepts Spencer on his way to the bar, and tells him, don’t make a scene. The lady doesn’t want to be disturbed. Spencer says, who? Britt? He wasn’t looking for her. He saw Brad’s post on social media about meeting up with his bestie. He’s looking for Brad. He needs help with his girlfriend. Brad tells him, that sentence has never been said to him before. Color him intrigued.

Rory lies on a chaise by the pool, when Esme approaches, and says, Officer Cabrera, if I were a cop, I’d pull you over. He asks, what’s the charge? and she says, arson of course (🍷). He is looking muy caliente (very hot). He says, is he now?

Curtis asks where Trina is off to, and she says she’s meeting Joss, and before he asks, no. They’re going to try and meet the guy who sold Esme the phone. He says he’s not second guessing her instincts. In fact, he and her father had quite the talk about it. She says, good, because the time for talk is over. She needs to do something, and she needs to do it now. She hands him an envelope.

Brando looks through some tools, when Gladys comes into the garage. She says, to think her gorgeous and talented son would rather be up to his elbows in engine grease than become a tycoon in a downtown high-rise. She’d settle if he were a philan… philanth… He says, philodendron? and she says, that’s a plant. Philanthropist. That’s it. Come on. His wife is rolling in the big Deception bucks. He can do anything he wants now. He kisses her on the cheek, and says he is doing what he wants, and he’s happy. She says, because his wife is rolling in all that money? but he says, no. Because she’s just Sasha, and that’s all he wants. That’s all he needs.

Sasha tells Michael, Willow only fainted for a moment; Dr. Obrecht was there to help revive her, and Sonny was a big help getting her here. If they’d left it up to Willow, she would have insisted on going home. He thanks Sasha for overruling her in and bringing her here, but if anything is seriously wrong with Willow, he blames himself.

Willow asks if TJ is sure, and he says, there’s no doubt about it. She’s pregnant. It’s so nice to be able to give good news. This is good news, isn’t it? She says, she just wasn’t expecting him to say… He says, that she’s expecting, because she is. She asks how far along she is, and he says, just a few weeks. She says, but the last time she fainted was three months ago, so why did she pass out then? He says he doesn’t have to tell her this, calling her Nurse Tate, but there are many reasons. They’ll see what comes from the other tests. She thanks him, and he asks if she has any other questions. She says, just one. Where’s Michael?

Sasha asks, how is this Michael’s fault Willow fainted? and he says, this isn’t the first time. And given all the stress Willow’s been under, ever since she found out Harmony’s not her mom, he should have made things easier for her. Instead, it’s been all stress and tension. First the hearing about Nina and Wiley… She says, Nina initiated the hearing, not him, and he says, then there was the whole ELQ battle going on. They were supposed to go to Paris, and he punched a reporter in the face, then they had to postpone that… He’s making this all about himself, isn’t he? (No surprise.) He bets Sasha doesn’t miss all the Corinthos drama, and she says she thinks they both got lucky. He found Willow, and she found Brando.

Brando tells Gladys, he’s not trading his garage for some desk job, and not Sasha, not himself, not even Sonny wants him to sign on with Corinthos Coffee. She says, he misunderstands her. Sure she has her own dreams for her child – what parent doesn’t? – but she’s learned a lot since they first came to Port Charles, and the Corinthos name only takes you so far. Not to mention, at a price. He laughs, and says, wow. That took a while, but he’s glad she finally understands that. She says she admires that he wants to be his own boss and his own man, and he says he appreciates her vote of confidence. She says, but listen. Since Deception went public and his wife landed in a different tax bracket, something has to change. He says, if this isn’t about the garage, what is this about? and she says, his poor mother toiling as Brook’s assistant. That woman gives her so much grief, she’s thinking it’s time to give her two-week notice.

Trina says, now it’s official, her court date’s been set, and Curtis says, we’d better get to work fast. Trina says, we? She appreciates that, but didn’t he give up his P.I. license? He says he did, but he’s not giving up on her. Marshall comes in, and says, it sounds like they could use some help. Where does he sign up?

Esme asks Rory if the chaise next to him is taken, as she plops her bag onto it. She asks pool guy for a lemonade. Actually, make that two; one for her, and one for PC’s finest. Rory says, she’s buying him a drink? Why? So he can fix a parking ticket for her? She says she doesn’t have a car. She usually just takes Ride Shares, but she’d never dream of bribing an officer. However, she does have a favor he might be able to help her with. He says, he knew it. That lemonade comes with strings attached. What is it she thinks he can do for her? She says she’s planning on graduating from PCU with a degree in psychology, with a concentration on abnormal psyche. He says, she aims high, calling her Miss Prince, and she tells him to call her Esme; all her friends do. And he’s right, she does aim high. He says he’s not sure how he can help her, and she tells him, let her explain. Up until recently, she was an intern at Spring Ridge minimum security prison, where the notorious Ryan Chamberlain is a prisoner. He says, he’s aware, and she says, then he’s also aware of Ryan’s condition. He’s trapped inside his body. His mind’s still there, but he has limited communication. However, she’d been using a letterboard to be able to communicate with him and reach him, until Kevin Collins, Ryan’s twin brother and her boyfriend’s step-grandfather stopped her from seeing him altogether. Rory asks why he’d do that, and she tells him, Doc says it’s for her own safety, but she knows better. He has it out for her. He says, even if that’s true, he’s not sure what she’s asking him to do, and she says she was hoping someone with a better grasp of the law could help her formulate a way back in.

Spencer says, Brad used to work in the lab at GH, right? and Brad says, yeah, so? Spencer says, so he needs Brad’s help. He’d be willing to pay him for his expertise. Brad says he doesn’t follow. What does his expertise have to do with Spencer’s girlfriend? Britt joins them, and says, that is a good question, and Brad says he thought she wanted him to handle this guy. She says she changed her mind, and Spencer says, great. He could use her help too. She says, enough with the double-talk. If he doesn’t leave in 20 seconds, she’ll throw him out.

Sam tells Cody not to take this the wrong way, but for a guy who’s just in town for a few days, he’s found himself his fair share of trouble, and she’s not just talking about the guys who beat him up. She’s got the feeling Britt would like to sue Cody for all he’s worth. Cody says, she’s more than welcome to try, but he doesn’t have anything to give her. He laughs, and stops abruptly, and Dante says, he’s obviously still in pain. Why don’t they ID the guys who beat him up? Cody says, he appreciates the offer, but like he said… Dante says, the alleyway was dark, he couldn’t make out the faces, but maybe he’ll pick the wrong game next time and end up in the morgue instead of an alley. Spinelli comes over to their table, and says, Samantha and Dante; always a delight. Sam introduces Cody as Dante’s childhood friend, and this is… Cody says, Damien Spinelli, and Dante asks if they know each other. Cody says, very well. Should he tell them, or does Spinelli want to? Come on. They might as well come clean. When he parachuted into the MetroCourt pool, Mr. Spinelli reached out to him, and offered him help. Dante asks, help doing what? and Cody says, Spinelli is apparently an expert in directional finders and can pinpoint calculations. At least he claims to be. He said he’ll make Cody’s next jump a lot safer for everyone. Did he get that right? Spinelli says, that is right; he couldn’t have said it better himself. Happy landings to him, and with that, he must depart. Sam grabs him, and says, he’s not going anywhere.

Spencer says he thought Britt would know by now, he doesn’t respond well to threats, and she says, he’s intruding on a rare day off for her. Getting rid of him isn’t a threat; it’s a promise. He says, fine. So she wants him to cut to the chase? Tell her why he’s here? He was offering Brad a business proposition. Brad says he doesn’t believe… and Britt says, don’t believe Spencer is any kind of innocent. She helped Spencer identify a medication that belonged to his friend, and all she got in return was a verbal slap in the face about what a pathetic single she was. Spencer asks Brad to give them a moment; it’s clear he needs to make an apology. Brad says he’ll be at the bar if Britt needs him, and Spencer says, understood. Brad leaves, and Britt says, make it fast, but Spencer says, there’s no fast way to tell her how truly sorry he is for the horrible and hurtful things he said to her. He’s truly embarrassed by his behavior. He’s always considered her a genuine friend of his, and he went out of his way to try and hurt her. That was thoughtless and cruel, and he’s sorry. If she never wanted to speak to him again, he’d understand. He’s sorry. She says, it almost sounds like he has remorse; very unCassadine like. He says he means it. He was way out of line when he threw her love life, or lack thereof, in her face. She says she always thought they had a real connection too, so why was he so brutal to her? Does he have any idea what that did to her? He says, it sent her to a singles mixer where she got knocked into the pool by a skydiver. He saw the GIF. She says, him, and thousands of others, and he says, please believe him. There is so much more to this story than she knows, and he knows that in the adult world there is no such thing as a do-over, but boy, would he like a second chance right now. She says, he’s right about one thing. There’s no such thing as a do-over for adults, and as lovely as that apology was – and it sounds like he meant it – let’s get real. As long as he’s hooked up with the likes of Esme Prince, she can’t trust him.

Pool guy brings the lemonades, and Esme gives him a tip. She tells Rory that she believes in tipping well. Doesn’t he agree? He says, very generous, and she says, except when the staff isn’t allowed to accept them; that’s very awkward. She went to school in Europe, so she’s still learning the American ways. He says, then let him give her some free advice. The help she’s looking for, to find a workaround to get back into Spring Ridge? She needs a lawyer, not a cop. She says, in her experience, lawyers are expensive, and they bill by the hour, whereas cops get things done. The saying is true; there’s something about a man in uniform. He says, just to be clear, he’s off-duty and out of uniform, but she says, that doesn’t mean he can’t help a citizen in distress, right? She loved her work at Spring Ridge, and she’s determined to keep working there, but how can she do that if Doc won’t give her a chance? He says he’s not sure she knows this, but he’s a rookie cop, and has basically zero power. She says, so he won’t help her, and he remembers Trina saying that she and Joss were tracking down proof that Esme framed her. He tells Esme, he can’t help her, but he knows someone who can. She says, really? That would be great. He says, just give him her phone, and he’ll put his friend’s number into it.

Michael says, it’s obvious Sasha and Brando found happiness. Not to mention everything she’s done as the Face of Deception; that is an out of the ballpark success. She says she’s only a partner because he negotiated such a great deal for her, and he says, his pleasure. Deception is lucky to have her. He’s seen her photos everywhere, and word on the street is, she’s going to be on the Home and Heart Network. That is amazing; he’s proud of everything she’s accomplished. She tells him that’s sweet of him to say, when TJ comes out and says, Willow is asking to see him. Michael says, she’s okay? and TJ says he thinks so, but it’s better for Michael to see for himself. Michael heads for the exam room, and Sasha tells TJ, that was pretty vague answer. Should she stick around just in case? He says, Michael and Willow have a lot to discuss, but once they’re done, he thinks Willow would enjoy her company. She’s in room 1001. He walks away, and sees Deanna. He asks her to set up an OB consult for 1001, and she says, of course (🍷), doctor.

Michael hugs Willow, and tells her, TJ said she wanted to talk to him. He said he thinks she’s okay, but didn’t give him any details. Willow says, it was thoughtful of TJ to let her break the news herself. She does have something to tell him.

Sam asks Spinelli, what the big rush? and Cody says, they’re all friends here, or will be. Spinelli says he needs to take a raincheck because… he needs to go. It’s a work thing. In his business, it’s either feast or famine, and duty calls. He jets, and Cody says, nice guy. Crazy smart; a bit skittish though. His phone dings, and he says, dammit. Sam says, problem? and he says, remember that gig he had lined up? He just lost it. Dante says, that’s okay. Cody can just stick around here a little longer. Cody says, he told Dante, he doesn’t want his charity, but Dante says, his couch isn’t charity. He’s not inviting Cody to camp out indefinitely; just until he finds something. Cody flashes back on Dante telling him about Britt, and that her father is Faison, and he says, you know what? Maybe sticking around isn’t such a bad idea. He can try and find a job here. He’s going to take Dante up on his offer.

Spencer says he’s honestly sorry for the things he said to Britt, but she tells him not to try so hard. The more he apologizes, the less effective it is. He says, there’s the Britt he knows and loves, and the truth is, if there’s anyone he can confide in, it’s her, because she’s always been honest with him, even if it hurts. She says, okay, but he leaves Brad out of this. Tell her what he needs, and she’ll let him know if she can help.

Esme asks what’s Rory’s friend’s name and number, and he asks if she’s afraid to give him her phone. He wonders how she can ask for his help, and actively not trust him, when Trina walks in. She asks, what’s going on? and Esme says, that’s exactly what she’d like to know.

Curtis opens the door to TJ, who says he’s here to see how his grandfather is doing. They hug, and Marshall says, he’ll be better once they figure out how to prove Trina’s innocence. TJ asks if it was Curtis’s idea to work together, and Marshall says, they’re family; they should work together. TJ says, absolutely not, and asks Curtis if he’s right, but Curtis says, actually, he’s wrong. Trina needs all the help they can muster, and put an end to this once and for all.

Brando advises Gladys against quitting her job, but Gladys says, why not? It’s beneath her; way beneath her. She already has everything she needs. He says he loves her, but this is not a permanent situation, and she tells him, she never said it was, but as long as Sasha is mourning little Liam… He says he and Sasha have to carry that for the rest of their lives, and they have to figure out how. And hopefully one day, they’ll have another child. In the meantime, they need time and space to get back to normal. She asks if she needs to remind him that Sasha’s version of normal includes the temptation to fall back on those pills, but he says, Sasha swears that’s in her past, and he believes her. He asks if this is really about Gladys needing to feel needed.

On the hospital phone, Deanna orders an OB consult for room 1001, and Sasha overhears. She says, Willow’s room, and on the phone, Deanna says, sometimes she can’t help but envy them. Confirming to a woman that she’s pregnant has to be their favorite part of the job. Sasha hurries into the elevator, and holds her stomach, looking teary.

Michael tells Willow, they’ll get a second or third opinion, whatever it takes, but she says she doesn’t think that will be necessary. He says, she’s trying to be strong, but she doesn’t have to be. Whatever it is, they’ll get through it together. She says she would hope so. She’s not sick; she’s pregnant.   

Dante says, not that he doesn’t want Cody to stay, but he wants to make sure the reason isn’t to get revenge on Britt. He says, he’s a lover, not a fighter, and Sam asks if he’s met someone in town, but he says, nothing like that. Right now, he just wants to sit in the sun and let his poor battered body heal, but he can’t afford a pool pass. Sam says, he doesn’t need one. just tell them he’s her guest, and he thanks her. He says he’s going to check it out now if that’s cool, and leaves. Dante says that was nice of her, and Sam says, Cody is Dante’s friend, but he says, what else is going on? She says she figured while Cody was lying in the sun, they could figure out why Spinelli was so anxious to get away from him.

Outside on the phone, Spinelli tells Zelda that Cody was causing trouble again… There must be a way they can rid themselves of him. Cody comes out, and says, there is. Hang up, and Cody will tell him.

Spencer and Britt sit at a table, and he says he doesn’t know how much Britt knows about Esme’s background. She was adopted as a baby, and her adoptive parents died when she was still a kid. Britt says she had no idea, and he says, she’s desperate to find her biological parents. He’s no shrink, but he suspects not knowing who she really is and where she came from is the root of all of her problems. If they had a DNA test done that could determine her parentage, it might make all the difference. Britt says, so this is some kind of gift for his girlfriend? and he says, you could think of it like that. What if they had two DNA samples to compare? She asks if he’s saying he has them, but he says, nope; he’s saying what if. Before they go any further, he needs to know, will she help him?

Trina asks why it looks like Rory and Esme had their heads together, and he says, Esme was just picking his brain to see if there was a way to continue her internship at Spring Ridge. He told her that he couldn’t help, but knew someone who could. Esme lounges in the sun, and he talks a little louder. He says he offered to put his name and number in her phone, but Esme wouldn’t trust him with her phone. Can Trina believe that? Esme says she’s had enough sun for today. He’s all Trina’s. She leaves, and Trina asks what she just walked in on. Rory says, a beginning. Esme knows that he knows what she knows. Trina says, he told her? but he says, he served notice. There’s a big difference.

Curtis asks who Marshall is calling, and Marshall says, Jack, his trumpet player. He asks Jack, what’s cracking?… No, sorry. He’s not calling about a gig, although he does have a request. It’s not a musical one though. Is Jack still plugged in like that?… Yeah. Black market commodities… Cellphones. Can’t be traced; no questions asked. TJ tells Curtis, some people have grandfathers who read them bedtime stories, and Curtis says, he’s not mad at Marshall for pulling out all the stops. Trina’s future’s at stake, and it looks like TJ’s grandfather is just the right man. Marshall says, he’s listening… Tell him something he can use.

Sasha approaches the garage, and hears Gladys say, don’t you know by now I see Sasha as my daughter? Whatever’s good enough for the two of them is good enough for her. And if Brando doesn’t believe her, maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s time she moved out. Sasha goes inside, and says, nobody wants her to move out. She and Brando are counting on her, aren’t they? Brando tells her, whatever you say, and Gladys says, Mrs. Meyerson’s son Harold won the lottery. And what was the first thing he did? Got his mom a condo in Boca. So if they want to be rid of her, she’s up for a condo. Brando says, nobody wants to get rid of her, and asks if Sasha didn’t just take Willow to the hospital. How is she?

Willow tells Michael, say something, and he asks if she’s sure she’s pregnant; they’ve been so careful. She says she thought so too. Still, it happens. He wonders what he’s doing, and says, she’s pregnant, and hugs her. She says, he doesn’t have to pretend for her. Is it something he wants? He asks what she means, and she says, the plan was for her to graduate nursing school, and be a nurse for a few years. Does he want this baby? He says he’s still processing everything. Obviously, they’re not married. Wiley’s been their whole world. They haven’t even discussed giving him a sibling, but hell yes. He hugs her again, and says, wait. Does she want this baby?

Dante tells Sam, Cody’s a pretty charming guy; makes a lot of jokes, makes a lot of friends. The trouble he finds himself in, or creates, he’s always able to handle the consequences, good or bad. She says, yeah, but Dante knew him a long time ago. Does he think Cody is the same way? He says, seems to be, but it’s weird. It seems like he’s got to settle down, stop drifting. She says, who knows? Maybe he’ll stick around long enough to find a partner as wonderful as Dante did. Dante says, there’s no way lightning can strike twice like that.

Spinelli says, he won’t be subject to another shakeup, and Cody says he’s pretty sure it’s a shakedown, but relax. He isn’t trying to milk Spinelli for more money. Spinelli asks what he wants, and Cody says, think of it as an investment. Spinelli says, in what? and Cody says, in yours truly. Here’s what Spinelli is going to do.

Trina and Rory sit down, and Trina says she knows he’s a cop, and he’s had all kinds of training, but when it comes to Esme, he needs to watch out. She’s wickedly smart, emphasis on wicked. He says he appreciates the heads up, but doesn’t she have enough on her plate? Her case is going to trial soon, right? Trina says, unfortunately, yes. She thought she’d be excited to see her day in court, but she still doesn’t have proof Esme set her up. He says, until she walks into that courtroom, every second counts.

Spencer walks into the pool area, and Esme says she’s so happy to see him, and throws her arms around him. He sees Trina with Rory, and Esme asks, what’s wrong?

Marshall tells Jack that he’s more down than four flat tires. He’s the best. Marshall knew he could count on him. He’ll talk to Jack soon. He tells Curtis and TJ that he’s got the name and address of a guy who deals in black market cellphones. Curtis says he’s impressed with Marshall’s network of people, and Marshall says, Curtis knows how the music business is. It’s not the most stable industry. Everyone got to have a ham or a hustle to survive. Curtis says he supposes so. He just needs that name and address. Marshall says, nice try, and tells TJ to tell his uncle, he ain’t goin’ nowhere without him.

Willow says, does she want this baby? Is Michael kidding? Ever since her mom… Ever since Harmony died, and she found out Harmony wasn’t her biological mother, all she’s done is stress. So when she fainted again, in the back of her mind, she expected TJ to tell her it was a serious illness. When he told her she was pregnant, it was the last thing she expected, but after the initial shock, she thought back to the first time she ever held Wiley, and how incredibly happy she was. Now their family is expanding. She didn’t know her heart could get any bigger, but it did, Suddenly, there’s not just room for him and Wiley, she’s in love with a baby she’s never met. She doesn’t know if it’s a girl or a boy, she doesn’t know its name or what it looks like, but she’s in love. He says, so is he, and she says, Wiley will always be their firstborn, and always have a special place in her heart, but she’s pregnant with Michael’s baby – their baby. She’s never wanted anything more in her life. He picks her up, and spins her around.

Brando says, Sasha looks upset. What did the doctor say about Willow? Is she sick? Sasha says, no, she doesn’t know. Michael is with her now. All she knows is, TJ said it isn’t serious. Gladys says she thinks it’s time they head home. She made a lasagna earlier. All she has to do is heat it up, unless her rich daughter-in-law wants to spring for dinner at the Port Charles Grill; she can throw the lasagna in the freezer. Brando says, Gladys knows he loves her lasagna, and Sasha’s phone rings. She says she needs to take this, and suggests they go on home. Her car’s out front. Brando says, okay; he’ll see her later. They leave, and she answers, saying, what do you want? Felty asks if that’s any way greet an old friend, and she flashes back to him telling her that he has a connection and can get her what she needs. It’ll be their little secret. She says, okay. She’s listening

Sam says she hopes Cody realizes how lucky he is to have a friend like Dante, but Dante says, he’s the lucky one; he has her. Things have changed. When they were kids, he envied Cody and the way he got around people. She asks, what’s different about today? and he says, today he doesn’t envy Cody at all, and hugs her

Spinelli tells Cody, he can’t do that. It’s so… manipulative. Cody says, it’s nothing compared to what he’s already seen Spinelli do. Do this one little thing for him, and they’re square. Spinelli says he doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt, and Cody asks if he looks like the kind of guy who goes around hurting people. Trust him. When this is all done, and his ship comes in, everyone will come out ahead.

Britt rejoins Brad, who says, her lemonade just like she ordered. Unless she’d like a sidecar of tequila and a saltshaker. She says, don’t tempt her, and he says he can only assume Spencer’s the one who’s got her wavering. She says, he needs help, if he’s going to get his girlfriend what she wants. He says, she turned Spencer down, right? and she says she could lie and say she did but against her better judgement, she said yes.

Trina says, she’s not warning Rory because she thinks he’s naïve or gullible. She’s warning him because that’s how awful Esme is. He doesn’t want to make an enemy out of Esme, and he’s already stuck his neck out once for Trina. He really shouldn’t get involved. He says, it’s a little late for that, and by the door, Esme tells Spencer, look at that. Maybe Trina has finally moved on from obsessing about him. Spencer continues to watch them.

Curtis says he sees he’s not going to get anywhere trying to talk Marshall out of this, and Marshall says, he’s learning. Like Curtis said, the clock’s ticking. Are they going to do this? He holds out his fist, and Curtis bumps it, saying, they’re in this together. TJ adds his bump, and says, whatever they need. Anything for Trina.

Willow tells Michael, this is so new, and so unexpected. It’s more than she ever let herself dream about. She has him and Wiley and now… their very own baby. She can’t ask for anything more. He says, neither can he.

Sasha asks what Felty cares if she’s on the Home and Heart channel? and he says he doesn’t really give a damn, but her adoring public does. To cover her appearance, he needs credentials, and for some strange reason, they won’t grant him access. She says, imagine that, and he says he knew this was a waste of time; thanks for nothing. She says, wait, and flashes back to saying goodbye to Liam. She says, maybe she can help him… if he can help her in return.

Tomorrow, Spencer tells Cameron that he found out who Esme’s biological mother is; Olivia tells Carly that she’s buying Carly’s half of the hotel; and Brook needs Sonny to take care of a sleazeball named Linc.

Southern Charm

Taylor cleans up little, and Shep tells Little Craig that he’s in trouble; he’s chewed his last toy. Taylor asks what Shep was talking about with Craig at the party, and he says he thought Craig was going to apologize, and say he’d been less than desirable as a friend, but he kept deflecting. Taylor asks if Paige knew about Craig sleeping with Naomie, and he says, Craig told her, but someone implied it wasn’t just Vegas; that it’s been a low key ongoing thing. Taylor asks, who? and he says, Kathryn.

Paige tells Craig that she chased vodka with tequila, and it was a bad idea. He says, she talked to Naomie a lot, and she says, obviously it’s not the most comfortable thing. Naomie and Craig slept together over the summer, but she’s not in high school, and she’s not going to not acknowledge someone. Everyone has an ex. He says, so it was nothing unsettling? and she says, no. She’d think it was a red flag if he and Naomie didn’t get along.

Chleb’s mom Debbie calls while he’s driving, and he asks if she wants to grab a drink, but she says she’s spending night at his Aunt Rita’s house. She has things do. She goes on and on about people we don’t know, and Chleb keeps trying to interrupt. He says, he needs to talk to her, and she says, so talk, but he tells her, now he forgot what he wanted to say. In his interview, he admits he’s a mama’s boy. His mom is a strong woman. She was a single mom, who taught them the value of hard work. She gave him the drive to get a football scholarship. He played football in Canada, but got hurt at the end of his contract, and retired by 28, but life takes you in differently directions. He’s fine with it. He tells Debbie that he and Kathryn got into it; it was kind of stupid. Kathryn flipped a little at her party. Debbie asks, what happened? and we see a clip of Kathryn telling Chleb that it triggered her when he said Venita wanted to talk to her. She felt like he wasn’t on her team, even though she’s on his. Chleb says, she doesn’t like a lot of people, and that’s not the way he rolls. He has no problem with any of his friends, but he feels like she has a problem with most of hers. Kathryn asks if he has a problem with her now, and he says, there’s a problem between them because she doesn’t trust everyone, and he deals with the stress of that. You could go to any of his friends, and ask if he’s ever a problem, and they’d say, no; but if you asked her friends, they’d say, Kathryn is the problem. She tells him to walk away from her, and he says, he’s getting out. He tells Debbie, that’s where they’re at now, and she says, she understands. He says, when they moved in together, all hell broke loose. She’s Mrs. Petty. In Chleb’s interview, he says, it was easy when they weren’t living together. He likes how Kathryn commands s room. She can be a bad girl, and what she says goes, whether it’s right or wrong. He just wants her to work with him. She doesn’t have to change completely, just acknowledge that she’s heard him. He tells Debbie that Kathryn tries to take his time from the family, saying that she should come first. If there’s nothing to do, he likes to hang out with Debbie, and it’s like Kathryn is fighting for his love. Debbie says, Kathryn sees how they relate, and she wants that kind love. Her mom’s gone, and Kathryn started becoming close to her. They hung out several times a week, and Debbie helped with the kids. Kathryn needs someone in her life. In his interview, Chleb says, his mother knew Kathryn before he did. Kathryn used to hang out with his cousin, and they all lived on the same block. His mom understands Kathryn. They’re both single moms, and Kathryn is like a daughter to her. He tells Debbie that he can help Kathryn out and uplift her, but he doesn’t think he understands her. Debbie says, she’ll call Kathryn. They can relate. Let her handle it. Chleb tells her to call later. He thinks Kathryn needs some time.

A producer asks how many dresses Venita has, and she says, maxi or mini? and laughs. She guesses it’s a smooth 175. In Venita’s interview, she says, her mother is the reason why she’s like she is. Her mother is always dressed up, even when she’d pick Venita up at midnight bowling. She’s not quite like that, but close. She fell into being an influencer; she didn’t seek it out. Her assistant helps her get ready for a photoshoot, and in her interview, she says, initially, she went to culinary school. She did some modeling, and posted her pictures on Instagram. People assumed she was talking about products, but she was just showing how cute she was. She can make 7 figures in a month if she gets the right deals. (Sign me up immediately!) It’s wild how much you can make, although she doesn’t think people understand the hard work that goes into it. Getting jobs, losing jobs, doing photoshoots, creating content, and revising it quickly when it’s not good enough. It doesn’t sound like fun, but she loves it.

Austen calls Leva, and says he has a list of businesses he’s targeting for Trop Hop. She says she thought it was cool that he brought Olivia to the party. Everyone could tell they liked each other. Austen says, Olivia is f***ing adorable; she’s beautiful, but low key. Leva says, she’s a girly girl, but also a guy’s girl, and in Leva’s interview, she says, she knows Olivia through her parents who are in the restaurant business; they’re a hoot. We see a clip of Leva and Olivia with Olivia’s parents, and Leva tells Austen that Olivia isn’t a Netflix and Chill girl. Austen asks if she’s telling him to get off the pot, and she says, Olivia’s a smoke show. She asks, what about Craig and Naomie in Vegas? but he says, she’s the one who knows about it; she was there. In Leva’s interview, she says, she ran into them separately when she was in Las Vegas, and had no idea. She thought it would be nice for them to have lunch together, and Naomie said, they were staggering when they came downstairs; Craig was upstairs in her room. Leva never told a soul; they told everyone. Austen says he’s calling BS on it being one and done, and Leva says she thinks they have more feelings than they’re saying.

Naomie calls Patricia, and says, she has a friend picking up Metul’s car; it’s been sitting in her driveway for the past four months. Patricia suggests donating it and getting the tax deduction, and Naomie says she can’t believe she left for a boy. Patricia says, call her next time. They’ll form a vetting committee. Naomie says she’s calling because she’s thinking of having a kind of fresh start party. Patricia asks if the usual gang will be coming, and Naomie says, last week, she went to Kathryn’s birthday party. Kathryn said she was extending an olive branch. Patricia says, what could go wrong? and Naomie says, let her tell Patricia – literally everything. Patricia says, there’s an old adage that says you’re known be the company you keep, so no on Kathryn. In Patricia’s interview, she says, she tried to establish a relationship with Kathryn, but she’s afraid Kathryn has led an… inelegant life. She wishes Kathryn the best, but there’s no connection there.

Olivia and Austen go to a bar/restaurant called Saltwater Cowboys. Austen thinks it’s funny how Olivia calls her parents her roommates, and she says, her parents have fun hanging out with him. He says, he’d rather have stayed there, and in his interview, he says, it terrifies him that there are no red flags. The first thing he liked was that Olivia is tall; he can’t deal with the shorties anymore. And she gets his sense of humor. In Olivia’s interview, she says, she first noticed his height, and he’s hilarious. In his interview, Austen says, Olivia is wifey material, but he’s not ready to go down that path, and in her interview, Olivia says, she’s not trying to lock Austen down, but if he’s not serious about settling down, on to the next one. She asks him if this a date, and he says, is it? She says, yeah, and Shep and Taylor join them. Shep says, it’s a foursome, like golf, and Austen says, Naomie just texted him to bring beer for her party. Shep says, his cousin Marcie should come. She makes Patricia look poor. Her family is… his family. Austen says, he and Leva think Craig and Naomie hooked up more than just in Vegas, and Shep asks if he thinks Craig is lying. Austen says, 1000%. Craig said, when they hooked up in Vegas, in the morning, he realized Naomie wasn’t the girl he fell in love with, and walked. Shep says he saw Paige and Craig arguing at a bar, but he got out of there. Taylor wonders if Naomie invited Craig to her party, and Austen says, she did; Paige is gone. Shep says, Craig claims he told her about Vegas, but Austen says, not the whole story. He doesn’t think Craig is being truthful, and Shep says he’s always had a hunch Craig is still in love with Naomie.

Naomie talks with Chef Nico, who’s also a family friend, along with his (I think) sous chef Justin. Nico says, they need start shucking. In the car, Craig tells Pringle, it’s the first time he’s going to be in Naomie’s mom’s house in four years. There are a lot of memories there. He tells Pringle about snack trays filled up with everything imaginable, and Pringle says he can’t decide if that’s cute and adorable, or WTF? Craig says he and Naomie lived together for two years, and we flash back to him giving her a ring. He tells Pringle that they got engaged, and everything fell apart. In Craig’s interview, he says, he had to leave the country. Naomie was the love of his life, and there’s a lot of baggage here. Guests begin arriving, and Naomie suggests they go outside. No surprise, the food looks amazing. These shows are such food porn for me. Pringle tells Naomie about Craig remembering the snack plates, and Naomie says, it’s crazy he remembers that. Craig tells Olivia it was kind of his own house. The last time he was there, he was packing a U-Haul in the middle of the night. Pringle says he heard Olivia and Austen had a date, and she says, a double date; Shep pretty much crashed it. Austen asks Craig where Paige is, and he says, in NYC, but she’ll be here in a couple of days. Madison (bleh) comes in with Venita, and Shep introduces his cousin Marcie around. Venita tells Marcie that she lives in Shep’s old apartment, and still get his mail, and Marcie tells her, throw it away. Shep says he saw Nico when he came in – score! Patricia and Whitney arrive, and after meeting Marcie, Patricia tells Shep, they all look alike. He says, they’re all Hobbs’s, and in Marcie’s interview, she explains her father and Shep’s mother are brother and sister; they’re first cousins. She talks about the Jupiter Island club, and how you need more than money to get in; you need a legacy. Their great, great, great, great grandfather, Columbus Cummings worked on the railroad, sold it to Vanderbilt, and built his fortune. Her husband John didn’t even know she had money until they signed the prenup. Before meeting John, she was a party girl, but now she has nice dinner parties instead of Animal House parties. In Shep’s interview, he says he and Marcie were the black sheep of the family. They were the only ones out of 14 or 15 grandchildren not to get married or have kids, up until now. (Marcie is also pregnant.) Craig points to the living room, and says, this is where it all started, which is kind of creepy. Naomie tells Craig that Pringle told her about the snack platters; it was nearly ten years ago. He chews some ice cubes, and she tells him that’s a turn off to some people. He says, he doesn’t want to hear her weird sh*t, and in his interview, he says he thinks she still has feelings for him that she hasn’t dealt with. She shelved them when they broke up, and when they hooked up in Vegas, the feelings got knocked off the shelf. Naomie tells him, he was right, and that’s all she saying. He says, it’s good to be back.

Pringle feeds Shep an oyster. Marcie says Shep was gushing about Taylor, and she told him to have children. Taylor says she’s not on birth control, and Marcie says, it just takes one or two times. I wonder if Shep is nuts, Taylor says, Shep’s not ready for that, and I wonder if they’re both nuts. We see a clip of Marcie’s dad asking if there’s a baby in Shep’s future, and Shep says, it would hinder his… their travels. Taylor says she can wait until she’s in her 30s, and Marcie says, she’s 36. Taylor says, that makes her feel good, since she’s only 23, and everyone says, your eggs! Marcie says she had a crush on Austen when they were younger, but doesn’t know if he even noticed, since he never made a move. She always wanted him to meet someone, and she’s all for Shep’s relationship with Taylor. Taylor says, there’s been pressure, and the others got in her head, and Olivia says, they should let it happen organically. Marcie says, other people don’t help, and Taylor says, it’s good to take it slow. Olivia says she thinks that’s where Austen is.

Austen brings Madison (ugh) a Trop Hop, and Craig wonders why they’re talking. Madison says, they’re fine; like she and Craig were. Craig says, it’s wild being here, and Austen says, it looks like Craig and Naomie are BFFs. Madison asks why they’re talking, and Craig says, Naomie told him that she’s sorry. Madison thinks Craig still loves her, and he says, he loves all his exes. He says he and Austen need to talk about sh*t that’s been festering, and Madison points out they’re wearing matching shirts. They’ve got to get over this.

Naomie goes inside, and sees most of the women hanging out. Patricia says she heard there was a big scene at Kathryn’s party, and Leva says, it started nice, but it turned. Patricia asks, what against? and Naomie says, Kathryn accused her of coming for her. Olivia says she has no dog in this fight, and thinks it’s because Naomie reacted on Twitter, instead of coming to Kathryn. When Naomie told Olivia that she didn’t want to be there, Olivia thought, why come? Naomie says, the reason she went was because Kathryn was extending an olive branch, and she’ll always give someone a chance. But she doesn’t need to be around people she doesn’t want to be around. Leva says they’ve known Kathryn longer, and Olivia says she’s not taking sides; she’s just asking questions. Venita says, listen… and Olivia says, calm down. Venita says, don’t tell her to calm down. She didn’t need to be there, since Kathryn is a racist, but she was there because the offer was extended. Austen wonders if there’s a way for him to pee without walking through there, and Olivia says, Kathryn offered Naomie peace, and when she saw Naomie bitching, she wondered what was up. Naomie asks if Olivia told Kathryn what she’d said, and Olivia says, no, and now she’s dipping out. Venita says, if Olivia wants to bring up the hard questions, she doesn’t get to walk away from the hard conversation. Olivia goes outside, and Naomie says she appreciates that they kept it low key. She thought they’d be attack dogs. Madison2 says she’s not okay with it.

Seeing lights in the night’s sky, Shep says, take me to your leader, but Venita says, it’s a plane, not a UFO. Venita says she doesn’t want Olivia to feel like she was being attacked, and Olivia tells Austen that she’s not taking sides. All she asked was why Naomie went to the party, and fire extinguishers went off. He says, it sounds like she’s taking sides, and in Olivia’s interview, she says she’d take up for anyone who wasn’t there to defend themselves. It didn’t read well with Regina George. Venita approaches Olivia, and says, they don’t want her feel attacked, and Olivia says, sorry she approached them like that. Venita says, she likes to keep it level grounded; she’s not about drama, and Olivia asks, then why is she in this town? Venita says she has no idea. Inside, Leva tells Naomie, when she found out Naomie and Craig were hanging out in Vegas, she thought they’d get back together. Naomie says, Leva is like a mom, and Austen comes past. Leva says, they were just talking about him, and Naomie tells him, sit down. Surprisingly, he doesn’t run like a cartoon character, legs pinwheeling, but sits with them. Leva says, they were talking about her conversation with him about what she saw in Vegas, and Austen says, eh was curious for timeline purposes. He’s convinced they had a mini reconnection, and asks if they were hanging in Charleston. Naomie says, for a week, and Austen says, so not just once. True or false? Naomie says, twice, and he says, Craig’s a good liar. He said it was one time, and never again. Leva says, they hung out, and slept together; it wasn’t a throw away kind of thing. Austen says, Craig told him that Naomie was clingy, and trying to get back together with him, but Naomie doesn’t believe Craig would describe her that way. Craig comes in to say bye, and tells them, this is awkward. Austen says, Craig can kiss his ass, and leaves, and Leva says she’s going too. Craig wonders why it’s weird, and Naomie says, Austen was pumping her for things. He told her that Craig had said it was one time, but Craig says, it was twice; he owned that. She says she knows Austen was trying to hurt her, and said Craig said it wasn’t all it was chalked up (I think she means cracked up) to be, and she was his ex for a reason. Craig tells her, that’s a mean thing to say. He hasn’t talked to Austen about it, and those are words that would never come out of his mouth. In Naomie’s interview, she says, she was heartbroken after breaking up with Metul, and thinks she was seeking comfort in someone she trusted, who she knew understood her, but it was a fleeting thing. Naomie says, Austen said Craig insinuated she was his ex for a reason; because it wasn’t fun. Craig says, they had an amazing experience. It was great; no regrets. He loves her, and always will. He wishes she’d gotten to know him the way he is today; she would have liked the guy. She’d be blown away by how early he goes to the airport. She says, Metul showed up early, and he says, she judged wrong. She says, clearly.

Next time, a game of cornhole, where Little Craig grabs the game pieces; Shep says, Taylor’s late, and he doesn’t want to have kids right now; Taylor says, if Shep isn’t interested in settling down, they’ll probably have to go their separate ways; Madison tells Venita that Naomie isn’t a dumbass; Chleb hasn’t been home in two days; and Chleb goes home to make up with Kathryn.

📺 The funniest thing happened on Watch What Happens Live. Dorinda and Phaedra were the guests, and apparently, when Jill showed up on Ultimate Girls Trip, Phaedra didn’t know who she was. So they played a game where Dorinda had to guess if Phaedra would know who a particular Housewife was. When they got to Dolores, Andy mistakenly called Dorinda Dolores, giving the answer away. Okay. Maybe you had to be there.

🍹 Newly Cast…

All about Shep’s cousin Marcie.

https://screenrant.com/southern-charm-season-8-marcie-hobbs-shep-cousin/

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/southern-charm-who-is-shep-rose-cousin-marcie-hobbs-recap

👧🏽 Dippity Do-ing Out…

Drop by tomorrow for soap, tea, quotes, and a song for the 4^th of July. Until then, stay safe, stay off the fence, and stay away from those who are wickedly smart with an emphasis on the wicked.