What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny comes into the MetroCourt, and Carly says, if they’re going to do this, they’re not doing it in the middle of her restaurant. He asks if that’s it, and she says she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He’s going to have to tell her more. He says she had months refusing any help, and she promised – no, she insisted – that she was going to get the hotel back on her own. He wanted to help her; she said no. Jason comes in, gets it back, gives it to her, and she’s like, thank you, Jason. She says, yeah. That’s pretty much it.

Taking off Jason’s jacket, Danny says he’s sorry. Jason says he doesn’t have to be sorry, and Danny asks if Jason is mad that he’s here. Jason says, never.

Kristina asks if Sam has seen much of her dad since Dante’s been home, and Sam says, a couple of times. Kristina says, alone or… and Sam says, once with Ava and Avery. Kristina asks how he seemed, and Sam asks what she means. Kristina says, how is he? and Sam says, considering everything he’s been going through, she’d say he’s pretty angry. Kristina says, and paranoid? but Sam says she wouldn’t go that far. Maybe a little on edge. What is Kristina thinking? Kristina says, he’s not acting like himself lately. He’s pushing everyone away. Sam says, she means Carly and Michael, and Kristina says, and Nina. Sam looks at her, and Kristina says she’s not okay with what Nina did. She does really love Kristina’s dad and he was happy with her. And now, apart from her, Donna, and Avery, and Sam and Dante occasionally, the only person he lets close to him is Ava.

At The Savoy, Lois asks if Maxie can believe they have this whole place to themselves. Brook is going to freak out when she sees it. All the decorations, her name in lights, and she’s got her own signature cocktail, the Brook Lynn Chaser. It doesn’t get any cuter than that. Maxie says, mm-hmm, and Lois says, anybody there? Maxie says, sorry, and Lois says, she lives for this stuff. Maxie says she did… she does. She’s sorry. It’s just, all the stress at work lately has been a lot. Lois asks if she wants to talk about it, but Maxie says, no. Lois shrugs, and Maxie says, Lucy has been insufferable. Lois says, gotcha, and Maxie says, she’s trying to make herself Deception’s spokesmodel, and they saw how well that went on Home & Heart. Lois says, did she ever, and Maxie says, all she can do is talk about herself. And because her followers are blowing up her social media, she’s convinced she was a success. Maxie doesn’t know the final numbers, but she’s pretty sure Lucy was not. There’s just no reasoning with her. And now that Sasha’s gone and Brook is understandably… Lois says, Maxie has to deal with Lucy all on her own, and Maxie says, yeah. And they have this new skin care line coming out, the Disruptor Nourishing Moisturizer that was debuted on Home & Heart. Lucy’s been holding up the release date and she would like to rename the product Lucy’s Luminous Skin Serum. Lois makes a face and says, hard pass, and Maxie says, right? Marketing is about to lose their minds – Lois puts centerpieces on the tables – and she’s right there with them. Lois says, why don’t they just call it Deceptive, the skin care that hides what you want, and no one’s got a clue.

Nina strides into Crimson and asks Madison to call her lawyer immediately. See if there’s way she can get out of a contract that she signed under false pretenses. Madison says, right away, but Nina says, actually, no. Madison says, of course (🍷). Is there something she should do? Nina asks if she wants some advice, and Madison says, please. Nina says, when people tell you who they are, believe them. Say someone is treacherous with an agenda and they suddenly become your friend. Guess what? They still have an agenda. Maybe it gels with yours for the moment, but as soon as it doesn’t, said friend will betray you in a heartbeat. She sits down and Madison asks if she’s okay. Nina says, she can go, when Ava comes in and asks if Nina has a minute. Nina says, for a friend like her, always.

Jason says, Danny is always welcome here, and Danny thanks him. Jason says he didn’t see Danny downstairs. How’d he get in? Danny says, the fire escape. It looked like Jason and Carly were busy, so… He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s here. His mom said he couldn’t see Jason anymore and this has to be a secret, just like the boathouse. Jason says he’s grateful Danny helped him, but Danny says, it was no big deal. Jason says, it was a big deal. And what he did, getting Danny involved and especially asking him to keep it from his mom, wasn’t fair. At the time, he didn’t see an alternative, but it shouldn’t have gone down like that. Danny asks if Jason is saying he’s sorry Danny found him.

Sam says she’s sensing Kristina doesn’t like that Ava’s living with Sonny, and Kristina says she just doesn’t understand why. Sam asks what Sonny had to say about it, and Kristina says, not much. Just that Ava and Avery were moving in because of a safety concern. But if her dad were really at risk, wouldn’t he want Avery as far away from him as possible? She remembers plenty of times as a young kid, she would go long periods without seeing her dad and it was always for her own safety. Sam says, maybe it is for security reasons. Sonny’s is the best. Kristina says she guesses. She was fine with Ava and Avery moving in there initially. She even asked Ava to keep an eye on her dad because she was so worried about him after Spencer died. Sam says, she’s clearly not okay with it now, and Kristina says, Ava Jerome living there permanently is a different story. Sam says she knows it’s an interesting development, and Kristina says she feels like he’s really starting to rely on Ava, like he really needs her in his life. And Ava played such a major role in Morgan’s death. She tampered with his medication, and that basically forced him into a manic spiral, so how is she not responsible that he did something reckless and died? She understands the concept of keeping Ava close for Avery’s sake, tolerating Ava, going along to get along. But every once in a while, she’s around Ava and she’s hit with this full sensory memory of being at Morgan’s funeral. The dress she was wearing, the way the flowers smelled, a mental snapshot she can’t get rid of. And her dad is the one who uncovered that. So how does he go from loathing someone to totally trusting her?

Sonny says he offered to buy back the hotel for Carly, and Carly says she remembers. He says, and she refused, and she says she remembers that too. He says, then what the hell? Why would she take it from Jason and not him? She says, because he made the offer out of guilt, but Sonny says, that’s not true. She says, it is true. He wanted to make himself feel better for bailing on their marriage. Like it was some kind of consolation prize or something. He says he didn’t bail on the marriage. She’s the one who ended things. She says she hit pause for about five minutes, and he took that opportunity to jump in bed with Nina. He says, she’s rewriting history, and she asks, which part is the lie? He says, all parts, and she says, he wanted Nina, and he got her. Look at him now.

Nina asks Madison to make sure they’re not disturbed, and Madison leaves, closing the door behind her. Nina tells Ava, have a seat, and Ava says she’s so sorry. Nina says, for what? and Ava says she had no idea Sonny would react that way to Nina selling Jason the hotel. She knew he was under a lot of stress, but that was over the top, even for him. Rest assured, she’s going to do whatever she can to smooth things over, but she hopes Nina understands. Nina says she understands… how transparent and manipulative Ava is. She’s so embarrassed that she ever believed one word that came out of Ava’s mouth. She of all people should know better with their history. All the ways Nina has admittedly wronged Ava and all the ways Ava wronged her, how could she have ever trusted Ava? That’s not just being naïve, that’s borderline deluded. How long? Ava asks, how long what? and Nina says, how long has Ava been working her agenda? Does it go all the way back to when Ava told her to turn in Carly and Drew to the SEC? Ava says she never told Nina to do any such thing, and Nina says, how long has Ava been playing her for a fool?

Maxie says, Lois might not have saved the future of Deception, but Lois definitely saved her a headache. Lois says, her pleasure, and Maxie says, there are four products in this new line: the Deceiver Serum, Defiance Toner, Defender De-cleanser, and the Disruptor Nourishing Moisturizer. Lois says she’s excited to try every one of them. Consider her a focus group of one. Maxie asks if she’s used their products, and Lois says she was a big fan of Deception back in the day. Her best friend was the Face in the 90s, but that version of the company folded. Maxie asks if she’s used any of the products recently, and Lois says she thinks the Deceptor is a homerun. Maxie says, yay, and Lois says she uses it while doing her Sudoku. Maxie says, as good a time as any she supposes, and Lois says, why not, right? Willow and Josslyn come in carrying boxes, and Willow says, sorry she’s late. Maxie says she sees Willow brought back-up, and Willow says, Joss was nice enough to not only help her put together the favor bags, but also lug the boxes over. Lois thanks Josslyn and says, she’s a lifesaver. Josslyn says, of course (🍷). Whatever they need help with, she’s happy to help, and Maxie tells her, be careful. They might take her up on that. Lois says, all right, ladies. It’s showtime. She tosses a boa around her neck and over her shoulder.

Jason says he’s sorry he put Danny in that position, but would never be sorry for that time with him. Danny says he really liked talking, and Jason says, him too. Danny says, it turns out, he’s pretty good at getting in places and staying under the radar. He was even at Jason’s arraignment. Jason asks if his mom knows, but Danny says, she was busy at the hospital with Dante. The only person who saw him was Elizabeth and she was cool about it. Jason says, he can’t keep doing stuff behind his mom’s back, but Danny says, she doesn’t want him to see Jason, and he won’t let her keep him away from his own father. It’s not fair.

Carly tells Sonny that after what happened with Nina, she’d rather wait tables for the rest of her life than take anything from him. He says, but she’s got no problem taking it from Jason, and she says, none. Because Jason’s offer was genuine. Sonny was just trying to buy her off. He says, that’s not true. Why would she say that? She says, Jason gave her back her hotel because he believes in her, he supports her, and he’ll always have her back. Sonny says, they all know she has his, and she says, of course (🍷) she does. That’s not news. She’ll always be there for Jason, and he’ll always be there for her. She refuses to apologize for that. He says he can see that, and she says, does he? Does he see? Because he accused her of rewriting history, but he’s the one who seems to have lost his grasp on things. This is Jason they’re talking about. Obviously agitated, Sonny says he knows who they’re talking about. Jason is the one who tried to kill him.

Ava says, Nina is the one who made the decision to turn Carly and Drew in all on her own, and Nina says, that’s true. Ava never came out and said, turn them in. She would never be that obvious. They were more like suggestions and insinuations. Metaphorical layups so she could slam dunk. And boy, did she ever. Ava says she told Nina all along that it was a mistake. Nina made the call, not her. Nina says, now she can sit back, play innocent, and watch her hard work pay off. Ava asks why she’d do that, and Nina says, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it? And she can only come up with one answer. Ava says she’s all ears, and Nina says, by Ava encouraging her to turn Carly and Drew in to the SEC, then saying she’d work on Sonny for Nina, help get them back together, but actually not do any of that. Then Ava was all in about her selling Jason the MetroCourt, but oops. Jason is no longer Sonny’s best friend, but his sworn enemy. All under the guise of having her back, being her best friend, so Ava could have Sonny for herself.

Lois says, it really is so sweet of Josslyn to help out, and Josslyn says, of course (🍷). And after the day she had, doing something fun is great instead of… Lois says, the opposite of fun, and Josslyn says, exactly. Lois says she’s really sorry Josslyn had a crapola day, and Josslyn thanks her. Lois says, you know what could turn that around? and Josslyn says, a bachelorette party? Lois says, bingo. You get to eat, drink, be all sorts of merry, and dance the blues away. Josslyn thanks her and says she appreciates the invite, but she has plans tonight. Lois says, they can’t be any better than this, and Josslyn says she knows, but she’s having dinner with her friend Trina and Trina’s Aunt Stella. Lois says, perfect. Have dinner, then afterwards, bring them back here. The more, the merrier. Lois jets off, and Willow says, Lois is living her best life, isn’t she? Maxie says she’s definitely met her match in the party planning department, and Willow says she’s guessing they all bring their own individual styles to said planning. Maxie asks how she could tell, when Drew comes in carrying a box. He asks if anyone was looking for this. It was by the entrance. Maxie says, those must be the party hats Lois ordered. She’ll take them. She takes the box, and calls, Lois, delivery! Lois runs out and says she’d hoped they’d deliver them on time. Drew asks if Willow has seen Curtis. He wanted to run something by him. Willow says, no. He’s giving the club a wide berth since they’re taking over for Brook’s bridal shower-slash-bachelorette party. Drew says, so he’s afraid of girls. Maybe he should be too. He’ll get out of her hair. He starts to leave, but she says, actually, since he’s here, could she get his advice on something? He says, always. As long as it’s not related to the bachelorette festivities. She says, it’s about Amelia. She and Michael want her to learn how to swim. He says, that’s great, and she says, really? Because she’s terrified.

Sam tells Kristina, who Sonny chooses to be part of his life is his decision. If that’s Ava, that’s Ava. Kristina says, she’s not a good influence on him, and Sam says she doesn’t disagree. Kristina says, and she thinks her dad is really hurting over Nina so much more than he wants to admit. And then Jason’s mysterious return. She feels like he’s in a vulnerable position right now. Sam says, maybe he is, but like she told Kristina, it’s her father’s choice who he wants to have in his life. Repeat after her. It’s not your choice. Kristina says, it’s not your choice, and Sam looks at her. She says, it’s not my choice, when there’s a knock at the door. Sam opens it to find Jason with Danny.

Carly says, Jason did not try to kill Sonny, and Sonny says, he was with the sniper on the roof. Carly says, the sniper who missed because of Jason. Again, Jason stepped up to save his life. he wouldn’t be standing here right now if it weren’t for Jason. He says, listen to him. This is serious right now. Jason is working with the Feds, right? It’s a scary thing. He said it himself. That’s proof. Carly says, proof of what? and he says, that Jason is working against him. Maybe he made a deal with the Feds to save his own skin. She says, so he thinks he’s part of Jason’s deal? and he says, she doesn’t? She says she thinks if Jason’s job is to get evidence against him, then he’s really bad at it, because here he is a free man. Sonny looks like he has a headache and says he’s had a target on his back for over a year. Jason’s been MIA through it all. Why couldn’t he pick up a phone? Why couldn’t he pick up a phone and say, hey, I’m alive. I can’t tell you anything, but I’m alive. Carly says, if he could have, he would have, but Sonny says, Jason betrayed him, and she betrayed him.

Nina says, it sounds obvious now that she looks back on it, and Ava says, obvious to her maybe. Nina says, Ava kept Sonny away from her so she could move on in, but Ava says, Sonny moved her in, for her safety and the safety of her daughter. And that was before the two of them even separated. Nina says she stands corrected. Ava did get a foot in the door before she was even evicted. What about now? Why is she still there now? Ava says, for Avery, and Nina says, and herself? Ava says, yeah, for herself too, because selfishly, she’d like to be on good terms with her child’s father. Nina says, maybe at first, but Ava’s grown to like being in Sonny’s orbit, drawn into his circle of trust. It feels good, doesn’t it? It makes her feel seen, loved, like they’re the only two people in the whole world. Is she getting close? Ava says, this is absurd, and Nina says, the only thing she’s curious about now is, how does Ava think Sonny is going to react if he finds out not only is she the mastermind behind Nina narking – Ava says, stop it – but she knew the truth the whole time and she kept quiet. How does she think Sonny’s going to react to that? She’s guessing not well.

Drew says, Willow is going to be doing Amelia and herself a huge favor by getting her in the water as early as possible, and Willow says, he did that with Scout. He says, and look at her now. She’s like a little fish. Willow says, that makes her feel better, and he says, she’s not going to regret it. She tells him that when he says it, she believes it.

Ava says, if it will make Nina feel better to blame her, go ahead. Tell Sonny her little story about how Ava convinced her to turn in Carly and Drew. Nina says, maybe she will, and Ava says, and she can tell him how she thought it was a fabulous idea to sell the MetroCourt to Jason. It does not matter. He won’t believe her. Nina asks, why is that? and Ava says, because Sonny considers her a traitor, and he knows Nina will say absolutely anything to get him back. That’s how desperate Nina is. Nina says, not desperate, hopeful. Because Ava told her to be. Ava asks if she hears herself. Ava told her. Ava convinced her. How about thinking for herself once in a while and then maybe Sonny would have just a little respect for her. Nina says, and he has respect for Ava? and Ava says, not only does Sonny respect her, he counts on her. Nina says, poor Sonny, and Ava says, face it. She knows and understands Sonny in a way Nina never could.

Carly says, since when is Sonny so quick to think the worst of her? He’s family, and he says, not all his family. Just the ones who… She says, who betrayed him. She knows. He’s like a broken record. He’s cherry-picking history to make it line up with his version of events. He asks what pieces he’s ignoring, and she says, the one where Michael didn’t turn him in. Where he gave her the evidence instead and she destroyed it to protect him. What about those pieces? If it weren’t for her and Michael, he would be in jail right now. He says, if it wasn’t for Michael and her, Dex would never have been planted in his organization to spy on him and that evidence wouldn’t have existed. (He’s not wrong.) She says, okay. Michael made a bad choice, but he turned it around, and Dex was put in his organization then to protect him and watch his back, and that’s exactly what Dex did. He saved Sonny’s life multiple times. Doesn’t that count for anything? Sonny says, not to him.

Sam says, so Danny went to his father when she explicitly told him not to, and Jason says, they should talk. Sam says, they’ll talk later. Danny is her first priority. Jason says, Danny is his too, and she tells him that she said they’ll talk later. Danny tells her to listen to what Jason has to say. Please. Kristina says she has an idea. Why doesn’t Danny come with her to get a cup of coffee? Danny says he wants to stay, but Kristina says, come on, dude. They haven’t spent time together in a really long time, and she’s all up in her feels as a pregnant woman. He doesn’t want to make his aunt cry. She starts to whimper, and he says, fine. She goes to get her bag, and Sam thanks her. Kristina says, of course (🍷). Just text her with the all-clear and she’ll bring him back. She tells Danny, let’s go, and they leave. Sam asks how Jason could do this to their son.

Ava says, Nina doesn’t understand Sonny. She never has. Nina says, really? and Ava says, really. He is a powerful, turbulent, and yes, violent man. Meanwhile, Nina wants to sit by the fire and grow old with him, dandling grandkids on their knees. Nina asks, what’s wrong with that? and Ava says, nothing, she guesses. But if that’s the kind of life Nina wants, perhaps don’t choose a notorious mob boss to live it with. Nina says, Sonny chose her. He loves her and she does understand him. Does Ava want to know why? Because Sonny showed her a side to him that he never shows anyone. Ava says, yeah. Mike from Nixon Falls. She laughs and says, come on. Mike was never real. Nina has to face it. She saw what she wanted to see. In Nina’s defense, he encouraged her. he kept the darkest parts of himself hidden as best he could so her fantasy could live on. And that’s exactly what it was – a fantasy. She couldn’t really know Sonny because she didn’t want to. Not the real man anyway. Nina says, and Ava knows him, and Ava says she and Sonny are similar creatures. Nina asks, what’s her endgame? and Ava asks what that means. Nina says, Ava is living there, raising Avery under the same roof. She knows Ava. What does Ava get out of this?

Sonny says, Carly knew the risk of keeping Dex in his organization, just like she knew what was going to happen when he found out the truth. There are no surprises here. Carly says, everything he does surprises her lately. Writing his son off, almost killing Dex, his attitude toward Jason. He says, add it to the list, and she says she hardly recognizes him anymore. He says, right back at her, and she asks if this is really how it ends for them, after all these years, after everything they’ve been through. This is it? He says, this is it.

Danny spoons sugar into his coffee, and Kristina asks if he doesn’t want a ninth spoonful. That might do the trick. He says he hates the taste of coffee, and she asks why he’s drinking it. He says, everyone at school does, and she says, that’s great. She’s just going to be here with her sad, decaffeinated, herbal tea, living vicariously through him, while he sips what she considers to be the nectar of the gods, and he doesn’t even enjoy it. He says, sorry, but she says, don’t be. She’s only teasing. Does he want to talk about anything? They don’t have to. He says, all he wants to do is see his dad and hang out for just a minute. Why can’t his mom understand that? She asks how it’s been, having him back, and he says, good. She asks if it’s been weird or anything, since he’s been gone for so long, but Danny says, it’s been easy. His dad treats him like a person. He doesn’t get all parental. She says, like his mom does, and he nods. Kristina says, she is his mom and by definition, she wants to protect him. He says, from his own father? and she says, maybe, yeah. He says, she doesn’t let him do anything. It’s like he’s a prisoner. When is his mom going to realize, he’s not a little kid anymore? She asks if he’s thought of it from her side. Jason is his father and of course (🍷) Danny wants a relationship with him, that makes sense. But it also makes sense that his mom just wants to protect him and keep him safe. And it’s hard, it’s confusing, and it’s not that cut and dried. He tells her that his mom said she was afraid he was going to get hurt. She doesn’t want him hanging out with his dad because she’s afraid he’s just like him. Kristina asks, how? and he says, going fast, taking chances… It’s hard to explain, but his dad understands.

Jason says, he’s Danny’s father and nothing is going to change that, so they just have to try and figure out a way to handle this. Sam says she thought she had handled it when she told him to stay away from their son, but he says, it’s not working. Danny is going to come look for him. He already did. She says, then tell him to leave, and he asks if she thinks that’s going to stop Danny. She says, where he goes, danger follows. Danny is too young to understand the risks or control his impulses, so they’ll have to control that for him. Jason says, you mean control him, and she says, if they have to, yes. Danny is just like him, except he doesn’t have the maturity or the experience to guide him. What if he finds himself in a dangerous situation and he’s not able to get out of it?

Danny says he doesn’t want to worry his mom or lie to her, and Kristina says, of course (🍷) not. He says he bets his mother wishes he was just like Rocco. Steady, safe, he never gives mom or Dante a reason to freak out. He’s not like that and he won’t pretend that he is. She says, his mom loves him for who he is. She can guarantee his mom doesn’t want him to pretend, but with Jason back, it is confusing. And his mom, like the rest of them, is just trying to figure it out. He says he gets that, and she says, of course (🍷) he does. He’s smart and empathetic. He has very questionable taste – he doesn’t like coffee – but she’s willing to overlook that. He asks what he’s supposed to do, and she says, about Jason? He says he’s sorry his mom is confused and whatever else, but he won’t give up on his dad.

Sam says, it’s not only about the physical danger, and Jason says, okay, then what else? She says, what about the next time he disappears? And don’t say it’s not going to happen again, because it already did. He was here with Danny, then he’s gone. He says he wishes he could make promises, but she knows he can’t. She says, so how does she let Danny invest in him? How does she let him see a future with Jason when he might not even be around for it? Jason says he’ll set boundaries with Danny. He’ll make sure Danny never comes to the warehouse. She says, ever, and he says he promises he’ll be honest with her. If she calls and asks if he’s there, he’s going to tell the truth, and he’s going to encourage Danny to do the same thing. Sam says, because lying to her is definitely not okay, and Jason agrees. But he doesn’t believe cutting Danny off from him helps or protects their son. She says she guesses this part of the conversation is over, and he says he’s sorry this is hard. She says she’s sorry about a lot of things, and he goes to the door, hesitates a moment, then leaves.

Drew asks if Willow going to make that call, and she says she will. He tells her that he’s been spending more time with Nina lately because of Crimson, and Nina’s been talking about her a lot, her and the kids. He thought maybe she’d like to know. He leaves and she ponders this.

Ava tells Nina that what she gets is a strong relationship with the father of her only living child. What she gets is a partnership with Sonny. So instead of being grudgingly tolerated for Avery’s sake, she and Sonny have formed an alliance. Nina says, how nice, and Ava says, it is nice. They help each other. They lean on each other. And it comes naturally because they had a short end. Nina says, because of their mob ties, and Ava says, they both understand how the world works. He doesn’t have to explain things to her. Nina says, like he does with poor, naïve her, and Ava says, he doesn’t have to hide things either. In simpler terms, she and Sonny are compatible in ways he and Nina never were, and never could be. Nina says, well, have at it, tosses the divorce papers on her desk, and signs them. She holds them out to Ava and says, Sonny’s all hers. Ava takes them and leaves.

Carly says, she tried to protect Sonny, then Sonny calls her a traitor. Fine. They’ll go their own ways. She’ll focus on her life, and he can focus on his. He says, sounds good, and starts to walk away, but then says, you know, out of all the people he thought would abandon him, he never thought she would. He leaves, and she looks like she might cry.

Nina sits at her desk and looks at the wedding set still on her hand. She flashes back to her life with Sonny, falling in love in Nixon Falls, getting married in Puerto Rico, dancing, getting busy, and Sonny’s proposal. She takes off her rings and calls Madison into the office. She asks Madison to find an appropriate box for these and have them shipped to Mr. Corinthos’s address at the Harbor View Towers. Madison looks sadly at Nina and leaves.

Tomorrow, Brook says, they’re going to have to catch Willow up tonight; Curtis tells Jordan that he has a new opportunity for a reset; Sasha asks if Maxie is going to take the next step with Spinelli; and Tracy asks Spinelli if she’s clear, and he says, crystal.

Below Deck

Anthony looks for an ice cream scoop and the guests call for Paris. Chocolate lava cake is served and is a surprising success. Surprising because nothing else has been a success. Guest Clifton says he needs grilled wings, and in Anthony’s interview, he says he f***ed up lunch and dinner and feels heartbreak inside. We flash back to that, and he says he needs to be happy to make amazing food. He’s sad and his food says it. Fraser says, it’s one hot mess of an evening, and some of the guests get in the hot tub. Primary Ray says, they need lobster grilled cheese, but Barbie says, the chef is asleep. She can’t cook even the basics, but she can bring them some snacks. This doesn’t go over too well, so she suggests hot sandwiches. Primary Carmen says there had better be some sh*t she likes, and Barbie says she’ll do her best. In Barbie’s interview, she says, they’re rude and it’s not cool. The crew is here to serve, but this is so extra. These guests are batsh*t crazy. She hopes they choke on the sandwiches. She and Kyle go to the galley, and she says she grew up with nannies who cooked. He checks out her sandwiches and pronounces them not great, but not bad. Barbie tells the guests that the panini is disappointing, but the BLT is better, and Roy says he wants napkins. Barbie tells Kyle, it’s tragic, tragic thing, and in Kyle’s interview, he says, Barbie is different from the girls he’s liked in the past. She’s so high stung, she’s vertical, while he’s so laid back, he’s horizontal. He tells Barbie that he’s not going through that sh*t again, and in Barbie’s interview, she says she likes Kyle, but she’s too afraid to act on it, so it’s kind of a game.

Ben overhears Dylan telling Paris that Sunny got lead deckhand because she’s f***ing him, and he tells Sunny. In Sunny’s interview, she says, they had a relationship before Ben became bosun. It’s ultimately the captain’s decision, and Dylan needs to stay in his lane. Dylan wants to know who squealed on him, and Xandi tells Dylan to just tell Ben that he didn’t mean it. In her interview, she says, she’s happy to be there for Dylan. He has a good heart, but needs to maneuver it to get his message across. Fraser asks Anthony about lunch on the beach, and Anthony says he’s making mac and cheese and lobster tail. Fraser says, they can’t afford to challenge themselves in any way, and asks if Anthony can precook it ahead for the grill. At breakfast, Carmen asks if they have duck or turkey bacon for the eggs benedict, but Anthony tells Paris that he doesn’t have it. Paris relays the message, and Carmen bitches that she’s the primary and doesn’t eat pork. It’s disappointing.   

Paris tells Anthony that the primary is upset, but he says, it’s not his fault. He ordered it, but the provisioner can’t find it. He mumbles that even if he doesn’t give a sh*t, he has to smile, and serves Carmen personally. He apologizes about the bacon and explains that he tried to order it, but it wasn’t available in the Caribbean. Carmen says he’s forgiven, and we get a big dose of eggs benedict… food porn! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more scrumptious looking egg. Fraser tells the captain that he’s going to heat up the barbecue at the beach, while Ben talks to Dylan. He says he heard what Dylan’s been saying, that he has more experience, and Sunny got the job for opening her legs. Dylan tells Ben that he said what he thought. He should have been named lead deckhand because of his experience. Ben says he assumes Ben has more experience, but it’s not necessarily about going off experience. And it’s not about him and Sunny sleeping together. It’s all about attitude and Sunny knows more about the boat. It sucks that it had to come through others. Dylan says he’s sorry if he offended Ben and Ben suggests they leave it there.

Fraser says, Barbie is coming with the guests, and Anthony says he’s running out of time, but he’s not an octopus. He opens a refrigerator, and a bunch of stuff falls out. As the guests have a drink, Xandi and Paris get grossed out doing the cabins. Anthony comes to the beach with the food, and in his interview, Fraser wonders if anything he said registered. Anthony didn’t cook the lobster. He tells Anthony that it should have gone in a while ago, but Anthony says he had no time. The guests try to play pickleball, but there’s too much wind. Paris radios, wondering when the guests will be back, and Fraser says, the food is still on the grill. They’re behind schedule by at least a half hour. Barbie tells Fraser that she doesn’t like these people. They drove her nuts last night. The food totally looks worth waiting for, but the guests grumble that the mac and cheese isn’t like the dish in the south. We see a clip of Anthony breaking linguine, and I imagine that’s not like the mac and cheese anywhere. Fraser tells Ben that the guests aren’t happy with the food, but Ben thinks it looks tasty. Ben would be right, but Carmen says she’s not wasting calories eating that. Fraser tells Ben that they need to get the guests back to enjoying themselves, and in Fraser’s interview, he says, it’s not just affecting his team; it’s affecting the boat. He knows this tip is going to be sh*t. He’s spending most of his time with chef, making sure he’s doing his job correctly and keeping him in line. He has no space for looking after him. He doesn’t have time for that. He radios for the stews to have the welcome drinks ready, and they decide to put a gummi bear in each drink. At first, I’m kind of against this, but when I see it, I change my mind. Captain Kerry asks Fraser, how was the beach? and Fraser says, they didn’t enjoy the meal. The mac and cheese was questionable, but they made do. The captain says, he might have to make a change. It’s a schoolboy error. In Captain Kerry’s interview, he says he tried to give Anthony guidance, but if one person isn’t running at the same speed as the rest of them, they’ll get behind. He tells Fraser, the pressure’s on.  

Barbie wonders if Paris has someone waiting for her at the end of the season, but Paris says she’s just got a post break-up glow. In Paris’s interview, she says, her last relationship was a nightmare. He cheated on her with his ex, who stole from Paris, then posted photos of herself online wearing Paris’s clothes. The boys on the boat are nice, but she’s good. Um… that thing about the clothes is really weird. Creepy weird. Anthony says, the guests want simple stuff, and makes chicken and fish, with chicken for the guest who doesn’t eat fish. Fraser says, chicken for the starter, chicken for the main, and chicken for dessert, and Anthony promises a beautiful potato au gratin. It’s movie premiere night, and the decorations look amazing. The guests dress like characters from movies: Sandy from Grease, Jules from Pulp Fiction, Jasmine from Aladdin, guest Brandon as late 90s Michael Jackson, clearly having forgotten his costume, and the final entrance is King Ray and Queen Carmen. The crew plays paparazzi, and in Fraser’s interview, he says, it’s such a tacky request. Clearly the guests don’t feel important in their lives and need to pay them to feel loved. Does that not speak volumes? Agreed, it does. While doing cabins, Paris tells Xandi that someone shaved something, and I don’t want to know. Ray suggests Anthony start preparing some lobster grilled cheese now for later. They’d wanted that last night. This sounds like an awful sandwich to me. Cheese and lobster are both great, but not together. Fraser tells the guests that the hot tub is ready and tells Anthony that they’ll have to sit down after every charter meeting and come up with a menu. Barbie serves the grilled cheese sandwiches, but there’s no lobster, and Ray tells her that he had a conversation with the chef. This is melted bullsh*t cheddar.  

Barbie says she wants the guests to be happy and tells Kyle that the chef promised them lobster grilled cheese. She thinks they’ll be in trouble if they don’t wake him up. In Kyle’s interview, he says, here we go, and wakes up Anthony. He says, the primary is saying he’d asked to have lobster grilled cheese. Can Anthony make one? Anthony says, yeah, and Kyle says, sorry to wake him up. Brandon calls the other guests bougie bitches, and Anthony tells Kyle that the guests said they wanted grilled cheese, but never told him they wanted lobster. We flash back to a minute ago where they clearly asked for lobster, and Anthony says he knows what they asked for. He makes the sandwiches, and Barbie thanks him, apologizing for waking him up. He says, anytime, which is probably the wrong thing to say in response to anything on this boat.

In the morning, Captain Kerry prays to the wind gods that it’s not so windy today. The anchor is put in the pocket, and the yacht heads to Port Louis Marina. At breakfast, one of the guests wants a crepe with no chocolate, and I wonder, what’s the point? Sunny tells Dylan that she knows he wanted to be lead deckhand, but Dylan insists he doesn’t care. In Dylan’s interview, he says he doesn’t think Sunny’s a bad person. There’s no point in firing it up more. In Sunny’s interview, she says, it’s supposed to be a team, not an ego war. In his interview, Dylan says, where there’s a will, there’s a way, and when bad egos are in play, I’ll stay away. He gets very pleased with himself when he discovers he made a rhyme. The boat docks and as breakfast finishes, Ray says, that sh*t was delicious. While these definitely sound like words that would come out of my mouth, I’d try to class it up just a little on a superyacht. Captain Kerry says, everyone did a fantastic job on the docking, and the crew changes to their whites. Ben says he looks good, but smells, and spritzes on cologne. There are the usual hugs and goodbyes, and Carmen says, Fraser has been her best friend this whole time. She was the primary and as a non-pork eater, you’d think the chef would have had more options. She’s head bitch, but didn’t get that. The tip envelope is given, and the guests leave. Anthony says, f*** me, and some cleaning is done. Ugh. Xandi wonders what that is on the pillow, and Fraser says, after a while, all fluids look the same. That cinches it. This would not be the job for me.

The captain calls the tip meeting, and they toast to new stew Paris and to Sunny as the new lead deckhand. Dylan couldn’t look more begrudging if he tried. Captain Kerry says, the guests were demanding in their own way, and they expressed their joys and their not so much joys. And it was reflected in the tip. The tip is $17,259, or $1326 each, the lowest one this season. In Fraser’s interview, he says, it’s embarrassing. Is it because of the food? He says, yes. The captain asks if Fraser wants to rumble in the cage, and Anthony thinks it’s his turn next. Fraser tells Captain Kerry that the guests didn’t enjoy the food. The preferences weren’t considered, and he thinks Anthony has lost his sense of standard with the meals. The captain sighs, and radios for Anthony to see him. Anthony says, of course. F*** my life. Captain Kerry tells Anthony, have a seat.

Captain Kerry says, Anthony is an incredible chef. His food is amazing, but he’s starting to nosedive. Anthony says he doesn’t know what the captain is talking about. He doesn’t see where he’s going wrong. The captain says, he didn’t realize that the crew food is priority, the guests’ food was late, and he’s making mistakes because he’s not prepared. We flash back to all that, and Captain Kerry says he’s seeing the guests not satisfied with the elements of what he’s doing. Anthony says he made a mistake. He’s human. The captain says, he’s not flourishing in this environment, and Anthony embarrasses himself further by basically blaming it on the guests. Captain Kerry says, he’s an amazing chef, but superyachts need more than that. He’s doing Anthony a favor. Anthony says, it’s the first time he’s been fired, and in his interview, he says he’s in shock. It’s not real. It’s not possible. Captain Kerry says he has a lot of respect for Anthony, and they shake hands and bro hug. In Captain Kerry’s interview, he says, it’s heartbreaking and he doesn’t like doing this at all. The crew is noticing, and if it keeps going on like this, the morale will be terrible, and he can’t have that. Anthony cries in the galley, and Fraser asks what the captain said. Anthony says, he’s not good enough. He feels destroyed. He worked hard and never complained. Fraser says, it’s got nothing to do with him. It’s difficult to work in yachting. In Fraser’s interview, he says he sees Anthony’s in pain that he feels like he aided. It’s difficult. He’ll love that boy forever, but right now, the job is more important and he’s not right for the job. Anthony sniffles that he wasn’t enough, and they hug, while Anthony cries. Captain Kerry looks at resumés. Barbie spreads the news and says, the next chef will probably be batsh*t crazy, since they usually are. Fraser says, they need to pray the next chef fits in. Ben says, it will be hard for him to get used to someone new. Captain Kerry texts yacht services to get the new chef on a plane. They’re hired. Anthony says he’s a terrible chef, and the captain tells Fraser that a new chef is coming in. They’re going to smash out the next three charters. The crew gets ready to go out, and Captain Kerry radios that the chef is leaving. In Anthony’s interview, he says he loves everyone and he’s going to miss them so much. The crew gives him a group hug, and in his interview, he says, the only thing he needs is cooking for people. It’s the only thing that makes him happy. He’s going to come back a crazy motherf***er. He’ll be back in the game for sure. I don’t think it’s his cooking at all, but he’s too depressed to recognize it. He’s just not meant for the yachting world. He needs to go the restaurant route.

The crew toasts to the chef and heads out. In the taxi, Barbie tells Sunny and Ben that they can’t use her bed tonight. They go to Island Fever restaurant, and order dinner. Dylan asks Sunny what three things would make her happiest, and she says, living on an island, having her own boat, and growing her own food. He points out that his mom and dad have a farm. If she comes to South Africa, she should visit them. She says, for sure, and he kisses her cheek. Ben watches the whole exchange. The food arrives and I want it all. There are random dogs and cats hanging around and a pool, and I can’t see one thing not to like about this place. Barbie sits at a picnic bench with Kyle, and Dylan says he’s going to the pool. Kyle says he respects where Barbie is at, and she says, what if she hooked up with someone else? In Barbie’s interview, she says she and Kyle definitely have chemistry, but the guys she’s dated are Jewish, hardworking, and stable. Kyle’s not modest and free-spirited. She has a guard up where she cares about image or doesn’t think her dad would support the relationship. It’s a weird situation to be in. Ben goes in the pool, and Barbie goes back to the table. Fraser says, Truth or Dare? and Paris dares Fraser to do a shoey, which is apparently drinking from someone’s shoe, although I’ve never heard that term before. In Fraser’s interview, he says he’s already regretting suggesting the game 100%. He does his dare, and Barbie says she’s game for one. Dylan tells her to choose a guy to kiss, and Fraser adds that it’s got to be a full make out session.

Barbie asks, what if she’s not down with that. They tell her to drink, and she says she’s not hooking up with anyone. Cheers. Kyle tells Ben to swap dresses with Xandi, and they change behind a blanket. In Xandi’s interview, she says she’s going to want that back, by the way. In the taxi on the way back, Dylan laments that normally, Anthony would be next to him. On the boat, Kyle hugs Barbie and she leads him away to the bar. In her interview, she says, her mom’s a sex therapist and she has a conservative father. It’s her life problem. She wants to be modest, but she’s not. It’s something she’s figuring out in the world. Dylan asks Sunny, what’s with her and Ben, and Sunny says, they’re having fun once in a while. He says, so she’s not taken? and she says, definitely not. He says, if she’s free, then… He goes to kiss her, but it’s a hard no. He says, what about her cheek? but that’s also a no. In Sunny’s interview, she says, Dylan has no game. He doesn’t know how to flirt. If being mean and trash talking her behind her back is flirting, it’s a bit of an ick. In Barbie’s interview, she says, Kyle got a new side of her from the other guys she’s been with. She often needs a prerequisite, like looks, a job, or her father’s approval. They get in bed and get busy. Man, does this guy have a pineapple tattoo. A humongous pineapple under his hip. In her interview, Barbie says she’s falling for Kyle in a real and different way she’s never felt. He’s been her rock, her escape. They go in the bathroom, and we hear the shower running… and moaning. Alrighty then.

Next time, a Christmas party; a guest has a thing for Fraser; and Barbie disappoints herself for disappointing her father.

🍔 Have It Their Way…

Join me tomorrow for soap and VanderWTF. Until then, stay safe, stay being thankful for at least three things every day, and stay believing them when people tell you who they are.